Ep 573 - Angry Jets

Wow wow wes

fat boys run

oh come on

hello this is Sean Gardini I just wanted to chime in to let the audio listener know

that uh that I'm currently playing a video of Matt's race with Haas so if you'd like to see that switch over to the video

Keep going, Matt!

He's catching up!

Some words of encouragement from Mrs.

McCusker.

For those of you who don't know, Matt was racing his cousin, Haas,

this weekend on the Jersey Shore, so this is the footage of that.

I think the end is coming now, and Matt wins, so it was a good effort by both of them.

But congratulations to Matt.

He finished with about his seven minute 30 second mile

on the sand too, by the way.

And I think Haas was about 20, 15, 20 seconds behind him.

So congrats to both competitors

and congrats to Matt

for winning the race.

Enjoy the podcast, everybody.

Goodbye.

You're all firing on all cylinders right now.

Pressure cord, dude.

The console war is over.

The black nerds have broken the story.

The black nerds are on it.

For real, crazy.

That's a big deal, dude.

It's been a 20-year war.

It has.

It's been our whole lives

since PS1, Xbox.

And PlayStation was in the Bundaroo.

Wow.

PlayStation had the big Bundaroo

to try to win the war.

Wait, so what crossed over?

Both of their two biggest franchises.

Spider-Man and Halo.

Yeah.

Halo is Xbox only, right?

Yeah.

It does feel like PlayStation kind of won, though.

Like, if it would have been Uncharted or Last of Us Switch,

that is true.

Halo.

Halo's the biggest one.

Halo's the biggest one on Xbox.

Spider-Man's big, but I don't think it's their big.

Yeah, I feel like I don't know anyone who plays fucking Spider-Man.

They all everybody plays Spider-Man, dude.

Really?

They love Spider-Man.

What do you, it's just you, Spidey, rolling around?

They make you.

That's your favorite part of the game is playing this magic chain.

I couldn't beat the game because of that part.

It made me check out for like a week.

Spider-Man was just Grand Theft Auto?

Kind of?

Isn't it like an open world?

You get to just

swing around this show.

Soder would play.

If you smoke weed and like wrestling, Spider-Man is for you.

I mean, Spider-Man's for anybody.

If you had a PlayStation, you'd have play Spider-Man.

No, I wouldn't.

You could play Spider-Man now.

Yeah, you could play Spider-Man now.

I bet you I don't.

That's your loss, brother.

I'm just waiting for Vietnam hell at loose.

I mean, that does look sick.

Oh.

Wait, so is it like,

so it's like GTA, but like, why wouldn't you?

GTA has got to be better than Spider-Man.

Definitely.

Why sell me on YAU to play Spider-Man over GTA?

Swinging Through the City.

They perfected Swinging Through the City.

And it's so good.

Swinging through the City.

I would watch Shoulder Play.

Swinging was broken.

Yeah, okay.

When it first came out, because I didn't buy it, but I went on YouTube and just watched like 10 minutes of somebody just swinging from end to end.

That makes sense.

Swinging through the city and even just kind of.

And Soda was high as shit.

We didn't talk.

I would just watch him play a video game silently.

He was so high.

He got high as fuck, dude.

I forgot how high he got.

I would just go sit at his house and he would just get high as fuck.

If we had a dynasty, we were playing together.

I'd be defense, or he'd play defense.

I was offense.

That's nice.

It was nice.

It was good bro time.

Yeah.

Except he'd get high as shit.

Sometimes I'd show up after a couple brewskies.

brewskis the colorado buffaloes would lose dude the the uh dinosaur game i believe it was i believe it was gabe who broke the news of the dinosaur game dinosaur game is pretty sick what is that game called where you start as a tiny little baby dinosaur and you slowly yeah it's pretty great i was when i when i did uh

uh whatchamacallit dr phil live Soda was on the show and like backstage I told him about that dinosaur game and he was like yo what the fuck and I was like showing him videos he's like y'all gotta get this

I figured he would appreciate it he would, dude, just laying up at like two in the morning, just being a baby dinosaur and trying to get bigger.

Is it's first of all, I it would

catch me in that.

I could get caught up in that

for sure in that life.

I've watched videos about it.

It's pretty great.

It looks so tight.

Yeah.

Wasn't there a game where you started off as like a little amoeba and you had a.

I might just be thinking of an episode of like a fucking

huh?

The aisle, right?

You start off as a little baby amoeba.

You got to fucking become like a dominant life form.

That's awesome.

That's a good game.

So, huh?

Was it called Spore?

No, I think it was

the Isle.

Or is that the same game where you start as an Amoeba and turn into a dinosaur?

I don't know.

I'm just throwing stuff out there.

I love you.

I'm just throwing stuff out.

Toejam and Earl ruled.

Yeah, shit ruled.

Battle Toads.

Battle Toads.

I never realized Toe Jam and Earl were black.

I should have put that together.

Are they?

They gotta be.

They're walking around with fucking boom boxes on their shoulders.

Either that or Puerto Rican.

This is the country.

Toe Jam and Earl.

It's crazy.

Yeah, Toj Minerl are definitely black.

Do you think Mario's going to come to Nintendo in Xbox?

I mean, PlayStation Xbox.

Do you think Mario's going to come into the Xbox?

That's all they got.

They just came out with a new system.

They can't.

Yeah, Nintendo's not giving up the goods on Mario.

He's bigger than ever right now.

That Mario movie fucking rules, dude.

I still haven't seen it.

Dude, I'm telling you, I was like trying, I think I said it before, I was trying to hate on it, watching a guy watch it in front of me on a flight, and I was like, fucking grown, man.

Watch the Mario movie.

And I watched the entire, he had headphones in.

I watched no sound Mario movie for a whole flight.

It's like, yo, this is sick.

Yeah.

Starts in Brooklyn.

You fucking fall through a pipe.

It's good.

The WAPs?

They're in Brooklyn.

Yeah.

The WAPs are in Brooklyn.

The Mario Brother losers in Brooklyn, dude.

Nobody believes in them.

Classic WAPs.

Dude, they're fucking families.

That's the business plumbing.

Plumbing.

They say they do their own TV commercial and they're like, I can't even find the live action one anymore.

I searched for it.

I loved it.

I love that.

John Layuzamo, bro.

What?

The pastor?

Fucking

Bob Haskins.

Okay.

Who the fuck is Bob Haskins?

I love the.

You guys know the Bob Haskins.

You guys know Bob Haskins.

What'd he play, Luigi?

Oh, he played Smee.

What?

He played Smee and Hook.

That's Bob.

That guy, he crushed me, dude.

Yeah, he did.

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I'll give Bob Haskins

me and Mario.

He's from

a British actor.

Yeah, he's a beast.

He was also in Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

Really?

He was the detective.

Yeah, we should have known Haskins.

Haskins over, bro.

Okay.

He was a hell of a run, dude.

Fair enough.

Super Mario, bro, is the movie.

He was Mario.

I don't remember the live-action.

Oh, yeah.

It was the one where the Goombas looked exactly like Chris Wood.

Koopa.

It looked exactly like him.

The Koopas.

Yes.

It's the Woodman.

Let me see it.

I'm going to see this live-action Mario, man.

The live-action Mario movie was funny because their last names was Mario.

He was like, I'm Mario Mario, and I'm Luigi Mario.

That was pretty funny.

I just remember being a kid watching it, getting hyped.

I liked it.

Yo, this is.

I can't believe the console wars are over.

This is like for real, life-changing.

Yeah, it feels like a wave of relief.

The woodman?

Yeah, I see them.

Damn, this shit looked fucking sick, actually.

It was sick.

I don't think it's streaming anywhere.

It's streaming on Amazon.

Well, you mean Amazon has it?

I haven't looked for it.

That's what ChatGPP said.

Those fuckers.

Chat PPPP.

I'm going to watch that tonight.

This is a big night.

Oh.

I'm just watching people run routes.

Can't wait for football.

Dude, you know what, LeMaire, last week we were at the creek and LeMaire tossed on soap, like the best of soap box racing.

Ever watched that before?

Yeah, like the Red Bull and the dudes do their own cars.

Yeah, that was fucking awesome.

We just missed it in Iowa.

When are you guys with me in Iowa?

Nebraska and Iowa.

Bro, that shit fucking rule.

It might have just been in Nebraska.

I forget which one.

Or Iowa.

It was that day.

We got in too late.

They were like,

I just cleared the streets.

Oh, dude, I was watching like heavy critiques.

I'm like, what the fuck are they doing?

They're like, dude, it's soapbox right.

Like, just have fun and watch it.

And I was like, no, I need to do it.

Does it remind you guys Mario and Luigi?

Huh?

Yeah, I don't know.

No, Mario and Luigi's box, one of the cars.

Do they really?

Yeah, I've seen Mario and Luigi get wrecked in Red Bull.

Oh, shit.

I swear to God.

They had some cool ones, man.

One of them was just like a giant castle.

They get fucked up.

Yeah, they get launched.

Yeah, how do you like practice that?

Because you must get hurt.

Like, I could see the crowd.

If you put up the Red Bull decals, obviously I'll go all out.

But

just practicing that, you can get so fucking hurt doing that.

Yeah, I doubt they even practice that much.

True.

I think you have a couple beers and go, fuck it.

We built this thing.

I'm going to slide it down the road in fucking Des Moines, Iowa.

That's a good day.

I was getting kind of frustrated where I was like, dude, like, you think these things would have better steer?

I guess, you know, it's just people building them, but like, I was getting like kind of pissed, dude.

Like, Wright Brothers level cars.

Like, this thing's fucking never gonna work.

Yeah, I was like, dude, can I see one guy smoke this course?

And it was like, nope, nobody does it.

I mean, it's you know, hats off to doing it, but

have you ever seen the Bobby, a Bobby, Barbie car races?

No, there's guys,

it's it's like in Texas.

These guys, they go down this big hill and

Barbie cars.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And they just fuck around Barbie cars.

Talking like a power wheel kind of thing?

Yeah.

The power wheels?

Yeah, like Barbies and power wheels.

Yeah, the little Jeep things.

Yeah.

M-Jeep thing.

Yeah.

They take it down a hill and they fucking wipe it out.

Oh, those things would roll.

Yeah.

If you just put them on a hill, they would start moving.

Yeah, I've watched tons of videos of...

just kids getting fucked up on those things whipping it around hitting a curb that's great

yeah now what a lot of people People get ejected from the cars.

The kids stay in the hobby.

They never get ejected.

They're not like the Saudis.

We have one.

We have a power wheel.

And

Maya's pretty good at driving it, but then Chloe will go gremlin mode and put her foot on the gas.

Where Maya's like, stop.

It's my turn to drive.

From the past.

She's already practicing her fucking crazy girlfriend.

She's already going to be a crazy girlfriend.

She's like, what did you do?

They were pulling into the garage.

You might have to be all careful.

And Chloe's went, bank, gremlin mode.

They almost hit the car.

It was so fucking funny.

Stop.

Stop.

Total gremlin mode.

Yeah, I get, yeah.

Now a lot of parents have them on remote control.

Put your kid in like the power wheel, but you sit and control it remotely.

That'd be so fun.

No, it's not great parenting.

It'd be fun to do.

Well, it's like safer.

Yeah, I know.

But you got to let them ride, bro.

Yeah, you got to let them ride.

But that'd be nice.

Dude, it'd be so funny fucking with them.

Yeah.

Just forward, backwards, forward.

That's a good DUI.

True.

You can just sit in a lawn chair, have a couple drinks, fucking race kids.

Just one eye in your kids.

Give me a controller.

Give me a controller.

We can fucking Mario Kart with actual kids.

That would be fun.

That's awesome.

Fuck, that'd be so fun.

Good call.

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Root beer floats?

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dude i'm uh i got crushed the other day by a piece of i'm not even gonna say it's bad information i think i didn't take it in properly but i was i've been trying to like cut down on my caffeine because it's it's been getting a little bit out of control so i'm just like my brain's just looking for reasons to keep taking taking in lots of caffeine.

And I saw, I didn't even watch the video, I saw like the thumbnail of a Huberman video where he's like, you want to, you want to skyrocket your cortisol.

It was like a chart on his Instagram.

I don't think it was a video showing like why you want to skyrocket your cortisol.

So I was like, he's right.

I should drink as much coffee as fast as I can as soon as I wake up.

And dude, I like had a whale of a day.

That's nice.

I had like, do you ever drink so much?

You feel like you're just like, your innards are just like, I almost feel like mechanical.

All the time.

Dude, I had.

This is my second cold brew today maybe you can relate then yeah because i had like i was i'd i'd spiked my cortisol i'm like all right i'm totally on protocol with huberman right now i'll i maybe maybe he was like do it through exercise i didn't listen to the thing i was just like i'm just gonna crush coffee cold brew right in the morning and then i ended up having like a genuinely stressful day and was like i thought i was gonna die i was it me up i'm trying to get back off the bean i abused it you're good at tracking what's doing what i'll just be like i had a good day I don't know what the fuck caused that.

Yeah, this is a good day.

This is a terrible day.

I knew it was the coffee, though, because

I have down kind of to a science.

And then it was just like, I was like taking a walk with my wife.

She's like, you want to get some coffee?

And I was like, yeah, I'll fucking chug a cold brew.

Huberman told me I needed to create a break.

He said I need to.

After I already had like a 24-ounce cup, I was like, it's time to spike the cortisol.

That's my problem.

Were you guys walking in the morning in your neighborhood?

Nice walk, yeah.

Nice walk.

You're living a real life.

Yeah.

That's crazy.

I'm just walking with my babe.

Yeah.

I want to start going full old Indian man and staying like 10 steps behind her with my hands behind my back.

That's the dream.

Taking your babe for a walk.

American women could never stand for that.

No.

No.

They're so mad if you were 10 feet behind them.

Yeah.

You have to walk side by side.

Literally, the only time I'm 10 feet behind her when she's already mad at me and she storms ahead.

They have to be side by side.

Even in New York, where everyone's on the sidewalk, you're like, get in single file.

Yeah, single file is up.

While people are passing.

Yeah, babes like to keep you right at their hip.

Yes.

They also like bump into you.

They'll like walk ahead.

They're not you.

They're really bad at walking.

Oh, they'll pop.

Yo, they'll bumpy.

They like can't stay in a straight line.

Yeah.

That's why they need you next to them.

Yeah.

I'm happy to have them.

Yeah, my babe will hit the fucking, she'll hit the jets on me.

She'll hit turbo.

If she's mad, she'll fucking speed ahead.

And so it's always just like, bro, you slow your little fucking ass down.

She gets mad, walks as fast as she can.

I'm like, bro, I could fucking smoke you right now.

You ever hit the slowdown when they speed up?

That's my move.

Yeah, that's good move.

When she's mad and speeds up.

I go slower, and I'm like, we'll just part ways.

Well, it's nice when you go slow, and then they turn around and you go,

You're all the way up there.

What the fuck are you doing all the way up there?

I didn't see you back there.

Yeah, you fucking did.

You knew what you were doing.

You knew exactly what the fuck you're up to.

Yeah,

the Jets, it's so funny.

Angry Jets is crazy.

Oh, Angry Jets is so funny.

I see you hit the Angry Jets.

I'll hit them.

Video game, Angry Jets.

I'll run.

I'll shop.

I'll run away.

Angry Jets is she hit me with the diabolical angry jets because we were like heading into like a preschool thing, like a, you know, like two nights before school.

I forgot about how much I fucking hate angry jets.

Bro, we're late.

We're late for a dinner.

She's going to rush in before me.

Oh, it gets me.

Out of the car, into the front door.

You're going to run through the front yard to get there.

We got to walk in together.

Yes.

This is how diabolical it was because I'm driving and we get into the fucking parking lot.

I don't know why.

And I've talked to other people.

Babes do this.

Well, they'll be like, oh, there's a spot right there.

And it's like, yo, man, I'm driving.

When I don't, like, without you, I don't circle parking lots helplessly.

Like, I know how to pull into a fucking spot.

If you say it, I'm not going to bark in that spot.

That's right.

Now that's the worst spot.

Yeah, I'm just, no, I'm not, but I'll park all the way to fuck over here.

So I started just being like, I can park the car.

I don't need your input.

I know where I'm going because it's like, it's a new place.

We don't, I don't, I really don't know where I'm going.

I don't have no idea where I'm going.

So she hit the angry jets.

Let's start with the conquistador.

You go, I know exactly where I'm going.

Shit.

She hit the angry jets on me, and I like kind of could have gotten lost.

And I had no choice but to fucking hurry up.

I was like, fucking bitch.

I had to fucking hurry up real quick.

She could have lost.

If I got lost, I would have never found her.

I was in a parking lot.

He'd be the dumbest guy ever.

I would have found it eventually.

But I was just like, she hit the angry jets.

And I was like, god damn it.

I actually do got to speed up right now because I don't know where the hell I'm going.

They like sent out a video of like exactly where to go.

And I was like, do you watch it?

I was like, yeah, I'll watch it.

I didn't watch it, so I don't know where to go.

Yeah, that was the last set of angry jets I got.

But then it was cool.

She chilled out.

Yeah.

The angry jets.

Yeah.

I had a girlfriend that would be so mad if we were late for anything.

Yeah.

Like lose her mind.

Like it was like a mental issue.

If we were like 10 minutes, like we were late to go to my parents' house for dinner.

Is your parents?

It's my parents.

Like, oh, we can be three hours late.

Yeah, it's all good.

It doesn't matter.

She lost her mind in the car.

Silent car ride, angry jets to the front door.

And then right when you walk in, hey, how are you guys?

You fucking psycho.

Nothing, bro.

That's crazy.

You're fighting and they get a phone call, and they're like, hey, you're just like, yeah, where's that fucking energy towards me?

Yeah, give me that energy.

Yeah, why can't I get fucking hey?

But we hit that.

They get that from us, though.

Yeah.

They hear me talking on the phone with having a blast.

One of you guys.

Yeah.

Yo, what's up?

Then she answers the phone.

It's like, yeah.

No, nothing.

What did you talk about on the podcast?

Nothing.

I swear to God, nothing.

I don't remember.

I don't remember.

I don't remember.

I have no idea.

Okay, well, if you're rushing me off the phone, I'm not rushing you off the phone.

I'm fucking normal.

I don't know why you're saying that.

Dude, it can be a fucking hour-long phone call if I'm like,

all right, I'm going to head out.

It's like, fine.

What?

She has to say goodbye.

I know.

Yeah,

the babe has to say goodbye.

Oh, okay.

What are you doing?

I just, I don't want to be on the phone.

At the Bros here this week, we were hitting some pretty hard good nights.

Really?

Gabe and those guys?

A couple good nights that week.

It was uncomfortable.

What do you mean?

It's like.

Everybody goes.

Oh, you're just chilling.

Watching Sicario.

Sicario ends.

You go,

all right.

Good night.

Good night, guys.

And it's like, all right, good night, bro.

And you close the door behind you in your bedroom and go, the fuck?

Is that guy?

That guy put a hit on me.

It's queer than the blazes.

Yeah, that was.

I remember sharing the hotel room with Sid the Kid because I would go do the small rooms and get light out.

Sharing the room.

Yeah.

And just have to be like,

Good night, dude.

Because it gets weird to do the silence.

Yeah, you got to whisper at night.

Yeah.

You go, hey, Matt.

What are you thinking about?

Sleep the hood.

Good night, dude.

Because we watched that documentary about

Sid the Kid, though.

Said the kid was great.

Bees are in.

Me and Bees were sharing rooms.

It's just drunk, dude, snoring.

It was crazy.

Yeah, me and Sid the Kid got stoned and watched that HBO documentary about the heroin addicts followed over 30 years.

And the guy threw it at the end.

He dies and explodes.

His body, apparently, even dead bodies.

The guy melts at the end.

He melts.

And we just just watched a guy turn into a puddle and then just like turn it off.

We're like, good night, man.

Good shit tonight in the little room in St.

Louis.

Good for you.

I mean, it's so funny the difference of you and Sid the Kid.

Yeah.

It was me, Ocami, and Beezer.

There wasn't one good night.

Yeah.

No one remembered one night.

Every night people were like,

you know what?

Fuck you.

Although that's three's company.

That's someone's

squad.

Someone's sharing rooms.

Usually I started stacking those two at the end.

Yeah, you can do that.

But I would split rooms with the guys.

My favorite story I've said a million times is: me and Beezer were sleeping

twin beds.

No, no, no.

But I woke up in the middle of the night and he was facing the same way as me.

The distance was less than this.

We were laying on our sides.

He was awake.

And I was like, dude, what the fuck?

I had to roll over.

Nothing worse than being like 30, 30 some people.

You're old and shit.

We were waiting to each other in a hotel room in fucking like Cleveland.

My dad would hold it down.

I'm sorry, I keep cutting you off.

It was also dark enough that it took me a second to be like, are his eyes open or what?

Are we making eye contact?

It was just the beast's face.

Yo, dude, what's up?

God damn it, dude.

I fucked it.

My life sucks.

My dad would have to get like, he would get like a job somewhere kind of far away.

It would be like a three-hour drive.

So he would get the shittiest fucking motels.

It would just be like me, my dad, my brother, my uncle Doc, one of my cousins, and like four Peruvian dudes.

And we would all be in like shitty motels.

And I would just like share a room with like one of my uncles and be, it's hell.

It's disgusting.

It's being like 27, sharing a shitty motel with your mother.

My dad had no problem with anyone.

Oh, dude.

Walking through fucking sucks.

Waking you up at 5 a.m.

with them going like, oh,

the loudest shit you've ever heard.

I'm just sunburnt for being outside all day.

We ate at the worst possible place, just in the middle of like nowhere, Delaware.

My dad's like, you believe how big this fucking steak is?

Just eats a 24-ounce steak.

It was 12 bucks.

Man, that was great.

Just lays in a room, it's like

fucking farting his ass off.

Dude, me and Bees,

we were like a couple.

He would snore.

I'd throw pillows at him.

It was, yeah.

Great times.

Yeah.

Yeah, my dad still held down.

Like, if he went away to work by himself, he would just eat ice cream and steak every day.

He was just like a complete bad kid.

Ice cream, steak, milkshakes.

No one's around.

Yeah, he's just you and the mom was in there.

It's just you and the ice cream.

There's nothing else in the universe.

He got his

atrial fibulation, whatever.

Atrial fibulation.

You got to fix.

He's like, I'm like, dude, you got to start chilling.

He's like, my God, same thing.

I got a brand new heart.

Fixed is AFib?

They go up through your leg.

Oh, okay.

And send a thing and like cauterize the vein.

They go like through your whole body and cauterize the vein.

And apparently, I was talking to one of my friends who does like medical stuff.

And he said, if you, they're doing surgery and they have like your heart open, sometimes you'll just go into like AFib.

And he said they just take a little thing and tap it with a tool and it sends it back into regular beating.

Oh, shit.

That's crazy.

What do we got here?

Amber.

Ambi.

Oh, crap.

Well, missing child.

Yeah, if you see her, black shirt, black shorts, wears glasses.

Fucked up.

Why are you looking around?

Oh, the description was Nate.

Nate's girlfriend put out an ambrolert.

What was the description?

Black shoes, black shoes.

Kind of was, but it was a girl.

This is zesty.

Be on the lookout for a zesty guy.

18-year-old white guy.

Be on the lookout for a zesty guy in a rickshaw.

I wish just once to like finally see a guy.

I get those ambrolers all the time.

I'm helpless.

They put out a fucking wide net, net, dude.

That's probably in like Houston.

It's in like, yeah, it's in like Saledo, Texas.

So hopefully nothing bad happens.

Then we'll be on video being like, it's fucking date.

It's usually a parent.

Yeah.

The amber alert is usually.

That's a youngster for that, though.

What do you mean?

They said the guy, the suspect who has

the child is only 18.

Oh, never mind.

So maybe it's, maybe it's a, you know, who fucking knows.

It's not great.

It could be an older brother.

Older brothers that I'm getting my sister.

But yeah, usually it is a parent being like fucking.

That's usually a dad.

Yeah.

Or a mom going without custody.

Usually dad.

Moms have to fuck up so bad in Aki custody.

It's not even funny.

It is how you end up on an ambulance, though.

True, true.

Yeah.

Yeah, trying to do the right thing.

You're a crazy bitch.

I'm going to call the cops.

I'm doing it.

That ride would be tight, though.

You're getting ice standing.

When you drive and you see the fucking description of your car on a fucking road sign, you go, ooh.

You're at the aquarium.

You're like, just give me 10 more minutes, man.

I'm just trying to take the kid to the aquarium.

That is such a fucking hellhole of a situation, man.

Losing your kids?

Yeah, like

having the state do us.

You're literally not allowed to see them.

Yeah, I was.

Too much partying.

I was a, I, like, volunteered briefly way, way, way back as like a volunteer for like assisting in like family court where like you had to like, I had to like go talk to kids who were in like up for foster stuff.

And there was one dude, there was a dad who,

I mean, he was, he, you know, he needed to do better, but the funniest part was he failed the drug test for cocaine, but he knew the exact like parts per million in your bloodstream that it was allowed to be.

He goes, what are you talking about?

My levels are fine.

And the judge was like, no, I gave you mine, which is like, if you have any, it's over.

He's like, well, that's unfair.

Well, that's not right.

Cocaine's going to get in there.

Oh, fuck.

He was like, I had the

fucking bump.

He goes, I took a drug test and it didn't come up.

She's like, that's why I gave you mine.

He was like, this is bullshit, dad.

This is fucking unfair.

This is kind of bullshit.

Let's boy, have a bump, dude.

Can't even see his kid, dude.

Obviously, he's going to do a bump.

Just wanted a bump.

Can you imagine not being able to see your kid?

You're at the bar.

Someone's like, I got some Coke.

Yeah, fuck it.

Yeah, for sure.

Shit sucks.

Yeah, or feel good for 10 minutes.

Although he might have been at the bar two years before where he had his kid and was like,

I love some fucking coke.

That's for sure where it started.

But at this point, it's like, what the fuck?

Yeah, at this point, once you get, yeah, once you're not allowed, it's bump city.

It's bump time.

It's bump time.

But I mean, he's supposed to be, I think he was in trouble for not making enough money to get to his kids.

Jeremy.

That's even more bump time.

I don't have any money and someone goes, do you want a bump?

You go, yes.

That's why he doesn't have money.

I'm not going to.

I know.

True.

I mean,

it's a chicken in the egg.

It's not.

It's definitely the bump's fault.

But once the bump's taken over, dude, you go, fuck it.

Yeah, true.

You got to just me and the bump.

Yeah, or just be like, yo, let's get this Coke up and see you fucking get a job on a forklift.

Like, let's fucking move this.

Let's go.

That's nice.

Yeah, let's get the bumps up.

You can go to bumps the lines.

Yeah.

Get you a warehouse job.

We'll be doing fucking lines.

And the judge is sending you, like, when bro has the bag, Schmeagel means

a knife.

That would be nice to get, like, because you do have, like, deadbeat fathers and just being like, yo, put them on amphetamines, bro.

Get these guys cranked up.

Get a broom in their hands.

Get them on the fucking construction site sweeping up.

Yeah.

Get them methed out.

Go the opposite rate.

I did it and almost worked.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, he methed the boys up and said, we love Czechoslovakia.

Czechoslovaki is ours, dude.

That would be it.

It's like meth these guys up and get them on, get them in some grind set mentality.

Because, you know, maybe they're going the complete different, you know, wrong direction with it.

If you're in an office not doing meth, what are you doing?

It's a fair point.

That's crazy.

You got to be stemmed up.

Offices.

I've stemmed up and gone to work, and it was the best day of my life.

It's awesome.

I was walking fast around.

I was fucking, I was being mad, walking fast everywhere.

Going to, you know what?

I like working at this garage.

I could work here the rest of my life.

Doing demo with the coffee was the best.

Just crushing like a

24-ounce

speaking of the devil, there's some coffee here.

Ooh.

LeMay's quick to his face.

I used to work for my dad and just crush coffee and just like break stuff.

It's fucking sick.

Yeah.

Just drop entire, drop ceilings, let them fall.

Yeah, Beezer gave me Adderall and I was at Toyota selling fucking

mufflers and shit.

I acted like I knew what I was talking about.

When I was on Adderall, I knew cars.

You were Elliot Army.

Yeah.

I was fully Andy Elliott.

I was going, were you fucking not going to take this?

Listen to

Ducted Muking Wife, you asshole.

Shout out to the bro.

True.

We need to get him in here, man.

He'll come.

Yeah, we got to get him in here, bro.

Get the bag up, man.

We can all get shredded.

We should take our shirts off for him and just fucking smother him.

Dude, I would, he would murder me.

You think so?

If he was like, popped your top off?

Devastating.

He might change my life, though.

That's what he does.

He motivates me.

True.

I could give him a hug and be like, thank you, bro.

Yeah.

If I needed to be publicly humiliated on the internet.

I saw a guy who popped his shirt off and then proposed to his girlfriend

at the Army convention.

Proposed to his girlfriend at the

Army with his shirt off.

Yeah, he popped his shirt off and he big-upped him.

Which I will say, you know, everyone likes to say, you know, the dark side of it is the body shaving, all that stuff.

That's not great.

But imagine Elliot being like, bro, you're so fucking jacked right now.

That would be nice.

And then you propose to your wife, and then Elliot's just like, let's fucking go.

That would be sick.

That would be so sick.

Yeah.

You watch the video like 10 years later, and you're like, yeah, this was a good idea.

Having Andy Elliott get hyped on you would be so sick.

But yeah, when she leaves you, you're back to being fat.

You're watching your fucking wedding tape.

Time to grind.

You're sitting there.

No, that is bump time, dude.

Damn it, dude.

I used to be so skinny.

Andy Elliott said I was jacked at my wedding.

Y'all have a bump.

Having your marriage fall apart, and all you have left is your video of you, shirtless at the Elliott Army, prosic deroid.

That'd be devastating.

Although that guy's fucking probably making six figures a month, dude.

So at least five a month, so you know, shut the fuck up.

Six figs grinding.

He's grinding his fucking ass off.

My hard work paid off.

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I know this is Shopify he, but bro,

it's so funny that the prompts be like, what would you guys do without each other?

All right, Shopify.

I'd be literally filling buckets of rocks in front of my dad and going, you see how fucking strong I am, dad?

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I think, honestly, we might both be doing that.

I think I probably would have had a job at your dad's

rock company

going,

look at these rocks.

Watch my friend Shane.

He can lift four buckets of rocks right now.

I can do it once.

Then I'm going to be out of breath.

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Man, dude,

I started to say I didn't finish the race.

Oh, yeah.

I'll stop cutting you off.

No, dude.

I'm stimmed up, dude.

I'm bumped up.

It's Tim first Tim right now.

It's bumped city.

But yeah, dude, it was supposed to be hard sand.

So I show up and I was kind of nervous.

I was like, fuck, man, he ran the 630 on a treadmill, which I knew, like, you know, like, he's not battling the elements.

So I had that on my side.

But I was like, still 15 seconds ahead of me.

But we get there, and there's like this hurricane that's just like bouncing around the ocean right now.

And apparently, there was a storm, I guess, a week or two before I came there that like transformed the entire beach.

Yeah.

So like he was, you know, he stays there all summer.

So he was like, he knew it was like, yeah, it's hard sand.

We'll be fine.

I show up, dude.

It was like soft, like inches of soft sand.

So we had to run like three lifeguard stands down, which is a half a mile, then back.

So it was like a whole mile.

Dude, the first quarter mile was fucking soft, super, super soft, like top of the beach soft sand.

That was, I don't know if it was dry.

I can't even, I don't know if it was dry or wet or what, but it was fucking like your whole foot sank down in it.

So we did a quarter mile in that.

And I'm checking my pace.

He was pushing like a five minute, 30 second mile.

And then fucking like the softest sand imaginable and i'm just trailing him like there's no way like this is yeah

you gotta tip your hat yeah i was like this is suicide so i kind of slowed down behind him and he eventually slowed down

and we got to that third lifeguard stand we came around and i was just going to follow him the whole way but i was like let me push the pace a little bit and see what you got in the tank pushed the pace turned around and he was he was lagging so i was like oh he's playing with my head man he's gonna come flying up behind me so i like gave it a good quarter mile push again, turned around.

I was like, oh my God, he was back there.

Yeah.

And then I forgot that I had pushed the pace, but now I have to do a whole other quarter mile and like the softest fucking sand imaginable.

So I was dying.

And then I was like, all right, I see the finish line.

And Chloe was like, pick me up.

And I honestly picked her up.

Of course.

Wholesome as hell.

It was, it was a quiet.

It was wholesome.

It's a quiet flex, though.

It was wholesome, but the flex coming off the flex.

You got to come from his perspective on this.

It's a flex.

The flex of a guy holding his child

crossing the finish line.

She's She's 35 pounds.

Going, thank you, God.

Thank you.

I love my beautiful family.

And you're back there dying and fucking short.

He was in the Sriracha singlet.

He was in a Sriracha singlet.

And in a singlet.

But he had the shorts.

I also, I was telling you, props to him for not.

I would have, second you took the lead.

Dude, he would have sat in the sand.

That's rather laid in the sand than gone in the water.

That's what I said.

Dude, you took that seriously?

That's so good.

I was just fucking with you to try to make you run a mile.

No, I had nothing but respect because he pushed it so hard, finished it out after coming off of like a pretty serious medical thing.

Yeah.

And it was like, dude, you are a fucking psycho.

Just stay for a month.

Dude, it was for real the hardest shit.

It was the hardest kind of race I've ever done.

Yeah.

Just running in sand.

Your wife sent me some videos.

It was nice.

Then she did the start off.

Start off with so mean.

Start off with so funny.

And she was like, look at these two fat boys running.

I was like, she's so mean to me, dude.

Yeah, that's funny.

She saw my breath all the time.

She was so proud of you, though.

She was proud.

And you came back.

She was pumped, but it was also like.

But yeah, if you're an onlooker, you got to be like, damn.

We were getting someone who was an insane person.

We were getting some weird looks because we were like right with each other, running, like trudging through the sand.

But then afterwards, there was like a

I guess he was a life.

I met one of the lifeguards there.

He's a fan of the Cass.

He's a man.

But there was another guy who was fucking sprinting.

After we were done, I think one of the lifeguards got him.

Got him charged up.

Got him charged up, and he was sprinting.

He said, Nobody's going to outwork me.

Nobody's going to outwork me today.

He was sprinting in the fucking sand.

But yeah, the race was sick.

But, dude, I watched a thing today on Twitter where a marathon mom, like the runner lady, her whole family was there and her kid, same situation was like reached out.

Like, mom, picked me up and she blew past her whole family.

Yeah.

And she was just like, fuck off and cross the finish line.

It was like,

I couldn't do that because there was a part of me being like, I don't want to fuck up my time, but I was like, I got to pick up my sweet angel, trot her across the finish.

But I think I did probably like seven something, I think.

I'm actually, let me check.

I think I did like.

Seven something in the sand is.

It's not bad.

You're moving, bro.

I was, it felt so fucking slow.

But it was cool.

It was a good, you know, it was all, to me, I was like ready to trash talk, but I was like, nah, it was all

props to the hoss, man, because that was for real, like an insane display that he was able to do that.

I can't find my fucking workouts.

It was about seven-something.

That's something to be proud of.

It's whatever.

No, you should be proud.

I hit the track.

I got back Monday.

I hit the track Tuesday.

I hit the track hard again.

I just thought I was going to die.

That was after my cortisol spike.

I was like, I got to go.

I ran the day after my cortisol spaz and for real thought I was having a heart attack.

I finished.

What is cortisol?

It's a stress hormone.

It's just like.

Did you spike your stress with.

Dude, I should read the whole post.

I just saw the graphic.

Any excuse to fucking chug

some Joe in the morning.

I was like, you know what, Huberman, you're making a lot of sense right now.

Let me just crush.

So I need to drink more coffee earlier.

That way my cortisol crashes.

It's the same excuse people are like, you're supposed to drink wine.

It's good for you.

No, you're not.

Apparently, you didn't.

Well, the study apparently was completely funded by alcohol and wine.

Yeah.

Like 100.

Wine did the Reservatrol.

That was their big thing.

There was an antioxidant in grapes called Reservatrol that's apparently good for you.

Yeah.

And they always go to Europe.

They're like, this is why Europeans are so healthy.

They drink wine with every meal.

I think it's probably also a social thing.

You know, if you're hanging out with people, you're going to have a happier,

better life.

You're less likely to

lay around.

It's the hangout.

It's the chill.

It's the vibe.

It's the B-dubs.

It's the B-dubs council.

I hit a B Dubs council in

Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Did you really?

Yeah.

How was it?

Hit the council for the UFC on Saturday.

Oh, that's nice.

Yeah, it was great.

You went to the dubs?

Yeah.

Assembled the council.

That's nice.

The council was me, Sam Talon, and Sam Real.

Good council.

That is good.

Also, B-dubs is approved by RFK Drinker.

No, because the Sea Oils.

They see the towel, yeah.

They do the beef towel.

It was approved.

Yeah, so you're just following orders crushing wins.

You're a soldier following orders.

Fine, I'll go to beat ups.

What's your stance on 32-ounce Bud Lights?

And you're obviously.

There's no seed oils.

Dude, I mean,

if two a day are good for you, why not 18?

Why not have two pitchers?

That's good.

But yeah, man, that was

a sick week, man.

We did the beach.

The beach was very fun, like hanging with the fam, and then just did the dreaded show at the atlantic city ocean casino resort why was it so dreaded dude it was you did great it was fun

it was good it was just new stuff dude it was i pigged out trying to do that much new it's just psycho it was an absolute psycho move yeah but it was it was fun my heart my heart was in it yeah i just got too i got too uh pumped on the john martin documentary because the whole time they would uh they would talk about how like he was he was like a really good musician and he would work with like labels and stuff and they'd be like bro you're you got the goods.

Just here, make this one album.

You're good.

And he would go, I couldn't do it.

I'd have to make what I wanted.

He'd make the weirdest bullshit, and it would never work.

Yeah.

Fuck yeah.

It was tight, though.

He was just like, yeah, why?

I could have done that.

Why would I do that?

He's like, I'd rather just play what I want.

And then he's like, it just is what it is.

Which, you know, I'm not, I'm not likening myself to JM, obviously.

No, I see it.

But it was, it heartened me.

It was like, just do the stuff you like doing and just have fun.

So it's cool.

Yeah.

He would just, it was, him and his bro would hit the bar, just crush pints play a show in like a theater hall and he goes we couldn't get back to the pub fast enough they would go back crush the guinnesses

i was thinking about i kept sending you all the things on the plane that shit fires me up eventually yeah but it all it ended the ending was rough it was definitely a cautionary tale it's gonna be a crash landing it was a complete crash landing his diet so like the funny part was is like They started the documentary.

The starting point was that like he was laid up in a neck brace because he had been driving drunk now

he had the brace and he crashed into a cow in the countryside and got like

up he's drunk he drunkenly

it's a hell of a run dude it's like a hell of a run i know and then he just drunk hit a cow in a neck brace drunk no he the neck brace is from hitting a cow i know no i know i'm saying yeah that's how it like i mean that's a legend and then there's like pancreas one of them something exploded his spleen couldn't drink and then all he would do was drink whiskey and eat uh pickled eggs that was the the doctor, like, you got to get it together.

And he's like, all right, whiskey and a pickled egg diet.

Just farting himself into oblivion.

The farts.

The worst farts of all time.

And he was a big guy at the end.

Yeah, he was a big boy.

Big dog eating fucking eggs and whiskey.

He was like a, if you look up old videos of John Martin, he was just like a thin rock star type, and he became a for real.

Dude, whiskey and eggs is crazy.

He's gonna be a freak.

Whiskey and eggs, and he had like a mangled foot, and that they chopped off at the end of the documentary.

He felt so bad.

Oh, it's crazy.

Dude, they wheel.

he was doing like, he was for real, like a huge musician, and he like was off the road for a while, and it ends with him just doing a show in a pub.

He was like a, like, he had like a cult following.

Exactly where he wanted to be.

Awesome.

Dude, it's real.

He just goes back to a small Irish pub and just fucking rips a show for like 40 people.

Can't get up.

It really was.

Sitting down, he can't stand up anymore.

I'm sure everything hurt, but.

No, dude, he couldn't get there.

And then

the funniest part was he didn't think of any of the legit.

So he just showed showed up and no one had any idea where to plug anything in.

He just was like, oh, fuck, I didn't plan this out at all to his dying day.

It'll work out, though.

The dude's a man.

I mean, he's a fucking man.

He's a man.

If I end up back at Kelly's,

great run.

Huge, bro.

Yeah.

Sit down.

The stool.

Sit there.

Go.

Missing foot.

You guys want to hear a Trump impression?

Give me another Guinness.

I'll do a Trump impression.

Yeah, he's the fucking bro, dude.

John Martin's absolute beast.

He was, I think Eric Clapton covered one of his songs.

And then him, he was like, he hung with like the big dogs.

And also,

dude, who was he?

Phil Collins.

Him and Phil Collins got divorced at the same time

and just lived in a house together and both worked on separate albums.

And they would be in like recording and they'd have to take turns like fighting with their ex-wives.

And Phil Collins was like, it was honestly like one of the saddest periods of my life hanging out with that guy.

But he goes, I got a great album out of it.

And the guy was a fucking man.

They would both be in the.

Was that, yeah, that's dude?

Look at that.

Give that bro to the camera.

Give him his respects, dude.

Show him to the cam, man.

John Martin, final form, absolute fucking beast.

Let me take a look at this.

One fucking foot in the pub in the chair.

He's so fucking, dude, so fucking sick.

I've been studying all of his songs.

He does like crazy.

Every song's in like the weirdest tuning possible.

He just completely rearranged.

What?

Yeah, he's hammered.

He's gone.

And his live performances.

Let me see that, John.

Let me let the bro fucking glimpse this.

Bro, look at that.

That is absolute heaven, bro.

That's Kelly's bulb.

Wheelchair at the pump.

That's Kelly's bum.

He's the best.

He's for real the best.

Let me show you the before and after is crazy.

Yep, there he was.

There he was, just slowly filling up.

He's been eating a ton of those eggs.

Oh, bro.

He got so big.

He's eating so many eggs.

Well, I think one of his organs,

one of his organs exploded.

He turned into robutnick, dude.

Yeah, he's truly the fucking man.

All of his live performances, he's like, you can hear how coked out he is the entire time.

He's like, hello, and all that, whatever.

Okay, now.

I've been wearing this shirt for seven days in a row.

He wanted to sit down and win from me.

Come on now.

Let's do it.

Let's do it.

Him and his bro did an album for a, or a like a promo for an album where they were like supposed to be like boxers in a ring.

That was like the picture.

And then out of nowhere, like while they're taking pictures, he just slugged his boy.

Obviously.

Obviously.

Yeah, he was absolutely the fucking may own.

Yeah, John Martin, he's I've been getting real deep into his stuff.

Are you excited for the Oasis?

Yeah, I'm fucking pumped.

I'm very pumped on those guys.

We're going to go see Oasis in Chicago.

Yeah, that'll be nice.

Very exciting.

That's the best part.

I like when guys do, like in between songs, they just talk and fuck around.

They're the audience.

Yeah, I caught him doing it.

He's got it down.

He's nice.

They're both,

I watch their videos as much as I watch them, listen to their music.

It's awesome.

Their YouTube videos of them just talking shit.

So fucking funny.

They had one interview where I love it when he's like, how do you handle the hangovers?

Back to the pub.

Don't dwell on it.

Fuck you.

Yeah, English guys get after it, dude.

English guys don't fuck around.

Apparently, the pints in America I've learned are

a lost art.

In England, it's like a whole thing.

It's like as much detail as we put into like latte art.

Over there, like getting that foam top on the beer is like a whole different thing.

Their beers more carbonated, apparently.

So they want to, they fill, they overfill the beer on purpose to get that fucking

English talks make me want to split the G a little.

I have an English bro who tasked me.

He goes, if you showed me a picture of a pint, he goes, if you know anywhere that serves a pint like this, let me know.

I need it, bro.

But yeah,

I do like the I'm on a big English kick right now.

It's good.

They're funny.

They are very funny.

Did you see the meme of like the archetypal English life

or life of an English guy?

And it's like

no, it's just like a

true

Brexit geezer.

Dude, it's just like a seven-step point list or a checklist where it's like, you know, go to uni, graduate, Thailand trip with the boys, job here, beat wife, die.

Shit rocks.

Yeah, they're good, bros.

The English are good bros.

We'd definitely check out the, I think there's a couple of John Martin documentaries, but dude, it's fucking, this one is like, I watched it.

I was like, damn, this is fucked.

This episode is brought to you by Prize Picks.

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Super Bowl.

Yeah.

What are you most excited about for the upcoming season?

Super Bowl.

Super Bowl.

Can't wait for the Super Bowl.

Super Bowl guy.

I'll tell you what, Josh Allen.

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I'm a big fan of Aaron Rodgers, and he's a great guy.

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That's like four feet away from where you were.

It's a crazy size.

He's trying to get it out of the camera.

The camera got, he saw that red light.

It got to him.

Yeah.

Goodbye.

I'm going to pee that.

That's what he loved to do.

I watched a way worse documentary.

Did I tell you this last week about the cameraman in Iraq?

No.

Don't watch it.

I forget what it's called.

It was this guy who, like,

it's a, it's a good documentary, but the way it ends is fucking horrific.

What happens?

He's following soldiers around.

They shoot an Iraqi and let him die.

Okay.

Like, they, like, drag him because by law, we're supposed to, the United States is supposed to try to revive someone.

Okay.

Like, help them.

Was it a civilian?

No, he had a gun.

He was shooting at them.

Oh, all right.

So they were like, yeah, but it's on camera.

He just sits there and films this guy die.

And you see the guy like,

like, it's yeah fucked that's the enemy of course but you know watching it's fucked up filming it's crazy you have to revive the guy yeah yeah yeah what we're supposed to at least give him medical attention we are the nicest dude yeah we could destroy

yeah

that's so weird it is weird like you have to shoot them but you also have to try to revive them i mean it's nice i get the point it's nice but that's also fucking weird like i guess you don't i guess you want to just well these guys didn't yeah

sitting there like fuck you dude if someone while he's laying there dying, the guy that one of the troops comes over is like, oh, yo, you thought you were fucking cool a second ago.

Now look at you.

You're fucking dead.

Yeah, if someone was shooting at me, I'd be angry as well, though.

I'd be furious, yeah.

Especially after all the things they've seen.

Yeah.

Like you saw your friends get shot.

Yes, exactly.

That's such a weird way.

If somebody harmed you and I saw them dying, I wouldn't be like, help them.

If somebody tried to end my life, I wouldn't be like, all right, guys, time out.

Because then you can also get shot while you're helping the guy.

Yeah.

Unless, I mean, did they have

him into the shelter?

Yeah.

And just talk shit to him.

Yeah.

Put a blanket over his head.

They're like, he's dead.

Clearly not dead.

Well, you can, but you can still talk shit to them and try to put a band-aid on them.

Yeah.

And this guy just filmed the whole thing.

Yeah.

So that was, I thought you were.

This guy was fucked, though.

Yeah, he was an Australian dude, and he was, he got to Iraq right away, like right before the war started.

Yeah.

And he got like embedded with a bunch of people, but he became like a liaison between

Al-Qaeda.

So Al-Qaeda was giving him their tapes to give to to the press, and he would go out with them at night

and film them firing mortars into like U.S.

bases.

They were

telling me this guy dies.

He makes it.

Yeah, that's crazy.

Yeah.

What's it called?

Only the Dead.

Does that sound right?

No.

Is it an older?

It's older, yeah.

I see one called The Cameraman Story from 2003.

And another one called, no, that can't be right.

Not a second.

hondors

that's kind of how the fuck do you even set that up like yo guys i'm gonna

can i have some of your yeah i guess it is only the dead

michael wears

yeah that must be it unless there's a different australian version of that is that how that ends our cow is in it yeah that's it that's it that's how it ends is him filming a guy die for like 10 minutes did the soldiers get in trouble i bet the soldiers got in trouble oh man with a dick yeah why'd he film that i don't know but i guess it's his job to look When you watch it,

I know you can't understand.

We can't understand.

But watching a guy die and seeing dudes be like, fuck him.

It's like

some harsh.

Yeah.

I mean, it's literally the harshest.

It's the worst thing.

It's the meanest you can be.

It's the worst thing.

I was just laying on the couch watching.

Like,

the fuck?

I got to play with the Toledo rockets.

We got to get some action.

Yeah, but if you're like, I mean, it's not even competitive, would not even be the word, but like,

you'd be so charged up, dude.

You're in a firefight.

Yeah.

I couldn't.

You're not even thinking clear.

That's when people talk about like cops and shit.

It's like, dude, so they just got shot at.

Yeah.

It's like, yeah, he emptied a clip in him.

It's like, it's not nice.

You shouldn't do that.

But it's like, bro, I'd be, I'd spazz the fuck out.

Yeah.

I can hardly not spaz like driving with my wife.

Dude, the footage of him filming its like night vision of all the Al-Qaeda guys is like, it's scary, bro.

Yeah, dude.

And it was right when David, his name's David Pearl, right?

The guy got his head, the journalist.

Oh, no.

That got beheaded.

So this guy was crazy.

He was like willing that he's like, yeah, I'll meet up with you guys.

He might cut my head off, but

damn.

Yeah, they show that a little.

They show the Pearl thing a little in the documentary.

That's a tough one.

Yeah, that's fucked up.

It's really, they show it right before they cut his head, and then you hear the audio of it.

It's so bad.

Oh, this is like the most.

No.

Oh, it's never a clean sweat.

It's a knife.

It's literally a saw.

Oh, Jesus.

It's a saw every time.

Oh.

Yeah, it's really bad.

I don't know if you guys knew that.

The Iraq war was bad.

Yeah.

So I just found out.

It's 2025.

I'm still confused how they even fight wars now.

With all the technology, it's like, it's crazy.

Like, you have satellites giving you all the imagery.

I think though, but Ukraine-Russia is

like trench warfare.

Yeah.

Just with shitty Walmart drones.

God damn.

Just come in and blow you up.

Yeah, but like, oh, man,

I guess everyone, not everyone, but I guess the major powers have competing technology.

So you can like do like six.

I think Russia would be going wild.

You would think.

Are they not?

Didn't hundreds of thousands of people die?

No, yeah, a lot.

But I just mean like the technology.

It's so weird.

The technology now is like you set up fucking like fishing wire above your line so drones can't come in.

Really?

So there's just like lines.

Yeah, there's just wires everywhere.

What?

Yeah, it's fucked up.

Oh, to branch out.

Oh, so it's a little like you can't get it.

Yeah, it's like trench warfare with a canopy of like tiny wires.

Stop the drones.

Yeah.

It's crazy.

That's fucking scary.

It's the scariest.

Yeah, dude.

Watch.

I mean, don't watch it.

I guess

the canopy would have to be like the sides blockaded, too.

So you have like a tunnel.

Every once in a while, I've seen drone footage of one getting into like a tunnel.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

And the drones are just like doing little robot attacks.

They're just drones.

They're literally like.

Yeah, yeah, like the shitty Walmart drones.

But are they weaponized?

Yeah, they just tie a fucking grenade to it.

So scary.

oh man yeah yeah i mean dude let's yeah we got to all come to the table dudes you gotta come they came to the table this week i heard yeah that's good it was nice i watched the trump dog zielinski macrone i watched them at a table they were buddies but there was no russians at the table putin was not there they're trying to get putin sent one of his bros no it was just i think it was like a securities guarantee I forget exactly what that is with Ukraine.

Isn't it going in the way of like Russia's going to get a little bit of Ukraine?

I don't think they're going to take it over.

That's like the problem.

Yeah.

Zelensky is saying we're not going to concede that territory.

Yeah.

And,

but also, we won't join NATO.

That's kind of the

big thing.

All right.

And I think Russia wants Ukraine to demilitarize,

which,

yeah.

If I'm Ukraine, I'm going not so fast.

True in a second.

Yeah, true.

They're just like completely coming in with tanks and joints.

They're just like, yeah, yeah, we're going to leave, but you don't get to have guns anymore.

We'll be back in five years.

Yeah, true.

I don't know.

Maybe.

I mean, yeah.

That's why I like seeing Trump on the roof, dude, when he was walking around on the roof.

What was he doing on the roof?

He's just up there taking a walk.

He was on the roof of the White House.

Reporters are like, Mr.

President, what are you doing?

He was just

going for a walk.

I like that.

Before you go to the negotiating table, stroll around on the roof like fucking Zeus at Spud's house.

You go, dude, this guy's retarded as fuck.

You just took a roof stroll?

He took a mad dog walk, dude.

Was it like a roof?

There's nothing up there.

There's no like garden or anything.

The roof is like HVAC.

He was just walking around up there.

I'm wondering, why are you up there?

Hopefully they figure it out, man.

It's good, though, before a meeting.

Yeah, get on the roof.

Stand on the roof,

watch your guests come in.

Yeah.

Like Batman.

I mean, dude, I'm still mystified.

Like, how much, like, it's a dumb question, but, like, how much say does the president really have?

And do they have, like, the final word for real, or are there people being like, yo, bro, like, no, you have to.

Because I guess they're just getting advised, and then they're talking deep sit,

I guess he's not, yeah, yeah, I don't know, you know what I mean?

But it is tight to just get up on the roof.

I'm like, I'm making a big decision right now.

I'm just thinking up here.

He didn't even say he was thinking.

He literally, a reporter yelled and goes, just taking a walk.

Jesus Christ.

I'm back though.

That's all it takes.

Give me one fucking shot of him walking on the roof.

I'm like, yo, that's the bro.

Guys, if I forget about the list i forgot about f oh yeah yeah yeah forget about the list dude yeah the letter the letter is hopefully it's not real they did

trump continues to just do the best work of all time never bring it up yeah

this will pass it will these fuckers will forget about it it will it'll pass it'll it will it is it is funny just to be like bro like man that's such fucking old that's old hat man that's crazy that's such old news yeah i've been i've been seeing because it reminded me of that, because they used, a lot of the Dems use like weirdo on a lot of their pubs.

Yeah, they're

weird.

Yeah.

Now there's, I get a lot of like parenting stuff, and now there's people going viral, and they all do it.

There's like, they all see one thing, and then they start copying it, but there's a bunch of like parenting experts being like, don't make your kid weird.

You know what I'm talking about.

And everyone's like, yeah, it's just like a weird, like, like, what are you talking about?

And what?

He's going to be weird.

Yeah.

If you're a parent watching TikToks about not making them weird, that's what I'm saying.

You got a weird kid.

I think.

My kid, who's been sitting on a couch watching me play Dynasty with Toledo, is going to beat the fuck out of your kids, dude.

Chill.

He's been watching Grind the film, dude.

But it's like, it is weird.

They're coming out being, and it's like, I don't know if it's like purposely to get people to argue in the comments, but it's like, you need to make them not weird.

It's your responsibility.

And you know what I'm talking about.

It's people being like, oh, I know what he's talking about.

It's like they're all fucking weird as hell.

Is it like homophobic?

No, I don't think it is.

Maybe that would be funny.

You know what the fuck I'm talking about, dude?

Don't make me say it.

Your kid better not be weird.

I don't know what they're talking about.

I don't want to hear that gay shit at my school.

That's been coming up for me a lot, just being like, it's your job to correct that.

Teachers have to deal with weird kids, and it's not fair.

It's like, what are you saying?

I get it.

I'm with the teachers on that.

You're having fucking weird ass kids show up to school.

yeah but they're like

you can't that's just like your parents are i always i always equated it to if you had like super nerd parents yeah you're gonna raise a nerd

same with fat yeah fat families are a thing there's no harm in the the nerd kid i mean he's gonna just i mean as a teacher

he's a smart nerd yeah that was that was a big revelation dumb nerds dumb nerds they're mostly dumb it's not big bang theory they're dumb as yeah and they're mean dumb fuckers.

I got fucked in college.

I cheated off the nerdiest looking kid, and he was a dumb nerd.

We both got like 74s.

I was like, what the fuck, dude?

Why do you look like that?

You can't even walk normal.

I figured you would ace this test.

You walk fast as hell, dude.

I thought you were the smartest kid alive.

You walk at a 45-degree incline.

So fast.

Yeah, I was just like, this kid was like such a wretched nerd that I was like, bingo, here's my ticket through this class.

I got a 75.

My mirror's laughing because he was a dumb nerd.

I would have thought you were a super genius, dude.

dude no

45 degree angle guy man like he got me

90 pound fucking book bag yeah on his tippy toes at all times

tippy toe walker no friends giant book bag

this kid's gonna get a 95 you'd think you crushed the bio exam

i my mom gave me a booklet of like basically grade school of like all my report cards, pictures, all this stuff.

Dude, I did so good from like first to third grade.

I didn't really, I was like crushing it in school.

I don't even remember this.

I had like in first grade, I was in like the Garnet Valley newspaper for fucking spelling B.

Apparently, I was a spelling whiz when I was little.

I can't spell diarrhea still to save my life.

Every time I try,

I might get a private tutor just to teach me how to spell diarrhea.

Every time I try to write a text message, I try to write it like four times.

I spell it so badly, it's not even, no one's close.

Spellcheck's not even close.

I can't.

It's like, no,

every time.

Diary, I'm like, dude, come on.

You know what I'm talking about.

Yeah.

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

Dude, it's been really funny just going back through all my report cards.

I was such a good little kid.

I was, bro, I was the number one.

You were a good boy.

Till seventh or eighth, till puberty.

I think fourth.

I think I got straight A's until like seventh or eighth grade.

I turned bad in like fourth.

I remember I got a C

for my last report card ever in eighth grade.

Really?

I had to call my parents.

I was getting O's.

I was fucking C, and they were like, I don't give a fuck, dude.

I was getting O's and VGs.

Religion, I was getting, bro.

I think when I was real young, like first and third, I was getting some.

I was a bad kid.

Really?

Yeah.

I was a good boy, bro.

I thought I was like bad when I was young.

I remember getting in trouble, but I was getting like, it was kind of bad.

Yeah, it wasn't like bad.

Yeah, I was just getting like redirected off.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

But no, I also, and it's funny.

It wasn't like getting kicked out of school for being a sex program.

No, that was off the table.

I do, it's funny seeing like reading the shit you wrote as a kid.

I'll keep cutting you off.

I'm so sorry.

Please, please.

My dad would beat the fuck out of me if I got kicked out of a school for being a sex pervert.

It wasn't an option, bro.

I would get fucking, dude, I would get beat.

Yeah, he would beat me up.

It wouldn't be like a belt or anything.

It would be like a fist fight.

Yeah.

Beating.

Disrespect was a big one.

If I, like, if I dress code violations, he'd be like, come on, man.

Yeah.

If I was like disrespectful, I would get my ass kicked.

no offense to your parenting i'm just i'm just putting myself in the shoes of them finding porn at school

i'm getting the fuck well that teacher shouldn't have went through my thing for sure she was and she was always or that guy's counselor she was always on my ass that they it was a whole long thing that might be that that's a positive of having african-american parents what like did you even have a warrant to go through his phone

my parents would have been like you did the right thing sir yeah they did my mom they neither one of them did that they were they were mad at it but uh do you have a war

my son ain't no sex movement

no it wasn't it wasn't i don't remember man yeah i wasn't that big i was i was 16

16 yeah 10th grade 16 yeah you're 16 yeah i guess that's old enough that i wouldn't have got my ass beat yeah

and the pictures was just it was just pictures yeah picture pics

getting kicked out of school though i would have got it would have been the apocalypse if i got kicked out it would have been game over.

I got in-school suspension.

My dad belted me.

Yeah, you get in trouble for it.

When did you get in-school suspension?

Seventh, eighth,

grade school, in-school suspension.

Yeah, that's a death sentence.

Got the belt.

By the time I got in high school, it wasn't.

I didn't do anything that bad.

What'd you do?

Fucking laughed because my friend farted during Stations of the Cross.

That's bullshit.

And then when I got detention, I yelled, he farted.

And she was like, that's two in one day.

That's in-school suspension.

You're out.

Get out.

Stood in the hallway, cried, just going, my dad's going to beat the fuck out of me.

I called it.

Yeah.

Yeah, my dad chilled.

By the time we got into high school, it was just, you were just getting high school.

I wasn't getting like, you weren't getting it.

Because I got suspended in high school.

It was crazy to belt me in high school, dude.

I was like 6-3.

That's what I say.

By then, yeah.

By then, you're too big.

By then, especially, me and my three brothers could have ganged up and tried to fucking do some damn.

I started beating Phil's ass.

Did you?

Junior and senior year.

He would have won in a fist fight, but wrestling, I could tackle him and hold him down.

I thought I could.

I stepped up to my dad freshman year, and he like picked me up.

Freshman year, freshman and sophomore year, he was still hitting me.

Yeah, I told you.

I got slapped in the face for drinking.

He's like, did you drink?

No.

When the fuck, dad.

Took my shirt off.

I was like, I'll fucking fight you right now, you fucking pussy.

And I'd run back upstairs and cry.

Cry to my mom, then I'd run back downstairs and go, I'll fucking beat your fucking ass.

You're a fucking drunk.

I'm not a drunk.

Just having like four fruit punchy vodkas.

For real, I was wearing a white Michael Vick jersey.

It's covered in fruit punch.

And I kept coming down the steps.

He's like, you fucking piece of shit.

He was drunk enough that he was talking shit back.

He was like, yeah, right, pussy.

I'll fuck you up.

I was like, as a dad, you got to be like, shut up.

I think he actually tried to shut up like five times.

I stepped in my dad one time.

I think freshman year.

I was like, what, dude?

What are you really going to do?

And he just like stared at me for several seconds.

It was like, get the fuck out of my face and go upstairs.

And I was like, yeah.

I was like, thank fucking God.

Yeah.

I was so, I was like swaying on my feet drunk.

And he was probably just tidy whites just being like, bro,

I now, especially knowing how fucking angry they were, like, dude, there was, they were fucking dying.

Six kids just working.

One of them taking his shirt off, being like, you piece of shit, I'll beat your ass.

Just going, dude, go to bed.

Just doing hard physical.

Full shad.

I was full shad.

Dude, hard physical labor.

Did you remember the body cam video of the guy at the hospital or the guy at the hotel?

We didn't watch that?

No.

Oh, you would have loved it.

What are you just doing?

Chris O'Connor showed me.

It's just this extremely drunk guy at a hotel.

The cops just keep being like, Shad, go to bed.

His name's Shad, S-A-J-Shad.

Shad is crazy.

And he's like, no, no, I'm not going to bed.

You motherfuckers.

And like, Shad, come on, dude.

Just go to bed.

He's like, no, I'm not doing it.

It's an hour of

cop.

When you left, you put on cops.

I have big body cam footage right now.

You left

a good video.

The guy probably was beating his girlfriend.

They were both kind of like coked up and drunk.

And he was sitting outside.

And they were just like, dude, just if you leave, all you got to do is leave.

All you got to do is leave.

He's fucking out of here, right?

And he would take his sneaker and be like, fuck, and just throw it on the ground.

And then finally, they like, he starts to walk away.

And then one cop is like, kind of knowing, like, dude, we can't send this.

This guy's a loose cannon.

They're like, come on, man.

He's like, I thought you said I could leave.

And they're like, no, you're under arrest.

He's like, fine.

Then he just goes to the car and just goes, bang, and slams his head.

He goes, why'd you guys make me do that?

I love doing that.

Yeah, that's a sick move.

There's my favorite one I just watched recently.

It was a domestic dispute.

But it looked like it was clearly the lady

because the guy was all fucked up and she was fine.

And cops are good at sniffing that out, man.

I had a couple before that with different guys.

But they go inside, they interview everybody, and then they come back outside.

She's the one who was like, get him, get him right now.

She like walked up to the cops.

I feel like that's a rule of thumb.

The first person you see in a domestic dispute was the beater.

Yes.

I swear to God, every time.

They spin her around to put the cuffs on.

The back of her shirt's a giant logo of a twisted T, and it says it's a bad day to be a twisted T.

It's so nice.

Getting arrested in the bad day to be a twisted.

I mean, you know how many people across the country caught the Twisted Fury from their wives and girlfriends

just to hit you and calls the Twisted Metal, dude.

Full twisted metal.

Hits you and calls the cops.

The cops come.

You're just like, Jesus fucking Christ.

Yeah.

Just got off of of work.

Yeah.

That's hell.

That's truly hell.

Yeah.

I've never, like, I constantly marvel at how hard the wheels can come off in a home life.

And it's not that hard, dude.

It can happen so easily.

Just like, it's just not that hard.

Especially if you grow up and you have like no decent example.

Yeah.

And you just, now you're married and you're like, hold on a second.

I remember what to do.

Yeah, if she yells, I can make her stop yelling.

Maybe my stepdad was right after all these years.

Yeah, maybe my mom was a bitch and my stepdad was the fucking man.

Yeah, I'm going to hit her.

I'm going to see what happens.

I'm going to throw a fucking jab and throw a combo in the kitchen.

I mean, it's crazy.

There's no classes on that.

If you grow up.

Just on, like, how to like...

coexist peacefully.

Like nobody knows how to do it even.

No one could calm a lady down.

Nobody can do it.

No one on earth.

But you've said like if you you could barely read you have you're just it's just your daily experience you have like maybe an old grandfather who was like in the picture or worked at a factory now you got to deal with an angry drunk lady

and also also you're wrecked you're hammered you're hammered it's a bad day to be

it was a terrible day to be a twisted

i'm not saying it's right but it's like that's That's like

it's an impossible situation for anyone to figure out, let alone somebody on like maybe a seventh grade reading level being like, you're getting absolutely mind-fucked by a lady after you're working at a job that sucks, and she's drunk, and you're drunk.

To try to peacefully figure your way out of that maze, I would say, is impossible.

There's gonna be some physical violence, impossible,

and again, you can't hit them, especially she swings first.

It kind of hurts.

Yeah, you go, I didn't think that was gonna hurt.

You've fucking scratched my face.

It hurts.

Now, you need, now you go, I can't let you get close.

You shoot the legs.

Yeah, you're just reacting.

You're reacting that.

I can't let you get close.

Shoot the legs.

You fucking full on fucking hums at them.

The cops come and just beat the shit out of you.

Yeah, then you get your ass beat by the cops.

Cops come kick your ass.

Although, I'm telling you, cops, I have just heard enough stories where they're pretty good at ferreting out when it was just a lady going nuts.

Yeah.

Because they'll come.

I've heard enough people.

I think if a guy goes nuts, it's obvious.

That's kind of

fucking damaged.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that's their indicator.

It's like, yeah, you know, if this guy hit you, you'd be like, for real fucked up.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I could be wrong.

And usually those guys aren't fucking suddenly smart enough to be playing it cool in front of the cops.

No.

Yeah.

Usually they're back in the house and they're like, I have a gun in here.

You have to fuck it, kill me.

Get the fuck out of my house.

Yeah.

I have a gun.

I think if you just come up and just see a dude sitting on the front porch, just like holding his head, you're like, all right, here's the victim, right?

Here's the victim.

If someone's just like pacing their porch, like, I do shit.

Fuck off my property.

You don't want it.

Yeah, that's hell, man.

It can really descend descend into a hellscape so easily.

Yeah, it's terrible.

Yeah.

And it's, I feel like it's,

I'm not going to say the norm, but it's like, if you're in like a bad neighborhood, the house is a lot of times.

Well, now that it's criminalized.

True.

You know?

True, that's true.

It was fully legal.

It was legalized it, bro.

We were a little quiet.

Yeah.

Then they said, legalize it.

We got to legalize it, dude.

I'm tired of this fucking government regulation.

That must have been crazy to be the first group of dudes where they're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I think it was like the 90s, dude.

I think it was our parents.

It was.

Yeah.

Yeah, they true.

Yeah.

True.

We deal with pronouns.

They have to deal with fucking not fucking absolutely gut punching.

Not thou was in the combo.

Not going straight to the body.

Going straight to the body hooks.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, you're deep in the you're deep in the ninth inning of an argument.

It's like, no, you said this, and you're like, I can't remember what I said.

Yeah.

I'm going to do the annexation of Puerto Rico, dude.

It's time.

It's time.

It's time for my trick play.

The Philly special.

Philly Philly, dude.

You're hitting the headset talking to the coach.

Philly Philly, you want to run it?

Yep.

Let's run it.

I still think we should legalize bouncer protocol because if you're a bouncer, they get to deal with angry, drunk women.

You know how you have to do it?

You have to get them on the side of your hip, fold their arms across their breasts, and you can physically remove them from the establishment.

That's legal.

Yeah.

If you don't feel like arguing anymore, you should be able to come here, fold her arms across her chest,

bounce her into another room, and then just

sprint, bro.

Yeah, you can't backyard her.

You can't backyard him.

You'll be howling at the moon.

You can't backyard him.

But it's like that's riding the tiger, though.

You know what I mean?

That's holding the tiger's ears.

Holding the tiger by the ears.

You go, I can't let go.

I got to toss you in the backyard.

You should just have two safe rooms.

You should just get a panic room.

A panic room.

You fight your wife.

You press a button, a bookshelf closes.

Pedagogy was nice.

That's nice, and I like people who barricade themselves.

Barricaders are nice when you just fucking, for some reason, stack like four mattresses in front of your door and the cops come kick it in.

I know I've talked about it before, but it makes me laugh every time.

Barricading?

Barricaders are so funny.

It's a sick move.

It's just like a mental, it's like some form of mental break where you're like, I don't want anyone to get in here ever again, but you don't have like enough stuff.

And the cops.

The door ends up opening out.

You go, oh, shit.

Fucking

i got right through my fucking barricade it's just one piss-soaked mattress you're like

yeah door opens out you get tased

fucking sucks i always forget though watching the watching cops and seeing dudes get chased down man it's like the gear those cops have on them it's crazy that you get caught I don't know if I'm just cocky from hitting the track, but it's like.

I'd get hawked down by anybody.

A lot of them aren't running like that, though.

Doesn't matter.

I'm getting hawked.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, for sure.

I'm going to shed some tackles, though.

True.

Pad level.

Yeah, you get some dirty yards.

Watch it.

Dude, I'm nice in the.

They knew I had fucking top speed.

They didn't know I could also beat you in the shuttle.

You would get dirty yards for sure.

I'd get a lot of dirty yards.

Bounce recovery.

That backside comer.

Come on, man.

You get arm tackle from a backside DN.

You can't run on my team.

True.

That's what I'm saying.

I do.

I still want to do a community day where you do a thing where you can have cops try to catch you.

They have all their gear on, and you just go to like a big football field, and like, maybe some like obstacles, and you run an obstacle course with cops trying to use their radios to catch you.

That would be so fun.

I think you can arrange that.

Yeah, that'd be sick.

Don't bring those fucking hunk-ass firefighters.

No, I'm keeping them at home.

Bring them, and you can fucking have them block for me.

Yeah, or you can sneak one.

You can join the cops.

We're tasing firefighters.

Firefighters are going to try to escape.

You should put up a battle.

You should get a battle going.

Cops versus firefighters.

That would be nice.

Firefighters get hoses.

Cops get tasers.

I think cops versus firefighters.

Flag football game would be nice.

I can be steady Q.

Tackle.

Yeah, tackle foot would be nice.

They all have good insurance, so if they get hurt, who cares?

Be fine.

Yeah, I might.

I don't know.

Speaking of ball, though, I got to address the...

Yes, I wore Texas gear in a commercial, dude.

So what?

What are people coming down on you for that?

Yeah.

Christoph Waltz is not actually a Nazi.

Sometimes actors take on roles, dude.

What the fuck?

Wait,

you have to fill me in i don't know a bud light commercial just came out and i'm it's we're supposed to be texas fans yeah so what what's where's the

trader for not wearing no well like i'm saying i'm actually a notre dame fan yeah for sure but you know it's i'm an actor dude it's a bud light commercial

acting i'm a thespian dude yeah

pretending you had to get deep into the character you had to pretend

i actually said that because when we were filming madden i'm obviously a raiders

i support the raiders and they were like you have to do interviews and stuff there.

And they're like, how do you feel?

How do you think the Eagles fans are going to feel about this?

I was like, I don't know.

Guys play Nazis in movies.

What the fuck?

Matt Damon like sucked a guy's dick in a movie.

Yeah, he didn't actually suck.

I mean, he didn't do it.

He straddled a guy.

That's worse.

Oh, true.

You know about straddling.

And it was a stunt double.

He might might have had a gay stunt double.

He could have had a gay stunt double.

What do you mean I had a gay stunt double?

No, you do your own stunts.

You're Jackie Chan, bro.

You're Jackie Chan when it comes to the stunts.

Yeah, but Matt Damon rocked that role, I will say.

I don't know.

Candelabra, I never saw it.

Behind the Candelabra.

I heard it was good.

It's so good.

He's so gay in it, bro.

It's genuinely impressive.

Yeah.

The gayest one I watched was the one you told me to watch, the Liberace.

That was fantastic.

That was a great show.

He crushed it.

Yeah.

who was the what's who was that that's uh that played

that guy

andrew cananen yes who played him though that guy has like a major

he's a phenomenal actor yeah the andrew kananan still popped

the menendez brothers one no it's the same show like they did

okay who played who played him i don't know but they it was great watching you're gonna really like it yeah it's right up your alley dude i dude i and you gotta watch eddington what's eddington it's a new movie that came out it's again perfect for you.

Really?

It sounds like one of something you would write.

Yes.

Oh,

I think I know you're talking about talking about this.

Yeah,

I got to get to it, man.

I've been.

The ending is like you wrote it.

Really?

Yeah.

That's fucking pumping me up.

For real.

I was thinking it while I was watching it.

I was like, this is exactly Ariaster.

Don't care.

Beast.

True.

Fuck directors.

No, he's a beast.

He wrote Hereditary, dude, Hale Payman.

Did he really?

Yeah.

Payment?

No.

Ari Aster has the craziest student film.

It's called What's Up with the Johnsons?

I don't know.

I don't wanna.

How much does it cost to just film a short, like a 25-minute movie?

Probably not that much.

Yeah, right?

Yeah.

Depends, I guess, on the equipment.

I've been thinking about trying to write and direct a short.

Dude, probably 40 Gs?

Really?

Yeah.

Nothing crazy.

It would just be

some talking, some.

Hmm.

Interesting.

Watch Eddington.

Watch the adventure.

I'll check it out.

I'll check it out.

Do me a kindness.

Try to peep it tonight.

I will.

No, I'm not.

Stay up late.

There's no way.

I'm going to be.

I got to go to the motherfucking ship.

Oh, fuck.

Late as hell.

Yeah.

But I do have a flight.

I have a flight coming up.

So I'll download it on my phones.

Yeah.

I'll watch it on my phones.

You're going to like it?

I think if it's the movie you described to me, I think I would.

Yeah.

It's Joaquin Phoenix.

Oh, I love him, dude.

He's the best.

He's one of the goats.

He's the best.

I'll watch Eddington on the flight.

You have my word.

Yeah.

All right.

Good stuff.

Nate's not testing.

Not at all.

He is not.