Ep 582 - Very Interesting

Wow, wow, wow, Wes.

Hello.

Hey, hello.

Hello, hello.

How are you?

Good.

How are you doing?

I'm doing all right.

I'm jet lagged, bro.

I had a fucking,

I've had a fly from LA to Buffalo and I had to get up at 1:50 a.m.

Because I had to get on like a 5 a.m.

flight.

So I was like, damn, let me get there because every time I check traffic over there at nighttime, I'm like, damn, it takes an hour to get to the airport.

Then I wake up and it's 22 minutes.

Sure, yeah.

So I wake up super early, and dude, I get there.

And LAX is one of a few airports that doesn't run 24-7.

Like the ticketing and bagging and everything.

So I get there at like three, being like, I'll give myself two hours.

It's Friday.

It's, you know, it's a giant city.

It's going to be, I thought it was a booming metropolis.

I get there early, dude, because I didn't want to, if I missed it, I'm going to get all the way to beautiful Buffalo.

I would have been fucked.

I fly like an old person.

I get there two hours early.

Two hours early is crazy.

Oh, dude.

That's like an hour early.

In a smaller airport,

for some reason, I'm like, it's LAX.

There's going to be a million people.

Dude, I get there.

It's just six people.

We're sitting in there.

And I was like trying to do the ticket counter.

And the guy's like, yo, dude, you can't.

You got to wait till like four o'clock.

And I was like, four o'clock.

My flight's at fucking 5.30.

That only gives me an hour and a half.

It's crazy.

It's so easy.

Oh, dude, I'm sitting there.

So I had to wait till 4 o'clock.

You had to wait till, and then everyone gets to do like the thing and put the bag.

And then there's like, you go to the next level.

I go up the escalator to go to the TSA pre-check.

And there's just people standing there like, get downstairs.

You're not allowed to be up here.

And I'm like, okay.

So I ride the escalator escalator back down.

So now everyone's just waiting by the escalator.

And all, like, for like 20 minutes, you watch people like ride up.

And a couple of like, yeah, you can't.

And they just ignore them and come back down as the ride of shame.

So it was like, it was set up to get someone to spazz, dude, because then we finally get to another place and we get to another checkpoint, like, everybody, wait here.

We're not open yet.

And it was just like, dude, what the fuck?

It was, it was, it was tough.

It was insane to me.

But I flew all the way to Buffalo and had to do two shows that I was, so I was fucked up for like three days.

I basically didn't sleep for a day.

Yeah.

I was jacked up.

Yeah, that's terrible.

It was bad.

You can't go to the airport that early.

I had to.

In order to get to.

You don't have to.

That got me to Buffalo by 3 p.m.

Show was at 12.

That's all that you had to do.

That's what I'm saying.

I'm going to do it.

I'm saying you don't have to get to the airport that early.

Dude, in LA, I thought there was going to be fucking.

You've flown so many times.

I know, but I noticed that.

You can't get to the airport

like 20 minutes.

Dude, I did this once and it backfired on me, and I got so shook that I was like, never again.

I had to fly out of Austin.

I was late.

And I had like, I got there as the plane started boarding.

And it just so happened to be slammed.

And I had to go to the wheelchair line, beg my way in front of wheelchair people to be like, hey, man.

I know you got your sitch going on.

I'm running late.

And they were like, yeah, for sure.

They let me all go.

And I was like, never again.

I felt, I don't like asking for stuff.

I mean, like, having to ask a person, literally like four people in wheelchairs to be like, can I get in front of you?

was just a low point for me personally.

Sure.

Then I had a fight with a clear representative because they do two for one all the time.

But you got to find a middle ground.

You can't, don't be late.

I have no middle ground.

Don't be two hours early.

I have no middle ground.

Unless you plan on hitting the bar.

I'm not averse to two hours at an airport, but that'd be fun.

That results in a rough day.

I just work.

I just plug in my laptop and drink coffee and just work on my laptop.

So I kind of like being there.

I get focused.

But I also, if I dilly dally, I lose track of time easily.

So if I go, oh, I got time, I'll completely fuck myself.

So, yeah, I'm an early bird to the airport.

I get there so early.

It's like my mom.

I know.

For real.

I know.

My parents do it too.

If they ever fly, which they rarely do.

My parents flew Spirit this weekend.

Did they really?

They surprised me.

Well, they thought it was a surprise

in Vegas, which was crazy because they got there at like 10 a.m.

on Saturday, which is when I was like, we should hang out.

But they wanted to wait until I was watching the Notre Dame game to walk in.

So they waited until like 4.30.

Gotcha.

And then I had a show.

Like, I didn't even see them.

Oh, man.

I hung out with them.

I watched football.

I watched like the first half of the game with them.

And they were just there the whole time?

Yeah.

But then, no, then we went and we played Blackjack for a little after the show.

That's cool.

So the night before Friday,

first time ever I've left the casino with chips.

I won so much.

That's awesome.

Because

I was tired as fuck and I was trying to go to bed.

So I just kept going all in on blackjack.

And I did it like three times in a row and I won all three.

And then I ended up with a lot of money.

You can walk.

Yeah, I had to walk eventually.

I have a nice rule of I'll never walk

until it's so, you know, pot was thick.

Then you have to.

But

when my dad got there the next day, I handed him a wad of cash from what I gave him 10 grand.

The winnings.

Yeah, I gave him $10,000 in cash.

First off, when I handed it to him, he just goes, thanks.

I was like, dude, you're such a piece of shit.

You're such a piece of shit.

I felt this.

I was even pretending to be like, oh, I can't.

No, no, not even one.

He'd just go, thank you.

I was like, dude,

I gave it to him.

That was funny.

So then after the show,

after the show, we go play Blackjack, but I didn't have time to go take out more money.

So I was sitting next to my dad and I was like, dad, let me get some of that money.

And he was like, no, hold on.

I was like, dude, give me the fucking money I just gave you.

I'm not going to take all of it.

So he gives me a little.

I lose right away.

Yeah.

Because I go all in and just lose.

I was like, all right, a little more.

He goes, okay.

He takes it out and

peeled him off.

He's such a dickhead, dude.

Give me like 100 bucks.

He's an asshole.

That's so funny.

Yeah, I'll give it to him.

That was funny.

That's hilarious.

Yeah.

10,000 in cash.

Yeah, thanks.

Peeling the bill separately is such a funny real slowly

and stopping to look at me.

Keep peeling it, taking one back, peeling one back into the pile.

He's very, from what I understand, he's a pretty methodical gambler, right?

He's pretty disciplined and methodical yeah yeah yeah he hated watching me he doesn't like yeah i've seen of me just being like i'm on shane come on shane god damn it

now look at that you lost that's great

just great

it's so funny dude yeah it was it was nice though it was nice having my mom my mom and dad came that's fun but they flew spirit and i was like how was that experience

uh terrible yeah it's like fucking eight hours on a spirit airline so when you fly spirit at austin you got to go to like a different whole side of the airport which takes an extra 20 minutes to get to.

I know people miss flights that way.

They've been like, oh, yeah, I'm flying.

I think Frontier and Spirit are like a different

dude.

It's a totally

tax like 20-something minutes onto the trip so it can sync you.

Yeah.

Luckily, I.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But they wouldn't let me upgrade their flight home.

What?

I don't know.

Dang.

I was like, guys, I can get you first class.

Yeah, I can get you first.

Because I wanted to, not out of like.

Yeah.

My parents are older.

It's like.

Yeah, for sure.

I do like them in the back of Spirit just battling.

True.

That is really cool.

I should have got Philip Burger King crown.

The what?

I should have gotten the BK crown.

You'd have no idea why.

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Yeah, it was a good time.

It is funny because a lot of older people are like, I hate flying.

And they fly spirit.

They're like, see?

Yeah.

No, she's always do that.

Yeah, Brittany used to do.

When we first met, she would, it wasn't Spirit.

She would do Southwest at like 5 in the morning every flight.

I just thought that was like the flight schedule.

I'm like, damn, planes are early as hell.

Dude, those are at like 6 p.m.

You never have to fly at 5 a.m.

You do have to.

I had to get to the people of Buffalo.

West to East is tough.

Yeah, that was, man, that fucked me up big time.

Dude,

Gabe was at your show, wasn't it?

Nice.

Gabe was there Saturday.

Nice.

That was good.

I'm glad he went to a good one.

the uh dude i when i left so i left buffalo beautiful buffalo new york on uh sunday morning and i got picked up by the super driver to go to the airport the guy you know he was just like a normal guy he's pretty funny and uh i was like damn it smells so good there's the general mills factory and i'm like smells like honey nut cheerios he goes dude i just learned what that was i've been here for a while because i i uh picked this lady up from there and she was like yeah it's a cereal factory that's why it smells good and he goes right and he's like so i asked her like so what do you make like all the cereals you guys make the cereal for like Buffalo?

Or do you ship it somewhere else?

And I was just like, did you thought they make a giant factory?

A cereal factory.

Buffalo.

Just a Buffalo cereal.

A lot of Cheerios.

It'd kill me.

That's so good.

That'd kill me, first of all.

And then, so we keep driving because I do have my happy to chat feature.

Did you spread that out?

Or is that just

he thought it was just like every city has their own cereal factory?

It's like a video game.

Yeah.

So that cracked me up.

I'm like, all right, all right.

And then I'm like, I wonder what else this guy's up to.

So we're chatting.

He was just like, yeah, man, people are crazy.

I always love telling Uber drivers like, yeah, I should drive for Lyft.

I kind of know the whole deal.

And he was, so we get into like how people treat you.

And he was like, yeah, this one lady, man.

He goes, I got to record everything now because it's a fucking lady.

I pick her up.

I drive her and I drop her off.

And then like, you know, we talk just like this.

We're talking the whole time.

And

I'm almost positive he had the words mixed up.

He goes, and then she tries to file a complaint for sexual assault while we're talking, saying, like, I was like, you know, I sexually assaulted her, and I'm like, okay, I didn't like correct him at all.

He goes, dude, like, they have, I'm 4.98 stars.

Like, they have my rating.

I had to go back and forth, like, guys, you know, I never do this.

I have a family.

Blah, blah, blah.

And then he looks at me.

He goes, I mean, 15 years ago, maybe.

He was about sexual harassment.

But him hitting me like 15 years ago.

I might have sexually assaulted that woman.

I was wild back then.

He was killing me.

He was the funniest dude I've ever met.

Back in 2010, I might have sexually assaulted.

Before I had a wife and kids, I mean, who knows?

It was a bit of a wild challenge.

That's awesome.

Yeah, it was my favorite.

That was happy to chat must be devastating.

Happy to chat's the move.

It's

a chat for those guys must just be the best.

Holy shit.

All right.

This dude,

he was pushing me to my limit.

He pushed me to my limit, dude.

He had, after,

he kept talking after, he talked the entire time.

But, dude, he, those two gems are cracking me up.

And I was like, damn, man, you guys, what's the what do you make?

All the cereal for Buffalo?

Dude, what the fuck?

Yeah, it's literally, that's a child's brain.

Every town must have a Cheerio factory.

And then I got, I got to the club and I had ordered Uberites like minutes before I could, like, I wanted to time it so I can get it, go back and eat.

And they dropped it off at the bar.

And I go up and I'm like, hey, I asked the one person working there.

I'm like, I think I have like food over there.

Can I grab it?

And he just like, you went to the bartender, like, hey, whatever her name was.

And she just looked up and went, What?

God damn.

Got all rough and tumble.

Buffalo.

Buffalo is so rough and tumble.

I love Buffalo.

It's awesome.

There was a giant bloodstain on the sidewalk outside of the club.

Oh, like on the block, not a block away.

I walked past it.

Big Cheerio dispute.

We're going to take all of your lucky charms into the town over.

Never my dead body, punk.

But yeah, Buffalo was so fun.

I had a blast.

I had a good old time.

I had some wings.

It was nice.

You got some wings?

What'd you get?

Do you know?

Pizza Plant.

That was the name of the place.

The place ruled.

Yeah,

people are against my decisions for a gluten-free pizza and curry wings, but you know.

That's insane.

You're in Buffalo, dude.

You fucking asshole.

I got the curry wings.

That's crazy.

Yeah, I was.

Yeah.

You're not going to believe it, but when I go to Buffalo, I put a hurting on chicken wings.

It's fucking crazy.

It's crazy, dude.

The curry wings, they were so good, man.

I don't even branch off different flavors.

I just straight up.

I mean, I'm here for the fucking original recipe.

I know, I know, I know.

You never see curried wings.

I have Buffalo every other time.

Yeah, but not the Buffalo.

It's mom's gravy.

I'll be back.

It's the gravy.

Sunday gravy.

It's the perfect Sunday gravy.

I'll be back.

Obviously, I'll be back to Buffalo.

So I'll avenge my.

But damn those curried wings.

Never leaving Buffalo, dude.

Oh, dude.

I'll never leave Buffalo.

Buffalo fucking rules.

That was my actual, that was my argument against the Saudis.

What?

When they were like, why don't you go do this thing?

I was like, I'm going to go to Buffalo.

All right.

I'm going to fucking Rihanna.

I'll go to Buffalo.

Buffalo rules.

I was joking because it kind of looks like the Middle East over, it's bombed out.

They bombed it out a little.

Yeah.

Yeah, when you walk around,

I know what hotel you're at.

The high.

Yeah,

it was, you walk.

A lot of buildings there

bombed, bro.

It was crazy.

but Buffalo was crushing it, man.

I was there every night.

It was fun.

I love it.

Me and Lemise had an all-time night there.

Oh, yeah, that was Buffalo, babe.

Fuck, dude.

Sassy.

What's that?

I said it was sass.

And the little sass.

Yeah.

Yeah, we put a hurting those wings at the anchor bar.

We did.

Yeah.

I think I probably had 30.

It's crazy.

The numbers I put up in Buffalo.

I'm like MJ at the garden, dude.

You get me the anchor bar.

I'm dropping 80.

Dude.

Yeah, that pizza plant was fired up, man.

That was good as hell.

It's right next to the hotel.

It was literally, I was like walking, trying to find it.

I walked outside.

It's just attached to the hotel.

I did, I spun the block like a moron, being like, it's so close.

Yeah.

Walked around.

I'm like, I could just walk through the hotel and found the pizza plant.

Pizza Plant would have been nice.

Pizza Plant was fucking good, dude.

They had one of those gluten-free pizzas that's like the some of they've made technology, like technological leaps in gluten-free pizza where I swear to God, it's almost as good.

Pizza Plant hit me with like a classic Gen 1

dry.

and i i like that for some weird reason i like a dry crackery crust and again their regular pizza is probably sick as hell but yeah i was there with my i have a friend from canada who came down to visit me and i would dude i was i was so exhausted and he was like i'll meet you at 9 a.m i was like no shot i was like i'm sleeping i was like i'll hit you up at 10.

10 a.m i'll wake up he's like i'm outside i was like you motherfucker damn so it was cool we went to the art museum You went to the Buffalo Art Museum?

Yeah, the AKG.

Fucking finger painting.

The fuck are they doing with the art?

You must not have seen the AKG.

They had the,

what is it called?

There's a seven.

I learned about seven Canadian masters called like the Great Seven or something.

They just draw like snowy trees.

It was awesome.

The Canadian Masters.

I didn't, dude, there's seven Canadian Masters.

Called the Great Seven.

Look them up, guys.

Look up the guy.

I kept calling them the wrong names.

My friend's like an art dealer.

Yeah.

So he kept being like, so what about the big seven?

He's like, do not call the big seven.

Stop saying that.

It's the big seven now.

Just say no, it's the big seven.

They would just draw snowy snowy ass fucking trees.

What do they call it?

Great seven?

The League of Seven or something?

Group of seven.

Group of seven.

That's it.

The group of seven.

They all drew snowy trees.

Are they all French?

I mean, pretty much.

French-Canadian, I think.

Yeah, well, obviously.

It's hard to.

They're not telling me.

Yeah,

take a look at it.

You got to go to the AKG if you learn about them.

They don't have French names

from what I can tell.

Yeah, they had like some of them were like MacArthur.

They had some Scottish.

They had some Scots over there drawing the snowy trees.

Barley.

I will say the,

I didn't realize the people, I mean, it's kind of dumb, but the people in museums, like the people who stand there in the black, like the black shirts and shit, I thought they were just security guards.

Bro, they're all like art history majors.

They would like horn in and be like, you guys have any questions?

And I'd be like, not really, unless there's something you want to say.

And the lady, she would have talked for an hour and a half.

Yeah, art history degrees get you.

You basically are like a fucking...

palace guard in England.

Yeah, dude.

You have to just stand at attention all day.

And then somebody comes in and goes, this sucks, dude.

I got to take a shit.

God damn it.

Yeah, she was like talking about this one person where, like, this painting, this is like the house that he built.

And if you look this way, that view of a river is what he would see outside of his house.

And I'm like, damn, you guys are going crazy on this.

I breezed through in two seconds.

I don't believe you.

Cool, cool.

Yeah.

Nice.

I'm out.

But yeah, they were getting into it.

Now, when the art people start talking to me, I go, I literally, I don't believe you.

Did he tell you that?

I don't think that's true.

I don't think he saw that.

You should just start being like, I actually heard that he had French lineage.

I thought he had French lineage.

I thought it was more like realistic surrealism.

Yeah.

Did you know he was gay?

Like, what do you know about Salvador Dolly?

I'm more of a Dolly guy.

It's cool.

I also, what I did learn, though, because a lot of those guys, you see some paintings where you're like, you see one that's like a...

hyper-realistic portrait that someone painted.

And I'm like, yeah, I'm like, that's amazing.

And then you get a guy who's like super squiggly.

Who's the guy who does the screen painting moonsh or something his name is i learned yes i thought it was van gogh the whole time it's this guy mook or something yeah he did the screen painting and i'm looking at his other paintings i'm like a lot of them are just swirly crazy stuff and i'm like dude if i was a guy who did this and i'm seeing this i'd be like what the fuck but apparently those guys can do that They get bored and then they're like, they want to do some weird

other shit.

I learned that because my whole life I was like, dude, you got these guys just masquerading around.

I'm like, I'd love to do that.

Squiggly guys?

Squiggly guys.

But my my friend was like, no, dude, he's a master technique.

He could do that if he wants.

But this is how he chose to spend his later years.

It's like, let me see some proof.

Fuck all that, dude.

Let me see some proof.

But

there's a guy who does like blue just rectangles.

Yeah, the modern art

itself.

Count me out.

Yeah, I've been in the MoMA so many times.

And every time I go, I get angry.

No, man.

You walk in, it's like a TV screen of a woman screaming.

Dude, that shit pisses me off.

What the fuck is this?

They've gotten into some wild stuff.

I will say

yeah that stuff i have no starry nights in there and that's that's nice to look at starry nights is sick so i i saw um there was this lady she's a japanese woman she had like one of those immersive installations where she apparently started hallucinating polka dots everywhere so she would paint these rooms and you walk in and it sounds so dumb but they're just tiny dots and big dots and it that was kind of cool but nice it's like i don't know yeah i can't get behind the thing of a guy on a vcr being like stop right there stop right there and you're like that's i could have done that in five fucking that stinks that pissed me off yeah but there's yeah there was a guy who like attached fluorescent lights together they're like this was actually better beat the shit out of him

i mean he's very transgressive

especially again like dude like people who paint like a beautiful waterfall or like yeah it's fucking alt comedy yeah

do chomp or whatever that's alt comedy dude

Like, I could do comedy, but I'm just going to do like making fun of comedy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Shut up, Dork.

I've never seen you do comedy once.

Yeah, paint a fucking waterfall.

Show me a waterfall.

Homp the stool.

Yeah, the uh, but that was cool.

I was, it was fun to do.

And then I ate my, I punished my friend by giving him curry wings.

I'm like, all right, dude.

Yeah, you want to take me to the Buffalo Art Museum?

Now I raise you a little home and home.

Now you're on my court.

Game two, Curry Wings.

Yeah, it was really, he's actually, he's a really funny guy.

He came, the waitress came out.

I was like, how's the pizza?

He goes, it's actually horrible.

This gluten-free crust is.

an art snob, dude.

He was cracking me up.

Shout out, Ray.

It's a beast.

Yeah, so I had a good time, man.

I had a fun old time.

I was done.

I think I'm done.

My stupid podcast tour.

That was.

It's exhausting, dude.

Yeah, it sucks.

Stinks big time.

But I had fun.

I had a good time doing that, repeating yourself.

Especially towards the end of it, you get like...

Repeat the same stories.

Just repeating the same thing.

And you're like, well, let me tell you.

You've heard the question 100 times.

You're like, let me tell you.

Started feeling like a politician.

Yeah.

I started hitting him.

I should have hit him with the Gavin Newsoms being like, that's interesting.

That's really interesting.

Did you see that clip?

Yeah, I've seen a lot of it.

That's with Gavin.

That's my favorite.

Gavin.

What was he trying to get at?

I don't even.

Like, they asked him about APAC, I guess.

And he went, huh, that's interesting.

You bring it up.

Yeah, he's like, I don't know anything about that.

That's interesting.

He was basically like, I don't know what that is.

But that's what I'm talking about.

But that's interesting.

That's very interesting.

You bring that up.

Yeah.

Dude, what do you do?

It's a nice defense.

I'm very interested in that.

I thought he was being

what are you up to?

I think it's like, oh, wow, okay.

That's an interesting point.

Apec.

I don't think I've heard of that.

I've dealt with other packs, but I don't know about APEC.

It is funny, though, if your job is to be full of shit all the time and you just finally bomb at being full of shit.

You're like, I can't.

My brain's farting out of me.

I usually have like a cool way to maneuver around this.

Just going, oh, it's funny you asked me about it.

Jewish guys?

In his head, Jewish guys, really?

Alarms going off.

Come on, Gavin, pull out of this.

Talk about infrastructure.

They're Jewish, right?

That's it, buddy.

Are they?

Interesting.

Huh.

Oh, yeah.

Well,

that is interesting.

I've never

Jewish.

Yeah, I guess I have heard of that.

Your little earpiece is like this static.

Help!

Pull up.

Pull up.

Yeah, it's very, no, it's

interesting you'd ask me about.

There's like turning the tables unsuccessfully.

The Trump dog, though, hit it with the...

Why are you guys still...

You guys are obsessed.

I know.

I know.

I know.

Do you get to watch any of the No Kings protests silos?

I caught a little bit.

I went into a nice little algorithm.

He's fucking crazy.

I had X on the way home, and I was on there watching the No King stuff.

It was.

Did you see the guy get his glasses stolen?

No.

And fall?

No.

From what I understood, it was...

Took the most brutal fall.

No.

Ass up.

Who snatched his glasses?

Some fucking liberal punk, dude.

Wait, so a liberal punk snatched.

Two geezers were walking by, kind of talking shit.

Oh, being like, yeah, whatever, you fucking queers, fuck you.

And then somebody rips his glasses and he tries to chase him.

Falls, dude.

Falls straight to ass up.

Face down, ass up.

Damn.

Forced.

Devastating fall.

I might have just been getting propagandized through Twitter, but it was really that my algorithm was kind of presenting it to me as an epic liberal fail of going to like white people into like poor neighborhoods and being like, no kings.

And everyone there being like, get the fuck out.

Yeah, it was all very embarrassing.

They're trying to hit the old, the playbook.

Yeah.

Last time.

Which even now is like embarrassing to look at.

The what?

Like BLM around there.

Yeah.

Like those types of protests.

When you see footage of it now, you're like, damn, that's so embarrassing.

Yeah, for sure.

They're standing in front of cops.

Yeah.

It's like, you look like a doofus.

You truly do.

Yeah.

One of those people, was it crumping?

It's the worst video you've ever seen in your life.

Dude, they're crumping in front of the police.

It's so crazy.

The thing I caught that was making me laugh was when

they did the No Kings extension into London.

And they did like, they did, like, people in England were like, no kings.

And then they, I don't know if this is true or not, but they're saying they had to alter it to like no tyrants for our people that do live under monarch, you know, monarchy-led systems.

Which is just like funny to watch it kind of unravel into non-stantly.

Yeah, but that's, I mean, I don't know.

My thing is, it's like, dude, I don't live there.

So, like, what do you think about the National Guard being deployed?

Like, I don't, I don't fucking live there.

Yeah.

Depends, you know.

If I was there and I was having a tough time, I'd be like, okay, cool.

Yeah.

If I was there and I didn't want them to be there, I'd be like, there was a kid who did a viral Instagram of like putting on the show I see and being like the cartels put out $25,000 hits on federal agent's head and they immediately like pulled his account up and he was like, this is fucking bullshit.

Bullshit.

Yeah, I don't know, man.

Yeah, I don't know.

I mean, it's interesting you bring this up, actually.

Yeah, I was like, you don't have to talk.

You don't have to give any opinion.

No, I like the videos of people walking around just for some reason praising the National Guard.

That's been my instinct.

Praising the Guard?

Yeah.

I've seen a lot of old black guys being like, woo-wee!

Yeah.

This is nice.

I'm like, cool.

That's a good algo.

That's my algo right now.

I'm like, what are you talking about?

People love it there.

Yeah.

If they're stopping and asking for fucking people's papers, that's not great.

Yeah.

What kind of papers?

But if there's a lot of murders.

Well, that's...

I was thinking about that on the plane home.

I'm like

it is kind of crazy to accept that as like okay in any part of America if there's that many murders, yeah, to be like well, that's none of your business.

It's like that should be kind of unacceptable in America.

They're like take extreme action.

I always thought that when I'd watched like a horror movie, you know, and like Michael Myers goes around and kills like 15 people.

You can bring in the National Guard.

Why do we have two cops?

Bring in the military.

This happens every fucking Halloween.

A bunch of high school whores.

Why is this up to a bunch of high school whores?

Why are these hot fucking high school sluts?

Yeah, bring the National Guard, dude.

Yeah,

that was my big take on the airport.

I was like, it is, shouldn't let, you shouldn't let anywhere get there.

Because they called it a state of emergency in Chester, Pennsylvania, like years and years ago.

It got so bad that I think they brought in, I think, just state police.

They were like, all right, we're just posting police up everywhere because this is, everyone's getting shot.

Like, the stop signs there were like riddled with bullet holes.

It was bad.

So, I don't know.

Yeah, that's my thing.

I don't really live there.

It's none of my business.

If personally, if I saw the National Guard outside my house, I would walk up and say, thank you for your service.

I'd say, dude.

And they'd say, yo, your dog can't be out here without a leash.

I'd be like, no, kings, no kings, no kings.

Show me that in the dress edition.

No tyrants.

You're going to like those highlight videos.

It's just old people like singing, making up songs about no kings.

It's very good.

Yeah.

Getting in, I'm like, yeah, yeah, being 55 and being like, finally, I'm standing up for black Americans.

It's like, oh, good, man.

That's good.

You've had a lifetime to do so.

Yeah, yeah.

Where are you in the 60s?

That's it.

Yeah, dude, the geezers are getting crushed on Facebook.

You just scroll the Facebook and just get their hard drives completely wiped.

AI's got to be.

Truly destroying the geezers.

Yeah.

Because it's getting to the point where I'm like,

that bear is jumping on a trampoline.

They got it on a ring camera.

Holy shit.

The geezers must be getting popped by that.

My brother was setting up, trying to set my dad up to make him think ice agents are in the driveway.

That's a good prank.

You could crush my dad with that.

Oh, yeah.

So easy.

I haven't got the feedback on it.

I don't know if he pulled the trigger on it yet, but he's been battling my dad.

Yeah, Billy was saying he was calling your dad a Dem.

Yeah.

That's fucking nice.

I know.

Yeah,

Dem's a tough insult.

Bro, it crushes the geezes.

Crushes me, dude.

Somebody hits you with a damn.

You go, damn, that sucks.

Yeah, we talked about it last week.

We both got damned.

Yeah, we've been damned before.

I'm waiting for the next No Kings, bro.

I might go down there.

Now that I've said it, I think I made a full 180.

I'm completely on the No Kings.

No Kings?

Yeah, I'm going to go down.

No Kings.

James would be down there, pro-Kings.

True, he loves.

James loves Kings.

You might need a King.

Dude, my bad.

I'm struck with a terrible illness.

You're sick.

An upper respiratory, some type of cold.

Oh, man.

It's just a fucking cold.

Still stinks, man.

How long have you had it?

This is a question.

It started like a week ago.

About a week ago.

A couple days ago.

And then it just developed into something bad.

At first, it was very mild.

Shame it didn't stay in Vegas.

When I was having fun drinking and partying, the cold was dormant.

The second I started relaxing and

jumped in.

That's interesting.

It is interesting.

Maybe I should have a drink.

Yeah, I was having a hoot in Vegas.

Were you really?

Yeah.

Yeah, the chain smokers came to my show, and then they were like, do you want to introduce us at our DJ show tonight?

And I was like, yeah.

Yeah, it does.

I was on stage at like a rave.

I was like, Las Vegas, are you guys ready?

It's so embarrassing.

Dude, I've been dug in.

All I do is I read my book about Vietnam right now.

The Vietnam

Vietnam per KZ book, dude, it's...

It's insane.

Just the childhood people had back in the 60s and like early 50s is like

you would just grow up and just your dad would just beat the living shit out of you.

And then you would like,

the way he explained it was really funny because it's like, you have a beer.

So you grow up as being like, go to church every day.

You're like, I fucking love this country so much.

You do atomic bomb drills under your desk.

And then you're like, dude, I can't wait to go to war.

I want to go to war so bad.

And they like, dude, the one kid, the junior year, he's like, yeah, me and my friend just like left and went to California for an entire summer.

Just didn't tell our parents.

Came back and they were like, dude, we got hookers in Tijuana.

It was sick.

And then next thing you know, he's going to boot camp.

and he's like just thinking like dude everyone's going to be so stoked they're going to high five me and get off oh fuck your mother you fucking tripped and he's like dude i was just terrified and next thing i know i was in the vietnam jungle just being like what the fuck is this yeah i didn't know there was urban warfare too in vietnam of course i didn't know that i thought it was all just in like the like the rice patties and the marshes and shit and they really really didn't know who the fuck they were fighting against kind of yeah he's like anyone could have been a suspect at any time you just do like regularly like yeah run to the store and you just drive a jeep and someone your guys the guy next to you's head would fucking blow off from a sniper and you just look you're like there you there's no there's just kids and shit around yeah it was fucked up and they talk about just like going through and just eventually just fucking napalming those little hamlets and shit they're like because you got so spun out from the whole thing yeah then you're there and they're like yeah you know this war is bullshit right you'd be like what

what are you talking about it was it's crazy man i was hit that chem burns i'll check that chem burns vietnam it's it's awesome i'll check it out the blue the memoir is nice because it's very personal yeah it's funny getting to know this.

No, this gives you like the Cameroons one is very personal.

Really?

It's like a bunch of different people's stories.

And then the overall history of it, but like, it's just guys' personal stories.

And a lot of them are like, I grew up all-American, like, wanted to help the country because these guys are all post-World War II.

Their parents were World War II.

Yeah.

So they were all like, we're the good guys.

Then they get to Vietnam and find out that they're the bad guys.

Yeah.

Kind of.

Well, yeah.

Again, dude.

Kind of.

Yeah.

I mean, dude, dude, especially if, yeah, if I like, he would, in this memoir, it's like, and then this guy showed up, and you like, the guy gets to know that guy, and just out of, it's like out of nowhere, steps on a mine, the guy explodes.

Yeah, it's fucking crazy.

And then it's, yeah, yeah, it was just, it sucked, too, because all the guys go, they're like, I want some action, let's send me out there.

And it's just like, yeah, it's the worst.

You just get shit like a Russian missile fucking hits you.

You're like, where the fuck did they get that?

You got to go into a tunnel with a flashlight.

Yeah, it's like midnight, dude.

You have to walk at midnight just to go like scout a location.

Dude,

you would just see tracer bullets like whizzing around all night when you're trying to sleep.

It's just things exploding constantly.

It's fucking terrible.

But the Vietnam per Casey book is fucking awesome.

I'll check it out.

That's all I just

dude.

I just, at night, I just get to my bed at like 9 p.m.

And I'm just in war, dude.

My wife's trying to come over to my chili pad.

I'm like, not right now, dude.

I'm dug in right now.

We're on a five-minute shit.

We're on a five-man scouting mission right now.

Fucking shit, woman.

Give me a second.

But yeah, yeah, it's pretty brutal stuff.

Yeah, Vietnam sucked.

Yeah, if I ever see a Vietnam vet again, I'm definitely going to give him a big high-five pat on the butt.

Yeah.

It's tough stuff.

Only if he wants me to, obviously.

But I talked about it before.

They do the same thing with that, where they're like, the Vietnamese were,

they never really cover the Vietnamese atrocities.

Yeah, I kind of want to read about

their point of view.

Yeah, dude.

They interview a lot of the Viet Cong in the Ken Burns.

Oh, really?

It's pretty cool.

I kind of wanted that side of things, too.

But I was just watching

every historical thing I watch about Native Americans, they're like,

they were proud warrior people that fought for their land and did it.

And then they're like, and the white man was evil and only thought about war.

It's like, wait, you just worded it differently.

I know.

Because you just said they took their land and dominated.

Yeah.

Anyway.

No, exactly.

They're hunter-gatherer.

I don't know why they do that.

Pretty much hunter-gatherers.

I think it's just, yeah, if you come out and you're like,

they're pretty, as soon as you start the discussion, everyone's just kind of like, like, bro, bro, this is not what we're doing right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I did, I did a deep dive into kind of like land acknowledgements.

Just curious, like, did Native Americans really even give a shit?

Or is this just like?

I met a couple that did.

Really?

Yeah.

I, I, my, I would, and again, I'm reading like a Reddit thread, but like, some of them are like, no, they're just kind of laughable.

Yeah.

They're like, the idea of even owning land was like foreign to us.

We don't even, it's like the land's our mother, blah, blah, blah.

They can fucking miss me with that, too.

They took over the land.

They drove other tribes off the land.

I know.

the fuck well it's mommy dude yeah there get off my mama he was pushing yeah there it goes my mama get off my mama your mama's over there this is my mama over here your mama's up north now you have to live in the snow

but yeah i was like reading it and there there was but the whole thing though it all boils down to like if you're gonna do a land it's a land acknowledgement is just like the tip of the iceberg what you're supposed to do is do like a land acknowledgement that then dovetails into like and also i talk to the people myself and then it all boils down to like, they have a Venmo.

If you really, you're supposed to like send cash their way after the land acknowledgement, which I was just kind of like, okay, there we go.

Nice.

There you go.

Yeah, there's the bottom.

If you want to do a true blue land acknowledgement, you have to like, first of all, I think you're supposed to like be in talks with the people.

I think it's not enough for you to be like, this land was actually broken.

The Great Outdoors one in Canada brings

it's like they bring somebody from the tribe.

Really?

You do a land acknowledgement, and then you have to talk to them after.

They gave me a nice thing of beads.

Ooh.

Like a sash.

That's nice.

That's pretty sick.

That's really cool.

Yeah.

I like that.

Where are they?

It's in my room.

Nice.

Yeah.

Dude, speaking of beads, I recently,

I tried to do a joke about this, but

no one's having it at all.

Did I tell you about the Chinese and like the medieval China tradition and like southern China where Marco Polo found out that like in certain provinces, if you were a guest of a Chinese household, you would be urged by the husband to have sex with his wife and all of his daughters.

Yes, you told me about this.

Dude, I didn't, I thought it was just like his wife.

It's the all, they would leave for three days.

I did more investigations into this.

Well, the hottest tradition you've ever heard.

Yeah, I'm sure you did some real deep dive.

Well, I looked it up the one time.

I like stumbled upon it.

I just like stumbled upon the information.

I swear to God, they were like,

you would have to like, it was like,

I mean, this is why I don't think it works on stage because it's tough to phrase it, but it's like, they said originally, like the wife would choose if she wanted to have sex with you.

Then I looked back into it and Grock was like, dude, yeah, right.

But it goes deeper than that, though, because apparently back then

in certain provinces, the more sexual partners your daughters had, the more desirable of a bride she would be.

They damn flipped the thing on the head.

So like you would, like Marco Polo, whoever, which by the way, Marco Polo stayed there for 17 years.

Go figure it.

But you'd have to present them with a small gift, like a bead or something that's what it reminds me that's why you reminded me and then on your on your wedding day on your wedding night your bride would hit you with all of her little sex gifts and the more you saw you'd be like yes so as a father it was the opposite you wanted your wife to you wanted your well your your wife but also your daughters have as many sexual partners as possible because then it was like she was experienced and she'd make a better brain it was like tied to some weird fertility cult stuff from like way back in the day so i think and then but i think in another part of china they were like we are not down with that shit.

They needed Christ, dude.

I think it for real, yeah, yeah, dude.

Marco should have been like, here's the real deal.

I think Marco is like, let me get to that.

I am a travel writer.

I'm a travel writer after all.

He was Bourdain.

Yeah, I didn't realize he was there for 17 fucking years.

He's in China forever.

I didn't know he was there that long.

Yeah, dude.

Because he wrote a whole book where he talks about

all of his adventures.

Yeah, people, then people get like, oh, that's just him romanticizing.

But it's just like, dude, I don't know.

Why would he fucking...

That'd be a crazy call to him.

Damn, getting hit with the gifts on the wedding night would be like, oh, oh, shit.

Yeah, but it was, that was their whole, damn, that was the world where you'd be like, this is sick.

So that's the thing, of course.

So it wasn't even like, it was like, imagine, like, your dad would be like, oh, shit, here comes a traveler, some filthy Italian guy, and just go, here, come into my house.

The dad would walk, just leave for three days.

And it was,

I don't know, I'm being respectful.

It was free use.

Don't get me stuck.

For three fucking days, bro.

Fucking Asian free use.

With a whole Chinese family.

You're talking Chinese moms and daughters free use.

Yes, dude.

For beads.

For beads.

For beads.

And then the women of the house would hang a hat on the door.

So that was like the father would walk by the door and see the hat on and be like, sick.

And then just walk, just leave for two more days.

And then finally, the hat would be gone after like three, four days.

And he would come back to his house and be like, hey, guys.

Hey.

Fucking wild.

Yeah, that's tough.

Isn't that wild?

Sure.

How do you not have other people's kids?

I don't know.

Maybe that's where.

Apparently, this was, and again, this is all internet stuff.

They said it was more so the Uyghurs.

So maybe that's why those Uyghurs are so fucking light-skinned.

So, yeah.

Pretty wild.

Wild and crazy stuff.

They didn't say it was put it on the weegues.

Well, they were like that.

It was some of that area.

The Uyghurs went from that to fucking Islam?

I mean,

I don't bring you to Islam.

Again, this is all like very, you know, not the deepest.

I don't know

stuff.

It was only in certain problems.

It sounds like this fucking hippie mumbo jumbo.

It's not hippie mumbo jumbo.

Dude, Marco Polo is like, there is this guy.

I know, I know that, but I'm saying, like, uh, when they're like in back in early civilization, women ruled and we had sex with everyone, and sexuality was made up.

No, they were pretty clear.

They were like, this was not up to women.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I know what you mean.

But multiple partners is totally excited.

I've heard that shit where there's like that poly bullshit.

Dude, people will hit that.

Like, you know, there actually were women-led societies, blah, blah, blah.

And it's like, whenever you go, okay, give me one, name one.

Name one.

It's well, it's well documented.

It's well documented.

There were certain tribes where

the men did the cooking and women hunted.

Women hunted Buffalo and just fucked guys like season three of season four of True Detective.

Yeah,

I've heard that.

I have read people that say like that, like way, way, way back before agriculture, there were, or maybe during the beginning of agriculture, there were female, like where they were just like, well, that's where babies come from.

These guys are the rulers.

But then I think it was like the desert people were more patriarchal.

This is all made up.

Take it up with Joseph Campbell.

Before agriculture, you're talking about what societies were like?

They have no idea.

Take it up with Joseph Campbell.

I'll punch Joseph Campbell.

I'm going to punch him though.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't want to hear one person tell me about anything pre-agriculture.

Dude, I don't know.

I don't know how.

It's just made up.

Yeah, that's a fair point.

Fully made up.

That's a fair point.

I don't know, though, dude.

Cause like we knew.

We don't know shit.

We knew like the what the Greeks and the Jews were all patriarchy.

That's way after agriculture.

So that's way after ag.

Yeah.

Fuck.

Yeah, I don't know.

That's way after.

Yeah, true.

That was a lot.

Buildings and shit.

Yeah, you're right.

You're right.

No, pre-agriculture is.

Sean, look up, look up women-led societies and the dawn of civilization.

Oh, there's going to be a lot.

You want to find a lot of lies.

I want to see how they prove it, though.

That's what I'm curious about.

I'll keep looking it up, but they had a bunch that I, you know, I never heard of none of that stuff before.

Like, who?

Let me see.

Iroquois tribes, the Mosu in China,

a certain apostrophe

societies.

So the girls would be like, here's what we're doing, or like, how do they really hold that down?

I think it's different.

Yeah, I'd like to hear about the Iroquois.

Clan mothers were in the Iroquois, apparently.

And they appointed or removed male chiefs.

So I guess they had

the leader.

Yeah, it was a guy.

Okay.

Yeah.

That's a fair point.

I don't know.

Yeah.

But then who's really the chief?

The chief.

Who's the chief?

The guy is.

Dang, that would suck if your wife removed you from chief.

That would be tough.

That would be so tough.

That would be tough.

You'd have to fight her.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, good research.

Good research.

Yeah, because that is a good point, though, because I was like, how the fuck do these people talk about this stuff?

It's like pre-written history.

They're just

find like tools and old campsites, and they're like, the woman was probably in that room.

They pick it up, they go, that was pretty fucking lucky.

Yeah, girl tool.

Girl tool.

This one had a lot of beads on it in its tomb slot.

Yeah, true.

It is funny to find like scraps of beads and be like, in this house, the daughters were going to sit in there.

Marco Polo would fuck them.

As long as he wanted.

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Yeah, the whole China, having sex with an entire Chinese family is, man, that's crazy.

That's what's up.

It's crazy to think of that.

That's what's up.

It's interesting.

It's interesting that it's interesting.

I've never really thought about free use on an entire family.

I've never really thought about free use in a family.

So the father would bring you in the house and leave for three days a very good day.

And the father would leave.

Interesting.

And what would you do again?

Remind me?

They would just go about their chores and you would have your way with them while they were working, maybe doing the dishes.

And then that is interesting.

At the end of the day, at the end of the day, it was the father was happy about it.

That's yeah,

yeah, I've never heard of that before.

No, I've never watched that

fucking three times a week.

But yeah, yeah, poor, man, Marco Polo, man.

What a great guy.

Hell of a run.

Guy's guy.

Truly a guy's guy.

That's a guy's guy.

But it's so funny.

I think Genghis Khan was into some free use himself.

Yeah.

He was on a free use.

A mad one, bro.

He put in like the Contra Infinite.

Yeah, bro.

Isn't like 25% of China regularly.

I think the rules related to Genghis.

Crap.

I think Marco Polo chilled with Kublai Khan, actually.

Yeah.

I think so, too.

I think he was in Kublai Khan's fucking squad, yeah.

Yeah.

He chilled with the Khan himself.

That must have been fucking so crazy going to a completely different world with no idea what was going on over there.

And I think Kublai was about to start fucking shit up.

Like really not doing great.

Oh, no.

Yeah.

Once Genghis died, I think they had a short.

I could be wrong.

Kubla might have done well.

I think he was rocking, but again, from what I hear.

He was off his daddy, dude.

He might have been a bit of a Shane O'Mac, though.

I think he was still doing stunts.

I think he was still stunting on him, but he was no Vince.

Dude, I'm so happy you opened my eyes to Shane O'Mac because I

left off with him when I was like 10.

I hate that.

I left off with being like, yo, fuck Shane O'Mac.

Yeah, fucking pussy.

And then you see the highlights, you go, damn, this guy was giving it us all.

When you brought up Shane O'Mac to me, for real, I had to stop.

I almost turned around and jacked your collar.

I'm like, what the fuck?

What are you saying?

What do you mean?

What do you mean he's cool?

I understand.

Of course, dude, you don't think I had a deep hatred for him.

There's one other guy on earth named Shane, and he's a

fucking pussy.

And then I was wrong.

He was the man.

Dude, I mean, those cages have to be.

Let me, what is the exact height on those things?

It looks to me like 30-something,

25 feet.

The hell as hell, bro.

Yeah, they're high as hell.

25 feet.

Some of those are jumping off were like 40 feet.

Yeah, going off super high.

No, the like side of the fucking Titan Tron, dude.

Yes.

Fuck, that's what that was?

Yeah.

Oh, my God, dude.

dude.

Yeah, that's.

I didn't know.

Also, you didn't know about Versus commercials.

I didn't know about that.

I didn't know what Versus was.

I thought it was where two old rappers go head to head.

No.

No, it's a fishing channel.

Fishing and Pac-12 football.

And rodeo.

Like Mountain West basketball.

Oh.

Yeah, those commercials, those fucking runs were crazy.

So intense.

And what year was that?

They were way ahead of their time.

That was probably like 05.

06.

Way ahead of time.

Yeah, they're making some

shout out to whoever made that versus go to YouTube and type in versus commercials.

Yeah, man, it was just putting together just the best locker room speeches you've ever heard.

Unbelievable, man.

Just get fired up.

The funny thing, though, is during the commercial, it'll cut to like a hunting highlight.

Yeah, and that makes me laugh.

Yeah, it's like it's you versus them, you versus history.

And then it cuts like a scope on a deer that's like, what the fuck did I do?

Second place, deer.

True, you put it that way.

Second place does stink if you get eaten.

Maybe you like flies in your soup.

I like second place like I like a fly in my soup.

Not at all.

It's good stuff.

That was great stuff.

Yes.

Okay, okay.

A quick break from the show for a special segment called More or Less Hoops Edition.

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I like that.

I do like Steph Curry.

Me too.

I think he's a very talented player.

Who else do you like?

It was very interesting.

Interesting.

It's interesting.

I've never thought of it like that.

I would pick

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Yeah, I'd stack them.

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Prospects are on your game.

Are you excited for the 76ers tonight?

I can't fucking wait.

Yeah, I wish Jared McCain was healthy.

Didn't he hurt his fucking thumbnail?

Yeah, he's going through a hard time, but he's going to come back.

He's going to be great.

Vijay's going to be.

Yeah.

I think VJ is.

Who are the Sixers playing?

Celtics.

Oh, nice.

Yeah, it's a good game one.

one.

Fuck the Celtics.

Fuck the Celtics and me now with my whole heart.

And

I do think we got him.

Now, this is a lie.

I think we got him, though.

Joe's playing.

Paul's not playing.

No McCain.

But I think we got him.

Be all right.

Yeah.

Maxie.

Maxie's looking the best he's ever looked, Paul's.

Great.

I said Paul's.

It's okay.

No, it's totally fair.

Jerry McCain's looking as good as he's ever looked.

No Paul's on that.

No Paul's.

Yeah.

Reeve.

They got the black jerseys.

Black jerseys look nice.

I was against them at first.

The black jerseys look nice.

Sixers going black jerseys.

Yeah, they're bringing back the AI.

I remember those.

They're fucking awesome.

I wish they brought back the true AIs, like that were like

and one

giant jersey.

Everybody has to wear black.

Joelle would look good in that.

I was just going to say Joelle would look good anything, but I love Joelle.

I love Joelle.

You're ready to get fooled again, dude.

You're ready.

Your heart's back in it.

I get X and B on me.

That's just being a sports fan, dude.

Week one, every year, you go, dude, I think we're going to win it.

All offseason, I'd be like, they're going to be so bad.

Who cares?

I'm barely going to watch.

That's all I'm thinking about.

I've seen the Sixers hype start growing again.

That's good.

It's because Joe's healthy.

When he's healthy, it's just like, we can do anything.

How many years do you think he has left in him?

Okay.

Well, we'll see how this one goes.

Yeah, yeah.

But if he's not healthy this year, then it might be it.

Yeah.

But

if he is, I think he's got two or three.

If he's healthy.

Yep.

Just got to rest him.

Do we have a backup center?

We got two.

Bona.

Dembona looks good.

He's young.

What's his name?

Bona.

A Dembona.

A Dembona.

Dembonas.

Dembonas.

We need Dembonas.

Dembonas is coming in.

So, wait, so just to recap, you said Dembona's looking good.

Dembona's looking pretty good right now.

All right, we got good Dembonas.

What else we got?

What's the other backup's name?

Guy's butt?

Got Guy's Butts and Dembonas.

Do you know who the other one is?

Audrey Droba.

I wish he was.

All right, we got Drum.

Yeah, we got Drauba.

Nice.

It's come to my attention there's a tall Asian feller, too, kicking around the league again.

Is there?

Yeah, there's a super tall Asian guy.

Ruby Hachamoro.

But he's black.

He wouldn't have stood out as

an Asian, like a.

Oh, oh,

from Memphis.

Yeah.

What's his name?

He went to Purdue.

He was at my show.

We hung out with him.

Nice.

Zach Edie, yeah.

I believe so.

Edie's the man.

Tall as hell, right?

Hung out with him a couple times.

He's the man.

Someone has hit me with some of his highlights.

He's awesome.

What's funny?

He's like, wait till you see this guy.

And it was just very like.

He's just just tall man basketball.

Yeah.

He's like,

I took a picture with him.

I look like a

literally just a short, fat ladder.

If you get rid of my height, I look fucking insane.

I was coming up to like his stomach.

I was like,

I went full.

I look exactly like the Megabus logo.

Because he's seven feet, right?

Yeah.

Fuck.

He's taller than that.

That's bullshit.

You should be like, bro, you're like, literally, this is what I look like in the picture.

I'm the Megabus logo.

Devastating photo.

Oh, fuck.

I'll find it.

I got some good ones with the Akan Man the other day.

Akan Man's gut was out.

Oh, no.

He's grinched.

What happened?

I thought he was fucking locked in.

He was not locked in that day.

He looks like the Philly fanatic.

He looks insane, dude.

He'll have abs and fucking weak.

He's the king of the temporary lock-in,

which I mean, I.

He can gut out like no one.

That's awesome.

He just gets a huge belly.

I mean, yeah, I guess if you get the six-pack fast, you got to get the belly fast, too.

It's got to be both ways.

I got to find this one.

I like that, though.

He looked good with that belly on him.

I like the belly.

Also, when'd you get that photo?

That was when I was in Philly.

He went to the Eagles game, and he was a.

He went to the Phillies, then the Eagles back to back then.

And the Eagles was at one o'clock.

He came.

I ran into him.

I wasn't drinking at all.

And I ran into him and I was just like,

dude, you need to go home.

You're awful.

He was.

This is how drunk he was.

He was falling asleep at the bar.

He was trying to watch the rest of the NFL games on his phone.

Beast.

He went to the bathroom.

I would change his phone to

YouTube full game 2010,

the exact same matchup.

And he's just

at

one point it cut to Tom Brady throwing a touchdown to Wes Welker like a highlight.

And he was like.

He just watched.

He watched 2010, like, Box Falcon.

You are the devil, dude.

It was so funny.

It's such a funny thing to do.

Oh, fuck.

He's like, what the fuck is this?

Oh, fuck.

God damn it.

I got to find this picture of me and Edie.

Oh, that's so fucking funny.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, if someone's significantly taller than me, I look nuts in the photo.

As soon as we took it, I was like,

delete it.

No, I think

I was honorable with that.

I posted it on the internet.

Yeah, man.

He's everyone knows it.

He's like, this is hilarious.

Everyone's like, you look like a bitch.

Fuck you.

I'm going to put down social media.

Yeah, it's totally unnecessary.

You're like, you know,

it's just been

literally, it just hurts me now.

Yeah.

I just go, oh, I'd like to be hurt.

Yep.

All right, good.

Let's go.

Three minutes of watching a show.

I go, this scene's boring.

Let's get hurt.

All right.

There we go.

That one really hurt.

You know, I was in the shower today and I, I, uh, I don't know if this is like the dumbest thing ever, but I was thinking how 97% of people, I think maybe even 98, are like terrified of public speaking.

Yeah.

And if you ask anyone, like, would you like to be famous?

It'd be like, more than anything ever.

It's like, well, dude, it's the literal fear of public.

You're just being stared at.

You're constantly perceived.

Yeah.

It's a bad feeling.

It's bad.

I mean, yeah, unless you're a psycho that likes being perceived.

Yeah, true.

But I don't like it.

I hate it.

I've been streaking down with the melancholy, dude.

I went for a walk the other day.

Yesterday, I was

going through it.

I was like, I don't have anyone to even talk to about this stuff.

Yeah, true.

Yeah.

Like, yeah, I see everyone saying I fucking stick.

Yeah, I got a message the other day from a lady just going, hey, just so you know, me and my boyfriend watch a special.

It sucks so bad.

I hate it.

And I just watched it.

I was like, goddamn, dude.

Like a nice little message.

From a lady.

I said, what the fuck?

From a lady?

I expect this from a guy, but what the hell?

Why do a lady go out of her way to fucking take me down?

Yeah, lady.

Lady hurts.

I was like, what are you pulling my pigtails or something?

Yeah.

She got me.

I gave him the God bless.

I wanted a God bless.

Yeah, God bless you.

This is just God bless, man.

I hit a lot of God blesses.

Yeah, it is God bless.

Yeah, it is.

It's a weird thing to complain about.

Dude, you must be on cloud nine.

Like, no, I'm deeply depressed right now.

That's good you get that.

I get nothing but like, are you all right?

Really?

Yeah.

I get like people like, that must be really hard what you're doing.

It must suck.

And then you're like, well, there's good parts.

I like it.

I like what I do.

I get a lot like, are you excited?

You're like, no.

I know I have the same feeling every day.

It's just fucking kind of weird anxiety.

Yeah, it's not good.

You do have to be a psycho, dude.

Yeah.

Enjoy it.

Yeah, to step in.

And then you're like, I see how Chappelle left for a while.

Yeah.

There's a daydream all the time where I'm like,

I could leave.

I could leave for a few years.

Yeah, I think, I also think it's...

Yeah, I feel like, yeah, it's not a bad thing.

I probably will.

Give me two more years and I'm

going to go away for a while.

That'd be nice.

If I can.

can, a lot of people have a tough time leaving.

Yeah, true.

You gotta get off the stage for them to want you back on the stage.

That's true.

You know?

Yeah, but you gotta, but you also got to do a cool new look.

You can't, you gotta go.

Lettering grew the beard, dude.

You gotta do a cool look.

You gotta do something sick, dude.

I've got it.

I'm gonna change the pigmentation of my skin.

I'm gonna go away for six years

and come back black as hell.

So my question was, would you be Shane Bad or Shane Quake?

Shane Quake.

We'll see.

We'll see if I'm on a weight loss journey while I'm doing it.

Shane Rock, Shane Bad, or Shane Quake?

Or Shane Smith?

Shane Smith.

Shane Smith.

Bonkers, dude.

I'm going back fucking slapping people, screaming.

Shane Smith.

Not to be confused with the guy who does vice.

True.

Yeah, I think about it.

Yeah.

Well, yeah, it'd be nice.

But then it's, yeah, like, what would you do if you did a pure sabbatical?

I don't know.

Just goom?

Probably.

Not just goom jack off

for five years.

That'd be like a monk-like existence.

Don't talk to anyone.

Just disappear, go to Madrid, jack off for five years, come back

black.

Come back black as hell.

Chappelle came back jacked.

Do you remember that?

Yeah, he came back.

Bro, he came back yoked.

He was too jacked.

True.

He came back jacked.

His head didn't quite fit.

He did get absolutely yoked.

Yeah, when he left, he was so skinny.

Yeah.

I'd have to, just in honor of that, I'd probably

sex change.

Yeah, we'd have to come back.

Because

if you're coming back with a pig and function therapy.

The brothers could come back.

I could just keep on my normal life.

Like, oh, shit, there's a guy's a girl now.

Yeah.

Yeah, we'll see.

Yeah, true.

True motherfucking stricken down with the melancholy.

And it's probably the sickness as well.

Sickness will do it.

And the illness will give me some melancholy.

Yeah.

But we'll be all right.

Yeah.

I mean, you just have to break through to a whole other level.

You know what I'm saying?

Oh, yeah.

I've thought about it.

I've been laying in this room thinking about the changes that need to be made.

Total lock-in.

It starts with getting rid of fake friends.

It's time for me to completely isolate myself.

I've reached that level of fame.

Now it's isolation.

True, you might have to do Luke Skywalker on the mountain.

Yeah.

That'd be sick.

You come back and you're like, dude, my dinosaur.

I thought about the best Down syndrome syndrome joke of all time.

Hell, motherfucking, yeah.

Yeah, baby.

Yeah.

You know what's nice right now for me?

I wake up every morning at 6:30, and there's a bunny in my front yard every day, and my dog chases it around for a good like minute and a half, and my kids just go nuts every day at 6:30.

It's been pretty fun.

That's good stuff.

Matilda doesn't, she doesn't try to bite it.

She just wants, she's thrilled with the chase.

We just get to watch it every morning.

I'm like, that's like that.

And then reading about about it.

It's coming.

Well, she's going to bite it?

I don't think she's going to bite it, dude.

She's going to bite that.

I'm telling you, she chases frogs.

She just, she just, she's all about, she loves.

She

could get it, dude.

If she wanted that bunny, it'd be hers.

Yeah.

But no, she doesn't, she doesn't fuck with the bunny.

She chases it around.

My daughter's screaming.

I'm like, you guys got to be quiet, dude.

It's still dark out.

They're like, ah, a bunny.

Ah!

Ah, I'm a daughter.

So, yeah, they're still.

Yeah, having kids would be nice.

Yeah, that does.

That occupies 97% of your brain,

which is nice.

There's nothing to think about.

It's just you like wake up every morning.

They're there.

You never sleep.

They FaceTime you.

Do the dinosaur face.

Every time I'm traveling, I call them like, hey guys, how you doing?

Be a dragon.

I have to just put the dragon head filter on, and they just go, ha ha.

How you guys?

I'm like, how are you guys?

That's good.

Do the unicorn.

Stick out your tongue.

This is what happens when I'm on the road.

LeMer FaceTimes me.

LeMaire FaceTimes me.

He's like, will you do dragon?

I put him to bed.

LeMaire goes to bed.

He face times and I go, you'll be all right.

I'll be home.

I'll be home, brother.

Shane, where are you?

What day are you coming home?

Shane, can I jack off in the office again?

Yeah.

Go ahead, man.

Yeah,

I did like two.

One day it was a seven-day trip, and then I had like a week off, and then went to, I did like a four to five.

They were not happy.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that was like i gotta go away again and they went oh my car guys just kind of sucks i always tell them i cry i'm like guys i'm gonna cry again they're like don't cry i was like all right if you guys don't cry i won't cry and then i you know trick them keeps me working yeah you get in the car you go

free time

now i can work on my laptop now i can around yeah but i i feel crazy dude when i like because i go to a hotel room and i'm so used to there being a million things going on when it's like quiet i get like the heebie jeebies i i just sit there and i go what the fuck oh yeah especially coming shows a real heebie jeebies

where the fuck am i dude yeah man especially when you come out from like you do the two shows it's just like you're like

like vibrating and then it's like ice cold quiet hotel room and it's like dude i don't feel like watching like if i like go to watch tv i just flicker through a menu of netflix and i go

I just turn it off.

Yeah.

And then I go, I'm just going to lay down until I fall asleep.

And then my body's just throttled with adrenaline.

And it's just

all roads truly do lead to the hub, dude, when you're in a hotel room.

It's, it's, it's terrible.

You got to have about 20 beers and then you got to watch Rude von Nesseroy all goals scored for Manchester United.

That's a good 40 minutes.

You really do see the drinking because you go like, I got to do something.

Yeah.

I got it.

I'm back in this room by myself.

I'm completely charged up.

Yeah.

I just, I literally go running.

You got to get back into acid.

That shit rocked.

Acid fucking rock.

We're going to have to find another time in the future.

Yes, for sure.

Earlier.

Take it earlier, too.

Yeah.

That'd be nice.

So we'd have to.

So we can go to bed.

Yes.

Hopefully.

Yeah.

Or even, you know, even if you went to bed by three, that'd be a victory.

Staying up all night on that stuff and flying home was not the fucking recipe for

that was dude.

That airport was, I woke up.

That would talk about going to the airport early.

That day, I woke up, walked around.

I didn't even, I barely slept.

I just walked around with a suitcase around Chicago like a fucking crazy person.

Went to the airport so early, and I, I, for some reason, like wouldn't eat.

I was like, no, food would not be the move.

And I just, it was, yeah, it was a weird time.

That was a weird time.

That was a weird time.

That was a weird

time.

That was a day of my life.

It was a weird time.

I was so happy to be back in the natural rhythm.

I had been like, no, no more coffee, nothing, sunrise, sunset.

If I can just inhabit those days, that'll be nice.

And, you know, I'm already back on the devil bean.

Don't worry about the bean, dude.

It's fine.

I have the bean.

The beans are controlling.

You're trying to handle the bean.

The beans under control for sure.

Dude, I got fucking.

Did you ever get control?

Might have an intervention for you.

For the bean?

Yeah.

Dude, we're going to sit you down and be like, dude, you've had too many beans.

Call my wife.

She'll lead it.

She'll do it.

She's like, you get so mean when you're on caffeine.

When you're on the bean.

I need it.

Shut up.

When you're on the bean.

Dude, I got car sick for the first time in my life.

That sucks.

The electric Mustang.

It's only that car.

I was in the Electric Mustang and I was just like...

Sitting there.

I'm like, oh my God, I feel fucking awful.

And again, I'd like, I'd beamed up pretty hard.

Fuck's driving an electric Mustang.

Uber driver.

Damn.

So I'm like in that thing, dude.

It goes, it just rockets forward and they let go of the gas.

It stops, right?

Stops.

Yeah.

I was fucking dying, dude, in there.

And then I was like, I thought it was the coffee.

I was like, dude, what the?

Am I like, what the fuck's going on?

I felt sick.

I had a headache.

It's the fucking bean.

You haven't withdrawals from the bean.

I thought it was the bean.

And then it was brought to my attention that the Electric Mustangs are notorious for it.

It was like a 45-minute ride.

That sucks.

Oh, I was trapped.

I was dying.

I was truly fucking dying.

So

it was, you know, look out for that.

I'll keep an eye on it.

If you get the electric Mustang Uber, careful.

Yeah, that would fire me up.

The only time I ever drove a Tesla, it was doing that.

Really?

And I guess you can adjust the settings to make it kind of come to a rolling stop.

Yeah.

I did not.

So it was just

the whole fucking drive.

I think if you're driving,

I think it's better, though, if you're driving, you're not driving.

I was in the backseat.

I've never, I thought it was like a fake girl disease, dude.

I got for real, got motion.

Car sickness.

That's what I thought it was.

Yeah.

Until I got stricken with it.

I said, Holy car sickness is definitely babies and girls.

Oh, yeah, big time.

I get that's that's the number one post-fight driving in post-fight silence.

That's how the cold war on.

They'll go,

what, what?

I have

motion sickness.

And you're like, fucking Jesus.

What the fuck kind of abuse is?

This is a new form of abuse.

Do you want me to?

There's nothing you can do.

The only thing you can do is speed up.

Your exit's coming up.

I thought you had fucking motion sickness.

Shut the fuck up.

Our exit's coming up.

We're going right into a pillar.

This is our last exit.

But yeah,

I'm happy to be back now, not doing a million podcasts.

That makes your brain feel kind of crazy.

Yeah.

After a while, just non-stop of like, yeah, so, oh, yeah.

Oh, yes, for sure.

Yeah,

I don't want to do any more podcasts.

Yeah.

Other than this one.

Yeah.

I don't like giving opinions.

True.

Done.

I don't have any more opinions.

I said them all eight years ago.

I haven't thought of anything new.

I haven't changed.

Yeah, there's really, also too now.

It's too high stakes.

There's a big moral shell game going on.

The opinions I have.

I know.

Fluctuates day to day.

You could catch me after a long night of watching Nick Fuentes' highlights on Instagram, and I'm going to give you some crazy opinions.

Also, when I really, whenever it depends on what algorithm I got.

I know.

When I sit down and think about it, it's like, how do I really think?

Whenever I go, honestly, how do you really think, feel about this?

At the root of it, I go, I genuinely have no idea.

Yeah.

Like, I don't know how it works.

I don't know anything about it.

Most of this is just me wanting something to be true or having an automatic reaction where I go, yeah.

And as soon as I investigate it myself, like, like, how do you really think?

It goes, yeah, I'm kind of full of shit on this.

I have no, I I have genuinely no idea.

I just have my biases, and I just go, yeah, well, fucking, I don't know.

That's how, that's how I feel about that.

That's how I operate.

And I've seen a lot of videos that support that.

And there we go.

We're done.

But yeah, now, dude, you get into the

there's a lot of like demonology talk now with tech billionaires.

Peter.

I've seen Peter too.

Still talking with the Antichrist.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then Tucker had a guy on, too, that was talking about like, he had Alex Jones and this other guy talking about the one.

I listened to the Jones one.

Jones one was nice.

I listened to that on a plane, just talking about like talking to the DMT entities, like get rid of the human population.

So be on the lookout for that, guys.

What's going on with the demonology?

They're just saying, like, all these tech people have been doing like DMT and are talking to these entities that

Alex Jones believes are like legit spiritual entities that are like demonic, obviously, that are telling tech billionaires to eradicate.

And the worst part was Alex Jones specifically said they get these like jester-like figures.

And I went, I got bullied by the jester, that bastard dude.

He didn't tell me to depopulate.

He just literally just made fun of me.

Depopulate would be nice.

Yeah, that's what that's apparently.

That's what he's saying.

They're all

getting the signal to depop and get rid of a bunch of people and just like rein in AI to kind of like reign supreme.

And it's, you know, I know, dude.

It is pure nerd stuff.

You miss me with the nerd AI shit.

I know.

Someone's got to stop them.

I'm watching college football, dude.

True.

I have no time for your computers.

Shut up.

Grok sucks.

Grok.

I will say, dude, my thing is it's useful if you need to be like, hey, I'm reading a book.

Is this true?

Or like, do you have any other...

You can research with it and it's not bad.

Yeah.

But to be like, it's going to completely control all of society one day.

It's Google.

Yeah, that's kind of

a fast Google.

It's a more comprehensive Google for sure.

That can be wrong.

Oh, now you're back on your AI stuff?

I'm just chilling.

Well, then what was that nasty little face?

It's over, dude.

We're cooked.

They already won.

I don't think so, man, because they're talking about the super intelligent.

Oh, dude.

And they're like anti-humanists.

They're trying to become like trans-human.

They're trying to ascend past people.

The tech billionaires, the guy with the AI idea.

They do want to live forever.

And that's kind of they're saying like that might be on the table.

Yeah.

But also, who wants to be a nerd forever?

Not me.

Just an eternal nerd.

Eternal nerd.

I'm not trying to come at Zuckerberg.

You give that guy two more thousand years.

And they're still going to be like, who the fuck is this nerd?

Finally,

there's going to be a a super bully.

There has to be one chosen one in the next 2,000 years that's going to punch all these guys in the belly.

Statistically, it's coming.

I might start my own AI.

You got to create the ultimate bully.

You've got to create an error, dude, to stop these guys.

I'll live forever.

You guys are actually gay.

Remember when you got a boner in third grade?

I was there.

I did the research.

I recreated it right here.

You got to pour all of your worldly money into a bullying AI.

You guys are fucking losers.

No matter how much money you have, you'll always be a fucking nerd.

Give up.

People never.

They won't find the right combination of cool clothes and jiu-jitsu.

The cool clothes are fucking shit.

The cool clothes are crazy, bro.

Like a box t-shirt and a chain?

What the fuck are you doing?

The best part is,

imagine if I was a billionaire and I hired all kinds of stylists and they just dressed you like a Paul brother.

And you're like, what the hell?

That's what happened.

I got a stylist.

They fucking gave me like 10 Paul Brother shirts.

And I was like, you guys got to get out of here.

I'm not wearing any of these.

Ever.

No.

Because

I wanted.

I was like, I can't buy clothing.

Yes.

There's something in me.

I cannot buy it.

I buy the same thing every time.

I get gym shorts and t-shirts.

I need somebody to buy me one thing.

Yeah.

So I forgot all about it.

And then these ladies came to my hotel room with like racks of clothing.

And they're like, just try these on.

Yeah.

I just had to do like a fashion show for three women.

Yeah.

It was the most embarrassing thing.

I didn't get into that if they like hiked my pants and checked how loose they were on me.

There was some of that, which was very nice.

But

no, when they left, I paid a little visit to the beat-off ferry.

No, it was such a disastrous day.

Dude, I was in LA for, I think, the Super Bowl commercial last year, and I brought my Xbox.

Nice.

I had fucking Banner Lord fired up.

I get to LA.

I'm like, finally, some peace.

Start playing Bannerlord.

There's a ring at the fucking, my hotel phone rang, and they're like, we have some people to see you.

I was like, oh, shit, I forgot about this.

Oh, no.

And then I had to try on literally like

fucking Harry Styles outfits.

Like, fucking like bell bottles.

Like, now,

you do a backflip.

You look like a moron.

I look like a mora.

Hire your sisters and mom to be your stylist.

They are.

That's good.

This is what they bought me in fifth grade, and I'm still doing it.

This is it.

Yeah, no, Brittany got a stylist, and same thing.

I was like, have her get me some pants?

And it was like, it was a battle.

I did get some dungarees out of it.

Yeah.

You do learn about a lot.

I've got some dungarees.

I've learned about a couple of cool things.

Yeah.

But too fat to be wearing cool clothes.

No, dude.

Well, they take it personally when you're like, dude, I hear you, and that's nice, but like, and because you have have to explain to like

that's kind of for pussies they're like what are you talking about that's this is like this is like what i've studied and you're gonna look great and you're like yeah but like and they kind of come at you like oh what you're i guess you're just like not confident like no one's gonna tease you i was like first of all yes they

wouldn't guess

how many people will tease me

it's a number you can't imagine

Millions.

And it's like, dude, Brittany's like, she'll get on my ass about it all the time.

She's like, just because your brothers called you gay when you're in sixth grade doesn't mean you have to dress a certain way forever.

I was like, yes, it does.

It does.

That was good that they did that.

That's a natural.

Yeah.

That's biological.

For sure.

You should have that.

Oh, yeah, dude.

No, it gets because then it gets weird.

Because also, like, I've noticed high black fashion.

First time in my life, I'm going, you guys are good with that.

You guys can have that.

Black guys have found out about Jenkos now?

It peaked in

04.

Yeah.

Black fashion.

G-Unit was probably around then.

I would say Fubu Jerseys, G-Unit, Tip.

Pippa Knots and G-Unit.

The best.

They had it.

Then it was skinny jeans.

Now it's just been.

It was skinny jeans.

Those are just recycling old white guy shit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like, now we're goths.

Now we're vampires.

I know.

I know.

It's coming.

What's going on in the black high fashion world?

Because I feel like you guys have lost your way, if I'm being honest, as brothers.

And that we have, you know, way for Shane, race transes.

race transes if you're gonna race trans

i'm coming back jacked and in jinkos

i'm coming back as jaleo yeah

holding a handbag

i think the jordans are too expensive you can't wait man that fucking jinko shit's so expensive i don't want to hear that

you tell me black fashion has hit a thing where they're finding budgets good luck with that dude that's not the case at all yeah we're talking to nba we're talking to nba pregame we're talking to walkout yeah man those outfits are fucking

sus Sometimes they're sus.

Sus as fuck.

Crazy.

They wear like vests with no undershoots.

Purse, like a rock purse with probably nothing in it.

It's on the flag.

It does make it worse, though.

At least put something in your purse.

Did you see Cameron's bag?

When Cameron paid Adrian Bronner, he had a bunch of cash.

That's what we're missing on the podcast.

We need a designer bag with $100,000 in it.

All right, I'll get it.

And we'll have a guest on every week.

And it's every week.

Yeah, exactly.

That'd be nice.

And then every week.

Nick Bryant.

Yo, bro, snap you.

Just five minutes in every podcast.

Like, you got a roller dog.

You got a roller dog.

I'm going to pay you for your time.

We got to get Cam on here.

That would be sick.

He hit someone with the, I mean, the best pause I've ever seen.

Really?

I think the guy was talking about,

it was an athlete.

And unfortunately, the guy goes, yo, like my fucking head game's crazy.

And I don't know what he was trying to say.

Cameron just goes, okay, hold on.

Big pause.

Big pause.

He got lay on Bell bell with some good ones.

He's like, And I just went to Kansas City and they just knew how to like use me.

And he was like, Hey, yo,

I was going to let the last couple slide, but pause.

Wonderful.

I really love the attention to detail of just like sussing out anything that could be perceived as gay and just stopping a serious interview.

I'm like, well, just so you know what you said, sounds like you're having sex with guys, but otherwise, go on.

I got rogies with one that I just couldn't contain.

Really?

I was doing the podcast with him, and he was showing the highlight of Michael Chandler kicking

Tony Ferguson in the face.

He was like, look at that, just a

ball of muscle just exploding in your face.

I couldn't even, I was like, pause.

It was like a guttural pause.

Andrew Santino got one out of me.

I think it was last year I was on this podcast.

He was talking about the stretch lab.

And I'm like, I heard of that place.

You go to a place where all they do is they stretch you.

And I was like, so we're talking about it.

He goes, This guy has just been stretching me to my limits.

And I was like, bro, I have

to the worst.

I'm on the show, but I was like, yeah, I was like, dude, I don't want to be disrespectful, but obviously, pause.

That's crazy.

Because he had a couple that I was like, I don't want to be rude.

And then it was like, you know, when he just stretches you to your limits.

And I was like, all right, dude, I got you.

Stretched out by a dude.

Just for the record, I just have to throw a quick pause in because this is kind of nuts.

I thought he was doing it on purpose to get it.

Yeah, yeah.

Which maybe he was.

I don't know.

But yeah, it was very funny just to be like stretching me to my limits.

I was like, the health, the people that talk to you about their health They'll hit you with 10 pauses in one Yeah, it's like it's that yeah, I've just been stretching in the morning I get stretched out and then I fucking

I run until my body can't take it and that's just like

so thirsty and then I drink water.

It goes right down my throat

Stop telling me about your gay fucking workouts

Guys, I will be in the Bricktown Comedy Club in Tulsa, Oklahoma this weekend, 1024, 1025.

I will then be in Off the Hook Comedy Club, Naples, Florida, 11-7, 11-8.

Comedy on State, Madison, Wisconsin, 11-14, 11-15.

And then the

Funny Bone Comedy Club, Syracuse, New York, 12-19, 12-20.

Nice.

And stay tuned for a, I think I might go to the Stress Factory, too.

So sick.

Yeah, in New Brunswick.

November 7th and 8th.

November 7th, I'll be in San Francisco.

November 8th, I'll be in Sacramento.

So please go to those.

What about what are you boys?

Any of you guys got anything you want to?

I

come see the fellas?

Here we go.

Yeah, get in front.

If I think the day this comes out, I'll be in Atlanta, Helium,

and Alpharetta

at 8 p.m.

and Optimum Noctus.

When's the next one?

Fuck.

First and third Tuesday of every month.

Yeah, if that works.

Noise.

Thank you.

Please come.

Thank you.

Alpharetta.

Oh, LeMay wants to know.

Look at that.

Le Mayer Noctis.

Hello.

It's Vito.

Hey, Hey, everybody.

I'm going to be in Iowa.

I'm going to be in October 24th and October 25th.

You can mean Iowa?

Des Moines, Iowa.

When?

This weekend.

October 24th, October 25th.

Yeah.

It should be a hoot.

Please come.

That's me.

Go see Le Mayor in Iowa.

That'll be fucking crazy.

Panties in mouth.

I'm all powerlifting right now.

I told you.

I'm heavyweights now.

I'm worried about you.

Why?

That's how you get really fucked up.

No, no, no.

It's like I don't, I go six rep max, so I don't go like as heavy as possible, but I do do run.

You're not doing like deadlifts, are you?

Oh, yeah, heavy deadlifts.

Not I did 205 yesterday.

All right, that's not bad.

Stop keeping that stuff.

I'm keeping it there.

I'm keeping it at a six rep.

Yeah.

Whatever I can do six of, I leave it there.

Dude, you feel so awesome after that.

Yeah.

I leave.

I was doing like circuit training, and I like it, like going high cardio.

Lifting.

Wow.

Fucking rules.

Lifting is the best, dude.

I mean, I still was lifting, but I was doing it like fast and like there's a lot of cardio.

Now I'm doing like lift something heavy, chill, text, go on Twitter,

chill, get hurt,

get hurt by Twitter, I'll show them with my next rep.

Thanks, fellas.

Whoever sent me that?

Yeah, Twitter, I can't even read it because it's like, I'm in, I just had, I get tagged in so many like 97-person things that, like, there's no direct,

you know, I just read and I don't get a lot of insults on Twitter.

Yeah, no, I just get propagandized heavily on Twitter.

Yeah.

I do some research, and it's always, it's, goddamn, Twitter's fucking wild, man.

It's really, it's a really negative space.

You go on there.

It's all negative.

It would be good.

I wish I could fully get into that, though, and be like, fuck yes.

I watched a video today of,

I don't remember the guy's name.

He's a Republican explaining like the shutdown.

He goes, guys, I'm going to be honest with you.

I'm not going to sugarcoat it.

Here's what's going on.

And just fully was like, it's all the Democrats' fault.

And I was in my kitchen laughing, being like, dude, I wish I could just be in here and be like, motherfuckers.

What the fuck?

They gave you a fair bill and you guys responded with $1 trillion to fucking illegal immigrants, you motherfuckers.

I mean, mean, how else are they going to get their votes, brother?

Come on, man.

If what the guy was saying is true, it is damning because he's like, we've tried everything.

Because, you know, they're about to run out of the snap benefits.

I heard about that.

It's not good.

It's not good.

It's not good, dude.

I've seen people putting out the fat twiles on Walmart's, and, dude, Walmart's about to be fucking lit.

Walmart,

battle scene.

It's so funny to be on TikTok being like, I'm about to fuck Walmart up.

It's like, don't go on TikTok and say that, you fucking dumbass.

They have you on camera.

I'm going to do what I have to do and fuck Walmart up.

Lemise, you should get into a Walmart.

I can't fucking.

Just rummage right now.

Well, wait till everyone else is doing it.

Yeah.

And then get in there.

I tried to do that when everyone was protesting in the pandemic, but none of my friends wanted to go.

You wanted to loot a little.

Just a little bit.

Loot the mark?

Dude, the mart is ripe for a looting right now.

I hear a lot of people.

Black ass Nate just shook his head.

I don't like it.

I don't like you thinking about looting.

True.

You're going to get pinched, LeMaire.

I can go.

True.

You have the vest still?

You used to work there.

You could do man on the inside.

True.

You did loot before.

It was cool.

When'd you loot?

You got a good looting in?

You guys should have looted a GameStop.

What were you doing?

Yeah.

Well, he's...

I don't know.

You guys were allowed to loot.

He was working at one.

He's got company ties.

Of course, but.

Inside, man.

The second, everyone was like, nah, it's cool.

You guys can loot for like a couple months.

I would have hit the GameStop.

I wasn't allowed to loot.

You could have looted.

Nah, the Hawks weren't allowed.

Y'all were looting with us a little bit.

There were some Hawks.

Yeah, a little bit.

A little is a fair.

Thank you for saying a little.

Real small amount.

There was just as many defending the targets in Walmarts.

For that fucking fat lady in a wheelchair.

She deserves some respect, dude.

For defending it?

Yeah.

True.

She was trying to keep civilization together.

Yeah.

She probably's at her fucking wit's end.

She's probably like, what the fuck are we doing?

We're not, you can't just take everything.

Yeah, when when I was in Philly, my home Target

my home Target got shut down for a while.

It was a major inconvenience.

That thing got destroyed.

Yeah.

The one on, I think, like in Ball Kinwood got fucking leveled.

But yeah, be careful.

This, this, uh, this, I've seen a lot of people promising that they're going in.

One lady said she made a deal with God where she wasn't going to loot anymore.

But she said, if you guys do loot something, I'd like to have, you know, if you loot me a thing, I would greatly appreciate it.

While you're out looting, just like a grocery list.

Yeah, it was actually kind of nice.

Kind of nice.

Yeah.

A lot of, I saw you had a grocery list?

Well, she was just kind of like, there's some things.

Yeah, if you loot, grab me a couple of things.

She was pretty, pretty modest request.

She's like a pack of noodles and a case of water.

Yeah, some butterfingers.

Yeah.

If there's extra in the cart,

a snack, a treat, we'd be good.

Yeah, it's looking fucking grim, man.

I was telling you, I saw a lady.

It was this compilation of like the everyone's spazzing out of the benefits.

And the lady just did one of the nicer, more constructive posts where she goes, guys, they have these survival packs at Walmart, which you can get like, I think it's 25 meals, 37 bucks.

Just add water.

I think 20,000 calories.

And you can just, if you get one of those, man.

Yeah.

That's paid up.

M-RE.

They trick me.

I think Tucker sells them.

Does he?

Somebody sells them.

Patriot.

Oh.

Four Patriots.

They trick me, dude.

Every once in a while, I go, yeah, I should probably stock up.

The Patriot podcast, Alex Jones.

And then I don't buy groceries, so I would definitely just be going into my fucking doomsday bunker and clearing it out.

I was reading that Vietnam.

Doomsday would happen.

We'd get down there.

I'd be like, oh, you got the bunker?

Dude, I ate everything.

Fuck shit.

Yeah, they were saying they used to make, they would heat, so they get like the rations in Vietnam, and they had a little bit of instant coffee, but they'd have to use C4 to light this little thing.

So you'd have to get a tiny chunk of C4, light it to boil the water.

That's crazy.

It's fucking insane, yeah.

Just a little bit, and you got to get like downwind of it because I don't think the stuff is too good for you to breathe it in.

But yeah, it's just hopefully things turn around, man.

I mean, this is.

i'm not i'm not worried about the snap thing yeah i'm confident they'll get that fixed i think so there's no doubt they don't get that fixed that's a problem but by thanksgiving and christmas that'd be terrible they'll get it fixed yeah they will well yeah if you guys want some more information check out sean blasington's new video dude i watched i caught it first thing this morning it was got you going yeah it was funny because he does a fucking the montage he puts together it's like dude come on man we don't need 30 minutes of these vines this is you're painting a very negative picture right now but then he goes on he goes guys my heart's with all the moms who are suffering.

And then like within 10 minutes, he goes, y'all mad.

Daddy Trump ain't giving you your snacks.

Now you're acting like you're mad.

He's just, I think he's just kind of a troll, but you got to give the people their snacks.

Snacks are a must, bro.

You got to do the snacks.

I didn't realize how many people were on the snack program.

Yeah, I think a fair amount.

A fucking ton of people are on the snack program.

Oh, yeah.

A lot of people, yeah.

So especially, especially Thanksgiving, dude.

You need your snacks.

You need your snacks.

Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Snackless Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Because, dude, the one lady was like, for Thanksgiving, grab one of these ration kits.

And I was like, ooh, that's tough Thanksgiving.

Took me back to, when I was in Philly one time, there was this old, he was this old white guy and he was like, just a kind of a drunk.

And I was in this grocery store in West Philly.

It was kind of like a depressing market.

And

I remember he put a can of, it was like close.

It was like, I think it was like the day before Thanksgiving.

He put a can of spam.

on the thing.

And I was like, fuck, this guy's definitely eating spam by himself on Thanksgiving.

And he like, the lady was like, hold on a second, I gotta do my register.

And he just goes, patience is my strong suit, man.

I'll never forget it.

He's having a good time.

He's like, What a great guy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just about to hit the Hawaiian Thanksgiving.

They love spam in Hawaii, bro.

They do.

Yeah, I don't think I've ever really even, I don't remember having it.

I've tasted it once.

Is it just the inside of a hot dog?

Kind of.

Yeah.

Kind of.

Yeah.

It's like if you made tofu out of like a pig's eyeballs.

Yeah.

It's kind of what it reminds me of personally.

Witches got a hold of some pigs.

Then I have a newt.

Yeah, we did it.

We did.

Anything else you want to talk about?

No, dude, that's it.

Hopefully, next week we'll drift.

I'll be back from this illness.

Yeah, dude.

Thank you for that.

It stinks, man.

Yeah.

It sucks being sick.

Especially talking when you're sick fucking blows.

I'll be all right, man.

Thank you.

What do you got to do this weekend?

Nothing.

Can you recuperate?

I can recuperate.

That's good.

I'm off this weekend.

I got to go to Philly on Monday.

I kind of got a shitty week next week.

Did you really?

I got to go to Philly, and then I got to go to LA next week.

Fuck.

Yeah.

It's going to be tough.

And then San Francisco and Sacramento.

Ooh, nice.

Sacktown.

Yeah.

Sacktown's sweet.

Sacktown is sweet.

Sacktown's sweet.

Hopefully, the Diaz boys show up.

Nice.

All right.

Bye.

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