Ep 578 - Post-Negativity (feat. Shawn Gardini)

Wow, wow, Wes.

Oh, he's a pro now.

Yo.

Let me held it down, bro.

Got that Gator clap.

The Gator hands.

That damn Gator.

Yeah, Le Maire did a fantastic job.

Thank you, Le Mer.

Yeah, you did.

You saved my bottom.

Yeah, you're in Italy.

Edited out an entire episode.

Yeah.

Is that right?

Yeah, we did a full episode of us trying to break down all the world's ills.

Yeah, it didn't go well.

It didn't go great.

We both

stuttered and stammered like uncles.

Yeah.

It's like, yeah, man, I just don't like.

It's not nice.

Violence.

Oh, yeah.

I just wish people wouldn't be so mean.

Yeah, let's get that out.

Both sides do it.

Both sides do it.

We hit the both sides do it for an hour.

I think negativity is done.

I think it might not be cool anymore to be negative.

We can bring it back.

You already had a good plan.

Matt explained his evil little plan already.

He shouldn't say, I don't even think you should say the plan.

It was just a funny thing to say.

It is funny.

But everyone's back, dude.

You know, free speech, comedians rule.

We are the vanguards of truth.

Fire and fall.

Philosophers are fucking

the second the government starts censoring us,

you know

fascism right around the corner.

No, it was good, though.

It was good to see everybody stick up for him for free speech.

And yeah, I'm just glad they were all there for me back in 2019.

You know,

he's my brother and being canceled now.

You know, he was canceled for what, what, was that 48 hours?

Mine was a couple years, but no big deal.

What's the difference?

He had to hold tight.

He had to hold tight in the probably a very nice kind of modern house on the hills in L.A.

He had to sit there and just war room in he didn't have to lay on a mattress in Queens with two snarky roommates that were like, oh, did you write that apology?

Yeah, I could tell.

What the fuck?

Crab baby Kimmel.

It was nice.

Crabby Kimmel.

I do like how he was.

I saw a snippet.

I like what he was saying.

He's being nice.

We need unification.

When he calls,

he called Rogan a moderate, and one lady in the crowd thought that was a joke.

She was like, ha.

You can hear it.

You're like, oh, you got that wrong bitch.

Yeah, they know it.

They can't be nasty.

No one else around you laughed.

It was you being a nasty lib.

Yeah, she can't be nasty.

No one can be nasty now.

We got to to knock it off.

Try not to be nasty.

I'm never nasty.

Nastini.

Nastini, dude.

Yeah, no more nastiness.

We got to heal.

We're healing the nation.

We're healing the nation with our truth, dude.

I hope the government doesn't fucking get one of us.

No more funny business.

Get out of here.

Clap it down.

For real.

Marching formation.

Which government?

That's what you worry about.

You talking deep save, right?

No, I'm talking.

I mean, kind of.

Anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I hear what you're saying.

I hear what you're saying, brother.

So, you just got back from Italy, the motherland.

I did just get back from the old country.

How'd it go?

It was nice.

It was beautiful.

I liked going to Rome.

Rome was so sick.

I was walking around, tripping out on that.

I didn't sleep though.

I never adjusted to the time difference.

Were you drinking cheap Limbruska wine overlooking the Genica Laura's Hills?

Love that.

Love that memory.

Love that memory.

I don't get it.

This is my video William Samu Heidi.

Oh, sorry.

But I was, yeah, I was just drinking a lot, and I never, I stayed up really late drinking, so I never adjusted to the time, and that really stunk.

So, a little bit more of the same, exactly the same.

Yeah, that's what that's what I was just saying.

It's when I went to Spain, I was like, I'll be different over here.

No, I just stayed up until 5 a.m.

every day.

I was hammered, woke up, the sun was going down.

I was like,

oh, shit, I did meals.

I related to what you said, too, about how, like, America's so much better than just like convenience-wise and comfortability-wise.

It's like

Wi-Fi is bad, outlets are dumb, stuff closes.

Your voice changed in Italy.

It would have been a little sick.

I'm a little sick.

Oh, you have COVID-19.

I might have Italian COVID-19.

Didn't even have that fashion show strain that like killed all the old guys.

Yeah, sorry.

I hope you don't have COVID because I don't think so.

I feel pretty good now, but I did get a cold.

The travel was like,

I don't know.

I was telling LeMayer when I was going, because I haven't really left the country since I was like a really young kid.

I went to Mexico and stuff.

So I thought I was going to be like, I didn't want to go.

I was like, I like, I don't like traveling.

I thought it was going to be an expansive.

I was just nervous.

I don't like leaving my house.

So I was like, I don't, you know, I didn't, I didn't, I never got why people like want to go places for no reason.

And I was like, maybe when I go there, though, I'll like

have some wanderlusts thrust upon me.

And I'll like want to go see the world.

And I couldn't have been more wrong.

I don't care to go anywhere still.

I was so happy to come back.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's nice when you get home.

It was so beautiful.

Like, I was in Tuscany and Rome.

Tuscany was like really rural, so that was tough.

Yeah, it feels, I do that.

I feel like you're just like, this is a green screen behind you, and now you're in like a different location, feel exactly the same.

Yeah,

I stayed in my house to feel like this.

Took me a while.

I don't know.

I disagree.

Ireland fucking rules.

Well, that's what I said, was saying before.

Like, I think if I went to an English-speaking country or even a country where I could speak the language, I'd be more comfortable.

Yeah.

How are you?

People speaking Italian at you is very anxiety.

And

I'm like an anxious guy, but when they start speaking really fast at you, I was just like,

I'm American.

I'm American.

A lot of them thought I was Australian, though, so I started lying when I got broke, and I'd be like, Australian.

Yeah, having those guys get in your face and be like,

I did run into two ruffians, though.

I was stumbling home at like three in the morning.

I stayed up for like 26 hours as soon as I got there.

I went up at like 7 a.m.

and like went to the Coliseum and saw everything.

Damn.

And that was so cool because I was like, I'd never been on a road this old before.

Like, I've never been in a place this old before.

So that part was awesome.

Did you pretend you were like a warrior slave entering the Coliseum and you had to fight for your honor?

No, but it does cross your mind.

I think every man in that Coliseum was like, man, good films of Georgia.

I would stab a tiger in here.

It's so cool.

The Coliseum was so cool.

And all, like, the old structures and stuff.

Does anyone in there like, is everyone looking?

Did anyone like fuck around and like float?

Everyone's just looking.

I mean, it's just like a zillion tourists, like as many tourists as you could possibly imagine from everywhere.

Yeah.

They're mostly Asian, right?

Yeah, that's kind of where what I was getting at, but I didn't want to be rude.

That was like

a big thing in Europe was they were all like, because remember when we were young, it was all like, fucking these Americans so now they're all like damn we miss the Americans it's all Chinese now

it sucks we didn't realize how good we had it with the Americans there's a lot of sard there's a lot of Indians in Rome too like trying to like peddle their like water bottles and they're like they're Mexicans I think they got well they got lost on the silk road ended up famous

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Yeah, yeah.

We were battling an old Indian couple on the plane recently.

We went to a wedding this weekend, and it was like, just

the personal space issue from the East.

It's a real tough one.

Bro, like the budding is just like insane.

Butting in line?

The butting, yeah.

We're like waiting to get on the plane.

It's fucking crazy.

Old Indian couple just fucking butted us, and I had to be like, Yeah, this is the fucking train, dude.

Back it up, man.

Yeah, we're not fucking jamming in here.

Wait, yeah, chill, man.

We got, we got plenty of room.

Like, I was like front and center, ready to get on, and they're just like started doing it.

It was just like

also, I'm tired of Europeans being like, Americans are so obnoxious.

It's like, dude, have you talked to one person from England?

Yeah, dude.

It's crazy.

Just scream in your fucking face.

That's what I was saying.

We're not singing here.

I like the singing.

Don't get me wrong.

I like the singing.

I like the singing.

I like the singing.

But yeah, it is.

You go anywhere, and it is cool to see a different place.

But America really is.

I'm not saying if you're like, you know, in Europe or wherever,

it's just your country.

Like, the way you guys live is embarrassing.

It kind of is embarrassing.

Like, everything's just the outlets are fucked up.

Fix the outlets.

Yeah.

Like, dude, it's 20.

I'm going to invent electricity.

Get with it.

Yeah, man.

That's from Philly.

You're welcome.

I know.

Well, that's the thing.

Like, I was telling Le Maire, in Italy, they all sort of like

they're not a very like the customer's always right thing.

Yeah.

And I was telling them they all act like with like a sort of air that they were around thousands of years ago when the Roman, it's like you weren't there when the Colosseum was being built.

You're just a guy that was happening to be born here.

I don't know.

Maybe it was all in my head.

They're connected to tradition.

They're connected to deep tradition.

That's how they operate that way.

They reminded me of like how people describe the French, where it's like, I feel like they don't like me because I'm American, but maybe that was just in my head.

Probably in your head a little.

Yeah.

Because

I was always told the Italians are a lot like the Spanish.

And the Spanish were very...

They were like happy to see.

I guess it depends where you are.

You weren't a very tourist-heavy.

I was more of a

Montañas.

Yeah, true.

Off the Beaten Path.

So, you know me, dude.

I tried to go off the beaten path.

I was like, I got to get the fuck out of here.

Off the beaten path was scary.

I was really scared.

Before I met up with all my friends, I felt nervous.

Yeah, you're going to get attacked by a ruffian.

I thought, yeah, I was gonna get molested or something.

A couple young Italian boys,

yeah, I thought I was gonna get sexually harassed or something.

What?

As soon as I got off the plane, I was getting a taxi, and there were like guys that were like trying to do fake taxis, and I guess like charge you more.

You know how they do that at like JFK.

Wait,

I loved it.

What's so funny about that?

You thought you were getting on the fake taxi, you're about to get the faxier.

You're about to get put in the back seat.

Yeah, well, that's

scared.

You're about to get put in the back seat.

You're going to get in the bang fiat?

Yeah, I thought so.

I was gonna get stuck in the taxi.

The bang boost.

The Italian job.

Yeah.

Heist that ass.

They kept trying to

get me in.

It was like guys with like neck tattoos and stuff.

They looked like the dirtbag Italians.

And they were like, get in the taxi, get in the taxi.

And I was like, no, no.

Yeah, you just get in, they pinch your button, kick you out.

Yeah.

They kept saying, what's wrong with your head?

They kept saying that to me over and over.

That would fucking piss me off.

What's wrong with your head?

yeah what's wrong with your head tuto tuto what's wrong with your head and i was just like no no no i just kept saying no over and over yeah like fuck your head your head sucks it's full of dumb italian thoughts yeah

i can't go to italy my wife wants to go to italy so i can't go to italy dude the italians are the worst and also like i think you're confusing no black ladies love italian guys oh it's a thing man i always talked about i talked to nate about this black people love italians they sweat italians so hard and i ever i'm I'm always evangelizing.

I'm like, dude, Italians suck.

Irish people rule.

And they're like,

we don't see it.

But it's hard pitching Irish swag to black people.

Like, nah, we're just quiet and we just fucking grumble to ourselves silently.

We don't wear any cool jewelry.

And they're just like, bro, Italian guys are so cool.

And I'm like,

but I think Italian Americans are way different.

Yeah.

Yeah, they are.

Like, way different.

That's true.

Or like the people from Italy, are they like smaller over there too?

Yeah,

they all look like they're like a thousand years.

They look like pygmies or something.

They're tiny, bro.

Like everyone there, like they could be 20 and they still look like an old person for some reason.

Maybe

I'm just a really dumb American.

Like, I think I was like missing the chemicals that I'm desperately addicted to and stuff like that.

Like, I was like,

I ran out of skull.

I thought I packed enough skull when I went to Spain.

I ran out right away.

I packed six packs.

I had to go straight to SIGs, dude.

Lucky strike, dude.

I felt like a fucking GI.

A no boy.

Yeah, big no boy, dude.

The Sigs are different.

They have scary pictures on the Sigs, though.

Yeah, they do.

They love the scary pictures.

Yeah, I wanted a cigarette company where it's like warning.

These are so cool.

You might die, but that's also so cool.

If you died from Sigs, it'd be so cool.

You're going to die anyway, dude.

Look cool.

I'm going to do a big picture of a guy in like a fast car just like hanging out of the window.

It's like, live fast, die young.

They have big, scary warnings.

Did you go to a disco?

Disco?

Disco-tech?

No, I didn't go to a disco tech.

I was in Rome for a day, so I just kind of like drank outside.

There wasn't like any bar bars.

You know what they say?

What?

Went in Rome.

Did you do as the Romans do?

I did.

I drank outside, and there's a lot of like foreign and exchange students or not, you know, like study abroad, kids from like a bunch of countries.

It was very lively.

It was like a city.

So we just drank outside.

Like, there's no bars that we went to.

It was just like you sit at a table and they like bring you drinks.

Yeah, I feel like the lack of muscle mass in Europe is humiliating.

They're for real.

They're small.

They're shrimps, dude.

I do have a big friend, my friend Mike.

I'm sorry.

We're post-negativity.

I know why.

I don't want to negatively.

No, it's

not pro-American.

I'm very proud of it.

You got to put down every other guy.

It's just basic American first stuff that I'm talking about.

Basic American First.

That's right.

I stayed in.

My hotel was next to the anti-mafia building, so that was kind of intimidating.

Yeah, there's like guys with silly hats with like rifles.

Was that an anti-mafia?

Yeah, I don't know what that is.

Anti-ma?

Yeah, it was anti-ma.

And they kept like checking in with me when I would like smoke a cigarette outside the hotel because I guess like their politicians go there and stuff or whatever.

Is that like a, so that's like an no-mafia guys can go in there?

I guess not.

I don't know.

It was weird.

So it's a police station.

Yeah, pretty much.

They walk in the past where you have to walk in and go, don't forget about it.

Yeah, yeah.

All right, you're in.

You're good.

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Sorry, I just came from the spring, dude.

I'm just fucking.

Yeah, we just got out of the water.

I've been on my Italian shit.

I've been watching a Mussolini show.

The Fascistas.

Yeah, the Fascistas.

It's a good show.

It's on some made-up fucking European network.

Really?

Yeah, I don't even know what it's called.

Fake bullshit.

Yeah.

There's a lot of stuff.

They're attempted TV.

What was Mussolini?

He was a bad guy, right?

Pretty bad?

Yeah.

Pretty nasty.

He invented fascism.

Oh, what?

Yeah.

Hitler copied him.

Hitler was like, that guy rules.

That guy's cool.

Okay.

And that was like, I've been trying to figure out like a good definition for fascism.

And I think it's just like when you love the president so much, you'll beat somebody up.

And the president is like, it's kind of hard to

make a real definition to it.

But if you look up the definition, that's why it's so easy to call anyone a fascist.

Yeah.

Because the definition does.

It's like if you will resort to violence.

It's also, it is socialism.

That's why I always struggled with it.

Yeah.

Because I was always like, isn't that more government?

So doesn't that mean it's left?

But it's not.

It's a far-right version of more government.

I fucking find out.

Yeah, I think it's like military like.

I don't get the exact definition.

I've looked it up a hundred times.

It's like kind of vague.

It's like

force.

Just

ultra-nationalist, authoritarian political ideology characterized by a

dictator, aggressive nationalism, militarism, force of suppression of opposition.

It's a a system in which the government controls most aspects of public and private life and exalts the nation or race above the individual.

Okay.

So again,

what the fuck's the difference between communism and that?

I don't know.

Have you ever got into a

sex ain't luxury, like automated luxury communism?

No.

That's a big talking point.

They're like, dude, the machines are going to get so cool that you could live it.

Like, you know, like when you're in communism, it sucks because you can only have like a little bit of bread.

Like, usually the economy kind of falls apart.

there's guys that are saying, like, one day we'll have such good automation, like, everything will be on demand, but we'll be like, we'll be like, it's like luxury communism.

Just like, yeah, sure.

Let me know when you guys figure that out.

That's worth a thousand years away.

I know.

Like, we're not close.

Yeah.

Rogan was talking about last night because he loves the AI.

And I'm just sitting there like, I'm not worried about it.

Is he worried or is he?

He's like, AI is, yeah.

And he talks to those guys.

Yeah, those kids.

So they're all like, yeah.

PETA.

I don't know.

I fuck with it here and there.

And it's like, it just seems like super Google to me.

Now, I'm sure if you own ChatGPT and you could take the blinders off, maybe it could be like set me up a geopolitical,

you know, if you took all the moral frameworks off it, you could probably do some like cool stuff.

Chat GPT like infringed.

It freaked me out.

You got to speak up.

Sorry.

Hey, man, we're not in fucking Italy, dude.

Oh, my God.

Back in America, you got to pronounce your words.

You get so startled

you got startled i'm just just yanking you bro chat gpt yeah you know what never mind what is i know what is a yank dude the bag's on you

oh yeah you're gone

he was going for that um i asked if i could take xanax and nyquil at the same time because i wanted to sleep on my flight

And then I asked something about like pills yesterday, and it said like you can't take that with Xanax though.

Like it remembered that I asked it about Xanax two days before.

That's nice.

You're probably in the same chat.

If you're in the same, it wasn't really a new chat.

And I said, I don't like how you remembered that I asked you that.

And it said, I'm sorry, I won't do it again.

That's fair.

I checked your Xani use.

Yeah.

How did that work?

How did that work?

Did the Xani?

I didn't take the Xani.

I just took the Nyquil and passed out.

Yeah, that'll work.

It was nice.

Yeah.

Nice.

The flight was brutal, though, because I'm a hopeless nicotine addict.

So,

what'd you do?

I just did a bunch of stuff.

I thought that was going somewhere else.

the nicotine.

I was like,

no, no.

I just did Zins and got really, really angry because they don't really help still.

Really?

Still really want cigarettes.

Yeah, it's like nine and a half hours.

Dang.

Yeah, sucked.

Did you get first class?

No, hell no.

I was a coach.

You gotta.

You got it on that one.

It's so expensive, but you gotta.

Yeah, I didn't do that.

It's worth every penny on that.

It was brutal.

Yeah, there was a heavy set woman next to me whose buttocks was just pouring into my seat the whole flight.

But he's kind of comfortable.

You're a bit of a little humper.

You probably were like...

Yeah.

It was kind of a nice extra pillow.

You're a little humper.

Yeah, that's for real, not the worst case scenario.

Yeah, at least it wasn't a guy.

Yeah.

True.

Exactly.

A big fat lady butt.

I don't know.

That's kind of, I feel like that's not bad, having a big fat lady butt spill into your territory.

Yeah, that wasn't the worst.

Because I had to do to JFK and then come here from JFK.

So it was like nine and a half hours to JFK and then five hours here.

It sucked balls.

But on the way here, there's like a guy on his laptop with like his elbows out in coaching.

That's a crazy move.

My thing was, I was thinking on the plane, I was like, if you're going to work on your laptop, you should be in first class.

Yeah.

Because if you ain't making that bread, your work ain't important enough to be typing Medicare coach.

He's trying to get there, dude.

Also, I've done any coaching.

I've never fucking watched coaches the Ravens were on, just watch the Ravens game.

No, I work.

No laptop.

I'm all laptop on my own.

I know, but you're in the front.

Sometimes I have to sit.

I have to do coach sometimes, and I just fucking elbows in.

I do T-Rex arms, and I just type, type, type.

I was in the middle, though, because I had to get like switched.

I was supposed to go to Boston and then Austin, and then that got delayed, so I would have never made it.

So they switched me to JFK to Austin.

So I had Comfort Plus.

I sprung for Comfort Plus.

But then the new flight, I didn't get Comfort Plus.

I got middle seat.

Yeah.

I was dying.

I rocked a middle seat not too long.

I like to flex on my wife.

She's like, you know, you're going to fly coach.

I'm like, like, I don't give a fuck.

Put me in there.

And I was in there the whole time.

Like, god damn it.

I'm so fucking uncomfortable.

But there was a big dog next to me.

He wasn't like super fat.

He was just a giant guy.

And he was doing this thing where you just, it's actually really alpha when you just like lay down on your trade like that.

And he kept spilling into my side.

And he would like wake up.

Like, I'm so sorry, man.

I was just like, bro, you can't help it, man.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're fine.

Don't sweat it.

If they say sorry, it's

exactly.

And I was like, and it was, it was two big dogs and then me, medium dog.

And then it was just like, there I was.

Middle dog deserves the armrest.

And it was Walls is like, dude, we're fucked.

There's nothing, you literally, there's nowhere you can go.

Yeah, he was just trying to sit politely, but he was just damn window seat coach when you got a whiz.

Yeah, oh, yeah,

everyone has to get up.

That sucks.

I went aisle because I just like to get up.

I like to move around the plane a lot.

So it's like, when I have to ask people, especially when they're like, oh, it's like, bro, get up.

Dude, on the Italy flight, everyone's sleeping.

So I had to like wake the heavyset lady up to go to the bathroom.

I felt so bad.

And I was like, I had to like bunker and monkey.

eyes

for like two hours.

I was like, I have to find a nerve and just

tickle this.

What did she do when you, when you uh, she was so sweet.

I feel bad even talking about her like this, but she was so nice about it.

Yeah, the guy on the computer, I asked too, and he was like, one second, and he like finished typing something.

And I was like, bro, get your broke ass up.

Take a number one.

Yeah, turn off the fucking PowerPoint, dude.

Let's go.

I feel bad about being mean to Italy too, because my friends are going to watch this.

I was so happy to see all my friends.

Are they from Italy?

No, but I just don't want to act.

Like, I didn't have a bad time.

It was an awesome time.

No, I think, yeah, I think it was nice.

Okay.

Sometimes they all listen to this, and people listen.

I forget that.

Yeah, you want to be like his wedding stunk.

That's what I'm saying.

His wedding was the most amazing wedding.

It was in the Tuscan Hills.

It was like beautiful.

Wow.

Well, how much did you give him for a gift?

Do you mind me asking?

I gave him $300 and I felt like that wasn't.

I felt like my other friend.

You flew to Italy, bro.

Is that not good?

Like, I thought that was just you or do you have a guest?

Just me.

Did you give him 300 American?

I was like, I'm not fine, dude.

300 American, yeah.

But like my other friends gave him more, and I felt like kind of bad.

Yeah.

Yeah, 300.

Yeah, that's fine.

He was like, dude, it costs a shit a ton of money.

Would they give him a thousand?

No, no, like five.

Some of them gave five, yeah.

No, that's fair.

You flew all the way there.

300 with the international flight, I think, is kind of generous.

Yeah, Joe, I love you.

Congratulations.

That's funny.

Yeah, that's a congrats, Joe.

Yeah, seriously, dude.

And to your lovely wife.

Mayor.

Yeah, or husband.

It was a wife.

His guard dog was there going stagger.

I thought that was a guy's trip.

Wait, what do you mean?

He was saying it was a gay marriage.

Oh, I don't want to assume he was heterosexual.

Yeah.

He's heterosexual, yeah.

Whose idea?

Was it his idea to go to Italy or the wife's?

I'm not sure.

Damn, dude.

What a fucking marriage in Italy.

What a beautiful thing.

I hope that lady's nice to him because I'd be really mad.

They're both like the nicest.

I would hold that over her for a decade.

Wouldn't matter.

25 years.

Wouldn't matter.

25 years.

I go, remember Italy?

It was incredible I did that for them.

It was fucking $900,000.

It was so awesome.

It was crazy.

We were like in villas and stuff.

We're fucked.

We could have bought a house.

Dude, the stars, too.

Like, we stayed in a villa in farmland.

So the stars were like, I saw like five shooting stars.

The first one I saw, I was like, that's a UFO.

There's a UFO over Italy.

I was like, freaking out.

What'd you wish for this?

Yeah.

I didn't make any wish.

I was so drunk and I'm on mushrooms every night.

We did a bunch of mushrooms.

Yeah.

That was cool.

The lady who owned the villa, when I met her, I had to give her my passport to check in.

And she was like, you have an Italian surname.

Wait, what's so funny?

So I got a, that was definitely my ring camera.

And I watched LeMaire find out that the Chipotle is here.

Felt a buzz.

I was like, that's got to be the ring camera.

And I saw Le Maire go,

and have to go back to work.

No, I'm sorry.

Chipotle is here.

Dang.

I'm sorry, I'm going on and on about it.

No, no, no.

I was at a wedding this weekend as well.

And I was at a camp.

It was nice.

It was like an outdoor, it was like a kids' camp where they did a wedding.

I saw your flip.

Yeah, I saw the flip.

I was pumped.

I appreciate that.

And then I almost reposted it.

I was fired up.

It was all right.

It was a great flip.

Thank you.

I appreciate it.

The height.

It's actually easier to flip from something higher.

How tall was it?

Like, it was probably like 10 feet.

You were hitting flips today.

Flips of the

diving board.

I mean,

I was down to Barton Springs and swam in the crisp water together.

Yeah, it was a far swim, dude.

That was a hard swim.

Yeah, we swam, and then we, I didn't realize there was a current in that thing.

Yeah, we got down and we were exhausted.

We got down to one end, and it was like, oh, fuck.

We had the current,

and we were both like, god damn, this is fucking hard.

Then we had to go back against it, and it was just like, fuck it, dude.

Fuck it, let's stop here and get to the wall.

Yeah, I love that water.

It was nice,

I had only been there once, and I was like, before I'd been there, I was like, what's all the hubbub?

It must not be, it can't be that nice.

No, it's so nice.

That is the nicest thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm going to try to start.

Apparently, there's tits there.

Yeah.

If you go to the non-free side.

No, no, that's not.

No, the free side.

What?

People bust out the free side as tits.

I could be wrong about this, but I think Austin has really loose tit laws.

Yeah, they do.

Austin does have really loose tit laws.

Like, I think you're allowed to just rock them out.

It's open fiery.

I saw a lady in my neighborhood who didn't look like a crazy homeless lady, just had her tits out.

Just walked down the street, totally tits out.

And it was just kind of like...

That would scare me.

Yeah.

I would think something was happening.

I mean, there was something happening.

Damn.

Driving me.

I mean, obviously.

Obviously, that was.

It's not even.

You're right, though.

It's not really that horny making.

You see it, and it was kind of concerned.

Like, damn, is that lady all right?

It's like really mentally.

But she didn't, she wasn't like, if she was naked, I'd be like, oh, she's like on drugs.

She was just walking, just kind of...

Pants on, looked somewhat normal, was just had the titties out.

In your neighborhood?

Yeah.

That's really fucking weird.

It was crazy.

I could have called the it was like a year ago what call the cops like bro i'm scared

i might do something you guys better get down 911

i don't want them hard as hell no it's it is kind of it's good they cover them up man you it's you really need to have and dude bra i wish there was a bra law no bra fucks me up no bra might me up more than just bare titties out yeah bare titties is scary yeah walking in a neighborhood bare titties i'd be like that lady's having a mental breakdown.

No bra?

Yeah.

They need to stop.

That's concealed carry.

That is concealed carry.

I like,

yeah.

I don't even want to see your nipples through the bra.

That's too much for me, too.

It's like, if they're sticking out, more padding.

Lock them away.

It is too.

Chassity belt, maybe, too.

Chassity belt, handmaids.

We need handmaids' tail.

I've never seen it, but I'm in.

True.

Yeah, we watch that shit.

Handmaid's tail, Rock.

You gotta watch girl TV?

Handmaid's Tail?

That's girl TV.

That's big time.

time they watch girl tv they there's nothing they love more than watching them being like completely suppressed and being like

this better not happen

so you guys will be happier

i was telling my wife she's watching handmade stale i'm like you'd actually love this

wouldn't you'd fucking love it

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I watched a brutal one.

My wife had control of the movie.

I had a movie, and then she got to do it.

We did the kissing booth.

She's like firing up movies she watched a long time ago, being like, you're going to love this.

And then watching it, she's like, oh my God, this is so bad.

And I'm like, bro, this is the best.

I did that too.

Kissing Booth is...

Again, we're post-negativity, but

there's an aspect of the movie where it's a...

So it's about a girl who is like best friends with this guy.

And they do like dance, dance, revolution together.

And they're just like, you're like, oh, yeah, let's go, bro.

And then, but then her the guy's older brother is an absolute hunk and she obviously eventually fugs the older brother damn but then her her friend who's like the little brother is like i can't believe you and fuck my brother and it's like i thought you guys were friends yeah that's like the whole crux of the movie it's so dumb and he also has a girlfriend so he's

does the little brother ever get to smash no never they're they're like they'll be like hanging out in the pool she'll be getting her bra in a pool and be like oh what are you doing here oh this is crazy.

Let's go, best friend.

Kissing booth.

Yeah, the kissing booth.

It stinks.

It's a bad movie.

Sounds like a stinker.

It's a bad movie, but it's like, oh, what's the fucking guy's name?

It's the dude from Saltburn.

Did you see Saltburn?

No, but Barry Kilgan.

Kilgan?

Yeah, the big hunky guy from Saltburn.

He's the hunk.

Yeah.

He's also in Euphoria.

He's a fucking hunk, dude.

He, dude, he's a wild hunk.

There's pictures of him.

He wears cool clothes all the time.

Yeah, he's a massive hunk.

He might be the hunk.

I think he is.

He's like, Aquaman.

That's that guy's name, dude.

He might be number one hunk.

I think he is.

Aquaman is just too damn much, I feel like.

Aquaman is a kid.

He's like a hunk.

He's like a mythical hunk.

Aquaman is a mythical hunk.

Yeah, he's like, it's all.

He is a sick show.

Aquaman is a, it's about the Hawaiian Islands.

What?

About, like, yeah, what is it?

Jacob Belordy, he is the top.

Jacob Belordy is the top hunk, dude.

Yeah.

You got to watch Saltburn.

He hunks out.

He is.

Aquaman is a warrior movie

in Hawaii.

It's pretty sick.

Okay.

But I was watching it and I was like, we needed the British, dude.

We needed gay guys with rifles to show up.

Knock it off, hunks.

Knock off the funny business.

Knock off the hunks with sticks coming out of the water.

So Aquaman's from Hawaii?

Yeah.

Dang.

Okay.

Or

one of them.

Yeah, yeah.

Pacific Islander.

Yeah, somewhere.

I think he's Hawaiian.

That makes sense.

He's like from kind of where the rocks are on, basically.

Just think of the rock and Aquaman running at you and Troy Palomalu and all the fucking

gay British guys.

Hold

listen to us savage

discuss the concept of land ownership

yeah he's from Hawaii dang Honolulu yeah they they crank out they'll crank out like they'll like spend like every thousand years or something like just like four massive hunks emerge

some one of them just sprouts up because they they're fucking stocky brocanoes

every 150 years it erupts and fucking six hunks head to the mainland and us whites have to be like get them out of here

It's too much of a hunk.

Yeah, they come out and they're like, cheek.

It's a Moana reference, so I guess.

Yeah, what's that?

Jacob?

Jacob Baylordy.

Dude, he's a real bad man.

We got to get rid of that hunk, dude.

Yeah, I mean, that is a, dude, you have to watch Salt Burn.

I can't.

I heard somebody sucking cum out of a drain, dude.

I'm not watching.

Once one person told me that, I was like, I'm never going to watch that movie.

It's just like, what would happen if you put the horniest gay psycho around a hunk?

hunk actually he's more kind of homosexual i think it's pretty funny doesn't he the whole family or something yeah he kind of like fucks the whole family drinks come out of the bathtub i didn't know anything about it drinks come out of bathtub it's crazy dude it's and you're like you can tell the guy's obsessed but it like out of nowhere you're like watching like watching a guy take a he's like watching a dude jerk off in the bathtub And then you're going like, all right, this is a little intense.

And then as like the last of the water's going down, he just goes,

and he's sucking.

And dude, literally, I didn't know that was even in the movie.

I turned around.

I was like, Jesus Christ.

It got me.

I have a pretty high tolerance for like weird shit in the movie.

Sucking calm out of a tub is fucking devastating.

That's disgusting.

Yeah, feeding on the shower slugs is crazy.

Dude, think of just the prosthetic shower slug they brought in.

Even doing that was disgusting.

Yeah, apparently.

And there's another scene.

I don't want to spoil the movie, but

somebody dies in the movie that's very close to him that he liked a lot, and he starts fucking the fresh soil on his grave.

And he apparently he ad-lib that, from what I heard.

Like, he just improvised.

They were like, you know, like, freak out and cry over his grave.

And he just on set started fucking the dirt.

Nice.

Yeah, it's, it's a.

Does Barry?

No, no, no.

No, no, no.

Barry is just kind of like...

Barry's pretty fucking cool the whole time, actually.

That was nice.

Kind of reminded me of myself.

Really?

Wait, the left part.

The hunk sucks the cum.

No, no, no.

The hunk.

So Barry sucked the cum.

Wait, who's Barry?

The little Irish freak.

Okay, my bad.

I thought Barry was the hunk.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that guy.

He's a little Irish freak, dude.

Came in.

So

I've been coming in the bathtub.

So

it is funny because, again, it is a spoiler, but he convinces the hunk that he comes from this poor family of criminals and it's just all made up.

Just gay psycho.

This is gay psycho.

You're like, my mother was an alcoholic.

It was so bad.

And then they visit his parents and there's a nice middle-class family.

And he's like, oh, fuck that.

He's all fucked up.

Yeah, Saltburn.

It is funny.

It's a good Bay movie.

Bays love watching aristocracy movies.

That's in my experience.

I watched Sinners on the Plane for the first time.

How was it?

No comment.

Yeah.

You didn't like it?

It was fine.

It was pretty cool.

The fights were cool.

Yeah,

it was fine.

I felt a little bad because I thought it was great.

Sinners was great as strong, dude.

Yeah.

I thought it was great.

And I thought it was, I don't think it was like a feeble white man movie either.

I went into it thinking that was what it was going to be.

And I think it was kind of like bonding.

It was at the end, yeah.

Yeah, they bonded, yeah, they bonded.

And the creative thing.

I was listening to the director or the writer talk about why he made it Irish, and it was because he was like, I fuck with Irish shit.

Like, I was like, I like the music, I like the people,

and I think we have a lot in common.

And I think that made sense for the movie.

It was

kind of sick.

Let's start.

Whatever you say, man.

the Irish music did get me hyped.

Yeah.

He said it.

You talked about the Dublin that scene.

Yeah.

It was cool.

I liked it.

There was the one scene where there's like he's playing in the barn, and then like a Bootsy Collins type character manifests, and he's like playing that part.

I was like, this movie sucks.

And then it slowly started winning me back by the end where he kills all the KKK guys.

I was like, all right, this was actually kind of cool again.

That's tight.

Wait, so like.

He goes beast mode on the KKK.

How's Bootsy Collins come up in the thing?

It was all of the

break dancer.

Gotcha.

So

many.

Yeah.

It was kind of the gay shit.

We got to the twerking part, which I thought was funny.

It's like, this is our culture.

It's just a lady shaking her asshole.

Yeah, and like a break dancer.

Yeah, it's just as good as old blues.

Our culture is evolving.

It was kind of like...

Yeah, that part I hated.

It was okay, and then that part made me hate it, and then it sort of won me back with all the cool fights.

Yeah.

But it's some good cool fights.

But the fights had some holes in it because, like, I don't know, whatever.

The vampires suddenly became pussies at one point.

Yeah, it was.

They were like, yeah.

The praise, and then all the praise, it kind of, I felt like it was a little overrated.

Of course.

Yeah, if you want to get into, there's a neat, it was a neat flick.

If you go to

whatever rides inside that Epcot ball, if you want to get like a, they do like a European history or like America, kind of like Western civilization, If you want to get that, it's actually, I could see it.

If you're, if you're black, that's probably sick to watch because I was on the like that ride in Disney World.

It's just like basically European civilization and like from like the dawn of time all the way to modern times.

And you kind of do get fired up like, damn, this is fucking sick.

I forgot

about my ancient green.

That was sick.

And it goes all the way to the modern time.

And literally, you end, you're like, there's nothing we can't do.

It's pretty sick.

Yeah.

So, no, seriously.

I know.

It's just funny.

I mean, America.

I know, but it's funny to me.

There's nothing we can't do.

It's like, that's what you got out of that.

You went on Epcot and you got out like the white race.

I'm telling you, then, you know, I'm the least racist guy in America, dude.

That's true.

But it fight got me.

Walt Disney's fucking anti-Semitic propaganda got me.

I'm like, yeah, dude, fuck you.

Yeah,

it's pretty sick.

You just start, and it has like these little animatronic puppets reenacting like all the eons of history, and it's actually pretty tight.

It's pretty sick.

I went to Epcot once.

Did you?

My dad just got drunk the entire time.

Drank around the world.

I was just in fifth grade.

He did it around the world.

We didn't go on one ride.

My mom was like, it's so nice.

You're taking him to Disney.

Oh, it's so fun.

Just watched my dad drink at Disney.

That was it.

Went on like two rides.

He got hammered.

Drove home.

Beast.

That's so tight.

Yeah, what was funny is that.

It's fucking hot out here.

Let's get out of here.

Let's get the fuck out of here.

That was fun.

Yeah, I went to Disney a long time ago.

My older brothers were beating me up for a lot of it.

And I remember I ran away from them and hopped on a boat by myself as a child, and like it took me to Epcot.

I just walked around alone in Disney World.

It's pretty cool.

It's pretty sick.

Remember, I had still stitches in my lip, and I just kind of like walked around with a big cut in my face.

Just like went back home, was like tight.

Yeah, no problem.

Yeah, a little 10-year-old child.

What do you think about a Chipotle break?

Let's take a Chipotle break.

I got a pee, like I'm literally out of the broadband.

Time out, Chipotle.

Time out.

This episode is brought to you by Hulu.

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Eight years after flushing his college football career down the toilet, hot shot quarterback Russ Holiday makes a comeback disguised as Chad Powers.

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Terms of blah.

This is huge.

This is fucking huge.

Guys, we have some clubs coming up.

I am very excited.

Here they are right now.

Helium Comedy Club, Buffalo, New York, October 17th, October 18th as well.

Then Bricktown Comedy Club in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

That's 1024, 1025.

And here comes the big one, Off the Hook Comedy Club, Naples, Florida, November 7th, November 8th.

That's going to be a good one.

Yeah, be a blast.

October 17th and 18th, I'm in Las Vegas.

And November 7th and 8th, the 7th, November 7th, I'm in San Francisco.

November 8th, I'm in Sacramento.

And then I got December 4th, Tucson, December 5th, Phoenix.

So come on, y'all.

What were we talking about before Chipotle so rudely interrupted us?

I think we're talking about Disney World.

I forget.

Disney World.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Disney World does rule.

I went there last year and it's or two years, I don't know, a year or two ago.

I was hating on it.

I was like, it's going to suck.

And I i got there and i was like damn this is actually yeah it's gotta be awesome it's pretty tight honestly it just gets too crowded but

isn't there like a conspiracy that they traffic children out of disney world

that's what i was thinking of when you said you were walking around alone i was worried you were gonna get yeah i got it bro

not me man but no they uh

mean they like kidnap you at this you could really snag kids there pretty easy like it gets so crowded i got kind of i was there with my kids and at one point at like noon it got so crowded you could hardly move so you you have to like really kind of hold they have like a tunnel system under there and you know what they do in the tunnels yeah yeah that's for trafficking kids yeah you it's you know if you were like a child trafficking organization yeah i could see setting up shop there's cost me jobs yeah honestly i got the coffee jitters right now i'm feeling weird thinking about child trafficking yeah i'm feeling really weird right now yeah i feel weird that i'm talking different i go to a lot of uh i go to a lot of play places and they they worry about that there where they you have to get like this uh like a uv stamp on your hand that like matches your kids because if the stamps don't match up.

So I think in Texas they do have like

they're like really worried about that because you can grab kids and

three hours gone.

But yeah.

So yeah, you got to be careful.

There's even like a

old wives sale that the target near my house is like they'll like chalk tires that they see like just ladies, just ladies with their kids, they'll kind of mark your cars and they'll kind of wait by it and snag your kids when you come back.

I've heard about this.

Could just be ladies scaring each other.

Why would they chalk the tires?

It's just like it marks that way.

You kind of like you have someone go by and mark it, then another guy kind of just checks and waits by the car, I guess.

I don't know, to be honest.

Because all that would do is see if you moved.

That's why you chalk a tire.

Really?

Yeah.

I don't know.

It marked it at a certain point.

That way, when you move, it's a different spot.

I was thinking, just kind of like putting an identifier on there and be like, yo, if you see someone coming back to this car, tonight

can't be real.

Yeah, well, yeah.

It's just ladies go shopping by themselves.

Somebody's like just giving a fucking hookup to a random guy.

No, I think it's like one guy's the chalker.

Then you have like the kidnappers.

I don't know.

It's just ladies freaking each other out.

They go out and drink wine.

They're like, I think they deserve shopping and see Mexican guys.

Like, oh, fuck.

Come for my shit.

But no, there's been...

Through like the grapevine of like wives in the area, I've heard of like, there's a couple of them that claim to have encounters where like a guy was walking up to the car or something like that.

I've heard about

a few of these stories, too.

What's going on with the guys?

I just want to snag your kids.

They're just walking up to the car going, you are mine.

You are mine.

Hey, can I have your child, please?

I'd like to take your kids.

Dude, it's my kids now, because they're building houses near my house, and my kids come out every morning and go, Ola!

Yeah, Mexican dudes.

It's really funny.

It's very sweet.

This one guy turned around the other day.

He was like, hey, hello, guys.

And they're like, Ola.

English is boring.

Yeah.

The dudes get fired up though.

There's up on the roof, and my kids are standing there going, Ola.

I had a some one of the guys on the construction site smashed my trash can.

What?

What the fuck?

It was an accident.

It was with the lull.

It was like that, like big, giant forklift thing.

Just smashed my planner and my trash can.

Ah, shit.

Yeah, it's always, it's weird, though, because, like, I don't, I don't fucking care.

It's like, all right, we'll get a new trash can.

We'll get a planner.

Like, they're going to pay for it.

They're a big construction company.

And, like, my wife gets so mad.

I'm like, yo, this doesn't, this literally doesn't matter.

It does not matter.

It doesn't matter.

I had to go over and talk to them today.

I'm like, dude, we're so sorry.

I was like, I don't give a fuck.

blame you gotta kind of you gotta switch it up i might claim neck injury

you should like dude i was right behind the trash can when you hit it and now my neck is killing me you guys got to redo my front porch

you guys are a multi-million dollar construction company yeah the plumbers at my house right now dude there's roots in the plumbing and i was embarrassed because like yesterday and today they've been there and i went out like twice or three times and i was like

i can like use the toilet right like i i'm like asking them permission to shit it's a fair thing like you haven't had any plumbers here for the last two weeks it's invariably and they i i uh they told me uh time they were like 7 a.m to 1 p.m no plumbing

around 12 time 12 30 12 45 i was like it's got to be done by now sent a dump down the plumbing it was open

i got phone calls immediately they're like you can't use the toilet

where'd it go i don't know where the dump went where'd the pile go the pile might have come flying at one of of those poor fucks.

Oh, no.

I mean, I thought they were gone, dude.

Oh, dude.

It probably flew out of the side of the house.

That's what I was so worried about.

Some Chipotle beer pile came flying right at him.

Yeah, that was.

I could have sworn by 1245.

Where did it go?

How the hell did they know?

They knew right away.

I think it's literally an open pipe.

Oh, because they're doing like, yeah, the outside work.

Oh, they came back.

Dude, I was outside last night before they smashed my trash can, and I was like, so I had bought a bunch of soils.

I'm like planting a bunch of stuff.

And there was a guy behind the fence of the construction site just going like,

just, I think he was going to hit with a dump.

They were gone, dude.

No one was here.

It wasn't here, it was at my house.

I know, but I'm back to defending mine because I realize as a listener, you might be very furious at me.

I'd be mad if I heard someone else do that.

I'd be like, fucking wait.

I thought they were gone, dude.

Oh,

yeah, true.

That's a really evil thing to do.

do there's probably just a dump behind your wall somewhere there's been a dump in my wall for fucking two years they finally fixed it but

don't get me started on these new houses dude it's criminal framing framing with two by fours alone it's a criminal move dude it's got to be two by sixes

yeah they they really they fuck everybody dude

Everything's it's I think this is this is wood, but a lot of the houses are just all plastic.

It's like plastic fucking composite wood.

It's just basically like mushed together.

They really get away with murder, and then they just, you know, be like, this is a luxury house.

Yeah.

How?

You go, it's in Austin.

It's $8 million.

Dude, this is.

They're doing it everywhere.

They do it in Philly, too.

And it's just, they build them.

It's, don't get me started, dude.

It pisses me off.

It's a really evil thing to do.

To like, I mean, it's one thing to try to save some money, but they'll like, it's going to, there's going to be massive problems.

And there's like,

sue us.

You're like, I just spent all of my money on this house.

I can't sue you.

You made the house $10 million.

It's two bedrooms.

You took all my money.

It's crazy.

Yeah, it's really shitty.

Especially here.

They're getting fast and loose with the pool, too.

Yeah.

I walked outside, just the hot tub was empty one day.

Just water.

I don't know where that water was.

Bro, you could have jumped in there and got hurt.

I know.

That's a big fight.

It's deep.

You're fucking six feet deep.

Cannibal.

Ah!

Oh, fuck.

Are you just stuck down there?

We should get real tiges.

Could be time.

I'm going to sue those builders for sure.

Yeah, it's time to start suing people.

Yeah.

Ah, my neck.

I should have laid by the trash can, like, ah,

ah, god damn it.

What the hell, man?

Yeah, they're pretty funny.

The guy was like, you had a neighbor you don't like?

Maybe just switch it with your neighbors.

I was like, brother.

Fuck it.

I won't be doing that.

But yeah, I think, yeah, well, whatever.

I do think is a guy where like, yo, we got it.

And then I went to like the actual, I guess they had a bunch of their subs.

And I went to the, like, the foreman or manager or whatever.

And I was like, hey, just just want to follow up on this.

And he was like, What?

He came and saw it, and he was like, Do you know who it was?

And I was like, Describe the guys.

Nah, he was just kind of, I described him.

Yeah,

I don't want them passing the buck.

It's probably tough to hold on.

How'd you describe him?

Well, it was

wearing a crazy outfit.

Yeah,

he was wearing Ed Arty jeans.

I was like, The one guy was like a short, kind of plump Mexican guy.

You should probably find him.

And then, yeah.

And the other one was a short, plump Mexican guy.

Nerves it down.

No, they got it on cam.

They went with the IM Spartacus.

True.

They got it on cam.

They have those giant fucking IM skies.

It's still going to be impossible.

It's still going to be impossible.

Like a Where's Waldo picture?

Yeah, true.

Well, we'll see.

We'll see what they come up with because my trash can is fucked up right now.

That's bullshit.

How do they even, it's plastic, right?

Yeah, they just fucking ran it over.

You know, this like giant forklift, it's called a lull where they like lift.

It's like a forklift that can extend like a boom and go like up like three stories.

It's one of those.

They've been whipping those things around.

And yeah, they fucking caught my planter.

Luckily, if I had something in it, I'd have been fucking pissed, but it was empty.

So I got my watermelons growing.

I cannot wait to harvest my watermelons.

That's going to be awesome.

When does that happen?

I don't know.

I think in maybe a month or two, hopefully before it gets too chilly.

So I'm pumped about that.

I got watermelons and

planted some garlic, which is about, I heard like a year-long process.

Ooh, yeah.

That's going to keep the vampires out.

You have a sinner's garden.

You have a full sinner's garden.

All right.

Well, if we're being racist,

I was at Chicken Chip Bingo,

and it was me and

three African Americans.

Yeah.

And

they feed the chicken watermelon.

Do they really?

Yeah.

You know, shit.

Yeah, I guess.

And I was just standing there and I was like, don't look, dude.

You'll go crazy.

If you see what's going on in there, you're going to go crazy.

Don't look.

Jump out of watermelon fat chicken.

Watermelon chicken.

Dude.

Like, don't avert your eyes, bro.

Tie yourself to the mess.

It's like

sirens.

It's like in France when they dip the pigeons in cognac.

Oh, man.

I think it's probably good eating, too.

We talked about it before.

Black people get a terrible rap for that.

Yeah.

That sucks.

So unfair.

The most delicious foods.

I told you, I was working with a guy one time and we're leaving a construction site.

And I don't know how we came into this.

Wherever we were working, maybe we were next to like a supermarket, and someone just gave us some watermelon and some other stuff.

And my black co-worker was carrying the watermelon.

I could tell he was walking home with it and he was like walking back to the car.

And at one point, he was getting kind of uneasy.

And I was like, bro, you want me to carry the thing for you?

He's like, dude, yeah, I just feel fucking crazy holding this thing.

Last night, Brian Simpson walked into the green room eating a banana

tony immediately was like

he took one bite like oh fuck

and then i was like tony you can't eat it you'd be gay

i was like you can tie your hair back to eat bananas dude

yeah getting crushed fruit stereotypes that hurts yeah true especially dude fried chicken's so good so good and meanwhile koreans are the real fried chicken hounds yeah koreans love fried chicken

Yeah.

Yeah, well, they've, you know, they protected their merchandise.

No, the Korean black connection is strong.

The Korean black connection is strong.

True.

Very strong.

I used to work for a very racist Korean man who was stabbed twice.

That'll do it.

Yeah,

he's got his reasons, dude.

I'd be pretty upset.

He wasn't even.

He was stabbed twice.

I'd be like, yeah, I'm racist.

Yeah, the store.

He was in a convenience store that sold 40s.

He's like, I worked in the 40 deli.

Very bad neighbors.

He always go to neighbors.

The neighbors were very bad.

He got stabbed.

Yeah, he called the neighbors.

I mean,

sold him down the 40 deli.

That's where he was wearing his very creative socks and flip-flops.

You're going to die in there.

You're going to go down with the ship in the 40 deli.

40 deli, dude, North Philly.

No, it's crazy.

Polo fleece, socks and flip-flops, being like, oh,

getting fucking poked for the 40.

This is two Silver Thunders.

Like, let them go, bro.

They cost you $3.

Let them go.

They do defend their wares.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

You're not joblifting, dude.

They're coming out.

No, they're not.

They hit you with a stick, dude.

They have a ninja turtle.

He kept that thing on him.

Oh, really?

He used to love to show us.

Me and my brother worked for him.

He'd be like,

pull it out.

I'm like, dude, sick, man.

Fuck it.

Use it, pussy.

Shoot someone.

You had a gun on you and you got stabbed twice?

I think that's the reason he got the gun finally.

After this, stab me twice.

Stabbed me twice.

He wasn't like stabbing me can't get straight.

He wasn't vitriolic or like mean about it.

He'd be like, because I would have to deliver to certain areas.

And he'd be like, be very careful.

Lots of bad people.

He's just like, you might get stabbed.

Be careful.

Yeah.

Was never mean.

But yeah, that was the one time he teetered on the edge when he.

That's fair, though.

That's like.

He gets stabbed.

If you get stabbed twice and somebody's going back to that neighborhood, that would be like somebody going to like

Elm Street.

You'd be like, there's Freddy Krueger there.

So

like Michael Myers lives in that neighborhood.

So just you might get fucking stabbed.

It's a horror movie.

That's terrifying.

I've talked about it before, but it always made me laugh because he's always rattling off business ideas.

And the one time he was like talking about pet shops, he's like, pet shops is a good business.

And I was in there and I was like, okay, like just waiting for another delivery.

I know what's next.

Black people a little bit of pitaboo.

And I was like, yo, bro, come on.

But he was like, not being, he was like, no, no, no, they buy a lot of stuff at a Petaboo.

And I was like,

I was like, all right, so where are these going?

He's like, he's like, oh, be very careful.

Dude was funny as hell.

I told you, he showed my brother his dick.

I forgot about this.

I'd like to hear about it again.

He was just complaining how he couldn't get hard.

He couldn't get any power.

He called it power.

I got no power.

I have no power.

No power.

I'm going to steal it.

He

just showed my brother his gun, then he goes,

and just flashed it as piece.

I was like, yo, what the fuck?

Oh, no power.

Dude was the fucking man.

Yeah, it sounds like so funny.

That was the guy who told me, if I get my girlfriend pregnant, I lose.

He's like, oh, make sure to wear a condom.

You get her pregnant or you lose.

He's a fucking beast.

He's all over it.

I wonder what he's up to now.

He's probably been stabbed a third time by now.

He would sit.

I would drive deliveries.

He would sit in the passenger side, Indian style, and just be like,

and just sing Korean songs to himself.

Such a beast.

Yeah, he was a man.

He had a beamer, and he just eventually just started loading it with beer, cases of beer, and just be like, take my car.

And he just trashed his car.

The Koreans are very fly.

They're the flyest Asians by far.

So

let it be known.

Chinese people get fly, but it's kind of like space age fly.

Yeah.

Koreans just like cop beamers, fucking

crushed fried chicken.

Really sick.

They definitely peeped game, dude.

Showing your dick to your boys, though, is nice.

Like, having no, yeah, having no fucking

any worries at all, just be like, dude, I can't even get hard.

Look at this thing.

Nah, dude, he shooted my dick.

It's crazy.

It's also, too, like, you can diagnose that problem by looking at a man's flaccid penis.

Yeah, it's really soft right now.

Yeah, dude, you're not lying.

Your penis is soft as hell.

It's so small.

It's fucking Tuesday at 10 a.m.

What the fuck?

We're in a chili warehouse in December at 10 a.m.

It's crazy.

Your dick is so soft.

I saw your face, Nate.

You didn't like that.

You didn't like that.

I got away with saying that.

No, it's fine.

I was like, it's nice.

It's nice you can kind of show your dick to some guy.

And I just watched Nate go.

He's like, and I'm zesty.

No,

no, I'm embracing it now.

I'm leaning in.

It's fine.

I just was, I just still had that.

Normalize it.

Yo, normalize it.

It's fine.

Yeah.

Just post up and be like, what's up, guys?

Do a cool handshake and go, what?

Bust over there.

Just sit on La Mer's egg for him.

He's a dragon egg.

I'm going, hatch it.

Wait, what?

Excuse me.

You've got a mayor's got a dragon egg.

I'm going to sit on it and hatch it for him.

It's a whole thing where it got to the bottom.

Yo, what the hell?

You're joking around.

I'll be a sneaker.

Do you sit on the mayor's dragon egg?

You guys really don't know how to joke around about gay stuff, do you?

This is crazy, dude.

He's new to them.

You guys are the first generation to adopt to the white way of dragging.

He's a constant person.

Yeah, it's like, wait, that's not how you use it.

What the shit?

What the damn?

Yo, I'm going to fucking throat my boy.

Just fucking smack his balls.

Yeah.

I touched your penis today.

You got me underwater.

What?

Underwater?

Yeah, bro.

Bro, there's levels to this shit.

Yeah, that's how you do it.

Well, you guys, once you master swimming,

you guys are going to get swimming and gay shit.

Some guy was like, you want to try these goggles?

I was like, yeah, I'll try them.

And I I put on goggles and immediately just went underwater.

Squeeze.

He's got a cold water penis in it.

There's nothing wrong with going underwater and giving someone a little

bit because you can hear it through the water, which is very funny.

Oh!

Yeah, I was working with a little crappy.

I had no power.

No one had that.

Yeah, true.

I didn't even think about this.

I didn't get a grip.

Just so you know.

I was just laughing, like, dang, that was not a good one.

Yeah, somebody caught my tennis in there.

Caught a goldfish.

There was a goldfish flying around.

That was a guppy down there.

Just finding Nemo.

Yeah, that was.

Water was cold.

It was refreshing, though, man.

But yeah, it was chilly.

I was so, I just had to jump right in, man.

I can't walk in.

I got to

Godzilla walk it.

That's a tough Godzilla walk.

I just want to stop halfway.

It's worse.

It's worse doing it.

It got worse.

That was my second time swimming today.

Godzilla walks powerful, though, into cold water.

It's very tight.

It is very tight.

But yeah, I landed right on my back.

I just wanted to feel out a gainer off the diving board.

It's hilarious.

Bro, fucking landed flat.

My back felt like it was on fire.

It hurt so bad.

But whatever.

That's what happens.

It was fine.

The back flips have been.

I have a backflip around.

I've never seen them, dude.

You're over.

You're going too far.

Yeah, going too far.

Yeah, you're getting too much.

Front flip, I land it like

right on my fucking face.

Yeah, you're overextending on these flips.

Got it.

You're too powerful.

I got to get to the one and a half.

That'd be nasty hitting the one and a half would be cool you're close i could yeah if i kept ripping i could definitely do it you ever see those videos of uh the african-americanese jumping into the pool with all of their clothes on i think that's a memphis thing i love that yeah it's very fun to watch we should do that at barton springs we could do that at barton springs it'd be tough to get out fast true you got to keep kind of cycling yeah

Yeah, I was at a wedding recently and I had, it was a black wedding and a lot of people were jumping in that night, like in all their their clothes.

And I was like kind of confused.

Then I saw the internet.

I was like, okay.

It's a viral trend.

Were they doing that?

That wasn't there.

Lay flat.

We got the video.

They went back, and we were at a different resort, and then they went back.

I don't know why.

I thought that was a Memphis thing.

Could be right.

We looked that up.

We look into that.

Jarvis.

Could have started in Memphis.

I don't know why.

It's how I got to Memphis.

Yeah, it's a.

It's pretty crazy.

I mean, it looks cool in the video when you jump in with all your clothes, but like, what do you do after?

Cut a rug.

True.

Stab a crayon.

Go to the 40 store and go, yeah, this is mine.

Well, a lot of it was coming up

like it was flipping in the pools.

Memphis.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a lot of Memphis.

It's what YouTube is showing me.

They're all like Memphis pool parties look like this.

Yeah.

Yeah, it looks sick as hell.

I do like the black streaming game.

Yep.

It's fucking sick.

I don't understand any of it, but there's massive fortunes being amassed.

Yeah, Kai Spot.

Yeah,

it's just the fucking line of chat flying down.

It's just dudes like, it's pretty sick.

Yeah, Kodak.

I kind of want to steal it and have a great appearance.

Kodak's was so good.

A little glitch for the Twitch.

Oh, yeah.

Fucking awesome.

I kind of want to steal the swag, and for all of our episodes, has to have like a fake chat log flying down.

Just be like CTFU, Skulls, CTFU, Skulls.

Yeah, I'm for it.

Just chill in an apartment.

Pretty tight.

Bishop Speed went to the stand.

I know.

I saw that.

Saw it.

I didn't realize he went into the show, and those cameras have like a huge light on it.

Oh, God.

While Aaron Berg was on stage, and he's just in the back, filming Aaron Berg with a huge spotlight on him.

Oh, my God.

And then he went on stage, did a backflip, barked, and then ran out.

Yeah.

That's pretty tight.

Yeah, it was pretty sick.

That's what what it's all about now.

Jungle Joe made an appearance.

Who's that?

The

Jungle Drill.

Oh, nice, nice, nice, nice, nice.

We're in an hour.

Okay.

Hell yeah.

Arrivederci.

Yeah, there it is.

Ciao.

Bye.