Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)

Speaker 1 Wow, wow, Wes.

Speaker 2 It's starting right now. God damn it.
We're in. We're live, dude.

Speaker 1 Powerful clap.

Speaker 2 We're fucking live. We have so much tech going on right now.
This is the first time on the free episode we've done the call-in.

Speaker 1 Really? Live calling.

Speaker 2 But right now, we'll just pod like natural, bro. Okay.

Speaker 2 We got a wall of bros in the Zoom just staring at us on the screen.

Speaker 1 I can't pod any other way.

Speaker 1 I need to see the bros.

Speaker 2 God damn it. How are you guys doing? How was Mother's Day? Did you guys call your mothers?

Speaker 1 I did call them. I didn't get nothing.
I feel pretty bad about it, though.

Speaker 2 How did you get my mom? Well, I know, I split a present with my brother.

Speaker 1 That's just how I move. I just gave her a nice call.
How are you doing? That's all they want. What else are you going to get her? Started to send her some Amazon flowers, but then I don't know.

Speaker 1 Amazon flowers? I wasn't going to get the flowers today. And it was like, well, at that point, she don't even care no more.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 My mom doesn't like flowers.

Speaker 1 I think my mom, my dad used to be a flower dude, and then he stopped. And that's why I think it brings it back to like, somebody's still getting me flowers.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. I mean, most, they love flowers.

Speaker 1 My pops used to try to be a

Speaker 1 romantic rent a limo, go do. He used to be like that kind of guy.

Speaker 1 He went all out for. Couldn't afford it, though.
It's probably a real bad move.

Speaker 2 Nah, limo is a nice move. Flowers, really, anymore, are just for them to display on social media just to crush other women.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or when you're working in the office, like that's what I used to do. I used to send them my girl Jones, and that was all it was for.

Speaker 3 So the other bitches were like, oh, so all the co-workers see it? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. Oh, that's a crazy Mac.

Speaker 1 And every lady in the place is jealous. Yeah, that's quite late.
Oh, they're really beautiful.

Speaker 1 Where'd you get them from?

Speaker 2 Bitch. Get off my fucking flowers, ladies.

Speaker 2 Fuck you.

Speaker 2 Happy Mother's Day. We went to church.

Speaker 1 It was fucking lit.

Speaker 2 Church? Went to church on Mother's Day.

Speaker 2 Dude, it was.

Speaker 2 We never went to this place before. The preacher, it was like, you know, those Texas churches.
It's not like a Catholic Mass. It's just like the standard format of the bro.

Speaker 2 I think they, we missed the intro jam.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And then the guy, yeah, we missed that.

Speaker 1 And then the black church?

Speaker 2 No, no, no. No, no.
It was like white. It was like, it was like white black church.

Speaker 1 Okay. All right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4 Like righteous gemstone style.

Speaker 2 It's similar, yeah. It's not, it wasn't as overblown and theatrical, but it was like, we just walked in on the, I guess the pastor just cooking, dude.
It was just like a 40-minute speech.

Speaker 2 And he was like, he's literally a bro. And he was just talking about men and women.
And he was like.

Speaker 2 Just he was like, I'm painting in broad strokes, but he it was it was nothing like sweet and kind of it was just like list listen dude like kind of giving women the business on motherfuckers.

Speaker 2 You want sweetly and then kind of encouragingly. And I was just sitting there just fucking like, go, brother.

Speaker 1 Go.

Speaker 1 What was his like angle?

Speaker 2 He was saying we need to work together.

Speaker 2 He's like, we're being divided and women are getting crushed thinking like, you know, he's like, basically being like, dude, you don't, you don't, if you want to have a job, have a job. Who cares?

Speaker 2 But he's like,

Speaker 2 the societal forces trying to tell you. If you don't have a job, you're less than.
He goes, it's coming straight from the pits of hell.

Speaker 2 I was like, preach, preach brother he was just he was ripping he was basically saying dudes need to be made to feel like they can like do i have what it takes and women are thinking do i am i enough yeah and he was like how you can answer those questions and also nicely being like and look women like kind of shut the up stop bothering guys

Speaker 2 hike this guy up tell him he's a beast

Speaker 2 pick up the fucking paper towel off the ground say a prayer throw in the fucking trash and don't bother the guy about it i might have to go catch that good word

Speaker 2 dude it was going, he was going back to the Bible, being like, yeah, sorry, dude. You know, you guys went back to the garden.
He was like, look, this is just the story. All right.

Speaker 1 You guys fucked it up.

Speaker 1 That wouldn't have been your fault.

Speaker 2 That's why childbirth hurts. Sorry, happy mothers.
Dude, he was nice. And

Speaker 2 he was very tactful about it. It was nice.

Speaker 1 What made y'all make the move? Like the church Mother's Day move?

Speaker 2 Brittany loves church.

Speaker 1 So I planned.

Speaker 2 I just try to plan the ideal day.

Speaker 1 Dude, a pastor.

Speaker 4 I've never been to a church where the preacher, the pastor the priest could get pussy can't pastor

Speaker 2 it helps them because when the guy when they don't get any sniz like they talk about relationships and

Speaker 2 that look that's universal a lot of those churches get someone gets caught up there's one at every every church i'm convinced there's i think there's apparently there's like way more pedophiles than people think yeah i watched we talked about it last week i watched a clip and this guy was like bro it's everywhere everyone's going for this stuff We were,

Speaker 1 I was thinking, I almost brought this up when we were doing the page last week because we were talking about X videos and how fucked up some of them videos look.

Speaker 1 And you, you can always see the counter on, like, it'll be one where it's like, that looks crazy, but it'll be like 30 million views, and it's just like

Speaker 1 that's crazy, like you know what I mean. Like, if that makes sense, we're talking about them porns that the girl X video looks too young, and you try to fire it all.

Speaker 2 Oh, you see, like, how many people have

Speaker 1 and you can see right under the video, how many people have viewed it, and the numbers are always nuts. It's always

Speaker 2 like a billion views. I know.

Speaker 4 But on what kind of pornography do you mean? Like, oh, definitely.

Speaker 1 What kinds of pornography?

Speaker 1 Oh, you weren't there.

Speaker 2 There's, there's, I noticed I had been off the hub for a long time just because, like, you know, due to the legislation in the state, I couldn't go on porn hub proper.

Speaker 2 And I like was in San Francisco and I was like, oh, let me check out what they're up to. And it was just like this lady who looked like she was a teenager.

Speaker 2 And it was just like a huge feed of just her stuff.

Speaker 1 And it was just kind of like, what the fuck, stop with this, yeah, like, dude, young looking, yeah, no, I know, yeah,

Speaker 2 I see it, they're fired up, but it does help when the pastor is getting snazzed, yeah, it's

Speaker 1 I don't know how it got us off track like that. That's straight from the pits of hell, yeah, when the pastor is getting snazzy, dude.

Speaker 2 They were, and it's like nice because it's coming from

Speaker 2 it's such a good central authority to come from like not, it's not you being like, shut the fuck up, it's a guy being like, God said that,

Speaker 4 he's giving us the word of God, and God's telling you to stop being so mean to him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, hype this guy up.

Speaker 2 And it was the same thing. He was like, dude, if you want your babes to stop hassling you, you gotta, you gotta, he had these two little piggy banks.
He's like, you gotta fill her piggy bags, man.

Speaker 2 You can give it like a month where you're just chilling with her non-stop. Almost to the point where she's like, all right, enough of you.

Speaker 1 He goes, then you can go party with the fucking brush.

Speaker 2 I mean, I'm obviously summarizing, but that's what I got from it. He was jacked, too.

Speaker 1 Just a jacked. He was a jacked bro.

Speaker 4 Jacked pussy getting past her.

Speaker 2 He's the man. White man?

Speaker 1 Married in there? He's mad.

Speaker 2 For sure. Yeah, he's married.
Okay. No, no.
Yeah, that would have been crazy. If he was single, being like these bitches on the app.

Speaker 1 No, family man threw it through.

Speaker 4 Outside and giving his Instagram to the girls leaving the circle.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I also, speaking of which, bro, I fucking showed up here and realized I had my wife's keys for the car in my pocket.

Speaker 1 Just like, God.

Speaker 4 Damn. You should start holding it down like that, though.

Speaker 1 Like, you can't do no staying home. I should.

Speaker 1 I should.

Speaker 1 Take your cell phone.

Speaker 2 No cell phone. Paycheck straight to fucking me.

Speaker 1 It's actually the opposite.

Speaker 2 I have, she handles everything. I have no idea what's going on in my house.

Speaker 1 That's how I would be too. It's like a samurai.

Speaker 2 That's what the samurais did.

Speaker 4 They gave all the responsibility.

Speaker 2 Any earthly responsibility, it's like I don't even want to know, man.

Speaker 4 You're just concerned with war and

Speaker 2 just strat. I see.
And haikus.

Speaker 1 I just want to sit in grassy mill and just concoct haikus.

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Speaker 2 But yeah, that was sick, man. That was tight.
We did that. Had a little BBQ at my house.

Speaker 1 Yummy.

Speaker 2 It was yummy.

Speaker 1 What were the meats?

Speaker 1 Pauls. Seafood.
Seafood. Oh, seafood bar.

Speaker 2 Give my black queen a seafood.

Speaker 4 I got a white boy on my roster. He feeding me pasta and lobster.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I saw my mommy on set.

Speaker 4 What? I saw my mommy on set. That was nice.

Speaker 2 What'd you guys do?

Speaker 1 We went to an Italian restaurant and got really drunk. Nice.
Philadelphia, yeah.

Speaker 1 that's awesome that's awesome what do y'all think about this happy mother's days to just a dog my girl had we have a dog she says she's a dog's mom that's her white girl stuff she kind of was she kind of was shooting for it i could i felt that towards the end of the day she was shooting for a happy mother's day from it no i i yeah i'm a big no i'm not gonna lie i didn't give it to her in the most funny joke for sure

Speaker 2 but i was like Well, it's also, it's also, to be fair, I feel like any of those Hallmark type days, if you play it right, you can get some motherfucking ass. True, true, you know what I mean?

Speaker 2 So, you should have played up the dog bomb and be like, bro, this is crazy.

Speaker 1 I didn't even think about it. I showed up late.
I got home late from, I went to the Stars game yesterday at Dallas Stars, got in that ass

Speaker 1 and showed up at 10.

Speaker 1 Just no energy. I was cooked.
I just was sitting there. I couldn't have given her nothing on Mother's Day if she wanted it.
You were all hockey out. Yeah, yeah.
I was screaming.

Speaker 1 I was having a good time. I didn't know nothing that was going on.
You came back and broke her off with a hockey dick.

Speaker 1 That's rough. Just a lipstick, fuck.

Speaker 2 just grabbing her shoulders just fucking fighting her

Speaker 2 yeah it was uh it was sick i showed my wife the kanye video by the way the which one his new one his newest latest song

Speaker 1 oh yeah maybe we shouldn't say the title it's double h you said me

Speaker 2 you can't even name the title of a song that's how banned it is

Speaker 4 yeah i i read about that how it's just scrubbed immediately off yeah i mean

Speaker 2 the most shocking part of it to me other than you know obviously it's lyrical content is the warehouse full of black dudes dressed like wolves.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 What are they? Is that, is that like, how much did he pay them for that? Because I'd imagine that would go against your brain.

Speaker 1 That's a life-chaining, a life-changing moment for you. You're done getting work as a video boy now, I think.
I guess you. I don't know.
I don't know what you call them.

Speaker 2 I don't know what you call them either. Video, male, video, Nazi Vixen.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Nazi Vixen.

Speaker 2 Although, what I wonder now is like, you know, not for myself personally, but I wonder if that opened up like a world of guys who, like, if you're into like Cucks and Bulls situation, being like, dude, that's, that would be if i was into bulls that would be a charge situation just there's a black nazi dressed like a wolf

Speaker 1 he's like way more man than me

Speaker 2 he's the little business it's like furry stuff maybe maybe he's getting pivoting to furry well did you see the thing where he was on the sneeko live stream and like i don't know if it was staged or what but he was just talking about like not cucking in general

Speaker 4 No, I didn't see this.

Speaker 2 They were talking about, he was talking about like, yeah, like people might think it's cucking, but he was like, basically talking about like loaning your babe out. Oh, he likes it.

Speaker 2 It's actually called a stag vixen. There's a, there's a, it's like different than my brother Tom just texted me.
He was like, are you down with stag vixens? And he broke it all down.

Speaker 2 And it's not so much like a cuck, but it's more of a

Speaker 2 proactive role where you bring your babe. And I mean, this is straight from the pits of hell as well.

Speaker 2 But you bring your babe to a function and you got, you have a hoe bag. So you have a bag of toys you're just carrying.
Yeah. Probably something.

Speaker 2 If you're balling, probably like a night, you're just Gucci down.

Speaker 1 It's like a Gucci bag full of just toys.

Speaker 2 And you go to a function you just you find your your man in wolf clothing and then you're like yeah and you you organize it more and you're like here's the hoe bag do you get a bae like does he give give you one of his bae's is it a trade i don't know if it's a trade terror something

Speaker 2 yeah i don't know if we can still trade babes right now

Speaker 2 i don't really understand them that much but you know i think it's just more of a uh i think it is more into the cuckold territory but that's more of a price just like an empowered cuckold that's not good mother's day talk It's not at all.

Speaker 1 I mean, let's see what it is.

Speaker 4 I wonder if he got Kim anything, though.

Speaker 1 If what?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I wonder what Kanye got Kim Kardashian for Mother's Day. I hope not.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but you know, she's still a mommy after it all.

Speaker 2 She's still a mommy after all. She deserves a card.

Speaker 1 You might have gotten it. She deserves a card or maybe a bouquet or, I don't know, maybe a diamond encrusted swastika or something along with those swastikas.

Speaker 1 Just a new necklace.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah, a new dice necklace.

Speaker 2 But yeah, that was fun watching. Like, hey, what do you think about this? And putting it on for her her and her slowly just being like, what the fuck?

Speaker 2 No contact with me.

Speaker 2 She did not know. She was not following the

Speaker 2 black Nazi news.

Speaker 4 I've been trying to really unplug because it's been too racially charged lately. It is, man.
Everything. They're just trying to get me so bad.
I'm not going to let them get me.

Speaker 2 They want the race war so bad.

Speaker 4 They can't make me hate my brothers and sisters.

Speaker 2 That's what I'm saying, dude.

Speaker 4 That's the last thing I'm going to do.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 2 I don't even think...

Speaker 2 I mean, maybe they're getting people. I read a study one time that said, like, it was just a book I was reading, but they said 70%,

Speaker 2 it was based on a study they did a long time ago, just like trying to discern kind of levels of awareness and like how people view the world. Like, if, like, whatever, but they said

Speaker 2 70% of people were frame the world ethnocentrically, where they're just like, and if it kind of checks out, if you go to any country, it's like Italy has the best food, the best people.

Speaker 1 Oh, I see. So, yeah, okay.

Speaker 4 I'm not, I was.

Speaker 1 So, like, yeah,

Speaker 1 how is it?

Speaker 2 Like, your ethnicity is like the central defining characteristic of your entire reality. And people who aren't part of your ethnicity are like, just

Speaker 2 not part of your squad. You feel better than them.

Speaker 1 Don't you?

Speaker 2 Like, black people do it.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to throw them out of the bust.

Speaker 2 Like, if you ask them, it's like, yeah, like, we're clearly the best. Everyone's evil.
You know, if you ask some white people on Twitter, they'll be like, well, actually.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, okay. I see.
I think we're the best.

Speaker 2 And, you know, if you go to the country by country, it's like, no, our country is the best.

Speaker 1 I see. It's crazy.

Speaker 2 70% of people view the world kind of like that.

Speaker 1 It's crazy how many countries

Speaker 1 act that way, but they're so clearly wrong. Just we're

Speaker 1 like, bro, yeah,

Speaker 2 we're from Latvia.

Speaker 1 We have the fish.

Speaker 2 It's like, dude, I hate to break it.

Speaker 1 Come on, man. I hate to break it.

Speaker 2 She's not even in the fucking running.

Speaker 1 I didn't even think people would miss y'all.

Speaker 1 People might not even know. Yeah,

Speaker 1 they're pretty new.

Speaker 2 They should do Yelp for countries.

Speaker 2 Just the whole country's on Yelp. And you're like, yeah, I went to Latvia.
One star.

Speaker 2 One fucking star. I got a group on.

Speaker 2 Dude, I was reading about the countries that have the most journalists in prison. I was reading about the new Pope.
He was like, I guess his first

Speaker 2 American Pope came out, dude. American as hell, bro.
He was like, we got to protect freedom of speech. We got to release the journalists who are prisoners.

Speaker 2 And the top offending countries, I think, are China.

Speaker 2 Israel's in the mix.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 2 Israel has a lot of journalists. Well, here's the thing.

Speaker 1 I would have never.

Speaker 2 Well, and then they clarified in the article because I was like, holy fuck. And then they were like, because it's like China.
Can we look? I'm going to see what the top five countries are.

Speaker 2 It's definitely China and Russia's top five.

Speaker 1 I thought they wouldn't be on the list. That was about to be my guess.
I thought they were just bodying them.

Speaker 5 Nah, they hold those guys.

Speaker 2 They hold them in jail because I think they try to flip them.

Speaker 2 You know, it'd be really cool now that they're in jail to write like cool stuff about us. Now we're fucking awesome.
But yeah, they were saying it's a, yeah, there it is.

Speaker 4 Myanmar is China, Belarus.

Speaker 2 That's a fucking wild one.

Speaker 3 Myanmar is a shit.

Speaker 2 Belarus, Turkey, and Egypt, bro. People are going to saying the pyramid tours are bullshit.
Spud, you better watch out.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and then I think Israel's just, Israel wasn't on that list for a while. And then through the war, now they're like number three.
They got a lot of journals. Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah, damn.

Speaker 1 It's not a good look.

Speaker 2 No, it's a terrible one.

Speaker 1 It's not good look.

Speaker 2 I mean, if you're locking journalists up, you probably are up to something bad.

Speaker 1 You don't want it to get out. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like,

Speaker 2 there's not a world in which I have to arrest somebody. People can say whatever they want.

Speaker 2 As soon as I'm like, yeah, put that guy in a room for a while.

Speaker 4 I don't know. You say that, but Le Maire said, I kissed my dad on the lips a couple weeks ago, and I was like,

Speaker 1 I think it depends on what.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 2 You can put Le Maire in a room for a while.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'd lock you up for something like that.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's kind of the thing.

Speaker 2 You're running a country and they're saying something to that degree.

Speaker 2 Now, you didn't lock him up because you know it's not true. True.

Speaker 4 If it it were true, yeah, that's actually a good point.

Speaker 2 You'd have to toss them there in a motherfucking room.

Speaker 5 But I did see my daddy this weekend.

Speaker 2 You saw him?

Speaker 2 How was the urge to kiss?

Speaker 1 The urge to kiss was strong. We did not kiss.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah. Unfortunately.
What was maybe?

Speaker 1 What was I? I saw all this stuff going on with Barcelona. It sounded like y'all knew what's going on.

Speaker 2 Are you doing a speaking of which?

Speaker 1 Speaking of. Yeah, speaking of.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude.

Speaker 2 So, what I gather, there was just a guy, I think it was like a Middle Eastern bro, if I'm not mistaken.

Speaker 1 Yes, that's right.

Speaker 2 And he was at the barstool bar.

Speaker 2 And I got when you get bottle service, you're allowed to write like a message in case, I guess it's somebody's birthday or if you're burning with a message to send to the world or otherwise.

Speaker 2 And he wrote, I think, fuck the Jews

Speaker 2 on his, and the bottle girls brought it out.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he, which

Speaker 1 they were just following orders.

Speaker 1 Following orders.

Speaker 2 To be fair, them, they got fired.

Speaker 1 The girls got fired. Oh, man.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Portnoy fired the two women. And then he offered to re-educate the young man, the Middle Eastern man, who was bawling out.

Speaker 4 He said he was going to send him to Auschwitz, but well, he said he wanted to give him a tour of Auschwitz. Yeah.

Speaker 4 But he also said he's going to get him a trip to Germany because he was under the impression that Auschwitz is in Germany, which is false.

Speaker 1 It's in Poland.

Speaker 2 See, I didn't know that either.

Speaker 7 I had no idea.

Speaker 1 I could have gone on the floor.

Speaker 2 I went to my barstool-sponsored Auschwitz tour.

Speaker 2 I could have booked the wrong flight as well.

Speaker 4 That was fun to be in Philly for that. I couldn't stop talking about it.
I just kept being like, let's go get bottle service. Be like, but we're not thirsty.
We just want the sock.

Speaker 2 You might have to go to Auschwitz, dude. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're about to go next. I'd go.

Speaker 4 I'd go check it out.

Speaker 2 Check it out. Listen.
I don't know that I would, if I'm being honest. If I'm in Europe and I'm like, there's so much stuff to do.

Speaker 1 It's like I'm in Europe.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I can go to like the Mediterranean. It's like, no, let's go to a fucking former site, a military camp,

Speaker 2 kill Jewish people. I'm like, no, I'm straight, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm going to eat this motherfucking grub. Yeah.
Then you got to go to, you said it was in Poland.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I don't know.

Speaker 2 I don't know if I, I don't know, and no offense to Poland. I think Poland might rise as a world power one day, but I don't know that I'd go to Poland.
If I'm in Europe, you only have so much time.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 You know, they're all just trying to screw in light bulbs over there.

Speaker 1 I'll just try to get out of cars. Figure out how to get out of cars and screw it and how to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was so funny to me when I found out how dumb white people think Polish people are. I was like, I didn't know that for my whole life.

Speaker 2 Never end. Although I heard they have the hogs.

Speaker 1 I heard Polish people have the girlfriend, bro. That's why they're careful to smell.

Speaker 1 They're like, fuck it. Why would you?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Dude, that shoved out.
That was from a book I read. They talked about the guy would always talk about the big Polish hog.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Pretty serious.

Speaker 2 I know, for real. But yeah, that whole situation was funny because then they the guy tried to get in on the racially charged GoFundMe train.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I think everyone had just gave their last dollar to that white lady and the black lady shabby guy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so they had already cleaned up. So this guy was like, it's time to cash in.
And then he was like, yeah, fuck that dude. And then he was like, give me some money.

Speaker 2 And I think he raised like 20 G's, which damn.

Speaker 4 Everybody's raising 20 G's.

Speaker 1 Now, dude, other people raised

Speaker 1 400. Everybody's

Speaker 4 doing GoFundMes for

Speaker 4 getting in when they get in trouble on the internet.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's the new thing.

Speaker 2 Because you can like, you know, if you find, say, like, you get bottle service, you know, you say, whatever, fuck the juice, whatever you want to say.

Speaker 2 You get on the thing, you get your, you do your fuck the juice, bottle service. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Which, by the way, there's probably probably so many people hearing about that who started sending fucked up messages. Yeah.
Just for, like, it sounds funny, but just for fun, probably.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Was you saying he sent that to Portnoy? No, no, he's sent it.

Speaker 3 I just got word of it.

Speaker 3 It's his bar. It's his bar.

Speaker 4 It's a barstool bar on Sans.

Speaker 2 Oh, another one across the street from free. He was at the barstool bar, and the guy, when pressed, he was like, look, I have no problem, but they are doing a genocide.
Is that what the fuck you?

Speaker 2 He went into his big thing, and then Portnoy rescinded his offer to send him to Auschwitz. He's like, You can't go to Auschwitz anymore now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sorry, you've been bad for Auschwitz

Speaker 2 tour for you. You got to do that on your own, Dime now that you made $27,000.

Speaker 6 Del Kylo is being funny.

Speaker 4 He was like, He could have just rode Israel. It would have been so fun.
It was so much better.

Speaker 1 That's what I was saying. Why don't people do that? I don't know.
I don't know.

Speaker 4 They get crazy. He's passionate, I guess.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or he meant what he said.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I know. They looked into this guy, and apparently, again, just according to news, allegedly, he has some content up where he's pretty clear being like, yeah, I'm not a fan.

Speaker 4 Not a fan of it. Yeah, they don't.
Yeah, he does not like them.

Speaker 1 He's the first one.

Speaker 4 But then he's going on like white supremacist podcast or whatever. This is Cassass, and everybody was there, too, so they knew about it more than I did.

Speaker 4 And I guess he was like going on like racist dudes podcasts. And they'd be like, oh, that was really good about the Jews.
But then it'd be like, but we still don't like you, though.

Speaker 1 Oh, because you're Middle Eastern Days.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's been you.

Speaker 1 But we like you a little bit more.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the hardcore white Christians in the Middle Eastern, that's been the defining thing between them being like, good call, guys, but fuck you guys, too.

Speaker 2 It's just such an impoverished worldview. It's like, dude, you can't fully bro down.
If you're that filled with hate, it's like your bro down is always going to be kind of handicapped.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that must have been a crazy vibe.

Speaker 2 Fuck the Jews, Barstool Bar.

Speaker 4 Fuck the Jews, and then just like

Speaker 4 I don't know, Tiesto is playing really loud, right?

Speaker 1 And there's like sparklers going off. Yeah, it's that, yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, well, again, it seemed like a place where you'd want to make a statement like that, but they were probably just being nasty.

Speaker 1 I think he had like a Nazi babe with him, and she was like, you won't do it. I'll suck your dick right now.

Speaker 1 I don't think that

Speaker 4 Nazi babes exist.

Speaker 4 Well, there is that one that said the N-word,

Speaker 4 says the N-word all the time. Have you ever seen that lady?

Speaker 2 Who, the lady at the park?

Speaker 4 No, no, no.

Speaker 4 Do you guys not not know what i'm talking about it's it's hard to explain mezy do you know who i'm talking about ah shoot

Speaker 2 mezy's not on that only fans

Speaker 2 it's not only fans but she i think she did like piers morgan or something and he was like do you use the n-word and she was like yes very piers morgan's really scraping dude the dregs of the internet he's really trying to get that show popping yeah he had yay on yay walked off did he

Speaker 2 was like you have 33 million whatever followers and he's like i have 0.9 33.9 just walked off like no you fucking facts.

Speaker 1 I've never gone to that. That, what he said, uh, what do you say?

Speaker 2 What they say is, don't take inches off my dick, don't take inches off my dick

Speaker 1 because if you first hear it, it's like, all right, it's a couple of points of your followers.

Speaker 1 Then you hear a word that don't take inches off my dick, and you're like, all right, yeah, you made a hunt. I get it now.
Yeah, that's pretty funny.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's really, Pierce Morgan's like really going after pretty much anyone who's like, you know, he'll cast a wide net on the internet and be like, what are you doing?

Speaker 2 And they're like, fuck you, dude. Shut the fuck up.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I don't want to. I start doing that.
Rage bait. baiting.
Just blow my numbers up. Yeah, you could.

Speaker 5 It's there, bro.

Speaker 1 It's there.

Speaker 5 We can all do it.

Speaker 4 Yeah. What would you do if you rage baited?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Lemaire's been doing it lately with the hot dog and the mouth guard and the hot dog butter.

Speaker 5 That's kind of rage bait.

Speaker 2 Nah, that's just good old fun right there.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You could go.

Speaker 2 You could go hardcore against black women. That's a sick thing.
Black people can do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I make big white dollars.

Speaker 1 I'll make some big white dollars if I started. start the white dollar.

Speaker 1 You could.

Speaker 2 White bucks, it would be nice if I gave them just a million white bucks.

Speaker 2 Just one hot weekend, dude.

Speaker 1 Start and just start a go-for me, be rich.

Speaker 2 But then that's got to be your thing for the rest of the. You can't.
You could maybe try to come back.

Speaker 1 I could flip it. Could flip it and be like,

Speaker 1 just find.

Speaker 1 I'd have to replace my woman, though. That would be, and I don't want to do that.

Speaker 2 That's the only way I can think I could flip it. If you went at Black Queens, you think you'd have to replace it?

Speaker 1 I'd have to get a Black Queen and be like, and share the wealth. Or you could just get it.
Why? What do you mean?

Speaker 4 You could get You can make the money.

Speaker 1 You say there's no coming back. The only way to come back is to be like, all right, start all over, get a dashiki, get a black queen.

Speaker 4 Yeah, you could Umar.

Speaker 1 Or I could get Dalazal and fuck everybody's head up. It's been a quiet goal.
That'd be nice.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fall in love with Rachel Dalazal.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Nate loves Rachel Dalazal.

Speaker 2 You could. Maybe try to do, maybe try to do one of those.
Whatchamacallit? Threesome podcasts.

Speaker 1 Oh, like, what's his name? 22.

Speaker 4 22.

Speaker 1 22.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 2 What's the fucking chat doing? Bring these motherfucking bros in here.

Speaker 4 Before we go to the chat, you want to do the research.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Thank you.

Speaker 2 Let's keep this electrifying energy going.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 Jesus freaking Christ. Yeah, let's get this out of the way.

Speaker 2 Let's get this out of the way. Guys, forgive us.
Actually, I shouldn't even qualify like that, but yeah, you know what I mean.

Speaker 2 All right, before we get back to this awesome show, here's a real quick special segment called More or Less Playoff Edition. And it's brought to you by PrizePicks.

Speaker 2 It's the playoff, and every game's insane. And we're basically watching a bunch bunch of basketball players crumble under pressure.

Speaker 1 Geez. Really, though.

Speaker 2 It's a little joke. Are they crumbling, huh?

Speaker 1 It's all the top teams.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I thought the Celtics were supposed to be good and they're stinking.

Speaker 1 They're getting crushed by the... Wait, who are they? Eckerbaches.
Yeah, the Knicks. I mean, that one was supposed to be a good series, I think.

Speaker 1 But I didn't know I saw them getting crushed like they're getting crushed by the Knicks.

Speaker 4 The third game was brutal.

Speaker 2 Guys, get this. So we figured, let's take a look at who's actually showing up, who's choking, and which stat lines are actually looking good.
Let's get into it. I mean, I don't know, man.

Speaker 4 I have him up right here.

Speaker 2 What are you thinking? Jason Tatum for more than 25 points?

Speaker 1 I hate to say it, but I do think Jason Tatum is going to get more than 25.

Speaker 4 Yeah, but it is at 27.5 now.

Speaker 1 For real?

Speaker 4 More or less than 27.5.

Speaker 1 Do I have old copy? I think you have it. Well, I have the update.
Oh, there you go.

Speaker 4 Yes, on my phone. Good call.

Speaker 2 Or Anthony Edwards for more than 2.5 three-pointers made.

Speaker 1 I would say yes.

Speaker 1 That doesn't seem like a lot.

Speaker 5 That's all they do is shoot three-pointers out there.

Speaker 1 More for the Ant-Man. You say there's 2.5?

Speaker 5 I'm saying more.

Speaker 1 More for that.

Speaker 2 Definitely more.

Speaker 2 Here's the kicker, Julius Randle, for more than eight rebounds. That's what I watch.
I keep track of rebounds.

Speaker 1 The assists.

Speaker 1 Blocks. I'm giving a no on that.

Speaker 1 I think there's less.

Speaker 1 Less, less, less. My bad.
Less. Eight boards? Huh? Eight boards.
I think less than eight boards. You think so? I think so.

Speaker 2 You don't think he's putting that ass on the other players?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't think he's got the hustle in him today. All right.
They're up in the series. I don't think he's got the hustle in them.

Speaker 2 Maybe what if that's a take? That's your GoFundMe.

Speaker 1 Everyone's like, fuck you.

Speaker 2 Is there any particular players, teams, or matchups that you've enjoyed? Has anything surprised you, Nate? Let me ask you, did you have any predictions for the rest of the playoffs?

Speaker 1 Let's get into that.

Speaker 1 Now I'm kind of thinking,

Speaker 1 I think who's going to win the finals is going to be a Western Conference team. Honestly, I don't want to say it, but I think my guess is the Nuggets.
If I'm calling everything they

Speaker 1 kind of quietly think the Nugs are going to

Speaker 2 Denver Frosty Nugs are going to win. Yeah, I think the Denver Frosty Nugs.

Speaker 1 Damn. That worked out perfect for them, actually.
I didn't think about that. Frosty Nugs for Denver Nuggets.
Do you think they'll win? Yeah, I think they'll win. I think

Speaker 1 the Pacers. The Pacers are surprising everybody.
That's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 2 I'm thinking the Pacers.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think they're going to be able to the Eastern Conference Finals. I think they'll get shut down in the Eastern Conference Finals.

Speaker 4 I think the Pacers need to recruit Caitlin Clark to be their

Speaker 1 extra.

Speaker 1 Somebody will run through her. She'll She'll turn to dust.
Bro,

Speaker 1 you don't think she'd be able to hold her own? Not for us. She would put up 50.

Speaker 2 Yeah, dude, what are you talking about?

Speaker 1 She's going to have to use a regular-sized ball. I'm pretty sure the WNBA ball is smaller.
It is.

Speaker 2 That's fair.

Speaker 1 It's going to change everything.

Speaker 4 Well, everybody's entitled to their own opinion.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Ned, if you want to spew hatred on here, that's fine, dude. We're trying to talk basketball.

Speaker 1 I'm not anti-Kaitlin. I just know a bunch of dudes is going to dominate her, bro.

Speaker 2 Dude, we should let it happen once, man.

Speaker 5 See what happens.

Speaker 2 Just let's just pull a bandit. Let's see what's up, dude.

Speaker 1 Just put her in Reese, watch them both get dominated. True.

Speaker 4 See, she,

Speaker 1 then they can join forces, reunite. Or, or just

Speaker 2 like five WNBA players versus the Wolfmen in the new summer blockbusters.

Speaker 1 Maybe. I don't know.

Speaker 2 I don't know if we should do that. Guys.

Speaker 4 I don't know either, but those are the picks.

Speaker 2 That's our take, guys.

Speaker 2 So now's your chance to win real money with your best takes, whether it's points, rebounds, assists, take your pick of more or less on their stat projection for your shot to win up to 2,000 times your cash today.

Speaker 2 Prize picks is available in more than 30 states, including California, Texas, and Georgia. You can submit your picks in 60 seconds or less.
It's so easy. I'm doing it right now.
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Speaker 2 Download the app today and use code Drench to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. That's code Drench to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup.

Speaker 2 Prize picks, run your game.

Speaker 2 Guys, oh, this weekend I'll be at the crest theater sacramento california please come to that that's on friday and then on saturday i'll be in seattle washington neptune theater come to that i think they're they're close to sold out so uh please come and also 625 that's june i'll be at the improv in hollywood california and then i'm gonna be filming a special uh

Speaker 2 like four days after that in the uh where the hell is it ontario california improv so that'll be a friday and saturday or thursday Friday, Saturday. Please come to that.

Speaker 2 And Josh, you have something coming out as well, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, check out 15 for 15. It's 15 of some of my favorite jokes out of the last 15 years doing stand-up.
Putting that out on May 15th. Hell yeah.
Hell yeah. And just please come to Optimum Noctus.

Speaker 1 We're going to have, you know, me, LeMaire, Gardini. It's always fun.
We always have, I mean, Matt's dropped in the bus lady. That's just been sick.
Thank you to everybody who's come.

Speaker 1 Just please come again. Thank you.
June 6th, Optum Noctus.

Speaker 2 Hit him with a thank you, come again.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Back to the show.

Speaker 2 Now we're back to the show. What an organic, well-placed

Speaker 2 guys.

Speaker 1 Let's bring it to the chat.

Speaker 2 Bring a caller in. No, no, no, Sean.
That was, that was good instincts, man. We had a, we had a, that's exactly what I said.
I said, dude, when we start tanking in conversation,

Speaker 2 bring the bros in. And it was just like, we have the bros here.
We got to tap them in. I figured I'd go as long as we could on some current events and bullshit.

Speaker 1 You know what I'll say right now, though?

Speaker 2 Dude, I've been making my own cold brew coffee.

Speaker 2 It is so much easier than you think.

Speaker 1 You just grind. You don't need that too.
Why did not use an espresso? I hit the pods. Use an espresso.

Speaker 2 Dude, if you just get coffee, I didn't know it was this easy. You just get coffee beans, grind them on coarse.
You don't want to get too fine. He's got to filtering them out.

Speaker 2 It's like half the battle. I just grind coffee, put it in a big container of water overnight, come back.
I have a huge thing of iced coffee concentrate. Yeah.
I've been making it.

Speaker 2 It's so fucking good.

Speaker 1 This is my remainder, dude.

Speaker 4 It sounds tasty.

Speaker 2 It's so good and it's so easy to do.

Speaker 2 I've been fucking flying off this shit. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Just just crushing iced coffee cold brew and it's i don't know i love it it's easy to make you literally steep it in just a container for like 24 12 to 24 hours

Speaker 2 come back the next morning filter it out i pour it through like a mesh filter and then i do a coffee like paper filter is that about 200 milligrams after the whole sit it's after dude you have a thing of concentrate this big it's it makes like oh yeah yeah 15 cups of coffee that's hell yeah it's so easy to it's like unbelievably easy i thought i needed like an apparatus it's just mixing them together and screening out the beans.

Speaker 2 Done.

Speaker 1 My guts can't handle cold brew. It dominates me.

Speaker 1 I take a little bit of cold brew. I'm shitting.
But it's kind of a nice move if I'm like, if I'm not shitting, get some cold brew, fix all my problems.

Speaker 2 I swear to God,

Speaker 2 I'm still not addicted to nicotine at all. But I will say these shits, I like rely on it.
If I feel like I have to dump,

Speaker 2 I fucking pop one in and turbocharge.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that happens to me too.

Speaker 2 I still don't feel like it's that addictive, though. I don't feel like it's that addictive.

Speaker 1 You think it's it's going no sick, just going the pouches? It could be the pouches.

Speaker 2 It probably is because smoking, you probably, I don't know. They say people who smoke have like an oral fixation.
It's like a deeper thing.

Speaker 1 Ayo.

Speaker 1 Not me.

Speaker 2 LaMair, bust one of these bros up, man.

Speaker 2 Who are you thinking about?

Speaker 4 Oh, he's smoking right now.

Speaker 6 What's up, Ivan?

Speaker 2 We need an orally fixated man to come up on the screen right now.

Speaker 1 Look at bro in the blanket.

Speaker 2 What's popping on the chat right now the mayor uh nothing crazy yo yo ivan you're smoking inside boys what you doing man you smoking in your house

Speaker 1 yeah i'm from europe it's normal here what cool yeah just flexing smoking sigs in the house where where in europe do you live

Speaker 1 austria austria bro oh you know it i've heard of it yeah i've heard of that one yeah

Speaker 2 you guys are near polling germany you guys are near pollen and germany

Speaker 8 yeah we kind of had the history thing going.

Speaker 4 Yeah, good painting over there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. What we got a great.

Speaker 2 So we were talking Europe, and I, you know, I hopefully we didn't, you know, offend you. We're talking about like European countries, like, who gives a fuck? What's your top country?

Speaker 2 You're like, who gives it? Because Austria is a kind of rules. So, like, what's your, I'm not just saying that because you're there.
It's like, you know, I know all about it. It's kind of sick.

Speaker 2 What's one of your countries there that you're like, fuck, this country sucks?

Speaker 8 Dude, I mean,

Speaker 8 Britain, first of all.

Speaker 1 Let's go. Agreed.

Speaker 1 Why Britain?

Speaker 8 It's just pure fucking chaos. I mean, I haven't been to America, so I don't know what's up.

Speaker 1 It's the best.

Speaker 1 It's awesome.

Speaker 1 It's pretty nice.

Speaker 8 I just can't take it. I can't take the.
I don't want to get it. I just don't want to get political.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 2 dude, you're smoking a cigarette in your house.

Speaker 1 You have to get some.

Speaker 2 You look like you're cooking right now, dude. What do you, what's up with Europe? What's up with Britain, man? What's the problem with that?

Speaker 8 They're just weird with their

Speaker 8 authoritarianism.

Speaker 2 What are they doing to you guys? We're just in their own country, you're saying that's just my opinion on Britain.

Speaker 2 So, is Austria more free? Do you guys can you guys go to jail for like group texts and shit over there? Or like, what's up?

Speaker 8 No, I mean, they're trying to like get those like Trojans, like state Trojans on the phones, which is like a yearly debate. Like, every year they try to like get that stuff in.

Speaker 2 What's the Trojans on the phone?

Speaker 1 Are they like people literally listening to spyware type thing?

Speaker 8 Yeah, yeah, just basically like state spyware.

Speaker 1 That's crazy.

Speaker 8 And every hear them like, hey, how about we do this to your phones? And we're like, no.

Speaker 2 How are they trying to sell it to you guys? Is it like the threat of terrorism or like what are they using to even justify that?

Speaker 8 I think it's kind of like how you guys do it with the bills. They just sneak it in.
Yeah. Yeah.
Somebody just catches it and they're like, hold up.

Speaker 1 So it just doesn't go through. Dang.
That's fucked up.

Speaker 2 And Britain, does Britain have that already?

Speaker 8 Dude, people go to prison for praying on the street.

Speaker 2 In Britain?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What kind of prayers are they doing?

Speaker 1 Some ayla?

Speaker 4 If they're on the street, yeah, it's probably...

Speaker 8 No, no, no, no. I mean Christians.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's shit.

Speaker 2 Can't PTL on the street?

Speaker 1 It's fucked up. Damn.

Speaker 2 That sucks.

Speaker 1 That's insane. Yeah.

Speaker 8 It's crazy in Europe, actually.

Speaker 8 It's getting real, like,

Speaker 1 weird politically.

Speaker 8 Like, on the

Speaker 8 from the top down, the EU is getting way more involved and everybody has to have like a stance, even though Austria is like neutral, like Switzerland.

Speaker 8 It's getting really weird.

Speaker 1 That sucks.

Speaker 2 What a bummer, bro.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I'm sorry to hear that.

Speaker 8 Well, yeah, I mean, I guess.

Speaker 1 What are you going to do?

Speaker 4 All right. Well, Happy Mother's Day.

Speaker 1 Happy Mother's Day.

Speaker 2 Fucking Blade Runner.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right. Take it easy.
Thank you, bro. Take it easy, bro.

Speaker 4 Nice to talk to you.

Speaker 1 Damn. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Chilling is fucking.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Europe does suck now, man.

Speaker 1 I don't know what the hell.

Speaker 1 Europe's on some absolute fucking bullshit. I've never been there.

Speaker 2 Well, I've been to Ireland once, but like they were on some mega fucking bullshit.

Speaker 1 It always looks sick to me. I don't pay attention to politics, so I don't know.

Speaker 2 It's probably sick. Yeah, it's probably a sick place to be.

Speaker 1 To visit, to not live. Yeah, I don't know, man.

Speaker 2 And people who live there think it's sick, and America stinks bottom for the most part. But we don't have that shit, dude.
That's just not. We don't have Trojans on our phones.
I think.

Speaker 1 think we probably

Speaker 1 had them for a decade. Yeah, you know what Snowden got like ran for? He was like, they snowed it.
Yeah, wasn't it like you're looking at all your shit?

Speaker 2 Looking at all your stuff, and then we fucking, yeah, actually, all right, we locked that guy up in jail.

Speaker 1 We got one.

Speaker 2 Everyone's got to have one guy, one fucking guy in jail.

Speaker 1 Snowden's not in jail. Yeah, he's out now.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's out. But he was for like a day.
How long was he in jail for? Like a decade?

Speaker 1 He was in. No, he didn't go to jail.
He was.

Speaker 2 I mean, bro.

Speaker 1 I wonder if he got any hose on it. He probably got some motherfucking hoes.
Bro, holding up Christ.

Speaker 4 Probably got nice hose.

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Get another bro in here.

Speaker 2 Fucking austria talk.

Speaker 8 No fucking shot.

Speaker 1 What? Why not, dude?

Speaker 8 No chance.

Speaker 1 What? What?

Speaker 7 We saw you rapping the lord.

Speaker 1 Had to say what?

Speaker 8 Oh, gotta praise the Lord.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah. Praise God.

Speaker 8 And then a rosary in the car.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 2 Well, Lamar, let's look for people who want to chat.

Speaker 8 I'm I'm ready to chat. I'm ready to chat.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're saying no fucking what? I thought you were saying, like, I was just like excited. Oh, okay.
My bad. My bad.
What's up? You're good.

Speaker 2 I'm a little touchy. My bad.

Speaker 1 You're good. You don't want to fucking talk to me.
Don't worry about it, right?

Speaker 2 How you doing, man? Where are you living at?

Speaker 8 I'm from California. It's gay out here.
So,

Speaker 1 Drew. Well, at least you're not in Austria.

Speaker 8 I got fucked up by a fucking mosquito. Damn, this shit's fucking me up because it's mirrored.
I fucked up by a mosquito.

Speaker 1 Damn, that's a big ass skeeter, bro. What the fuck?

Speaker 8 Yeah, I got fucking raped, bro.

Speaker 1 Shit sucks.

Speaker 2 What's your beef with Cali right now?

Speaker 8 Gun laws. Our fucking government sucks.
Can't do shit.

Speaker 2 Government seems to suck all over the world.

Speaker 1 What the hell is this?

Speaker 1 There's some political unrest worldwide.

Speaker 8 Yeah, there's some political.

Speaker 2 Dang, are you SoCal or NorCal?

Speaker 8 I'm Central.

Speaker 1 Central Cal? Damn. CentCal.

Speaker 8 No one really knows about us.

Speaker 2 Yeah, what is CentCal? What's even there?

Speaker 8 It's like, I would say like Santa Maria. Have you ever heard of them?

Speaker 2 No, it's like Silicon Valley Central, kind of no, that's north, that's north.

Speaker 8 So,Cal

Speaker 8 Central California is just

Speaker 8 the central part is the whole, it's just San Luis Obispo.

Speaker 1 It's just like how far are you from like one of the big cities?

Speaker 1 Huh? How far are you from one of the big cities, like in central? Because aren't the two like north and south?

Speaker 8 Perfectly in between

Speaker 8 LA and SF.

Speaker 1 Okay, how long is that drive?

Speaker 8 Uh, like two, three hours.

Speaker 1 Or it depends on traffic.

Speaker 2 That's not bad. Seriously.
Is that what they call the Inland Empire?

Speaker 8 No, Inland Empire is just east of LA.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 8 And that's like where the crackheads, the meth, all that shit is.

Speaker 1 Sick.

Speaker 8 The Vatos.

Speaker 1 Sick.

Speaker 8 The lads. We got a lot of lads in the central.

Speaker 1 Nice.

Speaker 8 We love the lads. All my friends are lads.

Speaker 1 All my homies, lads.

Speaker 8 I'm the only honking the fucking shit.

Speaker 1 So, what do you do?

Speaker 2 What do you do?

Speaker 1 He's been muted. He muted himself.
I think he, yeah.

Speaker 4 Oh, you muted yourself, bro.

Speaker 2 You muted yourself. Well, thank you, brother.
I don't know how to fix it.

Speaker 4 Lamer does not know how to fix it.

Speaker 4 Have fun out there.

Speaker 2 Is anyone burning with a message for the world?

Speaker 1 Yeah, let's see what the people are saying.

Speaker 4 Why don't we see what the people are saying?

Speaker 2 Yeah, get some with their motherfucking hand raised, bro.

Speaker 2 He's been waiting. This guy's been waiting for a while.

Speaker 8 Oh, shit.

Speaker 2 What up, brother?

Speaker 8 What is up, bro?

Speaker 2 Is that red lights on your room on your ceiling?

Speaker 8 Yeah, it's my living room. Yeah.

Speaker 1 How'd you get it set up like that?

Speaker 8 Me and my fucking fiancé.

Speaker 1 I knew that was girl stuff.

Speaker 1 My girl.

Speaker 1 My girl just fucking made us do the like asked me because I got us on the TV to put the light behind it, like that ambient. Yeah, like that same shit.
Girls love light

Speaker 4 now. Who told you about that?

Speaker 1 That's kind of sick. I like that.

Speaker 8 Yeah, it took like way longer than you think. It took like an hour and a half.

Speaker 2 Is that an LED strip or are you guys like uplighting that whole situation?

Speaker 5 No, dude, we're poor.

Speaker 1 It's an LED strip for sure.

Speaker 2 That's fucking nice, man.

Speaker 1 It's cool. Yeah, I guess.

Speaker 8 Thank you, though.

Speaker 2 So, what are you doing, bro? What's your deal?

Speaker 8 Dude, I'm fucking, I'm being a bum today. I called out of work and I'm fucking just sitting at home doing nothing.

Speaker 1 Seriously, good for you, man.

Speaker 2 You two you took today. You said, look, I've had enough of this shit.
I'm taking the day off.

Speaker 8 Yeah, my job's kind of bullshit. I sit around and do nothing.
So I was like, you don't really need me there. Nothing's going to change if I don't come in.
So they don't care. They're like, whatever.

Speaker 8 Take your day off.

Speaker 1 That's so sad.

Speaker 2 What do you do in your free time when you get freed from, you know?

Speaker 8 Fuck, dude. Me and my fiancé are nerds.
So, like,

Speaker 8 we just sit at home and fucking watch TV and play video games, to be honest, and like smoke weed. That's about it.

Speaker 1 What you gaming on?

Speaker 2 It's kind of awesome.

Speaker 8 He's gaming on Baldur's Gate 3 right now.

Speaker 5 Bro,

Speaker 8 he's been playing a lot of Kingdom Come 2.

Speaker 1 That game's pretty cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what I've been playing right now. Kingdom Come is the shit.
I can, I'm not, I could talk about that the whole time. I won't do it,

Speaker 8 yeah, I won't nerd out, but yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1 That's like a World War II game, not like uh, like uh, like medieval. I think that yeah, yeah, yeah, and you like

Speaker 1 super hyper-realistic, like you have to forge your own weapon to like hammer out a sword. It's it seems like it would be dumb as hell, but it's fire.
Damn, no, that dude,

Speaker 8 you can you had to learn how to read. It was

Speaker 1 you can bed winches. It's pretty nice.

Speaker 2 If I were to be able to choose a form of autism or something that put me in a different realm, I'd go purely medieval.

Speaker 1 Well, just wear a suit of armor.

Speaker 2 Just get into that whole thing. Just rent a side.
Just strict hierarchy.

Speaker 4 James from Love on the Spectrum. Yeah, basically.

Speaker 8 I fucking. You can be a jester, bro, or something cool.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I love medieval times. Damn, so are you a lone knight wandering the...

Speaker 1 You're a blacksmith's son that's like working his way from the bottom to the top.

Speaker 2 Co-pirates of the Caribbean, actually.

Speaker 2 You start as like a peasant.

Speaker 1 In the first one, you're a peasant, and then you work your way up to being like you got

Speaker 1 you're working with royalty.

Speaker 1 You're still not royalty or not a noble. I know what you mean.
Yeah, but you're, but they fuck with you. And then the second one starts off.
A bunch of chaos ensues. They steal all your shit.

Speaker 1 So that's how they get you to start from ground one. Like you and your whole crew get, I mean, I don't want your crew gets butt fucked at the beginning of the game.

Speaker 1 You only survive because you were being horny with your bro. Like, you and one of your bros sneak away to go look at ladies take baths.
Whole squad gets murdered while they're doing that. What?

Speaker 1 It's exactly that. That's how they gave you a bad.

Speaker 4 Yeah, that's some type of shit I would do.

Speaker 2 Where do these women take the baths?

Speaker 1 Just lake lake bath. Oh,

Speaker 1 you were camping on the side of the road, hearing some. Yeah,

Speaker 2 I mean, I'd be scuba Steve, dude.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the snoco.

Speaker 2 I'm into that. That would be, man, that'd be awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that game's sick. Both of those games are sick.

Speaker 2 I'm saving my gaming. I think when I retire, I think I'll get way into gaming, bro.
That'd be so nice.

Speaker 1 What if your kids get in the game? You think that could get you in?

Speaker 1 Oh, big time.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I'd be gaming hard.

Speaker 4 You're approaching like Mario Kart age.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I am. Mario Party.
So Mario Party.

Speaker 2 That'd be nice. We have the dance game.
Oh, hell.

Speaker 2 It was like an old Xbox Connect where, like, it should.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's pretty sick.

Speaker 1 Man, the best party family game used to be a rock band. Hit a full rock band or guitar hair war tour.
That was the one I fucked with. Was Guitar Hill War.

Speaker 2 Actually, that's a good call. I could get into some Mario Kart.
Five is old enough for Mario Kart.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for sure. Yeah.

Speaker 2 But I can't not smash them.

Speaker 2 I'm going to smash her in Dart.

Speaker 1 One day they'll figure it out. So that's what happens.
The kids get nice quick. Yeah.

Speaker 2 That's true. I still got all that neuroplasticity going on

Speaker 2 yeah that would suck if she beats me i'll be i'll throw it out

Speaker 1 no more videos you're a fucking cheater

Speaker 1 i'm leaving

Speaker 2 dude control catching your dad controller smash would be

Speaker 2 fucked up that'd be so bad to see

Speaker 1 i'd be pretty happy i think honestly your dad controller smashed my dad controller smash i would be like that's i am his son true yeah

Speaker 2 My friend used to, the PlayStation, pull back when everything had the cord to the thing. Yeah.

Speaker 2 If he, if his little brother would beat him, he would pull the cord out of the PlayStation and whip him with the cord.

Speaker 1 Just

Speaker 2 whoop his ass.

Speaker 2 He just start whipping him. It was a pure spaz.

Speaker 1 That's a bad losing attitude. It was a bad losing attitude.

Speaker 2 Are you the who's a better gamer in your guys' relationship if you and your wife go toe-to-toe?

Speaker 8 Oh, dude, me.

Speaker 1 Come on. What do you think you're looking at?

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 4 True. Imagine the shame, though.

Speaker 2 Losing?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Losing to a girl in Vidgus.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Do you ever...

Speaker 1 Most of the games me and my lady play are cooperative, and she's never carrying the most weight. So it's we're cool.
I see. Cool on that now.

Speaker 2 She plays with you?

Speaker 1 Yeah, she plays like the Baldur's Gate. We play Baldur's Gate.
What he was saying, his lady plays. That shit was sick.

Speaker 1 Playing Borderlands 3, the old drawing right now.

Speaker 2 Does it get like when you're playing video games? If, forgive me for asking if this is like kind of personal, do you guys like, is it like a horny-making thing, or is that just like the porn stuff?

Speaker 1 It can be a little bit of both. Hold on, here we go.

Speaker 8 Boulder D3 is fucking horny as hell.

Speaker 1 What is it? Is it smut? It's like, I mean, you can literally fuck the other people in your group. You can't, but you can't.
But the thing that's left is... You guys are swinging on RPM.

Speaker 2 My girl did the respectful thing, though.

Speaker 7 She only made her character fuck the ladies.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, she didn't do no. She did no.

Speaker 1 I was like, that's a nice. She didn't catch any Baldur's Gate pipe? No, Burton's Baldur's Gate pipe.

Speaker 4 Would you get mad if she did, though?

Speaker 1 Out of spat.

Speaker 1 I would have been mad, too.

Speaker 4 I always forget that girls are allowed to play video games.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 1 I think, like, I don't know. I know what you mean.

Speaker 2 When I hear their gaming, I'm always like, interesting.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm like, what? Was your girl into gaming before you, or did you get her into it?

Speaker 8 Turned her out.

Speaker 8 Like, slightly. Her dad would play like Call of Duty Black Ops Zombies.

Speaker 1 And she's like, what is this?

Speaker 8 So, not really, but definitely now that we're together a lot more.

Speaker 1 That's what happened.

Speaker 5 I think I put the bug in there.

Speaker 5 Nice.

Speaker 2 She might have been bug chasing.

Speaker 2 Well, dude, thank you, man. I'm glad you got the day off the game and just kind of where's it and bait and your bae's at work?

Speaker 8 Yeah, babe went to work today.

Speaker 1 Sick.

Speaker 1 Awesome.

Speaker 2 How does she take it when you're like, I'm calling out today?

Speaker 8 I'm pretty good. I think I only call out like three or four times a year.
So when I said it, she's like, really? She looks at me like puzzled. So she doesn't care.

Speaker 2 She'd be like, My dick hurts.

Speaker 1 Well, that's awesome, man. Thanks.

Speaker 2 I fucking, I love it, dude. I think your place looks sick as hell.

Speaker 4 Yeah, nice setups, nice nice setups.

Speaker 8 Thank you so much. I appreciate you guys letting me on, dude.
This is badass talking to you.

Speaker 2 Can I ask you a question? I appreciate you.

Speaker 8 Of course, Matt. You can always ask me a question.

Speaker 2 How soon after your babe left for work did you

Speaker 2 fap it up for yourself?

Speaker 8 See,

Speaker 2 I don't know. Maybe like an hour and a half.

Speaker 1 That's good. That's actually

Speaker 4 three minutes too.

Speaker 2 As soon as I hear the deadbolt click, I'm running to the front window like a dog, watching the car walk, go away.

Speaker 2 And it's a full volume fab session.

Speaker 7 No headphones, just straight blasting little.

Speaker 2 Straight blasting.

Speaker 2 I'm getting the accused goes.

Speaker 2 You're a man of honor. Clearly, you've been playing your fucking game.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Absolutely.
Well, dude, thank you, man. Nice to talk to you.

Speaker 8 You always, guys. Thank you.

Speaker 4 See you later.

Speaker 2 Here we go. Here we go.

Speaker 1 Pick it up, Steam on the stream.

Speaker 1 The bros always break some good shit.

Speaker 2 Nothing against the Austrian, but damn, that was a fucking mood. That was a fucking mood shift.

Speaker 1 That dude kind of crushed them out.

Speaker 2 She followed a shitty fucking first 20 minutes with a shitty ad into.

Speaker 2 I mean, ad from the user experience perspective. Obviously, I fucking love it.
I love our partners. But the.

Speaker 1 You want to talk to a lady? There's a lady.

Speaker 2 Okay, LeMaire, you fucking horn dog.

Speaker 2 Fine, Le Maire. Let's actually see what she's up to.

Speaker 4 It's going to be that guy's girlfriend.

Speaker 2 True. I'm at work.

Speaker 4 I know my boyfriend's beating up.

Speaker 2 She's in a hotel room just catching Baldur's Gate pipes.

Speaker 2 So you can fuck in this game.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 They got whole fucks eats.

Speaker 1 Hello. Oh, you.

Speaker 9 What's up? Be cool, guys.

Speaker 2 Act Natural.

Speaker 1 Hey, hey, what's going on?

Speaker 4 What's happening? Nothing. Just chilling.

Speaker 1 You're always in the Zoom chat.

Speaker 4 Gotta work out in.

Speaker 9 Yeah, I've been trying to be. You guys are freaking awesome.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 Where are you off to?

Speaker 9 I am doing route for my lab. I make dentures.

Speaker 1 What? Oh, shit.

Speaker 2 Dentures. You dropping off biohazards and stuff?

Speaker 9 No, dentures.

Speaker 1 Just like molds. Molds and things.

Speaker 2 I thought you said lab. What are you taking?

Speaker 2 So what are you doing exactly?

Speaker 1 Dropping teeth off the bees?

Speaker 1 It's ruining old men's days.

Speaker 9 Somebody called in with a tooth that fell out of their upper denture.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're going to go. I had to pick it up.

Speaker 9 Well, I already did. Now I'm dropping it off.

Speaker 1 You just have a tooth?

Speaker 1 Yeah, here. Hold on.
Let me see.

Speaker 2 You have an old man's fake tooth?

Speaker 9 I got an old man's whole upper denture.

Speaker 1 Damn.

Speaker 1 Pop it in.

Speaker 1 Damn,

Speaker 1 damn. Yeah.

Speaker 4 My grandpa used to have those and he would pop them out and scare us when we were little.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's terrible. My dad has them now.
They fell out his mouth onto my nephew's head when my nephew was like nine. He started squeezing us with nuts.

Speaker 9 We get a lot of them where the dogs get a hold of them.

Speaker 1 Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 9 Yeah, they love the smell of nasty mouth.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true. It's got food residue.

Speaker 2 Dogs are freaky, dude.

Speaker 1 Dogs are freaky. Freak ass and eat your fucking dentists.

Speaker 2 Hey, well, dude, good luck on your quest. That's actually kind of sick.
So you just roll up and then the guy, what is that like rolling up on the house? It's just a guy like,

Speaker 1 and you're like, give me your.

Speaker 9 No, I don't go to a house.

Speaker 1 We go. You guys go to a Walmart parking lot? Oh, really?

Speaker 2 I thought he just pulls up to the Walmart parking lot. He's like, all right, here's my fucking.

Speaker 1 So they go to the dentist.

Speaker 2 You go to the dentist. And what are you going to do? Like, how do you do that? If they're falling out, what's the move?

Speaker 2 You refit them or like, what do you do?

Speaker 9 No,

Speaker 9 we make a matrix out of putty and we just kind of put it back in place and it's just acrylic.

Speaker 2 But you, how are you going to keep it from falling out of this guy's fucking mouth again?

Speaker 9 We put a hole into the back of the tooth and the acrylic flows into it so it holds it pretty good.

Speaker 2 Oh, just as

Speaker 1 right, right, right. His tooth fell out.
That makes sense.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's double devastating. Even your fake teeth can't stay on your head.

Speaker 1 God, fucking you.

Speaker 2 How much does a set of fake teeth cost?

Speaker 2 What do they go for? I heard they're kind of expensive.

Speaker 8 Oh, they're expensive as hell.

Speaker 9 Probably like a range between like $1,500.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 For the whole set.

Speaker 2 How many teeth are in the human head?

Speaker 2 Can you answer me that?

Speaker 9 Oh, dude. You're going to really do matt and make me do that?

Speaker 2 32.

Speaker 1 How many teeth are there?

Speaker 9 No idea. No, there's more than that.

Speaker 1 I don't know. My mom's dreaming so mad that I don't know this.

Speaker 1 It's all good.

Speaker 9 Me and my mom run the business together.

Speaker 1 Do you really?

Speaker 1 God, that's such a sick fucking question. She's the expert.

Speaker 2 Is she an orthodontist or purely like a teeth salesman, sales lady?

Speaker 9 just she's she's just been in the venture business for about like 28 years that's just learned

Speaker 9 yeah she never went to school for any of it she just uh learned it learned it now she's trying to teach me and i'm a pothead that doesn't know how to learn so

Speaker 2 well dude thank you for calling in that's very sick hopefully that guy gets his fucking teeth back

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 2 does he have a backup set or is he just at home just fucking like

Speaker 9 well this only took like about an hour, so he's probably just chilling somewhere waiting to eat.

Speaker 1 He's probably just sucking somebody.

Speaker 2 Do you ever like? Oh, so you don't even get to see the old people. You're just straight to your B2B sales, right to the dentist.

Speaker 9 Yeah, we're technically, we're not allowed to work with the public because it's technically illegal. So we have to go through like a referral with the dentist.

Speaker 2 That's some dentistry bullshit, bro. That's them hot.
Those guys are the greedy.

Speaker 4 I really don't like dentists. They're basically car mechanics to me.

Speaker 1 Electronic lip choice.

Speaker 2 Yeah, those guys, man, they really do. And then with the fucking orthodontist, they're thick as thieves.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. Go to the dentist.

Speaker 2 They're like, you need braces. He told my dad my dad needed braces.

Speaker 5 My dad freaked out.

Speaker 1 He called me a nerd. I'm 55.

Speaker 2 I'm 55 years old. What the fuck do I want braces for?

Speaker 1 You think I give a shit what my teeth look like? I think it was this.

Speaker 2 My dad thought that was gay. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's like, I'm going to be gay.

Speaker 1 That is a wild thing to say for a 55-year-old man. That is crazy.
I got six kids.

Speaker 1 Braces?

Speaker 2 Well, thank you, man. Good luck in the teeth sales.

Speaker 1 I like that, man. Yeah, that's the next hustle.

Speaker 1 Thank you. So long.

Speaker 9 Thank you guys for picking me.

Speaker 1 Yo, you roll.

Speaker 4 You too. You roll.
Have a nice day.

Speaker 1 Peace.

Speaker 2 Get one of these motherfucking bros. Now we're ripping.
Why do we even try to? We did the same thing last time. We tried to do a podcast and it's impossible.

Speaker 2 I'm just staring at the bros. I'm like, they're not laughing.
Fuck. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Seeing the bros.

Speaker 2 Seeing the bros, just straight face, your best effort is going.

Speaker 1 I was watching somebody munch.

Speaker 6 There's a guy playing Oblivion. Do you want to to talk to the guy who's having fertility issues?

Speaker 1 Yes, please. Yes.
That's the guy who's tracking a LeMaire pose.

Speaker 1 You saw it. Let's go.
Fertility issue. Let's go.
Let me pee real quick.

Speaker 4 Now we can say whatever the hell we want.

Speaker 1 All right, boys. What's up? What up? We got to hold it, man.
What up? Hold it for a second.

Speaker 1 Wait, hold what?

Speaker 1 Hold what? That's why you got to hold it, brother. I'll just hold it.
Hold the question. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I got to hold the question.

Speaker 8 I got to wait, you mean.

Speaker 1 Yeah, match the speech.

Speaker 4 We got to chop it up for a little.

Speaker 1 Where are you from, man?

Speaker 4 I'm noticing an accent.

Speaker 8 Yeah, man. This is Europe.
Like,

Speaker 8 I mean, I love you, bro, but the whole sort of getting it down, dark room, smoking indoors isn't the vibe in Europe.

Speaker 1 We got sun, we got

Speaker 1 bare feet on the fucking.

Speaker 8 This is fine. Girl's about to come home.
She's gonna cook dinner. This is this life is great in Europe, boys.

Speaker 1 Where is Europe? Where at in Europe are you?

Speaker 8 Netherlands, man.

Speaker 1 Rotterdam.

Speaker 8 The other big city in

Speaker 8 near Amsterdam.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that sounds awesome.

Speaker 8 But yeah, I wanted to chop it up.

Speaker 1 What's the lady going to make for dinner?

Speaker 1 You got her and they're going to work on.

Speaker 8 Could be anything, honestly.

Speaker 1 I don't get involved in that.

Speaker 1 I just trust what comes to the table. I don't trust you.
Exactly. Exactly.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Probably some weird fish.

Speaker 1 Some weird fish. What happened?

Speaker 1 No, that was a stray from Roma.

Speaker 1 What's Romer saying?

Speaker 2 He insulted his culture.

Speaker 1 He insulted his culture.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Matt. what do you do?

Speaker 8 He asked me what I was going to have for dinner, and he said I was going to have some weird fish.

Speaker 1 His brother,

Speaker 1 where is he from? Yeah, Rotterdam.

Speaker 8 Rotterdam in the Netherlands, bro. It's some good European, sunny vibes up in here.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 LeMaire's bringing his fucking hatred.

Speaker 1 Exactly. He's trying to get the GoFundMe money.
I get it. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can I ask you what? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 8 Yeah. I wanted to ask a question.
So today I've been...

Speaker 8 My girlfriend and I, we've been trying to get kids. It hasn't been the easiest.
So we've been doing IVF. I don't know if any of you are familiar

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 8 yeah so the thing now is that um

Speaker 8 like this is europe so socialized healthcare so you just get a doctor assigned to you basically and you go through the whole thing but i gotta be honest my girl's aging a bit so we gotta go private now we're gonna

Speaker 8 like pay a lot of money for it to get it done bro what is it like to be a dad and what it like how do i deal with the fear of maybe not becoming a dad but still like marrying the girl of like the love of my life like how do you, how do you balance those things?

Speaker 8 It's a serious question, but I just wanted to ask it.

Speaker 2 You're asking if it's worth the money to have a kid.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no, it's worth the money.

Speaker 8 Bro, is it? Is it worth the money?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'd say, but then you gotta, she isn't home yet.

Speaker 1 Keep an eye on that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, looking by me, bro.

Speaker 1 Do you mind me asking how much

Speaker 1 they want?

Speaker 8 It's not that much, actually. We're thinking of going to Spain.
It's like

Speaker 8 probably, it's like probably like seven, 8K-ish, but that's like one treatment, and you can have up to three treatments. So it could easily, like Andrew Schultz talked about it in his, in his special.

Speaker 8 He was like,

Speaker 8 it was 30K for him, which is probably what it'll cost in the end.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, in the grand scheme of things, yeah, I could see that. So what is

Speaker 2 the

Speaker 8 question is, well, the process is like what they do is they basically...

Speaker 8 It's kind of, it kind of sucks it in a way. They pump your babe full of hormones so they get like uber pregnant or like they get like uber ready for pregnancy

Speaker 1 and then they might get stamped

Speaker 1 bro

Speaker 8 so they they basically and then they go in with like i mean i don't want to get too descriptive because there's there might be some kids in here i don't know uh but like the

Speaker 8 but what they do is they basically um they then suck out the eggs and then they then i have to like go into a room and

Speaker 8 i mean you don't want to to look at porn, but you sort of do because you got to wag one out. And then basically they put one and two together.
And then you get a kid out of it.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 8 And then they put that back, basically. That's the whole thing.

Speaker 8 So they make a bunch of embryos, a bunch of kids, and then they put them back one by one, usually.

Speaker 1 How long have you guys been trying for?

Speaker 8 Bro, we've had four miscarriages, man.

Speaker 1 Oh, right, right, all right.

Speaker 8 Sorry to hear that. Yeah, that's, yeah, actually, we had our last one Saturday.
That's the,

Speaker 8 so that's that's the reason we're now like I've been phoning clinics all day, but like since they're based abroad, like for me, they're they're abroad, so uh it's like it's like phoning a bunch of Spanish ladies, not all of them can talk English, so it's been

Speaker 8 difficult. We don't get taught, yeah, exactly.
I thought so. Like we don't get taught Spanish in school, so it's terrible.

Speaker 4 Anyway, it's very funny that he's had a horrible thing happen to him four days ago and he's still in so much better spirits than the other Europeans.

Speaker 1 i know that's what i mean

Speaker 1 look true this is what this dude smelled a cigarette look at this oh look at this

Speaker 2 so to answer your question your original question yeah man if you guys are trying already and i'm guessing pay wants a kid obviously you have to you kind of have to go through it you know what i mean i i would say because if you just now spend all the money right yeah you got it man i i would do it because it's like it'll be sick once you have a kid it'll be awesome and you can't like if you try and then just say like yeah you know fuck it let's just not do this it's it's gonna be she'll probably be very sad so that too but like do like is it like is fatherhood worth it is my last question about this is it worth it or is it overhyped no i mean that'd be sad if i was like yeah it's fucking over hyped it sucks it's sick it's oh it could be it could be i think it all depends on the person there's definitely dads that are like this is way overhyped i'm going to leave this kid

Speaker 1 So, yeah, no, that sucks.

Speaker 8 My childhood sucked. So, I want to have a good childhood for this kid.
So, I'll make sure of that. But, like, the whole process, like the pain, like the hormones, everything.

Speaker 8 Like, I was wondering if it was overhyped. Could be that you could be honest and say, well, this kind of sucks.
But

Speaker 2 I mean, it's frustrating. It's very difficult.
It's like an all-encompassing time suck, but I think it's awesome. I just to give you, like, last night I was sitting there.

Speaker 2 I was putting my kids to bed, like, you know, three and five. And we do a thing every night.
We lay on the floor. It's called camp.

Speaker 2 We camp first before they get into bed because I gotta like, if I put them right into bed, they're like, I don't want to go to sleep. So I'm like, let's camp.
We lay on the floor. I make up stories.

Speaker 2 I had a, and even now too, with making up stories, you can use chat GBT, which again, some people are like, don't fucking use that.

Speaker 1 Because yesterday I was sitting there.

Speaker 1 No, dude, I'm telling you.

Speaker 8 You got to use your fantasy. You have a fantasy.
I do.

Speaker 2 I tell them stories from the dome all the time. But last night, my, it was actually yesterday during the day.
My, my five-year-old was like, dad, what did goblin fart smell like?

Speaker 1 I was like, I don't know, probably pretty bad.

Speaker 2 And she, she's always like, ask your phone, like, ask your phone. What, like, what, what color does it make if you mix fucking green and purple? And, you know, all these questions.

Speaker 2 I asked Google, like, what colors that make? And then yesterday, I was like, I wasn't getting a question. I asked Chap GBT, like, what, what does it smell like? How bad are goblin farts?

Speaker 2 And it was like... gave me a very in-depth answer and I was like, would you like a story about a goblin farting? And it gave me the sickest story about like a goblin army.

Speaker 1 There's humans on the edge being like, my wood, what does this smell?

Speaker 2 it was just fun what did they smell like what did they smell like it was like a highly sulfurous smell mixed with like the flesh of nude it was it was pretty in-depth but then so either way so like that was just a sidebar but then so we're laying there we're doing camping at nighttime i'm there with my kids and like i'm like putting them both to bed we're laying there i'm i'm i was just telling them stories off the cuff i had to do a story about fairies for maya then i do a story about mermaids for chloe and they need to be put in the story if you tell them a story and they're like yeah but where are we in this it's like all right fucking you guys are there too you're fucking there.

Speaker 2 And then so like my oldest falls asleep. I finished the mermaid story and I like just kind of like pet my, I was like, all right, you got to get into bed.

Speaker 2 I put the three-year-old into bed and she just reached back and just kissed my arm. And I was just like, oh, I just melted.

Speaker 2 I will say a little kid, like, right before they go to bed, just like giving you a little sweet peck on the arm after you hit the mermaid tail.

Speaker 2 It was so sweet. I'm still spinning off.
It's like the best, honestly, probably the best feeling in the world.

Speaker 8 Bro, and that, and that's the thing I'm looking for.

Speaker 8 Like, like, shout out le maire but she's probably gonna make some weird fish uh but i i like i like truth be told like i don't i i like she would be the greatest mom ever like so the all everything everything is perfect but it's just the the process of getting a kid like if it would it would be as simple as it normally is it would be great anyway but um yeah that's a minor story that you told me that that that's just that's the thing that that's worth a million that's the that's worth more than 30 grand that's worth a million if you if you can pay it If you can swing it, do it.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? I understand if you're like, bro, I literally can't swing that. Totally fair.

Speaker 5 But if you can swing it, yeah.

Speaker 2 Cause otherwise, the cool thing about once you have kids, you're like, holy fuck, like you have so much free time before you have kids, but you can't appreciate it.

Speaker 2 You're just like sitting around like, oh, I'm kind of bored. What should I do today?

Speaker 1 That's how at least that's how I was. That's how I was.

Speaker 2 And then you have kids and you have like fucking no free time anymore. So then when you get those little slivers of free time, it's like, it is truly amazing.
And it's something to like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 It's it's like something to really pour your time and energy into, which otherwise will just get sucked into like funding, funding, fucking hatred, go fund me.

Speaker 2 So, I would say it's one of the best things in the world, it gives your life a lot of meaning if you do it properly, or you can get into like negative parenting mode, which is like this sucks.

Speaker 1 And you can do that whole trip, but right, it fucking rules.

Speaker 2 I think it's awesome. It's very hard.
Josh, what do you think? Josh has fucking three kids,

Speaker 1 it's great, but it is a little bit like torture. Like, uh,

Speaker 2 it is torture. Yeah, it's tedious.

Speaker 8 But it's loving torture, right, John. It's tedious.
It's loving torture. No, it's torture.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just regular.

Speaker 1 What's it called where they just drop the water? Drip, yes, Chinese drip thing.

Speaker 4 Chinese water torture.

Speaker 1 Chinese water torture.

Speaker 8 Death by a thousand paper cuts is what you mean.

Speaker 2 It's like by a,

Speaker 2 it is torturous in the aspect of like you're in bed. It's 8.15.
Usually they fall asleep by 8.15, 8.30. One of them's got a nap that was a little long.

Speaker 2 So now you're like, this motherfucker might stay up till 9 o'clock. And you just, you're like, every day, you're like, like, they go to bed, and it is a sweet feeling.
You're like,

Speaker 2 fucking finally, they're sleeping. And you have this little bit of free time.

Speaker 2 But when they eat into that free time by not going to bed, every minute of that is genuinely torture, just being like, come on. But I just lay on the floor.

Speaker 2 I lay on the floor in the room and I just slowly, I'm like, come on, you got to go to bed. And then like, I just use that as time to kind of like meditate.

Speaker 2 And I just kind of lay there quietly and just chill. And then, because otherwise, every time they're like, can I have some water?

Speaker 1 You're like, motherfucker.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 Bro, I got,

Speaker 8 two cats. I have two cats.
I sort of know what that feeling's like, but the only problem is they don't talk back and they scratch really hard. I hope kids don't do that, but we'll find out.

Speaker 1 I hope. We'll find out.

Speaker 8 I don't want to take any more of your time because there's probably other bros that want to.

Speaker 2 That's a great question. I would say definitely do it.
And like, yeah, in the whole process of it, it's like you just got to get them in there. It doesn't matter how you do it.
Get them in there.

Speaker 8 Exactly. And just fucking do it.
Exactly.

Speaker 8 Some laboratory shit and we'll get it done.

Speaker 1 Shove the money over to the Spanish people to get me back.

Speaker 1 Spanish

Speaker 1 Send it to those Spanish brujas.

Speaker 8 Honestly, honestly, I would almost, I was about to shout out the fertility clinic because some of the doctors they have are way too fine.

Speaker 8 And I haven't told my bisexual girlfriend yet because the headshots are way too great, but whatever.

Speaker 1 I'll leave it at that. I'll leave it at that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's stay to the poor and just like get one of these doctors in here to fucking JOI me.

Speaker 1 I'm not doing that. No, no, no, no, that's that's too much.
That's too much. Yeah, that might be a lot of fun.

Speaker 2 You have, I mean, you'll be at dawn. You can hold them at dawn point and be like, no, jizz.

Speaker 1 You guys won't be business.

Speaker 2 I need the science to work effectively.

Speaker 8 I do need the science to work effectively. I don't know if I'm going to do it that way, though.

Speaker 1 Well, best of luck, friend. Yeah, best of luck, bro.
Thank you. That's my

Speaker 1 good one. Bye-bye.
Thank you, man. Bye-bye.
Hello, everybody.

Speaker 4 This is the end of the regular episode. Join us on Patreon if you want to hear the rest of the Zoom Jam.

Speaker 4 Have a great rest of your week. Goodbye.

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