Ep 544 - Autophagy (feat. Chris O'Connor)
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Yo0o0o0o0o0o0o0. Another fambly ep but we got the kiss man here this week. Matt fasted for over 48hrs. Broke fast right before we started. Hot ass mf cast. Please enjoy. God Bless.
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Transcript
Speaker 1 Wow wow Wes
Speaker 1 Then you take them off when you get to the yeah sneakers on the beach depends how hot the sand is sauce as hell
Speaker 1 We going?
Speaker 1 We rolling oh my motherfucking god Christopher
Speaker 1 off of the wrong foot Huh?
Speaker 1 Nah, he thinks I'm mad at him.
Speaker 1 Sneakers on the beach.
Speaker 1 Sneakers on the beach is
Speaker 1 weird.
Speaker 1
Beezer's literally the only white guy I've ever seen. I bet.
Unless you're. I've seen my cousin.
My cousin Frank did it. Yeah.
Speaker 1 He wore sneakers on the beach. All of us as one video game cousin who would not go, who played video games at the beach the whole time and then come down at like 5 p.m.
Speaker 1 in sneakers and you'd be like, bro, what are you doing? You're not coming to the arcade with me, dude.
Speaker 1 That's the beast, dude.
Speaker 1 Yeah, sneakers on the beach. You're the sneakers on the beach, guys.
Speaker 1
Yeah, a lot of, you know, because I. That's so dumb.
How many times did you see that? It's not that I prefer it.
Speaker 1 When did you surprise go to the beach? It's not that I prefer it. When did you surprise go to the beach?
Speaker 1 I feel like the last time I was at the Dani Improv,
Speaker 1 I got surprised with the beach trip. I didn't really know how close it was going to be to the beach, so then I have sneakers on the beach.
Speaker 1
Don't you take me to the beach. I just got to get this in before you guys attack me.
I'm not yelling. You're yelling, dude.
I'm fucking yelling.
Speaker 1
And then I don't have sandals. I don't like have sandals a lot.
Yeah, but you take your shoes off, leave them at the top, and you roll your pant legs up and you walk on your bare feet in the beach.
Speaker 1 I mean, if I'm really missing the sand and it's a partly cloudy day, I'll do it. But if it's just the sun's been baking and you get there kind of late.
Speaker 1
You got sand in your shoes for the rest of your life. You are now.
I walk. I have a special walk.
Speaker 1 Dude, no, for real. If you're in a hot sand and you dig your feet under under the surface sand, you can get through.
Speaker 1 Yeah, when you go down to the beach in shoes, you have you're literally crushing the vibe for every single person enjoying the big oh, what the fuck is this guy doing here?
Speaker 1
It's so unwelcome. I'd try to make up for it with my other beach activities.
You know, I get right into the sand, I throw a ball in the right.
Speaker 1 You're good with frisbee, I'll do paddle ball, you know,
Speaker 1 you're good, yeah. But but get me down to the like the
Speaker 1 sand that the water is diet on this hill under that area. We'll die on every single fucking hill,
Speaker 1 any hill name a hill we've seen we've i've seen him die on the sand hill before this is the second sand related
Speaker 1 a hellish argument we can't talk sand dudes you gotta talk sand a con man has an intense relationship with sand
Speaker 1 i'm just saying not everyone who wears sneakers on the beach is an asshole
Speaker 1 i'm saying it's weird
Speaker 1
i'm just saying sometimes if they're white sometimes it's culturally acceptable to wear yeah black people don't like their bare feet on the ground. That's you have to respect it.
Is that real?
Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, dude. So they don't like the sand in between their toes.
Speaker 1
Not really. My wife doesn't like the sand.
I like it. Actually, angered me the first time she told me.
She's like, Yeah, just like, I don't like how it gets all over me.
Speaker 1 And I was just like, What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, why are you ruining the good thing? Yeah, why are you ruining the best? I love the beach. It's my favorite thing.
Speaker 1 She's like, I just don't sand makes me, it just feels gross on my feet. And I'm like, what the fuck, dude?
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1
Yeah. I take my kids away.
I'm like, don't listen to me.
Speaker 1
Trust me. But yeah, that's, yeah, that's something I've seen.
I mean, it's literally goes back to the Socks of the Water Park. Yeah.
That's why. That's why they're there, bro.
Speaker 1 It's not just, it's not like a fashion statement. It's like genuine phobia of just the ground
Speaker 1 instilled in them by a paranoid black mother.
Speaker 1
Swear to God. How do you fellas feel about it? You think it's microbes? Is it microbes getting in there? Socks at the water park, guys? You think it's, is it germs? Yeah.
It's germs.
Speaker 1 It's a germ-related thing?
Speaker 1
A little bit. Also, some water parks are just super shitty and and dirty.
Like, I've never been a socks in a water park guy, but you ever see those water socks? Like, they're made just for that.
Speaker 1 Aqua socks are pretty
Speaker 1 pretty big, honky.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Aqua socks are definitely the honks.
That's kind of sealing. His swag, honestly.
That is, for sure. I would see.
I don't think his army swag.
Speaker 1
Aqua socks? I don't think so. My whole family did it.
Really? Yeah. I've only ever seen you guys in Jordan socks.
Speaker 1
I believe you. I believe you, though.
Bonks aren't.
Speaker 1 Dude, I've only ever seen him in the the longest tube socks ever.
Speaker 1 For sure.
Speaker 1
Half flapping off the foot. Wife beater's on still.
Well, you got to keep the beater on. No, you don't.
It begun to see-through. It looks fucking crazy.
Speaker 1 Who just sees your wet nipples through the fucking
Speaker 1 weird?
Speaker 1
I got no defense for it. It just feels right.
It's immediately see-through.
Speaker 1 So, what, yeah, I remember I met my
Speaker 1 waves in a wife beater's nuts.
Speaker 1 Just popping it, just surfacing in a wave folder.
Speaker 1
Holy shit. At the bottom, the bottom gets all stretched out and baggy.
You guys swim like it's the 1920s.
Speaker 1 Everyone's in full suits.
Speaker 1 Dude, I just, I was figuring out that yesterday.
Speaker 1
It's crazy that white people made black people not be able to swim, and then you guys make fun of us. We did.
We didn't make that.
Speaker 1 You guys are blaming us for that.
Speaker 1
You guys literally poured acid in the pool, dude. When did that happen? Into Jim Crow.
Well, then. Bro, one or two things happened.
Speaker 1 That's like saying you guys make it so we can't go to gas stations. We still go.
Speaker 1 It's just a risk.
Speaker 1 But why would we acid our own pools? There was a couple of times where people were tossing it in. Some acid?
Speaker 1 They're like, ah, yeah.
Speaker 1 It's a white zoning pool.
Speaker 1
That wasn't like, there's a lot of people. That's kind of a common occurrence.
Yeah, there's lakes and shit, dude.
Speaker 1 we don't just swim in pools, dude.
Speaker 1
That's a fair point, though. But, you know, but again, it's like, I don't know.
I can't believe you tried to put not being able to swim on us.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 Although you could, you could.
Speaker 1
You could with urban, like, being forced into a city without pools. That's the one way you could do it.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 I'll take it. That is, that actually, I mean, you could, if you wanted to, find the root of all your problems with white people.
Speaker 1 You could.
Speaker 1
There is an argument. But swimming, come on, on, man.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
Still take the ferry. Ferry's not that bad.
Expensive. Take the ferry? Yeah.
To what? Like in New York, you take the subway. You take the subway all the way to Coney Island.
Speaker 1
Oh, you're saying to the beach. I was just talking like pools.
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's tough.
I thought you were saying instead of black people swimming, they could take ferries.
Speaker 1
I was like, well, yeah, we should have to do that. Of course.
We should have adopted the best. No, they can travel.
It's pretty close. Get the breeze in your hair.
There's probably some sand on there.
Speaker 1 Well, goddamn.
Speaker 1 I don't want to tread into kind of divisive racial
Speaker 1 stuff.
Speaker 1 Matt, why don't you tell us what's going on with you? Dude,
Speaker 1
you got to be. Talking about it.
You can't wait to tell us about it. First of all, before I get to my 60-relative, about 64-hour fast.
Speaker 1 Who swallowed the canary? He's ready to talk.
Speaker 1 Speaking of, well, speaking of semi-related to cats, did you, I just found this out today. Do you know rats can't fart?
Speaker 1
No, I never would have. Rats cannot fart.
We had an exterminator come to our house today, just routine treatment, and I told him about the cotton rats that invaded my garden.
Speaker 1 And he was like, oh, man, that sucks. And he came back with a bag of
Speaker 1
it, it was like baking soda, apparently, and it's like an attractant, some other kind of food. And he was like, Dude, put this in your back thing of the garden.
He's like, It's non-toxic.
Speaker 1
I mean, it's kind of like a million-dollar idea. I feel like the guy should patent it.
I don't know if other people do this, but it's rat poison.
Speaker 1
But instead of being like an actual poisonous substance, it's baking soda. But it takes advantage of the fact that rats can't fart.
So if they eat baking soda, they just get filled with gas.
Speaker 1
And since they can't fart, they explode. Like, literally, like a pigeon.
Like, like a seagull, but that's Alka-Seltzer. But yeah, rats can't.
And then
Speaker 1
the only thing is you might catch a rat with like its side blown out running across your grass. Oh, my God.
I would have never guessed that. Me either.
You'd think they'd be able to.
Speaker 1 You'd think they'd fart the most. Yeah.
Speaker 1
If you can poop, you can fart. But that's what you'd think.
Right? They can only shit, dude. They can only shit.
Farts are just an air poop. They're probably peeing while they're.
Speaker 1
I'm going to Google it after the guy said it. I didn't even Google it.
Dude, he's a fucking expert. I believe him.
That's what the man does.
Speaker 1
Chris bought me with the, if you can poop, you can fart idea. You can't.
That's the thing.
Speaker 1 That's like an imposable thumb. It's really just...
Speaker 1 Rats cannot fart.
Speaker 1 Yes, rats can fart. What?
Speaker 1 Fuck AI, dude.
Speaker 1 That sounds like it's...
Speaker 1 If you can pass a turd, you can pass a fart. One year ago.
Speaker 1
Mice do not. Mice don't fart.
Rats can, but mice cannot. Hmm.
Okay, so maybe he's thinking what I showed him is actually technically a mouse. Why? That's tricky, dude.
dude.
Speaker 1 Why can't that pass?
Speaker 1
So rats can fart. Rats can mice.
Yes, rats can pass gas. In fact, rats produce the most intestinal gas when fed dried skim milk.
What? Get some milk going out there.
Speaker 1
Let the boys turn your garden into a fucking fart there. Well, here's the thing.
This is the cotton rat looks more like a mouse than anything else.
Speaker 1 So maybe he, like, ID'd the species I gave him and was going, oh, that's like more of a, that's technically a mouse they refer to colloquially. Yeah, that looks like a mouse to me.
Speaker 1 Cotton rat, yeah, that's what I'm I'm saying.
Speaker 1
Nice coat on it. It's got a nice coat on.
I can see maybe the baking soda expands quickly in the stomach or something and blows them up. Yeah.
Okay, so
Speaker 1
it doesn't get correct. Sorry, spread misinfo.
Rats can fart. Mice cannot.
I believed you until Chris with the poop, but then it's still mice poop.
Speaker 1 Exactly. Mice poop, too.
Speaker 1
So mice can. A rat, a rat evolved from the mouse, and they literally were like.
That was. It's time to fart.
Yeah, it's not a fart.
Speaker 1 Sick of blowing the fuck up all the time out of nowhere thinking I'm just eating eating something for them. But yeah, dude.
Speaker 1 And that way, if your dog, my dog already got into rat poison once, so that way my dog ate that baking soda makes sure
Speaker 1
he's going to fart it out. You got to fart.
Because Jackson already was a farting dog. He's already heavily.
How much worse could it get? Exactly. So, so, yeah, I thought that was interesting.
Speaker 1
That's extremely interesting. So, there we go.
Mice can't fart. Rats can.
It's crazy. Is there a reason why? Is there anything about why they can't fart? How could you not be able to fight?
Speaker 1 Probably because of their teeny, tiny buttholes. Right?
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah.
Who knows? A rat has just a big enough butthole to blow out a fart. Whereas a mouse.
Speaker 1 Some mice can't fart. Yeah, it's true.
Speaker 1
But you'd think even just a mouse-sized poop of a fart. I had to get out there.
It's just got to be the way their bodies just. Mice can fart.
What? Mice can fart. Yeah.
Sean just said they can't.
Speaker 1
Yeah. We got to get ourselves the misconception that mice can't fart likely stems from the ideas that they can't burp or vomit to release gas, which is true.
This is also AI. AI is
Speaker 1
who knows? Could be wrong, but I'll let you know if any of them explode. So maybe they can fart.
I think any other, it says like any mammal, they can pass it. I think every mammal can fart.
Speaker 1 I can't believe they can't puke. How could you not puke? I feel like that's one of the most important things that bird thing can do.
Speaker 1
Stomach's just backwards. I don't know.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 I have no idea.
Speaker 1
But it's like if it goes in, the body's got to be able to, we don't, we can't process this. It's got to come out.
Yeah. It's actually a really terrible way to kill the guys, apparently.
Speaker 1 It just is extremely painful for the boys. Hey man, I know it's painful seeing all your arugula just go up
Speaker 1 after you fucking that hurts. I'm in an age-old battle, dude.
Speaker 1
Farmer versus Vermin. I don't want to hear that shit.
They're looking at him stabbing with a pitchfork. I forgot.
I forgot.
Speaker 1 You've had a lifetime of torturing these fuckers.
Speaker 1 This is nothing to you. I used to go out with my dad and blow up the voles.
Speaker 1 Smoke, put the smoke bomb. It'd be three holes, smoke bombs in two, and he would stand by the other hole with a nine millimeter and just fucking sock these things.
Speaker 1
Oh my god, yeah, I watched my dad shoot a duck one time. I saw his eyeball go flying.
Oh, no, not a duck, yeah, bro. He capped the duck.
Speaker 1
What was his duck? No, no, man. Oh, it was a fox fucked it up, and he was putting on his middle.
It was a mercy kill. Good.
He had to straight up capped the duck the one time.
Speaker 1 Yeah, bro. People were getting fucking plugged up, dude.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I've seen a lot. I've seen a lot of murder, man.
Speaker 1 A lot of animal murder.
Speaker 1
Yeah, interspecies murder. One time he squished him.
This actually stuck with me.
Speaker 1 We were in a barn and like a mouse ran into the corner of the barn and he just like took a work boot and just squished it. And I was like, oh, I was like a little kid.
Speaker 1 I was like, damn, that's so fucked up.
Speaker 1 I can see myself getting to that zone real quick.
Speaker 1
On a farm, on a farm. Dude.
My whole crap. Carrots, arugula, spinach, and I don't know what the other one was, maybe leeks.
Just decimated all of them. Like two days.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, imagine if you came out and the mouse was like fucking with your Xbox all the time. You'd smoke it with the
Speaker 1 every morning half your Xbox was eating and you kept having to plant shit on your controller.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 You'd have to kill them. Yeah, man.
Speaker 1 It'd be sad, but you'd be there. You'd have to, bro.
Speaker 1
You know, fucked. What's my family going to do if the shit hits the fan? I'm going to need half a pound of arugula.
Yeah, dude.
Speaker 1
I want to do potatoes. That's I want I was going to do the carrots to kind of test the soil and then hit it with potatoes.
I want to do stewed potatoes and garlic, something I use to get a lot.
Speaker 1
You got to get some tomatoes going, too. I don't really fuck with tomatoes.
Oh, they're so good.
Speaker 1
Dude, I don't know what it is. I'll eat salsa.
I like that. I'll eat tomato sauce.
If you give me a raw tomato, I've tried it. Fresh tomatoes are so good.
I've tried them so many times.
Speaker 1
They make me just want to throw up every time I try to bite a fresh tomato. I know a lot of people like them.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 What about the little ones? Cherry tomatoes?
Speaker 1 Don't like them either. I hate tomatoes, man.
Speaker 1
I can't stand it. My kids don't like eating them either.
And I'm always like, yeah, dude, you guys are fucking right. Those are suck.
Fuck ass tomatoes. Tomatoes taste like shit.
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Speaker 1 Even if I get a tomato chunk in my spaghetti sauce, I'll like
Speaker 1 take
Speaker 1
when I was a kid. I did not like tomatoes.
Yeah, bro. She made chili recently and she used like it's I'm such a psycho about it.
Speaker 1
If she makes spaghetti, I make her blend the sauce so there's no tomato chunks. Yeah, I get so skeeped out.
How about mushrooms?
Speaker 1 I don't like mushrooms.
Speaker 1 I will eat there.
Speaker 1
I've cooked lion's mane mushrooms. I like them.
But if button mushrooms come in my dish, I'll send it back. I don't like like regular mushrooms.
Speaker 1
Lion's mane mushrooms by themselves, if you fry them up, are actually pretty good. But other than that, I don't really fuck with that.
Actually, I had a little incident at a restaurant recently.
Speaker 1 I had to be like, bro, uh-huh.
Speaker 1
Get these motherfucking mushrooms. It was mushrooms.
Did you put them to the side or did you send the whole thing back?
Speaker 1
I explicitly, if I don't know there's mushrooms and I order them, I'll pick them out myself. But I explicitly was like, no mushrooms.
And they came out with the mush. And I was like, bruh.
Speaker 1 Just try to dose me, get these things out of here.
Speaker 1
Yeah, man. What y'all fools up to? I'm just thinking about your fast.
Oh, I do. I'd like to hear about it.
Yeah, just literally,
Speaker 1 so I was telling you, man, I think it's autophagy or autophagy. I don't know how you say it.
Speaker 1 If you don't eat for 24 hours, your body, first of all, you go into ketosis, so you're burning fat cells, you know, all that stuff.
Speaker 1
But after like, I think 24 hours of not eating any, I can't have anything. Yeah.
Your body goes into autophagy. So you start eating.
Speaker 1
Your body starts like finding like old cells or any like fucked up cells. I think even cancer cells.
And it just munches them. It starts just cleaning house of like anything in your body.
Speaker 1
That's just time to go. And I did like 60.
I think I did about like 60 hours of like a no food at all, just water and coffee.
Speaker 1 Dude, it's, I'm going to try to start doing it every Sunday, just 24 hours. Eat 5, 6 p.m.
Speaker 1 on Saturday, do you know, doing stand-up and then wake up that morning just black coffee, and all you got to do is make it to dinner time. It's not that hard to do 24 hours.
Speaker 1 It's getting awfully close to Judaism.
Speaker 1 Bro, whoa, whoa, whoa, what the fuck?
Speaker 1
I just don't want. Here's the thing, Chris.
I don't want to get old and have my kids be like, you didn't do everything you could to do to make it in the entertainment business.
Speaker 1 Why don't you pick up doing that? You know, I just want to do everything.
Speaker 1 True. Dad, what the fuck?
Speaker 1 You're Christian, like a dumbass?
Speaker 1 Well, I got to do it on my terms.
Speaker 1
Just slowly back in your way. Or, I mean, it's kind of Muslim too, man, to not eat until sundown.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
No, you should just hit Ramana. That's what I'm saying.
I actually might do a Ramadan. Just
Speaker 1
in the road. Ooh, that was nice.
See how it goes. I might.
Actually, I actually was always, when I went to the, remember the Green Eggs Cafe in Philadelphia? Come Ramadan.
Speaker 1
That was like a kind of like gentrified hipster breakfast place that got just like swarmed with black Muslims. Yeah.
The black Muslims found out about it.
Speaker 1
Every Ramadan would come in their gear and just shut it the fuck down. I was always like so jealous they had that.
Like not the breakfast place, but they had Ramadan. Yeah.
Speaker 1
I was always like, dude, I want that. I want like somebody to be taking me aside.
Is there no water though, too, during the day? I don't know.
Speaker 1
There's no way, dude, in Muslim countries, they do no water. I swear.
That's cat. That's turbid.
That's turbid. It ain't turbid.
That's turbid. It ain't turbid.
Speaker 1
I think you're not allowed to eat or drink while the sun's up. Really? I know.
They wake up early in the morning. They wake up before the sun comes up.
Yeah. And then you eat a big breakfast.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 But then...
Speaker 1
Yeah, you're not allowed to drink during the day. I didn't know that.
No water. I mean, unless you're sick or fucking traveling.
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, shit. I didn't know that.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
So the no water would really suck ass. Yeah.
It's also, you can do like a no water fast too. And like dry fasting, that fucks you up.
I've done 24 hours, no water whatsoever, and it's like, it's fuck.
Speaker 1
It's kind of, I don't really recommend it. Yeah.
Why'd you do that? I don't know. I would say it's like a similar thing.
It's like good for you just to dry out for a second.
Speaker 1
You do get kind of like cut too. If you go no water for 24 hours, you're...
It's as ripped as you can possibly get
Speaker 1
in that time frame. But dude, I did 60 hours of fasting.
I had a good like three days or so in autophagy. So, I'm like feeling pretty good.
Your mind, you get like, you do get like mental benefits.
Speaker 1
Yeah. Like, you're just calm.
You are like, you're a little tense from not eating, like, because it makes your body produce cortisol.
Speaker 1
But, like, dude, if they like, just say you're like in the kitchen with your wife first thing in the morning, you don't really love her attitude or whatever. Yeah.
She'll start.
Speaker 1 And like, you're just like, you're, it's like irritating you. She's talking to you, and you're going, autophagies, in complete control.
Speaker 1 Normally, the cells that would make me yell right now have been consumed by auto-vision.
Speaker 1
But there's something, it does something to your mind, and you're kind of able to like just kind of like bigger fish to fry. You're hungry as you can.
You're hungry as fuck. It's true.
Speaker 1
It's true. And you're like, how could you possibly be making me think about this? Like, I haven't eaten in two fucking days.
I'm starving.
Speaker 1 I support you doing your juice fast. Can you imagine if a woman did this?
Speaker 1
I was trying to talk to her about it. They can't do it.
They will kill you. They would for real.
Power too.
Speaker 1 I know.
Speaker 1 I'm not trying to have anything to eat in the house because of you, you motherfucker
Speaker 1 oh that shit i bought yeah you're right my bad for eating that
Speaker 1 all that shit you were gonna
Speaker 1 make stuff
Speaker 1 you mean my thing that i is mine that meal you would have left in the fridge for seven days and thrown it out yeah i'm sorry i ate that man my bad on day five i and it sounds like you didn't waver i would have wavered i would have wavered pretty quick dude i was making breakfast for the family in the morning So I was like two days in, 48 hours in, just frying.
Speaker 1
When you were making breakfast, you kind of like, goddamn, I'm in complete control. Yes, yeah.
I've, I've, I didn't, I made pancakes one time, and that like really fucked me up.
Speaker 1 You just want a bite, bro. You have to have a bite.
Speaker 1
You have to have a bite. I just want a bite, dude.
I got to test him to see if my recipe's still hitting it. A little bit of a battery.
Speaker 1 That doesn't count.
Speaker 1 You won't be an autophagy, but you could still be fully.
Speaker 1
You can have seven pancakes. It doesn't count.
You can have 18 pancakes. It's autophagy, keto, and then you know, you get back down to it.
But dude, I
Speaker 1 it was sick, man. I'm going to jack off.
Speaker 1
Did I jack off? Yeah, during the fast. I got caught jacking off.
Oh,
Speaker 1
did this lead to the hunger strike? No, no, no, no, no. I got caught like eight hours into the fast, jacking off of the shower.
Oh, no.
Speaker 1 You can't be hungry.
Speaker 1
I spun it, though. Yeah, you said it was a huge hungry.
Dude, I was just trying to be polite. I don't want to bother you.
I spun it into some AZZ.
Speaker 1 Spun
Speaker 1
wizardry, yeah. Yeah, just trying to be polite.
Didn't want to bother you. You're not allowed to eat the pussy.
Didn't, bro. You're fasting.
Speaker 1 You know, I'm a Muslim brother, bro. You know, I'm a Muslim brother.
Speaker 1 No.
Speaker 1 Nah, yeah, it was, it was, we were getting around that time
Speaker 1
that my Muslim brothers back in the day would have put her in her separate quarters, too. Yeah.
So she was, she was nearing that crucial time. It's crazy.
Speaker 1
Women spend half of their life pre-menopause or their period. Half their life, they're rocked from a period.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
Two weeks out of the month, bro. Mm-hmm.
It's crazy. Mm-hmm.
What are we doing with science, dude? I don't know. I think they have figured out a way to get it.
Speaker 1
Birth control, but that makes them weirder in another way. Yeah, yeah.
Makes them pick your price.
Speaker 1
They're kind of fucked, dude. Yeah.
Like, that book I'm reading about the girls disappearing and the men disappearing from the girls, it makes you like, it is a thing.
Speaker 1
Like, dude, it would be so sad if all the girls disappeared. That's the whole point.
It's like, it'd be so sad, even though, like, they're on some bullshit a lot of the time.
Speaker 1 Think about like year, year two.
Speaker 1 They do come out with the sex robots in the book, it's really funny.
Speaker 1
You too? Come on, man. Yeah, they'd be the sex robots came out pretty quickly.
You can pull, you can plug. This was written like the bottom line.
You can plug them into the wall, keep them hot.
Speaker 1 But if all the women disappeared, there would be, yeah, that Kennedy speech.
Speaker 1 Well, I choose to go to the moon.
Speaker 1 Well, I choose this as all goal.
Speaker 1 It would be,
Speaker 1 yeah. The speed at which sex robots would be
Speaker 1
up to speed is unbelievable. Yeah, we'd be like, Elon, stop with all the fucking spaceships and shit.
You need to stop anyway, dude. I'm true.
I'm fed up. Yeah.
Speaker 1
I'm sick of it, dude. King nerd, king autist.
Although, Kanye's claiming autism too now. It's kind of the power move.
If you're a billionaire, be like, oh, by the way, I'm autistic.
Speaker 1
So if I do like nothing. Kanye claimed autism when he first got in trouble.
Did he?
Speaker 1
He was a Jewish doctor. There was a clip during that time.
He's wearing like a ski mask and a bubble vest, just like, I don't know. I might be autistic.
Speaker 1 Yeah, bro.
Speaker 1
Or you got dinged up in that car accident, his head. Yeah, true.
I think it's his head from the car accident. That's fair.
That's a good point. CT.
Kind of got a little rowdy ever since then.
Speaker 1
That makes sense. But that was right when he got famous, too.
So yeah, it's hard to say. But it is a nice family.
Fame in a wild traumatic brain injury.
Speaker 1 That'll lead you to Hitler. True.
Speaker 1 Eventually you go, fucking Hitler. It's cool.
Speaker 1
Truly, the forbidden fruit. Bryce Mitchell, yeah, I saw Bryce Mitchell.
Bryce came out, yeah.
Speaker 1 It's so funny for me.
Speaker 1 It's embarrassing how, yeah.
Speaker 1
Yeah, that was an embarrassing. It's so funny for Dana White having to like corral a bunch of UFC fighters, press like releases.
It's so funny.
Speaker 1 Like, Dana, what do you think about the guy who thinks Hitler's cool? He's got to be like, which one are you talking about? I have, yeah, yeah. I have 10 of those guys fighting each other.
Speaker 1 Yeah, there's a lot of them.
Speaker 1 He was like, I.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I saw it. It was great.
He was like, he's the dumbest guy I've ever talked to.
Speaker 1
It's actually a nice fucking, that's a good thing to have your boss go out and be like, look, he's a fucking moron. I'm not going to fire him.
He's a dumbass.
Speaker 1 Yeah, he cares. I mean,
Speaker 1
he's a classic victim to a YouTube documentary. Watched it and was like, oh, my God, I'm the carrier of the truth.
I must.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, that clip started with, he's like, because I've done my own research, not what the government indoctrinated me with. It just happened to Dan Blazerian, didn't it? Blazerian's been on it.
Speaker 1 He's been on that?
Speaker 1
Israel Palestine kicked it off. Okay.
He's been real.
Speaker 1
Israel-Palestine took a nasty little turn for me last night. What happened? I was watching the live.
I watched the Netanyahu Trump press conference live. Yeah.
Speaker 1
You better get your boy in check, dude. What happened? Well, first of all, who's my boy? If you say Netanyahu, I'm going to flip the thing.
No, no, no.
Speaker 1 No.
Speaker 1 Certain to fast on Sundays. That's it.
Speaker 1 Is that enough?
Speaker 1 We're talking about your homeland. Fast is all.
Speaker 1 We're talking about your homeland.
Speaker 1
That's fair. That's fair.
That's fair. That is my leader, Dan Yahoo.
Like it or not.
Speaker 1 No, your boy Donnie T got a little.
Speaker 1 He said, we're going to just take over Gaza. Yeah.
Speaker 1
He was like, America's just going to take over Gaza, and we're going to make it really nice. We're going to make it the Riviere of the Mediterranean.
Oh, yeah. I saw some of the things that I saw.
Speaker 1
Oh, I guess the Rivieres on the Mediterranean. I saw the X.
I know what you mean, though. I saw the X about that.
No, I watched him say it. Really? Yeah.
Speaker 1
He was like, we're just going to take over Gaza. And it's going to be nice.
And they're like, what about all the people there? He's like, well, they're not going to be there.
Speaker 1 We're going to make them go to Jordan and Egypt.
Speaker 1
And then they can come back. It'll be nice.
It's like, hold up. What if it does kind of rule when they come back?
Speaker 1 Like, you come back.
Speaker 1 Just a Gravitron on the beach. Yeah.
Speaker 1 It is better.
Speaker 1
A couple slingshots. Standing there doing some soul searching.
Maybe it was air shipboard with this. And mini golf.
I agree.
Speaker 1 But
Speaker 1
it's still black with their socks. Yeah.
What the fuck is he talking about?
Speaker 1 No water socks. No.
Speaker 1
This is American territory now. Damn.
Also, too, it's Ramadan. You're on the water slide.
You got to keep your eyes on the floor. I think they swim in full fucking white pajamas.
I think so.
Speaker 1
Yeah. I think so.
Yeah, that's pretty wicked, man. Yeah, it's crazy.
You kick them off. And then, you know, because then it's like, you get down to like, well, who's like, he started it.
Speaker 1 It's like, well, you know, let's just assume you guys both committed sins.
Speaker 1 Being like, yo, we're going to make, it's funny to be like, we're going to, you know, essentially genocide and war and then be like but it's gonna be so sick when we're done it's gonna be so cool it's like he was he did he just has the most basic ideas that technically he's like we can't go back to what we're doing because it's not gonna work if we just go with the two-state solution right now it's gonna be a war again yeah and then i mean i don't know one cool but it was it was bad yeah i wish he didn't say that yep he's always been down trump's been down with israel since day one there's no yeah it's no fooling fooling.
Speaker 1
I don't think there's a politician in America that's not. Yeah.
Yeah. Other than
Speaker 1
Bernie. Bernie? No, Bernie's obviously sweet, sweet swag.
Bernie's obviously.
Speaker 1 He's conflicted. Yeah, it's just Omar, Omar, Illiant, whatever the lady's name is.
Speaker 1 The squad's anti-Kazio. Yeah, Kazio.
Speaker 1
But my, yeah, I don't know, man. I mean, here's the thing.
They have been fighting each other forever. It is none of my business.
Speaker 1
It's truly none of my business. That is my opinion.
It's none of my business. Stay out of this.
Speaker 1
It's none of my business. I'll never go there to either place.
So, you know. You don't know that yet.
I know. If Trump turns that thing around.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 True.
Speaker 1
Oh, like a Dubai cruise. You can go to Dubai and then there.
Damn, I can get my Instagram fucking turban chic shot.
Speaker 1
It is. Now, now this is all making sense.
It's a really small area and it could get it done. Yeah.
But, you know, it would.
Speaker 1
Where are they going to go, though? You have to displace two million people. Where are they going? Didn't they already like bomb that whole area, though? It killed a lot.
Yeah, the whole thing's
Speaker 1 nuts if all the tunnels turned into like cool
Speaker 1
Donkey Kong roller coasters. Shit.
Minecart roller coasters. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Subterranean log flume.
Speaker 1 See you like you see a light, like, help. You're like, whoa, shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1 You might hit some Jewish tunnels as well. True.
Speaker 1 I wonder if they ever bump into each other underground. Probably.
Speaker 1 These are our titles.
Speaker 1 Sleeve.
Speaker 1 There's cereal baking soda down there. Oh, my.
Speaker 1 Chris. Chris.
Speaker 1 Yo, Chris.
Speaker 1 I knew you were right wing when you grew that goatee, dude.
Speaker 1 I knew you were right wing.
Speaker 1 I'm sorry. I knew you were right wing.
Speaker 1 Yo, please.
Speaker 1 That's funny. Yo, that's hilarious.
Speaker 1
I will say it's not a good, it's not a good, if you're like part of a group that like has to travel secretly underground, it's not a good look. It isn't, no matter how you slice it.
The cartels,
Speaker 1
super Jews, and Muslims. Sometimes there's cool ones.
You get like French Resistance. Okay.
Occupied Germany. No, yeah, you're right.
You know what I mean? But for the most part, yeah.
Speaker 1 All I'm saying is it means you got a lot of drama going on. There's a lot of drama on the surface.
Speaker 1 If your drama is so intense that you can't be on the surface of the earth,
Speaker 1 you're in trouble.
Speaker 1 If the surface is too hot,
Speaker 1
you're going to have to go underground for a few minutes. Yeah, bro.
There's truly that much smoke. It sucks, dude.
The ops are everywhere.
Speaker 1 Yeah, true. Did Trump talk about how opi it was over there?
Speaker 1 He said it's been real opi outside.
Speaker 1
He said he checked the weather. It's getting real opi outside in Gaza.
Yeah, I mean, dude, my thing is, like, I get it. It's not right.
They went through and like, you know, they got attacked.
Speaker 1
That sucks. I'd be pissed.
If I was in Israel, I'd be like, fuck you. They attacked me.
Speaker 1 If someone tried to do like the takeaway the terrorist hunting permits after 9-11, you'd be like, get the fuck, get fucked, dude. Yeah.
Speaker 1
So I get that, but it's like, yeah, once you run up the score so hard, it's like, I mean, we kind of did it. We did this.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 I don't know if it was as concentrated, I don't know, wasn't there, but yeah, I don't think we were bombing civilians at such a high rate, yeah, true.
Speaker 1 Well, I mean, hopefully, we're at least trying not to do that, but yeah, dude, they're not. I just hope they stop it, dude.
Speaker 1
I hope the fucking you know, the resort, that's crazy to come out with it and be like, the resort's going to be so fucking sick. I know.
He was like, I mean, I don't want to be
Speaker 1 the wrong thing, but it's going to be so nice. Did he? He was like, Of course, the people, but also, it's going to be so nice, dude i watched the whole thing he's nuts
Speaker 1 i mean it's fun to watch if he's not talking about
Speaker 1 you know kind of a genocide yeah if he's not talking about ethnic cleansing it's really fun yeah
Speaker 1 i mean he might just be the ultimate optimist he's being really optimistic rose really rose tinning glass being like look guys i know this is sad you know you've seen the footage but yeah
Speaker 1 What was the plan for getting him out? By boat? He wouldn't really answer. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Because Jordan and Egypt both said they wouldn't take Palestinians. And he was like, I bet they will.
Speaker 1
So that was his answer for that. I mean, that's a fair point.
Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 Yeah, but dude, they're going to attack the park.
Speaker 1 They're going to attack the park.
Speaker 1 If you build a sick fucking park, they're going to attack the cool park. Yeah,
Speaker 1
the park's getting fucked up. I would not.
I'm not going to the six flags in Gaza. No.
Speaker 1 Getting attacked while you're on a roller coaster, not for me. Dude, you're just cooling in a lazy river.
Speaker 1
Peeing in a lazy river, dudes. Drunk, peeing in a lazy river.
Yeah, no, not happening. We'll see.
Speaker 1 Maybe they're thinking about like in 50 years or so.
Speaker 1
Yeah, it would take at least. Yeah, it would take forever.
Yeah. But I will say occupying a six-flag with your boys would be sick.
Taking it over.
Speaker 1
Fuck. Yeah, there's footage of that.
Like of when the Taliban came back, they got a hold of some... Remember that? They were riding duck boats and ponds and shit.
They were dancing. Yeah.
Speaker 1
They looked like a good time. AK-47s and duckboats.
They're like this little paddle. Yeah.
Speaker 1 They have a good time.
Speaker 1 We've left an amusement vacuum in the Middle East.
Speaker 1 Somebody awful is going to get on this ride.
Speaker 1 The games are frankly impossible, and I think they're rigged.
Speaker 1 Yeah, but he was talking about sending our boys over there. Ah, no.
Speaker 1
Can't do it. No.
What are we talking about? That's why the whole point of electing him is to not send our guys overseas. I know.
That'd be some day fucking 20. He's supposed to be a peacemaker, dude.
Speaker 1 I know Mexico now sending people to the border to like
Speaker 1
secure it. Yeah.
I mean, he's a peacemaker, but at his heart, he's a real estate developer, you know?
Speaker 1
That was the take I heard. You see a good piece of property.
That was the take I heard.
Speaker 1 It's for real what he's talking about. He's like, it's the best piece of property in the world.
Speaker 1 all the mistakes he made in atlantic city will be undone in the cases trip i mean he could
Speaker 1 for real there is that's the other part like i was like i was watching it and i was like no yeah don't say that you fucking idiot and then i went and floated in my pool i was like damn if he fucking gets peace in the middle east and a sick ass fucking like a scandal just and a thing that america owned like he was like we're not gonna give it up with something we can
Speaker 1
it's it would just be a territory or something. Hear me out.
Hold on. Now, if America steps in and goes, it's neither of yours.
All right. Well, no, that's for real.
What the plan is. Yeah.
Speaker 1 But seeing that you can't share right next to him, like,
Speaker 1
it's a bad sign. Yeah, it's definitely yours.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1
It's definitely not Apple. Just holding like a sex tape behind his back.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
Yeah, it's yours. Here's a video of you and a child we got at Epsilon's house.
Are you sure that's yours?
Speaker 1 And we're going to lease that off to you for a very reasonable rate.
Speaker 1
Yeah, dude. Dude, I.
Give me the Panama Canal, though. Give it back.
Yeah, that's ours. Gibbs.
Did you ever get into it?
Speaker 1 I could be wrong about this, but did you know like the Panama Canal, like apparently there was like people were just like machine gunned off of that land before that became a thing. That makes sense.
Speaker 1
I've heard it. That was like a ruthless one.
Yeah. Before we built it? Yeah.
Speaker 1
I think the Panamanians went in there and got a little rowdy on them. Yeah.
And they were like, thanks, fellas. Thanks, guys.
Speaker 1
Now our ships can go this way. Yeah.
Pretty ruthless. Yeah.
Speaker 1 You get 1% of every ship that you have to see.
Speaker 1
Thanks for committing an atrocity on our behalf. It needed to be done, though.
Could be wrong about that, but I've heard. I think Spud told me.
Spud was like, the Panama Canal was bloody. Yeah.
Speaker 1 And how many people died making it? Wasn't it didn't like everyone die? Yeah, they were all getting sick.
Speaker 1 I think there was a lot of malaria kind of stuff going on. I know they had to send a guy down to be like, all right, we're not doing anything until we get some tents with mosquito nets going.
Speaker 1
25 to 30,000 people. How many? 25 to 30,000.
Died making the canal? Yeah.
Speaker 1 Were they mostly Panamanian?
Speaker 1 Were they Panamaniacs?
Speaker 1 But
Speaker 1
what was the average savings on transporting goods? Oh, yeah. Chris.
Now we're talking money over human life.
Speaker 1 You know?
Speaker 1 Fair point.
Speaker 1 It's the nice idea to be like, oh, we should give it to to Panama. It's in their land or whatever.
Speaker 1
China just immediately took it over. As soon as we were like, Panama, you can have it.
Contracts straight to China. What? Yeah, bro.
That's some bullshit. There we go.
Give it back. We built it.
Yeah.
Speaker 1
Gulf of America and the American Canal. Gulf of America, which didn't sound as embarrassing until he was like, Gaza's ours, too.
You go,
Speaker 1 God damn it, dude. I thought you were just being funny.
Speaker 1 They really changed it. It is the Gulf of America.
Speaker 1 I mean, I guess that's just on our maps. Google Maps has to do.
Speaker 1
Google's going to do it. Yeah, true.
It makes literally no difference at all. Yeah, that's right.
Yeah, do you have to file like a formal?
Speaker 1 Is there like a document? I think he just signed to the probably on the desk where he, yeah.
Speaker 1 That's
Speaker 1 fucking funny. Next, didn't he sign like bills in an arena?
Speaker 1 I heard he did a thing in an arena where he signed bills in an arena, which is so fucking funny, dude.
Speaker 1 The marker comes down from the ceiling.
Speaker 1 Like a a boxing announcer.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
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That was unfortunate timing for the anti-DEI people. Oh, yeah.
Helicopter pilot. Yeah, dude.
Speaker 1 That was
Speaker 1
pretty. Well, dude, I was like talking about this yesterday.
So there was like drum side was like, well, you guys did all this DEI bullshit. That's why we have a helicopter crash into the plane.
Speaker 1 And they were like, well, Trump, allegedly, they're saying he disbanded the head of the FAA. And then like, that's why things are crashing.
Speaker 1 But I'm like, bro, you're telling me the guy, there's a multi-thousand-person organization that if you remove the president, planes start crashing. Like, how the fuck does that work?
Speaker 1
Yeah, that's not it. It makes no sense.
No, it definitely doesn't make sense. Yeah, it's like they're like, well, he did that, and it fucked everything up.
It's like, bro, please.
Speaker 1 That footage is weird, too. Bro, it's weird footage.
Speaker 1 And they were talking to him, right?
Speaker 1
Didn't they try to go ahead and get it? They went quiet for a while. Yeah.
Yeah. The helicopter was quiet.
I heard. I don't know if this is true.
Someone told me the helicopter was black ops.
Speaker 1
Like, not like trying to hit the plane. That's what it was saying.
But that was, like, part of a black op operation. You got to land the black helk and restart your head.
Speaker 1
The black helicopter checks out. I don't know.
Why would it be black ops? I don't know. They were just like running a drill of like how to transport.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1
Like, it was part of, like, a thing that wasn't, like, tapped in with the FAA. Yeah, that makes sense.
They were talking to him, though. I
Speaker 1
listened to the audio on Jones. And what was it? They were like, yo, what are you doing? They were just kind of like, hey.
Yeah. What are you doing?
Speaker 1 Like, four minutes before they hit, they were like, hey, you're. What the fuck are you doing? What are you doing? Yeah, they're like, the plane has has the right of way, you gotta chill.
Speaker 1
Yeah, how the fuck did that happen? And then the plane crashed in Philly. That was crazy, dude.
I had to fly that weekend. I was shitting myself.
I would fly the next day. I had to fly the next day.
Speaker 1 We were on a plane just going.
Speaker 1 If it goes down like that, though, those people didn't feel a fucking thing.
Speaker 1
That was a missile. They passed out in the sky for sure.
That thing was going fucking 9 million miles an hour. I actually saw a video of one of the guys like walking out on the fire.
Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, I saw that.
Speaker 1
Who? One of the guys from the ground. Philly.
Just got a bunch of people. No, he didn't survive the crash.
That was somebody. He crashed on.
Yeah, he got hit with the debris. Yeah.
Speaker 1 If that guy survived that plane crash and walked out,
Speaker 1
that's a superhero. Dude, beast.
You saw a superhero.
Speaker 1 Did you see how fast that thing went? Yeah, that was a bomb.
Speaker 1 It blew up in the air. It was going too fast.
Speaker 1 We finally found Unbreakable.
Speaker 1 I mean,
Speaker 1
no, everyone was way dead on that that plane. The fucking explosion was crazy.
Yeah, all that in one week was like, what the
Speaker 1
fuck? It was scary getting on a plane. And it was, it's crazy to be.
True, I took to the bottle on the flight back. I bet.
And it was a bad, bad Monday. Really? Great Sunday on the flight back.
Speaker 1
At least he didn't crash. True.
Fucking you get enough vodka up there. You go, yeah.
You're a fucker.
Speaker 1
He started manifesting a safe landing. He manifested a safe landing.
He just manifested a safe landing.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I was scared. I had to fly and do like connections, and it was just like four flights total on a weekend.
I was just like, bro, please, for the love of God. Yeah.
Feel a little turbulence.
Speaker 1
You go, yep, here it is. They got me.
Fuck. Fuck.
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Speaker 1
We saw some eagles. That was nice.
We took a bus from Seattle to Vancouver. We drove there or Vancouver to Seattle.
Saw like 10 bald eagles. Like an actual flock of bald eagles.
Yeah, it was awesome.
Speaker 1
It was pretty nice. Fucking sick.
I told my lady about it and she was like, oh, is this like when you you saw the drone? I was like, oof.
Speaker 1 You saw the drone with me. Are you telling me you were lying? Whoa.
Speaker 1 That's crazy. Yeah, it was funny.
Speaker 1
You saw the drone? I saw the drone. The drone was there.
It was a real drone. Yeah.
Yeah. I even called Chris a week later to go.
Speaker 1 Did you actually think it was a drone or were you just being nice to me when I said it was a drone? He was like, what the fuck are you talking about? I was like, all right.
Speaker 1
Just making sure you weren't just being nice. Because I've been running my mouth about this drone.
I've been sitting out in that fucking pool every night going. Oh, dude, it was not that far.
Speaker 1 If it was a jet, it would be like
Speaker 1 the water would be moving. Yeah, it was low.
Speaker 1 That is my dad's main affliction, though, is like thinky seeing birds of prey and being like, that's a hawk right up there. And it's just a fucking like transmitter on a power line.
Speaker 1 No, these were very clearly bald eagles. And thank God
Speaker 1
tons of witnesses. But you gotta watch as an old white guy.
You'll start hallucinating birds of birds.
Speaker 1 It happens to my dad all the time. It's so funny.
Speaker 1 That's a cooper tail hawk right there.
Speaker 1
It's a piece of metal on top of a power Powerline, dude. It's not a fucking hawk.
It's a crow.
Speaker 1 It's a crow. It's black.
Speaker 1 I will say turkey buzzards will get you, but some hawks. Turkey buzzards.
Speaker 1
I can spot a turkey buzzard. Yeah.
I can get those guys. I like the thing.
I just get tricked by the turkey buzzards all the time. The turkey vultures have those little tiny heads.
It's pretty easy.
Speaker 1
Big as hell, though. When they land, you get close to them.
They're normal. They're bigger than hawks.
They're too big.
Speaker 1 Way bigger.
Speaker 1 I'm good with hawks.
Speaker 1 How exciting is it, though, when you really see one? And then it lands. They were in my backyard every day in Westchester.
Speaker 1
There's like four of them that were in these trees right behind me. There was a big-ass owl.
What? That would hoot at night. Did you get full shot of the wingspan?
Speaker 1
Yeah. No, it's just kind of unnerving.
Dude, when I first moved here in Austin, I weirdly, like my second week, I was just taking a walk at nighttime and I saw this giant bird on this little fence.
Speaker 1
And I'm like, what the fuck is that? Dude, it was an owl. Spread its wings.
It was like four feet from me. I watched the full wingspan and it flew away.
And I was just like, I haven't seen it since.
Speaker 1
That's awesome. It was so fucking sick.
It's good luck. It was.
Do you ever see that thing where they like they have they record the audio of birds flying?
Speaker 1 No, just like across a room, and they're like that. You can hear them all, and then the owl flies, and it's just
Speaker 1
a whisper colour. I can't hear his wings.
Really? Yeah, it's pretty sick. There's an animal that lives on this roof that occasionally just sprints.
It sounds like it has two legs.
Speaker 1
It sounds like a guy sprints across the floor. It's a raccoon, probably.
It is huge. Dude, I had a raccoon on my roof.
Speaker 1
They sounds like a person on your roof, dude. And then it'll just stand still for three days.
And then three days, you've heard this fucking thing. It just sprints across the roof, dude.
Speaker 1 At nighttime during the daytime or nighttime? All time. Anytime, bro.
Speaker 1 He's got no clock. Because I had a raccoon on my roof, and that thing is.
Speaker 1 It would get active at nighttime. And it's like,
Speaker 1 I genuinely thought there was a human being on my roof.
Speaker 1
Put my head out of it. I know, I'd like to be able to see up there.
I want to see that guy. I'm going to need to get a drone.
Speaker 1
His days are numbered. There's no way he can do the summer on the rooftop.
He's sprinting up there. I think he just goes in that tree.
That kind of touches the roof. True.
Just kind of jumping up.
Speaker 1
He comes up here. He pulls out up there.
Yeah. Damn.
You've heard them sprint.
Speaker 1 He's fucking huge. He's going to, I'm the legs are going to come through the ceiling while he's
Speaker 1 going to be wearing shoes.
Speaker 1
Start giving him food and stuff. I'll toss some dogs up there, toss some hot dogs up there.
Toss some dogs, dude. Yeah.
See how many animals I can get living up there. Just keep throwing food off.
Speaker 1
I told you, I put that compost out too early without breaking it down enough. And I literally brought a world of rats and then stray cats into my garden.
It was fucking kind of sick.
Speaker 1 True, you got to get a cat.
Speaker 1
Dude, I have one that just walks around. I have a black cat, and it comes in my backyard.
Fuck that. It just haunts.
Speaker 1
My dogs can't catch it. Totally? No, she cannot catch it.
That cat can jump onto the top of the fence. It's like not even close.
But yeah, I have. That cat haunts the mice in my.
Speaker 1
Dude, we had something that was killing animals around this house. We would hear it all the time.
You remember that? Like in the middle of the night, you just goons. That's definitely raccoons.
Speaker 1 I thought it was possums. Raccoons
Speaker 1
have screaming matches at night. Do they really? Yeah.
I remember in Philly when I was living in West Philly, they would scream at each other on rooftops, brawl, scream.
Speaker 1 What?
Speaker 1
They were hooting and hollering. Yeah.
We identified. I was ready for it.
We got Isaac.
Speaker 1 I just brushes them off and pours them to the brim.
Speaker 1 This is Forrest Cump.
Speaker 1
I know. That's not me.
That's Tom X. That's not me.
Speaker 1 House Hampshire.
Speaker 1 He's doing good, dude. Good.
Speaker 1
Sickie said, he's been cleared of being a pedophile. People were calling him a pedophile for a while.
He's not. He's not.
Did I get caught off in the craze? Perhaps. It's like McCarthy is.
Speaker 1 I might have gotten caught in the craze.
Speaker 1 Not a pedophile.
Speaker 1 Not a pedophile. And maybe Oprah's not a bad.
Speaker 1
Turns out, Tom Hanks, not a pedophile. We're going not a pedophile.
Turns out, Oprah, perhaps not a pedophile either. We'll see.
Yeah, true. Yeah, that'll find out.
Speaker 1 They're still in the film room on Big Mike right now.
Speaker 1 They're still analyzing.
Speaker 1 Going to New York.
Speaker 1 They're going to the headquarters.
Speaker 1
Candace Owens just put out like a for real documentary or maybe produced it. I don't know.
I just saw something with, she was attached to it
Speaker 1
of Macron's wife being like, this is a dude. Like we're, I know we all like that one actually could be.
Yeah, I know, but it's funny. Either way,
Speaker 1 how much older? Wasn't it like his teacher? Yeah.
Speaker 1 She had time.
Speaker 1
She had a lot of time. She had time.
Fucking do what she needed to do. You ever take a look at Macron's wife?
Speaker 1
Not a good one. When I learned she was older, I kind of like researched her briefly, but then a guy fell into one of Candice Owens' videos.
Oh, yeah. They hooked her up.
He's like...
Speaker 1 Candice Owens is pushing hard that Macron's wife is indeed a guy.
Speaker 1 We all have fun with Big Mike, obviously.
Speaker 1 I could see Candace. I could see Candace also being.
Speaker 1
She's gone down a couple rabbit holes pretty hard. Never mind.
Macron's wife. What you think? Careful.
Time will tell.
Speaker 1 Well, we'll see. If I got tricked here, it could have happened to anybody.
Speaker 1 I mean, if the president of France got got tricked. For a geez, for a geez?
Speaker 1 Let me see.
Speaker 1
If the president of France... Actually, I have my phone right here.
Huh?
Speaker 1 What the fuck are you trying to say?
Speaker 1 Just look at her.
Speaker 1
I'm with Gardini. I think Casey.
Macron's wife looks like Candace Owens.
Speaker 1 Let me see this, bro.
Speaker 1 Yo, what if Macron's wife was Candace Owens? Macron's wife is 71.
Speaker 1
Whoa. Yeah.
Wait, how old is he? 50?
Speaker 1
Oh, shit. 47.
Yeah,
Speaker 1
he was his fucking like teacher when he was real young. He was like 12.
Very French. Very teaching.
Speaker 1 She was 39. He was 15.
Speaker 1 Whoa. I mean,
Speaker 1
yeah. True.
Kind of sick. I mean, to keep the thing going, kind of weird
Speaker 1 in school, sick. Although, if you're just tapping into that magical moment.
Speaker 1
Yeah, man. I mean, dude, look at, look, look.
Again, this is not my business either. If the guy's wife is a dude, that's their business.
And if not, that's a vicious rumor that needs to be stopped.
Speaker 1 What if she's a dude, but he just doesn't know?
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 Just 40 years of, I don't feel like it tonight.
Speaker 1 What the hell? Also very friendly. Although the fact that the teacher,
Speaker 1 you know, was romantic towards him. Wouldn't it like it doesn't that kind of throw a monkey wrench into the story?
Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like in the 70s, you're telling me in the 70s or whenever that was, there was a trans teacher in France that was like huffing the kids' birds, and nobody
Speaker 1 knew about that. That's what the movie 400 Blows is about.
Speaker 1 I know France is like a very romantic place, but it's like you think French romance.
Speaker 1
Trans teacher huffing on birds. She just hits you with one of those French accordions.
You're like, what the fuck's happening?
Speaker 1 He's so French.
Speaker 1
He was a minor. Macron has described it as a love often clandestine, often hidden, misunderstood by many before imposing itself.
That's so. What a sexy thing for you.
That's so French.
Speaker 1 That's not sexy.
Speaker 1 I hate fucking dudes being sexy.
Speaker 1 Fucking pisses me off of every time.
Speaker 1
He's not as funny as that sexy pair. He got molested.
He was a clandestine. 40-year-old lady when he was 20.
He did get molested when he was. That would turn you into a hopeless romantic.
Speaker 1 I've seen it go the other way, but yes.
Speaker 1 I've seen it go the other way a lot of times.
Speaker 1
Just the just the women to male student, obviously. The other one would be truly a tragedy.
That's not cool at all. It's more clandestine.
Not romantic. Not romantic.
Speaker 1
Those dudes are not that clandestine, man. They're just firing off heads.
So fucking willy-nilly. It's crazy.
Speaker 1
We were watching some catch a predator. You were watching Catchy Predator.
Throwback actions. See the clip I sent you where the guy was like, BB cream pie.
Don't talk about a bareback cream pie.
Speaker 1 It's like, bro.
Speaker 1
I think that is just like the absolute seventh level of hell at the bottom of a pornhole is just you're just talking to Chris Hanson. Like, how the fuck did I get here? Yeah.
You just go deep in.
Speaker 1 You can ask yourself.
Speaker 1 How did I get here?
Speaker 1 That is not my text message.
Speaker 1 That's not my beautiful text.
Speaker 1
I just remember one guy being crazy for the Nats. He was a nation's baseball fan.
His username was crazy for the Nats.
Speaker 1 And he's on there like, yeah, I'll fucking D-shape your pussy.
Speaker 1 Crazy.
Speaker 1
It's almost more embarrassing than the texts. Yeah.
Crazy.
Speaker 1 Is this your screen name? Crazy for the fucking Nationals.
Speaker 1 No. Did you text this kid? Yeah.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I did.
Speaker 1 That is not my fucking screen name. That's my brother's screen name, actually.
Speaker 1 It was me trying to have sex with a kid, but that's my brother's screen name. I try to clear the record.
Speaker 1
I wonder if the Nats have banned him from the stadium. I don't know.
They let Obama in.
Speaker 1 And he sucked.
Speaker 1 He seemed to have kept it of age.
Speaker 1
I think so. Yeah.
Barry. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I mean, for sure. The emails about hot dogs were weird.
True. I forgot about the hot dog emails.
That was nuts, dude. What's going on with the hot dogs, bro? It was hot dogs, walnuts.
Speaker 1
That was like, that was like... Prime Pizzagate cue stuff.
Yeah. I remember like just really, I had cue drops on my phone.
I'd be like, oh, oh, shit. It'd be like a picture of like a plain bathroom.
Speaker 1 I'd be like, what is going to go?
Speaker 1
What could this be? They had me on the line for a little bit. Then I was just like, I can't.
This stuff's too hard to follow. I don't know any senators' names.
Speaker 1
I didn't know any people were talking about it. No, John Podessa is going down to that.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 His aid. Good.
Speaker 1
Get him. I was just, I for real for a minute.
I truly did think that Hillary Clinton. Well, Podessa, I think that was a real one.
Speaker 1
Yeah, he's got, apparently, allegedly, he's got some weird artwork, but you never know. You know, you don't know what's.
The Pizzagate thing was hot dog orders, right?
Speaker 1 Well, well there was the pizza place itself which was like tied to something he was in war mode today about it the what they were fired off about they fired off about the pizza yeah they maintain pizzagate's never been debunked well the guy went in there with a gun right yeah and apparently he shot uh
Speaker 1 i don't know i don't know i'm getting it from war mode true shot like the his one shot went into the hard drive of the i don't
Speaker 1 really but i think that guy just got killed did he really i think yeah some cops rolled up on him, and they were like, oh, he's got a gun and executed him. What? Just a pile of hot dogs around him.
Speaker 1 Well, no, the email that supposedly got leaked was like, we're going to need, it was like walnuts were apparently little black boys. Hot dogs were like white kids.
Speaker 1
And there was like a term for like girls. And there was this weird email that was sent, allegedly, it could be fake.
But it's like, we need 60 walnuts and like 40 hot dogs.
Speaker 1
And then you tie into like the Hades. Yeah, people are like, oh, we love the hot dogs you guys have.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 It'd be like Ellen talking to like Diddy. Like, like, oh, when are we going to have another pizza party? Yeah,
Speaker 1 it's called a wild, it's called a Wild King night, by the way. Although Sandler was on one of those clips I saw saying
Speaker 1 they have the best pizza parties, and it's like, bro, I know the sandman's not involved. So they're just legit talking pizza parties.
Speaker 1
Could be them getting down to the night. It can't be the same man.
Zah's different. They could trick two guys.
They could bring the sandman in and go, we actually are having pizza parties.
Speaker 1
Talk about the pizza party. True.
Is there any footage of them actually having pizza parties at this pizza place? And are they the best pizza parties?
Speaker 1
I don't know. I don't know.
I feel like you kind of job. You have to pick up.
Our members have like a really good pizza party.
Speaker 1 If there's a pizza party, I'm leaving there.
Speaker 1
That's a good pizza party. That's a terrible pizza party.
Wait, so Sandman was at presidential pizza parties? Sandman, I think, I saw a clip of the Sandman.
Speaker 1 I think he was on Allen talking about how good the pizza parties were. Crazy.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1 It could be them eating pizza for sure. But there'd have to be others, there'd have to be like a piñata and some other thing to justify that type of excitement over a pizza party.
Speaker 1
True, there'd have to be DC doesn't have like the best pizza I imagine. It's not like a pizza hotspot.
I'm sure it's good. It's on the East Coast.
It's the East Coast seaboard.
Speaker 1
The fuck are they talking about pizza? I don't know, man. And hot dogs.
Hot dogs are sus. I know they're not eating dogs like that.
Nah. Although it is Chicago.
Obama.
Speaker 1 I'm talking about some good dogs.
Speaker 1 Obama's a fucking, he's definitely crushing dogs.
Speaker 1 I don't know yet. His chef's cooking up some dogs.
Speaker 1
I keep forgetting his gay chef died in the pool, in like a pond. Yeah.
Well, what?
Speaker 1 Obama's secret lover is gay chef died paddleboarding. Hold on.
Speaker 1
I don't want to radicalize any. any kids into right-wing extremism, dude.
Yeah, we are.
Speaker 1
This podcasting space, you know, we fucking ruined it. This is a platform, and it's very important.
We blew the election, dude. We fucking ruined it because we radicalized.
Speaker 1 Well, this is, we're bringing this up specifically to debunk.
Speaker 1
Yeah. It's going to be tough to debunk.
He's dating Jennifer Hennison now.
Speaker 1 That could just be.
Speaker 1
Is that confirmed? That's still. That's like the best thing I've heard come out about Obama.
It's been like war criminal
Speaker 1 gay chef murder, smoking crack. Yeah, there's that.
Speaker 1
The hot babe is the nicest rumor. I will say that I was.
I thought he was going to come out and really sway the election. Nobody gave a fuck.
It's because he did it wrong.
Speaker 1
He got in front of black people, like, come on, brothers. I know.
Yeah. Y'all ain't black if y'all ain't voting for Camala.
No, dude. He's like, we know that's not how you talk.
Speaker 1 Yeah, but Joe was probably like, dude, trust me, it works. Like, I talk black as hell.
Speaker 1 I know. Him coming out and being like, shit, is fucking
Speaker 1 fly suckers.
Speaker 1 That was not the move for the Obama.
Speaker 1 Obama,
Speaker 1 Yeah, he did.
Speaker 1 After that,
Speaker 1 he gave a good speech after that. He just gave like a nice speech that was kind of like his usual stuff of values, inspiring, all that stuff.
Speaker 1 Yeah, why he came out. He's like, I don't know what these.
Speaker 1 Were they getting data?
Speaker 1 Were they getting just constant interviews with black people and they were just like, when I'm voting for a woman?
Speaker 1 Why did he come out and say that?
Speaker 1
What a weird thing. I think they were polling black men and black men were like, fuck that.
It It was just like...
Speaker 1
That was right when it was coming. It was pretty clear that the black vote was starting to swing more towards Trump than it ever had.
Did they just make it up in their heads that they were
Speaker 1 polling?
Speaker 1 I mean, or you could get in an Uber and talk to a black guy. Yeah, true.
Speaker 1 Every single black guy I knew.
Speaker 1 Obama took an Uber to the speech. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I just got filled in on the deets. But no, they're probably doing polls and they were finding out.
And there's just, you watch them online. There's so many people like, man, fuck Kamala.
Trump.
Speaker 1
Trump, when we get bread. Yeah, I saw a lot of videos.
We got a lot of bread during Trump. It was just, and they're right.
The bread was flowing. The bread was flowing.
So, yeah.
Speaker 1 And Bama, he's like, well, if I can't do the bread, I don't have the bread. I didn't, you know, I don't have the track record of the bread, but I can do like racial shame.
Speaker 1 So that was like, they try to do that. Like, you're not, you know.
Speaker 1 That is, that's a powerful tool. I hate to say it, but that is a powerful tool for, yeah, I feel like black people in general to be like, bro, we're going to, we're going to just like
Speaker 1 take your fucking black essence and hide it from you.
Speaker 1
You can get ousted, bro. Republicans do a good job of that with men.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 You're voting for a fucking Democrat.
Speaker 1 What are you gay, you pussy?
Speaker 1
It's true. I might perpetrate that sometimes.
It's nice. I might be a perpetrator.
Speaker 1 You're a dude who voted Democrat?
Speaker 1 Seeing that? So embarrassing.
Speaker 1
Yeah, we'll see, man. We'll see what happens after his four.
This is his last four.
Speaker 1 Unless he puts in like Donnie Jr.
Speaker 1
He might. You never know.
Yeah. He might.
He's going to be geezed up at the end of this run. Yeah.
He might. He might go out.
Speaker 1
How old is he now? He's like 80, bro. He's probably 79.
He eats bad, too.
Speaker 1
He could go through now. He's at least 70.
In the wheelchair. He's 79.
Is he 79? I thought he, for some reason, I thought he was 80.
Speaker 1
78. Okay.
All right. He's.
Speaker 1 Damn. He's six years older than McCrone's wife.
Speaker 1 She.
Speaker 1
Well, dude, I think we. Yeah, let's roll to the motherfucking Patreon.
That's good stuff. Din, then, then, hard cliffhanger, dude.
We have some good topics.
Speaker 1 Din and
Speaker 1
a lot of good topics. I haven't even gotten into any of my topics.
Dude, I have a good one, bro. We're going to catch the raccoon on the roof.
I'm going to bring him in as our guest.
Speaker 1
It's a peach party tripod. talks up there.
We do have to talk a lot at Hell Let Loose. Oh, yeah.
We got to talk Hell Let Loose. Hell Let Loose is incredible.
Join us on the Patreon.