Ep 545 - Thunder Fish

Speaker 1 Wow, wow, Wes.

Speaker 1 Hey.

Speaker 1 No, I like it. It smells like cigarette.

Speaker 1 This one smells like cigs, too. Oh, it's fucking Gardini's car.
That's right.

Speaker 1 He's purifying the mics with tobacco. Like a Native American shaman, dude.
He's blowing tobacco smoke into them. I'm sorry.
I'll clean them. No, thank you.
I like the smell.

Speaker 1 It's actually kind of nice. This is the bit I was waiting for.
What's fucking paper strolls, dude?

Speaker 1 No more. We're done, dude.
No more.

Speaker 1 No more.

Speaker 1 We're going to go back and put all the plastic rings around the dolphins' necks on the trumps and be awesome.

Speaker 1 We're going to get this country. Did you hear what he said when he was signing it? What? He's like, and I think the sharks are going to be okay as they're eating everything in the ocean.

Speaker 1 He's like, all right. All right, man.

Speaker 1 Hilarious. That is sick to be like, sharks can bite anything.
He's like, sharks can bite anything. We're going to sign that.
What's next?

Speaker 1 I had LeMaire went in the ocean for the first time this weekend. We're in Dania Beach, Florida.
Yeah. He was going to be at the beach skank fest? He's never gone to the beach.
He was staying on the

Speaker 1 Florida Comedy Festival.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah, I think he was on the beach, but I don't think he was in the beach.

Speaker 1 But he didn't get in the water. He stays away from the water.
Exactly. Oh, yeah.
He literally can't swim. No,

Speaker 1 we went to the ocean this weekend. Dania Beach, by the way, their beach, a lot to be desired.

Speaker 1 A lot to be desired. I went there.
I'm like, LeMaire, they'll have shops everywhere. Like, we need to show up.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 that's a tough one. There was nothing.

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 I will say there were a lot of bubble-butted mommies on the beach. Yeah.
That was about it.

Speaker 1 There was big rocks in the ocean, so you would just stub your toe in the ocean. You're like, oh, fuck.

Speaker 1 That would scare me. Dude, if I even touch a rock, I'm high knees and out of the water.
Bro, I was telling Le Mayer, I was like, dude, just come in the ocean. You're fine, man.
He's like,

Speaker 1 there's like, there's like sharks. I'm like, there's no fucking sharks in here.
We were like, we went out pretty far, like into a sandbar.

Speaker 1 How did you get him out far? He literally, he cannot swim.

Speaker 1 It was waist high, and then it went up to like up to your knees. There's like a a really sick side.
It's really dangerous to bring him out there. Well, here's the thing.
I saw, there was a guy.

Speaker 1 I was telling LeMaire, I'm like, there was a dude who went like for real, like 60 yards out. And I was like, just, you don't want to be the furthest guy out.
That's the shark. That's the shark guy.

Speaker 1 You stay just halfway through. And then, uh, and we went out to the sandbar.
And after we got, we got done at the beach, we got an Uber back.

Speaker 1 And the guy was like, oh, Daniel Beach, you know, there's a lot of sharks out there. I was like, oh, fuck.
I looked it up. I was like, yep, great whites, dude.
They migrate down during this time.

Speaker 1 They come down and chill around there. And I was just telling him, I was like, I was like, oh, my bad, Lama.
Great whites are so spooky. Dude, I was like, La Maire, there's no shark.
I googled.

Speaker 1 I'm like, great white. You saw a video of a giant hammerhead.
What? It's like a different type of hammerhead. They're fucking massive.
Can hammerheads bite you?

Speaker 1 I feel like that's one type of shark you could kind of outmaneuver. That lame-ass fucking head.
I know, it is a very dumb head, but it's certainly that can bite you.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 1 You don't think you could just like grip its hammerhead and just like

Speaker 1 pause.

Speaker 1 That's true. My bet, my bad.

Speaker 1 Yo. Just double fist.

Speaker 1 Oh, man. This is good.
We did it today. If we did it yesterday, I would have been asleep.
Dude,

Speaker 1 I was sleepy too, man. Insane weekend.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I bet, dude. It was probably a party.
Was it like, I'm sure the day before was party time? Yeah, Friday, Saturday. Dude, the one time I went with Bert two years ago, we got there on a Monday.

Speaker 1 We stayed for a week. Oh, you did? I remember that.
We did shows during the week. Yeah, you guys.
That was

Speaker 1 a week. You guys were there.
Weren't you guys staying in like a bop house the day before? We were staying at. We were staying in a full-on bop house with nothing but cameras.

Speaker 1 Just Bert and his team and cameras. And every day he'd be like, Shane, we're going to go do activities.
I'd be like, I'll fucking kill you. I'll fuck.
I'm not doing a fucking thing today.

Speaker 1 Leave me alone. I need to go home.

Speaker 1 This trip was,

Speaker 1 it was just the Okama Okama and Tommy down there partying it up. It's good to see the boys get loose.

Speaker 1 Dude, I'm telling you, the Super Bowl, the more, I never really thought about it until I went last year and I was like, dude, this is like the apex of worldly power. It is.

Speaker 1 And then I was watching it this, like, this time, just being like, dude, I was, it was like freaking me. Yeah.
It's sick. Trump and T.
Swift. Yeah, dude.
Fucking. Her getting booed.
I know. That was.

Speaker 1 I'll be honest. I was in the Eagles section for that.
That was a, That was a fun boo.

Speaker 1 That was a, she's wearing Chiefs gear. These are Eagles fans.
Yeah, because

Speaker 1 a lot of people are trying to say that. And I thought it was very funny while it was happening.
And then I saw like a quote from Travis Kelsey that was like, that sucked. I felt terrible.

Speaker 1 While I was on the sideline, everyone was just booing my girlfriend. And it was like, yeah, I guess that's really terrible.
That would be sad. Yeah, that's very sad.
I mean, yeah, especially like.

Speaker 1 Nah, come on, man. Guard dogs has no mercy.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I don't have any, I don't feel any empathy for Travis Kelsey.

Speaker 1 I mean, bro, I knew they were going to lose when I saw him dressed like fucking 70s porn star. I was like, he's not taking this game seriously at all.

Speaker 1 I think he's dressed like a 70s porn star every time. I could be wrong.
Is he? All right. I think he does that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What's up with the cool outfits, dude? What happened to sweatsuits? Every college fucking athlete just wears a gray sweatsuit all the time. Oh, that changed.

Speaker 1 They were a cool outfit. Sure, they got that cash.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they all got rich as fuck. I did forget they were all impoverished.
Impoverished gladiators. Okan man, I'm sure they're going to tell a story on Stuff Island, but it was

Speaker 1 so we did Bert's show on Saturday night, and that's when the Ocan man got in. And he got in.

Speaker 1 He was a little banged up. I think his flight got delayed.
I think he wanted to catch up on the way. I got you.
Yeah. And I think he went a little too far.
Mission accomplished.

Speaker 1 So he shows up, but I didn't know he was hammered. So we're sitting there, and then

Speaker 1 Tyreek Hill walks in, and he's standing right next to us.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 he has his people with him, but Chris was against the wall. Tyreek Hill's right here.
We're in the tunnel at the arena. And I just, I'm standing next to Chris along the wall.

Speaker 1 And Chris just reaches through Tyreek Hill's people and like grabs his arm. And they turn around like, what the fuck? And I was like, no, he's, he's my friend because I just met him.

Speaker 1 And I was like, he's good. He's my buddy.
And then they walk away. And I was like, Chris, what the fuck was that? And he was like, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 I'm so stupid.

Speaker 1 As soon as he did that, I was like, bro, you're fucking blacked out, dude.

Speaker 1 What the fuck are you doing? You know, you had a sleeper cell. He was a full sleeper cell.
I had no idea because I wasn't really talking to him. I was about to go on stage.

Speaker 1 And then I was like, dude, what the fuck are you doing? You don't just grab people's arms. He's like,

Speaker 1 fuck.

Speaker 1 Then I go on stage, and apparently,

Speaker 1 while I was on stage, Julian Edelman walks by and Chris goes, Can I give you a hug?

Speaker 1 And he was like,

Speaker 1 Why?

Speaker 1 And then walked away. And Chris was like, Oh, fuck.
So then he's coming back through the tunnel. It's crazy.
He took it to a why be like, State your reason. I mean, I get it.

Speaker 1 He doesn't even know the guy. I know, but some guy staying drunk in the tunnels.
Like, can I give you a hug, man?

Speaker 1 And then I realized I've hugged every single person that's ever asked for a fucking hug. I'd be like, Yeah, yeah, sure.
And it's funny that, like, he was kind of thinking about it.

Speaker 1 He's like, Well, why? Yeah, he's like, Why should I? Why would I hug you? And then he's, Edelman's coming back in the tunnel, and apparently Chris went for a super low five.

Speaker 1 He was walking by and Chris was like,

Speaker 1 and they said Edelman just was like, no, the fuck? And I was like, dude, of course he did that. I would have thought someone was

Speaker 1 just purely fucking with me.

Speaker 1 Like a low five?

Speaker 1 That's like, are you, I wouldn't have even thought he was giving me a high five. Also, the risk of pulling a low five away is high.
If I was walking by and somebody was like,

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 what are you doing what is this man

Speaker 1 anyway that was chris's big uh fucking sliding in a low five i i get wanting the hug

Speaker 1 is nuts and then i was like what the fuck you asked for a hug for and he was like it's julian edelman

Speaker 1 i love julian edelman oh he's a bit he's a new englander yeah but it's like

Speaker 1 yeah dude that's crazy low but going for the low five on the slide like look i get it you got to keep up appearances You can't be hugging me right now. Just give me a low five on the slide.

Speaker 1 Give me the lowest five.

Speaker 1 That was the Okan. And then he carried that shame all weekend.
And he was just constantly just.

Speaker 1 That's so funny. Yeah.
That was. Because, yeah, he's high awareness enough to really analyze that behavior later.

Speaker 1 And he probably did. It was a thorn in his side.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Okan man took that one very personally. I think he punched a wall later.
It was good. It was quality footage.

Speaker 1 Somebody just sent me a video of him like outside punching a gate. And I was like, oh, man.

Speaker 1 The Okan Man.

Speaker 1 I spooked Vince Vaughan that one time

Speaker 1 badly in Vegas last year. What'd you do? I was hammered last year in Vegas.
I kept doing the

Speaker 1 whatever that game was when they were like if the like if the beer's in your left hand, you have to chug it right off. Oh, yeah, yeah.
I kept getting caught with the beer. That was the bills.

Speaker 1 That was gay. I was passing the, yeah, I would just be like, you know, I was hitting a vape pan.
I'd be like, take it, you pussies. And I'd switch it to my right hand.

Speaker 1 They'd be like, ah, you got to drink your beers. And I was just chugging vodka and sodas.
I got hammered. And we were on that like never-ending party bus thing for a while.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I got off the party bus and I was like, what the fuck is that? Vince Vaughan? I was hammered. And I looked at him and I was like, Vince, you're our only hope.
Take us to the place.

Speaker 1 And I like turned around to Nate and he was just 45 feet ahead. I was like, oh, shit, my bad.

Speaker 1 You're our only hope, dude.

Speaker 1 Man, you have this. Just won't face like your only hope, bitch.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is. It is wild.
It's just so many celebs. True.
Celebs and you're hammered. And you're like, holy fuck, there he is.
I gotta go say it. It's time is my one chance, man.

Speaker 1 Smaron, will you save us? I didn't even, I just like saw him and reacted to like something that was bubbling like beneath my brain. It's like, dude, you're our only hope.
You're the chosen one.

Speaker 1 Take us to the promised land.

Speaker 1 No idea what I was talking about. Yeah, yeah i mean that's exactly what happened to the o'common he saw julian element was just like julian can i get a hug from you right now

Speaker 1 no no why why do you want a hug it is a very and especially for like the why to hit o'connor's brain have him like why would i ask

Speaker 1 just fully echo in his head i didn't consider the reasons

Speaker 1 that's awesome though so that you guys started off on just like a

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was absolutely fever pitch. I mean,

Speaker 1 I just, I didn't, he, it was a full sleeper cell. I had no idea.
He was among us. That is crazy to find out somebody did not know something.
What the fuck happened? He was like, my flight got delayed.

Speaker 1 I had a couple of whiskeys. I was like,

Speaker 1 well, it's a long night. It's fucking 7.30.

Speaker 1 That's how early it was. This is early.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No. Yeah.

Speaker 1 What happened?

Speaker 1 Where did his journeys take him that rest of that night? That is super early. Obviously, punching the fence or whatever he did.

Speaker 1 I don't know. He's good at Irish exiting.
He can hit a good Irish goodbye. Like, out of nowhere, you'll just be like, where's O'Connor? And somebody will be like, he got in a car.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 He just stumbled out. He'll also walk.

Speaker 1 He'll walk, too. He'll start running.
He'll hit a fucking long walk. He used to sprint.
I forgot about that.

Speaker 1 I wonder if he still does that. My favorite thing I've ever seen him do is when I had a party at my house years ago in Philly.

Speaker 1 And he just, we were all sitting on the roof deck and he was just wearing headphones. And everyone's like,

Speaker 1 what are you doing? He was like, just listen to me. He's listening to Bob Seeger

Speaker 1 every single time. He went on a Bob Seeger phase for like three years where he would listen to like a rock.
He would get hammered and listen to

Speaker 1 just

Speaker 1 songs so good. Yeah, I could see at a party, though, kind of just like doing some personal night moves would be decent.
Just be like, I'm just charging myself back up for the vibe.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's pretty sick. Damn, dude, that wasn't.
So that's night one. Night one.
Yeah. And then

Speaker 1 that night after Bird's show, me and Zach Bryan did a show at a bar, which was very funny because Zach was like, all right, I'll go first, then you go on do some stand-up and i was like bro that would be the worst yeah possible show yeah me first of all time you can't comedy cannot follow music ever never and he was like all right man he's like it's up to you whatever he's like that's fine that'll work so we go in it's just a packed college like just young kids packed standing room only the stage is like a rug on the floor there's no stage and it was it was like

Speaker 1 i went on

Speaker 1 fair to midland Yeah. Fair to very fair to Midland.
I was excited to be like, that's it for me, Zach Ryan. Everybody,

Speaker 1 and then he murdered.

Speaker 1 And while he was killing, I was like, this is crazy. It's more.
You thought I was going to follow that with like a jacking off story? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's impossible. At the end, it was a small bar.
And then in the backyard, there was like a construction area, like in a muddy alley, which is where we went after just hung out back there.

Speaker 1 But from the exit of the bar to the back alley, there was like a pretty big drop into this construction area. And I literally got to the door.
There were people behind me, and I was like, watch out.

Speaker 1 There's a very big drop here. And I just stepped out and rolled my ankle.

Speaker 1 I literally looked at what was going to happen. I was like, watch out, guys.
You could get hurt on this.

Speaker 1 Thank God I didn't fall down. I was so close to fall.
I really fucked my ankle up on that. Yeah, dude.
How deep? What were you talking, like 12 inches?

Speaker 1 Yeah, there were just trenches everywhere back there. Oh, you guys were in Atlanta? No, in New Orleans.
New Orleans.

Speaker 1 I kept thinking Super Bowl is in Atlanta. I'm sorry.
We were there for the national championship. That's what it was.
Maybe, yeah. Gotcha.
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Speaker 1 So you're in New Orleans. Down in Nola.
I love New Orleans. Did it bounce back? What's that? They've had a lot of.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They bounced back.
Dude, that was freaking me out, too.

Speaker 1 The day I wasn't even, I was talking about Katrina, but then they had another track. I thought you were talking about.
As soon as I said that, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm thinking.

Speaker 1 Because I went there post-Katrina a long time ago, and it was like fucked. So I'm sure they've got a lot of fun.
That's a juvenile song. Bounce back.

Speaker 1 Bounce back. I'm about to bounce back.
I think. Trust me.
Is it a juvenile song, or are you thinking of 504 boys and wobble wobbles? I don't know.

Speaker 1 You might be getting a bounce confused confused with a wobble. No, it's a juvie classic, bounce back.
It could be. Was it post? Was it post-Katrina or big kid? There's a big shot.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's a bounce back, juvenile. Sick.

Speaker 1 Nice. Thank God I got that.
Yes.

Speaker 1 We have a visitor. That's a weird knock.

Speaker 1 It's kind of a friendly knock.

Speaker 1 Um.

Speaker 1 Who's that rapping? Yeah, we should probably. Who's rapping upon my door?

Speaker 1 Be careful, Sean.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's Texas Gas Service.

Speaker 1 See how Guard Dog handles this.

Speaker 1 You're getting checked on for heavy gas consumption.

Speaker 1 You've been using True.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Hey, we're back. Just a minor gas leak in my house.

Speaker 1 No big deal. Nothing new.
No big deal. I'm going to try to find the gas leak in Sylvia Plath myself just

Speaker 1 i'll go find that thing and

Speaker 1 call it that

Speaker 1 actually dude i got a uh it was really nice the

Speaker 1 dania beach improv gave me a uh like a gift certificate to a used bookstore as like a gift that's nice it was really nice so i went i finally went and was like i gotta get an uber from the hotel and i'm like where because that area was broward county is where they film cops yeah So I was like driving around through there.

Speaker 1 And dude, it's like, it's kind of sketchy around there. Yeah.
Like very sketchy.

Speaker 1 I was like, whatever.

Speaker 1 so i'm in an uber and i'm like anytime you left the little we were at a hub obviously that's all it is outdoor hubs improv hub left the hub and it's just like vice city all around so i pull the driver i'm like yeah there's like a bookstore up here somewhere dude it was a shopping center of just at least one if not two massage parlors So I'm pulling in.

Speaker 1 The guy's like,

Speaker 1 a gift card for books. Dude, he's like, you said there's a bookstore, right? And I was like, I did that, dude.
I swear to God, there's a bookstore.

Speaker 1 I thought he thought I was like... adult bookstore.
I'm going to give you guys some books. I'm about to read for the next, I'm going to read for 15 minutes and then I'm going to just wait here.

Speaker 1 So I'll sit there

Speaker 1 wet from a shower.

Speaker 1 My hair's fucking bookstore out of a shower. You wouldn't believe it.

Speaker 1 I told you, my one friend, and absolute, the most depraved move was with visiting with a girlfriend, hanging with the family, ducked off, hit the fucking wash, reunited back with the family, wet hair and all.

Speaker 1 And was like, what's up, guys?

Speaker 1 The craziest fucking move.

Speaker 1 But yeah, I'm like, pulling up. He already struck.
He was just sitting there with his family, and he was like.

Speaker 1 He was with her family. Yeah, just like, all right, I'm going to head out for a minute.
I got to. He got the itch.
He was like, ended up being late. It was like they were down there, like, visit.

Speaker 1 She was just jacked off in the car. Bro.
Which would have been crazy.

Speaker 1 That would have been psychotic. That's, I mean, dude, hitting, being like, yo, if you guys will excuse me,

Speaker 1 with your own family, it's like, okay, it's still nuts.

Speaker 1 But with like someone else's family that is a wild i mean i know you know all all respect goes to the fucking move it's a sick move powerful breakout like our family's gonna stress me out i'm gonna go get jacked off by a sex slave all right and i'm back and fully bathed in like wet hair showers just coming back and laughing at what they're laughing at

Speaker 1 Smelling totally different.

Speaker 1 You just reek of dollar store legs. You're drenched.
Yeah, you feel drenched. Drenched and just fucking totally relieved.
Yo, I hugged hugged a guy this weekend that was drenched. Did you really?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Why was he drenched? I don't know.
Oh, because it was raining.

Speaker 1 It was raining at the Super Bowl before we got in. The guy just came in from outside.
I was standing alive. He's like, Shane, I'm a big fan of you.
I was like, God damn, dude. You fucking soaked.

Speaker 1 Dude, that fucking Gatorade they dumped on the coach. I was spying that Gatorade and I'm like, dude, they got to give that guy a raise.

Speaker 1 Whoever's concocting that stuff, that was the bright yellow Gatorade. That shit's not watered down at all.
No.

Speaker 1 Oh, dude, this made me laugh.

Speaker 1 Okay, so first first things first the bookstore i pull up i was i was relieved at the very end of it there was a bookstore and i was like i told you there's a bookstore up here dude he's like yeah whatever man i go into the bookstore it was the worst layout i've ever seen where you know there's like in like like the hogwarts library or any old library there's like giant ladders and you like the books are stacked super high

Speaker 1 most of the books were like as high as your fucking ceiling And they were like, you can't get on the ladders. It's like, well, I don't know what's up there.
So how could I even ask?

Speaker 1 It was like, and then they were like going over these old, like antique maps so anytime i try to get to the other end they got there i'd be like uh excuse me guys and they would be like okay and then like move out of the way and i'm like bro what the fuck man trying to buy some books from your fucking store anyway it's pissing me off but the thing that made me laugh was i was i'm out there i forgot my belt this weekend every single i forgot my belt this weekend dude and i was telling the mayor i had a flashback to when you were in new york and you were just like you show me your closet and there was like 40 belts and i'm like damn you have so many belts you're like i got to get a new belt like every week because I forget them.

Speaker 1 And I remember I told the mayor, I confessed, I was like, bro, that was like the most jealous I've ever gotten. Being like, that's so fucking sick, dude.

Speaker 1 You have so just getting that many belts out of necessity. By the way, I don't even buy the belts.
I go to, well, sometimes when I'm on the road, I will have, I have to buy a belt. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I usually just go home and steal Phil's belts. Do you?

Speaker 1 Every time I'm home, I steal Phil's belts. And then I forget them.
I never take them on the road. So then I'm like, I need a belt.

Speaker 1 I was just laughing, being like, dude, that's so sick to have so many belts and then like the one time i had to buy a belt on the road i was like dude it's all happening bro i have a belt from traveling

Speaker 1 you made it i thought it was so sick i thought it was so sick it's nothing compared to my milwaukee fit bro

Speaker 1 when i lost when my luggage got lost i had to buy a whole new when i got the vans vans t-shirt

Speaker 1 i had to do that once i went to dicks and i bought like golf pants and like a t-shirt that was kind of sick But yeah, I didn't buy a belt.

Speaker 1 I was bending over on stage and I'm pretty sure like part of my ass crack came out at one point. I was like,

Speaker 1 apologies, ma'am.

Speaker 1 I need a belt on stage because I'm already doing like the fat shirt tug. Yeah.
You toss in adjusting pants

Speaker 1 on top of the fat shirt tug.

Speaker 1 That's a very active

Speaker 1 scene. You know what I mean? The guy's constantly.

Speaker 1 I was hands in pocket all weekend. I was very falling.
I was hands in pocket, classic. Classic late night.

Speaker 1 But I was really kind of just holding up my pants because they were fucking, they kept coming down on me. Because I've lost a couple pounds, bro.

Speaker 1 I'm out of the 180s. I'm 179.6.
That's good.

Speaker 1 It's pretty sick. I'm doing another fast, too.
I was

Speaker 1 five-day. Yes.
Monday through Friday. First 24 hours, dry fast, no water for 24 hours, no food or water 24 hours, and then four-day fat water fast with just salt.

Speaker 1 I'm going to petition for some electrolyte. I need an unflavored electrolyte mix because that gerry, if you don't eat for a while, you don't like you lose all your electrolytes.
There you go.

Speaker 1 There goes our hero, dude, the gas man. He's going to come around and knock in a second and say, Yeah, that thing's leaking like crazy.
I'm going to go. Oh, great.
Things leaking like a sieve.

Speaker 1 How do they test? They just hold like a fucking lighter up and see if it flames up. I have no idea.
I think you should be able to see it. Obviously, not that, but sprays.

Speaker 1 I think they spray some type of soapy mixture and they see where it's bubbling. If I had to guess, looks something like that.
Yeah, I mean, I've looked, I could have, you should have told me.

Speaker 1 I would have went out. I had no idea.
I would have found that.

Speaker 1 I mean, I actually knew all because I'll try to heat it and it barely heats. Yeah.
And that thing like backfires. You can hear it like a car.

Speaker 1 Dude, I'm telling you, man, what like builders get away with now? It's criminal.

Speaker 1 The place across from us in Philly, when we lived there,

Speaker 1 there were like luxury condominiums and the windows, dude, I'm not lying, separated from the wall that much.

Speaker 1 No exaggeration.

Speaker 1 It was ungodly. And they were like, yeah, they just won't return our calls.
They just throw them up. You just do it as cheap as you possibly can.
Just get the fuck out of there.

Speaker 1 What book did you get?

Speaker 1 Oh, boy. I ended up, I got, I had like four or five.
It was a, it was like a fucking $150 gift certificate. Nice.

Speaker 1 So I like got as many as I could possibly bring back without making my luggage too, too heavy. Yeah.
And then just gave like a $60 credit to an old lady. But

Speaker 1 I started fucking with Finnegan's Wake from James Joyce. It's totally indecipherable.
It's like, yeah, but I'm reading

Speaker 1 Joseph Campbell wrote, it's Finnegan's Wake Skeleton Key. So I've been in absolute fucking heaven.
You know, Joseph Campbell. No.

Speaker 1 A hero with a thousand faces. He was like one of the first dudes to get real into kind of like deciphering myths, kind of like how Peterson started.

Speaker 1 He was like, I mean, Carl Jung, obviously, is a goat with it, but

Speaker 1 Campbell came up and made like a really approachable kind of understanding to just like myths and all, you know, whatever.

Speaker 1 And he, he's like going through with his boy, reading Finnegan's Wake, and just being like, by the way, this is what he means by this. This is what he means by this.
I mean,

Speaker 1 I've just been absolutely just like dumbstruck by Joyce's genius, dude. It's amazing.
Nice. It's, dude, it's crazy.
It's just. Isn't that the only thing he has to declare? Wasn't that him? What?

Speaker 1 When he got to America, they're like, Do you have anything to declare? It was like, my genius. Probably.
I think so. It sounds like him.
He didn't have any money. He was fucked.

Speaker 1 He spent, dude, he wrote a book. He like, you know, obviously double inner short stories, classic.
Then he wrote Ulysses, and everyone's like, okay, we're fucking with you.

Speaker 1 This is kind of a hard read. We're fucking with you.
And then he spent, I think, like 20 years of his life, a third of his life on Finnegan's Wake. and no one can, it just, he makes up words.

Speaker 1 It's nonsense. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But you have to have like, it's one of those things where every other sentence is an allusion to like, it's almost like you have to have, like, have like a total understanding of like Greek mythology because it'll like make an allusion.

Speaker 1 Obviously, Campbell's fucking goat ass is like, oh, by the way. And he just expounds on it.
I've just been in absolute fucking heaven, dude. Really? He's like, and then the main character turns back.

Speaker 1 It sucks. Dude, it's no, it's so sick.
You got to read a book to read a book. You got to read it.
You got to read a book to understand that. I just read that book.
No, dude, it's so good.

Speaker 1 Dude, the whole, again, I have no understanding. I have a pitiful understanding of it, but it's like the book is about, Finnegan's Wake is about,

Speaker 1 I didn't know. It's about the guy who, he's like an eternal, it's based on like an Irish mythological figure who's like up on a ladder, falls, and dies, and he's coming back to life.

Speaker 1 That's like the kind of like ballad or whatever. But then they like tie that into like the death and resurrection Jesus myth with these four quadrants.

Speaker 1 You know how they have like the Cali Yuga kind of thing? No. Where it's like hard times to make, soft man, soft man, make blah, blah, blah.
There's a Western version of that where it's basically

Speaker 1 like primal stuff. There's like a theocracy, then a king, then they go to democracy.
And after every democracy, they rise to the top. And

Speaker 1 literally every

Speaker 1 civilization crumbles. Break time.
Time for the gas, man. Time out for the game.
Hold on, guys.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah, for the record, that was Oscar Wilde, not James Joyce.
That sounded like some Oscar Wilde bullshit, if I'm being honest. James Joyce.
I mean, actually, it's funny because that

Speaker 1 he kind of could not, he doesn't cover that specifically, but so in the book, it's like it's based on Finnegan's Wake, but also the main character is like the, I didn't know the city of Dublin is like shaped on a hill that's kind of like resembles an old giant.

Speaker 1 They say like a giant is sleeping in the ground that like

Speaker 1 his head's on one side of the city and his feet's on the other side. So he's writing a novel about

Speaker 1 that guy who's like a giant in the ground, but then he's gonna be really hard to explain, but he gives forth two sons that are kind of like the classic Kanan Abdul. He gives forth.
He gives forth.

Speaker 1 He gives forth two sons. Him and HCE and A.

Speaker 1 We talk about books. Dude, it's so sick.
But he has, there's like these two brother figures. So, like, the

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. I have a poor understanding, but basically, the guy is not, Finnegan's wake.
Finnegan's coming back to life, and they go, Finnegan, rest. We have a new father.

Speaker 1 And then it's this guy who's like apparently also a hill, but who's also a guy. She does something kind of perverted in a a park to these, to this young girl.

Speaker 1 He gets fucking, he gets me too, basically. What? Yeah, he gets me too.

Speaker 1 There's these fucking hot ladies, and it's all about how, like,

Speaker 1 man is always going to fall to the snizz. That's like the one theme.
Like, it's, it's going to happen. Man's going to fall to the snizz.

Speaker 1 And then, dudes, we're like getting propelled by these forces that are always going to make us fight each other. Every civilization is going to collapse.

Speaker 1 And he just kind of just like jumps in and out of like time. And it's really cool of like different warriors and these two brothers, Shem and Sean.
Shem is like, he's a deep writer type.

Speaker 1 No one will ever love him. Yeah.
But he's the only one connected to the truth. And there's Sean who's just like killing it and they're always fighting and killing each other.
It's fucking tight.

Speaker 1 But sorry.

Speaker 1 Again, I'm just going off Joseph Campbell's interpretation. I don't want to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't want to get confused with Joseph Campbell's interpretation.

Speaker 1 All you're interpretations.

Speaker 1 It's all you can do with Finnegan's Wake. There's nothing else.
There's all you can do.

Speaker 1 But I've been reading that at night and just been absolutely in heaven, just going back and forth between like, oh, that's what that means. Oh, fuck, dude, the thunderfish.

Speaker 1 I never even thought of the thunderfish. Of course.
It's fucking awesome. Of course, he means the thunderfish.

Speaker 1 What is the thunderfish doing?

Speaker 1 It's just like the food of eternal life. It's just like the Ixa something.
It's whatever. The Ixus.

Speaker 1 The Ixus, yeah, the Ixis, and then the word for like Latin word for thunder. But it is such a funny move to spend 30 years on a book, and everyone was like, dude, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 What are you doing, Sean?

Speaker 1 Sean, talking about the thunderfish. Talking about thunderfish, bro.
Pause. Nice.

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Speaker 1 You know, I was thinking when we were going through the lawyer thing? Yeah. Is that like what marriage feels like?

Speaker 1 They don't even, you don't even talk about that. That's just, that just happened.

Speaker 1 It was like, we've, you know, we've been friends for a while now. You know, let's make it legal.
True. We're legally bonded.

Speaker 1 I was a little like, oh, this is probably what marriage is like. If, well, if you broach the subject, obviously, if you're the ultimate romancer, you'll go, people don't even care about that stuff.

Speaker 1 But a lot more guys are starting to be like, look,

Speaker 1 let's fucking lay some fucking ground. Let's work on a bad faith lever here.
What you want to do is yours, mine, and ours. Let's talk about what's yours.
Let's talk about what's mine.

Speaker 1 Let's talk about what's ours. That's definitely one of the pre-notes.

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Speaker 1 Hello, everybody. I'll be in St.
Pete Peter. I'll be in Pete, Florida.

Speaker 1 Hello, everybody.

Speaker 2 I'll be in St. Pete's

Speaker 2 Florida tonight and tomorrow at Coastal Creative. Please come if you can.
SeanGardini.com. Thank you.

Speaker 1 Sean Gardini.com.

Speaker 1 Of course, brother. But yeah, so that's it.
I'm not going to bore you with Finnigans Wake, but that's the only thing I will say. It's been putting me, this is what I like about it.

Speaker 1 It's been putting me in a very timeless frame frame of mind. That's the best way to do it.
Outside of time.

Speaker 1 Tillix dimension of depth. Of course.
That's how I've been feeling. You're in Tillix's dimension of depth.
That's how that's how I've been feeling lately.

Speaker 1 So that's been a nice feeling to kind of leave me. I had a feeling.
Have you been caught whacking off lately? I know you've been timeless.

Speaker 1 I know you've just been an ageless wanderer, but have you been caught jacking off in a bathroom? I mean, dude, like HCE, yes, I was caught. Fucking, I was tempted by the sirens in my own mind.

Speaker 1 The thunderfish came and got you. I was tempted.
The butterfish caught you.

Speaker 1 We're both dealing with,

Speaker 1 but that was last weekend, bro. That was the mess.
I said, what are you doing in there?

Speaker 1 For real, man. That was so embarrassing.
She's like, what are you doing in there? And I'm just in the shower with a boner. Just, what? Nothing.
Nothing. She's like, I saw what you're doing.

Speaker 1 I was like, ah, damn it. Now I got caught lying and jerking off, huh? I'm just the biggest piece of shit in the world.

Speaker 1 I wish I could tell you I didn't almost get caught yesterday.

Speaker 1 I wish I could tell you I almost didn't get caught.

Speaker 1 I had to scamper. Did you really?

Speaker 1 But she didn't hear the scamper. I survived.
Oh, you got the shit. I scampered to the lab.
I heard the door open, scampered.

Speaker 1 So you got the extra yesterday. After I got the ski daddle, I heard the door open and I ski daddled on back to the lavatory.
Bro, that's not like we've been training for that our whole fucking life.

Speaker 1 But it was, I haven't had to ski daddle in so long.

Speaker 1 I fucking made it to the bathroom. I was like, what?

Speaker 1 Take a shit. What? I'm just taking shit.
So

Speaker 1 you didn't get the. No, I didn't get the full release.

Speaker 1 Damn, you probably charged it up. And I was like, she's taking a nap.
I got, I'm fucking set. Oh, yeah.
Of course.

Speaker 1 The second we started. Brother, welcome to my world.

Speaker 1 Thunderfish.

Speaker 1 Thunderfish flopped in the room and I had to ski on daddle down to the left

Speaker 1 with my pants at my knees. Ski daddle down.

Speaker 1 Expert shuffle.

Speaker 1 The The potato, the sack race to the bathroom.

Speaker 1 What, Cook? I think you scared me.

Speaker 1 Why do I have my phone in my shower? I was answering an email.

Speaker 1 Phone in the shower is the most sinister delight, but also so fucking. It's just too risky.
Phone in the shower is so risky. Unless you got a big shampoo bottle, you can fucking pop in front of it.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 yeah, man,

Speaker 1 I don't bring my phone to the shower. I used to, there was a period where I was a big phone and shower guy, and it's just like, I think it's literally taken a couple years off my life, the anxiety.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I'm just having just the lowest volume, just going, oh, fuck.
Oh, oh, shit, what the fuck is that?

Speaker 1 Just phone soaking wet on the fucking sink outside the shower.

Speaker 1 The garage door at my parents' house. That was a, that was a godsend.
That's what you need, man. We need to bring back garage doors.
Get this rigged up with an alarm, dude. Yeah.
B, B, B.

Speaker 1 No, I got it. I got it.
Yeah. Do you have the ring? We got a ring camera now.
Oh, perfect. There you go.
Let's see who's coming and going. There you go.
Yep.

Speaker 1 Why don't you say it? Yeah, man, get in here. Say it into the microphone, bud.
You got caught fabbing recently?

Speaker 2 Not recently, but you know how every college dorm is like, yeah, they got the drains are all clogged because all the kids are. Have you ever heard that old tale?

Speaker 1 No, but it makes perfect sense.

Speaker 2 My dorm showers, drains, everyone always has that story.

Speaker 1 It's reviews. You're fucking hairy ass.

Speaker 1 Well, they say it's because of the cum.

Speaker 2 They say it's good.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the cum always endures.

Speaker 2 Shower drains always clog with common ass hair.

Speaker 2 And I was contributing to that clog in my university, my freshman year.

Speaker 1 In the common shower area?

Speaker 2 In the common shower area. That's where I would have to hurt myself because I had two roommates in my dormitory.

Speaker 1 I don't think I caught a beat in the shower.

Speaker 1 I really don't know. It's really bad.

Speaker 2 It's like a hospital shower, too. You know, there's like the shitty curtains, and it's just, you know, like a closet.
So it's a sad beat in there. And

Speaker 2 my classmates

Speaker 1 hollered at me while I was hurting myself in the college showers.

Speaker 1 What do you do to them?

Speaker 1 I think we caught someone one time where we used to, like, while people were showering, we would fuck with them in my freshman dorm, and we like one time yanked the curtain open, and he was just standing there with a full-on rager.

Speaker 1 We're like, oh,

Speaker 1 that's what would happen to me if they were to, if they were to breach it.

Speaker 2 That would have happened to me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't. I mean, I've tried to come up with a million arguments for why I'm having a boner in the shower, and there's no, it's just you're busting.
Warm water felt good.

Speaker 1 Leave me alone. I was so reluctant.
There's also, there's a like a kind of like a noise pattern. If you're beating off in the shower, the water falls in a very specific way.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You got to try to like at least turn your back.

Speaker 1 You got to turn your back to it. But then you're like, well, I want the warmth.
Yeah. So I can simulate Fallatio.

Speaker 1 So it's tricky. You got to watch it because it's like

Speaker 1 the water falls in like little torrential drops. But yeah, you know, all our brothers, dude, stay strong out there, dude.

Speaker 1 Keep it underground.

Speaker 1 Keep it underground, dude. It's the revolution, dude.
It will not be televised.

Speaker 1 Occasionally, it almost gets televised. You have to scamper.

Speaker 1 I told you, I spun the last time I got caught into some SEX, though. Yes.
I just fully owned it and was like, bro, I'm getting erotic in here. Excuse me.
I'm all worked up, man. Help me out.

Speaker 1 Help a brother out here.

Speaker 1 Help a brother out here.

Speaker 1 I should have done the Uncle Sam yell. What are you doing in there?

Speaker 1 Don't do it in in there, young man. You must be out your damn mind.
Your wife will be awake any minute. You love the Super Bowl performance.
I thought it was underwhelming. I really did.
Yeah, it was.

Speaker 1 I had, you know, did I kind of want to see it go poorly? I think there was part of me genuinely that, you know, I was hating. I was hating.

Speaker 1 Not as much as they were hating. They were hating hard.
That was the most hate possible possible.

Speaker 1 That was fucking hate. It was the most hate possible.
It was some really... See, I didn't understand all the symbology under it, dude.

Speaker 1 It was so deep. I didn't know whose X's were there.
The X's were there because it was like a PlayStation, and this is a game. Oh, shit.
Did you ever think about that? Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Bro, his chain was an A minor. I was trying to figure out.
I thought it was his middle initial.

Speaker 1 A minor. Oh, also, actually, kind of, technically, it was a lowercase A.
A minor is...

Speaker 1 There's like an actual notation for A minor. You can do that.
Oh, really? Yeah.

Speaker 1 I thought the lowercase A would be the A minor. No, there'd be A tiny little M.
That's technically A minor. That's just a lowercase A.
That's just a little A.

Speaker 1 But maybe that's even deeper. There's probably some shit I'm not even seeing.

Speaker 1 I don't know anything about keys at all. Yeah, or like secret fucking

Speaker 1 pedophile hieroglyphs.

Speaker 1 A minor doesn't. Maybe I got that symbology wrong.
You could be right, though, man. I mean, why else would there be a tiny little A?

Speaker 1 You know, it checks out. It makes sense to me.
But yeah, I thought that, I don't know. You know what? I was just...
It lacked kind of the showmanship.

Speaker 1 I was like, dude, Ursher last year, say what you want about Ursher. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Look, the guy's got skeletons. I don't know what happened.
I know he got in some legal hot water.

Speaker 1 Hopefully it's not true about potentially giving a man herpes, which, you know, I hope he didn't do that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But his performance was great, you know? Yeah, of course. Ursher's performance was crazy.
That was just like,

Speaker 1 okay. I don't know.

Speaker 1 It seemed all built around smiting another man, and it it was just kind of like, bro, like, it's cool. You know, winning is great.
I'm glad you won, but I don't know, man.

Speaker 1 It wasn't for me.

Speaker 1 For sure. I mean, yeah, you got to, you want to play your hits

Speaker 1 and not.

Speaker 1 I don't know, because one of the knocks on him is the only time he gets attention is when he's talking about Drake. As of late, for sure.
And there it is again.

Speaker 1 He did it again. Yeah.
He got the most attention of his career because. But here's what you got to think about.
This is what you got to think about.

Speaker 1 And I do appreciate Jim Jones for opening my eyes and thinking like this. Was he, but like, what about the bag? What kind of bag was he getting? Because they were coming at Drake for the Super Bowl?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he got this. It was free.
What? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You perform for free? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Was $0.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? Yeah. Just, I guess it's like good publicity.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Who pays for all those fucking million dancers? I mean, I'm sure they cover that. You don't pay for that, but.
Okay. That'd be crazy, bro.

Speaker 1 If I was to foot the bill, and I'd be like, yeah, let me surround myself with 800. Oh, no, why am I doing the fact-checking? Come on, man.

Speaker 1 So, if I had to fit the bill for 800 male dancers, that's crazy. He had a lot of bros.
It was just the bros, dude. That was another thing.
A lot of guys dancing.

Speaker 1 I'm going to need 800 male dancers. I like tough dancing.
Me too. I like when people are mad dancing.
I got a little scared. I was like, I was spooked out.
I'm scared of that.

Speaker 1 I was very scared during the performance.

Speaker 1 It's classic. That was Philip Ross one book.
He got it. The old professor does that accidentally.
He's like saying a ghost.

Speaker 1 He's like, I feel like there's a spook in here. And the students are like, hey, and they fire him off the campus.
But the professor is secretly half black, and he's been hiding it his whole life.

Speaker 1 We could talk lit, dude, all you want. I would love to talk lit.
But yeah, dude, that was

Speaker 1 kind of boring. It was just like, all right, this is,

Speaker 1 you know, it did take him to new heights. Him like besting Drake in a, you know, an exchange of words.
Did take him to new heights, but it's like. What's going on, Sean?

Speaker 1 Did you find out the information?

Speaker 2 He got a bag, but he got a baby bag. He gets the standard union rate, which is $1,000 per day for rehearsal and performance.

Speaker 1 A baby bag. He got a baby bag.
He got a little bag.

Speaker 1 He got a fanny pack.

Speaker 1 Well, dude, Jim Jones might have had the best take on the Drake lawsuit. And his whole thing is so funny, him and Cameron beefing.

Speaker 1 But he went on a podcast with, I swear to God, it was the best take of the Drake lawsuit stuff, how he's suing like UMG or whatever. United, yeah.
Yeah, you know, yeah.

Speaker 1 Universal Universal yeah that's what it is Universal Music Group and uh this guy was like yeah dude it's like against the code though like he's going against the code of hip-hop and Jim Jones was like dude Drake's going after a bag you cannot comprehend

Speaker 1 basically you know

Speaker 1 he was basically saying that he's going after the

Speaker 1 you know and it's it is slightly kanye ski he's going after the dudes who have given us all these raw deals the labels who have been lording over us the culture and he's going at like the eye of the fucking hornet's nest and getting, he was like, I mean, he's probably going to get a billion dollars in this lawsuit.

Speaker 1 It's like, no, he's not. He's going to get a lot.
You think he'll get it? I think he'll get a lot. Yeah, I mean, if from what I've been told, it's like they were trying to lower his stock

Speaker 1 so his next deal wasn't as big as the last couple have been. He's with them.
He's with Universal. That's their well, and their thing's like, why would we want to undermine that?

Speaker 1 I think the last deal was like 400 million. Yeah, true.
So, well, that's what Jim Jones is. It was the funniest take.
He's like, bro, he's going after a bag.

Speaker 1 And he's like, you can't say anything about Drake if you want to still hang with your bros in the hood who are like falling off of buses and getting lawsuits.

Speaker 1 He's like, all he's like, you can't say that. Drake's taking it to the next

Speaker 1 workman comps, bros.

Speaker 1 We got a couple of those, bros. That's what he was saying.
He was like, bro, there's nothing, there's nothing more gully than like pretending to hurt your neck on a bus.

Speaker 1 That was his whole, that, that was his whole thing.

Speaker 1 And like, Drake's hurting his neck on the the biggest bus imaginable and it's actually sick as fuck I was like dude Jim Jones that was absolutely I could be wrong, but I think Kendrick went through the Tupac estate to sue Drake first.

Speaker 1 Did he really? But no one cares. Wait, what Tupac Estate?

Speaker 1 Drake had like a diss track with like AI Tupac. Right.
And that got taken down because of a lawsuit. For sure.
Oh, he was like, you can't use the ghost of Tupac and beef.

Speaker 1 He's like, that's outside of the rules. So did it.
Kendrick did it. He did a lawsuit first.

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Hold on. So they were in court.

Speaker 1 There was like guys in court battling over Ghost Tupac. Yes.
And like, Ghost Tupac called my defendant. Ghost Tupac wouldn't have said that.

Speaker 1 Your Honor, Tupac might still be alive, actually.

Speaker 1 An all-black Jerry.

Speaker 1 But yeah, he basically broke down the thing of being like, stop trying to act like

Speaker 1 he's offending some code of the streets.

Speaker 1 He's like, bro, like, this is, he's getting the biggest bag and he was like your problem is you can't see the bag like the bag he was saying like the bag exists out of this guy's entire frame of

Speaker 1 dimension you can't

Speaker 1 he's not a near yeah to hit him with the met and be like bro your bags you can only imagine such a bag

Speaker 1 he's like drake is on a bag that you can't

Speaker 1 just getting deep on the bag is so sick can't fathom this

Speaker 1 but yeah that that was my whole that was my personal take on the super Bowl.

Speaker 1 It should have been Lil Wayne, and then also the whole craze of like the, you know, this, this whole like battle thing, I feel like it really, the sunset on it on that episode.

Speaker 1 It's almost been a year.

Speaker 1 Has it been

Speaker 1 fucking forever? It's been like eight months.

Speaker 1 That was a year ago when he sued him?

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. April, what, 2024? Just something a year ago.

Speaker 1 Damn. But that was,

Speaker 1 Yeah. So it probably started last April.
I was just hoping you'd say 420.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 But yeah, dude, that's been a fucking year.

Speaker 1 God damn. I felt like that was like three months ago.
No, this is

Speaker 1 this has lasted longer than the Will Smith slap. He needs to do it again.

Speaker 1 He's going back, I think. He needs to do a slap.
He needs to slap again. He needs to slap somebody.
He needs to slap that Indian guy.

Speaker 1 How could he slap? How could he slap? How could he slap?

Speaker 1 Yeah, man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, people were trying to make the Taylor Swift boo into this whole

Speaker 1 sea change of like the people are waking up, dude. They know they don't like this.
So you're telling me it was just a change. She was wearing Chiefs shit.
People were like, yeah, it was a Chiefs fan.

Speaker 1 It was all Eagles fans at the beginning of the game. Of course, everyone's going to be like, ah, fuck it, man.
Yeah, and there was also like she was,

Speaker 1 people were like, she's ruining football.

Speaker 1 Before she was on, they were literally showing a Chiefs fan, showing an Eagles fan. She was.

Speaker 1 Boo anytime it was a Chiefs fan. Was there that

Speaker 1 Eagles fan? So many Eagles people there? It felt like there was more Eagles fans. And there's one thing I noticed, the Chiefs fans are like all old,

Speaker 1 fat white guys. Yeah.
They're all just chubby white guys from fucking Kansas and Missouri. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is the third one in a row they've been to. Yeah, so they're like, they didn't like, they didn't,

Speaker 1 they didn't care as much. They didn't have the fire in their bellies.
Eagles fans are all fucking trash gremlins that were there. Needed it.
Yay, birds right.

Speaker 1 Like everyone was, yeah, everywhere you looked, it was Eagles fans. Well, that's also a weird pressure.

Speaker 1 If you've won two Super Bowls in a row, I'd be fucked up being like, because then it's like, there's no way you're not laxing and kind of like chilling.

Speaker 1 They were lamping. There's no doubt.
They lamps. Yeah, exactly.
They were lamping. Why, though? I mean, it makes sense.
You're two times.

Speaker 1 I mean, I guess they made it to the Super Bowl, so I guess they weren't relaxing too hard. It's pretty hard to do.
That's true. They just got there and couldn't protect the quarterback.

Speaker 1 Dude, you know they didn't blitz either. The Eagles four-man rush, bro.
Four-man rush. That blew my mind.
When I found out they didn't blitz, I was like, wait, what?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, the Chiefs also throw the ball every fucking down. Yeah.
So your defensive line knows they can pass rush every play.

Speaker 1 And then when you get, when they're down 17, it's like they're going to be throwing the ball. Yeah, fuck.
Just send,

Speaker 1 just send four. Is their offensive line that bad? I mean, I'm not trying to smite their offensive line, but like, bro, they got like

Speaker 1 killed. I don't know.
Because they're so good. That's the whole time.
I was like, dude, Mahomes is good. If you put him down, he's nasty as fuck.
But they were just like melting right through.

Speaker 1 It was wonderful. It was.
Truly.

Speaker 1 Truly a sight. Yeah.
Poor Reed, though.

Speaker 1 I went to the after party. Did you really? I got to hold the trophy.

Speaker 1 It was crazy. Did you raise it? No, I was just like,

Speaker 1 yeah, I didn't really take it in. I was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's harder than I thought it'd be.

Speaker 1 I felt like a real imposter. Why?

Speaker 1 I don't know. What the fuck am I doing holding those Super Bowl trophies? Everywhere I go, I feel like a fucking imposter.
And that was crazy. Yeah, that is fucking nuts.

Speaker 1 Holding it that i mean that is sick it was awesome

Speaker 1 that's fully the aggro crag dude you held the aggro craig

Speaker 1 what was it what i guess the party must have been sick though party was awesome champagne bottle did champagne bottles actually shoot in the air or was it that was i think that's the locker room but they probably did i i left

Speaker 1 before i think things got real crazy dude and that that coach where did he coach before the guy for the eagles Siriani, I think it was with the Colts. I think it was like an offensive quarter.

Speaker 1 And how long has he been there for with the Eagles? This is year three. Dude, two Super Bowl appearances, one win.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 They're going to have to stop talking shit. Yeah, dude.

Speaker 1 Reed.

Speaker 1 Yeah. He was an IUP guy.
He coached it in.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think there's like three guys on the staff that were from IUP. That's crazy.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Good for him, man. That's got to be crazy.
I liked watching when the Gatorade got poured on him, and you could tell he was like,

Speaker 1 he literally was soaking wet with Gatorade.

Speaker 1 At one point, he did like a little kind of prayer thing it was just like oh it's like bro that's all they want bro week fucking after the end last season ended in complete disaster they were 10 and one and then lost every game yeah and then this year they started out two and two with some bad fucking losses and people were starting to really get on him and be like we're gonna have to fire him so like for the next like four weeks maybe five

Speaker 1 Everyone was just waiting for him to lose one game and he would probably have been close.

Speaker 1 You get fired that fucking fast. Yeah.
I guess if you have, like, yeah, I guess there's a world of fucking coaches and you can just be like, all right, buddy, get out. Especially because he inherited

Speaker 1 a very good team and went straight to the Super Bowl his first year. And when coaches do that, they usually don't get credit for that.
I got you. That makes sense.
So he had had

Speaker 1 somewhat of a building year the year after that. And then the year after was like, all right, let's see what he does.
And they fucking exploded. They were terrible.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So then, yeah, he was on the hot seat a little. Then he.

Speaker 1 He's good. He's the bro.
Do you think there's a chance they're the new Chiefs that they'll go back and try to get it again?

Speaker 1 I do. Yeah.
I think there's a strong chance.

Speaker 1 They get a lot of guys back. That's what they say.

Speaker 1 They're not losing anybody, are they? They're going to lose some key defensive pieces. Okay.
But I hope maybe they won't lose them. They're just up for free agency.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Contracts, I think,

Speaker 1 should be all right. They might be the most hatable dynasty, though.
Philly becomes like a Chiefs era.

Speaker 1 It'd be the funniest dynasty of all. Oh, my God, dude.
It'd be the funniest. Philadelphia is going to look like fucking Aleppo.
Philadelphia is going to be bad, dude.

Speaker 1 They got to stop destroying this. I was jealous.
I was jealous.

Speaker 1 I mean, even being at the Super Bowl was obviously where you want to be, but

Speaker 1 Philly would have been fun. So fun to be there.
Although, dude, I'm telling you, last time when I was there, I was like right on Broad Street. My house was like two blocks away.

Speaker 1 It was too much, man. I'm like just watching people just start wrecking shit.
I was just like, this is fucking annoying. It was pissing me off.
They got to stop fucking breaking the city.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you got to. Dude, they were like flipping fucking cars.

Speaker 1 It's crazy.

Speaker 1 How else are you going to make an omelet? That's true. You have to break a couple eggs here.
That's true.

Speaker 1 Although, I mean, that is just part and parcel, man. Otherwise, yeah, you are just Chiefs fans, just like, well, we'll get them next year.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true. You got to bleed.
If you bleed green, you bleed green. It is what it is.
There's nothing we can do about it.

Speaker 1 Well, the worst part is now they're like, now it's like, it's something that gets attention online. So now people are like, yes,

Speaker 1 we got to ramp this up even more. I'm going to break a window.
It's like, dude, don't do it. I'm going to go viral committing a crime.

Speaker 1 It's going to be my face. I'm going to share it.

Speaker 1 But yeah, that was, you know, I think that was.

Speaker 1 I'll be excited to see what Kendrick Lamar does because he seems like he'll be pretty content to just kind of fade out and be like, I won. PG.
Yeah, he goes away for a a while. Yeah, I'd beat him.

Speaker 1 Most of the time. That's going to be it, man.

Speaker 1 It better not be. That's kind of a fucking lame ass.
No, that's beating the video game. I'm done.
Bye. Sorry.
I'm fucking on the ball. No, no one.
No rematch. That's it.
I called it no rematch.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know. That's kind of like if you want to be the best ever, if you're fucking

Speaker 1 if your one thing is beating a guy in a rap battle and then going, I'm done.

Speaker 1 To be fair, he did have, he did have like a lot of people liked him. I was always kind of like, I loved Kendrick Omar.
I was always like, meh, you know, I didn't, it just wasn't for me. He's so good.

Speaker 1 I mean, he's great, of course. He's a super successful, talented guy.
But it was just, I was always like, whatever. And then, uh, but then I didn't realize he'd been away for so long.

Speaker 1 And then I guess he came back. He was summoned back.
And then

Speaker 1 for him, that is sweet to be kind of chilling, like, I don't know. And then it's like, oh, yep.
Yeah. Top of the game.
But it all happened, dude. It was funny because, like,

Speaker 1 Lil Wayne was like, remember when he, him, and Nicki Minaj were like, they were like the biggest. And Drake.
And well, then Drake was like,

Speaker 1 launched out of that. But yeah, maybe there's room for, there's going to be the newest rappers to become the biggest.

Speaker 1 Dude, rap's so bad. Like, I'm not trying to sound like an old guy.
It's literally like, it's a minute and a half songs of just nonsense. I can't understand.

Speaker 1 I was watching videos of,

Speaker 1 I never got to see the halftime performance. Okay.

Speaker 1 I was making my way up to Trump Dog Suite. I was so sick.

Speaker 1 But I didn't get to see the performance. We just watched it right now.

Speaker 1 And I was like, I was only seeing videos online of like old guys that were watching the Super Bowl getting filmed by their grandkids. That were like, what the hell is he saying?

Speaker 1 I don't know what the hell is going on.

Speaker 1 I watched that thing. I was like, I haven't understood one word.
Yeah. And I know the songs.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 dude, I don't know. It wasn't.

Speaker 1 This is something I've been thinking about for a long time as, like,

Speaker 1 again, I don't even, it's like, sounds like a very uncomfortable thing to even talk about, but as like the country gets better in terms of race relations, will black guys lose cool points?

Speaker 1 And I think it could just be me trying to fulfill my own theory, but I think it's happening. That was like this theory for

Speaker 1 since the old test.

Speaker 1 This has been my working theory, and now I'm just sitting back and watching it play. It's your theory of relativity.
It is, dude. You can't be.

Speaker 1 And it's like, I'm watching it. I'm like, yeah, dude, it's losing.
Like, it's not, it's a,

Speaker 1 it's not like the stuff of like a charged counterculture. It's been.
It's a fever pitch. And then since then, it's been kind of like.
Yeah. We're still doing this? Yeah.
But. No,

Speaker 1 that was a sense I got off that. I'm like, oh, this is like, you know, like the revolution sponsored by Pepsi.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're kind of like, oh, this has been so fucking watered down and extorted by politicians that now it's just kind of like, all right. It just has literally zero effect.

Speaker 1 You watch it and you're like, oh, cool, man.

Speaker 1 So, and then, you know, again, we had our first taste of Indian guys while and out. It's like, there's more of that to come.
Yeah, it's almost Ramaswamy Anakin's hard, dude.

Speaker 1 He fell into the lot, but those boys are not. Yeah, yeah, there's more Ramaswamis, bro.
That guy, that dude was a boy, he just first made it on the land and swung his fucking stuff. That was D-Day.

Speaker 1 He went first.

Speaker 1 There's a lot more coming, dude.

Speaker 1 No shortage.

Speaker 1 I kind of like a lot of it, though. The Indian Bros.
The Indian Bros? Bro, Bena Fan.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. You guys.

Speaker 1 Bena Fan.

Speaker 1 when you were gone, I interviewed Sager from Breaking Points, and I tried to just get into Hinduism. Dude, they are not having it.
There's an iron wall.

Speaker 1 They are keeping white stoners out of Hinduism talk, dude. I was like, what about it? He's like, I fucking hate when fucking white guys talk to me about Hinduism.
Really?

Speaker 1 I'm like, that's a pretty cool. That's a pretty cool religion, dude.
I mean, it's not just all about Hinduism. We're the only ones that get fucking crushed for shit like that.
I don't know, dude.

Speaker 1 Like, if an Indian guy came up and was like, Tell me about Jesus Christ, I'd be like, bro. I'd be more than happy.
What do you want in that?

Speaker 1 Well, that's because we have a universal, you you know, Catholic land. We are built for everybody.
Yeah. Hinduism is, it's like an ethnic religion.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, it's not like, and he was, he was, he made a fair point. He's like, dude, it's so,

Speaker 1 he's like, depending on like what

Speaker 1 area you live in, there's like a patron fucking, you know, they have their patron blue guy. They have their genie.
And then like,

Speaker 1 you know, it's all based on like, he's like, it's so hyper-specific to like the area and where you're living. It's, you got to be born into it.

Speaker 1 It's like, it's like Judaism in a way where you kind of have to be born into it. Otherwise, people will be like, they just take you as kind of a poser.

Speaker 1 He kind of poser paused me, and I was like, I just think it's cool. Like, theoretically, I think it's cool.
Yeah, why not? You should be allowed to learn.

Speaker 1 He can't stop me from learning. Yeah.
But I was trying to, I was trying to, I just wanted to, like, I'm just interested in it as like a, you know, like growing up with that as like your backdrop.

Speaker 1 And he, he just was shut it down. He was just like, I, I don't know.
I think when you grow up with it, it's just like every

Speaker 1 eight or nine weeks, you and all your bros have to get sticks and swords and fight the Muslim guys with sticks and swords in the street. And then you call today, and then you go, all right.

Speaker 1 Buddy, buddy, buddy,

Speaker 1 fuck your buddy.

Speaker 1 Have you ever seen their fucking stick and sword fights?

Speaker 1 They all have ninja turtle weapons, and they just fucking

Speaker 1 fucking crazy, bro. It's Lord of the Fly.
It's nuts.

Speaker 1 That's the same thing with the Sino-Indian border dispute. They the same thing.
They have another stick. There's a whole other

Speaker 1 stick battlefront. Yeah.

Speaker 1 They've been disputing the Chinese-Indian border for like decades. And every now and again, the Chinese dudes will mogle and be like, five feet to ours.
They'll be like, get back.

Speaker 1 Get back. They have the stick fight.
God, that's the funniest thing in the world. Sucking, hitting the fucking face with a stick during the fight.

Speaker 1 And you got to give up like four feet of Mother India.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Coming back would be sick, though. You get the bros, you're all horny as hell.

Speaker 1 Fucking, I don't know, that's a horny bee, horny battle. This is the horniest fucking battle,

Speaker 1 but yeah, rest assured, the Indian dudes will be back, dude.

Speaker 1 Yep, I mean, Ramaswamy, I still, people spazzed and piled on him for that. And it's like, I get it.
Like, getting dressed down, just being like, no more fun, white guys, it's time to do math.

Speaker 1 It's like, I get it. Yeah.
But people were like deeply shocked and offended. And it's like,

Speaker 1 that's the one, that does make me laugh when you have all these people who are like, you have like white Americans who are like it's a meritocracy Sorry, everybody else.

Speaker 1 We got to the top and as soon as you talk about Indian guys coming in you're like we need some fucking legislation to keep what let's look come on. Let's look at this here.
It is that is kind of

Speaker 1 it's kind of wimpy on some white people been dying to be allowed to be racist. True, true.

Speaker 1 That is like a diet coke kind of for racism. Yeah, they go, what about Indian people when everyone goes, are we allowed?

Speaker 1 Are we allowed to do this? That was bottled up. Yeah, true.
Because, yeah, you really,

Speaker 1 the Indian guys, Ramaswamy did, you're actually right on that. He caught like a suppressed tidal wave of just kind of like just, you know,

Speaker 1 ethocentric thoughts, being like, we're in a fucking actor. People fucking spazzed on him.
He did, here's the thing, though. He did court that.
He did court those guys. He did.

Speaker 1 So he basically had his own little thing going and, you know, they just got him, bro. One, one slip up, and they were like, fuck you.
It's a dangerous world. It is.

Speaker 1 if you get into that fucking political clickbait shit oh yeah they're gonna get you left or right

Speaker 1 it's coming it's coming and it's so funny because it was like i could see him being like this is a deeply inspiring and dude it's

Speaker 1 he could also be right like just because you're like fuck you dude doesn't mean that's not just going to happen anyway wasn't he like no more sleepovers yeah Time to study?

Speaker 1 No more sleepovers, no more. He said less of one movie.

Speaker 1 Like think of like some like a rollerblading silly movie and, like, more, I don't know what fucking movie he would propose for us to get our act together. White guys got to pull their pants up.

Speaker 1 White guys's pants are up to here. Indie guys's pants are up to like their nipples.
So we might have to pull our pants off. All the pants meters.

Speaker 1 Indians are top of the pants.

Speaker 1 Where would you rank the Chinese?

Speaker 1 They're close second? They're close second. Or

Speaker 1 they probably go like every inch or every year. They probably, like, they're, it depends on how they're doing.
How many of them are doctors? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, if they lose doctors and their pants drop a little bit but no you're not wrong about that Indian Indian waistline is the ribs we we've been top of the pops in terms of pants height now like you know we're getting told to pull our pants off and we're like hey buddy this is don't worry about our culture dude we got some shit going on

Speaker 1 this is family business dude don't worry about our pants i know

Speaker 1 it was so funny but that's the question remains do white people need to pull their pants up because they could compete in a global marketplace which it just seems like

Speaker 1 we got to fucking yank our pants up. We might have to pull our pants.
We thought we were getting by with our pants to our fucking waists.

Speaker 1 Sometimes you, when the whites pull their pants up too high, though, true because those boys had some pretty high pants over in Deutschland. Kanye pulled his pants up

Speaker 1 to the moon.

Speaker 1 Kanye's pants are in the fucking strategy.

Speaker 1 Kanye pulled his pants up too much.

Speaker 1 Kanye, you gotta fucking pull your pants down a little.

Speaker 1 Bro,

Speaker 1 I didn't know he did a Super Bowl commercial, first of all. I didn't either.

Speaker 1 Did you see it? What is this?

Speaker 1 And then I checked his website. It was literally just the Swastika t-shirt t-shirt.
HH3 or something.

Speaker 1 Bro, he went fucking nuts.

Speaker 1 It's been a good read.

Speaker 1 Twitter page as long as it's a great read, bro.

Speaker 1 The Twitter rants were pretty great. All caps.
Sometimes you need to slap a bitch or something like that. You know, he says, I have, for the record, I have hit women.

Speaker 1 And then the one of them was in all caps, like, you guys think I'm freaking out. I'm actually over here chilling.
It's like, bro, you're tweeting in all caps. You're not chilling.

Speaker 1 Unless he's on some, like,

Speaker 1 this is the new marketing wave. I could see him going like genius mode in his head, being like, This is just a new millennia, dude.

Speaker 1 He's like, you know, big on puppeting people through their nervous systems. Although he does seem, he has came out on the record, been like, dude, I really don't like Jews.

Speaker 1 So he was, he really clarified his

Speaker 1 feelings pretty hard. So, and he seemed to chill a little bit.
He just

Speaker 1 fired the engine back. Chilled for nearly a year.
Yeah, and then he was like, you know what, man? Sometimes you got to pop out and show.

Speaker 1 That's been a funny.

Speaker 1 That's been a funny day. And then there was a guy who, he's like, I'm burning $25,000 worth of Yeezy shoes.
And it's like, first of all, dude, that's the most laughable.

Speaker 1 If you zoom out of that from another country, you're like, okay, this guy said he loves Hitler, so now this guy's going to burn $25,000 worth of sneakers.

Speaker 1 It's like, stop pretending you guys have problems, dude. Yeah.
That's like the dumb, that's like, for real. It was like embarrassing to watch that.
Like, let's all unite and burn these $700 sneakers.

Speaker 1 It's like, dude, what battle are you guys even seeing? Seems like you're trying to make it about you at that point. Yeah.
Hey, everyone. There's a blowtorch.
I'm about to go viral right now.

Speaker 1 With a blowtorch in a fire safe

Speaker 1 environment. I need to go viral now.

Speaker 1 And then the comments are so it's like, you already gave him your money, dumbass.

Speaker 1 Your busy's paid, bro. I know.

Speaker 1 Kanye could be securing a bag that no one on earth can see. That's what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 Once, dude, now that Jim Jones opened my eyes at the meta bag. I wonder how his swastika t-shirt sold.
That's the data.

Speaker 1 I've been told good.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 2 I'll check it out. Did you guys see the actual commercial, though? It's pretty funny.

Speaker 2 It's him just on his iPhone again, and he's going, I blew all the money I was supposed to spend on the commercial on these new grills. So this is the commercial.

Speaker 1 And then it just goes easy.com or whatever.

Speaker 2 And it's just him and like a dentist, like doing a front-facing selfie video.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Well, apparently, there's a connection with this dentist and the nitrous and shit.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 He might be gone off the galaxy blast.

Speaker 1 Who knows?

Speaker 1 I mean, dude, if you, but then, like, if you zoom all the way out on it, and it's obviously, again, he's like, I get it. If he's, if he's like full-on swastika, I get why people are bristled by this.

Speaker 1 He's prickling people for sure. But if you zoom out, he might be on just some other shit of like, we should really not worry about what anyone says.
But then it's like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Could be a giant performance art piece. That's my whole thing.

Speaker 2 It seems like they took his site down 24 hours ago.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I tried to check it the other day. It was gone.

Speaker 1 On my shopping cart, they were like, you have a notification.

Speaker 1 Shit, I still have seven in my shopping cart. I was getting one for everyone I know.
Just for the fam. Of course.
My mom's birthday is coming up. I figured I'd give her a yeasy swastika shirt.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I want to get my mom a swastika t-shirt.

Speaker 1 It is funny because at any point he can just be like, guys, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking.
Everybody, that's fine. You're all good, man.

Speaker 1 You're the man. You're the man.
He needs to drop an album. The album has to be good.

Speaker 1 It's going to be tough to make music with that

Speaker 1 lingering.

Speaker 1 I mean, has anyone ever made Nazi rap?

Speaker 1 No, I don't know. It's crazy.
He made a gospel album two years ago. Now he's selling Hitler shirts.
It's fucking crazy, dude. He might be just.

Speaker 1 I think it's pretty.

Speaker 1 But then how did he become a billionaire again? Is that even, didn't he get put out in like Forbes list of like he's now has like three billion dollars again or something?

Speaker 1 Maybe they unfroze all his fucking accounts.

Speaker 1 True. Gotcha.
That's a well, dude, here's what here's what it looks. Gotcha.

Speaker 1 I don't want to give anyone business advice, but if, you know, your account's getting unfrozen, last thing you want to do is do saustage.

Speaker 1 The funny thing is, he was like, he did all that, got everything frozen. And he was like, all right, I'm good.
I'm good. Sorry about that.
They go, all right, here's all your money back. He's like,

Speaker 1 fuck you guys. I'm fucking.

Speaker 1 It's crazy. It is.

Speaker 1 Still a goat.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, dude, it's still a goat, dude. I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 His Twitter is funny as shit. And he hasn't got kicked off of Twitter yet, right?

Speaker 1 I don't.

Speaker 1 Excellent.

Speaker 1 Well, dude, it does. I mean, again, it is like, I get, totally get why people are upset, but it does beg the question: like,

Speaker 1 might we have to be all become big boys and girls about words and just be like, okay, this guy's fucking popping off on some crazy shit.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Because, but then again, it's like, or are people so dumb that if you start doing that, people will go up and just be like, yeah, fucking, we are Nazis.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there's that. There's that.
I think people are pretty fucking dumb. So

Speaker 1 people could see the green light and be like, okay. For sure.

Speaker 1 But they can also do that. But that's also the green light to just also pop off on the internet for the most part.
Yeah. True.
I don't know. It's wild.
It is a wild dude.

Speaker 1 It's a tough one to comprehend. How did he even get that fucking? Well, I guess he got it.
Or maybe it's the most simple thing ever to comprehend. The guy's saying he loves Hitler.
You go, shut up.

Speaker 1 Exactly. Hitler was gay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, true. No one's taking that angle.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's just weird. That's the thing I'm kind of, yeah, I guess that's kind of what I'm saying.
I'm saying that, like, when I was listening to that Hitler book every fucking day,

Speaker 1 you listen to it, you go, this guy sucked dick. Yeah.
Like, there's this whole thing online where they're like, he was actually cool as fuck. I don't know if you really look into it.

Speaker 1 It's like, he sucked. Yeah, he was a baby.
Really look into it. He was truly a baby.
He was

Speaker 1 a big time baby. Wow, wow, Wes.
The Nazi swastika is backwards from the original Hindu one. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they say when you turn the swastika backwards from the original Hindu one, it's a sign of bad luck.

Speaker 1 Certainly was. He hexed himself.
Certainly was bad luck. Yeah, dude.
That's what happens. He harnessed the power.
It was just too great. Completely, completely destroyed the man.

Speaker 1 I actually have to whiz. Yeah, whiz.
Let's take our 90th break.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, let's go straight to the Patreon.

Speaker 1 Goodbye.