96: Feta Tambourine with Mike Vecchione | Soder Podcast | EP 94

It's here.

The golden retriever of comedy tour.

It's

in here.

September 5th and 6th, Stand Up Live.

Four shows.

Two Friday, two Saturday.

September 25th at the United Theater in Los Angeles, LA.

I know it's downtown.

I know no one goes downtown, but I promise you, I'm bringing a very good show.

It's going to be worth your time to go downtown.

September 25th, United Theater.

Then the next night, the 26th, I'll be at the Moore Theater in Seattle, which I'm very excited about.

And then the 27th, Revolution Hall in Portland.

Portland, you sold out.

So I love you.

Thank you for selling that out.

Seattle and LA.

Pick up some tickets.

The shows are going to be very fun.

Dansoder.com for all dates announced right now on the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour.

Thanks, and I'll see you out there.

I'm going to teach you how to text.

That's my whole goal.

Text?

How to text with warmth.

Why?

Mine's just too direct.

Too, way too direct.

Dude, your shit is.

You don't even have.

I'm not wasting time, right?

Guess to you.

You have

grilled chicken nose seasoning texts.

Do you understand me?

I think the words you're looking for is navy seal.

No.

There's no efficiency.

Chat GBT would go like, chat GBT GPT.

Now it's fucking with my head because Katie was like, what are you calling it?

And I was like, chat GPT.

If we gave that to AI, your texts, AI would go like, are you mad at me?

That's how we're judging stuff now by AI.

Who got to you?

Are you even a...

Are you a hologram?

I've never even been real.

This isn't a program.

You're asleep.

You're still at school at Penn State.

You thought microphones are going to be portable?

Can I quickly change the subject?

Yeah.

I got in pretty easily to your building.

Hey, it's my apartment.

Here's his apartment number.

By the way, the front

little to no security.

Well, at least bleep out the numbers.

Yeah, he'll take care of me unless he wants me dead too.

In which case, all these people I thought I was close to just want me fucking murdered.

My point is that, well, I'm trying to protect you.

I'm actually trying to protect you.

I don't think you are.

I could have got in here and slit your throat by now.

I could have slit your throat.

You're doxing me on my own podcast.

That's a wild move, especially as someone that I want to say was the security of 2555 31st Street.

Well, you had all the machetes, which I thought was odd for some reason.

And you gave me one.

This is for you.

This is for your room.

Yeah.

You didn't even say it was for me.

It's for your room.

I bought a Rambo knife that I lost.

I don't know.

I think it's here.

It's somewhere.

John Jay?

Yeah, I bought a giant John Jay Rambo knife.

Wambo at the Edmonton Mall at the Army supply store.

And then I mailed it to myself to our apartment, which I proudly probably held for a day watching TV, maybe put it on our coffee table.

Could you have your WCW belt on or off?

First off, WCW, who buys the WCW replica belt?

I had a WWF winged eagle on our wall.

You're welcome.

Right now I have the WWF

World Tag Team Championship.

I'm sorry.

So, but why don't you go ahead and come in here and give away my address

with your fucking

boring texts?

I was trying to get to something, though.

What are you trying trying to get to?

The Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?

This is all he's pumping since the time he walks in the door.

How are you with the Lord?

Have you read your Corinthians?

We'll get to the letter to the Romans.

Let's get to it.

We'll get to it.

Sermon on the Mount.

I moved into my

place

with no security.

And his address is...

And I'll tell you right now, his wife, real sleepy.

So it's just a one-on-one.

1v1 if you get there.

She goes to bed around 10.

And then you can break in via window, front door.

Mike's probably listening to some mantra podcast on his headphones.

You'll be able to walk right in.

But that's my point.

You wouldn't.

My security is better than your security.

Dude, I will.

First of all, it's set back from the street.

We have security.

You have a door guy?

My door guys are pit bulls.

Your door guy.

3v3.

He didn't even check.

He didn't even look up.

3v3.

I could have been carrying bombs.

I'm talking about my dog, Eduardo, who will fuck your shit up.

You think this building isn't just chock full of boys from the BX?

No, there's nobody from the Bronx who lives here.

This is all preppy.

Our door guys.

Oh, they're Bronx guys?

Yeah.

You guys are cooked.

Where are you guys coming from?

Fucking Jersey?

There was one guy who looked stressed and

he just looked distracted.

It's Roberto.

You don't want a piece of him.

No?

You don't want a fucking slice of him.

He'll take you.

Tell Roberto, meet me at Skank Fest.

Have it sanctioned by Louis J.

Gomez,

Puerto Rican rattlesnakes.

We can live stream it.

I guarantee I tap Roberto out.

I didn't even know Jiu-Jitsu.

Lewis really is train yard Don King.

Just the way he puts fights together.

He's like, only in America, only in Skank Fest, can you watch a mildly retarded stand-up comedian fight a socially awkward stand-up comedian?

Only in America.

Yeah, dude, I'll do a 3v3, Your Door Guys versus My Door Guys, any fucking day.

Because honestly, sick.

My Door Guys are sick.

Bitch.

I can

tell by the way they handle packages.

Dude, their core strength just blows your guy away.

We have a whole package department.

So if you're letting...

We have one too.

Next to the gym.

Gym?

Ours is the floor up.

You want to do amenities?

Ours is the floor up.

Our iron paradise is actually in the sky, not on ground level like your shit.

No, we work out underground like Batman.

I'm just letting you know.

I'm just trying to to let you know what time it is, Soda.

Dude, I got a half a cup of coffee, man.

I'm coming in hot.

I can't.

I like coffee, Mike.

I can't wait to go downstairs and recruit three doormen and go, I need you guys to beat the shit out of my friend's doorman, which absolutely does sound like something that we would get into after moving into Manhattan.

We were just two queens roommates, and now we're like, my doorman versus your doorman.

Yep.

At the old polo grounds.

And the last standing man wins a Christmas bonus.

The Christmas bonus.

You own now, though.

You bought a place.

Me and the bank, we got a 100-year mortgage.

Do they call you every day?

Does the bank call you every day and go, what's up, pussy?

How's my place?

That's what I'm afraid of.

They call me up and go, how's our wife?

Yeah, they go, oh, I was watching her sleep this morning.

Yeah, I put a ring cam on your bedroom.

You guys, do you just have a ring camera in the corner?

What is that, Mike?

And the guy goes, hey, what's up?

I'm Edward.

I work at the bank.

I work over here at Chase.

It's the bank, yeah.

Me and the banks are the banks.

It's in the bank.

I just paid it for the first time.

Damn.

And so be it.

I paid the mortgage.

I got to put food on that table.

I can't do it.

How long of a mortgage did you get?

I know nothing about mortgages.

Maybe some of our listeners are stupid like me and don't know.

Can you explain?

I don't know anything about it either.

It was a lot of paperwork.

We did all the paperwork.

There was like a hundred pages.

We were there for an hour signing stuff.

It's like, this is to say there's no lead paint there.

It's like, but is there no lead paint?

It's like, this stuff is all

just go ahead and say, You want the plates or not?

Isn't it crazy that the boomer generation literally grew up with like lead in the gas, lead paint?

Yeah, and then now we won't let them give up power.

Like, these are people that have lead poisoning, and they're like, I'll tell you what's going on.

It's the bugs in the wall.

And you're holding the wealth.

Senior senator from Minnesota thinks there's bugs in the wall.

They're like, Also, no school lunches.

It makes kids happy.

They're all Mr.

Burns.

Our entire government is Mr.

Burns.

They're like, send out the dogs.

Fuck them all, dude.

Your generation fucked up.

Gen X fucked up.

Oh, Gen X did?

You guys fucked up.

Nah.

You guys blame us because we like avocado toast, but you guys didn't take the power.

Where's all that wrestling, Mike?

Why'd you wrestle for all those years?

Couldn't wrestle away the power.

We're biding our time.

For what?

They're already dead.

They're walking exoskeletons.

Well, I bought just in time for a socialist mayor to come in.

Dude, you make everything look like you're like mom Donnie.

You're a mom.

No,

I hope he makes us roommates again.

Oh, dude, that'd be hilarious.

And then we could, you know, support soder crosstown.

You know, it's funny.

And then we could do like a, we could do like a sitcom thing where we go, Mom Donnie.

It's like Perfect Strangers, but in reverse.

Dude, I'll be Perfect Brothers.

Whoa, I'll be your Balky Baltolemus all day.

I said his name wrong.

I know Larry Applewhite, but Barry Ball,

Balky,

he was from Meepos.

Perfect Strangers, right after Herman's head.

Dude, Herman's head was great.

And also a real,

it was really ahead of the curve explaining that we were all going to have mental illness.

Herman's head was like, hey, generation of children, you're all going to be on SSRIs and fucked up.

And we're like, there are people that live in his head.

And then now we're all like, I want to kill myself because I'm on Instagram nine hours a day.

It's so funny when you think about 90s programming being like, hey, guys, you're all fucked.

And we're like, X-Files, I'm now getting into X-Files.

I couldn't watch it when I was with Mike because he called it satanic.

He said it was anti-Christian.

So I wasn't allowed to watch X-Files, but now I am.

What a show.

What a good show.

And by the way, they're declassifying a lot of stuff from that show that is absolutely true.

It's like from 1992 when they're like, yeah, there's

spaceships, but you went on Rogan and you hated it.

So we won't talk aliens.

I was never allowed to talk about aliens.

I was never allowed to talk about aliens where I lived with Mike.

Oh, I was like foot loose.

I just wanted to dance, but you were John Lithgow and you wouldn't let me dance.

You know, when you started to talk about aliens, I was like, you have 35 seconds to make this about the Holy Spirit.

You're all Christ touching.

You got 10 seconds to get this to God or I am shutting down.

Don't you miss, don't you miss knowing what's going on in the WWE and aew aren't you curious what's going on the world's professional wrestling now that we don't live together it's been almost it's been two years roman reigns has lost his belt i don't even know if you're aware of did the undertaker go to hogan's funeral

and did hogan rise up and hit who was ever giving the eulogy with a chair did undertaker actually be an undertaker for the funeral like do the balming and the makeup on hogan and stuff and that that would suck he goes it was a character brother and they go

it's due.

It's real.

It's due now.

You have to, yeah.

Hogan dying.

I felt a lot of ways about it.

Yeah.

You know, obviously, Hulk Hogan wasn't a great dude.

I don't know if you've heard the tapes.

Quite the racist, but

a real American, nonetheless.

I mean, he was a real American hero.

He single-handedly.

Wait, which one was racist?

It was Hollywood Hogan.

It was Terry Balea that was racist.

Okay.

Hollywood Hogan redefined what wrestling is with the New World Order.

I turned on the ball.

Both Hogan's entrance themes were bangers.

Hard to disagree.

No one's had a better theme song than I Am a Real American and the NWO entrance.

Fight for the Rights of Every Man.

When you were a little boy, wrestling was still considered real.

Yeah, it was.

Did that make you mad as an actual person?

No, because I used to watch the league that no one watched which was the von air like the von ericks you would watch texas wrestling yeah i think you watched nwa which was very it was the it was the von ericks and

the von erics were like rick flair wouldn't be ric flair without nwa the von ericks which the movie um did you watch the movie no the claw or what it's what's it called it's not called the claw it's called like uh

You should watch that because it's about his family and how they all died.

Yeah.

But you would watch that.

I'd watch The Von Ericks, and then I was a little bit, I got back into it because it took

when like Stone Cold came in.

You were teaching special needs.

I was teaching and I would tape it because they loved it.

And then I would bring it in, kids with emotional problems, and they would be a reward.

If you pay attention in class, you get to watch Stone Cold.

Honestly, I'd seek revenge.

That would have worked on me, too.

I probably should have been in your class.

I think I had a lot of issues.

Because if you would have gone, we'll watch The Rock and Kane in the Cage Mancher.

I'd go, I'm not going to speak up today.

I'm going to let this slide.

What's it called?

The Iron Clock.

You should watch it.

But you never took a personal issue with pro wrestling because you were an actual wrestler?

No, no, I got what it was.

You were like, oh, it's just gay ballet.

It's stunts.

Yeah, it's stunt funny.

It's stunts with a narrative.

So I understood what it was.

It's and I could buy into it.

I could suspend my disbelief and go, yes.

It was very, like Stone Cold and The Rock and stuff.

That was very exciting times.

Dude, he called me, butt-dialed, Stone Cold, and I immediately returned his call in a way that while I was doing it, I was like, this is too fast.

He called me.

He called me and I got back to the bathroom, looked at my phone, and I was like, missed call.

Stone Cold.

Like, didn't even go like, should I call him back?

And then nothing.

He's probably like, damn.

Damn, son.

You're too ready to go.

But I was like, hi, Steve.

Hi, Steve.

It's me.

We used to do that joke, Dan and I, when we were writing that show, that Stone Cold would get sick of working with us and be like, hey, can y'all stop calling me work dad?

I'm not your work dad.

And you're like, are you proud of me, work dad?

I'm going to ask you real.

I'm going to ask you one more time, boy.

Stop calling me work dad.

So you'll be my work dad.

And you're really proud of the sillies that we wrote you.

It felt like, dude, after like three weeks of working with him, St.

Germain and I both were like, he thinks we're gay.

Because we're like, look at the story for this idea.

But did you love him?

I still love Stone Cold.

Yeah, yeah.

He's the fucking man.

It'd be great instead of shaking hands or something, he just a stunner and a stunner.

And then leaves the room.

That's how I choose to believe he goes through life.

Where he goes, oh, it's nice to meet you.

You're going to be the

greeter at a Walmart.

I love the turn.

Yeah.

They go, hi, welcome to Walmart.

He goes, oh, the airport.

Everything.

I would love it.

Hello, I'm your cardiologist.

And he goes, everything's going.

Yeah, dude.

i felt bad for how much i made that gear to watch wrestling when we lived together because i would have people over i'm not again i'm not against it but i wouldn't purposely watch it yeah but i felt bad because i'd be like seek it out hey i got about 16 nerds coming over to watch royal rumble yeah but then we'd order that michelangelo's pizza i know you remember that i know you remember with a good times baby i know you remember i love the whole thing i speak in glowing terms about our experience together and we lived together for other people's taste way too long dude it was funny when people would start shitting on it.

They're like, what do you guys still live together?

And you go, yes, and I'm saving an incredible amount of money.

Saving money.

We order pizza.

It's like we both would date women and they'd come over and then they would go home and then we would hang out.

And it was, it was still the favorite situation.

I don't know if I ever told that story on the podcast.

If I did, I'm sorry I told that story, but it's what it is.

A real life situation that we watched happen that was so funny.

It was when you had been dating your wife before you're Katie.

We both are in love with Katie's.

Double Katie's.

We're marrying Katie's.

He already married his.

My Katie and I are lazy as shit.

But you had been dating Katie.

I just started dating my Katie.

And remember, we were watching, you, me, and my Katie were watching Cheer, the Netflix documentary, about...

It's like last chance you were

cheerleaders here, yeah.

And we just put it on because we were like just sitting in the living room watching it.

And it's me, Vecchion, and Katie Nolan, my Katie.

And we're watching it.

And at the beginning of the episode, they go like, now this town where the college is, is they're like, the biggest thing here, we got a fruitcake factory.

It just makes fruitcakes, right?

It's just like a real throwaway thing.

And then they do it.

Obviously, it's funny, whatever.

So we're watching the episode.

It's about cheerleaders where there's a lot of male cheerleaders on this episode.

So we're watching.

And then Katie, Katie Hannigan.

Mike's wife comes late.

And we're like an episode in.

So we're watching like a second episode.

And Katie Hannigan sits on the couch and then my Katie goes ah this guy doesn't work what do you send him to the fruitcake factory or whatever and his Katie's like what the fuck like thinking thinking no Katie Nolan's like homophobic she's like the fuck is wrong she's like yeah send this guy to the fruitcake factory and they were able to go there's a fruitcake cat factory in the town and Katie was like Katie Hannigan was like oh it was so funny watching that miscommunication because I watched Katie the first time my Katie said it, your Katie was like,

And then again, she was like, send it to the fruitcake factory.

And she goes,

and then I was like, I don't think she knows that there's a fruitcake factory in this town.

Oh, fuck, that was a fun miscommunication.

I had another miscommunication.

She goes to leave one day and

she says, bye, Dan.

And you don't say anything.

And she walks out.

And then she calls me later.

She's like, I say goodbye to Dan.

He didn't say anything to me.

Do you think he didn't hear me?

I said, No, no, no, he's on a show.

He's what?

He's on a show.

He's on billions.

That's so funny.

So he won't talk to you.

I go,

I pull you aside from the business.

He's better than you.

I pulled you aside.

He does it to me all the time.

I go, How much does

Katie pull in via sag after?

I don't know why.

Well, I just don't know if I should address her, dude.

You want to talk about miscommunications?

All right.

I'm going to get a text about this conversation, but we have to say this on the podcast.

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We lived with handsome Pete, our roommate, handsome Pete.

Shout out, Handsome Pete.

He texted me recently because there's a huge DJ that likes my stand-up.

So that was the only way that Pete was proud of me.

It's because this

giant guy who's on ecstasy?

No, this guy, this DJ, John Summit, who's like a big deal, was like, yeah, I love Dan Soder as a comedian.

And then Pete, my roommate, who we've known for fucking 15 years, is like, oh, it's my boy.

And you're like, oh, all of a sudden I'm your boy.

Oh, no,

Pete, we used to come to shows where I'd do Monday nights in Caroline.

Like, what the fuck are you talking about?

But Pete would get, I mean, he'd pull.

He was a handsome dude.

You had a joke about him?

He's a handsome dude.

He has a baby face.

Yeah, maybe.

He's a shredded body and a baby face.

So it's a baby face.

It's like, oh, women can, like, I can trust this baby face.

But then he was built like a,

like a Russian.

I'm sorry you have to do so much work and see if we retell stories because I'm afraid we're going to retell stories from when the first time he was on.

But we didn't know Pete.

Pete, first off, all-American, loves football, huge Dolphins fan, thins up.

And then you hear him get on the phone with his parents and he speaks Russian.

And I don't know if you've ever known anybody that has, that's Russian-American, but when they can speak Russian, you feel like you live with a spy because he goes, hey, guys.

And you know what?

I'll go pick up some milk later.

And he's like, my mom's calling me.

Goes in the room.

He's like,

and Dan.

I mean, I mean, it was insane.

I don't know where he is now.

He probably lives on a houseboat.

In Florida, he has a houseboat somewhere.

He lives in Florida.

Does he live on a houseboat?

I picture him living on a houseboat.

He's doing good.

He's doing good, dude.

He's running one of those businesses where they like take shitty hotels and make them super awesome.

Startup.

And he just goes, like, he would tell us, this is when I was still waiting tables.

He'd be like, yeah, I got to go to like, I don't even know a club name to even insert, but it would be like Grove or something.

And he'd be like, They're paying me to go have dinner with these hot chicks.

And you're like,

What?

Meanwhile, I'm eating staff meal from Dos Caminos that I snuck out.

And I'm like, What do you mean you're going?

He's like, I got to go to the Gansavort.

They're going to pay me to eat there with like five models.

And you're like,

Who does this?

Who's your pimp?

Yeah.

But he dated this girl.

I won't give her name away, but they, they were

to describe their relationship.

It was a Rihanna music video.

It was like them making love in a windy sheet and then throwing stuff at each other in our living room.

They had a crazy fight, right?

But the best part of Mike and I being comedians, we were home during the day all the time together.

So like me and Mike would hang out during the day and then at night we would go to work.

So we'd go to different places.

So Mike and I saw each other all the time, but Pete, he would have to be up late for us to see him, or like we'd see him before he came home from work, right before we went out to do spots.

So, anyways, he gets in this fucking drag-out fight with his girlfriend.

It's like a, it's like when a roommate is fighting with a girlfriend, you just are like, I'm shutting down, I'm going into my room.

I lived in a windowless room, so I was like, I can breathe for 45 minutes in there.

I hope they clear it up.

But I go in the room, and they fucking have like a fight, and it's and we go out, we two spots everything it's the next day i go get us coffees at duncan i walk back i give veckeon his coffee and then i'm like did you hear that fucking fight with pete and he's like dude that was fucking crazy i was like she's nuts dude she's fucking crazy she just was like breaking shit and i'm i would always veckeone would always it was that fight was contained in his room i think though wasn't it yes we could just hear yes

in veckeon's room he had a hallway but his desk was at the end of the hallway.

And that's where he would sit.

And I would stand at the door, like leaning against the door frame, being like, shit, it was nuts.

She's fucking breaking out, taking a little sepsa iced coffee.

And then I backed up a little bit, right?

Cause their bedrooms were next door to each other.

And Pete's door was ajar.

It was just ajar.

And I like backed up and we're in the middle of talking about it.

And I'm like, yeah, she's crazy.

And Vecchione, it was like Lyle and Hardy where I was like,

and you were like, what?

What?

And I was like, she's in bed.

And she was just in bed on her phone while we were just.

We didn't think anyone was in there.

We thought no one was in there.

I thought the door was cracked and no one was in there.

Full volume recapping.

Recapping the fight.

Honest opinion of the fight.

Oh, my God.

I left.

I think I left.

I think I went to Neptune Diner.

and called you and was like, I just had to leave.

I had to leave.

Until things cooled down.

Yeah.

I was scared.

She was scary.

She was scary.

She was a scary person.

Because she didn't have a sense of humor about it.

No.

Yeah.

About how wacky it is.

You know, from a perspective of they're having a fight in a very small space with two other guys who are kind of just hanging out and like

no, she didn't say anything.

But then Vecchian and I, and we were watching TV.

Well, they broke up.

They broke up and we were very honest.

Sometimes when your roommate breaks up with someone, you're too honest.

And they go, we broke up.

And you go, what a...

And they're like, yeah, and you're like, couldn't stand her, dude.

Hated when she came over.

Yes.

Hated her.

And it wasn't working.

It wasn't working.

It wasn't working.

You're better off.

Build your life.

Shit.

Yeah.

She would talk shit to him in a way where you're like, you're such a good dude.

Don't listen to that.

So we let it out.

We both let it out.

And then, like, a week later, we're at home, stoned, watching Family Guy, and the door opens and it's her.

And she goes, The bitch is back.

Like that.

And he like walks through the living room.

And we're like, so he told you, huh?

And that's like, that's like 100% like, ah, fuck.

Well, you heard it.

but it was i mean living with three guys yeah was it was but the the women he would get was just insane and uh he must have had like he was like a charming he was so good dude he's a good dude but what like a lot of guys are good dudes there's something that you can that you could turn on it has it to be a charming thing but also you have to have the gumption to be able to close well and bring them home and be like look yeah let you have to have like balls to be like look let's go let's go back to my place and they're like okay

to him bringing girls home stories that Vack you definitely remember is when I tell you this it'll draw your memory I when I used to smoke cigarettes I was like that's when I was the door guy he called it ripping butts

he calls it smoking cigarettes now ripping butts but ripping butts back then ripping butts I'd be like I'm gonna go rip a butt and I would be out front smoking cigarettes and he would bring girls home and I'd be like the door guy like I'd be there to like greet him I'd be like how you doing and he brought this girl home and they're like he's like

sloppy sloppy Sloppy drunk.

They were both drunk.

There's a Zalon Zal.

And I was like, hi, nice to meet you.

And I'm smoking a cigarette.

And she goes, we're going to go live out our fantasies.

And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?

I was smoking a cigarette.

I was like, what the fuck?

I wanted a 300 kick her off our stoop.

It's like, shut the fuck up, you dummy.

And then they went in and they had sloppy sex, which always sounded like

they were.

Slapping.

Yeah, they were hanging.

I always said it was like they hung up a picture and they were looking at it like

that's even.

It was like that rhythm.

Remember one time he banged in our shower and both of us were in the living room and we're like, what are you doing?

It's a three-bedroom, one-bath.

And like Veckion and I are like, hey, he took her in there.

And then we hear like

from the bathroom and we're like, no fucking way.

We would get sober.

I got to go in there next.

I know.

I got to poop.

And now it's all humid and filled with sex air.

Ew.

And I, you know what?

I am talking shit, but I used to take naked dumps and smoke cigarettes when I was hungover.

Vecchione had to live through that for a little bit.

I'd be like crazy hungover and I'd just kick my basketball shorts off and fucking have a camel, one camel light and a lighter in my hand like a prisoner.

And I could, I'd sit there buck naked and be like, oh,

shitting and smoking.

Oh, it was the best.

And then, dude,

Vecchion, I'd come out of the bathroom, and him or Pete would be like, hey, dude, you can't be doing that.

You can't be doing that.

For Pete to tell you you can't be doing something, that'd be crazy.

Pete was like, I'm sorry, man.

You just can't be doing that.

I'm sorry, man.

I go, yeah, I was drunk.

But I caught you at the end of smoking.

It wasn't really that long that you were smoking.

You

were smoking pretty close.

About a year, but Vecchion would come home and I got into The Wire, but I was still waiting tables.

So I would watch episodes of The Wire late at night.

But I'd be drunk, so I'd have to re-watch them because I would be blacked out and I wouldn't remember that I watched season four and episode three and then Vecchion sometimes would have later spots at the cellar and I'd be drunk watching it and McNulty would light up a cigarette and I'd be like right and I'd just like pull out a cigarette and light it Vecion would walk into our living room be like what are you doing and I'd be like by the window like

sorry I'm drunk and McNulty was smoking and I wanted to finish the episode I got to open cafe tomorrow but yeah and then the other story that this is an all-timer this is one of the funniest it's one of the most scared I've ever been stoned.

I know what you're talking about.

Yeah.

So Vecchio, I'd always have to talk him into getting high because he'd be like, nah, I don't want to get high.

And I'd be like, come on, come on.

And how Vecchio takes a hits, it's just exactly the way he texts, the way he does everything.

It's very efficient.

So like I, he would like take a bowl and how he takes a hit is he goes,

and you're like, damn, that thing's in there.

Yeah.

That thing, he fucking sends it.

Vecchio takes a hit.

He goes,

and you're like, yeah, that thing's at your butthole, dude.

Relax.

so we we i i convince him to get high in my room or maybe we just smoked in the living room

which is in the front which is the front of the building yeah

and we're like watching family guy dude getting high with someone that never gets high brings you back to getting high when you first got high and you're like you want to watch something silly and you put it on and you're like this rules and we used to watch We'd watch like usually an hour of Family Guy after we got high.

But it can also work against you in the sense that it's almost like a meditative exercise because your brain,

you're used to it.

I'm not used to it.

So my brain starts to go crazy.

Like your thoughts start to race.

Like this idea of like getting high and being like, hey, man, everything is great.

It's like that.

I don't know who that happens to.

It's not me.

Yeah, you get high.

You go, why am I thinking about that?

Did I wash my socks?

Why didn't I wash my socks?

Am I fucking?

Well, then it's the thing where it's like, I don't think I'm gay.

I can't control my mind.

Sure.

So it's like, instead of just like releasing and enjoying.

But that's actually a good description of what happens when people freak out on weed because everyone thinks they're like, Whoa, I'm too relaxed.

And it's like, no, dog, I got a traffic jam of thoughts up in my brain right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm bumper to bumper upstairs, just being like,

in my head, it's just cars honking.

And I'm like, but it's what you're supposed to do when you meditate.

You're supposed to just sit back and like, you're not supposed to try to stop the thoughts.

You're just supposed to witness them and watch them and release them.

Yeah, so it's actually a good exercise to be like, all these thoughts, all these thoughts, all these.

It's like, just release, open a new lane, release, release, yeah let them through yeah

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Lease customer cash cannot be combined with APR or other customer cash offers.

Lease customer cash is not redeemable as cash or cash back option.

Lease customer cash is only available on approved credit.

Not all customers will qualify for credit approval or offer.

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Lease customer cash offer only available in the United States regardless of buyer's residency.

Void reprohibited.

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So we had watched Family Guy, but you know, we were very high.

And Pete came home and just went to his room.

So that's exactly what happened.

Yes.

Pete went home and he went to his room.

He walked in.

Oh, no, he was FaceTiming.

Oh, that's right.

That's right.

That's right.

He was FaceTime.

And he walks in.

And like.

Being a third party to a FaceTime, it's the gayest shit in the world.

Watching someone go, yeah.

yeah.

Like people that are on the street FaceTime, I fucking hate them.

They go, no.

And it's just like New York City.

Yeah.

Like sometimes I try to get on their FaceTime.

Like a girl's there, and I'm walking Myrtle.

I'll like pop over her shoulder.

Because just for once, I want someone to go, like, is that, is that the guy from Billions?

Just over a little influencer's shoulder.

So

handsome Pete comes in the house, FaceTiming a girl, having like one of those conversations where he's like, Yeah, I don't even know if I've been on a yacht.

What's up, guys?

And this is me and Becky Owen, high as shit, just raccoon-eyed, watching family guy.

And we're just chilling.

Weeds on the table.

I had like a fucking bag, I remember.

I had like an ounce on the table.

Flex.

Sorry, kept it in the coffee table drawer, bro.

That's where the bong bong pieces were, too.

So I like, it's all there on the table.

We're watching Family Guy, Pete, FaceTimes into his bedroom, and then we're just sitting there for like two minutes.

And then it's like a knock.

We're on the first floor.

It's like a knock on our window.

And we're like, the fuck?

Sometimes you'd have bums.

We had bums a couple times come because you're on the first floor.

One time when I first moved in, this was way, this is like a couple years before you moved in.

Before I had curtains, it was literally like the first weekend i was living there the door was open and this i had no air conditioning so the windows were open this fucking crackhead's like it's a nice place you know jesus i was in the kitchen i was like excuse me and like

it's a nice place and you're like okay can i help you and they're like how much you pay

get away go away and they're like

But it would happen a couple times.

Like you'd have like a bum like knock on the window

or go through our trash because our trash was right in front of our windows.

So they would go through.

Which is pretty healthy to have your trash right by.

Oh, right by one of the open windows when it's nice springtime breeze when I could smell.

Yuff.

So Pete FaceTimes, he goes to his room and then we hear a knock at the window.

And I'm like, I look at Vecchione like, what the fuck?

And I get up and I move the curtain and it's just a police flashlight on my face.

And it was like, cops, open up.

And then I'm like, and I shut it.

And Vecchion

is like, what?

I was like, it's the cops, dude.

I remember you getting up and going around our couch to your room.

Like you were about to go to your room.

Like, I had nothing to do with this.

And then I looked because I thought it might be people impersonating the cops because we had busted a dude pretty close before that, impersonating Con Ed.

They were going door to door going, hey, we're with Con Edison.

Could you bring us our bill?

We want to make sure it matches.

And then they take down your information and they steal your shit.

Like that was like a hustle that was going on in Queens.

And I caught the guy because he's like, you can bring one of the bills.

And I go, oh, what are you one of those fake Con Edison dudes?

And he was like, I got to go.

And you're like, oh, my gosh.

So you are.

So I was like, oh, this might be someone faking being the cops or whatever.

And I look and it's fucking NYPD, like cruisers out front, three NYPD.

And I go to the door and the guy's like, you know, in his fucking shoulder radio, like, yeah, hold on a second.

He's like, how you doing?

Someone ran out of the cab?

And I went,

we've been watching TV for like two hours.

And he's like, yeah, someone ran out of a cab and ran in here.

And I was like, I don't know.

And then I go knock on Pete's door and he opens the door and I was like, hey, did you run out of a cab?

And he goes, I know what happened.

And then he goes outside.

Turns out this motherfucker was FaceTiming and just didn't pay the cab.

And then just went into our apartment.

Or he swiped his card.

It didn't go.

It didn't go.

It didn't go.

And he swiped it and just left it.

Who swipes it and doesn't even check if it wasn't.

That was FaceTime energy.

He was going like this.

Oh, yeah, I know.

All right, thanks, bro.

And shut the door.

And the guy's like, my friend, Lope.

My friend, the Don Pay.

And then the guy, there was NYPD on our block, so we went and got him.

But dude, I remember that opening the window.

And then you were like, I can't watch Family Guy anymore.

After they left, you're like, I'm fucking freaking out.

I was like, well, they're gone now.

But yeah, dude, you bring chaos into our apartment.

Yeah.

But Family Guy would calm me because I'd be focused on the jokes or whatever.

It would calm me down.

That's my joke from my HBO special about you eating too many eggs.

Oh, man, that was rough.

But I remember playing PlayStation and being like,

and the joke, I collapsed it a lot, but I remember eating that edible.

I came back with California chocolates and you had been eating like little Tootsies.

You had been very careful.

And I was like, you should have one of these, half of one of these chocolates.

And I ate a full chocolate.

It was 25 milligrams, which isn't crazy.

But I gave him about 10 to 15.

And then I'm like sitting there playing video games.

And I was playing WWE,

2K18.

And I specifically remember, dude, I was doing a match with like Seth Rollins and like Seamus.

And I remember I was so high, I was like, yo, this is a five-star banger.

I was like, that's how high I was.

I was playing PlayStation.

I was like, ooh, this match, this is a pay-per-view.

And then I was like, why am I so into this match?

And then I put the controller down and I was like, I'm fucked up.

And then I looked up and you were just standing in the doorway of your room holding that gallon of water.

And you go, you gave me too much.

And I did.

And you were like, I'm freaking the fuck out.

You poisoned me.

What was in it?

What was in it?

Was something else in it?

Was it K2?

What are the kids afraid of now?

Something's in it.

And then you, and then what's funny is I put it on Family Guy.

And no, you had it.

You had, you really had to talk me down.

Yeah.

Because I was going to call an ambulance on myself.

Oh, yeah.

Because I was like, I got, I ate at the hospital.

My brain is going crazy.

I got to go to the hospital.

You're going,

dude, my brain's going nuts.

My fucking chest.

You're like, I'm going to go to the hospital.

And I was like, no, man,

you're good no you did it you did it you did a very you say in your special where it's like you did a very fatherly like yeah i go hey buddy hey buddy you gotta come you just calm down let's watch family guy drink some water i go does water help it does water help it i swear to god

you drank a glass of water halfway through an episode of family guy you were zonked out on the couch yeah i like wanted to put a blanket on him i wanted to be like there's my god but you would fall asleep you would fall asleep high and i would try every night i would try to wake you up to go to bed and you would not wake up.

You would not wake up.

And finally, I was like, you know, because you don't, when we first moved in together, it's like we didn't really know each other that well.

So I was like, how far do I take this out?

Where do I shake him and go, Dan, you got to go to bed?

It's like,

because I would get up and my eyes would be like dark red.

You know, when you're like that high and you're sleeping, when you're like, I'm like,

I'm coming out of the mud.

Dude, it's so funny you say that because Katie has the thing where when we first started dating, I would do that.

I would like, especially during the pandemic, like she'd be in the other room playing PlayStation and I'd be watching TV and I'd just fucking crash out on the couch.

And then she'd wake me up and I'd be like,

like that.

She'd be like, okay, I can't wake you up.

She'd be like, yo, you're a live wire.

She freaks me out because I'd be like, dead asleep.

And she'd be like, Dan, you want to go to that?

I'm like, yeah, yeah.

So now it's so funny.

It's happened last night.

I was like watching.

Monday Night Raw and I fell asleep and then she just comes in and she goes, hey, she'll talk to Myrtle because because Myrtle, Myrtle always falls asleep at the foot of the, you know, when I'm like laying down on the couch, she'll lay next to the couch.

And she'll go, hey, like, she's talking to Myrtle.

Hey, Myrtle, do you guys want to go to bed?

And I'll be like,

it's she learned.

She learned how to do it.

Instead of going, hey, you want to go to bed?

I'm like,

she starts making all kinds of ancillary noise with her keys and stuff.

Oh, changing ling, ling, ling, ching.

Wind chimes.

Damn, why do you have wind chimes in the kitchen to wake me from my from my night nap but can i say something about the window on next to the street shout out 31st street you can walk by it if you want to go see the 2555 dojo we can give away our address now but the 2555 boys on 31st street yeah motherfucking problem 2555 you'd catch me when caprice and don quixote or whatever that dominican club was at 4 a.m yeah i used to smoke butts on my i'd watch Greek white trash.

I'd watch Euro trash fight Dominican trash.

Great.

It would always be because of a girl.

It'd always be because either like a Greek girl was dressed up and one of the Dominicans was like,

or

one of the Dominican girls was walking by and the Greek guy's like,

and then they'd be like, fucking, dude.

I'd knock on the window.

I'd be like, Vec, you should come out for this.

Because I'd be, you know, mid, I'd go back-to-back cigarettes.

Yeah.

Oh, take me back.

We had box seats too.

The window was right there on the street

under the train.

Do you remember when

we opened the window and turned off all the lights when there was that like huge problem where the cops showed up?

Do you remember?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

It was across the street in front of the CrossFit.

And we like, it was at night and we opened our blinds and turned off all our lights and just sat there and watched it.

And we were like, oh, dude, this is getting fucking real.

It was awesome.

Remember the Greek music store across the street?

That became the became the fucking

CrossFit.

CrossFit.

But the Greek music store, it's such a funny niche thing to have in our neighborhood.

We'd leave and go, does anybody need anything from the Greek music store?

Does anybody want a feta tambourine?

Do you guys want Yanni live at the Acropolis in Blu-ray?

I think I can find it over there.

That's all they're selling.

So COVID happens, and my Katie moves in, and you move in with your Katie.

I'm in a jersey with my Katie.

Okay, so we're there, but like Katie's not used to that window, and things are getting nuts in society.

It's a fishbowl.

Stuff is happening on the streets.

You walk by that window, it's very long, and it's eye-level.

So you're immediately like...

Yes, and you're all we're on the street, basically.

Yeah, that was the joke.

You're right on the sidewalk.

and next to a mosque because that was the joke that was the joke i had about the woman that i was stoned running late for the bonfire and i slammed the window and i went no and she went like that and i was like no no no i meant no like i didn't mean to slam the window but that mosque they would get out and they would look at us like what the fuck are these guys but it's crazy

Ready to take advantage of an incredible deal at Mazda?

September is the final month of eligibility for federal $7,500 electric vehicle lease cash on the new Mazda CX70 and CX90 plug-in hybrid.

All Mazda current inventory is unaffected by new tariffs.

See your local Mazda dealer for details.

$7,500 electric vehicle lease cash offer expires at the end of September.

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$7,500 lease customer cash good toward 2025 CX70 PHEV and CX90 PHEV when leasing through Mazda Financial Services.

Lease customer cash can be combined with other public offers, including lease incentive offers.

Lease customer cash cannot be combined with APR or other customer cash offers.

Lease customer cash is not redeemable as cash or cash back option.

Lease customer cash is only available on approved credit.

Not all customers will qualify for credit approval or offer.

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But Katie was afraid because anarchy might break out or something.

She's like, what if people come through this window?

It's right here.

We have no protections.

We barely have drapes.

They just come through the window.

I go, I don't know how to remedy this situation.

What do you want me to do?

You want me to board it up?

I don't know how to board it up.

They're not zombies.

Also, Anthony, finding out you boarded up the front window would have been so funny.

Hey, Mike, I went by 25.55.

What's up with the boards on the window?

I don't know if he would have even noticed it.

He was that aloof about it.

He didn't give a shit

out of our apartment.

And it was so funny when we found out the hot girls on the third floor got a refrigerator like an hour after theirs broke because they're crazy hot

anthony my refrigerator broke he goes i lifted one by myself up to the third floor walk up you're welcome you're beautiful i've never met it she was from um

trinidad and tobago yeah handsome pete handsome pete met them yeah handsome pete was all up in her pencil you want to come up and party with us you want to come up for some drinks not you two but do you want to come up for not you two you stay down.

But do you want to come up?

Do you remember how Nate described us?

Remember Nate?

You remember our friend Nate Pargettsi?

When he stayed on our couch one time.

Do you remember that?

And he said, and Pete brought a girl home and Nate goes, I mean,

what does this girl tell her friends about this place?

Dude, that was so funny.

Nate goes, I don't know.

You know that guy I hooked up with?

Well, apparently he lives with a bridge troll in a former Mr.

Pennsylvania.

Just hearing my voice in that windowless room going, Hey, Pete.

He's like, Apparently, he lives with a dragon under the bridge for clues in a former Mr.

Pennsylvania.

And then, dude, the thing that Nate had me laugh is one time he knocked on Veckion's door late at night and you unlocked it or whatever.

And Nate goes, stops by my room.

He goes, What's up with all the locks on Vecky Own's door?

And then we did a thing where you were like, Hey, Mike, it's like,

and then a shotgun barrel slides out, and you go, Sorry, I thought you were bed bugs.

Dude, that joke joke used to make bate and i laugh every time we'd stay with her sorry i thought you were bed bugs no but she was very paranoid i'm like i don't know we got into a big argument about it really i don't know how to remedy it i don't know it's just there she's like it's just there it's just there the windows like does do the windows even lock do they even like one of them did one of them didn't yeah and it's like one of them's kind of dangerous one of them definitely did not lock on the street yeah we have no protection it's not like it's a floor up or anything like that and i tried to comfort her i'm like look no problem dan gave me a machete.

It's in my room.

We'll just use it.

If someone breaks in, it's on them.

We'll just stab them.

We'll take turns stabbing them.

We'll take, I'll stab them a little bit.

You stab them a little bit.

I had a lot of weaponry.

When I brought that to Kate, that was a lose-lose situation because you didn't trust my collection of knives.

Yeah.

Your Katie didn't like it.

No.

So I

come back to Queens seven weeks into COVID,

make a little survival bag that include a machete

and another knife and an axe that does like a bunch of other stuff.

And I brought it to Katie's, to my Katie's.

Swiss Army axe.

And Hoboken and she goes, okay, this makes me nervous.

Dude, the funniest, dude, the funniest fucking thing that just reminded me of this,

this is years ago.

An ex-girlfriend of mine was staying at my apartment, right?

Because she had a thing in the city the next day.

And she was like, can I stay at your apartment?

And I had to film billions crazy early.

So I was like, yeah, I got to go to set, but like, you just stay at the house or whatever.

Like, Vecke Allen will be around.

This is when it's just me and you.

I was like, you know, just hang out.

I'm on set and she sends me a picture of the knife that I had next to my bed.

And she went, okay, that made me nervous.

And then she takes another picture of the axe in my fucking closet.

And she goes, this is sus.

Are you a serial killer?

And I was like, no, I just have.

I'm sorry.

How are you protecting your house?

But I had to like talk her down via text.

I'm like, No, I just fucking, whatever.

I bought a fucking knife.

Don't be gay about that.

I'll cut you up, bitch.

I'll make you my next.

The axe and the machete are my two doormen.

Hello?

Dude, your doorman will get fucking molly-whopped by mind.

No.

I don't even.

You think Eduardo wouldn't fucking.

I'll just do that.

How's he going to do against an Albanian?

Now that you didn't tell me.

Now that's hedging my bed.

And he's shredded, too.

God damn, he's shredded.

I think.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't want him to hurt.

I like Eddie.

Yeah.

You have to protect him.

You'd have to step in.

You'd have to throw the towel.

I go, fight me.

And you go, okay.

And I go, I'm just kidding.

What are you doing?

I live in the building.

You're crazy.

Yeah, like, building is, you know, like, I turn into a building pussy.

What are you doing?

I live in the building.

Stop being mean to me.

I don't know how it is here, but in our building, like, we, you, you have to to have every contractor register they have to have proof of insurance oh really yeah and if they don't you get in trouble we got in trouble already we already got zinged for the we with the air conditioners because the air conditioner is not part of the building it's the window units so and they were like

they we were wheeling them out and they were like you can't do that we had we got an email the next day and katie was like she's like we're we're pariahs now we can't even walk down there we hold our heads up i mean we're gonna be out of the building i'm like katie let's i'll go talk to the guy the bank calls you he's like, what are you doing?

Hey, Mike, what are you doing with our place?

You got to clear the contractors with me, too.

There's a bank.

No, no, no, no, no.

I'm the owner.

You live there.

Sorry, I didn't know I was living in North Korea where I have to register everything.

Is this your first door guy building?

It's weird.

It's a weird adjustment.

It took me six months to not ask them if they wanted a coffee or a soda when I went out.

They would look at me like,

okay.

I'd be like, I'm going to Duncan.

You guys want anything?

And they're like, yeah after a while though yeah and i was like i meant it i'd get them coffees and shit so there's a park outside and it's a huge building and there's a there's a park in the middle of the two buildings do they let dogs there no dogs in the park uh you could get dogs in the building but not if only if you own it if you rent i don't think you can have them okay so but i said let me go ask those guys if i can run in the park.

Oh, they don't know about your psycho-Batman.

They don't know about it.

They're going to find out that not Rich Bruce Wayne is living in their building you go you want to know what Batman was like he's a billionaire

Michael Anthony Vecchion

if he was a short fat Italian

still trying to train dude when I was watching that um the mass shooter in midtown or whatever Katie and I were talking about how all cops grab their bulletproof vests like this now, like football pads.

Yeah, and I was like, for some reason, it made me think of your joke where you were saying you look like a Staten Island cop.

And not the nice type.

I was too short to play linebacker in high school.

So now I'm like, I got to take it out on him.

Yeah, that was the line I thought of.

Too short to play linebacker in high school.

Nobody took out on everybody.

Like the way they were holding their pads.

I was like, oh, that's like Marky Owens' joke.

But you were saying you asked them if you could do one of your psycho workouts?

I just was like, this would be perfect if I could train in the basement.

And then

after the workout, after the weights, I could run for 15 minutes in the park.

There's enough room to run.

And he goes, yeah, people do it all the time.

I thought it was going to be a big problem.

After the air conditioning thing, I'm like, you didn't know.

They're real strict.

But it's almost a good thing that they're real strict because then people just don't do whatever they want.

Like our upstairs neighbors in the last place, it's like just stomping.

I knew every move.

And it was a small Asian girl

just stomping to the bathroom, stomping back, dropping stuff on the floor all hours of the night.

Can I get racist for a second?

Please.

Can I get my racist on?

The two times.

There's two straight whites talking here.

She's just not hurting anybody.

An elder millennial and a Gen X really saying some stuff they shouldn't into a microphone.

When you lived in your apartment and you talk about when we get breakfast and you talk about your neighbors stomping around, right?

Yeah.

Very briefly, you'd be like, yeah, it's like they're Asian and they stomp around.

When Nate lived in Queens,

He had those Chinese neighbors upstairs and I would stay at his house and it sounded like they were wearing like steel boots walking around.

Yes.

And then you'd see him and they were like five foot two.

It's like, how do you guys run along trees and fly through the air, but also you can't walk in a queen's apartment without sounding like you are my thousand pound life?

It's insane.

And we, it got to the point where I'd, I'd knock on her door.

It'd be, she'd be stomping and dropping stuff on the floor.

And I would knock on her door and she wouldn't answer the door.

I'm like, I know you're up there.

Like you're, you're doing it.

It's happening.

Yeah.

And, and then go back down.

And then I would just leave her a note.

And then, uh, and then she would respond to the note like a few days later or whatever.

And I'm sorry, I'll try to be more mindful, but she was never more mindful.

She never was.

It was, and then Kate, we're just laying in bed one night.

It wakes us up.

And Katie's like, what do you think it is?

Chinese drill team.

Well, Katie was like, stomp team.

What do you think she's doing?

And Katie goes, it's OnlyFans.

She's doing OnlyFans.

She's moving stuff.

She's

moving stuff, dropping props.

It's OnlyFans.

And I go, I think it's fascism.

That's funny.

I think she's this, the stomping is marching.

She's practicing building a weapon.

She's practicing the goose step.

She's learning how to salute a giant painting of our leader.

Yep.

That's what I think it is.

But it isn't it weird because the owner of the apartment was Asian and she only rented to Asian people.

And we've been canceled.

That seems fine, but it that wouldn't work if it was a white.

The People's Republic of China takes over this country.

I'm gonna

Mike and I are gonna have to go through and wash all this out.

Yeah.

This perfectly good podcast.

White wash.

Whoa.

Even Joe Rogan couldn't get that out of Mike Vecchion.

Dude, I...

First off, the special is awesome.

Thank you, buddy.

People need to go watch it.

Yeah.

And Pimp was there.

Pimp saw it.

He made it.

Pimp made it.

Pimp saw it in Jersey first.

That's what I'm going to ask for.

If you're a Vecchion head like me, you want to see the stress factory tape.

So comment below, release the Stress Factory tape.

Put it down there guys smash that like button hashtag release not the epstein files we want those released but we also want the stress factory tape can i show you something what the epstein files absolutely i have the i have the epstein answer i have it on my phone that's so funny dude i have it on my phone it's gonna blow george glue me i'm like well there goes ocean 11 for me

he lives across the way from me Whoa,

Epstein lives.

He didn't die.

He lives across the hall.

He just lives in the...

Yeah, I said the neighborhood he lives in because Vick Young wants to dox me on my podcast, so I'll dox him right back.

I pretend like it's an accident.

I don't know how the internet works.

I was trying to protect my friend.

I didn't know.

I'll put us in such grave danger that we have to move in back together.

Back to back.

Trust each other.

Back to back.

No one comes in.

Likely enemies become friends.

Hashtag release the jersey tape or the stress factory tape.

I want to see it because I know you ripped.

And you're very modest.

And Pimp came in and was like, it fucking crushed.

Yeah.

It released

Release the stress factory, Tate.

But Pimp did a great job on the official special.

Go watch the official special.

Give that.

Nate Land.

And shout out to Nate Land for doing it and putting the money up.

Put in a word with Nate that we say hi.

If one of them sees this, if one of his paid assistants sees this, please tell Nate we miss him.

We miss him coming and staying on our couch in Queens.

For real, go watch Mike Vecchion's special right here on YouTube.

or if you're listening to the podcast go uh over to youtube and watch it give him some clicks he truly is one of the funniest human beings alive he's one of my favorite comedians to watch his joke writing is you're like one of the funniest people you've made me laugh harder than anybody on this earth i love you to death you're like a brother go watch the special thank you for listening to the podcast

i love you too buddy

i just do asmr at the end

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