Ep 551 - BullDoggin' (feat. Nate Marshall)

The wild, wild, Wes.

You guys want to smoke another cigarette out there?

Yeah.

And perv out or what?

Yeah, I have a meeting shortly, so it's good you wasted time.

You guys were out.

You knew.

Of course you knew.

As soon as Matt arrived, you guys should have been ready.

And instead, LaMare, don't act like you're writing anything.

Time stomps.

Dude, by the way, remember last week when I was saying on White Lotus

when the guy said swastika?

Yeah.

He did say swastika.

Everyone thought, they're like, no, it's swati.

I'm not. dude by the way uh remember last week when i was saying on white lotus when the guy did said swastika yeah he did say swastika everyone thought they're like no it's swatida it was swastika yeah i believe i started downing myself i'm like did i just hear that mike is i mean there is definitely a nazi frenzy going on right now i was like i started worrying i go what the hell am i just hearing stuff that's starting to hear it that's exactly what dog whistle is only you can hear it oh I'm starting to hear the whisper from the nest I'm like what the hell yeah it's coming but yeah no it actually did it was in the script because they actually interviewed him about that like did you improv that and he goes no they put it in the script instead of saying sawatida which is like hello and whatever Thailand yeah just random swastika what they're in Thailand yeah he was it was yeah whatever but he did say swastika so yeah man swastika I could say it I'm not they are hot right now I don't agree with them yeah I don't agree with them if I saw that in my neighbor's yard I'd be fucking they're on they're on Teslas now they're on Teslas we love Teslas they're Teslas.
You see Trump, dog, with that? What did he say? He basically did. Him and Elon did a car commercial for Teslas in front of the White House.
He goes, we love Teslas. We love Teslas.
Yes. They really did a Tesla car commercial? Dude, I heard this.
Again, I haven't substantiated it. I saw it was just two guys in fitness gear on Instagram.

So this is my source.

So definitely hard allegedly. That's where everyone gets their information now.

Dude, these guys seem so confident.

They're in a very cool room.

And they were like, well, obviously, driving a Tesla reduces your testosterone by 18%.

And the other guy goes, I mean, yeah, that's indisputable.

The EMFs.

They're trying to say the EMFs from electric vehicles lower your testosterone.

And I can't get it out of my head. I got picked up on the on In the Uber the other day And I was like God damn I'll tell you what The guys selling testosterone Are fucking making bank Every single podcast Is like Yeah what'd you have today Peanut butter and jelly Yeah that lowers your testosterone You know alright Alright thank you I think thinking about your testosterone I think podcasting lowers your testosterone I'm tired of hearing Guys talking about being men while talking into a fucking microphone.
So many fucking tough guys doing podcasts these days. It's literally the biggest girl thing you can do is sit there and gossip in front of a camera.
Dude, if you know how to like, if you get a real man on a podcast, they're like, and then I told them, like they're 10 feet away. They're not near the microphone.
They go, what?

Is this what you guys do?

You just talk here?

Yeah, if you get a microphone, it should be this far from your head.

You should just stare nervously and go, I don't know.

Is this good?

What do you want me to say?

Yeah, you're absolutely right.

Podcasting has destroyed.

The EMF's coming from, I don't even know what they are, but those.

EMF's coming from podcasts.

It's coming from tough guy podcasts. Enough of it i think we need them you think we need tough guy we need tough guy pockets like which what would you think it makes america look good we're around we're talking tough who else is doing tough guy podcast every fucking person on the internet i mean no other country we have so many our tough guys need other shit to do we're out of europe well when europe that's a problem when europe gets tough guys you gotta watch their tough guys go pretty wild guys rise up meteoric pace just to the top immediately we need more teslers over there in europe teslers they're yeah they're the right wing in europe i don't read enough about it but i think they're fucking heating up.
They're heating up. Boom, shakalaka.
They're heating up. He's on fire.
Yep, that's how it ends. Yeah.
Our brothers in Europe, chill. Let us handle this shit.
Yeah. It doesn't look good when they do it, too.
They've failed too many times at it. True.
Tough guy podcasts have failed there time and time again true that i'm you would like the the book i'm listening to what is it i get like five minutes a night before you're talking about the one you're falling asleep the guns of august it's very nice you like that narrator bro you would love how it started it's world war one so it's just the funniest mystery world war one's a total mystery literally it's just family it's one family and they're all they're all related like the kaiser is related that's the weirdest part yeah they're all family and they all have to like hang out together and it's like succession except it results in one of the biggest catastrophes in human history yeah dude like how did that happen though like how did those like jealous of each other the kaiser has like a small hand and he's like don't fucking look look at my head. Fuck you.
I think it was him or the Tsar. I forget.
Yeah, the one guy was like fucked up. The one Kaiser.
Was he dumb too? Wilhelm's the one they kind of pinned the entire war on. Shit.
Which that led down. Wait, World War I started just because of a couple dudes beefing? Yeah, pretty much.
Damn. You can boil it down to that.
That stinks. Well, actually, it's a total mystery.

I don't think it's – I think that's the whole point of this book is the buildup to World War I.

So, like, if you look into it, there's explanations.

Yeah, but, like, they all say, like, oh, they were cousins and stuff. But has anyone, like, looked into, like – was that just, like, England trading somebody to France and being like, you marry a guy?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's how – well, World War I was basically the end of monarchies.

Yes.

Thank you. Yeah.
Spicy. They dissolve fast.
But like Marie Antoinette, she wasn't French. She was traded in a...
Where was she from? England? I think Austria. Austria, that's where she was from.
Damn, dude. That must be cool, though, to be like beefing with a whole other country and be like...
Bro, just fuck my daughter. Send her a hot fucking daughter.
Yeah, send her a fucking hot daughter over there. We'll chill.
And if your daughter doesn't work to satisfy the nation, you don't have to like, millions of men have to die. But then the nations, the people don't know shit.
It's not like they're interacting. It's not like there's internet.
They're all just sitting there. And then a royal family will beef and be like, send the bros.
Yeah, send the bros. Send a million other bros over there.
You know, they did a really bad thing. You're just like, what? What did they do? They didn't fuck our daughter? They said our daughter was ugly at a party didn't read go ahead what you say i was gonna say does that mean like back then you like now we're bummed when you have thought daughter does that mean back then they were kind of like thought daughter it's a very american thing did not be thought daughter is big in the world yeah and you go nice i'm gonna send her to a family i'm gonna get a fucking.
Yeah, man. So we're the ones who started caring about that daughter.
Well, I think slut daughter has always been frowned upon. Okay.
Dude, as a brother, your job was hot daughter. Okay, okay.
Hot daughter was perfect. It was like fucking having a Tesla, dude.
It's like getting a Tesla. It was like a Tesla truck.
Yeah. It was like a side bullet truck.
Hot daughter does. Hot daughter raises T from what I've seen.
Oh, yeah. Usually those guys get pretty jacked and angry.
You have to. Yeah.
You're going to get pissed. Or it lowers T significantly and you're like, yeah, she's gorgeous.
There's two ways to go. You either get jacked and get a gun and go, I'll kill anyone that'll fuck her.
Or you go, isn't she beautiful? She's dating the hottest guy. Yeah.
She's dating the quarterback. Isn't that awesome? Yeah.
That's more mid-daughter behavior if you have a babe daughter you got to go way high you gotta get jacked you gotta get a divorce and get jacked yes right away divorce right away you say babe i don't have a problem with you but our daughter's just way too hot we our daughter's too hot we gotta split up i gotta fucking focus on myself i gotta get i gotta get tan now i gotta prepare myself to sexually assault a 21-year-old man if I have to.

To do CrossFit every day.

Just to bulldog a kid in his apartment, like post-college, off-campus. Yeah, when you watch White Lotus last night?

No, no, no.

Don't spoil it.

Don't spoil it.

I didn't get to see it last night.

That's a nice story of a guy getting bulldogged.

Really?

You're going to love it.

Dude, it's so funny.

My brother, Tom, was telling me that he thinks, and I haven't seen it, so I can't comment

I don't seen it, so I can't comment on it, but he was like. Tom got hit with the ultimate taboo last night.
Did he get hit finally? There was a big taboo last night. Tom said it's the ultimate sex addict share.
He was saying, coming to a meeting. Oh, that's the one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't wait to see it.
That's the guy getting bulldogged. Really? Sam Rockwell.
Which one's Sam Rockwell? Oh, I know who you're talking about. He's a man.
No. Yeah, he makes an appearance just to talk about getting bulldogged.
No. I spoiled it.
No. He literally just cameos just to be like, I've been getting bulldogged.
No. What the fuck is this? Bulldogged.

Yeah, man.

Fuck, I forget how he words it, too.

He does use a funny word like that.

Really?

It's not bulldogged, but he's like getting piped down or something.

Something crazy.

Was this a forced bulldogging or like a consensual bulldogging?

No, it's a consensual dog.

Fuck it.

I'll just tell you.

Hey, there's no fucking sensual bulldogging. That's not a real thing.
If it's consensual, it ain't bulldogging. True.
It's not, I mean, you're consensual with the guy doing the bulldogging. You have given him permission, but you aren't consenting to what drove you to get bulldogged.
Oh, it was a consensual dogging. It was a consensual dogging.
But he was fighting demons. Oh.
And he thought one way to get rid of it was to get bulldogs. If you want to feel better about yourself, if you ever want to feel better about yourself sexually, read like sex addict, like anonymous, kind of like them reporting on them falling to real sex addiction.
It's harrowing, dude. It's crazy.
Just like the shit they do to get i mean dude it's like yeah like like like imagine instead of the podcast was like later babe and i was just raw dogging prostitutes and like worrying about hiv and i really want to spoil it there's a soft there was a soft white underbelly i mean you can if you want there's just a story it's it's it's not like in integral to the plot in any way yeah i don't care he sits down he's like they're like where have you been he's like i found god i'm sober now and then he's like i i moved here to thailand he doesn't tell say why something happened a crime and then he moves to thailand and he's like and you know me i always i had a thing for asian women so i started i was just buying women fucking them all day every day thousands of women and he's like and then finally i started to realize maybe i you know they complete my other half maybe i should feel what it's like to be them so i started you know dressing up a little dressing up a little trying on some costumes getting plugged then also he's hiring guys to plug him he's getting plugged while he hires an Asian prostitute to sit and watch. And he would fucking stare at her in the eyes.
Was he trying to get his pipe game better? Because he wanted to understand what it was like. Yeah, he wanted to feel what it was like.
And he said he was hiring guys that looked like him. So he could dress like a woman and feel like what it's like to fuck him.
Size-wise too? Didn't talk size. Did not talk size.
I mean, if he was going facial appearance, he was probably checking size. But I would imagine if you're willing to fuck a guy in the butt for money, you have a huge dong.
I have a small penis, and I would never do something like that. That's true.
That's why we have beautiful statues of us in antiquity. Of course.
We were just sitting there charting the stars. You're a freaky ass.
What? Yeah, we were charting the stars, dude. We were too busy.
I was charting the stars last night. Were you really? I was out there like, goddamn, moon's big.
You can see a lot of planets, too. You can see a lot of planets out there.
We have the app. I mean, obviously, dude, yeah.
We have the app. Did you look at the stars last night, or were you just fucking freaky? No, I was inside all day, all night.
I went out to walk the dog. That was it.
Really? The stars were good last night. Was it a special star day? It was a special star day.
You get a ride? Yeah, you get a ride. That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen.
What the fuck are you talking about? Is it a special star day? Well, I don't know. There was a lunar eclipse a couple days ago.
Yeah. So I didn't know if it was like a...
Yeah, a big lunar eclipse. I missed it.

I was driving home from motherfucking Dallas.

I didn't know there was a lunar eclipse.

Yeah.

It was at like 2.30, 2.34 to be exact.

Thursday night.

It was like a lunar eclipse and a blood moon, right?

Like a red blood moon or something.

Well, there was a blood sun due to the fires.

No, I didn't see the blood sun.

You didn't see that?

There was a blood red sun.

Oh, nice.

Because they had... Yeah, I wasn't here.
This weekend. Yeah, because they had fires in like douglasville or ever somewhere fredericks yeah i keep going douglasville fredericksburg it was in uh the new 20 dollar billsville and uh and yeah dude they fought it was crazy it's a blood red sun i know i heard about it i was afraid i wasn't gonna be able to fly in oh yeah through all the smoke yeah yeah it was fun sure the pilot was going this episode is brought to you by call of duty calling all call of duty fans verdansk is back in call of duty war zone starting on april 3rd you'll be able to drop back into verdansk experience all the chaos and relive the thrill you've been missing not only will you get the classic battle royale experience we all know and love but verdance is back with upgraded graphics and gameplay that's right you'll be experiencing verdance like never before smoother movement stunning visuals and new mechanics whether you're dropping in solo or teaming up with your squad it's time home to Verdansk.
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Ask your doctor about Otesla. Call 1-84-0-tesla or visit otesla.com for prescribing info info about cost and more yeah i gotta fly on fucking wednesday where you headed uh royal oaks michigan nice yeah just added a early show by the way thursday please fill it up but the uh but yeah the uh yeah that'll be sick my whole family now that I know if you land on water your plane explodes man that yeah I couldn't believe you thought that I was so confident being like we're over the water we'll just fucking glide down you were like that nah and I was like bro our plane's gonna first off it's gonna be shattered in my head I was like you're so fucking negative about everything I looked at it I was like god damn it's like no our plane's definitely gonna and even if it did land it it'll sink it's like a car they were like if it if your plane doesn't break into pieces on water that's like that's literally the miracle yeah you're like a wheel grabs the water and the whole thing just like stops cannon damn yeah that was that surprising i've been over bodies of water being like, we're safe.
I mean, I'm sorry to take that away from you. I'm sorry.
Yeah. You really need a runway pretty much.
You need a runway. Yeah.
You know, maybe a flat plane. Yeah, if there's like a hill, you're fucked.
Yeah, exactly. If there's a speed bump, you're getting launched.
Although the ramp, though. If you, like, landed and then you got the ramp, the air would be sick.

The air you would catch would be kind of worth it.

You would catch some nice air.

You would catch some crazy air.

You would go.

Just for one second.

Take off my mask.

You go see that fucking.

Someone was saying if the masks are just to get you high off the oxygen.

If that's the case, let's break something else out. Heroin.
Yeah, anything. Drop down the heroin.
Dude, nitrous at least? Yeah. Like, come on now.
That's fucking bull, dude, to be like, oh, yeah, we're giving you a boardwalk oxygen bar. Yeah, that's actually a good point.
There should be a second mask. Because sometimes they just drop the mask out of, like, depressurized.
Oh yeah yeah you need to but they should give you a little anesthesia exactly you know i mean just like here something count to 10 yeah i would i would anesthesia my family i would definitely just in case when the pilots pass it yeah it's very swastika of you i'm gonna anesthesiahesia my kids and play this thing out.

Dude, yeah,

his shit now is, I mean,

I can't even, he is dying

on the craziest hill.

Being a Nazi? Yeah.

Well, not even if he's a Klansman too now.

Oh, I saw that. Wait, is he? He wears Klan

robes. Dude, the funniest thing was him

saying, I'm a Klansman now.

There were comments from black people that were like, alright, now I'm done. Where were you on the fucking Nazi shit? Finally, you've gone too far.
I was dying. Ever since you said that, he's gone several steps beyond.
I keep seeing that comment now. I keep laughing and being like, all right, that's enough.
Now I'm done. You think he's doing a bit? I think he's just fucking around.
Obviously, he's doing a bit. Yeah, yeah.
I for a while didn't realize. I'm starting to.
I mean, yeah, he is taking the most hateable things. He's now being like, the audition is my favorite.
Did you see the new audition for Vultures or whatever? Where he wants to do like a live chorus. I guess not like his Sunday service.
It could be a Sunday service. I don't know.
But it's like he wants to do now a chorus of all black men, no white men. And you have to be at least the complexion of Diddy.
Dark enough. You have to be at least as dark as Diddy's.
Diddy's his dead shark. No, that's his exact words.
You got to be at least the complexion of Diddy. And he must be willing to shave your head and his volunteer volunteer, and you have to wear swastika.
But other than that, he's going to get so many volunteers. Oh, for sure.
Yeah. It's going to be in Compton, too.
Oh, man. Or like this L.A.
area. So, yeah, be on the lookout for that.
That's going to be a bunch of shaved. It's going to be the funniest thing that's ever happened.
Oh, man. But yeah, man, he's iced out now.
He's got the swastika ice fucking flooded on both sides, too. If you can't flood the other side of swastika.
Wait, I have not seen this. He's flooded on both sides.
He's got an iced out swastika. There's no way this is going to be the coolest thing I've ever seen.
I mean, that would be an heirloom. Finding a jeweler to do that had to be impossible.
You'd be surprised. Oh, true.
True. A lot of them.
Well, now that's a bit of a... Yeah.
Yeah. Never mind.
I knew what I was saying. Yeah, I mean, it'll be interesting, man.
This is just a phase. He's going to be on to something else.
Yeah. I mean, I actually don't know if he got it.
Really? Yep, there it is. Oh, man.
Yep. Yeah, he was showing that thing off.
Oh, shit. Damn.
I mean, here's the thing, though. If you can't flood both sides, what are you even doing? Wait so the other side is Is no diamonds? No hell yeah It's all flooded out bro He was just saying If anyone else can't flood The other side of their swastika Diamond Their swastika diamond pendant He was calling them a loser Like that He said what are you A fucking loser? Damn Yeah he's flexing man He's His new songs are out.
Read the lyrics. They're pretty...
I mean, they're so funny. I haven't...
Yeah, I haven't. Oh, his new raps are...
They've been tough to find. Oh, they're on Twitter.
He's doing vocal runs of the lyrics, and it's like... Again, he is a wordsmith, but it's just about him being a Nazi.
That's so funny. Oh, it's a Nazi album?

Yeah, I mean, the cover of the album

is a giant swastika as well.

He's fond of them right now.

Hitler's ghost is going to be sad

when he finds out this is a bit.

Yeah, true.

You know what I mean?

Because right now,

he's probably got his hopes up.

Oh, for sure.

Yes.

The one guy that would see that necklace

would be like,

whoo.

We did it.

Holy shit, that's sick.

I knew history would look kindly on my act. It was a joke.
He's doing it, man. That's the...
I mean, it is a good experiment. What if we just let all the worst stuff out of the bag and maybe it'll prove that most people actually are pretty level-headed and they'll just be like, oh, fuck, this is weird, but we feel confident this won't catch on.
That's the thing. I think people worry this is going to catch on, and people are going to be like, hold on a second, actually.
Yeah. Yeah.
But, yeah, that's pretty wild stuff. Yeah, Kanye doesn't get black people to start going around wearing SWAT stickers.
That would be devastating. I feel like every – I don't know.
I feel like black men do have a hall pass right now to be like, dude, this is my favorite artist. I don't know.
I was just trying it out too. Black men kind of have a Nazi hall pass for the next...
I think 2025 is all about the black male Nazi hall pass. All right.
I won't say no. It's a fair production.
It's a very reasonable prediction. Yeah, we'd have to...
Hold on a second. What was that? I almost bought one of the Kanye West Sean John shirts, though.

Oh, OK.

What was the Sean John shirts?

He made Sean John shirts, like, for Diddy.

He's, LaMere, as a hill-dier yourself,

you've got to be just taking that.

Is that what you're taking notes on right now?

It's Kanye's boobs.

Yeah.

No, I haven't paid attention. I've been out of the loop.
I didn't know about the full Nazi album oh yeah yeah you're keeping it from I had no idea about the album I had no idea they might be hitting more of the white algos right now a little harder right now yeah that makes sense my algo is crazy dude I'm the least xenophobic guy in the world and i get nothing i get nothing but just the craziest content yeah and then you know i watch it but it's like it's it works i become hateful it works really well it literally is is all hate it's for real yeah and it works i, it's just it works is that it gets the most numbers. Every fight, 7 million views.
And then I watched a really like it was like a genuinely touching video of like it was like a bunch of like young black kids about to fight. And this old man came up and gave him.
Did you see that? Yeah. Gave him the speech.
Like, what are you doing? Blah, blah, blah. I checked the view count.
It was like 200,000. Then it was just a lady getting socked in the face.
million i was like dang yeah dang no that stuff works it's like the lady who fucks a thousand guys in a day or whatever yeah that content works it kills it makes you angry i saw a clip of her sitting on the ground they were like guys in football pads behind her like a team and she was like i can't are you guys ready to turn my tight end into a wide receiver yeah yeah we Yeah, we'll fucking do it. I was just looking at it going, fuck.
Maybe they'll rise, the 1,000 men slut ladies. Everyone's worried about Kanye and his Nazi army.
What if those ladies rise? That's a problem. They're putting together an army.
They are, dude. They could send those 1,000 men.
One of them's pregnant. One of the sluts.
One of the sluts. It was fake.
It was fake? It was fake. Well, wasn't she like raising awareness? That made no sense.
She goes, using my platform to raise awareness for pregnant ladies. I'm a lady.
Yeah, that's some bullshit. You shouldn't fake being pregnant.
That's not right. I agree.
It's a classic move. Why was she faking? What a fucking psycho lady move.
To get clicks. She just posted a video with her with a fake.
She fucked a thousand guys. Yeah, she had like a fake pregnant belly on.
It was like, I'm pregnant. And everyone was like, see, that's what you got, bitch.
Fuck you, dumb bitch. If you abort that trial, I'll fucking kill you, bitch.
You don't think she just got rid of the baby? I'm sure. Well, she would have showed that fast either.
I got triggered. I'm fucking dumbass.
I should have known that. You never know when they filmed the original one.
True. Or maybe.
Could have been months ago. Yeah.
And perhaps before that thousand man gangbang, she was maybe up to some other Ludax before that. No.
Her. She's pure as the driven snow.
That's all we'll have now. She would never.
That's the world, dude. In 2030, it'll just be Nazi men and thousand lady slut gangbangs.
We're in for a rough future. But can they? They cannot coexist.
You got to pick a side. You're either skinhead black Nazi or British thousand slut lady.
There's no. That's the next war.
Those two cannot coexist. Ironic black Nazis versus.
Ironic black Nazis versus literal hundred thousand gangbang ladies. That's a weird arms race because then someone's got to go.
There's got to be like a speed of sound kind of thing. Like someone's going to hit the absolute limit.
Or do you try to work it where like if 1,000 in a day, I'm still kind of like, I don't think it's too completion. Or is a gay guy going to step up and go, this is how guys do it? Yeah.
Are we going to smash the record? I think they're doing that, and they're not doing it for the clicks. They're doing it for, hey.
It's love of the game. That's love of the game.
Yeah, where are my motherfucking sweet boys at, man? Let's fire this up. Sweet boys will get it going.
We can't have them crushing the record. Although that could be one of those things.
You ever see when guys, you're like, this is the women's powerlifting record and just crush it? Yeah. Women might, that might be their record, man.
I don't know if a dude could break a thousand guys in the boat. That seems like it would actually kill you.
In the butsla. Yeah.
I think you would actually die. From what die from a thousand guys from a scourge from god a thousand locusts get bulldogged a thousand times yeah they will get struck by like just explode you want the wrath of god everywhere.
Yeah, man.

There's definitely Very confusing times right now True Happy St. Patrick's Day Yeah Got my green shirt Yeah My whole family We decked the kids out today Gave them the little Like beads in their braids Orange, white And orange, white And green it's pretty sick yeah we irished them out it's pretty sick i didn't realize that's why you're wearing that i thought i thought it was just a cool shirt st patty that is a really fucking sick shirt thank you you gotta bring out a celebratory claw true i got a white claw for st patty's i gotta stay off the booze i went to a ke You did a kegger yesterday? Yeah, I saw the group text.
You guys were in shambles yesterday. Yeah.
What happened? Well, I didn't do nothing but a good time. Yesterday I rested.
One time Meezy texted at like 4 p.m. I was like, I'm already fucked up.
Oh, yeah. I did the roast battle last night.
Just your first show. Oh.
Yeah. And I was drinking.
I was having fun. Oh, okay, yeah.
Did you get roasted or did you judge the roast? No, I was sick yeah yeah it was pretty funny i get anxiety thinking about those things yeah just being up on a roast battle i've it would just just get demolished and be like no seriously you're being a fucking dick right now i'll fucking fight you right now this is bullshit even judging to catch you i'm like fuck you like you know what man i never do this i never do this fuck you man that actually hurt my feelings i finally got to meet alexis fox she was one of the judges who's that that's the lady who gave me the uh fleshlight i finally got to meet her oh yeah flashlight or her like specific like her specific flashlight did you go up to meet her. Oh.
A flashlight or her specific? Like her specific flashlight. Did you go up to her and pussy felt great? No.
Wait, what did you say? You go up to her and go, pussy felt great. True.
She broke you off a little sample. She was nice.
She was so nice. That's a smart gal.
Take the stress off the real one. Be like, here, fucking.
Roll it out.

Stick around.

Give it to the thousand Lemares.

No.

What would you say?

I was just laughing about Lemaire being one of those horses that they give fake pussies

so they could.

Stut them out.

Yeah.

Stut them out. For breeding purposes.
Stud them out. God.
That could be the only thing we have to fight against the Nazis and sluts in the future. Clone army of Lemaire's.
True. The clone army.
The clone army. To disgust.
No, that nation would be captured by the sluts instantly. I was going to say.
There would be serfs in pussy and met her It'd be simps Simpsburg Be conquered immediately I'm no simp The slut army would devastate you The lady's fake vagina And then met her and we're excited to meet her If there's a clone army I'm gonna take out All the slut lichen parts We're gonna be like just pure Oh you're saying we're gonna breathe that part out of you You gotta breathe it out That's your core, did you ever see Inside Out? That's like the core marble That's like That's like the core memory. You're the horniest guy a lot.

No way.

You've got to be.

No, Nate's the horniest guy.

He's the Paul King.

True, true.

He's royalty.

No, he actually is right.

You're the horniest guy.

I was sitting here quiet.

Yes, that's fair.

Damn, the clone Nate would attack the clone Lemares They were trying to save the sluts You'd have to watch out though You'd have I'd be talking to the Nazi bros They're giving pussy out over there man Fucking chill out Let them do their thing Yeah true Although the black skinhead Nazis would have some pussy going on.

You know?

They would be strictly so blind. You guys, your queen would be, you guys would answer to your queen.

The naked lady.

Who's Kanye's naked wife?

Oh.

He's putting fucking saran wrap and marched around Venice every 10 minutes.

Fucking crazy.

That's probably my favorite thing he's doing right now.

Not probably.

A hundred percent.

That's just one of his side. Yeah, that's like, I mean,, that's his wife.
I think they broke up. Don't believe it.
I think that's a room. They tricked me a couple times saying they broke...
Did they actually break up? I'm not sure. I think it's a room.
I think they're still together and have... I just remember seeing it like a clip of Bill Maher talking about it being like they broke up and the crowd being like, whoo! I know.
That's the funniest thing. Like, her mind...
She's mind- She's being mind-controlled. Or she's a slut.
Hey, that's a man's wife, man. A hot wife, I meant to say.
Or she's a hot wife. That's even worse than he's a cuck.
I mean, but isn't that hot wife, though? I think that's actually part of hot wife. You're a hot wife to get a bull.
You get a bulldozer. Get an okay rental bulldozer.
Yeah, you're a fucking bulldozer troller. What have you found with your research? So it turns out they are having marriage troubles right now.
What? Bianca and Kanye. No way.
What the hell? He was spotted yesterday with a woman who looks exactly like her but is not her. He might have the clone army.
He knows actually how the clone army actually But she doesn't look exactly like

This is just the tabloid

Is it just she has giant tits

Yeah she's just a pretty lady

Well there's a lot of enhanced ladies too

A lot of ladies are going to start

We're going to have like a lady singularity

Because they're starting to all look the same

Yeah

Huh?

No that's what's nice about her

Those are giant natties

She's nattie

She's not enhanced

No she's pure nabby

She's blessed by the lord

Who?

Bianca Sensori

I don't know

What does she do?

Is that the current lady?

Yeah that's the current lady? Yeah, that's Kanye's wife. Current wife.
My bad. No.
In my mind, everyone knows it. I did know her.
Didn't she just have a movie come out, too? I don't think so. They did like a movie in Japan that was called like Bianca.
About her? Yeah, I swear to God. She starred in a movie in Japan.
i could see her being worshipped in japan for sure for sure i mean that's that huh that's true yeah she's got a movie started in japan you're tapped in i take a break i just go on x i take a break bro it's on x on my computer i take a break from writing. I just go on X.
It's on X on my computer. I take a break from writing and I go I go into X and I go, oh, shit.
Holy fuck. It's happening.
She's got a fucking movie on fucking in Japan. Really? It's pretty nice.
It's pretty cool. It's about the female body.
That's surprising.

I thought she was going to branch out and...

Oh, nope.

She stuck to the old bread and butter.

We're coming up with a movie.

It's about tits.

Who did you get?

Dan, what is the movie all about?

I might fly to Japan and...

Yeah, I might go to the premiere.

Wear the exact same outfit as her.

I might dress up a little bit. Yeah, I might dress up.
Fashion-focused movie censored around Kanye and Sensori's relationship, exploring the female body. It's fashion-focused? Fashion-focused.
Kanye produced it. It could be the next summer block.
This is the thing I was worried about. I believe it's an comes out with a yeah that's kind of sure he's also banned from italy i think from getting head on the boat but yeah he's on the dungle in the gongle he had plumbers crack he was getting head he had plumbers crack getting head on a boat in italy apparently in italy it was like you're not a lot of back i can't believe italy's against this that's what i'm dude.
That's like nothing for Italy. I would assume that's all Venice is like that's what it's about.
You have a kid with a stick pushing you around. You have your like half your ass out.
Murky fucking shitty river. Yeah, this is a I worry he's going to come out with a absolute summer banger though and everyone's gonna be god damn it's so good that would be nice it would be sick yeah that'd be fun but that's gonna that could charge things up if people are saying it you know people will like if the lyric if a song's good people are gonna rap it so if there's like clubs full of people all summer be like yeah, yeah, I'm a motherfucking Nazi.
Yeah. Yeah.
You know that. That could be a that could be problematic.
That could be. And you're right.
That that is possible. Yeah.
If I was like Jewish and anyone can do it. I got that turned up.
I'm in there. Like, fuck.
Yeah. True.
That could be a problem. Yeah.
But yeah, I think we're safe don't think i don't think the nazi stuff's gonna catch on like culturally like people worry people really worry about that it's like nah what do you mean hasn't it already caught on no i mean catch on bro i mean no you mean like in germany like it's it's not like catching on like germany but it's building some steam dude that's what i'm saying it's it's maybe but you're talking about a frack like a small percentage of people that already there are already people banging like that they just started tweeting about it but if it main if a fucking hit undeniably hit catchy song hits the mainstream then it's a problem that could make but it's like i don't know will people just fucking sing the song yeah because people listen to i don't know because it's like gang you know if you think about like gangster rap does that have like a weird subconscious sway on like people's behaviors i would say definitely so maybe now i'm sounding like a white guy. No, I agree.

I'm an old man. Violent music.

It makes you do violent things.

That's his whole point.

He's like, if we can talk about killing each other in songs,

why can't I talk about being an Aussie?

I hear you.

But either way, let's get out of the switching gears.

By the way, you guys can't see my band. I don't want you guys To see this It's fucking real badass Matt tried to take His own life For real Matt got sad For real dude Water dude A five gallon glass Water jug Got me I should have known How the fuck It's a five gallon jug That's huge I know It's fucking massive Where was that Outside my was like, or not my, like my little thing near my garage.
But I, uh. What are you doing with it? I store.
I store water. I always keep, I try to keep like 30 gals on me at all times.
Why? Dude, remember when Philly, were you in Philly? I know you were in New York. Philly had like chemicals spill into the river.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I started, I started getting them there.
Then I kind of liked the five gallon glass jugs. So I just kept getting them delivered to my new house and they were outside and there was just a fucking there was a hole i saw water i'm like what the fuck and then i saw a hole in one of them i don't know if they got like slammed down and popped yeah maybe somebody a lawnmower shot i don't know what happened but there's a hole i'm like that's weird so i went to pick it up and the it just it was already cracked i couldn't see it's when i picked it up the weight of it just came down and fucking oh fuck gashed me right before this i just dressed my wound and fucking out of the apologies this morning just now like before i left it was late to the pot it was bleed that's why i wrapped it so aggressively because it wouldn't stop bleeding so i just wrapped it up and i was always let you know jesus time do its thing and also nicotine constricts the blood vessels so i had i had to do that yeah of course i had to constrict my fucking blood vessels i've been pretty disciplined on those things and they've been starting to fucking overcome they've been starting to break that yep that's how it goes because i'm no caffeine for lit and honestly dude i think nicotine greater than caffeine i would say caffeine rules but like nicotine no nicotine is really addictive yeah caffeine i can I can accidentally go a couple days without drinking coffee.
See, I couldn't. Now I can.
Now I go, well, there's something better. I'm a crackhead.
Yeah. If I go, oh, fuck, I only have one left.
I have to leave right now to go buy more. You know what? Or flip every fucking pillow in this.
I was wondering. Who knows? I was like thinking i was pretty immune to it i'm

like no i just use it when i'm writing it's a good you know cognitive enhancer and then like i wouldn't have the weekends i wouldn't be writing so i've been taking them and i'm be like man i'm really tired i have no energy i'm trying to really irritable right now i must have some sort of bug i'm like i was fucking nicotine withdrawal yeah god for sure but no i i'm i I stay disciplined.

I am.

So I've been doing one a day.

One three or one six?

Huh?

One three or one six huh one three or one six three i'm a three milligram weirdo for sure the mints are strong though they they they were stronger than the six milligrams in really yeah like as far as like because you just yeah you're just paul's just swallowing true thank you spicy it is spicy the spicy. He swallowed it spicy.
Dude, I had a... Don't stop taking notes.
Yeah, true're just... Pause.
Just swallowing. True.
Sure, thank you for that. Spicy.
It is spicy. Swallowing the spicy.
You're swallowing the spicy. Dude, I had a...
But man, don't stop taking notes. Yeah, true, man.
What's... Take me back to the last time.
Our stenographer. It says nicotine.
Okay, sir. How'd you spell it? N-I-C-O-T-I-N-E.
Very good. Thank you.
I was hoping there was a K in there there dude i uh i think i might have outed myself as an absolute psycho to my neighbor yesterday walked outside i didn't think i usually in the morning nobody's out back and i let my dogs out and we have a little frisbee outside like i'll throw to matilda every now and in the morning and if i'm in a rush but she doesn't get the frisbee but she'll like she'll like hit it and be like and i was like dude you're not getting the frisbee i was like go pee i was gonna get a rush i was like go pee i didn't my neighbor's on the other side of the fence i was like matilda go pee or i'll fucking kill you and then i just hear oh i was like oh hey i was just joking around oh hi i don't really know what i said so it might have been even worse. I just say the worst shit.

Whenever she doesn't listen, I'll be like, for real, I'll cut your fucking head off.

I'll just say the start of the day and the end of the night.

That's the last thing I do before I go to bed.

I let them in.

If they don't listen, I'm like, you motherfuckers, get in here.

I swear to fucking God.

The lady heard, I don't know what I said, but she heard me say it.

She went, oh.

Is she an older lady?

Yeah, a little bit.

Yeah. Oh.
I was like, oh, hey, how you guys doing over there and i was like fuck what did i just say did you try to clean it up like i'll just play it with them i talk to them like that not even i just let it run yeah i just let it ride but yeah other than that though dude my backyard's been popping dude the gardening might be my favorite thing ever that's very nice you got animals in? Nope. I put a cayenne.
So I tried the red pepper flakes to keep out the mice, but they're flakes. You got to get pepper powder.
My brother Kevin was telling me to get cayenne pepper powder, and I ordered a pound of cayenne pepper powder and just dumped it. I fucked them up.
It's where they live. Hold on.
One second. Yeah.
Pause. This episode is brought to you by PrizePix.
Oh, yeah. we're in the second half of the basketball season and the race to the playoffs is heating up on prize picks the best place to cash in on your favorite sports this is what we're thinking for picks this week i mean shane i'm looking at the basketball board and selecting i don't know maybe jason tatum for more than 25 points i like that i was thinking more like julius randall for more than eight rebounds.um for more than 25 points? I like that.
I was thinking more like Julius Randle for more than eight rebounds.

Anthony Edwards, more than 25 points.

I like that.

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I've never thought about Jalen Brown and doing fantasy sports action

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Prize picks.

Run your game.

I mean, that's what it's all about.

I love prize picks.

And fuck March Madness.

I'm focused on the NBA. True that.

You know what I mean?

Now that my sweet 76ers have tanked,

I wouldn't mind placing some more or less picks.

Now your emotions are out of it.

My emotions are gone. I can go 76ers playing less, less, less, less, less.
Just on some of your favorite stat projections. Some of my favorite stat projections? Yes, more or less.
More or less. A thousand times, dude.
Conor McDavid, more than more goals. There we go.
A lot of people go, whoa, that's crazy. Bang.
Just like that, 1,000 times more, you've won literally a billion dollars. Now you're a billionaire.
Yeah. 1,000 millions is a billion.
That's all. 1,000 millions is a billion.
That's all I'm saying, man. Is a building.
Prize picks. Run your game.
You're mad at Elon? Maybe a million dollars if you're a billionaire. You can take them down.
Picks. A million dollars on on Connor McDavid.
Don't picks. Just fuck.

Whatever.

And we're back.

The kind of pepper in the garden.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, dude.

So I've been at war with the mice.

I got what works for birds

because birds were fucking me up too.

You got to get shit in your garden that moves.

So I have like one of those owls,

those like fake owls and its head swivels.

I have wind chimes, scares them.

And I also have like a little spinny thing is that they detect like motion motion that freaks them out. But mice don't really give a fuck.
So you just got to sprinkle the spices around for them. They step in that cayenne powder.
They have strong senses of smell, apparently. Oh, they don't like it.
Dude, where they live, I just... A whole fucking...
Just a big bag of cayenne powder. Just fucking them up.
Fuck them up. Yeah.
Not killing them, just making them making them uncomfortable i was making them they smell it they're like nah i'm good on that yeah what are you done doing the uh those the baking powder dude apparently i made an ass to myself they could i thought you were close i was close but i don't i don't know i haven't i haven't seen them after that though i will say and then some I saw one. And, dude, I got too many radishes to lose right now, dude.
It turns out that's the only thing I can grow. I'm just a shitty radish farmer.
You sound like you're playing Animal Crossing. I'm going to pickle them.
You get to eat any of the radishes yet? Not yet. I got, like, they'll be, I think in a month, they'll be fully grown.
I got a lot. I'll drop some off to you.
Please. I got some radishes, and I'm growing flowers right now, too.
That's very nice. What kind of flowers? I don't even know what they're called.
They're just big. I just picked the craziest-looking flowers.
Yeah. I'm starting to see what it takes.
So they're thriving. My flowers are thriving.
My leeks are thriving. What a perfect time to plant those, too.
Exactly. Yeah.
I got it right in time. And then I have, this will be, it's a year out, but I have blackberries, raspberries, just blackberries, raspberries, and golden raspberries.
I don't know. I've never even heard of those.
Damn, it takes a year to grow those? It's called a cane, so it's just a raspberry stalk. So it takes a year to bear fruit.
I always wondered why people got so mad at an animal for eating in their garden. Bro.
That would piss me the fuck off. I've been waiting a year for one fucking basket of raspberries.
That's what I'm saying. Some piece of shit.
Awesome. I have a couple carrots going.
Your are like oh fuck yeah i'm gonna eat a carrot from my garden come back one day the greens are gone and they're all fucked up and it's like it's truly it's kind of nice i will say it does teach you patience because like every day it's like another thing to check and go oh you see a little bit of progress and then if i'm like rushing out the door if i'm in like rush mode and i'm like damn i didn't water my garden yet garden yet. If I'm rushing to where I don't water my garden, I know I have a fucked up mentality and I got to switch back.
I got to go Zendini. Keeps you Zendini because you got to go, dude, I got to stay kind of somehow connected to this.
Zendini, are you staying Zendini? I broke my Zen fest a couple times this week. What happened? I've been Zendini.
Just responded to people for once. True, true, true.
You're just defending yourself like a master. you're zend out you've been zendini that's gg the kegger was in was it zend out actually no i was kind of a piece it's pretty zendini to admit that though yeah he's very quick to admit when he's being a piece of shit the next day i mean dude yeah dude.
Yeah, that's true, too. Everyone's finding out that you were right all along.
Everyone. I'm Sean Stradamus.
That is true. I got to give it to you, though.
It might have been the easiest prediction of all time. Yeah, that is true.
Sean Stradamus. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm back on my Zendini tip.
I was off it for a while. Our day will come.
Caffeine will put me off. I'm not Zendini.
When I'm on daily caffeine... Really? Oh, my God, no.
You get grumpy. I get...
Yeah, it's grumpy, and it's like... I just have...
My fuse is so fucking short. Like, usually I'll notice things, and I'll be like, okay, well, you shouldn't have done that.
If I'm on the caffeine, I just... I think wife and kids will do that to you as well.
I know, but I'm saying for sure. They catch the wrath.
You're saying Sandini you or Spaz you? I think they do both. Yeah, they'll Spaz you.
They will. But when I crush the coffee and then the morning's euphoric, I have energy.
When it starts to dip and I'm just like, I have that shitty caffeine overdose feeling, it's just anything that happens. I'm like, you guys fucking know that, aren't you? I saw you hang up on somebody because the food was coming.
Can I bring that up? That was my wife. Yes, absolutely.
That was a great story. Yeah, you were.
I don't know. You were on the phone.
Food was coming. You were coffeed up.
You started seeing the food. You were like, I can't fucking do it.
Like, you just grabbed it. Dude, I was telling you all weekend.
I'm like, my favorite thing is like, chill during the week and or during the weekend and then the sunday i do i drink like as much coffee as my body can handle the point where i'm like what i get so jacked up on caffeine on sunday like two two cups for me i'm yeah that's what i mean yeah yeah dude and it was self-serve so i'm like talking nate's ear off it's like my second cup of coffee i'm like and then britney called me i'm like i'm having a conversation with her and our food comes out. I don't even remember what I said to her.
I was like, I can't do this right now. And I just hung up on her.
Cause like the waitress or waiter was met. Well, I didn't realize I did it until I'm like eating.
I'm like still like, so anyway, Nate, and I stopped and I was like, Oh shit. I think I just hung up on Brittany and like a total coffee spaz.
I i apologized real quick i was like yeah i don't even know what happened up on anyone and she was just asking me normal shit and i was like i can't talk right now i don't know what the fuck this is my brother you always keep me on the phone and i just like hung up just fucking dickheaded her on the phone yeah totally uncalled for and i did. I was like, yeah.
And she had been like. Although, was she driving? She wasn't even slaving me.
She wasn't time slaving me. She was just asking me like I was flying home that day.
It was like a very normal question rather than being like, oh, hey, our food's coming out. Let me call you back.
I was just like, I don't know. And I just purely short circuited.
Two cups of Joe. Oh, yeah, dudeed.
That's fucking nuts. Weren't you on a Joe Fast before then, though? Oh, yeah.
You on a Joe Fast first, and then you OD'd on the Joe. That's what I do.
Bro, come Easter. You would have died when I OD'd on the Joe.
I had fucking like nine cold brews at that Panera. Dude, Shane, one cold brew.
I swear to God, one cold brew, I'm high. Like, it's a drug.
Like, I like i'm talking to people and it's just like they feel like they're very far away from me it's weird we gotta get you some adderall i i told you i can't have that we gotta get you just one day just come on it's for an experiment dude i am a push the limits of our bodies that's when i got kicked out of the beastie boys concert it was adderall i jumped I jumped down. But you were also a young man.
You're not going to act a fool like that now. Dude, something happens to me on Adderall where I lock in on things and it's just like, yes.
And I just. Here's my plan.
We get you some Adderall. Yeah.
We take you to Blazer Tag. Let you scream and spaz in there.
I mean, that would be awesome. Exactly.
You'd be so locked in. That's my problem.
That'd be awesome. I get crazy.
You might jump there, though. You might try to get down a level.
That's my problem. I got down a level at the concert, got kicked out.
And the one thing when I was like. Adderall causes you to catch air.
It does. And you might catch air at the blazer tag.
It'd be the first fatality in the blazer tag. Because when I have Adderall, especially it was always with drinking and smoking weed, I would just get an idea and it's like go yeah there's no like well it's like yes let's get this so i remember i saw i was in like westchester i just saw like a 32 out of these bees what there was just these guys sitting down with like you know like girls on like the curb outside eating pizza like a little college town in westchester and i just saw this big cup of soda from a block away and i was just like i'm gonna kick that thing and i was like i'm definitely gonna kick that cup of soda and i came up to it and sure enough i booted it and dude was like what the fuck man i just like came up and was like yo my bad just kept walking i was like i'm sorry i didn't i didn't mean to yeah mr hot huh that's yourall is my Mr.
Hyde. Dr.
Matthew and Mr. B's.
Drinking on Adderall made so much sense in college. Dr.
Matthew and Mr. B's.
It made so much sense in college. Like, I'm tired, but I want to drink.
They're like, bro, take an Adderall. And I was like, yo, good call.
And it would just be the worst situations ever. Yeah, it really isn't that good.
I put down the Adderall. Yeah, the Adder yeah it doesn't really help no it's not necessary i need it once my like critical thinking goes offline i need to get out i need to go to bed i do not need to be turbocharged feels like a great idea to tailgate yeah well yeah when you're a little tired you're like well i deserve to have some fun yeah but yeah it ends up with pretty unsavory behavior.
You ever take that all? Yeah. Only when I'm drinking for the most part.
Yeah. I kind of love it.
Day drinking on Adderall while you're doing it is wonderful. Yeah.
It's probably the best. Or I like night drinking when you're getting tired, but you don't want to end if you're in the middle of, like, a good night.
I love night drinking. We had some good nights here.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Those are some great nights think day drinking i love but i love day drinking but then it always ends bad yeah i've never really had too many day drinks that are others i was like nice i've had a couple where i end up in bed by like 9 30 that's that's the best case scenario but yeah you're right i did it in boston and i just stayed up super late and woke up the next morning with the most vicious like weed slash alcohol. It was not even weed.
It was still high from edibles hungover in the morning. It's just like that combo stinks, dude, hungover and weed high.
Maybe you got to do something. Yeah.
And you're like trying to just crush water to sober up and it's doing nothing. It's making you sick.
Yeah, I was I I was for, I had like frill from that night, slowed down on drinking incredibly. I fear it now.
It was such a wretched state that I was like, I frill thought I was like, I'm, it's like, you know, when you're high and you're like, I'm stuck like this. I thought I was like, I was like, dude, I think I broke my brain.
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It was being high with all that alcohol hangover anxiety.

Just flying home with my wife and just being like.

Oh, man.

It was rough.

You had to fly home?

Oh, yeah.

I've been obviously hungover and a little high on quite a few.

And that's the worst combination. Yeah.
Get home. Especially get home to your kids, and you're like, fuck.
Fuck. I'll let you.
Your father made some poor decisions last night. There was four margaritas in the afternoon that were totally unnecessary.
No, I'd like to see that. I'd like to be around you with four mugs.
Yeah, let's get crunk, dude. Oh, shit, i can't do it no let's let's i got a stage over this week i got the uk this weekend once you once the sketch chills we'll schedule just a crunk day yeah let's get totally i got the fuck i got my sketch today this morning i'm fucked how's your sketch fuck i'm fucked forever it doesn't fucking end any room for a daytime pool party even like there's gonna be a couple daytime pool parties My months fly I'm fucked We'll do a daytime pool party That is fun Can I bring the butter dog Yes the butter dog had a nice day here I got 9,000 pictures Of my girlfriend and the butter dog How was your dog doing? The dog with the butter.
He's the man.

He's perfect.

Is he a swimmer at all?

He's never gotten into water.

That's good.

That would suck if he could swim better than you.

Sure he can.

Like if he gave it a shot.

I'm sure he can.

That'd be crazy if he swam exactly like you.

He absolutely does.

It sucks.

Guaranteed.

That's how he swims.

His ass. His giant ass.
I've never seen anythinganteed. That's how he swims.
His ass.

His giant ass.

I've never seen anything like that.

Head and feet totally underwater, just an ass floating.

You're like an octopus.

Everything's down.

You just.

Nate LeMere, will you guys shoot me straight on my idea of the black swim club?

I see you guys are so resistant.

I don't want to be the black guy that does it.

You said you don't.

Yeah. I figured that was the hang up.
We were getting good was teaching him how to swim My problem is Dude you guys are running a podcast Nate swimming is the funniest There's actually a swim instructor In Austin called the swim Nazi We get a private lesson from the swim Nazi They call themselves the swim Nazi They're called the swim Nazi but she just rolls with it So she's like I'm the swim Nazi and We get a private lesson from the swim Nazi. They call themselves the swim Nazi? They're called the swim Nazi,

but she just rolls with it.

So she's like,

I'm the swim Nazi

and she's an excellent

swim instructor.

She'll scream at you.

She told my kid,

dude, my fucking five-year-old

can swim, like swim for real

from the Nazi.

She got Nazi training.

She got swim Nazi training.

I had LaMare out here

all the time. LaMare's good.
Like three days a week we were in there, and I was trying to teach him how to swim. There's nothing he could do.
You were training your Pokemon. I literally was.
Bro, I was holding him. I was like, all right, dude, this is going to be weird.
I'm going to hold you. He's a fucking kick.
LaMare's good in the pool, man. He's not at all.
He's horrendous in the pool. Me and Matt were in Dania at the pool.
He was in the ocean. I was letting it go.
You were in the ocean? We were. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, we were in the ocean. I didn't tell you about that? Yeah, you did.
There's no way he could be past... Yeah, it was sandbar.
It was shallow stuff. Yeah, he literally cannot swim.
I've seen him in the pool. I've seen him...
That's a three-foot pool. That's true.
If he takes his feet off the ground, he cannot swim. Oh no, the bear.
Yeah, he fully can't swim. Oh, I've seen him go in and glide a little bit.
He can do that for about a second. And even then, he forgets that he can just stand up.
So there'll be a moment of like, you see him panic underwater. He goes, just fucking stand up.
True. You don't think the black swim club will be empowering? I don't know.
People won't be laughing. They'll be like, this is good.
People are not going to be laughing. We might film it and put it on the Patreon.
But strictly to help other black listeners. Learn how to swim.
Yeah, like just to conquer the stigma and the stereotype. Just instructional.
Yeah. I'm down.
I'm trying to move on to the butterfly. You need to learn how to just regular swim.
I can do this pretty good. We can get in the pool.
The pool's heated right now. We can get in there.
I can do this good. I can get up and down.
I've seen you. I remember going over.
Hey, Lamer, he's been practicing. Nate, you got to get Nate to just trademark that stroke.
Nate's better than Lamer at swimming. I can swim a little bit.
It's just my ass. Your ass rises.
That's the funniest part. I think it's just my pot.
Yeah, you go to the other end for sure. I've seen you in action.
It's just the ass coming up. I don't know how.
It's not even a bathing suit bubble. It's just your ass.
It is just your ass. Breaches the surface.
Now that you've developed a full unk body, your ass has flattened out a little. It still comes out, though.
I don't know what it is. The buoyancy.
It could be good for you. Sure, it's like the North and South Pole as the belly grows, the ass shrinks.

It does.

It is electromagnetic.

It's the EMFs.

You're just being pulled forward.

I haven't been driving a hybrid.

That might be actually the EMF.

You've been driving a hybrid?

Yeah, the EMFs might be killing the test.

Careful, dude.

I saw these guys on Instagram saying you're probably only reducing 9% though from the hybrid. Yeah, probably.
That's good. What's going on with you guys? Nothing, dude.
Just got to go to the UK this week. I know.
And I'm bringing O'Connor and DeRosa. I'm bringing two of the hardiest alcoholics I know.
Yeah, you're bringing some heavy artillery. Yeah, it's going to be really fucking fun.
Oh, my God. It's going to be the most fun.
Those old pubs. I've never been to London, but the old pubs are very sick.
It's the coolest thing ever. Yeah, I did like that in Australia, being in an ancient pub.
It's like something about it. Dublin.
I love Dublin. I know.
Manchester fucking rules. I bet.
Yeah, once my family gets old, once the kids get older, I do want to go bring them all to Europe and go over there. I'd be sick.
That'd be awesome. I've never been to Italy.
I'd love to go to Italy. Yeah.
I'd like to go to Rome. Yeah, you should.
Fuck, I forgot I don't have any time. Oh, I know.
I was looking for a beach trip last night. I was like, when do you think we can do this? And they were like, never.
And then I realized I'm kind of going week to week with my schedule.

And they showed you a fucking secret.

And I was like, can I get a full blackmail home video?

And they're like, never, motherfucker.

Yeah, now you got a free schedule.

You did Black Swim Club and put it on the internet.

The schedule's wide open until 2028.

But you're empowering, dude. It is empowering.
I understand. Oh, yeah.
That's what you guys think with your stereotypes. Hit the water.
Hit the water, boys. Wait till you see these two swims.
Dude, if Obama's chef had done the Black Swim Club, he'd still be here to this day he's fucking alive uh the schedule though my agent manager i was texting them and i was like can i just get like a breakdown of like what the rest of the year is like because i literally check my own website to find out my dates yeah uh and they're like yeah sure i was like just kind of game plan this whole year and they were like haha game plan this whole year and i was like yeah your fucking job yeah what the fuck it's your job to do that yeah and they're like oh okay you're serious and i was like yeah fucking tell me where i'm going um on like a calendar kind of thing just like an email breakdown of like month by month because there's holes in the schedule for touring but it's to film shit yeah yeah so then i'm like what's this break maybe i can go to florida with my friends that week i think i know they gotta be holding for something shit fuck shit go to fake rehab fuck fake fake rehab I told you I've been dreaming

I've been dreaming about rehab for two years now

it's gonna be sick it's gonna be sick it's gonna be so nice especially if you go to one of those super nice ones especially I'm just going to chill I'm not gonna stop for sure I'm just going right back out I'm gonna get fucking wrecked as soon as I get out they should have that where it's just like a kind of a pit crew more so that's what I yeah that's the dream I was dream. I was like, I just want to go to a resort.
It'd be nice if there, if it was like a dry resort and maybe like a healthy thing. Just imagine rehab.
We just rehab. I just daydreamed to rehab.
It's got to be sick. I mean, light beer rehab is the saddest.
That's literally weed. That's CBD rehab.
Light beer rehab is CBD rehab. You get caught in your room with a party helmet and straws.
Dude. Yeah, they lift up a cushion.
It's my party helmet. No.
It's my party helmet. Dude, it'd just be me.
They find koozies on you and syringes. It'd be me and dads.
It'd be me and a bunch of 60-year-old men. And then they're like, oh, fuck's on every dude in there going this is fucking light beer heaven he's doing the most inflexible yoga ever yeah no that's good though being a guy that can stretch is fucking gay i saw my dad do a split i'd be like what the fuck check out this flexibility kids you go ew yeah i always any time baseball and drink a beer you weirdo anytime i've been told i've been inflexible i've been like yes i'm like you're real tight there i'm like yeah of course i am like no that's like really bad you gotta work on that i'm like yeah yeah who gives a fuck it's so my yeah my hips are so bad i've got to work on that.
I'm like, yeah. Yeah.
Who gives a fuck? So my, yeah, my hips are so bad.

I mean, it's my shoulder flexibility.

Back's been nice.

That's nice.

Shoulders, shoulder flexibility.

Straight as hell.

That is straight.

Hips.

You ever hear when they're like, you actually keep a lot of pent up emotions in your hips.

Yes.

Yeah, dude.

Let's keep them in there.

Let's fucking keep them.

The last thing I want to, the last thing I want to be is emotional.

Especially from your hips.

That would suck.

If you unleash something from your hips, you're like, oh, no. That really did hurt my feelings.
I remember that party. Yeah, girls got to stop stretching.
How about that? Yeah. Oh, we fucking tighten their fucking hips and butts up.
Too flexible. That's a problem.
They need to keep some of that shit in their fucking glutes and their IT it bands yeah it's time to store that back in there tighten them up that'd be weird though having like an inflexible lady like we kind of lady went to lift her leg and was like yeah jesus christ yeah that would be fucking sad that'd be disgusting that'd be disgusting neither of us can can flex. We're just trying.

We're going to do standing sex.

Hold on.

Let me get on top.

Why don't I always go to be on the bottom?

I might have to start dressing up to see how it feels.

Maybe I'm them.

True.

Maybe they completely and I am them,

so I need to dress like them and get fucked by a guy that looks like me.

Just to see how it feels.

White Lotus needs to stop. White Lotus is the best show.
It needs to stop it's so good it's it's doing too much do you think girls girls probably don't like it if you're like wearing their clothes oh oh yeah if you sort of put on their clothes they'd love to have that on you but i don't think like would they like that would that excite would that excite i think they pretend to but we mentally checked out with you yeah they would go jesus fucking christ now i'm gonna yeah let phone and look through all your friends like all right which one am i gonna switch to although didn't like a i guess he was just doing it as like a party trick that one boxer yeah de la jolla de la jolla did it he tossed on the fishnets i thought he i thought i think that was the real deal yeah it was a real deal i think it was the real deal could be like a liquor and cocaine thing. I think it was a liquor and cocaine thing, but also.
Didn't he have like professional pictures? No, it was definitely a hooker in a hotel room. Oh, okay, okay.
He just wanted the pictures. Fishnets, boxing.
Yeah, that was tough. You've done fishnets.
No, don't put that on me. Don't put that on me.
AI people, Nate and Fish.

Oh, my God.

French maid outfit wouldn't be bad either.

I think he might have hit one of those as well.

Did he?

Yeah, I think Taylor Hoy was hitting the.

I thought you were saying. Is that LeBron one real?

There's always LeBron in a French maid outfit.

I think he did for like Halloween.

He did for Halloween?

I think he did it for Halloween. Let me see.

Oh my god. What?

For real?

LeBron John.

Switching gears, have you seen that Michelle Obama

has a new podcast?

Does he? Yeah.

Switching gears. It's with her brother.

I thought it was Craig Robinson.

Switching gears. What with her brother I thought it was Craig Robinson Switching gears What's their pot about? Dude I don't know The left is scrambling To dominate the podcast space And they threw Michelle Obama And her brother at it Huh? It doesn't get as many views As you think I think about Michelle Obama Damn Getting home And Cause she knows that people say she's a man all the time.
You think she ever gets really sad about it? Sorry about that. That'd be so hurtful.
But his name is Craig Robinson. I know.
That's what I'm saying. I thought it was her and the comedian.
No, it's her and her brother. I thought you were saying he just looked like him.
No, it's her and her brother, Craig Robinson. With Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson.
It's her brother. It's her brother.
I thought it was the guy who plays piano. Who looks identical, bro.
What the fuck? I know. That could be the original Michelle.
And that's big. Mike feels bad at the trying to get the bag for him.
I don't mean to start that rumor. I know.
Oh, trust me, brother. I'm sure it's already been the worst thing you could do.
That was the worst possible move.

But yeah, it's probably very hurtful.

Just thinking about her and just being like,

oh, Barack, they're saying I'm a man again on the internet.

Yeah, that'd be really sad.

Having a bad day because people are calling you a man.

Even if you drunk-striked all those people.

That's what I'm saying.

That's the least of it.

I was just thinking about that. That's kind of funny.
Yeah, that does. Candace is going on Macron still? Bro, she's still i'm saying that's the least of it but canis owens is still about that that's kind of funny yeah that does this is going on macron still bro she's still ripping on the macrons i haven't been keeping up with the she seems confident i watched her on theo's podcast and she is like i mean prove me wrong dude yeah it's like i have all the paperwork filled for all like the basically being like i she sent the macrons a yes or no i mean which i get she's like they didn't even fill it out it's like well i could see them being like yeah i'm not gonna fill out the am i a man questionnaire from the candace i would just passed forward from a kid he's sitting behind him in class just like this are you a guy check yes or no it's like drawn up but it's like a legally binding like yes or no questionnaire like yo just answer these questions and we'll fucking drop it.
Because I think they were trying to sue being like, yo, stop calling my fucking wife a man. She's like, but in order for defamation, I think in Europe, the defamation laws are a little different.
We're like, yeah, you have to be wrong. In America, it's flip.
It's like vice versa. It's like, well, prove me wrong then and I'll take it back.
That's right. So she's getting hit with some French.
I read that from a Holocaust denying show I watched. Really? Yeah.
It was made – it was like a – it's not like I found it. I know you found it.
Yeah, I think it was on HBO or something. Yeah, and they were like this.
You know what I mean? This wasn't one of the – I got you. Yeah.
It wasn't the Kyrie Irving type. It was just like straight – this was legit.
Yeah, it was that case, though. It was like the...
It's flip-flopped over there where here it's like prove me wrong. Yeah.
There it's like you have to prove you were right. So then they brought a fucking Holocaust denier and put him on trial.
And he was like, boom. Oh, no.
Here's all the facts. Oh, no.
But he did get debunked. He got debunked.
He got bunked. Yeah.

He got bulldogged.

He got bulldogged in the court of a European court of law.

In the European court of law with... Yeah.

Yeah, man.

I can stop there.

We had an hour.

Let's go to the Patreon.

Yo, guys.

I fucking love you guys.

Goodbye.

We love you.

Don't get my bandage in there.

It's a fucking bandage.