Ep 552 - The Biggest Pig (feat. Luis J. Gomez)

Speaker 1 The wild wild west.

Speaker 1 And hey, we're here live. Verdance.
We're starting now. The beginning of that didn't count.
Verdansk. Verdance returns the box of rations.
What an insane choice that was. What?

Speaker 1 Say that right away.

Speaker 1 It's pretty crazy.

Speaker 1 Verdansk. Where is Verdansk? Is that just a made-up place in Call of Duty? Yeah.
The original map. I think it's in the Ukraine.
They're getting fucked up.

Speaker 1 Verdansk, Ukraine. Verdansk.
I'm excited. I like Call of Duty is important, man.
Call of Duty is like a. It is for like dudes' well-being.

Speaker 1 I feel like dudes need to play Call of Duty at nighttime now more than ever. I think, yeah.
Men are lonely. It's actually

Speaker 1 dejected, right? Yeah. I got MLB the show going myself.
You what? I got a career going, road to the show, baseball.

Speaker 1 What's going on with it? Taking Joey Weaver. He got drafted.
I went to TCU.

Speaker 1 They included college baseball in it for the beginning, and that got me high school and college. You played high school baseball.
I played a little high school baseball.

Speaker 1 On a video game, you were playing as high schoolers? Don't worry about it. That's crazy.
There's nothing I can do. That's when the career starts.
What do you want me to do? That should be illegal.

Speaker 1 And you were playing as the high duty. You play as girls in Call of Duty, dude.
Dude, shut up. You play as girls in Call of Duty.
Dude, I'll be the chick. She's got like Vitalego.

Speaker 1 That's a character you can choose as a black chick with Vitalego. What? Yeah, it's crazy.
It's got a high sound choice on it. Vitalego, that's the skin.

Speaker 1 Yeah, where she's like got natural camouflage. That's why I chose her.

Speaker 1 The Vitalego community might be the most overrepresented community in the world. It's a very small percentage of people.
Every fucking model I look at's got it. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 They're everywhere. Yeah.
I've never seen one of them in real life. I've seen a couple in real life.
Yeah. Yeah, I take that back.
I think there's that guy that hangs out at the bar by us.

Speaker 1 I saw a Vitilego, bro, walk in. Yeah, I would say there's definitely more.

Speaker 1 I feel like they're outside, bro. There's more than you think.
A lot of them wear makeup to hide it.

Speaker 1 And now it's becoming a thing where they're like normalizing it, and you're like, nah, dude, put that, get that makeup back. No, normalize it.
It's nice. Normalize it.
I'm excited when I see it.

Speaker 1 There was a, I've talked about it before, but there was some albino Indians that worked at the Sabaros in my mall growing up. The original Aryans?

Speaker 1 And I was very excited to see them. What? Every time I go, holy hell.
Dude, I've never. That's something.
I was like in the 90s. I was like, we don't have any differences in Mechanicsburg.

Speaker 1 I didn't, I never even knew Indians could be albino. They were.

Speaker 1 I think no fucking alligators can be anybody can be albino.

Speaker 1 Pooh constrictors, Indians.

Speaker 1 That's a fair point.

Speaker 1 That's exciting. What's like, what was their vibe? They were great.
They were running around. They have to be family owned the Sabarros, and they were just, they were having a good time.

Speaker 1 And that's genetic. Was the fan? Was like a portion of the family? A lot of the fam was albino.
There's albino kids. And the wall, they were right next to the wall.

Speaker 1 In the food court, so they would just run over there. Why did they immigrate to America? Do you think they're being worshipped too much over in the India?

Speaker 1 They're probably on one of those 900-foot towers that everyone in the village carries and drops.

Speaker 1 They keep dropping them. You see those that drop them every day.
No.

Speaker 1 In India, there's some ritual where they build like a giant tower that's like a parade float and they carry it and it collapses every time and everyone has to run. I've seen it.

Speaker 1 It's my algorithm is Indian towers collapsing. India's sick.
India is getting like a lot of recognition right now on social media. Not a lot of it's great.

Speaker 1 I'll be honest with people are being pretty negative towards them. They were negative for a while.
Now they're back. I think so.
It's pretty good. They survived it.

Speaker 1 India got canceled for like a month.

Speaker 1 And now they're back, dude. They're getting that bump.
Well, dude, fucking Ramaswamy's back. He's going to be like the governor of Ohio, I think.
Yeah, Ramaswamy's giving it a shot. He bounced back.

Speaker 1 He was going to be president, but then he spazzed on Twitter. Now he's governor of Ohio.
Not bad.

Speaker 1 Not bad. He's got a lot of time.
Shoot for the moon. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah. Where's Casey? You end up in fucking Ohio.

Speaker 1 Aim for the stars. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And you'll land in Ohio. Well, it's good to be here with Louis J.
Gomez. Thanks, Shane.
I missed you, buddy. I missed you, too.
It's been too long. It has.
What have you been up to? Me?

Speaker 1 Just working hard, man. Working hard.
I told you guys I applied for Beast Games. Applying for Beast Games is...
You applied for Beast Games? I applied for Beast Games.

Speaker 1 That's why we need to move it up a little.

Speaker 1 He's got a meeting this afternoon to apply for Beast Games.

Speaker 1 I don't know how much I'm allowed to say at this point.

Speaker 1 What are the challenges? I don't know. What if they're going to be able to do that?

Speaker 1 They have a gun to my son's head. They're like, how much? $5,000.
Let me pull the trigger.

Speaker 1 What's the layout of that show? I didn't watch it yet. Is it the first time? The first layout is, it was great.
There's like everyone's in the same room, and they offer your row.

Speaker 1 Like, you can eliminate your entire row and take the bribe, the money. Yeah.
But then everyone else in your row is eliminated. And

Speaker 1 it gets up to like $150,000. And people are like, no, I'm staying.
I love you. Got up to a million.
I love you. They did this the entire fucking time.
The million thing made me want to go.

Speaker 1 You think think he's crazy.

Speaker 1 As soon as they hit $100,000, they're like,

Speaker 1 this is what I've been laughing at. I hope you get the show and you bail on five bucks.

Speaker 1 Eliminate 100 people, go 10 bucks. But what if they counter eliminate you? How does that work?

Speaker 1 You get nothing and you're done. Yeah, you could walk out without.
No, it's a psychotic show. $10 million was the grand prize on season one.
But how do you get it, though? I don't understand.

Speaker 1 Well, then there's a bunch of challenges, but the first thing to eliminate half the contestants was like people being greedy and taking it and eliminating everybody. But

Speaker 1 the whole time that everybody was going, I love you, dude. I'll never.
They just met. Yeah, dude.
Within the first hour, there's people crying. It's everyone's crying.
It's crazy. It's actually crazy.

Speaker 1 They're sacrificing themselves. They'll be like, I'll get eliminated for you, dude.
Go win this. You know what I mean? They don't know each other.
They've never met. These are the most insane.

Speaker 1 You're going to fit right in. It's going to be nuts.
You're going to be taking the fuck out of someone for taking the bribe.

Speaker 1 You're going to go insane. You cannot be.
Did you see the one where they're in the cube? Did you watch the whole thing? I watched it. Hold on.
Was Was the cube with three people going in water?

Speaker 1 The guy who didn't take a million got eliminated over like a sandwich.

Speaker 1 So at one point, each group, there's like four groups of 100 people maybe, they have to pick one person that they think is trustworthy that won't take the bribe. Because if you take the bribe,

Speaker 1 your entire team is eliminated and you get to stay.

Speaker 1 And a chance to win. So they have three or four people on this.
They're on this big platform. They're offered a million dollars.

Speaker 1 No, but it starts off as $100,000, and then it's going to keep, they go, it's just going to keep rising. And if you hit the button, you take

Speaker 1 the money, your whole team gets eliminated. Which helps you.
And then you stay in. Which helps you get a chance to get it.

Speaker 1 And it gets to a million dollars, and all four leaders didn't take the million dollars. Out there crying again, they're all doing this again.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 When did that? Are there 99 people watching you? Yes. They're all like, don't do it, please.
That's the best. And there's just guys out there like, I love you guys so much.

Speaker 1 How did they pick the trustworthy people? They picked the most insane.

Speaker 1 yeah they all vote who they think is the most trustworthy i would dude that's my thing i got to get in in the first couple episodes act like i'm a sweetheart

Speaker 1 you got to pick up like a 20 bill and like someone drop this

Speaker 1 this isn't mine anyway i'm just gonna leave it here i would never do care about this stuff

Speaker 1 that would be standing in front of 99 people you just like a kicked off a tv and b like just dashed their hopes of making millions of dollars would be a pretty interesting feeling. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Stand in front of them, like, go.

Speaker 1 Dude, a million dollars. Not doing it is the dumbest thing

Speaker 1 ever. Yeah.
Because at that point, it's supposed to be one person winning $5 million.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the end result is everyone gets eliminated except one person. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 Who won? Who won the whole thing? I didn't finish it. You want to give a spoiler? Sure.
Is Beast Games still ongoing? No, the first season's done. But the guy who won,

Speaker 1 he was like a really nice guy. His kid's got some disease, some like creatine deficiency disorder.
And he's like, dude, he's like, I'm going to use this entire $10 million to cure my son's disease.

Speaker 1 You're like, that's a good guy.

Speaker 1 That guy should win the game. I'm going to buy a jet and hookers.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to spend all my money on hookers from Verdansk. Yeah.
And I'm going to fly them in. Yeah.
Wait, the son can't produce creatine? I guess it's something. I don't know.

Speaker 1 He must not have gone to high school with me.

Speaker 1 All we did was creatine. We just bullied this little kid.
I really used to think creatine was steroids. I thought creatine was like an insane thing.
I had no idea it was a natural thing in your body.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like it's apparently something you kind of have to take, i've learned yeah i take it so do i i don't know what it is i can tell

Speaker 1 you take it too by the way

Speaker 1 you can tell i'm getting off swallow you did get jacked full of water

Speaker 1 drowned

Speaker 1 damn so he used a whole 10 mil you taking creatine i've been taking creatine god damn man taking so much i've been killing every day yeah i like it you're all over it that's good hey matt This episode is brought to you by Prize Picks.

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Me and Lewis are stacking right now. We're T-Maxers.
You're fucking jacked. No, we're T-Maxing right now.

Speaker 1 We're both trying to do endogenous T-Maxers. What's that? Just boost your T with like adaptogens.
Yeah, natural natural. What's an adaptogen? It's like an herb.

Speaker 1 Anything like a natural substance. Basically, adaptogen is just like a word for an herb.

Speaker 1 Your body adapts to the. Yeah, it just gins it up.
Yeah. But yeah, dude, I've been taking Macaulay.
I know you got the maca, maca, sheila jeet,

Speaker 1 what's the macabre jeet and moringa and moringa, bro? I woke up this morning with a boner. What? You're doing the moringa?

Speaker 1 It's my third day on it. I woke up for real, like afflicted, just kind of like, geez.
I don't know. I didn't take anything in the whole flight.
I flew home from London. I was hard for a

Speaker 1 11-hour flight. I had a boner the whole fucking flight.
You want to go rub one out? It was great. I considered it.
You had a private jet. No, I wasn't on a private jet.

Speaker 1 I was just, but i do i jerk off on almost almost every flight i'm on whatever it is with my with the way i sit i have fat thighs so it just feels like my dick is inside of something and i just get turned on by sitting for that long and i gotta go get one out i shoot it right into the sink

Speaker 1 the sink the sink i'll usually line the paper towels and then i you know

Speaker 1 the sink is diabolical come on

Speaker 1 look i've been there with you before brother i'm saying hit the turlet or like a napkin or something the sink is crazy

Speaker 1 i've jacked off yeah I've jayed off flights. Sometimes, like you're saying, I've had that like crazy flight boner.
This is the closest I've considered, and it was 11 hours, bro.

Speaker 1 I would take a nap, I'd wake up, it'd be harder. It'd be 11 hours.
I would have jacked off five times on that flight. It was cool.

Speaker 1 It was cool. On a flight, I will say, you're

Speaker 1 it's a quick one, fast one. Quick one, yeah.
You shoot it, and also my head hurts immediately for some reason. You get like a really nasty headache after I come on like a vampire.

Speaker 1 It's probably because of all like the pills you took to get like super hard, like stimulating. It was probably a

Speaker 1 stem fab thing. Maybe.

Speaker 1 Taking like fucking Molly and I don't take drugs anymore. I stopped smoking weed five months ago.

Speaker 1 Are you totally straight edge? No, I drank here. I shouldn't have, but now I'm back to not drinking again.
This was a lot. What was the thing that sparked this? What sparked your like.

Speaker 1 I wanted to raise my tea. But what, like, what brought it to your attention? My doctor saying I had the tea of a young lady.

Speaker 1 He was like, are you a 20? Every single dude I've ever talked to is like, yeah, I I have no testosterone. I was 339 was my testosterone number.
I don't even know what that means. I'm tired.

Speaker 1 I have no idea. Whoever the big T salesmen are.
It was Joe Rogan.

Speaker 1 They're making fucking money. I've never talked to one guy that's gotten his T check that isn't like dude.
I was talking about this on the podcast. That's why I'm tired all the time.

Speaker 1 It's like, no, you're just getting old. You're fucking tired.
I was talking

Speaker 1 about the podcast, and Tony Hinchcliffe was like, he's like, I'm going to set you up with my T guy. I was like, it's okay, Tony.

Speaker 1 I'm not taking your testosterone.

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Speaker 1 Close your eyes and open your mouth. I'm going to give it to you.

Speaker 1 What are your plans, though? What are you trying to get your tea up to? You want to be more aggressive.

Speaker 1 I want to be more horny. I want to jerk off more horny.
Horny is the angriest guy I've ever made. Flight attack.
You have too much tea. No, I don't.
The doctor was lying, dude.

Speaker 1 I've never met someone with more tea.

Speaker 1 your high tea screaming and dude coughing constantly

Speaker 1 chill out with the tea it's all you do if there was a musinax commercial for tea you'd be the mucus guy i would not have you pegged for low tea did you like you know all this stuff well it was it was uh so for my i'm turning 43 next week it was the lower

Speaker 1 uh lower end of average for my age Yeah, but did you like sleep bad the night before? I know that stuff affects it. Maybe.
I don't know. I mean, it was, you know.

Speaker 1 Well, he can't hurt you if you're just taking like makas.

Speaker 1 I'm taking tongued ali. That's my.
Tonga Ali's nice, too. Yeah, yeah.
That's my shit. Howdy, did it work on you? I think so.
I'm getting my tea tested on April 3rd.

Speaker 1 So we'll see if I've raised my testosterone levels. Nice.
I feel like nobody ever thought about this stuff ever before. No, for sure.
People were mostly fine. Yeah.
Yeah. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 It's too much information. We know too much.

Speaker 1 We were all good. But before we had social media and we can communicate, we used to be able to talk to six people.
Nobody was comparing tea. Nobody was talking about anything.

Speaker 1 I didn't even know what it was. I didn't even know, like, and also, I think it's like kind of a gift from God that it drops off as you get older.
That's the last thing you need. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's to have like high T and be like fucking 50. It's just like you're setting yourself up for the most potent disaster ever.
The thing with it, it's like, I think it's the Manosphere podcasts have

Speaker 1 really fucked a lot of people up. Yeah.
But it all does stem from Rogan. But he was being original.
Yeah, he was original. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 He's just like, now those were his interests, and he got so popular that it's every dude in America's fucking interest. That's a fair point.
He's like, I love jiu-jitsu tea. Space.

Speaker 1 Space is fucking nuts.

Speaker 1 Whoa. I've been on the space train since a young man.
I used to read astromony.

Speaker 1 Astromany. I hated astromany.
I used to read astromedy all the time. Dude, space, animals,

Speaker 1 animals attacking you. Animals attacking each other.
I've been on animals attacking you since I was a young lad. Animals do rule.
Animals rock. I will say the tea is nice for end of life.

Speaker 1 I really want to save it until I'm like, I'm going to really feel it dip to like the lowest possible, pretty much borderline trans.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And then just like a phoenix out of the ashes.
Yeah. Just be sitting there one day being like,

Speaker 1 and just be like, it's time. And just fucking, just take so much tea.

Speaker 1 No, I'm not figuring out what I want for lunch.

Speaker 1 I wouldn't inject.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to put a needle into my body. You have to.
The pills are going to fry your liver. No.
Well, I don't take pills. I take a little powder.
You do a little patch? You got a snort?

Speaker 1 A little, little powder. A little rhino horn? Yeah.

Speaker 1 If they made a snortable tea, I would do it actually. Oh, that's a more fun way to do it.

Speaker 1 That would just be boss. You could probably snort creatine.
I bet you it would go into your body the exact same way.

Speaker 1 I'll do a line of creatine with you right now.

Speaker 1 I think more people have snorted creatine than they realize. That's a common cut for cocaine.
Really? Oh, yeah. Creatine is like...
Maybe, yeah. Dude, creatine drip.
You're like, a lot of people

Speaker 1 have snorty creatine without realizing it.

Speaker 1 Get the creatine thing.

Speaker 1 Creatine and creatine.

Speaker 1 Let's bump lines of creatine right now on the show.

Speaker 1 What a fun bit. I bet Call of Duty would love that.

Speaker 1 You can just do lines off that fucking load box or whatever that shit is.

Speaker 1 That's what it's for.

Speaker 1 Bumping creatine off it would be kind of nasty. I might bump some fucking coke off that.

Speaker 1 We got a fucking Call of Duty sponsor, baby. We did it.
Original.

Speaker 1 Fucking tea dosage, bro.

Speaker 1 Good little bump, bro. Shane, you got high T.
I don't think I do. Yeah, you do.
Super high. You haven't had it tested? Fuck no.

Speaker 1 That's a sign of high T. Yeah, you're like, I know.
I don't need to have some pussy doctor tell me what my number is. I've also, I've been doing my best to stop being a crybaby.
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 I mean, we always talk about it, but I was just, you get done with a long weekend. Like, I was in the UK.
I was fucking totally exhausted. I came back home and I was like,

Speaker 1 I was like, fuck, fuck am I doing again, dude?

Speaker 1 Obviously, I'm just hungover, so I'm sad, but it's like, yeah,

Speaker 1 cut it out. Although with high T comes high estrogen, because they do kind of couple.
Oh, really? Yeah, if you have high T, you usually have high estrogen as well. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because your body has to, that's why steroid, like bodybuilders, they take estrogen blockers because their estrogen raises with the T.

Speaker 1 Is that why they get titties?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Maybe.
Could be.

Speaker 1 Could be. Or maybe they're just in the gym working on it.
Maybe they just worked hard and finally got the results. They got big women's tits.
Rocking tits.

Speaker 1 I'd be in the gym like crazy if I could get women's tits on my body national. You can.
Dude, you ever see those like jacked fucking? They have really? It's funny.

Speaker 1 Sometimes, yeah, I'll see a dude in a movie that's supposed to be like a jacked ripped guy. And he is, it's just because his pecs are gigantic, but just a smooth set of women's tits.
Damn. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Small nipples. Yeah, tiny nipples.
Ooh. Yeah, dude's nipples poking out of their shirt is for real like the opposite effect.
I see a dude's nipples out of their shirt. I'm like, bro.

Speaker 1 Woman is like, this is, what have I done to deserve a bunch of people?

Speaker 1 Nipples on a guy.

Speaker 1 Bro,

Speaker 1 I mean, these dry fit fucking polos, this nipples, it's a nipple show. Yeah.
Your nipples aren't poking out. Not right now, but I'll get them going.
If you were to broaden that AC kicks on,

Speaker 1 do you ever run it? You ever run in the cold and then like your shirt rubs against your nipples? Your nipples get all chafed. That hurts.
It hurts like hell. I get that normally.

Speaker 1 If I wear like the wrong shirt, if I get a shirt with like a patched-on logo, my nipples get, or a dress shirt. You have giant nipples.
You think I have giant nipples?

Speaker 1 No, I don't.

Speaker 1 My nipples are yellow. Dude, you have perfectly normal nipples.
You say they're perfectly normal, dude.

Speaker 1 I need to pilot on someone.

Speaker 1 You have like.

Speaker 1 I instantly believed it. I was like, I guess I do.
No, you have to be nice. I have beautiful nipples.
You have big nipples? No, I have nice little Puerto Rican nipples. Do you really?

Speaker 1 Little fucking brown, little brown pepperonis. Yeah.
Yeah. You've been sent me some shirtless picks.
I have sent Shane some shirtless picks.

Speaker 1 Every time he makes progress in the gym, I think it's just for me. Yeah.
I think you go to the gym to be like, Shane,

Speaker 1 check what I've done to myself.

Speaker 1 are you doing a post immediate post pump picture oh yeah yeah it's the best i do it in the dude from i get in the steamer and i come out i have a glistening glaze on my body bro and i send it to shane i'm like look at this bro this is nothing sam hyde has been sending me nothing but pictures and face times from when he's in the sauna and he puts the phone at his feet and goes

Speaker 1 it's so

Speaker 1 scary dude i wish i had that confidence because sam hyde specifically tries to make himself as ugly as possible i'm like he just has whatever it is like the the way he's wired, he's like, no, no, I'm going to look at like the biggest fucking ugly freak.

Speaker 1 And he faces me face on it every time. I'm like, dude,

Speaker 1 stop.

Speaker 1 He's high T, for sure. Oh, he's super high T.
That's like, yeah, that's a problem. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Super high T. Super high T.
Too much. Super high T.
There's no way you're low T. Go back and fight the doctors.

Speaker 1 I'm going to go to Texas. That's the proof of high T.
Yeah. I tried to get him to put me on Tesasa when he was like, no, it's not anything like a scam.

Speaker 1 Like where he was trying to get me to, like, he was like, no. He was like, you smoke and drink every day.
He was like, stop doing that. You have to take some self-a long self.

Speaker 1 Getting rid of smoking and drinking is low T. That's a low T that's literally a girl decision.

Speaker 1 You drink too much.

Speaker 1 Shut up, bitch.

Speaker 1 That's the low, that's the slow sell, too, to be like, dude, I'm on your side. He's going to do the same thing.
He's going to print like a fucking like furniture fax off his printer.

Speaker 1 I'm like, oh, yeah, dude, you actually dropped. That's crazy.
You're fucked.

Speaker 1 He's like on the Siemens scale.

Speaker 1 But But that's cool. Yeah.
That'll be fun.

Speaker 1 It is cool to look forward to. I say it all the time, man.
If you get older, you can just smash the T button and go nuts.

Speaker 1 Just go, yo, dude, double. Whatever they say, just go, I'll double that up.
Double that up. See what the fuck happened.
I watched a video because they were like, dudes are taking.

Speaker 1 I watched this last night. They're saying a lot of dudes are finding out theirs are average and taking it.
And they're like, it's only for people who are very low. Yeah.
Well,

Speaker 1 if you're high tea, taking more tea doesn't really bring your tea up, right? I don't know. Neither do I.
Also, there's a question of absorbing it.

Speaker 1 You could put put it in there, you might not be able to absorb it.

Speaker 1 So, whatever.

Speaker 1 It'll be cool. I think it'll be a lot of it, too.
It'll just be nice. If I'm getting injected by anything by a doctor, I'm going to be like, oh, fuck you.
Yeah. Hell yeah.
You like it?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I would like that. I hate it.
I hate taking blood.

Speaker 1 I hate taking needles. Yeah.
I'm not a big fan, actually. Can't do it.

Speaker 1 This would be like a needle in your butt, I'm pretty sure. Okay, I could do that.
No, I'm not trying to be like

Speaker 1 you put a needle in your butt cheek.

Speaker 1 That's all. I'm very self-conscious about my ass, though.
It's kind of flabby. What? The doctor's going to do it? You got a flabby ass.
My butt sucks. Are you serious? Dude, my butt.

Speaker 1 This is also another female psyop. Dude, men

Speaker 1 should not have fucking sculpted. Bro, I should have a nice ass.
Dude, I bet Matt's ass is a fucking thing of beauty. I got a peach.

Speaker 1 Matt does have a donkey.

Speaker 1 I admired Matt's donk several times.

Speaker 1 That's a tight little peach. I used to watch him run up a little bit on his shoulder.

Speaker 1 He does have a nice donk. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was watching White Lotus, and the guy comes in and fucks a lady. He has a giant sculpted ass.
I was like, ew.

Speaker 1 Who, the Schwarzenegger? No, the guy

Speaker 1 when she fucks one of the Russian guys. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Crawls in the dog, and he had a fucking jacked ass. And I was sitting here by myself, and I was like, ew, what the fuck is that, dude?

Speaker 1 It's the guy's body. I'd rather see his donk.
You're on the flight from London. You're like, Jesus.
Yeah, not now.

Speaker 1 Will it ever end?

Speaker 1 The donkey is not going away.

Speaker 1 Did you watch that episode? Yeah, I'm caught up. It's the funniest thing possible.
Unbelievable.

Speaker 1 There was a clip recently I saw online of him like finding out he was in White Lotus with his family and he like crying and being like, yes. Oh no.
He's also at a White Lotus style resort.

Speaker 1 His rich family's at like a beautiful resort.

Speaker 1 I thought it was on set. Yeah, that's funny.
Yeah. Oh my God.
But then you get the script and you go.

Speaker 1 I mean, what else? Hold on a second. What is he? I know, dude.
You're going to jerk your brother off. Although, dude, I will say he's been, I'm so impressed by him.
His action is great.

Speaker 1 He's unbelievable. No, he's really good.
He's unbelievable. This season's great.

Speaker 1 I mean, the first four episodes blue, but now we're fucking getting. Now we're cooking.
Now we're cooking. Episode five, episode six.

Speaker 1 It's really just brothers jerking each other off. Now I'm completely fine.
But that's the funniest thing possible. It's hilarious.
It's unbelievable. They kissed, and I was like, that's not that bad.

Speaker 1 Bro, if his dad would have blown his head off, that would have been the funniest day ever. That's.

Speaker 1 You got jacked off by your brother, came home, and your dad blew his head off.

Speaker 1 You always think it's because he knew.

Speaker 1 what you're like dude this is definitely my fault 100 yeah it's also so sick being like yeah we blacked out i don't remember anything and is carrying the memory the entire time of being like when the girls confront him and he's just like that didn't happen like no i watched it and he's like can we just stop talking about this right now i yeah i don't know well you have to kill yourself that whole family might

Speaker 1 suicide yeah mom was talking about it she was like i can't live any other way i'd kill myself she might be the best character on the show

Speaker 1 unbelievable park caposi she's fucking hilarious. I got a theory of what's going to happen.
Do you really? Because this shooting. I heard a good theory, too.

Speaker 1 It's going to be Goggins and the Bulldogger go to try to fuck with that guy, the guy they've been trying to fuck with. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then there's going to be a shooting at the place. And I think that sweet guard is going to be the one to set it.
He's going to get popped trying to protect his babe.

Speaker 1 My theory right now is the younger brother or the older brother.

Speaker 1 Wants to keep that rumor at bay because those two girls know. So he might want to fucking smash them.
He murders these fucking sluts. I think so.
That's a fair one.

Speaker 1 I heard a random theory from one of my producers. They think a monkey gets a hold of the gun because they keep on shotting.

Speaker 1 I had a feeling somebody from Legion of Skanks was going to come up with the dumbest.

Speaker 1 Could be multiple shooters. It could be.
I don't know. He brings his gun back from Bangkok and then he hears maybe a suicide shot go off.
He's thinking it's the other guy and he fires.

Speaker 1 There could be multiple gunmen all firing at each other. You don't think it could be monkeys? I hope it's monkeys.
I hope it's monkeys. It'd be the funniest thing.

Speaker 1 Like all those little fucking capuchins. We must watch.

Speaker 1 That'd be yeah. If we just got to watch a family fall apart and then get killed by a monkey, that'd be great.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that would be,

Speaker 1 you got jerked off by a brother and then a monkey shot you.

Speaker 1 True. But I can get past being jerked off by my brother if we were both blacked out on drugs.
No chance. But he remembers.
Drugs.

Speaker 1 It's not you. It's not like you guys chose to do it.
No way. Never, ever.
I don't have a brother. Maybe I have to have a brother yeah

Speaker 1 i have a sister you know imagine doing drugs and her jerking you off yes that's i would kill myself that's different but still fuck that that's different your brother jerking you off i mean it's not ideal i don't have a brother i can't i mean dude i like was watching it sisters it's all hell it's hell for sure but dude having a brother jerk it's crazy you and baby billy that's crazy

Speaker 1 i was sitting there with uh where i was watching it last night with brittany and she was like i was like dude he's like visibly sick and she's like do you think you would would get sick from that?

Speaker 1 I thought about it, immediately felt sick. And I was like, yeah, I guess so.
I was like, yeah, that made my, it turned my stomach immediately. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Is your brother fabulous? It would suck if it was one of your boys.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 You know, if like you and me did something and I, you know, you ended up.

Speaker 1 Like, our situation would be different. Our situation would be different.
If we like kissed just to make it a funny joke and then you ended up stroking me, that'd be fucking hilarious. Crazy.

Speaker 1 Our situation would be different. Yeah, our situation.
We'd have a different situation. Yeah, that'd be different.

Speaker 1 He was his, his brother. To be fair, to your point, Lewis, his brother was plowing.
So there was a woman involved.

Speaker 1 It's just the South Park episode with the aliens. Did you ever see that one where they're like, oh, God, you've sucking my thing with like the Jewish aliens? No, I didn't see that.
That's great.

Speaker 1 And now Earth is a reality show, and these aliens are coming to cancel it, which is just they're going to blow up Earth.

Speaker 1 And then the boys go and hang out with them and they start doing blow and they fucking suck each other anyway that's what it reminds me of just the hangover the next day being like oh my god what'd we do this yeah you do have to bury it and move on like that was a you you could you could file that under like that was a truly wild night and yeah it was just drugs i don't know if if it was like if they're completely sober i would understand like wanting to fucking kill yourself and like yeah but it's like you know people do crazy shit on drugs that's true and it's you know the problem is this is the thing i was wondering about is it like something where he's like dying to relive it That could be part of his revulsion.

Speaker 1 Because they were like kind of like, he was like showing his brother's ass and jerking off. Yeah, there's a lot of weird like insectual shit.
Even like the Arnold Schwarzenegger's son, like with the

Speaker 1 sister, he was like, is she a virgin? I was like, she's hot. Like, why is she not like the box? Like, so we there's a weird sort of conversation.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then the younger, the younger brother and the younger, the sister sort of have like a little bit of like, they're a little too close. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, the older brother is like just a sexual pig, and then it's just coming full circle. Like the older brother prizes the the most.

Speaker 1 The older brother rules

Speaker 1 the whole weekend. That's all we've been talking about.
Because that's what DeRosa is just calling people pigs, and it's the funniest. The best.

Speaker 1 We had the pig rankings of all of our friends. He was the top pig.
Really? Who's the top pig? I can't say it here.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you later. It was the funniest.
Give me the first initial, the first name. Nope.

Speaker 1 But it was funny because he'd be furious. Really? The top pig?

Speaker 1 That's a compliment. I'm hoping this shadow is.

Speaker 1 I think if you just do it, I don't know. Yeah,

Speaker 1 I could guess. Yeah, I could guess.

Speaker 1 How do you define a pig? Just pig behavior, dude. Just a trowel.

Speaker 1 You put out the fucking slop in the trowel, and they're fucking

Speaker 1 drink, drugs, women. Yeah,

Speaker 1 the most vice-rated men.

Speaker 1 Maybe you. I'm up there.
I'm a good pig there. That's why I assembled.

Speaker 1 On this trip, I took a Connor and DeRosa. Yeah.
I needed the pigs to ride.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to go to the UK and fucking not beat pigs. You know, pigs choose a best friend.
I saw this in my

Speaker 1 instagram algorithm yeah they choose a best friend and they'll have sleepovers with them what yeah they are super smart yeah i feel bad about eating bacon every time i see those like pig pet instagram videos i'm like fuck that is kind of like eating a dog great guys yeah they're awesome i had we had a pig when i was growing up we had a little pig kicking around what'd you do to it just chilled it used actually they're very sexual by the way You used to hump, we had like an exercise ball.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude. We ate an exercise ball.
We threw it in the pen and it just like for real in front of all of us just humped it and jizzed all over it. And we were all like dogs are like dogs are the same.

Speaker 1 They're just very like

Speaker 1 it's almost like, aren't you embarrassed like a dog just fucking hump your leg and come?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. You jack off on airplanes.
Not in front of anybody. Imagine your loved ones were like, that's just like jacking off in front of your family, just coming on the couch.

Speaker 1 I mean, dude, that's exactly what you would do on an airplane with no societal training.

Speaker 1 If you saw like a hot flight attendant, you would just go up to her and just start being like, no, all right, fucking

Speaker 1 okay. Just like walk back, maybe maybe be like,

Speaker 1 come on.

Speaker 1 They just like fight you, just fight your dad. Dog really, do you go sleep by yourself in the corner? Yeah, dogs do growl a little bit when they fuck.
Do they really?

Speaker 1 Yeah, they bite the back of the other dog's neck. That seems hot.

Speaker 1 Shannon and Sharp. Look, dogs can be hot.

Speaker 1 A little shea shea. Shannon and Charpet.

Speaker 1 How was it, UK? It was awesome. Was it nice? It was nice.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was fucking great. But we went to the UFC fight on Saturday.
I didn't know there was one out there. Yeah, it was in the same.

Speaker 1 I was doing the same room the next night. It was great.
But we were sitting there, and we were up close.

Speaker 1 The chair next to me had Jared Leto on it. And I was waiting the whole time.
I was like, damn, Jared Leto's about to sit next to me. This is going to be crazy.

Speaker 1 I'm going to fucking talk to him about Thin Red Line. He just never showed up.

Speaker 1 Fuck.

Speaker 1 But it was nice. A guy from Philly beat the fuck out of Leon Edwards.
That's sick. Yeah, Sean Brady.

Speaker 1 And anytime he had him ground and pound, because the whole, it was in London, so everyone's cheering for Leon.

Speaker 1 Anytime, the whole time it was ground and pounding, Brady was just fucking destroying him. And I was just sitting there going, Go Birds.

Speaker 1 Go Birds.

Speaker 1 I haven't watched it back, but you have to be able to hear it. That's awesome.
And then after he won, he was like, all right, thank you guys so much. Go Birds.

Speaker 1 And then they played Meek Mill. It was just the nicest moment.
It was awesome. Yeah.
He beat Leon Edwards' ass. Fucked him up.
Dang.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was crazy. I got to meet Louis Thoreau.
He was with us.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he rules.
Yeah, he ruled. Might be one of the best investigative documentarians

Speaker 1 ever. Yeah, he was the fucking man.
Ever to motherfucking do it.

Speaker 1 Dennis,

Speaker 1 what the fuck is that? When Gallagher came and hung out at the London show from Oasis. Oh, really? Yeah.
He's the fucking man. Yeah, it was crazy.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 apparently there's a lot of drama with that whole band. I didn't know.
Oasis? Yeah, apparently, I could be wrong, but I remember watching something on it. Been together in 16 16 years.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, that story might be more famous than any song they've ever made.

Speaker 1 The fact that the Gallagher brothers hate each other. Yeah, some bullshit.

Speaker 1 They're not. You gotta watch fucking wine.

Speaker 1 Maybe Liam jerked him off. Yeah, they call him Richard

Speaker 1 Real.

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah. Look at like a wank.

Speaker 1 How about a wank? I did that on stage. That's funny.
Because I was talking about jacking off, and I was like, oh, yeah. How about having a wine?

Speaker 1 It was nice. That is the funniest way to say it.
Dublin,

Speaker 1 I was talking about black people in Dublin boot.

Speaker 1 What? It was so funny.

Speaker 1 When's Conor McGregor going to become the president of Ireland? They hated him. Did they? I was shocked how much they hated him.
Really? He's a piece of shit.

Speaker 1 He's a top pigs. He's one of the top pigs.
Oh, he's a huge pig. He's one of the true top pigs.

Speaker 1 Dude, rape is a very big.

Speaker 1 It's one of the biggest top of the pigs.

Speaker 1 And he got for sure busted.

Speaker 1 See, I thought it was allegations until the people that were in Dublin were pretty confident. Oh, no.
I think he lost.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I heard he lost the case. Damn.

Speaker 1 And then he, like, punched some old guy at a bar one time. Dude, if you just, like, if you...

Speaker 1 He for real pigged. Like, he did.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude, beating up old people, pig behavior.

Speaker 1 He, like, morphed his entire physical

Speaker 1 being just morphed in, like, a year from pigging out. But also, like, if an old guy's talking shit to you at a bar, at what point do you punch him?

Speaker 1 There's a moment moment where you're like, yo, fuck this dude. I'll just beat this old guy's ass.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'll be honest. I wouldn't mind whooping the hell out of an old man every now and again.
I'll be honest, bro. Just his bones are breaking.
They're all brittle. Yeah.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 you can only take so much. But, I mean, as a UFC fighter.
Yeah. You can't beat up an old man.
Well, the guy, he tried to buy the old guy. He was like hammering on Coke.
He tried to buy him a drink.

Speaker 1 And the old guy was like, I don't want a drink. And he was just offended that he wouldn't take his drink.
So then he punched him. That's his own own whiskey, though.
It was his own whiskey.

Speaker 1 People hate his whiskey.

Speaker 1 Fuck that.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's that's that's setting yourself up for his people.

Speaker 1 If you, if you're like a rich guy who's starting a whiskey company in Ireland, everyone there is gonna be like, I don't want your fucking whiskey. This is terrible piss.

Speaker 1 That's just a recipe for a giant Irish spaz.

Speaker 1 The worst whiskey I've ever had. I mean, I have some.
Don't talk about me whiskey. How dare you talk about me whiskey?

Speaker 1 No, Ireland, I mean, every place over there. London's fucking great.
Dublin rules.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was awesome. Yeah.
I just, I can't get over it. Everyone, American outlets should be universal.
Everything over Earth.

Speaker 1 Every other country on earth does suck.

Speaker 1 And going to it, it's fun while you're there, but then just little things. that are different for no reason.

Speaker 1 The water, they never give you water. You can't get water.

Speaker 1 There's no ice for some reason. Yeah, that's fine.
Ice is a delicacy there. They literally wait.
I got the hotel room service knocked on my door. And I was like, what's up? And they're like, ice?

Speaker 1 It was just a fucking tray of ice. I was like, no, bro, are you serious? What the fuck's going on? Why are they so anti-ice over there? They hate ice and they hate air conditioning.

Speaker 1 I will say ice is a low-tee thing, though. I said no.
Yeah. But where is it? You should have it.
True. Room temperature water.
Room temperature water. Love room temperature water.
That's what I drink.

Speaker 1 See my boot up there?

Speaker 1 Sitting out. Love room temp.
It's my favorite thing. Yeah.
I'm a big room temp water, but if a country is being like, we don't really do ice, I'm going to be like, that's fucked up. Yeah, it's stupid.

Speaker 1 Yeah, bring some ice. Air conditioning, they despise.

Speaker 1 That's weird. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's the light switches.

Speaker 1 And they have like tourney dials and sideways light switches.

Speaker 1 They need to put their pride aside and realize America figured out. Yeah, I mean,

Speaker 1 we have the best plugs. Judge Biden no doubt.

Speaker 1 Bro, their plugs have like voltage limits on them. Yeah.
You can't plug them in. Their plugs are like a weird, wonky, like alien shape.
It's embarrassing.

Speaker 1 I'm embarrassed for the rest of the world and their domestic electrical appliances. They're 50-50 on deodorant.
No AC. There's never air exerculate.
I don't think there's a ceiling fan in Europe.

Speaker 1 They don't have fucking lights in the ceilings, either. It's all lamps and shit.
I can get down with lamps.

Speaker 1 I do like lamps.

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Yeah, I actually, I got shocked recently. We bought shock pads for our couch for the dog.

Speaker 1 Dude, I got fucking rocked trying to pick those things off the couch.

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought you sat on it no no no no i was i was trying to roll them up and i hit the power button once thing you'd think like if you hit the power button the thing turns the off yeah all it does so they give you a thing saying how many times the animal attempted to touch it which apparently one day i don't know if this is right but it said 23.

Speaker 1 jackson matilda oh man matilda was and now she sleeps like on the other side of the entire she doesn't even go there's like pads that give electrical shocks yeah animals try to go on the couch and i always whenever i'm going out a punishment i do like to try to like see what's up so i look i touched it nothing oh my god i was kind of like like pussy touching it.

Speaker 1 Like, man, I guess it's not on. And then I thought I turned it off and picked it up.
And I was like,

Speaker 1 it fucking rocked me.

Speaker 1 Shitting everywhere you get your tongue.

Speaker 1 Dude, and then I like hit a button from the couch.

Speaker 1 It got me three times. What? Yeah, dude.
Because I kept trying to hit the buttons. I'm like, it's got to be off.
And I would start picking it up and just

Speaker 1 crush me. Got to hold the button now.
Three times. Yeah, dude.
It fucking rocked me. I had three attempts on the meter.
Maybe it was. It was too much mocking on the brain, bro.

Speaker 1 You took too many supplements.

Speaker 1 You get shocked three times. It's on you.
I know. That was.
That was my bad. But I also was just like, how hard can this thing be?

Speaker 1 And it was just, I got a little buzz. I was like, whatever.
Second, once I gripped it, it was like, I was like, damn. How's your cut? Does it heal up? Fully healed.
Oh, nice. Fully healed.

Speaker 1 That's the supplements. That's the subs, bro.
I would have been scarred for three more years. Really? Yeah.
No, that's the subs. I also swam for an hour today.
I did one hour. Dude.
That's crazy.

Speaker 1 It was, I've never swam that long. You get into an actual flow state with swimming might be.
You just kept on doing laps? I took breaks, don't get me wrong.

Speaker 1 I took breaks and I did my aqua robotics in between. So I would like run, go back and forth, which is

Speaker 1 people are sitting on their decks outside this morning. I would just watch people get up and just stop

Speaker 1 because I'm not a good swimmer. So it'd be like flash, flash, flash, flash.

Speaker 1 So hard. Yeah, but dude, once the first 20 were rough.
Once I got into like minute 30, and I can't do free, like I can only do this one. I was doing just a slow, continuous like breaststroke.

Speaker 1 Dude, the one point I did do, like, it's only like uh, probably 25 meters, maybe back and forth or whatever.

Speaker 1 But the uh, when I did like 10, like this, up, down, up, down, up, down, you get into a flow state where you just feel like a fucking crocodile, dude. It's awesome.

Speaker 1 I was in the water just gliding through the slow too. I was moving very slow, just gliding through.
And I was like, dude, I got to start doing this alone, just with your thoughts, just myself.

Speaker 1 You can't, no music, you can't, you can barely hear anything. And like, when you, when you can't like keep going, you start going underwater, like,

Speaker 1 obviously, yeah, it sucks. So, you're like, you have this weird, like, primordial panic kind of fueling you, especially when you're really tired.
You're like, I got to make it to the other side.

Speaker 1 You're like, I would die if this was a real life. I can't swim two laps.
I, dude, I'm telling you. I could run.
I could run for like four or five miles pretty easily, but I can't swim for shit.

Speaker 1 It's totally different, dude. It's crazy.
It's crazy. Yeah.
It's so fucking hard. Yeah.
I tried doing backstroke. I was doing all the strokes, too.
I was doing butterflies.

Speaker 1 Backstroke's impossible.

Speaker 1 Let's just drag that butt.

Speaker 1 How do you see where you're dragging? You can't see where you're going. You can't see where you're going.
How are you going to do that? You got to check the markers on the

Speaker 1 pool. I might set out some markers.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was just looking at the pool by my feet and being like, all right, I'm that far away. And then towards the end, I would just do a little.
Yeah, you got to stick your hands up.

Speaker 1 I was trying to invent new strokes, too.

Speaker 1 That was tough. That's tough.
I came up with one where I just, it was just a feet kick, and I just go like a platypus.

Speaker 1 That's not very useful.

Speaker 1 Yeah, swimming is where it's at. The only reason I'm doing it, my left knee's been fucked up.
So I had to take it to the water. Of course.
Take it back to the source, dude.

Speaker 1 You might be a SEAL. Dude, I for real felt like

Speaker 1 it's hard to explain. When you do an hour, and again, I was taking plenty of breaks.
I can't swim continuously for an hour, but when I got on my nice stretches, it's maybe the best feeling ever.

Speaker 1 So check it out.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah. I don't know what it does for the tea, but it's got to help the tea.
I would hope so. It's got to help the tea.

Speaker 1 I don't know why. I'm trying to get like hard-ass boners, too.
I'm like, what am I doing? Like, I've been ripping these, like, just fly.

Speaker 1 You're on a flight, dude. I mean, rock hard for a month.

Speaker 1 Every now and again, what happens to me on a flight, if I had been drinking the night before, I'll get like devilishly horny on a plane. Yeah, devilishly.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I was with Oasis the night before in the O2 arena. Yeah.
Damn. Had a couple drinks.
All of just the one Oasis? Just the one. They never together.
That's fucked, man. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But they're going back on tour. What? Yeah.
Hell freeze is over for Oasis. Yes.
They're coming back. Dude, I'm excited for that.
Dude, wait till the brothers just slip into Wonder Wall.

Speaker 1 They're going to look at each other and be like, I'm sorry, brother. I was being a bit of a call.
It wasn't on.

Speaker 1 It's going to be awesome. Maybe.

Speaker 1 He invited me to go. He was like, bring whoever you want.
Damn. They're going to do MetLife,

Speaker 1 Soldier Field, and the Rose Bowl

Speaker 1 in the United States. Sick.
And then they're going to do Mexico City. And I was like, maybe I'll do Mexico City.
Mexico City would be tight. It's a bunch of Mexican Oasis fans.
Hilarious.

Speaker 1 Probably a lot of Mexican Oasis fans.

Speaker 1 I would have to imagine Oasis would hit the lads pretty hard. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, who's going to build the Wonder Wall?

Speaker 1 come on folks come on folks i was working on that

Speaker 1 yeah and i was like it's too

Speaker 1 it's too bad it's so bad it's so good yeah

Speaker 1 thought about it

Speaker 1 they might get scared of wonder wall

Speaker 1 they're a very dreamy bunch the lads they are they're very dreamy i can see them getting down to some oasis for sure what do you think the latinos no mexicans specifically puerto ricans i think would hate oasis if i had a guess puerto ricans get angry and try to fight Oasis.

Speaker 1 What other hits they had? They had Wonder Wall. Champagne Supernova.
Champagne Supernova. It's called Don't Look Back in True.
That one album was just banger after banger.

Speaker 1 What's the story is the name of the album? Yeah. Yeah.
It's got to piss you off if you're Oasis and then you're like getting a fight with your brother and then Coldplay comes out of nowhere.

Speaker 1 You're like, dude, we could have been Cold Play. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I would have a little bit bigger than Cold Play. Way bigger Cold Pro.
They probably fucking can't stand it. They were like the new Beatles.
Like for a very long time. They were crushing it.

Speaker 1 And I mean, they're still, you know, they're hilarious. And they're both hilarious.
Are they really? Watch any clip of them getting interviewed. They're the funniest.
That's sick.

Speaker 1 One of them, I forget which brother it was, but there's one they're like, how do you deal with hangovers? He's like, straight back to the pub. No questions asked.
Don't dwell on it.

Speaker 1 Fuck it.

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Speaker 1 RocketMoney.com slash MSSP. Cold Play, if you listen to Cold Play's new albums, it's like, it's insane, dude.
What are they up to?

Speaker 1 It's,

Speaker 1 I can't even put it into words.

Speaker 1 It would be like for real if like

Speaker 1 AI. If the stock market made music.
Exactly. It is very AI-ish.
Some of the songs are just emojis.

Speaker 1 Just like the World Emoji is one of the songs.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Like for the song title on Spotify, there's no words. It's just like a globe emoji.
Fuck them.

Speaker 1 Fuck them. Dude, I like sat down and I was like, let me see what they're up to.
And I tried to get into their latest album and I'm like, bro, this is insane.

Speaker 1 But it's like genius from a perspective of like, if you're trying to gather a ton of like 17-year-olds or whatever. And I am.

Speaker 1 Hold on. What are we talking about here?

Speaker 1 Dude, I was. I can't get over the, I was listening to, I was in the, obviously I was in the car with my wife, and I was listening to Not That Innocent, that song by Britney.

Speaker 1 I did it again by Britney Spears. Yeah, that's a tough one.
That came on and I was just like, dude, hey, she didn't write this. There were definitely adults writing

Speaker 1 those songs for children. That was the craziest period of, just the thing about like, we took so many people.

Speaker 1 I just watched American Beauty for the first time. I never saw it.
It's awesome. It's brewed on the flight.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's fucking hilarious. It's awesome.
It's a great movie. It did make the boners a little uncomfortable.
Oh, true. All these hot teens.
She's a hot, yeah.

Speaker 1 High school kid constantly. Well, also, like, that's the thing with whatever at Thora Birch, she's actually underage and does that nude scene.
Her parents signed off on a nude scene. Who, which one?

Speaker 1 Thora Birch, one with the big tits. I didn't know that.
The daughter or the other lady? The daughter.

Speaker 1 So when she's Jordan Spacey, you'd be involved in something like that.

Speaker 1 But she was like 16 when they filmed it, and they filmed the nude scene with a 16-year-old girl.

Speaker 1 That's called a loophole, folks. Getting the permission slip? Field trip permission slip? You get to just watch child porn in American beauty because it's art.

Speaker 1 I was watching it on the plane with a fucking boner.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but here's the thing: Jane, you already had a boner. If I was your lawyer, I would say if it pulsed, did it pulse? That's your business.
Did not pulse. Don't disclose that.

Speaker 1 We can talk about that.

Speaker 1 That's confidential.

Speaker 1 That's lawyer. That's lawyer client confidentiality.

Speaker 1 Hold on a second. I have to talk about it.

Speaker 1 I like to ask for a brief recess.

Speaker 1 covering your face and all that

Speaker 1 oh yeah

Speaker 1 argument like that i'd like to have that thrown out your honor

Speaker 1 objection

Speaker 1 yeah that's all that matters you get a boner the pulses are that's your and even that i you could argue i could argue your pulse too i could stand in front of the good people and argue a pulse, but guys,

Speaker 1 that could be anything. Could have been anything.
Little glitch for the 20th. That 16-year-old's rocking tits all day.

Speaker 1 Her huge bare breasts. They were covered in flowers.
That was the one thing the movie did. Didn't they cover it? No, no, no.
No, that was

Speaker 1 the other girl. Shows her boobs.
You do know these girls' names. What?

Speaker 1 True. Hey.
I can't believe you know the daughter from American Beauty's name. Dang, it's turning into a four-hour

Speaker 1 Savari. Flora Bircham? I don't know any of you.
I've never heard that name.

Speaker 1 I don't know a single adult's name in that movie. That's a crazy deep guy, too.

Speaker 1 No, Thora Birch. Yeah.
How do you not know her name? Who's the girl from Fast Man? What about the movie? Shamina Suvari? The Oregon Scott. You have high teeth, right? Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about? Do you know his name? I'm pretty sure Amina Savari was an adult in that movie.

Speaker 1 She felt better at that. What about Birch? What are some other movies you enjoyed her in? I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I can't name a single movie.
She's the actress in that old Romeo and Juliet movie. Oh, I do.
I know. If you know this, you're out of your family.
No, no, no, no, no, no, I got it.

Speaker 1 Fuck, I got it. I really have this.
She just died. What? Yeah.
That's how I know about this. I didn't know about this.
Yeah, she was like 16 as well.

Speaker 1 CP.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they just filmed it. Was that Leo, too? Was it the Leo? No, no, no, no, no.
That was fucking flat-chested Claire Dane's show. Those little shitty titties in your mind.
What was that? Julia

Speaker 1 Celeb or whatever. Dude, what's her fucking name, dude? Oh, what's that website?

Speaker 1 Give me the first letter. I don't know.
Olivia, Olivia.

Speaker 1 last name?

Speaker 1 Olivia Hussey.

Speaker 1 I know she's got a slutty name.

Speaker 1 We're going to be a puncher in Walmart.

Speaker 1 We're going to be a punch here in Walmart.

Speaker 1 You aren't going to get caught in all of that. Olivia Hussey, yeah.
Hell yeah, dude. Because when I was in high school, they showed us that, and we were all just like,

Speaker 1 she was so hot. What happened in that one? They just showed, like, they lay in 18.
They also showed that guy's butt,

Speaker 1 Romeo's butt. I never saw it.
He had a sweet rocking ass.

Speaker 1 Romeo's ass was fucking delightful. We should get more.
Yeah, there should be a lot of people. I was in high school when I saw that.
We were like lusting after this girl when I was a fairy.

Speaker 1 That's the last time you saw it. High school's fair.
I mean, we think we watched it on Legion of Skanks. We looked it up.
It's not illegal.

Speaker 1 It's not illegal. Yeah.
What? To watch it now? If it's in a movie. If it's in a movie.
Yeah. I might have been in the room.

Speaker 1 You might have been in the room. That's why I'm like, where do I remember this from? Yeah.
But yeah, you don't see, like, you do only see rocking asses from men on TV. We got to start.

Speaker 1 Nice dog butt on one of them. Yeah, man.
Well, yeah, nobody's showing showing their like, dude, my ass, I feel bad.

Speaker 1 Like I get naked in the locker room now with my little pud and my fucking flabby ass. It's so funny.
I just do it to make everyone else uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 Everyone else in the locker room has a flabby fucking drink. No, everyone in the locker room has, if you're showing your ass in your dick, it's because you have a nice ass and nice dick.

Speaker 1 The other guys put a towel around themselves, take their underwear down underneath the towel. I don't do that anymore.
You just rip it. Yeah, I rip it.
That's nice. That's good.
It's pretty sick.

Speaker 1 It's important.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm at that age where I feel good naked in a locker room around other men. I was thinking of that today.
They're like, dude, gay dudes, it rules for them.

Speaker 1 They just go to a locker room and just see all these hot dudes with their cocks out. Like,

Speaker 1 they should have their own locker room. Nothing hateful there.
I'm just saying they should put gays. I got to give them a perk.

Speaker 1 They deserve that perk in life. Yeah.
All the bullying, all the stuff.

Speaker 1 They got to peep your dog. Yeah.
It's only fair. Speaking of gay guys, I watched

Speaker 1 this documentary on the Joplin tornado. What happened with that thing? It's just a giant F5 tornado that ripped through the middle of the town and killed like 160 people.
Damn.

Speaker 1 But they filmed this documentary. Every person that was in it was gay.
What?

Speaker 1 They interviewed like three different people that were clearly gay.

Speaker 1 One of them was a young boy newscaster from San Diego that wanted to be a meteorologist, and he was corresponding with an adult meteorologist. from Joplin.

Speaker 1 They had a little thing going on and he was like, I'll tell you what, we usually get crazy storms in May if you want to come by. No, and then the mom was like, I'm coming with you.
What the fuck?

Speaker 1 So I think that guy might have been caught at Walmart by the mom, but then had to be like, nah, it's just a storm. I don't know.
Storm chaser.

Speaker 1 But then the kid happened to be there when the most devastating

Speaker 1 storm ever happened. Was his mommy there too? Mom was there.
Damn. They made it out.
They were all right. Thank God.
If you get killed by a tornado, also, thank God you didn't.

Speaker 1 Watch the documentary.

Speaker 1 You can get rocked by it.

Speaker 1 Oh, dude, you seriously? Bro, you go into a basement. You're fine.
How? then the house falls on you. I don't understand how that works.
Biggest tornado ever. The house gets lifted up.

Speaker 1 It was the biggest. The first tornado ever.
They got fucking killed. I don't believe it.
It would fucking rock you so hard. Dude, they were trying to drive away.
Natural disasters.

Speaker 1 I just don't buy it. I was in a hurricane.
They were trying to drive away from it.

Speaker 1 One group was getting chased by it. One of the dudes got sucked out of the sunroof.
Who, the kid who went over there? Hang on, no, no, he made it.

Speaker 1 But it was a different kid that, you know, he was pulled out of the sunroof of a car? I keep calling them all gay. Yes, he got launched out.
I mean, that's kind of sick.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's a great way to die. If you got to die, well, yeah, my...
Apparently, it fucking hurts because it's all debris. You're just getting hit by glass and dirt that's going 300 miles.
Just cows.

Speaker 1 That's the fucking show.

Speaker 1 You're getting hit by the worst shit ever. Entire houses fly.

Speaker 1 You've got to watch the die. An old lady on a bike just fucking hit you in the side of the head.
Yeah, I for real just thought you got launched like super high and fell.

Speaker 1 I didn't realize all the debris would fucking hit. The debris just hurts, yeah.
Sting. Bro, the one he's getting pegged by debris.
You get so much dust in your eyes.

Speaker 1 You get so much dust in your eye, you'd be 600 feet up. Like, God damn it.
Did you hear this? Because it ripped through all this old dead soil and dead

Speaker 1 vegetation, it had

Speaker 1 fungus in the air that was like a flesh-eating fungus that got into people and killed a bunch of people. Oh, no, yeah, it was.
It was a flesh-eating fungus in their dirt. Everyone does.
That sucks.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 What are you thinking about your garden? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I've been been playing it fast and loose in my hands in the garden.

Speaker 1 I just added another roly-pulley to my garden today. Dude.
You added it? I find them. I find them walking around.
I keep them by hand, toss them in my garden. That's nice.
What do they do?

Speaker 1 They're just good. They break stuff down, eat other pests.
Nice. Very beneficial for gardens.

Speaker 1 I didn't know that. I was fucking with roly-pullies my whole life.
Oh, yeah, everyone.

Speaker 1 I was watching those fuckers when I find them. Everyone fucked those fuckers.
They used to roll up and you go.

Speaker 1 Toss them.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was like

Speaker 1 fine. I I used to tear the legs off of daddy longleg spiders.
Yeah, and the legs still click. It's just a little fucking ball.

Speaker 1 Well, the legs don't get a lot of money. I'd love to condemn you, but I've seen a couple of those legs come off and keep moving.
Yeah, and they just keep, yeah, it's pretty sick. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Damn, so you turn it into just a fucking head.

Speaker 1 Just a fucking little daddy.

Speaker 1 Just a daddy. Just a regular daddy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That must be crazy. Just be a fucking legless daddy long leg trying to like interpret the world and just sitting there like

Speaker 1 it's gotta be terrifying, yeah,

Speaker 1 sucks poor guy, but yeah, we used to do stuff like that, frogs, all that shit. Yeah, I never did anything a handful of like bugs I would torture, but not really even torture.

Speaker 1 I mean, I guess it's torture if you're tearing all of its limbs off, yeah, yeah, it's literally a medieval

Speaker 1 torture. I did that to William Wallace

Speaker 1 to his daddy long leg,

Speaker 1 say mercy. We fucking uh, yeah, but did they

Speaker 1 hurt them?

Speaker 1 Well, here's the thing: because they say they don't have the pain receptors, but even if it doesn't hurt, it's still got to be experienced as a giant inconvenience. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 To just be like, you know, on your P's and Q's trying to munch some ants, and all of a sudden you just, all your legs have been ripped off. You're just rolling?

Speaker 1 Not even rolling. They can't even roll.
At that point, they just... Yeah.
Kind of just a disc.

Speaker 1 They're just like a little observation point. They're just.

Speaker 1 Until they die. Yeah, probably quickly, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's probably sweet for birds. Did they grow their legs back? No, not like

Speaker 1 they grew their legs back. Worms can do some weird stuff like that.
Yeah. But no, I don't think a daddy long leg spawns legs.

Speaker 1 I don't think they could survive the period of growing new legs. You know, crabs do? What? You ever watch them rip off their claw? No.
Yeah. They'll rip off their own arms.
They get bigger, better?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Shit.
They'll take its one fucking claw and just go.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? Just sit there.

Speaker 1 Crabs. I'm going to do that.
You ever watch moose shed their and deer and shit shit? I've seen their antlers. They shake their shit off.

Speaker 1 That is pretty sick. Just stand there and they go like this, and both their antlers fall off, and they get scared.

Speaker 1 Oh, shit. They just take off.
I've never seen them knock them off. I've just seen them just like scratch them.
No, they'll fucking literally just shake their head and their antlers fall off. Damn.

Speaker 1 They take off. It's pretty fun.
That is pretty tight. Anyway, that should probably be the end of the episode.
Just the bigger betters.

Speaker 1 How are we doing?

Speaker 1 Oh, I thought we were well past. Never mind.
I was going to switch over. I know you guys have.
I know you have to get to your Mr. Beast interview.
I'm going to have to interview Mr. Beast.

Speaker 1 Beast himself interviewing me, I know you could get that. That'd be great.
We'll see. He did kill Tony with me and Matt.
Oh, did he? Give you a little inside. Get me on, dude.
I'll try to help.

Speaker 1 Get me on. That would be the best.
Talk to Mr. Beast.
That would be the best.

Speaker 1 It would also add a lot of viewers. I promise.
But otherwise,

Speaker 1 actually, your viewers. Yeah.
No, they don't want my viewers.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true. You'd be in the middle of taping.
They'd be like, actually,

Speaker 1 we're taking people off.

Speaker 1 No, I hope you can't. Unless you stop naming underage girls that have been naked in movies, it's like, what? I'm just tired.
It's not your fault they were in the movie. Yeah, it's not my fault.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry that I'm a movie duff.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're just a consumer. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That is crazy to be a director. Like, what trophy are you going at? Like, you don't need it.
You could totally... Bro, it was totally fine until after American Beauty.
It made it that far.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think

Speaker 1 it was the last one where they put a child. That's true.
A naked child in the movie.

Speaker 1 That is true you know we we yeah at that time we definitely were like parading kids around and like putting them in makeup and making like brooke shields and fucking what was it the blue lagoon no i dude i when i was a kid i would beat my dick until it was fucking

Speaker 1 i mean until it was in pain to that movie and i believe she was a genuine child how old was brooke shields in blue lagoon she had to be a like 14 yeah maybe all right lemaire he's like oh yeah 14

Speaker 1 i've heard i feel like i i feel like i heard of this movie when I was younger. Like, my older brothers would talk about this, but I don't remember.
Yeah, it was like a brother and sister.

Speaker 1 Oh, that kid's ass was sweet in Blue Lagoon. 14, nailed it in Le Maire.
Dang, Le Maire. That's even worse.
Le Maire, one of the all-time pigs.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude, they just, it was. What was she doing in the Blue Lagoon? It was her.

Speaker 1 It was her brother and her were shipwrecked, and then they were like on an island, and just, they were both just naked the whole time, and they start banging. And that's the whole movie.
Her brother?

Speaker 1 It is just a straight-up childborn movie, incest childborn, too. Yeah, I believe that was the premise of it.
I don't know. I never got past the first few.

Speaker 1 It's the blue lagoon.

Speaker 1 Oh, they're cousins. They were cousins.
He had a sweet ass, I remember.

Speaker 1 Hold on, Your Honor.

Speaker 1 And they couldn't get off the island.

Speaker 1 And then they waited as long as they could.

Speaker 1 Damn,

Speaker 1 they had to repopulate the island with southerners.

Speaker 1 Yeah, dude, they start banging into, I guess, create a society. I have no idea.
I don't know if they ever get rescued.

Speaker 1 I remember seeing it as a kid being like, dude, she's so beautiful.

Speaker 1 I mean, yeah, that's a wretched thing to put onto a kid's mind being like, and then this guy gets stuck with his cousin on an island. They have sex.
You're 14. You're like,

Speaker 1 I know exactly what cousin.

Speaker 1 You start getting, I know exactly which cousin I'm thinking of. Like, Bob, I'd like to do a carnival cruise.

Speaker 1 We don't see each other as a family.

Speaker 1 Every time that boat rocks, you're like, this is it. This is it.

Speaker 1 It says online that they did use a body double for the nude scenes. Oh, man.
You've been jacking off to the wrong thing. I've been jacking off to an adult.
Not for the boy, though, just for

Speaker 1 boy was 18

Speaker 1 and it's suddenly awesome again

Speaker 1 damn shout out to that kid that boy he got to he was 18 dude sweet ass

Speaker 1 his name was chris adkins chris for atkins i know that did you just know that no

Speaker 1 okay i know who chris for atkins is let me take a look at this movie

Speaker 1 also

Speaker 1 as a casting

Speaker 1 casting director has got to be crazy to be like we're trying to have someone who can pass as a naked 14-year-old girl.

Speaker 1 And then they got to, that might be the ultimate transcendent pig who got to go through the microphone. Man, this is child porn.
It's straight up child porn, dude.

Speaker 1 Fuck, that's the

Speaker 1 dude. I'm just looking at the

Speaker 1 posters for the movie. Yeah.
Looks like they remade it. Oh.

Speaker 1 In 2012, Blue Lagoon, the Awakening. Probably two 40-year-old fat lesbians.

Speaker 1 Eric Bross and Mikel Solomon were the directors and put those boys on a list.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they remade it. Oh.
You know how many times you have to watch the original movie to remake it? Yeah, that's nuts to remake, to be like, let's run that one back.

Speaker 1 Although Romeo and Juliet, technically, they were probably like 12.

Speaker 1 In the original story?

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 1 That was when people back then, dude, Shakespeare times, that's when you'd have a a baby. Yeah, yeah, you'd married have a baby.
No, that's fair. You have a life expectancy of like 25

Speaker 1 So yeah, no, that's true. I'm not gonna put that on them.
It is weird though that every

Speaker 1 every like a lot of women shows are centered around high school romance

Speaker 1 It's true. Yeah, so with that that was that was that show on HBO now with Zenda Euphoria?

Speaker 1 Yeah, Euphoria, but even before that all those like soapy WB things, they're all like high school things that like a lot of like adult women would would watch.

Speaker 1 And it just, it's like high schoolers making out and simulating sex scenes. Well, that was like that movie, It Follows.

Speaker 1 It's about high-school kids. Did you see It Follows? I love that movie.
It was pretty sick.

Speaker 1 It's a fucking horror movie about an S C D.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you what gets me going, Stranger Things.

Speaker 1 Shows hot as hell.

Speaker 1 Yeah, It Follows is pretty wild, though. It's actually, it's the first time I was scared in a movie in a long time.
Yeah. Really? It's creepy.
That's the one where the... You've seen It Follows.

Speaker 1 I've never seen it. There's a scene where the thing that It Follows just turns into Pedro.
Looks exactly like Pedro Salinas. Really? So I've never seen that.
Oh, it was me and Beezard. Okay.

Speaker 1 I loved that fucking movie. Was that a Stephen King? No, you're thinking of it.

Speaker 1 True. No, he did a new movie.
Or he did a new show that was on HBO like five years ago. Yeah, that was

Speaker 1 about a guy who's like the same place in two places. It was kind of like The Stranger or some shit.
The Outsider? Yeah, it was the Outsider. That's what it was.
It was the Outsider.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We're at our

Speaker 1 best. Let's go straight into the Patreon.
Yeah. We've got plenty more incredible stories for you.
For sure. Lewis is going to give us more tips on kid nudity movies.