Ep 545 - Thunder Fish

The Wild Wild West.

Hey. No, I like it.
It smells like cigarettes. This one smells like cigs, too.
No, it's fucking Gardini's car. That's why.
It's Gardini's car. He's purifying the mics with tobacco.
Like a Native American shaman, dude. He's blowing tobacco smoke into them.
I'm sorry. I'll clean them.
No, thank you. I like the smell.
It's actually kind of nice. This is the bit I was waiting for.
Fucking paper straws, man. No more.
We're done. This is my last one.
No more. We're going to fucking, we're going to go back and put all the plastic rings around the dolphins' necks under Trump.
It's going to be awesome. We're going to get this country cooking.
Did you hear what he said when he was signing it? What? He's like, and I think the sharks are going to be okay as they're eating everything in the ocean. He's like, all right.
All right, man. Hilarious.
That is sick. He'd be like, sharks can bite anything.
He's like, sharks can bite anything. We're going to sign that.
What's next? I had LaMare. LaMare went in the ocean for the first time this weekend.
We're in Dania Beach, Florida. Yeah, dude.
Wasn't he at the beach at Skank Fest? He's never gone to the ocean. Or did he stay on the...
Skank Fest? Or no, the Florida Comedy Festival? Oh, yeah. I think he was on the beach, but I don't think he went to the ocean.
But he didn't get in the water. He stays away from the water.
Exactly. Oh, yeah.
He literally can't swim. No, we went to the ocean this weekend.
Dania Beach, by the way, their beach, a lot to be desired. A lot to be desired.
I went there. I'm like, LaMare, they'll have shops everywhere.
We need to show up. yeah that's tough there was nothing i mean i will say there were a lot of bubble butted mommies on the beach yeah that was about it uh there was big rocks in the ocean so you just

stub your toe in the ocean like oh fuck that would scare me dude if i even touch a rock i'm

high knees and out of the water bro i was telling the mayor i was like dude just come in the ocean you're fine,

man.

He's like,

I don't know.

There's like,

there's like sharks.

I'm like,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no,

there's no, there's no, there's no, he's like i don't know like there's like there's like sharks i'm like there's some fucking sharks in here we were like we went out pretty far like into a sandbar and then how'd you get him out for he literally he cannot swim it was it was waist it was waist high and then it went up to like up to your knees there's like a really sick it's really dangerous to bring him out there well here's the thing i saw there was a guy i was telling the mayor i'm like there was a dude who went like for real like 60 yards out and i was like just you don't want to be the furthest guy out that's the shark that's the shark guy you stay just halfway through and then uh and we went out to the sandbar and after we got we got done at the beach we got an uber back and the guy was like oh dania beach you know there's a lot of sharks i I looked it up. I was like, yep.
Great whites, dude. They migrate down during this time.
They come down and chill like around there. And I was just telling him, I was like, oh, my bad.
Great whites are so spooky. Dude.
I was like, LaMere, there's no shark. I googled.
I'm like, great whites. I saw a video of a giant hammerhead.
What? It's like a different type of hammerhead. They're fucking massive.
Can hammerheads bite you? I feel like that's one type of shark you could kind of outmaneuver. That lame-ass fucking head.
I know. It is a very dumb head, but it's certainly that can bite you.
Yes. You don't think you could just, like, grip its hammerhead and just...
Pause. That's true.
My bad, my bad. Hey, yo.
Just double fisted and red. Oh, man.
This is good. We did it today.
If we did it yesterday, I would have been asleep. Dude, I was sleepy too, man.
That was an insane weekend. Yeah, I bet, dude.
It was probably party. Was it, like, I'm sure the day before was party time.
Yeah, Friday, Saturday. Dude, the one time I went with Bert two years ago, we got there on a Monday.

We stayed for a week.

Oh, you did?

I remember that.

Because we did shows during the week.

Yeah, you guys did?

That was a week.

Weren't you guys staying in a bop house the day before?

We were staying at a full-on bop house with nothing but cameras.

Just Bert and his team and cameras. And every day, it'd be like, Shane, we shane we're gonna go do activities i'll be like i'll fucking kill you i'll fuck i'm not doing a fucking thing today leave me alone i need to go home uh this trip was it was just the a comment tommy down there partying it up it's good to see the boys I'm telling you, the Super Bowl, the more I never really thought about it until I went last year.
And I was like, dude, this is like the apex of worldly power. It is.
And then I was watching it this time just being like, dude, it was like freaking me. Yeah.
It's sick. Trump and T-Swift.
Yeah, dude. Fucking.
Her getting booed? I know.

That was, I'll be honest.

I was in the Eagles section for that.

That was a fun boo.

That was a, she's wearing a cheap skier.

These are Eagles fans.

Yeah, because.

You know what I mean?

A lot of people are trying to say that. And I thought it was very funny while it was happening.

And then I saw like a quote from Travis Kelsey that was like, that sucked.

I felt terrible.

While I was on the sideline, everyone was just booing my girlfriend. And it was like, yeah, I guess that's really terrible.
That'd be sad. Yeah, that's very sad.
I mean, yeah, especially like. Nah, come on, man.
Guard Dog says no mercy. Yeah, I don't have any.
I don't feel any empathy for Travis Kelsey. I mean, bro, I knew they're going to lose when I saw him dressed like fucking 70s porn star.

I was like, he's not taking this game seriously at all.

I think he's dressed like a 70s porn star every time.

I could be wrong.

Is he?

All right.

I think he does that.

Yeah.

Why?

What's up with the cool outfits?

Dude, what happened to sweatsuits?

Every college fucking athlete just wears a gray sweatsuit all the time.

Oh, that changed.

They wear a cool outfit.

Sure, they got that cash.

They all got rich as fuck. I did forget they were all yeah impoverished impoverished gladiators oh come in i'm sure they're going to tell the story on stuff island but it was uh so we we did bert's show on saturday night and that's when the okan man got in and he got in he was a little banged think his flight got delayed.
I think he, he wanted to catch up on the way. I got you.
Yeah. And I think he went a little too far.
Mission accomplished. So he shows up, but he, I didn't know he was hammered.
So we're sitting there and then Tyreek Hill walks in and he's standing right next to us and he has his people with him. But Chris was against the wall.

Tyreek Hill's right here.

We're in the tunnel at the arena.

And I just,

I'm standing next to Chris on the wall and Chris just reaches through Tyreek Hill's people and like grabs his arm and they turn around like,

what the fuck?

And I was like,

no,

he's,

he's my friend.

Cause I just met him and I was like,

he's good.

He's my buddy.

And then they walk away and I was like, Chris, what the fuck was that? And he was like no he's my friend because I just met him and I was like he's good he's my buddy and then they walk away and I was like Chris what the fuck was that and he was like I'm sorry I'm so stupid and as soon as he did that I was like oh you're fucking blacked out what the fuck are you doing you didn't know you had a sleeper cell he was a full sleeper cell I had no idea because I wasn't really talking to him I was about to go on on stage. And then I was like, dude, what the fuck you do? You don't just grab people's arms.
He's like, ah. Fuck.
Then I go on stage. And apparently while I was on stage, Julian Edelman walks by.
And Chris goes, can I give you a hug? And he was like, why? And then walked away. And Chris was likeris was like oh fuck so then he's coming back through the tunnel it's crazy you took it to a why be like state your reason i mean i get it he doesn't even know the guy i know and some guy staying drunk in the tunnels like can i give you a hug man and then i realized i've hugged every single person that's ever asked for a fucking hug i'm like yeah yeah sure sure and it's funny like he was kind of thinking about it he's like well why like yeah he's like why should i why would i hug you and then he's edelman's coming back in the tunnel and apparently chris went for a super low five he was walking by and chris was like and he said edelman just was like no the fuck and i was like dude of course he did that I would have thought someone was like just purely fucking with me like a low five that's like are you I wouldn't have even thought he was giving me a high five pulling a low five away is high if I was walking by and somebody was like yeah what are you doing what is this man anyway that was Chrisris's big uh fucking sliding in a low five i i get wanting the hug the hug is not and i was like what the fuck you asked for a hug for and he was like it's julian edelman i love julian edelman oh he's a bit he's a new englander yeah but it's like yeah dude that's crazy.
But going for the low five on the slide. Like, look, I get it.
You got to keep up appearances. You can't be hugging me right now.
Just give me a low five on the slide. Oh, low five.
Give me the lowest five. That was the okay.
And then he carried that shame all weekend. And he was just constantly just.
That's so funny.

Yeah.

That was.

Because, yeah, he is.

He's high awareness enough to really analyze that behavior later.

And he probably did.

Probably did.

It was a thorn in his side.

Yeah.

The Ocon man took that one very personally.

I think he punched a wall later.

It was quality footage.

Somebody just sent me a video of him, like, outside punching a gate. And I was like, oh, man.
The O-K-Man. I spooked Vince Vaughn that one time.
What'd you do? Badly in Vegas last year. What'd you do? I was hammered last year in Vegas.
I kept doing the, whatever that game was, when they were like, if the beer's in your left hand, you have to chug it right away. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I kept getting caught with the beer. That was the Bills.
That was Gabe bills that was game i was passing the yeah i would just be like you know i i was hitting a vape pan i'd like take it you pussies and i'd switch it to my right hand they'd be like ah you got to drink your beers and i was just chugging vodka and sodas i got hammered and we were on that like never-ending party bus thing for a while yeah oh yeah i got off the party bus and i was like what the fuck is that vince vaughn i was

hammered and i was i looked at him and i was like vince you're our only hope take us to the place and he i like turned around to nate and he was just 45 feet ahead i was like oh my bad you're only hope dude like your only hope. Yeah, it is wild.
It's just so many celebs. True.
Celebs and your hammer, and you're like, holy fuck, there he is. I got to go say it.
It's Ty, this is my one chance. Vince Vaughn, will you save us? I just, like, saw him and reacted to, like, something that was bubbling, like, beneath my brain.
It's like, dude, you're our only hope. You're the chosen one.
Take us to're the chosen one take us to the promised land no idea what i was talking yeah i mean that's exactly what happened to the comment he saw joey and edelman was just like joey can i get a hug from you right now no no why why do you want to hug it is a very and especially for like the why to hit o'connor's brain have have him like, why would I ask for that? Just fully echo in his head. I didn't consider the reasons.
That's awesome, though. So you guys started off on just like an absolute fever pitch.
I mean, I just didn't. He was a full sleeper cell.
I had no idea. He was among us.
That is crazy to find out. Something did not know.
I was like, what the fuck happened? He was like, my flight got delayed. I had a couple of whiskeys.
I was like, well, it's a long night. It's fucking 730.
That's how early it was? It was early. Yeah.
No. Yeah.
What happened? Where did his journeys take him the rest of that night? That is super early. Obviously, punching the fence or whatever he did.
I don't know. He at irish exiting he can hit a good irish goodbye like out of nowhere you'll just be like where's o'connor and someone will be like he's he got in a car yeah he just stumbled out also walk oh he'll start running he'll hit a fucking long walk he used to sprint i forgot about that i wonder if he still does that my favorite thing i've ever seen him do is when we're i had a party at my house like years ago in philly and he just we were all sitting on the roof deck and he was just wearing headphones and everyone's like what uh what uh what are you doing he was like listening to bob seger every single time he went on a bob seger phase for like three years where he would listen to like a rock he would get hammereded and listen to just songs.
So good. I could see at a party, though, kind of is like doing some personal night moves would be decent.
Just be like, I'm just charging myself back up to the vibe. Yeah, it's pretty sick.
Damn, dude, that was that's night one. Night one.
Yeah. And then that night after Bert's show, me and Zach Bryan did a show at a bar, which was very funny because Zach was like, all right, I'll go first.
Then you go on and do some stand-up. And I was like, bro, that would be the worst possible show.
Yeah, me first. Of all time.
Comedy cannot follow music ever. Never.
And he was like, all right, man. He's like, it's up to you.
He's like, that's that'll work so we go in it's just a packed college like just young kids packed standing room only the stage is like a rug on the floor there's no stage and it was it was like i went on fair to midland yeah fair very fair to midland i was excited to be like that's it for me zach, Zach Ryan. Everybody, they're like, ah.
And then he murdered. And while he was killing, I was like, this is crazy.
You thought I was going to follow that with like a jacking off story? Yeah. Yeah, that's impossible.
At the end, it was a small bar. And then in the backyard, there was like a construction area, like in a muddy alley, which is where we went after just hung out back there.
But from the exit of the bar to the back alley, there was like a construction area like in a muddy alley which is where we went after just hung out back there but from the exit of the bar to the back alley there was like a pretty big drop into this construction area and i literally got to the door there were people behind me i was like watch out there's a very big drop here and i just stepped out and rolled my ankle i literally looked at what was gonna happen i was like watch out guys you could get guys. You could get hurt on this.
Thank God I didn't fall down. I was so close to fall.
I really fucked my ankle up on that. Yeah, dude.
How deep? What was it? You're talking like 12 inches? Yeah, there were just trenches everywhere back there. Oh, you guys were in Atlanta? No, in New Orleans.
New Orleans. I don't know why I kept thinking of Super Bowls in Atlanta.
I was talking to everyone. We were there for the national championship.
That's what it was. Maybe, yeah.
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So you're in New Orleans. Down in New Orleans.
I love New Orleans. Is it a bounce back? What's that? They've had a lot.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They bounce back.
Dude, that was freaking me out, too, the day. I wasn't even.
I was talking about Katrina, but then they had another track. I thought you were talking about.
As soon as I said that, I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm thinking. Because I went there post-Katrina a long time ago, and it was like, fuck.
So I'm sure they've recovered. Isn't that a juvenile song? Bounce Back? Bounce Back.
I'm about to bounce back.

I think.

Trust me.

Is it a juvenile song or are you thinking of 504 Boys and Wobble Wobble?

No, no, no.

You might be getting a bounce confused with a wobble.

No, that's a juvie classic.

Bounce Back.

It could be.

Was it a post-Katrina or a big show?

There's a big show.

Yeah, there's a Bounce Back Juvenile.

Sick.

Nice.

Thank God I got that.

Yes.

We have a visitor.

That was a weird knock.

It was kind of a friendly knock.

Who's that rapping?

Yeah, we should probably.

Who's rapping upon my door?

Be careful, Sean.

Oh, it's Texas Gas Service.

See how GuardDog handles this.

You're getting checked on for heavy gas consumption.

All right.

You've been using... Great.

Hey, we're back. Just a minor gas leak in my house.
No big deal. Nothing new.
No big deal. I'm going to try to find the gas leak in Sylvia Plath myself.
Just put my mouth in. I'll go find that thing.
Call it a day. Actually, dude, I got a...
It was really nice. Dana Beach Improv gave me a gift certificate to a used bookstore as a gift.
That's nice. It was really nice.
So I went I finally went and it was like I got to get an Uber from the hotel. And I'm like, well, because that area was Broward County is where they film cops.
Yeah. So I was like driving around through there.
And dude, it's like it's kind of sketchy around there. Yeah.
Like very sketchy. I was like, whatever.
So I'm in an Uber and I'm like like anytime you left a little we were at a hub obviously that's all it is outdoor hubs left the hub and it's just like vice city all around so i pulled the driver i'm like yeah there's like a bookstore up here somewhere dude it was a shopping center of just at least one if not two massage parlors so i'm pulling in the guys like a gift card for books dude he's like You said there's a bookstore, right? And I was like, yeah, dude, I swear to God, there's a bookstore. I thought he thought I was like.
Adult bookstore. I'm going to get some books.
I'm about to read for the next. I'm going to read for 15 minutes, and then I'm going to just wait here.
So I'm sitting there. I'm going to come back wet from a shower.
My hair is all out of shower you wouldn't believe it i told you my one friend in an absolute the most depraved move was with visiting with a girlfriend hanging with the family ducked off hit the fucking wash reunited back with the family wet hair and all and was like what's up guys the craziest fucking move but yeah i'm like pulling up and he struck he was just sitting there with his family and he was like he was with her family yeah just all right i'm gonna head out for a minute i gotta he got the itch and he was like ended up being late like it was like they were down there like to visit she was just jacked off in the car bro which would have been crazy that would have been psychotic That's i mean dude hitting being like yo if you guys will excuse me yeah with your own family it's like okay it's still nuts but with like someone else's family that is a wild i mean i know you know all all respect goes to the fucking move it's a sick move powerful move break out like our family's gonna stress me out i'm gonna get by a sex life. All right.
And I'm back. And fully bathed and wet hair and showers.
Just coming back and laughing at what they're laughing at. Smelling totally different.
You just reek of dollar store lotion. Yeah, you were drenched.
Drenched and just fucking totally relieved. Yo, I hugged a guy this weekend that was drenched.
Did you really why was he drenched i don't know he was oh because it was raining it was raining at the super bowl before we got in the guy came just came in from outside i was standing line he's like i'm big fan i was like god damn dude you're fucking soaked dude that fucking gatorade they dumped on the coach i was spying that gatorade i'm dude, they got to give that guy a raise. Whoever's concocting that stuff.
That was bright yellow

Gatorade. That shit's not watered down at all.
No. Oh, dude, this made me laugh.
Okay. So first

things first, the bookstore I pull up, I was relieved at the very end of it, there was a

bookstore. And I was like, I told you there's a bookstore up here, dude.
And he's like, yeah,

whatever, man. I go into the bookstore.
It was the worst layout I've ever seen where, you know,

it was like in like the Hogwarts library or any old library library there's like giant ladders and the books are stacked super high most of the books were like as high as your fucking ceiling and they're like you can't get on the ladders it's like well i don't know what's up there so how could i even ask it was like and then they were like going over these old like antique maps so anytime i try to get to the other end they got there i'd be like uh excuse me guys and they would be like okay and then like move out of the way and i'm like bro what the fuck man trying to buy some books from your fucking store anyway it's pissing me off but the thing that made me laugh was i was i'm out there i forgot my belt this weekend every single i forgot my belt this dude and i was telling the mayor i had a flashback to when you were in new york and you were just like you show me your closet and there was like 40 belts i'm like damn you have so many belts you're like i gotta get a new belt like every week because i forget them and i remember i told the mayor i confessed i was like bro that was like the most jealous i've ever gotten being like that's so fucking sick dude you're so just getting that many belts out of necessity by the way i don't even buy the belts i go to well sometimes when i'm on the road i will have i have to buy a belt yeah i usually just go home and steal phil's belts do you every time i'm home i steal phil's belts and then i forget them i never take them on the road so then i'm like i need a belt i was just laughing being like dude that's so sick to have so many belts and then like because the one time I had to buy a belt on the road, I was like, dude, it's all happening, bro. I have a belt from traveling.
You made it. I thought it was so sick.
I thought it was so sick. It's not compared to my Milwaukee fit, bro.
When I lost, when my luggage got lost, I had to buy a whole new, when I got the Vans, Vans t-shirt. I had to do that once.
I went to Dick's, and I bought, like, golf pants and, like, a t-shirt. And that was kind of sick.
But yeah, I didn't buy a belt. I was bending over on stage and I'm pretty sure like part of my ass crack came out at one point.
I was like, apologies, man. I need a belt on stage because I'm already doing like the fat shirt tug.
Yeah. You toss in adjusting pants on top of the fat shirt tug.
It's a very active scene. You know what I mean? The guy's constantly.
I was hands in pocket all weekend. I was very Fallon.
I was hands in pocket, classic. Classic late night.
But I was really kind of just holding up my pants because they kept coming down on me. Because I've lost a couple pounds, bro.
I'm out of the 180s. I'm 179.6.
That's good. It's pretty sick.
I'm doing another fast, too. I was hoping.
Five day. Yes.
Monday through Friday. First 24 hours, dry fast, no water for 24 hours, no food or water 24 hours, and then four-day fat water fast with just salt.
I'm going to petition for some electrolyte. I need an unflavored electrolyte mix.
If you if you don't eat for a while you don't like you lose all your electrolytes there you go there goes our hero dude the gas man he's gonna come around knock in a second and say yeah that thing's leaking like crazy i'm gonna go oh great things leaking like a sieve how do they test they just hold like a lighter up and see if it flames up i have no idea i think obviously not that but sprays i think they spray some type of soapy mixture and they see where it's bubbling if i had to guess looks something like that yeah i mean i've i've look i could have you should have told me i would have went out i had no idea i mean i actually knew all because i'll try to heat it and barely heats yeah nothing like backfires you can hear it like a car dude i you, man, what like builders get away with now, it's criminal.

They the place across from us in Philly, when we live there, they were like, you know, luxury condominiums and the windows.

Dude, I'm not lying.

Separated from the wall that much.

No exaggeration.

It was it was ungodly.

And they were like, yeah, we're, they just won't return our calls.

They just throw them up.

You just do it as cheap as you possibly can.

Just get the fuck out of there.

What book did you get?

Oh, boy.

I had like four or five.

It was like a fucking $150 gift certificate.

Nice.

So I got as many as I could possibly bring back without making my luggage too, too heavy.

And then just gave a $60 credit to an old lady. But the I started fucking with Finnegan's Wake from James Joyce.
It's totally indecipherable. It's like, yeah, but I'm reading Joseph Campbell wrote it's Finnegan's Wake skeleton key.
So I've been in absolute fucking heaven. You know, Joseph Campbell.
Not a hero with a thousand faces. He was like the one of the first dudes to get like real into kind of like deciphering myths kind of like how peterson started he was like i mean carl young obviously he's a goat with it but campbell came up and made like a really approachable kind of understanding to just like myths and all you know whatever and he he's like going through with his boy reading finnegan's wake and just being like by the way, this what he means by this this is what he means by this i mean it's it's i've been i've just been absolutely just like dumb shrug by joyce's genius dude it's amazing nice it's dude it's crazy it's just like the only thing he has to declare wasn't that him what when he got to america the idea of anything to declare it was like my genius probably i think it like him he didn't have any money he was fucked he spent dude he wrote a book he like you know obviously double inners short stories classic and he wrote ulysses and everyone's like okay we're fucking with you this is kind of a hard read we're fucking with you and then he spent i think like 20 years of his life a third of his life on finnegan's wake and no one can it just he like makes up words it's nonsense but you have to have like it's one of those things where every other sentence is an illusion to like it's almost like you have to have like have like a total understanding of like greek mythology because it'll like make an illusion obviously campbell's fucking goat ass is like oh by the way and he just expounds on it i've just been in absolute fucking heaven dude really he's like and then the main character turns back it's like dude it's no it's so sick you gotta read a book to read a book you gotta read it's gotta read a book to understand that book no dude it's so good dude the whole again i have no understanding i have a pitiful understanding of it but it's like the book is about finnegan's wake is about uh i didn't know it's about the guy who he's like an eternal.
It's based on like an Irish myth, mythological figure who's like up on a ladder falls and dies and he's coming back to life. That's like the kind of like ballad or whatever.
But then they like tie that into like the death and resurrection Jesus myth with these four quadrants. Now they have like the Kali Yuga kind of thing where it.
Where it's hard times to make, soft man, soft man, blah, blah, blah. There's a Western version of that where it's basically primal stuff.
It's like a theocracy, then a king, then it goes to democracy, and after every democracy, they rise to the top. Literally every civilization crumbles.
Break time. Time for the gas, man.
Time out from the game. Hold on, guys.
Okay. Yeah, for the record, that was Oscar Wilde, not James Joyce.
That sounded like some Oscar Wilde bullshit, if I'm being honest. James Joyce.
I mean, actually, it's funny because that he kind of could not. He doesn't cover that specifically.
So in the book, it's based on Finnegan's Wake, but also the main character is like the... I didn't know the city of Dublin is shaped on a hill that kind of resembles an old...
they say like it's based on Finnegan's wake but also the main character is like that I didn't know the city of Dublin is like shaped on a hill that's kind of like resembles an old job they say like a giant is sleeping in the ground that like they're like his head's on one side of the city and his feet's on the other side so he's writing a novel about that guy who's like a giant in the ground but then he somebody's really hard to explain but he gives forth two sons that are kind of like the classic canaan he gives forth he gives forth he gives forth two sons hce and you talk about books it's so sick but he has there's like these two brother figures so like the jesus christ i have a poor understanding but basically the guy is not finnegan's wake finnegan's coming back to life and they go finnegan rest we have a new father and then this it's this guy who's like apparently also a hill but who's also a guy she does something like to pervert it in a park to these to this young girl he gets fucking he gets me too basically what yeah he gets me too there's these fucking hot ladies and it's all about how like man is always going to fall to the sniz that's like the one theme like it's it's going to happen man's going to fall to the snizz and then dudes were like getting propelled by these forces that are always going to make us fight each other every civilization is going to collapse and he just kind of just like jumps in and out of like time and it's really cool of like different uh warriors and these two brothers shem and sean shem is like he's the deep writer type no one will ever love him yeah but he's the only one connected to the truth and there's sean who's just like killing it and they're always fighting and killing each other it's fucking tight but sorry that's it's uh again i'm just going off joseph campbell's interpretation don't i don't want to i don't yeah i don't want to get confused with joseph campbell's interpretation uh all of caribou's interpretations that's all you can do with finnegan's wake there's nothing else there's all you can do but that's when i've been reading that at night and just been absolutely in heaven just going back and forth doing like oh that's what that means oh fuck dude the thunderfish i never even thought of the thunderfish of course it's fucking awesome of course he means the thunderfish what is the thunderfish doing uh it's just like the food of eternal life it's just like the x uh something it's yeah whatever the axis yeah the axis and then the word for like latin word for thunder but it is such a funny move to spend 30 years on a book and everyone was like dude what the fuck this is what are you doing sean sean talking about the thunder fish talking about thunder fish bro pause nice i think we all know who loves taking photos, but their hundreds of pictures are just wasting away on their phone. Start putting them to good use with a unique, stylish digital picture frame from Aura Frames.
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Oh, dude. My girlfriend was like, yo, your tits look fucking crazy tonight.
Your tits look crazy here. Yeah.
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Yes, plug your show.

Hello, everybody.

I'll be in St. Pete, Florida.

Hello, everybody.

Show face.

I'll be in St. Pete, Florida.

St. Peter's, Florida, tonight and tomorrow and tomorrow at coastal creative please come if you can seangardini.com thank you seangardini.com of course brother but yeah so that's it i'm not gonna bore you the thing it's wake but that's the only thing i will say it's been putting me this is what i like about it's been putting me in a very timeless state frame of mind that's the best way to do.
Outside of time. Tillich's dimension of depth.
Of course. That's how I've been feeling.
You're in Tillich's dimension of depth. That's how I've been feeling lately.
So that's been a nice feeling to kind of leave time. I had a feeling.
Have you been caught whacking off lately? I told you last week. I know you've just been an ageless wanderer, but have you been caught jacking off in a bathroom? I mean, dude, like HCE, yes, I was caught fucking i was tempted by the sirens in my own mind came and got you i was yeah i was caught i was but that was last weekend bro that was in the past What are man that was so embarrassing she's like what are you doing in there and i'm just in the shower with a boner just what nothing nothing she's like i saw what you're doing i was like ah damn it now i got caught lying and jerking off huh i'm just the biggest piece of shit in the world i wish i wish i could tell you i didn't almost get caught yesterday i wish i could tell I almost didn't get caught.
I had to scamper. Did you really?

But she didn't hear the scamper i survived oh you got scamper to the lav i heard the door open scampered so you got the entrance i got the ski daddle i heard the door open and i ski daddled on back to the lavatory bro that's not like we've been training for that our whole fucking lives. I know, but I haven't had to ski-daddle in so long.

I fucking made it to the bathroom.

I was like, what?

Take a shit. God, what?

I'm doing this.

Take a shit.

So you didn't get the full release.

Damn, you probably charged it up.

And I was like, she's taking a nap.

I'm fucking set.

Oh, yeah.

Of course. The second we started.
Brother, welcome to my world. charged up and i was like she's taking a nap i got i'm fucking set oh yeah of course the second

we started brother welcome to my world thunder fish thunder fish flops in the room and i had to ski on daddle down to the lab with my pants and my knees ski daddle down expert shuffle there's the potato

the sack race

to the bathroom

what

I thought you scared me why do i have my phone in my shower i was answering an email phone in the shower is the most sinister delight but also so fucking it's just too risky phone in the shower so risky unless you got a

big shampoo bottle you can fucking pop in front of it but yeah man i've i've i don't bring my phone in the shot i used to there's a period where i was big phone and shower guy and it's just like i think it's literally taken a couple years off of my life the anxiety yeah i'm just having just the lowest volume just going oh shit what the fuck his phone soaking wet on the fucking sink outside the shower the garage door at my parents house that was a that was a godsend that's what you need man we need to bring back garage doors get this rigged up with an alarm dude beep beep beep no I got it I got it yeah do you have the ring camera now oh perfect there you go see who's coming and going there you go yep why don't you say it yeah man get in here say it into the microphone bud yeah call it fabbing recently not recently but uh you know how every college dorm is like yeah they got the drains are all clogged because all the kids are have you ever heard that old tale no but it makes perfect my dorm showers drains everyone always has that story with your fucking hairy ass well they say it's because of the calm they say it's good in the boys shower drains always clog with common ass hair and i was contributing to that clog in my university my freshman year in the common shower area in the common shower area that's where i would have to hurt myself because i had two roommates in my dormitory

i don't think i caught a beat in the shower i really don't it's really bad it's like a hospital shower too there you know it's like the shitty curtains and it's just you know like a closet so it's a sad beat in there and the my my classmates hollered at me while i was hurting myself in the college shower.

What do you do to them?

I think we caught someone

one time. hollered at me while I was hurting myself in the college shower.

So you called me, what do you do today?

I think we caught someone one time where we used to like, while people were showering,

we would fuck with them in my freshman dorm.

And we like one time yanked the curtain open and he was just standing there with a full enrager.

We're like, oh, that's what would happen to me if they were to, if they were to breach

it, that would have happened to me.

Yeah, you can't.

I mean, I've tried to come up with a million arguments for why I'm having a boner in the shower and there's no it's just you're busting water felt good leave me alive there's also there's a there's a like a kind of like a noise pattern if you're beating off in the shower the water falls in a very specific way yeah you got to try to like he's turning back that you got to turn your back to it but then you're

like well i want the warmth yeah so i can simulate fellatio so it's tricky you gotta watch it because it's like the water falls in like little torrential drops but yeah you know all our brothers do stay strong out there dude keep it underground keep it underground dude it's the revolution dude it will not be televised

occasionally it almost be televised.

Occasionally, it almost gets televised.

You have to scamper.

I told you I spun the last time I got caught into some SEXO.

Yes.

I just fully owned it and was like, bro, I'm getting erotic in here.

Excuse me.

I'm all worked up, man.

Help me out.

Help a brother out here.

Help a brother out here. I should have done the uncle sam yell what are you doing in there don't do it in there young man you must be out your damn mind your wife will be awake any minute you love the super bowl performance i thought it was underwhelming i really did yeah it was i uh i i had you know did i kind of want to see it go poorly i think there was part of me genuinely that you know i was hating i was hating not as much as they were hating they were hating hard that was the most hate that was that was fucking it was the most hate possible it was some really see i didn't understand all the symbology under it dude i didn't know so deep i didn't know whose x's were there.
The X's were there because it was like a PlayStation and this is a game. Oh, shit.
You ever think about that? Oh, shit. Bro, his chain was an A minor.
I was trying to figure out. I thought it was his middle initial.
Wow. A minor.
Oh, also, actually, technically it was a lowercase A. A minor is...
There's like an actual notation for A minor. You can do that.
Oh that oh really yeah so i thought the lowercase a would be the a minor no there'd be a tiny little m that's technically a minor that's just a lowercase a that's just a little a but maybe it's even deeper there's probably some shit i'm not even saying i don't know anything about keys at all yeah we're like secret fucking pedophile hieroglyphs the a minor doesn't why maybe i got that symbology wrong you could be right though man i mean why else would there be a tiny little a you know checks out it makes sense to me but yeah i didn't i thought that uh i don't know you know what i was just it lacked kind of the showmanship i was like dude, dude, Ersher last year, say what you want about Ersher. You know what I mean? Look, the guy's got skeletons.
I don't know what happened. I know he got in some legal hot water.
Hopefully it's not true about potentially giving a man herpes, which, you know, I hope he didn't do that. Yeah.
But his performance was great, you know? Yeah, of course. Ersher's performance was crazy.
Of just like okay i don't know it just seemed it seemed all built around smiting another man and it was just kind of like bro like it's cool you know winning is great i'm glad you won but i don't know man i wasn't it wasn't for me for sure i mean yeah you gotta you want to play your hits. Yeah.
And not, because one of the knocks on him is the only time he gets attention is when he's talking about drake as of late for sure and uh there it is again he did it again yeah he got the most attention in his career because but here's what you gotta think about is what you gotta think about and i i do appreciate uh jim jones for opening my eyes to thinking like this was he what like what about the bag? What kind of bag was he getting? Because they were coming at Drake for- For the Super Bowl? Yeah, he got the bag. It's free.
What? Yeah. You perform for free? Yeah.
What is this? You get zero dollars. What the fuck? Yeah.
Just, I guess it's like good publicity? Yeah. What? Who pays for all those fucking million dancers? I mean, I'm sure they cover that.
You don't pay for that, but. Okay.
That'd be crazy, bro. If I was a foot in the bill, I'd be like, yeah, let me surround myself with 800.
God, why am I doing the fact checking? Come on, man. I said, if I had to fit the bill for 800 male dancers, that's crazy.
He had a lot of bros. It was just the bros, dude.
That was a lot of guys dancing. I'm going to need 800 male dancers.

I like tough dancing.

Me too.

I like when people are mad dancing.

I got a little scared.

I was like, oh.

I was spooked out.

I was scared of that.

I was very scared during the performance.

It's classic.

That was a Philip Ross one book. The old professor does that accidentally.

He's saying a ghost. He's like, I feel like there's a spook in here the student's like hey and they fire him off the canvas but the professor's secretly half black and he's been hiding in his whole life we could talk lit dude all you want i would love to talk lit but yeah dude that was uh yeah it was kind of boring it was just like all right this is uh you know it did take him to new heights him like besting drake in a you know an exchange of words did take him to new heights but Him, like, besting Drake in a, you know, an exchange of words did take him to new heights, but it's like.
What's going on, Sean? Did you find out the information? He got a bag, but he got a baby bag. He gets the standard union rate, which is $1,000 per day for rehearsal and performance.
The baby bag? He got a baby bag, yeah. He got a little bag.
He got a fanny pack well dude uh jim jones might have had the best take on the drake loss and his whole thing is so funny him and cameron beefing but he went on a podcast with i swear to god it was the best take of the drake lawsuit stuff how he's suing like umg or whatever united yeah yeah you know yeah and universal universal yeah that's what it is universal music group and uh this guy was like yeah dude it's like against the code though like he's going against the code of hip-hop and jim jones was like dude drake's going after a bag you cannot comprehend basically you know he was basically saying that he's going after the you know it's It is slightly Kanyasky he's going after the dudes who have given us all these raw deals the labels who have been lording over us the culture and he's going at like the eye of the fucking hornet's nest and getting he was like i mean he's probably going to get a billion dollars in this lawsuit it's like no he's not he's gonna get a lot where you think he'll get i think he'll get a lot yeah i mean if from what i've been told it's like they were trying to lower his stock so his next deal wasn't as big as the last couple have been he's with them he's with universal that's their well and their things like why would we want to undermine our last deal was like 400 million yeah true so well that's what jim jones funniest take. He was like, bro, he's going after a bag, and he's like, you can't say anything about Drake if you want to still hang with your bros in the hood who are falling off of buses and getting lawsuits.
He's like, you can't say that. Drake's taking it to the next level.
We've got some workman comps, bros. We've got a couple of those, bros.
That's what he was saying. He was like,'s nothing there's nothing more gully than like pretending to hurt your neck on a bus that was his whole that that was his whole thing and like drake's hurting his neck on the biggest bus imaginable and it's actually sick as fuck i was like dude jim jones that was absolutely i could be wrong but i think kendrick went through the tupac estate to sue dra first.
Did he really? But no one cares. Wait, what Tupac estate? Drake had a diss track with AI Tupac.
Right. And that got taken down because of a lawsuit.
For sure. Oh, he was like, you can't use the ghost of Tupac to beef.
He's like, that's outside of the rules. So Kendrick did it.
He did a lawsuit first. No one cares.
Hold on. So they were in court.
There was like guys in court battling over ghost Tupac. Yes.
And like ghost Tupac called my defendant. Ghost Tupac wouldn't have said that.
Your honor, Tupac might still be alive, actually. All black Jerry.
you going but yeah he basically broke down the thing of being like stop trying to act like he's he's offending some code of the streets he's like bro like this is he's getting the biggest bag and he was like your problem is you can't see the bag like the bag he was saying like the bag exists out of this guy's entire frame of dimension you can't so sick it's Not in your, yeah. To hit him with the meds and be like, bro, your bag.
He was saying like the bag exists out of this guy's entire frame of wear. It's a different dimension.
You can't. It's so sick, dude.
It's not in your, yeah. To hit him with the med, be like, bro, your bags.
You can only imagine such a bag. It is a meta bag.
He's like, Drake is on the bag. You can't.
Just getting deep on the bag is so sick. I can't fathom this.
But yeah, that was my whole, that was my personal take on the Super Bowl performance. It should have been Lil Wayne.
It should have been Lil Wayne. And then also the whole craze of like the, you know, this whole like battle thing.
I feel like it really, the sun set on it. Has it almost been a year? No way.
It's been fucking forever. It's been like eight months.
That was a year ago when he sued him?

Jesus Christ.

April what?

2024.

Damn.

But that was...

Yeah.

So it probably started last April.

I was just hoping you'd say 420.

Yeah.

But yeah, dude.

That's been a fucking year?

Yeah.

God damn.

I feel like that was like three months ago.

No, this is...

Thank you. yeah but yeah dude that's been a fucking year god damn I feel like that was like three months ago no this is this has lasted longer than the Will Smith slap he needs to do it again he's going back I think he needs to slap somebody he's a slap that Indian guy how could he slap how could he slap Yeah, people were trying to make the Taylor Swift boo into this whole sea change of the people are waking up, dude.
They know they don't like this. So you're telling me she was wearing Chiefs shit.
Yeah, Chiefs fan. It was all Eagles fans.
It's so funny. At the beginning of the game.
Of course, everyone's going to be like, fuck you, bitch. Yeah, and there was also like she was, people were like, she's ruining football.
Before she was on, they were literally showing a Chiefs fan, showing an Eagles fan. Boo.
Boo any time it was a Chiefs fan. Was there that many Philly people? She was an Eagles fan.
So many Eagles people there? It felt like there was more Eagles fans. And there's one thing I noticed, the Chiefs fans are like all old, fat white guys.
Yeah. They're all just chubby white guys from fucking Kansas and Missouri.
Yeah. This is the third one in a row they've been to yeah so they didn't like they didn't they didn't care as much they didn't have the fire in their bellies eagles fans are all fucking trash gremlins that were there like needed it yeah birds are like everyone was yeah everywhere you looked it was eagles fans well that's also a weird pressure if you've won two two Super Bowls in a row, I'd be fucked up being like – because then it's like there's no way you're not laxing and kind of like chilling.

There's no way.

They were lamping.

There's no doubt.

They lamped.

Yeah, exactly.

They were lamping.

Why, though?

I mean, it makes sense.

You're two times –

I mean, I guess they made it to the Super Bowl,

so I guess they weren't relaxing too hard.

It was pretty hard to do.

That's true.

They just got there and couldn't protect their quarterback. Dude, you know they didn't blitz either.
They didn't blitz once, man. Four-man rush, bro.
Four-man rush. That blew my mind.
When I found out they didn't blitz, I was like, wait, what? Yeah, I mean, the Chiefs also throw the ball every fucking down. Yeah.
So your defensive line knows they can pass rush every play. And then when they're down 17, it's like they're going to be throwing the ball.
Yeah, fuck. Just just send just send four is their offensive line that bad i mean i'm not trying to smite their offensive line but like bro they got like what happened i don't know because they're so good that's the whole time i was like dude mahomes is good if you put him down he's nasty as fuck but they were just like melting right through it was wonderful it.
It was. It was really beautiful.
Truly a sight.

Yeah.

Poor Reed, though.

I went to the after party.

Did you really? I got to hold the trophy.

It was crazy.

Did you raise it?

No, I was just like...

Yeah, I didn't really take it in.

I was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's lighter than I thought it'd be.

I felt like a real imposter.

Why? I don't know. What the fuck am i doing holding those super bowl trophies everywhere i go i feel like a fucking imposter and that was crazy yeah that is fucking nuts holding it i mean that is sick it was awesome that's fully the aggro crag dude you held the aggro cragro crag.
I guess the party must have been sick, though.

Party was awesome.

Did champagne bottles actually shoot in the air?

I think that's the locker room, but they probably did. I left before I think things got real crazy.

Dude, and that coach, where did he coach before?

The guy for the Eagles.

Sirianni, I think it was with the Colts.

I think it was like an offensive coordinator, I think.

And how long has he been there for the Eagles? This is year three. Dude, two Super Bowl appearances, one win.
Yeah. They're going to have to stop talking shit.
Yeah, dude. Reed? Yeah.
He was an IUP guy. He coached at Indiana.
Yeah. Really? Yeah, I think there's like three guys on the staff that were from IUP.
That's crazy. Dude for him man that's gotta be crazy i liked watching when the gatorade got poured on him and you could tell he was like he was soaking wet with gatorade at one point he did like a little like kind of prayer thing it was just like oh yeah bro that's all they want bro week fucking after the end last season ended in complete disaster they were 10 and one and then lost every game yeah and then this year they started out two and two with some bad fucking losses and people were starting to really get on him and be like we're gonna have to fire him so like for the next like four weeks maybe five everyone's just waiting for him to lose one game and he would probably have been close you get fired that fucking fast yeah i guess if you have like yeah i guess there's a world of fucking coaches and you can just be like all right buddy get out especially because he inherited a very good team and went straight to the super bowl his first year and when coaches do that they usually don't get credit for that i got you that makes sense so he had had somewhat of a building year the year after that.
And then the year after was like, all right, let's see what he does. And they fucking exploded.
They were terrible. Yeah.
So then, yeah, he was on the hot seat a little. He's good.
He's the bro. Do you think there's a chance they'll go, they're the new Chiefs, that they'll go back and try to get it again? I do.
Yeah. I think there's a strong chance.
They get a lot of guys back. That's what I was going to say.
they don't know who they're they don't'll go they're the new chiefs that they'll go back and try to get it again i do yeah i think there's a strong chance they get a lot of guys back that's what they say they're not losing anybody are they they're gonna lose some some key defensive pieces okay but i hope maybe they won't lose them they're just up for free agency okay um contracts i think should be all right they might be the most hateable dynasty though philly becomes like a chiefs era chief It'd be the funniest dynasty of all time. Oh my God, dude.
It'd be all right. They might be the most hateable dynasty, though.
Philly becomes like a chiefs era, chief type dynasty. Oh, my God, dude.
It'd be the funniest. Philadelphia is going to look like fucking Aleppo.
Philadelphia is going to be bad, dude. They got to stop destroying the city.
I was jealous. I was jealous.
I mean, even being at the Super Bowl was obviously where you want to be. But Philly would have been fun.

So fun to be there.

Although, dude, I'm telling you, last time when I was there,

I was like right on Broad Street.

My house was like two blocks away.

It was too much, man.

I'm like just watching people to start wrecking shit.

I was just like, this is fucking annoying.

It was pissing me off.

They got to stop fucking breaking the city.

Sometimes you got to.

Dude, they were like flipping fucking cars. It's crazy.
How else are you going to make an omelet? That's true. You have to break a couple eggs here.
That's true. Although, I mean, that is just part and parcel, man.
Otherwise, yeah, you are just Chiefs fans just like, oh, we'll get them next year. Yeah, true.
You got to bleed. If you bleed green, you bleed green.
It is what it is. There's nothing we can do about it.
Well, the worst part is now they're like, now it's like, it's something that gets attention online. So now people are like, yes, we got to ramp this up even more.
I'm going to break a window. It's like, dude, don't do it.
I'm going to go viral committing a crime. It's going to be my face.
I'm going to share it. But yeah, that was, you know it but yeah that was uh you know i think that was i'll be excited to see what uh kendrick lamar does is he seems like he'll be pretty content to just kind of fade out and be like i won beat you he goes away for a while yeah i beat you most of the time that's gonna be it man it better not be that's kind of a fucking lame ass no that's beating the video game like i'm done bye sorry i'm fucking no no rematch that's it i called it no rematch uh yeah i don't know that's kind of like if you want to be the best ever if you're fucking yeah if your one thing is beating a guy in a rap battle and then going i'm done to be fair he did have he did have like a lot of people liked him i was always kind of loved kendrick come on i was always like man you know i didn't it just wasn't for me so good i mean he's great of course he's a super successful talented guy but it was just i was always like whatever and then uh but then i didn't realize he'd been away for so long and then i guess he came back he was summoned back and then it's cut for him that is sweet to be kind of chilling like i don't know then it's like oh yep yeah top of the game but it all happened dude it was funny because like little wayne was like remember when he him and nicki minaj were like yeah they were like the biggest and drake and well then drake was like yeah launched out of that but yeah maybe there's room for there's going to be a new the newest rappers to become the biggest they're gonna it's dude rap's so bad like I'm not trying to sound like an old guy It's literally like it's a minute and a half songs of just nonsense.
I can't understand I was I was watching videos of I never got to see the halftime performance Okay, I was I was making my way up to Trump dog sweet so sick But I didn't get to see before we just watched it right now now. And I was like, I was only seeing videos online of like old guys that were watching the Super Bowl getting filmed by their like grandkids that were like, what the hell is he saying? I don't know what the hell is going on.
Like, and I watched that thing. I was like, I haven't understood one word.
Yeah. And I know the songs.
Yeah. Yeah.
Dude, I don't know. know it wasn't uh i this is something i've been thinking about for a long time as like it again this i don't even it's like sounds like a very uncomfortable thing to even talk about but as like the country gets better in terms of race relations will black guys lose cool points and i i think it could just be me trying to fulfill my own theory, but I think it's happening.
I've had this theory for... Yeah.
Since the old test. Yeah, true.
This has been my working theory, and now I'm just sitting back and watching it play out. It's your theory of relativity.
It is, dude. You can't be...
And it's like I'm watching it, and I'm like, yeah, dude's not it's a it's not like the stuff of like a charged counterculture it's been fever pitch and then since then it's been kind of like yeah we're still doing this yeah but no that's that was that was a sense i got off that i'm like oh this is like you know like the revolution sponsored by pepsi yeah you're kind of like oh this has been so fucking watered down and extorted by politicians that now it's just kind of like, all right. It just has literally zero effect.
You watch it and you're like, oh, cool, man. So, and then, you know, again, we had our first taste of Indian guys wiling out.
It's like there's more of that to come. Yeah, it's almost time.
Ramaswamy Anakin's hard, dude. He fell into the lava.
It's almost time. But those boys are not.
Yeah, yeah.

There's more Ramaswamy's, bro.

There's a lot.

That dude, he just first made it on the land and swung his fucking story.

Yeah, that was D-Day.

He went first.

There's a lot more coming, dude.

No, dude.

No shortage.

I kind of like a lot of it, though.

The Indian bros.

The Indian bros?

Bro, been a fan.

Oh, yeah.

You got some day ones. Been a fan.
When you were gone, I interviewed Sagar from Breaking Points, and I tried to just get into Hinduism. Dude, they are not having it.
There's an iron wall. They are keeping white stoners out of Hinduism talk, dude.
I was like, what about it? He's like, I fucking hate when fucking white guys talk to me about Hinduism. Really? I'm like, that's a pretty cool religion, dude.
I mean, it's not just all about you guys. How come we're the only ones that get fucking crushed for shit like that? I don't know, dude.
Like, if an Indian guy came up and was like, tell me about Jesus Christ, I'd be like, bro, I'd be more than happy. What do you want to know? That's because we have a universal Catholic land.
We are built for everybody. Hinduism is like an ethnic religion.
It's not like... And he made a fair point.
He's like, dude, it's so, he's like, depending on like what area you live in, there's like a patron fucking, you know, they have their patron blue guy. They have their genie.
And then like, you know, it's all based on like, he's like, it's so hyper specific to like the area and where you're living. It's, you got to be born into it.
It's like, it's like Judaism in a way where you kind of have to be born into it otherwise people will be like they just take you as kind of a poser he kind of he kind of poser pauls me and i was like i just think it's cool like theoretically i think it's cool yeah why not you should be allowed to learn i mean he can't stop me from learning yeah but i was trying to i was trying to i just wanted to like i'm just interested in it as like a you know like how like growing up with that as like your backdrop and And he just shut it down. He was just like, I don't think when you grow up with it.
It's just like every eight or nine weeks, you and all your bros have to get sticks and swords and fight the Muslim guys with sticks and swords in the street. And then you call it a day and then you go, all right.
Buddy, buddy, buddy. Fuck you, buddy.
True. Have you ever seen their fucking stick and sword fights? They all have Ninja Turtle weapons, and they just fucking.
It's truly Lord of the Flies. It's fucking crazy, bro.
It's Lord of the Flies. It's nuts.
That's the same thing with the Sino-Indian border dispute. They have the same thing.
They have another stick. There's a whole other stick battlefront.
Yeah, they've been disputing the Chinese-Indian border for like decades. And every now and again, the Chinese dudes will mog them.
They'll be like, five feet to ours. They'll be like, get back.
Get back. They have the stick fight.
God, that's the funniest thing in the world. I'm sucking, hitting the fucking face with a stick.
And you got to give up like four feet of Mother India.

You're like, okay.

Coming back would be sick, though.

You get the bros, you're all horny as hell.

Fucking, although that's a horny V.

Horny battle.

That is the horniest fucking battle.

But yeah, rest assured, the Indian dudes will be back, dude. Yep.
I mean, Ramoswaswamy i still people spazzed and piled on him for that and it's like i get it like getting dressed down just being like no more fun white guys it's time to do math it's like i get it yeah but people were like deeply shocked and offended and it's like that that's the one that does make me laugh when you have all these people who are like you have like white Americans who are like some meritocracy. Sorry, everybody else.
We got to the top. And as soon as you talk about Indian guys coming in, you're like, we need some fucking legislation to keep.
Let's come on. Let's look at this here.
It is. That is kind of.
I mean, it's also it's kind of wimpy on some white people have been dying to be allowed to be racist. True.
That is like a diet a Diet Coke kind of racism. Yeah, they go, what about Indian people? And everyone goes, are we allowed? Are we allowed to do this? That was bottled up.
Yeah, true. Because, yeah, you really, the Indian guys, Ramaswamy did.
You're actually right on that. He caught, like, a suppressed tidal wave of just kind of, like, just, ethnocentric thoughts being like we're in a fucking people fucking spazzed on him he did here's the thing though he did court that he did court those guys he did so he he basically had his own little thing going and you know they just got him bro one one.
And they were like, fuck you. It's a dangerous world.

It is.

If you get into that fucking political clickbait shit.

Oh, yeah.

They're going to get you.

Left or right.

They're going to get you.

It's coming.

It's coming.

And it's so funny because it was like I could see him being like, this is a deeply inspiring.

And, dude, he could also be right.

That's because you're like, fuck you, dude, doesn't mean that's not just going to happen anyway wasn't he like no more sleepovers yeah time to study no more sleepovers no more he said less of one movie like think of like some like a rollerblading silly movie and like more i don't know what fucking movie he would propose for us to get our act together white guys got to pull their pants up white guys white guys's pants are up to here indy guys's pants are up to like their nipples so we might have to pull our pants all the way Indians are top of the pants where would you rank the Chinese they're close second they're close second or they can probably they probably go like every inch or every year they probably like they're it depends on how they're doing how many of them are doctors yeah like if they lose doctors and their pants drop a little bit but no you're not wrong about that indian indian waistline is the ribs we we've been top of the pops in terms of pants height now like you know we're getting told to pull our pants off and we're like hey buddy this is don't worry about our culture dude we got some shit going on this is family business dude don't worry about our pants it was so fucking funny but that's the question remains do white people need to pull their pants up because they could compete in a global marketplace which it just seems like we're in pants we got a fucking yanker pants we might have to pull our pants we thought we were getting by with our pants to our fucking waist sometimes you when the whites pull their pants up too high though. True.

Because those boys had some pretty high pants over in Deutschland. Kanye pulled his

pants up. Kanye pulled his pants up to the

moon.

Kanye's pants are in the fucking stratosphere.

Kanye pulled

his pants up too much.

Kanye, you gotta fucking pull your pants

down a little.

I didn't know he did a super bowl commercial first of all i didn't either and then i did you see it and then i checked his website it was literally just the swastika t-shirt hh3 or something bro he went fucking nuts it's been a good read Twitter page as long as it's read the twitter the twitter rants were pretty great cap sometimes you need to slap a bitch or something like that no he says i have for the record i have hit women and then the one of them was in all caps like you guys think i'm freaking out i'm actually over here chilling it's like bro you're tweeting in all caps you're not chilling unless he's on some like this is the new marketing wave i could see him go in like genius mode in his head being like this is just a new millennia dude he's like you know big i'm puppeting people through their nervous systems although he does see he has came out on the record but like dude i really don't like jews so he was he really clarified his yeah his feelings pretty hard so and he like seemed to chill a bit, and he just fired the engine back up. Chilled for nearly a year.
Yeah, then he was like, you know what, man? Sometimes you got to pop out and show. That's been a funny thing.
That's been a funny thing. And then there was a guy who he's like, I'm burning $25,000 worth of Yeezy shoes.
And it's like, first of all, dude, that's the most laughable. If you zoom out of that from another country, you're like, OK, this guy said he loves Hitler.
So now this guy is going to burn twenty five thousand dollars worth of sneakers. It's like, stop pretending you guys have problems, dude.
Yeah, that's like the dumb. It's like for real.
It's like embarrassing to watch that. Like, let's all unite and burn these seven hundred dollar sneakers.
It's like dude, what battle are you guys even fighting? Seems like you're trying to make it about you at that point. Yeah.
Hey, everyone. Dude, there's a blowtorch.
I'm about to go viral right now. With a blowtorch in a fire safe environment.
I need to go viral now. And then after the comments are said, it's like, you already gave him your money, dumbass.
He's paid he's paid bro i know how it could be securing a bag that no one on earth can see that's what i'm saying now once dude now that jim jones opened my eyes at the meta bag i wonder how his uh swastika t-shirt sold that's the day i've been told good really i'll check it out did you guys see the actual commercial though. It's pretty funny.
It's him just on his iPhone again and he's going, I blew all the money I was supposed to spend on the commercial on these new grills. So this is the commercial and then it just goes Yeezy.com or whatever.
And it's just him and like a dentist doing a front facing selfie video. Oh yeah.
Well apparently there's a connection with his dentist and the nitrous and shit oh yeah he might be gone off the night he might be gone off the galaxy yeah who knows i mean dude if you but then like if you zoom all the way out on it and it's obviously again he's like i get it if he's if he's like full-on swastikas i get why people are bristled by this other way it's prickling people for sure if you zoom out he might be on just some other shit of like we should really not worry about what anyone says but then it's like i don't know it could be a giant performance art piece that's my whole thing it seems like they took his site down 24 hours ago yeah i checked i tried to check it the other day. It was gone.

I had my shopping cart.

They were like, you have a notification.

Shit, I still have seven in my shopping cart.

I was getting one for everyone I know.

Gifts for the fam.

Of course.

My mom's birthday is coming up.

I figured I'd give her a Yeezy Swastika shirt.

Yeah, I want to get my mom a Swastika t-shirt.

It is funny because at any point he can just be like, guys, I'm so sorry.

I don't know what I was thinking.

Everybody, that's fine.

You're all right.

You're good, man.

You're the man.

You're the man.

He needs to drop an album.

The album has to be good.

It's going to be tough to make music with that lingering.

I mean, has anyone ever made Nazi rap?

No, I don't know. It's crazy.

He made a gospel album two years ago.

Now he's selling Hitler shirts.

It's fucking crazy, dude.

He might be just.

I think it's pretty.

But then how did he become a billionaire again?

Is that even didn't he get put out like Forbes list of like he's now has like three billion dollars again or something.

Maybe they unfroze all his fucking accounts uh true gotcha that's a cool dude here's what here's what look i don't give anyone business advice but if if you know your accounts get unfrozen last thing you want to do is do swastika i mean he's the funny thing is he was like he did all that got everything frozen and he was like all right i'm good i'm good sorry about that they go alright here's all your money back he said I'm I'm I'm

I'm

I'm

I'm

I'm

I'm

I'm

I'm

I'm

I'm

I'm

I'm

I'm good. I'm good.
Sorry about that. They go, all right, here's all your money back.
He said, fuck you guys. It's crazy.
It is. Still a goat.
Yeah. I mean, dude, it's still a goat, dude.
I'm sorry. He's his Twitter is funny as shit.
And he hasn't got kicked off of Twitter yet. Right.
I don't... Yeah, I don't think.
Well, dude, it does... I mean, again, it is like...
I totally get why people are upset, but it does beg the question, like, might we have to all become big boys and girls about words and just be like, okay, this guy's fucking popping off on some crazy shit. You know what I mean? But then again, it's like...
Are people so dumb that if you start doing that people will go up and just be like yeah fucking we are nazis yeah there's that there's that i think it is people are pretty fucking dumb so people could see the green light and be like okay for sure but they can also do that but that's also the green light to just also pop off on the internet for the most part. Yeah.
True. I don't know.
It's wild. It is a wild dude.
It's a tough one to comprehend. How did he even get that far? Well, I guess they can't really.
Maybe it's the most simple thing ever to comprehend. As soon as the guy said he loves Hitler, you go, shut up.
Exactly. Hitler was gay.
Yeah, true. No one's taking that angle.
Yeah, it's just weird. That's the thing I'm thing i'm gonna yeah i guess that's kind of what i'm saying it's like when i was listening to that hitler book every fucking day yeah listen to it you go this guy sucked dick yeah like there's this whole like thing online where they're like he was actually cool as fuck i don't know if you really look into it it's like he sucked yeah he was Yeah, he was a baby.
Really look into it. He was truly a baby.

He was, yeah.

Big time baby.

The wild, wild west.

The Nazi swastika is backwards from the original Hindu one.

Yeah.

And they say when you turn the swastika backwards from the original Hindu one, it's a sign of bad luck.

Certainly was.

He hexed himself.

Certainly was bad luck.

Yeah, dude, that's what happens.

He harnessed the power.

It was just too great.

Completely destroyed the man.

I actually have to whiz.

Yeah, whiz.

the himself certainly was bad luck dude that's what happens you harness the power it was just too great completely completely destroyed the man i actually have to whiz yeah whiz let's take our 90th break all right well let's go straight to the patreon bye goodbye