Ep 543 - Spyder's Web

The wild, wild, Wes.

Obviously, we're ready, Sean. Yo.
I was ready this morning, man. You should have called me at 6.30.
I woke up being like, I'm ready to fucking podcast. All I thought about today was podcasting.
Can't get enough. As soon as that red light comes on, we're on.
And we're here to talk cancel culture. I mean, I'm active right now.
I'm ready to punch over it. Are you ready to do it? Yeah.
I'm ready to throw the wands. I'm ready to throw the wands.
I'll throw a wands and twos. I can't stop watching videos about that white rapper who keeps saying the N-word.
He's like, I'm ready to punch on it. He's ready to punch over it.
If you even think someone's looking at him sideways, he's like, I'm ready to punch about it. I think that's the only way.
He's a giant man. That's how people seem to get away with saying the N-word.
There's certain guys out there, like the Puerto Ric yeah there's dirty white there's my punch over this they could punch over it but there are so i've met a couple dirty white boys who were just like casually not like like they're just casually drop the n-word in conversation i just be kind of like it kind of takes you out of the conversation a little a little bit it's a real it's a real delineator where you're like yeah shit they're like sussing me out they're like i think i could yeah it was kind of like one of those things where like yeah i'm not really about this life you guys are living typically any any any non-african-american saying the n-word is sussing you out when they say it i think so i mean they say it could be your uncle in the car and he says it you go see it's skull and bones uncle i'm not very comfortable with this. You should record them.

Yes. see it's skull and bones uncle i'm not very comfortable with this you should record him yeah it's a tough spot when someone else says the n-word yeah but yeah i mean he i mean the rap his name's jin lee by the way that's his rapper that's his rap yes jin lee and uh he's just like the problem was he stopped saying it because he like started getting some success and And he had people, managers being like, you've got to stop saying the N-word.
Yeah, that'll happen. He had managers like, yo, you've got to stop.
But he said his music was ass because he was like, it threw off my whole thing. Especially if you're rapping using the N-word and you take it away.
It's important. It's tough.
It's a key component to hip-hop. I i mean it's definitely useful yeah it's the bedrock but yeah so then he came back after the shit wasn't working he goes i'm gonna do it they're like no no no i'm gonna do it again now he's he's back on his bullshit john's will follow the same route go back on their bullshit he's just like when the pizza sales are down dude it ain't right i gotta go back to how i used to talk yeah john just has to be genuine john is pretty genuine he is doesn't he still live in a castle in kentucky dude obviously he's saying the n-word he lives in a castle i mean that's got to be crazy in a castle in kentucky with like a goblet just thinking about the time he said the n-word i mean imagine though because a lot of business heads are like really stoked on cursing.
That's like a high level CEO thing.

Because they're bad at it.

I don't give a fuck, guys. He was probably like, I'm about to take this shit to the next level.

It works though.

If you curse, if your boss swears, everyone's like, dude, my boss is so cool.

Oh, yeah.

He says like shit and fuck in the meetings in the morning.

He says fuck at work, dude.

It's so badass. It's like Wolf of Wall Street in there.
It's so cool. We were at a happy hour and he called our one co-worker.
Wow. Wow.
It was so awesome. It was so awesome.
He called the waitress, bitch. It was so fucking sick.
What happens when you're in an office? You're like in school forever, essentially. Yeah.
Like you can't say bad words. No bad words.
You can't say anything suggestive. It's like you're in school forever.
You can't dump for too long. They come looking for you.
Oh, yeah, true. Yeah.
You got to sign out for the bathroom. I was taking liberties with those dumps.
Bro. I was taking hour-long dumps.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
I mean, I've totally faked them. Oh, yeah.
I would just go read my would go read my kindle just sit up there and read taking a fake dump at work and just knowing you've like crushed clipped off 15 minutes yeah you were an hour hours hours i was hitting hours i was when i was working at that fucking factory i would just sleep yeah that's kind of nice i would just go hide in the locker room and sleep that's the best they. They hated me for it.
I always get so scared to sleep at work.

I've tried it.

I did it in an office.

There was one guy who wouldn't come in on a certain day, and I would go to his office.

It was all dark.

There was no lights on.

I would just lay in the corner and try to sleep.

That fucking rules, though.

But I'd be so fucking like...

Oh, yeah.

So jacked up.

If I get caught.

Yeah, I was worried about getting caught.

Sleeping at work.

If you can somehow pull it off, I mean, that's the ultimate...

The factory was easy to sleep at because the hours were... Yeah.
I was literally about getting caught. Sleeping at work.
If you can somehow pull it off, I mean, that's the ultimate. The factory was easy to sleep at because it was, the hours were.
Yeah. I was literally falling asleep.
Night shift is like people do sleep. Night shift ruled.
It's kind of accepted. I like night shift.
Yeah. It's kind of acceptable to be like, dude, I'm going to go fucking take an hour long nap.
Yeah. When I worked at an auto auction, I could pull off a nap in a car.
My job would be to go clean the cars. I would just find one far as fuck,

turn it on,

get the AC going.

Not clean a single car.

I actually slept at every job I've ever had.

I slept at,

I used to have to build furniture.

I worked at an outdoor place.

My job was,

they just put me in a warehouse

and were like,

assemble some furniture,

build one bed,

one bench,

sleep on it.

Yeah,

it's like a homeless guy.

Just fucking wake up five hours later

and be like,

oh shit.

Give it to the homeless guy.

I'm sorry. house and like assemble some furniture, build one bed, one bench, sleep on it.
I wake up five hours later and be like, Oh shit.

Give it the homeless guy.

Fuck.

I didn't build one.

Yeah.

That is the ultimate.

I mean, that's like the click remote of being able to just be like, I'm going to accelerate

time.

Let me just lose consciousness for a while.

Wake up.

I've never slept in an office.

It's tough. That's a tough one.
Yeah. It's tough.
it's tough to lay on the floor and business casual and take a nap here's like a sweater vest like i would have my friends come test drive cars that's cool that's a nice move you just leave for an hour go get lunch chill i didn't think about that yeah but yo i had him he was right he was right that guy was fucking tricky he just fucking laughed i don't know i didn't even get him yeah dude i had possibly so i went to laser tag for my birthday i didn't want to do anything bernie asked me what do you want to do i was like dude i just want to like eat like dinner and just go to sleep i'm like kind of you know she's like we're gonna do we're gonna do laser tag and i was like all right that actually might be kind of sick dude then i i made i i wouldn't i don't know if i'd call it a sleep. I'm like kind of, you know, she's like, we're going to do, we're going to do laser tag.
And I was like, all right,

that actually might be kind of sick.

Dude, then I made, I wouldn't,

I don't know if I'd call it a mistake, but I was like,

I'm going to get like really stoned

and just go to laser tag.

That'll be kind of fun.

Dude.

So I like, I sit in,

I ate a little edible and they,

before I went in there,

I just like smoked a joint in my car.

And I was like, all right.

I was in Vietnam, dude.

I wasn't.

You're smoking it out of the barrel of the shotgun.

I was, dude, I told her.

You had a shotgun, you had a lightning.

I told Brittany, I was like, I want to be in there like a Vietnamietnam vet just being like what the fuck what are we even doing here dude i got but i but the what i want the battle was great what really rocked me was pre-battle administrative stuff with the laser tag employees because i thought britney was going to handle all that we forgot the cake so i was like oh fuck so she was like on the phone trying to get someone to bring the cake to the laser the laser tag place which i had like a kid's party room which was the fuck it was so funny yeah said a little sequestered room with like purple chairs was it just you and your family or did you invite it was bros it was like la mer sean oh you guys went and played laser tag yeah oh it was dude it was also smoked weed beforehand yeah it was nom dude it was totally not it was now but i when i walked in there you guys let lamera go first like they did in vietnam they go you clear out the tunnels you're black you're a scout so it was like the bros some of the bros from the neighborhood and like so we all go but i was me and britney were like there first and she was like you talk to like set it all up i gotta figure out this the cake and I'm like pretty fucking high and it like I'm I don't know how to figure out a cake well I'm trying to figure out the rules of combat I'm trying to battle she's doing was it a teenager instructor it was like a maybe in their mid this is what bugged me out so I'm like very high Brittany's handling obviously the fucking the food yeah she's she's like that's like you know slop just rations for the soldiers and then it's like I got to figure out logistics. So I handling, obviously the fucking food.
Yeah. She's, she's like, that's like, you know,

slop is rations for the soldiers.

And then it's like,

I got to figure out logistics.

So I go in and I'm talking to this.

I mean,

maybe in her mid twenties or 30,

there's like just lady.

Too old to be instructing laser tech.

Well,

that's what I don't,

I didn't want to like sound shitty,

but I was so high.

Just the lady was talking to me.

I couldn't hear a word she was saying.

Cause I was like,

damn,

you work at laser.

Like trying to out,

not like in a condescending way,

but I was like,

I don't know. so high just the lady was talking to me i couldn't hear a word she was saying because i was like damn you work at laser tag like trying now not like in a condescending way but i was like fully the reality of working at laser tag as an adult exactly i was just being like completely untethered by to be like what the fuck dude and then in there it was a slow night it was monday night so in there's like laser tag and then like slash arcade i was just like taking in the whole ecosystem of being like who owns this place you two fucking work here at laser tag i was like damn this is crazy and then there was like like a couple double homes that but then there was like then there were these like you know in a casino you'll have like the real card sharks and like card counters.
There were like weird, like cat like nerds walking around just quietly by themselves, just pulling tickets out of machines. That's where I saw that video.
Yeah, dude. It was there.
Got lost. No, the king of the games.
We couldn't I searched all over for him. He was in Game Canada.

He went to Montreal.

Dude, you know the level of nerds,

like you'll just see them somewhere and they're just sitting like this?

There was like those levels of nerds.

They're always sitting like that.

Just sharking like fucking arcade games,

like devastating this fucking business.

Why do they sit like that?

I don't know, dude.

I bet you'd fucking sit like that.

You jack off like that.

You really do.

You said you did.

Yeah, back in the day, dude.

You might have

sized out of your

dork sitting.

You might have sized out of your dork sitting.

I can do a throwback dork sitting.

I always make friends with the dorks. Of course.
He's the king of the games. They can probably feel it.
There's probably disturbance in the laser tag. The king of the games is here.
The prophecy is fulfilled. I did get a lot of tickets.
I also stole a lot of tickets. It was a good job.
How do you steal tickets? You know. Me, I left them there.
Never mind. I was crushing basketball, and I got like a gazillion tickets, and I left them down.
I was like, there was a couple kids in there. I'm like, yeah, maybe the kids will take these tickets.
Nope. It was a 38-year-old man.
He got a sword. He got a foam sword.
Oh, yeah, he got a foam sword. We were driving home.
Added to the collection driving home yeah they got three swords now la mare and nate were in one car and gardini was in his and me and britney were behind them and we just see them those two pull up at a light and i just see fucking or it was like a getting on a highway and i just see la mare's sword come out of the window it was so funny dude the gameplay And we're going to go back to i'm going i gotta play again laser tag rules dude this is the biggest indoor laser tag place the one right uh what's it called down south blazer tag okay dude i'm not gonna it was the one with aliens on the yes yeah yeah yeah i drive past it all the time, and I'm like, oh, I need to get... That is the mothership.

Bro, I'm telling you, it's 10 times more fun than you...

That was the thing.

I was like, I got in there, I'm like, just standing there all high being like, what the

fuck, dude?

This is embarrassing.

Everyone's going to play laser tag for me.

And then I got in there, and I'm like, this is maybe the most fun I've had.

It's so fun.

Bro, and the fucking action of those things was good.

Some laser tag is kind of bullshit.

That's what I was going to ask.

These things were kind of precise, bro.

Is it a... Then I got in there and I'm like, this is maybe the most fun I've had.
It's so fun. Bro, and the fucking, the action of those things was good.
Some laser tag is kind of bullshit. These things were kind of precise, bro.
Was it two stories? Two stories, bro. Two levels.
Three, yeah. Could you, was it open on the third? Could you shoot down? Oh, yeah, bro.
Oh, that's the best. Bro, there was little cutouts you could kind of hide and snipe.
That's the best. You could storm it.
And there was three colored-coded teams. It was like red, blue, green.
And then you would have to run around, see someone's vest. You'd see your fucking allies.
Then you'd end up taking over a chunk of a base and just battling across. And I would try to storm the castle.
Dude, it was. Were you running? Yes.
I broke the rules. I was running.
I knew you were running. My name was.
I'm not worried. I'm going to talk to that woman.
Sliding. I was sliding.
You're not sliding, dude. Yes, I did.
This is a call of duty. There was a ramp.
There's like down ramps and shit. First of all, my name was Butt Stuff.
Is it you about to make your own name? This lady. You're describing exactly just a classic laser tag trip.
It doesn't change. Your funny name.
You get a little high. You go in.
You go, this is going to suck. It's the best dude the lady had to read the name she'd be like uh thick daddy uh butt stuff who was James tried to be 69 and she's like you can't be that so he's like I'll be thick daddy and I was like I'll take b-u-t-t-s-t-u-f-f and just walked away real quick.
Butt stuff. Yeah.
Yeah, LaMare, Spider. LaMare walks in late.
There's this whole group. It's probably like 18 people.
LaMare was like, LaMare, you got to give the lady a name. He just goes, is Spider taken yet? She's like, no, you're good.
He's like, yes. I can't believe Spider was available.
I know, right? That's a classic. That's how you go with it.

Spider's a classic.

What'd you go with, God Dog?

Nate was naughty and I was nicey.

That's not bad.

There was one point where I'm like, I'm like ducking.

You can like duck and come up these things.

And I would, you know, I'd see people over there.

And I like, I knew someone was like right around the corner.

So I like crawl up a ramp.

And then I jump slid out sideways. Max Payne.
It was just literally going, what the fuck are you doing? I was like, my bad. There's fucking ramp.
Oh, sorry. Yeah, dude, I was belly crawl.
Because you crawl on your belly, you're blocking the whole front. Crawl my belly, pop up.
And then my cousin was up high, hit me in the back of balls. I was like, dude, what the fuck? Damn.
Yeah, it was. It was.
We have to go back and do that again Dude it is I mean I couldn't believe I couldn't get over How fun that was Played two games Yeah it'd be awesome So sick Yeah you get sweaty We were all so sweaty I was Tranched The friends weren't as sweaty As us four Yeah And the pizza room Was so musty I could see James Dorking out in there James was sweaty Yeah we were all sweaty. It'd be fun to watch James fire a gun.
Yeah. I could see he's got dork feet.
You hit him and he goes, ah, ah, he got me. Yeah, he was Australian Special Forces in there, dude.
He was. He was.
That's exciting stuff, man. Yeah, it was pretty nasty.
It was Nate was onking around. It was pretty funny.
He was uh nate was getting nate was onking around he was pretty it was pretty funny he's onked up dude he was we're full of burritos too we just ate burritos who was farting in there that could have been anyone but spider has my spider is a culprit brittie was complaining about it she was like an otherworldly stint she was like I don't know who was farting in there It was a spider dude I had to fumigate that fucking room dude I had to get the cobwebs out Spider Fucking disgusting She ran right into a spider web dude She kept being like did you smell it in there I'm like she goes dude it was the worst smell it's the worst fart i've ever smelled and i said i had literally told her i was like i have a suspect but i don't want to be on there i have blazer tags most wanted I think it was Nate too we had the same food we had the same food I can see I can see the other T.O. getting involved you guys are doing bio yeah oh fuck these two fucking guys farting at laser tag sweaty as fuck it was it was truly it was fucking what a better way to ring in your fucking dirty than fucking all sorts of black birthday.
I like, I got back that night and I was just reflecting on my 39th birthday. Yeah, you're not a fucking 12 year old's birthday.
I skateboarded, I skateboarded all day and then I smoked weed about the laser day. That's fucking crazy.
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I was kind of bothered. Wait, the kids were there, right? No.
It was just adults. Oh, my God.
My kids could it. I would never put them in battle like that.
I thought for sure this was a family affair. No, this was an adult, just adults, adults only.
Was it growing? But there was definitely just little kids in there with you playing. It was no, it was private.
Oh, it was private. We didn't rent the whole thing out, but it was our group.
And then there was another group between ours. We got like a 15 minute break and then our group went back in.
that's awesome yeah no little kid i mean i wouldn't mind some little i didn't i didn't like it the cannon fodder bothered me especially those little fuckers run around and they'll just walk up to you and just well keep shooting you go fucking come on man the cool thing is so you get hit you go out you can't be hit for six seconds until you come back to like your your gun makes noise um so that was like yeah if you got hit you're out you couldn't get hit again but there was also these big power-up detonators that like if it would be like three two if you hit it in time you get like your gun would get like contra like super ammo or you have like an ammo count it's kind of nuts but yeah there was a lot you could get like there was like landmines around you like if they went off near you you just was pretty sick. Laser tag, man, it was even better than I remembered.
I gave it literally my all. First game was a learning curve.
I had to figure out a couple things about gameplay. Second game, I was ripping, dude.
It was fun. You have rank, you come out, you see your stats.
I mean, it's literally called... Who was number one?

Gardog, you're claiming you were number one?

I was number two, but Tootsie Roll was number one, and he was on my team.

Tootsie Roll was Rhett.

What?

I believe number one of the first game was Rhett.

No, that was Mystique.

Mystique, yes.

I took sixth in the first game, second in the second game.

You got ninth?

That's pretty good. I got like 11th and then eighth.
But here's the thing. I got hit a lot.
You thought GuardDog was the best? I'm pretty good at laser two. Well, the one thing I don't like, they do kind of reward cowardice in battle.
Yeah. I wasn't being cowardly.
Yeah. I was moving.
That's just the right thing. I mean, that was good.
But I was storming cast i mean that was that was good but i was storming

castles i was going in but i was getting hit a lot and i'm just kidding i'm not fucking with your i'm not playing with your game i'm not messing with your game you had some cowardice but that's fine no i wasn't you're a tactician i i was you know i was tactical i have a question for spider when were these farts happening was it during the game or where was this the farts Was it in the cake room?

Yeah.

Every time I...

No way it was in the cake room.

It was after I got killed. During the game? Or where was this? The farts? Was it in the cake room? Yeah.

Every time I... No way it was in the cake room.

It was after I got killed.

Every time I got killed, I was like, okay.

Not every time.

And then your body would relax.

Yeah.

People are going to go away, you know?

It was like the death rattle.

Yeah.

You got killed, you would just release.

Yeah.

I would go in the corners.

So it was in the game.

Yeah, it was definitely in the game.

So like during the game, players were walking around. They hit your fart and be like, oh.
Yeah, dude. And this was a big place.
Like, dude. I mean, there was literally a three-level walk-up ramp.
Yeah. I mean, if he's hitting farts, that's basically an outside fart.
Yeah, exactly. Although I'm sure laser-tagged fog doesn't help.
That's probably. It probably traps the fog and guardian i'm just kidding you didn't you wouldn't play like you fought bravely and you fought well i'm just being jealous we didn't know you take it so fucking serious man you guys have been experiencing fifth sixth grade level fun wrestling was fun yeah oh shit yeah how was that it was awesome fuck i got a compliment from a diva.
What? Yeah, you did get a compliment from a diva and I didn't like that. She said she liked my glasses.
She liked her glasses? I wish she looked at the eyes behind the glasses. What was her name? Liv Morgan.
Liv Morgan. Damn.
That was a tough one. Liv Morgan was just...
Yeah, the only thing. She just came by, said hi for a second.
She was like, I like your glasses to him. And I was just...

I wish Liv Morgan said something nice to me.

You should have stunted her.

I should have...

Oh, my God, Shane Gillis is freaking into the thing.

Shane Gillis is smacking a diva.

Oh, my God.

I could have smacked a diva.

They were like, are you getting in the ring?

I was like, no.

I'll fuck my knee off.

I'll blow a fucking knee out and smack that.

I think only if I win.

Yeah. Yeah, that's got to be the height of fucking knee out and smack that.
Only if I win. Yeah.

Yeah, that's got to be the height of it.

Matt McConaughey, that was intense.

Was he there too?

Yeah, he was.

And he, like, right when we got there, he got there at the same time.

And we were backstage and he was like, what's up, man?

Just got, like, directly in my face.

He was like, how you doing?

I was like, holy shit.

He was awesome, though. I heard he's the man.
Yeah, he was as cool as it gets. Damn.
Got to hang out with him during the fights. Sick.
It was awesome. That's awesome.
That'd be tight. I mean, everyone wants to have McConaughey energy just rub off of them.
It was awesome. It's just like looking at people in the eye and like, ah.
It's just like, fuck, dude. You fucking little dude.
How you doing, man? You're so fucking cool. His cowboy hat kept bumping into me.
was that close He's a close guy That's so sick He's an intense guy Yeah it was so sick What was your favorite Part of the wrestling You guys got on the Suck it cam That was awesome We did get on the Suck it cam Suck it cam ruled I thought McConaughey Would be like shorter He's like No he's a big guy Yeah Yeah And then Sean gave me Fucking bunny ears on my big moment. Yo.
What the fuck? I was just having fun. Damn, after the diva fucking.
Was that after the diva told you? I thought I could get him. I spent the rest of the night pretending to be angry.
Yeah, he didn't fall for it once. I spent the rest of the night going like, dude, that's actually kind of like fucked up.
And he didn't fall for my trick. Usually you fall for those.
Usually I can get you. Well, I overheard you talking to somebody else.
You heard me reveal my plan? He thinks I'm actually mad at him, so I'm going to pretend like I'm mad at him. Fuck.
I probably wasn't too secretive. I'd had a couple drinks.
I was going to say, he fucking thinks I'm mad. He's a loud drunk with with me.
Just a loud drunk with me. It was the best night of my life.
That was a really fucking great night. Fluffy was there? It was pretty nice.
Yo, how about that Fluffy pop? Yeah. That was a humbling experience.
Yeah, Gabriel Glacier, the comedian. Oh, okay.
I was thinking Fluffy the wrestler. They put me on a jumbotron.
It was like, yeah. They put Fluffy on it.
It was like, ah. That is a heavy lad activity, though.
It is a heavy lad activity. So not taken away.
No, especially in Austin, Texas. That was mostly lads.
There were a ton of fucking lads there. Yeah.
Yeah, dude. They fucking invented fake wrestling.
It's luchadores.

Yeah, luchadores, dude.

I mean, yeah, that is the best.

Wrestling does have the best fan base.

I do like that.

Everyone's just having fun.

White, black, downs.

Oh, yeah.

Everyone.

Dude, that kid was up front, bro.

He was up front of his life.

He was.

He got a turnbuckle.

He did get Matthew McConaughey threw him a turnbuckle.

That's as cool as it gets.

That should be, the WWE should change their slogan to,

let's get retarded in here.

Like, this is real.

It's like.

It's awesome.

Thank you. It was awesome.
That is awesome, man. It was great it was exciting stuff the lady match lady match was actually good maybe the best match of the night that was a wild match i loved it that they they were like do you guys want to see they all started fighting and they were like do you guys want to see this at a later date and everyone was like no they're like how about right now and they're like all right it right now.
It was like, no way. They're doing it right now.
They're going to do it right now. That would be crazy.
You're like, yeah, actually, I'd like to see this in like two weeks. Yeah, I'd like to prepare mentally.
I'd like to look into the storylines a little. No, there's not enough time to prepare.
Maybe a week or so. Everyone was awesome.
Miz, Rhodes, Strowman, they were all. They're holding the belt, dude.
We got to hold the real belt, dude. Goddamn, dude.
That was one reality show when I used to watch reality shows with my ex. That was one I liked, the Divas show.
Yeah, they were like, I kind of liked that. Usually you watch kind of reality shows like Vanderpump Rules.
You'd be like, this is just... I'd watch Divas and I'd be like, these seem like good down-to-earth people.
These are good Divas. These are good Divas.
The bros, just pro wrestler boyfriends, just being kind of supportive. Yeah.
I totally support you, man. Who's the big Diva that shook my hand? Nia Jax.
Nia Jax. She did great.
I was cheering for her. What? She's the Rock's cousin.
It's the Rock's cousin? Yeah. Yeah, she was awesome.
Yeah, Bloodline. She's Bloodline.
She's part of the Bloodline? Yeah, but the ones out for the Bloodline.

Does The Rock ever go back to anything like that?

Yeah, he's the final boss now.

Is he really?

Yeah.

What's up with Vince McMahon's freaky ass?

What's he up with?

He's settled out of court.

Oh, so he's just chilling out.

Yeah, he's just chilling.

They got to bring him back.

I was saying they got to fake execute him in the ring. Give him the guillotine.
Yeah. Put him in the Undertaker casket for, like, a weekend.
See if he comes out and just kind of, like, trad straightens out his weird sexual things. They did it at the ultimate.
It worked on the Ultimate Warrior. What did they do? They just put him in the casket and he chilled? You remember they put him in the casket? the undertaker put the ultimate warrior in a casket he was never the same oh back in like 94 they put the ultimate warrior in the casket for like a weekend he came out he was bro he was fucked that's not good he was i remember being little and just being like holy fuck they changed the water they'll never be the fucking same was it a buried alive match or something like that i think they just like they just snagged live match Buried alive match would get you Maybe it was a buried alive As a kid you'd go He's dead He's done They just fucking buried him in the arena You really think you watched a guy die And you're like What the fuck I gotta go to school tomorrow He buried him alive Buried John Michaels in front of everyone What the Damn, what about the guy who died?

Didn't the guy for real die?

Yeah, Owen Hart.

Owen Hart.

Yeah.

Blue Mini fell.

He died like at the place.

Yeah, he landed on a fucking turnbuckle.

Blue Blazer.

Blue Mini's ECW.

Blue Blazer?

Blue Blazer, yeah.

Blue Blazer.

Were you watching that match, Lamer?

Or was that like...

You don't see it happen. Okay, so they edited it out.
Yeah. But people in the arena were like, ooh.
Yeah. Did they continue on with it? Yeah.
Yeah, they continued. They thought he was alive because he stood up and then fell.
Oh, he stood up? Yeah, well, he fell and went, and then, yeah. Oh, shit.
Yeah. Yeah, they just did the rest of the show after that.
I mean, you really can't stop it. That would be a vibe crusher.
This is a vibe crusher, dude. Ultimate vibe crusher.
For real. Dude, Ray Mysterio killed a guy.
Well, he didn't kill a guy. He hit him with a...
You know the 619 where it starts with a toe drop to the rope? He did that to the guy and the guy flopped dead onto the rope. What? Yeah.
How'd he die? Contusions or something. I think he had a heart attack.
It's all... I don't know.
But he died there. Wait, hold on.
He got kicked in the neck and he died? No. Well, yeah.
The 619, he does a toe hold where it's like he grabs his foot and you flip him to the ground and then his neck. When they're laying like facing out of the ring.
Like a stepmom, they're stuck. Yeah.
They could move, but they're stuck. Stuck through the turnbuckle.
They just have their arms like this and their head, like their neck is on the rope facing out. Then he runs around and grabs it and kicks them back in.
Yeah. And it just right spot, like a pressure point.
Got him. Yeah.
Damn. Yeah, Raven Sear finished the move.
He didn't know. Warrior's death.
Yeah. Was this recently? Maybe like 2019? Yeah.
That's pretty recent. Yeah.
Dang. So what happens? What's a mega fan like you do when a wrestler dies in the ring?

What do you mean?

How do you process that?

He died the way he would, you know?

It's like a good way to, I don't know.

I don't know if it's like a bad way to go, but like, you know.

I disagree.

I think dying in front of people sucks.

That blows, dude.

I know.

I don't want anyone to see me die, dude. I know.

I don't want anyone to see me die.

Yeah.

I don't mean to say

you fucking out

in front of everyone.

It's totally embarrassing.

I didn't mean to say

Ramis Tiro killed that guy,

but.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We know what you meant.

Well,

I didn't know.

Yeah,

I thought it was just

that one guy who died.

It was a shame.

More people died.

How about that?

And then, and then no one ever

talks about all those

pussies Vince McMahon

fucking straight up

killed dude after that.

Damn.

Hell yeah.

Yeah, it was awesome.

That was a fun time.

Nice, man.

Triple H breezed by us.

He walked behind us

real quick.

Triple H was there?

Yeah.

Oh, that would have been cool to see. Isn't he the president? Yeah he's the boss now That would have been neat to see So who's in charge The Rock or Triple H? Triple H is in charge of wrestling The Rock is in charge of TKO Which is a company that owns UFC and WWE Damn he owns that? Yeah.
Shareholder, shareholder.

I think he's a storyline owner.

I could be wrong.

I have no idea.

He's got that fucking Moana money.

Yeah, true.

And Moana 2 money, dude.

And Jumanji.

Shit.

Yeah.

Yeah, he's cake.

Rock is.

And fucking Fast and Furious.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

He's got an FF catch. Yeah.
Yeah, the Rock is loaded. Fast and Furious money is like...
That's where it's at. Yeah.
Dude, hear me out, dude. What if you start a new Fast and Furious franchise, but just take a different vehicle? What are you thinking? Lime scooters? Jailbroke lime scooters? That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, you got to think of something cool you can pass pass underneath like a truck that's all you need is one one cool lane switch to set off the whole 10 movie franchise that was big that was that was i was done after that i was like yep sign me up for 14 more of these things yep they haven't gone in space yet have they yeah fast and furious in space they launched uh ludicrous and tyrese into outer space in a car i'm not fucking joking they launched ludicrous in a car in outer space did they i gotta ask did they ride dirty into outer space they did i have no idea i didn't see the movie i just saw that clip that's gotta be i mean dude what it's gotta feel crazy when you're like your 10th movie in and you're just like you're just you know it's like a trope and a cliche to like all right we gotta go to space now and it's being like it's got to be actually kind of a sweet moment we're like dude we've made literally so much money we have to go to space yeah we're taking the franchise on this planet for us we're taking the franchise into space and you're like clings glasses, and like, dude, our descendants will never have to work. We've taken a movie franchise into space.
Now we have a billion dollars. It's time for my favorite part and yours of the show.
That's a dumbass way to write that. It's time for my favorite part and yours of the show.
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Thanks for calling it iconic. Yeah, miss.
They also got that other stuff, bro. Here, you can get the next one.
I know. Heavy pause on the last paragraph.
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I like that. Big scores and obviously big buckets of brewskis.
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Price picks run your game. Must be present.
Certain states for his price, right? Stock conference restrictions, details Pricepicks You better knock it off dude Give us regular fucking scripts Thank you Oh I have to do Please come to Dania Beach Florida That's a big one Dania Beach Florida I'll be there next weekend I believe And the bang bus guy And the bang And the Bang Bus-a. Oh, yeah, I talked about that.
Big Bucket of Brewski with the Bang Bus. Bang Bus-a, don't come get me.
The Funny Bone, Columbus, Ohio, February 21st, Comedy Castle, Royal Oaks. The Funny Bone, Omaha, Nebraska, Laugh Out Loud, San Antone, Cobb's Comedy.
And Sacramento, California, Seattle, Washington. That's everywhere I'm going to do until May.
I'll be in Vancouver and Seattle this weekend, then Minneapolis and Tampa. You can play it while I'm doing this.
Jacksonville, Colorado Springs. Colorado Springs is going to be a wild one.
Salt Lake City, Manchester United. I'll be in the United Kingdom March 20th at Manchester.
Dublin and London. Obviously, Dublin's not part of the United Kingdom, but you know what I mean.
But Manchester, please come to that. Yes.
That's sick. Yeah, man.
Get in there, Gardner. Hello.
Me, LaMare, and Nate have our show Optimum Noctis at the Creek in the Cave on Tuesday, February 4th. It's the first Tuesday of every month.
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God bless you. God bless.
Yep. Leprechaun went to space.
Yeah, I think he went pretty early. Hood.
I think he went from the hood And then to space Yeah He was in the hood first It was They jumped They went too early to space But Leprechaun in space Was one of the first pairs of tits I ever saw Dude it was And we paused it on it And my friend's mom and dad My friend's mom Came down to the basement While we were watching it Paused on the Glittery space tits Bro I forgot And my parents were coming over later to hang out and they were like we're gonna tell them and i was like no it wasn't my idea i didn't even want to do this that might have been the first that was i think the first set of tits i saw in an actual movie was leprechaun in space yeah bro i'd be so mad if i was in space and there's an evil jennifer aniston in that she's in one of them she might She's in a fucking leprechaun in space. Yeah.
Bro, I'd be so mad if I was in space and there's an evil leprechaun. Is Jennifer Aniston in that? She's in one of them.
She might be. She's in a fucking leprechaun, bro.
Is she really? Yes. It wasn't her tits, though.
Leprechaun was a big, that was like a big movie franchise. Leprechaun ruled.
She was in the first one. And now she's dating Barack Obama.
Obama. I know.
I saw that. I mean, yeah, I wouldn't, I don't know.
That's one thing I wouldn't really care about if he was having sex with Jennifer Aniston. That's like the best.
I support it. It's like the best possible rumor about that guy.
Yeah. The other ones are pretty vicious.
Yeah. Killed his gay chef.
Yeah. I'd go.
No, I'm fucking Jennifer Aniston. I'd be leaning into him.
I was like, yeah, well, you guys thought I was killing my gay chef and smoking crack and doing all that other stuff, I was actually plugging Aniston. So fuck you guys, dude.
Yeah, that'd be sick. I would support him.
If you were Obama and you had to own up to two rumors, which would you own up to? Drone striking all those civilians way before I admit to killing my gay chef. Say, no, I was the war crime guy, not the gay guy.
I was the war crime. Yeah, true.
That's a good point. Yeah, war crimes are pretty sick.
I would, what I would do is if I did do two rumors, I would do Aniston, obviously, and I would do... Mike? And I'd be like, yeah, I took them both down at the same time.
Yeah. Mike handled my fucking light work, bro.
I fucking watched. I watched Mike.
I just dittied out and watched. I let Mike go to work.
That ain't right. That ain't right.
That ain't right. No, I don't like that.
I don't like that type of talk. You know me, dude.
Don't talk about my politicians. I know.
My bad, my bad, my bad, my bad. I was watching RFK Jr.
getting sworn in. I saw clips of it.
Bro bro they were attacking him man yeah they're trying to get the boys i don't like i don't know why uh it's acceptable there's this guy from denver who like he's asking questions and the whole thing is supposed to be like all right did you say these things in the past and then rfk's like well like kind of said that but let me clarify and he's like i don't care what you're saying now i don't know what you said then it's like well why do you care what he's like, I don't care what you're saying now. I want to know what you said then.

It's like, well, why do you care what he said then if you don't care what he said now?

Yeah.

I mean, I get it because it's like you're just saying that to get into this position.

But it was just so lame to be like.

The bioengineered.

Yeah.

That part.

Yeah.

But he was like, I was quoting NIH.

Yeah.

He was like, I don't want to hear that part.

You're like, dude, what the fuck?

You can't do that.

I saw.

Did you see Bernie yelling at him for the onesies?

Yes. I saw a little bit of that.
Do you support this onesie? Do you agree with the onesie on the screen? It was like a baby onesie that said something about vaccines. Oh, that's what the onesie said.
Yeah, he was seriously like, do you believe in this onesie? Yeah, and he was like, I don't think so. I don't support support that onesie doesn't have a butt flap yeah dude i that was like really insane dude i was i watched like a good amount of it i didn't watch i listened to it but my video was playing while i was driving on the way over here and i was just like dude like just let the guy talk man just if you're if you're like can hold his feet to the fire on stuff, but like they do that.
Like, I hate to say kind of like girl stuff where there'd be like, you said, no, no, no, no, no. That's what you said.
Okay. And you're like, Oh, hold on.
What the fuck? What are we doing here? Oh, that's what you said. No, that's what you said.
And you're like, okay, man. Yeah.
Those hearings are all girl stuff. Yeah.
And it's also like, I, what I think a lot of it is, is like, all right, let's just get the clip of us making him seem like he doesn't know what he's talking about. Bang.
And there's go. You know what got me, you know what politically got me fired up? What? What's the video game Elon Musk says he plays? Did you hear he lied about that? What? He's like, he doesn't, he's not even that good at it.
He like had, he was cheating. He had somebody else playing for him.
Say what? He had someone handling his light work, bro. He's video game lying.
That's psychotic. Really weird, yeah.
If that's true, I don't know the story. If it's true that Elon Musk is video game lying, that's fucking weird.
Okay, video game lying. Remember Woodman? Yes, yes, yes.
Video game lying? That was the scariest shit ever. You can't video game lie.
If you find out someone's video game lying, you go, why? Yeah, I mean, I will say there's like an age. It's like if you commit a crime when you're a minor and forgiven.
Yeah. But there's a threshold.
Into adulthood, if you're video game lying, it's like, bro. Puberty is where you got to.
Once you jizz, you can't video video game lie i think he video game lied and then tried to play what i heard was then he tried to play on a live stream and people that played the game were like you would for him to take this long to figure out these buttons he's never played this fucking game dude that's crazy hiring a guy to be like yo get nice in this make sure everyone thinks i'm the nicest at diablo see if it's just like for a passion project where you're like damn that level's really hard i'm a billionaire why am i sweating over this i'll hire someone to like beat this level for me just so i can watch the storyline that would be sick to get briefed you're a billionaire like so what happened like okay so i took out this guy yeah like brief on di off this guy. Yeah, like, briefed you on Diablo.
I was like, that's so sick. I didn't think it was going to go that way.
Sick he used the crystals. Never would have thought of that.
If that's true, that is truly insane. He might have, he admitted to.
That's what this Washington Post article says. He said he admitted to paying to boost his online warriors into global leaderboards.

Whoa.

He paid to a... Mr.
Musk, did you use Game Genie?

Answer the question, yes or no.

Did you use Game Genie on Diablo?

Yes or no.

Did you use the Contra code for Infinite Lives?

I swear to God, that actually does matter, though.

Dude, that's kind of fucking terrifying.

Somebody was saying he's doing it because he's trying to get views

because he wants to do a streaming thing on X, like a new show on there. Just hire pro gamers.
Who knows what's going on? Or just be like, I like to play video games every now and again. You don't have to be a world-ranked player.
That's crazy. That is crazy.
Although he is. I don't know.
Is he the first case of unchecked autism? Pretty much. Have we had autistic billionaires before? We had to have had a couple.

I'm sure most of them had something.

But he's the first one.

He seems like he wants fame.

Yeah.

And autism and fame together

almost makes me think he's not autistic.

True.

Those bros fucking...

They don't care at all about that.

Yeah.

That's actually a good point.

That's a good point. Who knows? This guy's confusing me.
Video game lying is... Video game lying, though, that bothered me.
I feel like you... What an autistic video game lie.
That's the fundamental question here. You know what I'm saying? I don't think they lie.
I feel like there's a code. Those bros...
Especially on the vidges. That's what I'm saying.
That'd be like being like, I know I could quote the whole Sonic movie back and forth and being like bro bro you're lying dude like I hired somebody to fucking read me the Sonic lines so I could be autistic I hope that's not true the thing that's been freaking me out about that kind of stuff is like and again I don't know if this is real or not but like people hiring like being their own hype man in the comments I've like I've seen multiple stories about different people doing this where it's like busted. They like bust up the comments.
You can't read the comments, bro. I know.
This is what happens. No, I know.
But exactly. I get it.
You end up going, I wish my friends would say this about me. All to count.
Everybody should know about this. That would feel good to like anonymously be like, actually, it's actually pretty fucking sick.
I don't know but he was on laser tag who's number six but yeah people they like the screenshots again you know

whether or not it's true or not you never know but it's like there's like a screenshot of them

busting up their twitter account then you saw the alt underneath it and it's like that's and

then they'll show the top comment and like yo this person's they're hyping themselves which again if

you hire someone to do social media burner accounts that hype themselves up and argue

in the comments a lot that's crazy athletes do it a lot that's crazy bro yeah

I'm going they go. Yeah, fuck That was lame as fuck.

Oh, it's the worst, bro.

Yeah.

It's like I'd rather be caught.

I'd rather be caught fapping accidentally on Zoom than have somebody catch me.

Yes.

Hyping myself, dude.

That's devastating.

Be like, actually, he's like really fucking cool.

I don't even think he.

No, I think he looks good He's actually like

Nasty at Diablo

He's so good at Diablo

If that's true

I pray that's not true

I hope there's another

Something behind that

I hope he's trying to promote a show

On X

I hope so too

Because video game lying is

That's treason

In my America That's treason. In my America, that's treason.
That's firing squad. This episode is brought to you by Max.
The Emmy award winning series Hacks returns this April. The new season follows Debra Vance making a move from her Vegas residency to Hollywood showbiz.
Tensions rise as Debra and Ava try to get their late night show off the ground and make history while doing it. Starring Gene Smart and Hannah Einbinder, Hacks Season 4 is streaming Thursday, April 10th exclusively on Macs.
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Not available in all states. True with like...
What is it? Chipotle? No, I'm alright. Thank you.
You'd have the firing squad jump like Halo players? Teabagging after he's dead? Dude, I didn't know that. That's truly devastating, but you know,, maybe after we...
In the White House. I'm on my liberal shit.

The White House came out and lied about...

They said we were giving $50 million worth of condoms to Gaza.

Why?

I don't know.

They're justifying their cutting federal funding for a lot of shit.

Because we're wasting tons of money on random bullshit.

Yeah.

And one of the examples they used happens to not, probably not be true.

Condoms.

Which was we're giving

$50 million worth of condoms

to Hamas.

They're not using them.

They're not using them.

Yeah, that'd be.

That'd be more condoms than.

Yeah.

$50 million worth of condoms

is too much.

There's no way.

But it turns out

that's probably not true. But then what they're doing, which is very nice.
Cause that lie was so stupid. The media can focus on that as like the story instead of the funding that should probably be cut, which they actually are doing, you know, to like foreign DEI company bullshit, you know, where the United States is paying like $80 million to promote DEI and fucking Chad.
Shit like that. Yeah, I could imagine that being a gigantic waste of money.
Yeah. What gender are you? I am a mechanic.
All right. Well, we can shut this program down.
Program's done. I am a mechanic.
Okay. You're the DEI instructor.
You come back with like hard PTSD. Get out of here, you fucking gay bitch.
Yeah, I've been watching those videos. They've been firing me up.
Africa Corps. What's Africa Corps? It's the funniest.
It's just dudes getting interviewed on the street. Oh, dude, they're the best.
Would you ever marry a woman that makes more money than you?

Never.

I said you.

Never.

I said you.

So good, dude.

Never.

I will always be poor.

Why are you gay?

Oh, there's Africa core.

Africa core is hilarious.

What gender are you?

I am a mechanic. hilarious what gender are you i am mechanic yeah those dudes fucking rule they're the best it's a shame we can't get along better man it'd be so cool to just like we get along with africa we do for sure yeah we can chill with those but i'm saying we gotta stop fighting every other country so all we're like think about our enemies dude abroad china's you know like it or hate it's hilarious funny sell they're funny as fuck they're funny north korea hilarious i know dude they all got addicted to porn when they got sent to ukraine there's dudes in like russian hospitals posting videos like russian soldiers like these are my roommates it's two north koreans there's a TV in the room and they're like, what the fuck is this?

That's their like,

remember how the soldiers got like peanut butter,

German soldiers got peanut butter for the first time in World War II.

They're just watching fucking fail army.

Like,

holy shit.

Everything I've ever been told is a fucking lie.

This shit is awesome.

They see CGI.

They see like the Geico fucking gecko they're just like it's talking yeah that's gotta be crazy man especially getting tossed into Russia and having Russians being like oh you didn't know about this shit yeah check this shit out blue jeans check this shit out although Tucker was saying Russia is chill as hell I watched that one video where he went to a supermarket yeah it looked like an audi's where he was just like this is amazing they have everything here fresh produce yeah they have stuff there although apparently uh you're never gonna believe it russia has stuff russia has stuff or they apparently putin called i think putin is trying to rile up the right wing bros he He's like, yo, actually send Fauci over here. I'll deal with his ass.
And everyone's like, yeah, we'll fuck on Twitter. Like, I'll send him over here right now.
You'd be surprised. He's pretty.
It is pretty massive. They also said the Biden administration tried to kill him.
Really? The Russians came out, I think, today and said they tried to kill Biden and Trump or Putin and Trump. What? Yeah.
They could just be horse feeding. True.
But it is. But it does seem like somebody tried to kill Trump.
Yeah, for sure. He did get shot in the fucking head.
Someone did try to get his ass. Putin too.
I mean, if Putin's over there, that is pretty sick. And the other guy that tried to shoot him was what? Living in Ukraine? Kind of weird.
Yeah, that's not a good one. What the hell? Yeah, I mean, hell's breaking loose, dude.
I'm just watching fucking RFK get in there and they're like, you think fucking you guys you don't fucking like pop tarts. All the kids are going to die.
It is crazy. He's like, look, not working we're health-wise we're not doing well

they're like we understand that but you didn't you say that and it's just like dude let it go

you guys had it you guys held down the fort they held down the fort you had fucking fort sucked

you had the voucher man in there got you guys got your how long was he in there for

fucking forever he's in there for fucking ever dude yeah it's like let's fucking roll the dice

man we're all fat as hell let's roll the fucking dice i got type 2 motherfucking diabetes almost

Thank you. got your how long was he in there for fucking forever he's in there for fucking ever dude yeah it's like let's fucking roll the dice man we're all fat as hell let's roll the fucking dice i got type 2 motherfucking diabetes almost i wouldn't mind switching things up a little bit dude switch it up yeah i was over here like dude i'm probably one of the healthiest guys i know i'm like fucking well that's because you hang out with a bunch of fucking slobs nah damn it i got the fittest guy at a comedy club is I know Fucking not that impressive I go there, I'm like, hey, it's alright This is truth But yeah, hopefully we come out of it I think after two more years we might come out Alright, they do gotta stop fucking lying and doing Nazi salutes I just wish I just wish Video game lying is way worse Video game lying, no Nazi saluting My heart goes out to you you it has nothing compared to lying on diablo that's true heart goes out to you you know what that's there that's a gray area up for interpretation video game lying is it's cutting black it's cutting it's black and white man it's gone dry like oh man i pray that's not true you guys look that i need to know yeah did.
It is true. He admitted it.
Sean said he admitted to it. In the post, the post says he admitted to it.
Paying players to help him rank up and get his guys. I don't know how Diablo works, but apparently he paid to get that rank.
Have guys play under his avatar. I think a mix of like a few of those sorts of things.
Like have guys play for them. Tom Fuller.
Yeah. Tom Fuller.
There's like money in those open world games that like becomes almost like real money. Like it becomes like you could, you know, it's like a tradable commodity.
Guys would trade accounts like RuneScape, you know, you'd like get a level 100 RuneScape account and then you'd sell it to like another guy. That's probably what he did.
He just probably bought a bunch of level 80 accounts. Really? A little inside rim job.
Yeah, I think they looked at his rank, and they were like, if you can never do this in the amount of time you said by yourself. Dude, his mind's a storm, dude.
He's a genius. I guess.
His mind's a fucking storm, dude. It is sick to have a storm being like, I got to get a higher fucking Diablo rank.
I don't have to talk. I don't know.
I don't know Diablo, but. Whatever.
At least he owned up to it. You know, at least he's fucking.
That's good. Holding it down.
Like, that'd be crazy if he held it down like Watergate style. I was like, I'll never fucking admit.
Till I die. You should have.
Yeah. You should have hidden that.
I would have said no.

I did not video game lie.

Yeah, true.

I would have been like,

we got to invade Vietnam again,

actually,

just to distract the whole population.

Fucking bomb Vietnam.

That fucked me up.

I watched that.

I got 20 minutes left

of that Ken Burns.

It was good.

Finish a Ken Burns,

you feel like you did something.

Dude, that's like

reading a fucking book.

Yeah, it was a lot.

That was dense, man. That was a lot.
it was easy because my girlfriend's friends were visiting so i was just in my room jacked up with some chem burns watching vietnam it's watching it's a sick move actually that does create like a little sanctuary blast zone what are you doing like mom's watching this thing about a horrible once in Vietnam. You guys are not going to watch it.
Yeah. It is like one of those frequencies.
Scarecrow. Yeah.
It's a scarecrow. They come in the room and they go.
They would all run. Yeah, it was a bummer.
Nixon... I don't know why I was getting reports that Nixon was kind of the man.
He was, according to Ken Burns' documentary, that guy sucked.

Yeah, people say he's bad.

People always say he's bad.

Who was telling you he was the man?

Louie likes him.

Yeah.

I think Louie likes him, but he recognizes his flaws.

And then, what's his name?

Nick Bryan was in here.

Nick Bryan, you were saying he got a friend.

There's a lot of people that were like, he's kind of, and I've defended him.

I've been like, he ended Vietnam.

It was pretty good.

It's like, he didn't want to. He wanted to do it for political purposes.
They had peace talks lined up before the election. And he, as a candidate, went in and was like, he talked directly to the South Vietnamese.
And he was like, don't do these peace talks. Wait till I'm elected.
We'll get you a better deal. Damn.
So he shut down peace talks for his election. Yeah, it's fucked up.
That's crazy. The book I read, the Born Again book with the guy Chuck Colson, who was like his dude who went to jail for Watergate or one of the guys who went to jail.
I remember him claiming like they had these peace talks going and they got like sabotaged. But that was before he even got in there.
Yeah, he was a candidate. Oh, yeah't talk about that that's pretty they tried to have peace talks and they waited the peace talks took 10 weeks because south or south vietnam and north vietnam couldn't agree on what table to use they were like if we're on this side you guys have to be on that side and they fought about it for 10 weeks what and the war And the war just kept going.
They didn't want to break bread together? No, they wanted the Viet Cong and the North Vietnamese to sit on the same side because they were like, you guys are the same fucking team. Stop pretending you're not.
And then the Soviet Union came in with a big plan 10 weeks later. What about a round table? So no one's really on a side.
And everyone was like, all right, that works works kind of a good idea now let's talk it was the dumbest from vietnam was the dumbest piece of shit war and the whole time people were like even in america every single person that went over there was like we shouldn't do that yeah don't do that well the idea was advisor was like don't do it yeah this is not a good idea yeah the idea was there they were under the threat of becoming communist and we were supposed to go in there to be like hey guys come on man this is yes then we just started shooting people we sent over we sent over advisors under kennedy and then he was like we're not gonna ever send troops yeah so they shot him in the head and then lbj sent troops in damn dude yeah that's why they shot him in the head and then uh What was the upside for America, though? I don't know. We got stuck in this war that we were going to try to make South Vietnam the government there.
Like a democratic... Right.
Like we elected their guys. And everybody we elected kept being a corrupt fucking psycho.
Dang. Shit.
Just sucked. And then we just had to get in there.
But the one thing that bothers me, especially on the internet, there's nice memes where

Vietnam fucked us up.

We literally committed a genocide there.

They did not fuck us up.

Yeah.

We murdered.

Look at this.

It was like literally a million.

We killed a million.

You're saying we won.

By America's standard of body count at the time, that was what they were going with.

Yeah.

America was like, we're winning the war. We killed so many.
But they didn't say mercy. They never said mercy.
That sucks. They never said uncle.
That is a giant psychological victory to be like, yeah, I don't give a fuck. Yeah.
Kill a million of us. I don't give a fuck.
They're like, well. They mad-dogged us.
They did. And then we got a little soft.
That was the other thing. Because I'm watching this.
It's a historical documentary. I'm watching it like it's a movie.
I'm thinking like, oh, man, we should have won this war. We could have fucked them up.
Not even thinking about like human lives. But the people back home were real like anti-war.
Our journalists were really taking it upon themselves to try to get peace by showing how awful the war was. Yeah.
Yeah course north north vietnam didn't have freedom of press so they were just telling everybody we're fucking winning meanwhile america's like this is a disaster yeah it was a disaster it was a disaster that's the hard part they should have been it's also a war yeah true there's there's i understand doing the right thing by reporting on terrible things.

Yeah.

I just don't understand.

I can never understand how it started.

World War I was Archduke Ferdinand.

They're like, oh, fuck.

I get the beginnings of that.

Was there in the Civil War, Fort Sumter was the first battle?

I never understood the first battle where they're like, hey, oh, shit.

Well, Vietnam didn't have battles, but it was a weird war there wasn't like uh like there'd be a battle for like a hill yeah and we would take it and then the next day we would just abandon it like it nothing made sense crazy um it started with like france leaving and then the communists kind of taking hold and starting to take over and then south vietnam being like, can you help us out? Yeah. We're like, we'll send advisors.
And then we're like, we should just dump a bunch of money into this and our people. And then we ended up sending troops.
So you have to just like, you have to like just take out the communist leaders. That's like the military objective.
Yeah. We didn't want China to expand into Vietnam.
Yeah. The way they were.
Exciting stuff. mean dude I never really knew I knew it was like a yeah I never knew anything about Vietnam I watched the whole fucking thing I still don't know what happened I mean that's pretty good recounting yeah but nothing it nothing makes sense yeah I mean as to why anything happened yeah it's fucking weird I mean it does you know I don't know yeah I still i guess i got a uh i i did uh marty bent's podcast on bitcoin nice yesterday so i had the same experience i never understood a thing about bitcoin i i'm a little bit i don't know what it is it's a techno it's like one of the greatest technologies man's ever done i can do that i can do that so dude he was explaining it yesterday how do they mine it what is being my what is happening so this? So this is my understanding of it.
Somebody tell me. This is my hard-earned, and I don't know if this is even correct, but...
So there's a computer network that is somehow securing Bitcoin by solving this mathematical equation the founder set out to where it increases in difficulty. So if a lot of Bitcoins are being mined you're mining a bitcoin you're being rewarded for dedicating computing power that then like secures the network itself which is just this like weird mathematical function that can be like solved and then for solving it you get a little bitcoin as a reward but then it then it like the network knows the problems being solved so it ups the.
And then you kind of like, it like tethers back and forth. That's like, it was weird as fuck.
Yeah. That doesn't make any sense.
Yeah. Not really.
I don't understand it either. I've been hit with a lot of speeches on it.
Yeah. I got hit with Sam Hyde, Nick Mullen.
I've been hit with serious rants on Bitcoin and I've never, I've just, just stare at them. They talk to me about money and i go all i know is so it can't be it's the big things the fiat should have focused on money the fiat currency is the big port of where it's like any any currency is like the policy dictating like the worth of the currency is dictated by a centralized government body but bitcoin the network through which it's exchanged that is somehow bolstered by like voluntary computer power that is given bitcoin as a result as a reward allows for it to never be centralized and dictated in a way where like you know if you own if you have all your money in usd and they're printing out tons of us dollars it fucks up your money like your money in a bank is of course literally dissipating if it's not if you're not investing your money's disappearing under inflation like a part of it is just disintegrating yeah and bitcoin's argument is that it won't do that because they're not they're only going to ever put out 21 million bitcoins that's like the whole thing it's just and but i'm like yeah but like so you can just save it i guess you can just save it and just put use it as like a savings account that was the whole let me talk about other stuff but it was cool to hear about like hash point i still don't understand that he's like well then it reaches the hash point the hash point dictates the difficulty level and it was just like bro let me understand any of that i hope it goes up to 200 man that's all i know yeah i don't know anything but they claim they do your money managers get mad when you say put that into bitcoin they don't like it no they don't like it well because it completely apparently just totally undermines like the way wall street functions i don't know that again i'm out of my depth on that too but i did get a little bit now i understand what mining bitcoin is is like dedicating computers so like you're just like you have a computer and it just does math problems really hard math problems all day then again, you're like, damn, you just got a fraction of a Bitcoin.

You're like, yes.

It's Math Castle.

It's stupid.

It's literally Math Castle.

I don't like that.

You have Math Castle.

You have like a huge rack of computer servers doing Math Castle every now and again.

Yeah.

Yoshi or whatever his name is.

Yoshi is like, you get a Mario coin.

You go, yes.

I am kind of mystified by how it works.

That's stupid.

If that's how it works, that's dumb.

You just do math problems.

A computer does things.

That's a little weird.

Thank you. and you go, yes.
I am kind of mystified by how it works. That's stupid.
If that's how it works, that's dumb. You just do math problems, a computer does things? That's a little weird.
Who's benefiting from the computer doing something? The network. The network having, it's...
The network just gets bigger. Yeah.
Bigger and more secure. So it's like with the more computing power you have, dedicate it for some reason to doing these math problems.
That way, like when an exchange happens, it's somehow validated within the thing. It within the thing is like yep this definitely happened it's like a kind of a worry-free way to exchange money like they're saying you can't scam it from what i've heard i don't know if you can or not so it's pretty cool i got i got bitcoin pilled yesterday and i was like damn it's kind of sick i always wanted just to know because i don't know literally anything about it and these dudes are have an idea of what Bitcoin is.
I just know about mining. I tried to build a rig.
I couldn't do it. The programming part was too hard for me.
You tried to build a rig to mine? How far did you get? It was like 2015. I had like two GPUs ready to go.
Damn, you could have done it. You could have stuck with it.
What was the coding thing? Let's get into the weeds of this. Because you got to put a program on there, and I couldn't do it.
What, the math problem? Yeah. What's the math problem, dude? I don't know.
That's what I was trying to figure out. I'm like, dude, how hard is this math problem, and how the fuck did a guy? It's 13 times 7.
No one can do it. What is it? 13 times 7.
No one on earth can do that, dude. Your computer just blows up.
You're like, fuck. It's my second tower.
91. Yeah, we got into quantum computing.
I was like... Fuck.
That makes no sense. Quantum computing.
No sense at all. I don't understand what that is because quantum mechanics has to deal with like the teeniest tiniest specs of like matter possible and i'm like okay i understand that but how the fuck does you have a computer dealing in that i can't do i guess instead of megabytes it's mini bites and you go oh shit it's mini bites It's just unparalleled computing power.
What do you have? They're called qubits. Qubits? They're called what? What's a qubit do? A qubit is a measure of quantum power.
Yeah, but like, okay. It seems like we all know the vocabulary around it.
That's what I'm saying. I don't have a tough time explaining what any of it is.
Okay. So I watched the video.
It was like explaining like I was five. The guy was like, quantum computing is like, so you know how a coin has two sides?

Sure.

There's an endpoint.

Both parts are entry and endpoint.

But like quantum computing is like spinning a coin because there's an infinite amount of entries and exits.

So it's not zero one.

The program's not oh one oh one.

It's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

Yeah.

But like infinite because it's an infinite amount of points. That's all.
That made no sense. Points of what? What are you talking about? Entry and exit points of what? Points of data, points of computing, points of processing.
So it's not binary. It's all general fucking words.
It's not binary. I don't like these words.
It's non-binary. Your computer's run on a series of 0, 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 0, 1, male, female, male, female.
I have fucking with some non-binary bullshit. Common computing is gender fluid.
It's code full. It's fluid.
It's just like a 1, 2, 3, 4, 2, 5, 6, 9, 9, 9. Oh, shit.
I didn't even think about. There's a 9 in this computer.
What if instead of 0s and 1s. That's definitely taken over.
Yeah, I understand it now. Thank you.

Just a little bit more.

Well, let's switch over to Patreon.