Ep 504 - Reggie and Steve (feat. Billy)

Wow, wow, Wes. All right.
This is so fucking sick, dude. Yeah, this is actually 10 times better than I thought it would be.
I told you, dude. Yeah, you guys bring the fucking in-person vibes.
I'll bring cyber vibes. It'll be so tight.
Chill vibes or relax and study, too. We're going to chill.
Matt, you need to bring the full cyber vibes. Yeah.
Wait, dude. I can't believe you actually thought you'd look good in those.
I didn't say that looked good. I'm this was a fashion trend Matt was trying to put on.
They're just blue-like glasses. Actually, you look good, dude.
I look crazy. They're too small for my face.
They are small. You look like Gary Olman.
You look like you're from the future here. Get the big black ones.
What are the big black ones? They're just bigger than that. I have these and I have the reds.
The reds for real for nighttime. I'm not lying.
Those things are nice. If you put on the red glasses and chill from like 8 p.m.
to 11, you sleep like such a baby. Yes, but these are dangerous.
I was driving with these and I was at a gas station late at night, which don't drive with these on. Dude, it no one has their headlights on yeah i like it takes off all the hard lights that crush your eyes bro i thought someone dude was leaving the gas station without his headlights on so i gave him like the gang initiation headlight flicker yeah my headlights at the guy don't do that he was like that's hilarious i would do he pulled up on me and he was like pulled up he's like what's good bro and i was like, pulled up, and he's like, what's good, bro?

And I was like, your headlights are off.

And I lifted these up, and I went, oh, I'm sorry, dude.

I have these weird fucking glasses on.

It looks like your lights are off.

And he just shook his head and was like, later, dude.

Turns out I'm just chilling way too fucking hard.

Those are nice, though.

Where'd you find those?

Raw optics.

Raw optics.

Billy put me on.

Come on, bro.

Raw optics.

Put on.

Sun god.

The motherfucking sun god. I'm me on.
Come on, bro. Rye Optics.
Put on. Sun God.
The motherfucking Sun God.

I'm so happy to be with you guys.

This is fucking awesome.

I had some help.

Dude, that's everything going.

Don't act like I could pot all by myself.

I saw every dude down in Wawa was listening to that song.

This is about me. This is about me.
It's about me and my girlfriend, dude. I'm an alcoholic.
She's also a drunk. She helps me get drunk.
It's her fault. Everything's good.
Shit's going well. Philly, it's been nice.
It's been very nice being in Philadelphia. He's living like Bruce Wayne, bro.
I did spaz and get a ridiculous apartment. Might as well.

What the fuck else are you going to do? Yeah, it was only it's only

three months. It's the only thing I would spend money on

fucking a nice place to

live and maybe just comfy things like

a love sex actional

where you get anywhere and choose an

unlimited amount of designs, whatever you want.

And maybe sex.

Yo, Matt.

The heck, dude. What the heck, dude?

I'm kidding, dude.

Don't joke.

You get those glasses on, you get so sexual.

Yeah, you really do look like a hacker, bro.

You're such a sexual.

You guys want me to do a fucking burger?

You're a hacker, dude.

Who's the guy that just died?

Who sings Come Hot Lady?

Who's that dude that sings Come Hot Lady?

Fuck, I used to come out I used to come out on stage that at Helium what the fuck come my lady come come my lady nobody knows he just died come my lady come come my lady he died he just died damn alright Peter Ludd did his sugar baby mourn him I don't know sugar baby I think I think it was like a butterfly struggle with drugs.

Really?

Of the Hunter Biden persuasion crack.

Yeah, he was white smoking crack.

White tatted up.

Yeah, it tattoos all over him.

You'd imagine your hit coming out

and you're smoking crack and you're

just vibing to come my lady to that

song.

Yeah, obviously.

Yeah, I'm thinking about right now.

The intro of that song goes goes pretty hard. That, I'm thinking about it right now.
The intro of that song goes pretty hard.

That and Amber by 311 go pretty hard.

True.

Although, Come My Lady is so...

That's such a weirdly specific type of seduction.

That's like seduction for dudes with like ball, necklace.

It works, dude.

Dude, why are your glasses crooked right now?

Oh, fuck, dude. No, no, you look good, dude.
The more disheveled, the better you look. Can we not just focus on these? What the hell, dude? I can't believe everyone's talking about my glasses.
You're wearing red glasses, dude. You look not.
It's funny. But I always wanted to do a Zoom where I sat right up on it with glasses as big as I could.
It just makes me laugh. How was talking to this dick guy? That was insane, dude.
I didn't listen. It was...
I mean, again, I thought it was phenomenal. The text you sent me made me think you're a believer.
Dude, I think it all makes sense. I'd love to see it bunked.
You buy a wheel? Not yet. I'm definitely going to get one.
What do you do with the wheel? What do you do with the wheel? Stretch your fucking weenie. Bro, it...
Remember, I'm sorry. Remember, remember, remember.
First of all, it's called the male member. We don't call it penis.
We don't call it dick. We call it the male member.
It doesn't stretch anything. Stretching fucks you up.
This thing, it kind of like catches the... It's so much to explain, dude.
He talked to me for two hours about it. So basically, when a woman's trying to orgasm...
What's he working with? Oh, wait. You can't see how skinny you can.
I can see you guys. You can see this right there.
I can see. I can watch your every fucking movie.
I can see you guys. What's his inches? All he wants to say is he's no stranger to the back wall, and he's not bragging, but he's no stranger to the back wall.
He's hung. He came out and said, he goes, I'm hung.
He ruined his dick. He was a bodybuilder.
People are claiming to do like, you can't fucking break your skin with steroids. I don't fucking know about steroids.
I'm still nanny for now. All the doctors that listen to this podcast came out and debumped them.
That's impossible. So yeah, fair enough.
The epidermis can never shred like that. He couldn't be either way.
He couldn't be a bodybuilder.

He quit bodybuilding because it was just fucking him up.

He was taking steroids at 14 years old, dude.

I don't even know what that does to you.

Then he goes, if I can't be like the biggest.

True.

He's like, I can't be.

You just switch.

Yeah.

He transitioned.

Yeah.

True.

He was transitioned.

Stretch it out.

Well, not stretch it.

Put it on a wheel, I guess.

No, it's not even a wheel, bro. It to it's circular in nature so you're not far off but he uh bunch of rollers he was like if i can't if i can't you know obviously be the biggest i'm going to be the biggest you know he's like i'm gonna have a huge dick so he started doing all of the exercises started jelking jelking's bullshit it turns out he started jelking stretching been there injecting dude he was saying there's dudes out there that get they get so into the silicone game where that you can inject with like a you can do botox silicone and there's another thing he did he's like these dudes end up with like basketballs dude oh yeah fat basketball you ever see those bodybuilders in like turkey that have like way huge biceps like small tiny little forearms it's kind of a sick shortcut honestly no you look yeah you can get something like a beast at all you look insane like that on instagram the adult guy the adult guy that.
Yeah, my girlfriend's dad does. Oh, yeah.
You got to get spray tanned heavily when you're bodybuilding. But, dude, he was saying these guys get so much injection, some dudes end up with fat basketball dicks, so they need to use a sounding rod to help them pee.
Jesus Christ. He destroyed his dick.
He ruined his dick. He couldn't get it harder anymore it hard anymore he's like dude i don't even care about being big i just want my dick to work again that's when he started his research i'm not going to go into like the he figured out like how to increase it's like a common thing in the medical literature but it's basically how to increase your vascular system with like cardio you know exercise and then take and then take like the growth factor that grows during cardio.
And then kind of while it's in your blood flow, manipulating your penis in the primal movement pattern of a woman who's trying to get an orgasm, which she goes like up. He sat there for hours with a clipboard and watch porn and took notes of how women move.
Did he make the squirting video? Huh? Did he make the squ the squirting do you think those are real orgasms on porno he's gonna be bummed out some i mean if they're amateur here here's what he figured out a woman goes up like this she goes like when she's coming up she bucks forward and she's going down she bucks back so he figured out you have to push blood up through your spongioso layer which is the underbelly of your dick up to the glands and then down through the side dorsal veins on the side and he figured out how to move blood and then he said he's his dong came back and it's bigger than ever now based on the way he moves it he has a little thing like it's like a wheel that goes and like just keeps spinning blood up and down up and down i'm more of a of a semen X. The whole idea, to grow your vascular system,

you have to just force blood through it at higher volumes.

It's like your muscles, but that's what makes them adapt.

That's his theory.

I'm going to try one out.

I'll let you guys know.

I'll keep detailed logs.

I'm all about semen X.

Huh?

You ever see the hats on porno for semen X?

No.

Huge loads.

Yeah, it's to get massive loads.

Peter Norris. Oh, that's...

I think that's...

I think calcium and magnesium

will help you out with that.

What else are you doing?

I don't know.

I would like to hear more about

what you guys are doing

with your dick and cum.

Nothing.

I've just been on this Trump shit.

Oh, dude, fapping apparently

fucks you up.

So I'm all...

Fapping fucks up the size of your dick?

Yeah.

That checks out.

What the fuck? That checks out big time. Why'd they tell me I was gonna go blind dude they should have warned me about this i know i i instantly i mean dude it's it's tough though because i'm like he told me this and like you know his explanation that makes enough sense to me it's like your pelvic floor is contracting you're expending all this mental energy so then your body now you like you obviously like after you have sex you can't have sex right again because your body shuts everything down because it's like, yo, that took up a lot of resources.
No, I go like 10 rounds. Well, do they say you start like, in order to like, I mean, we go all night, obviously.
Obviously, the three of us go all night. Okay.
For like three days. I don't even like them.
I'm done. Why? dudes please leave get out right away i go like all night yeah i'm with you bill i go like all night like 10 rounds you know come on dude but he was he was saying dude start to like obviously you start watching crazier porn to like get get past that like barrier your brain's putting up to be like yeah dude like chill and then when they start doing too that's detrimental they start squeezing their dicks harder over time so you're just like choking your gizzard over time there's like a term for it it's like death grip something something you get that's how a lot of people get peronies um yeah but either way that's a hot button issue i don't want to i don't know i've been mired in controversy dude that seems controversial you go where they won't wouldn't it uh add the vascular thing if you're constantly getting hard i don't know i thought there would be a lot of blood that whole thing it all dude i don't know that's one of those things where for some reason this is what his claim is he was like it would but you're not moving the blood and When you're jelking, you're moving the blood through your

bodies, but you're just bursting capillaries

because it's like putting something in reverse. The blood

is supposed to flow in one way.

When you're jelking, you're kind of putting it up the wrong

way or you're putting it through the wrong chambers. It's like

a three-part system. It goes here,

goes there, comes out. He needs some help.

It's like running it in reverse.

That's just theory.

It's a fair thing. At least, you know, someone

else can investigate it.

You're not going to investigate it?

You're the tip of the spear.

I'm going to definitely

do it, dude. Brittany was not trying to have me do it.

She was like, please don't do that.

What's the matter, babe?

I was talking to Tom

about this. I was talking to my brother about this.
He's like, babes will

do that. They're always like, it's like if they're going to get implants like baby don't do that big ones hurt that's what they'll say that's the worst here yeah what i'm about to bring the pain yeah that's what i've been up to bro that and i i've been starting a series on uh autobiographies where i'm just reading autobiographies and cliff notes and i'm hopefully building up to like a bigger answering some bigger questions about how life will live but that's it dude that's me in a nutshell right now i was trying to get your dick bigger figuring out bigger mind read autobiographies yeah exactly and and i'm obviously obviously trying to stay in a quantum state at all times about that too what's what that, too.
What the fuck is that? Full human optimization. That's what I'm talking about, dude.
Not collapsing into particle reality. Just staying quantum as much as I can.
By not jerking it? Then get your dick bigger. Dude, the universe is infinite possibilities.
If I stay in quantum state, my dick could get bigger from a thing I got on the internet internet it's so funny to go into science to try to get a bigger dick to lose yourself in the literature dude he for real he said he was like he had to stop going to college for a while something happened where he just like had to go he must have been jacked in college dude he was 5'9 276 how how old is this man now he must be in his 30s he's got a couple kids i think he's in his like mid 30s but dude he went to college for sociology he went to college for sociology just so he could have access to the literature so he just went to school just never heard of a library bullshit no they can't get peer-reviewed literature it's super expensive oh yeah it's all paywall they do a lot of that stuff dude it's so if you want to get like current day studies like 300 per it's it's kind of about as much as a semester of college yeah you could just pay the paywall if you want it if you want like study study study you can print out as many as you want you guys didn't go to graduate school you guys have no idea sounds gay as shit that's so dumb yeah right. I could become a doctor like that if I wanted to.
I could become a doctor of nonsense. You look like Dr.
Robotnik. You look like a Sonic the Hedgehog.
Bad guy. Bad guy.
You're going to fight a cartoon right now. They keep getting crooked on you, too.
You look like you just tuned. That's how you know you hit the boss.
His glasses get off. It's guilty.
And he tie back. It's a counterpoint.
His glasses tilt. You're like, yeah, 300 bucks, dude.
Fuck that. I'm going to college.
Dude, I won't let you guys diminish me, dude. We're not diminishing you.
We're letting you. Turns out you get a premium subscription to PubWeb and read it all.
Dude, you guys are just mirroring my weaknesses for me right now. Thank you for that.
I'm just supporting you 100%. It's huge.
Honestly, of course, dude, you couldn't do anything. But if your dick gets big, that would be awesome.
It'd be great. If your dick gets big, I'm coming for notes, dude.
I need to figure this out. That's what he said.
Everyone does. Everyone talks shit.
Yeah. He goes, whenever he tells people what he does, they clown him as hard as they can.
And then he goes, at the end of the night, they take me and say, I go, yo, bro. What were you talking about? I need some help.
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And he's like, that's he, that's one of the more primary applications. He's like, this will get your boner work.
It's like for real. It'll, it'll just, I don't know.
We'll see. I'll, I'll know more about it when I do it firsthand.
That's another thing I'm going to be doing. The blue, I wear red light glasses.
Once I put my dick wheel on every night, my wife's going to be so turned on. You are going to look like a fucking bad guy to be the game of the dick wheel you're gonna be fucking crazy it's gonna be satanic dude if your kids walk in they're not gonna walk in on that if your kid walks in and sees you in red glasses naked using a dick wheel it's gonna be life i'll do it at my office i'll do it at my office you're gonna look like an like an AI prompt.
Draw a bad guy who's naked. Who's dragging his dick bigger.
Draw a horny villain. I'm going to go for just fully functional.
I'm going to go for fully functional. That's all.
I want to go. Did you have a, I mean.
You're 100% on your villain arc, bro. Dude, I welcome it.
That'd be sick. I love how you started working out for three weeks.
Now you're your dick huge i stopped working out for a couple weeks why also body's done dude mission accomplished now it's on to the cock well dude i mean i might be off i might be completely out of the aesthetics game yeah it is guy well dude i was watching a video last night of this bud sent it to me of a, it was like another X I'm surrounded by ex bodybuilders.

Connie,

Connie Murphy.

Yes.

He sent me the Connor Murphy,

Connor Murphy video.

And he was saying that like,

dude,

if you're,

if you're an aesthetically pleasing man,

like ripped and shredded,

obviously he was like,

and you don't have like the sense of self or self-confidence.

Women will see right through that.

And the only person you'll attract or gay guys.

Yeah.

I was like,

Holy shit.

He's so right. Yeah.
Like every bodybuilder is like 97 men followers yeah like chicks who were on tape he calls for you have to just have a you have a confident dad bod he's like that's the only way he's like if you get too ripped you'll just get approached by men so hard to have that go to the beach one time oh devastating dad bod oh it's impossible i told you that atccaffrey's wedding i just had to stand on the shore shirtless while him and his hot ass friends swam just did it wrong his bro is like a professional surfer they were out surfing i just had to stand there just keep on the shore just like god damn did you goth out i get yeah we talked about that i did goth oh yeah right until last i was was like i got close enough to the water you can't fully goth yeah yeah and the water was freezing i was like all right i'll get in where was it it was in rhode island damn man it was freezing i got in jumped out real quick i was i ran goth out ran back to the shore put a shirt on still soaked just talking about you didn't see where your dick is constantly yeah i was in gym shorts i was like i need i need a towel i need some help oh you're in gym shorts you get those wet and that's the vacuum seal that's the full vacuum seal that's the gender reveal party and it was like 60 degree water maybe it was freezing that'd be a sick idea for gender reveal to like pop the balloon and just pull a gigantic dildo. I just saw this yesterday.
The Madonna and her it's an old picture, but she she was leaving a sex shop with her boyfriend and paparazzi was there and they got a picture and the flash went through the bag and showed that she was buying a strap on. Isn't that very funny? The dude's behind her like smiling.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Is he younger than her or older?

I think he was younger.

It was an old boy.

It was an old thing.

I just had never seen it until yesterday.

Spade's over in Rome right now, and he has a chess camera, a hat.

He has his headset talking to me.

You guys are fucking.

What is going on here?

What?

He's over there with a chess cam and that. Mattson pulling his dick with red glasses on what are you guys up to they keep calling spade paparazzi like my paparazzi my paparazzi come here he's hot as shit too he had 30 000 steps that are yesterday he burned a thousand calories walking why does he do that every time he goes there i don't know he just likes walking around getting footage oh he enjoys he enjoys the walk bit of a vilear i thought he was just lost constantly oh no no he now he's just like rolling around seeing shit he was filming some dude at like 1 a.m in the pantheon doing push-ups he had his girlfriend filming him and he's just sitting there screaming in italian some inspirational shit that That's actually pretty awesome.
Was he influencing?

I think so.

I mean, I can't understand Italian.

It's a beautiful language, but I can't understand it.

True.

Right now we have huge fish to fry, bro.

Yeah.

Austin Wealth, your guy's fucking town.

Did you see that?

No, what's that?

No.

Austin Wealth Management is like, I think it's Soros, BlackRock, Vanguard,

are the biggest holders, but they shorted the Donald Trump stock

the day before he got shot.

Massively shorted the Donald Trump stock.

He got shot.

They put a put on it or whatever the fuck you call it,

and then it just tanked, so they had to sell it real quick.

I think they're the same people, or that same squad is the same people

who shorted all the flights and shit before 9-11 what the fuck what's a you i mean what do you think i think that's fucked up yeah what do you think about the fbi lady who was sitting there which one you see footage allegedly of an fbi i'm just following dom luker breaker of narratives i don't know what the talking about? What's this? They say, no, they say there was a lady who was like an FBI director who was like sitting right behind him, which. Oh, yeah.
I don't know. That was like her next in a matchup.
They said some girl from the FBI was like watching it happen and shit. That was BS.
It might have been BS. There's no way they're that dumb.
They're fucked up. Yeah.
The Trump maniacs are coming. That was that was incredible, dude.
Did you see the RNC? Did you watch Hogan? Hulk Hogan gave a speech at the RNC, and it was undeniably great, dude. McCusker, I've been with O'Connor this whole time.
It's been so fun just being like, bro, you guys are down so bad. He can't.
Have can't that he even o'connor has to even admit

like fuck just came out and said trump's a badass for doing that oh really i mean that maybe the

pendulum's swinging i just want the left to stop spewing hateful rhetoric that promotes violence

political violence bro i don't laugh about that shit at all political violence is extremely scary

Thank you. I just want the left to stop spewing hateful rhetoric that promotes violence.
Political violence, bro.

I don't laugh about that shit at all.

Political violence is extremely scary.

That was a cool shit.

And if you got, you know, don't blindside me of any political violence jokes, dude,

because I'll walk away from this.

Yeah, that tenacious D broke up because of it.

I wish they didn't.

That's dude.

It's a travesty, man.

Yeah.

Kyle gas, dude. His nasty little ass came out was like kyle it's kyle little nasty kyle i was just like don't miss next time yeah man i mean that's all right it was just a little little tiny joke it's a little edge joke dude we got i i didn't think it was that big of a fucking deal but apparently jack did yeah everything they've all been like he should die why what's the you're wishing death on a man then death comes near him and you're like your guy take that all back like for what what are your real sentiments if you guys if he died they'd be happy just stick be honest it was worst case scenario i mean just skimmed his head he stood up and put his fist like, holy shit, dude.
Whatever situation room that was that was trying to pull all that off. I was trying to be like, fuck.
No way. You hit his ear.
They were in denial right up front. I called Phil that night.
I called Phil that night. He was fucking fired up, dude.
I waited. I waited until the sun was going down.
I knew Phil was going to have a couple of drinks for the celebrating the president. I was like, what do you think of that? I called him.
He goes, I'll tell you what. He showed me something.
That guy showed me something last night. He's a tough son of a bitch.
He got up. He wanted to fight that guy.
He wanted to find him. I was like, yeah, hell yeah, dude.
It's kind of incredible that he got dog piled by secret service and was able to walk the next day if i was like 80 78 years old dude and a bunch of dudes jumped on me i wouldn't be able to walk for like three days no shit wait what you wouldn't be able to walk after the guys piled on you yeah the pause obviously i said that not my house well guys and girls to be fair guys and girls yeah there was some brave women that did you see the transcript that stayed send you that wait guys and girls there was girls on his team i know but would you do guys and girls we were talking about trump but uh i think they piled on him and like he just like found a little pocket of air between two late like a tits he was just kind of breathing he was fine did the transcripts? No. It was like all the dudes like 100% business.
And then the one, it was like female secret service. Yeah, the one that looks exactly like me.
God damn it, dude. That was, I thought the horse I saw it first before.
Obviously, if I see someone that looks like me, I'm like, oh, great. The shooter.
Oh shooter oh it's just my luck they put up a thing where it was a picture of the shooter and they gave him xxx and tash ellen's braids did you see that no he looked the picture kind of looks like me it's fucking bizarre my cousin tried to hit me with i look like the shooter i was like dude i do not hold on i'll try to find it tell me this shit you don't think the shooter's handsome no not at all i think that kid's a fucking weirdo does that not look like me no it doesn't look anything like you had a little bit in the nose and eyes bro you fucking wish dude yeah i've seen a lot yeah his chin throws it off but from like head down and once you stop the chin we kind of look like kind of look like we hold none of the same fucking thing. Supposedly as three offshore accounts.
Really? Who set them up? Did he really contribute? Did he contribute to deep blue as well? Act blue. Act blue.
Act blue. My bad.
That's what it's called. Yeah.
He was a registered Republican, which is a move that some people might do if they want to vote for the one Republican. Primary.
They don't want to win. Yeah, they'll do it for the primaries.
But he's an act blue supporter. And the other thing that's coming out, you know, the CrowdStrike thing that just happened.
Yeah. CrowdStrike, Microsoft, all the fucking planes had to go down.
Yeah. O'Connor missed his flight this morning from that.
From that? Okay. So does CrowdStrike ring a bell? You sat on my couch and farted for an extra five hours.
You said that as I was farting myself. Yeah, so I get surprised.
It's a vibration. Dude, hold on.
I know I'm off topic. Ocomman crushes NA beers.
Why? Nonstop. For like? Like at all time.
Like this morning before he left, he had like four NAs. Is there any alcohol at all? Zero alcohol.
So he just drinks hops. 45 calorie cans of like just hops.
And then he just sits on your couch and farts. It'd be like railing CBD all day long.
It's fucking wild. The farts that that guy's putting out from these NAs are.
Yeah. And all those beers are just sprayed with glyphosate so you're like you're not even getting drunk like at least if you drink beer you get like drunk if not you're just like drinking glyphosate ridden fucking barley or wheat whatever is he doing this non-socially just non-socially i'm like he literally just crushes any beers st paul he just likes them he just likes them i mean yeah that's That's crazy, though.
Yeah. He drinks them the way Bill drinks seltzers.
I love seltzers.

I love seltzers.

Like six at all times drinking, crushing them.

That's like methadone.

That's pretty wild.

I don't understand it.

Did he give you a reason?

No, he said he just loves them.

It's literally just he loves them.

Do you get hungover from that?

I hope you drink enough, you can get a little buzz. No, I don't think so.
No, it's literally just he loves him do you get hung over enough you get a little buzz

no i don't think so no you don't get it's no it's zero alcohol but i'm just saying like any other shit that i mean i'm sure you get sick it's like i mean the farts the farts were fucking crazy you might get an a beer belly or any beer belly definitely if you're drinking yeah let's get a six pack shredded

what's the DRT

I don't know some type, it was called like athletic beer or some shit. Oh, yeah.
St. Paulie's girl.
Sweet. I just always liked that.
Which I was kind of happy because I didn't say anything, and I just saw him crush a six-pack of them. And I was like, damn, this guy's drinking a six-pack of IPAs this morning before a flight.
I was like, damn, Connie's got a problem. Bro, please work with a local brewer and get some fake NAs and just break them off all the time.
Just make them 150 proof? Have you ever tried them? I took a sip. It was disgusting.
Oh, God, dude. It's like a bad beer.
Yeah, they got to remove it with some sort of chemical. With decaf, they use ethylene to strip the caffeine.
So, yeah, removing alcohol, it's got to be some sort of solvent. Which would be crazy because alcohol is a solvent.
It's probably the same shit when you're a little kid at a party and drink 40 Pepsis and just have a raging headache. Every community party, just rail fucking 40 Pepsis and just go home with a splitting headache.
Every community party just rail fucking 40

Pepsis and just go home with like a splitting

headache. Oh, yeah.

Either way, it's been delightful to

see the O'Connor man having to accept that

Trump actually is kind of cool.

He's been very fun. He's probably drinking those NAs to take the edge off.

Dude, he was on my couch

during the Hulk Hogan speech.

It's beautiful. You tape his eyes open.
He was like, to all the Democrats out there, I got one question for you. What you going to do when the Trump-a-maniacs run wild on you? Oh, no, man.
We've won. And I was just standing above the couch where he was yelling, just like, what the fuck are you going to do, Chris? I mean, dude, they're like a massive control center being like, all right, we're losing black guys at an astounding pace.
It's over, sir. Hulk Hogan has come out officially as a trumpet maniac.
God fucking damn it. He called him the trumpet maniacs.
He had Kid Rock and Hulk Hogan and Dana White. We're fucked.
Yeah. And Hulk Hogan ripped his shirt off.
Oh, my God. Yeah, and he's still jacked, dude.
he's still kind of curious he's i mean he's probably on uh he's probably on gender affirming care that's why i call trt now my one boy's on trt i just asked him how's your gender affirming care going it's literally the same exact thing you're taking testosterone to feel more like a man.

Yes.

That is gender affirming.

It's devastating.

Especially if you're on testosterone, you're probably like, shut the fuck up.

Yeah. I don't think you can come off.

I guess you can come off.

Like how once you're on it, can't you like, well, you have to stay on it at a certain

point.

I think you have to stay on it.

Yeah.

I mean, you're not producing that shit by yourself.

You need some help.

Speak for yourself, brother. You see me.
No, I'm saying if you're on. No, I've seen you.
Matt, can I get yourself. You need some help.
Speak for yourself, brother.

You see me.

No, I'm saying if you're on.

No, I've seen you.

Matt, can I get a flex real quick?

Are you looking jacked, dude?

Yo, bro.

What the fuck?

God damn.

That's just the can.

That's just the can, dude.

No, that's crazy.

Let me see that again.

That's good angle.

Yo, bro.

That's good angle.

You look so jacked, dude.

What the fuck's wrong with you?

Roddy, Roddy, Piper.

Wait, why are you so jacked?

I've taken two weeks off, so I guess my body finally got to assimilate all that hard work

I did.

I don't know.

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Now for real, let's get back to the show. Actually, before we get back to the show, please, I'll be in San Jose pretty soon.
I think in like two weeks, go to mattmccusker.com slash dates, San Jose. I'll be in Virginia Capitol Hall or Tyson's Hall, whatever it is.
I'll be in New York City. I'll be in a bunch of places.
If you want to see me do stand-up, do mattmccusker.com slash dates. And also go to shanemgillis.com for all of Shane's dates as well.
There's a bunch on there. Big one in Philadelphia.
There I say the link.

And much more. So

please, and look up LaMare

Sean Gardini on social media.

Check those guys out.

Yeah, that's it. Thank you guys.
We'll get back to the show.

Hopefully Sean edits that down to it.

It's a very quick and enjoyable

advertisement. Are you on TRT?

No, I'm not. Are you on TRT?

Are you natural? That does not look natural, man. I want the want the bill you know mom came at me once for being on steroids it didn't feel good my own family came at me in college like bro are you taking something i said bro you're just wildly emotional thank you but you're saying i don't have help you were just wildly emotional i i i the only thing i ever took was that one time i i did i genuinely didn't know it was that thing fuck with my emotions.
Was Matt wildly emotional? When he was on his roids? Yeah. Oh.
Your animal impact or whatever the fuck it was. Animal impact.
I think it was like methyl oxymoron. That was the only thing I ever took.
I just heard animal impact, dude. They banned it.
You can't take it. Or at least that ingredient they had.
So, yeah, that did, I think, fuck me up a little bit for a couple of days. I was on my motherfucking period.
I remember that, yeah. You became a lady.
You went in your room and cried and shit. Classic tales all the time.
I thought people were using me for weird, and I got really sad. I was going to say, though, you've always been, to me, a very emotionally stable guy.
I don't see you freak out. Yeah, I don't.
Well, my freak outs are more internal, which I've been champing them as of late. But my freak outs are more quiet and internal.
Yeah, it's like a slow, steady burn. So like the dude behind you in that painting.
Yeah, bro. That's me.
Yeah, quite. You know, that was great.
You know, that was grandmommy's bill. It was.
It was grandmommy's painting. I never met any of my grandmothers.
Neither did I, bro. Really? All we have is each other.
Yeah, dude. That was the fucking old you think I am.
I don't know. I forget.
I remember Tom crying about her. I'm not, you know, putting his business out there.
Who the fuck cries when their grandma dies, bro? They were young. They were like, I was, this is one of my first memories.
I was like a tiny little kid and i remember my brother being like i miss grandma and i had no idea who he was talking about yeah if you're a little kid if you actually know i never knew my grandparents like that that's the worst going to fucking funerals immediately the men you get in there's like don't cry don't cry don't cry yeah yeah I might wail hard the next one I go to.

You should.

I'm going to let it out.

You ever fantasize about eulogizing somebody and then crying at the podium and everybody

supporting you?

No.

No, definitely not.

Me either.

I wear it.

No, I think about it, man.

I don't think about everyone supporting me.

I think about how the fuck am I going to do that?

I'll definitely cry.

Yeah, obviously.

I cry.

If anyone else in the room has emotion about something I'm talking about it makes i'll cry instantly yeah if i like show so i was watching guardians of the galaxy again three yeah dude me and spade watch the person i was watching with someone and they started like crying and i was like yeah i guess it is really sad like dude if one other person cares i'm gonna cry me and spade went when we went to San Diego to see you guys, you were performing with you, Matt, and everyone. Me and Spade were waiting for a flight.
We went to the movie theater in Coronado, and we're in almost a front row, a seat divided in between us, obviously. And we watched Guardians of the Galaxy, and both almost cried.
Matt caught me. We've talked about it.
Guardians of the Galaxy 2 on the way to Australia, I was sobbing. And then Matt looked at the screen.
It was a bunch of aliens and fireworks. He was like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Nah, dude, when Groot died like that, that fucked me up for one time.
Spoiler alert, obviously. But like that.
Now, Groot's back. Don't worry.
Yeah, Groot is back. He survived.
Dude, kids books. I'm telling you, dude, if you have kids and you read the kids books to them where it's like I have one that's where they're excited about it.

That would make me cry.

It's like my kid.

Yeah.

You see, they can be just kind of like what like my there's one my Brittany's mom got

us.

That's like a thing for my it's one of those personalized kids books where they use their

names.

And when you're when you're four, I'll be six.

And here's what we do.

And they go all the way to the point where they're like, you know, they're finally adults

in this picture. And then the next page is they're sitting on this thing.
I'm the whole time. I'm like, oh, my God.
No. And then the next one is them sitting on the same ledge, but then like back in their toddler version, dude.
And it's just like every night I'm like, and then I'll be gone. And you'll have your own kids.
She's been hammering. She's been hammering with that.
She's like, why is pop so old? I'm like, I don't know. He's old.
He's going to die soon. I'm like's like why is pop so old i'm like i don't know he's old like he's gonna die soon i'm like i mean yeah relatively like i don't know like she's like you're gonna die then i want to be by myself i'm scared and i'm like bro oh my god can we please go to bed that's the saddest statement ever that would make me cry he's been hammering me with stuff but no i've been telling her um i i've also been told dude if any creature comes in my house, I'm fucked.
I have her convinced

that I can choke alligators.

I'm absolutely pummeled.

It's because you're flexing it, dude.

Those are some gator chokers, bro.

That's crazy. You might be a Trump-maniac.

You literally look like a Trump-maniac

right now. Matt, who are you going to vote

for, Joe Biden or Donald Trump?

Trump, obviously, dude. What the fuck, dude? I can't believe you're a fucking Nazi, bro.
I wish they wouldn't miss next time. Make America aim again.
Bill, you just fucking blindsided me, dude. I'm sorry.
Podcast is done, dude. Make America aim again.
I will reflect on this. I'm going to reflect and take time to really think about this.
No, podcast is done, dude. You made a we're gonna cancel i was buying tickets that he was they're doing they were doing my niece asked me to go see it they're doing a penn state show you're lost jack black i love tenacious dude that's the greatest movie i don't care if they say gay shit exactly who cares neil young still rules yeah dude i and he's as corny as it gets oh he's so He so good.
He's severely disappointed me in many ways. Yeah, but.
Playing his music the other day. I've been in Bill's ass.
You also like, it's one of those things, too, where it's like, you just have to understand. I've been in Bill's ass home.
Bill's not gay for real, though. Oh, yeah.
I wonder if people from my high school think I i'm gay because everything i post on anything it's just like gay bill gay bill gay and even if you were who cares but you're not it is fine but either you're not but we wouldn't care at all even if i was and you do see me out and about walking two tiny pomeranians they're my girlfriends alpha yo Alpha. Yo, Matt, Reggie and Stevie are here.
Oh, my God. Just got to meet Reggie and Stevie.
Wait, you just got them right now? Just got them. Yeah, five o'clock.
Sorry to say you just got your dogs like that, because that was the gay. You just got your dogs? Are all the Oscars gay? No, no, no, no.
I mean, we might be like gladiator gay. I would say that, dude, especially now you're fucking jacked.
I haven't seen you in so long. How'd you get this jacked? I've just been fucking.
It's wild. Are you the strongest McCusker now? Yeah, you're going to start another McCusker backyard wrestling match, dude.
Please don't do this. Wait, are you? Do you actually kind of based on that flex? You actually might be the strongest McCusker.
Billy can still lift more than me.

Billy's significantly the strongest McCusker.

Aesthetics, I might have the market cornered in aesthetics.

You're definitely the most handsome.

You're an aesthetic lifter.

I'm talking about being jacked.

Yeah, yeah.

But I'm getting out of the aesthetic game right now.

Now I'm just getting into pure functionality.

Yeah, but it's just such a jacked, likeascular no veins dude just an old wrestler you literally are a thick man dude like brett the hitman heart right now yeah it's crazy there's not one vein just jacked yeah we're so i'm not vast hold on man i mean i could probably get some vasculation going there that's that was one thing the dude was saying the penis guy that cracked me up he's like bro my arms are like fucking the road map and i was like let's see let's go fuck i wish i could never do that i'm retaining water my salt intakes high but i'm retaining water i'm actually pretty like a lot of times when i get like blood work done the nurses are like damn like you have a great you have great you ever hear that when they're like you have great veins oh yeah yeah yeah so they like you know my vascularity i wouldn't really come out pretty popular in the doctor's office you're not bragging i haven't been i haven't been to the doctor dude i haven't gone in forever neither do i just let shit be fucked up and if it goes away in three months i stop worrying about it and if it doesn't i stop thinking about it True that Dude True that. Dude, I forgot Deeds was here.
Deeds is in the corner. Deeds is a little cool.
Deeds is doing it. Yeah, bro.
So dark. I can barely see the Deeds.
I just sent my fucking, you know, I just sent one of my motherfucking hitters out there. Dude, the fucking room at night.
I painted the ceiling and the walls, everything navy blue. So when you're watching TV and stuff, it just becomes a fucking void that's what's up just something i was going for you know it's cool i like that you're bill you're you are an interior design beast bro you are an interior designer thanks why what's up why are you smiling i'm just proud of you i'm happy that you love decorating.
Me and Shane, we put the Xbox up.

Come on, dude.

No, dude, that's the new Alpha Wave, dude.

Getting into interior design, like, nah, babe, I'm going to pick the curtains.

Fall back.

These are cool curtains, aren't they?

They're nice.

They are very cool.

Very whims.

You're very good at this.

Your aesthetic, you have a very Turkish aesthetic, which I like it.

I have Moroccan lights hanging up.

I got to finish the other two. I got them from Marrakes that.
You know, we're one percent Middle Eastern, bro. Are we? Yeah, man.
I got my 23 and me. We're 0.1% Western.
Yeah, right. Dude, their Twitter is insane.
They just tweeted the Houthis found out. It was like a picture of a fighter jet in On Fire City.
It's like, dude, relax. Wait, what? If you go on Israel's Twitter, like one of the things is like the Houthis found out it was like a picture of a fighter jet and on fire city it's like dude relax wait what if you go in israel's twitter like one of the things is like the houthis just found out and they just like carpet bombed the houthis it's just like a bunch of buildings on fire so this is a fucking weird israel gets on twitter and talks shit that's crazy that you you hit him with one fucking ouchie and they're like oh my god stop.
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Who runs through Twitter?

I don't know.

It's like some chicks or some shit.

Biden's Twitter is going crazy right now.

Biden's Twitter went a little nuts, dude. Why are they doing that? Let him go.
You see his I'm sick tweet. Yes.
Of blah, blah, blah. What a fucking crazy move.
Yeah, he's demented, dude. I thought he was really coming to grips with.
I thought he was like, which, you know, I guess that was their whole play. But it's like going to use accusations of dementia to be like, check out out my fucking please give me more money.
It's like, dude, what? Yeah, he like did a whole like review of Trump's thing and it's just obviously a 25 year old girl tweeting. Folks.
Yeah. Come on.
Listen. Marky up there.
I mean, I wish him the best of luck. If he really sees this thing through man, that's gonna be nuts dude like i i think i think i don't think i'm like fucking extreme but like if biden got shot i wouldn't be like good fuck that asshole fucking loser it's like terrible of course i felt bad watching the debate it's like dude this is fucked up like this guy's fucked in the head and then fucking trump gets shot and all the uh they then start freaking out yeah well they had that thing.
First of all, it's like they're the ones now being guns. It's like never the thing.
Oh, you don't have to. It's just funny because like they in order to they have to either show Trump sympathy or become conspiracy theorists, which they like disavow.
It's called blue. Is it? I mean, are you familiar? I've heard of blue.
Yeah, political karma. I mean, they were using so many tools and it's just funny to watch them trap by their own tools it is making me laugh it happens every fucking time covid my body my choice roe v way they it's someone is setting them up for just logic owns on themselves constantly that's that's the thing dude i always i mean you know libs libs are going to get owned but they're in champs they own themselves bro well i mean they're denying a shooting which is a no no i know you can't do that like it was obviously staged i dude i for real i like entertain the thought myself and i just kept thinking about i'm like dude i don't know how you'd pull that off because they're they're going to freedom of information act all the dems are going to they want it to be fake so they're going to have to try to prove it was fake.
And they're going to have to go rush, rush, rush all over again. Did you see the fucking one guy's email? So the founder of LinkedIn, his political advisor.
Somebody was just telling me about this. I was telling you about it.
What is it? His top political advisor was just at nighttime messaging journalists, like, like guys we have to ask the question

like this is a i know it's terrible to think about but this is a common play with putin did it in whatever he said two-third 1999 or whatever i don't know 2004 putin did it this is like hamass does false flags it's not without we got to like see if this could be a trump false flag basically being like he's in leagues with Putin and Hamas. It's just Hamas and Trump.
Trump, Putin, Hamas. They're the only guys that are doing false flags.
Dude, that's the thing. That's the funny thing.
It's like, dude, if you're going to call false flags. Yeah, dude, I mean, Bill, Bill, I hear you.
If you want to keep YouTube monetization, I don't know if it's still like this, but you have to say FF. During when Q was hot, they would say FF so they didn't get demonetized.
He did. He put the email out.
One of his journalist buddies leaked the email. Obviously, it was like, yo, this guy's wild.
And then he had to come out and be like, I wasn't approved by my team. I deeply apologize.
It's like, dude, you're getting wild. Just get fucking wild.
Do your job, dude. The best is people are getting harassed like there's people who like work at lowe's and home depot and they'll be on facebook like i wish they would have shot trump and like guys are going to home depot and filming like 56 year old ladies like so you want the president you think that's cool you think political violence is cool like i'm at my job sir holy fucking shit yeah it's really sad the state of affairs is truly sad you must not watch the rnc bro yeah you watch that you go that's cool we're back no that's cool i'm talking about rolling up to the lows to like attack a 50 year old lady and be like say it again bitch say it again yeah of course talking about djt to my fucking face yeah that's my my president.
Yeah, the thing that's really weird, though, with the crowd strike tanking is they were in charge of the servers from the DNC. Do you remember that? That said they got hacked by Russia.
So crowd strike is the people who had the servers that Trump was trying to get to, which he alluded to in the perfect phone call to Vladimir Zelensky. Do you remember the perfect phone call? No, what's's the perfect phone call the thing that he got in trouble for and there was the russia investigation because he called ukraine was like i want to know what the fuck's going on yeah it's the perfect phone call why do you call it he didn't say anything wrong it was a perfect phone call according to trump but crowd strikes fucking weird as shit because they were denying fbi access to the fucking servers so like the fbi was trying to get in the servers and crowd strike was like no and you know what the company where crowd strikes from the ukraine what bro bill this crowd i mean trump gets shot they miss they short his stock and then a few days later all their shit goes down and crowd strike is one of the people that were out to get trump in the 2016 election and then helps the oh their servers are down now i see what you're saying well crowd strike's a fucking company that like runs all the shit so like they got a fucking allegedly it was like someone did some update that fucked up but i don't know dude i mean just deleting some i think it was they probably hired the guy who was watching epstein in his cell and he had a new job he's like god damn it i fucked up again son of a bitch i thought i was supposed to update oh why can't i get this right dude i keep missing my big opportunities yeah it's just real weird because all that shit's tied into like the austin wealth management company that shorted trump stock and fucking crowd strikes wild like i heard that name i completely forgot but it's back in like 2016 Pizzagate era.
Fucking Russian collusion. All has to do with CrowdStrike.
And they're bad actors, bro. Yeah, they got to chill.
In Russia, dude. You'll hear about it.
You'll hear about it in five years. Like the stolen election and the fake vaccines.
I heard that. I heard that.
Next year's news today. I watched your boy Jones on Tim on tim dylan oh it was great that was wild my boy he's swigging vodka he's on vacation is he chugging vodka in that tito's yeah yeah little uncle tito's in the morning ripping cigs chugging chugging vodka he's all vacation bro he's just hanging why did he cover the screen to chug the vodka what he blur it yeah he put his hand over the lens and then chug vodka oh maybe because he didn't want to see people watch him swig vodka yeah but then he would like put the bottle down and go oh he's like almost puke like 10 times he was drunk he wasn't like with all of his faculties doing it right he just covered the screen then let go there's just a bottle of tino's and he's puking's fucking nuts i didn't know he ripped cigs like that well i mean when he's on vacation i fucking ripped cigs yesterday how many cigs do you smoke bro i smoked two cigs yesterday in probably one of the best days of my life oh shit what happened to the company i do work for terra firma they had their golf outing at the squires Club up in Ambler, PA.
And dude, I mean, what a fucking... It is dudes only.
Chicks aren't allowed there. There's no chicks working there.
There's nothing. It's just only dudes.
A clubhouse and a golf thing, so we went. You had dudes only? Yeah, it was dudes only.
Best day of my life. You get dog piled.
They pile on you at the clubhouse. So you go there, you eat lunch.
He did have a a little limp i watched it when he was playing with his pomeranians he had a little of a fucked up foot dude jesus christ what happened to your foot i fucked it up a while ago and it was a bone bruise worse than a break sunset dude sometimes sometimes those things you can get um you'll get those like calcified over and it'll be like a sore spot. I had a sore spot in my arm for like five years, dude.

Like it hurt.

Yeah, this fucking hurts.

If you get a contusion, you can calcify over the contusion.

You get like a bruise trapped under a bone.

It's really weird.

I have one of those on my ankle.

Do you really?

Gigantic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But we fucking on foosball?

No, I don't know what it was from.

Yeah.

I mean, it was when I was playing football.

Yeah, I got an MRI for my knee and they're like, you have a tumor on your leg.

Damn.

They're like, actually, it's just just blood under Bain.

Yep.

Anyway, that's good stuff.

We played.

We all have that.

We played golf.

And then afterwards, he had a three pound lobster and filet and shit.

It was fucking awesome.

And then I went home.

What'd you shoot?

Oh, horribly.

It was best ball for some balls.

Thank you. a three pound lobster and filet and shit it was fucking awesome and then i went home what'd you shoot oh horribly it was best ball foursome balls and then the caddy the best balls the caddy informed me that my clubs are too short you did not have the best balls at the guys trip we used a few of my shots it's my sixth time playing so i mean really i need some help what do you are you more driver putter oh dude i'm horrible at driving like driving so hard so bad it makes me want to fucking quit but i'm nasty with the chip that's dude that's crazy that's my that's my strength as well i think it's a lot of people's strength because they're driving so hard it's fucking impossible possible yeah i think the experts say you're supposed to hit the ball as hard as you possibly can and just break your teeth as hard as you can.
Yeah, you're supposed to take a little hop step. You go, hey, everyone, watch.
Happy Gilmore. And then you miss it.
Everything's very counterintuitive. But they were awfully pumped up about Shane and his Kill Tony appearance.
Oh, nice. Bro, that thing's going brazy.
Yeah, it is. Antonio Brown likes it.
That's all that matters. Yeah, Antonio Brown gave you Cracker of the Day and the other one.
I was double awarded. Black guy of the Day.
Yin and Yang. You are the Yin-Yang, bro.
Oh, I just opened my Twitter and he said he called somebody the faggot of the month. Who got it? C-T-E't know.
Some guy named Frankie preel. He commented underneath him.
No one likes you. He said faggot of the month.
He's unstoppable. He is unstoppable.
That video of him in fucking Dubai is insane. We defended him.
What do you mean? The Dubai video. What about she was laughing? They were having fun were having fun they were having fun he took his penis out it's a funny prank to play amongst friends yeah i didn't think it was yeah he didn't like i don't know whatever let's not bring that up dude me and ab are boys dude always ball let's not bring that up okay judge a man by his darkest moment.
Did you see his dick in the video? I don't remember. Loch Ness monsters, that thing.
He flopped it out of the water. He's been using the circle.
He's got the wheel. Yeah, he's been using the wheel, bro.
He's got the wheel big time. I've made a vow to myself when I get out of the pool now, I don't adjust my bathing suit.
I mean, that's like release tension. Now I'm like, no,'m like no just this is what it is yeah you're just like a fucking step one step one of having a confident sexy dad bod is like you got to show the teen us at all times as well yeah i mean that the only people who do that are you and like seventh graders who are unaware of that you can see they're fully adult-sized penis and somehow got put on their body shit was the same size i've been in been in like six grade.
Yeah, it hasn't changed. I look like a beast in sixth grade.
Yeah. Tom never let that go.
You can claim in the three fingers wide, seven inches and seven three. Three fingers? No, I never said three fingers.
Is Tom embellished? He might be embellished. I think he was embellished.
You said three fingers wide, seven inches? No, no, no. They called me Seth.
We used to call him Seth. we used to call him sad they because he claimed seven inches no it was insane dude it was like a fucking you stole dick valor no no i'm not stealing dick valor whatsoever it's just an insane story because we all slept in a row in our beds like so it was each bed they just like asked me if something like chicked off me i was like yeah she saw my dick like they're like how do you know how big your dick is and i was like i thought it'd be weird to say i measured it so i was like oh well she had her cell phone next to it and then i measured the cell phone and the cell phone's like seven inches it was bigger than that and then they just fucking railed yeah what kind of phone does she have i was fucking crazy an ipad yeah it was uh i was i mean dude it was.
I was literally in eighth grade. They were just hammering me about the size of my penis before I was going to sleep.
Yeah, that sucks dick, dude. It's complete psychological warfare.
Every night. Yeah, this is fucking retard, brothers.
Before you go to bed, just be like, oh, how big's your dick, Bill? We're in his head. Yeah.
And just beating your ass before you go to sleep oh yeah we got fucked up yo i've been i've been in the we're doing the writer's room for tires and i when i'm there i i put gerbys in the blender every day i mean i'm just i gotta chill i'm fuck it well we got him and derosa in the writer's room oh god so derosa is usually getting the brunt of it. But every once in a while I'll get Gerbys.
I got Gerbys so bad this week.

So when I threw that first pitch in the Phillies game, when I got back to our seats, the first thing Gerby's said to me, everyone else was like, great job. That was awesome.
Gerby's was like, well, you got it there. And I was like, you fucking piece of shit, dude.
You could never do that. And he was like, yes, I could.
I i could i could do that i throw all the time how'd you get him in the blender well i've been bringing that up constantly i've been like dude that was actually like fucked up you said that it was a good pitch that was that you can't throw it hard you couldn't do it and he's like i know i couldn't do it i was just joking around i was like you weren't joking you were serious and he's like no i wasn't and then he'll occasionally be like but i could you know so then i've been uh i've been talking to our agent matthew and i've been trying to set up gerbin to throw an opening pitch please and i think i might actually get it and i told him about it and he had a panic attack and he was like i'm fucking sorry i didn't mean it i was like well don't worry now you know and And I keep hitting about it. He had a panic attack.
And he was like, I'm fucking sorry. I didn't mean it.
I was like, well, don't worry. Now you know.
And I keep hitting him with the fucking, we don't want war. We've seen war.
But if you want war with me, I'm going to do it. But BG got in my head and I said, well, BG was being serious.
That wasn't even a fucking sigh. He just hit him with a straight up dude.
You're actually mean. He was like, you're mean now.

What the fuck?

I was like, damn, he's my bad.

Immediately got in his head.

Yeah, of course.

He said I was mean.

It's impossible not to stop fucking with someone, though.

I do it all the time.

I wasn't even fucking with bees.

I know.

That was funny.

If he if if bees held on to that sigh up, it would get me.

Obviously, dude.

Calling someone like, yeah, bro, you're just fucking mean now, dude. Hey, he hit me with a fucking, you've changed while we were out.
That's a nice one. He hit you with your own, dude.
He hit me with an absolute fuck. He was being genuine though.
Oh, man. Well, he was shit-faced and I had to come to terms with that.
He was just mad because I was like, get the fuck up. sat in the seat and yeah whatever bees that's he just couldn't hear me he ate one bite of a chicken wing it was out all night yeah bees are it's like a rat that gets caught eating it's like a chicken wing and a half and that's it he dibbles a corner of a sandwich i had a carolina reaper wing last night dude where you did me up fucked me up yeah We just went out and got barbecue and I was like, yeah, I'll try your hottest one.
Why? That's fun. You're on TRT, bro.
You're definitely on TRT. Matt, you're obviously on TRT.
You're too jacked. You're your hottest one.
I want to feel pain. You're too jacked, honestly.
Don't flex your fucking traps with us like that ever again dude i saw you exactly you're not even flexing you're just on trt hold on hold on let me pull that shoulder pop make a little chasm nice striation in there not even trying dude i do it as a form of worship man that's all it is worship for christ okay getting jacked for christ were you out when you ate the carolina reaper

pepper yeah man i was out and i started like for real i had like sweat coming down my neck i got it kind of like gets you a little bit fucked up yeah i got like a little loopy it's a poison dude speaking of sweat i did that fucking show at helium bro they need to fix that fucking ac I guess I was on last I got on stage, and I was one minute into my set soaked.

I went to move my hair out of my fucking...

I went to move my hair.

It was just I parted my hair with sweat.

Just that slick hair.

You got to check.

What's up, bro?

Drop in the HVAC system on that roof.

The mini splits are not made for that.

Yeah.

They threw in four or five mini splits rather than just switching the goddamn air.

Nothing causes a bomb more than being drenched.

It's the worst.

Yeah, nobody had those fucking Black Lady fans.

They did.

I mean, you could see the crowd doing it with food menus.

Menu?

And I was like, oh, damn, this is never going to gonna work that's where you cut your teeth yeah it is literally them showing you they're not enjoying themselves yeah as they're trying to do stand up yeah i was like i was dripping sweat within a minute sweat more which sucks yeah and i was like is it hot as fucking here and the whole crowd was like yes this sucks i was like all right let's hurry this up then i get worried about the crowd being tired at late shows i'm like they're so tired dude they're not they're not tired it's the only way they're tired is if it's hot yeah true that's true i did a thursday night late show i was like this is kind of greedy towards the end of it i was, I didn't have to do this. Poor guys.
It's hard. Thursday late.
Yeah. Thursday late's a greedy.
That's a sleepy group. Exactly.
Don't worry. Even if you spill that on the couch, you can take off each individual.
It's empty. But I'm just saying, even if you did, you could take off each individual cover and wash it if you wanted to.
What's the couch called? A love sack? Love sack sack. It's awesome.
It's suck cop putting together. It was the same

thing over and over. I had to carry all the fucking

pieces. Each piece comes in a different fucking

box. By yourself? Yes.

There weren't any guys with you?

No.

Why?

Why?