Ep 579 - Crumb & The Hutt (feat. Joe Derosa & Lemaire Lee)

Speaker 1 Wow, wow, Wes. I can still swap it out.
If that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's probably less than that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's less than $100. What did you say? Zesty S?

Speaker 1 All right, let's get started.

Speaker 1 You can get a decent 80. Damn, one second in and you get it.

Speaker 1 You can get a decent 85 for like 700, 800 bucks. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I mean, you can go all the way up to three grand or whatever, but

Speaker 1 you're talking extra on top of the 70 something? No, no, no. The 75 75 was only

Speaker 1 six.

Speaker 1 You get four. You guys are on a star podcast? I'm ready, dude.
Oh, you were doing it? That was what you want to do?

Speaker 1 I'm just sitting waiting for you to talk prices. It's stuck TV prices.
Yeah, dude. You're fired up.
You got to be a man.

Speaker 1 Matt's gone. So

Speaker 1 I was just really scraping the fucking.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 1 I'm just joking. Happy to have you.
Look, man. Your anxiety, I know where you're at.

Speaker 1 Where are you? Once you get clean and sober like me,

Speaker 1 you're a fucking animal, dude. I'm sorry.
You don't drink for two days. You think you're fucking living right.
Who doesn't?

Speaker 1 Three days, I go, I'm fucking fine.

Speaker 1 I go for one day. I have one healthy shit.
I'm like, oh, I'm fine. Yeah, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 What the fuck was I worried about the last 30 years? I've been doing this stuff called dose.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? It's supposed to help.
We'll see. Dude, it does.
Your energy, it like jacks your energy up. What does it do? I I don't know.
I have it. I have it.

Speaker 1 Whatever. You got to do it every day.
It's a liver cleanse.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 it's for guys who don't really want to stop drinking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, throw a supplement on Instagram where they go, you've talked about being a booze bag a lot. We've picked that up.
And here's your liver health in your algorithm. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Dude, I don't want to stop drinking. It's too fun.
Hey, I'll tell you what, I got my hands on a little revolutionary war dock. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You want to know, how do you think we came up with the name United States of America?

Speaker 1 No one even thinks about it, do they? Well, I just assumed it was a bunch of states that would be United. Yeah, but you still got to come up with a name when you go, we're declaring independence.

Speaker 1 What the fuck do we call ourselves? I feel like it was early on, and you called things what they were back then.

Speaker 1 You weren't going to come up with a fancy name. You were going to just say, this is what it is.

Speaker 1 It's a fuck you to the king, the United States of America.

Speaker 1 I like that you're trying to sell that you're wrong, but I like it. I mean, I have no idea because I don't nerd out these docs.
Okay, Star Wars dad.

Speaker 1 Freddy Krueger t-shirt.

Speaker 1 But no, I never even took the time to think about it. But it's not that simple.
It's not just like this. You can't just be like, we all agree.
This is what we're calling it.

Speaker 1 Because everybody has to come together and be like, what do we do? What is an America anyway?

Speaker 1 You know? That's a good point, Le Mer. What's a Europe? Shit, dude.
What's an Africa? Dude. I mean, you're asking the hard-hitting questions.
I always thought it was named after Amerigo Vespucci.

Speaker 1 That's what I mean.

Speaker 1 Which I think that's been the bunk-proven false.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Columbus Indians thing is probably false, too. Probably.
That he called them Indians because he thought he was in India. Yeah, I think he knew

Speaker 1 where he was. There was like a term they were called that said people of God, and it was like in.

Speaker 1 I forget, I forget what it is.

Speaker 1 I thought it was a little Spanish for. Well, anyway.

Speaker 1 It turns out,

Speaker 1 just some fucking guy wrote into a local paper, the Pennsylvania Post, and said, we should be the United States of America. It was like an editorial.
And he didn't write his real name.

Speaker 1 His pseudonym was Republicus.

Speaker 1 Oh, fucking badass. Republicus.

Speaker 1 It's like a transformer. It fired me up last night.

Speaker 1 Also,

Speaker 1 is there a...

Speaker 1 Bigger juice on the planet? That's the juice. Writing into the paper and going, we should call this country United States of America.
Also, my name's Republicus.

Speaker 1 And the whole country was like, yo, United States of America is sick, dude. I bet a USA chant started

Speaker 1 almost. Like, the first guy was like, USA.

Speaker 1 U.S.A.

Speaker 1 U.S.A.

Speaker 1 Republicus.

Speaker 1 You know, in the music docs, they're like, hmm. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Fucking war pigs.

Speaker 1 Like they did that with the USA chant.

Speaker 1 Wait a minute. Why? But I agree with Lemaire.

Speaker 1 What does America come from if it's not the Americo Vespucci guy? I'm not sure.

Speaker 1 I think it might be Americo. What if it was the best spooshies Voltaire?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 I said, what if Republicans was the best spooshies Voltaire? What does that mean? Voltaire?

Speaker 1 I know who Voltaire is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he had a fake name, and then... You know, he got in trouble.
And people say, if you have a fake name, you have a Voltaire.

Speaker 1 Oh, okay. Yeah, I didn't know that.
Sorry, that's all right. I didn't mean Vespasian.
But what did you mean by what you said? Like, what if Republicus is Vespucci?

Speaker 1 No, it was

Speaker 1 like two, 300 years later.

Speaker 1 Okay. So, okay.
All right.

Speaker 1 All right. Yeah, well, shit, man.

Speaker 1 You live and you learn. No, I think they said it was

Speaker 1 Thomas Paine or

Speaker 1 I think they said that might have been Republicus. They don't know who Republicus was.

Speaker 1 ChatGPP still says it's from Americo Vespucci. All right.
There we go.

Speaker 1 But it's the feminine Latin form of Americus, which I kind of like Americus more. Yeah, I like Americus.
Americus is good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, U.S. on the end of a word or a name or O-R.
Yeah, you like some Latin.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Us.
Republicus. Republic or.

Speaker 1 They sound like Transformer names. Not just.
Yeah. Or He-Man names.
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Speaker 1 I saw this little fucking shadow pig.

Speaker 1 Scurrying homework. He's a little rat.

Speaker 1 He's a little pig. Yeah, dude.
He's a shadow pig. You can't tell he's a pig because he's always like, oh, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sitting in any corner. Oh, shit, he's blacked out.

Speaker 1 There's not like a real. It's like when a British person's retarded.

Speaker 1 I mean, this guy's smart.

Speaker 1 Like with Guard Dog, he always sounds like he's blacked out.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just smoking cedars in the corner, dude. Back-to-back American Spirit Yellow.
That's what he'd be doing sober.

Speaker 1 You can't tell. I was sober as a bird last night.
Yeah, see? That's a Gardini guy. I was a soberman.
Yeah. You were a soberman? How late were you out? I saw you like 10.30.

Speaker 1 I was just getting to the Kill Tony after hang.

Speaker 1 It was like 10.15, 10.30, and he was walking out with his girl. I was like, where are you guys going? And his girl went, we're going to go home.

Speaker 1 And I could see the shadow pig's eyes like, what did he want it to stay, dude?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you hit him with one of these. Like,

Speaker 1 no, that's not true. I wanted to go home.
He's like, Yeah, I'm happy to be going home, man. It was good.

Speaker 1 Somebody take a break. I was happy to go home.

Speaker 1 We got fucked up. Yeah, you guys had a good time.
Yeah, we had a nice time. I had a good time.
I was watching an American Revolutionary War doc.

Speaker 1 Shit was tight.

Speaker 1 Don't think you understand.

Speaker 1 Well, tell me about it, man. I love, this is one of my favorite things about you, and I truly do mean it.
I am enamored by the fact that you truly love history.

Speaker 1 And you, like, I wish I was something that was of use like that. I only love nerdy stuff.
It's not really of use for me to be like Republicus.

Speaker 1 No, but it's history. Like, like,

Speaker 1 I only get in, like, I swear to God, dude, I'm not kidding. I'll get into like the He-Man mythology the way you'll get into Civil War.
I, I, it's like, it's, it's the kind of shit that

Speaker 1 some deep mythos, brother. Yeah, He-Man's dope and shit.
History is, yeah, whatever.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I wish I liked history. I know.
I wish, I know. And it tells you why we're, where we're at.
But, uh, you know what I was thinking about?

Speaker 1 You know how they think like tar and feathering is kind of funny?

Speaker 1 Wait, what? Like, it's like a silly thing. Like, oh, we tarred and feathered him, huh? Yeah.
That was like a brutal, no, it's horrible. Horrific.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 scolding hot tar. It like killed people.
Yeah. It's like one of the worst deaths.

Speaker 1 It burned your skin off and the feathers would fuse into your skin fucking horrific became a chicken there's a there's a thank you

Speaker 1 there's a uh maybe the never mind uh

Speaker 1 i was about to say i was about to i had to walk that back i was about to be so racist

Speaker 1 i was about to be as racist as possible that was crazy

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 1 but no in uh you ever see john adams Yeah, yeah. Great.

Speaker 1 Great miniseries, but they tar and feather a guy in that, and it always stuck with me.

Speaker 1 I watched the first two episodes last night, and they're two hours long. I don't know if I'm allowed to say it, but I got my hands on the Ken Burns Revolutionary War.
It's not out yet. Oh, nice.

Speaker 1 And my manager sent it to me at like 10. And I was like, I'm watching this right now.
Nice. How is it? I watched it for four hours.
It's fucking great.

Speaker 1 So that's the doc you've been watching. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like I'm not allowed to say it. You're not even allowed to say you've been watching it.
You're spilling the beans of stuff that's in it, dude. Well, talking about Republicans.

Speaker 1 Nobody knew about Republicans. I know, Republicans is nice.

Speaker 1 No one's going to watch. I mean,

Speaker 1 there's a lot of people that watch this that don't get down with Ken Burns. They should.
Yeah, Ken Burns is

Speaker 1 Vietnam was fucking nice.

Speaker 1 We were talking about this. I don't remember if it was you and me or not, but what was the dock?

Speaker 1 What was like Ken Burns' Sgt Peppers? Like, what's the dock that broke him? I think it's the jazz one because I remember my friend Scott had the box set,

Speaker 1 the soundtrack of that. And I just remember that Ken Burns' jazz documentary was like everywhere.
And I was like, that's the one I feel like made him.

Speaker 1 I think,

Speaker 1 I mean, for me, it was the Civil War one. Right.
Ken Burns Civil War, Ken Burns, baseball is fucking nice. Yeah, I heard baseball was a big one.
And then his brother puts out docs too.

Speaker 1 Like, one of them did Brooklyn Bridge,

Speaker 1 which is nice.

Speaker 1 What are they? The Boring Brothers?

Speaker 1 They probably is.

Speaker 1 Probably the most boring fucking guys.

Speaker 1 Just both of them sitting there in sweaters.

Speaker 1 Just looking at books. Looking at fucking books.
Dude, come on, man. Pick up some video games.
Play the vidges and jack-offs. Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 You got to make Ken Burns, The Revolutionary War, the video game. I'd be all in on that.
That would be nice.

Speaker 1 What's his brother's name? I forget.

Speaker 1 And you also love Louis Thoreau? Louis Thoreau is a great, yeah. Yeah, I like him.
He's a little more of a provocative documentary. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 But my favorite one he did was the was the courtney love one did you ever see his miami uh when he goes into super prisons no it's as funny as it gets

Speaker 1 just in there with black dudes they're like we fucking we have to beat your ass and he's like no why

Speaker 1 what if i don't want to fight oh you're gonna have to fight we're gonna fuck you up he's like but but you don't have to do that

Speaker 1 it's pretty great you went no the one of the

Speaker 1 best stocks i've ever seen is his new one about uh the right wing uh no his new one's about uh israel Israel-Palestine. Yeah.
Yeah, I haven't watched it. I heard it was pretty fucking good.

Speaker 1 He goes deep, man.

Speaker 1 The first Scientology one I ever saw. The guys like threatening him and shit.
It was crazy.

Speaker 1 Does he interview a settler and that? Yeah. And she's just like fully like.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Not great. They were saying the whole time they're like, they can leave, or

Speaker 1 that's what the settlers were saying.

Speaker 1 Did you see Netanyahu where he compares himself to Hitler?

Speaker 1 He compared himself to the clips.

Speaker 1 He's, dude, I'm swearing. I watched it three times.
I was like, he can't be saying that. But he's like, he's like, they say, you know,

Speaker 1 step back, step down. And he's like, you don't just stand aside and say, here you go.
You have the land. Adolf Hitler didn't do that.

Speaker 1 I was like, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 I kept reminding. And then I looked at the caption and it was like, Netanyahu compares himself to Adolf Hitler.
I was like, holy shit, I think he just did that. Are you sure it was not AI?

Speaker 1 Because I've been tricked. They're getting real good at just

Speaker 1 showing a speech and

Speaker 1 changing like two words. Can you, Gardeni, can you tell me? What does he say? Maybe he meant

Speaker 1 what he was trying to say was

Speaker 1 people didn't placate Hitler. Like when he was taking all the land.
It doesn't sound like he said that because it's like

Speaker 1 they're doing the ground strike now. He's doing a lot of stuff that

Speaker 1 He's doing a lot of stuff. He's doing a lot of stuff.

Speaker 1 Can I say this is another Kanye was right moment?

Speaker 1 Did you ever see the Gavin McGiddens interview with Kanye? No. Where he goes, he goes, and Kanye's in the full black

Speaker 1 ski mask hood thing where you can't see his face. And Gavin goes.

Speaker 1 Now, look, he's like, you know, there are statistics about black people, about the crime and stuff like that. He goes, but when you meet a black person, you don't take those statistics into it.

Speaker 1 You start with a clean slate and you judge them as a person. Do you do that with Jews? And kind of goes, nope.

Speaker 1 And Gavin going to start to laugh and he goes, this intervention is not going well.

Speaker 1 I think it was going right where Gavin wanted it to. Yeah, Gavin wanted that shit.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 Well, there we go. What else is going on?

Speaker 1 We're just remembering stuff we saw. I have a good doc.
What do you recommend? It's only 30 minutes long.

Speaker 1 It's called The Quilters. And it's, it's, no, no, listen to me.
Trust me.

Speaker 1 Trust me.

Speaker 1 It's on HBO.

Speaker 1 It's like 30 minutes long.

Speaker 1 It's about a maximum security prison. And there are these level five convicts, which means level five is murder.
Like it's all the worst crimes.

Speaker 1 And there's a quilt shop in there, and they make quilts for like needy children. And they're super into it.
And these guys got like murder, double murder, whatever.

Speaker 1 They're in the quilt shop and they're like, here's all our fabrics. And

Speaker 1 they run it like a quilt and they get so into it. And the kids send them, dude, and the quilts are amazing.
Kids send them what?

Speaker 1 They send them pictures of like me with, and it's like, thank you so much.

Speaker 1 And they cry. Dude, that's nice.
It's beautiful, dude. It's beautiful.
These guys are like, this is the only way I can give back to society for what I did. And it's crazy.
I cried during it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's very nice. It's really nice.
Yeah, maybe I'll give that a shot. You should.
I got to tell you, I've been watching this Mussolini show.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 a doc or like a

Speaker 1 scripted show. Who plays the moosh? I don't know.

Speaker 1 Some Italian guy. It was made in Italy.
Okay. But of course, Europe is also, you know, 10 years behind us when it comes to like on-the-nose shit.
Right. Like culturally.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The last episode, he's like, I'm going to make Italy great again. And you're like, oh, so Trump's a fascist.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 You just butt-fucked the whole show.

Speaker 1 Turn off. So

Speaker 1 I'm out.

Speaker 1 Is it only like one season? Is this season two? I'm not sure. I think it comes out weekly.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And I was kind of excited about it. I mean, they make him a bumbling idiot, which I doubt he was based on what he got done.

Speaker 1 They do that a lot with industry. Mussolini apparently was kind of a putz.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's like the.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you ever see him give a speech? Oh, it's good.
Swag. Yeah, yeah.
Swag out the wazoo. People give Hitler a lot of credit for speeches.

Speaker 1 Check out the moose, dude.

Speaker 1 The pauses, the fucking arm crosses. Oh, is Mussolini the guy who plucked a chicken during a meeting?

Speaker 1 I never heard that one. Really? I can't remember who, but it was a story about somebody being really good.
He's got a chicken on the brain.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 That's the second chicken talk.

Speaker 1 I think you got a chicken on your breast.

Speaker 1 The

Speaker 1 non-interracial.

Speaker 1 What is it?

Speaker 1 It is Mussolini plucking a chicken? The image of... Yeah.
Nice, Omar.

Speaker 1 It's like a metaphor or something. It's a political cartoon.
Nice. Did you find anything for the hip movie? I can't find it.
It's hard to. That I got AI'd.
God, you may. Damn, dude.

Speaker 1 But they could also be. There's things he said a long time ago.
It also might have been old. There was like one from 2015 where he kind of says what you said in a different way.

Speaker 1 Maybe that's what it was.

Speaker 1 I would imagine, as a politician, you'd go out of your way to avoid saying,

Speaker 1 I'm a lot like Adolf Hitler. You think? Yeah.
You'd think. I mean, that used to be a bad thing.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Used to be rough.
No, that thing about make Italy great again,

Speaker 1 that kind of stupid fucking winky thing, that ruined

Speaker 1 Skull Island for me, Kong Skull Island. What happened there? It takes place in the 60s, and the first line, a taxi pulls up in front of like,

Speaker 1 I don't know, some fucking the cap, some state building or something. And

Speaker 1 John Goodman goes, there's two dudes in the back of the car, and John Goodman goes, my boy, we are entering the strangest decade decade of politics this country will ever see.

Speaker 1 And it was like right when Trump got in. I was like,

Speaker 1 fuck off. Yeah, yeah.
Like, you know, like, it's just, it's, I hate shit like that. I hate winking.
Letting your politics come into the King Kong movie I'm trying to watch.

Speaker 1 Dude, American King Kong, they ruined Godzilla for me because they had the running

Speaker 1 sucked. Oh, my God, dude.
Godzilla Zero was fucking sick. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Japanese one? Wait, that's, yeah, that's from overseas. Yeah, yeah.
That's, that's classic Godzilla. I'm talking King Kong, Godzilla, Forbidden Kingdom, or whatever.

Speaker 1 If you went into that thinking that was going to be good, the bag's on you.

Speaker 1 You're an adult man.

Speaker 1 King Kong had a mecha arm. Godzilla was running.
The whole world's in flames. It's crazy.
Yeah, once they got into that, too, that was like the last straw for you. That was literally the last straw.

Speaker 1 Godzilla doesn't run, dude. When they did the like world between worlds thing where like King Kong lives in that weird other, I was like, this is idiotic.

Speaker 1 I met the kid a couple times that directed every single one of those movies. He must be stacking coin right now, man.
I mean, Jesus Christ. They make like $400 million

Speaker 1 at least.

Speaker 1 At least.

Speaker 1 Chinese people must go nuts when they see those movies.

Speaker 1 They fight huge hits in China.

Speaker 1 Matt's Matt's gone. I'll be reading on behalf of Matt.
Okay. Matt.
Okay, okay. A quick break from the show for a special segment called More or Less Football Edition.

Speaker 1 And it's brought to you by Prize Picks.

Speaker 1 Right. So Shane and I are going to be presented with three player picks and decide together whether we should go more or less each pick.
Shane. So who's looking sharp?

Speaker 1 And who's just like a pedestrian on the field?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Matt, this is what we're thinking prize picks this week.
Let's choose more or less each of the following picks. A.J.
Brown, more or less than 55 receiving yards. I'm going more.
More.

Speaker 1 He's been getting, he's not getting a lot of touches. He's starting to complain.
They're going to force the ball to him more than 55 yards receiving yards.

Speaker 1 I'll go less since you guys want more just to mix it up. Cam Scataboo, more or less than 0.5 rushing touchdowns.
You think he's going to score or not? I love the name. I'm going to say more.

Speaker 1 I like it too.

Speaker 1 He's got a bit of a Star Wars name there. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Josh Allen, more or less, 228 passing yards. You gotta go more.
The guy's a gunslinger. Okay.
Shane, I'm gonna say I'd go less. Last week, I picked him, and he went under.

Speaker 1 Hmm. How about that?

Speaker 1 Wow. All right.

Speaker 1 So that's our take. Now it's time to lock in the doors.
Prospects. Don't do this.
Stay in your favor, stand on business, win real money with your best takes, whether it's touchdown passes, receptions.

Speaker 1 Take your more or less pick on their stat rejections to cash in this season.

Speaker 1 Here, you read from Matt there. Second paragraph up.

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Speaker 1 The bag's on me.

Speaker 1 It was a great read, though, man. Prize picks.
It's good to be right. Man, I'll tell you what I'm mad about.
Bad bunnies doing the the fucking halftime show. That's good.
Pissing me the fucking shit.

Speaker 1 No, of course, of course. Who gives a fuck? It was very funny to me that people were upset about that.
Oh, I mean, every once in a while, every once in a while,

Speaker 1 the right gets it so wrong with what they're outrageous. Everybody's outraged about everything, obviously.
But when it's like, dude, don't lose on this one. Why?

Speaker 1 Who gives a fuck?

Speaker 1 I think it's because

Speaker 1 he doesn't speak any speak English. I'm trying to watch football, you fuck.

Speaker 1 And my point was, last year's halftime show was barely uh intelligent intelligible maybe that was for trying to bing bop boom bing

Speaker 1 you hate kendrick no i don't hate kendrick stop hating

Speaker 1 we don't have to talk kendrick a dread she care do the halftime show

Speaker 1 what didn't she care do the halftime show before yeah

Speaker 1 what are they mad about i don't know janet jackson whipped her tits out on it yeah that shit rocked yeah it was great man that was a pivotal moment in like american history like for tv and stuff.

Speaker 1 That was considered

Speaker 1 like now it'd be nothing. Yeah.
I could have sworn she had a sticky over her nipple. She had like a, she had it, like, a, it was, I think it was pierced, and she had this big thing, like,

Speaker 1 almost like a vote for me pin covering her whole nipple. You know what I mean? But yeah,

Speaker 1 it wasn't that crazy. It wasn't that crazy.
Also, why'd they pretend it was like

Speaker 1 when they were like, it was a wardrobe malfunction? Oh, I remember when they tried to lie.

Speaker 1 It was like a pose. He like ripped it off and they both went.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's wild the way they would just lie about shit.
It's, you know, and just let's see if they buy it. The wardrobe malfunction.
Yeah, they bought it. Yeah.
Yeah, they're going to buy it.

Speaker 1 That was, she got like, she was like in trouble for a long time. I remember that.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Was that the first live TV titty drop?

Speaker 1 I feel like, but that was a,

Speaker 1 what's that called? A thing on the nipple? The pasty. A pasty.
Yeah. I mean, I remember.
Sable used to break the pasty.

Speaker 1 Sable would break out the pasties all the time.

Speaker 1 Yeah. WWF had some nips.
Yeah, nips. The cat, Terry Runnels, don't get me started.
Jacqueline, don't get me started. I'm gonna get you started.

Speaker 1 Jack off in there,

Speaker 1 Trish Stratus. I think that was the first ever, I think, I think, for right, yeah.
Live TV trippy drop. That had to be the first one.
That was a pretty big one.

Speaker 1 I remember one of my friends went nuts in my basement. Everyone just went, ah,

Speaker 1 kids were standing on the couch. We were fired up.
That's when Timberlake was the man. Like, he was, like, he's still awesome, but he was like undead.
You remind me of Timberlake. Why is that?

Speaker 1 Just like a smooth operator, slick.

Speaker 1 You about to say something mean? No, that's it.

Speaker 1 Yeah? Yeah. Genuine compliment.
Yeah, you remind me of Justin Timberlake. You're both smooth operators and you're slick.

Speaker 1 I feel like you could beatbox.

Speaker 1 I can't beatbox. Oh, you thought about it.
That was an all right rapper. You're a good rapper? I was a decent rapper at one point.
You know, I haven't done it in a long time.

Speaker 1 Sometimes I still write little rhymes in my head. I'm like, I wish I was a rapper.
Give me some bars.

Speaker 1 I can't remember anything right now.

Speaker 1 No, and I honestly am trying to try to remember something. Okay, please.

Speaker 1 Because that would be big for me.

Speaker 1 I think everyone

Speaker 1 would be very happy to hear you spit some bars. You had a band.

Speaker 1 I know. It still does.
You still have a band? What the hell?

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, yeah, I still have a band. Yeah, it's also windfall.
Yeah, our new record comes out in a couple months. Oh, sick.
Yeah, yeah, it's done. Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1 Then we're going to run and do shows and stuff. That's fun, man.
I love doing that.

Speaker 1 But yeah,

Speaker 1 rapping, not so much anymore.

Speaker 1 It's a young man's game. It's a young man's game.

Speaker 1 It's a different level of commitment. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Rapping's like being a comic. It's like you have to be a rapper.
You know what I mean? Like you have to, it's an everyday thing.

Speaker 1 Not to say that being in a band isn't, but it's a little more, it's a little more lax for whatever reason. But, but there's something about rapping because it's a solo, it's a solo act.

Speaker 1 That's why I say it's like being a comic. It's like constantly.
Yeah, it's a solo act. What do you got in the battle? You know what I mean? Have you ever raped battles?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I used to do it all the time. Oh, that must have been so gay.
Where's that?

Speaker 1 Where can I get that footage? Holy shit. We used to freestyle.
We used to do freestyle battles when I was in college at parties and shit.

Speaker 1 People like it. Don't you have any regrets?

Speaker 1 Remember? I would regret that so much. Why?

Speaker 1 I was pretty good at the college party. I was pretty good at it.
No, people liked it. Like the party, I got chicks from doing it and stuff.
It was, you know. They saw that Timberlake.

Speaker 1 They saw that Timberlake. You smooth up, right? What's this Timberlake? Timberlake the Moose.

Speaker 1 The Moose. You see that? That's my rap name, dude.
Timberlake the Moose. That's my rap name.
That's actually a great nickname.

Speaker 1 Timberlake the Moose.

Speaker 1 Should we talk about our new nicknames?

Speaker 1 I mean, you can try.

Speaker 1 There it is.

Speaker 1 Tried to bait me with my, because,

Speaker 1 Joe, all right, first off, you're calling me the hut.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but

Speaker 1 explain why.

Speaker 1 But, dude. The what? But, dude.
It's literally laid up like hut. I don't.

Speaker 1 I don't. Hold on, dude.
That's a hut. I don't do his bidding.

Speaker 1 Do your bidding.

Speaker 1 I said Joe looked exactly like salacious crumb from Star Wars. And if you look at salacious crumb, especially salacious crumb with his legs crossed sitting.

Speaker 1 And that lad.

Speaker 1 Joe is salacious crumb.

Speaker 1 And I said.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I said Shane's job in the hut. And then he went low and called me.

Speaker 1 It's not a body joke. I'm just saying you're the hut, dude.

Speaker 1 Look at Crumb in the hut. Tell me it's not me and Shane hanging out at a bar.

Speaker 1 I'll happily sit at this man's legs and drink.

Speaker 1 As the crumb, dude.

Speaker 1 Just is Dorosa. It's like, dude, you know what?

Speaker 1 Salacious crumb.

Speaker 1 Underworld creature.

Speaker 1 Salacious crumb.

Speaker 1 I didn't know he had a name either. I was just like, dude, you look like fucking Joppa's friend.
And he was like, he knows Star Wars. He was like, oh, Sledge is Chrome.

Speaker 1 As soon as you said it, I was like, bro.

Speaker 1 You got to get that. That's us kicking.

Speaker 1 All right, I'll give you that. I'll give you that.
That's a good one. Dude, you love just sitting up there

Speaker 1 playing with everybody's emotions

Speaker 1 in the room. Tony is obviously C-3PO.
It's not even close.

Speaker 1 Tony might be laying, dude. Beezer is Bib Fortuna.

Speaker 1 Tony might be Laya the Bikini, dude. Beezer.
Beezer is Bib Fortuna. 100% Beezer is Bib Fortuna.
100,000%.

Speaker 1 Who's Saboba?

Speaker 1 Which one's that?

Speaker 1 He's the one who gave Anakin his. It's got to be all Jabba's Palace, though.
Okay, okay, okay. Everybody else, from there out, everybody else is too cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's tough not to, you can't give someone a cool one. Yeah, nobody gets to be like Boba Fett.
Yeah. It's too cool.
Yeah, who's the Rancor? Is that in the

Speaker 1 Maireish?

Speaker 1 The Warthog?

Speaker 1 The Warthog guard. No, no, Lamaire's the pig guard.
Lamer's the blue dude that plays

Speaker 1 the keyboards. That's a cool one, though.
No, it's not. Blue guy.

Speaker 1 Look up the blue.

Speaker 1 I think.

Speaker 1 That's amazing.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's cool. But look at the.
Can you do me a kindness and look up the

Speaker 1 pig guard at Travis Palace?

Speaker 1 It's got a

Speaker 1 bit of Lamise in there, but that guard's a little pushy. I don't think Le Maire is very pushy.
No, that's what I'm saying. He's the keyboard player.

Speaker 1 The keyboard player is very close, but the pig guard. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let me take a look at that guard. The Cantina band plays good music.
That

Speaker 1 does have Misie written all over it. Who is it?

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 I like the keyboard. I'll tell you what the keyboard is.
The pig guard is.

Speaker 1 I think that's O'Connor.

Speaker 1 You know, the O'Connor would love to shove a dude against the wall. You know who Tommy is? I know it's on Tatooine, though.
It's

Speaker 1 fucking what's his name?

Speaker 1 The guy's like, I don't like you.

Speaker 1 That's Tommy. Dude, he just get his arm cut off right now.
That's O'Connor's topic. That's O'Connor's poke.

Speaker 1 Stupid drunk assholes.

Speaker 1 You're like, fuck you, dude.

Speaker 1 Did he say, I don't like you? My friend doesn't like you either.

Speaker 1 I got the death toe on 38 systems.

Speaker 1 Yeah, or the nato. Nate's a tough one.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sweet Lando.

Speaker 1 Is Jawa? Could he be a Jawa? Nate might be a fucking Jawa.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, he's an Ewok, bro. No, it's got to be tattooing.
We got to keep it near Jawa. That's what he's a fucking Jawa.
Jow's palate. Jowa.

Speaker 1 All right, Tony. What are you looking at? Jowa's?

Speaker 1 Nate kind of looks like an Ewok a little.

Speaker 1 Fuck it. That's me.
My bad, my bad. No, Nate's Warwick the Ewok.

Speaker 1 They're wicked, I mean. Wicked the Ewok.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fuck it, dude. We'll fly you to Java's Palace.

Speaker 1 Who's

Speaker 1 all right, Tony's 3PO? Definitely. Who's Leia, then?

Speaker 1 Can't give a hot babe. No.
Unless you give it to a dude. No, dude.
Leia's fucking

Speaker 1 Kyla.

Speaker 1 He's a bad mouth chick.

Speaker 1 Chick with a bad attitude. I hear you.
You excited for Red October? What's Red October? Video game? That's good. No, Phils, dude.
Fighting Phils. Fighting Phils.
Well, fill me in.

Speaker 1 I don't watch sports. We got to buy, which could be a problem.
The playoffs start. Oh, they're going to the playoffs? Yeah.
I'll go to those games. Yeah.
Or

Speaker 1 I'm going to go Monday.

Speaker 1 Jesus, it's October.

Speaker 1 I'm thinking this is months away. No, it's September.
You almost have it. It is October next week.
No, it's October tomorrow. Yeah, I guess tomorrow.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 Dude.

Speaker 1 This is a crazy podcast. We're just

Speaker 1 a regular conversation. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you want to get onto a specific topic? No, I don't give a fuck at all. I feel like this is good.
I like Star Wars. I love watching.
I've been watching. Everybody loves Raymond.
Okay.

Speaker 1 This show is good, dude. Dude, I started watching it recently, too.

Speaker 1 Airtight. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Airtight, man. That's great.
Every episode, I'm like, it was a beat, dude. How cool is Ray Romano? He's awesome.
He's like the coolest. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Whenever he comes to the cellar, it's like, God damn. Yeah.
It's just a fucking cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He's sitting there.
He's watching sports. He's like, who you got on this? You got the over, the under.
I'm like, that's awesome. That's awesome.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 I'm talking about a dude that got better looking in his like 60s.

Speaker 1 I never thought of that. Yeah, he's like.
I didn't sexualize him when I saw that.

Speaker 1 I sexualize everybody. That's fair.

Speaker 1 That's why you're JT, dude. That's why you got that Timberlake in your dude.
You drive him the moose.

Speaker 1 Timberlake the moose, dude. You're salacious crumb.

Speaker 1 It's the crumbless. I'm the fucking vile horrendous crumb, dude.
The vile horrendous, salacious crumb.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but that's nobody has the juice, like United States of America. No.
No.

Speaker 1 It's salacious crumb. Obviously, that's that's good juice.
Right. Vile horrendous, great juice.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No one's just like, I'm going to write this down and send it to the paper and name the country.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 it is fucking wild. I want to find out.
I'd like to find out who this Republicus guy is. I think it is Thomas Paine.
It's just pure speculation because it was just a humble man, dude.

Speaker 1 That's why he's Republicus.

Speaker 1 He's going, I don't need any glory for this. This is for the fucking Republic.
Yeah, but wait, how did he get in the paper? Oh, because Thomas Paine.

Speaker 1 What other things from the doc can you reveal?

Speaker 1 It's just standard.

Speaker 1 There's nothing too.

Speaker 1 It gets into Benedict Arnold, which is exciting because he was kind of the man

Speaker 1 until he wasn't.

Speaker 1 But he was like a little climber, though. He was good at his job, but he was a climber.
Okay. So anytime he got passed over, he would start bitching.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 But it was stuff I kind of knew already. Like he was the hero at ticonderoga okay so he

Speaker 1 people don't know like people

Speaker 1 yes

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 1 he uh

Speaker 1 he was like a war hero he was like a big deal before he switched before he switched sides what was his official turncoat moment uh i'm not sure i think he sold

Speaker 1 or or gave British intel on how to get past West Point the fort. I think he gave the fort up.
I could be wrong. Wow.

Speaker 1 I haven't got that far, but I remember in, I read the book, Lafayette, who was the man too.

Speaker 1 He was like, that was kind of the only time he ever saw George Washington break down because Washington liked this guy. Wow.
And when he got to West Point and they were like, Arnold's gone.

Speaker 1 He was just like, oh, he started sobbing. He was like, no.

Speaker 1 My boy. Something like that.
That's the story I took from it. Did you ever eat at that restaurant in New York where Washington took his men men before the Battle of Valley Forge? No.
It's in Phi Dye.

Speaker 1 You know that area of Phi Dye where it's like the Cobblestone Street and there's all the bars? It's right down there. It's a steakhouse.
Yeah. Yeah, and he took his...
Isn't that, it's so wild. Like,

Speaker 1 yeah, they were like, they were treating it like they were about to shoot a movie or something. Like, it was this big dinner.

Speaker 1 They all get fucking cocked up, and then they're like, all right, we got to go fight tomorrow. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was like, yeah, this weird situation. They were drinking.
They were drinking back then. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 He made sure his boys all got whiskey and rum. Yeah, well, it was rum, and then everybody got a cup of their, their rations where you got a cup of whiskey every day, every soldier.
Wow.

Speaker 1 And then he was like, if the rations were low, we'll, or rum at first, and then we'll switch to whiskey if we run out of rum. So the boys were a little,

Speaker 1 they were loose, dude. It was for freedom.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And a couple brewskies before you go shoot some red coats.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you have to be. Also, you know, you know what fired me up?

Speaker 1 There's a part where, so obviously the revolution starts in Massachusetts, and then they're trying to rally the rest of the colonies to be like, help us out.

Speaker 1 And then so like Virginia, that's why they get Washington because

Speaker 1 he was a Virginian. So they want to bring the whole, all the colonies in.
But then when Pennsylvania and like South Carolina and North Carolina start joining in, and then it's just such a

Speaker 1 like it was it was a true melting pot. You know what I mean? But it's talking about how like just frontiersmen from Pennsylvania.
Started rolling in and hanging out with all these New England pussies.

Speaker 1 Right. It's like, damn, that's pretty sick.
Yeah. And they were like, these guys are a problem.

Speaker 1 They were like, like, the British were like, oh, fuck. They got the retarded guys.
PA was always a problem. PA was a problem.

Speaker 1 Anybody that was like out,

Speaker 1 Appalachia was where the country stopped. Okay.
Like, past that was like native land. And there were people out there fighting.
So these guys had been fighting for 40 years.

Speaker 1 See, this is the shit I wish. I wish.

Speaker 1 And retain.

Speaker 1 It's impressive to me that you're just trappers and shit. And like survivalists, so they knew how to live on the land, like with no food and shit.
Right.

Speaker 1 So all of a sudden, you got all these like freaks coming out of the woods.

Speaker 1 And you're just some fucking queer from fucking London. I have a real, this is a serious question.

Speaker 1 From watching all that stuff and whatever, do you feel like you have like some working knowledge of survival skills? Oh my God, no. If you got trapped in the woods.

Speaker 1 I struggle with scrambled eggs.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you, you got to get a coffee maker. Somebody who's like, if somebody was like, make me pancakes, I'd be like, whoo.

Speaker 1 You could get me instant pancake mix and everything that I need. And I'd be like, oh, this is going to be tough.
Yeah, yeah. I have no survival skills.
Pancakes are tough. I could teach you.

Speaker 1 Pancakes are tough. But they're tough.
You know the trick to flipping a pancake? What is it?

Speaker 1 When the top part is all bubbled, when you see like all the little holes in it, that's when you know it's ready to work. You can keep that in mind.
Yeah. But pancakes are tough.

Speaker 1 I like a little raw pancake. Dude, a little cakey pancake.
I don't mind a little batter in there. That's gross.
I know it's gross. I ain't afraid to admit that.

Speaker 1 That's really gross. Shut the fuck up, Joe.
That's not shit.

Speaker 1 I think you can get salmonella like that. I don't give a fuck about salmonella.

Speaker 1 I'll never get salmonella.

Speaker 1 The 22

Speaker 1 never kills salmonella.

Speaker 1 Drowned in 22. Dude, I'm on a Revolutionary War fucking diet, dude.

Speaker 1 Glass of whiskey, eat a couple fucking lemons. Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 1 Do whatever I can get my hands on, dude. I was talking to McCann, James McCann, about the road and just hating the road.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, it was funny. I talked to him about it.

Speaker 2 He said, I don't know how you've been doing it like this.

Speaker 1 I was like,

Speaker 1 he goes, you take Shane. He's got his routine.
He gets up. He has his 20 beers.
He does the show.

Speaker 1 That's how you do it, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Star bleasies.

Speaker 1 Look at this fucking thing that Le Maire got.

Speaker 1 Of course.

Speaker 1 Thanks, Gardines. It's going to be good, good, dude.
You can take it. I mean, if you want, you can swig it.
Nice immunity defense drink.

Speaker 1 Doesn't hurt. Doesn't hurt.

Speaker 1 Look at this abomination.

Speaker 1 This is good. Look at that, dude.
This is good.

Speaker 1 This is good stuff. Yeah, he doesn't drink coffee.
He drinks, you give him lemonade and everything. He sure does every morning.
What? And then he runs around. And then he runs around.

Speaker 1 It's coconut milk. It's strawberry milk.
He gets the zoomies after that. Strawberry coconut milk.
I have to yell at him to get off the couch.

Speaker 1 You're not supposed to be up there, but that's all right.

Speaker 1 Dude, I met Sarah Palinal. And Matt's away, you can lay on the couch.
Dude, I met Sarah Palin. She was fucking cool.
I'm sure. Yeah, she was cool as hell.
She's still hot?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 She's just older now, you know? Yeah. I like that shit.

Speaker 1 I would.

Speaker 1 Respectfully. Yeah.
Yeah. Very much respectfully.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she was banging, dude. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Those McCain years? Yeah.

Speaker 1 She was so high. Banging, dude.
Yeah. And she kind of blew it, right?

Speaker 1 By talking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she fucked it up real bad. I think she kind of blew it a little.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. The Republicans were like, we need a female vice president.
Dude,

Speaker 1 by the end of that election, McCain was like...

Speaker 1 Like he was just like,

Speaker 1 you could see. He was at fucking JT Realmuto when that.
You ever see that when that fat pitcher runs out of the bullpen? It's fucking incredible. And then the catcher for the Phillies sees it.

Speaker 1 So this big, he's not that fat. He's like the chubby guy, comes sprinting out of the bullpen.
And then the camera cussed the catcher who's standing there and he just goes.

Speaker 1 And the guy's gassed. He's out of breath at the mound.

Speaker 1 He can't catch his breath.

Speaker 1 He gives up a homer and they fucking get him off the field.

Speaker 1 Dude, what's the clip?

Speaker 1 Where the guys are in the pen.

Speaker 1 And they're yelling at the Empire's call.

Speaker 1 And the coach is just going, he's a cup. Oh, I never saw this.
I like that.

Speaker 1 He's doing the symbol.

Speaker 1 He's a cunt. He's screaming it, dude.
It's from like the 80s, early 90s. I'm like,

Speaker 1 a TV camera caught that.

Speaker 1 Like, people didn't have iPhones. There was some camera guy recording it.

Speaker 1 It would soak, dude, baseball. When they spazz, it's the best.

Speaker 1 Who is it? Is it Tommy Lasorda with the best whatever? When he's like, my ass is in the jackpot if I don't get you out of here, Tommy.

Speaker 1 Tommy, you know my ass is in the the jackpot right now

Speaker 1 wait i thought you were going to talk about the radio interview which

Speaker 1 uh

Speaker 1 where they're like they said you might it's the sort of it's after a game dude it's on a.m.

Speaker 1 radio so it's going out live they're interviewing him after a game clearly they must have lost he's in a mood and they go we heard you were going to trade so-and-so for bobby baklava or something and he goes he goes let me tell you something about that cocksucker bobby baklava couldn't hit fucking water if he fell out of a fucking boat.

Speaker 1 I'm going to bring you on my fucking tenants. Be out of your fucking mind.
Like, dude, it's, he just loses it, dude. Loses it.
Yeah, baseball spasms are nuts. They're the best.

Speaker 1 They lose their mind more than football.

Speaker 1 The best spazzes are baseball and then Bobby Knight basketball spasms. Bobby Knight basketball car just tossing a chair across the court

Speaker 1 hilarious.

Speaker 1 Choking a player. White guy.
It's basically white boy spazzes.

Speaker 1 True white boy rage spazz. Did you ever see the Jim Belushi when he was on SNL, when he was a cast member?

Speaker 1 It's from the 80s when he's doing the chess coach, but he's doing it like Bobby Knight, basketball chess coach. That's great.
And he's kicking the chairs. He's like, come on.

Speaker 1 You call that a rook-de-ball.

Speaker 1 That's awesome.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's really funny. Yeah, Bobby was good.
I think he choked a player to practice,

Speaker 1 which is great.

Speaker 1 You can't choke players anymore, dude.

Speaker 1 We couldn't even choke players back then.

Speaker 1 They were really upset about it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Bobby Knights things,

Speaker 1 the things where he's in the press con because he hates reporters so much. There's one where a lady asks him a question, he goes, Well, let me tell you something.

Speaker 1 And I love speaking to a person whose job is one step below prostitution.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it's fire at these people. That's nice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's the best. I think, yeah,

Speaker 1 baseball has number one spazzes. Yeah, why is that? It's such a soothing game, and it's like

Speaker 1 out of nowhere. A guy's fucking kicking dirt at somebody.

Speaker 1 Tommy, my ass is in a jackpot. You know, I gotta fucking do this.

Speaker 1 Chest to chest every time they yell. Umpire mascara is always great.
It's fucking insane, dude.

Speaker 1 It's out of nowhere.

Speaker 1 I guess you're out there for fucking 180 games.

Speaker 1 You've been gone from home for fucking six months. It's August.
Yeah. Yeah, you're sweating your ass off.
You're a double header in Cincinnati. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're sweating your ass off. Some umps just fucking you.

Speaker 1 I got to be honest. I don't know that I've ever seen a football spaz.
There's been some good ones. They've happened, I'm sure.
No, there's been some good ones.

Speaker 1 There's a you get a good spaz when the uh when the reporter interviews the coach right before halftime. You know, you know how they do that? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like when the team's head of the locker room, like, what difference, what changes do you have to make on offense to get this thing going?

Speaker 1 The guy's just like, the players are out there trying their fucking hardest and the coaches are fucking it up. It just keeps running.
Like, oh, shit.

Speaker 1 This is an ad by better help. Oh, yeah.
To help with the better.

Speaker 1 Yes. October isn't just for sweet treats and scares.
I like, this is good writing. It's also a good time to appreciate therapists who have helped you and a loved one.

Speaker 1 Because if you don't know already, October 10th is World Mental Health Day.

Speaker 1 Did you know that? I did not. All right.
If you feel comfortable, give a huge thanks to a current or past therapist. How did they help you?

Speaker 1 Maybe set you in a new direction, taught you how to celebrate small wins, or provide a safe space for you to cry and unload.

Speaker 1 I've found a couple safe spaces to unload.

Speaker 1 One time I thought I had a safe space to unload, I was on this couch, and somebody walked right in. Who?

Speaker 1 My girlfriend. I had to skedaddle because I was trying to unload on the couch.
What I wanted to know. She could have hopped in.
Well, I was crying also. I was crying and unloading.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Sometimes a good person will help you cry and unload. I'd like to point out that for me, every day is mental health day.
That's good. Yeah.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 LeMaire, can you give us a time that somebody taught you how to celebrate small wins and provide a safe space for you to cry and unload?

Speaker 1 Dude,

Speaker 1 I know. Yeah, you're about to.
I don't share.

Speaker 1 This is for better health.

Speaker 1 But the better health. Well.

Speaker 1 The dead girlfriend, she told me that every time you see somebody you don't know who's like nice, you got to go.

Speaker 1 You got to mention it. That's it.
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Speaker 1 That's betterhelp.com slash MSSP.

Speaker 1 Hey, folks. Thanks for having.

Speaker 1 You got it. Listen, buddy.
That's good. Thanks for having me on the show.
No, thanks for doing it, man. I know it was short notice, and that's a tough seat to fill.
Yeah, I know.

Speaker 1 McCusker is a good man, one of the best. Funny man, one of the best.
But thank you for having me. I got the San Francisco punch line all weekend.
Two shows Friday, two shows Saturday. Come on out.

Speaker 1 Let's have some fun.

Speaker 1 And my special, I never promised you a Rose Garden is on my YouTube, which is at Joe DeRosa Comedy. Please go check that out if you haven't yet.
And smash that subscribe button.

Speaker 1 Don't subscribe. Also,

Speaker 1 that

Speaker 1 you remember we met at a punch line? Well, no, we didn't meet there. I opened for you at the Philadelphia punch line and a guy spit on you in the front row.
Anyway, what were you doing?

Speaker 1 We talked about it when I was

Speaker 1 last time you were here. I think

Speaker 1 hello, everybody. It's me, LaBerry.
Optimal Noctus on October 7th. And then I'm going to be in Knoxville, Tennessee, October 16th.
And then also Des Moines, Iowa, October 23rd and 24th.

Speaker 1 Please come hang out. Yeah, that's good stuff.
Oh, yeah. You know what? Also, sorry, one other plug, because this is hometown.
Phoenixville, Pennsylvania.

Speaker 1 I'm headlining the Colonial Theater on Bridge Street December 20th for

Speaker 1 home for the holidays, it's called. Big Christmas.
Go to ShaneMgillis.com. I'm going to do Baltimore, Vegas, San Francisco, Sacramento, Tucson, Phoenix, Boise, Portland, and then Madison, Squiggaden.

Speaker 1 Fuck you, Nate. Let's get back to the show.

Speaker 1 Oh, man.

Speaker 1 That's awesome. I don't watch sports at all, but I will frequently look up sports spaz, sports meltdown.
Like,

Speaker 1 nothing like a good. Oh, wait, we talked about this last time.
Nothing like a good meltdown on camera.

Speaker 1 We talked about comedy ones last time. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah. You ever watch like Super Smash Brothers, like professional players' meltdowns? I mean, a gamer meltdown must be number one.

Speaker 1 Dude, it's crazy. Yeah.
They go nuts. Like, one guy.
No, that was a few. Yeah, those are shooters, bro.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Those are, yeah, they're a couple pills away from pulling a trigger on someone.

Speaker 1 Like, I need this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, 12-year-old kid smashing his teeth.

Speaker 1 Soda hit the fucking meltdown on you, dude. That's how we started talking about this last time.

Speaker 1 It's literally my favorite thing.

Speaker 1 You pulled out. I started trying to pull it out.

Speaker 1 I don't like bringing it up because Danny, I mean, I bring it up constantly, but. Danny, we love you.
But yeah. Dan's the best.
I got Dan so mad when they were playing. And

Speaker 1 you didn't understand the context. I know.
We just got the game. It's me and him.
It's our favorite thing. Like, I used to go to his house and we played together.
We had a dynasty.

Speaker 1 I ran offense, he ran defense.

Speaker 1 It was a glorious time.

Speaker 1 And then the game reboots and we get it back for the first time in 10 years.

Speaker 1 So he comes to Philly to play it with me.

Speaker 1 And I beat him. And you guys did like a gig.
It was like, yeah, it was for EA Sports. I streamed it.
And it was like,

Speaker 1 I beat him the first couple, I was just killing him. And then the one game he was winning,

Speaker 1 the salacious crumb,

Speaker 1 my minion, comes in and starts doing my bidding.

Speaker 1 Just sat on the couch next to me and was like, yeah, Dan.

Speaker 1 I was like, yeah, of course you guys can fucking, you guys are holding on to every block. My guys can't block for shit.

Speaker 1 And you were like, yeah, it does seem like the guys on Dan's team are better at blocking. And he was just like, shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 And then he blew a 14 or 17 point lead and missed an extra point and lost. Yeah.
Just bad. And I said something.
He went like this. He went, DeRosa.

Speaker 1 I was like, yo, dude. Yo, yo, yo, dude.

Speaker 1 He's in number one video game spaz. Yeah, he punches the table, spazzes through

Speaker 1 the shit. Dude, I remember we were watching the Niners and the Eagles play.
Oh, this is so funny at Jay's house. No, this isn't the

Speaker 1 other one. It's not the one where he texted me and said, if I was in the room with you right now, I'd punch you in the face.

Speaker 1 Because it was the Niners.

Speaker 1 Dude, you don't understand sports, dude.

Speaker 1 The Niners are losing in the NFC championship to the Eagles, and this cocksucker's in the group techs: like, yeah, the Niners look like shit.

Speaker 1 It was when the Niners started the fight on the field.

Speaker 1 And I go, I go, I remember when this was a game, a bunch of bums out on this field today. And Dan was like, if I was in the room with you, I'd punch you in the face.

Speaker 1 You're a little girl.

Speaker 1 Couldn't agree more with Dan.

Speaker 1 If Nodame was losing a game and one of my friends that doesn't watch sports was like, they suck. They're assholes.

Speaker 1 Jay was cracking up because it was pro easy.

Speaker 1 No, one time we were out, we were the three of us were watching. It was me, Jay, and Soder at Jay's house in New York, and um,

Speaker 1 the Niners were losing, and Dan was all like,

Speaker 1 Okay, okay, man, okay, okay, all we do is we got to get it back, we got to run it up the field, you know, like

Speaker 1 I go, it's not gonna happen, Dan.

Speaker 1 They're not good enough,

Speaker 1 you're the crumb, man. dude.
You're the salacious. That would fucking kill me.
Yeah, I'd be furious.

Speaker 1 I can tell I would get a dark red face immediately. If you said that, I would feel my cheeks get red and I'd be like,

Speaker 1 I don't even care.

Speaker 1 I'd give it about five seconds. I go, dude, shut the fuck up.

Speaker 1 Listen, I swear to God, that's how I get when somebody says, like,

Speaker 1 you know, if somebody's like,

Speaker 1 I remember I got that mad at Bill because Burr said the Empire Strikes Back and Star Wars don't hold up his movies. And I got as mad as you're talking at him about that.

Speaker 1 And I was like, you know what the fuck you're talking about, dude? You don't, you think, oh, you fucking saw it, too? Shut the fuck up, dude. You know, I like literally get that.

Speaker 1 Which one's the Empire Strike Back? Is that the second one? That's the second. When Han gets frozen.
That's on hot. That's tough.
That's tough. That's a good one.
Yeah. Empire Rift.

Speaker 1 Arguably number one. It ended up.
That's the best one. Almost inarguably number one.
Ended hands down's the best one.

Speaker 1 And I, and I'm.

Speaker 1 might have been best. Because what do they do? They just fucking play to the sequel.
Wait, what happened? At the end of the second Star Wars, it just plays to the sequel.

Speaker 1 What do you mean, plays to the sequel? Like, it just ends. It's like a cliffhanger.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 That's awesome, though. That's gay.
Dude, I saw that movie in the theater as a kid. That was torturous, dude.
Was that 75? No, 80.

Speaker 1 It came out in 80, and then I think we saw like a re, you know, when I was like five, I think. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I was old enough to understand because I watched Star Wars on TV and like, dude, like that cliffhanger, it was, it was torturous. I was like, Lord of the Rings got me.
I saw the first one.

Speaker 1 They just walked the whole time and it fucking ended. I was like, yeah.
It was three hours.

Speaker 1 The next one's in fucking three years.

Speaker 1 Dude, I never read it. It was the next year's.
Yeah. I knew, I read The Hobbit, but I never read The Lord of the Rings.

Speaker 1 I thought the first book, they get to Mordor and they end it. And then the second movie was a different story.
And I was like, wait, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 Like, that realization of there's two more movies of them going to Mordor. And

Speaker 1 I was like, I don't know if I got this in. It's kind of how I felt about Dune 1.

Speaker 1 It wasn't for me. Dune ended, and I was like, oh,

Speaker 1 you killed, like, one guy.

Speaker 1 Dune's all right, though. Dune 2 picks up.

Speaker 1 I didn't like the first one. I wasn't feeling the first one.
Are you excited to see

Speaker 1 that new Leonardo movie? It looks pretty good. The Libs are loving it, so I'm sure you're going to fucking jack off to it.

Speaker 1 I was really excited about it, and I hope it's good, but so far, everyone that has been posting about it or hyped about it has been

Speaker 1 a die-hard lib. I agree that it's this

Speaker 1 when it gets rah-rod by a certain

Speaker 1 percentage.

Speaker 2 That's how movies get ruined.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like that's why I went and saw a Black Panther, and I was like, this fucking blows, dude. Everyone's just jacking off to it.
It's Black James Bond. What is? Black Panther.

Speaker 1 It's just Black James Bond the the whole time. No, it's not.
How the fuck is it James Bond?

Speaker 1 He goes to Q, his sister. He gets all the tech, and then he goes solve the mysteries.

Speaker 1 All right. I never thought of it like that.
Yeah, it's just Black Superman.

Speaker 1 It's cool.

Speaker 1 Of course, you didn't. I think it's more like Black Batman.

Speaker 1 No, Batman stinks.

Speaker 1 What the fuck are you talking about, Batman fucking sucks, dude? What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 Dude, I'm a Superman man. Superman rules.

Speaker 1 You guys love Superman over there? Superman rule? No, no, no. Batman's the king.
What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 He didn't say that. He said that.
Batman ruined society. Batman sucks.
Superman, we need more Superman. Wait, what do you mean, Batman ruined society?

Speaker 1 Dude, as soon as Batman Begins came out, everybody started being all like... dark and anti-fucking moral.
They're like, I'm going to do what I need to do to get where I need to be.

Speaker 1 But there's nobody doing anything. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm talking about morality, bro.

Speaker 1 You think Batman Begins ruins society? Batman Begins Begins started like amorality culturally. How? I don't know, dude.
Something about 2005, and Batman doesn't, Batman isn't caring. He doesn't care.

Speaker 1 He started the billionaire worship culture, actually. That's a lot.

Speaker 1 Batman doesn't give a fuck. Bro, he sacrifices himself, dude.
He doesn't sacrifice the most.

Speaker 1 He cares the most. Batman is selfish.
Batman's selfish, and he's a narcissist. No, he's not out standing in front of everyone flying, going, oh, I'm Superman.
No, dude, he keeps it.

Speaker 1 Superman doesn't fly. Superman's among the people.
He lives with the people. He doesn't fly.
Superman, I'm sorry. Superman isn't flying around willy-nilly.

Speaker 1 He's flying through buildings like 9-11 every day. He's not flying through buildings.
There's so many 9-11s because of the future. The real Superman doesn't fly through buildings.

Speaker 1 That's just the. I just watched the

Speaker 1 Pete Holmes did Batman Fires the Justice League videos. Those are funny.
They are. The Superman one where he goes, let's have a toast.
He pulls up these glasses and they're green.

Speaker 1 These wouldn't have to be kryptonite ice cubes. Would they be Batman? He goes, no, it's Asian green tea.

Speaker 1 He's like, why don't you take a sip first? He just goes,

Speaker 1 Batmans are funny as fuck. They're really funny.

Speaker 1 Lemaire,

Speaker 1 I don't know what you're talking about right now. Batman is the most selfless man on earth.

Speaker 1 He doesn't live a Playboy billionaire life. He doesn't enjoy his life because he's there for Gotham.
He's given given himself to the city.

Speaker 1 Gotham, dude. I don't think so.
At the end of the third one, he almost kills himself to save the entire city.

Speaker 1 The city will be better without Batman. Only reason the Evelyn villains exist is because of Batman.
I never realized, by the way, you guys know Dark Knight Returns. Or rises, I mean.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I remember when I first saw it, everybody said when Alfred sees him in the restaurant at the end. In Italy.

Speaker 1 Do you remember Alfred goes, I have this fantasy where I see you? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I remember when I saw the movie, everybody was like, So, wait, does Alfred really see him, or is that just like he hopes that he will one day?

Speaker 1 And I was always like, Well, I guess it's up for interpretation.

Speaker 1 But then I watched it again recently, and I never caught the part where at the very end, Morgan Freeman goes, The autopilot doesn't work on this. And they go, Yes, it does.

Speaker 1 It was fixed by Bruce Wayne. And I was like, Oh, he autopiloted the ship and got out.
Yeah, I never caught that. I never caught that part.
You should see Morgan Freeman's Twitter.

Speaker 1 Why? What's on it?

Speaker 1 It's just nuts. Why? What's he saying? No, there's just somebody named Morgan J.
Freeman that just is like ultra-liberal. And for like two years, I thought it was Morgan Freeman.

Speaker 1 I was like, this guy's a fucking asshole.

Speaker 1 I was like, fuck Morgan Freeman.

Speaker 1 What's he saying? It's just

Speaker 1 a freaking freaking freaking Morgan Freeman. Yeah, it's just a guy's name is Morgan J.
Freeman. But it's not like, he's not faking.
I was like, what the fuck is Morgan Freeman talking about?

Speaker 1 Did you ever read the

Speaker 1 look on the James Woods Twitter? Yeah, I'll peep some James Woods. He goes hard.

Speaker 1 He's fired up. They'll be like, Yeah, I guess cops are all bad.
You fat pig, sharp thing.

Speaker 1 He goes hard there. James Woods is fired up.
Jesus Christ, man.

Speaker 1 There are Batmans, dude.

Speaker 1 James Woods. We need somebody, dude.
He's the fucking Cape Crusader. We need him, night.
We need him in the shadows. Man, you know what? Maybe I am racist.

Speaker 1 Yes, dude. I wasn't gonna say it.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ, man.

Speaker 1 I'm not for

Speaker 1 did you like the new Superman movie? Yeah,

Speaker 1 it was fun. It was nice.

Speaker 1 Superman was Superman.

Speaker 1 Except for the fact that he gets beat up in every scene. Because here's the thing: he doesn't know who's in the suit.
Superman has to temporarily beat him up. Beat up everybody not in the suit.

Speaker 1 The lizard beats him up. The fucking

Speaker 1 dog saves him like eight times. Yeah.
he got beat up by a fucking lizard. He got beat up.
No, no. So it's a giant like Godzilla thing.
Superman kills that thing. He gets beaten by a lizard.

Speaker 1 He gets knocked around. He kills that thing.
He got to get knocked around a little. Superman gets knocked around, but

Speaker 1 he doesn't even kill that thing without exploding it. He knocks it unconscious.
No name looking. It's Arkansas.

Speaker 1 No name looking. I'm sorry.
It's your partner. No dame fucked up Arkansas so bad they destroyed the program.
Everyone got fired. Greyle? Yeah.
No dame went crazy on him. Nice.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Hey, how was that show? With the show.

Speaker 1 it was uh it was not ideal for stand-up but it was uh it was a dream come true it's kind of the

Speaker 1 probably the coolest thing i've ever done how many people it's probably like 85 000 jesus christ not ideal for stand-up

Speaker 1 what does a laugh sound like in a in an environment like that well i didn't run into too many laughs

Speaker 1 a lot of families

Speaker 1 a lot of people that were very confused going who the fuck is this guy When's he going to start playing whatever instrument he's supposed to play?

Speaker 1 He's been walking around talking for three years. They're talking about a Down syndrome coffee shop.

Speaker 1 And jacking off.

Speaker 1 What the fuck?

Speaker 1 That's so fucking funny, man. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Shout out to them for letting me do that. The university.

Speaker 1 I didn't know what I was going to say, but I'm sure they got some letters since then. And

Speaker 1 they haven't said anything to me. So that's nice.
But it was more his, so you feel it was more his crowd than your crowd. It was.
I had a lot of people there for sure. Good.

Speaker 1 I had a lot. Like a lot of people were really, it was cool.
Good. It was cool.
But there were definitely people there that had no idea who I was and did not see the billing

Speaker 1 or did see the billing and were like, this must be a country singer that I've never heard of.

Speaker 1 And we're just like, your name does sound like a country singer. He's just,

Speaker 1 he's just talking for the first 10. We'll pick up something.
He's probably really good.

Speaker 1 This guy's funny for a musician.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You have have a country singer's name shane gillis sounds like a country singer i think you can do that with any name joe de rosa doesn't it sounds like ponderosa it sounds exactly like a western

Speaker 1 hey folks i'm joe de rosa doesn't have the same ring it does you got a country that's what you need to get into country instead of hip-hop like have you thought of the bars yet because i'm gonna need those before the end of this

Speaker 1 desperately sometimes i would write lyrics

Speaker 1 uh like in my head for rappers i was a fan of all right, give me an example. So, like, I wrote a two-short lyric in my head once.

Speaker 1 I always wanted to hear two-short go, because the one thing I learned about being a Mac, treat a girl bad, the dumb bitch comes back. That was my two-short lyric that I wrote.
It's pretty good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You could hear Two Short saying it, couldn't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's nothing to be ashamed of there.
Yeah. Nate's fucking feeling it.

Speaker 1 Not in a bad way, but it was way better than I thought it was going to be. It was fun.
Yeah, it was definitely not

Speaker 1 great, but it was also

Speaker 1 two-shirts. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I thought it was going to be real bad. I thought you were possessed by Two-Show for a second.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I actually felt like my T-shirt impression wasn't that bad for a first attempt. No, it was good.
I mean, you've been thinking about it for 30 years. 30 stuff

Speaker 1 just bouncing around there. You finally let it out.
You can move on. About 30.

Speaker 1 Do you have another one?

Speaker 1 Can you be like a Nas?

Speaker 1 Sometimes I write little raps in my head about comedians I hate. I'm like, oh, that would be fun.
I should do a rap song about comedians and not look like an idiot.

Speaker 1 There's no way to do it and not look like an idiot.

Speaker 1 Absolute idiot. Some decent ones.
Whatever.

Speaker 1 Just come out and just

Speaker 1 rip everybody.

Speaker 1 Crackamigo would bury you, dude. You can't step into his lane.

Speaker 1 Crack goes hard. Sag man.
Cracko's real hard. Sagalo's good, too.
Sagalo is very good. Yeah.
Sagalo sounds like a rapper you would like. Sagalo sounds very good.
And it's serious rap. It's not funny.

Speaker 1 Yeah. yeah he's good he's good you ever think of any uh good raps no I'm not a rapper

Speaker 1 that's my trade though outside of stand-up what would you do creatively to express your uh

Speaker 1 your inner darkness

Speaker 1 it'd probably be in a card shop car shop playing a Yu-Gi-Oh or some

Speaker 1 card shop yeah playing video games in an arcade no no i meant creatively oh card shop what

Speaker 1 card shop

Speaker 1 I thought you were making a card shop.

Speaker 1 Ramire, if you weren't so laid back, I would think you were on Coke right now. The shit you're talking about is insane.
Yeah, this is. You're like, Pattern McGinn's Roman Society.

Speaker 1 I would work at a card shop. I stand on that.
That's a good idea. Maybe America Vespucci was Voltaire.

Speaker 1 Dude, that was good, too.

Speaker 1 That was good, too. It's a reach.
You say a sentence, and then everyone has to wait. and try to figure out what you meant and then ask you and go,

Speaker 1 where did that come from? What did you mean by that i don't know just tapped into my smartness

Speaker 1 just tapped into my smartness you're a fucking child

Speaker 1 i don't mean to be that mean christ just having fun we are having fun and you're you're you're this episode is brought to you by rocket money Do you ever find yourself spending money on something totally insane slash overspending by accident?

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Dear friend.

Speaker 1 Dude, the Star Wars trilogy, the second one, episode 1, 2, and 3, better set of movies than the first, 4, 5, 6. I'll stand on that.
You think the prequels are better than the original?

Speaker 1 Like as a set of movies, like all together.

Speaker 1 No. Dude.
I mean, I like the prequels, but no. As soon as Palpatine goes execute Order 66, it makes all the other movies worth it.

Speaker 1 Well, no, that Sith is a. I love Sith.
Sith is all. Sith is in my top three, but I never gave Clone Wars a real chance.
Attack of the Clones? Yeah, that's what I mean.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Attack of the Clones. Attack of the Clones is

Speaker 1 really cool at times, but he went so hog wild with the CGI shit.

Speaker 1 It's a lot. Like that that droid factory sequence, it's a little too much.

Speaker 1 But hey, the whole end, like, once they get to that arena, and like, like, uh, Padme and Obi-Wan and Attakin have to fight those beasts,

Speaker 1 and then the Jedi come, and like, it's the battle, and then, like, and then they fight Dooku and Yoda comes out. Like, oh, that shit's awesome, man.

Speaker 1 Oh, that shit's awesome. And then Sidious shows up at the very end.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's awesome. But Sith rips.

Speaker 1 Don't kill me, Veda.

Speaker 1 This is all good stuff. Sith fucking rips.
And Force Awakens rips, and then they suck after that. Yeah.
I haven't seen any of a newer awakening. Force Awakens gave me real hope.
Me too. A new hope.

Speaker 1 Yeah, me too. I thought this is it.

Speaker 1 And then the liberals struck back.

Speaker 1 Man, the liberals struck back. They said, you can't have Star Wars.
I said, you can take anything you want, but don't take Star Wars.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but then the liberals got their greedy paws on my Star Wars. Disney snatched it back.
Disney's Disney. Disney's liberal Star Wars.

Speaker 1 They're so

Speaker 1 they ruined it. They were like, The acolyte is going to change everything.
We believe in the show more than anything. We've put the most money into it.
Dude, it got trashed.

Speaker 1 They pulled all the acolyte merch out of the store. They were just

Speaker 1 the one where there was like all the chicken.

Speaker 1 it's for the boys dude star wars is for the boys here's the thing make it all girl jedi show just make it good make it awesome where you're like this is great they didn't it sucked it sucked don't start they did that whole lesbian planet

Speaker 1 hey

Speaker 1 doing the pod right now here you're on

Speaker 1 my ears must have been burning bro how do i know uh it's good so far it's me lemaire and deroso we're kind of just talking about stuff we saw

Speaker 1 A lot of Star Wars talk. Who's that? It's McCusker.
Nice. Oh, nice.
DeRosa's in your chair right now. He says it's his chair now.

Speaker 4 Bro,

Speaker 4 I advocate and throw into him immediately.

Speaker 1 McCusker, I was confused. When Shane texted me, I thought he was saying you needed a partner.
And I was like, okay,

Speaker 1 where are we recording then? He's like, my house. I was like,

Speaker 1 okay.

Speaker 1 Where are you going to be? He's like, my house. I was like,

Speaker 1 See, that's what I'm working with.

Speaker 1 These types of stories is what I've been working with.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's tough. I'm trying, dude.
I'm trying. You would have been pumped.
I had some history stuff early. They walked all over it with

Speaker 1 they went straight to Batman versus Superman, Star Wars.

Speaker 1 Not true. We're going to talk about their favorite toys coming up here in a second.
Not true. Both of them are figurine collectors.
Matt, you know, he kept saying

Speaker 1 he kept going.

Speaker 1 I don't even know why I have Matt here.

Speaker 1 They're going to come together. Yeah, these dudes.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Arab and black autism are uniting.

Speaker 1 Matt,

Speaker 1 he keeps saying the Cusker Who. I don't know why I bother doing this with him.

Speaker 1 He's talking a lot of shit, dude. Where are you at, Matt?

Speaker 4 I'm in New York. I just got

Speaker 4 my little

Speaker 4 podcast whirlwind tour.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's coming out. I'm very excited for October 7th.

Speaker 4 Dude, me too, man. Thank you.

Speaker 1 All of our plans are going to come together. Oh, yeah.
Finally, dude. Wait, it comes out on October October 7th? Yeah,

Speaker 1 Matt Special comes out October 7th.

Speaker 1 Holy shit. It's actually, I mean, it's at least, yeah, it's memorable.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's easy, exactly. You're not going to forget.
Oh, yeah, yeah, I remember that thing. That's that's where that comes out perfect.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just saw the trailer you posted. It looks wonderful.
I can't wait to see it. I can't wait to see you.

Speaker 4 Dude, I can't wait to see you either.

Speaker 1 All right. I miss you.
I love you.

Speaker 4 Love you guys. Miss you, bro.

Speaker 1 Bye, Matt. I said, I love you.
He said, I love you guys.

Speaker 1 Interesting.

Speaker 1 I felt jealous.

Speaker 1 I felt jealous. I don't know that

Speaker 1 I have gotten it and I love you from you before. You and me say I love you every fucking night, but that was that was a very nice sign-off.
And I kind of want to change our dynamic.

Speaker 1 I want to take some of the

Speaker 1 big changes. I want to take it.
So you've had this question with me before. You go, how come you don't talk to Matt or Soda like that?

Speaker 1 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, because no, no, no, they are not rotten pigs

Speaker 1 all the time. That's not what I was saying.
You go, you don't talk shit to them like you do to me. Yes, because they don't talk shit to me

Speaker 1 like you do to me.

Speaker 1 I don't want war. I've seen war.
But if you want war, so help me, God. Somebody else will be raising your fucking children.

Speaker 1 Hold on. You cut off my nice thing, I was going to say.
What? And I was going to say. It wasn't going to be nice.

Speaker 1 Yes, it was. It was going to be nice.

Speaker 1 I was going to say, I want to start removing some of the acidity from the relationship and start to move towards a more caring, a more endearing, a more loving dynamic. Yeah, what are your proposals?

Speaker 1 What changes are you going to make? What are you offering me other than

Speaker 1 it sounds like you're coming to the table going, Shane, you need to make some changes? No, no, no. Let's be honest.
We both have some heavy lifting to do. But

Speaker 1 I'll start. Okay.
I'll start. Here's how we can start.
Okay. Next time we hang out,

Speaker 1 neither of us criticize the other one. Okay.
Until the other one

Speaker 1 doesn't fit. It's a ceasefire.
And I'm going to go, see you started it all right no ceasefire ceasefire

Speaker 1 but if you're doing something slimy or gay

Speaker 1 i do get to say that that's slimy and gay but hold on a second here's the problem you think everything's slimy and gay so you call out yes you do you call out no so much nate i i don't do that to you

Speaker 1 you don't you don't call me slimy and gay no i call you zesty but that's a fun joke

Speaker 1 you you call me slimy and gay.

Speaker 1 Why are you gay?

Speaker 1 You are slimy.

Speaker 1 Why are you?

Speaker 1 I don't think so.

Speaker 1 You don't really do too many things that I would be like, stop doing that. You don't mean it from the heart.

Speaker 1 I like when you goof off. You hit me with a, I can't believe you're doing this when I'm having fun, but it's because you know it's put me in my head.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean, like, if you were,

Speaker 1 and we can delete this part if we need to. Okay.
But if I saw you sitting at the bar being like, talking to a girl, being like, wow, that's cool body art you have. Look at this, this piece right here.

Speaker 1 I got this, blah, blah, blah. If I'm in the bar and I see you doing that, I'm going to slime you out.
Yeah, but see, you shouldn't do that.

Speaker 1 You got to let your friends work in the way they work. I don't like to see them work that way.
No. How do you like to see your friends work?

Speaker 1 Let a man work.

Speaker 1 Let techniques work. And you have stepped on my techniques at times.
Stepping on your techniques. Oh, my God.
So fun.

Speaker 1 The only times I've been talking to a chick in a bar, and you're visibly mocking me from across the room. Like, visibly.
Like,

Speaker 1 look,

Speaker 1 I'm all for one of the bros getting some pussy.

Speaker 1 But you got to do it the right way. I know how to do it.
You got to. You know how to.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I know how to talk. I know how to talk.
I don't like the.

Speaker 1 You do. You're very good at it.
That's why you're very, that's why you remind me of Timberlake.

Speaker 1 The moose.

Speaker 1 You remind me of the moose, dude.

Speaker 1 Timberlake, the moose. You remind me of Timberlake the moose.
Shout out, Mussolini. Justin Timberlake Mussolini.

Speaker 1 But I guess, yeah, maybe that's on me. Man, all right.
I'll allow. That's what I'm saying.
I think we both got a little heavy lifting to do.

Speaker 1 I think we both so hard not to make fun of a guy that's like

Speaker 1 it depends how you're talking to a girl.

Speaker 1 Brother, if it's like, I see you laying it on thick, dude, I go, what is he doing?

Speaker 1 Play it cool, baby.

Speaker 1 Play it cool, baby.

Speaker 1 This is, listen.

Speaker 1 Listen, I think we both have to remove some judgment of the other man's behaviors. And I think we'll get very far.

Speaker 1 I like where we're at.

Speaker 1 I don't hate it. I like where we're at.
I don't hate it, but I will say this. We've gotten ourselves into a corner of

Speaker 1 it's at a nine and a half from the beginning of that. No, it used to be.
It used to be. It's not.
It's not. It's not anymore.
That's like three years ago.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're right. It's chilled out.
It's chilled out. Yeah, we'd have, every time we'd go out, we'd have to talk on the phone two days later.

Speaker 1 There we go, dude. Yeah, I just, you know,

Speaker 1 fuck off.

Speaker 1 Fuck off, dude.

Speaker 1 You fucking, you had your share of, come on, you know, the,

Speaker 1 you know, just poking, poking from the poking. You're a poker.
You got little brother syndrome. Admit that you're a poker.
You got a lot of little brother in you.

Speaker 1 You got a lot of big brother in you. You poke first.
Sometimes you poke. Sometimes

Speaker 1 I poke first.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you poke first. Admit it.
Sometimes you sit on my head in the living room.

Speaker 1 Just right away.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you, huge moment, huge moment for us. This huge positive.
Huge positive moment. This year,

Speaker 1 when we got a little tense on my birthday, as we did last year on my birthday, you said to me, you go, you get a little sensitive around your birthday, don't you?

Speaker 1 And I was like, yeah, dude, dude, I get tension. Oh, Christ.
You got way too sensitive. That was a huge moment for me.
You were letting me run. Vossman get in your head.
Listen. Vossman was in there.

Speaker 1 Vossman in my head and me wanting to say, Voss, shut the fuck up. That's two different things.
Voss is like a cheese grater after a while. And you're like, bro, shut up, dude.
Yeah, but it's so funny.

Speaker 1 He doesn't say anything mean.

Speaker 1 No. No,

Speaker 1 you're just like, Voss, shut up. Shut up.
Yeah, but he's just having fun. He's talking about Israel for 25 minutes.

Speaker 1 And then he's like... For some reason with him, I don't care.
When he's like, you keep what they're doing now?

Speaker 1 They keep hiding under the schools.

Speaker 1 This is Voss. This is what he did.
When

Speaker 1 we were in Yellow Springs, we went to this comic book, the comic book store where I bought that Boba Fett comic book. Yeah.

Speaker 1 When I first saw it, I was in the store with Voss earlier that day, and he comes up to me and he goes, he goes,

Speaker 1 the number one Superman, the first one, I go, the action comics, number one, where he's like holding the car over his head, and he's like, yeah. He goes,

Speaker 1 that's worth money, right? And I go, yeah, it's considerable money. He goes, I have it.
And I go,

Speaker 1 you have action? You don't have it. And he goes, no, no, no, I swear to God.
He goes, I have it for when when I was, like, my dad gave it to me.

Speaker 1 And he's like, I have it. He goes, and I knew it was probably worth something.
Like, so I kept it in decent shape, but like, I don't know. I just never sold it.
Do you think it's worth anything?

Speaker 1 And I go, yeah, it's probably worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. And he goes, psych.

Speaker 1 He just never had you.

Speaker 1 And I go, I don't give a shit if you don't have a valuable thing.

Speaker 1 Like, what is the joke? I don't even understand what the joke is. Boss Voss man, baby.

Speaker 1 Voss is. That's an example, though, of what he'll do all day.
And you're like,

Speaker 1 shut up.

Speaker 1 I love it. I love it.
I'm bringing him to Vegas. You're not getting one weekend without the Voss man.

Speaker 1 You're not getting one without Voss. Let's go, dude.

Speaker 1 The Voss man's on your ass.

Speaker 1 The Voss man cometh.

Speaker 1 Voss dominates, Dros. Yeah.
Dude, Voss is also bulletproof. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He's bulletproof? Yeah, you can make fun of him all day. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Nothing.

Speaker 1 In one ear, out the other. Just every insult.
He just laughs with you. I love the

Speaker 1 boss, man. I love the boss man.
We'll get you. But you know you're wasting the slot in Vegas with the boss man.
With the soberman? You need to fucking fucking under degenerate into that. No, no.

Speaker 1 I've got a nice thing going on the road. I know.
One degenerate, one soberman. All right, fair enough.
Yeah, I know. Took Tommy and Bobby Kelly.
Yeah, I saw. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I saw you're bringing a Sobey in. You bring the Sobe in.
And Jay's only going to have three beers. Jay's going to bed at 10 p.m.
Yeah, yeah. Jay's going to go play a Steam Deck.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Bobby's going to wear fucking sunglasses, not drink. Yeah.
Yeah, but then you got the Pope. The Pope.
That's like having three out of the Pope Meals.

Speaker 1 The Pope Mobile is flying, dude. The Potemobile?

Speaker 1 He is.

Speaker 1 He's non-stop, dude. That's what it is.
From there on. That's drinking with Pope.
Oh, the Pope mobile tonight, dude.

Speaker 1 He just goes, dude. He brought, so we got off the plane and went to the mothership.
He brought a paper cup with no ice filled to the brim with tequila. Jesus.
It was like a crumbled up cup.

Speaker 1 And he put it on the, no one else was in the bar. So they were like cleaning up.
And he put the paper cup on the bar and went to the bathroom.

Speaker 1 And then he said he walked back in and he heard me being like, well, yeah, he's a fucking alcoholic.

Speaker 1 Wait, was this Saturday night?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We got in at like, we got in at like one. We just missed you guys.
Dude, I left because I was like, nothing's going on. I'm going to sit here and drink.

Speaker 1 It's good we missed everybody and just went home.

Speaker 1 Holy shit, dude. That is so

Speaker 1 dude's flying. Yeah, our last.

Speaker 1 This is my favorite. He got in, he got in the car, or we were leaving, leaving the hotel, and sometimes autographed people show up.
And I would, you know, I'm hungover. It's the next morning.

Speaker 1 My God, I get in the car. I'm like, he's fucking, dude.
And they're not fans. They're just people selling signatures.
Yeah. And it's like, Jesus, like, sometimes they'll be like, Sean, Sean.

Speaker 1 Big fan. And I get in the car.
I'm like, Jesus, fucking Christ, dude. These guys suck.
And he just looks at me and goes, God forbid somebody, God forbid somebody loves you.

Speaker 1 And I was just like, oh, you're hammered? It's fucking 11 a.m., dude.

Speaker 1 I was like, get drunk right now.

Speaker 1 He was like, yeah, I got them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I got a fucking bloody.

Speaker 1 I was like, the Eagles played the day,

Speaker 1 my last mothership show was Sunday. Yeah.
And the Eagles played that day. It was Eagles Rams.
Yeah. The whole squad was hurting.
So, dude, I show up. I stay in all day.

Speaker 1 Tony and everybody, they're out bar hopping. They're like, come on, pig.
And I'm like, I can't, guys.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Tony's like, the pig signal is in the air. Let's go, dude.
And I was like, I got a show, dude. I'll meet you an hour before.
I can't bar hop with you guys.

Speaker 1 Anyway, i finally i show up at copper tank like an hour before the show and pope is sitting there and i walk up he's sitting like this and i walk up to the table and i go what's up dude i hit him on the shoulder and he goes like this

Speaker 1 dude he goes i don't like you

Speaker 1 yeah dead eyes he goes i've been drinking since 9 a.m i was like oh my god it's not good

Speaker 1 whatever that was a rough one killed like he was sober killed like couldn't yeah you couldn't tell tell he had one drink. Yeah, his stand-up is pretty,

Speaker 1 he can do it hammered. You couldn't, yeah, it was wild.
You couldn't tell he had one drink.

Speaker 1 That was a fun night, though. That was, Tony was hammered.
I've never, he's been getting. It's very funny.
He's like, I just realized getting as drunk as possible is fun. I was like, it

Speaker 1 rocks.

Speaker 1 Don't do it too much, but it does rock. No, we always sing this song when we see each other.
I was like, you should not tell anyone this, but go ahead. Oh, no, no, no.
All right, never mind.

Speaker 1 Go ahead, do it. See? I'm trying to help you.

Speaker 1 You're doing it. I'm trying to help you, I swear.
Go ahead.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. You're doing your little.

Speaker 1 What's the song you and Tony sing when you see each other? You're doing your little. I just saved you.
You think I'm being a bad guy? I'm a snape right now.

Speaker 1 This whole time you thought I was against you, dude. Snape.
You know, I'm snapped.

Speaker 1 The snape. Snape the hug.

Speaker 1 All right, I won't tell the song. Please tell the song.
No, no, it's No, no, no, I'd really like it. It's where we're hammered.
I know, but I'd like to know it now.

Speaker 1 Because we're always like, all right, dude, let's chill out tomorrow night. Let's not do anything.
And then we then cut to the next night, 2 a.m. Like,

Speaker 1 we did it again. And he goes, Cause we got a problem.

Speaker 1 And that's the song. We sing a song called We Got a Problem.
It makes us laugh. And yeah, cut that out.

Speaker 1 Cut that out. Nope.
Cut that out. Cause we got a problem.

Speaker 1 Funny to sing. Ooh, that's going to come back to haunt you.
It's funny to sing. It's funny to sing.
Well, when you're drunk, it seems very funny. I love singing when I get drunk.

Speaker 1 Me and the boys, we hit a quartet. What do you guys sing? We fucking

Speaker 1 And If I Ever.

Speaker 1 No, it's Fall in Love by Shot by, I can't remember, Shay. I think it's about him.
Hit some CCR. Can you sing? Folks Bob.
Yeah, can you sing If I Ever Fall in Love Again? Which one is that?

Speaker 1 The one you were just saying you sing. Oh.

Speaker 1 And if that's Casey and JoJo, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I'm not sure who it is, but can you sing it? Can you sing it as literally as hard as you can? No, if I'm drunk.

Speaker 1 No, but like right now, can you sing?

Speaker 1 I can't. It's a fun game to play.
You try to make your boys actually sing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. That's why I have committed to the We've Got a Problem song.
I know. I would have liked to hear you really sing.
Don't cut that out, but cut out what I said. Cut that out.

Speaker 1 Keep them all in. Although, that's funny.

Speaker 1 It's a dumb thing you do with your friend when you're drunk, and it's funny to you guys.

Speaker 1 It is funny, and I'm excited to sing it with you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I bet you have a good time singing it with us. I probably will.
Yeah. 10 beers will change that out.
Usually in a good,

Speaker 1 usually in a pretty jolly mood.

Speaker 1 God damn, drinking is fun. Why does it never get old?

Speaker 1 Why does it never get old? Are you sure?

Speaker 1 It gets so old.

Speaker 1 Like you said, one, two days off, and you're like, I'm.

Speaker 1 day three comes around i go i can have a couple yeah take it easy tonight

Speaker 1 but my point is this like like uh like with uh mushrooms for instance right

Speaker 1 i had

Speaker 1 i had a bad uh trip over covid and i was like that's it i've never taken mushroom people do have alcohol that are not alcoholics i don't get why no matter how bad of a hangover i've ever had it never sticks like no don't do this anymore yeah there's hangovers you wake up and go all right fucking i'm done yeah you go i'm not gonna drink for two weeks yeah

Speaker 1 fucking wednesday that's what i'm saying

Speaker 1 guess who just got back today

Speaker 1 you know what i think the difference is back to you know i think the difference is

Speaker 1 i think it's easier to quit a drug because a drug the bad part happens during

Speaker 1 With booze, the bad part happens after. And that's why it's always so hard to remember that part.

Speaker 1 In other words, like if I drank. I also think alcohol is extremely addictive.
Sure.

Speaker 1 That might be it too.

Speaker 1 But if I drank and I started having panic attacks while I was drinking, I'd be like, I'm not doing it. I would be terrified.
You know what I mean? Like you would like a bad acid trip or something.

Speaker 1 But like the bad part of alcohol is just you feel like hell the next day sometimes. Watch a good PBS doc on prohibition.
Yeah. It's pretty good.
What did he say?

Speaker 1 The thing I never really thought of was, so like women were really leading the prohibition movement. They were like, we need to make alcohol illegal because our no, but that's what I always thought.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh, just ruining a fucking good time.

Speaker 1 Turns out there's no laws back then about beating the fuck out of your family or raping your wife. Okay.
So these guys would come home.

Speaker 1 No, there's no laws, dude.

Speaker 1 These guys would come home, just whoop their family. They're taking the booze away and make the guys less angry.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 the beating as well

Speaker 1 after the booze was taken away. No, these guys were coming home, dude, they drank back then.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Dude, they had a hard day.

Speaker 1 The food's cold.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And also you're blacked out.
Yeah. And you're working in a fucking factory.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's, you know, jobs sucked back then. Your kids are shit.
I'm not justifying what they did. Sounds like it.
It's a powder keg is what I'm saying. I'm justifying it.
You're justifying it.

Speaker 1 The kids are shit. The wife doesn't fucking do her shit.
You want to hit them.

Speaker 1 You know, you're blacked out. You got to hit it.
Also, too. To the moon.

Speaker 1 Remember Goodfellas?

Speaker 1 Remember Goodfellas when his dad beats him up real bad because he hasn't been going to school for months? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like imagine the rage you would have felt if you immigrated here from Ireland or Italy or wherever.

Speaker 1 Because you wanted to have a better life for your family. And then you have a kid here, all you sacrificed for him, and then your kid turns out to be a punk.

Speaker 1 I can't imagine the fucking rage you would feel about that. You know what I mean? Like, it's beyond disappointment.
Yeah. You know, it's beyond.

Speaker 1 You're like, I sacrificed literally everything to try to build this for you guys, and you don't appreciate it. Like, you know, that's why those guys, I think, drag so much.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying it's the only reason, but

Speaker 1 it's a hell of a reason. Yeah.
You know? But

Speaker 1 you little punk, when I was your age, I had four jobs. Yeah.

Speaker 1 yeah. But fucking, I mean, man, I wonder what it was like to get cocked in a bar.
Like, I mean, there must have been fights every night.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they were talking about how the bars were back then. And it was.
What did they say? It was just, it was brutal, yeah. It was everything you think.
Just guys getting stabbed.

Speaker 1 And the amount, like, America drank more than every country on earth, like, immediately. Like, just immediately.
Because it was all fucking immigrants from Ireland, like, poor immigrants.

Speaker 1 They were just obliterated. And other People were like, this is going to ruin this country.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We took right off. Yeah.
We took right off. It's good.
You should check it out. Prohibition on PBS.
Is it Ken Burns?

Speaker 1 It's Ken Burns adjacent, if it's not Ken.

Speaker 1 Is it Barry Burns, the brother of Ken Burns?

Speaker 1 This mysterious Ken Burns brother?

Speaker 1 When was Prohibition? The 30s?

Speaker 1 Right? Or was it the 20s? It was the

Speaker 1 fuck. It had to be right before the 20s.
It would have been the 20s. It's Al Capone time.
Yeah. Like late 20s, maybe? 20s, 30s.
1920s or 1933. Yeah.
Okay. Damn, dude.

Speaker 1 I didn't know it was that long. Yeah, that's crazy.
But it just immediately led to gangsters.

Speaker 1 It's pretty cool. It's a cool time.
There's this bar with the roaring 20s and then into the Great Depression. They had to fucking let the booze out during the Depression.

Speaker 1 They were like, all right, fucking

Speaker 1 the depression was detox. How fun would it have been to get fucked up in the roaring 20s because you had to drink at like little speakeasies and secret places? It would have been fun.
Oh,

Speaker 1 it would have been like high school. Yeah.
Chicks fucked into the woods.

Speaker 1 I went to this one place in Worcester. It's like a pirate tavern.
It's like a pirate. But under it, they had the Babe Ruth.

Speaker 1 They had a prohibition like

Speaker 1 speakeasy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was speakeasy, but there was like a, it was connected to the water where they would like send bottles of alcohol there and they would just pick them up for like babe boothing like athletes and stuff.

Speaker 1 That's cool. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The um

Speaker 1 I like that, LeMaire. I feel like it's

Speaker 1 I feel like it was like I feel like speakeasy's like prohibition. I feel like it was like prostitution where

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 there's a goddamn massage parlor every three feet. You know what's going on in a lot of these places.
It's like the cops never raid them. They just operate.
I feel like that's how prohibition was.

Speaker 1 The term bootlegger came from

Speaker 1 just guys who would sell sell booze on the street? They would just keep like in their socks or their pants.

Speaker 1 They would have a bottle and you just go up and take a swig and then put it back in. They called them bootleggers.
Now I get it. What do you think about that, fellas?

Speaker 1 Interesting stuff. My coffee thing flew over there.
Sorry. That's all right.
We should end this podcast.

Speaker 1 Matthew, we miss you. We love you.
October 7th, Matthew's new special comes out. Also, Baltimore, there's still tickets left.
Come to that show.

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