Ep 562 - Goonicide (feat. Billy, Charles Blyzniuk, & Jon Delcollo)

Wow, wow, wow, Wes.

Holy shit, dude.

We're here.

Charles Blizznick, John Docalo.

Hello.

Thank you guys for joining me on this program.

Thank you for having me.

We have a special guest popping in as well.

We do have a special guest coming in, which is exciting.

Sit right there, I think.

Sit right there.

He might pop over you.

Sydney all the way up.

You're going to stand around him.

Or he could stand.

He could stand on the chair.

We could do like a, I don't mean to bring this up again, but we could do like a Usher style thing.

Bowl of cherries?

I wasn't

just thinking serenade, but if you have cherries on hand, sure.

What do you think about Usher's bowl of cherries?

Because you resist it, you think?

Everyone talks big game.

Imagine him holding what look like child's testicles in front of your face.

Imagine you're a 40-year-old black lady.

Could you not lick the simulated child's testicles if it was your biggest crush?

Yeah, there's male testicles.

There's grown-up testicles that look like that too, buddy.

Like steroid heads, dude.

No, there's, dude, cherries.

I'm by no way a sack king, and I'm not, I'm not, the cherries, I can comfortably be like, that's not a flex, to be like cherries.

But it's like nice.

Did you ever see the video of the body butter?

I'm checking my nuts right now.

Yeah, dude.

I can't check too hard.

I think I've mine are like Robin's eggs.

You know, like the candy?

Yeah.

Yeah, mine are like robin's eggs.

Exactly like that.

Nice.

About that.

Yeah.

Shit, I know a robin's eggs.

It's like a

Robin's egg or like a Jordan almond.

Yeah.

For the

for the for the people who are a little bit more refined.

A Brazil nut.

Yeah.

Ooh, you nasty.

You freak.

I'm a bit freaky right now.

I'm not gonna lie.

Freaky.

My freak is all inside me.

Brazil nuts are freaky as hell.

Brazil nuts are.

They're so good.

What?

I like them.

Dude, they're the worst nuts.

I've only had them.

I'm not trying to come at you.

No, no, I get it.

Pause.

I've only had them salted, but

that's when they're tasty.

Yeah, I've had them raw.

Pause.

Yeah, they say if you eat one Brazil nut a day, it's supposed to be like super good for you.

Yeah, I don't think it.

I mean, I don't know.

I eat raw unsalted Brazil nuts, and they are, there's a huge jar on my counter.

I was like, I'll put them here.

I'll eat one every day.

Right.

It's a chore.

They're fucking gross, dude.

Yeah.

I think whatever I'm doing with my life is probably canceling out anytime I eat a Brazil nut.

I think it's safe to say I'll never see a Brazil nut in my entire life.

Really?

I'll never be able to identify a Brazil nut now.

Yeah, they're not.

I mean, look, they're not the best, but look, this is what I want to talk to you guys about.

Me scared away on perversions right at the beginning.

We didn't get that perverted.

I can get right now, I could get deep into my personal kink, but I'm just chilling on that right now.

That's cool.

I want to talk about the fact I'm, I've, well, I'm edged right now, but I'm currently, I'm not gooning.

I'm totally, totally off the street.

You're still off the goon.

How many days?

What's up?

Eight days.

You can probably fucking chew a hole through the wall.

I'm eight days.

And I'm, dude, I'm telling you, I turned it.

You're getting pop, brother.

I turned a corner, man.

I don't know what happened.

I'm completely, and again, I'm sorry to talk about this every single time.

I'm out of your eyes.

It kind of is.

I'm completely.

I'm off the knock.

I turned the corner where it's just like, before, like, I'd want, I'd just like be one to look at it.

And now it's like, I don't even, I don't want to look at this stuff.

Yeah.

I've somehow in my head just been like, that feeling when I get like sexually charged, I, I, before I'd be like, this is bullshit.

Like, I would get mad at my wife.

Yeah.

I would for real be like, this fucking lady.

Now I've I've gotten into it where I like that.

I get into the charge.

And I talk to her all the time.

She charged me up this morning.

I said, bro, just charge me, man.

I was like, we can't do anything right now.

Cause, you know, we had like, we survived a micro burst, by the way.

So, do you know what a micro burst is?

Is that a pre-com?

No, it's gonna, there's gonna be a micro burst later today if all things go well.

But

we should have wearing such light shorts.

We had like a semi-tornadic hailstorm.

Yes.

Okay, wait.

Yeah.

The Uber.

I took an Uber here.

As soon as I got in, the guy was like, the weather's been crazy here.

A couple people died yesterday.

Oh, oh.

But yeah, apparently.

The weather wasn't even crazy yesterday.

Oh, it was hot.

You can get a heat stroke.

He was kind of on one.

He was,

I mean, maybe he was just in like Twilight Zone, but he said that.

You mean like an immigrant?

Is that what you're trying to say?

If that's the case, dude, I'm afraid I have to put you in the red, my friend.

Yeah, put me in the red because I was about to go off.

He was.

dude, a couple people got like drowned in the floods.

Like, homeless guys got washed away in the water.

Really?

What were they?

Sweeping up Obama's backyard.

We're back in the green.

Thanks, man.

You got us back in the green.

What?

Wait, who when it flooded?

It rained yesterday.

Oh, not yesterday, but like

Saturday.

Remember,

the micro bursts.

That was on Monday.

Monday, yeah, on Monday.

Dude, people definitely died.

If you were outside, dude, they're claiming apple-sized hail.

That's yeah, that's and it was 15 straight minutes.

It was crazy.

And the wind was, from what I saw, swirling because people thought it was a tornado.

Damn.

It was 80 miles out of nowhere.

I got an alert on my phone.

I was watching New Hope with my kids.

We're watching Star Wars, the first one.

Yes.

Just chilling.

All of a sudden, it's like, you know, you get the amber alert thing or whatever.

That's not the same.

Yeah, true.

My bad.

You just get like your phone.

There's going to be a real wet pervert coming to you.

About to get diddled by the weather.

We got diddled, by the way.

It fucking broke two of our windows.

Whoa, my, dude, my neighborhood got smashed, dude.

Oh, my God.

Like, if you walked afterwards, did you go outside in it?

Hell no, dude.

Dude, I thought, like, my, I was having my kids away from the window.

My sweet wife just left in an Uber moments before, and they had to pull into like a car wash for shelter.

Holy shit.

In an Uber.

It was, it was, I've never been scared in a storm.

This is the first time I was looking at my roof being like, this thing might come down on us.

Whoa.

Fucking hey.

Is that the craziest storm you've ever seen with it?

Easily, dude, easily.

Wow.

It was just literally raining golf balls for 15 minutes.

Damn.

Just going boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, on the roof.

Took out my kids' window, two of my kids' windows, just side by side.

Whoa, what about Carwin's story?

Wait, so it might have been a

bit storm.

It was a bit of a perverse storm.

Yeah, only my kids' rooms.

And it, dude, and it hit like if you went outside after, I went out afterwards when it settled down.

I went to Home Depot after and just LARPed as a contractor.

Yeah, it's nice.

For like 30 minutes, I had

a piece of wood.

I was genuinely singing.

I was swinging it around.

Literally, that's that's exactly what I did.

But I brought a tape measure with me.

So I had the tape measure and I knew it.

I was like, bro, don't do this.

But I hooked it onto my fucking bell clip.

And I was fully LARPing as a contractor the entire time.

You got a Netflix or a Nextel all of a sudden?

The what?

A Nextel phone all of a sudden.

Dude, I would have, I think I was pretending on my iPhone.

I was like,

there goes Jimmy chirps.

Dude, I was in the aisle of like just the duct tape aisle and I was trying to flex.

Yeah, buying corn nuts.

Because there was all these couples.

There's all these couples just walking around with that, like lost.

It was like, we got, it was like genuinely a fucked up event.

Yeah.

Did you just go to People Watch to see what people were like?

No,

I can't.

I didn't go to just People Watch.

I was fixing my damn house.

What were you going to get boards for the windows?

I need, I was looking for some pre-cut,

not sheetrock, some plywood.

Looking for some pre-cut 32-inch window, standard 32-inch window.

So I went there to go get some plywood, but you, and I, you know, this is kind of embarrassing, but I was hoping their saw would be there so they could cut my shit for me.

Yeah.

So I go there, dude, the Home Depot was flooded itself.

So they couldn't cut for you.

So I'm like looking around.

I ended up buying some pre-cuts.

They weren't big enough, but I put some other stuff on there.

It was

different process.

I had a shopping, not a shopping cart, a big bed, a flat bed loaded with saw horses, a circular saw sheet supply.

My uncle called me, who lives here, and he was like, what are you doing?

I was like, I'm at the Home Depot.

He's like, dude, put all that shit back.

I'm about to drop 10.

He's literally a carpenter.

He's like literally a carpenter.

He's like, dude, I can do that faster than you can go back and forth in my depot.

Please put all that stuff back.

And I was like, God damn it.

It feels good, though, to almost be like ready to buy that stuff.

I might do that.

I'll have to use it.

Dude, having a fucking tape measure on your hip.

Here's how deep the LARP went.

It's like he got me when I was in the self-checkout and I had a fucking cart loaded.

So that's like $400.

That's the last item.

And then you're like, I actually have to return all this.

Well, you know what I said?

So come on in.

Come on in.

Seek your guest.

Seek your guest.

Come on.

You actually, you would love this.

Come in.

See.

Pass him the mic.

Secret.

Oh, my God.

There he is.

Holy shit.

What up, Dow?

Oh, my God.

Hold on a second.

If you guys can't see the listeners at home, the lights are all blinking.

Billy McCusker, you're welcome to the motherboard.

You can sit.

You can sit.

You can stand.

Whatever you want.

Would you like to take the standing?

We're going to sing.

Yeah.

His leg was broken.

Look at it now.

John, if you're fucking...

Get to see you.

If your legs fail, but you can see

this one.

Yeah.

They're feeling pretty good right now, but my ego just took a hit from you.

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So, Bill, Bill, Bill, thanks for coming, by the way.

I really appreciate you.

You guys have the cherries ready?

Jerry Usher's bowl of cherries?

No.

All right.

Anyway,

I don't even know what you're talking about.

So, you know, we got hit by a microburst, right?

I told you that.

Solar flare?

No, no, no.

Microburst in terms of the hail.

We had apple-sized hail, and I was

talking about.

Hello.

At least learn about the culture for your your company.

So we got smashed.

I told them I went immediately afterwards.

Once the weather settled, I went to Home Depot to get supplies to board the windows up, fully LARPed as a contractor.

I had a tape measure on my waist.

And then, like, I had all this shit.

I had the plywood.

I had a circular saw.

I had some blades.

How many what teeth blades do you prefer on the cirqu saw?

I mean, yeah, I think I had like 30, 30, 52 teeth.

I forget.

I didn't want to Home Depot with the tape measure as either an immigrant or a fakey.

just because they can't read.

Yeah, a real contractor just eyes it up.

I think they're going to have

funny because they did have

they had like four by two or two by, and I'd have to be like, was that an inches?

So then I loaded up this flatbed because I had to board up my windows, dude.

Why did you have to do it?

Because I'm the man of the house.

That's like a no-brainer.

The whole, what are you talking about?

Just pay someone to do that.

Yeah, but dude, it was like, you don't understand, man.

Like the whole neighborhood, we had probably 25 windows out on our block.

So, like, everyone was slammed.

Yeah, all the handyman.

I could have gotten the caravan

easily.

Also, too, I was kind of stoked.

I was like, now I always wanted like saw horses and like circular.

So, I'm like, bought it all.

I had my cart in the self-checkout.

Uncle Joe called me and was like, bro, put it all back.

Because he had talked to Brittany and Brittany's like, please help.

Please stop him.

I would have cut my finger.

I have like a little pitched thing behind my yard.

I would have been on like a hung levels.

I would have cut my arm off.

So I had, dude, I was deep in the LARP and I had my fucking tape measure on my hip.

I'm in self-checkout.

And I get the, it's just my uncle called me, put it back, you fucking loser.

And I was like, I put it down.

I had all this shit on my cart.

And I went to the lady and I was like, John, I'm just joking.

Did you put it back or did you leave it?

I pushed it into the dial and his bed.

You steal from self-checkout.

He's not returning cards.

I don't steal from self-checkout anymore, but I'm just following the noble eightfold way.

But the

dude, I found out you can't steal even if you're a Buddhist.

I'm like, damn, that's fucking bullshit.

Nobody wants you stealing.

I don't think any religions like you steal.

No, they don't.

I've checked it out.

I've tried to find the one that does.

If you find it, let me know.

Until then, I'm atheist again.

I guess this would be, this is rude to suggest, but isn't the Church of Satan, maybe they would do it without Wilt.

Yeah, don't, aren't they like?

No, they're like, they're nice.

Yeah, but no, you could steal, steal, but then they could destroy you.

Oh, I see.

So that's natural law, brother.

Yeah.

So you don't want that hanging over your head.

I don't want to get destroyed.

Yeah.

But I did beach the fucking thing.

That was easy.

I beached the car.

I was like, I'm not dealing with this.

How'd it feel?

Because that does feel.

Were you charged, if you don't mind my asking?

Were you charged when you were leaving?

For what?

Like when you were at, when this was going on?

Like, how you're charged up right now?

Yeah, you charge up.

Why were you driving?

I love it.

I love it.

He was putting energy on the grid after that.

I'm just thinking.

How many days have I retained my seed?

No, I'm just thinking

leaving Home Depot to come back must feel good, still in the mind.

Well, here's the thing: I still got the necessary supplies.

I got a pre-cut piece of plywood.

I got some gorilla.

I'd been completely just crushed by my uncle, sunned by my uncle.

Just him and my wife teamed up on me.

Like, put it back, you fucking freaks.

And then

I went to the duct tape aisle, and there was a couple.

You got to punch a window out in your house

to

get some of the masculine.

I literally got handicucked by my uncle

just just devastated but then i had a still she's like just get some duct tape and we'll we're like i'm like all right go call yeah good call boss and then i um i was in the duct tape aisle and i saw a couple and i i still kind of duct tape cooked nice dude because they were looking at they're looking at painter's tape and i was like brother you're gonna want some gorilla tape on that i still had it i was like at least i gotta still harp a little bit yeah

be like yeah i can tell you're about two inches in pants

have you seen twin peaks yeah have you watched Twin Peaks?

I have not.

Fuck, dude.

Right now, from this angle, you remind me of the giant from Twin Peaks.

Look at the giant from Twin Peaks.

It's just like Bliss.

Holy shit, this is crazy.

I do get that reference from this angle.

It looks just like the giant's a beast.

Just crazy.

Also, watch her.

No offense, Gardevoir.

You look identical to Joaquin in that.

What's he look like?

Her.

You ever see Joaquin?

Oh, and her.

I said it was crease, so it was fucking me up.

Does that when he has sex with like a face?

He falls in love with the OS.

What's the OS operating system.

Oh, really?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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It's nuts.

What is

Blizz?

That's a giant from fucking Twin Peace.

It looks identical.

But yeah, I got completely crushed, man, in that storm.

We got, dude, we got fucked up.

I mean, I was waiting.

I don't want to be the first person to say it, but we're

Austin Strong.

Yeah.

Hashtags.

Hashtag.

So, wait, did you convince that guy who was clearly about to paint his house to get gorilla tape and stuff?

Oh, he got it.

His wife kind of gave him a fucking thing.

on the holes to cut in.

Well, they were like, thanks.

They're like, oh, thanks.

And I was like, yeah, man, this shit.

And his wife kind of gave me a look, like, okay, man, that's enough of your ducking rant.

Like, please get the fuck out of my face.

Next time you need to go in there with the tape measure on and the wireless head set, but it's clearly not plugged into anything.

It's just dragging on the floor behind you.

I think you're going to want a different kind of tape, actually.

You guys still sell hot dogs?

Got to try the sausages outside of the fucking thing.

Brocco's is atrocious.

I will never eat that.

Places suck.

Have you never had it?

Brocco's?

I've never had it.

It's not bad.

That's what everyone says.

It is not bad.

It's a fine sausage and pepper sandwich.

You can't fuck it up.

Yeah, it's a hot dog.

Yeah.

It's a hot dog for adults.

And they make a half hot, half sweet too, dude.

So if you can't decide, that's the both.

That's kind of weird to think that much about a sausage sauce.

You don't spend a lot of time thinking about sausage, bro?

No, be like, I want it hot, but sweet, too.

No, I'm kidding.

I'm joshing.

My lady's driving, and I'm in the fucking pasm seat.

I guess

you're eating them both like this.

You ever been to show and tell?

Uh-huh.

You ever see a live girl sex show?

Unfortunately, yeah.

Yeah, they have that.

It's like a double dildo.

I've seen the doughdown.

Yeah, yeah.

That's why Rocco's made the double-sided beats.

Rocco should sponsor this.

Matt brought me there for my birthday.

My 21st birthday was me, Matt, and my cousin.

We went to the show and tell.

Oh, that was my 18th birthday as well.

I groomed Billy and my younger cousin.

She put me up on stage and got whipped and like an Asian woman put like whipped cream up my nose.

And I thought it was funny, like snorted it.

But then I woke up and like my nose just smelled like curdled milk.

Was it the older nose lady?

No, not the tranny.

Don't try that.

No, dude, never mind.

Sorry.

Never mind, Ally.

She was not, by the way.

She was not, by the way.

She, I know, but allegedly that lady, my boy Cookie.

Yeah, that was bullshit.

That wasn't true.

My boy Cookie got a laugh

that was like true.

Dude, he said, she told me I had the biggest dick she's ever seen.

And we were like 18.

I was like, yeah, dude, they're strippers.

He wasn't hip to the skip.

She was telling him.

She was telling us this is the biggest dick I've ever seen.

Dude, really?

And he believed it?

100%.

He seen a child Italian.

Have you seen his piece?

What?

Have you seen his piece and you know it's not true?

You know the woman's lying on his piece.

No, yeah.

Okay.

He's not some freak show.

If you have the biggest dick in Chellentel, it might be 14 inches.

Yeah, true.

There's some freaks.

There's probably strippers and bigger dicks in Charantel.

Choentel Dell is fucking crazy.

I would say, if people go to Philadelphia, it's like definitely.

I don't even know if it's open anymore.

Oh, maybe it got closed down.

It is.

Can't confirm.

I went and they took me to an 18-year-old party.

18-year-old birthday party for me because you only have to be 18 because it's BYO.

Father side, 21.

Yeah.

And I was just like, don't.

Just don't put me on the fucking stage.

And then they say, John Doe Collar to the stage.

And it's the woman with the biggest hits I've ever seen that have ever existed.

And she's doing the whipped cream.

I eat the whipped cream

off her butt and her fart.

And then I, and then I'm like this with my belt holding my hands back.

And I'm like, why do they call you bubbles?

She made it, because I like to blow.

And I was like, oh, God.

They beat the shit out of you, too.

Yeah, they really did leave some welts on me.

They really hurt you.

They really liked it.

Have you been to show and tell?

I've actually never been to a show.

Dude, they do.

Imagine, okay, so imagine, you know, like, do you ever see like ladies in like Kensington dipped out in the bus stop?

Imagine them naked.

Not that bad.

Sucking buildings off that face.

No, dude, when I went there, it was these women were like pure skeletal.

They're Austinian, dude.

Huh?

Elite.

It's not that bad.

No, dude, when I was there, they were for real skeletor.

They waved it.

They were, I don't want to be crass on this, but they were

like inserting vaginal insertion.

Yeah.

And they waved it out in the crowd.

They were so bad, dudes went, like, yeah.

For real, matrix dodgy.

Well, whoever's going to do the live sex show probably is pretty rough, but not every one of them was.

Not everyone, but the live sex showers.

I'm a foreign sex workers, though.

I'm an ally.

true.

Obviously.

Yeah.

I mean, that's your business.

I don't.

I think it comes from the deepest bits of hell.

You remember

one time you and I drove by the Penn Sports Boat in Philly?

They showed their butthole in there.

They do.

I was whispering.

It's a lane, by the way.

Yeah, no, that's what you told me.

I had heard.

There's a selling point.

Look, again,

I was curious.

Obviously, it was on my mind.

We passed.

My boy said someone, a stripper, showed them her butthole.

And yeah, look.

That's cool.

They showed a bee hole in the pan.

I think that's like a putty on the tits place, too.

I don't want to mess their license up, but I think a stripper accidentally revealed her butthole.

Yeah, it was an accident.

There's a loophole, or not a loophole, there's a thing with like serving food.

Yeah.

If you serve food, you can't show your titties.

I don't think you can be full nude.

No, I think it's if they serve alcohol.

If it's BYO,

they can get completely naked.

If they serve alcohol, they can't take their bottoms off.

And I think they have to have the pasties on them.

A lot of pleasure dome.

E

as well.

wait,

what's up?

Delilah serves beer so they don't get fully naked.

Yeah, but what's like the worry about like genitals and food?

It should be like hair nets in the latex clubs.

We'd have to ask our forefathers about that.

True, that's an antiquated law.

You should make them dress like lunch ladies if that's it.

Yeah, it's true.

It's it's like it's that, and then like a liquor store is closed on Sunday.

It's like those are the two Quaker laws that still exist.

You got to put those ladies' pussies away if you're serving corned beef.

Yeah, they should.

That would be a cool strip club that was just like a high school cafeteria.

Yeah.

And it was just like stripper lunch ladies serving you food.

That'd be nice.

And they like grab their titties and you get like mashed potatoes.

Real situations.

That would actually be a real thing.

Real sit.

Yeah, like you just have a whole warehouse of real situations you can walk around.

What?

An alleyway or like a grocery store?

Yeah, just ladies and shit on the streets.

Just ladies shitting on Bill Carter.

Exactly.

And everyone has to wear like the electrician little like boots over their feet.

That's good.

Oh, the little like hope booties?

Yeah, because they serve food.

True.

That's a grocery store.

Dan, a grocery store.

A funny grocery store would be nice.

That's a very tantalizing possibility.

There's a coffee shop that.

If you want to stand, I don't know.

Oh, wait, this is a good place.

It's called Barista.

Where is it?

In Florida?

Yeah.

It had my gas

fucked up, bro.

You don't know what that's called.

It's Gunicai.

It's not

Gunicai.

The guy who went through the barista's time throw with the pantry.

Did you hear about that?

He got busted on the first recorded case of Gunicai.

No, that's for real.

He went through with his pants on.

The chick was like, what are you doing?

He's like, I'm sorry.

And then drove off and killed himself.

She was filming it.

Yeah,

he pulled up in the Hellcat, too.

Yeah.

Also, it's supposed to be

a coffee shop that has scantily clad women.

But you can see in the reflection of the guy's car, the woman is fully clothed.

He's trying to beat his dick to a lady in a full-on jeans and a t-shirt.

And then she catches him on video and he drives to another parking lot and blows his head off.

And then they all.

I don't say that laughing, but they like all these people went and started screaming, I can't goon.

And taking they protested outside of it.

I swear to God.

I swear to God.

This is a while ago.

Wait.

So he.

LeMaire might have been in charge of Facebook group.

He was a brother.

Damn.

So he pulled up on the stripper coffee shop.

Yeah, I just trying to get a quick beat in while he gets a hot coffee.

They're asking for it, dude.

Not the athletical.

You can't be naked.

You can't go morning boners getting coffee.

It's like kind of.

Yeah, if I don't have to get out of my car, then I don't have to stop masturbating.

That's the rule out of coffee shop.

Yeah, that's like kind of on you.

I thought you were on a headset behind a screen, like Wizard of Vos style.

Yeah.

I don't know the more you pick them, they'll take clothes off.

What?

Allegedly, supposedly.

What's the place called again?

Baristas, but it's no longer there down in Florida.

What happened?

They put up a statue of a guy in a Dodge.

They put a statue of the goon.

They tore it down, put a water fountain in the ground as a memorial.

No, I have no idea.

They probably just closed.

It's probably

tough to run one of those.

What?

A stripper coffee place?

Like, baristas are already brutal, and strippers are already brutal.

You put it together, and it's probably like at least in that case, it would make sense if they're like, not even going to tip.

It's like, dude, bust out your fucking tits.

Like, I agree.

I 100% agree.

Yeah, or

the guy.

You don't even have perky areola.

Like, what's going on with you?

What is wrong with you today?

You wore a broader work.

What is wrong with you?

I'm all about the Starbucks uniform.

They're on strike right now because there's people who are.

They want to let their freak flag fly.

They can't wear Crocs.

And they're like, we deserve the Karl Marx standards.

Take your fucking Crocs off.

You're 40 years old.

You have a college degree.

Where are some fucking slacks, man?

You're working for a giant corporation.

It's a service job.

Philly Holtz who is unionizing or trying to.

Who is?

The Philly Holts Whole Foods.

They're trying to unionize?

The Parkway?

They've been trying to do that forever.

Yeah, I stand.

You know that there's a coffee shop in Philly in Fairmount.

They tried to unionize, and the dude shut the entire

closed all of them down.

OCF.

Oh,

yeah.

Well, they're like also a scumbag realtor company, aren't they?

Both worlds.

Yeah.

He's a developer.

Look, hey, man.

Allegedly, I've heard he's a bit of a motherfucker.

That's pretty.

I mean, that's a motherfucker.

It is kind of evil.

It's on brand.

It's on brand for an evil developer.

Just unionize?

Yeah, that's fine.

I'll take away everyone's job.

No one gets coffee now.

Yeah, it's incredible anyway.

I'll just say true.

I was at a birthday party for a kid, and there was a dude with a neck brace at the birthday party, and my uncle called it a Jewish turtleneck.

It's still the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Jewish turtleneck.

I've been telling that everyone I know.

Jewish turtleneck is the funniest shit I've ever heard in my life.

Just also everything around this thing, you just say the guys' names.

That's like the, you have to.

What kids' party were you at?

Our one cousin's daughter.

Oh, right, right.

Yeah, it was her second birthday.

Who's wearing the JT?

She was like his father-in-law or something.

The Jewish turtleneck.

I've been laughing about it ever since.

I mean, that's pretty fucking great.

Dang, that's embarrassing going out with one of those.

I know.

Yeah.

pretty like stay the fuck home yeah

if you can't look behind you able to couch huh i had a i had to be in austin for a week with a knee scooter dude i hate i hate talk like that you can still look around i couldn't i could not turn you couldn't turn your neck like that no i couldn't turn my body

yeah but you can still look me if you do that's okay fair enough but like

i'd rather have my legs there's like something too debilitating about the neck brace exactly it's like frankenstein yeah it just makes you so uh

like cumbersome cumbersome.

Also, I don't know a single person who's ever actually needed one of those things.

They're for like when you're laying in traction in a hospital bed.

You're not supposed to like

put that on.

Could be for like spine surgery.

True.

Could be.

But if that case, stay the fucking.

Yeah, if you're coming off of spine surgery, do you need to go to this two-year-old's birthday party?

Yeah.

Smell a fever, you know?

Yeah.

You want to get outside and chill with people.

True.

Looks like a child.

True.

I want to see what the cheer running up to.

That's all I got.

Damn, that's pretty good.

Yeah, that was so

the podcast.

I fucking crashed it down.

It was so fucking good.

Yeah, I'll try to remember if I was.

How many, not to get personal, how many days do you have in you in terms of like, you're not, we're, we've made a pact as brothers.

Me watching porn or jerking out?

Like, not watching porn?

Coming.

Everyone's journey is different, but

I'm no PMO.

Porn masturbation, orgasm.

I have broken this.

Since February.

Since February?

Yeah.

All right.

I can't wait to get some time.

I'm sorry.

You're saying you haven't orgasmed?

No, no, no.

I just jerked it.

My sheath takes care of that, dude.

I fucking.

I'm good.

Are you saying the same thing?

It's been eight days since you've

exploded.

I've been trying to do this for like two years.

This is like a testosterone spike, allegedly.

Eight.

I'm on eight right now.

It's pretty clear.

Yeah, dude, now it's.

I was punching the brick wall before you got here.

I'm just like, it's only my wife can release me.

I cannot bear to masturbate myself.

I like the game of saving it for mommy for sure.

You get to tell her, too.

But every once in a while, she's on a work call, and this has to happen now.

That's when you have to sublimate the energy and learn.

Once you flip that switch where you go, like, this energy is good.

Before I'd go, this is bad.

I shouldn't feel like this.

Now I'm going, like, this is how I am supposed to feel.

Clean something, like, clean out your car.

Yep.

That'll really, like, just take the edge off a little bit.

Okay.

All right.

Dude, I'm telling.

And then

I just tell her.

I wake up in the morning and I say, babe, I don't know if today's the day.

It's okay if it's not, but just feel it.

See where I'm at.

She goes, my God.

I go, yeah.

And I just, oh my God, well, let's see.

It's beautiful.

On a serious note, it's like, I think the best thing you can possibly do in a long-term relationship because if you have the goon escape latch, it fucks your whole, you can't exist like that.

It is.

It can be rough.

There can be

months of like, oh, wow, I just, I guess I just have been beating off and forgetting that I live with a lady

for a few weeks here.

Well, if you come to head, if you come to like conflict, if you have the escape latch, it allows you to just be like, whatever.

And you never, you just, you slowly drift apart.

Yes.

But like now, if we're at any, at odds on any, like, by any means, I have to hash it out because it's like, that's, that's the teat, bro.

I'm like a baby on the teat.

That's my only, that's my lifeline.

So I, and it makes you like, dude, after like seven days, your babe just becomes like a goddess.

You're just like, oh my god.

I mean, after three days, if you like, brush against her in the kitchen, you're like, put the baby to bed.

We have to get the fucking out of the way.

Three days, they're the enemy.

You got to get through that.

Three days, you're like, why the fuck did you do this to me?

Do you not care about me at all?

You're doing this juice.

I'm telling you, I've matured.

I flipped the switch.

Now I just go, babe, dude.

I had her literally the morning I said, just charge me up.

Charge me up.

I'm your toy soldier.

Spin my top dude.

Send me right out in the world.

Wow.

You got to hit the home depot parking lot like, I'm a contract.

Dude.

You were like living out like a romance novel.

It's kind of sick.

Yeah.

Honestly, I feel like if I watched one of my wife's like, fuck.

I have a half sweet, half-hot sausage.

Dude, I feel like at this point, I could watch the notebook with my wife and be like, fuck, babe, this is so fucking good right now.

I would do that.

I would build you that house, even though you're having sex with that other guy for 10 years.

Yeah, dude, it's been, I can't, I, I mean, I can't recommend it enough.

Off the goonage, just totally off the goonage.

They say if things are free, you're the product.

Don't look at me like that again, man.

simply too good.

You know, you look at chicks having sex, hot ones, and nothing happens, something happens, bro.

Yep.

You have to deal with that.

Usually, just them dying, you know.

What?

Those ladies die all the time.

Those porn star ladies?

Yeah, they're like young rappers now.

I've never even heard of Busky Bunny, but boy, were her tits nice.

Rest in peace, baby.

They also died in a mall parking lot.

Sorry, that's better.

Shop by rival porn stars.

That'd be actually, if you could stand it, you'd become like the no jumper of just insane young porn stars.

I would never put myself in that position.

Or maybe jail, huh?

Is he in jail?

Who?

Adam 22.

Oh, he's not in jail.

No.

He's rebuilding his business, right?

I think so.

I think he made some systemic change with his life.

I think he made some systemic.

I think they reversed the DEI stuff, and he was like, all right.

He's all right.

That's another thing.

I got a tax credit for letting that dude hit.

Bring in a few more guys with crew cuts.

No,

he looks like mine.

I watched an interview with him recently.

I just saw pieces of it, but there was a, you know, Gin Lee, the rapper from the Dallas-based rapper.

You just tell me about him.

Why?

White guy.

Is that the one Druski just made fun of?

No, Drewski came at my bro

Belligan Kush.

Belly Gang Kush is fine.

Belligand Kush.

Well, he goes by Belly Gang.

Of course.

Oh, really?

Cushing Tin was his name, but I saw him correct someone.

He just called him Kush.

Okay.

Thanks for correct.

Yeah, put some respect on him.

Yeah, my bad.

Belligan Kush is half black.

He was just raised by a black family.

Okay.

Jin Lee is a white boy.

Certified white boy.

But both have raised a stir by their use of the N-word in their raps.

Yeah.

It's a debate.

It's a controversy.

Yeah, you guys are losing your choke code on that.

It's slipping.

Dude,

white rappers have powered up.

They found Runstone and they've powered up with it.

It's crazy.

Just know you let this happen.

You stood by idly.

Hold on.

When Eminem says it, it is over.

He He never won.

We won.

We finally won, Rap.

He's a purist.

Yeah, he won't.

It's too late for him to do it.

It's got to kill him being like, fuck.

He's going to be on his last album.

You think so?

He's going to be 80 years old on his deathbed.

It's time to say it.

I don't think so.

Can't you vote for like Hillary Clinton or something?

Yeah.

Machine Gun Kelly, maybe.

I mean, he's like, Machine Gun Kelly's like pop now, but he's probably a little ticked off.

If you want to put him in a box,

I hate Machine Gun Kelly with a passion.

Fucking ate him.

I think the new one was a bop, honestly.

I think, look, I don't, yeah, I hear you.

It's not for me.

I do think he's the perfect celebrity.

He wears Frankenstein boots and just kind of like does weird stuff.

He's like, he's like, he's at least filling the celebrity archetype perfectly.

Yeah.

Just like a disastrous private life, dresses like a complete freak.

Hot guy, makes bops.

Love him.

It's like you add him to the playlist.

You throw it on the playlist?

I've only heard the Twitter clip where he's like doing like beating

stuff.

It's all right.

It's all right.

It's got that emo vibe from the mid-2000s.

Yeah, I didn't lose an emo back in the day.

I was rap metal.

Yeah.

Rap metal?

Rap metal.

Yeah.

311.

Executioners.

What do you think I was talking about?

I didn't know what you were talking about, honestly.

You don't know what rap metal is for

me.

Lip biscuit, I was like, break stuff, obviously.

I would get charged up as hell.

What about Lincoln Park?

For sure.

Some L.

When I was in my feelings, I'd put on the LP.

Chester speaks to you.

Chester does speak to me, dude.

R.I.P.

Him and Chris Cornell.

What happened to Chris?

He died, too.

He died, yeah.

How'd he die?

It was a murder-suicide with Chester.

Yes, that's what they say.

They say that they were doing a documentary on pedophilia and they iced him.

What?

Chester and

you ever look up the pictures of John Podesta and Chester Bennington?

No.

Not to get off track, but it's fucking crazy.

Is Ann Hash also involved in that?

Who's Ann Hash all?

Ann Hesch, the lady that

crazy.

fucking popped up like The Undertaker.

Wasn't there also a rumor that she was involved in?

That came and went.

What the fuck?

I was thinking about something else that had something though the other day.

I can't remember.

You know, who's you were telling me about Greg Glenn Greenwald's sitch.

Yeah.

I'm all about when dudes get out it for like crazy sexual stuff.

Whenever they're like, yeah, that's what I do.

I'm like, fuck yeah.

I lift them up.

I kind of like that.

If I'm being honest, even Zestiny, when Zestany was like,

even Zestany, you have to root for a guy who is literally a pedophile.

He's like getting destiny.

Destiny.

The online like Adderall Out Twitch streamer.

Okay.

He was like sexting young girls.

What?

Yeah.

If you have that on, you have that on Facebook.

Otherwise, you got to say allegedly.

Allegedly.

How do you know this?

I'm on the net, bro.

I've seen this shit.

Fair enough.

Yeah, Zestany is, I mean, he is a sexual deviant, much like Glenn Greenwald.

The only thing I like.

That was a totally, it was at two adults.

If he wants to lick up Lugies from his daddy, right.

What's your brother?

Oh, I didn't know what he did.

Dude, the picture is so funny.

He's having like spun fun with his boyfriend.

What's that?

Like, getting cloudy and rowdy, meth?

He looks like he's methed out.

You can't just keep saying all this stuff.

Dude, I have to run this through the light.

He looks like it.

I'm not saying he does look like it.

I'm just saying he's like.

You said he was having sponge fun.

You'll have to say this if you're not standing in a podium.

If you're standing at the podium, you can say anything you want without saying anything.

No, he's wearing emotional territory around.

His eyes are dilated.

He looks spun out for sure.

Yes.

But have you ever been under total control by a daddy?

No.

He could just be charged up.

Not yet.

Daddy.

Wait, what's the guy from Euphoria?

Dominic's

domination daddy.

He was being domed, dude.

He was in the throes of being domed.

Yeah.

In her Joaquin's Phoenix sexting username is Big Guy4x4.

It's fucking great.

He's cross-playing 4x4.

He was having phone sex with the girl at the beginning.

He's like, what's your screen name?

He's like, big guy4x4.

Hold on.

So the Glenn Greenwald situation, that was, it was a video guy.

They say he released it on some real Dom shit.

Oh, his Dom released it.

Allegedly.

I think,

yeah.

He might have gotten Domed by the Israeli government.

That's what they say.

Yeah.

But I don't know.

I mean, I just couldn't imagine what the post-nut clarity to getting Domed and putting the video up on Twitter and then finally jerk it after like a two-day edge and just be like,

That's why I'm off the porn, dude.

That's a pornhole.

Yeah.

The pornhole is lit.

It's beyond.

I mean, dude, to put the video up after.

I was talking to my brother Tom about this, who's also porn sober, and he was like reading about like how far dudes take their pornholes.

Dude, like you think, you know, he was like talking about how he's like, yeah, you think you're bad and you research what some other people are.

Oh, dude,

it's crazy, dude.

There was, what the fuck did he, he was like, he said this guy came out of a pornhole by his wife finding like he had like ordered butt plugs for himself.

And his wife was just like, what are these?

And he was like, bro, I was goon.

I was completely begun.

I was goon.

They're boy pacifiers.

Put one in your mouth.

They calmed me down.

I was like telling my wife again, I'll be talking about everything now, but I was like telling her and I was like, best friends.

I was just like, dude,

I was like, bro, I'm off the nog, just trying to like, she'd be impressed.

And she was like, why do you even have to look at it anyway?

It's like, what are you talking about?

She's like, why don't you just masturbate?

And I was like, What are you talking about?

Why do I have to explain this?

Speak on the, it's a lifestyle.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, it's also like,

let me think about it.

Because it's a bunch of naked ladies doing stuff I'll never, ever see in real life.

Yeah.

But she's right.

Why the fuck would I need that?

Have you ever tried to find your dick twin?

My dick twin?

Yeah.

And porn?

Yeah.

If I see anyone even, like, if someone's,

if someone's not.

It's like an Apple H and OnlyFans.

Wait, are you out there actively searching for your dick twin?

I'm just curious.

This is a microphone.

You know, try to find you.

I'm a total side screen, dude.

If someone's even close to me, I'm going, brother, what are you doing?

Get it it fucking.

Become a fucking electrician, dude.

I'm speaking to the site.

Past the mods.

Yeah, yo, bro.

I hate to break it to you.

I think you don't have what it takes, kid.

I think you need to

get a new job, brother.

Are you going to be using a toy at any point?

I don't think this is going to get done.

Could be a Mugsy Bogs out there just waiting to come through.

Come to porn goat.

True.

That could be.

I mean, yeah, you'd have to make it up in passion, though.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, it's true.

Be a chow monster.

But I have a feeling.

Wait, wait, what?

No, no, I might be.

You say.

Oh, yeah.

Maybe become like a star for like the ladies.

If you did, you could do.

You could do like, yeah, you could do like passionate, like women's porn time.

At that point, just become like a fucking actor.

Yes.

Yeah, just go to Hollywood.

Get an SNL, dude.

Yeah.

Get on SNL.

Be like a soapy vampire, right?

A hit song.

That'd be cool.

Yeah, hit song.

Speaking of which,

I have like a feeling that might be my dick twin.

The guy, the red-haired guy, is like, meh.

Who?

Anthony?

What is it?

Oliver Anthony.

Oliver Anthony.

Oh.

I feel like we probably are dick twins.

If I had to guess,

I don't want to, you know, not bad.

We're average.

I need to see that guy's piece then.

There's no way that guy's a huge piece.

You can't rally against a fucking...

Right.

You can't rally against a bourgeois.

Yeah, not everything's.

He was wearing pretty tight jeans in that performance, that famous performance.

I think somebody would have zoomed in on his piece if it was something to write home about write a song about you know he's on a worker man's piece he's a worker man through and through yeah so i think if you had to get if i someone had to that's probably my dick twin so unless he recently releases a sex tape

that's not bad he's you know i think it's probably like 61 it's probably 61.

you can probably get his personal information and then you guys can probably exchange uh pictures of your hard penises

with a uh a certain uh can or bottle next to it to make sure you're both sized up equally

and we don't even have to do this in public you know you can just be proud well the gauntlet snowing down if you want to publish it.

He's got a pretty busy schedule.

I might DM him.

Like, bro, what are you working with?

I'm just curious.

Love your stuff.

Love your new song.

Love your message.

Like, what are you working with, bro?

I think we might be dick twins.

Gonna be in Austin anytime soon.

I'm out of journal right now, and there's nobody next to me.

That'd be nice to just develop over years, just develop a relationship with this guy.

And then eventually, like a cult sort of thing, you know, and then just eventually be like, Can I show you my penis?

Just for research purposes.

I might start doing this to everyone who features.

He's getting hammered at me like, bro, let me see what you got.

Some daddy.

If it's bigger, you can't.

I can't tell.

You can't open it up.

We got a sandwich.

If it's bigger, you can't open for me.

That is ditty shit.

That is ditty shit.

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Well, you think Diddy was doing that?

I heard he was on cleanup.

I heard he was on some Glenn Greenwald.

I just want to see.

I just want to know.

I can't say Glenn Greenwald's name without fucking getting all he owned.

He owned it.

Diddy allegedly was cleaning up.

Swaps.

Oh, I swapped in the decks.

Yeah, yeah, okay.

Like slurping out the old juices.

Off the check, out of the holes, the crevices, whatever.

That guy really

likes it both ways, it seems.

Yeah, what do you mean?

Bad stuff.

He likes all the stuff.

Yeah, he's just like, he likes lady juices and guy juices, it seems like.

Yeah, he's according

to the court documents, yeah, you could draw the conclusion that he was just, he had transcended like sexuality.

Sexuality, yeah.

Same.

Well, that is the thing.

Once you fuck every hot lady, the next thing is boys.

It's like David Bowie.

Guys.

David Bowie, yeah.

They say Dave Bowie did that.

Fuck everybody.

So many checks.

I was like, oh, fuck dudes.

I don't care.

But he had a swag about him.

Diddy likes angry.

You can't be angry and do that.

If you haven't fucked 1,000 ladies, four-digit ladies, and you fuck guys, you're gay.

You fucked 1,000 ladies and now you start fucking guys, you're just the fucking man.

Yeah, you're just, you've transcended.

Modern day America Vespucci.

I'm more of a DeSoto gay myself.

The

uh

because they did it in like hotels, right?

Like the freak offs?

Man Shones.

Oh, they did it.

Okay, so they like, it was just in homes.

Was it his own personal?

That's what I was trying to figure out.

Okay, so they were a couple venues.

They did like ghost hunt with like a

one of those machines.

Black light.

Yeah, right.

Everything is the color of cum.

Well, there's, there's the freak off, then there's wild king nights.

Wild king nights are a little more low-key.

Wild King Nights were like, if we all got a hotel room and just kept it low-key, it's got a freak off.

I've been getting hit with that on Instagram.

And no shit.

Just like swinger chicks.

Vlogging.

You're on the swinger algorithm?

I'm on.

My algorithm is destroyed.

I've seen the one swinger lady.

She like travels.

Yes.

Okay.

She like travels and like.

I said bullshit.

Me and Bliss say in gay algorithm.

Yeah, I'm in that.

The gay algorithm.

Very gay algorithm.

Wait, the swinger chick is single?

Don't you have to be a couple to be a swinger?

I don't know.

You probably just can't bring dudes.

You know what I mean?

Okay.

No, it's not subgirl.

It's like a different lady

who.

The content.

Yeah.

Shout out to the girl.

I didn't know she was still rocking.

That's what's up.

Wait, hold on.

Actually, now that we...

Who is Subgirl?

Yeah, who's Subgirl?

Lemaire May.

Can you...

Maybe can you approach the bench?

She's just the lady who's willing to take on all challenges.

Like,

no,

no size, no credence is too.

She'll take all challengers.

Any guy?

Oh,

she's including the old guys.

That's nice.

They're all including the old guys nowadays.

That's very nice.

Really?

That's the one thing, man.

I don't like seeing it, but I'm very happy for the guys.

True.

Yeah.

She's like, I guess she kind of forgot about her.

She's like the originator of all this stuff a little bit.

Subgirl?

She got her clout?

her i think yeah stand up here you want to go take take a photo dude i'm sorry

it's a two-man vote two man voting

take it yeah take it boy but yeah she kind of uh shades

oh

yeah she kind of like led the charge and then now it's um there's two ladies who uh are like losing their assholes wait here's anal proloff well there's three like there's three really running gunners you got bonnie you got lily phillips and you got Wisconsin Tiff, who's in the mix now.

Wisconsin Tiff.

What?

Is this like the slut presidential primary?

Yeah, she apparently,

from what I've heard from a friend who's into this kind of thing,

she's banned from a bunch of old homes because she was going in and fucking all the geezers.

And now they're like,

that's like the joker.

If you're going to be a giant, disgusting whore,

might as well.

Yeah.

I shouldn't speak badly about her, but you are.

Actually, that's being a giant disgusting whore.

I think she's like.

I I think that's spot on.

Yeah, I think she's like, she's like, I am a giant, disgusting whore.

Yeah, they're all pretty.

B-Rabbits approach.

Yeah.

She's like, no, yeah, you're right.

I'm like, if you call it that.

I know you are, but what am I kind of?

I mean, going through the nursing home is like, that's kind of nice in a weird way.

I feel like that's.

It's philanthropy.

It's like a reward for being locked up during COVID.

I mean, imagine you're just sitting there and you're in a ventilator.

You're just like, where's my family?

I haven't seen them all.

And it's just a lady comes in and blows you.

It's like, why are they?

Who's kicking her out?

I would think I'd die.

Also, the orderlies that she wasn't fucking.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wore some big

refused to eat his pussy.

What the hell are you doing, girl?

Get it out of your mouth now.

Oh, that'd be fucking sick.

Yeah, they think I'm going to eat your pussy.

You must be mad.

I love that.

I love that, man.

Romanting.

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I don't know you were fucking with a rock that hard.

Here are the project rocks.

Yeah, these are my underarmors, bro.

Damn, nigga.

Yeah, this is project rocks.

I wouldn't wear it.

Dude, I wouldn't wear pants either if I was you.

What are you talking about?

Oh, no, you're saying my project rocks.

I'm wearing my bathing suit right now.

I'm going swimming after this.

It's like a nice, like, pause.

This is like a nice set you got on.

Like a gray.

Yeah, I'm grayed out.

I like that.

It's like a good, nice summer.

I got the buttons going.

Yeah, it's good.

I uh

thank you, bro.

Sorry, I got distracted.

Um, something about the rock.

Oh, yeah, dude, his shoes from Under Armour.

Shane hooked me up.

Shane hooked me up and honestly Under Armor.

All the YNs.

I want to be a YN dressed like a YN.

They all wear like Under Armor track suits.

It's cool.

A young nuisance.

Yeah.

In Philly, there's like a particular uniform, and it's like, it looks undermining.

Yeah, it's like Under Armor.

That's Baltimore.

Baltimore fucked with Under.

I know what you're talking about.

I'm not going to.

I'm the whole be able to do it.

I'm not just saying this.

I'm giving you an honest, unimbiased opinion.

Shane hooked me up with Under Armour sneakers, and they're my favorite shoes right now.

He used to beg to suck them on Twitter.

Oh, The Rock.

Yeah.

A long time ago.

I didn't suck them.

I said, I said we were going to jerk off together.

I used to send The Rock.

Totally different.

I used to send The Rock gay tweets.

Like Dutch Rudder or just together?

Just to fuck around.

I thought it was funny to send him gay tweets, and I would send them to people.

Look, I tweeted The Rock.

And my mom found them and called me furious.

Yeah.

What are you doing on this?

Damn, she found you.

What are you doing on Twitter, mom?

Yeah, she follows my shit all the time.

I would call her every now and again.

She'd be like,

I saw that one thing that was not very nice.

I'm like, I don't know.

What did I say?

You're using not nice language.

I got like told The Rock you were going to tie his hands behind his back.

That is not a nice thing to say to Dwayne Johnson.

I was like, dude, it was like 10 years ago.

I was a boy.

I was a boy, and I would send the Rock.

I thought it was hilarious to see you.

Chender.

He was a boy.

It was pretty funny.

He probably was just.

He was a kid.

Yeah.

It's coming off a divorce.

Yeah, dude.

Come on.

That's gooned out.

I was confused.

The Rock just made the fucking cool-ass movie.

God

for wine man.

Cut that out.

San Andreas.

That's what I was trying to think.

He's been sleeping, man.

When's the next big hit coming out?

You didn't see the Christmas movie that cost $250 million on Netflix?

Yeah, Red One is actually pretty good.

Oh, it's like his Marvel movie, yeah, for real.

It was a big, it was $250 million to make, and do you know how much The Rock got paid for that?

$100.

$50, but I still thought that was a lot.

That was probably made for the CCP, though.

Yeah.

They're probably like, oh, it was a flop button china.

Everyone's like, Red Wool?

That's what I was thinking about.

Wait, what was Red Wool's game?

What was it about?

No clue.

I have no idea.

It was like

The Rock is a secret service for Santa Claus.

Okay.

So if people are trying to attack Santa Claus, I thought it was a Marvel movie.

No.

Isn't he a Marvel dude, too?

Yeah, he's Black Adam.

That one flopped.

I think he was DC, and I think it was their biggest fan.

Black Adam flopped, yeah.

Man, it's funny.

They're trying to get in on that Black Panther thing.

Like, we'll also have a black guy named Adam.

Yeah.

That just sounds like a Chichester nickname for a black kid.

Every black kid in Chichester is black, whatever their name is.

It's insane.

So that's Black Kev.

It's fucking crazy.

What was Black Adam's superpower?

No clue.

He had the same powers as Shazam.

What the fuck was Shazam's superpower?

He was a genius.

His every power is super good.

That's so lazy.

I mean, he's not even excited about saying the powers, so it must not be great.

So he can see through things, he can freeze with his breath.

He can't freeze, he has super strength, super speed.

He shoots lightning.

The lightning is big.

The lightning was big?

The wisdom of Solomon.

Yeah.

Yeah, the wisdom of Solomon.

Oh, so he was willing to cut a baby in half to find out who the right mother was.

So wise.

So

he was a king.

Yeah.

He was a king.

I'm an Israelite.

I'm a super Israelite.

I'm actually an Israelite.

A plus.

Blood type.

Too huge in Israel.

Really?

Yep.

Huh?

You have the A plus?

You have the RH?

No, A plus.

What the fuck?

What does that even give you?

blood powers?

Is it like universal donor?

No, not even close.

It's like three of them.

What?

Yeah.

You just start when you, when it like,

You just kind of get a sick sense of a plane's about to fly into a building.

You're like, hold on.

I'm going to be late today.

I had that migraine earlier.

I should have paid attention to it, I guess.

Someone instant messaged me not to comment.

I don't know.

I don't know my blood type.

Wait, what's the guy's name in her?

Which one?

Big guy 4x4?

Big guy 4x4.

Don't come in or dude.

Her is rough, dude.

That's crazy.

I hate cucking.

That's pretty bad.

Wait, what are you talking about?

That's going to.

Why is he getting is he getting cucked he gets cucked by his os oh yeah he finds out he finds out that she also is the operating system for millions of other men yeah

uh

how much of them he loves like 641

what the fuck

it's pretty bad dang that movie was kind of ahead of its time because people are having dude it's like way ahead of its time it's like scary to watch now yeah because people are having like serious crises around chat gpt and ai people are like following it like a religious cult and stuff whoa really yeah people are like there's people who like, who are like tremendously insecure, who like ask ChatGPT shit for like advice.

It's like, dude, just call me.

I'll talk to you.

Yeah, that is pretty cool.

You could do brutal honesty and be like, dude, what do you think of me?

Here are some pics.

It could shoot you straight.

Destroy me.

It could Jordan Peterson, you, the Chat GPT.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But yeah, you can do it.

It's like the step up from Googling yourself.

You could be like, scour the web for anything I've ever done, my pictures.

What do you think of me, man?

And destroy me.

I want to kill you.

Yeah.

I've got nine days in me and I'm trying to fucking

thinking about the

white version of Southside of Chicago.

It's just comment sections.

Senseless violence and horrendous things constantly.

For no reason, dude.

You know I go there, right?

I know, yeah, I understand that.

It's bad there.

It's chill.

I go there.

And I can relate.

Because sometimes you go online, you see horrible things written about you.

And it's senseless, honestly.

I was about to start concerts or something trying to end this stuff.

Yeah, they do have to end the fucking word violence online.

It's not nice.

Are you still stuck in the comments?

No, dude.

I don't fucking read anything.

Borderline illiterate.

Really?

Lord of the Rings is the only thing I'm reading.

So you have no idea what your haters are up to.

No.

Not shit.

None whatsoever.

Shit.

Get someone.

Just go to ChatGBT and be like, bro, scan the comments.

Give me the honest report.

Zero in on one guy.

Yeah, get a real fucking

diluted sense of everything at once.

Both things you're thinking about are right.

That would be nice if you're just a commenter and just be like, yo, explain why this guy is the gayest guy ever.

Yeah.

Huge paragraph.

Yeah, and then can you write like a manifesto for me and like put his name on it rather than like

government villain?

They're definitely going to have a manifesto at some point.

Do ChatGBT?

Those ones, they turn out every time there's a shooting.

Whatever.

Oh, true.

You can't do that.

Chat GPT won't do that.

If you're like writing a manifesto.

You can hack ChatGPT.

What do you do?

You can make it do whatever the fuck you want, allegedly.

I have no idea.

Lemaire hacked it, I think.

I bet he did.

Yeah, he's going to call Ewo Music gay.

Yeah.

No.

Yeah, it's not a hack.

Why would you not be allowed to do that?

Chat GBT is like shit.

You won't call things gay?

No.

It'll like flag you.

if you're like, it'll be like, just so you know, this up, this violates our user policy, but then it could, it'll, it'll, like, it'll delve into certain things.

I just wanted you to call something gay.

Gay.

What is the big deal?

Grok might.

Yeah, Grok might.

If you put in super crazy mode, Elon's base.

Yeah, I tried it.

Grock called me gay when I did that.

Not to talk shit on Elon in his own state, but true.

Dude, apparently, wasn't he crunk at a dinner or something?

And everyone

was on one.

Oh, and he had the four forks and and he was like flying them.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't know if that's crunk, but that's like cool.

It's a mental disorder.

True.

You think he's just fucked up?

Yeah, they're trying to say he was on ketamine.

He might just be an ecstasy.

He might just be trying to impress this.

Which is like a very funny thing to be on around Trump.

Yeah, it's like a speedball kind of thing.

Yeah.

He's like hippie flipping, but crazier.

Yeah, that would be kind of weird.

I don't think he was.

I think that was just.

I think he was just being

severely autistic at dinner.

Just trying to plan his new fucking company, just like four forks to the vector nine.

Yeah,

yeah, everyone hates on him, man.

I get it.

I get he's I know he's like a nerd, but I don't know.

I still don't know why people like hate the guy

with a passion.

He's like annoying.

I don't like it.

I don't care.

He's annoying and he's very lame on Twitter.

I think

he's a giant door guy.

Yeah, he's in charge of rocket ships.

I think the cybertrop is cool, though.

Cybertrack?

The swastika car?

No, thanks.

I thought it was cool.

Dude, do they call it the Gen X divorceler mobile?

Yeah, it's divorce.

Someone like tweeted a picture of a cyber truck at Kanye West, and he was like, Elon, how can I get this version of the cyber truck?

I don't like what I don't like, I think it's a form of weakness when people have the Tesla and have the bumper sticker being like, got it before he was bad.

I think that's the weakest shit you can possibly.

Yeah, just draw a swastika on the back and fuck the man up.

Get what you deserve, dude.

That's what I'm saying.

It's so tough.

Yeah, exactly.

Don't take the bus.

You could easily trade your car in.

Yeah.

Like, if you were really trying to hit them in the pockets or something, although, to be fair, they say that it reduces your T by 18% to drive a master vehicle.

Yeah.

So I could, that is kind of low-tea.

Like, oh, six diesel pre-emissions, brother.

I just keep a cup of gasoline in my Tesla.

Oh, yeah.

You have a Tesla.

You have a Tesla?

I don't even have a fucking car.

Does my girlfriend have a Tesla?

Then I don't.

Oh, you got it.

Uber backed it.

Yeah, okay.

Never mind.

I was trying to Uber drives longer now.

Oh, yeah.

I've been pitching my wife on the idea of trading in both of our cars so she can get something for herself.

And I don't, I'll be like, I just won't have a car.

Get a side-by-side.

Those like off-roading cars.

Yo, that would be fun.

That would be sucks.

They're street legal.

Really?

Oh, yeah, but just like the cage.

Roll cage, yeah.

We use that way all the time with that.

That'd be sick.

Or a slingshot.

Slingshot would be tough.

A slingshot would be crazy.

I want to get one of those electric bicycles, but make it look like a dirt bike.

So an electric dirt bike, an electric bicycle that looks like a dirt bike.

Yeah, those things are fucking sick.

They sell them now for like five Gs that just already look like it.

I could trade my car and get like three of them.

You would love

three different cars.

I'll just buy your car, dude, if that's how cheap it is.

Yeah, I'm trying to pitch my wife on the idea that I'm just going to stop driving altogether.

An Uber everywhere?

Just Uber.

Yeah, just ride Ubers.

Yeah, why not?

And get like an electric bicycle.

I don't really like driving that much anymore.

I hate driving.

I shouldn't do it.

It's like irresponsible.

I don't pay attention to anything I'm doing.

I'm not paying attention at all get a self-driving car yeah

emfs are lower my teeth although if i have get a gas one make it happen gas self-driver yeah do they have they don't have that

well maybe they do the chevys and stuff have like drive assist and shit not full-blown auto like automated driving but i don't think the electricity is the reason that it's self-driving

Yeah, but I mean, like, I don't know.

I don't want a self-driving Chevy cruise.

It's going to fucking crash.

Get a side-by-side.

What about the aren't the new Hummers are electric?

Sick.

Which is.

Are they really?

Yeah.

My Uber driver earlier was like beeped on them.

He was like.

Can't blame him.

Yeah.

One drove by us, and then like a couple minutes later, he's like, did you see that car?

I was like, no.

He was like, it was the hummer.

It was the new hummer.

He was very excited.

Electric Hummer would be sick.

Electric Hummer would be sick, but I wonder if the EMFs, if there's like some device.

I could wear like an x-ray shield.

Yeah.

Just wear one of those lead things from the death.

that's what i'm saying wear like an wear an x-ray shield on your crotch though it's got to be on your crotch maybe it comes with it it's like bulletproof true that i i saw that one podcast and now i'm fucked up on electric cars

it was just like it was like a clip on instagram of these dude luke belmar's brother it could be dude did the split in front of the tates yeah that guy's a fucking freak yeah luke belmar's brother

might be my favorite kind of like crazy web guy right now i don't know

dude he kind of spits facts dude he does spit facts yeah bro if you're driving if if you're driving,

it's the most unrelatable.

He's like, look, man, because I drive a Lamborghini, I want my body to be shredded to match my car.

We should all be matching our cars.

Yeah.

And then he just goes into like Denny's and fucking sons the waiter.

He's like, I actually can't eat anything here because it's all cooked in seed oil.

We're all good here, bro.

What do you say?

We're all good here, bro.

For something like that.

I got to bounce, bro.

Did you watch the

Liver King Untold?

No, what is that?

The Untold?

You know, like ESPN, Untold, or whatever the fuck it is.

No, what was that on?

Melons watched it?

Netflix, yeah.

It's Liver kings like whole backstory it's crazy what they just hired dudes that come in like rich dudes will hire like a marketing team oh they'll like pump up their instagram for no reason yeah you get a pr oh it's like a pr firm you're like i wanted to bell mars though so did he not need to eat all that raw meat no he did okay he was on strike insane he's not doing good right now he's losing an eye oh wow oh why is he losing his eye

because he hasn't had a fucking proper meal in the past three years

he got like hit or something in his eye and it like deteriorate his corner who struck who Who committed regicide against the Liver King?

Either Rad or Stryker.

What?

Liver Rad or Liver Striker.

Nine sons?

He's like a good one.

One of the Liver Boys hit the father?

It's like biblical.

Stryker has a new song.

Give me a minute.

Stryker's got a starter.

Liver King's son.

One of the Liver Boys.

There's Liver Radical.

He's living in a different part of the world.

There's Liver Radical, Liver Striker.

I didn't know.

But his name's Son's Radical.

Rad and Stryker.

Untold's fucking amazing.

He was so close to doing it, dude.

I know.

Doing what?

Just being the absolute

changing the world.

Fuck family annihilation.

That's my theory.

That is my theory.

I'm standing on that until it happens.

At some point, as a joke, Liver King's going to annihilate his family.

You think it's going to be annihilation of the liver nation?

Yes.

100%.

His wife's going to turn around, see the wreckage, and turn to a pillar of salt.

She told him to lie.

What?

When all that shit came out, she's like, just fucking lie, fuck it.

Kind of a beast, liver wife.

She is.

That's a liver queen.

It's literally liver queen.

That's what I call her.

Isis bride.

Just stay down.

It's really awesome.

Just lie.

I mean, she was right.

Definitely, you've been lying about steroids this whole time.

Don't come out now.

It did ruin him to come out back, I'll be honest.

I mean, he didn't come out, he got exposed.

Who buy plays dates?

Uh, more place, more dates.

That's some respect, Derek.

Uh, yeah, uh,

dick, I'm saying, I'm just NPM day, bro.

If you want to abbreviate it, it's NPM day.

When you're eight days in, like me, it's just like I send those texts like, be there.

Yeah, it's too much.

That's actually that's uh that's kind of like Belmarish what to be like I don't need the article I can get my point across without it.

Yeah, you never lose frame.

You should see Apple intelligence on that.

What's that?

It can like you can highlight a paragraph and make it sound better.

Whoa, no, yeah, if you like send an email you can it'll help your email really make it you should try to see if you can make it get worse just more caveman-ish

just so you know you're being a fucking alpha.

Yeah, keep restructure this paragraph so I retain frame.

It's like, why are you doing lol you bitch?

It's like

yeah, you're not supposed to laugh at anything anything anyone ever texts you.

I can't help it.

I've been trying to do that, and I still have to send like a haha.

Yeah, yeah, I feel like a psycho when I'm just saying, yes, yeah, okay.

I realized I was doing that in

freshman year of high school, and a chick called me out, like, why do you say ha ha?

And at the beginning, I was doing it at the beginning and the end.

I was like, ha ha, nothing was going on, lol.

And I just said that I was like, fuck, yeah, that crushes.

I'll tell you what's not going on.

You're dick in my body.

Did not at all.

Not even close.

I do.

Um,

what was I?

Oh, I used to send, I used to have periods in my text.

It'd be like, yeah, I'll be there, period.

And I remember our sister was like, why do you have periods in your text?

Like a psychopath.

Yeah, people get upset about it.

I have periods.

People like to read into it.

If I have a second sentence, commas are crazy.

Commas are crazy.

Why?

Sometimes I use a semicolon like a perfect.

I mean, Brazil nuts while I use a semicolon.

I still don't understand what the fucking point of a semicolon is.

It's just, it's just two sentences.

I think it's not me.

I thought it was just for like suicide.

Suicide.

I know, like, those tattoos or whatever.

Oh, yeah.

Something happens and chicks get those.

The suicide queen or king card thing.

Hold on, what?

People get semicolons, like it means it's not over or something like that.

I don't know if it's, I have no idea.

They get like behind their ear, right?

I'm just getting into tattoo lore right now.

Medusa means you were forcefully taken by another man.

Whoa, what?

Medusa tattoo, yeah, yeah.

Why would somebody get that on themselves?

Take it back.

Their power.

Hello, everybody.

That's the end of the regular episode.

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Goodbye.

Have a nice week.