97: Between Takes with John Feitelberg | Soder Podcast | EP 95

It's here.

The golden retriever of comedy tour.

It's

in here.

September 5th and 6th, Stand Up Live.

Four shows.

Two Friday, two Saturday.

September 25th at the United Theater in Los Angeles, LA.

I know it's downtown.

I know no one goes downtown, but I'm promising you, I'm bringing a very good show.

It's going to be worth your time to go downtown.

September 25th, United Theater.

Then the next night, the 26th, I'll be at the Moore Theater in Seattle, which I'm very excited about.

And then the 27th, Revolution Hall in Portland.

Portland, you sold out.

So I love you.

Thank you for selling that out.

Seattle and LA,

pick up some tickets.

The shows are going to be very fun.

Dansoder.com for all dates announced right now on the Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour.

Thanks, and I'll see you out there.

I don't think I've ever done a proper intro on this podcast ever.

We never did either.

We never have.

Yeah.

And people get confused by it.

I'm like, we'll have an intro at some point.

Well, the one note that I absolutely agree on, number one, is that I step all over the guests.

So I get too excited.

But number two is that I don't sometimes intro in a way that is beneficial for the listener.

Oh, I see.

And so that's what I'm always about, improving.

I think sometimes I'm like, oh, I'm corny and being lame.

But then I'm like, oh, no, this does serve a purpose

broadcast-wise.

It's like when they like subscribe, and like, you hate doing all that shit, but you know, and people would be like, Yeah, I listened to the conversation for 40 minutes and I don't know who you're talking to.

One of my pet peeves,

one of my pet peeves is when I, when I'm in that position, and I'm like, Who the fuck are you talking to?

So, with that being said, John Feidelberg is here from the show Les Mascots.

Go watch it, it's out.

Episode one's out.

When's it come out?

Uh, One is 19th.

Episodes one.

One is out.

Episode one's out.

Go watch it.

Go watch it.

I think it's good.

Him and former guest Harry.

I don't call him Sass.

I'm not giving him his deaf jam name that he wants.

A little sass is dead.

I respect the government name of Harry.

I've recently, very recently, because I've worked with Harry for like probably three years now pretty regularly.

Very recently, like in the last three months, I started calling him Harry.

Yeah, it's like my buddy James Matter, who went by Mad Dog forever.

and you have moments where you go mad dog

Yeah

James so yeah with with sass it does take me even though I just did it right there.

Yeah, it's like so programmed in that you go Harry but what Harry Harry keeps you at arm's length So I always felt like I was far enough back where it's like that's sass.

Okay.

I feel like I'm in it now

making a show once we made once once it became a show.

It was like all right That's Harry And you, I mean, you guys are on, you guys are the two main characters.

And Tommy, Tom Scabelli, Tommy Smokes.

Tommy Smokes is great.

Yeah.

He's great.

dude.

He's awesome.

Him around an overly confident hot girl is a recipe that I will always watch.

You could put Tommy Smokes at the Miss USA Pageant and I would watch every single one of you.

Because when Tommy's in on the joke, it's great to watch him be kind of a dick.

Yes.

He's a guy that can be kind of a dick where you're not.

And I don't mean this, I'm not, I don't mean this in any shady way towards Tommy.

You're not intimidated by him.

Exactly.

You could be a dick and you're like, oh, it's funny.

There's, you know, when someone's a dick and you're intimidated, you're like, I hate this person.

But when someone's a dick and they're not intimidating, you go,

he's, and Tommy is not intimidating, but is constantly intimidated.

Yeah.

And I identify with that.

Do you?

Yeah, I think

I walk around a lot more wet, wet and nervous than a lot of people.

You do?

On the inside, absolutely.

Dude, that surprises me because you seem like you have a lot of comments.

You're a big guy.

Yeah, but I don't have that.

Inside,

as I've said before, there's a small, naked, wet man behind my controls just going like, oh, yeah, how's everyone mad at me?

And then I go through like, oh, that's exactly what Tommy did.

Tommy, every single shoot, every single day, we'll get back in the car afterwards.

And he'll just be like, just want to clear up.

No one's mad at me, right?

I'm like, no, dude.

Joe Liss used to do that a lot when he drank.

The next day you would talk to him and you go, are you mad at me?

And you're like, no.

Why?

And he goes, I just think think the whole world's mad at me.

And that's why we were like, we should probably quit drinking if that's your hangover.

Dude,

we were just in Atlanta like three days ago

and we had done a shoot and then we went to get pizza afterwards.

Sure.

Great pizza, actually.

I forget the name of it, but it's delicious.

And we're sitting at our table.

We got our pizzas and I don't even notice, but someone's in the restaurant walking back and forth by our table.

And I don't even register it.

Not a big deal to me.

You clock the threat?

Yeah.

And then they go and they sit at a table next to us.

And Tommy nudges me and he goes, hey, I think those guys just sized this up.

Mind you, it's 2 p.m.

on a Tuesday afternoon in Atlanta.

Yeah, you're like, why?

Like, there's no reason to think that.

There's no reason.

And so I, I'm like, but I'm like, all right, I don't know.

He said it.

Like, I'll pay attention to what that table's saying now.

And literally the first sentence I hear when I tune in is a guy going, hey, I saw a pretty nice sun-soaked spot outside.

Should we eat out there?

And I was like, dude, I don't think those guys were sized.

How did you think?

How did you feel intimidation?

Hey, check check my six real quick.

He like starts doing stuff.

He goes, I can get the leg off that chair.

I'll beat one of them to death.

I need you to get a blade from behind.

I don't know if there's a line cutter behind the bar, something, jam it into that dude's throat.

I completely understand that.

What sucks more is when you're right,

when people are actually doing it, and then you're like, it just makes you do it more all the time.

Yeah, yeah.

We were in, we did a comedy festival in Dublin.

Fuck, I hope I didn't tell this story on the podcast already.

I really try to avoid retelling stories.

I hate it.

Because then I just feel like a hack.

But we did the Vodafone Comedy Festival in Dublin, and it was,

it's an awesome festival.

It's like in the middle of this park in Dublin, and they have like tents, and just the crowds come in.

It's fucking sick.

I've done it a couple of times.

I love the festival.

They bring Americans over.

It was me, Joe DeRosa, Annie Letterman, and Lisa Traeger, right?

And the four of us were like, we'll go get.

Now, I am am with the Avengers of shit talking.

DeRosa, Annie, and Lisa Traeger.

Combined force of shit talking.

The world's never seen it.

So we're like, let's go get lunch.

And we're like walking through Dublin.

And we're just, we're doing that thing where we're like, we'll just find a place.

We're not like googling it and checking reviews.

We're like, we'll just, oh, you know, and so we keep walking and we don't find anything.

And then we get to this restaurant, we bump into an Irish comic, and it's very like Brooklyn-y.

It's like

everything, it's minimalized.

Yeah, yeah.

It just looks like Williamsburg.

And we're like, the four of us are like, nah, let's keep going.

So we keep pushing.

Finally, there's a woman outside smoking a cigarette in a bathrobe.

Annie's from Philly, so that's, that's comfort food for her.

And she walks up and she's like, hey, we're trying to find a restaurant.

It's like, you know, it's like noon and the woman has her or like her little pink terry cloth robe closed.

And she goes, you can go to the pub next door.

Dolores is is making sandwiches.

And we're like, oh, no.

She goes, go to the pub next door.

They make sandwiches.

And we're like, I'm with Joe DeRoso.

I'm with Joey Roses, the king of sandwiches.

This is before, this is before the sandwich shop.

So we go in.

There's a table of dudes drinking.

It's 1230.

It's Ireland.

Who gives a shit?

There's a woman watching.

A woman is drinking a beer with a pen and pad, watching horse races.

And we're like, hey, do you guys do food here?

And she's like, I can make you sandwiches.

And we're like, all right.

And then the bartender's like, Dolaris, I'll make you some sandwiches.

Take a seat.

So we sit down.

I'm wearing a Queens of the Stone Age shirt.

This is how I knew it was going.

So we're sitting there and I see the guys and they're all talking and they're looking at us.

And I do the thing Tommy Smokes does.

I go, I think those guys are sizing us up.

And as I say that, one of the guys comes by and bumps my chair.

And I was like, that felt a little.

And then he goes, where are you from?

And I go, oh, we're all from the United States.

I think Joe was like the first to go, we're from the United States.

And he's like, yeah, where are you from?

And I go, I live in New York.

Some of us live in New York and some of us live in L.A.

And he goes, oh, I'm from Boston.

And I want to go, well, you're clearly not.

He goes, I'm from Boston.

Fuck the Yankees like that.

And I go, yeah, man, fuck the Yankees.

I'm a Giants fan.

They can suck my dick.

And he's like, fuck the Knicks.

And I go, fuck the Knicks too.

Go nuggets.

So I'm not, this guy's not getting what he wants.

Yeah, yeah.

He wants to get a reaction.

So then he, I can tell he's like pretty drunk.

Guy leaves, comes back around and sits down.

And we're eating our sandwiches at this point.

And I'm like, that just feels like these guys have a problem.

Yeah.

And then I hear one of them clearly go, who wants the bloke in the queen shirt?

Like that?

And I went, oh, boy.

And we finish our sandwiches.

And I'm like, There, by the way, we are talking so much shit loudly about American comedians.

That's what we're like, he's a fucking hack.

And Lisa's like, this guy stinks.

And he's like, I watched her bomb.

She fucking sucks.

So we're all just talking shit.

And I have to interrupt it.

And I have to be like, guys,

I think those guys are, I pulled the Tommy.

I go, I think those guys are sizing this up.

And Terosa goes, what?

No, dude, they're not.

You fucking paranoid, dude.

And I was like, I really think I am.

I really think those guys.

And I go, Joe, they're going to fight you and me.

They're not going to fight Annie and Lisa.

And he's like, I don't know.

And I go to pay the bill.

And the bartender is like way warmer and nicer than he was when we walked in.

He's like, you guys from America, huh?

Where are you from?

And I'm like, New York.

I live in New York.

And Joe's like, I'm from, I lived in Philly.

I'm from Philly.

And he's like, great, MMA.

He's like, starts talking about UFC.

And he's like, great.

And I pay and I tip.

And he goes, come on.

And then he walks.

I go, we all get up to leave and he walks us out of the bar, right?

Yeah.

Very oddly.

same door go out the front door and we leave and i'm like that felt weird but there was no confirmation so we go to do the shows now des bishop who like lived in ireland and is like an irish comic is there with us right and annie and him are talking this is before this is later that night at a show and annie and him are talking and des is like hey to like me he's like come here He said, do you know where the fuck you were at?

And I was like, oh, I don't know.

We like went into a pub and had lunch.

He's like, you're at an IRA bar no and you're like oh no

he's like those guys wanted to fight you he's like they absolutely wanted to fight you and we were like oh that's why i told joe i was like i knew it and joe's like all right all right you called it i was like i fucking fucked the threat of danger because they were like i the way they were eyeing us up and like not stopping staring at us i was like oh no

but then that fucked me up because then it got confirmed so now i'm like in hyper drive for the next five years anytime someone's looking at me, I'm like, oh, they're probably IRA.

We're in Wisconsin and I'm like, they're IRA.

They're going to fucking, they're going to put a pipe bomb in our car.

But there's also the fact that like, like I was in, I was in Dublin recently and I have a few Irish buddies.

So I met up with them and they live there.

And I met up with them at a bar.

And it was like 10.30, 11 o'clock at night or whatever.

And I was like, all right, boys, I'm out of here.

And they're like, Jesus, Johnson, you're going to walk home now.

And I was like, yeah.

I'm going to walk home.

When I walk home, they're like, it's a little dodgy out there.

And I'm like, listen, Europe.

I'm from America.

What are they going to do?

Shoot me?

No.

Like,

I would.

What with the blade do you do?

Dude,

when I'm in Europe, and not that I'm like always there or anything like that, but when I'm there, I have no fear.

None whatsoever.

That is a glaring weakness in Americans because I'm going to tell you right now, I love America.

I love being an American.

Our fitness is off.

I believe Europeans, most Europeans can run a great distance while smoking.

Like they're just built to do it.

I feel like when you have guns, you're more used to gun violence.

Yes.

Whereas when you have knives, you're probably pretty tough to deal with.

And they fight in a way that is like, if we get into a fight in America, you go, what if they, we always go, what if they have a gun?

Right.

That's always the thing.

What if you start a fight with it?

These, like, I feel like, and obviously, I'm not, I'm probably wrong, but it just feels like Europeans look at fist fighting more casually with like soccer hooligan energy that kind of shit i can i can 100

i feel like they would just sock us up you're a hockey player i feel like the common european man is closer to a hockey player than the common american man

yeah i would say that because hockey players can just fight and they also have a black eye right now it's like i'm talking to a guy with a black eye right now this isn't like out of the realm i'm just saying a lot of americans i think we think we're better at fighting, but we never fight.

And Europeans don't think about it, and they just fight a lot.

I would agree with that.

I've only been in one fight ever in Europe.

By the way, this is not from a fight.

Oh, that'd be great.

And this was Dublin.

You didn't let me finish my story.

You're doing that thing where you cut people off.

This was the walk home.

And I go,

right there.

This is from filming, actually.

Really?

From filming the show.

From the show?

Yeah, dude.

There's a scene.

So it starts, let me say, La Mascots starts.

It's out now, first episode, seven episodes.

So subscribe to the channel and then watch it.

And then watch enough so these guys get a season two.

That's very nice.

And then you can cast Brendan Sagalow as your little brother.

That's the whole thing.

I'm just angling you and Sagalow,

have to play brothers.

I don't know if you know him.

Of course I know Sagalo.

Yeah.

You two would be.

How would I not know Sagalow?

We've been saying we look identical.

Not we, but they've been saying we look identical for 10 years.

You are absolutely the, if you're the successful brother that bails Brendan out.

Very bad.

And it's crazy that final version is to succeed.

You hold his life a mess, and then Sagalow's got even bigger mess where he's like, what the fuck?

It's actually perfect because Ari plays our older brother.

I love that.

I love that.

But was I say with the, so we're filming a scene like just last week where...

Don't get me wrong, this is not an action scene by any stretch of the imagination, but I have to do a barrel roll at one point.

Okay.

And I haven't done a barrel roll.

Over 25.

A barrel roll is not as easy as he thinks.

Oh, I haven't done a barrel roll.

Over 30, damn near impossible.

I was going to say 30 years, probably.

And I fucking dive onto the ground and my shoulder hits just perfectly.

Like, you know, when you do a somersault and you feel like the momentum starts to flip you?

I haven't done a somersault.

Probably.

If I wasn't drunk, a sober somersault, 35 years.

That's what, yeah.

But you remember the feeling.

You remember when that centrifugal horse starts to flip.

The whole thing is just giving your whole

roll into it.

So I dive, right?

And my shoulder hits perfectly.

And I'm like, I'm feeling that momentum.

And in my head, I'm like, dude, you nailed this.

I was like, this is going to look so fucking sick on camera.

God, dude.

Tom Cruise doesn't have shit on you, bro.

I'm the fucking man.

And as I go to pop up after the barrel roll, there was a camera right there.

And I just went right into the lens how did you do

how did you cover it when you bump your head do you do the thing where you grab it and you go da da or do you just go and then try to walk it off no i did the like try and look cool yeah where like i probably you know like when you get done again not that you get hit in the face all the time but when you get hit you're like is another one coming yeah so i like popped up and was like looking around and then i was like is the camera good is the camera like trying to make sure you guys just want to make sure we get the shot yeah just go back into that camera's all set right

we're good with the shot it's clean when we were i was just in uh portland maine doing shows and at the empire comedy club great club it's awesome little fucking room i love it i had a blast but sagalo and i were outside smoking a bowl and it was windy and i went to uh go between the door the door was open right so the door was propped open so there was like a so i was going to put the bowl in there and like

there's like a lock box so i fucking slammed my head into it but i tried to act cool in front of brendan and damien and i was like i'm fine but then i was occasionally checking if I was bleeding.

Cause I don't know if you've ever busted your head open like that, but you hit and you don't feel it.

And then all of a sudden.

It feels wet.

Yeah.

And then you just go like, I don't know if you ever had blood trickle down your head, but when it happens, you go like, what was that?

When I was in middle school, I wrestled with this kid, Martell, and he like pulled my head into the locker and it went into the, like my, you know, the thing that you like lift your locker up to pull it.

It like went in there and he just like, you didn't like me to be like, bam, we were like wrestling in the hallway and it pulled off.

I was like, oh, you didn't get that.

And then it just went, and then just blood started trickling down.

And I was like, oh, no.

I'm like walking into class.

I'm like, ah!

He was like, Brian Cushing.

Brian Cushing, that was fucking nuts.

Dude, I had a kid one time.

I was a freshman in high school.

And you know when you like, you'd flick coins at people?

People are so good at that.

Dude, like doing like pennies.

Yeah.

Did you ever have that?

People could, you always had to flick it like that and they would fucking shoot you.

It would fucking come out like a bullet, dude.

Those kids were, God only knows where they are.

All in jail.

they're like they're like the cookie monster club pays the CEOs are in jail

but this kid came in one day and I was sitting in the front of class and he was like yo feidelberg and he did that and it hit me right in the eye perfectly where I just immediately lost consciousness so he came in and went yo feidelberg

and went

i just i mean collapsed onto the day

that might be that guy's greatest day of his life when you knock someone out with a with a middle school thing dude, if I had to see.

I woke up in the nurse's office.

Really?

They were like, you have a scratched retina.

You got to go to the hospital.

I was like, what happened?

So for your perspective, you're walking in.

No, I was seated.

You were seated.

I was seated.

He walked into class.

I was just like, yo, fights.

What an interest.

So when I went down

the table,

seven up, dude.

You got fucking popped.

Waking up.

Waking up in the nurse's office has to be the most embarrassing thing ever.

You changed schools.

No way.

not actually.

I did change schools not because of that, but I did change schools.

That was 100% the rumor why.

Yeah, remember?

And then he got popped with a penny, and then he fucking went to school.

He was gone after that.

He didn't want to be around.

Yeah, that is embarrassing stuff like that in middle, in high school or middle school will sink you.

Like getting dropped, dude.

But that guy, after he did that, he was probably like looking at his hand and he's like, I'm fucking dangerous.

Like Toby Maguire in the mirror.

Dude, if I just hit someone with a spitball and like, and they went down, I'd be like,

I'd be trying that shit all the time.

I'd be like aiming it at my mom's boyfriend at dinner.

What are you doing?

I go, just shut up.

This worked at school today.

I was trying to knock Joe out.

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Yeah, dude,

you made your own TV show, which is the way to go now.

Because regular media.

Did you guys try to pitch to a regular?

We, no, we did not.

Well, you had a machine of of barstool behind you.

Yeah, we had like, we had talked to a few people who were like, it's kind of worth pitching, but it had gotten to the point where we were like,

let's just put it out.

If it's good, it'll get a season two somewhere.

Yeah.

Let's just put it out.

I mean, I think that's like.

I always think that's like kind of an important thing to share with the audience because I, as a fan of stuff, I always want to know.

And it's like, we've reached the point now where it makes more sense just to make it on your own.

Yeah.

Because these companies are just, they're frantically, they don't, they're grabbing at whatever.

Right.

No one, the media landscape has shifted so much that it's like, dude, Howard Stern freaking out

has been so interesting.

Wait, I didn't even know that.

So SiriusXM, they're not, basically what they're saying is his contract's expiring.

And SiriusXM's like, we're not going to give you $200 million.

You're fucking irrelevant.

I was just saying, I haven't even heard his name.

You're absolutely irrelevant.

And the article I read today in the New York Post said that he gets like super pissed about Alex Cooper signing that $150 million deal.

And he's mad about Joe Rogan being like, oh, everyone talks because Rogan's in the, people don't think about this.

Rogan's in the position that Howard was in.

Yeah, oh, yeah.

Where Howard was like, if you wanted the interview, you go on Howard.

You know what I mean?

Here's the thing.

I worked at Sirius XM for eight years.

I will tell you this right now.

I'm kind of enjoying watching Howard freak the fuck out.

Really?

Truly, I'm finding that out because Jay would never say, Big Jay would never say this.

Big Jay is an acolyte of Howard Stern.

He loves Howard Stern.

He's a huge fan, knows everything the guy did.

I like the private parts.

Yeah, yeah.

I read Miss America.

It's about it.

I understand what he did.

I respect the fuck out of Howard Stern's career.

He was the number one guy.

He dominated an insane field.

You're a relic.

You're a dinosaur.

Remember when he went after Ari Shafir a couple years ago?

Do you remember that?

About 2015, 2016, we can look it up.

He was very publicly like, Shafir shit on Howard Stern somewhere.

And Howard Stern's like, who the fuck is this Ari Shafir guy?

Let me tell you something, buddy.

Podcasting isn't going anywhere.

It's fucking, you got to go to broadcasting school, become a broadcaster.

And you're like, you fucking boomer.

You sound so old.

How does someone like that, like someone like Howard Stern, get stuck thinking old?

Where it's like dude you thought young and then that's how you became you it's what happens to all of them it's what happened it's what happened to lauren michaels it it's what like

you get rich and you get insulated so people don't give you honest opinions because they're trying to get the money that you have so they're just going like yes yes right so no one's going well howard it's actually evolving but when you when you were someone who did the evolving like shouldn't you shouldn't you realize that like someone's probably going to evolve it's probably because all of his energy went into evolving.

Yeah, and it's like, why would you want to do it again?

Here's why retiring is so important.

It's necessary because you don't want to do that second or third or fourth evolution to stay relevant.

The thing that where I started getting annoyed with Howard is he was publicly pissed off because he went to a Knicks game and none of the players recognized him.

No one cared.

And the refs did.

And I was like, yeah, the refs are all greased-haired guys that are like, hey, Baba Booi's penis.

How you doing, Howard?

Watch me call charge on this big black.

And like, nah, I'm your boss.

But he went on his show and he was like, you know,

I feel so insulted.

No one fucking knew who I was.

And it's

honestly, I can, I can, I have empathy with him because imagine being the biggest guy in the world and everything under you crumbles.

So I have complete empathy for him, that he was the king and now it's all changed.

The landscape's completely changed.

Where I get annoyed is as a former employee of Sirius XM, he did fucking nothing to help the future generations.

We weren't allowed to play Howard Stern clips.

We weren't allowed to talk about Howard Stern.

All Big J wanted was acknowledgement from Howard Stern on the bonfire.

And one time someone called in Howard Stern and they're like, yeah, what's up, Howard?

Hey, bonfire, crackle, crackle.

And he hung up and he goes, crackle, crackle, what the fuck is that shit?

And then it's like, and we wanted to play it and then our bosses were like you do not you do not play a clip of howard stern really we're like we're on his

thing yeah like

that so i don't have any sympathy for him that was i not that i've been to i have empathy but i don't have sympathy i'm like i get that you the things have changed that must suck to be in that position But fuck you.

Dude, not again, you were at Sirius a million times more often than we ever were.

There was a phase where we were going up there somewhat regularly.

And

to a person, there wasn't one person who ever talked to us at Sirius who didn't say, Howard Stern's a fucking asshole.

Well, he shuts down.

He has a whole wing that you're not allowed to go to.

That's what people would always say.

That like he has an elevator that you don't even see him.

You're not allowed to talk to him.

You don't have to see in the hallway.

You have to get out of the way.

That's insane, dude.

And how did you end up like that?

You did a lot of good stuff.

You're not that talented.

No one is that talented.

No one's Saudi Arabian prince talented.

Like, you do not look at him.

You must look at the ground.

If Howard is here, you do not speak to him.

You do not bring him up.

It's like, dude, Stern could have put over.

He's just, now he just sucks off celebrities that are already made.

So no one gives a shit, Howard.

You're just a part of a public run that everyone has to do when they have a high-powered publicist.

You didn't grow anybody.

You didn't go, hey, this big Jay guy.

Super funny.

Big fan of mine.

Have him come on.

Jay should have been on Stern as early as 2016.

And I'm saying that as his co-host, because if the opportunity ever would have came, if they were going, hey, we want the bonfire on Stern, you know what that would have done?

We would have been young and funny and around him and we would have been looking for his

basically approval.

Right.

And then it would have just grown.

And then you'd go, oh, well, Stern, whoa, and he doesn't.

And then it sets up Sirius to go, well, we got the next guy.

And then there's an heir.

Because there's an heir apparent.

But there's no heir.

So no one gives a fuck.

So don't get mad about Alex Cooper.

Don't get mad about Joe Rogan.

You fucking did this.

This is where I'm annoyed.

This is the only reason because I brought it up and I'm like, fuck this.

I got a podcast.

I'll say this.

He doesn't count this as broadcasting.

His old ass isn't going to listen.

Also,

I was, I like Howard Stern.

I wish you would have done the right thing.

That's that, that.

I'd heard it.

Obviously, like I said, I'd heard it when I go to serious that, like, he's an asshole.

You can't talk to him.

But not setting up the company for the future and the company that you built, the company that will have

company that paid you half a billion dollars the company that will probably more than a billion likely continue to if you continue to build the company but also this is what i don't understand it's like when i see obviously i'm a giant pro wrestling fan and i see wrestlers get older and you're like they still want to wrestle they still want to be the man and it's like you have old man tits i don't want to see you flop around with your old man titties become a manager manage a young talent and then you got the heat of you being an old being like well this guy was a legendary wrestler.

I never understood why Hulk Hogan was never a manager.

Or like you put him in the corner of a guy because it's the ego is so big they don't want to put over anybody.

And I would, I would say,

Dave obviously tried to build Barstall in like Stern's vein.

Sure.

I would say Dave does the exact opposite of that, where Dave has.

Well, he understands business.

Not that he's like named.

No matter if you agree with him on what, the guy knows business.

He's grown his company into a very successful thing.

Sirius is scared.

That's why they're giving alex cooper 150 million that's why they're giving the fucking other people these crazy contracts but also fuck starter how much goddamn money do you need right but that's my thought i mean that's my thought on like a lot of people is like you're comfortable like dude you how awful are you trying to make your grandkids

that's my question you keep asking for money that's fine you'll be fine Your grandkids are going to suck asshole because they're going to be the children of rich kids.

Right.

Which very hard to get out of there.

Dude, we were talking about it with just like, I think, actors the other day or something like that.

Where, who are we talking about?

I forget, but it's some actor who's like, oh, we haven't seen him in a while.

Like, God, it must be, it must have been hard for him to get work.

And it's like, no, dude, he made $20 million on his last movie.

He didn't need to get work.

Jim Carrey has enough money that he never has to do anything again.

Right.

If he wants to paint, he can paint.

He wants to make a movie, he can make a movie.

And it doesn't mean he's not doing things.

I'm sure he's doing little things that make him happy.

Go away so people can miss you.

Yes.

you you said that once when you came on and i i always remember that i i remember when you come on a lot because you say a lot of good stuff

yeah man we're gonna push this episode

because oh every time you come on you're so strong and brave

you never get scared in ira bars so cool dude dude you're ready to take on all those irishmen i'll get i'll bring you troubles yeah dude i would have

would have kicked this shit out of me and there was

annie and lisa would have just been screaming It would have been primal screams.

Aim him alone.

There's a slapping splash.

There was, yeah, you fucking break it.

I can't break him.

He doesn't have bones.

Snowy can punch in a worm.

Meanwhile, they're like, this guy's all head.

Just knock him in his big head.

His fucking body will follow.

Yeah.

I um

the uh sorry, I was just gonna double-way thing.

No, one other thing you've said that has genuinely changed my life.

Hell yeah, that's awesome.

Dude, this is like I'm dead serious.

I owe you like a hundred days.

You go eat my poop.

I said eat poop.

It's close.

It's close.

Oh no.

Oh no.

Bro, when I'm laying in bed, I remember when I first saw Son of a Gary.

Yeah.

And I was, I was, I watched you.

I honestly forget the setup, but it's like, you're not eating late enough.

Oh, yeah.

And I always thought, I was like, that doesn't make any sense.

You don't eat before bed.

And dude, whenever I'm laying in bed, tossing and turning, I'm like, I got to eat.

Oh, no, that's so bad for you.

That's like the worst medical advice.

I am asleep in a fucking moment.

Yeah.

I like, I wake up.

Like, don't get me wrong.

I wake up, there's chocolate all over my bed.

Oh, yeah.

You can't.

Every doctor would tell you that that is the worst advice to follow.

It happened.

Last night I got in.

I got back to New York at like 2 a.m.

I got back to my apartment at like 3, and I was so fucking tired.

And I was in bed, tossed, but

overtired, so I couldn't fall asleep.

And I'm like, God, I got soda in the morning.

What the fuck?

Am I?

He goes, that's what he.

I was like, wait, get some snacks.

Yeah.

I'm never going to hate on some snacking.

I love some snacking.

In fact, last night I had to fight it because I was like, I got home late and I was like, I just want to eat.

I'm going through.

We're obsessed with freeze-dried Skittles.

Oh, wait, really?

I haven't bought them yet.

Brother.

Really?

Oh, my brother in Christ.

It is a motherfucker.

It is.

We first had them on.

I had them on Burt's tour bus on the fully loaded tour.

They got like the

Skittles wasn't making them.

So they were like, you could buy them at candy shops and they'd be called like

freeze-dried like fruit.

And it was clearly Skittles that were popped out.

And then Skittles was like, well, if you motherfuckers are going to do it, we're just going to do it with it.

And now you're like, oh, oh, man.

And we, dude, Katie and I do it like cocaine.

We literally, we call GoPuff like it's our plug.

We're like, do you want, do you want to order GoPuff?

Dude, I've seen them a lot because they're pushing them.

They're at the front of the door.

I'll let you try them on the way out.

We got two bags.

You got one of them open.

and then last night katie was like we can't have freeze dried skittles of slate i go i know it's just a couple lines it really is can i just get one for a keyboard

in this crack and then they're dust

yeah that's like

but back to the stern thing i think that's my problem with media is that they just don't set up anybody like

what you guys are making

It sucks there's not a comedy central around to go like, yeah, we'll take a shot on this.

Yeah.

Because whenever you read stories about famous shows or famous things that became, it was like SNL.

They're like, yeah, we'll take a shot on this thing.

And now it's an institution.

That is what I read.

You know, like Hollywood Reporter does like those roundtables.

Yeah.

I read it.

Oh, man, it's just, that's just a fucking lemon party.

Most of those things, just actors sucking each other's dicks while they're sucking other actors' bits.

Remember when you played Napoleon?

Dude.

Like, oh, fuck, oh, fuck.

We're on a six-month shoot.

I'm going to fucking lose it.

That's those the round tables, but much like, much like lemon party.

I'm like, I don't know something about it for me.

I wish I was in this space.

There's something about it that just

makes it appealing to look at.

Oh, man.

Imagine you and the boys into retirement home laying around

in a perfect triangle like that.

But Melissa McCarthy said basically exactly that, where she was like, in the new age, it sucks because you're arguing with an algorithm.

Whereas like 10 years ago, 15 years ago, you could get someone in a suit to believe in you and be like, you know what, let's take a shot on this person.

Whereas now it's just like the numbers don't make sense.

So no.

Now, I mean, now they're not even hiding it.

They just go, how many followers do you have?

Yeah.

And you go, ah, I don't know.

That's the weird thing to me is now people make stuff based on if people are watching you already.

You go, well, you're supposed to

like Netflix is like, well, we don't give you a special unless you have.

like a million followers and you're like but how am i supposed to get to a million followers yeah you're the biggest part

You're supposed to go, hey, this guy made a really good thing.

Here you go.

But they don't care if it's good anymore.

Now they go, they have a million followers.

Put the slop out.

Yeah.

Because those people,

they are really treating us like pigs.

Just know that.

All streamers, all networks, they're treating you like a pig.

They just go,

and they throw it in the thing and you go,

and you're like, scoot over, I want to watch.

And then occasionally you get a severance.

Occasionally, you get like something that breaks through the mold and is

in that.

But like even hbo hbo lost its riz

so bad that they were like we're hbo max again

and they're like

we got a great show and you're like well what's up with shark week

i don't know dude i was drunk and i hooked up with them that's what they're doing they go i got fucking hammered and we did a merger i didn't even know

but it just like watching like stuff that you make like like the show you made that should be something that a network should be like, oh, do we have an interest in?

Should we make it?

Yeah.

Let's take a risk.

Like I just did something with the Almost Friday guys.

Oh, no.

And they make shit that you're like, these guys should all be employed by SNL.

Back in the day, they would have been like, Lauren would have been like, well, we got to hire all these guys.

They're all great actors.

They're funny.

They have like a thing.

But now it's like, well, I understand them just going and making their own shit.

Yeah.

Because

why would you take any notes now?

Because you guys have made seven episodes making your own shit.

That was, honestly, that was while we were writing it we were like constantly saying that we're like hopefully this is the last time we can ever do this without notes i mean so let's just do whatever the fuck we want no notes is the best feeling in the world when we did when we did on the road that was probably my favorite stand-up thing i've ever made because it truly was just me and him going let's just cut that joke just because i don't like it Like I was, we could start it off way stronger.

And then you put it out and people are like, this is awesome.

And you go, great, because this is just what we made.

And we didn't want, I didn't have to have a guy.

Bill Burr said this one time on his podcast where he's like, I can't stand conference calls because there's always one guy.

He's like, I just throw my phone on the bed and let him talk.

And there's one guy proving that he has to have a job.

So he goes, oh, maybe we should change the color of the background.

Pimps rolling his eyes right now because he knows that he produces so much stuff that he knows.

There's guys that are just literally in the way.

Yeah.

Where they go, this is a great idea.

Can I poop on it?

Would you mind if I shit on the chest of your idea?

And then you have to go, no,

Great to meet you, Corey.

Okay.

And you were at Cartoon Network for five years as an assistant, and you're going to butt fuck our whole project.

Great.

Like, we did, you know, I was on, which you guys really helped.

I went on KFC when we were stalled.

Dan St.

Germain and I wrote a cartoon with Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we were stalled.

on it.

And then I went on, I don't know if I ever told you the story.

I went on KFC.

we talked about it you guys put it out as a clip barstool put it out as a clip i was in charlotte at the comedy zone i got off stage saint germain was featuring for me so we're both together on the road

i turned my phone on after like off airplane mode

Like so many texts and calls from UTA, they never call me.

They never call me.

My like, my agent Mike will text me.

But seeing UTA missed calls, you're like, oh, no.

And they're like, and I call my big agent, like the guy that only reaches out when shit's real.

And he was like,

I just got off the phone with Nick Kahn from WWE, the president of WWE.

He's,

well, he's really angry.

And I was like, about what?

And he's like, Barstool put out a clip of you talking about the show.

And I was like, yeah.

And my agent was like, all right, well,

we're in a little crisis mode right now because they were like really angry that you were very public about.

And and I was like fuck them.

They're stalling.

They're not getting back to us on notes.

They're not telling us what they want.

I mean, that process was four years of them just fucking edging us.

Four years of edging us, 2020 to 2024, edging us

to the point where Stone Cold stopped responding to the emails.

And I don't blame it because it was just out of thing.

But I remember being like, oh no.

Like, are we in trouble?

And then my manager called me and he was like, great job.

He's like, great job.

He's like, because now,

now they're going to do something.

Yeah, now the balls in the night.

And it was.

And they're like, it picked back up.

And we like started talking.

And then Peacock, we got to the point where we wrote the show.

We wrote the episode, a pilot, that they like, this is why I hate the fucking, and I'm sorry if this is too much industry talk for listeners, but we wrote a script that I loved and was so good that Peacock.

Was like telling our managers like oh, we're like passing it around the office like people love this this script it's so funny the idea of stone cold working at a black law firm with like miss pat is so funny and i don't think i knew that part and that's unreal and it was like yeah he like his his yeah like the main villain was steven sagal and it was like all this stuff that was so fucking weird but funny but based in wrestling you know we had like um stone cold went to a different world called habeas corpus where it was all dead Supreme Court justices and dead wrestlers.

And so it was like, dude, that was the most fun part of making that show was explaining that scene to Stone Cold Steve Austin about, like, you know, and then like Third Good Marshall will be talking to Andre the Giant.

And he was like, son of a bitch, just on the Zoom.

And he's like, I love it.

He was like, way on board.

We were doing, I think we were doing Macho Man talking to Scalia.

And we were like, yeah, you have to understand something.

we're like,

Plussy versus Ferguson.

That was it.

They're like arguing cases.

So it was like a really fun thing.

And then they were like talking about how they love the script.

And then you watched a network network it where they just went, um,

uh,

no,

really.

And then now we can't make that show because they own that show.

So if anyone ever wanted to make that show, they'd have to go pay Peacock to buy that show because they own the rights to it.

And with the wwe it was the intellectual property of the wwe so the wwe are co-owners so dan and i and steve own none of it so we just can't do it so you're just out there wimbling dead it's just dead but we wrote another cartoon and we sold it to fox but

to bring it back to what we were talking about i was like i'll make this i'll make this yeah like i will take money from my upcoming tour and just spend it on animation and do three 10 minute episodes similar to what you guys are doing Right.

Because I love the premise of this cartoon so much.

It's based on my childhood when I would visit my dad and I was like, no, I want to, I want to make this.

So when we went into meetings with Netflix, with Amazon or whatever, I was very like, hey, I'm going to make this.

Yeah, I don't need you.

If you want to make it with me, sick.

Yes.

But I want to make this and I want to make this specifically how I want to make this.

And they were like, you know, it's fucking 24-year-olds going like, there's like one old guy who's barely there.

And then a 24-year-old going like like

the vibes the vibes like I'm just like loving the vibes of what you're saying

it's like it needs to be shown and you're like shut up fuck hot you don't mean any of this but then Fox bought it and then immediately there by the way I want to state this Fox has been awesome and we're making the show I want to make but there was a moment where a new guy showed up and he went ah like that and you were like and then we had to have a side meeting with the head lady and I go I don't know what that was i don't like that yeah but i'm at the point now where it's like um i you kind of realize if you work back in the day 10 years ago working with the network you would be like sure yeah absolutely and we can make that work and we'll change it but now it's to the point where you go well you guys aren't making

everyone else is making good stuff right the reason tires great job by the way love goes the fart

i mean feiderberg had a scene with both vince vaughn and shane dilliff was that cool did you get to

it was like in between setups, did you get to talk to Vince Vaughan?

Yes.

Was he the man?

I think either the Pats and Bears had just played or we were playing or we were just talking mad.

You're a Boston guy.

He's a Bears fan.

So it ended up being perfect.

I also didn't know I was doing that scene until that day.

I had gotten a different role.

Oh, really?

So I got a different role.

And then what can you, would you tell us originally what the role is?

Yeah, it was one of the one of one of the tire guys when Shane.

It's the episode.

When he was doing the selling at the conference.

One of the guys on the floor.

Trying to get tickets to

the fucking Andrew tate guy yes yeah and like i had gone to hair and makeup and they did my hair like i mean if you saw it like really weird like in a way i never isn't that funny because you you're a guest but you don't want to give the you're like i i don't like this yeah i well i was like i was like i don't know like this just doesn't feel like a tire salesman in philly like i looked like a stoner and so mckeever was on set and we were kind of hanging out down there and he saw me and i i'm my guess is he saw me and was like that dude does not look like a tire salesman yeah so he changed roles and he was like, here's a script, go to wardrobe, change, and get back here.

And I didn't know Vince Vaughn was in the episode.

Really?

So I didn't know anything.

So I was like, were you a little...

How did you find out Vince Vaughn was in the episode?

I came downstairs and was like, McKeeby's like, you ready?

And I was like, yeah.

And he's like, all right, it's you, Shane, and Vince.

And I was like, who's Vince?

And he's like, Vince Vaughn.

And I was like, oh, fuck.

Did you get cold water?

Did you get the swimming in cold water feeling?

We're like,

not really.

I was actually like, all right, I got this.

Like, I got this.

Like, We can handle this.

But what fucked me was.

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But what fucked me was the

hair and makeup, they had put like a little cut on my hand that like Vince used in the scene as like a way to make me get them beers.

He kind of like blackmailed me with it.

And so I saw it right before the scene started.

And I was like, oh shit, that's on my left hand.

I cut with my left hand.

So this won't make any sense in the scene.

Cut with your right hand, John.

And I was cutting lemons and they go, action.

And I go to cut the lemon.

I'm like, be an athlete here, bro.

I go to cut the lemon and the knife rolls off and goes right into my thumb.

So you actually cut your finger.

I actually stabbed myself.

And Vince goes, I love it.

This guy's living for the role.

Look at this guy.

And I go, I pull it out.

Shane was the first one to walk in.

So me and Shane are locked eyes as this knife goes.

Dude, dude.

And my eyes just go like,

but I'm like, it's my first time ever acting.

Like, I can't call cut here, so I just got to fucking roll with it.

So I pull the knife out and I put the hand by my side and we do the full scene.

And then I look down and I've been leaking, dude.

Like, there's blood everywhere.

How bad was the cut?

I can show you a picture of it after.

It was, I, and I, I, so I had blood all on my pants, all on my feet, all like, it like spent all around the bar where I was walking back to the bus.

We just have to go all go back to work.

And that's like given to a lady.

Yeah.

And she's like, what the fuck scene did you guys do?

And they call cut, and I hold my hand up, and I was like, I think, and I, at this point, it's a bloody stump of a

girl.

I was like, I think I cut myself.

Vince Vaughn goes, Whoa, we got a method actor here.

That's fun.

They all come running out, and then McKeever was like, Yo, are you good?

Can we use this in the scene?

And I was like, I'm fine, like, let's go.

And then Netflix people were like, He can't do a scene openly bleeding everywhere.

But imagine if you would have got that scene.

This is what I'm talking about.

McKeever's got the instincts.

But it is true.

It's Tires is made because McKeever and Shane made something and went, here's the proof.

And then Shane's the fucking heavyweight champ of comedy.

So they were like, oh, we'll make a TV show.

And then Netflix looks brilliant because they fucking gave a show, but it was already made.

That's the thing.

It's like.

You fucking, they made it.

Yes, it was made for YouTube.

Then everybody.

And then you guys were like, oh, well, if people like this shit, we'll just make it for real.

And then everyone's like, oh, they're fucking genius.

They took a guaranteed win.

They're fighting tomato cans.

Vince Vaughn's the man.

So you get to hang out with him at all?

I mean, not a ton at all, but like, you know, sometimes the downtime in between scenes is you're like, oh, let me walk over there.

You just hope he doesn't look at his phone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Whenever there's a big celebrity, they look at their phone, you go,

on billions, I'd always be like, ah.

Terry O'Connell's looking at his phone.

God damn it.

I want to talk to him about sliders.

He would, before the last take, though, he did like, not like pull us into a tight huddle, but he kind of gave McKeever came out.

He's like, all right, boys, we got it.

Like, just have a fun one.

And then Vince Vaughn kind of gave like me and Shane like the little thing.

He goes, all right, boys, now the stakes stay the same.

The stakes stay the same.

But then we riff.

Then we riff.

And it was like, whatever you say, bro.

That's so fun.

Don't get me geeked up.

Yo, it was like, I love you.

Can I kiss you?

I'm going to kiss you.

Can I kiss you?

I love you so much.

And then after that, I was done.

You know, I was there for 20 minutes, but then I just stood in the corner and just like watched him the rest of the day because I was like, if you guys are gonna let me sit here, I'm gonna fucking sit here and watch Vince Vaughn.

Uh, Vince Vaughn is a guy that um

absolutely is worth meeting, yeah.

He's the real deal, he like

he is, he is who you hope he is, bro.

When I met him, so we get down, uh, McKeever's like walking me down a set, and he, I'm like, who's Vince?

He goes, Vince Vaughn.

I look up, there's a 6'5 guy.

I'm like, oh, boy.

I'm like, yeah, there he is.

He's on his cell phone just talking Notre Dame ball.

And I was like, of course he is.

Of course he's doing exactly what he should be doing.

doing.

I went to the Super Bowl two years ago in Vegas, Niners Chiefs.

Michael Che got me a ticket.

Che's a Niners fan.

And Shane let me crash in his hotel room.

Big ups to the big dog.

Shout out.

That was fucking huge.

He was doing a Bud Light thing.

And then Shane goes, I can just ask Bud Light for another hotel room.

And I was like, really?

And then he calls him up.

He goes, I need another hotel room.

And then Shane took the new hotel room and then I just slept in the one he was in.

Didn't give a fuck.

It was Vegas at the Super Bowl.

It was unbelievable.

I was like, dude, this is the greatest.

This is like a birthday, Christmas, and wedding gift

combined into one.

And

we go to the Super Bowl.

Shane's like with Post Malone.

He's with the Bud Light guys.

So I know he's, and McCusker was there.

And they were all drinking with Shane's dad up in the suite.

Okay.

I was with Che watching the game.

And the 49ers lost in fucking overtime.

So we're bummed.

I don't want to hang out.

I don't want to do anything.

Che and I leave the stadium and we're like,

what do you want to do?

And he's like, you want to get dinner?

And I was like, yeah.

And then every place, the Super Bowl just let out.

You couldn't get a table anywhere.

You literally could not get a table anywhere.

And we're at Che's hotel and he's like, I ate at this steakhouse like two days ago.

You want to go see?

And I was like, yeah, sure.

We walk up and the general manager sees Che and comes out of the, like, it's like in one of the hotels.

So it's like, almost like a mall.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he comes out and he goes, Michael Che.

I guess they fucked Che's steak up.

And the guy remembered and he's like, I'm so sorry about your steak the other night.

And Che's like, oh, I don't really care about that.

He's like, are you guys trying to get a table?

And Che was like, yeah, but we can't sit anywhere.

The guy's like, I can get you a table, just two of you.

And we're like, yeah.

And he walks us into the restaurant, sits us next to Vince Vaughn and his wife and his kid.

And Vince Vaughn's sitting there and he knows Che.

And he goes, hey, what's up, Michael?

And we're like, good.

He's like, and Vince Vaughn's out in the most Vince Vaughn way that it,

if I ever see him again, I'm like, you made me feel better about my team losing a Super Bowl.

Because he was like, oh, you guys are 90 or 50.

He goes, oh, that's so tough.

You guys have such a good defense.

And I mean,

when he blew his Achilles and also Brock Purdy's the man.

You just got to love Brock Purdy.

And I was like, yeah.

I was like, I told Katie, I was like, yeah.

It was like a guardian angel came down.

I was like, you're going to be all right.

And you're like, thanks.

I needed to hear that, dude.

It was so fucking great.

It was great.

So, yeah, he is the man.

Like, meeting him, I was like, dude, I love him.

And then Shane was like, we got Vince Vaughan for Tyres.

I was like, I love it.

Yeah, dude.

I love it.

We were talking before, I think it was before we started recording, but you were like, you know, Shane's so famous, he doesn't realize how easy it is to text people.

Oh, yeah.

When we were on set, I was like, how'd you get Vince Vaughan?

He's like, I guess we're just friends.

Yeah, it's nuts, dude.

It's nuts.

We were like when Jay and I opened for, it was me, James McCann, and Big Jay opening for Shane in Salt Lake City.

We had done a couple cities with him before, which is just insane.

You like fly private and then just work, you know, and then like Shane's not a guy where he's going to make you do lame shit during the day.

Yeah, yeah.

He's not going to be like, we got to go look at the forest.

He's like, I want to sleep.

And I'm like, hell yeah, I want to play Steam Deck and sleep.

So every city, I would, we'd check into the hotel.

I would like smoke weed, play Steam Deck, go walk and get a coffee, and then just hang out till the show.

It fucking ruled.

But there's we all separate, and then in Salt Lake, we were coming together and we're like downstairs.

And Grace, Shane's assistant, was like, Oh, Shane's at the bar with Post Malone, and you're like, Of course, yeah,

I was waiting for one of these of just like a crazy famous person that's hanging out with our friend.

And then he fucking like he knows Post Malone really well because the Bud Light commercials and shit.

But he came out to the show, and it was like, What's funny about Shane is Shane gets famous people to act regular.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like he doesn't change, They change for him.

And I'm talking about NFL players.

I'm talking about famous actors.

Like, you get around Shane and you go, Shane's being himself.

Yeah.

These motherfuckers are bending for him.

Like, watching NFL players be like, stop.

And she's like, what do you got?

And you're like, stop.

Like, watching George Kittle be like, quit it, Shane.

I'm like, shut up and fucking chuck in a beer with me, pussy.

And you're like, this is awesome.

Because it's just like you're watching literally your friend have red, like people that I would act gay around, I'm like, ah, well, you fucking not just being regular around my friend.

I would be like, and one time you caught the ball.

I was like, when I spazzed out in front of Nate Diaz talking about the Niners, because Shane was like, oh, Nate, my buddy Soder's a Niner fan.

And I was like, all I'm saying is, gotta do this.

You gotta do that.

And Nate was like, I'm not fucking listening to this.

He just fucking walked away.

I was like, oh, I spazzed too hard on the fucking Niners with Nate Diaz.

Dude, that's the one.

You just watched him go like, this guy's fucking crazy.

He just walked off.

But I am, you're a,

you're a Massachusetts.

What do they call you guys?

It's a great question.

Massachusetts?

We're Coloradans, but you're Massachusetts.

I don't even know.

Bostonians.

Bostonians from the Commonwealth.

From the Commonwealth.

That sounds soul to me.

But I was never a hockey guy.

You play hockey.

You're a hockey.

You're hockey through and through.

You're a hockey guy.

Yes.

I'm getting into hockey and I'm a Bruins fan because I didn't have a team.

Yeah.

You told me me this once on KC Radio.

I got so excited.

And I'm in.

But

I feel bad because the second I've checked in, you guys have nosedived.

Including losing Marshan and like losing stuff that I'm like, I like that guy.

And they're like, well, he's gone now.

He was there for 12 years.

Losing Marshand is losing Marshan was one where I didn't.

One of those ones, like, I didn't realize it was going to affect me the way it did.

That was Jerry Rice to the Raiders for me.

Really?

Jerry Rice went to the Raiders and I went like, he's old.

My God, I miss him.

Yeah.

but like also like but jerry rice martian was never jerry like martian was always the other guy right like so so past pastronaut but just because just

the guy like it was chara at first but then bergeron okay and then bergeron until last year and then martian became captain but he like martian always he was always a fan favorite sure but like he was always kind of a pest and kind of a dickhead so like yeah people didn't realize on your team but they also didn't realize how much skill he had yeah where it's like yeah he liked to lick a guy's face, but he's also one of the most talented players in the NHL.

Sure.

And then like losing a guy like that just fucking.

To the Florida Panthers.

Because the Panthers.

Let me tell you, since I've checked in, they're my number one rival.

I don't give a fuck about the original six.

I don't care who you have history with.

My history as being a Boston Bruins fan, which is only four years old, if

fuck the Florida Panthers.

But here's the thing with the Panthers is I can't hate them because they play such perfect hockey.

Really?

They play like they play.

They just remind me of the 2011 Boston Bruins, and that's my favorite team of all time.

Okay, so you watch them and you go, oh, you're bad.

That's how you're supposed to do it.

That's how you're supposed to do it.

Oh, look at a plot.

Second, third, and fourth line is supposed to be motherfucker.

Like, everyone is motherfuckers.

Katie's family.

I mean, I think Boston oftentimes gets lumped in as being like socks because of the Patriots or whatever.

Yes.

I would say the Bruins have the heart of Boston.

I would say that.

Now, I'm saying that because I'm marrying into a diehard Bruins family.

Yeah.

But it is interesting to watch because I'm like, I'm so, such an outsider that I feel like I'm learning Premier League soccer.

Right.

Like that's the way where I go.

There's songs.

I don't know what you guys are.

Which they are very similar.

Like people sometimes, in a derogatory sense, call hockey ice soccer.

Yeah.

And it's like, they are very, very similar.

I get it.

It's so fun, though.

It's, it's, it's,

actually, you know, I, I and many, many people say that it's the best like in-person experience.

It's unbelievable.

Joe List took me me to my first, or one of my first hockey games.

It was a Bruins game at the Islanders in Long Island

years ago.

And I went and I was like, oh, what have I been missing?

Non-stop action, very fun to follow.

Goals are like such an exciting thing.

A touchdown is great, but it's almost like every goal has the excitement of a deep bomb.

Yeah.

And that every like, oh, ah, ah, ah.

Or when it happens suddenly, you're like, my God, fuck.

And Ovechkin, Ovechkin does that better than anyone.

I think, where he like every time he scores, it's like the first and last time he's ever gonna score.

Like, it's a big fucking deal.

The place explodes, and he's fucking 50, yeah, and he's still doing great.

No, you know what's crazy?

He's my age, no, he's not.

Nah, he's a little, I think he's like 38.

Look up Alexander Ovechkin.

Because I know he's Russian,

but that he looks

weather.

Alexander Ovechkin is an an old boy.

Yeah.

39.

I'm going to kill myself.

It's over.

I'm 42.

I'm fucking done.

Bye.

Left episode of soda right here.

Get ready.

The Patreon.

Watch me swinging from a pipe.

I'm fucking, I'm cooked.

He's fucked, dude.

He looks like he's a homeboy.

Oh, my God.

He's 39 going on.

Yeah, Rumpel's still skinny.

Everyone sees Ovechkin and is like, God, that guy's like yager.

He's still playing.

He's not even the oldest guy in the NHL.

Oh, my God.

That just blew my mind.

I didn't know he was that old.

Fuck, that makes me feel so old.

What are

you doing?

Oh, Massachusetts.

Bay Stater.

Bay Stater.

Official term used by the state government.

Citizen of the Commonwealth.

Identifier used in state law.

Massachusetts in

a Massachusetts?

Asshole.

Derogatory.

That's the one we all know.

That's the one we know if you've been drunk.

A bunch of people watch Red Stars games.

Bay State or Bay State.

Massachusetts?

Massachusetts?

Massachusetts.

Massachusetts.

I've never heard that word in my life.

Oh, fuck.

Massifakachusetan.

I couldn't even get that up.

Baystate.

They try and teach us all to say that in kindergarten.

And by the end of the day, they're like, never mind.

We'll go a mass hole.

Did you?

Did you work on not having an accent?

Did your parents have an accent?

No.

I'm fascinated by this.

So the town I grew up in is Fall River, which is a very largely Portuguese town.

So they kind of have like a weird accent.

Brazil just has a pipeline in Massachusetts between

you guys having a bunch of Portuguese people.

I know that's Portugal, but Portuguese spoken by Brazilians.

Yeah.

And Everett was like,

Katie's from Framingham.

Large Brazilian population.

Martha's Vineyard.

How's your soccer team not unbelievable?

Well, how about this?

So I like that you fucking shoot right up.

Dude, there's

something.

In an always sunny episode one year, many, many million years ago, Rob McElaney wore a t-shirt that said FR Marksman.

And I just thought it was a cool shirt.

And I was like, oh, that's a cool shirt.

I'm going to Google it.

And I Googled it, and it was for the Fall River Marksman, which was a Portuguese soccer team in like the 1920s.

No, wow.

And it was like, awesome.

So I bought the shirt.

I was like, holy shit, it's from my hometown.

That's got to be, that's unbelievable.

But it is like, I forget exactly what year it was, but it's early 1900s.

It might have been up to the 40s, but it was like a Portuguese team in some

soccer league that I don't know about that was really good.

That's fucking awesome.

God, why can't Aurora do anything that I can wear a shirt?

I can't wear an Aurora mall shirt because of a shooting.

Aurora, we got to do something.

We're fucking down and out.

Get some Portuguese.

Let some Brazilians in.

Nigga, Venezuelans could start cooking in soccer.

I had one summer I worked on the Vineyard and I was a landscaper.

So it was just me and six Brazilian dudes.

Best job you ever had.

Really?

Oh my God.

Cause it was just like it was Martha's Vineyard landscaping.

So it was just like nice houses and beautiful views.

You're just doing edging on like perfect lawns.

And I didn't really, I was like 17 years old.

So I didn't really know what I was more just like, I was kind of like the foreman where I didn't tell the guys what to do.

But yeah, like when the house, when the people whose home it was had a question, they came to me.

Yeah.

So they went to the white guy.

It's the most Martha Vineyard thing you can do.

They're like,

I'm going to talk to him.

And you go, he looks lowest on the crew.

crew and you go he's white he's i was almost i could i could communicate some racist assets i'm not gonna talk to the fucking portuguese guy what is this

someone just punched the keyboard and they go he shouldn't be saying that um but so you so falls river did fall river didn't have accents it i mean it did but i also i went to

um school in rhode island okay i went to high school in rhode island so like

hockey uh no i I went.

It was, it was a boarding school.

I had a good hockey team.

I played hockey there, but, like, it was, I didn't go like for school.

Whenever anyone goes private or boarding school, I always go, because of Mighty Ducks 3.

I go, because of hockey?

It was one of those things where it was like, my dad was like, you should go.

And I was like,

in my head, I was like, I'm going for hockey.

Yeah.

I wasn't really.

You're recruiting me in reality.

I would have lied so much if I played hockey.

And they're like, you're going to boarding school?

You go, yeah, they begged me to come.

Yeah, yeah.

I said, maybe.

You got recruited over here.

You said, put me on your third line line and let me barely see the ice.

And they said.

Yeah, I'll play two-way with JV, no problem.

I'd love to be the equipment manager.

I think that would be really good for my game.

You know, you got to learn bottom-up, learn how all the equipment's used.

So you didn't have to like, because Katie's parents, do your parents have Boston accents?

No.

Katie's parents have very heavy Massachusetts accents.

They're very like.

Hi, Dan, how are you?

My parents will like, they'll slip in and out, but where Fall River is, it's right on the border.

like it's the last town in Massachusetts before you hit Rhode Island.

Okay, so it's kind of like it doesn't have Rhode Island kind of has a little Massachusetts accent.

Some people in Providence have the hacking the way they draw their ass and draws and you guys butcher the language.

And then people like to add R's to words that don't have that.

Yeah.

Draw.

The drawer is the word.

Bobby Kelly and Joe List.

I'm like, I want to slap you.

You say it so wrong.

My mom's like that.

My mom's that.

But I also grew up in Colorado where everyone enunciates over the top and you're like

is that the Colorado?

They call Colorado, Nebraska, and Kansas the broadcasters accent

because everyone speaks very

like there's no everything is tight the way you say it.

I can see that because my my dad's from San Francisco or he's from Oakland and the Bay Area accent is like people don't realize there is one.

But then you see Marshawn Lynch talk.

Yeah.

There it is.

Oh, I was going to say, Bay Area is never.

Maybe it's because I grew up with E40.

Yeah, but like I never never.

He had that.

I was like, ooh.

Yeah.

I'm not really thinking about.

Shane and I used to do, if what if E40 never became a rapper and he was just a pervert that goes to like porn conventions.

And he's like, Shane and I would do that on the road all the time.

We're going, ooh, I want to give Lisa Ann a bag of my cum.

Because these guys do all weird shit like that.

I made a hairdoll out of Alexis, Texas.

Ooh.

But yeah, you hear like Marshawn Lynch and he's like, I, what up, Buster?

Like the way they're like, what up, Mark-ass Buster?

Yeah.

Shit makes me laugh all the time.

I ain't no, I ain't afraid of you, doc.

You're like, oh, you're from the bay.

But I always think about yours as not yours.

Oh, the Aurora?

The Aurora.

What's up, Soda?

Those are all the people I grew up with.

The X-Games accent.

That's 100% real.

Aurora people have the fucking...

Soder's a fucking comic now, bro.

You fucking can't even.

And you're like, shut up.

Yeah, none of my friends really have.

Like, my old friends, a couple of them from high school have that Aurora, like

like burnout shit but i think this is them being older burnouts but it was interesting because katie was like she doesn't have any boston accent i i i don't she will sometimes slip into it when i used to get drunk she'll be like what the fuck you know and you're like what is it when i used to get drunk i'd have i think i think we just assume everyone from because like most people i know don't really have one yeah like can i tell you a phenomenon that i know of from being friends with joe list for 20 years and from marrying uh a bass dater

is

the people, the posers, the guys that you know that don't have accents and they go to college somewhere else and all of a sudden have like southy accents fascinates me because I would absolutely be afraid of being called out.

Dude, I know exactly what you're talking about.

There's a lot of them.

Katie and Kevin are like when we're on playing Rocket League or like on chat and we'll bring it up, they'll list like three people that like a oh yeah, came back from college.

I was like, what the fuck are you fucking talking about?

You didn't talk like that.

We had one kid he like went to college.

His name was like Robert.

Came back.

He's like, I'm fucking Bob.

I'm like, dude, what do you mean to do?

You don't get to pick a new personality

Actually, I'll overscan that you do get to pick a new personality at college, but it does not get to translate to your high school friends.

No, it does not.

And you cannot take

capital from your hometown and then convert it for your college that you can't be like, oh yeah, dog, I was like the most dangerous motherfucker in Laura.

And they come back and they're like, you smoked weed and you were a goofball.

And you're like, I was.

I have that happen.

Fall River is not a great town.

And people are like, you must be tough.

And I'm like, no, dude.

Like, I'm a, like, Aurora always gets a bad rap, but I'm from like South Aurora.

It's fine.

It was burbs.

It was straight up middle-class suburbs.

Yeah, people are going, it must be.

Like, North Aurora is fucking rough.

And I have, you know, I know people that live like

in North Aurora or people that I grew up with, like, have moved there or whatever and you're like oh that's tough i'm my mom lives right by the reservoir yeah yeah she's fine

she's great we're in a lovely part right off the highway i get out of town pretty quick pretty quick yeah i can get to denver pretty quick but i i'm always fascinated by that because it's like this thing of growing up It's insecurity that you watch people grow out of.

Doing that Boston accent thing, of course, that's just 100% insecurity because you're just going like, I want people to think I'm cooler.

I'm going fake an accent that make makes people think I'm fucking Leo in the or Mark Wahlberg in the department I'm this incredibly unique species

and don't get me wrong like I dabbed in it too like of course I did the guys I feel the funniest example of this are white dudes that talked black and then they come out of it in their 30s and you're like this is very funny are we acting like you were

what up now oh we from real though and then now you're going like I just don't agree with that

and you know who we're talking about

just being like a yo but for real though hey yo hey pause on that and this is how i'm feeling and then a year later they go it's just incredible that this would happen and i don't understand where this is coming from it's like you dork i got like three friends i'm waiting to make the transition like you got a couple more years and you're gonna go i can't be talking like this it's hilarious the day they wake up there was a comic that was on the the black circuit that had a name i don't want to give away his name because he is a nice guy but he was a white dude in the black comedy scene and he was like when i met him he was like i for real though i ain't even playing with that and then he moved out to la and i was at the improv and i saw him and i called him by his black comedy name and he went no no no

it's david and you're like motherfucker yeah

this goes full circle about like calling people

it's hairy they would know but but you do see that and you go, okay, you like you have to give them the space to come into their own.

Yeah, you're right.

I feel I'm making fun of it, but really when I see people doing that, you go, oh, you're finally comfortable being yourself.

Yes.

And if I tried to bully you into this, it would have taken you longer to figure it out because you would have held on tighter and been like, no, this is

who I really am, dog.

This is really who I am, dog.

I'm going to do that, though.

I'm just going to start.

My goal is all those guys that I know, now I'm only going to speak to them in an accent that isn't mine.

So if I see them at a comedy club or whatever, I'm going to be like, it's been good to see you.

How the hell are you?

And they're like, why are you talking like that?

You go, I just thought we were picking accents.

Why are you gay?

Can't talk like that.

But this is how I talk now.

You want to talk American black.

I want to talk Nigerian black.

You are a piece of shit.

That's the next

day.

White kids acting African black.

Have you ever been to Ghana?

And why not?

You do not know who I am.

And then they go, hey guys, sorry, I was going through a phase.

I got full dashiki.

Where is the big one?

Where is he?

I don't like you.

I have a full dashiki.

And they're like, what's fucking soda doing?

That is not my name.

Why do you call me that?

And then the next week, just being like, sorry, guys, I was fucking kind of in a weird place.

So I can normalize that.

Watch Feidelberg's show.

Watch KFC.

Follow Feidelberg.

He's fucking hilarious.

He is a house favorite here.

I'm a fan.

Katie's a fan.

And he's got a new show out with Harry.

Not Sax.

Harry.

And Tommy Smokes.

Watch Le Mascots and watch all the episodes and follow him on all social media.

You're the man, dude.

Dude, you are

the man.

Thank you so much for that.

I'm about that, dude.

Let's open some fucking cats.

Let's open some cards.

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