50: Dog Mayor with David Angelo | Soder Podcast | EP 49

With everybody making more stuff,

why isn't there anything good anymore?

That's a good question.

I mean, how many streaming services are my, when I go home and I want to watch something, I don't, it's like I spend an hour just scrolling through menus.

Like, this is all, can we just, and they have it categorized.

It's like, can you just do it by, here's the good stuff?

Like, why do I have to sort through like all of these like atrocious and it's all bad?

And you start every time I start a show, it's like I give it 15 minutes.

It's like, this is, I also noticed, like, it's kind of a country thing.

Yeah.

Like, there's no, you're like, all these Italian shows, like, I'm Italian or genetically or whatever.

Sure.

They don't know how to make a TV show over there.

Well, I think that's, that's something I would argue is an American opinion that we've felt our whole lives.

Yeah.

Because we were in a hotel,

I was doing the San Jose Improv and we were in a hotel watching, like Katie and I were just like flipping through the hotel TV because she was with me.

And it went to an old BBC show from like the 80s.

And you were like, this looks like it was shot on a soundstage.

The lighting is horrible.

The audio is horrible.

And you're like, that used to be everything but American TV.

Like American TV in the 80s and 90s, we had it right.

We learned how to make it look warm, how to make it look bright.

Most countries have done that, but still with other stuff now, you're like, what was this made in Italy?

Those BBC shows,

it's like how you, when you have a fever, the way you perceive things.

You're just like, why is it everything is moving too smooth?

Something is wrong.

Yeah, you're right.

It's like dream camera.

You're like, I feel like I'm watching a dream.

But I feel like now with everything, with all the, with all the, the movies that are being able to make, like, I enjoyed Deadpool and Wolverine, but that was the first movie I felt like,

they nailed the thing that they did it the way I wanted it.

It was just like, it was fan service.

It was 100% fan service.

But why isn't everything good now that we have all this great shit to make it?

Well, yeah, well, that's why Top Gun was like made so much way is because you're like, oh,

yeah, I forgot what it's like to go to the movies and enjoy what I'm watching.

Yeah.

I mean, I'm genuinely excited.

We're getting tickets to go see Alien Romulus this Friday.

And I'm like excited because they're like, oh, no, we've made it scary.

They like did it right again.

But this is like the 10th Alien movies where I'm like, try it again.

Try it again.

We're just giving so many chances to retry shit.

I know.

There's a lot of like

execution is like Stargate as a movie, as a premise.

That should have been the coolest.

That could have like topped Star Wars.

You're talking about the one with MacGyver, with Richard.

That's the show, right?

Stargate the movie.

The movie.

I didn't see the show and I can't speak to it, but like the movie, the premise was so cool.

It was like, it's a gate to where the aliens come in, and that explains the pyramids.

And I remember they look like the Egyptian gods and stuff.

And then you watch, and you're like, this is like atrocious.

All they had, I don't know what it is.

Sometimes it's that movie, the show on Peacock right now with Anthony Hopkins.

He's in every trailer.

Oh, it's called Time to Die.

Time to Die.

Google it.

Here's my thought about that.

What were you going to say, though, about the Hopkins one?

Well, it's like they still spent a ton of money.

They spent a lot of money.

They got Anthony fucking Hopkins.

It's like, why not?

If you're going to spend that much money, then make that should be good.

And it's atrocious.

You know what it's like?

It's unwatchable.

But getting Anthony Hopkins for a show like that is like getting a $200 bottle of wine or like

this incredible bottle of wine that's like stayed perfectly in this cellar and being like, yeah, we're having microwavable chicken nuggets with it.

And you're like, But this isn't, this should go with like a good fish or something.

And they're like, nah, just waste it.

Well, they trick you.

It was a catfish.

Yeah.

It was really a catfish.

I was like, Anthony Hopkins wouldn't, I mean, he's only got so many days left on earth, you know.

You figure he's going to use his time wisely.

And then he's there.

I mean, it was clearly he had like a heart out at 11 a.m.

Like, he didn't put much like effort into it.

I'm going to do it if I'm done by lunch.

Yeah.

And he's only on screen for maybe like 90 seconds, but he's in every preview.

And this show is so bad.

And it gets you hyped because it shows him in like a classic robe with like you know

the crown and he's like then let them die and you're like this could be good and then you see two minutes of it and you go this is a shit show yeah it's almost filmed like a cinemax movie where you're like

there better be bad tits like bad fake tits that's the style actually that's like the perfect description of the style it just is like a cinemax softcore porn all those guys got out of work now that there's only fans and stuff and so they just went over to like peacock they're like i could do some legitimate acting but i also think it's crazy to do that show time to die which takes place in the roman empire with anthony hopkins when they went and made gladiator 2 which looks great

they got denzel they got like pedro pascal they got like they went ridley scott i think made it they like made gladiator 2.

So it's funny when you put out a shitty TV show that's around the same time period as something else and they do it right.

But they always do that.

Isn't that, don't you think that's a strategy?

Probably.

And that works where they're like, okay, Gladiator's got people hype.

We're not out until this, so we're going to do some shit.

100%.

And there's some guy that went to like UPenn that's like in a boardroom.

That's like,

you know, Anthony Hopkins' agent was asking about some stuff.

Maybe we can make him Caesar and throw him in a show.

And they're like, great job, Toby.

He's like, thanks.

I'm wanted for rape in Pennsylvania

because I took advantage of a drunk girl at a frat party.

But it's like those kind of the people that works.

It's the business.

It's the business, baby.

But it is all commerce.

It's just like

everything's numbers now.

Nothing's like, oh, this guy made this thing and then it got big.

It's cool still when you see things blow up organically.

Like

I'd probably say that with the musician Chappell Ronan.

Chapel Ronan.

I don't know if you know who she is.

I'm way out of the loop on everything.

I'm out of the loop, but the fiancé loves her and has been listening to her.

She's really good.

She's got great songs, but she's like on fire right now, the old school way, where she like did an album in 2023.

No one gave a shit.

She was just touring with it and then it like caught on.

And now she's selling so much tickets she sold the most tickets uh ever for an artist at la la palooza and she wasn't even a headliner like that's how it's starting to go where people are like holy shit this is like really caught on i like that that still exists because it doesn't feel like the taylor swift marketing thing of machine of like, oh, someone's big.

I released a new version of the same song so I can fucking go over.

Right, right.

We were talking about this earlier.

It's just like the corporate grip on everything right now, even though we act like everything's independent isn't it's all like

everything's got corporate fingerprints on this yeah you know a good example is the break dancing at the olympics yes that felt like your mom showing up in b-boy pants and being like you know what's super hip bros you know what it felt like it's the authenticity of dare speakers back in the day Where they'd be like, hey, kids, I'm going to talk to you about drugs.

And you're like, you're not the guy I want to talk to about drugs.

Yeah, that's back when

you would discourage children from doing drugs.

Their program now, it's just the officer, like, hey, don't take it all at once.

Yeah.

You know, or he's like, pace yourself.

He's like, I got a new, cool, new jingle for a hepidimonym or some pharmaceutical.

Oh, yeah.

Like, Lady Gaga does a pharmaceutical ad where.

Yeah.

It's like

Lady Gaga.

We were just watching.

Is it an antidepressant or something?

It's something.

It's something that you probably need, but probably don't.

if you look at some i know simone biles has it on hers and she does one of those i think it's a drug ad in the fine print on the drug it says this person does not use this really on whatever the one simone biles she does it with her mom and something and it's like it says she doesn't use it they don't use it and it's like of course they don't use it that's so but it's what's crazy is um I'm obsessed with this specifically right now is, and I mean, I'm talking shit, but we're going to break this podcast for an ad read.

Oh, yeah.

So I'm talking all the shit in the world.

I'm guilty of it.

Everyone's guilty of it.

But

when a celebrity would be in a commercial in the 90s, like the, I'm obsessed right now with the idea of what a sellout was.

When we were growing up, and this is old white guy shit, we're like, man, my day, but when someone sold out, You were like, oh, you're a fucking sellout.

You're a phony.

Right.

You have no interest in actually doing this you're just doing this for the money that's why they had the fucking decency to go to japan so that we never saw it so that it didn't ruin it

right that is true they yeah that now it's just like what else what how many things can i contractually be the spokesman of how it's like how many things can i shove down your throat if you're a fan of mine right i mean the perfect gene is one of them

and don't forget to stop by theperfect theperfectgene.nyc.

But it's

it's it's kind of thematically what we're talking about, where it's like all available, but we're doing the worst version of it.

Yeah, we have the gear.

We don't have the excuses we used to.

Yeah.

You used to be able to, it's so hard to make a movie, and now it's like really easy.

It's just like, can you get like some people together?

And it's like, no, that's too hard.

So yeah, we just ran out of excuses and And now we're all like, oh, yeah, we like just suck.

We can't do anything.

But it makes me wonder if, like,

did the Romans know when it was ending?

Were they like, hey, we kind of suck right now?

Like, we kind of got it pretty good and it's collapsing.

Maybe.

I mean, I remember you hear about the Roman Empire collapsing when they were like,

you know, Caligula made a

made.

a horse a senator.

You remember that?

They were always saying that when he made a horse a senator, that's when they knew it was over.

And we're in like in 2024.

It's like, I would kill for a horse senator, right?

Are you kidding me?

What an upgrade that would be.

A horse senator?

Not running on anything except

that's it.

No, well, they'd be in the professional ministry because they'd always vote nay.

Yeah.

That's good.

I love it.

I love it.

You know what's funny, though, is as you're saying that, you were like, I'm disappointed already.

No, I'm thinking in my head, I'm going, We're already there, dude.

You know how many towns have dog mares?

You know, you'll see on instagram where you'll be like that golden retriever isn't just wearing a tie because it's fun he actually runs i would be so disappointed if they're like hey who's the mayor and they're like that lab you'd be like oh fuck he gets assassinated yeah they have to give him like a state funeral

the president has to go and speak at it he was a good boy he was a very good boy yeah i mean that is uh the horse senator you're right.

Let's run a horse for president.

I wouldn't even mind that.

Anything.

Ride him to the White House.

I don't even know who his campaign slogan.

You just want to turn everything off.

There's a moment where you hope the aliens hit us with like an electromagnetic pulse where everything shuts down and we have to go like, I kind of got crazy back there.

I was showing my dick online.

Like all these people are like, I'm showing my asshole to everybody.

Dude, it would be so crazy if we had to get by on our actual skills in the universe yeah instantly i'd be dead even if you didn't have money like if if you just went to a barter system yeah what would we give them like to get for me to go to like the toyota factory and convince them to give me a toyota camry

Like, what could I possibly do to them?

I will tell you some jokes for an hour.

They would be like, what?

Are you fucking crazy?

I'm building a car.

Leave me alone.

And I'd be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Do you ever hear Macho Man doing Huey Lewis.

And they're like, this fucking guy.

But then there wouldn't be one guy who's like, don't you know?

Yeah.

Yeah, I'd be like,

they say the heart of rock and roll is to beat.

Yeah.

And they'd be like, you can drive my car.

I won't give you one.

That's the power of love, brother.

Yeah.

Make a strong man weak.

Make another man sing.

Turn a hawk to a little white dove.

More than a feeling.

That's the power of love.

And then he just hands me the the keys.

He goes, buddy, it's out.

And we just detailed it.

I would do it.

Maybe a Corolla.

I don't know about a camera.

Give me a Corolla for that.

It is pretty good.

If we ever go back to the barter system, there's just going to be.

Nobody does anything.

You go to an office, you sit at a computer,

you don't do anything.

They send emails.

You email about doing work eventually.

And then you get into it.

Yeah, nothing happens.

Nobody does anything.

I'm going to get to that.

Yeah.

In this room, Mike is the only one that does work.

Yeah.

He edits clicks and puts it up.

You have a product at the end of the day.

But that's what I'm saying.

All my emails are.

I'm going to get to it.

I'm about to get to it.

I'll get to that soon.

I'll do that.

Yeah, man.

It is.

You hope

when civilization, our current civilization winds down,

whoever survives,

if they ever reboot the internet and they watch all this, they're going to be like, oh, shit.

I know they're going to make a bad show about it.

It'll look like a porno.

In 2021, it's just like,

he created OnlyFans.

You're Mike OnlyFan.

And he's like, yeah, it's

Watkins is in it.

Yeah.

Hopkins is like, I'm still alive.

He's just ahead.

Yeah, it always blows my mind that it gets to that.

Like,

I saw, I go to like these sites that dump all these news articles because I like random, I like reading random stories.

And I read this story today that was in the Wall Street Journal about a woman that was an escort for the 1%.

And she said just everybody would like

lie to each other to make it seem okay.

Where she, like, all the hookers would be like, I went to boarding school and I used to ski in the Alps.

And then all like the Johns were like, I'm not lonely.

I'm just super busy.

They were like, well, everyone's lying to them.

You just be like, I'm a hooker.

And you're like, I'm a John.

It's like old school hookers.

You just drive up and be like, will you blow me for 20 bucks?

And they're like, move over.

I'm getting in.

But now it's like a backstory where you have to almost write a show to get a hooker.

I know.

That should be an acting class at UCB that knows how to be a hooker.

I'm in.

Improv for hookers.

I'm in improv for hookers 201.

I passed my class.

Guys, come to my class show.

Just ladies in fishnets doing fucking pitches.

Yeah,

the woman taking taking the tickets like, so what are you?

You in town?

Do you like to party?

You want to do a little half and a half party?

And you're like, oh, you're a naughty bitch.

Oh,

freak out.

Yeah.

Lay chic.

Say freak.

Hi, everybody.

It's Dan Soder, and I'm on the road always and never stopping.

This November, I got a badass show that I'm very excited about with few tickets left.

Town hall for New York Comedy Festival, November 8th at 9.45 945 p.m.

Town hall go get tickets right now.

There's a few remaining.

Let's fill it up.

I'm very excited for that show.

And then the next night we're doing Toronto, Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

Two shows at the Queen Elizabeth Theater.

First show, completely sold out.

Second show, lots of tickets available.

Go to the late show.

If you don't have your tickets yet, go check out the late show.

It is November 9th at the Queen Elizabeth Theater.

The 730 is sold out.

The 930 is very on sale.

Tampa, Florida.

I hope you're okay after the hurricane.

We're coming down there in November.

November 15th, excuse me, November 14th through the 16th.

I will be at Side Splitters Comedy Club in Tampa.

I hope you're all right.

And if everything's okay, come on out and we'll have a laugh.

Danceodor.com.

That's where you find me.

I'm trying new catchphrases.

Does this work?

That's where you'll find me.

I think that sucks.

They don't.

Also,

how do you interact with hookers anymore?

Where do you find a hooker?

Online.

It's all online.

Online?

I bet if you're doing the old school,

the old 42nd Street.

Oh, yeah.

You can't tell it.

The way everyone dresses now, the way they dress.

Yeah.

You also could, like, trying to find a hooker in person.

In linear form.

In linear form.

Analog hook hooker.

Analog hooker.

Analog hooker, you'd be like, excuse me miss are you a hooker and they'd be like what the fuck and then they're recording you so now you're online it's like watch this guy think i'm a hooker and you're like i just wanted a hooker right right right but then i don't know how they would do it yeah you used to have remember that movie pretty woman with uh yeah julie roberts yeah which you can't tell me a hooker didn't produce because they made it look like they made it look like hooking was the best where you're like you can choose if you're not going to kiss a guy yeah yeah hookers act like the john's not going to force a kiss on you.

But they had a whole scene that there was a whole element of that movie early on where they were like, you cannot dress.

She had like boots up to her knees.

And they're like,

you look like a hooker.

You can't come into this.

You can't come into the hotel looking like that.

And they had to go get her a makeover.

These days, you know, you just think she was the catering manager, for Christ's sakes.

I mean, the way that everyone's dressed.

She's actually the general manager of the hotel.

Yeah, that's crazy because in the 80s, specifically in the 80s and then I think in early 90s, they really pushed this whole like pro-hooker agenda with

risky business.

When Tom Cruise was like, My parents are gone, I'm going to be a pimp for the weekend, and I'm going to have all my high school friends fuck hookers, which would have been that you would have gotten so many kids' venereal diseases and shit.

All these kids would have been at high school, like, dude, I think that girl you gave me got crabs.

And then there was risky business, pretty woman, milk money.

Do you remember Milk Money?

No, Melanie Griffith, Griffin, Griffith.

Griffith.

Griffith played a hooker.

Yeah.

And the main character

pretends she's not a hooker.

So he'll fall in love.

So her dad will fall in love with her.

It's a rom-com.

Pretend she's not.

So her dad.

His dad.

Ed Harris.

Yeah, Ed Harris.

Yeah.

And Melanie.

Oh my God.

Yeah, dude.

And she's the hooker.

I'm going to show you the trailer.

We're going to edit it in right now so that people can home watch it.

Why not be able to?

Oh, because of.

They're literally so young.

They're under sixth grade.

Yeah, you have to understand if you are not, if we didn't edit this in and you got to go watch Milk Money Trailer, we're talking about like nine-year-olds.

Pre-pubescent.

Yeah.

Pre-pubescent boys.

Going to get a hooker.

Who should have no urge to know what a hooker is?

And I know this sounds selfish, but hear me out.

We're all whores.

Bring back

movie trailer guy.

Pablo Francisco got a great bit out of it, but bring him back.

They don't do this anymore.

And

it made you amped up for the movie.

Yeah, because you made it being like, it was almost like this voice of God.

Yeah, it was like this would be cool.

Coming up.

These boys don't know what they're doing is a sex crowd.

You could be the guy.

That's what I'm saying.

You should.

Hire me.

Hire me to be the fucking...

But here, I'll show you the rest of the trailer.

Because this is, as a concept, just a wild movie.

What it is.

I'm actually blown away by this.

I want to do a watch along of this movie i might have to do a watch along of this movie i mean that's crazy this is so the whole point is that and by the way it works they like fall in love and then his dad fucking marries a hooker

how about make money too called meet the family she's got a heart of gold and that's the thing but do they i i was expecting kind of like a an anthony michael hall a ferris bueller type these are legitimate hollywood in the 80s by the way a lot of the you're not, this is like controversial.

They push, they're grooming.

They're

hardcore grooming so much.

Well, look at those little girls.

Those little girls watched that hooker and they went like this.

That's bad.

Yeah.

That's very bad.

And you're like, hey, if I were one of their dads, I'd be like, what?

There's a fucking hooker walking around downtown?

What do you do?

I would beat the shit out of Ed Harris.

I'd be like, dude, you're bringing a hooker around my fucking kid?

What's wrong with you?

And I'm not like button up.

I'm pretty fucking,

I'm apolitical, but I'm pretty pretty socially liberal yeah where I would be like what the fuck are you doing with a hooker around here it's super weird they have

every movie from like back to the future even well I mean they fake rape

it's like no but it's like how many high schoolers do you know that are friends with like a 60 year old man who lives by himself in town a genius scientist he shows up he shows up at high school hey Marty get in my cool car we got to go somewhere you can't tell anyone about it he goes you know technically

it's not pedophilia if you go back to the 50s.

That's the whole reason Emmett Brown.

Emmett Brown was just like,

I can get around these pedophilia laws.

Back in 1950, I was only 18.

He goes, what are you talking about?

Technically, we're the same age.

He goes, I don't know about this, Doc.

He's like, no, just let me suck you.

Let me suck you in the DeLorean.

So weird.

All those movies, like the Karate Kid is the same.

They're all the mixed match of a teenager and an old man.

You're ruined in all my favorite movies.

But you're not wrong.

They get drunk at one point, don't they?

Doesn't Miyagi get drunk?

He gives him a car.

He gives him a car.

He's got a bunch of cars.

Wax on.

You tell me that's not some kind of...

They had a scene where they were getting, he was waxing his butthole.

Danielson, he's called,

it's called Sucker Miyagi.

He goes, oh, yeah.

He goes, I don't know, Mr.

Miyagi.

This doesn't seem like it's Ichimi Karate.

He goes, nah, sucker the dick.

Yeah, there's a scene, though, that he's upset about his dead wife, and he's very drunk.

And then Daniel LaRusso has to put him in bed.

now you tell me you be the judge i'm just saying that's it that was la russo

raping miyagi

daniel san i woke up in my bed and he goes you wanted me there

you wanted me there miyagi and he goes i did not Miyagi-san, there's no consent.

And he's like, it's consent if you drink sake with me.

I'm from New Jersey.

I'm going to show you how the La Russo's do it.

Hold on, I want to see the episode.

I'm from New Jersey.

Oh, yeah.

That was the whole funny thing.

That's right.

They moved it.

It was just a loudmouthed ginzo from New Jersey comes to California.

Because the show Cobra Kai, which fucking does rule.

It is cool.

Because they switched the whole thing.

But a guy did that on YouTube where he was like, Daniel LaRusso is actually the bad guy.

He like shows up, takes Johnny Lawrence's girlfriend, and he then beats him up in front of everybody at a tournament.

You're like, perspective, man.

But I want to watch the end of this trailer because this is now with fresh eyes on that let's try to put it in this we're going to try if it doesn't work old copyright strike and if you reported us i hope you find a lump under your armpit i truly do you fucking snitch you've got nothing better to do than go like oh they're watching it they're having a good time watching a fucking movie trailer why is it copyright if this is relevant to current events yeah that's the thing milk money we're dealing with inflation this is an important

this this is a piece of documentary record that we can use.

It's it's fair use

because we have the relevant current events to associate it with.

You've met my legal counsel, David Angelo.

That's right.

He's Italian, so it's in the board.

Believe the source.

We grew up in the court system.

They came for us.

La Costa Rostra.

This thing of ours.

Here, let's watch the end of.

Because by the way, if I would have hypothetically gotten a hooker for Gary, my father, and then just shown up with it, my dad would have gone like this.

All right, that's a party.

I'm going to need you to go play.

What's her rate?

Hey, pal, what's her rate?

Oh, my God.

I mean, grooming.

They just do the whole scene where they're like,

She's taking her clothes off in class.

I got to watch this.

Also, you want to go, and she fucks for money, so she's great at it.

Like, that's the selling.

Do you think they phone it in?

I've never been with a hooker, but I imagine it's never, I've never, I've never purchased a hooker.

Yeah, I can see them just being quiet, quitting, and you know, not putting the effort in.

I feel like, um, you know, when athletes are in a contract year and they like absolutely blow up, and you're like, and then the next season, they're like a little more quiet.

I think that's probably like

they're quiet, docile, they don't don't care,

get down to business, it starts happening when they want it to be over.

I bet they turn it on and it's like

incredible.

And then they're like, All right, now I need my money, I gotta get out.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, like they can, yeah, because they're paid by the job, not the hour, exactly.

So, they're kind of like they have to be good, or they are kind of paid by the hour because the guy's like you know, get them for an hour.

So, I wonder if they just like they draw it out.

Well, it's also like boxers, boxers will take them

$20 million budget for milk money.

In those days, by the way, in those days.

That's $20 million.

What did three Amigos cost?

I bet it's less than that.

I bet it's less than that.

Then a Hooker movie.

Yeah.

God, I want to watch Milk Money.

Because they probably had to pay, like, that was probably, that movie was probably done to buy off so many people.

That's how Hollywood used to work.

They'd be like, oh, this guy's blackmailing me.

So he's got to be the set designer on this movie.

I'll give him that.

And this guy's blackmailing me.

So that's how they would do it.

That's how you get a $20 million

Ed Harris.

Right.

It takes place in a suburban house.

That's it.

Four location.

Four locations.

Maybe they come to the city for a day.

They do a day of city shooting.

What did?

Oh, milk money?

So lost.

Lost money.

Lost $2 million.

Damn.

It was in the red.

No, milk money, too.

Yeah.

Jugs of milk is what I would have called it.

I mean, dude.

Chocolate milk would be a black hooker.

Oh, shit.

Oh, Jack A.

Jack Avery

comes in and she's like, dude, that would have been Make Milk Money was a black hooker.

Let's see that.

Or Ed Harris is like, who the fuck is that?

And she's like, I ain't going to fuck you.

He's like, she's a math teacher.

Dude, watch Milk Money, but it's a black or just a fiery like Latina hooker, like a Puerto Rican hooker who's like, by the way, all your jewelry, that's not real China.

And he's like, how do you know?

You went through it?

But what's the like loving message at the end?

Because he keeps being like it's the kid pumping up the the hooker yeah it is very odd

oh they got randy newman too and she's a hooker

she's a hooker and she worked

that's so funny and she's gonna take your dad for everything he's got

Love to see you smile.

Well, Randy Newman, that's 10 million of the budget right there.

Worth Worth every penny.

She grew up in a bad neighborhood.

And she's like, I'm a hooker.

He's a little white kid whose mom died.

You're going to marry my dad.

She's like, bitch, I ain't going to do no such thing.

I ain't doing that shit, you crazy ass little.

What the hell wrong with these little white boys now?

I want you to meet my dad.

Her dad was a MAGA Republican.

And he's like, who is this?

Who the fuck is this black woman in our living room?

I told her I'm not voting for Kamala.

He needs a new mom.

She's a black hooker.

I think we just got green lit.

That's that's too good.

That's too good.

$26 million for milk money to chocolate milk.

And we could David Angelo and I are writing it.

We could make it with that money these days with the cameras now.

Are you kidding me?

We could make it for fucking $4 million and then split $22 million between the three of us.

I could be on so much fentanyl by Christmas.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, I'd be like, I'd be wearing Kleenex boxes of shoes like Howard.

Howard.

The dream, the Hollywood dream.

To get so wealthy, you get mentally ill.

Oh, that's where it is.

That's truly the, that's the final goal is to get so rich that you can be crazy and everyone around you just says yes.

Yeah.

That's like what's going on with Kanye right now.

Did you see that?

Kanye.

Is there a new chapter of that?

Yeah, it's pretty wild, dude.

So there's a dentist.

Okay.

Oh, I didn't see this.

People that worked for Ye are saying

that this dentist got Kanye hooked on Laughing Gas, and it's driven him insane.

And it's like...

Yeah, well, it's really.

I don't know nothing about that beyond that, what you just said.

But like, that's when you start getting into whip-its and stuff.

Oh, yeah.

So then you start doing it all the time in an uncontrolled, like crazy way.

It's putting up like fries and training.

Yeah, you're like fucking up your brain.

Yeah.

And it's crazy that there's like,

I wonder if this dentist, I keep thinking, does this dentist have other clients?

So like a guy's getting like worked on, you go,

is that Kanye?

Hi.

And that tear in the next room getting laughing dash.

Is that Kanye?

And he goes, oh, your incisor looks like it's a little infected.

And you go, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Quick question again.

You know, the guy in the space helmet?

And

his wife is dressed in saran wrap.

Is that

that's the dentist?

That's the dentist.

Come on.

Dude, come on.

That is not that.

That's like a porn dentist.

That looks like Vin Diesel.

That's so he is.

I only live my life.

One nitrous oxide is a time.

That's not the dentist.

That's really him,

you know.

Generally, and I'm not board certified, but when you go see a dentist, you want him to have sleeves.

I think that's something the lavish life of Kanye West dentist tattooed Thomas Connolly, dubbed himself the father of diamond

dentistry, and boasts superstar client list as he's accused of getting rapper hooked on nitrous oxide.

This is on the Daily Mail, in case you want to come for me.

The biggest thing is that I'm going to take away my perfect gene, money.

You won't.

You won't.

Kanye did?

Kanye's new album.

He's on Whippets.

Yeah.

So they're saying that

he's been stuck with claims that he got the rapper hooked on nitrous oxide, who obviously the dentist denied it,

but he did fit Kanye West with $850,000 titanium dentures.

Wow.

Who else is his client?

He doesn't need any other.

So funny when a guy like that tries to dress regular.

Yeah, they look like monsters.

He goes, hey, how you doing?

It's what they do.

This is what they do in porn, by the way.

I think he's got hair tits, but they're bad hair tits.

The suits always look tear away.

Yeah.

You want to go, you're not wearing underwear under those slacks, are you?

And he goes, absolutely not.

Absolutely not.

And I have a Prince Albert.

I mean, Kanye looks crazy with those, with those.

Those are implants?

Those titanium dentures.

Oh, denture it looks like he's got done he got he's removed all his teeth well i think it's like oh you put it on yeah you put it over it but who else is his i mean dude the way he makes his wife dress is

objectively i here's the thing i think kanye west is an incredible musician obviously he's made insanely awesome songs his talent for music that documentary on netflix was heartbreaking you wonder if people like him ever snap out of it and come around and then he's like married to that girl and he's like hey sorry i made you dress like that.

Like, he just makes her wear like cat sweaters later.

He's like, Put your tits away, miss.

Connolly, who's a father of five, obviously juggles his dental work with bodybuilding.

Connolly, I mean, the biggest problem here for me is a dentist who's Irish.

Irish dentist.

You can't do that.

You can't do that.

That is a problem.

That's no good.

He's not.

You should have known going into it at all.

Well, it looks as if your teeth, you need a little more of the laughing gas.

What are you giving it to?

He goes, this right here is leprechaun dreams.

Suck in the leprechaun dreams.

And you're going, ah.

But I almost, I think having a dentist that's super into nitrous oxide like that, at first, rules.

At first, you're like, like,

Dr.

Lisa, I'm not going to give her last name because I'm going to the dentist tomorrow.

If my dentist was like, do you want some nitrous oxide?

I'd be like,

I don't got spots.

I got one spot.

Let me rip.

And then I'd be like, woo!

But like all the time, getting hooked on something like that seems like

more of a pain in the ass.

Well, it's more dangerous.

That's how that's how Elvis started was the doctor was giving him the drugs.

That's how they all, that's what it got Michael Jackson.

Yeah.

That's what it's getting Kanye.

Michael Jackson, I got an endoscopy like six years ago or whatever, and

they had to put me under to look at, you know, to shove a tube down my throat.

And when I woke up,

I was like, this is the greatest I've ever felt in my life.

I asked the nurse, I was like, can I have this again?

Yeah.

And she was like, no.

And I was like, I'm sorry, I'm an addict.

But she was like, yeah.

As I'm recovering, she goes, that's the stuff that killed Michael Jackson.

And you're like, oh.

I'll take another round, though.

Get two.

Get one for everybody.

Let's all go to sleep together.

Well, thank you.

Do you have Conrad Murray's number?

Do you have Conrad?

That's the duck.

I'm looking to get some diamond fangs shoved in my face, and I'm going to make Katie wear nothing but shopping bags.

It's so crazy just to make people wear.

Do you tell your wife to go like,

wear a poncho at high heels?

And she goes, okay.

At one point, the Daily Mail is obsessed with her, the wife,

sensori or something.

Yeah, Bianca Sensori or something.

There's a story about her.

Every outfit she puts on, they do an article.

But once it's literally just dog shit.

I like it, it, though.

It's bad, but it's like kind of interesting because you see stuff you don't see otherwise.

But at one point, the outfit was just her holding a pillow.

Oh, I saw that.

She was wearing like a cat hat and holding a pillow.

But it's so funny if you like work at Starbucks and she comes in and you're like, you're Grande Express.

Oh, and she goes, sorry.

I got to hold my pillow.

Thank you.

Also, if she's on like an airplane holding that, she's like, I can't.

Oh, you know what?

Just fold it.

Miss, you can't have your tits and pussy out here on Delta, even if you're trying to sleep on the plane.

You can't have your tits and pussy out.

I hate that policy.

It's such a

cracked down.

Since 9-11, they've cracked down.

It's so specifically.

It's so Delta.

Oh, it's so Delta.

Yeah, that's so wild to me that doctors always be, if you're famous.

They want you to come back because they're billing and make a lot of money.

And also, look at that guy.

His whole thing is he boasts an A-plus,

you know, like

A-list stars.

Yeah, it's so damn good.

I got to worry about Shane and Nate.

I can't have them going to doctors.

Shane's going to be like, nah, dude, this guy rules.

He's just doing it.

He goes, we all do.

Or like Nate's like, have you ever met my, have you met my bodybuilding dentist?

I'm afraid of my super famous friends just getting hooked on nitrous and shit like that.

Yeah, no, that is a path you don't want to go down.

But it's also an indication that you truly are successful is when doctors are trying to get you fucked up all the time.

Or Or just trying to see you.

Yeah.

What are you doing later?

And you go, I don't know.

You're a doctor.

Why are you hanging out with me?

My doctors are always like, we can come back in February.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Yeah, my doctor Smell.

Do you have a heart attack?

Fuck you.

Dr.

Schmell,

I tried getting like one of those plaque tests to see how bad my heart is.

And he goes, no.

He just told me no.

He goes, no, you're too young.

I was like, no, I want to get that look.

And he goes, I don't give a shit.

You're too.

It's a calcium test i was looking to see a calcium test and he goes he just flat out told me no right this guy

kanye's doctor is like i'll give you three you want to do a calcium test i'll give you three calcium tests i'll have you you want to get high off calcium

kanye's like

yes yes i do with his dentures in you know you get high on calcium it's very expensive you need a lot of milk money yeah milk money milk money too coming to theaters calcium edition damn dude if we can get 24 million

Why don't I?

I mean, have you ever tried to sell a movie that you were like, I know this is bullshit, but they'll definitely make this?

No, I've never gotten anything made.

Why don't you?

I mean, you can.

Because I've always tried.

I've always put a lot of effort in and made stuff that I would want to watch.

And they deny it.

They shoot it down.

Anytime I have a great idea and I go through the laborious process of writing it and developing it and having this whole world built, they usually buy the script and then they go,

We kind of needed something a little more

dumb.

Yeah,

it's crazy.

I've had ideas where I've been like,

like we sold a show, and I've talked about this fucking ad nauseum, but we've uh

we so we sold a show with Stone Cold Steve Austin, a cartoon

to Peacock.

Um,

and we got the approval of the WWE.

We went through so much stuff,

and then they just went like, no.

really?

Even a cartoon?

I thought they were clamoring for cartoons.

Dude, we had Stone Cold, like, we wrote the show with Stone Cold Steve Austin, and they were like, nah.

And they're like, well, what are you guys going to make?

And they're like, Ted the cartoon.

And you're like, all right, all right.

And so when people get upset that there's nothing, like we're doing at the beginning of this show, that there is nothing good.

It's all because people

who

make a lot of this stuff

don't want to make a risk because they want to keep their jobs.

But they get fired anyway.

Well, they don't understand that.

They don't understand.

Like Netflix right now doesn't understand that it's doing a disservice to stand-up.

It thinks that it's helping stand-up by, oh, well, these people get large numbers.

We'll put these people on our platform, but you're not growing anything.

It's kind of the way a little bit comedy clubs are doing that right now, where they're going like, I know friends of mine that open for me or that I just know, comedy clubs have reached out and gone like sorry man we're only booking people with like huge social media followings and you go

are they good at stand-up right or are they just incredibly popular right now yeah well if they sell tickets I get the perspective of the club you just want to make money but they used to

I don't want to be too much of an old man right now but they used to

understand that and go okay if these people are selling a lot of tickets we'll do them Wednesday and Sunday and then these like legitimate comics can do Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

And as we build with them, hopefully, there'll be this continual.

Like, I have a lot of great relationships with clubs that have over the years built up with me.

And you kind of know, like, hey, last time we sold out four out of five, maybe next time we sell out five out of five.

But they don't realize by booking these like social media people, they're just going to come in and do the club and sell out.

And then they're going to go, like, well, I'm going to the theater.

Fuck you.

I have no interest in working the club again.

This is just, you're just a check to me.

Yeah.

And that's a lot of what these tv shows are and it's just people like chuck lore and shit that are going i don't know i got an idea about a kid he's a fucking gets a hooker for his dad and they go great

instead of a movie where you're like that's actually a pretty good look at like what prostitution is in modern era and they're like damn we don't want to Yeah, anything that makes you think is kind of tough.

But the

idea to me is like, if you're a television executive, you're working in entertainment, don't you want to be kind of like,

I get in the show business because I wanted to like work in like the circus.

Sure.

I wanted to be crazy.

Sure.

And if you're an entertainment executive, don't you want to have like some crazy times?

But they just like they keep making like the most

like tepid, boring, like it can't be fun on these sets.

Yeah.

You know, whereas in like the 70s and 80s, it was like, okay, our main, our lead is a cocaine addict, but you know what?

We're going to have a good time.

I mean, dude, look what they did with like Morkin Mindy.

Are you even like, they always said like Robin Williams was out of his fucking tits, but the show worked.

And like Animal House, they're like, dude, everyone was a real fucking problem.

And you're like, and it created a great movie.

What's the golf one?

Catty Shack.

Catty Shack makes absolutely no sense.

There's no way that it's not.

Unwatchable.

It is the worst movie ever, but it came out and it was like, all right, you know, but we get it.

Dude, they hired Rodney Dangerfield who had never acted before.

Yeah, because never acted.

That's the glory of when Hollywood was fun because everyone was doing drugs, even the executives.

Yeah.

So, and they were all being blackmailed again.

And we go back to this.

So they're like, all right, we got to do this.

We'll get Dangerfield in.

Dude, it's one of my favorite Hollywood stories of all time is Dangerfield, the first day of filming.

He was on the golf course doing his lines.

They did a couple takes, and then he gets done and he goes over to like a PA or like the assistant director, and he's like,

I'm bombing.

And they're like, what?

He's like, I'm doing terrible out there.

And they're like, Rodney, we can't laugh at you.

We're being filmed.

It's like picking up the audio.

And he's like, oh, you like had no idea.

Like, that simple thing of like, oh, I just thought I was doing real bad.

And you're like, no,

you were doing awesome.

But, like,

hadn't he ever seen a movie?

I get not being in one, but like,

surely he'd seen a movie and there wasn't a laugh track.

I don't know.

Maybe he thought, like, yeah,

everyone's laughing.

It might have been high as shit.

I mean, exactly.

It might have been yacked out of his mind.

I didn't know it was a movie.

He's like, oh, it's somebody playing golf.

honestly my teeth can't stop chattering yeah but yeah i've been a good dangerfield yeah dude do is that is that thing you're known for yeah i do danger i's one of the voices i do okay he's one of my secret little voices in my head

one of the ones telling me to shoot all the bad people

that's how you realize a mass shooter that does voices who's rodney dangerfield he goes hey you're all gonna pay

rodney the rodney dangerfield mass shooter he goes oh hey she broke up with me.

I wrote a manifesto.

I get no respect.

I'm telling you, my wife left me.

Now I'm going to clear out the mall.

I got fired from the post office.

Now everyone's going to die.

There we go.

There's the character.

There it is.

There it is.

That's fucking...

Mass shooter dangerfield.

Rodney Dangerfield as a mass shooter is so fucking funny.

Hey,

you might know my gang.

One known as the Trude Coast Mafia.

Something about our mafia.

Yeah, it's this little thing of ours.

We shoot jucks.

Hey, everybody's going to die.

We do that instead of everybody's getting laid.

Hey, everybody's going to pay.

There you go.

Wow, look at that.

Yeah.

You know, they said you couldn't make mass shooter jokes funny.

We've done it.

Yeah, that's really what

if you can't with that, what can you?

That's it.

Dangerfield was so funny.

Dude, I appreciate you coming on the podcast.

David Angelo's special out on YouTube right now.

Right now.

You can go over if you're in the search bar.

It's called New York Legend.

Yeah, shot like an old grimy.

That intro is far.

Sick.

Thank you.

Honestly, the best intro I've ever seen on a special.

Thank you.

I appreciate it.

It is very fucking cool.

It's a great special.

Very funny.

David Angelo, New York Legend.

Make sure you check it out.

Follow him.