74: Wife’s Work Friend with Annie Lederman | Soder Podcast | EP 72

I'm going to be at the Funnybone in Richmond, Virginia, doing four shows, April 4th and 5th.

I will be in Spokane, Washington, May 1st, 2nd, and 3rd at the Spokane Comedy Club.

Doing five shows in Spokane, Washington, May 1st, 2nd, and 3rd, Spokane Comedy Club.

Dansoder.com for tickets.

See you then.

Bye.

When you come back, do you miss living here?

I have...

I think I don't really remember how I did it physically living here.

How long have you been in LA?

Since 2012.

Holy shit, really?

I moved back for one year.

I was here for 2016.

Oh, yeah.

After we did Ireland, you moved back here for a year.

But you've been there since 2012?

Yeah.

So you, you're...

Were you there?

Are you in LA longer than you've been in New York?

Yeah, I was only in New York for four years.

So you're like a full Los Angelino.

Yeah, I guess, but the people are starting to.

Everyone's always like, people are from, I'm like, what are you talking about?

The people are great.

And now I'm just like, oh, this is not.

It's not.

I haven't found my people in LA.

What is it specifically?

That they're phonies?

You can't have fun.

What?

I think, okay, I think.

Like, here I've been having fun.

Just no one's like mean to each other.

So then when I'm being like mean and funny, people like just sit there and take it.

And you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're also...

We're supposed to be comics.

You're a comic and from pennsylvania the philly area yes it it philly is similar to like a boston or like a chicago a lot of ball busty energy and it's like people in la are like i'm sorry is this aggression or yeah no they're very like and also like you're really not supposed to tell the truth in law that's why i didn't know it's like so obvious you're not supposed to tell the truth like the way you get into hollywood is like they're like oh we can trust that you're not gonna like tell the truth and in my head i'm so shocked by this now the fact that actors ever thought that they could tell us how to vote.

Oh, it's so bad.

Wild that for years they would come out and go, this fall, vote.

And it's like, you're

a liar.

You are.

You suck.

You have to pretend to be someone else.

So that we like you.

Well, just even actors doing podcasts and stuff, you're like, we're supposed to know less about you.

We're supposed to know nothing about you.

I don't want to know if you're in the Baha'i religion.

Rain Wilson.

It's like weird.

I don't want to know what you guys are up to.

Ruins the character.

That's why I never watched Billings.

I knew you.

I go, I can't watch Soder.

I know he's.

I know.

Listen, I can't watch this.

I know he's stupid.

There's no way he's stupid.

I know you're good because my dad liked it.

Yes.

But I do get nervous when I watch my friends, and it's just hard to.

I'm just thinking more like,

yeah, where are the lights?

Where are the

why is my friend being another character?

I always think about them practicing right before it happened.

And then we were

like nervous.

Watching my friends go like

that soft practice where you're not saying the words.

You are a good person.

You are a good person.

You're a good person.

You're a good person.

You gave me good advice, though, when I was doing that scene for Terrifier.

Terrifier 3, out now.

Go watch Andy Letterman.

I bullied my way onto that one.

See, if I wasn't a bully, I would never get anything.

You are in a very, you're a very effective bully.

Well, I'm not ever doing anything.

i'm trying to have a i'll have fun you're not an evil bully i'm just trying i used to always bully this sounds like so fake but i did i used to bully the bullies like so i was always like defending the like short guys or whatever in school and like fighting these people but you know how they have the

shifted and i'm like you know how they have like chaos good chaos neutral chaos bad no but i there's like bully good, bully neutral, bully bad.

And I think like you fall under bully good.

So does Shane.

Yeah.

Shane is a guy.

And we're from Philly.

It's like built into us.

But you're like, oh, I can, he's like a nuclear deterrent.

No, I love what he does.

Burr does it too.

Like, I love Shane's like such a good call-out guy.

Like, he's so good.

Like, and I just grew up being a call-out person.

And then you're like, oh, wait, people don't want to be.

I'm like, oh, it never occurred to me people didn't want the truth.

I've always thought, like, oh, be easier.

We'll just get it done with.

As a

people pleaser, it's a superpower to me.

People go, that's not how that is.

And you go, what do you do?

Here's the problem.

I'm also a people pleaser.

So then I suffer.

So you do the bullying and then I suffer over the bullying.

You go, why the fuck did I do that?

Yeah.

I go, oh, kind of.

I don't know what it is.

I'm just like, have you had?

I want people to like me and then I do very unlikable things.

And I'm like, well, have you.

But it's likable to me and people that are like me.

Has that happened to you a lot in LA?

Have you done stuff and then people have gotten mad and you haven't realized they're mad until later?

So many people

run me and I'll go, what?

I go, like, it'll be such, so much time will have passed that I won't even know.

They won't remember what I said or did.

And I'm like, I promise you, I can tell you what time period it was.

Like, you know, so it was like Rick Lastman, I did his podcast and we talked about how I had said something that like offended him years ago.

Sure.

He was like, it was just really mean.

And I was like, okay, so when we were hanging out, since we don't remember what it was about, when we were hanging out, I had just come from New York, right?

So you were hopped up on the...

This is what we do, right?

Like if I sit at the table at the cellar and I'm not passed, like Michelle Wolf will like take the thing and goes, just pay for it.

I don't think you should be here.

And it's funny, and it's not, it's like hilarious.

That was a very funny move.

By the way, a move.

She'd put the little table tent thing right in front, and I wouldn't leave.

Credit where credit is due.

Schumer at her peak.

Unbelievable at that.

Someone would sit down and Schumer would only break conversation to put that in front of a person.

That's so good.

And then look back in a hilarious way.

It's great.

It's funny.

There's a, for those of you who don't know, the back table at the comedy seller has a small sign that says only performers of the comedy seller can sit at this table.

And yeah.

And I just ignored that all the time.

People would be like, stop it.

And I'm like, guys, you're my friends.

It's weird if I'm not sitting with you.

I just never.

You want to sit at the satellite table?

No, but then you like sit over there and you're looking at your friends.

I'm like, what are they laughing about?

That happens a lot.

But it's true.

I mean, it's the rules, but I just kind of like don't.

Where it sucks is where a lot of famous people come in and then the famous people take the table.

And then like, if you're working there that night, you have to sit at the satellite table and you're almost like, I don't want to sit around.

I think

I think celebrity is almost dead now.

I think I'm living in in

the walking dead right now.

What do you mean?

LA is like, it's like it's like it's ending and people are clinging and desperate.

And it's, it's so weird.

It's still, I like love LA too.

So it's, I'm just, I, what do you love about it?

I don't know.

I just, every time I go on the road, I'm so happy to come home.

It's so beautiful.

It's so nice there.

I just like it.

I can understand that.

That's how I feel about here.

I love driving, being driven a lot more than driving, but

I did notice because I was just out there last week.

I don't look at my phone because I'm driving.

It's fun.

Well, I don't like LA.

You get over that.

I don't like LA.

You always don't like LA, and that's fine.

I feel like I see a version of you that just moved to L.A.

and is in a different world.

You're like, no, this is where I see you.

This is where I see you.

You're like, imagine all the people.

You're like in that thing.

Imagine if you had just blown blown up

It's so it's so hard to be a celebrity comedian because it's like you're

if you're the comic I like you're a you're an honest comic and you bust balls and stuff, but then you get into this and you just see them well that's taken up.

I think celebrity like stand-up comics that were celebrities like mainstream actual celebrities.

I don't think that can exist anymore.

Yeah.

I think after COVID and all that shit, it can't exist because now you go like, we know you're phonies.

All celebrities are phonies.

Because that Imagine video was so fucking lame.

Anything you're upset about in this world or country right now, like I blame like the Gaza debacle on that video.

Like everything that's happened is that video's fault.

Like the breathing of like.

Well, did you watch Megan Markle show?

I was watching it last night.

It's so delusional and crazy.

These people are insane.

I'll see your Megan Markle and I'll raise you.

Alec Baldwin?

Yeah.

I watched it.

Katie showed it to me last night.

Can I tell you right now?

I'm like, can you shoot me in the head?

Because I'm uncomfortable.

It upset me.

Now, I would say this with my full chest out, 30 Rock is probably my favorite show of all time.

We want to like Alec Baldwin.

I did a movie with him.

He was fantastic.

I got to, like, actually, and this is before he had his seven kids.

You look at a man.

Seven kids makes me sick.

And the seven.

Seven kids aren't going to make up for one wonderful woman, one cinematographer.

You could keep popping those kids kids out, but a life was taken.

It doesn't transfer.

There's no rollover minutes.

He makes them stand on each other's shoulders and like wear her jacket.

Yeah, he goes, put her clothes on.

He goes, that's it.

Put her clothes on.

Now she's back.

Now hug her child.

And it is the best boy.

It's like the best boy.

He's got the best.

But it is sinister when he's like, I was really, you're like.

Were you upset?

I can't tell.

Well, I think he was.

Of course he was upset.

But that reality show is 100% just for his wife.

And he's just so tired and miserable.

and they keep doing this thing.

This is the thing we were talking about that made me upset.

They keep acting like the seven kids wasn't their fault.

Yes.

They keep going like

with these seven kids.

It's like, dude, you went.

Like a stork dropped them.

You went nuts to butt every one of those seven.

You went like

that.

This woman has just such complete control because he ain't Elon.

That ain't IVF.

That's dick and puss, old school, like grandma's sauce.

Alec made those kids with a little bit of

a.

So she's like yogaing on him.

Yeah, so she's just like pulling his cum out.

Or she's like, this one right here is called sitting lotus.

And he goes, the way you pull my cum out of my penis is incredible.

But they don't know the names of the kids either.

He's like, I call this one like red, blue.

You're like, he's just like, he's too old to keep that much information in his head.

We talked about, Katie and I talked about this last night.

The real reality show.

Number one, watching this reality show feels like a 30-rock show that would be in a, like if they did a 30-rock reunion and they'd be like, Lemon, do you understand that I'm in my own reality show with my seven children I had with a yoga instructor?

And you'd be like, yeah, that's the game.

I think about how I killed a woman.

Yeah.

I murdered a woman in New Mexico and then I had to do a reality show with my seven kids.

But you watch it longer and it became like

I got like car sick.

I like, by the end of it, I was like, I don't.

It's not a life I want.

I can't watch this.

But the show I want to watch

are his nannies drinking after their shift.

Just that's

just do that as a podcast.

Well, I always think about like Chris Hansen.

Like, I don't know if he's drinking anymore, but he always seemed to have like a drink in his hand when he wasn't popping,

popping petties.

Wait, you think.

But I'm just saying, because when you went through trauma, you like.

Chris Hansen drank a lot?

He was, there was always like a...

Do you think that's how he hit on women?

He's like, take a seat.

I think he just like.

Can I buy you a drink?

I think he was always like, could you play a 12-year-old?

I'm going to read you these sexts back that you written me.

You said, I would love to eat your ass.

Well, his wife, I follow him pretty closely.

His wife, yeah, I love him.

I didn't know you were a Hansophile.

Chris Hansen's wife, he was, when he started dating her, her handle was, I love being over 50.

Like, isn't that so funny that he was like, The woman that I'm with is stating that she's age appropriate in her handle.

She talks about her identity as her age.

That makes me think that he's doing what he was supposed to do on this earth.

That he has a sexual thing for older women.

So go bust the guys that like the young ones.

Because that's where his legacy would have gotten ruined is if you found out he was like

barely legal, barely legal.

Oh, it would be a nightmare if he was just, yeah, hiding in plain sight, because that does happen.

Yeah, well, that's most of the time.

That happens almost 100% of the time.

Why would you do that?

Why did you play that character?

Why did you make him here?

Like, what?

Have you ever seen a woman with saggy tits?

Drives me absolutely through the roof.

I think there is something about guys that are like really proud that they like age-appropriate girls.

There's something about that, too, because I will notice as I get older, there's certain guys where I'm like, you're getting creepier with me.

Really?

Yeah.

Like, as you guys know, like you're almost like, we're just like adults here, and I'm, we're gonna, and I'm like, what?

What are you trying to play?

House?

Yeah, we're weird.

I'm like,

what is to you as a woman, what is creepier?

Guys into barely legal, like young girls?

like oh that girl's 19 she's so hot or a guy being like 55 and over hot she well i'm going in a certain direction so i like the 55 and olders yeah but that now you're

going in a direction i'm not going down but i feel like even if you're a young woman and you see that you go like oh good for them though they like what they like with the young chicks no the older i think the older guys are never looked at as bad yeah i think they're always like my fiancé's 11 years younger than me i don't give a shit if people if someone's legal do it i have a friend who's like always like, don't do this guy's podcast or don't do this interview.

Like, I, or do, don't do this club.

The booker had a 19-year-old girlfriend.

And I'm like, I don't, if it's eight, like, if it's under 18, I'm very upset.

I'm very, very upset.

If you're grooming up to 18, I'm very upset.

I'm very upset.

The claim when

they try to go, we were friends.

It's like, you weren't friends with 15 years.

If you're friends with someone under 18, it's not acceptable.

I can honestly tell you, the only woman I've ever been friends with that I

dated is the woman I'm marrying because I love her more than anybody.

But it took me a lot of tries to get there.

So when they go, no, we were friends.

And then you go, no, you weren't.

You weren't friends.

What were you guys talking about?

Cute boys at the mall?

Yeah, you were talking to her about boys.

You were inserting yourself as the guy that knows about boys.

Do you think Millie Bobby Brown feels bad for like putting the Drake stuff out there when she was like, no, Drake's my friend?

And every adult went, ooh.

Yeah, she was an adult.

She was still kind of clear.

Oh, because she did it.

If you watch the interview, so cute and so innocent.

So bad for him, though.

How innocent she said it was so bad for him.

So bad for him.

I was like, she was just like, yeah, and he helps me with boys.

And you're like,

no.

Even on that red carpet, everyone went, oh.

Even when you watch the clip, if you bring it up now, Millie Bobby Brown's this girl.

And she's like, no, and it's so cool.

I get to text with Drake and he like tells me he's just like my friend and he helps me with boys.

Everyone was like, oh.

And then she's like, I'm going to get married to my high school boyfriend immediately.

Yeah.

She just married Bon Jovi's son immediately.

Yeah.

And he was like, yeah.

Perfect.

It's very...

She's going through a thing now because everyone's saying she's aging poorly.

She's like 22.

That's so fucked up.

So fucked up.

That's so fucked up.

They go.

Welcome to adulthood.

Yeah.

You're checking in with adulthood.

Well, they want you, like, they want you to look older until you're 18.

Yeah, and then they go,

stay at 18.

I remember when I was in college,

it was my sophomore year.

It was when Mary Kate and Ashley Olson turned.

Oh, people had the countdowns?

And I remember being like, what the?

I was 19 and I was like, what the fuck?

Like seeing like a 22-year-old dude be like, they're 18.

And you're like.

And also, I'm not trying to be rude.

They're not that hot.

It was just that you saw them when they were young and you saw them grow up that's the thing like if they had been like these smoking hot big titted bitches yeah not that you need big tits to be hot but you know what I mean but do you know what I mean like it's just the fact that they saw them be little kids and watch them grow up that they thought was hot you're like

man if we somehow the the confidence of men would skyrocket if we could just flip that.

If you just had older women being like, this young stud's about to hit 18, guys would be, it'd be like, you know, homecoming where they run through the paper paper, where they're like,

like, go, cougars.

We need that.

That's what we need for young men.

We just need to switch that so that's like older women being like, excuse me, 17-year-old boy that gets boners when the wind hits him.

Are you 18?

And he's like, next week.

But Sodor, what about how dark the teachers are the bang there?

The female teachers of the Penguin.

It's so nasty.

Listen.

I would never be against, like, obviously the kid, enjoy your moment.

Annie.

For the, it's so crazy to look at a little boy and be like, I, I,

no fault on the child no fault

on the sweet young send your little weenie picks send do whatever you want to do what i always think about are the adult men that dated those women or like when the story is they always have a husband yeah and then you're like now was he aware because if you're unaware of it and it happens

There's no way you don't just go like I'm gonna beat the shit out of this guy's I'm gonna go fuck up his dad.

Yeah, you're gonna have to fight his dad.

I gotta go find his dad.

I gotta go find his brothers.

Because you have a brother in college, yeah.

I'm gonna go blow up his car.

I got this guy ruined my family.

But you have to be so embarrassed.

I mean, that's the most embarrassing thing in the world.

It's gonna be in the papers.

It's good.

There's gonna be

the YouTube video of Cat Williams losing that fight to the seventh grader.

And there's a moment where he's like getting choked and he's like, it ain't even over.

I ain't even trying to.

And like the kids just behind him and you're like, well, I think we got to take your shit talking card for like at least a couple of years.

I think the only person that likes when teenagers fuck grown women more than the teenager is the enemy of the husband when it happens.

Oh, yeah, because it's just.

You're like, a kid fucked your wife?

Like a kid.

A kid.

That's the part of

this situation.

When you turn 40 and stuff, you can be like, I'm still like young, old.

I'm like the youngest old, you know, I'm still like, 42.

I wear hoodies.

Yeah, I'm cool.

I'm fine.

I have like my skate shoes on.

Yeah, of course.

I play video games.

Yeah, I'm fucking cool.

But then when your wife is fucking a 14-year-old, you have to be like, I am the oldest man alive.

Like, she must look at my balls and go, like, what is this?

Also, just like the fact that this hairless boy was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what do I do?

And you're like, this is that conversation where he has to take his glasses off and he goes,

he's like, do you play Fortnite?

oh that's crazy i don't like vegetables and then you have to be like

when you take your glasses off you go am i that bad eating pussy rachel

am i that bad she goes it's not that and the glasses are just readers they're not even like real glasses

did you saw

your wife's work friend she's like you're worried about him and yeah no we're just friends and then you find out they're fucking and you're like i knew it pete's 6'3 oh he's 6'3 okay so he's my height 5'8 ⁇ .

Yeah, so that's always the height.

A taller guy.

But what's great now, if like Katie ever left me for a guy that's like 6'6, I'm like, well, good luck with that.

He's gonna die like a big dog.

So like, good luck.

He left me for a St.

Bernard.

Enjoy your St.

Bernard.

He's gonna have a lot of fun.

Enjoy the corpse.

Yeah, he's gonna live till he's nine years old versus me.

A nice golden retriever.

I'll live till 12 or 13.

He's kind of tall, though.

You could go at 11.

You could go at 11.

Yeah, I could go at 11 or 12.

I'm like in the middle.

I could get hip dysplasia.

These short guys are going to be pulling all the puss when everyone dies.

They are.

They're just going to keep surviving.

They stay low to the ground.

Marcelo did my show last night and I was like, and I went up after him and he was, you know, talking about like being short or whatever.

And I was like, look at Marcelo.

Like, he's like the perfect example of being short doesn't matter.

If you're funny, rich, famous, have an accident.

Losing your woman to someone that's just like.

hitting her with a different language is another level of pain.

But you also kind of know, like,

there's a lot of,

like, if I go on vacation, when I was younger, if we would go on vacation, I'd always kind of like meet a guy.

Like, you know, that's not a real, that's a guy that's like trying to come to America.

Like, he's like, kind of 90-day fiance.

Yeah, it's always that.

So then if you see that and you kind of know she's getting 90-day fiancéed, are you excited for the eventual fall?

Or, yeah.

Yes.

It's the, it's, the excitement is in the

or are you embarrassed that you're with someone that was so stupid to fall for it?

I think a little bit of column A, a little bit of column B.

I think you're like, you're mad that you were with someone so stupid, so you anticipate the fall even more.

Yeah.

And you go, this idiot's going to fucking crash out.

It's like, I went on vacation to Greece and I met, and you're like, this is not evil.

You know, the entire Stella Gotter Grooveback story was fake.

He was a gay guy.

Oh, really?

Yeah, like the whole movie they did was like, she went down there and a young Jamaican man just gotten him.

I thought it was a true story.

He was based.

A woman wrote it.

Terry mcmillan wrote that i think did you can you look up if terry mcmillan i think got swindled

but yeah stella how stella got her groove back i used to love that used to be my genre of books like black women romance novels in philly urban romance novels oh you loved it i i loved i read a bunch of this a dollar short a day late and a dollar short you just loved all this i used to love like tyler perry things i was like i don't know if this is like a philly thing i just you just got in love and back basketball you're just like oh my god they're playing for love yeah yeah dude if youmar eps is in something i'm watching it now every movie is how stella got her groove back because they popped harvey weinstein and now all the women didn't age out so all the movies are surrounding these like older women's stories

which again i'm going in a direction so i'm not so you love it the genre's no i would actually like i i think i think candace owens is working hard to get harvey out and i think

it says it was inspired by terry mcmiller's real-life room oh okay

yeah with jonathan plumber who was plumbing into who was taking in some dudes, I'm pretty sure.

He was laying some pipe in South Africa.

Allegedly, I don't know.

I don't have Google in front of me, but it is always funny when those true stories that are like when they did the blind side.

Yeah.

And then it turned out that that family was just using that kid, but the way they made it look was like, no.

You can almost tell, though, that that's what was happening anyway.

Oh, you're going to be like, Alec Baldwin thing again.

The Hilaria being like, I saw a meme from the show.

It was like, Hilaria said that, like, Alex Baldwin wanted to kill himself.

And it's like, okay, then do it or don't.

Yeah.

You don't get points for saying someone wanted to, someone is dead, so death is not off the table here.

I'm not saying he please watch, number one, please watch an episode of The Baldwins, definitely on demand on TLC.

TLC, you are, I would say, one of the most significant members responsible for the brain rot that has occurred in our fucking culture.

You picked it up.

And the bed rot with the 600 pound.

But it is like watching this, my 600-pound life.

It's like the same thing where you're like, it is that freakish to me.

It is.

the kids everything but watch another episode hilaria hillary baldwin from massachusetts she's from massive and also by the way when you're caught just like evolve from that don't keep doing it don't what dude can you imagine if after i did that russian joke in 2012 i just like started being like kind of russian you'd be like you're swedish and irish and i'm like uh

but even if you did that and then and then three years in got called out and everyone was talking about it and then you just kept doing it Here's the thing if she lived in a Spanish-speaking country all the time and she came back and didn't I'm with you on that I really dogged a Madonna when she moved to with Guy Ritchie to

and I was annoyed by that but then I was in London for like a week and I was like oh you do end up getting an accent dude there was this because you don't want to be rude either and not speak their no fuck that they kind of like it it's like the way English guys are here yeah they they lean into their accent lean into being an American over there when I worked at Dos Caminos, dude, there was this girl that worked there that got hired as a hostess.

And we all know hostesses.

Yeah.

Hello,

hello, the idiots of the restaurant.

They're the reason they're hot and they're up front.

Yeah, they're not allowed to have, they shouldn't, they actually have too many responsibilities.

Too many.

Yeah.

And anyone that's ever worked in a restaurant knows you never take a host or hostess seriously.

I don't care if you call yourself a mate or D.

You're not.

You're a fucking dwarf.

You're working in the front.

No one's taking you seriously.

This girl started working there,

black girl, doing a British accent.

And everyone was like, oh, oh, you from, she was like, oh, lovely.

Like, I remember the first time we were like, oh, walk him to my table.

And she's like, oh, thank you, Dan.

That's lovely.

And you're like, what a lovely accent.

Kept it up.

Kept it up like a month.

And then this girl Rose from East London started working at the

as another hostess.

And she was like, I'm from East London.

Where are you from?

And the girl was like,

and then it's just American.

And she she goes, my boyfriend's from London.

And we were like, oh, yeah.

You have to quit.

You quit.

You walk out.

No, no show.

You don't.

I would have to go.

I'd have to text someone.

I worked with that dose, but I think it happened pretty quickly that that happened.

You got to go.

You can't.

When you.

I have no interest in a liar.

I just have no interest.

I have nothing to talk to you about.

If I know you're a proven liar, what the fuck am I doing?

Just getting called out on that.

And they go, but it doesn't feel like people now, when they get caught lying, pay anything.

They just go like, I lied.

And now here's my.

You see me on House of Villains.

Yes.

Exactly.

And then they're like, here's my redemption arc that I'm like, so sorry I lied.

It's like, how about the fact that you were fucking straight up lying?

Dude, this girl was in the pocket doing a British accent.

That's embarrassing.

And then completely humiliated.

If someone showed up and was like, oh, I'm, you'd be like, um, oh,

fuck.

I don't know why I'm doing this.

It just seems so much easier to just tell the truth and then you don't have to try to.

No, I wanted people to like me, so I was doing a British accent you'd just be like oh i was trying it out i'm an actress i was like method acting i was trying to by the way that would be awesome and by the way that'd be cool especially in new york it would be so cool to get a job and just like try out your character damn i think you're gonna be okay or she if she did it to different tables different accents all of a sudden she's like a hillback like i used to do when i was a waiter i sometimes when i was feeling bored i hated waiting tables you'd find i loved it you liked waiting tables liked it what did you like about it i just liked all the interaction i'm such an extrovert i get like i feed off of speaking to strangers oh yeah yeah.

And I love it.

I love it.

I've known you for, I mean, close to 20 years now.

You, there's nothing more annie Letterman than you chomping gum and gum.

What do you two fags want to drink?

There is like, I used to be like, you guys haven't, you're not, I was like, you still haven't decided.

I would slap like that.

I would throw their menus down.

Yeah.

And there's absolutely, they're like, and people think it's just Scarlett Johansson in a role.

They go, I swear it's Scarjo.

It's Scarjo getting ready for a role.

Have you ever been in a room with her?

I haven't, no.

Because I feel like...

But I definitely know Colin.

It's like...

But I feel like there'd be a moment where she would look at you and be like...

Yeah.

If I saw a guy that looked exactly like me in a room, I'd be like...

I don't know that I would know she looked at me like me if people didn't tell me that.

I don't know if that would register with me.

So do you think if you were in the room and someone goes, hey, Scarlett, that girl looks just like you, she would go like...

Yeah, I can see.

Or would she be like, maybe it depends on my behavior.

If I'm acting like, if I'm too full-anny, she might be like, I don't know her.

I don't know.

I have nothing to do with her.

Or would she go like, that's how I've always wanted to act.

Oh, what if I brought something out in her?

What if people started going, you look like Annie Letterman?

Oh, that actually, that's the goal.

And then what?

On my vision board.

And then she starts wearing a cheetah and that thing starts slamming Red Bulls.

Yeah.

Colin goes, can I tell you something, Annie?

This has brought new life in here.

She goes, first off, she's rude as fuck to everybody.

But they like like it.

They're like into it.

Yeah,

that's how you'd have to like really change her life.

Yeah, I because her changing your life That's lame.

Yeah, let's have no I want to be I want to have the impact.

Yeah, where she goes that's the power.

Yeah go

I'm you're I'm the main character.

You're you're my stand-in.

You should be my stand-in.

She'd go excuse me.

Oh my god, you should be I would probably say something stupid like that if I met her and just totally ruin it.

She'd go, goodbye.

Yeah, she'd be like, I don't need nonsense.

You know that I'm rich enough to not need any nonsense.

Which is that's what you want Alec Baldwin to be rich enough that he doesn't need nonsense.

I wish I could go back to that movie that we did, Drunk Parents.

You can see it.

You could stream it.

Did you write it?

Nope.

It sounds like you're alive.

Fox did.

Fred Wolfe did.

The guy that wrote Dirty Work, he directed it too.

Fred Wolfe rules, former SNL writer.

Cool.

I walked in the room to audition.

I was like, Did you go to the 50s?

Did you get invited?

Who do they invite?

They didn't invite any of our friends.

Nate, Shane.

Just like people that have done the show.

People have done the show.

i wasn't sure what level of no you had to be

and it was obnoxious do you all the people around for snl 50 that week i was so annoyed by that

i mean dude i'm happy for my friends like obviously celebrate your job and everything

it's like and on the on sunset boulevard they had this giant like cardboard cutout thing of it and i'm like nobody is like cares about this right now it felt it stopped traffic people were like what is this it felt like when someone throws a big birthday party but a they don't invite you and b they're like it's for your dog a dog or something it's like extra where you're like okay

like i know i don't want to be like hating on it because i am like it is obviously like a i think mine is absolutely partial jealousy of not well you have the skill set i would obviously do it if they asked me to do it but i don't i i wasn't born for it you were born for it i wasn't born for it i would have not survived

all yes i do care i do but here's the thing but i i'm the way mentally i'm built i'm not built for SNL.

No, but here's why you are built for it.

You would be the star.

So it wouldn't, the people that are the top, that are doing the best in all the sketches, don't have any, it's not hard for them.

It's only hard for the people that are like fighting for their like, their right to be there.

That's why that's what.

But you think you would have.

I would have felt like that.

Yeah.

Because you wouldn't be validated by getting the job.

No, my, my audition, why my audition sucked, why I completely know that both my screen tests sucked was because I wanted it.

You were too excited for it.

I was like, isn't that so?

You can can feel yourself like just like I was grossed out by it.

It's like the Donnie Darko thing and it's like it's like out to them and it's just like these hands wanting to pull and they're like get away from us.

And Lauren can see that.

By the way, my two friends that got SNL, Pete and Shane, didn't want it.

Yeah.

And you're like, well, that's the energy.

Santino and I screen tested the same year Pete and Shane.

And I would love to see you guys do it.

But I guarantee Santino and I were both coming off like,

please.

And they were.

And Lauren did start like just getting people that were stand-ups too, like stand-up headaches.

Well, they told me not to do stand-up.

They were like, dude, my agent at the time.

Can you do a little bit of it?

Do you have clips of it?

Oh, I've talked about this on podcasts.

Can we see it though?

I don't think the audition's anywhere.

Can you do like a little bit of it?

I did.

I did the second year.

The one thing that made Lauren Michaels laugh in the room, which they say is hard to do, was I did Winnie the Pooh Addicted to Honey.

Yeah.

And it got him like,

did you come in with no pants on?

I had him in Just a t-shirt.

Just a dick.

Just a red tea.

Just a red tea full.

And I'm nervous, so my penis is extra small.

Like, my balls are big.

But he likes it.

That's when he laughed.

He goes, oh, look at that.

Oh, look, it looks like

the penis is resting on his paws.

Okay, now let him go.

Who is this guy?

I go, hi, Lauren, please.

Everything's pleasing.

Why is the penis up looking at me?

Oh, my God.

And then I did, yeah, I was like, have you ever woken up in a parking lot and nothing but a red shirt?

I forgot the lines I did, but he like laughed.

When I did the voice, he laughed.

I feel uncomfortable with you doing the character in front of me.

Why?

I do voice.

We can dissect it.

I don't know why.

I'm feeling nervous.

I get it.

By the way, how are you?

I don't want you to bomb.

Like, and I don't.

I bombed already.

I bombed in this situation.

But I don't want, but I want to be, I want to, because I love you.

I want to, you know, but you want me to succeed.

I get that.

But then I got nervous it wasn't gonna.

I was like, I don't know.

No, it's good.

The poo is good.

The voices I did, I wasn't doing

characters and sketches is already inherently kind of gay.

Gay.

It's very gay.

That's the problem with acting is, and where you're kind of one of the only people I know that can be good at both things because they do fight with each other.

You're supposed to be too cool for acting.

Big Jay and I always talk about this.

It's the difference between joke writing and songwriting.

Songwriting, you have to be sincere and being like, I'm coming up.

But that idea, dude, Katie and I were laughing so hard because she was in the other room the other day and I was

sitting in here sincerely trying to sing, like trying to sing.

And she heard me not be able, I couldn't get through it without dying laughing of embarrassment.

Yeah.

Because I was like trying, I forgot what fucking thing.

And you don't get embarrassed when you act?

A little bit.

It took me years.

I did a really bad rom-com.

With Kristen Miliotti, who's awesome in the penguin.

Go watch her in the penguin.

Yeah, that shows me.

me.

She fucking rules.

And she had to help me be like, okay, but this isn't, but this isn't lame.

You're like acting.

And I was like, this is lame.

Well, because I was like bullied like theater majors.

That was what I wanted to do.

That was when it shifted from bullying the bullies.

It was like when someone would break out into show tunes in college, I would lose my mom.

We'd just be at a party.

I'd be like, this is going to be fun.

And it's all these horny theater majors.

And they just start singing.

I'm like, why are we singing?

I hated it.

I don't want you to sing.

I'd rather them just start doing monologues on that.

There would be moments on, you know, there was a lot of like, everyone that I worked with on Billions were like actors.

Yes, actors.

Good actors.

Great, great.

I know, but then you get older and you're like, of course, they were like.

But they were like,

they would know a song from a play that I had fucking no idea.

And they'd start singing.

And I'd be like, I got to go get a coffee.

I can't watch you.

It felt like

they were just starting to Les out in front of me.

And you'd be like, I don't know.

you guys can do this I gotta yeah this is am I do I need to be here for that I don't know if I can fucking watch do you need my validation yeah like what do you need or they would like look at you and be like yeah have you seen and you'd be like I didn't see that well you know what happened I was too dumb to keep doing improv because I actually really liked improv I did all the UCB classes and stuff but then I started getting to a level of like they have more actor than comic Way more actor than comic.

And they just knew more things than me.

So I would just be in a scene.

I'm like, am I just going to play the idiot that doesn't know anything every time?

Yeah.

I'm like, they'd be like Native Americans.

I'm like, but beyond smallpox, I really don't have anything.

Like, I was like, my education level had a ceiling and like UCB started to get rid of it.

They're like, do you need me to know tribes like regionally?

Yeah, I was like, I'm not very educated.

But that was also why I think when stand-up comics find stand-up, you go, here we go.

These are all the, this is smoke break at the restaurant energy.

Oh, you mean when actors find it?

You mean?

Oh, no, when actual findings.

When we, when actual comics find comedy, you go,

this is it and by the way probably that's how actors feel when they find acting that they go like here's an outlet i think you just need an outlet and that's what's crazy that's what sucks i think right now about stand-up is you're finding a bunch of people that don't care about that being an outlet they're just using it for money they're just going like i can do this and sell tickets

it's so weird what's happening i i choose to surrender to it i don't want to be someone that's like back in my day it was better like i want to just like i believe that however anything evolves is how it's supposed to evolve but i will say that it is weird.

Watching people without any comedic sensibilities do stand-up comedy.

Or they're just like posting me.

Like they're literally like just saying a meme

a clip and it's going viral.

And you're like, the reason it's going viral is because it's already a meme.

You know what it is?

Is I think there was a time in stand-up and I think there's still, I think there's a lot of comics that still.

go by this rule where if you've heard someone do a joke, you go like, oh, so-and-so has that joke.

So I can't do that joke.

I'm telling you, I've done word-for-word my jokes.

And I, and I used to like DM and be like, hey, I've done that on TV.

That's like my joke.

I'm known for that joke.

Did you see Joe lists with Travis Kelsey?

I saw a tiny bit of it.

Katie had her Joe on her.

Oh, Katie, it was Katie's fault.

No, it wasn't Katie's fault at all.

Oh, no, she didn't have Travis Kelsey.

She had Joe on.

She had Joe on, and she talked about it.

And Joe was like, I love Joe's brain because he's like, that means they were like watching a clip of me probably after him and Taylor had sex.

It's like, that's where Joe's brain goes.

But it is like, it used to be a thing where you were like mortified.

It would be, but they don't, I've, I've DM'd someone who did one of my jokes and I just said, hey, man, people are like sending this to me.

I didn't stumble upon this.

Like people are tagging me in your comments.

And they just don't even care.

I watched a comic who actually kind of like recently.

I like him.

I like watching him.

And I watched his set for like 25 minutes and I was like, oh, that's a so-and-so joke.

That's a so-and-so joke.

But then I started thinking, maybe this is when we become dinosaurs, where we don't let go of that.

And then you're like, okay, well, then I'm going to start doing some shit that maybe you see me being like, you ever smoked crack?

Doing Richard Pryor?

I'm like, you take the shit.

I'm sprinkling crack over people.

You go, oh, my God.

We just started doing all the famous black people's jokes.

You go, soda's killing with legit killing them softly.

I'm like, and then we put it on Sesame Street.

Thank God.

Yeah, it's.

There's no rule.

Well, it was, I think.

Flawless.

I think also we used to be so, everyone used to be so connected.

I think everything's so fractured now.

Everything's fractured.

Because, like, it's so fun to come back.

I did, you know, all of Lewis's shows, basically.

Yeah.

I was fun with all the Legions of Sanguine.

Yeah, he's the man.

But beyond them having 100 podcasts together every day,

there's not many people hanging.

The green room's not going to hang.

So when I come and I do shows, I'm trying to like curate a hang.

I could argue.

LA is not dead.

Boston has, you know, they have a scene right now that is still so new, the hang is still very important.

Whereas LA and New York, the hangs are kind of dead because it's like old hat.

You're like, you know, I'm like, I'm like kids and shit.

But I go to this, like, I love living here with Katie and my dog.

I know when you find a partner, you love them.

I'm like, I would so much rather be with Todd.

Or I make Todd come with me to the comedy store.

Katie comes with me to shows, but I'll go to the cellar and do spots and then be like,

I'll hang while I'm waiting to do my spots, but then after my spots, I'm not like, let me stay till 2 a.m.

and then Che's going to show up and then fucking Nate's in town and we're going to hang out.

It's like, it was so funny because when Nate was here for SNL 50, he's like, I'm going to go to the cellar and hang with Spade and Chris Rock.

And I was like.

Yeah.

I have zero interest in that.

Yeah.

I have zero interest in sitting at a satellite table where Spade and Rock aren't going to make eye contact with me because I'm not famous enough.

And then I got to watch my friend.

And then my friend's going to check in with me like I'm a child playing with my toys.

I asked Chris Rock something once.

It was funny because I'm friends with David, David, so with Spade, so I'm, we always talk when we see each other, but there was something with like Chris Rock.

I DM'd him.

Oh, he brought me up one night or something.

And I think I DM'd him and was like,

that was amazing.

Thank you.

I just said something, whatever.

And I'm sure I had a joke in there or whatever.

And then I saw him like the next day or something.

I was like, oh, I sent you a DM because it was like cool that you brought me up.

I was like, and he was like,

he said something along the lines of like,

yeah, I wouldn't read that.

Like, it was something so cutting where i was like dude i'm telling you there's just and it's fine like whatever i don't yeah but also there's big time me it's fine it's it's fun to watch these like old school celebrities that had the industry and they always were like i'm in and you're not out and then the industry collapsed and you're like welcome back outside welcome to us enjoy doing a youtube special

it's so man there's something so gratifying because they're

the industry was the cool kid club where they'd go like you'd watch someone well you had to be plucked you had to be plucked and like accepted I mean I watched him I watched him take Kumail I watched him take like Pete Holmes you watched him like take people like Pete Davidson yeah got pulled into it and they go like here you go and now you're in the industry and they'd like know each other and they'd like when they meet up they'd be like yeah we're in the industry and then the industry collapsed on itself

and then now you watch them go like we're still inside and it's great it's like your house is collapsed yes stop acting like i will say i kind of like

Allie's isn't Allie's always really nice to me, Allie Wong, but I'm always like, thanks for being because you're busy, bitch.

I don't have the same stories.

I love it.

I just saw Allie in LA, known Allie forever.

Yeah.

Great seeing her.

One thing that did annoy me is she goes, your boyfriend, my boyfriend loves your Cat Williams impression.

And I went, it's Bill Hayter.

Yeah.

Don't do this.

Yeah.

Like, give me a little bit of a

little flowers of it.

You know, I'm dating Bill Hayter.

He doesn't even love it.

But yeah, but, but with, with Allie, I'm not.

Because I love Bill Hayter.

But I'll go like to Ali.

Like, when I'm talking to her, I'm like,

you're dating Bill Hayter.

You don't need to talk to me.

You know what I mean?

I don't, I'm like, I can talk to you about when I flew on my other friend's private jets.

You know what I mean?

Like, like the things we have in common, it's a little bit like this.

Yeah, but that's why you go for the past.

But I could also see why every single fucking person on planet is fed up with celebrities.

Yeah, because if you're even kind of near him, you're like, what the fuck do you do?

We need to start making like people that do necessary shit celebrities like uh contractors and like plumbers i was thinking that this about the trans community i was thinking we got to get them out of being baristas like you have to have more important jobs yeah they need you're never going to be taken seriously if all you yes you need to be plumbers you need to be like doing like

do you think that are helpful like someone like something that you can't do like if i was building a house

yeah someone was like framing my door and i go um

well he's right over there and they turn around they go You misgendered me.

It's they, them.

And you're all, I want my door friends.

Of course, I can't flush the toilet.

I got it.

You gotta, I need you to, I need my door framed, right?

It's like, I need my door framed, right?

They, them.

Like, is Taco Bell and Starbucks the only places that are hiring trans people?

It could be true.

It could be.

Where they also have.

Is it like the military where they're paying for their transition?

It's like the pipeline.

They have recruiters.

They're like, Welcome to the fifth meeting.

Yes.

What's your name?

And then if they find the name, they write bucket instead.

Did you go to a high school where the military called all the guys that were stupid?

Because I would get so many calls from the army.

I went to a high school of straight up freaks and juvenile delinquents.

Oh, yeah, you went to an alternative high school.

Yes.

Was it actually, what was it called?

It was called an old school.

But it wasn't called like an alternative high school.

It was called an alternative school.

It was in like a house.

Yeah.

A lot of times there were like pillows, but we're not going to get into the details.

I think you can see where it's going.

If there's pillows and it's a house and everyone's bad kids i

always i had one of my my friend's brother went to an alternative high school and then two kids i knew got sent to the alternative were they diddly there to them you know what's funny is for boys it was fights yeah it wasn't fucking it was fighting everyone was like the t and then you'd find out like the teachers put hands on them like the teachers

i but my girlfriends were like that too i always was friends with these like girls that would become bipolar you know or become like a year after i met them they'd be like she's taking lithium yeah she'd be so weird i'm like my friend's weird but i always was friends with the girls that would like they'd be like yeah and then i like threw the chair at my teacher and then i pulled like a chunk of her hair out and i was always like quaker nice that's so funny like i was always like with here's the thing about annie letterman and i've known you for a while and i will say this right now annie's core is inherently good she just likes to talk shit and she likes chaos

but annie is a sweetie pie i don't think i i think i like

Well, you don't like what?

I think I don't like chaos.

I think I'm delusional and think I'm fixing the chaos by being the way that I'm being.

But you love

shit stirring.

Not shit stirring.

I love shit talking behind.

Like, if you and I get together, we have a mutual friend.

We saw them post something.

We are skilled at this.

We've dropped it.

We are skilled.

No, we need to.

I'm saying bi-weekly calls.

Bi-weekly is every two weeks, right?

Not two weeks.

I would also be willing to open it to a because you need to see how phenomenal that one is.

no i've been i've been we'll get on a thread yes we'll start letting it go and this is always why i was so surprised that you and and wolf didn't

bond i think we just never well wolf here's what i'll say about because wolf is a phenomenal person to talk reach out to

i think she had a little bit of a trajectory that was that was leapfrogging over me over most and over everyone and and that's fine i'm sure

that might have been some insecurity you know coming up but But she once, I remember once she was like drunk at

Cabin and she.

Michelle Wolfe drunk is one of the most wine.

She was drinking red wine.

Yeah.

And she was like,

she came from the banking industry.

She was a banker.

So she shows up at comedy.

She applied this shit into comedy.

She was just like

blue ripe eyes.

Right.

But she, she was drinking her wine and she goes.

She was like, Annie, I always like admired you or something.

And I was like, in my head, I was like, I will keep this forever.

And I needed it for a while.

When she was like big timing me, me, I was like, I will always have this.

And you had your little fucking glasses.

But I also don't, I was never like offended by, I'm kind of like impressed by people that do that.

And she was always cool with all of you guys.

It wasn't like she wasn't legitimately one of my favorite human beings on the planet.

And it's funny because when you see that, you go like, ah, it is, you're right.

There's something about finding someone that you're friends with that you can go like, can we talk about this?

I do like when you're talking shit on someone and you go to your mutual friend and you go, I love this person.

Like when you have to do that and you're you're like listen but this has to be said you know what happened is shit talking it got too public it got too public and i think the audience now that we're online the audience is shitting on us too so that i'm fine with because by the way i i i truly think it's a fucking crazy privilege and luck

that I get to be funny for a

no also shout out skanks so they posted that I was going to be on the show.

Yeah.

And I looked at like the post and it was all like, fucking, she's ugly.

She's like, women aren't funny.

It's not going to be funny.

Everyone that's writing that, super hot, dude.

Yeah, no, no, but it doesn't matter.

0% body.

But I got kind of excited about it because I did very, I had a very fun.

I was being very fun.

I was having a great, I had an excellent time with them.

So I was like, let that be your thought while you're going in.

Let that be your thought.

Yeah.

And whether you think I'm pretty or ugly, I don't care.

Yeah.

But like, it was just like, okay.

You're like showing them up.

Yeah.

Check it out.

Well, because the old way of celebrity was like being like

and act like a politician.

Yeah.

Politics are all fucked up now.

Celebrities are all fucked up now.

It's just kind of like we're fucking done with all of them.

Yeah.

But I think the thing is too, I think in New York, like we all were together so early in our careers too that it's like, you know that we like each other.

It's not like.

There's that base.

Yeah, we were all the same.

We like each other.

Yeah.

We all

make fun of you.

We fucking sat around and drank and talked and i think we made each other kind of like better because you would like kind of with someone about something real yeah and then you're like okay maybe i do need to i mean do there's still moments i have it that's why i love doing the regs with bobby joe and lewis is there's moments where i go i am being a bitch yeah but they're my friends and you're like yeah you're right i am a little thorny cunt i know and being if you're being you're if your feelings are hurt by it it's like that's the lose but it's good yeah that's when you go like what am i upset about yeah what am i getting upset with somebody Because the people that don't, that's what sucks now that we're older in this business.

We've watched people we know and people, some people we don't know, get so famous that you watch them get insulated that no one tells them the truth anymore.

Oh, it's

crazy.

And you're too far away, which I think that's success in any job.

Yeah.

Like when someone becomes the CEO or the vice president and they're like moving up, people stop being like, yeah, I was in like accounting with that guy.

That guy is an idiot.

He's my buddy.

We used to drink beers over at friday you should have seen him back in the day when he drank and then he like comes by and he's like hey so and you go

and you're like tone changes it's weird yeah there's certain people that have gotten to a level of success where i'm like i literally don't know what to talk to them about yeah like that's what's fun about shane is he's remained so much he's such he's still shane that like built out of tra like he's a yeah you gotta have a trash even nate i'll go like what are you talking about and he'll be like oh no man that's what you do and i go shut up Nate's the best.

I'm always like, Nate, you're the only one I can still fucking talk to you.

Shut up.

But that's like when he was like, oh, we're going to go hang out with Spade and Rock.

I was like, I am good.

Yeah, I'm out.

I'm not a hot young girl that Spade wants to fuck.

And I'm not famous enough for Rock to make eye contact with.

Yeah.

So no thanks.

That's why he was like, I think he could have had fun.

He came back from that, you know, he did that huge show with like Gaffigan, Seinfeld, and all them.

And he's like, Seinfeld's the best.

And I go, Seinfeld sucks.

Yeah.

Any young comic will tell you.

The only thing he's doing that's so funny is being like, I don't care about Palestine.

It is so funny.

I mean, out loud.

Oh, it's so

out loud.

I'm.

With his chest.

He's going like.

I want to see a TLC documentary of him just saying things like that to people, like just a half hour once a week.

Of him going, what?

I don't care about Palestine.

He goes, in six months, there's not even going to be Palestinians.

And you go, fucking Jerry.

He's being so.

It's wild.

Even Kramer's going like, Jerry, fucking.

You're really about to loot your career.

He's like, Jerry, you're going real nuts.

He's like, I'm just saying, stop the aid.

You need to stop the aid to the Palestinian children.

They don't need food if they're dead.

Yeah, he's like, let's just kill them already.

But with the sign phone thing, that's what he notices now.

You notice if you stop aid, they die.

Yeah.

There's something about pro-Israel side voice.

It's so funny to me.

Kids wanting to live.

He goes,

No, America's giving us 2,000-pound bombs.

Why not 4,000-pound bombs?

It's fucking wild.

Just so, but he's been so rich for so long.

That's what I mean.

Yeah.

It's like, um, it's like a duke or like, it's like someone of royalty.

Well, we, and we see people

like where they start and then where they get.

And really seeing the reality of how much money people have and how much like.

Power you just get from being able to snap your you could be like dude.

I've said this to Shane.

You could go, you could go, Shane right now could go, I want to snowboard out of a helicopter

in the Alps tomorrow.

A guy will be looking at his phone going, this, that's a great idea.

I'll get on it.

I got a snowboard.

I got a snowboard.

I want my favorite pie waiting for me at the end.

But I've said this to Shane.

He's the only person that can talk to Joe Rogan on the same level.

Like he's the only one that can talk to Rogan and be like I wonder if they'll ever get to a point where they get to a place I don't know, but that's how relationships work.

But Shane was like, I was telling him on Protect Our Parks that leg kicks are gay and i was like yeah i was like this is what i mean because

the bully energy to to bring it all back to what we were talking about at the beginning that bully energy when people get that powerful it's the reason like wall street guys go get their nuts stepped on by dominatrix because all they have to see the first scene of billions

streaming now on paramount plus but they they need that These guys that are like, bar, sell, you fucking piece of shit.

I just made $2 million at lunch.

And then they go and there's this woman goes, no, don't touch your penis.

And they go, please mistress please may i touch myself and she's like you're a slug and he's like oh god and it is those guys like bullying yeah so when a guy comes along like that's why it's funny to watch People with Philly energy be around famous people because they're like, what are you gay?

It's so hard.

Like even Jay, who's the sweetest,

when he's around celebrities, he's like, this sucks.

I don't want to be around this.

Because you can't be your full express self around them.

But LA people go right into it.

LA people go like, oh my God, you are amazing in this.

Well, sometimes I'm like that.

I'll be honest.

But it depends on if I feel that.

12 years in LA.

How much has that taken your soul?

But can I, no, I have not even noticed a problem until the past three months, really.

I've just been like, wow, I feel like I can't be self-expressed.

I feel like my superpower doesn't work in this town.

It could.

You like go and it's like the little zap.

Because here's the thing.

You can't like,

like, I could have visited her at Hollywood.

It'd be awesome.

I probably

do that

because I still have this part that like is a fan of people and wants to kill that.

I have to kill that.

But

you know who I really geeked out in front of?

And she did finally follow me back.

Minka Kelly.

Like I, the people that I'm obsessed with are like probably girls you all jerked off to.

And what from when you were younger and then you want to be their friends?

I want to like be them.

No, I don't even ever need to see them again, but I will literally rob a florist to give people their flowers.

Like I'm like.

Well, did you see that picture?

Because I'm a hater.

So when I like something, I really want to give it.

I want to even out the.

Oh.

But so I'm like, I'm weak in my news.

Did you see Alex Edelman in the picture of

Jessica Alba and Alex Edelman?

People were sending that.

What did he get?

Dude, that photo went around every comic.

The second it hits.

He's using the tunnels, the Jew tunnels, to get to these women.

Like, what is he doing?

He's popping up in their bedroom.

He's always like foaming at the mouth.

I'm like,

hey.

So

just crawled in here.

Thought I could,

dude, it was wild.

That was like a thing.

And is he, is that a confirmed thing?

Or would they just no, it's just a picture on the internet that comedians were like, no fucking way.

It was getting circulated.

Every, it pinged everyone.

It's crazy that when you get successful, you just, all your friends are just screen grabbing all your friends.

They're going like this fucking

fucking weather.

That's why you got to stay right below.

Or you have to just stop giving a fuck, which is so hard.

That's what I'm saying.

That's the evolution of animals.

Because if you think about it, like, I always worry about, my whole life, I've worried about being too narcissistic, which obviously we're in a business that leans towards towards narcissism or whatever.

But I always want to be self-aware.

I want to make sure I'm not like,

you know, I do, I do appreciate when people tell me that I said something because I'm like, I didn't.

Like, I want to learn that because I didn't check, register that at all.

But I try to, I want the room to feel good.

I want people to feel good.

And

so, wait, what was I going to say?

Fuck.

We were talking about that.

I took one of those weed candies from back in the day where I came from the stand that gives them out.

Remember those weeds?

Oh, Sam.

Sam, Sam, you fuck.

I was saying with calling people out, that's, that's got to to be your last evolution.

You got to learn how to kill off, because I'm trying to kill off the people, please.

It's really hard.

Oh, so this is what I was listening to, or I was listening to a thing about this, and then I was thinking about it.

The people that I admire are more narcissistic than me.

The people that are succeeding to the level I want to succeed.

Take what they want.

The people that are creating the things that I think are the best,

and maybe not narcissistic in the way that people are like looking at, is my ex-boyfriend narcissistic or whatever, but like

you want your doctor to be narcissistic.

I want my doctor to be like my

doctor to be narcissistic.

I want their ego to be in their tally of how well they do.

Oh, you want them to be.

Their reputation.

If they do well, you want

if they do poorly, you want them.

Most of my best friends in this business that are doing the best, like, they're talking and I'm adding to what they're talking about.

And if I say something and they're not into it, like, you're like, oh, you want to talk about what you want to talk about.

And that's, why am I not doing that?

Why am I not going into a green room being like, bitch, we're talking about what I want to, I'm like, oh, no, I don't want to come off.

And then I'm like, but everyone I like does that.

I think it's big because what you're admitting right now is something that I can identify with, which is jealousy of an ability that you don't have.

I am jealous because I'm jealous of people that don't care about what people think.

Yeah.

Who are genuinely like, ah, something's going to live.

It's not even jealous because jealous I had to kill.

Like jealous did die in my 30s for me.

But like, I do feel like it's, what it is, is it's like, it's almost like turning into admiration and going, wow, that person like has a skill set that I don't have.

Like there's people that have done me so dirty where I'm like, what a dumb bitch.

Yeah.

And then I'm like, but I have to give them props because the way they played me like a fiddle

is unbelievable.

I'm watching people.

That's, I think you nailed it.

It's admiration because there's, there really is, it, there's like, there's people in this business that I'm watching that I go,

damn.

You, you like did that.

Yeah.

You did that and you didn't care.

And bitch, I already have the reputation.

I'm like, I'm like just not even acting out on the reputation I have.

I'm like, I got to fucking use this reputation.

Damn, dude, this is inside the mind of a hater, Danny Letterman.

This is absolutely.

But I'm a hater family.

My family raised me a hater.

I used to get in trouble for, I would go to elementary school and I would just say the things my parents said about my teachers and be in so much trouble.

Yes.

So it's so funny because mine was, I was always trying to break tension.

Yes.

I was always trying to break tension.

I wasn't trying to hate.

I was just trying to be like, we're all having fun.

Right.

Calling out a thing that nobody's saying breaks the tension.

Breaks the tension.

It's just hatering.

Yeah.

And also, but like when you come from a place where you go like guys things are good see things aren't really really bad and then you go breaking the tension

um

yeah but no i definitely feel like to annie wood yes listen to annie wood watch everything annie letterman does watch the hero watch the evolution of my narcissism yeah dude but you are a person that i've always like since cabin bar since creek i always loved bumping into you because i was like i knew annie was going to talk some shit yeah i got some stuff to say i knew when i saw saw you, you were going to have an opinion.

Well, Nate, when Nate moved to LA, we both moved to LA at the same time, and there was no other New York comic.

Yeah, I remember that.

And we would have, we had a good time.

I remember that.

You guys were thick as thieves.

Then he moved and didn't tell me he moved.

For six months, I'm on the phone with him.

Like, oh, when you come in, where are you at tonight?

Yeah, and then he's like, oh, he's like, I'm on the road or whatever.

Just the funniest thing in the world.

Six months, this man left.

Nate was the first person to live in a city satellite to New York and LA, but you couldn't do it back then.

He lived in Nashville.

He was a closeted.

but he had an apartment in LA that he would like, like he was hiding from the feds.

Yes.

He would like go to the apartment in LA, which it's so funny because the guy,

Travis, that you would get the keys, he would let you, like me, Becchion, anybody stay at his apartment.

He couldn't let me because he didn't tell me he didn't live there.

Yeah.

Couldn't give you a lie.

But you would go like, oh, I got to go to LA for a week.

You'd be like, stay at my apartment.

Would you save money on hotels?

Oh, it's amazing.

Incredible.

But the guy, it's so funny because the guy you get the keys from at the In N Out by LAX is now his tour manager.

Oh, really?

And so every time I see Travis, I'm like, damn, I feel like I'm stopping by to pick up keys for the In and Out.

Oh, that's awesome.

I know that guy.

I met that guy, yeah.

But it is fun, even though we're all fractured, it is fun when we meet up.

Like, he was doing the win, yeah, and I was in Vegas for the fires.

I was like, I'm so traumatized, I have to gamble, yeah.

And um, and so we got to like hang out with him.

Dude, it's awesome watching like Tim Dylan become Tim Dylan, and he's the same.

Yes.

He just happens to be like,

it's so funny when I watch people kind of like, this is something he's coming on the podcast.

It's something I want to talk about.

He's like,

I watch everyone else grift, and for Tim, it's not grifting.

Time has different goals.

He goes, I don't, I've always wanted to talk to Steve Bannon and the vice president.

Tim is

the man.

And he can really.

He's the funniest, too.

He's set his fan base up.

He could do no wrong.

I'm a big.

I love loved him.

I loved him.

Staying at his place right now.

Annie Wood is the podcast.

Yes.

Annie Letterman is the best.

Annie Letterman.com/slash shows.

Come see me.

When does this come?

Come live.

I don't know.

We might put it out Tuesday.