Ep 555 - Roundball Rock (feat. Steve Gerben)

Speaker 1 The wild wild west.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 Okay, let's go. Yeah, did you see the Terrence Howard thing where he talked about how the man's like

Speaker 1 kind of center of structural integrity is his butthole? And he claims P. Diddy was trying to compromise him and make him fluid.

Speaker 1 Say, once you get, he's like, once you compromise your center of integrity, which is your butthole, you become fluid and like nothing, you get all fucked up.

Speaker 1 Center of not physical integrity. Oh, man.
Your manhood is. Actual integrity.
Yeah, Yeah, he's a mathematician.

Speaker 1 So he was saying, like, you're like the geometry, like, the underpinning of your structural manhood is your butthole.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, yeah.
But it's also, it's mental, too. The center of gravity, he thinks, is your butthole.
It's your butthole. And once you.
Which, by the way, I can't prove him wrong.

Speaker 1 It's something to it. It sounds like he's right again.
He was.

Speaker 1 Terrence Howard, mathematician.

Speaker 1 Hustle and flow. Oh,

Speaker 1 oh, oh.

Speaker 1 Oh, boy. A hustle and flow guy that's now a super genius.
Okay. He claims, Diddy, went for his b-hole

Speaker 1 under like the thing of like lessons. He was giving him like, you know, acting lessons.
He said Diddy was just like looking at him wrong. He's like, this guy's trying to fuck my ass.

Speaker 1 Take away the geometry of my manhood.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 what do you think about that? Nightmare story to have to listen to.

Speaker 1 Same to you.

Speaker 1 You don't think he went for Terrence Howard's butthole? But it doesn't sound like it sounds like Terrence Howard thinks that he

Speaker 1 wanted to. He might have.
But if there's anybody out there that might have wanted to, I would say Diddy's a prime suspect.

Speaker 1 I can't follow what's going on because it sounds a lot of people saying he tried to fuck him in the ass. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But if

Speaker 1 free Diddy, there's a lot of rumors going around that Diddy's trying to destroy men's structural integrity. I understand those rumors.

Speaker 1 It sounded like the way that the story was being told was that Terrence Howard

Speaker 1 assumed it. Right, assumed it.
Yeah. Well, he had like a assistant that he was like, What's up with him? He's like, Oh, diddy's trying to fuck you.

Speaker 1 So his assistant was the one who told him, like, yo, this is what

Speaker 1 Mr. Bentley, or what was that guy?

Speaker 1 It just gets more complicated. Fondsworth Bentley.

Speaker 1 He's like, my boss is trying to fuck your ass. Get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 Run. Go now.

Speaker 1 That's a fair point, though. Maybe he wasn't trying to fuck his ass.

Speaker 1 Do you think if someone gets their ass? Do you think if someone gets their ass fucked, it does compromise their manhood from a like it to where it like affects your posture and shit.

Speaker 1 Like you move differently after that. Do I think that no.
Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no. Do you have any proof? I have

Speaker 1 a counter argument. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Gay guys walk different.

Speaker 1 It's true. I think it actually helps your structural integrity.
The posture goes way up. Yeah.
Once you get far from it.

Speaker 1 True, you just you start wearing that sweater vest differently. Yeah.
It starts looking way different on you.

Speaker 1 We had a thing in grade school that, like, if like, do you ever have it with like kids where it's like, yo, a lady's walking, like, if a lady walked a certain way, like, she had sex before.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. We would just do it with all the moms, like, yo, like, all the moms special lunch, like, yo, she definitely had sex before.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you walk your feet a little bit more apart, that's all you can tell a girl had sex.

Speaker 1 Once again, these are tough to refute. I, dude, I kind of hold to it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If

Speaker 1 If I see a woman go

Speaker 1 anywhere near shoulder width apart, I'm going, what the fuck? What the fuck are you doing?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sluts. Your mom's here to help with pizza lunch.
Like, yo, your mom got fucked, dude.

Speaker 1 Speaking of sluts, how about the space slots? Dude,

Speaker 1 how did I not know about that? I don't know. I think I saw it this morning, and it's been bothering me.
Yeah, that's affected me a lot.

Speaker 1 Also, Bezos, for all of that work, he just looks like a trash man he has like the body of like a throne

Speaker 1 he's on like billions of dollars of trt and gene therapy just to become a wop

Speaker 1 he's transformed he's he's fully just a guy at wawa i know that's all he is that might have been the biggest attempt to get rid of your your wife ever yeah just being like i built a spaceship i'm gonna launch you up there

Speaker 1 yeah man with gail king

Speaker 1 yeah and it's fucked up because he'd have another another wife pretty fast. If he blew his wife up in outer space, he'd have a wife before the rubble hit earth.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sending your wife in outer space is crazy.

Speaker 1 But yeah, dude, I don't know. He needs to tighten up his program.

Speaker 1 He was probably bummed out when he saw that thing landing. Yeah.
Fuck, I was almost out of that one.

Speaker 1 It's also annoying because then that hits like girl consciousness. Like, man, I want to get out of space.
And you're like, dude, you'll never go to fucking. Jeff took his wife to outer space.

Speaker 1 She had a lunch with him.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I don't like this thing of sending ladies to space at all. It's also not historic.
It's not like a historical.

Speaker 1 It's not. You did say that.
Yeah, they sent a fucking chimp. The Russians said chimpanzees.

Speaker 1 Sorry, ladies, you guys missed the fucking boat. What is that dog's name?

Speaker 1 It was like L.

Speaker 1 Fuck, I know that dog. Starts with an L.
The Russian dog. What's that dog's name?

Speaker 1 The dog that went to space? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Lake? Lake.

Speaker 1 Space bug? Lake.

Speaker 1 Space doll. Space dog.
The doll with the space on it.

Speaker 1 It's also sad that they went to space and just did like Instagram. Yeah.
They're sitting there going like Katie Perry is standing in front of a camera instead of looking out at the universe. Yeah.

Speaker 1 She's like, it's not about me. And then she's up in space, literally staring directly into a camera.
I know.

Speaker 1 Especially once you say it's not about me, like for the fifth time, it's like, all right, it might actually be all about you. She's singing up there.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she got up there and sang,

Speaker 1 what a wonderful world.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's

Speaker 1 good.

Speaker 1 That's what we need. Although, what kind of, is that like, is that trending on Twitter right now? That song? Yeah, no, I'm saying just like going to space.

Speaker 1 The fact that they went to space is like, yeah, I think it was pretty big. It's pretty big.
Yeah, and I think people are more just they have our opinion about it. Yeah, that stunks.

Speaker 1 They're like, that stinks.

Speaker 1 That sucked that we did that. Yeah, and it also, yeah, just to be like, we're going to go to space just to like, for a movement for women to take up more space.

Speaker 1 It's like, dude, did you ever live with a woman? They fucking, they're doing all right. Yeah.
In terms of occupying. Space is instantly theirs.
Yeah. They're taking up space already.

Speaker 1 It's like living with a mayor.

Speaker 1 He goes, oh, the office is my room now.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Well, it's just not even a cause. It's not a real cause.
It's like, this is for women to take up more space. Like, what do you mean by that? It'd be like, like, I don't know, man.

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Speaker 1 Your money, your Your move. Why you ask me that? What do you think about that? Do you think women, you think they need to be more confined?

Speaker 1 Do you think they should be confined or occupy more space?

Speaker 1 I don't like. I don't.
I don't like. Come, mom, you can do it.
Occupy more space. Yeah.

Speaker 1 In what regard? True, I wasn't confined. True tires, June 5th.

Speaker 1 True what? Tires, June 5th. Oh, yeah, tires.

Speaker 1 Yeah, sure. Yeah.
Women need to occupy more space. Of course.
Tires, watch tires. They should be, they should, if they choose, if they want to, of course.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 if they want to take up more space, yeah. You don't want to confine them? No, you don't ever want to confine your woman.

Speaker 1 No, what are your thoughts on foot training? It was a what? Foot training, foot training? Yeah, what's that? I don't know. Binding their feet.
I don't support forcible foot training.

Speaker 1 If somebody wants to foot train, yeah, sure. Their daughter? No.

Speaker 1 What if your two-year-old said, I want to foot train?

Speaker 1 Would you say yes?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Why? So you're against trains.

Speaker 1 What if your public school teacher came and told you

Speaker 1 your daughter wants to foot train? I would say,

Speaker 1 let's just wrap the foot gently. You know, like wearing a kid.
Trick them.

Speaker 1 You want to trick the kids. Did you see that soft-white underbelly where the guy lost, like, he had a son, and his wife was like, our son's a daughter.
And he's like, no, it's not.

Speaker 1 And then she just got, she divorced him. And then the school was like, yo, it's on.
Schools are going, bro. They need to chill.

Speaker 1 Dude, they need to chill.

Speaker 1 I don't understand the hype up on it. If I'm a teacher and I'm like trying to just get them to pay attention to geography, the last thing I need on my plate is like, what are we doing?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got that. Yeah, but there could be a deeper, like,

Speaker 1 you're trying to get them to pay attention to geography and they are acting up every day.

Speaker 1 And you go, okay. Yeah, and the girls are all being so good.
Fuck your shit up.

Speaker 1 It's just a class. I think they're just being lazy because girls are easier in school.
Like, if you're a boy, school sucks. If you're a girl, you're like, I actually like it.

Speaker 1 I have all my pencils organized. So I could,

Speaker 1 if I was a teacher, I'd be like, we need more of these girls. That's very true.
They tried Adderall for years. They're like, you know what? Fuck it.

Speaker 1 The teachers are just on Adderall organizing the class. Like, it'd be much more efficient if these were all women in here.
I don't see the point. I don't see what's wrong with that.

Speaker 1 And also, yeah, the sports. I was on PITM yesterday.
We were talking about what's that panties in the mouth podcast okay premier sounds like part of your alley doesn't it

Speaker 1 yes you've been known to stuff some pitm yeah i love it yeah it's good yeah panties in the mouth

Speaker 1 he actually does

Speaker 1 panties in the mouth on patreon what happened i've just been saying it for years that that's a pretty cool thing to do stuff a girl

Speaker 1 yeah if she's it yeah stuff a girl's under underpants into her mouth

Speaker 1 if they're into it yeah while you're poorly her what if you're just like work what if you're just working at their house and you see them on the floor and you're just going

Speaker 1 which is my own but that's kind of

Speaker 1 it's snack time yeah

Speaker 1 they're about to get washed well like what does that matter i mean they're about to get washed so like theoretically you're like say you're working at a house like you're doing like you know you're a plumber and you come you go in like to fix the laundry machine you just see dirty underwear do you think a person has a right

Speaker 1 i could i could gobble these yeah yeah you don't ask for a tip though no tip you just you gobbled the panties when no one was looking. No tip.
I also don't know if you tip.

Speaker 1 Even if you don't even know the woman. Even if I've never even seen her.
Really? So you don't even know her age? They got to be pretty big.

Speaker 1 You got to be giant.

Speaker 1 I plead the fifth.

Speaker 1 Turn the mic off on that.

Speaker 1 But yeah, we were talking about coaches starting to get competitive in women's sports and just like, like how college coaches hear up, like a player's good and they go and kind of scout the house yeah just like there's like a fucking fast gay kid in your neighborhood and you're like i could get him on the girls

Speaker 1 get him on the girls far city fast gay kid you see him running like force gump in front of a truck people like get out of here you bring the briefcase to his family's house like let's just have dinner

Speaker 1 this kid could dominate

Speaker 1 but what are you what are your thoughts on that kind of stuff

Speaker 1 i didn't even understand what happened over there he turns into like if she's there on a job site, what?

Speaker 1 So who's we're talking about how there's a thing going on right now where all of these girls are becoming boys and dominating men's sports and causing a fucking uproar.

Speaker 1 And it's huge in the podcast sphere. Okay.
This is what we talk about. Yeah.
I thought, wasn't this like a year ago then? No, it still happened. No, it was girl.
It was boys.

Speaker 1 It was two years of us talking about boys becoming girls. Boys becoming girls.
Now there's a lot of girls becoming boys and just cleaning up fucking boys in men's sports. No way.

Speaker 1 Oh, thanks for that.

Speaker 1 That's Russian disinformation. That is Russian.
That's actually Russian disinformation. Unfortunately, this isn't on camera.

Speaker 1 It's just a deep, you know, it's a deep. Okay.

Speaker 1 Couch.

Speaker 1 If anybody's just listening to this, I tried to get up to get to the.

Speaker 1 How was the masters?

Speaker 1 That's what I'd like to talk about. Yeah, I was the masters.
How was the masters? Well, I,

Speaker 1 you know, really, so we should

Speaker 1 start by saying how much I appreciate

Speaker 1 what Shane did to get us to the masters. Because, Because, and I did say a year and a half ago, I was like, if you could ever use your powers for me, I'd love to go to the Masters.

Speaker 1 And then he made that happen. That's awesome.
And it's on the base for him return. Six beers.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. No.
I don't even want to. By the way, everyone at the Masters had heard that.

Speaker 1 Everywhere we went, dudes were like, How many beers has he had?

Speaker 1 To the point where I started defending him, where I was like, guys, just leave him alone. He's only ever one.

Speaker 1 And then he would laugh at me because then, like, the moment guys would come up to him, I would just walk away.

Speaker 1 And then, and then he would be like, look at him over there applying sunscreen, trying to act like

Speaker 1 every $10.

Speaker 1 No, not even, not even a spray. Rather.
Deodorant stick of sunscreen. No, no, no.

Speaker 1 It doesn't get all your hands. It's fucking crazy.
You're doing like the UG from Camp Ottawana. What? Camp Ottawana.
We don't share our heart.

Speaker 1 What? Did you ever see Salute Your Shorts? What? Did you ever see Salute Your Shorts? The show. No.
All right. Hey, this honestly, it sounds like Mad Lips.
No, it's not.

Speaker 1 It was a show on Nickelodeon when we were younger.

Speaker 1 I didn't have cable until I was like 13. Damn.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 We got cable, and then it was the X Games, and that was incredibly exciting. You got to see X Games right away.
That was the first time. You're like a Soviet.

Speaker 1 You got everything at once. You turned 13, and we're like, holy shit.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But no,

Speaker 1 the Masters, I didn't. So I was trying to hold my tongue.
Yeah. Because I knew it was

Speaker 1 big for Kirby's. Yeah, yeah.
I just, I don't give a fuck about golf. Yeah.
I really wanted to. You can't see anything.
Yeah, you couldn't see it. Yeah, how does that work?

Speaker 1 It doesn't.

Speaker 1 I don't know how anybody.

Speaker 1 You just like the best you could do is park up at a hole and then you get to watch that if you could see it.

Speaker 1 And then, you know, that's like a hit on the green. We were like a mistake.

Speaker 1 There were some awesome spots. Like, was that six? That was a par three? Yeah.
That was great.

Speaker 1 But I couldn't see anything. Oh, so, like, if you're a little bit more.
He was also, he can't see. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So

Speaker 1 we did get to 16. He's a fucking blind guy to the Masters.

Speaker 1 He couldn't see a single thing. I was like, it's beautiful out here.
He was like, is it?

Speaker 1 Neo Conman last second got a ticket. What? Yeah, the Ocon man got in with us.
Nice. Yeah, it was a miracle.
That's awesome. The people at CAA just were like, getting all right, here you go.

Speaker 1 You can have this. Let's do it.
So he, you know, but he was planning on not going. So he had already started drinking a little.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He was ready to lock down by himself at Hooters for the entire day, which I couldn't have been more jealous. That's kind of nice, actually.
I could not have been more jealous.

Speaker 1 It's also nice to be at the bar. I'm like, my buddies are there.
Yeah, and also be like, I have to be here. Yeah.
There's nowhere else I can get. I just, they drop me off.

Speaker 1 I got to stay here until the sun goes down from noon to fucking 8 p.m. at a Hooters.

Speaker 1 And then you can't have cell phones, which sounds great, but you like, it's almost like a movie where, you know, you're with somebody and then a bus passes and then that person's gone.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we got lost a couple of times. Did you really?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's just 100,000 people moving around and everybody's dressed alike. Everybody's dressed like golfer.
Every single person is dressed like a golfer. Yeah, yeah, I figured that.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 everyone was extremely nice. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Everyone was great. The staff, everybody that worked there was awesome.
Other than the bathroom, you go in there. That was a very different experience.
It's prison in there.

Speaker 1 It literally became prison. So the only black people I saw were people, the bathroom attendants.

Speaker 1 That a second you go in the bathroom, it's like, one or two, one or two, have two, get in it. Like, just hurry up, go.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then they yelled at me because there's like a

Speaker 1 walls of urinals, and I'm like walking down the, you know, the set. And then one would open up, and the guy would be like, Keep going all the way to the end, and then I'd try and bank again.

Speaker 1 Keep going all the way to the end. They just keep yelling at you until you, and then they're yelling at the next person.
The stalls were like a cell block, like, man,

Speaker 1 doors would open up. It was crazy, yeah.
What the fuck? She walked back outside, and it's paradise, it's the most beautiful place you've ever seen. They're like, Hold on, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Speaker 1 Yeah, get the fuck down!

Speaker 1 Go!

Speaker 1 Why do they need that level of organization there? They love it, it was very organized. That's kind of cool, yeah.

Speaker 1 Damn, it was intense. The bathroom lines were quick, though.
They were quick. Yeah, it was very efficient.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It does feel like a trick a lot of people are kind of because they're like, it's this unbelievable experience and the food's, you know, inexpensive. Food could go fuck itself.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Food was like, wait till you try the cheese sandwich.

Speaker 1 It's only $1.50.

Speaker 1 Turns out they got that price exactly right.

Speaker 1 That thing was a dollar fucking 50 cheese sandwich. It's soccer.
Chicken sandwich fresh, freezing cold. That's so fucking funny.
I don't want to shit on the masters because it was awesome. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And everyone there was nice.

Speaker 1 It would have been amazing to watch on TV. I actually caught a bunch of it.
I was in San Antonio in the green room. It was just on the TV.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Rose was dominating. One guy got stuck in like a bush.
Did you see that? Where he got like stuck in a fucking bush and had to sit down for a while. It was O'Connor.

Speaker 1 O'Connor and laying down.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we were at the 18th. So they went into extra, I guess, playoffs at the end because it was tied.
So apparently it was, they played the 18th again, and then the 10th, and then the 18th.

Speaker 1 Or just 18th, then 10th, and then 18th. So I think it was just the 18th and the day that we came up with 10th 15th.
Yeah. Who won? Rory.
Rory, man. Rory.
Oh, wow. Okay.
But

Speaker 1 so we posted up at the 18th T-box just in case it went to an extra round and we could see them tee off.

Speaker 1 So we were at the end.

Speaker 1 A mile away, the guy won.

Speaker 1 And there was like five of them. Chris was laying on the grass farting.

Speaker 1 And we were like, get up, dude. He's like,

Speaker 1 he's just rolling around.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a

Speaker 1 fucking disastrous trip.

Speaker 1 John said it was like a bachelorette party because

Speaker 1 Chris got hammered. We would get lost.
Be like, where did you go? Where did you go? There was a lot of lost fights. Well, we went back to the plane.
I cried right here.

Speaker 1 Some lost fights. He cried on the plane.
No.

Speaker 1 I had a panic attack.

Speaker 1 Right before takeoff, he goes, I'm going to just get a hotel here and drive. I got to go.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Sit down, Girby baby. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But you were so helpful, John and Chris, and then the pilot. The pilot was very helpful.
But during his panic attack, I was like, would it help if I blast Drake?

Speaker 1 And he was like, no.

Speaker 1 He's just completely honest. He's like, I fucking hate Drake and you play it all the time and you play it too loud.

Speaker 1 He plays it too loud. All his music's too loud.

Speaker 1 Have you ever been in a car?

Speaker 1 It's nuts.

Speaker 1 That is not good for a panic attack.

Speaker 1 That's why I said it to him. I was like, would it help you if I blast music?

Speaker 1 And you were the first, like, because I had a racist

Speaker 1 theory.

Speaker 1 Which was like,

Speaker 1 what?

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 it was just like, it was just like black people take a while to like get a car, like when you get in a car,

Speaker 1 you know, like getting out of a car.

Speaker 1 Sorry, it's just a thought of the thing that I thought. That's fine.
Black people take a long time getting in and out of cars. Yeah, it's like a lot of like rigor all.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 And then you did it.

Speaker 1 And I was like, what the fuck's going on? Just start the car. Say, we're waiting for a parking spot.
No, what's going on? You're like, what the fuck are you doing? What?

Speaker 1 You're like waiting for a parking spot or something? No, no, no. It's like within.

Speaker 1 This was back when you had your Corolla.

Speaker 1 And I didn't know how bad it was.

Speaker 1 You got in it, and then I got in. I buckled up.
We were going to go get coffee, and then you take out your phone, and you're like, Doing this. You guys get the music going, right?

Speaker 1 And I was like, What are you doing? And you're like picking a song.

Speaker 1 Let's go.

Speaker 1 And so, anyway, it just abused me of that. I said, Here's a white guy that does it.

Speaker 1 Oh, nice. Yeah.
I do a lot of black stereotypes.

Speaker 1 Think of one. Think of one? Yeah.
No.

Speaker 1 One of them fiddling around in their cars is so funny. They fiddle.

Speaker 1 You do critique my driving. You critique the parking.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine being in a car in a huge? I did shit the other day. I would love to see you drive.
Well, you've seen me drive. It's probably chaos.
No, but you nailed exactly the

Speaker 1 because

Speaker 1 when I drive, because, you know, with my vision, and I almost, and I know this is gonna say, you can't see,

Speaker 1 I can,

Speaker 1 but it's just like I like to be doubly sure, and you were like, you're looking way too far to, you know, like, if I'm gonna pull out, I really make sure there's no people.

Speaker 1 I gave someone a scare one time, and then I, I, you know,

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 what music do you listen to? The engine, I just silence, yeah, you don't listen to music in your car, occasionally I do, like what? You know what? I honestly don't.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's like, you know, Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack.

Speaker 1 Like, I got, you know, I get here with like,

Speaker 1 what do I get here?

Speaker 1 More fucking real, dude. Yo, you got to be a song.

Speaker 1 John Tess. Yes.

Speaker 1 Discover Weekly is phenomenal. They got Kim and Graw.

Speaker 1 What? Your Discover Weekly is Pirates of the Caribbean and the NBA theme song.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 yeah, that John Tesch song is great.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 Damn, that was probably right when you got cable, too.

Speaker 1 They were using it back then. Yeah.

Speaker 1 There is a YouTube channel that plays like soft jazz at all.

Speaker 1 Just like a piano.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's not bad.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So it's just like chill. Yes.
Nice. I guess coming from that, which is the whitest way on earth to drive, I probably seem black as hell in my car.
Yes.

Speaker 1 That's you drive too white.

Speaker 1 Quiet is nuts. Quiet is nuts.
I'm just kidding. What?

Speaker 1 Silence is crazy to me in a car for the most part. I don't think so.
I mean, I get it. I get it.

Speaker 1 But listening to the Pirates of the Caribbean theme song

Speaker 1 and driving around.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's just, that's not the only thing. And like, also, like a Hanzimmer mix, but it's.
A Hanzimmer mix.

Speaker 1 You were telling me Hot Zimmer isn't amazing? I do think that's.

Speaker 1 Maybe like while I'm watching a movie. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It is nice to be in a parking lot, have like a dramatic

Speaker 1 soundtrack swelling. They're so they take for fucking ever.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, I'm gone. I'm somewhere else.

Speaker 1 Man, you must driving in Philly, you must have had a tough time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, driving because the killer bees are out. I don't know what you're talking about.
The bees.

Speaker 1 I don't know what that is.

Speaker 1 Shane. But listen, but

Speaker 1 I did have, you know,

Speaker 1 there were some teenagers on bicycles.

Speaker 1 And holy Taleo.

Speaker 1 Because you know what you're coming into that.

Speaker 1 Kings on bikes. Yes.
Were they B's or W's?

Speaker 1 You know what they're

Speaker 1 So you're going to the R Museum. Oh, there were some.

Speaker 1 Children. Children.
It doesn't matter. So, but you know, but it's what it is.
And they're on their bikes.

Speaker 1 And then, like, right as the green light, and I start going one, like, hardcore darts at the truck. And then I'm like, whoa.
And then,

Speaker 1 yeah. And then I was saying to my girl, I'm like, if

Speaker 1 he collided with the car, I'm finished. I mean, like, because I can't stop.
It's going to be like,

Speaker 1 it's going to be LA riots. It's going to be over, you know? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or then

Speaker 1 I'm just going to drive, then I'm going to hit and run. So then I

Speaker 1 was like, I would drive to a police station. Then I start going through all that.
But yeah, it's terrifying. Yeah, you have to turn yourself in.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Damn. And I was like, I'm never driving in this city again.

Speaker 1 I ruined that afternoon. Yeah, you got to be careful.
That's, yeah, you can, you can get really, if you hit one of those kids, you get in a lot of trouble. Yes.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 like a lot of businesses could explode.

Speaker 1 And I have, I, I'm very like Blizz. Like, like, I get, you know, picked on.
You get harassed. I remember when I got candy mugged at Halloween.
Yes.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. The ghetto boys.
I got candy mugged. The ghetto boys.
Dude, I was.

Speaker 1 I wasn't even close to Halloween. Did you hold out the bowl? Yeah.
No, yeah, I I learned in my lesson hard way with that. You can't do that.
You cannot hold out the bowl. What happened to you?

Speaker 1 They fucking just seized a lot of candy. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You got it. How did it go down? I just was like, here, grab a couple.
I was like,

Speaker 1 oh, you got to pull it down. I'm like, boys, man, you got to grow up in that.
And then it was just a W neighborhood, and that happened. Oh, okay.
Still happened.

Speaker 1 Yeah, especially if you do leave, like, take one, if you try to leave a dish outside, that gets destroyed anywhere. How did you get mugged? I came out.
I had a pot full, you know. Yep.

Speaker 1 Here you go, fellas.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I was like, here's some mapping candy we're dishing out that's my candy this year it was it was everything it was like i spent the money on the candy yeah you want amazon and i had you're excited

Speaker 1 i wouldn't say i was excited yeah i felt an obligation to do it because i think it's an awesome holiday and i'll see you know the neighborhood oh it's an awesome holiday yeah yeah and he had a backpack on and he tell me you were dressed as jack sparrow i was dressed i was not dressed

Speaker 1 oh i did wear like orange and black you wore orange and black yeah like you know

Speaker 1 that i had in my wardrobe already for sure yeah yeah what was it like i don't remember orange polo black pants don't recall pumpkin suit

Speaker 1 what were you wearing i don't recall did you dress your cat up no all right

Speaker 1 and he turned his backpack around so it was like frontways and unzipped it and started putting and he went like

Speaker 1 and then they all started doing it and i was like guys guys

Speaker 1 and then one kid they took it all and then one kid was like I'm sorry, bro. And I was like,

Speaker 1 sorry. And then that was it.
I was out of candy.

Speaker 1 So then I had to shut off all my lights. And then any other kids that came out, I was like, well, are they going to be pissed? You know,

Speaker 1 they ruined the first one.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah, I had to run to write it.
5'9.

Speaker 1 Anyway.

Speaker 1 I have a description. 220.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got crushed one year. I held the bowl out and I was like, never.
You can't do it. Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's big handfuls.

Speaker 1 You have to grab dump in the bag. And I said, I'm out of here.
And then I moved to the slumber.

Speaker 1 Anyway, just kidding. But I did.
I did.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 you didn't get involved. Yeah, we talked about that.
How you got involved in like a high-level crime. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yep. That was pretty wild.
It was, yeah, terrifying.

Speaker 1 True. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So the masters were good. The masters, it was good.
I'm happy we went. Yeah, it was awesome to go.
And

Speaker 1 again, just like you taking me was so special. And it meant so much to me.
Just because you're special. Well, not drinking six beers, though, was a fucking crime.

Speaker 1 No, no, it's not a crime. It's not a crime.
How many would you have just one, right? Well, I had vodka on the plane ride there because I was freaking out.

Speaker 1 And then I had, I mean, technically at the end of the day. At the end of the day, you turned it on during that panic attack.
Yep. That was nice.
Oh, you guys went there and back. Yeah.
Yeah. Got you.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 you hit your six. Yeah.
Alcohol affects me different. And people that don't

Speaker 1 have that, they can't get. I know it affects you differently.
Yeah. That's why I wanted it.
No, no.

Speaker 1 What does it do? It's like the hangover and all that stuff afterwards? Like there's a point. So like there's an hour where it feels nice.
Yeah. And then it's just like inflammation.

Speaker 1 So then I just start to feel like crap. Yeah.
Yeah. And then

Speaker 1 it's like the amount that I would have to drink to get through that is like... No, but then I'm going to feel so bad the next day that I can't even enjoy it while it's happening.

Speaker 1 And I'm just like, yeah. You have an unbelievable constitution.
The fact that the next day you were like in the mood that you were in is insane. We were having fun.
You did have fun.

Speaker 1 No, I can be grumpy in the morning. You weren't grumpy at all.

Speaker 1 You woke up and you were like, hey, guys. And then you took a shower and then you were you.

Speaker 1 Which is nice. Yeah, thank you.
Yeah, I can't handle the hangovers, man. I fucking, I hate them.
No. The Ocon Man rallied yesterday.

Speaker 1 I thought there was no shout he was going to be all right.

Speaker 1 It is funny that you're like, I don't want to have a beer, but you have three cocktails with pills.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 He's got no problem crushing pills. I had one pill, one Lorizapam, because, you know, for fear of flying.

Speaker 1 Something you're not supposed to mix.

Speaker 1 Oh, oops.

Speaker 1 Allegedly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. You can do it.
You're right. I remember the first time I heard you say allegedly.
It killed me.

Speaker 1 I remember, like, you know how when somebody said something really funny, I knew where I was standing in helium. But anyway,

Speaker 1 just in case my doctor's watching, I don't combine them.

Speaker 1 But anyway, I was going to tell you, just take pills, and if you can't drink, just take like two larazepams and like a little bit of mushrooms and just go to the masters. Right.

Speaker 1 I mean, mushrooms would have rocked. The issue here was...
It would have been really overwhelming, though.

Speaker 1 Shane was treating me. I would have laid down.
When I got lost the first time, I would have just.

Speaker 1 But the problem was, I was trying to get their attention because I lost them. I thought they were in front of me when we were walking.

Speaker 1 It turns out they just stopped next to me and I kept walking because people kept talking to me. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then I was trying to find them and I was just like standing on a hill just trying to gain attention so they could maybe see me. So just everyone saw me.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then all of them were like, yo, bro, fucking chug this beer. I was like, God, give me the fucking beer.

Speaker 1 It was the Georgia Bulldogs football team. Was it really?

Speaker 1 It was, yeah, it was the Georgia players came up and they were the ones who got me a to chug a beer because it was while I was lost, and I was like,

Speaker 1 I'll chug it with you. But now it's a real race against the clock for me to find these guys because I was on the cusp of being hammered.

Speaker 1 And then we were like going search parties in different directions, and

Speaker 1 I was going his, where he ended up, where he was. I was for real

Speaker 1 30 yards away, just standing. And then you took the hill.
Very close, yeah. Yeah, then you took the hill.
Yeah. Dang.
But we ran into J.J. Watt, who is just an awesome.
Yeah, he he was a man.

Speaker 1 Him and his boys. Yeah, he had two high school friends, or I think they were, that they were, I could be 100% friends with.
They were so nice. How about that dude O'Connor was battling with? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 It was just a guy behind us that was a roofer from Florida that was just kidding back in the class. Yeah.
What was he doing? Just like yelling? It was really funny. Was he yelling out?

Speaker 1 They were just being loud. And at the masses, like if somebody's hitting, you got to be really quiet.
We were right next to the green. So dudes were like putting and he was like, yo,

Speaker 1 dude, this fucking

Speaker 1 where are all the squirrels?

Speaker 1 They fucking killed all the squirrels. And O'Connor was hammering next to him, like, shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 Nobody fucking likes you, dude, because I'll fuck.

Speaker 1 Fuck you. He's like, fuck you, pussy.

Speaker 1 He didn't like the chat. Somebody farted during a putt, which was

Speaker 1 a former NFL quarterback. I don't want to name him now.
He farted at the master's. Oh,

Speaker 1 It was extremely funny.

Speaker 1 I mean, that was a fun time. Sitting at the 16th when we were all.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was kids in class. You had to be quiet, and everyone there was just like,

Speaker 1 yeah, we got to see Rose make a putt that like brought him right back into the mix. And then Rory comes through.
And that's the thing, though, it's like, oh, well, what's going to happen? But then.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you don't know. There's no phones, so you can't check.
You got to literally stand in front of an actual scoreboard they're putting up, which is kind of cool. It's kind of cool.

Speaker 1 I don't like the scoring system with golf. They got to flip that.

Speaker 1 Like, negative seven wins. They should just give you like 40,000 points.

Speaker 1 That would make it. If you were leading, yeah.
It's fucking embarrassing. Awesome shot.
25,000.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Like, it's crazy to actually

Speaker 1 talk about. Exactly.

Speaker 1 That's a weird thing, too. They try and make courses longer because they're like, oh, everybody's scoring so low.
It's like, but they're all playing the same course. Who cares? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who cares if it's 30 under as opposed to 10 under? Yeah. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Is it true that, like, even if someone plays there and gets like 20th place, they still get like $300,000, $400,000? Yeah. That's kind of cool.
20th probably makes that. Really? Pretty easily, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's pretty tight. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's your, what do you shoot right now?

Speaker 1 Well, my handicap's an 11.3, but it's probably going to go up because I'm making some swing changes and I'm not good. So.
So, how does that work?

Speaker 1 Is your handicap affect the score if you play against somebody else does that like you know what i mean like if you i don't know how that system works it's like it's kind of a weird system but you just it prompts me to enter it after i play around so i enter i thought that's exactly what it was designed for so right so if you're competing yeah right

Speaker 1 why do they call it a handicap though that's what i don't understand i don't know because it's a disability true you're handicapped by your score versus whoever you're playing.

Speaker 1 But does that affect the score? I'm saying.

Speaker 1 So yeah, if if you got like a four and I got a five, but I had a higher handicap, we'd have like the same. Yes, okay, yeah, that's pretty cool.
I guess it keeps it somewhat fair, somewhat

Speaker 1 seems communist to me. Yeah, it's kind of crazy, actually.

Speaker 1 I like that. Can you get the tags

Speaker 1 if your handicap gets like high enough? What's that? Like the parking tags. You can park.

Speaker 1 You depart closer at the golf course.

Speaker 1 I got busted in a handicap spot where I get my wings. I never, I don't take up handicapped spots where I go to Nando's to get, they have like

Speaker 1 wood-grilled wings. They're so fucking good.

Speaker 1 I should actually. They're delicious.
But they're,

Speaker 1 like, the only parking spots out front of it, and everywhere else is kind of busy, is like two or three giant handicaps. It's like a lane of just handicapped spots.

Speaker 1 I always like pop in there, grab my wings, and leave. How many spots? It's like three.
It's just, but it's right in front of the place. It's in front of them.
It's like three of them at once.

Speaker 1 Dude, it's just

Speaker 1 all of it's handicapped. If you want to go to Nando's and pick up an order, you want to park out front, you have to be handicapped.
Or

Speaker 1 in front of that's valet for the hotel next to it. And I'll pull in the valet and they're like, you can't park it right now.
So I'm like,

Speaker 1 I'm like, fine, back into a handicapped spot. I'm like, you made me do it.
And then I went to get my wings. I'm like, they won't be there.
Dude, a car pulls behind me. I'm like, nobody's handicapped.

Speaker 1 Saw the tags. I was like,

Speaker 1 burning with shame. Just hopped in my car.

Speaker 1 That's worse than dumping. I limped out.
I was like, dumping in the handicap. Yeah.
And you come out and you're like, there's no chance there's a guy in a wheelchair. Have you ever encountered?

Speaker 1 I have.

Speaker 1 It's devastating. I took a family dump, the family bathroom, and I've opened that after a dump.
And there's been a family that needs to like change diaper. Yeah, they get hit.

Speaker 1 Those things get hit hard.

Speaker 1 Although they're kind of rolling those family bathrooms is like, I think that's been the solution for like the

Speaker 1 trans stuff. It's just like families or whoever.
And then you can kind of, you know, that's what I do. Yeah.
Instead of like limping out, I'll go,

Speaker 1 excuse me.

Speaker 1 I'm handicapped.

Speaker 1 I'm a family.

Speaker 1 I'm a fucking family.

Speaker 1 That was the only thing they could do.

Speaker 1 It was such an insolvency. You can't solve that problem.

Speaker 1 Because then if you have a just trans bathroom, you can't do that. So it has to just be a family of friends.
Just trans bathroom would be nice. Yeah, that'd be fun.
Party. Fun.

Speaker 1 People would be getting in there.

Speaker 1 Anyone could go. And that would, bro, think if you hit it, you had to hit.
There's the only toilet open.

Speaker 1 You got the walk of shame coming out.

Speaker 1 True, I'd put my family in the family room. Like, I'll be back.
You just hit the transmitter.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 that's a thing at the airport I've seen. I've seen people go in and crush almost the family bathroom.
Yeah. And you just see a family waiting outside.
I've done it. And then I'm in there.

Speaker 1 You got to just be like, I'm taking my time on this. Yeah.
It's a lone, it's a single bathroom. Perfect.
You can lose yourself in there. You can take some time.
You can look at Instagram.

Speaker 1 You can fuck around. Yeah.
Must have taken a long time and then come out and seen two families, like a line of family. You got to come out and go.
You got to come out of there and go, fuck.

Speaker 1 Where the hell they go? Who the fuck's my family?

Speaker 1 Where's my family? This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. These days, you have to be smart with your money.
If you're going to make a big purchase, you got to make it count.

Speaker 1 What's something you bought? Dude, I just invested in two bug tanks.

Speaker 1 I got two bug tanks from National Geographic. So they got a little magnifying glass on them.
I got not one, but two. What type of bugs are you going to put in there?

Speaker 1 Right now, we've only gotten some roly-polies. So you can throw them in there, create their natural habitat, and you can kind of like...
I'd like to see what Roly Polis are up to. Bro,

Speaker 1 I catch like, me and my daughters catch like four Roly Polis a day and put them in my garden. It's really nice.
It's awesome. I have so many Roly Polies.

Speaker 1 So yeah, I got a bug tank's nice, man, because otherwise you had to carry them in your hand. You ever try to carry a Roly Poli in your hand?

Speaker 1 They fucking, they get, they're, they're escape artists.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, I got some bug tanks. It's been, you know, 30 years.
Yeah, yeah, I'm telling you. Since I've tried.
It's just as hard. They escape.
So. I bought a bug light.
You got a bug light?

Speaker 1 I got a bug zapper out there. That's, you know, kind of the opposite of what you're doing, but

Speaker 1 just as fun. You're battling.
You sit by the, you sit in the hot tub and all this.

Speaker 1 God damn, that guy. You get some of these big, the bugs out here are so big.
My dad's big on them. When they die, they go,

Speaker 1 you hear him hit the fucking bug light and they go, Jesus.

Speaker 1 God damn.

Speaker 1 Another great investment, taking care of yourself. You know, you're talking about these bugs.

Speaker 1 Matt, why don't you think about yourself? Traditional therapy can get crazy expensive, though, like between $100 and $250 a month or more or something like that. Therapy is worth it, though.

Speaker 1 And you do have options like BetterHelp, the help with the beta on it. It could help you save up to 50% per session while getting you the help you need.

Speaker 1 I've had a lot of sessions where I think about myself. Yeah.
Take care of myself. I like therapy because

Speaker 1 I've benefited from therapy. Yeah, I think it's nice.
I think it's a nice thing to do. Everyone could learn something from therapy.
Yeah, you can just do it.

Speaker 1 Because it teaches you positive coping skills. Like how dumb your family is.
And set boundaries. You're doomed.
Yeah, basically you get on a Zoom call and you talk about how dumb your family is.

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Speaker 1 You cannot use tokens for the tokens. You're stuck with those.
You made a mistake. You bought some tokens.
But you can talk to BetterHelp the help with the beta on it. You doubt that.

Speaker 1 A better help, the help with the beta on it.

Speaker 1 Hey, everybody. Dude, Dwight's.

Speaker 1 Dude, Dwipes, they rip. But it's me, LeMaire Lee.
Please come to my shows on May 9th and May 10th at Coastal Creative in Dang, Tampa.

Speaker 1 And May 28th, we're doing a small-time comedy heist here in Austin, Texas, at Roscoe's Comedy Club. Please, please come.
It'll be nice.

Speaker 1 Tell them a joke.

Speaker 1 Give them a little taste. A small-time comedy heist.

Speaker 1 No, dude, one of your jokes.

Speaker 1 Like a bit. Do a joke just so people know what they're going to get.
Give them a little taste.

Speaker 1 I have to find one.

Speaker 1 Do crowd work.

Speaker 1 Where are you from?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Philadelphia. That's nice.
It's cool out there. I like Philly.

Speaker 1 What's your favorite cheese steak?

Speaker 1 Chicken cheese. Chicken.

Speaker 1 The fuck's off the stage.

Speaker 1 Do a little gas in the test.

Speaker 1 You should see me and Philly on May 6. I mean, we should just put that out as a special notice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm excited to fly with my family tomorrow. That's always an operation.
And Gerby. And Gerbs, dude, I can't believe.

Speaker 1 Yes. They're going to have so much fun.

Speaker 1 Great. I can't wait to absolutely sick both of them.
You're going to scare the fuck out of Matt. I promise I won't.
No.

Speaker 1 First of all, no. Yeah.

Speaker 1 you know what you do oh if we're freaking out yeah i won't do that all right good no definitely not in front of kids they'll hold your hand they'll hold your hand the whole time oh that's great they're not i'm not saying it bad i do it all the time i hold my hands i get nervous and we land i'm always like hold your father's hand now it makes me feel a lot better oh that's that's adorable yeah

Speaker 1 but yeah they have no idea they start bumping and they're just like but even if i was like it was so nice having you there like when you know you're going through something your friends are there and like talking you through it it was i was trying trying my best to make things worse for you.

Speaker 1 You weren't. You're saying that.
You know, you on the takeoff, I didn't know how bad it was until we left. On the way there, it was pretty funny.
Yeah, the way there, I had it.

Speaker 1 Shit, we're really high up.

Speaker 1 Once I get up, I'm all right. Yeah.
And the way that the pilot explained it to me, and I think like this, this really made sense, was he's like,

Speaker 1 you're not used to being in 3D like me. Do South African, do the South African.
I really can't. You guys can.
You can do it. He's like, hey, Bri, is there? Yeah.
He's like,

Speaker 1 I can't do accents like you.

Speaker 1 Hey, Bri, would you get up there?

Speaker 1 You know, you're not used to being in 3D. So your ear hairs are like, hey, this is totally destabilizing.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you're trying to, you know, for me, exert control over what feels like an out-of-control feeling. Yeah.
You can't. And then that starts to spin that derealization feeling.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, I feel like I'm losing my mind. So that's what he's saying.

Speaker 1 I just thought it was a nice thing for him to say, which is like, it feels weird, and as it should, because you're not used to it, and your ears are telling you there's a problem, but there's no problem.

Speaker 1 I never thought about the ear hairs. So your ear hairs just start getting like, what the fuck's going on? You start to spazz.
Equilibrium, yeah. Yeah.
Because you're suddenly back. And

Speaker 1 yeah. But it again

Speaker 1 really appreciated.

Speaker 1 The news has not been great. No, man.
Another helicopter just exploded. Yeah, I watched that.
I saw that one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't think I'll be on a helicopter. Dude, yeah, I don't.

Speaker 1 Not a good time for helicopter charters. No.
Even though I was interested to learn that you can land a helicopter with no power to the rotors.

Speaker 1 But unfortunately, it sounds like that one, they actually have lost. Yeah, the whole fucking thing fell off.
Yeah. Hold on.

Speaker 1 So you're talking about if the fucking engine dies, they can turn the rotors such that

Speaker 1 there's enough

Speaker 1 air being pushed through to

Speaker 1 come down.

Speaker 1 not super soft, but you, it's not a death sentence. Damn, it was uh, there's a YouTube channel called Smarter Every Day that did a whole thing.
This is like 10 years ago, but yeah, that's pretty cool.

Speaker 1 It was cool, still not getting in one of those things, man. I've just they've caught too much negative press, yeah.
That last one was like, Jesus Christ, bro. Did they hit the water?

Speaker 1 Yeah, ah, poor souls. There goes my feet, yeah, true,

Speaker 1 whole fam,

Speaker 1 Oh, I got a shit. Straight through Davey Jones' locker.

Speaker 1 Damn. Now, I'm not making fun of them because I fly a lot and I really don't want to die that way.
But

Speaker 1 it was making me thinking about if that space shuttle with Katy Perry did explode

Speaker 1 and her hit song was.

Speaker 1 You're a firework.

Speaker 1 It would have been good. yeah.
Man, I mean, that's

Speaker 1 that's criminal, dude. Sending all those babes into space is launching the babes.
That's reckless. If they died, he couldn't it technically be like reckless endangerment?

Speaker 1 No, he'd probably get off, he'd be all right. Yeah, he'd get off, he would be like, change the law, yeah, true, true,

Speaker 1 for sure.

Speaker 1 Send a bunch of chicks on the space.

Speaker 1 See everybody survive up there, then we'll go.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, Babes are in space now. That's not good.

Speaker 1 Especially just

Speaker 1 launch the space, babes. Put the babes in space.
Put the babes up there. Cool them off a little.
True.

Speaker 1 I mean, how long do you think it takes for them to land back on Earth and slowly get like their ear hairs probably slowly get back to normal? And they're like, Why are you doing it?

Speaker 1 Why are you doing that?

Speaker 1 Dude, think about having that over your babe.

Speaker 1 We don't go anywhere anymore.

Speaker 1 I took you to fucking space, bitch. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I didn't like the astronaut food. The astronaut food sucked.
You were there for 10 fucking minutes. What'd you eat?

Speaker 1 I was hungry.

Speaker 1 I didn't feel good. Because you kept me up all night with your fucking snoring.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you'd get like maybe a nice afternoon. You could send your baby.

Speaker 1 I guarantee in the car ride home, one of them was like, Gail was being a bitch.

Speaker 1 Gail was a fucking bitch the whole time we were in space.

Speaker 1 She thought it was all about her. Not that it's all about me.
Not that it's all about me, but like, let's be honest.

Speaker 1 It was Katy Perry's trip.

Speaker 1 Do you think that would be cool if you're Jeff Bezos and you have a wife and you send her and Katy Perry and Gail into space? You think you actually felt anything or just like,

Speaker 1 all right.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was probably just another day for that guy. He probably woke up like, oh, fuck, I gotta launch those women into space.

Speaker 1 I don't think so. I think he was excited.
You think so? Yeah. You like Jeff Bezos?

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 1 Bezos versus Musk. If you had to pick one, Bezos versus Musk.

Speaker 1 Oh, geez.

Speaker 1 I'd have to say Elon. Do you like Elon better than Bezos? I think, you know.
I think like right now we're in a Rocky, you know. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Why do you like Elon better than Bezos? Bezos, it seems as if I'd like SpaceX was before Blue Origin, right? Yeah. Yeah, he's copying his swag pretty badly on this.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And that, the first time they landed that Falcon booster is, that's an unbelievable video to watch. It's so, because, you know, everybody would say you can't do it.
This is a joke, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 1 And then they did it, and everybody starts chanting USA. It was like, back in this, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And yeah, to see this thing come down. And you've been jacking off to going to Mars for years.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I remember that. I'll go hang out with you and Chris.
All you guys talked about was fucking Mars. Well, yes.
Shut up about Mars. No.

Speaker 1 You need to worry about Halloween.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 1 You got to focus on Halloween before we can focus on Mars. Mars bars.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What'd you say? Mars bars. bars.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 Damn, dude. So what's the Falcon was

Speaker 1 Elon's Christmas? Yeah. Yeah, you think he takes space more seriously because, yeah, Bezos is just

Speaker 1 around the stratosphere. Yeah.
Yeah. He's kind of just pulsing.
I'm sorry. No.
Oh, there's this YouTube video.

Speaker 1 I just found it again recently, but I loved it because when they landed two of those, there's like a guy filming it. Just the way he says it, because you're watching him from afar.

Speaker 1 And then as they're re-entering,

Speaker 1 the

Speaker 1 light up to slow it down, like the engines light up. And so he's like, two candlesticks coming down.
And then, and then it's like you hear the sonic booms. And he's like, double sonic booms.

Speaker 1 It's just a

Speaker 1 wild. Yeah, it's cool.
Yeah. The guy who got to say that probably felt so cool.
It'd be like, double sonic booms. I had to say that into a headset around people.
I'd be like, fuck.

Speaker 1 That would be awesome. We're initiating double stairs.
I was down there for some space launches. Did you really? Oh, yeah, I forgot you guys.
Oh, you saw one? There's nothing.

Speaker 1 It's the coolest thing possible. It has to be.
Yeah, it's great. Although, the last time I was there, it got rained out.

Speaker 1 And I sat on the beach all day waiting for it. They're like, 2 p.m.
2 p.m. launch.
I was like, I'm going to have a good buzz by

Speaker 1 2 p.m.

Speaker 1 It got delayed eight hours. And I was like, that's fine.
I'm in the zone.

Speaker 1 Like, fucking the sun's going down. I was like, oh shit.

Speaker 1 Fuck that rocket. Fucking bullshit.

Speaker 1 Then a giant thunderstorm came. That's cool.
It was awesome. Yeah, that's kind of cool.
Listen to fucking

Speaker 1 Not For Whom the Belt.

Speaker 1 Fuck it. Listen to a Metallica song.
Doing a Thunderstorm. Yeah.
It's kind of sick. Yeah, it was awesome.
It was a great day. That is awesome.
It sucks the rocket didn't launch.

Speaker 1 Now, my family that lives there sends me rocket launches every day. Really? Yeah, they go.
We got another video for you. I'm sick.

Speaker 1 I think there was a rocket launch in San Antonio, or like it was visible from San Antonio. Maybe it was from Houston, but yeah, the guy

Speaker 1 like Saturday. It's probably fucking Katy Perry.

Speaker 1 He probably saw Katy Perry. I think he saw Katie?

Speaker 1 Maybe. I don't know where they launched that thing.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 Probably somewhere else. Well, I don't know.
Where the fucking they do that? Because if they're up there, they're all in LA. So maybe they just hit like fucking New Mexico or something.
Roswell.

Speaker 1 Remember the guy who tried to prove the earth was flat and he made himself a rocket?

Speaker 1 No. He just fucking died.

Speaker 1 That'd be sick if he got vindicated. He's like, I'm falling off the edge.
Clearly, I'm coming right off the floor. I probably did think that on the way down.
Yeah. Seems pretty flat to me.

Speaker 1 I'm about to fucking hit it. It's flat as hell.

Speaker 1 It was in Texas. What'd they launch? West Texas.

Speaker 1 That was Katie Perry. He saw Perry.
You saw Perry. I didn't see it.
Oh, dang. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I was fucking slightly. I think, just to take the counter,

Speaker 1 I mean, they got guts to go up there. That's scary.
For sure.

Speaker 1 Who? Those are six ladies. Those ladies.
I don't think so.

Speaker 1 No?

Speaker 1 Not at all. Would you go? Yeah, easily.

Speaker 1 Not with six ladies.

Speaker 1 Why? I don't know, dude. You get up there.
You get started floating. Space rules.
True.

Speaker 1 Oops, sorry. I floated right into your bottle again.
I floated into all of your butts. God damn, there's not a lot of room up here.
I keep floating right into

Speaker 1 all of you guys' boobs the whole time. I'd be like a Japanese pervert on the subway.

Speaker 1 Being a pervert with zero gravity coming at someone like

Speaker 1 oh,

Speaker 1 whoa, I'm not used to this.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 The Japanese bus porn. Yeah, that was a good...
What? What?

Speaker 1 Do you know?

Speaker 1 Do you watch Japanese bus porn? I mean, yes. Yeah, I do.
I do.

Speaker 1 That's what they do. They kind of like, I mean,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 it's pretty, you know.

Speaker 1 It's not. But they, yeah, they just, they ride the bus and they're all close and they just start like, you know, bumping Vimpaja.

Speaker 1 this whole bus rigging. I'm a bit of a closeted frauderist myself, man.

Speaker 1 I just, I mean, you know, when you're on like the thing at the airport, it gets packed, you're just like, hey, man,

Speaker 1 all I can do is hold on. Yeah.
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Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Montana Knife Company. Did you know there are a little over a hundred master bladesmiths in the world? No, I didn't because I'm not a virgin.

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Speaker 1 Yeah, it is. Yeah, if you can do whatever you want, international waters and space, it's like

Speaker 1 there are, yeah,

Speaker 1 there's a mutiny on this ship, and now I'm going to charge. We're going to the moon.
True. I'm taking the ship.
We're flying somewhere else. Me and the space base.
We're going to start a new colony.

Speaker 1 We're going to have to repopulate. True.

Speaker 1 How many times has Bezos been to space?

Speaker 1 I don't know. He's probably been at least like 20 times.
Also, what do you think it costs just to send those babes up in the air? I think they said it was a million dollars.

Speaker 1 A million bucks every time? A minute. A minute.
A million a minute.

Speaker 1 Is what someone was talking about, yeah.

Speaker 1 They don't really, like, they just, like, float, don't they? Yeah. They don't really go into space.
Yeah, he's just fucking around. Blue orgy, dude.

Speaker 1 Get up there.

Speaker 1 He's definitely got head in space, I would imagine.

Speaker 1 He has to. Yeah, he has.

Speaker 1 He's definitely got a head in space. And you got to go, I'm the first guy to ever do it.
It's like, brother, no, you're not. True.
Who do you think did, Neil?

Speaker 1 Neil and

Speaker 1 brought that dog up.

Speaker 1 Damn, you think he really? He probably e-jacked in space.

Speaker 1 That's tough. Get to do like the full 3D rendering of how big is my.
You can load max and be like,

Speaker 1 this is actually a pretty powerful show.

Speaker 1 Please slurp that. Please float over to that and slurp that.
Please slurp that out.

Speaker 1 You got to do it. Just for me, one time, baby.
Slurp that. Slurp that down.

Speaker 1 It's going to be the best moment of my life.

Speaker 1 That'd be actually really cool.

Speaker 1 I mean, that

Speaker 1 guy and lady were stuck in the space station for like.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 I wonder if they slurped.

Speaker 1 You'd have to. You got stranded in space.
It would just activate something. Your ear hairs would go nuts.
You'd be like, I know it takes slurping. It's way worse than a hotel.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you'd have to. If you're stuck in space.
Somebody's slurping. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Somebody's got a slurp.

Speaker 1 You probably. Never mind.
I got a whiz, actually. Yeah, true.
Let's take a break. Time out.
All good. Oh, dude, I have my restaurant review.
Nice.

Speaker 1 We're good?

Speaker 1 Huh?

Speaker 1 Sick. Steak and beans is back.
I was actually doing a little research for the giant steak and beans. Yeah, dude, I didn't know there was such a thing as a Mexican steakhouse.

Speaker 1 Dude,

Speaker 1 Mexican steakhouse. I was in San Antonio.

Speaker 1 Two acadors, huh?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 I mean, that was my.

Speaker 1 That was my. Oh, we are.
Yeah, we're chatting. This is just guys chat.
Dude, Mexican steak. Have you ever been to a steakhouse? It is always just like, you know, it's like asparagus steak.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dude, I've never even thought about it. It's like every steakhouse I've ever been to, I've been like, what if they had guacamole at the steakhouse?

Speaker 1 And it's, dude, it's called Two Asadores in San Antonio. And they just hand you order whatever you want, and they hand you a fucking cutting board that's just like salt on it.

Speaker 1 They give you warm corn tortillas on the side, and you can get guacamole whatever you want and make yourself like 14 just steak tacos. It's that's right up your alley.
Oh my god, dude. Oh my god.

Speaker 1 Oh my god, it was so good.

Speaker 1 Dude, I've never, it was unbelievable. So good.

Speaker 1 So check that out, dude. It's a.

Speaker 1 Is it in Austin? Where was it? It's in San Antonio. It's for real my favorite place, dude.
I ate there two days in a row. San Antonio away.
Yeah. San Antonio is a very rough and tumble town.

Speaker 1 I like San Antonio. Yeah, it's kind of cool.
That riverwalk's fucking very nice. I didn't see it.
I was just up by the airport the entire time.

Speaker 1 That good.

Speaker 1 You have to go to the Alamo? No, I do. You got to check the Alamo someday.
I do got to check that out. It's pretty sick.

Speaker 1 I was going to threaten threaten if the ticket sales didn't rise up. I was going to say, you guys are going to fucking Alamo.
You have to come fucking get me. Check the Alamo is bad.

Speaker 1 You're going to have to come and get me.

Speaker 1 It was fun. But yeah, dude,

Speaker 1 that shit fucking ruled. I also liked,

Speaker 1 I just kind of would pop back and forth, but I kind of was really enjoying the feeling of like, I was like, I might just like live in San Antonio and just kind of like, not like leave my family, but like...

Speaker 1 be present, but just live in like an apartment in San Antonio. Yeah, like being an hour away was nice.
I could pop up. Standing outside of school sometimes.

Speaker 1 When they go to recess, you stand by the fence. I kind of want to do that so bad.
Just one day.

Speaker 1 But yeah, San Antonio, I got to, you know, kind of LARP being like a semi-distant father in San Antonio. And it was kind of cool.
Because I was just a drive away.

Speaker 1 So I'd like to pop back on Friday morning. See you guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know what I mean? Get a nice cowboy hat.

Speaker 1 That would have been fucking cool. Yeah.
That would help. If you left your family, but you dressed as a cowboy, that would somehow ease the sting.
I feel like that would help, yeah. It would.

Speaker 1 My dad's a cowboy.

Speaker 1 My dad couldn't be here. He's a cowboy.
My dad's at the Mexican steakhouse in San Jose.

Speaker 1 He's at two hazadores.

Speaker 1 Also, too, I was like, I was reading the website and I was like,

Speaker 1 every website, you know, they have like our story. It's like, here's our story.
And it was like, it's always like the kid who's like, when I was four, my.

Speaker 1 My grandfather would have the cattle on the ranch of northern Mexico.

Speaker 1 And I was like all stoked on the way there. I was like, fucking bullshit.
They tricked me again. It's going to be like, just all just from Restaurant Depot.
It's all a bunch of bullshit.

Speaker 1 Got there, and they're like, no, our steaks are all from Northern Mexico. I was like, oh, fucking yes.
Because we're close enough.

Speaker 1 Close enough to Norteños. Yeah.
So, yeah, I was eating that Northern Mexican cattle. It was nice.

Speaker 1 It worked. As soon as he told me that, I was like, I knew this was fucking awesome.
And the guy wears a cowboy hat. I was trying my best to figure that out.
The what? Cows from the north.

Speaker 1 Pocket and del Norte. True.

Speaker 1 You're a fucking Norteño.

Speaker 1 What's that?

Speaker 1 You're a fucking junkie. You're a gringo, boy.
A gringo? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You nasty little gringo. You can get pills for children.
You can move down here and start to hate the M's.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 You're gonna have the M's on your ass. No, no.
Let's do

Speaker 1 what are they up to in their cars?

Speaker 1 Oh, you'll see. Oh, you'll see.

Speaker 1 The M's

Speaker 1 they can't they're tough drivers.

Speaker 1 They test my racism.

Speaker 1 Really? Yeah, I've maintained for a while that the A's get a bad rap, that it's actually the B's.

Speaker 1 Turns out the M's are right there.

Speaker 1 I do like those little, like, do you ever see like the flags people dangle from their

Speaker 1 rearview mirrors? They're kind of nice. If you want to, like, really hone in, like, wait, who is this cutting me off? Like, okay, I got some Venezuelan.

Speaker 1 Like, okay, let me break this out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you do fly the flag. Very pirates.

Speaker 1 True.

Speaker 1 You should get one of those for your rear view. Yeah.
No. Why not?

Speaker 1 I'm not obstructing my view. It's dangerous.

Speaker 1 What would you hang? Yeah, go with Jolly Roger on the back. What's a Jolly Roger? The pirate flag.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 You should get the actual Pirates of the Caribbean logo on the.

Speaker 1 You should get your car wrapped.

Speaker 1 It looks shutting a good guy.

Speaker 1 If I pay for it, will you do that? No.

Speaker 1 Would you, in terms of if you were living in a pirate? I just like the song.

Speaker 1 You don't like the pirates' life at all? No.

Speaker 1 No, I'm not trying to be a pirate. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're telling me if you wouldn't, like, what? The song pumps me up. The song's awesome.

Speaker 1 I listen to the song, but it doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 It doesn't want to make you swashbuckle at all. No.

Speaker 1 When you listen to it. No.

Speaker 1 No adventures on the high seas. You would want nothing to do with it.
I'm totally honest about what I think about.

Speaker 1 What do you think about it?

Speaker 1 You know, being on the Japanese subway. Sometimes I'm like throwing a pitch.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 you daydream about throwing a pitch. I listen to the song and I daydream.
It's like saving people or like it's like hero shit. It's stupid.

Speaker 1 You listen to Pirates of the Caribbean while you're driving and daydream about being a hero.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 I can't help it. Shades my brain.
True. Thank you.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 I think you've talked about this before. Why does that bother you? It doesn't bother me.
I'm jealous.

Speaker 1 I just sit there and go, I'm a fucking piece of shit. I think those thoughts.
I'm not going to say dream about failures.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, it's not that I don't have those. Those are the pirates of the Caribbean and thinking about failures.

Speaker 1 It's so funny. I let everybody down.

Speaker 1 If I was in that mental state, I would never listen to it.

Speaker 1 I would never listen to it if I wasn't. You're feeling sad.
Yeah, I wouldn't have to. Do you want to bring you up a little, though? No, no.
If I'm like judgmental or anything about, no.

Speaker 1 Do you have like sad music you ever listen to when you're kind of sad? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm trying to think.

Speaker 1 Like Radiohead or something like that? No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I don't have anything. It'd be more like...

Speaker 1 If I need to have a cry, I have like movies that I can watch. I think we talked about this.
50-50? 50-50 got me.

Speaker 1 What's 50-50? There's just this scene at the end of it where he's about to go into surgery and he's just like

Speaker 1 trying to ask the doctor questions about what the surgery. And then he just goes, mom, and he puts his hand out.
And it just got me there.

Speaker 1 I told this story. I was on a first date with a girl.

Speaker 1 We saw that movie. Really? I had my arm around her.
And I was trying to hold in a cry so bad that I was like,

Speaker 1 my body was shaking. I was crying.

Speaker 1 I saw it and I bought it and I said, if I ever need to just get a cry, I'll watch that scene. It's been very effective.
That's kind of nice. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Can you cry while acting? That's the thing I always think about. I don't know.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I don't know. It's hard.
Yeah, I imagine. That'd be like a real weird thing.

Speaker 1 Even if you did it right, it would feel kind of weird too, where you'd be like, fuck, I'm crying in front of all these fucking people.

Speaker 1 I feel sure.

Speaker 1 I feel like pissed about that. Yeah.
That's pretty funny. Being in like a very serious scene, being worried about like everyone here is going to think I'm a fucking pussy.

Speaker 1 Cut, I'm not fucking crying for real.

Speaker 1 I don't even care about the script.

Speaker 1 I like, I can't wrap my head around that. That's such a wild thing to be able.

Speaker 1 I mean, I guess you could do it if you think of something sad enough, but like being able to do that in front of all those people, I'm always like, I'm just like fascinated by that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's kind of nuts.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't think I could, I don't think I could do it. You could definitely do it.
I could.

Speaker 1 You could definitely do it.

Speaker 1 You downplay at you. So good.
Steve all right

Speaker 1 but we did really appreciate going to the masters I know you did yeah

Speaker 1 I appreciated the way you handled yourself on the flight oh

Speaker 1 no you did great

Speaker 1 I got to turn it around because I got to fly and I want to fly and I went so we're going to be good that's a cure for panic attacks so if you just tell one person you're having a panic attack it does lessen it if you try to keep it to yourself you're fucked Chris Chain everybody talking to me yep yeah you can't you you can't keep it to yourself.

Speaker 1 You'll find it. The way they tried to get you to not be afraid of flying, I think, probably did more damage

Speaker 1 by making you fly a Cessna with a guy. Oh, a Samba.
Well, I did that on my own. I thought that that would, I thought that would help.
So,

Speaker 1 because I was going to go to an internship in Los Angeles when I was at Drexel and I had had like a problem flying. So, you know, I had to go.
I got the internship. I had a family friend that had a

Speaker 1 like a two-seater plane. Yeah.
And so I asked him, Would you mind taking me up to sort of try and break me out of this? So scary. It was terrifying.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He pulled it out. How did he get it? He pulled it out with his hands.
He was like a 55-year-old guy. Hey, yo.

Speaker 1 And hey, the hanger, he just like puts a hook around the front wheel and is wheeling the thing out. And I'm like, oh.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 I was telling him it was like one of the most embarrassing things I've ever said. But he, so he gets it out.

Speaker 1 He's going through his whole flight plan or whatever, checking it. And then, you know, you can only get in through one door.
Sure. Hey, yo.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 With a guy, you can only get it in through one door.

Speaker 1 You set up a crazy in your life.

Speaker 1 The 55-year-old pulled it out. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sweet man. Sweet man.

Speaker 1 Taster.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 And. Yeah, so he just like literally like yanked it out of his shed and was like, let's hop in this thing and fly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so we go through the whole thing of like, he's explaining to me what he's doing. He's really patient.
He's, you know,

Speaker 1 there's nobody around for any clear yells out of the thing, and then we start the engine, and it starts going. And, you know, my heart, you're wearing headphones, so that's helping.

Speaker 1 But I was like, is it going to be this loud? And he's like, no, it's going to be louder. And I'm like, okay.

Speaker 1 And then we got to the, you know, he's taxiing. And we get to the end of the runway and he calls out his tail sign or whatever it is.
I'm waiting for in my head.

Speaker 1 I'm going, I'm getting out of this thing.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he says, you know, preparing to depart, says his thing. And then I think, oh, somebody's going to come back, give him clearance, and then he'll, I'll say, Don,

Speaker 1 I'm not doing this.

Speaker 1 Have fun. The moment he said it, he was just putting that out to like any other pilot.
Yeah, I'm going. And he just goes.
And so then we're like, you know, this.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 then the moment we start taking off, I go, I'm doing it, Don.

Speaker 1 I'm doing it nuts.

Speaker 1 And he goes,

Speaker 1 He shushed me. And then there was like some ordinance where, because you know, there's like, I'm really doing it, Don.

Speaker 1 And then there's some ordinance because it was like flying right over a neighborhood. So you had to bank at a certain degree.
So I was like, I'm doing this shit. And then all of a sudden it's like,

Speaker 1 and I had these two, oh man, I had these two water bottles and I was just, they were crushed. And then I remember

Speaker 1 you were squeezing water bottles. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But now I'm remembering another embarrassing thing I said on a flight once because this, so after that, then I went to Florida and I was coming back to my friend and we were

Speaker 1 sitting there and the pilot gets on and he goes, just want to let everybody know we're going to hit some turbulence coming in. We're going to rock and roll.
And so then

Speaker 1 I look over. I'm obviously petrified.
and then we start hitting some turbulence. And my friend just starts laughing hysterically.

Speaker 1 And I was like, you're going to laugh at your friend at a time like this?

Speaker 1 And that's really embarrassing. You lashed out against him the way you lashed out against Sweet Drake.

Speaker 1 That's not my, it's my opinion. I don't like it.
It's a totally fair opinion. I play it a lot.

Speaker 1 And loud.

Speaker 1 I like my music loud, dude. Yeah, you do.

Speaker 1 So we're all yelling now.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you guys like the loud music on the plane?

Speaker 1 Oh, that seems like a bunch of no's.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it wasn't really committal.

Speaker 1 We like the music. I thought you guys were B guys.

Speaker 1 I was just trying to play that. You said double takes, what the fuck did you say?

Speaker 1 You just watched them go, huh?

Speaker 1 I thought you guys were bees.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I like the loud music going to play.

Speaker 1 It actually calms me down. It gets me thinking about other shit.
Yeah, I can see it kind of taking the edge off in a way. It's just blasting.
It's just party time.

Speaker 1 Just sucks. If you crash, I guess you might as well be blasting music while you crash.
Yeah. It's a difference.
See that? I listen to him howling.

Speaker 1 What's really happening, Don?

Speaker 1 It's really happening, Don.

Speaker 1 How is landing? How did Don treat you?

Speaker 1 Landing was cool. I mean, it just was.
I mean, when you're watching from the cockpit,

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 yeah, I mean, it was scary, but it was an interesting experience. Yeah, that's kind of nice.
Yeah. Those little planes are terrifying.

Speaker 1 I would never do it again. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's how I feel about skydiving. I'm like, my wife's always like, we had to go.
I'm like, I'm never going skydiving. Of course not.
Yeah, like, what the fuck? Why would I do that?

Speaker 1 She's like, it's fun. I'm like, no, not never in my my life.

Speaker 1 No desire. No, me neither.
Of course not.

Speaker 1 I can't. I just,

Speaker 1 I,

Speaker 1 I'd never. Yeah, I don't, like, mind heights that much, but I'm like, honestly, I don't feel, it seems like a lot of people.
I want to jump out of the fucking plane. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Like, obviously, I would get nervous, like, jumping off a plane, but it's just like, why even risk it at all?

Speaker 1 It's indescribable. Like, it's fine.

Speaker 1 She's done it. Yeah.
She loved it. I had a friend who used to skydive.
He got like licensed to like do it by himself. And he would literally like smoke a blunt and jump out of a plane.

Speaker 1 Oh my goodness, and then he would complain. He's like, They're fucking saying I smell like weed, it's fucking bullshit.

Speaker 1 It's like, dude, it's a huge liability to have you high at their place jumping out of a plane. So they're fucking really on my ass about this.

Speaker 1 And he would give the guy who packed his parachute, he would like pay him in weed. I'm like, not a good idea, dude.
Oh, my goodness. He's a maniac.
But he got licensed.

Speaker 1 He was doing it by himself, like all the time. He like loved it.

Speaker 1 But I don't know if I'd, I'd want, I that's the one thing I would say. I definitely want a guy strapped to my back.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 that once I want a dude on me. Yeah, I want a dude on me.
I for real want a dude. I want a daddy in this guy.
I want a daddy Be like you can do this yourself. I'm like nah man.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I want a daddy also that way if things go wrong We just fully smash for sure on impact for sure you get to experience the hardest fucking plowing oh my god true from the fucking stratosphere

Speaker 1 just your skull starts to cave in you're like hold on just give me

Speaker 1 fuck I wish I knew knew I liked this while I was alive. Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 Imagine how much of a blast you could have if you figured out you'd love that.

Speaker 1 Getting smashed? Yeah.

Speaker 1 World would be your oyster. Yeah.
Crazy. You know what? I wonder about too.
Actually, we'll save it for the Patreon. Yeah, let's switch over to the Patreon.
Yes. God bless.
Bye.

Speaker 1 What a cliffhanger.

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