Ep 573 - Angry Jets

Speaker 1 Wow wow wes

Speaker 1 fat boys run

Speaker 1 oh come on

Speaker 2 hello this is Sean Gardini I just wanted to chime in to let the audio listener know

Speaker 2 that uh that I'm currently playing a video of Matt's race with Haas so if you'd like to see that switch over to the video

Speaker 2 Keep going, Matt!

Speaker 2 He's catching up!

Speaker 2 Some words of encouragement from Mrs. McCusker.

Speaker 2 For those of you who don't know, Matt was racing his cousin, Haas,

Speaker 2 this weekend on the Jersey Shore, so this is the footage of that.

Speaker 2 I think the end is coming now, and Matt wins, so it was a good effort by both of them.

Speaker 2 But congratulations to Matt. He finished with about his seven minute 30 second mile

Speaker 2 on the sand too, by the way.

Speaker 2 And I think Haas was about 20, 15, 20 seconds behind him.

Speaker 2 So congrats to both competitors

Speaker 2 and congrats to Matt

Speaker 2 for winning the race.

Speaker 2 Enjoy the podcast, everybody. Goodbye.

Speaker 1 You're all firing on all cylinders right now. Pressure cord, dude.
The console war is over. The black nerds have broken the story.

Speaker 1 The black nerds are on it.

Speaker 1 For real, crazy. That's a big deal, dude.
It's been a 20-year war. It has.
It's been our whole lives

Speaker 1 since PS1, Xbox. And PlayStation was in the Bundaroo.
Wow. PlayStation had the big Bundaroo

Speaker 1 to try to win the war. Wait, so what crossed over? Both of their two biggest franchises.
Spider-Man and Halo. Yeah.
Halo is Xbox only, right? Yeah. It does feel like PlayStation kind of won, though.

Speaker 1 Like, if it would have been Uncharted or Last of Us Switch,

Speaker 1 that is true. Halo.
Halo's the biggest one. Halo's the biggest one on Xbox.
Spider-Man's big, but I don't think it's their big. Yeah, I feel like I don't know anyone who plays fucking Spider-Man.

Speaker 1 They all everybody plays Spider-Man, dude. Really?

Speaker 1 They love Spider-Man. What do you, it's just you, Spidey, rolling around?

Speaker 1 They make you. That's your favorite part of the game is playing this magic chain.

Speaker 1 I couldn't beat the game because of that part. It made me check out for like a week.
Spider-Man was just Grand Theft Auto? Kind of? Isn't it like an open world? You get to just

Speaker 1 swing around this show. Soder would play.
If you smoke weed and like wrestling, Spider-Man is for you. I mean, Spider-Man's for anybody.

Speaker 1 If you had a PlayStation, you'd have play Spider-Man. No, I wouldn't.
You could play Spider-Man now. Yeah, you could play Spider-Man now.
I bet you I don't.

Speaker 1 That's your loss, brother. I'm just waiting for Vietnam hell at loose.
I mean, that does look sick. Oh.

Speaker 1 Wait, so is it like,

Speaker 1 so it's like GTA, but like, why wouldn't you? GTA has got to be better than Spider-Man. Definitely.
Why sell me on YAU to play Spider-Man over GTA? Swinging Through the City.

Speaker 1 They perfected Swinging Through the City.

Speaker 1 And it's so good. Swinging through the City.
I would watch Shoulder Play. Swinging was broken.
Yeah, okay.

Speaker 1 When it first came out, because I didn't buy it, but I went on YouTube and just watched like 10 minutes of somebody just swinging from end to end. That makes sense.

Speaker 1 Swinging through the city and even just kind of. And Soda was high as shit.
We didn't talk.

Speaker 1 I would just watch him play a video game silently.

Speaker 1 He was so high. He got high as fuck, dude.
I forgot how high he got. I would just go sit at his house and he would just get high as fuck.
If we had a dynasty, we were playing together.

Speaker 1 I'd be defense, or he'd play defense. I was offense.
That's nice. It was nice.
It was good bro time. Yeah.
Except he'd get high as shit. Sometimes I'd show up after a couple brewskies.

Speaker 1 brewskis the colorado buffaloes would lose dude the the uh dinosaur game i believe it was i believe it was gabe who broke the news of the dinosaur game dinosaur game is pretty sick what is that game called where you start as a tiny little baby dinosaur and you slowly yeah it's pretty great i was when i when i did uh

Speaker 1 uh whatchamacallit dr phil live Soda was on the show and like backstage I told him about that dinosaur game and he was like yo what the fuck and I was like showing him videos he's like y'all gotta get this

Speaker 1 I figured he would appreciate it he would, dude, just laying up at like two in the morning, just being a baby dinosaur and trying to get bigger. Is it's first of all, I it would

Speaker 1 catch me in that. I could get caught up in that

Speaker 1 for sure in that life. I've watched videos about it.
It's pretty great. It looks so tight.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wasn't there a game where you started off as like a little amoeba and you had a. I might just be thinking of an episode of like a fucking

Speaker 1 huh? The aisle, right?

Speaker 1 You start off as a little baby amoeba. You got to fucking become like a dominant life form.
That's awesome. That's a good game.
So, huh? Was it called Spore? No, I think it was

Speaker 1 the Isle.

Speaker 1 Or is that the same game where you start as an Amoeba and turn into a dinosaur? I don't know. I'm just throwing stuff out there.
I love you.

Speaker 1 I'm just throwing stuff out. Toejam and Earl ruled.
Yeah, shit ruled. Battle Toads.
Battle Toads. I never realized Toe Jam and Earl were black.
I should have put that together. Are they?

Speaker 1 They gotta be.

Speaker 1 They're walking around with fucking boom boxes on their shoulders.

Speaker 1 Either that or Puerto Rican. This is the country.
Toe Jam and Earl.

Speaker 1 It's crazy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Toj Minerl are definitely black.

Speaker 1 Do you think Mario's going to come to Nintendo in Xbox?

Speaker 1 I mean, PlayStation Xbox. Do you think Mario's going to come into the Xbox?

Speaker 1 That's all they got.

Speaker 1 They just came out with a new system.

Speaker 1 They can't.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Nintendo's not giving up the goods on Mario. He's bigger than ever right now.
That Mario movie fucking rules, dude. I still haven't seen it.

Speaker 1 Dude, I'm telling you, I was like trying, I think I said it before, I was trying to hate on it, watching a guy watch it in front of me on a flight, and I was like, fucking grown, man.

Speaker 1 Watch the Mario movie. And I watched the entire, he had headphones in.
I watched no sound Mario movie for a whole flight. It's like, yo, this is sick.
Yeah. Starts in Brooklyn.

Speaker 1 You fucking fall through a pipe. It's good.
The WAPs? They're in Brooklyn. Yeah.
The WAPs are in Brooklyn. The Mario Brother losers in Brooklyn, dude.
Nobody believes in them. Classic WAPs.

Speaker 1 Dude, they're fucking families. That's the business plumbing.
Plumbing. They say they do their own TV commercial and they're like, I can't even find the live action one anymore.
I searched for it.

Speaker 1 I loved it. I love that.
John Layuzamo, bro. What? The pastor?

Speaker 1 Fucking

Speaker 1 Bob Haskins.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Who the fuck is Bob Haskins?

Speaker 1 I love the

Speaker 1 Bob Haskins.

Speaker 1 You guys know Bob Haskins. What'd he play, Luigi? Oh, he played Smee.
What? He played Smee and Hook. That's Bob.
That guy, he crushed me, dude. Yeah, he did.

Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. Matt, I'm constantly looking for car keys, phone, chapstick, glasses.
Headphones. There you go.
And I lose them all the time.

Speaker 1 That's why I use wired headphones now. Ooh.

Speaker 1 What's the longest time you spent looking for something? I usually give up pretty quick. Yeah, true.
Someone I have a hard time shopping for. I have a tough time finding Le Mer gifts.
Really?

Speaker 1 And I like to spoil them.

Speaker 1 It'd be nice if we had a superpower that helped helped us find exactly what we need at the right moment.

Speaker 1 Luckily for my hiring managers out there, you've at least got the next best thing, ZipRecruiter. Try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/slash MSSP.

Speaker 1 Want to know right away how many qualified candidates are in your area? I would love that. Look no further than ZipRecruiter.

Speaker 1 Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Wow.

Speaker 1 And right now, you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com/slash MSSP. Again, that's ziprecruiter.com/slash MSSP.
ZipRecruiter. The smartest way to hire.

Speaker 1 I'll give Bob Haskins

Speaker 1 and Mario. He's from

Speaker 1 a British actor. Yeah, he's a beast.
He was also in Hoofering Roger Rabbit. Really? He was the detective.
Yeah, we should have known Haskins. Haskins,

Speaker 1 bro. Okay.
A hell of a run, dude. Fair enough.
Super Mario, bro, is the movie. He was Mario.
I don't remember the live-action.

Speaker 1 It was the one where the Goombas looked exactly like Chris Wood.

Speaker 1 The Goomba.

Speaker 1 It looked exactly like him.

Speaker 1 The Koopas. Yes.
It was the Woodman. Let me see it.
I'm going to see this live-action Mario.

Speaker 1 The live action Mario movie was funny because their last names was Mario. He was like, I'm Mario Mario, and I'm Luigi Mario.
That was pretty funny.

Speaker 1 I just remember being a kid watching it, getting hyped. I liked it.
Yo, this is. I can't believe the console wars are over.
This is like for real life-changing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I feel like a wave of relief.

Speaker 1 What, man? Yeah, I see them.

Speaker 1 Damn, this shit looked fucking sick, actually. It was sick.

Speaker 1 I don't think it's streaming anywhere. It's streaming on Amazon.
Well, you know, Amazon has it. I fucking looked for it.
That's what ChatGPP said. Those fuckers.
Chat PPP.

Speaker 1 You're gonna watch that tonight. This is a big night.
Oh.

Speaker 1 I'm just watching people run routes.

Speaker 1 Can't wait for football. Dude, you know what? LeMaire, last week we were at the creek and LeMaire tossed on soap, like the best of soapbox racing.
Ever watched that before?

Speaker 1 Yeah, like the Red Bull and the dudes do their own cars.

Speaker 1 That was fucking awesome. We just missed it in Iowa.
When are you guys with me in Iowa?

Speaker 1 Nebraska and Iowa. Bro, that shit fucking rules.
It might have just been in Nebraska. I forget which one.
Or Iowa. It was that day.
We got in too late. They were like.

Speaker 1 We just cleared the streets out. Dude, I was watching like heavy critiques.
I'm like, what the fuck are they doing? They're like, dude, it's soapbox. right? Like, just have fun and watch it.

Speaker 1 And I was like, no, I need to. This reminds me of Mario and Luigi? Huh? Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 No, Mario and Luigi's box, one of the cars. Do they really? Yeah, I've seen Mario and Luigi get wrecked and Red Bull.
Oh, shit. I swear to God.

Speaker 1 They had some cool ones, man. One of them was just like a giant castle.
They get fucked up. Yeah, they get launched.
Yeah, how do you like practice that? Because you must get hurt.

Speaker 1 I could see the crowd. If you put up the Red Bull decals, obviously I'll go all out.
But

Speaker 1 just practicing that, you can get so fucking hurt doing that. Yeah, I doubt they even practice that much.
True. I think you have a couple beers and go, fuck it, we built this thing.

Speaker 1 I'm going to slide it down the road in fucking Des Moines, Iowa.

Speaker 1 That's a good day. I was getting kind of frustrated where I was like, dude, you think these things would have better steer.
I guess, you know, it's just people building them.

Speaker 1 But like, I was getting kind of pissed. Yeah, they're like Wright Brothers level cars.

Speaker 1 They're like, this thing's fucking never going to work.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was like, dude, can I see one guy smoke this course? And it was like, nope, nobody does it. I mean, it's, you know, hats off to doing it, but.

Speaker 1 Have you ever seen the Bobby, a Bobby, Barbie car races? No.

Speaker 1 There's guys,

Speaker 1 it's like in Texas. These guys, they go down this big hill on

Speaker 1 Barbie cars. Yeah.
Yeah. And they just

Speaker 1 kind of like a power wheel kind of thing? Yeah.

Speaker 1 The power wheels? Yeah, like Barbies and power wheels. Yeah, the little Jeep things.
Yeah. It's a Jeep thing.
Yeah. They take it down a hill and they fucking wipe it off.
Oh, those things would roll.

Speaker 1 Yeah. If you just put them on a hill, they would start moving.
Yeah, I've watched tons of videos of just kids getting fucked up on those things.

Speaker 1 Whipping it around, hitting a curb. That's great.

Speaker 1 Yeah, now what a lot of people are doing. People get ejected from the cars.
The kids stay in the hobby. They go forward.
They go forever head first.

Speaker 1 They never get ejected. They're not like the Saudis.
We have one. We have a power wheel.
And

Speaker 1 Maya's pretty good at driving it, but then Chloe will go gremlin mode and put her foot on the gas. Or Maya's like, stop.
It's my turn to drive.

Speaker 1 From the past. She's already practicing her fucking crazy girlfriend.

Speaker 1 She's already going to be be a crazy girlfriend. She's like, what did you do?

Speaker 1 I hope we died tonight. You were pulling into the garage.
You might as well be all careful. And Chloe's went bang, gremlin mode.
They almost hit the car. It was so fucking funny.
Stop. Stop.

Speaker 1 Total gremlin mode.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I get, yeah. Now a lot of parents have them on remote control.
Put your kid in like the power wheel, but you sit and control it remotely. That'd be so fun.
It would be fun. No, it's not great.

Speaker 1 Parenting. It'd be fun to do.
No, well, it's like safer. Yeah, I know.
But you got to let them ride, bro. Yeah, you got to let him ride.
But that'd be nice. Dude, it'd be so funny fucking with them.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Just forward, backwards, forward,

Speaker 1 a good DUI. True.
You can just sit in a long chair, have a couple drinks, fucking race kids.

Speaker 1 Just one eye in your kids.

Speaker 1 Give me a controller. We got it.
Give me a controller.

Speaker 1 We can fucking Mario Kart with actual kids.

Speaker 1 That would be fun. That's awesome.
Fuck, that'd be so fun.

Speaker 1 Good call.

Speaker 1 This episode of Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast is brought to you by dude wipes matt take it from there well let me tell you something about these dude wipes right now man i'd love to take it right here here we go i'm your butthole yeah me the most overworked underappreciated part of your body

Speaker 1 name two or three poor choices that your butthole never appreciates for example

Speaker 1 Buffalo wings, iced coffees, gas station sushi. Yeah, there's, I mean, all of those.
What's going on? This is this is disgusting stuff. Yeah, jalapeno poppers, root beer floats.

Speaker 1 That's a weird one to tie to your butt. I don't know what that would do to myself.
Root beer floats? Yeah, they also put in here

Speaker 1 two-foot double-ended dill.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's bad for your butt.

Speaker 1 Corner store chili cheese dogs. I'm the one dealing with your poor choices.
That's from the butthole. What?

Speaker 1 And then you drag a dry-ass tissue across me like you're sanding a piece of shit coffee table until I'm a throbbing red balloon knot.

Speaker 1 Who the fuck wrote this this ad? Dude wipes available at retailers nationwide and Amazon. Look, they do fucking rule.

Speaker 1 You don't have to write that ad, Reed. Yeah.
They're good for your butt. It feels good.
It's, I mean,

Speaker 1 traveling with them is for real.

Speaker 1 Traveling with them is great. First day of traveling, my ass falls apart.
Turns, it's just completely blistered.

Speaker 1 You get an oil slick. Exactly.
And these are design specific. The oil slick then irritates the skin.
If it was just an oil slick, fine, but then your skin gets all irritated.

Speaker 1 But having these to come back from and just

Speaker 1 like after like a warrior in battle just kind of dabbing it

Speaker 1 but yeah they're flush holes extra large and they're flushed with scents like mint chill and shea butter stop being an a-hole to your b-hole we take it all back that's fucking cool yeah that was great dude wipes available at retailers nationwide and amazon yeah we support this product for sure

Speaker 1 dude i'm uh i got crushed the other day by a piece of i'm not even gonna say it's bad information i think i didn't take it in properly but i was i've been trying to like cut down on my caffeine because it's been getting a little bit out of control.

Speaker 1 So I'm just like, my brain's just looking for reasons to keep taking in lots of caffeine.

Speaker 1 And I saw, I didn't even watch the video, I saw like the thumbnail of a Huberman video where he's like, you want to, you want to skyrocket your cortisol. It was like a chart on his Instagram.

Speaker 1 I don't think it was a video showing like why you want to skyrocket your cortisol. So I was like, he's right.
I should drink as much coffee as fast as I can as soon as I wake up.

Speaker 1 And dude, I like had a whale of a day. That's not.
I had, like, do you ever drink so much? You feel like you're just like, your inners are just like, I almost feel like mechanical. All the time.

Speaker 1 Dude, I had. This is my second cold brew today.
Maybe you can relate then. Yeah.
Because I had like, I was,

Speaker 1 I'd spiked my cortisol. I'm like, all right, I'm totally on protocol with Huberman right now.

Speaker 1 Maybe he was like, do it through exercise. I didn't listen to the thing.
I was just like, I'm just going to crush coffee cold brew right in the morning.

Speaker 1 And then I ended up having like a genuinely stressful day and was like, I thought I was going to fucking die. I was, it fucked me up.
I'm trying to get back off the bean. I abused it.

Speaker 1 You're good at tracking what's doing what. I'll just be like, I had a good day.

Speaker 1 I don't know what the fuck caused that.

Speaker 1 This is a good day. This is a terrible day.
I knew it was the coffee, though, because

Speaker 1 I have down kind of to a science. And then it was just like, I was like taking a walk with my wife.
She's like, you want to get some coffee? And I was like, yeah, I'll fucking chunk a cold brew.

Speaker 1 Huberman told me I needed a spike. Huberman.

Speaker 1 After I already had like a 24-ounce cup, I was like, it's time to spike the cortisol. That's my problem.

Speaker 1 Are you guys walking in your neighborhood? Nice walk, yeah.

Speaker 1 Nice walk. You're living a real life.
Yeah. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 I'm just walking with my babe. Yeah.
I want to start going full old Indian man and staying like 10 steps behind her with my hands behind my back. That's the dream.

Speaker 1 Taking your babe for a walk. American women could never stand for that.
No. No.
They're so mad if you were 10 feet behind them. Yeah.
You have to walk side by side.

Speaker 1 Literally the only time I'm 10 feet behind her when she's already mad at me and she storms ahead.

Speaker 1 They have to be side by side. Even in New York where everyone's on the sidewalk, you're like, get get in single file.
Yeah, single file. While people are passing.

Speaker 1 Yeah, babes like to keep you right at their hip. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They also like bump into you. They'll like walk.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 but they're really bad at walking. Oh, they'll pop.
Yo, they'll bump you.

Speaker 2 They like can't stay in a straight line. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They can't. That's why they need you next to them.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm happy to have them. Yeah, my babe will hit the fucking, she'll hit the jets on me.
She'll hit turbo. If she's mad, she'll fucking speed ahead.

Speaker 1 And so it's always just like, bro, you slow your little fucking ass down.

Speaker 1 She gets mad, walks as fast as she can. I'm like, bro, I could fucking smoke you right now.

Speaker 1 You ever hit the slowdown when they speed up? That's my move. Yeah, that's a good one.
When she moves mad, it speeds up. I go slower, and I'm like, we'll just part ways.

Speaker 1 Well, it's nice when you go slow, and then they turn around and you go,

Speaker 1 you're all the way up there. What the fuck are you doing all the way up there? I didn't see you back there.
Yeah, you fucking did. You knew what you were doing.

Speaker 1 You knew exactly what the fuck you're up to. Yeah, they hit the Jets.
It's so funny. Angry Jets is crazy.
Oh, the Angry Jets is so funny.

Speaker 1 I see you hit the Angry Jets. I'll hit them.
Video game, Angry Angry Jets. I'll run.
I'll shut up. I'll run, dude.
I'll run away.

Speaker 1 Angry Jets is. She hit me with the diabolical Angry Jets because we were like heading into a preschool thing.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, like two nights before school. Yeah, I forgot how much I fucking hate Angry Jets.
Bro,

Speaker 1 we're late for a dinner. She's going to rush in before me.
Oh, it gets me. Out of the car, into the front door.
You're going to run through the front yard to get there. We got to walk in together.

Speaker 1 Yes, this is how diabolical it was because I'm driving and we get into the fucking parking lot. I don't know why.

Speaker 1 And I've talked to other people, babes do this where they'll be like, Oh, there's a spot right there.

Speaker 1 And it's like, Yo, man, I'm driving when I don't like without you, I don't circle parking lots helplessly. Like, I know how to pull into a fucking spot.
If you say it, I'm not gonna park in that spot.

Speaker 1 Now that's the worst spot. Yeah, I'm just no, I'm not.

Speaker 1 So I started just being like, I can park the car, I don't need your input. You yeah, I know where I'm going because it's like it's a new place.

Speaker 1 We don't, I don't, I really don't know where you're going.

Speaker 1 So she hit the angry jets on me.

Speaker 1 You go, I know exactly where I'm going.

Speaker 1 Shit.

Speaker 1 She hit the angry jets on me, and I like kind of could have gotten lost, and I had no choice but to fucking hurry up. I was like, fucking bitch, I had to fucking hurry up real quick.

Speaker 1 She could have lost. If I got lost, I would have never found myself.
I was in a parking lot. He'd be the dumbest guy ever.

Speaker 1 I would have found it eventually. But I was just like, she hit the angry jets.
And I was like, god damn it. I actually do got to speed up right now because I don't know where the hell I'm going.

Speaker 1 They like sent out a video of like exactly where to go. And I was like, did you watch it? I was like, yeah, I'll watch it.
I didn't watch it, so I don't know where to go.

Speaker 1 yeah, that was the last set of angry jets I got. But then it was cool.
She chilled out.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the angry jets. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I had a girlfriend that would be so mad if we were late for anything. Yeah.
Like, lose her mind. Like, it was like a mental issue.

Speaker 1 If we were like 10 minutes, like, we were late to go to my parents' house for dinner. It's your parents.
Like, it's my, like, oh, we can be three hours late. Yeah, it's all good.
It doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 She lost her mind in the car. Silent car ride, angry jets to the front door.

Speaker 1 And then right when you walk in, hey, how are you guys?

Speaker 1 You fucking psycho. Nothing, bro.
That's crazy. When you're fighting and they get a phone call, and they're like, hey, you're just like, yeah, where's that fucking energy towards me?

Speaker 1 Yeah, give me that energy. Yeah, why can't I get fucking hay?

Speaker 1 But we hit that. They get that from us, though.
Yeah. They hear me talking on the phone with having a blast.
One of you guys. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yo, what's up? Then she answers the phone. It's like, yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 No, nothing.

Speaker 1 What did you talk about on the podcast? Nothing.

Speaker 1 I swear to God, nothing.

Speaker 1 I don't remember. I don't remember.
I have no idea. Okay, well, if you're rushing me off the phone, I'm not rushing off the phone.
I'm fucking normal. I don't know why you're saying that.

Speaker 1 Dude, it can be a fucking hour-long phone call if I'm like,

Speaker 1 all right, I'm going to head out. It's like, fine.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 She has to say goodbye. I know.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 the babe has to say goodbye. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 What are you doing? I just, I don't want to be on the phone. I had the bros here this week.
We were hitting some pretty hard good nights. Really? Gabe and those guys?

Speaker 1 A couple good nights that week. It was uncomfortable.
What do you mean? It's like everybody goes. Oh, you're just chilling.
Watching Sicario. Sicario ends.
You go,

Speaker 1 all right. Good night.
Good night, guys.

Speaker 1 And it's like, all right, good night, bro.

Speaker 1 And you close the door behind you in your bedroom and go, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 Is that guy? Did that guy put a hit on me? It's queer than the blazes.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was, I remember sharing the hotel room with Sid the Kid because I would go to the small rooms and get him light out. Sharing the room.
And it's have to be like, Good night, dude.

Speaker 1 Because it gets weird to do the silence. Yeah, you got to whisper at night.
Yeah. You go, hey, Matt.

Speaker 1 What are you thinking about? Sleep the hood. Good night, dude.
Because we watched that documentary about

Speaker 1 Sid the Kid, though. Sid the Kid was right.
Bees are in. Me and Bees were sharing rooms.
It's just a drunk dude snoring.

Speaker 1 It was crazy. Yeah, me and Sid the Kid got stoned and watched that HBO documentary about the heroin addicts followed over 30 years.
And the guy from from

Speaker 1 explodes. His body, apparently, even dead body is exactly.
The guy melts at the end. He melts.
And we just watched a guy turn into a puddle and then just like turn it off. We're like, good night, man.

Speaker 1 Good shit tonight in the little room in St. Louis.
Good for you. I mean, it's so funny the difference of you and Sid the Kid.
Yeah. It was me, Ocaman, and Beezer.
There wasn't one good night. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No one remembered one night.

Speaker 1 Every night, people were like,

Speaker 1 you know what? Fuck you.

Speaker 1 Although, that's three's company. That's someone.
That's a Jared's quad. Someone sharing rooms.
Usually, I started stacking those two at the end. Yeah, you can get to the business.

Speaker 1 They were sharing rooms. But I would split rooms with the guys.
My favorite story, I've said it a million times, is me and Beezer were sleeping

Speaker 1 in twin beds. No, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 But I woke up in the middle of the night, and he was facing the same way as me. The distance was less than this.
We were laying on our sides. He was awake.
And I was like, dude, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 to roll over?

Speaker 1 Nothing worse than being like 30, 30 somewhere. Some old shit, dude.

Speaker 1 Swaying each other in a hotel room in fucking like Cleveland.

Speaker 1 My dad would hold it down like when he was like, I'm sorry, I keep cutting you off. It was also dark enough that it took me a second to be like, Are his eyes open or what?

Speaker 1 Are we making eye contact?

Speaker 1 It was just the bees' face.

Speaker 1 He's like, Yo, dude, what's up?

Speaker 1 God damn it, dude. I fucking, my life sucks.

Speaker 1 My dad would have to get like, he would get like a job somewhere kind of far away.

Speaker 1 It would be like a three-hour drive. So he would get the shittiest fucking motels.
It would just be like me, my dad, my brother, my uncle Doc, one of my cousins, and like four Peruvian dudes.

Speaker 1 And we would all be in like shitty motels. And I would just like share a room with like one of my uncles and be, it's hell.
It's disgusting. It's being like 27, sharing a shitty motel with your uncle.

Speaker 1 No problem with 24

Speaker 1 fucking sucks. Waking you up at 5 a.m.
with them going like,

Speaker 1 the loudest shit you've ever heard. I'm just sunburnt from being outside all day.
We ate at the worst possible place, just in the middle of like nowhere, Delaware.

Speaker 1 My dad's like, you believe how big this fucking steak is? Just eats a 24-ounce steak. It was 12 bucks.

Speaker 1 Man, that was great. Just lays in a room, he's like,

Speaker 1 farting his ass off. Damn, me and Bees.

Speaker 1 We were like a couple. He would snore.
I'd throw pillows at him. him.
It was, yeah.

Speaker 1 Great times. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, my dad still held down. Like, if he went away to work by himself, he would just eat ice cream and steak every night.
He was just like a complete bad kid. Ice cream, steak, milkshakes.

Speaker 1 No one's around. Yeah, he's just you in the middle.

Speaker 1 I'll see you in the ice cream.

Speaker 1 There's nothing else in the universe.

Speaker 1 He got his

Speaker 1 atrial fibulation, whatever. Atrial fibulation.
You got to fix. He's like, I'm like, dude, you got to start chilling.
He's like,

Speaker 1 I got a brand new heart. Fixed his AFib?

Speaker 1 They go up through your leg. Oh, okay.
Send a thing and like cauterize the vein. They go like through your whole body and cauterize the vein.

Speaker 1 And apparently, I was talking to one of my friends who does like medical stuff. And he said, if you're doing surgery and they have like your heart open, sometimes you'll just go into like AFib.

Speaker 1 And he said they just take a little thing and tap it with a tool and it sends it back into regular beating. Oh, crazy.
What do we got here?

Speaker 1 Amber.

Speaker 1 Ambi. Oh, crap.
Well, missing child. Yeah, if you see her, black shirt, black shorts, wears glasses.

Speaker 1 Fucked up.

Speaker 1 Why are you looking around?

Speaker 1 Oh, the description was Nate.

Speaker 1 Nate's girlfriend put on Amber Alert.

Speaker 1 What was the description?

Speaker 1 But she was black. Kind of was, but it was a girl.
Glasses, Zesty.

Speaker 1 Be on the lookout for a Zesty guy. 18-year-old white guy.

Speaker 1 Be on the lookout for a Zesty guy in a rickshaw.

Speaker 1 I wish just once to like finally see a guy like i get those amber alerts all the time i feel helpless they they put out a fucking wide net dude that's probably in like houston it's in like yeah it's in like saledo texas so hopefully nothing bad happens then we'll be on video being like it's nate yeah you know

Speaker 1 it's usually it's usually a parent yeah the amber alerts usually uh that's a youngster for that though what do you mean they said the guy the suspect who has the uh the child is only 18.

Speaker 1 oh never mind So maybe it's maybe it's a, yeah, who fucking knows. It's not great.
It could be an older brother.

Speaker 1 Older brothers, like, I'm getting my sister. But yeah, usually it is a parent that's being like, fucking.
It's usually a dad. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or a mom going without custody. Usually dad.
Moms have to fuck up so bad in Naki custody.

Speaker 1 It's not even funny. It is how you end up on an ambulance, though.
True, true. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, trying to do the right thing. You're a crazy bitch.
I'm going to call the cops. I'm doing it.
That ride would be tight, though. You're getting ice out.

Speaker 1 When you're driving, you see the fucking description of your your car on a fucking road sign. You go, ooh.
You're at the aquarium. You're like, just give me 10 more minutes, man.

Speaker 1 I'm just trying to take the kid to the aquarium.

Speaker 1 That is such a fucking hellhole of a situation, man.

Speaker 1 Losing your kids? Yeah, like

Speaker 1 having the state do all that stuff. And the state go, you're literally not allowed to see them.
Yeah, I really. Too much partying.

Speaker 1 I was a, I, like, volunteered briefly way, way, way back as, like, a volunteer for, like, assisting in like family court where, like, you had to, like, I had to go talk to kids who were in, like, up for foster stuff.

Speaker 1 And there was one dude, there was a dad who,

Speaker 1 I mean, he was, he, you know, he needed to do better, but the funniest part was he failed the drug test for cocaine, but he knew the exact like parts per million in your bloodstream that it was allowed to be.

Speaker 1 He goes, what are you talking about? My levels are fine. The judge is like, no, I gave you mine, which is like, if you have any, it's over.
He's like, well, that's unfair. Well, that's not right.

Speaker 1 Cocaine's going to get in there. Oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 He was like, I had to. He fucking bumped.
He goes, I took a drug test and it didn't come up. She's like, that's why I gave you mine.
He was like, this is bullshit, dad. This is fucking unfair.

Speaker 1 This is kind of bullshit.

Speaker 1 Let the boy have a bump.

Speaker 1 Can't even see his kid, dude. Obviously, he's going to do a bump.
Just wanted a bump.

Speaker 1 Can you imagine not being able to see your kid? You're at the bar. Someone's like, I got some Coke.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fuck it. Yeah, for sure.
Shit sucks. Yeah, or...
I feel good for 10 minutes. Although he might have been at the bar two years before where he had his kid and was like,

Speaker 1 I would love some fucking coke. That's for sure, where it started.
But at this this point, it's like, what the fuck? Yeah, at this point, once you get, yeah, once you're not allowed. It's bump city.

Speaker 1 It's bump time. It's bump time.
But you got, I mean, he's supposed to be, I think he was in trouble for not making enough money to give to his kids.

Speaker 1 That's even more bump time. That's bump time.
I don't have any money. And someone goes, do you want a bump? You go, yes.
That's why he doesn't have money.

Speaker 1 I know. True.
I mean,

Speaker 1 it's a chicken in the egg. It's not.

Speaker 1 It's definitely the bump's fault. But once the bump's taken over, dude, you go fucking.
Yeah, true. You gotta just mean the bump.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or just be like, yo, let's get this Coke up and see you fucking get a job on a forklift. Like, let's fucking move this.
Let's go. That's nice.
Yeah, let's get the bumps up.

Speaker 1 You go bumps the lines. Yeah.
Get you a warehouse job. We'll be doing fucking lines.
And the judge is sending you, like, when bro has the bag, Schmeagel means

Speaker 1 a nice. That would be nice to get like, because you do have like deadbeat fathers and just being like, yo, put them on amphetamines, bro.
Get these guys cranked up. Get a broom in their hands.

Speaker 1 Get them on the fucking construction site sweeping up. Yeah.
Get them methed out.

Speaker 1 Go the opposite.

Speaker 1 I did it.

Speaker 1 Almost worked. Yeah, exactly.
He methed the boys up and said, we love Czechoslovakia.

Speaker 1 Czechoslovakia is ours, dude. That would be it.
It's like meth these guys up and get them in some grind set mentality.

Speaker 1 Because, you know, maybe they're going a complete different, you know, wrong direction with it. If you're in an office not doing meth, what are you doing? It's a fair point.

Speaker 1 That's crazy. You got got to be stemmed up.
Offices. I've stemmed up and gone to work and it was the best day of my life.
It's awesome. I was walking fast around.

Speaker 1 I was being mad, walking fast everywhere.

Speaker 1 You know what? I like working at this garage. I can work here the rest of my life.

Speaker 1 Doing demo with the coffee was the best. Just crushing like a

Speaker 1 24-ounce.

Speaker 1 Speaking of the devil, there's some coffee here. Ooh.
Lamaze quick to his face. I used to work for my dad and just crush coffee and just like break stuff.
It's fucking sick. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just drop entire, drop ceilings, let them fall. Yeah, Beezer gave me Adderall when I was at Toyota selling fucking crush mufflers and shit.
I acted like I knew what I was talking about.

Speaker 1 When I was on Adderall, I knew cars. You're Elliot Army.
Yeah. I was fully Andy Elliott.
I was going, were you fucking not going to take this?

Speaker 1 Listen what I said. The soldiers abducted my fucking wife, you asshole.

Speaker 1 Shout out to the bro. True.
He needs, I need a fucking, we need to get him in here, man. He'll come.
Yeah, we got to get him in here, bro. Get people.
Get our fucking, get the bag up, man.

Speaker 1 We can all get shredded. We should take our shirts off for him and just fucking smother him.
Dude, I would, he would murder me. You think so? If he was like, popped your top off, devastating.

Speaker 1 He might change my life, though. That's what he does.
He motivates me. True.
I could give him a hug and be like, thank you, bro. Yeah, I needed to be publicly humiliated on the internet.

Speaker 1 I saw a guy who popped his shirt off and then proposed to his girlfriend. Thank you, Laman.
At the Army convention. Proposed to his girlfriend at the

Speaker 1 time with his shirt off? Yeah, he popped his shirt off and he big upped him. Which I will say, you know, everyone likes to say, you know, the dark side of it is the body shaving, all that stuff.

Speaker 1 That's not great. But imagine Elliott being like, bro, you're so fucking jacked right now.
That would be nuts. And then you propose to your wife, and Elliott's just like, let's fucking go.

Speaker 1 That would be sick. That would be so sick.
Yeah. You watch the video like 10 years later, you're like, yeah, this is a good idea.

Speaker 1 Having Andy Elliott get hyped on you would be so sick. But yeah, when she leaves you, you're back to being fat.
You're watching your fucking wedding tape. Time to grind.
You're sitting there.

Speaker 1 No, that is bump time, dude.

Speaker 1 Dude, I used to be so so skinny. Andy Elliott said I was jacked at my wedding.

Speaker 1 Y'all have a bump.

Speaker 1 Having your marriage fall apart and all you have left is your video of you, shirtless, at the Elliott Army, proposing to

Speaker 1 be devastating. Although that guy's fucking probably making six figures a month, dude, or at least five a month.
So, you know, I should shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 Six figs, grinding. He's grinding his fucking ass off.
My hard work paid off. Your ambition just met its match with Robin Hood.
You play for the win, not just on game day, every day.

Speaker 1 Channel that drive into your money. Trade stocks and ETFs,

Speaker 1 options, and futures all on one platform. You expect more from yourself.
Expect more from your money. Get started today at robinhood.com/slash your money.
Your money, your move.

Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Nos Energy. Nos Energy exists to boost your horsepower.
Literally every single day I wake up, I need a boost. I need a boost all day long, guys.

Speaker 1 If you want the high-performance boost that tastes great, Nos Energy comes in a range of refreshing flavors. Original, GT Grape, and Sonic Sour.
And Nos Zero Sugar is, you guessed it, sugar-free.

Speaker 1 Noss Energy, get after it. Find out more at drinknoss.com, man.
Dude, I didn't. So I started to say, I didn't finish.
The race? Oh, yeah. I'll stop cutting you off.
No, dude. So let's go.

Speaker 1 I'm stimmed up, dude. I'm bumped up.

Speaker 1 It's Tim first. Tim right now.
It's bumped city.

Speaker 1 But yeah, dude, it was supposed to be hard sand. So I show up and I was kind of nervous.
I was like, fuck, man.

Speaker 1 He ran the 630 on a treadmill, which I knew, like, you know, he's not battling the elements. So I had that on my side, but I was like, still 15 seconds ahead of me.

Speaker 1 But we get there, and there's like this hurricane that's just like bouncing around the ocean right now. And apparently there was a storm.

Speaker 1 I guess a week or two before I came there that like transformed the entire beach. Yeah.
So like he was, you know, he stays there all summer.

Speaker 1 So he was like, he knew it it was like, yeah, it's hard sand. We'll be fine.
I show up, dude. It was like soft, like inches of soft sand.

Speaker 1 So we had to run like three lifeguard stands down, which is a half a mile, then back. So it was like a whole mile.

Speaker 1 Dude, the first quarter mile was fucking soft, super, super soft, like top of the beach soft sand. That was, I don't know if it was dry.

Speaker 1 I can't even, I don't know if it was dry or wet or what, but it was fucking like your whole foot sank down in it. So we did a quarter mile in that, and I'm checking my pace.

Speaker 1 He was pushing like a five-minute, 30-second mile, and then fucking like the softest sand imaginable. And I'm just trailing him like, there's no way.
Like, this is

Speaker 1 suicide.

Speaker 1 You got to tip your hat. Yeah, I was like, this is suicide.
So I kind of slowed down behind him, and he eventually slowed down.

Speaker 1 Then we got to that third lifeguard stand. We came around and I was just going to follow him the whole way, but I was like, let me push the pace a little bit and see what he's got in the tank.

Speaker 1 Pushed the pace, turned around, and he was lagging. So I was like, oh, he's playing with my head, man.
He's going going to fucking come flying up behind me.

Speaker 1 So I gave it a good quarter mile push again, turned around. I was like, oh, my God, he was back there.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then I forgot that I had pushed the pace, but now I have to do a whole other quarter mile in the softest fucking sand imaginable. So I was dying.

Speaker 1 And then I was like, all right, I see the finish line. And Chloe was like, pick me up.
And I honestly picked her up. Of course.
Wholesome as hell.

Speaker 1 It was a quiet. It was wholesome.
It's a quiet flex, though.

Speaker 1 It was wholesome, but the flexibility. It might come from his perspective on this.
It's a flex. The flex of a guy holding his child

Speaker 1 crossing the finish line. She's 35 pounds.
Going, thank you, God. Thank you.
I love my beautiful family.

Speaker 1 And you're back there dying and fucking shit. He was in the Sriracha singlet.
He was in a Sriracha singlet. And in a singlet.
But he had the shorts.

Speaker 1 I also, I was telling you, props to him for not. I would have, second you took the leads.
Dude, I would have sat in the sand. That's what I would have laid in the sand than going in the water.

Speaker 1 That's what I said. I'm like, dude, you took that seriously? That's so gay.
I was just fucking with you to try to make you run a mile.

Speaker 1 No, I had nothing but respect because he pushed it so hard, finished it out after coming off of like a pretty serious medical thing. Yeah.
And it was like, dude, you are a fucking psycho.

Speaker 1 Just trained for a month.

Speaker 1 Dude, it was real the hardest shit. It was the hardest kind of race I've ever done.
Yeah. Just running in sand.
Your wife sent me some videos. It was nice.
Then she did the start off.

Speaker 1 The startoff was so mean, dude. Start off with so funny.
And she was like, look, these two fat boys are on it. I was like, she's so mean to me, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's funny she saw my breath all the time she was so proud of you though she was proud you came back she was pumped but it was also like but yeah if you're an onlooker you gotta be like damn we were getting

Speaker 1 insane person we were getting some weird looks because we were like right with each other running like trudging through the sand but then afterwards there was like a I guess he was a life.

Speaker 1 I met one of the lifeguards there. He's a fan of the cast.
He's a man. But there was another guy who was fucking sprinting.
After we were done, I think one of the lifeguards got him charged up.

Speaker 1 Got him charged up, and he was sprinting. He said, nobody's going to outwork me.

Speaker 1 Nobody's going to outwork me today. He was sprinting in the fucking sand.
But yeah, the race was sick.

Speaker 1 But, dude, I watched a thing today on Twitter where a marathon mom, like the runner lady, her whole family was there and her kid, same situation was like reached out.

Speaker 1 Like, mom picked me up and she blew past her whole family. Yeah.
And she was just like, fuck off and cross the finish line. It was like,

Speaker 1 couldn't do that because it was in, there was a part of me being like, I don't want to fuck up my time, but I was like, I got to pick up my sweet angel, trot her across the finish.

Speaker 1 But I think I did probably probably like seven something, I think. Let me check.
I think I did like. Seven, something in the sand is.
It's not bad. You're moving, bro.
I was, it felt so fucking slow.

Speaker 1 But it was cool.

Speaker 1 It was a good, you know, it was all, to me, I was like ready to trash talk, but I was like, no, it was, it was all props to the hoss, man, because that was, for real, like an insane display that he was able to do that.

Speaker 1 I can't find my fucking workouts.

Speaker 1 It was about seven something. That's something to be proud of.
It's whatever. No, you should be proud.
I hit the track. I got back to Monday,

Speaker 1 Tuesday, hit the track hard again. I thought I was going to die.
I was after my cortisol spike. I was like, I got to get the...

Speaker 1 I ran the day after my cortisol spaz and, for real, thought I was having a heart attack. I finished.
What is cortisol? It's a stress hormone. It's just like.
So you spike your stress with.

Speaker 1 Dude, I should read the whole post. I just saw the graphic and it was like,

Speaker 1 any excuse to fucking chug

Speaker 1 some Joe in the morning. I was like, you know what, Huberman, you're making a lot of sense right now.
Let me just crush. I need to drink more coffee earlier.
That way, my cerzol crashes.

Speaker 1 It's the same excuse people are like, you're supposed to drink wine. It's good for you.

Speaker 1 No, you're not.

Speaker 1 Apparently, you didn't. I didn't read the rest of the study.
Well, the study apparently was completely funded by alcohol wine. Yeah.
Like 100 wine. Wine did the reservatrol.
That was their big thing.

Speaker 1 There was an antioxidant in grapes called Reservatrol that's apparently good for you. Yeah.
And they always go to Europe. They're like, this is why European is so healthy.

Speaker 1 They drink wine with every meal.

Speaker 1 I think it's probably also a social thing.

Speaker 1 You know, if you're hanging out with people, you're going to have a happier,

Speaker 1 better life. You're less likely to

Speaker 1 lay around. It's the hangout.
Yeah. It's the chill.
It's the vibe. It's the B-dubs.
It's the B-dubs council. I hit a B-dubs council in

Speaker 1 Grand Rapids, Michigan. Did you really? Yeah.
How was it? Hit the council for the UFC on Saturday. Oh, that's nice.
Yeah, it was great. You went to the dubs? Yeah.
Assembled the council. That's nice.

Speaker 1 The council was me, Sam Talon, and Sam Murill.

Speaker 1 Good council. That is good.
Also, B-dubs is approved by RFK Driedner. No,

Speaker 1 Beef Towel. Yeah, they do the Beef Towel.
It was approved. Yeah, so.
You're just following orders from Winter. You're a soldier following orders.
I was listening to the fucking

Speaker 1 fine. I'll go to B-dubs.

Speaker 1 What's your stance on 32-ounce Bud Lights? And you're obviously

Speaker 1 no seed oils. Dude, I mean, if two a day are good for you, why not 18? Why not have two pitchers?

Speaker 1 That's good.

Speaker 1 But yeah, man, that was

Speaker 1 a sick week, man.

Speaker 1 We did the beach. The beach was very fun, like hanging with the fam, and then just did the dreaded show at the Atlantic City Ocean Casino Resort.
Why was it so dreaded? Dude, it wasn't fun.

Speaker 1 You did great. It was fun.
Sure, you did great. It was good.
It was just new stuff, dude.

Speaker 1 I pigged out trying to do that much new.

Speaker 1 It was an absolute psycho move. Yeah.
But it was fun.

Speaker 1 My heart was in it. Yeah.
I just got too, I got too pumped on the John Martin documentary because the whole time

Speaker 1 they would talk about how

Speaker 1 he was like a a really good musician and he would work with labels and stuff. And they'd be like, bro,

Speaker 1 you got the goods. Just make this one album.
You're good. And he would go, I couldn't do it.
I'd have to make what I wanted. He'd make the weirdest bullshit.
And it would never work.

Speaker 1 Fuck yeah. It was tight, though.
He was just like, yeah, well, I could have done that. Why would I do that? He's like, I'd rather just play what I want.
And then he's like, it just is what it is.

Speaker 1 Which, you know, I'm not likening myself to JM, obviously. No, I see it.
But

Speaker 1 it heartened me. It was like, just do the stuff you like doing and just have fun.
So it's cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was just it was him and his bro would hit the bar just crush pints Play a show in like a theater hall and he goes we couldn't get back to the pub fast enough.

Speaker 1 They would go back crush the Guinnesses

Speaker 1 I was thinking about I kept sending you all the things on the plane that shit fires me up eventually. Yeah, but it all it ended the ending was rough.

Speaker 1 It was definitely a cautionary tale gonna be a crash landing. It was a complete crash landing.
His diet. So like the funny part was like they started the documentary.

Speaker 1 The starting point was that, like, he was laid up in a neck brace because he had been driving drunk. Now, I want to get a fucking neck brace.

Speaker 1 He had the brace and he crashed into a cow in the countryside and got like fucked up. He's drunk.
He drunkly.

Speaker 1 It's a hell of a run, dude.

Speaker 1 It's like a hell of a run. I know.
And then he just drunk hit a cow in a neck brace? Drunk? No, the neck brace is from

Speaker 1 fucked. No, I know.
I'm saying, and that's how it, like, I mean, that's a legend. And then his like pancreas, one of them, something exploded.
His spleen couldn't drink.

Speaker 1 and then all he would do was drink whiskey and eat pickled eggs. That was the doctor, like, you got to get it together.
And he's like, all right, whiskey and a pickled egg diet.

Speaker 1 Just farting himself into oblivion.

Speaker 1 Farts.

Speaker 1 The worst farts of all time. And he was a big guy at the end.
Yeah, he was a big boy. He was a big dog eating fucking eggs and whiskey.

Speaker 1 He was like a, if you look up old videos of John Martin, he was just like a thin rock star type. And he became a for real

Speaker 1 whiskey and eggs is crazy. He's going to be a freak.
Whiskey and eggs, and he had like a mangled foot and then they chopped off at the end of the documentary.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's crazy. Dude, they wheel.
He was doing like, he was for real, like a huge musician. And he like was off the road for a while.
And it ends with him just doing a show in a pub.

Speaker 1 He was like a, like, if he had like a cult following where he wanted to be. Awesome.
Dude, it's for real. He just goes back to a small Irish pub and just fucking rips a show for like 40 people.

Speaker 1 Can't, can't get up. It really was.

Speaker 1 Sitting down, he can't stand up anymore. I'm sure everything hurt, but.
No, dude, he couldn't get there. And then

Speaker 1 funniest part was he didn't think of any of the legit, so he just showed up, and like, no one had any idea where to plug anything in. He just was like, oh, fuck, I didn't plan this out at all

Speaker 1 to his dying day. It'll work out, though.
The dude's a man. I mean, he's a fucking man.
He's a huge man.

Speaker 1 If I end up back at Kelly's,

Speaker 1 great run. Huge, bro.
Yeah. Sit down.
The stool. Sit there.
Go. Missing foot.
You guys want to hear a Trump impression?

Speaker 1 Give me another Guinness. I'll do a Trump impression.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's the fucking bro, dude. John Martin's absolute beast.
He was, I think Eric Clapton covered one of his songs. And then him, he was like, he hung with like the big dogs.
And also,

Speaker 1 dude, who was he? Phil Collins. Him and Phil Collins got divorced at the same time.
Oh, nice. And just lived in a house together and both worked on separate albums.

Speaker 1 And they'd be in like recording and they'd have to take turns like fighting with their ex-wives.

Speaker 1 And Phil Collins was like, it was honestly like one of the saddest periods of my life hanging out with that guy.

Speaker 1 But he goes, I got a great album out of it. And the guy was a fucking man.
They would both be in the.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's dude. Look at that.
Give that bro to the camera. Give him his respects, dude.
Show him to the cam, man.

Speaker 1 John Martin, final form, absolute fucking beast.

Speaker 1 Let me take a look at this. One fucking foot in the pub in the chair.

Speaker 1 He's so fucking, dude's so fucking sick. I've been studying all of his songs.
He does like crazy. Every song's in like the weirdest tuning possible.
He just completely rearranged it. What?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's hammered. He's gone.

Speaker 1 And his live performances. Let me see that, John.

Speaker 1 Let me let the bro fucking glimpse this. Bro, look at that.
That is absolute heaven, bro. That's Kelly's bump.
Wheelchair at the pump. That's Kelly's pump.
He's the best.

Speaker 1 He's for real the best.

Speaker 1 Let me show you the before. The before and after is crazy.

Speaker 1 Yep, there he was.

Speaker 1 There he was, just slowly filling it. He eat a

Speaker 1 I think one of his organs one of his organs exploded He turned into robut Nick dude

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's truly the fucking man all of his live performances He's like you can hear how coked out he is the entire time He's like, hello and all that or whatever. Okay, now.

Speaker 1 I've been wearing this shirt for seven days in a row. He wanted to sit down and win from me.
Come on now. Let's do it.
Dude.

Speaker 1 Him and his bro did an album for a, or a like a promo for an album where they were like supposed to be like boxers in a ring. Just that was like the picture.

Speaker 1 And then out of nowhere, like while they're taking pictures, he just slugged his boy. Obviously.

Speaker 1 Obviously.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was absolutely the fucking may own.

Speaker 1 Yeah, John Martin, he's,

Speaker 1 I've been getting real deep into his stuff. Are you excited for the Oasis? Yeah, I'm fucking pumped.

Speaker 1 I'm very pumped on those guys. We're going to go see Oasis in Chicago.
Yeah, that'll be nice. Very exciting.

Speaker 1 That's the best part. I like when guys do, like in between songs, they just talk and fuck around.
They're like,

Speaker 1 yeah, I caught him doing it. He's got it down.
He's nice. They're both, I watch their videos as much as I watch them, listen to their music.
It's awesome.

Speaker 1 Their YouTube videos of them just talking shit. So fucking funny.
I have one interview where I love it. When he's like, how do you handle the hangovers? Back to the pub.
Don't dwell on it.

Speaker 1 Fuck you. Yeah, English guys get after it, dude.
English guys don't fuck around. Apparently, the pints in America, I've learned, are

Speaker 1 a lost art in England. It's like a whole thing.

Speaker 1 It's like as much detail as we put into like latte art over there like getting that foam top on the beer is like a whole different thing their beers more carbonated apparently So they want to they fill they overfill the beer on purpose to get that fucking

Speaker 1 I've been all these talks make me want to split the G a little

Speaker 1 I have an English bro who tasked me. He goes if you he showed me a picture of a pint.
He goes if you know anywhere that serves a pint like this, let me know. I need I need it, bro.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I have a, I do like the I'm on a big English kick right now. It's good, they're funny, they are, they're very funny.

Speaker 1 Did you see the meme of like the archetypal English life or life of an English guy? And it's like

Speaker 1 no, it's just like a

Speaker 1 true, a true Brexit geezer, dude. It's just like a seven-step point list or a checklist where it's like, you know, go to uni, graduate, Thailand trip with the boys, job here, beat wife, die.

Speaker 1 So shit rocks.

Speaker 1 yeah they're good bros the angles are good bros but definitely check out the uh i think there's a couple john martin documentaries but dude it's fuck this one is like i watched it i was like damn this is fucked

Speaker 1 this episode is brought to you by prize picks matt what was your favorite part of last football season super bowl yeah what are you most excited about for the upcoming season super bowl super bowl can't wait for the super bowl guy i'll tell you what josh allen he's gonna have a heck of a year i'm excited to see what aaron rodgers does with the with the steelers i yeah i'm a big fan of aaron rodgers and he's a great guy i've met him personally and he's extremely nice and if you don't cheer for him you're just being a punk true uh all this football talk is getting me pumped and plump thankfully the football season is already underway on prize picks prize picks is offering season-long stat picks that we can take right now before the season even starts i'll tell you what prize picks is the best way to get on uh get action in sports in more than 30 states including california texas and georgia so now that you and me are Texans, this is a good opportunity for us to use our sports knowledge.

Speaker 1 All we have to do is pick more or less on those objections. All we have to do is download the app today and use code Drench to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup.

Speaker 1 That's code Drench to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. Prize picks, run your game.
Just oh, Lemise. Plug, bro.
Plug in your magic show.

Speaker 1 Look at this.

Speaker 1 Hey, everybody, it's me, LeBron. I'm going to be coming to you out in New Jersey on the 26th.
Enough of this cute shit.

Speaker 1 This is what I do. All right.

Speaker 1 New Jersey on the 26th. I'm trying to seven FMPA.
Boston,

Speaker 1 Providence, Rhode Island. And then there's another place off

Speaker 1 Baltimore. I'm going to be around.
Please come watch the shows. LeMer Lee.fun.

Speaker 1 You.

Speaker 1 Also, please go to my YouTube channel.

Speaker 1 Go to my YouTube channel and just check it out, please.

Speaker 1 You fall every time.

Speaker 1 Every time you get up from your fucking little cutesy thing.

Speaker 1 Hey, guys, I just added a bunch of shows just now.

Speaker 1 Buy tickets, buy tickets, please.

Speaker 1 That's like four feet away from where you were. It's a crazy sight.
He's trying to get out of the camera. The camera got, he saw that red light.
It got to him.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Goodbye.

Speaker 1 I'm going to peep that. But that's what he loved to do.
I watched a way worse documentary. Did I tell you this last week about the cameraman in Iraq? No.

Speaker 1 Don't watch it. I forget what it's called.
It was this guy who, like,

Speaker 1 it's a, it's a good documentary, but the way it ends is fucking horrific. What happens? He's following soldiers around.
They shoot an Iraqi and let him die. Okay.

Speaker 1 Like, they, like, drag him because by law, we're supposed to, the United States is supposed to try to revive someone. Okay.
Like, help them. Was it a civilian? No, he had a gun.

Speaker 1 He was shooting at them. Oh, all right.
So they were like, yeah, but it's on camera. He just sits there and films this guy die.
and you see the guy like

Speaker 1 like it's it's yeah

Speaker 1 that's the enemy of course but you know watching it's fucked up filming it's crazy

Speaker 1 yeah yeah yeah what we're supposed to at least give him medical attention we are the nicest dude yeah we could destroy

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 that's so weird it is weird like you have to shoot them but you also have to try to revive them i mean it's nice i get the point it's nice but that's also fucking weird like i guess you don't, I guess you want to shoot.

Speaker 1 Well, these guys didn't.

Speaker 1 They were sitting there like, fuck you, dude.

Speaker 1 While he's laying there dying, the guy that one of the troops comes over is like, oh, yo, you thought you were fucking cool a second ago. Now look at you.
You're fucking dead.

Speaker 1 If someone was shooting at me, I'd be angry as well, though. I'd be furious, yeah.
Especially after all the things they've seen. Yeah.
Like you saw your friends get shot. Yes, exactly.

Speaker 1 That's such a weird thing. Yeah, if somebody harmed you and I saw them dying, I wouldn't be like, help them.
If somebody tried to end my life, I wouldn't be like, all right, guys, time out.

Speaker 1 Because then you can also get shot while you're helping the guy. Yeah.
Unless I mean, did they have another channel? They want him to pull him into the shelter and just talk shit to him. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Put a blanket over his head. They're like, he's dead.
Clearly, not dead. Well, you can, but you can still talk shit to them and try to put a band-aid on him.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And this guy just filmed the whole thing. Yeah.
So that was his. I thought this guy was fucked, though.
He was

Speaker 1 an Australian dude, and he was, he got to Iraq right away, like right before the war started. Yeah.
And he got like embedded with a bunch of people, but he became like a liaison between

Speaker 1 Al-Qaeda. So Al-Qaeda was giving him their tapes to give to the press, and he would go out with them at night

Speaker 1 and film them firing mortars into like US bases. They were

Speaker 1 driving. I think they were telling me this guy dies.
He makes it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah.
What's it called? Only the dead. Does that sound right? No.
Is it older?

Speaker 1 It's older, yeah.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I see one called the Cameraman Story from 2003.

Speaker 1 and another one called

Speaker 1 Honduras

Speaker 1 That's kind of how the fuck do you even set that up like yo guys I'm gonna

Speaker 1 can I have some of your yeah I guess it is only the dead

Speaker 1 Michael Wares

Speaker 1 yeah that must be it unless there's a different Australian version of that is that how that ends our cow we're in it. Yeah, that's it.

Speaker 1 That's how it ends is him filming a guy die for like 10 minutes Does the soldiers get in trouble? I bet the soldiers got in trouble. Oh man, what a dick.
Yeah. Why'd he film that?

Speaker 1 I don't know, but I guess it's his job to like. When you watch it,

Speaker 1 I know you can't understand. We can't understand.
Now, watching a guy die in a drink, watching a guy die and seeing dudes be like, fuck him. It's like, yeah, some harsh.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's literally the harshest. It's the worst thing.
It's the meanest you can be. It's the worst thing.
I was just laying on the couch watching it. Like,

Speaker 1 the fuck? I got to play with the Toledo rockets. Dude, we got to get some action.
Yeah, but if you're like, I mean, it's not even competitive, would not even be the word, but like,

Speaker 1 you'd be so charged up, dude. You're in a firefight.
Yeah. I, I couldn't, you're not even thinking clearly.
That's what people talk about, like, cops and shit.

Speaker 1 It's like, dude, so they just got shot at. Yeah.
It's like, yeah, you emptied a clip in him. It's like, it's not nice.
You shouldn't do that. But it's like, bro, I'd be, I'd spazz the fuck out.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I can hardly not spaz like driving with my wife. Dude, the footage of him filming it's like night vision of all the Al-Qaeda guys is like, it's scary, bro.
Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 And it was right when David, his name's David Pearl, right? The guy got his head, the journalist. Oh, no.
that got beheaded. So this guy, this guy was crazy.

Speaker 1 He was like willing to, he's like, yeah, I'll meet up with you guys.

Speaker 1 He might cut my head off, but

Speaker 1 yeah, damn. Yeah, they show that a little.
They show the Pearl thing a little in the documentary. That's a tough one.
Yeah, that's fucked up.

Speaker 1 It's really, they like show it right before they cut his head, and then you hear the audio of it.

Speaker 1 It's so bad. Oh,

Speaker 1 no. Oh, it's never a clean sweat.
It's a knife. It's literally a saw.
Oh, Jesus. It's a saw every time.
Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's really bad.

Speaker 1 I don't know if you guys knew that. The Iraq war was bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I just found out. It's 2025.

Speaker 1 I'm still confused how they even fight wars now. With all the technology, it's like, it's crazy.
Like, you have satellites giving you all the imaging.

Speaker 1 I like though, but Ukraine-Russia is fucking trench warfare. Yeah.
Just with shitty Walmart drones. God damn.
Just come in and blow you up.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but like, oh, man, I guess everyone, I guess everyone, not everyone, but I guess the major powers have competing technology. So you can like do like six.
I think Russia would be going wild.

Speaker 1 You would think. Are they not? Didn't hundreds of thousands of people die? No, yeah, a lot.
But I just mean like the technology.

Speaker 1 It's so weird. The technology now is like you set up fucking like

Speaker 1 fishing wire. above your line so drones can't come in.
Really? So it's just like lines. Yeah, there's just wires everywhere.
What?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's fucked up oh the bronch oh so it's a little like you can't like trench warfare with a canopy of like tiny wires to stop the drones yeah

Speaker 1 it's a it's crazy that's fucking scary the scariest yeah dude watch i mean don't watch it i guess it's like it would have to the canopy would have to be like the sides blockaded too so you have like a tunnel every once in a while i've seen drone footage of one getting into like a tunnel oh no yeah and the drones are just like doing Little robot attacks.

Speaker 1 They're just drones. They're literally like.
Yeah, yeah, like the shitty Walmart drones. But are they weaponized? Yeah, they just tie a fucking grenade to it.

Speaker 1 So scary. Oh, man.
Yeah. Yeah, I mean, dude, let's, yeah, we got to all come to the table, dude.

Speaker 1 They came to the table this week. I heard.
Yeah. That's good.
It was nice. I watched the Trump Dogs, Zelensky, Macron.

Speaker 1 I watched them at a table. They were buddies.
But there was no Russians at the table. Putin was not there.
They're trying to get Putin. He sent one of his bros? No.

Speaker 1 It was just, I think it was like a securities guarantee. I forget exactly what that is with Ukraine.
Isn't it going in the way of like Russia's going to get a little bit of Ukraine?

Speaker 1 I don't think they're going to take it over.

Speaker 1 That's like the problem. Yeah.
Zelensky is saying we're not going to concede that territory. Yeah.
And,

Speaker 1 but also, we won't join NATO. That's kind of the

Speaker 1 big thing. All right.

Speaker 1 And I think Russia wants Ukraine to demilitarize,

Speaker 1 which,

Speaker 1 yeah. If I'm Ukraine, I'm going not so fast.

Speaker 1 True. A second.

Speaker 1 yeah, true. They're just like completely coming in with tanks.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, we're gonna leave, but you don't, you don't get to have guns anymore. Oh,

Speaker 1 we'll be back in five years. Yeah, true.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Maybe, I mean, yeah, I just probably like seeing Trump on the roof, dude, when he was walking around on the roof.
What was he doing on the roof? He's just up there taking a walk.

Speaker 1 He was on the roof of the White House. Reporters were like, Mr.
President, what are you doing? He was just

Speaker 1 going for a walk.

Speaker 1 I like that. Before you go to the negotiating table, stroll around on the roof like fucking Zeus at Spud's house.
You go, dude, this guy's retarded as fuck.

Speaker 1 You just took a roof stroll? Took a mad dog walk, dude. Was it like a roof? There's nothing up there.
There's no like garden or anything. The roof is like H-vac units.

Speaker 1 He was just walking around up there.

Speaker 1 Why are you up there?

Speaker 1 Hopefully, they figure it out, man.

Speaker 1 That's good, though, before a meeting. Yeah, get on the roof.
Stand on the roof,

Speaker 1 watch your guests come in. Yeah.
Like Batman. I mean, dude, and I'm still mystified.
Like, how much? I like it's a dumb question, but like, how much say does the president really have?

Speaker 1 And do they have like the final word for real, or are there people being like, yo, bro, like, no, you have to because, like, I guess they're just getting advised, and then we're talking deep seat,

Speaker 1 I guess. He's not, yeah, yeah, I don't know, you know what I mean? But it is tight to just get up on the roof.
Like, I'm making a big decision right now. Just thinking up here,

Speaker 1 he didn't even say I was thinking, he literally, a reporter yelled, and he goes, just taking a walk.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 I'm back, though. That's all it takes.
Give me one fucking shot of him walking on the roof. I'm like, yo, that's the bro.
Guys, if I said about the list, I forgot about FC. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Forget about the fucking list, dude. Yeah,

Speaker 1 the letter. The letter is, hopefully, it's not real.
They did.

Speaker 1 Trump continues to just do the best work of all time. Never bring it up.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 This will pass. It will.
These fuckers will forget about it. It will.
It'll pass.

Speaker 1 It is funny just to be like, bro, like, man, that's such fucking old. That's old hat, man.
That's crazy. That's such old news.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've been seeing, because it reminded me of that because they used, a lot of the Dems use like weirdo on a lot of the repubs. Yeah, they're

Speaker 1 weird. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Now there's, I get a lot of like parenting stuff, and now there's people going viral, and they all do it.

Speaker 1 There's like, they all see one thing, and then they start copying it, but there's a bunch of like parenting experts being like, don't make your kid weird. You know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 And everyone's like, yeah, it's just like a weird, like, like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 1 And what he's gonna be weird, yeah, if you're a parent watching tick-tocks about not making them weird, that's what I'm saying. You got a weird kid, I think.

Speaker 1 My kid, who's been sitting on a couch watching me play a dynasty with Toledo, he's gonna beat the fuck out of your kids. Chill, he's been watching grind the film, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but it's like it is weird.

Speaker 1 They're coming out being, and it's like, I don't know if it's like purposely like to get people to argue in the comments, but it's like you need to make them not weird.

Speaker 1 It's your responsibility, and you know what I'm talking about. It's people being like, oh, I know what he's talking about.
It's like they're all fucking weird as hell. Is it like homophobic?

Speaker 1 No, I don't think it is. I'm not going to hit me like, dude, don't make your kids talk.
Maybe that would be fun. You know what the fuck I'm talking about, dude? Don't make me say it.

Speaker 1 Your kid better not be weird.

Speaker 1 I don't know what they're talking about. You don't want any of that gay shit at my school.

Speaker 1 That's been coming up for me a lot. It's being like, it's your job to correct that.
Teachers have to deal with weird kids and it's not fair. It's like, what are you saying? I get it.

Speaker 1 I'm with the teachers on that.

Speaker 1 You're having fucking weird ass kids show up to school. Yeah, but they're like,

Speaker 1 you can't, that's just like your parents are. I always, I always equated it to if you had like super nerd parents,

Speaker 1 you're going to raise a nerd.

Speaker 1 Same with fat. Fat families are a thing.
There's no harm in the nerd kid. I mean, he's going to just, I mean, as a teacher, as long as he's a smart nerd.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was a big revelation. Dumb nerds.
Dumb nerds.

Speaker 1 They're mostly dumb. It's not fucking big bang theory.
They're dumb as shit. Yeah.
And they're mean, dumb fuckers.

Speaker 1 I got fucked in college. I cheated off the nerdiest looking kid, and he was a dumb nerd.
We both got like 74. So I was like, what the fuck, dude? Why do you look like that? You can't even walk normal.

Speaker 1 I figured you would ace this test. You walk fast as hell, dude.
I thought you were the smartest kid alive. You walk in a 45-degree incline.
He's so fast.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was just like, this kid was like such a wretched nerd that I was like, bingo, here's my ticket through this class. I got a 75.
Come here's laughing because he

Speaker 1 I would have thought you were a super genius, dude.

Speaker 1 45 degree angle guy, man.

Speaker 1 90 pound fucking book bag, dude. Yeah.
On his tippy toes at all times.

Speaker 1 Tippy toe walker, no friends, giant book bag.

Speaker 1 This kid's gonna get a 95. You'd think he would crush the bio exam.

Speaker 1 My mom gave me a booklet of like basically grade school of like all my report cards, pictures, all all this stuff dude i did so good from like first to third grade i was i didn't really i was like crushing it in school i i i didn't i don't even remember this i had like in first grade i was in like the garnet valley newspaper for fucking spelling bee apparently i was a spelling whiz when i was little i can't i can't spell diarrhea still to save my life

Speaker 1 every time i i might

Speaker 1 i might get a private tutor just to teach me how to spell diarrhea every time i try to write it in a text message i try to write it like four times i spell it so badly it's not even, no one's close.

Speaker 1 Spell check's not even close. I can't.
But you're your daughter? It's like, no.

Speaker 1 Every time. Diary, I'm like, dude, come on.
You know what I'm talking about. Yeah.
You know exactly what I'm talking about. Dude, it's been really funny just going back through all my report cards.

Speaker 1 I was such a good little kid. I was, bro, I was the number one.

Speaker 1 You were a good boy. Until seventh or eighth, till puberty.
I think fourth. I think I got straight A's until like seventh or eighth grade.
I turned bad in like fourth. I remember I got a C

Speaker 1 for my last report card ever in eighth grade. Really? I had to call my parents.
I was getting O's.

Speaker 1 And they were like, I don't give a fuck, dude. I was getting O's and VGs.

Speaker 1 Religion, I was VGs, bro. I think when I was real young, like first and third, I was getting some.
I was a bad kid. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was a good boy, bro. I thought I was like bad when I was young.
I remember getting in trouble, but I was getting like, it was kind of bad. It wasn't like bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was just getting like redirected off. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. But no, I also, and it's funny.
It wasn't like getting kicked out of school for being a sex pervert. No, that was off the table.

Speaker 1 I do, it's funny seeing, like, reading the shit you wrote as a kid. I'll keep cutting you off.
I'm so sorry. Please, please.

Speaker 1 My dad would beat the fuck out of me if I got kicked out of a school for being a sex pervert. It wasn't an option, bro.
I would get fucking, dude, I would get beat.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he would beat me.

Speaker 1 No, that was. It wouldn't be like a belt or anything.
It would be like a fist fight. Yeah.
Beating. Disrespect was a big one.
If I, like, if I dress code violations, he'd be like, come on, man.

Speaker 1 If I was like disrespectful, I would get my ass kicked.

Speaker 1 No offense to your parenting.

Speaker 1 I'm just putting myself in the shoes of them finding porn at school.

Speaker 1 I'm getting the fuck beat. Well, that teacher shouldn't have went through my thing.
For sure.

Speaker 1 And she was always, or that guy's counselor. She was always on my ass.

Speaker 1 It was a whole long thing. That might be that.
That's a positive of having African-American parents. What? Like, did you even have a warrant to go through his phone?

Speaker 1 My parents would have been like, like, you did the right thing, sir. Yeah, they did.
My mom, neither one of them did that. They were, they were mad at it.

Speaker 1 Do you have a warrant?

Speaker 1 My son ain't no fucking sex movement.

Speaker 1 No, it wasn't. It wasn't.
I don't remember, man. Yeah, I wasn't that big of you.
I was 16 years old.

Speaker 1 16? Yeah,

Speaker 1 10th grade, 16. Yeah, you're 16 now.
Yeah, I guess that's old enough that I wouldn't have got my ass beat. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And the pictures was just.

Speaker 1 It was just pictures.

Speaker 1 Yeah, picture pics.

Speaker 1 Getting kicked out out of school, though, I would have got,

Speaker 1 it would have been the apocalypse. If I got kicked out, it would have been

Speaker 1 game over.

Speaker 1 I got in-school suspension. My dad belted me.
Yeah, you get in trouble for it. When did you get in-school suspension?

Speaker 1 Seventh, eighth,

Speaker 1 grade school, in-school suspension.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a death sentence. Got the belt.
By the time I got in high school, it wasn't. Yeah, by the time.
You didn't do anything that bad. What'd you do?

Speaker 1 Fucking laughed because my friend farted during Stations of the Cross. That's bullshit.
And then when I got detention, I yelled, he farted.

Speaker 1 and she was like that's two in one day that's in school suspension you're out get out

Speaker 1 stood in the hallway cried just going my dad

Speaker 1 i called it yeah

Speaker 1 yeah my dad chilled by the time we got to high school it was just you just get

Speaker 1 it wasn't getting like you weren't good because i got suspended in high school crazy to belt me in high school dude i was like six three that's what i say by then yeah

Speaker 1 by then you're too big by then like especially like you know me and my three brothers could have ganged up and tried to do some damn i started beating Phil's ass. Did you? Junior and senior year.

Speaker 1 He would have won in a fist fight, but wrestling, I could tackle him and hold him down. I thought I could.
I stepped up to my dad freshman year, and he like picked me up for the year.

Speaker 1 Freshman year, freshman, sophomore year, he was still hitting me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I told you. I could slap him in the face for drinking.
He's like, did you drink? No.

Speaker 1 When the fuck, dad?

Speaker 1 Took my shirt off. I was like, I'll fucking fight you right now, you fucking pussy.
And I'd run back upstairs and cry.

Speaker 1 Cry to my mom, then I'd run back downstairs and go, I'll fucking beat your fucking ass.

Speaker 1 You're a fucking drunk. I'm not a drunk.
Just having like four fruit punchy vodkas.

Speaker 1 For real, I was wearing a white Michael Vick jersey. Just covered in fruit punch.
And I kept coming down the steps and go, you fucking piece of shit. He was drunk enough that he was talking shit back.

Speaker 1 He was like, yeah, right, pussy. I'll fuck you up.

Speaker 1 He's like, as a dad, you got to be like, shut up. I think he actually tried to shut up like five times.

Speaker 1 I stepped in my dad one time, I think freshman year. I was like, what, dude? What are you really going to do? And he was, he just like stared at me for several several seconds.

Speaker 1 It was like, get the fuck out of my face and go upstairs. And I was like, yeah, I was like, thank fucking God.
Yeah. I was so, I was like swaying on my feet drunk.

Speaker 1 And he was probably just tidy whites just being like, bro,

Speaker 1 now, especially knowing how fucking angry they were, like, dude, they were fucking dying. Six kids.
Just working with.

Speaker 1 One of them taking his shirt off, being like, you piece of shit, I'll beat your ass.

Speaker 1 Just going, dude, go to bed. Just doing hard physics.

Speaker 1 shad i was full shad dude hard physical ladder the body cam video the guy at the hospital or the the guy at the hotel we didn't watch that no oh you would have loved it what is just something chris o'connor showed me this just this extremely drunk guy at a hotel the cops just keep being like shad go to bed his name's shad s-a-j-shad is crazy and he's like no no i'm not going to bed you motherfuckers like shad come on dude just go to bed no i'm not doing it

Speaker 1 it's an hour of

Speaker 1 cop when you left you put on cops. Big body cam footage right now.
You left

Speaker 1 a good video. The guy probably was beating his girlfriend.

Speaker 1 They were both kind of like coked up and drunk, and uh, he was sitting outside, and they were just like, Dude, just all if you leave, all you gotta do is leave. All you gotta do is leave.

Speaker 1 He's fucking out of here, and he would take his sneaker and be like, fuck, and just throw it on the ground.

Speaker 1 And then finally, they like he starts to walk away, and then one cop is like, kind of knowing, like, dude, we can't send this. This guy's a loose cannon.
They're like, come on, man.

Speaker 1 He's like, I thought you said I could leave. And they're like, now you're under arrest.
He's like, fine. Then he just goes to the car and just goes, bang, and slams his head.

Speaker 1 He goes, why'd you guys make me do that? They love doing that. Yeah, that's a sick move.
There's my favorite one I just watched recently. It was a domestic dispute.

Speaker 1 But it looked like it was clearly the lady.

Speaker 1 Because the guy was all fucked up and she was fine. And cops are good at sniffing that out.
She might have had a couple before that with different guys.

Speaker 1 But they go inside, they interview everybody, and then they come back outside. She's the one who was like, get him, get him right now.
She like walked up to the cops.

Speaker 1 I feel like that's a rule of thumb. The first person you see in a domestic dispute was the beater.
Yes. I swear to God, every time.
They spin her around to put the cuffs on the back of her shirt.

Speaker 1 It's a giant logo of a twisted T, and it says it's a bad day to be a Twisted T

Speaker 1 so nice.

Speaker 1 Getting arrested in the bad day to be a Twisted.

Speaker 1 I mean, you know how many people across the country caught the Twisted Fury from their wives and girlfriends

Speaker 1 just to hit you. Full twisted metal, dude.
Full twisted metal.

Speaker 1 Hits you and calls the cops. Cops come.
You're just like, Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah.
Just got off of work. Yeah.
That's hell. That's truly hell.
Yeah, I've never, like,

Speaker 1 I constantly marvel at how hard the wheels can come off in a home life. And it's not that hard, dude.
It can happen so easily.

Speaker 1 It's like, it's just not that hard. Especially if you grow up and you have like no decent example.
Yeah. And you just, now you're married and you're like, hold on a second.
I remember what to do.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if she yells, I can make her stop yelling.

Speaker 1 Maybe my stepdad was right after all these years. Yeah, maybe my mom was a bitch and my stepdad was the fucking man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm going to hit her.

Speaker 1 I'm going to see what happens. I'm going to throw a fucking jab and throw a combo in the kitchen.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 it's crazy there's no classes on that. If you grew up.
I'm not hitting. Just on how to

Speaker 1 coexist peacefully. Like, nobody knows how to do it even.
No one could calm a lady down. Nobody can do it.
No one on earth.

Speaker 1 But you said, like, if you, you could barely read, you have, you're just, it's just your daily experience. You have, like, maybe an old grandfather who was like in the picture or worked at a factory.

Speaker 1 Now you got to deal with an angry, drunk lady.

Speaker 1 And also, also, you're wrecked. You're hammered.
You're hammered. It's a bad day to be a twisted.

Speaker 1 It was a terrible day to be a twisted.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying it's right, but it's like,

Speaker 1 it's an impossible situation for anyone to figure out, let alone somebody on like maybe a seventh grade reading level, being like, you're getting absolutely mind-fucked by a lady after you're working at a job that sucks and she's drunk and you're drunk.

Speaker 1 To try to peacefully figure your way out of that maze, I would say is impossible.

Speaker 1 It's physical violence. It's impossible.

Speaker 1 And again, you can't hit a bunch of people. Especially she swings first.

Speaker 1 It kind of hurts. Yeah.
You go, I didn't think that was going to hurt. You fucking scratched my face.
It hurts.

Speaker 1 Now you go, I can't let you get close. You shoot the legs.
Hey, you're just reacting. You're reacting.
I can't let you get close.

Speaker 1 Shoot the legs. You fucking full-on fucking hums out of them.

Speaker 1 The cops come and just beat the shit out of you. Yeah, then you get your ass beat by the cops.
Cops come, kick your ass.

Speaker 1 Although, I'm telling you, cops, I have just heard enough stories where they're pretty good at ferreting out when it was just a lady going nuts. Yeah.
Because they'll come. I've heard enough people.

Speaker 1 If the guy goes nuts, it's obvious. That's kind of

Speaker 1 fucking damaged. Yeah.
Yeah. I think that's their indicator.
It's like, yeah, you know, if this this guy hit you, you'd be like, for real, fucked up. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I could be wrong.
And usually those guys aren't fucking suddenly smart enough to be playing it cool in front of the cops. No.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Usually they're back in the house and they're like, I have a gun in here.

Speaker 1 You have to fuck it, kill me.

Speaker 1 Get the fuck out of my house. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I have a gun. I think if you just come up and just see a dude sitting on the front porch, just like holding his head, you're like, all right, here's the victim, right? Here's the bottom.

Speaker 1 If someone's just like pacing their porch, like, I didn't do shit.

Speaker 1 Fuck off my property. You don't want it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's hell, man. It can really descend into a hellscape so easily.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's terrible.
Yeah. And it's, I feel like it's,

Speaker 1 I'm not going to say the norm, but it's like, if you're like a bad neighborhood, the houses a lot of times. Well, now that it's criminalized.
True. You know? True, that's true.

Speaker 1 Back in the day, it was fully legal. It was.

Speaker 1 Legalize it, bro. People were a little quiet.
Yeah. Then they said, legalize it.
We got to legalize it, dude. Tired of this fucking government regulation.

Speaker 1 That must have been crazy to be the first group of dudes where they're like, no, no, no, no, no. I think it was like the 90s, dude.
I think it was our parents. It was.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they true. Yeah.
True. We deal with pronouns.
They have to deal with fucking not fucking absolutely gut punching. Not that I was in the combo.
Not going straight to the body.

Speaker 1 Going straight to the body hooks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah,

Speaker 1 you're deep into the ninth inning of an argument. It's like, no, you said this.
And you're like, I can't remember what I said. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm going to do the annexation of Puerto Rico, dude. It's time, it's time to suffer my trick play.
The Philly special,

Speaker 1 dude. You're good hitting the headset talking to the coach.

Speaker 1 Philly Philly, you want to run it? Yep, let's run it. I still think we should legalize the bouncer protocol because if you're a bouncer, they get to deal with angry, drunk women.

Speaker 1 You know how you have to do it? You have to get them on the side of your hip, fold their arms across their breasts, and you can physically remove them from the establishment. That's legal.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 If you don't feel like arguing anymore, you should be able to come here, fold her arms across her chest,

Speaker 1 bounce her into another room, and then just fuck her.

Speaker 1 Sprint, bro. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You can't backyard.

Speaker 1 You'll be howling at the moon. You can't backyard her.
But it's like. That's riding the tiger, though.
You know what I mean? That's holding the tiger's ears. Holding the tiger by the ears.

Speaker 1 You go, I can't let go. I got to toss you in the backyard.

Speaker 1 You should just have two safe rooms. Where you, that's like.
You should just get a panic room. A panic room.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 You fight your wife. You press a button, a bookshelf closes.

Speaker 1 Panic room is nice.

Speaker 1 That's nice, and I like people who barricade themselves. Barricaders are nice.
When you just fucking, for some reason, stack like four mattresses in front of your door and the cops come kick it in.

Speaker 1 I know I've talked about it before, but it makes me laugh every time. Barricading? Barricaders are so funny.
It's a sick move.

Speaker 1 It's just like a mental, it's like some form of mental break where you're like, I don't want anyone to get in here ever again, but but you don't have like enough stuff.

Speaker 1 The door ends up opening out. You go, oh, shit, fucking fuck.
I got right through my fucking barricade. It's just one piss-soaked mattress.
You're like, oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah, door opens out. You get tased.

Speaker 1 It fucking sucks. I always forget, though,

Speaker 1 watching cops and seeing dudes get chased down, man, it's like the gear those cops have on them. It's crazy that you get caught.
I don't know if I'm just gawky from hitting the track, but it's like.

Speaker 1 I'd get hawked down by anybody.

Speaker 1 A lot of them aren't running like that, though. Doesn't matter.
I'm getting hawked. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, for sure. I'm going to shed some tackles, though.
True. Pad level.
Yeah, you get some dirty yards.

Speaker 1 I'm nice.

Speaker 1 They knew I had fucking top speed. They didn't know I could also beat you in the shuttle.
You would get dirty yards for sure. I get a lot of dirty yards.
Bounce recovery. That backside comer.

Speaker 1 Come on, man. You get arm tackle from a backside DN.

Speaker 1 You can't run on my team. True.
That's what I'm saying. Dude, I still want to do a community day where you do a thing where you can have cops try to catch you.

Speaker 1 They have all their gear on, and you just go to a big football field and maybe some obstacles, and you run an obstacle course with cops trying to use their radios to catch you. That would be so fun.

Speaker 1 I think you can arrange that. Yeah, that'd be sick.
Don't bring those fucking hunk-ass firefighters. No, I'm keeping them at home.
Bring them, and you can fucking have them block for me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Or you can sneak one. You can join the cops.
We're tasing firefighters. The firefighters are going to try to escape.
You should put up a battle. You should get a battle going.

Speaker 1 Cops versus firefighters. That would be nice.
Firefighters get hoses. Cops get tasers.
I think cops versus firefighters.

Speaker 1 The flag football game would be nice. I can be steady Q.
Tackle. Yeah, tackle foot would be nice.

Speaker 1 They all have good insurance, so if they get hurt, who cares? It'll be fine.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I might. I don't know.
Speaking of ball, though, I got to address the... Yes, I wore Texas gear in a commercial, dude.
So what?

Speaker 1 What are people coming down on you for that? Yeah. Christoph Waltz is not actually a Nazi.
Sometimes actors take on roles, dude.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? Wait, what's going on? You have to fill me in. I don't know.
A Bud Light commercial just came out.

Speaker 1 We're supposed to be Texas fans. Yeah.
So where's the caller for not wearing?

Speaker 1 Well, like I'm saying, I'm actually a Notre Dame fan. Yeah, for sure.
But, you know, I'm an actor, dude. It's a Bud Light commercial.

Speaker 1 I'm acting. I'm a thespian, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're playing. You're pretending.
You had to get deep into the character. I had to pretend.

Speaker 1 I actually said that because when we were filming Madden, I'm obviously a Raiders.

Speaker 1 I support the Raiders and that, and they were like, you have to do interviews and stuff there. And they're like, how do you feel?

Speaker 1 How do you think the Eagles fans are going to

Speaker 1 feel about this? I was like, I don't know. Guys play Nazis in movies.
What the fuck? Matt Damon like sucked a guy's dick in a movie. Yeah, he didn't actually suck.
Well, I mean, he didn't do it.

Speaker 1 He straddled a guy. That's worse.
Oh, that's true.

Speaker 1 You know about straddling.

Speaker 1 Have his stunt double. His name was Matt Damon stunt double d't's dad.
Game stunt double. He might have had a gay stunt double.
He could have had a gay stunt double.

Speaker 1 Well, you mean I had a gay stunt double? No, you do your own stunts.

Speaker 1 You're Jackie Chan, bro.

Speaker 1 You're Jackie Chan when it comes to the stunts. Yeah, but Matt Damon rocked that role, I will say.
I don't know. Candelabra, I never saw it.
Behind the Candelabra. I heard it was good.
It's so good.

Speaker 1 He's so gay in it, bro. It's like, it's genuinely impressive.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The gayest one I watched was the one you told me to watch the liberachi that was fantastic that was a great show he crushed it yeah who was the what's who was that that's uh that played

Speaker 1 that guy

Speaker 1 andrew cananen yes who played him though that guy has like a major

Speaker 1 he's a phenomenal actor yeah the andrew canan and still pop you watch the menendez brothers one

Speaker 1 no it's the same show like they did oj

Speaker 1 who played who played him i don't know but they it was great watching you're gonna really like it yeah it's right up your alley dude dude i and you got to watch Eddington. What's Eddington?

Speaker 1 It's a new movie that came out. It's, again, perfect for you.
Really? It sounds like one of something you would write. Yes.
Oh,

Speaker 1 I think I know what you're talking about. You're talking about this.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I got to get to it, man.

Speaker 1 The ending is like you wrote it. Really? Yeah.
That's fucking pumping me up. For real.

Speaker 1 I was thinking it while I was watching it. I was like, this is exactly Ariaster.
Don't care. Beast.

Speaker 1 Drew. Fuck directors.

Speaker 1 No, he's a beast.

Speaker 1 He wrote Hereditary, dude, Hale Payman. Did he, really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Payment?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Ariaster has the craziest student film. It's called What's Up with the Johnsons?

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't wanna write it.
How much does it cost to just film a short, like a 25-minute movie? Probably not that much. Yeah, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Depends, I guess, on the equipment.

Speaker 1 I've been thinking about trying to write and direct a short. Dude, probably 40 Gs? Really? Yeah.
Yeah, if you, yeah. Nothing crazy.
It would just just be, yeah, some just talking, some

Speaker 1 interesting.

Speaker 1 Watch Eddington. Watch the administration.
I'll check it out. I'll check it out.
Do me a kindness. Try to peep it tonight.
I will. No, I'm not.
Stay up late. There's no, I'm going to be.

Speaker 1 I can get to the motherfucking ship. Oh, fuck.
Late as hell. Yeah.
But I do have a flight. I have a flight coming up.
So I'll download it on my phones. Yeah.
And I'll watch it on my phones.

Speaker 1 You're going to like it. I think if it's a movie you described to me, I think I would.
Yeah. It's Joaquin Phoenix.
Oh, I love him, dude. He's the best.
He's one of the goats. He's the best.

Speaker 1 I'll watch anything on the flight. You have my word.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Good stuff. Nate's not zesting.
Not at all. He is not.