Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)

the wild wild west and we're live what's up everybody how we doing motherfucking sydney again tim butley thank you guys for coming i'm fucking so pumped to have you down here thank you so much thanks for having for having us in the arena of ideas. I knew you guys could rock the setup, dude.
Yeah. Do people get competitive on here? I want to win the podcast.
I know. I need a buzzer.
Well, here's the deal. No, if someone says something out of bounds, I will put you in.
But for now, we're peaceful. Dude, I feel like I should end all my sentences with my brother.
You can. Yeah.
Maybe I should be referring to you guys as Colin. I don't have the glasses.
I need the non-prescription circular glasses for that. True.
Yeah. Possibly a bow tie.
Yeah, I need a bow tie. Yeah.
I have the hair for it. Here's my thing.
If I were black, I would talk like really black. You know what I mean? Yeah.
I don't know. I always feel bad.
What are you trying to say to Sidney? I wasn't allowed. You can do whatever you want.

I'm talking about my blackness.

My family wouldn't let me.

Are you saying Sidney's leaving blackness on the table?

I think so.

I think there's some blackness to be had.

When you're like, I'm going to end my sentence with my brother, I'm like, why don't you?

Remember the movie Ray Charles when they were trying drugs for the first time and they wouldn't

let him try drugs?

That's how my family was with talking black. They were like,

this ain't for you, man.

You can't have any of this.

You don't want no part of this.

Everybody in my family does

talk that way, except for me and my

brother. And they wouldn't let you have it.
No, they wouldn't let us get it in.

Did they ever send you as

their emissary to deal with white people?

All the time. I think that's what they were trading

us for. That's so funny.
Yeah, we were ambassadors. What did I tell you about saying she? She is a curse word.
Say that. You can say shit.
Say god damn it. I was always going to be like yes and no.
I could never be like, oh, hell nah. Oh, you could do the hell nah.
They wouldn't let me the N-word. Everybody else in my house was saying the N-word, and I was not allowed to say it.
What the fuck? I had to call it the N-word. What? This is no bullshit.
My mom talked to the bus aide. I disagree.
That is some bullshit. That is some bullshit, right? My mom would talk to the bus aide.
I wasn't allowed to sit on the back of the bus. No.
Swear to God. I was not allowed to sit on the back of the bus.
How long would you get grounded if you were to say something like, I don't know, ain't this about a bitch? That's the whole summer indoors. Yeah.
How do you feel about that, though? Do you think it was a hookup? Or is it like... What mean like they're just to say that blacker yeah like in terms of them can you say that whiter please what is the hookup is that a desirable outcome oh no okay see i get that so uh no yeah you like that no i mean it was i would just i would just find different ways to like find my own little vibe for sure so it just made me more creative yeah you know but it was uh right the arbitrary constraints that create great art you know exactly i like that exactly but i would i would uh so i would get in trouble in school because like i wasn't like sitting on the back of the bus but when the bus would stop like either at home or at school i would run to the back and open the emergency doors and hop out.
That's it. I was the guy that would start that rebellion.
That's it. Yeah.
So do you do an emergency exit out of the bus? I did. Non-drill? Non-drill.
Yeah. That's crazy.
Yeah. I would just like blow past the safety patrol that knew I was going back there to do it.
And I would like sometimes I have to swim move because they try to put that hand out to stop me. Bus safety is no

joke. I was a bus safety.

I think I was a bus safety. Sidney was

tactically running with both arms behind his back.

How big was your

school bag at the time?

Naruto blasted through.

You were a giant school bag kid running off

the back of the back.

Isn't that like the opening

scene of a goofy movie? Isn't that like the sun? Does he skateboard off the back of a school bus? That's pretty sick, though. Goofy freaks me out too much.
I tried watching the Goofy movie with my kids, and I was like, let's watch something else. It's too silly.
And then it's like Goofy's nice, but then like the evil Goofy's, those like other guys. I don't like that.
I don't know. I just don't like the sight of those guys.
The Goofy Goofy Squad? I don't like those guys. They make you uncomfortable.
They make me slightly uncomfortable. Goofy, he's too about the bullshit.
He's all about the bullshit. You're too structured.
Look at you. Way too.
You can't handle Goofy. I can't handle Goofy.
Yeah, yeah. The bad guys in that are actually the good guys for you.
They're trying to straighten Goofy out. Yeah, man.
Knock off his bullshit. Yeah.
I don't like it. I don't know why.
I see it. It's just a steady.
I don't like Ren and Stimpy. I never liked that show.
You don't like Ren and Stimpy? When I was little, it was just grotesque. You seem like a Ren and Stimpy kid.
I wasn't allowed to watch it. That's what my parents held back for me.
They were like, no Ren and Stimpy. That's good.
Ren and Stimpy, I think, is spaz energy that you don't need. I didn't do it.
I would catch it sometimes. Your parents were like, this is too white, man.
Yeah. Yeah.
I told you, they did inadvertently do that. They blocked MTV and they just left BET.
They didn't know it existed. So that was the only music channel I had.
Oh, the cattle shooted you. It was probably the right thing.
You know, the dude that created Ren and Stimpy was... Oh, yeah.
He was a little... Petto ass.
Yeah, he was a little active. Yeah, I just don't like the bulging eyeballs and I just, when I was being a kid, being like, fuck, this show is bugging me out.
That was probably the most powerful I felt as a child when they were doing extreme Ren and Stimpy close-up. I was like, I'm tapped into the source.
I know what's up. I hate it.
I've been dabbling in animation right now, and I've always told the animators, like, none of that Ren and Stimpy bullshit, bro. I don't want to protest close-ups.

I want everyone to look very shiny.

My mom's going to get furious if she sees that.

Yeah, it was cringy for me.

I would sometimes look away.

Yeah.

I couldn't handle it.

Yeah, but turn on Hangin' with Mr. Cooper now.

I think my entire highlight reel of, like, childhood joy was just, like, a veiny face

with bulging eyeballs and, like, a sound effect.

I was like, brr.

Yeah. That's all that ran through my head, man.
Funny. Funny you bring up hanging with Mr.
Cooper. That was always my biggest, one of the reasons I always accepted my plight for how my family wouldn't let me talk is I was afraid of sounding like hanging with Mr.
Cooper. Really? Cause he was like a dude that like talked black, but sounded like he shouldn't.
Yeah. I can see that.
You know what I mean? Like that was my biggest fear. I thought he was cool.
I was watching him. Just being like, Mr.
Cooper's pretty, I thought he was pretty cool. Yeah, he's like a giant black man ahead of his time.
Yeah, I thought he was cool. I guess I was benchmarking.
Urkel said a hard benchmark. He was white cool.
True, yeah, yeah, he did. I read a thing recently with Urkel.
He gave like an interview about how he says that he's not included in the pantheon of black entertainment as Urkel. Yeah.
I don't know. Stefan, though.
Not even Stefan. Not even Stefan.
People weren't buying it. People go back to the nerd character.
But no, he was saying if they say the all-time great black shows, it's like Martin, blah, blah, blah. And he was like, no one mentions Family Matters.
That's wild. Because the Cosby show gets mentioned.
And he tried to say it was because of like, I don't know. He was like, it was because of the like family vibe.
But yeah, the Cosby show gets mentioned all the time. Yeah, way more family vibe.
Way more. Sure.
Yeah, it is way more family vibe. Yeah, I don't know.
He must be. He's bullshitting then.
Yeah. He's just, he is.
I don't know. I feel like, I know white people loved Family Matters.
Yeah. Did black people not like watching the black nerd or like.
No, I don't know. I know white people loved Family Matters.
Did black people not like watching The Black Nerd? No, I think Family Matters was the palatable white version of the sitcom Rock. Remember that? He was a garbage man and he lived in the hood.
Chris Rock? No, he was a fat black actor. I don't remember his name, but he was a garbage man that lived in the hood.

Faze on Love?

No.

He was on every show.

Yeah, he was on every show.

But he would deal with like hood issues, but from a standpoint of a family that was trying to raise a good family in the hood.

So he had to like fight drug dealers and shit because his drug dealers were trying to get his son to sell drugs.

Yeah.

And he invited the drug dealer over and like try to fight him in his house and his wife had to break him up. This was called Rock? Yeah.
R-O-C. Do you remember this? This wasn't called Kang of Queens? I never...
That must have been before my time. That was a black deep cut.
Was it really? I was around the same time as Family Matters. I knew Three's Company was like, black people love that show.

Dude.

Jack Tripper.

Jack Tripper.

Yeah, he's a tripper, dog.

Jack be tripping.

I've never seen that either.

When I worked for the labor union, I was constantly just hearing about Jack Tripper.

Yeah.

Because I lived with my ex-wife and her mother.

They'd be like, Jack Tripper, damn, bro.

Yeah, dog.

Fucking Jack Tripper.

That was a wild bull.

No, I'm not.

I looked it up, and I was like, god damn.

It was also a psyop to get the black community to accept acting gay. Was Jack Tripper gay? He had to act gay.
Because he wasn't allowed to live in the house that he lived in with those ladies. Yeah.
Unless he was gay. Oh, he was a fake gay guy.
Yeah. That was a big plot point of that show.
Damn. So, but he never did gay stuff in the show? That was a big comedic device

because he would bring women over

and date women and then the landlord

would come up while he had a date over

and he had to act straight

with the date and then gay

in front of the landlord.

It's never ending. You can watch a guy pretend to be gay.

You can get a hundred episodes out.

That was basically how

the welfare state you couldn't have a black dad in the house but then he actually did live there. That was Jack basically how like the welfare state, you know, you couldn't have a black dad in the house.
But then he actually did live there. Yeah.
That was Jack Tripper. Okay.
Like it was like the gay welfare state. Yeah, he wasn't supposed to be in there.
Yeah. Yeah, that is funny too.
That was like a show, a compelling plot to be like, you can't live in here with two women by yourselves. Yeah.
Only in, what was that, like 1990? No, that was much earlier. 80s? Had to be 80s.
It's crazy. 70s even.
I think a landlord doesn't want you living by yourself with two women. As you shouldn't.
Yeah, that would be totally improper. Did you hear about the lady who had sex with 100 men? OnlyFans lady? Oh, yeah.
She made a documentary. She made a documentary.
Yeah. Cried at that.
Yeah. Tears welling up in her eyes.
Here's the thing. You never get to see the end of that.
You know, it's like if you see that kind of thing, you're like, oh, you never get to see like the real kind of final act. Were they like cry for like the same tears that you get for winning the championship? She was trying to like be very powerful and brave and just be like, yeah, and it's just, you know, it's just like kind of intense.
She was like, it's not for me, but I could see it being for other i'm not saying nobody could do this but apparently apparently inside the room the the production were gagging because like there were the smell of cum was so like there was so much cum that it was like that's i didn't think i've never thought about that that's disgusting yeah i'll be honest like look do what you want but like having that 100 You Your knee deep in the cum cistern. 100 cum.
Dude, 100 cum. 100 loads.
100 loads. Did they all not? I saw her saying in the Twitter clip that some of the guys were like...
She was cutting them off after like two minutes. And he's like, it said five in the DM.
And she was just like, yeah, come on. You out here so some of the guys didn't come i'm assuming maybe probably pull off to the side those are the real victims yeah you're like guy 45 and you just get to like wet your pen like all right get out of here that's nuts you feel the breeze on your wet penis as you're walking back to put your shorts on? That would be funny, just mashing your half-hard bird into this lady for two minutes and be like, what the fuck am I doing? Yeah.
Nobody talks about the hundred guys. Let's examine the road that led me here.
Yeah, no one talks about how the hundred guys are equally as problematic as a lady. Do you think, obviously obviously being anywhere in the nineties would suck, but I think being guy a hundred would probably rule.
You're there when they like pop the confetti. They're trying to like cheer.
You did it. You're so good.
Your dick gets to like break through a little tape. Yeah.
That's guy. One hundred.
There's gotta be a guy. Thumping water on his.
there's gotta be a guy who's pumping water on his there's gotta be a guy who calls it on your dick someone has to call that there's gotta be a guy walking in like flicks a cigarette on the ground i'll go last i'm always go last dude watch this this is my 45th one oh man it's like a marathon bumper sticker on his car is 100 i love being guys 100 century man baby yeah that's that's kind of like insane to be like uh yeah i'm gonna sign up and do that i'm gonna be like the 40th guy or first lead off you know it's gotta be nice i would say uh maybe when she gets her second wind around in the low 70s,

that's probably a nice spot.

She gets a little bit of...

She can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Yeah, her eyes widen.

Apparently her eyes were sore.

They were coming on her eyes.

Yeah, apparently her eyes were sore.

They were laden with ejaculate.

This is crazy.

She submitted herself to Al-Qaeda interrogation tank.

This is every. Ejaculate.
She submitted herself to like Al-Qaeda interrogation. This is every female rescued soldier.
I mean, it's not ideal, right? I'm not trying to sound like, you know, I'm not trying to ring like the moral alarm, but I'm like, it's just not a good use of time and resources. They were doing 100 in like the 80s.
They were doing 500 when I was a teenager. Yeah.
Howard Stern was having girls on. I think it was like in an hour.
That was kind of the impressive part, man. Oh, it was timed.
Oh, yeah. Okay.
I think it was in an hour. Is she like in the Guinness book? I don't think that's more impressive.
That doesn't make sense. I don't think that's more impressive at all.
But it couldn't have been an hour because then it's like each guy got two minutes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's 200 minutes. It was one day.
It was one day. 24 hours.
Oh, so she ate like lunch. They had to break.
They had to take a break. Like the union rules.
Like they had to. It would have been a union violation.
Big whistle. Oh, man.
The sandwich has been sitting for a while, so you just got kind of like a room temperature hoagie. She had to use that rough hand soap to watch cum out of her eyes.
I was like, did we have the volcano soap? Lava. Yeah, lava soap.
With the granules the granules yeah just mechanic grant no water just rubbing that shit on her eyes and just peels and falls off drying your hands on newspapers oh man what a wild way to find out that's not for you you could just speculate on that yeah here's my thing i i'm like i don't think any girl wants to have sex with 100.

I think most girls don't even want to have sex with one guy.

Good guys.

Yeah.

Who are there every day. Yeah.

Those are not going to have sex with one guy.

Mostly in love with their life.

Now it's a hundred.

They're a great father to their kids.

I totally like that.

A very patient and calm father. I might show my wife that.
She had sex with 100 guys. I'm asking for a hand job, dude.
Maybe two more of my friends. I'd be impressed if she gave 100 guys a hand job.
I would say that's impressive and I salute you. This episode is brought to you by Max.
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It's more impressive than Penetration. She'd be like one of those arm wrestlers with one giant arm.

Two at a time.

Oh, just like bam, bam, bam?

Yeah, like pure public service.

That I could get into.

Yeah, you think the stroke locks in eventually,

and you're like three, four pumping guys?

You can even...

You're talking like...

Yeah, like how fast are you making them come

when you really get in your groove?

Or a hypothetical woman, not you.

Yeah, not me, obviously.

Never. I'd be, I mean...
I'd be lights out and be in the building i mean at one point your arms would get so tired you would need like prosthetic assistance so you get like robo braces you would have to start like using your legs like just like you wouldn't eat the mech suit eventually come down but yeah i uh that's that's a shame that's a uh that's a shame that that's become like a viable path yeah is it viable what's no only fans well we all know fans is like i i've heard it's like um it's not that crazy for a young woman a college-age woman to be like yeah we'll start an only fans you know kickFans, you know, kick some money up on the side. Yeah.
That's got to be fun, floating it out there to your, like, existing, like, when you start promoting it and it's just, like, people you know, they're just, like, flipping the coin whether they'll check it out, you know? Yeah. That's got to be uncomfortable territory.
Yeah, making flyers for that would be pretty fun. Popping the 100 out there.
Sparking outside. Well, you're doing the softcore on Instagram.
It should be like, check out, you know, go tree. Yeah.
Oh, boys. Before it really catches on.
I'm not going to lie. I think as a parent, you should be monitoring that shit into the early 20s and putting kind of like a kibosh on that.
I think it's sort of burner accounts, I guess. It's like no having sex with 100 guys.
Yeah. Or just no only fans.
Yeah. No pay for play.
Yeah. you i mean you you got to kind of like massage the idea of how gross that stuff is and how non-respectable it is early on yeah would you be dming them too you know would you be sending dms like because uh you know in in it this was like security testing where we would like send a phishing attack to an employee to see how they react so would you pop in in the girls' DMs and just be like, you know,

damn, you look so good.

And just seeing how they responded.

Yes, here's what I would do.

I would hire some sort of like cyber

attacker guy to take

their, basically like their content

and switch it out with me like taking dumps

on stuff and jerking off.

They would just be completely blacklisted.

I would do like heinous

scat content and have it

like pushed onto their stuff

and have them be like, what the fuck happened?

You know what happened.

Like, oh, you guys like jerking off, huh?

I would just fucking

blast. I would just pee.

I would jerk off and pee.

I would hit them with like the

seventh grade special.

Yeah, you fucking sicko and cream. You like this shit?

That's somebody's daughter.

You just throw up.

You guys made me fucking sick.

Oh, fuck, I'm coming.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, you got to knock that stuff off early, man.

And again, I don't want to say, like, purely, like, from, you know,

moralistic terms.

Before, it was, like, thought to be disgusting

to marry for sexual attraction.

That's crazy. Like, you know,

I'm going to go. And again, I don't want to say like purely like from, you know, moralistic terms.
Before, it was like thought to be disgusting to marry for sexual attraction.

And that's crazy.

Like, you know, it was it didn't.

The Puritans thought in like in England and like the late 1800s, they were like, oh, he is horny for his wife.

Yeah.

You got to do that shit for property and status.

Exactly.

Just it was just upholding the state.

You would just have to pervert.

A man and a woman would just like be like, fuck.

Damn. Would you get in trouble if you like smacked your wife's cheeks? Oh, it was unheard.
It was crazy. Really the state.
You would just have to... Pervert.
A man and a woman would just be like, fuck. Damn, would you get in trouble if you smacked your wife's cheeks?

Oh, it was unheard of.

It was crazy.

Really?

Yeah.

Oh, man.

Yeah, I read...

You'd be so pissed.

Like if she walked by and you were like, damn.

Oh, bro, yes.

It's over.

You had to basically ignore each other.

The more you ignored each other, the better.

So you're dancing around the campfire to the violin music,

and you're grabbing your wife's tush,

and the entire village just turns on you and shreds at you. They rip you would just be kind of like very very lowbrow you guys should be just there just keep an eye on his crops dude the sexual that's what he's getting up to around here who knows what's going on well i think that was more like the aristocrats i think if you were like like they had like um apparently they thought back then it was bad to give, like, the English aristocracy

thought that it was bad for children to eat fruit.

So the guy, who's that mathematician guy?

Bertrand Russell.

I read some of his autobiography.

I would have never guessed that in a million hours.

Bertrand Russell.

Who's that mathematician guy?

Remember Bertrand Russell?

He wrote Principia Mathematica?

Him and Whitehead?

All right.

What are you doing, Matt?

Don't get me high in a news. Yeah.
Do this conversationally. Are you trying to humiliate me, my brother? No.
He wrote Principia Mathematica with Whitehead. They were the guys who wrote a math book where I think like 60 pages explain one plus one.
He was on some high level. 10 or 10.
Yeah. But he claimed, well, he was one times one.
He was claiming they did like one plus one because they wanted math what did they think that equals to two but they wanted to be able to prove it because math here's a problem with math it's funded it's they want it to be purely like logical but math is founded on axioms that are unprovable and that pissed them off they're like i can't stand that either dude we want the shit to be yeah we want this to be like perfectly logical no faith because they were like you know they're big atheist types they hit with the one plus ones yeah they're like yeah one plus one is two but we're going to show you exactly why without you know people are like right on man but he but my whole point was he wasn't allowed to have apples when he was younger you're spinning me out because i recently i got i got into like a high tailspin about not knowing anything about math. Yeah.
Welcome to my world. I don't know.
Really? Because now I'm fixated on learning something about it. What are you at? Where are you at? I think I'm going to start with geometry.
Well, I started with an introduction to geometry video on YouTube. Nice.
Okay. Well, it was a shaky start.
Really? Yeah, because that's where the crazy, that's where the proofs are.

No, I was good at geometry.

I'm terrible at algebra, like borderline.

It's all the same to me.

You know what?

Yeah, geometric proofs, though.

When geometry gets into the proofs, I'm out.

I knew him, dude.

I don't know how I knew him.

I might be the son of Pythagoras.

I somehow, they would ask me questions of the proofs, and I'd be like, oh, it's that.

I just fucking knew.

It was weird.

Like how some people got that Genghis Khan blood.

I think so.

I've had the Pythagoras.

I'm going to click on this. They're going to go, hey, welcome back to learning math as an adult yeah i thought they were gonna give me like maybe circle and square they're gonna go all right you know circle and square let's start with like maybe the pentagon maybe trapezoid maybe that kind of shape bro they started with lines i was like oh i forgot all about lines i forgot all about not shapes at all.
I forgot about rays and segments. I'm so fucked.
Take the points. Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
And so, yeah, I'm really worried I'm going to fail this YouTube math test. Don't tell anyone.
I'm going to cram the night before. Stay up all night.
What's the test? I haven't found the test yet. I have to take some sort of metric.
Yeah, you got to take the test i told mary joe about it so she'll hold me to it yeah make sure i get math you'd be nice man hopefully i've thought about doing something similar where i'm like because i am deeply embarrassed and like you know my kids are getting older i have to help with their homework and i'm like i'm so bad at math that i i've thought about just like taking a refresher or hiring like a math tutor that'd be kind of nice i used to think i was good decent i used to think i was good at math but we recently as a family started doing we started doing this elevate uh game this like app where it has like these different brain games some of them are speaking some of them write and stuff or math and every time the math one shows up like i kind of like slink away as my wife and son take over really yeah why i thought you were the math guy though well no ansley is i am like a math guy amongst you got good grades she's a professional do you know what i mean like in a certain world i can be the math guy when i'm at home i am the language man like my wife and son are the math people we call like me and my daughters call them the white ones and we're the black. So the white ones are the math people.
That's hilarious. Yeah.
My wife hates it. We're the white ones.
We're the white ones. My daughter came downstairs the other day and she was like, man, dad, the white ones are tripping upstairs.
The white ones are so funny. Damn, that's hilarious.
the um yeah i uh you know what is cool about math though that the universe is structured according to mathematical principles or we're no i thought we applied that to it i don't think so man it's like it's chicken and egg thing we don't know it's i think it's like i think it's real i don't know music the universe is just doing its thing and we're like lining we're putting graph paper on and tracing it, and we look like fucking idiots. I don't know, because here's the thing.
There's a mathematics to music, kind of, and scales and everything, and that's inherent in the universe. We didn't apply that.
And you can take that and apply it to other things. I'm out of my depth already, but I know that the mathematical principles that are in music, you can use it to create other forms of visual art.

And it has the same sort of like...

Are you talking about wind amp visualizers?

Are you talking about wind amp visualizers?

Now you're talking about language.

I don't know.

I just think that's sick.

It's like there's a...

I think math has to be real because if you can calculate the distance

and land precisely, that means the exterior corresponds to the mathematical principles.

I'm out.

But is the universe structured around that or is it something that we use because it's as close to as accurate as possible to contextualize the universe around us?

This is where quantum physics is.

Are we in a simulation? Not that it makes a fucking difference for me, man. I don't even know what I'm saying.
This is where quantum physics is. Are we in a simulation?

Not that it makes a fucking difference for me, man.

I don't even know what I'm saying.

Well, it pumps me up.

It doesn't make a difference,

but it just pumps me up to be like,

that's sick, math is baked into the universe.

It's cool.

You would prefer if that's true.

Like the simulati sequence,

like how a shell, the way a shell spirals.

That stuff is fun.

It's just more evidence of design.

Yeah.

I don't like the idea of living in a randomly created universe, and I just don't believe in it. Okay.
So that's all. That's all.
I'm indifferent to it. I'd be okay with it, I guess.
What, a randomly created universe? Yeah. How so? I don't know.
You don't want a loving creator? I would love a loving creator. That's great.
So you can't be indifferent. But even he could have, like, this could be a Minecraft world for him where it it's just like a different seed generator.
You know what I mean? For sure. Well, you think a loving creator would make the world based on math and make like 99% of the people not be able to understand it? For sure.
And that's the fun of the server. I don't think, yeah, we probably were never supposed to worry about it.
He's probably just like, why are they fucking- That's true. They're monkeying around in the server room.
Yeah. Just fucking eat apples, dude.
There's apples on trees. Yo, they're fixing it on its OnePlus One sheet.
And now they're fucking gumming up the works. I know.
Like, why are you doing that? Yeah. That's going to be really annoying.
Yeah. But yeah, I was reading about Irish immigrants in like the early 1900s.
And like, dude, they really, their lives sucked, dude. Terrible.
Yeah. I i think everyone before or after they got here both both just getting over here and just not like not being able to eat when was this the 20s 30s yeah that's when my family got here did they really yeah yeah it was like a big deal like the dude the dad would actually like bring home his wages and not drink them away and they'd be like we can have toast and jam and eggs and like the whole house would be so fucking pumped yeah it's like i wish i could get that pumped on toast and jam and eggs i like it i'm happy i'm eating what is your family i never i don't think i've ever known this we're all irish you're irish yeah and you love toast and jam i do love toast and jam actually yeah but are you getting i'm still eating english muffins with butter and jelly and being very happy about it that is nice careful though what's though.
What's your guys' AC1? Do you have diabetes? What kind of... Why'd you ask me, my brother? I told you.
Why are you pondering that question upon me, my brother? Let me ask you this. I thought you had...
Didn't you have something like that? Or gout or something? No, I was dealing with some gout shit for a while,

but I got it under control.

There was a gout freak in Philly.

Randy had it too.

I'm sorry, Mom.

I was dealing with some gout-like symptoms for a while,

and I got it under control.

What happened?

What was triggering it?

I mean, you know, I crush donuts like every night. Well, that do gout, but not –

I'm like so mystified by this because the A1C is when you're that's like the diabetes stuff yeah that's the percentage of your blood cells that are coated in a delicious frosting yeah mine are at 5.7 percent okay well if you get to 6.3 you officially have diabetes i was just eating a very rich diet for a little while because it's like it wasn donuts, but I was also kind of addicted to grocery store fried chicken. And I was eating that.
I was genetically predisposed. Dude, I was crushing it in my car and eating a whole thing before I got home so I could throw it away.
My wife was starting to get a little worried about how much grocery store fried chicken I was eating. Really?

What do you think? I go through

these things as well. What do you think kind of

pushes you into these

obsessive eating things? I knew it was

a grocery store sheet cake for a while.

That was a bad one.

That's so crazy. I escaped that

one with no real symptoms

of anything. But have you checked your A1C?

That's my question. Nah.
I want all my friends to get their A1C because you don't know nobody knows do you have a place we can go after this yeah quest diagnostics we can just go fucking get our a1c checked right now i feel like that's that's the problem like once you're black and find out you have diabetes it all goes downhill no you can turn it around it's it's like easily that's what i just turn it around but every time i feel like things are getting out of hand i just turn it around true i just i don't need to i don't like i'm not fucking with numbers i'm not a math guy man true i just turn it around you look guys i just want you guys to not have diabetes dude i couldn't believe i had a free dive i for real was like blown away i don't even honestly i don't even believe in diabetes you say it's a psyop it's definitely not i guess it leads it leads to like every pot it fucking you. I guess.
I feel like if you're a person that gets diabetes, then it's like you're already fucking everything else up anyway. No, I think like...
I think literally like one out of every three people is like close to pre-diabetic in America. That can't be...
I swear to God. Look it up.
I swear to God. It's like something ridiculous.
And it causes a whole host of other problems.

Like your eyes get fucked up.

That's why we need European soda and candy.

That's what we need.

They're not getting diabetes like we are.

That's true.

They're ruining our snacks.

The snacks?

Oh, yeah.

You're a big junk food guy.

How do you feel about Maha?

What's Maha?

Make America healthy again?

I like it.

I need to be controlled.

I need my portions picked for me. Me too.
38% of people are pre-diabetic. Yeah.
Are pre-diabetic. Yeah, dude.
And if you don't realize it, it just kind of sneaks up. All your hemoglobins are getting coated in sugar more and more.
I think you know. They get sharp.
Dude, I had no fucking clue. But what did you have to change to fix it? I just don i just don't eat carbs anymore i just run off how much cereal at night were you eating not a lot i was crushing i was crushing cereal here and there but i was more so portion monster and i was like i don't really eat sweets that much but then i like i like was running through it the other day and i'm like oh yeah we'll get a sweet thing every time i was in the grocery store anytime they're in my house i would eat all was eating a lot of blockade sweets.
So type 2 diabetes is when your body doesn't make enough insulin to deal with the sugar intake? I don't know. I think that insulin finally comes into play.
I have yet to research insulin, but the one number one marker they give you is what percentage of your red blood cells are coated in glucose. So it's like they have literally like a sugary coating on coating on the outside and then like those sugar i think like sugar that whatever that is the glucose certain like molecules are like sharp and crystal like so then they're kind of slashing all your veins as they're moving through your body that's why like diabetics get like fucked up like blotchy skin their eyes get fucked up they can't pee after a while i think that's what it is.
I think insulin is what takes the glucose

and turns it into energy

so your body can use it.

Yeah.

And if you're getting too much glucose,

then your insulin is like,

you know,

like all the pies are coming down

the conveyor belt

and it can't handle all the glucose.

Yeah.

That's when diabetes type two.

That's type two.

Something like that.

Yeah.

It just fucks you up.

It's just like all,

you just have sugar

that's rushing through your veins

and cutting your veins

and you get all jacked up.

That rules actually.

Yeah. It's kind of sick.
That's so radical. Turn into a Sour Patch Kid.
What do you guys think about the hunk murderer guy? Oh, yeah. CEO.
Do you think it was him? I guess it was him, right? Do you think he was a patsy? I don't know. Or do you think he was a vicious murderer? I'm worried about the eyebrows in the in the surveillance photo and the mug shot i did see that those match up that's why i'm holding off and having any kind of like emotional reaction to it because i want to know if this is the real guy or not if it's really him and they called him that's an interesting outcome you know yeah if there's a whole story is straight and they and they didn't like make up a manifesto and plan it on him yeah yeah i guess guess that's kind of true.
That's a crazy target, though, because you would think, like, I don't know. It's like, don't they usually pick, like, lunatic? Kind of like, I guess he did kind of lose his mind.
He disappeared for a few months after getting into psychedelics, I guess. I'm basing this all over just, like, tweets about him.
For sure. That's all any of us have.
But it was his back hurt, apparently. That's the one thing.
A lot ofizing him and it's like i i get it i do get understand why but it's like if the back theory is true and his back hurt so bad that he girl spazzed and shot a guy that's where i'm kind of like yeah i don't know if we should totally prop this up back pain is like that though yeah it's emotional it's very emotional yeah you can't go around shooting people because your back hurts, and you're going to weep in your bed and call your wife as she disappointingly talks to you. Yeah.
I just had that a couple days ago. I follow another Twitter account that says you should never, ever emotionally make yourself available to your wife and never eat her pussy.
Oh, I saw that, too. Did you see that? I saw that.
It looks like it's written by a lady. Never eat her pussy.
I thought that was like like a tristan tate tweet no i there's like an account i follow of like a picture of like a lady just being like don't eat your wife's pussy she'll never respect you every time i like i always shrug that stuff off but that's crazy because that might be the moments where i feel most respected i know that is a i do like that that outcome where it's like you have to absolutely dominate women at all times.

It's just a funny.

I don't know.

It makes me laugh.

There's guys that aren't married, though.

They're saying this shit.

I know.

Well, you're a fool for having even done it, dude.

Tristan Tate would tell you you're a fool right to your face.

You're a fucking fool, dude.

He's got a lot of money.

I defer to you, man.

You've got definitely something figured out.

I don't know.

He might go to jail for sex trafficking.

That's the game you play, though. True.
You you gotta put your money down if you want to get in yeah either get a wife or sex traffic that's the move that's that's

a hard that's a hard penalty right there because like you're getting so much pussy that you're

like busting it in that's sex trafficking yeah like anytime you transport pussy across state

lines well you have to mislead them that's the key you can you can move all the pussy you want

in the world but you if you trick them so that's that's all i ever did to get pussy like yeah come

We'll be right back. pussy across state lines.
Well, you have to mislead them. That's the key.
You can move all the pussy you want in the world, but if you trick them. Dude, that's all I ever did to get pussy.
Like, yeah, come over and chill. This is true.
This is true. You ever see The Office? That is a slippery slope.
You have to trick them and move them across state lines. That's trafficking.

You can prove it was a nasty trick.

What percentage of consensual sex do you think is trick?

Like 95.

I would say 90.

At least initially.

Dude, me and my...

We've been together for 25 years.

Still to this day, I feel like I have to trick her to have sex.

Really?

Yeah.

What's the number one trick?

What would you say you do?

He paints a big tunnel on the wall and she runs into it. She gets a gigantic cartoon bump on her head and then he has sex with her.
Put bird seed down on a plate. I've learned that I have one.
I was talking to my wife about this yesterday. We went for a nice walk and we were just talking about her monthly cycle.
And she was yes and she was explaining to me she's like yeah i'm like fuck the week before my period the week during i'm like whatever the week after i'm like furious and then i have when i'm like so you have three bad weeks out of the month she's like yeah but then i'm really horny on that fourth week i'm like yeah it's so sick yeah let's go we have like we have there's like one glorious week per month that's so tight dude yeah dude. Yeah.
So juicy for me and nice to me.

Most of my trickery involves trying to make her think that I'm not constantly thinking about banging.

Yeah.

Banging.

And then she can eventually be like, he's been good.

Yeah, true.

It builds up.

My thing is I'll be like, I don't even want to have sex.

I just want to feel your body. Let's just cuddle for a

while naked. There you go, what's that?

Skin to skin? Yeah.

I'm a big skin to skin. A little skin to skin and then naturally

you're like, eh. That's already

a large part about dubious tactics.

Skin to skin. Let's just kiss.

I just want to kiss you so bad.

Can I just nestle my face on your face? That's all I want

to do. I think the rules don't apply to

wives. Your wife can be just blacked out drunk and it's's like any judge would be like take what's yours sir it's your property sir i don't i think they made some progress on that door i think there was a lot of like not for wives just for students i think dude if your wife's drunk that's the universe that's just the universe i've been seeing a healthy number of like am I the asshole on reddit or it's like I accused my husband of sexual assault because he took me when I was blacked out or something like that usually the woman comes home hammering is like you're not gonna be like get off me you drunk bitch you're gonna be like alright I'll have sex stop sucking my dick fine I guess I'll have with you right now yeah while you're in you know your inhibitions are lowered and i can touch your butt but yeah there should she's like passed out don't be a pig sure you can you know let her rest man she had a long day a long day let her rest and then guilt her in the morning be like we're supposed to have sex someone was too drunk it is i i dude i don't like when women are drunk to be honest no not at all you don't like their behavior i just don't like it man I don't like when women are drunk, to be honest.
No, not at all. You don't like their behavior? I just don't like it, man.
I don't like it. My grandfather was right.
He told me when I was a young man. He says, nothing worse than a drunk woman.
I tend to agree. I tend to agree.
It's a fucking liability. They're a hazard.
A drunk woman is genuinely a hazard. They're out of control.
They already have to be monitored at all times. I feel like most women should walk around wearing a helmet at all times.
Women helmets would be nice. Yeah, it would be pretty sick.
Women helmets, just general padding. They step on...
Ow! They bump their heads so much. Ow! Yeah, true.
They get hurt. Yeah, they get hurt.
They get hurt. They're constantly bumping their heads.
You have to stop them from walking off the cliffs and shit. You're like building structures around them as they walk through life.
Nothing worse, dude. You're like Mr.
Magoo, like flitting around trying to keep Mr. Magoo safe.
I have such a low tolerance. It's something I'm working on.
I have such a low tolerance for the ouchies. Like if my wife bumps her knee and is like, oh, I'm sitting there like, you're fine.
You're all right. Get up.
Come on, you're fine. I don't know why it makes me so mad.
I'm like, that's not that bad. Why don't you try paying attention to where you're going sometimes it's ridiculous you know what really sets me off is if i if i banging into something really loud like i'll hit my head on like a ceiling fan or something and never had that problem what i have some low ceiling fans that was a bad example but i'll bonk right and then i'll i get a really sick feeling in my stomach because I know she's going to, without coming to me, she's going to go, are you okay? And that makes me madder than anything else in my marriage.
And so now the joke around the house is like, if I stub my toe or something, everyone takes a deep breath and goes, I'm fucking it's the worst are you okay shut the fuck up my shin is throbbing right now oh what happened nothing although to be fair almost anything that is low enough for Butterly to hit his head on, he will make

contact with that at some point.

Yeah.

I have very poor vision, an enormous head, and slightly above average height, dude.

It's a recipe for disaster.

Yeah, it does suck.

Stopping your toe.

Okay.

Fuck off.

Shut the fuck up.

Am I okay?

Yeah, I'm okay.

My wife's a big, let me see it. Let me see it.
No. No, fucking don't touch me.
Fuck off shut the fuck up. Am I okay? Yeah, I'm okay.
My wife's a big let me see it

Let me see it. Yeah, no no, let me I didn't know fucking don't touch me get off me

Let me let me just see it. I gotta see it like no and without fail

She'll tweak whatever it is and I'm like that fucking hurt

Chaps my ass they need ice. They don't need fucking ice.
Yeah, I don't know if I ever used Neosporin before my wife started healing. I will say it is miraculous what it does to a cut.
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That's all I want to do. That's exactly, dude.
I mean, what the fuck am I doing with my one time of my money? I can times it by 1,000. 1,000.
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Pleaseane let me just let me just please how do you play because i'm looking forward to the pick miss the pick miss spectacular let me break this down shane you know about the nba and nfl right of course so we got nba and nfl on christmas day again so let's make some picks for the games on that day i like anthony edwards to score more than 26 points on Christmas day. And it's against the Mavs.

I don't know if you know about that,

but I mean,

Luca and those guys,

they swept them last year.

Did they?

Yeah.

They,

they fucking swept them last year.

So,

you know,

he's going to want to show up.

He's going to be hungry.

He's going to be hungry.

He's going to show up with the spotlight.

He's hungry.

You're going to let some fucking white boy fuck up his Christmas.

Exactly,

dude.

That's a bullshit. He's going to want the spotlight on him, But, I mean, dude, the football games are pretty good, too.
Yeah, Chief Steelers. I'm excited about that.
I like the Steelers' defense to shut down Patrick Mahomes. You know what, Matt? I don't know.
I was going to say that. That was going to be my pick as well.
Picking less on his projected 239 passing yards. On 239 passing yards.
Yeah. But it is Christmas.
The boy might have to put on a show for us. I know.
I know. Although they haven't been able to protect him very well, and hopefully a healthy TJ Watt gets home.
I'm going to go less. You're going to go less.
Patrick Mahomes passing.

How about 239?

Do they have, what's his name's, Travis Kelsey's numbers?

No, they don't have Kels up here.

I think, no, they don't have any Kels.

What do you think about Kels?

Less on Mahomes.

I don't know.

I'm going to have to see what the number is because I couldn't even guess.

I would imagine it's Christmas and T.D. Swift's going to be there, and he's going to want to put it on a show for his baby.
Yeah, for T.D. Swift.
That's going to pump you up if everyone's just slamming your mega famous girlfriend. You're like, I'll fucking show you.
Yeah, I'll show you with this touchdown. You're like, come on, fuck you guys.
Yeah, spikeable. Yeah.
So, yeah, I think that's a good i i do value this conversation i think it's a good idea and you can combine up to six points dude you can combine up to six picks dude this is the thing i really wanted to sit down and talk we're taking apart the podium when I'm getting back. It'll never die, dude.
It'll just move and go on. Podium's sick.
No, I'll get in there. You got to get the headset on.
Dude, I mean, look, we talked about Patrick Mahomes. I think that was an incredible take, by the way.
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And they're just giving and they're just giving everyone 50 bucks yeah dude they don't want to give you 50 bucks that's nice yeah they're just fucking this is what christmas is all about what episode is this going in uh one it was me sitting in butterly someone that we're gonna talk all right nice little stoner dads little stony dads. So yeah, we're going to toss it in.
We can probably just keep it rolling. We could just fuck it.
We could just rip. What are you doing? I just got it.
I got it from getting my motherfucking massage. Oh yeah.
You just got your glands sucked. No, I wouldn't put it that way.
I got my, I got my, but is it a guy or a girl? It's a girl. It happens to be, if it were a guy, I didn't care.
I was like, look like look i'll take you wouldn't care if it was a guy no i dude i it would have fucked that if it was a guy i'm not i'm obviously i'm capping right now if it was a guy i wouldn't i can't get it yeah i mean because your lymph nodes you have one right on your hip if i were to i don't need to like demonstrate but it's like hip is matt i'm right there so it's like yeah look it's just my body i didn't put my lymph you've got tubes there you do you do have some dude here i want to give this is something i do want to i actually wanted to bring to your attention i have an idea for a live show i'm going to try to do it at the creaking cave. I want to see what you think about this.
I wear the headset on stage, walk around, and I would let the audience step up to the crowd to a microphone to ask questions. It's a simple Q&A, but during the Q&A, I got to bust out 1,000 push-ups.
While people are asking questions, I'm just ripping push-ups, and then I pop up and I'm like, You have thousand in an hour yeah in an hour can you rip a thousand in an hour i'd have to prepare myself for that but i do like the idea really hard having people ask questions and just ripping push-ups on stage with a headset and then as they finish their questioning i can pop up and be like i'm glad you asked then answer the question to the live audience bro that's so hard i know i I start preparing myself for it but i mean it's really you know it's 110 times in an hour so i yeah that's really hard if i practice i think i could bust it out and i think you can get now in an hour not a lot right now i'm pretty weak but i could start doing modifies on stage if i started doing modified state count it's better if you're not prepared it's significantly better if you end up getting like 48 push-ups in an hour totally guessed the thought of just like doing physical exercises in front of a live audience while people ask you questions is me i don't know why it makes me laugh it is very funny So you're thinking like a Ben Shapiro owning kids. No.
It's you doing pushups. It would just be a free form Q&A.
So there's no, nothing, no thing driving it. I don't want to argue.
I don't want to fight and fuss with people. It would just be, they could ask whatever question they want.
Bring up any topic. I think you're going to want to direct it.
You're going to want to find some topics. Yeah, you think so? Because if it's just fucking Q&A, they're going to be like, how do you come up with your material although that's funny if you're doing a push-up that's that actually you know what you're totally right because i i did uh jeremiah walk and stand up on the spot recently and people would just be like tires talk about time i can't do stand up about that true um yeah i'll just be doing push-ups people going shane i'd be like yeah dude yeah fuck yeah i'm coming back dude there's there's some babies dude i'm coming back the babies are falling i think the babies are falling off yeah the babies there's still there's a couple babies i got on twitter and guys he was being a baby don't go on x dude i was i i get depressed every time i go on like instantly instant depression every time i go on yeah right it's i go on x and i've been trying to find out about the drones and there's nothing you can't find out anything dude i i tried to do that i was like yep i'm on the news i'm watching the news this is all i'm doing and i just scrolled i did the death scroll on x and it's like dude you feel like schizophrenic when you get off yeah i watched i watched a bunch of muslims a guy to death.
It was fucking horrific. My algorithm is like secrets women don't tell men, and I read those threads nonstop.
I don't like that. They're kind of nice.
I don't like that. Babes have found their way back into my algorithm.
I don't know what happened. Babes are back? Babes are back on the menu, dude.
I get those and I get like, there's new accounts that take like Andrew Tate type teachings, but it's like, they pretend it's from a hot lady. It's like a weird kind of digital femdom.
You can get like red pilled through like a fake hot lady being like, never eat a woman out. Women never respect you if you do that.
They must submit. It's pretty sick.
It's from a hot lady saying that? I could just be an Indian guy, but it is, uh, it's the picture's a hot lady, so that's all you need. Sometimes you need an Indian guy, you know what I mean? Sometimes there's things in an Indian guy that can do that, you know? True.
This is true. Nobody can work my spot like a fucking indian guy on the internet i'm telling

you i got an indian guy all like deep in my head right now just pretending to be a girl just telling

me all the stuff i gotta do to maintain frame and i'm like telling myself it's from like a hot lady

telling me this and i'm just like how are you what do you know what else you have to do to maintain

frame other than not eat not go down on them never eat the bar in india that's no offense to them

that's gotta be a pretty fucking easy rule to follow true not a lot of oral going on over there

Thank you. on them never eat the bugs in india that's no offense to them that's gotta be a pretty fucking easy rule to follow true not a lot of oral going on over there i doubt yeah i doubt although dude i don't know man if you put me in the swirl of that dude i mean just as vibrant just vibrant spices and stuff i could like get yeah you get used to it i get i could just get totally lost in the dizzying aromas speaking of dizzying aromas i got i got it's easy to be you know xenophobic when you get in an uber and it smells yeah but i i can fight through that i'm like all right whatever it smells weird that's fine i got in a fat uber the stink dude yeah did they complain the whole time did they complain or no i was was so close to complaining.
It was a battle of fats complaining.

I got in the backseat.

I didn't say anything, but I was close to putting the window down,

which would have been, I feel like, too mean.

I'm like 20 degrees outside.

It would have been warranted to be like, dude, you fucking, you kind of stink, you're stinking.

Smelled terrible.

It is nice though, because if I get a fat Uber driver, it's easy to tip them in. I just don't know.
I like to get them kind of complaining a little bit. So all you got to do is be like, oh, fuck is that guy? And they'll just start a fat complaints.
This guy drives like a fucking ass. Fat complaining spas.
They are quick to hit the complain button. Dude, I'd be complaining.
I mean, for real, if you're carrying all that extra stress on your joints it's like yeah that's like a serious form of just kind of like uh stress reduction you just gotta start to complain and be like fucking yeah and then driving driving uber is tough and then yeah yeah because you're only getting fatter every day yeah so you're just kind of but anyway guys smelled the fat smell destroys american fat smell we got to stop complaining about indians smelling yeah they have nothing on our american fats yeah true american fat has like a chemical component to it it's like it's no there's no disgusting it was like vaginal oh so bad yeah it's like fish yeah yeah that's anyway what else is going on not much dude just fucking uh that's all i have to report i got an uber with a fat guy that's good a stinky fat fat smell for real is i i would do yeah i would do the streets of calcutta any day over like a hard even like a vague fat smell that i'm like is it what's going on yeah i've been looking for the drones i've been keeping my eyes peeled out here talk to an alien i talked to an alien guy how'd it go sick dude i i it was a pure happenstance i was like yeah i'll talk to an alien guy james fox he did he did like he was actually a big time alien guy i didn't know he was like he did like multi ton of documentaries he sold to like different networks he fucking blew my mind dude he was talking about do you know about camp penis in uh brazil camp penis it's camp it's campenas in virginia in brazil i swear to god yeah penis is in brazil it's a regime or something like Vagine Brazil.

And dude, it was he was talking.

He was talking about the UAPs and he just hit the fucking Campanhas.

And I was like, hold up, bro.

It's my Panias.

But yeah, he was a man.

People fucking grabbed this like alien craft crashed in Brazil.

And this guy tried to touch the alien to bring him down. And two people who touched the aliens died, according to James Fox.
I went in UAP, totally agnostic, and now I totally believe, dude. The truth is definitely out there somewhere.
The truth is out there. So, yeah, the UAPs are having a moment right now.
That's what I'm all about, just people having moments. LeMaire's having a moment right now.
Why would LeMaire about just people having moments lamere's having a moment right now why would lamere do he did kt lamere did kt oh and it went uh only two weeks ago is it on air is it on youtube i mean yeah it's on youtube and the dude dude a guy went on there with just his hair was so fucked up it was uh it was funny he was straight like grade school comb down, but he was losing it. So it was just like lines that he then took like some sort of marker mascara to like cover the, dude.
And he was like, he walked out and people literally laughed. It was a mothership full of people laughed on site, still had no idea.
He's no clue. He's just like, uh, okay, cool.
And he starts doing his jokes. And, his jokes and uh and then we just started you know we're just like fucking with him and then tony convinced him to shave his head so he actually shaved his head in between the things and he looked great he came out it was like a really nice moment for like you know that like you're on that show it's just dudes it's just guys getting like just beaten down it kind of wears on that guy got fucking queer eyed yeah dude he got he fully got queer i don't kill don't you'd look so much better like this he totally did and it was dude it was like totally it was i i you know i'm like okay i can't really see it obviously i'm straight as hell but it's like he was so right he was so right and it was like a nice moment where i think he like changed this guy's life and then the dude he's like yeah come back in a month we'll check back in with you the dude signed up for the very next week so you know those episodes don't air right away so he comes out gets in the bucket pool which you know it was just everyone's like i was rigged but it's like why would he pick that guy twice because it didn't it didn't air so no one knew what this guy was talking about so he was just like by the way too after he's on kill tony changes uh his instagram to like whatever his name is on kill tony so it's like it's just like his whole life now he comes out on kill tony the next week beating like one to 300 odds and just is like talking about his shaved head and the whole crowd's like what the fuck are you talking about because he's not really funny at all he just completely blew it but lamisi was holding it down he did good let me just having a moment dude he did that uh he was on stand-up on the spot lamisi is totally having a having a moment right now.
Good. Yeah.
It's good to hear. He better hurry up because he's got to move out.
He'll not get home. You got to put the boulder behind him, dude.
Yeah. It's coming.
It's coming soon. I got to do a bar crawl.
Billy broke his leg. What did you say? I got to do a bar crawl tonight.
Billy broke his leg skateboarding. Not my fault.

So, yeah, dude.

There's a lot of drama. Bar crawl's going to be sick.

I'm a little jealous.

Bar crawl will be sick.

My plan's to eat a weed gummy to slow myself down, but we'll see.

I'm here by myself in this haunted fucking house.

You're by here lonesome.

Yeah, my lady went home for a couple days.

I'm just here in this fucking spooky-ass house, dude. Yikes.
I'm afraid the entire time I'm here. Yeah, dude, I was scared.
The whole time. I'm so scared the entire time.
He told me it was fucking like all the room and it's haunted. I was fucked up until you like that.
It's so scary. It's an old house.
I look outside. The front porch is right here.
So you can just walk. Somebody walks by.
I think I see people the entire time. I'm looking out my window.
Dude, you might have a sixth sense. The only cure is brewskis.
The only cure is a couple brewskis. I'm like, fucking ghosts aren't real.
Fuck ghosts. You're like an old farmer on his plot.
It's so scary. I don't fuck with old houses.
I don't like them, man. They freak me out.
I don't like old houses. I like them when someone else is here.
True. Yeah, that's kind of nice.
By itself, it gets very spooky. Until they get gripped by their ankles and ripped out of bed.
You're like, dude, you got to go. You're honking.
Don't joke about that, dude. I'm going to call Blizz.
I'm going to have Blizz sleepover again. That would actually be a funny sketch sketch to have paranormal activity but the dude's too big and the ghost can't budge him he's like he doesn't even wake up he just farts in his sleep and the ghost oh fuck it's scary and the laundry the laundry's in the basement in the fucking dude forget it original basement it's so scary forget it dude i don't have a basement in my house now they don't have a lot of i guess in austin they don't dig down for basics but my garage has become the basement i got at the end of the night check if the garage door's shut scared out there i get scared looking into my garage.
It's scary. There's definitely a guy fucking.
He's been waiting in here the whole time. I open the garage and it's like, you know, you just see stuff in the dark.
But I hear you, bro. Yeah, I took a shower last night.
I was terrified the entire time. Thought I heard stuff like six different times.
Thought I heard something. Dude, I'll just be sitting here playing Xbox and pause the game and go.

All right.

Go back to playing.

I got to get back to Austin.

I'm ready. Yeah, it'll be sick, man.

It'll be right in time

for the chilly weather right into the warm.

That's fine with me.

I'm excited.

Yeah.

At the driving range with Gerbys and o'connor today how's that golf balls it was nice that is not everybody is a golfer it's very fun he's good he's a he's a bagger yeah he's good he is bagger he's helping chris was he really yeah chris is chris is just naturally good at it chris is dumbass and like like, TJ Maxx and bought, like, a golf outfit to go to the driving range. Why? He's wearing a fucking glove.
What? He bought a golf glove. He's got glove money now, dude.
It's crazy. He's got that glove money.
Season two money came in. That does.
I see him as a glove guy, though. That suits O'Connor.
Driving gloves driving gloves popped collar fucking fleece i was wearing this i was wearing an eagles hoodie you know and sweatpants o'connor did he tell he decided to really just kind of get into his whiteness today yeah it's not hard it's not hard to get him in there he's a new englander dude you know what i mean I mean? He is. Three-quarter zip, golf club.
And Gerben's fucking

country club's right across

from like a horse,

like an equestrian

fucking thing.

So there's horses outside

and it was very white.

It was a very white thing.

You got to join

the equestrian club

and just menace him

on the horse

while he golfs, dude.

Yeah.

Try the horse.

Just booting it, dude.

Just shirt off

and just be like, Gerben, keep watching Kirby's be actually good at golf piss me off dude you get if you just got to gallop by him on a fence like whoo move peasant I like to make fun of those country clubs the poor country club he's like you you want to go to my course or the other course I'm like I would never go to your course dude it's for poor people it's actually pretty nice it's so yeah but it's so funny to tell someone they belong to a poor country club because they wear poor people up so bad it's like like, oh, that one is kind of a poor country club. Yeah.
It's a poor people country club. He's like, it's the only one that let Jews in for a while.
Oh, that's so fucking great. Yeah, it's pretty good.
Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, I'm excited.
I'm truly excited to get back down there. Yeah enjoy dude enjoy the holidays and you know i'll be excited to have my fucking i'm back to doing nothing like we finished yesterday was the first day without doing tires and it was like hill yeah just woke up i jacked off so my girlfriend wasn't here just jacked off you needed that dude you needed a you needed needed a moment it was great like that just finish i haven't been able to treat myself in so long i'm so fucking sick dude it's crazy when you take time off and you like blow your mind you're like dude you're like yo porn rules i haven't seen it in so long porn's so good dude if you take time off it for real like blows you you get like seventh grade brain on porn if you.
If you take time off, it for real blows.

You get like seventh grade brain on porn.

If you just really take time off, you're like, oh, shit.

Yeah, that was a nice street.

I think that lady's having an orgasm.

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

Shit rules.

I got that going for me.

Nice, man.

Other than that, dude, the big deal for me is Friday heading heading out to notre dame dude it's gonna be sick and i'll have a guest with me that'll be awesome i'm excited i'll be there we have a good we have a good squad going i know i think i'll be there at 4p okay sick yeah i might already be over there so sick um yeah i'm excited about it it's gonna be no name better not fucking lose to indiana dude oh either way i'm gonna have my long undies on because it's gonna be 17 degrees it's gonna be so cold definitely long undies and you know i'm excited bro i can't wait be fun nordstrom brings you the season's most wanted brands skims mango free people and princess poly all under 100 from trending sneakers to beauty must-haves we've curated the styles you'll wear on repeat this spring free shipping free returns and in-store pickup make it easier than ever shop now in stores and at nordstrom.com this episode is brought to you by call of duty calling all call of duty fans verdansk is back in call of duty war zone starting on april 3rd you'll be able to drop back into verdansk experience all the chaos and relive the thrill you've been missing not only will you get the classic battle royale experience we all know and love, but Verdansk is back with upgraded graphics and gameplay. That's right, you'll be experiencing Verdansk like never before.
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It is going to be really cool. And then the problem is if they win, that means, I mean, I got to go to the Sugar Bowl, dude.
You'd have to. If they win, I got to head down to New Orleans to watch the take on the Bulldogs.
You'd have to. That would be actually sick as fuck.
Georgia Bulldogs? Yeah. If they win, you might be good luck.
You might be spending New year's day in nola true um all right i'll let you go all right bro good talk to you man i'm gonna go get some dinner and uh dude it was great talking to you and i'll have back my you know i'll have to say i'll be able to stop meeting people which you know not my favorite thing to do in the world i've had to meet people all month not the best of that that, but 2025, we're back. It's just fucking...
Didn't we put out like a best of one year in this past? You pieces of shit. No, we're good.
We're covered. We're good until the new year, dude.
Then we'll just fucking rip. Yeah, I'm super excited to get back to work with you in a professional manner.

Exactly.

And, dude, let's just put out the best of again for this year.

Like the old one.

Yeah, put out.

Well, I don't know.

Second to do.

Best of back then might not be.

They might not hold up.

Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe.

No, I'm glad to hear LeMair's doing well. Gardini's in a diaper.
Nate's doing well. Yep.
Everybody's doing good. Yeah, Gardini's, his hiney's messed up, but I think he'll get through it, so.
He'll be all right. It's good he took care of it.
I would have ignored whatever that problem was. Dude.
He got a cyst on his ass? It's something like that, yeah, it's something bad. LaMare just had one of those.

I had two.

I've had them before, too.

Everyone's getting cysts.

I didn't have one for a while.

I've cleaned up my ass.

LaMare's burst into fucking urgent care, and he said it smells.

Yeah, it's a wake-up call. You and LaMare's assholes are up to the same thing.

You got to start switching it up.

You got to figure something out.

All right, bro. I'll see you bro thank you prize picks prize picks thank you let's get back to stoner dance you're not actually supposed to use ice on injuries like the guy that came up with the ice injury theory it was like rest ice whatever.
He recently came out and was like, I was wrong about that. The inflammation that you get when you get an injury is actually your body.
Like the platelets are rushing to heal that injury. You need that.
So you shouldn't be icing. And then people were like, fuck that dog, we're icing.
We've been doing this and it works. And he's like, alright, never mind.
Never mind. Just ice if the ice is heat good then? heat and movement you're supposed to heal things with like warmth because that helps the blood rush and then movement of the thing so that it doesn't get stagnant in like atrophy or whatever else happens to muscles can't wait to tell my wife that my wife's a big icer I can't wait to tell my wife that.
My wife's a big iceer. I can't wait to tell my wife.
And then if you're killing our children. It is in their brain.
It is in people. When you tell them that, they're like, what you're saying is retarded.
The same guy that told you to ice is saying he got it wrong. Yeah, he was wrong.
I wonder if the hot shooter was trying ice and that's why his back wasn't getting better. He was down his platelets and had to shoot a guy about it yeah i'm so i don't know how i feel about it everyone is celebrating him and i'm like i get that but i'm like is that ultimately the best move to be like yeah dude yeah prop some shooters up i didn't i didn't know much about the shooter at all all i all i kind of fixated on the fact that he got away on a city bike really Really? Yeah, that was the thing.
And I was like, damn, city bikes should use that in their advertising. Like, that is, dude, he got, like, it was a citywide manhunt for this guy.
How did he do that without putting his credit card in? I thought that'd be, like, the most traceable. Like, if you took a lime scooter away, they'd be like, yeah, there it is.
I feel like if the urban kids figured it out. Yeah.
They're able to hack the system system i feel like if you shot a guy and you're trying to flee for your life you think he was also wheeling against traffic the whole way he was like riding the city bike with no hands the whole time just throwing off the trail giant speaker in the basket yes the city bike getaway is pretty crazy yeah but i think he's probably not the first guy to get away from a crime like you were saying on a city bike.

But I wonder how people hack those.

That's kind of nuts.

People can hack lime scooters, too.

You can hack a lime scooter and do burnouts on it.

That's cool knowledge.

What do you need?

You probably need like a Flipper Zero or something for that.

I want a Flipper Zero so bad.

What is that?

It's like a little hacking device.

You want a Flipper Zero?

Oh, man.

It's this little hacking device, and it can connect to Bluetooth and Wi-Fi and a bunch of other near-field protocols and shit, and you can reprogram. You can take a hotel key and duplicate it.
What? Is that how people break into cars? It has a physical key thing where you lay a physical key over it, and then you can match up the notches on the little interface on the device and then take that and get a key printed to replicate it. Yeah, dude, I want to commit some felonies.
That'd be cool. I want to do some high level crimes.
I would like going into other people's hotel rooms. Yeah, that would be great.
Number one, traveling with your boys. Be so tight.
And really fucking with them. It's petty theft.
Yeah, dude, you could go crazy. Oh, my God.
Imagine pulling off a kidnapping prank on your boy in a hotel. That would be so sick.
Or just an ultimate scare prank. Would you go supernatural? Jump on him.
In bed. While they're asleep.
Jump on. Imagine when you have your friend screaming at the top of his lungs in pitch black.
It would be a JKSA. Come here, boy.
Give me that motherfucking ass. Let me get that ass real quick.
Just choke him. Let him pass out wake up like fucking kidding dude i didn't fuck your ass yeah you're passing now but i didn't fuck you i just fucking jerked you i jerked you a little bit just to make you believe yeah stop crying though yeah that would be terrifying i'm like always ready for that to happen in a hotel room get jerked a little no i'm already i'm trust me i'm taking care of that.
I'm covering my bases with that. That's your rape whistle.
You're already pre-jerked. No one's getting me up, dude.
I've depleted myself. Yeah, I just hear like doors slam and I always assume it's mine.
I'm always like, ugh. I'm like ready for someone to try to bum rush me.
Do you ever have like the staff knock on your door? Is that what bum rushing is? Like getting your butt rushed? Bum? I don't know. That's a good question.
Or maybe bums of the old, you know, bums of the old times just rushing you. Huh.
Yeah, I think bums used to like World War Z people and just throw their bodies at an obstacle. I wonder what is a bum rush? Now I'm curious.
If it is like getting your bum rushed, I feel like that is the most dominant fear as a man. Like having anything penetrate your butt consensually.

For sure.

I think it's a, even consensually is a big fear among men.

But the, I think the, it's got to be a military term if I had to guess.

Okay.

Like B.U.M.

Like an acronym for something?

Maybe.

Yeah.

Okay.

I want you to know what the fuck is coming down.

What's it mean? Bum is slang for tramps and lowlights. Ah.
It started in the early 1920s. Yeah, it's a bum.
It's probably in your book. A bum Russian.
It started in the 1920s. That was the Jack Black book where bums.
I didn't talk about bum Russian. But they used to do a thing where they would take migrant farmers.
They would like catch guys coming off of a like getting onto a railroad from like working in like Utah for a summer farming. And then you'd have all your wages for the entire season.
And they'd have like homeless. They were called like the hobos or like the tramps.
They called them yeg men back then. Yeah.
Which was because the Chinese people when they saw homeless guys would call them yek. They'd go yek man.
Yek man. And then really you go with the Chinese people and they'd have some food and they'd be they go yeah man yeah man and then really you go with the chinese people make kind of some food and make yuck man yeah but they you know whatever but they would like catch people who work imagine working for a whole summer having all your money from that summer and then a guy just coming into your like train cart being like give me your fucking dope i think that was all travel it was just like eventually you were outside of anyone paying attention and yeah you have to worry about the highwaymen.
Exactly. And, well, the railroad guys would be in on it, too, because they would team up with the bums, and the bum would be like, show me, let me in the room, and I'll split it with you.
And then they would take all your money, and just like, you're like an immigrant farm man. They would just kick you off the next stop, and you'd just end up in North Dakota with no money.
You were stuck. Back then, you were like, there was no go-fund.
Start walking. No go-fundmies.
That's just where you lived lived from then on and you had to just like pray to god that you didn't die but you know you know like the the the chinese um they go ni ga no i didn't know that you know about that yeah so there you go they that's their um their um is is a ni ga so i'm wondering if like that phrase came from like chinese people just confused about black people. And they just kept saying, ni ga.

That's crazy.

I didn't know that.

I knew they had a word that was close.

Yeah, it's their filler word.

When they're trying to figure out, ni ga, ni ga, ni ga.

And then when they finally get their word.

Three times the genie Shaq. Shaq food, baby.
I love Shaq, bro. Yo, Shaq? I'm happy he's getting paid.
Papa John is crazy. Him doing the Papa John.
I still can't get over that. Papa John said the N-word.
Next thing I know, Shaq just has like a million dollars. Some of them.
That's crazy. Shaq Genie.
Yeah. What about the Subway choking guy? What do you think of that case? The subway choking guy got...
I don't know the exact details. So I saw the Black Lives Matter guy being like, he was...
That clip, I will say, it's very sad, but he was like, they're going to choke us for being loud. Yeah.
Not the best of her, bro. I mean...
Bold words as the movie theater industry dies around us. Yeah, we need to do something about it.
That was kind of great. I was like, come on, man.
Yeah. Anything else.
Politely turning is, that's not working. Yeah, dude, but I don't know, what was the details? Was he threatening somebody? Was he like.
Yeah, the year on the train, he said, I'm ready to, everyone's been on the public transportation with the guy that says I'm ready to die today and he was I think he he made the threats to everybody he identified himself as an immediate threat damn and then the giga chad jumped on his back and choked him out held him I don't know if he ever actually choked him out I think he just held him there for a long time what and the struggle sort of it's like a white belt fucking spaz yeah hold on so the guy died in a a wrestling match? I mean, right after it. From what, though? I don't understand.
Embarrassment from getting choked by a white guy? I don't think he got choked. Depending on who you ask on Twitter, it was either a combination of drugs and hard living, or it was the guy strangleholding him for six minutes.
So he was strangleholding. He had the rear naked choke.
Not fully sunk. Dude's my thing.
If you're going to go nuts on the subway, you've got to be wrassled ready. Yeah.
You know what I mean? And it's like, you know, I don't know. He didn't shoot the guy.
He wrassled him. Right.
So it's like, that is not great. But it's also like, dude, here's my thing.
If there's a homeless white guy who's being a dickhead on the subway and someone wrassled him and died, I wouldn't even blink. I'd be like, all right, fucking later, dude.
Yeah, some of them go that way. You weren't wrestled ready.
Some of them do go that way. Did you see the detail that when, I guess, the cops or the EMTs got there, he was still alive, but they didn't want to do CPR because he was yucky.
What? Yeah. Yeah, the EMTs showed up and got the ick, and they were kind of just like, it would just, you know.
Hang out here. Let's just bang on his chest a little bit.
My thing is. Wake up.
Come on, man. Wake up.
Come on. It's okay.
You're okay. You're okay.
He was already gone. He's already gone.
Yeah. Like there's a small percentage of the black community that if they lose a fight to a white person, they die.
It's over. Yeah.
They just can't. They disappear like Obi-Wan.
Yeah. It's just.
They they just integrate and blow into the... Yeah, I mean, again, I don't really see...

For me, it's like...

I don't know, man.

He was popping off.

Yeah.

He's popping off and he got wrassled.

He played the game.

He played the game.

He got wrassled.

It's a dangerous game.

And I mean, if he was like fucking physically choking the guy out, I don't know.

Here's the thing.

If a guy's going on like threatening women, like I'm going to...

Was he just...

What was the threat?

That's a detail. I think it was like, I need resources and I'm ready to kill Here's the thing.
If a guy's going on, like, threatening women, like, I'm going to, I don't, was he just, what was the threat? That's what, that's a detail. I think it was like, I need resources, and I'm ready to kill and die for them, essentially.
I'm paraphrasing. I need fresh water and food, bitches.
It was like, I'm starving, and I need money, and I'll do anything for it, and I'm ready to die, and I'm ready to kill, or something like that. Okay.
He was, that was his terms. Yeah.
He was playing a game of life and death. That's rock, paper, scissors, shoot.
Yeah. Throw your your head it is so funny for a guy to be like yeah all right i'm gonna fucking choke this guy out but he might have been getting people's faces my thing is like say he did swing and like punch a lady in the face if it was if it was building up to that yeah i mean there was there was an old asian lady that was about that was only a matter of time you're saying An old Asian lady got clocked.
You're saying he was stopping Asian hate and he's a hero. He might have been.
I don't know. Yeah.
Yeah. It is funny too to think that like, you know, if you have some sort of martial arts training, there is something in the back of your mind where you constantly want to use it for good.
Obviously. But then you're also like judging the situation where you're like, you see somebody aggressing.
You're like, okay, but not that guy. He's big.
You know? And then like. That's not even worth it like yeah he finally met like the situation and the guy he'd be willing to fight like sneak up on behind and it all came like that's like yeah it's what are the odds i think that's a it's a problem but it's like to build that into like a social injustice i'm like nah man that's a fucking crazy homeless guy who got wrestled yeah on the train he died so that's that's not like a systemic again, the guy.
I think that's where the public is going to go with it, too. Yeah, I don't think nobody really.
The guy got off. Yeah, your honor.
I'd like to plead fuck around and find out. He fucked around.
Yeah, he did. He fucked around.
And he found out. And those were his terms.
I am willing to die. You know what's going to be crazy, though, is that he's going to get a, like, influencer boxing offer so he's gonna get like 10 million dollars to box like a canceled like kick streamer you think so like pewdiepie or something yeah well they're they're uh i saw a post recently that was like their shooters and it was kyle rittenhouse and like our shooters and it was like ripped insurance guy Luigi that's the most suspicious there's no way there's a guy

a 30-year-old guy named Luigi. Yeah.
That's so sus. True.
That is kind of weird. I did see a lot of the Italians should be ashamed of themselves.
I saw a lot of my Italian compatriots being like, we're back, baby. It's like, don't.
We up. That's disgusting.
Don't that on the pedestal you don't you don't think there's not a part of you that's like yeah let's go yeah i mean it's like it's cool but it's like i i don't know i don't know anything about that guy the ceo of health care like insurance companies are fucking brutal but i don't know enough about that guy to be like i think he was uh probably responsible for or again i'm just reading tweets i think he was responsible for uh like an automated claim denial system that like really started uh racking up putting the screws to people yeah that's terrible and then there was also uh i i think yeah i don't i don't sympathize i don't empathize for the guy at all i get it like i do get it but i'm going damn dude if a bunch of people start CEO spazzing, that's fucking. What would that look like? What does it replace him with other CEOs? And all those guys who are shooting people.
It's going to be the worst job in the world. You're going to be forcing people in the corner offices and they're going to be like grabbing onto the walls.
No one's going to want to be a CEO. Take the fucking stock option.
You can't do this to me. I'm a family.
Here's my problem with it. All those dudes would love to also be a ceo who are shooting ceos like yo dude we're gonna put you corner office a million dollars a year they're gonna be like well yeah sweet yeah they are that is take charge attitude by shooting somebody kid we like what you it's like the hacker that gets hired by the fbi it's like we like what you got you're just sitting in a corner office with a gun every day waiting for your match.
Well, it's going to be CEO. There's going to be so much security now.
Schools need people with guns, CEOs. Yeah, my school just had a lockdown.
He was lacking. Yeah.
He didn't answer the door, lacking like a mother. But these are also the pull yourselves up by the bootstraps people.
Lacking's your responsibility. Dude, I couldn't agree more.
You can't be fucking lacking. Don't let me catch you lacking.
Every time I take my trash out, I'm not packing, but I'm walking around just being like, I'm always ready for the bum rush. It's just unfortunate reality, but I am for real.
Anytime I take the trash out at night, I'm like... What? You're saying couldn't be me.
Couldn't be, bro. Mustn't be me.
Mustn't be me. When I open the door, I kind of will peek.
That's how you get someone. You open the door.
Wow. Yeah.
Kind of like look out, see who it is. I'm like, dude, can't be me.
I'm not trying to get got. I mean, I could get got.
Anyone can get got. But I'm really trying not to get got like that.
Why'd your kid's school get locked down? Somebody wrote a note on a gym locker stall that they're going to shoot the school up. And they wrote was like a day and then that day was crossed out and then next to it was the next day.
Oh shit. A little rain date.
Yeah. Actually I got a lot going on that day.
I'm going to come back on a Wednesday and shoot the school. I got a doctor's appointment I can't miss.
I'm supposed to get a lollipop. A new fortnight battle pass drops that day so I'm going to give myself 24 hours with that.
Yeah, so there was a frill. Was that the first time you guys ever had a school shooter? Yeah, it was a big lockdown, and they wouldn't let the kids leave their classrooms, and some of the kids were pissing their pants because they wouldn't let them go to the bathroom.
What? My son's classroom figured out that they would put a trash can in the closet, and he just pissed in the trash can, and my son was so pumped And my son was so pumped How long was this lockdown? Like three days? No, it was like a whole school day I'm kind of jealous That the kids of today get to do lockdown Tough in front of the girls I would wish I had that opportunity To be like, yeah, let that motherfucker come in here, bro Just flipping my dong out Ladies, I got you Don't worry. You're sharpening the metal edge on your ruler.
Yeah. Dude, in my son's classroom, they barricaded the door, and some of the boys picked up weapons.
And they were waiting for it. They were wishing the motherfucker would.
I was born in the wrong era, dude. Yeah.
That would have been so sick. Just rallying the bros.
He'd be like, bro, I'm going to fuck this guy up so bad. You got them all hocking in the room waiting for the door to open.
Just your cross just be like, give me a kiss before I got the battle, babe. I'm going to go take a shit.
I'm going to go take the handle off the broom and break it in half. I was kind of born for this.
You might not be able to tell by looking at me, but my dad's black. You wouldn't know from talking to me, but believe it or not.
But there was no suspect or anything? They got one. They got a suspect.
It was in the girls' locker room, so it was a chick. It was a chick's fast now.
Nerds now are like Middle Eastern guys after 9-11. You know what I mean? Those guys would fly and be like, what the fuck? There's a good note like that.
Everyone's looking at every nerd.

Yeah, yeah.

What, you have a bad day, dude?

Yeah.

You got to fess up to what you did?

Yeah, you got an anime trapper keeper?

We got to watch this guy.

Are kids getting bullied like that anymore?

Or is it just like pure nerd rage?

Yeah, I think it's just rage.

It's a move.

It's a vibe.

Yeah, bullying.

I don't know if it's a vibe.

It's just a vibe now.

Yeah, it was just...

It's just a vibe.

It's a vibe someone gets on.

Yeah, this is a viable thing.

I can just be the school... There's goths.
There's bullies. There's school shooter guys gets on.
Yeah, this is a viable thing. I can just be the school.

There's goths.

There's bullies.

There's school shooter guys.

I'm just going to fucking wild out.

Yeah.

It's the parents' fault.

It's your fucking parents' fault.

There's no way, dude.

If your kids are like, I'm going to fucking shoot this motherfucker up.

It's like, it's purely the parents.

Yeah, there's not enough at home to rebel against anymore.

Like, parents aren't giving.

That's the new rock and roll.

Yeah.

It's shooting up a school.

Did you see that?

Yeah, my parents said, I can't shoot up a school.

Yeah.

Listen to a One Direction album backwards is like, do it.

Yeah.

Get the gun.

Gun loose.

It's so annoying.

I wish...

Hopefully this fad dies.

Yeah.

Shooting up a school.

Has it been one in a while?

Well, we have any wood in our...

We're definitely in a slow season, I think.

Thank you. I think the, yeah, I think once I get this.
It's like the main driver of pharmaceutical advertising sales. They kind of are like hoping for one.
Yeah, it could be a close loop system. Because this is the girl.
It could be a close loop system. Yeah.
Yeah, I don't know because I think there was, the last time I followed it, I got kind of numb to the school shootings. But then I saw there was a lot of like involvement from a community that people would hesitate to meet.
The last like two i think have been trans am so then that like he took on a thing and everyone's like i don't want to talk about this anymore that was just my look i might put a value judgment on it but i did hear that was going on and people started being like let's not talk this is just probably a lot of overlap in the in the the pool you know the the path of the school shooter and the path of the early troon. The early troon? What the fuck? You know what I mean? The young...
No, please. Go on, my brother.
Please elaborate on this. It's all just autistic kids.
Yeah, I think so. I think so.
I think it's deep autism. Yeah.
Yeah. They had like My Little Pony for a while.

That was an option.

Can we cure that part of autism?

There's got to be a way.

You just give them enough Sonic the Hedgehog that they don't hurt anybody.

We've got to drop the new Sonic.

We've got to drop the new Sonic, dude.

For peace. We should just totally state fun the Sonic franchise.

If we put Sonic in a pill and give it to them every day.

Otherwise they turn

pure a button.

Sonic in a pill.

Dude, Sonic is so

unbearable to watch

except for people

who have autism.

It's crazy.

Yeah.

You can't pay me enough

to watch Sonic, dude.

I'm like, I have nothing to do with the movie.

I don't know if they think it's good, but it gets them very horny.

True.

There's like a pretty, I don't know what the percentage of the population is, but there's kids, but there's no more compelling thought than Sonic the Hedgehog being pregnant.

Holy shit.

Their eyes are just glass over for like significant chunks of the day they're just like what if tails got sonic pregnant that would be pretty cool yeah i guess i could doodle that sonic's a boy i know that's what makes it so interesting yeah i was laughing i was driving i think last night thinking about this how like you know every it takes thousands of years for people to organize themselves with the ability to gather enough resources so they can philosophize and get abstract. Word.
We've gone through the Greek society, got themselves the Romans, and America did that in a pretty short period of time. And it's funny.
We're just sitting around us being like, what if I chomped off my penis? What if Sonic was pregnant? He's wasting just like so many battles and hardships. So you think the trans community are just modern day philosophers? I mean, it's a part of philosophy.
They're a thriving and robust society. They're a symptom of it.
Yeah, it's not even just them. There's like philosophers of gender studies and there's like other philosophers.
They're like the aesthetics. They're like actually doing it.
They're like in the cave meditating, chopping off penis. Yeah.
Yeah. That's like a big thing.
It's like a it's just like we you know we like handled matter in ancient Greek time and now we're up to like what to do with our dicks and pussies. Like what should we really do with this? What's the next tip? You're always on the next tip.
What's after this? What's after what to do with our dicks and pussies? I don't know. Or is that it? That's it.
We're in the end game. No, never on the final frontier.
Or do you have to start

worrying about what... I should

worry about what you should do with your dick and pussy.

We're moving through that right now.

Next, it's going to be our brains, by the way.

It could be. If Neuralink takes off or whatever

competes with Neuralink, we're going to

forget about dicks and pussies for a while and be like, what do we do

with our brains? Be big on our brains. Actually, the

dick and pussy are just going to be getting in the way of

having direct access to the chemicals in your brain. That'll be like the static on your satellite dish.
When you're getting boner, you're like, God damn it, I can't fucking remember everything. Fuck, turn it off.
Shut it off. Fuck it up by Neuralink.
You just get snow. It's like...
You're just reciting every single king of every European country, and you're like... Fuck.
Hard as hell again. That's that's gonna be crazy giving over your entire nervous system to the cloud just so you could have access to wikipedia in your mind i mean very tight it's gonna be really fucked up it will be fucked up yeah i think because it'll never stop because every new invention changes the world a little bit so that you then have a new conception of the world which leads to new inventions which new conception it's a spiral helix.
Then there's a genetic modification so that your babies can just come out the man. I don't know, dude.
I think people are going to get, I think it's already happening where people are getting real into like pseudo farm life. People are going to probably dial it down.
The new generation is going to get into like- They follow a lot of homesteaders on YouTube. Yeah, it's going to be that for a while, but with the Neuralink.
I don't know how to grow my crop. I don't know.
I honestly don't know. I think we'll get

we will get over like the whole

kind of like the argument's not even so

much like the physical chopping off your penises

and stuff. It's like, does your penis

actually define you as like an

identity? That's the question. It's a deep

philosophical question.

You know, I would say my personality

is much bigger than my penis.

Okay. Don't sell yourself short.
No, but that's the question of our time. It's one of them.
Does your genitalia actually have, is there a reality that the type of genitalia you have dictates the way you'll be in some sense? Or is it totally a blank slate? Yeah, I think we're, to take a step back, it's like the way you need to come okay dictate that more you know and we just have to be talking about like reverse cowgirl yeah it's like however like whatever way getting blown from behind yeah like maybe maybe maybe maybe puff maybe p diddy is a victim you know maybe he just achieved so much status that like he could start exploring all the different ways he needed to come you know victim of his own success you're saying for sure for sure victim of his own maybe of society's constraints you know like maybe he's not gay maybe he's just like he got to the point where it's like I need to come right now there are no women in the room there is a wormhole there's like a quick like um if you're getting that much

pussy as he was probably getting you can easily hit a wormhole and go full gay like it's not i agree that it isn't his fault in that regard where it's like i mean if you have your fourth like i mean what's that's nirvana but it's nirvana for ultimate pussy guys you reach the the final and you go i was it was gay the whole time yeah i was yeah it was just all it was all gay transcend body and soul

it probably doesn't

feel gay

it doesn't even feel gay

it's just like

it's like convenient

you're like

f*** and you go, it was gay the whole time. It was just all gay.
You transcend body and soul. It probably doesn't even feel gay.

It doesn't even feel gay. It's just like

convenient. You're like hanging out with your boys

and you need to come

and you don't want to stop hanging out with your boys.

Yeah, true. So you slip them a little

and I'll start the party.

Pause the PlayStation real quick.

Tom, we gotta do this.

We got a 69.

Because that was like the Cool Borders era too. Is he pausing Cool Borders at 69? With like a dude in the baggiest pants? I don't know, Puff.
I'm about to hit the 1080. Yeah, that's a fair point.
It's like, you know, but again, there was all the deception. You you know with like the drugging potentially I don't know yeah but even that probably gets to a point where it's like Tom consent's getting boring for P.
Diddy for P. Diddy we're philosophizing I love consent consent's my favorite thing I'm not at the P.
Diddy level, and I probably never will be, so I'll never

be able to figure out whether or not

consent could get boring.

But P. Diddy, everybody wanted

to fuck him. He was having no problem

fucking anybody he wanted to fuck, and he was like,

this sucks. I need

to... I need excitement.

You need a challenge. Maybe he was waiting for someone to say

no.

I think a lot of these people,

he pressured them to go along with it,

but I don't think any of them were just like, I'm not really into Thank you. Maybe he was waiting for someone to say no.
I think a lot of these people,

he pressured them to go along with it,

but I don't think any of them were just like,

I'm not really into it, man.

Like full stop?

Yeah, I think he was thinking eventually someone was going to say.

What wasn't invented at that time was period.

So you remember it was like period.

So it wasn't like full stop.

Yes, exactly.

Full stop.

We didn't have that yet.

That technology wasn't invented.

We didn't talk to the hands. No one talked to the hands.
That was just to slow somebody down. Yeah, yeah.
You can move right there. You're just buying time.
That's a yellow light. Talk to the hand.
It wasn't yellow. Yeah, it's a yellow light.
And then you can be like, as if. As if wasn't even.
As if. Can you sex with me right now? That's in your dreams.
We didn't know how to say no back then.

It didn't exist.

Dude, the word the, you know the word the is unique to, I think, Western languages.

Not all.

I think there might be some other cultures that have the word the or some, like, equivalent

to it.

But, like, there's a lot of other cultures that don't have the.

And the word the allows you to bring other, like, verbs and adjectives into a noun state and abstract things that other cultures can't do. You're making me furious, right? No, no, think about that.
I refuse to think about it. Think about good.
Good is an adjective, but you can say the good, and it turns into a noun that you can kind of abstract and kind of think, like, what is the good? What is good actually? I thought it was kind of sick. So Eastern languages don't have the? Some, I don't think some do.
Yeah, like Asian languages. They have what, 10,000 years of spoken language to figure it out? No, duh.
They forgot the? They forgot the in forks? They didn't know it. It just wasn't there.
Just like we just learned no, for real, in 2020. We didn't know what it was.
But yeah, dude, they don't have the. That fucking freaked me out.
Native Americans were like all verbs.

I like that.

I was kind of sick.

I kind of like that.

I don't know.

How sick is the, though, dude?

How sick is the?

That was pretty sick.

I was just bugging out on that the other day.

I was like, damn.

It's a very high thought to see if in your mind you could define the word the.

That's what I'm saying, dude.

That's a fun little struggle.

It's like I.

I is like crazy. That's me.
No, that like crazy no that's me some cultures don't use I some like African tribal cultures they don't have ownership of things because it's all like a community based culture so they don't have an I so they speak in things where it's like like you said, they don't have the either, but they

speak in things almost as if it is the

because it's like a community.

Yeah, but that's

different. That's a collective.
The is

just like that thing. That thing over there.

But they don't have

what about that?

That right there?

What about that?

Nah.

Nah, I ain't having that. Damn.
Bring that ass over here. No.
What? The hell are you talking about? No. Was that the first no he just did? Yeah.
No! It sucks because you are like, you know, we're all organisms seeking pleasure. And to have that like, no, you have to just be like, you're going to stop your whole horny body and be like, fine.
That's actually no is violence against men. Curse you and your evil smells.

What is the no even anyway?

Let's bring this into the abstract realm.

This no you speak of, what is it?

Jesus Christ.

God damn it, dude.

All right.

Well, I think we did it.

Where are we at here?

About only 50.

What are we at here? We got plenty of time. Oh, an hour or nine.
I'm looking at that 50 going, what the hell? That's been definitely an hour. I can feel it in my bones.
Feel it in my motherfucking bones. What do you guys have? Anything burning on your minds you want to talk about? Did you? No.
I just have a bunch of dumb shit I've been scrolling past in my head. Only the most retarded stuff.
I'd like to hear it at least. Did you hear about the teacher that all the kids were being bad, and she said no one can go to the bathroom anymore, and all the kids pissed themselves, and she got fired? What? Yeah.
No? Yeah, I think all the kids were like your girl's age. How bad? What? Like little, little kids? Yeah, it was like that.
I told you guys. I told you guys to calm down, and now no one can go to the bathroom and all the kids piss their pants and the teacher got fired.

Yeah, of course, dude.

The whole class pissing themselves is crazy.

That is crazy.

After one piss, you'd be like, all right, you guys can go to the bathroom.

Oh, that would suck to be the first piss.

Dude, you're all tapping your feet on the floor, not trying to be the first pisser.

Dude, I think I would have jumped on the chance to be the first pisser. Really?

That's a green card for pissing your pants.

Yeah.

When you're a little kid, that's like, all right Alright. How old were you? Yeah, but four or two.
How old were the kids? Like four or two? I get to piss my pants and my mommy can't get mad at me? Yeah. Also, little kids, if you're like, you gotta piss your pants, it's not that off the table.
I don't know. I know a kid in second grade that pissed his pants in school and he had to change schools.
Yeah, second grade's crazy, but if you're talking like four or two year old, four is a little much, but two, two year olds will piss. Don't give a fuck, dude.
Yeah. I know they're on there.
Like Chloe's on her potty potty training right now. But like if I were to be like, I'm going to wait till you pee your pants, she'd be like, all right, pussy.
You just pee your pants. Fuck you.
Change them, bitch. Dude, shit.
Having to change all those kids at once must have sucked. What would you rather do? Change 18 kids, peed pants, or have 100 guys have sex with you? Get piss in his eyes? He was crying.
That's a lot of piss. That's a lot of piss.
That's more piss than 100 cums. Oh, the smell.
The smell. The smell.
100 cums or 100 pisses smell. It'd be like 18 pisses.
Yeah, 18 pisses or 100 cums. That's a dank smell.
It's dense. It is dense.
It's very dense. It's like a medieval tavern.
The combination of both, that's a medieval tavern. 18 pisses and 100 cums.
100 cums is crazy. There were no 100 cums in medieval times.
That was one. You don't think so? 100 cums? Yeah.
The entire village had to split that in a year. They'd have to burn the village down.
That was like you'd get like two. You'd have to throw torches on your thatched roofs.
Yeah, you'd be out by yourself. Dude, if you had a medieval guy smell 100 cums, they would like fall to their knees.
And be like, my god. Now, everything smelled back then.
True, everything did smell. They might not even notice 100 cums.
True. It might not have.
The tannery on the edge of the village fucking reeks. Do you think medieval people smelled their cum? Like they would bust a load and be like, taste it.
My God. Because it probably wasn't gay in medieval times to taste your cum.
Yeah, but I mean, you had to get through the winter and ingest a little bit of it. Yeah, true.
You know what I mean? There wasn't a thing being like, that's when guys suck each other. They didn't know about that.
So they're probably like, big time. Do you think they called each other gay back then or was that off limits? I don't think you could.
I mean, I don't know. I think that was like crazy.
You're making some pretty serious accusations right now. Yeah.
I'm actually going to run this pitchfork through your body if you say that again. I don't know what you're doing with your voice and smiling right now.
They didn't know laughing at all. That would be such a sick use of a time machine to travel through time and call people gay and just see how they react and take notes.
Walk like a gay ass mother. Then be like, excuse me? And you'd have to explain, no, I think I'm accusing you of having sex with another man.
It would freak them out. They couldn't even conceptualize it.
Just hit him with a 69. The crops weren't stable enough to ponder gay.
They're still eating rabbits and shit. Dude, that'd be so funny.
That'd be pretty wild. There's that guy, I can't stop watching his videos on YouTube, where he has a convenience store on the south side of Chicago.
He does gay. He calls, he'll just do gay.
He'll insinuate that black dudes are gay. He'll hand them a pink lighter.

It's a full medieval spaz.

I can't stop talking about this.

One of those convenience stores, a guy was doing

that and somebody left, got in their truck

and drove into that convenience store.

Really? Yeah, it happened just recently.

Yeah, he's playing. He's playing too much.

Yeah, he was playing way too much. That's my thing.
It's like, oh, this is injustice.

It's like, yeah, bro, you're fucking around.

I got your ass.

Yeah, yeah.

He found out. He fucked around.
He found out.

Yeah, but now, what do you think that was like real? You think that was staged? The truck? Yeah. It could have been like, let's get the numbers, dude.
You get the insurance claim. I'll know.
Someone's going to jail for that. You hit the fucking.
Yeah. You run into the motherfucking snacks.
You crunched all the snacks, you jerk. Yeah.
You can't crunch snacks. Not from the community.
You fuck up the snacks. That's going to be a big thing, though, of convenience stores.
It is a funny idea. Because a convenience store is just like, you know, a convenience store in the hood, you're making what? Like maybe a thousand bucks a day? I knew someone who ran a convenience store in like, I don't know, wherever the fuck it was, like Oak Lane somewhere.

They were breaking down the numbers of the convenience store.

It wasn't crazy.

You make a living,

but you can make way more.

My whole point is you can make way more

doing the streams.

So if you're using the convenience store

just for the streams,

you probably can make way more.

You ever watch the YouTube guys

that run laundromats?

They make that look pretty attractive.

No, what do they do with that?

They go around,

they collect all their quarters and shit. They go, here's how much money I made.
And they count a bunch of money and they go all right man thanks for checking out the video see you guys next time yeah they break down like the economics of having a laundromat and all their locations of vending machine guys watch those yeah what's the numbers what are they how much are you pulling in from the laundromat uh i don't know like i think i've seen people where they were like i made three thousand dollars this month that's passive. You know what I mean? But then I think they probably do better from being a content creator.
Yeah, true. But it's also, but they're coin rich, which is sick.
That is cool. Being coin rich is nice.
It's like Scrooge McDuck. Yeah.
Scrooge McDuck. Always want to do that.
Being coin rich is actually kind of nice. Just to hear it.
You know you have a money counter. You just have like a coin of those coin counters coin star in your house a great sound to have from the background did you ever hit the penny arcade or like the coin star coin star yeah i lived on the coin star for a stretch there that shit rules dude yeah you ever get 40 from a coin star and be like oh thank god that's awesome it's the saving your change i i saw there's no better feeling when that when that receipt prints out and your checking account is overdrawn that's like that is it's indiana jones grabbing the hat under the door babe good news i can get home from work today yeah i did i didn't like the grocery store ones because i did take their cut and i'd always be like you motherfuckers but uh But TD Bank had Penny Arcade.
That was free if you had a TD Bank account. Okay, yeah, I remember that.
And then you could guess your total. I won a lollipop one time.
Did you really? Oh, yeah. One time I got close enough where they gave me a hat or some bullshit.
Damn. Pretty bad.
That's my day. Yeah, I got something nice.
I might have counted it beforehand, too. I might have cheated.
Oh, I feel that hurts. You know, can you edit that out?

Don't let them know that I cheated.

That puts me in a really negative light.

I kind of lump my quarters up in a way to give me, you know, an educated guess.

Yeah.

I'm like, dude, what are we fucking psychic?

How the hell are we going to know how many coins we have?

As long as you know in your heart that you didn't count on a single one.

Also, you know what's sick?

Saving ones.

Save all your ones.

And after like a month, dude, you're like, holy fuck, dude.

Dude, I keep a pocket full of change. Do you really? I love having change on me.
I don't know what it is. Really? Yeah.
I'm jealous. You like the jangle? Yeah.
I like being able to pay for things in exact amounts. Yeah.
You know? It does feel good. But I never use currency anymore.
I'm always using my phone. Yeah, me too.
I was always jealous of those guys. Could be like, here, I'm going to give you this.
Give me back the whole dollar. And I'd always be like, how did you fucking do

that, Matthew? That fast? That's crazy.

That's a baller move. I was always like,

yeah, you win. Here's your dollar.
I don't know how this

works. I don't even know if I gave you the right change, but yeah.

Here you go. That's how much change I have with me right now.

What you working with? Where'd you get that change from?

Did you fly with that change or did you break the bill?

I constantly... No, hold on.

I constantly have to empty the thing into my hand. Let me see what you got.
I'm going to show you guys both, and then you're going to estimate. Let me make sure I have all the change.
Wait, you flew with that change? I flew with that change. Dude, come on, man.
That's crazy. I'm on a hot club, though.
Ready? Ready? Let me see. Let me see.
Let me see. Let me see.
Let me see. Let me see.
Let me see. Let me see.
All right. That's your peak? I got a tiny peak.
I got a tiny peak. I think $1.75.
$1.75. Oh, shit.
I just saw a second little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You saw it a second time too, right? Yeah. All right.
So what's your... Can I change it? Yeah.
$2.25. $2.25? I'm going to go with one cent.
There's one. Wait, what's your guess? I thought $2.25.
$2.25? Let's go to him. $2.
$2.75. Oh, damn it.
Yeah, I got that second look. I said that's about $2.20.
That's in the $2 range. That was all for us.
Well done, man. Hey, you know, hats off to you, man.
You want fair and square. What are you going to do with those? I don't know.
I just always have a pocket full of change. Because I never use it anymore.
I never... It's a good reason to have it on.
Yeah. Yeah.
You see one of those mechanical horses, you're like, I'm feeling like Ryan today. Yeah.
Getting a tiny fire engine at the supermarket. Got to put you in the yellow.
I'm always ready, though. Ooh.
This is green. Dude, I can pop in the arcade right now.
You'd be trying to find dollars and stuff and trying to make change. They don't do coins in the arcade anymore, man.
Don't act like I want to ball out on a power card. Please.
I'll get $180 on that thing. Look, I don't care what you say on this podcast.
Don't act like I want to ball out on a power card, dude. You're crazy.
I actually just got balled out on a power card the other day. Okay.
Where? Dave Buster no it was some other type of like a similar bowling arcade place a lot of the machines weren't working I almost wanted to talk to somebody like dude what the fuck kind of operation you're running here power card is fucking janky as hell not working on this shit stop sign because it's not scanning are you taking my points right now? Excuse me, I'm trying to play Fruit Ninja. I spent $200 on Fruit Ninja and it's not working.
Well, get someone who can. Try to play four-way ping pong with my four-year-old daughter and it's not working.
Nothing worse than a fucked up air hockey table. That'll make me.

That's depressing.

Do you guys care about anything?

Yeah.

Half the thing's not even blowing air.

Dude, I get pissed when I put the puck down.

A dead spot?

Bro, a dead spot in the air hockey table.

It's fucked up.

Some fucking bullshit, dude.

No one cares about anything anymore, man.

Yeah, it is upsetting.

No, customer service sucks now.

It's crazy.

Yeah.

It's so fucking bad almost everywhere you go. I'm astonished.
If someone's like just even mildly pleasant, I'm like, what the fuck? Yeah. Let's become a CEO.
You're going to get shot, dude. Be careful, bro.
Watch out. Yeah, customer service is taking a hard nosedive.
That's almost more understandable. Like you heard like a cashier got shot.
Like, well, you know. They've been acting up.
Did they greet the guy? I think they do get shot a lot, actually. I think this guy actually did get shot a lot.
They do. By the bad man.
Yeah, shooting a cashier is crazy. Yeah, but they be tripping.
They sometimes act like you can't shoot them. I think the guys who shoot them come in and be like, I'm going to shoot this motherfucker and take all this money.
The cashiers do pop off. They do.
They pop. I think about it.
The power of money just flows through you all day. Yeah.
Did you ever see a phone store guy that they tried to rob and he stabbed one of the kids to death? What? Yeah. Okay, everyone else has seen it.
These two kids come into a phone store or something and they try to jump over the counter and grab all the shit and the guy running the place pulls out a knife and grabs one of the kids and the other kid runs and he's just starts stabbing him and the kid just like bleeds out on the floor and he's going i'm dead i'm dead you ever seen that video i don't know i've seen videos like that it's pretty funny i i saw i have seen a stabbing video i didn't know it was a phone yeah or something he died. He died, though.
Yeah, he definitely died. Yeah, he died.
Yeah. And the cashier posted the video himself.
Like, you know, they tried it. They found out what was up.
Did he get in trouble? I think they tried. I don't know if he was convicted or anything like that.
Did he have that thing? Did he have that thing on him? I don't know. I think the one that got away did.
Yeah. Yeah, I don't think the one that was left.
He had I've seen those videos where they shoot guys that come up behind 7-Eleven, they blast them. It's just 40,000 comments like, that's what you get.
Yeah. That's what you get.
And it's like, yeah, I mean, it's a dangerous game. You ever see Indian guys defend a 7-Eleven? That's cool.
Yeah. That's really nice.
There's a really good one where a guy comes behind the counter and they just start hitting him with like brooms and shit. They're not really doing any damage

but like they're definitely getting some Indian aggression out.

Yeah. Yeah.
True.

You bloody bitch bastard.

They're hitting with bitch bastard over and over again.

He had to get pulled off.

He was like going ham. He had to get pulled off.

True. Throw some fucking taquitos at him

just scalding hot.

Ah.

Ah. Just trying to throw him some of the words molten cheese in his ears like a medieval torture they should have the cheese barrels just come down oh that would be so sick ah like when castles have defend the line defend the line come out the hood goes crazy on you dude you have to barricade yourself in there yeah that's hey man yeah if you can't be an armed robber You get killed That's live by the sword Die by the sword Yeah Pretty honorable Yeah I don't know what it is Maybe I'm just fucked up But I don't get riled up All the stuff people get riled up about online Like I just see it I go like Okay I'm in the mode I just get It's all an abstraction I don't know that guy I stay in I mode I mode yeah I'm the guy guy Yeah I just watch that shit And I'm like I don't know that guy.
I stay in I mode. I mode, yeah, true.
I'm the guy. Yeah.
I just watch that shit, and I'm like, I don't know. I don't think we guy.
You shouldn't be having a reaction to it. It's almost like abstract information.
It's so far from you. There's almost no way it can impact you.
It's none of my business. It's a huge mistake to constantly just be seeing stuff and be like, you know.
It's for real like a mental disease. But then there's like the thing, but then there's the spaz about the reaction because the Black Lives Matter guy was calling for black vigilantes.
And then people were like, can you fucking believe this? And it's like, oh yeah, it's all the same thing. Shut up.
It's people spazzing out. People in bots.
You're all dipping in the same punch bowl. Exactly.
It's like, well actually we're upset now. We're deeply offended.
And it's like, dude, get the fuck out of here. Yeah.
Go take a walk. Get a fucking life, dude.
Get a fucking life, dude. Get a fucking life.
It's not going to, I don't know. It's just that shit fucking.
Let's get a PS5, man. Just get a PS5 and shut the fuck up.
Yeah, do something, man. Just go fucking, I don't know, do something else and read it.
I can't believe a lot of it's fake, but I really, I think people are genuinely reading it and engaging and freaking out and being like, oh, this is fucking bullshit. Yeah, it's half people being tricked by the dead internet, and the other half is bots.
What is the dead internet? I've never really had that explained to me. Was I talking to you or Swim about it? I think I was talking to Tom about it.
Dead internet theory is that almost everything you see online is not real. It's not real people.
And then when you see real people engaging with it, you kind of look at them and be like, you're being tricked. Do either of you guys go on Facebook still? Every now and again.
I don't really post that much. What's popping on Facebook? I'm mostly on Facebook Marketplace.
Facebook Marketplace is kind of nice. Some characters there.
Yeah, it's kind of nice. I went off of Facebook for the longest time, and I went back on here and there.
People are like, oh, I messaged you on Facebook. And every time I go back on there, I'm like, oh, my God.
It feels like a ghost town to me. I like look at it for seeing my boys celebrating wins, and I like those posts.
And as soon as I see something complaining, I get right off Facebook. Yeah.
Facebook's crazy. I can't believe it's still going on.
There's nothing happening. Yeah's a dead zone.
How's the Philly Comedy Network on Facebook? Is that still people spazzing out? No clue. Haven't checked.
No, there was a... I saw...
Because I saw one was... LeMaire's still lording over it.
Is he really? Is he still hold the reins of that thing? I think so, yeah. Yeah, he might.
There was the dude, the black comic that also used to drive cabs, or maybe it's a taxi driver.

He put something up, and people went

ham on him, and I was just like,

I got it. Yeah, I'm out of here.
I might go back

to the Philadelphia Comedy Network and

start some sort of multi-level marketing

comedy thing. It's like, you guys

want a big podcast? You might have to get

in line.

I have internet lessons, and have people sign up and just rip dude i like the hawk to a thing too the coin yeah the coin hawk to release her own cryptocurrency cryptocurrency and then just she rug pulled them you think she rug pulled or you think she i don't think she had any idea what was happening i think to to right now i don't think she's learned a single thing about it. Yeah.
She was rug pulled as well.

There could have been dudes.

No, she benefited from it.

Yeah, she probably made money.

But there's probably dudes who are like, we're going to set all this up for you.

Or it's like, whoosh.

They're doing it to MMA fighters.

It's like a roving horde of tech wiggers in California.

Why?

What's the draw?

To be like, this is a unique coin.

It's going to rise.

It's like a penny stock, basically. Yeah, they go, look, there's no better way to capitalize on all the recognition that you're getting.
It's never been a hotter time for you. What we can do.
This is we're going to build a community. It's going to be like a financially independent community around your identity.
And you can't lose. You know what I mean? And then the first day the price shoots up, they rug pull.
And then the celebrity is standing there like, what the heck? Thank you for the 1515 million, but everyone's really mad at me. Everyone's pissed.
They're the best of people who are like, I lost my life savings in the Hawkeye. I don't believe that's any...
I can't believe those. It's got to be a bot.
You'd be surprised. There's people probably like, it's a no-brainer.
Beanie Baby people. People that thought thought beanie babies were the way of the future, so they invested their life into beanie babies.
Oh, the original rug pull. Yeah, those same people are the people that are like, this Hawk Tua can't lose.
It's too big to fail. They talked to a pog advisor, and he's like, look.
Babies are hot right now. Well, did you see a 10-year-old did a meme coin, and he got like 30 000 i was like gotcha like cashed out and right now i think he might be in big trouble but then i think i think and then i think they they boosted that so like he could have made like 12 million dollars if he didn't like rug pull in the first you know hour or so i mean how can you play with 12 year old that's so powerful.
That'd be tight. Rug pull.
Matt coin? Rug pull would be nice. You call it rug pull? Like, I'm going to tank this.
Dollar sign rug pull? I don't know how that works, but you would need your own independent blockchain for that, or is that just like, what even is it? Nobody knows. I mean, the one person who would know.
I think there's people fan mowing you their money, and you're like, oh, look. It's up.
Yeah, I don't think there's people demoing you their money and you're like oh look it's up yeah I don't think anyone's like inventing new technology I think they're just like copy and pasting the framework of every other coin and then you just give it a cool name and have like an endorser that's all you need really you could probably do it yourself there's probably some YouTube videos for how to do it what if I turned it into an an NFT? Now we're talking. That's old and busted.

Is it really?

That's dusty.

Talking your meme coin into an NFT.

Yeah.

I never understood that.

People were like, no, you can just start one.

You can do like a picture and then you like sell it for $30,000.

Yeah.

Yeah, I never understood that.

I can agree.

No one's paying $30,000 for anything I can produce.

Might be a surprise.

For like a drawing or something or an internet?

That'd be crazy. I don't think none of them were like great art.
I think it's just like they want to be on. It's attached to you.
You know? Crazy. Crazy.
You got to meme up. Yeah, I should meme coin.
Time to go crazy. Meme coin, rug pull.
I promise you won't rug pull. I'm out of the game.
I'm going to rug pull. That's the whole point of this.
No, you have to promise that you won't though. Oh, right.
I definitely won't. Then I will.
No, there was. Okay, so there was the way that they argued back was that they said they weren't rug pulling.
They are saying other people were driving up the price so they could, you know, dump. Dump real quick.
Yeah. And so pump and dump, I guess.
And so but even if that is the case, what they did was they had a high transaction fee for all of the purchases. So even if they weren't the ones doing the rug pull, they were getting 15% on every transaction.
So they still pocketed, you know, $20 million or whatever. Yeah.
Even if they didn't do what everyone is saying that they did. Well, I don't know.
I'm just going off what CoffeeZilla said. yo shout out coffee zilla man shout out zilla yeah yeah it is uh i mean again it's like i've no disrespect to the tua but it's like it's a non it's like a non product it's like a non it's like an offshoot of like a weird like there's no real value people are no one wants products anymore man we're past that true we're.
Yeah. We just want to, like, monetize weird personalities and just be like, fuck.
People just want to think about a weird thing and then have money assigned to it. That's all.
That's true. Well, that's pretty sick.
That is pretty sick. Yeah.
I'm going to do it. I'm hungry.
Ooh. Whoa.
Great idea. Let's go munch.
I'm starving. You guys fucking rule.
Thank you so much. Thanks for having me.
Thanks for bringing it. Thanks for flying us out here and putting us up in the lap of luxury.
Yeah, dude. What can I what else can I do, dude? I can't believe it.
What else can I fucking do? Thanks for making me feel like I have to jerk you off. I did feel safe when I got it when we got in a hotel and saw how nice it was.
I felt sexually pressured. Yeah, guys, in.
How bad do you want it?

No, we're just going to chill and play some basketball at my house.

Life's going out.

Yeah, shirts and skins.

It's naked basketball.

Tonight's naked basketball for sure.

That's the best part of the weather down here, man.

You can play naked all year round.

Don't you, man? I'm trying to get my status.

No, Rogan showed me it, man.

It's cool.

I'm trying to defeat Noah in my life as well.

That's the point of it.

Enjoy the room.

Enjoy the rooms.

The cool walls in that place.

The walls are so cool.

Bye.

Thanks, Remy.