99: Feral from the Road with Rob Thomas | Soder Podcast | EP 97

Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour is officially upon us. September 25th, Los Angeles, the United Theater.

September 26th, the Moore Theater in Seattle. And then, thank you, Portland.
You're sold out. But I love you.
And, you know, there might be a wait list. But then we got Tucson at the Rialto.

October 3rd, the Paramount Theater in Denver. Close to sold out, October 4th.
Dansoder.com. Go there for tickets.
Do not go to to Google. For the love of God, do not go to Google.
Go to dansoter.com.

It's really fun. I'm bringing a lot of very funny people with me on this tour.
And I think you guys will have a good time. I really think you do.

Myrtle will not be there, but she'll be there in spirit. So, danso.com for tickets, Golden Triver of Comedy tour.
Happening now.

That was like, and that was, I guess, like Paul Simon went to school there and Cindy Lauper went to school. Yeah, Queens has got everybody.

yeah queens has got a far new york city because you're from orlando right grew up in florida south carolina yeah then orlando yeah it's always like when you come to when you're in new york and you hear about everyone that went to the high school of people you're like my high school sucked yeah i know but also like in general like i grew up like when i was a kid i would watch sesame street right sure but like

They would always cut away like from Sesame Street to those like those filmed moments that were like all these like inner city school kids

with New York accents yeah yeah you know would they be like I don't know about that girl it sounded like a plumber you know those fucking kids were like they like they were picking up like the like the Wall Street Journal and a coffee on their way on their way to school well Manhattan kids New York kids I feel like they scare the shit out of me yeah they age at five times the rate I see them and so I'm like in the mornings when I have to do stuff in the city and I see them like going to school like unattended yeah just like six 11 year olds that are from New York City will make me very cautious and it's even worse if they have like a school uniform

because then they really look organized Yeah, they're like, I know the Bible, I know what rules to break. And I'm going to, teenagers in New York City are scarier than teenagers anywhere else.

And teenagers everywhere are scary. Everywhere, teenagers are scary because they still have child brains and their bodies are blowing up at a rate that they're just like,

and their ability to take like from thought to action is like that. It's like nothing.

You know when you turn on a TV and someone has left the volume too high? And it just, that's what a teenager is. It's just like that's

an embodied spirit yeah it's just like their whole life they're just like the volumes you haven't seen what was the what was the stiller movie with uh was it greenberg which one noah sports movie the greenberg where he he was like this neurotic uh guy living in his sister's house but he had this moment where he just he's doing drugs with all these these teenagers and these rich teenagers and he's just like you you guys scare the shit out of me he's like one day i'm gonna have to like be up against a job with one of you guys dude they're new york that's why new york kids can start businesses like when you meet people from new York, by the time they're 30, they're like, well, I have my first business by like 22.

It's like, well, yeah, you were also in rehab by the time you were 12. Yeah, I got it.
That was when I met Manhattan kids when I started waiting tables in New York.

You'd meet people who be like, I grew up in the city. And you're like, what's that like? And they're like, it's fun.
You know, you're doing Coke by 11. Yeah.
You're like, what the fuck?

You're just doing yak

and like still watching Power Rangers. Yeah, I was like, that wasn't Orlando.

Well, Orlando is like... Orlando has its own different kind of, I think every place has its own trouble.
It's just, but think about Florida's got like Florida is that like, especially central Florida.

Yeah. There's no discernible culture of its own.
Yeah. Right.
It's training in nature. Yeah.
So it's fast food, it's mini malls. And it's tourism is like the driving thing.
Rainforest cafe.

Yeah, right. That's what I think about.
Margaritaville. Yeah.
I just think about restaurants that force the beach on you.

That's why I'm amazed at like people that come from like Orlando and then they come to New York and they go to fucking Olive Garden. Yeah, you're like, what are you doing? Yeah.

You just break the cycle. Break the traumatic cycle.
I'm the same way. I'm from Colorado.
I'm from Aurora, which was mini malls, suburbs, and all that stuff.

And you come to New York and you're like, this has been a restaurant for like 80 years. I'm amazed when I see a new restaurant.

When I see a new anything in Manhattan, like if you see like a new nail salon as you're drive, and you're just like, good for you. Yeah.
Good for you. You're going to fail miserably, but good for you.

I don't know if you feel about this, about performing, but when people are like, how do you go up there and do stand-up?

Or like, how do you go up there and do you go, how do you start a small business? Yeah.

I can go tell dick jokes to a hundred people easy. I cannot

file taxes and fucking get the permits. Once you've figured out, like in anything in entertainment, how to make a living out of it,

the individual efforts, usually the stakes are fucking low. Yeah.
I mean, they're really low. Like if you, if you bomb, if I have a bad night, you'll pick them up next time.

It's probably going to be okay. You'll, you'll, I don't know how you are, but I will like,

and no one notices yeah no one not you like i'll have a bad show and i'll be like that sucked and people be like great and and and it used to be when i first started doing stand-up i'd be like shut the up right and then with another therapy i was like oh that is just me i just

i always get like oh shit if you liked that oh imagine if you saw me when i was good

you would you would shit yeah shit out of your ears and you would blow me right here

now is there what is bombing for a musician like because i would say

for the last

it's it's been like over 20 years now, you've had a great fan base. 30 years with Matchbox.
So 30 years. Yeah, and 20 years solo.
Yeah. So you have a fan base.
Yeah. So like

I just got off tour like Saturday. Oh, shit.
And

we played L.A.

and I, well, I took the bus back because my wife and I stay on the bus. So like we just got the bus yesterday back to my house, like pulled the bus up.
I unloaded the bus.

Do you finish that early tonight? Home or bus? Because you're on the bus somewhere. A little of both.
I mean, because our bus is swank, right? Because it's a whole back bedroom.

It's a one, you know, yeah i got my wife on there i wrote with burt kreischer on his tour i imagine it's like that yeah his he had a whole bedroom and yeah and then the other bunks were awful big condo bunks like the nice nice size bunks i mean it's it's really easy and there's something about that motion of the bus that really just can lull you right to sleep i've said this before but i know this is a dark thought i can't sleep on buses because i hear the tread of like this the thing and it and I look too much like Cliff Burton.

So I'm like afraid of a bus accident. Dude, I don't want to die.

On the last Matchbox tour, our guitar player, my best friend Paul, we didn't tell him this until the tour was over, but he was on the bus that Scott Wiland died on. No.

No, you can't. Yeah, that's like anybody that believes in it.

That's a great job. You didn't say that.
We all wait until the very last day. Oh, my God.
By the way,

cool fact.

Did you feel it?

Pop up, Morgan.

Like, dude, that would be, if you told me that, the similar thing happened to, I mean, not with Scott Weiland. I I wasn't like, this is the bus.
It's got to be a crazy thing to say to someone.

FYI, that's where Scott Weiland died.

My fiancé and I were visiting my grandma, and we had to sleep in this guest room, and we just couldn't sleep in it. It was really hot, and she like wouldn't put on the AC at night.

And finally, on the last night, I was like, well, this was the room my dad and my aunt died in. And she was like, you, what the fuck?

She was like. And I did the same thing you did to your guitar player.
I was like, I don't want to tell you to the last day. By the way.
Yeah, she's like, well, we're never sleeping in here again.

This is with your girlfriend? girlfriend this is my fiancé

you guys were in that room we did not have sex okay i there was no chance of having any sex my grandma's townhouse was i would have had to have been 13 year old horny your grandma's like famous like through your stand-up she's basically famous she's dead now and she never watched my stand-up oh really she has no she was such a central part of so much of it yeah i yeah she was in she's gonna be in the last hour it's about her dying oh is one of the jokes how when did she pass away by the way a year ago oh i'm sorry i know you guys are really close though yeah we were the last couple years got crazy when the finances started getting involved oh yeah you're from florida you understand that yeah when you start getting finances involved and i have finances yeah

this is where this is a game changer

you have this is inviting the vampire into the house and you don't realize who's going to move which way oh man so we were i loved my grandma but it was when she died i was like good

yeah i was like rotten piss rotten piss man i'll see you later it was one of those calls where you go

well, it was really funny.

The day I found out my grandma died was

the day after Shane hosted SNL for the first time. And he was over here just like eating lunch.
And we're just like talking. And I get a call and I go, okay.
All right. I just go back.

And I go, my grandma's dead. And everyone's like, the fuck?

But I sat down. I was like, anyways,

like that sandwich? I was like, when my mom died,

we had a problematic thing. Okay.
And it was, I was devastated. I mean, like, how old are you? This was 20 years ago, man.
Okay. It was, I have to go.
It was the day that Anna Nicole Smith died. Damn.

God took two angels that day.

Don't you know it? Don't you know it?

They were in line together. Yeah.
She's like, oh, yeah, I'm Anna Nicole Smith.

Half of the liquor industry went, oh,

your profits are fucking, they're going down. What's going on?

February 8th, 7th. February 8th, 07th.

So that was when my mom passed. But

the guilt that I carried was about how much easier I knew that my life was about to come. That's the thing no one tells you about death is that you go, one less phone call to make.
Yeah.

I mean, I was at the point where I was,

this is, I would be like, my mom lived in Florida and so did my wife's family. Sure.

And I would like go visit my wife's family on Thanksgiving and then like go out to a cul-de-sac somewhere and call my mom and be like, I'm sorry, I couldn't make it. Oh, I'm in the Alps.
Yeah. Like,

it's like trying to make noise. I would do that with my grandma.
I would go to San Francisco and do shows and like

go to 49ers games. And then my grandma would be like, and then I'd fly back to New York.
And my grandma was maybe, she was like two hours north in San Francisco. She'd be like, how's your weekend?

You're like,

yeah. So you can justify two hours.
I mean, like. I'm saying I think there isn't.
I think you could be across the street and I wouldn't have done that. And you still would, yeah.
Because it's heavy.

Families always like. It's, it's so, as you get older, I can't imagine, I mean, I imagine it's for everybody.
I think it is. It's a human.
It doesn't come with, you know, I mean,

like you said, finances add another level of something

because you have something

and you understand not having it, right? Because none of us came from it. I think it's the closest you and I will ever feel to having fake breasts.
Yeah.

Where you just like, all of a sudden people are like, what are you doing? Like, I have a small sense of what it's like to be a really hot girl by yourself.

When you get fucking systems and they go, what are you fucking doing?

Because you got under there. I'm getting cat called by my family.
Like, hey, hey, we rich.

Hey, sweet tits you watch your shake it over here and you're like stop it you were treating me different when i was poor but yeah you're right i think it changes when you get older and everything also you know that saying like you can't choose your family it that's not true until you get older you go a thousand percent you can you go i could absolutely i got

i i talked to my sister and and all and like her family sure i i have family i have no idea who the hell they are i haven't seen them since i was eight Okay, is that was there like a cutoff for people to be like, well, you weren't there when I was a struggling songwriter.

Even more than that, like, so me and my, me and my father, we have a weird, he, he, I pay for him to be, he's an assisted living in South Carolina. Great.

But he, me and him, me and my mom, they, they had their own fucking, you know, explosions, right? Yeah. That I was in the aftermath of.

And because of that, like, I always was mad at my mom because she was drunk and angry and violent. And I was mad at my dad because he was passive.

And he would choose to not see me and not spend time with me to not have to deal with my mom. That's a fucking

time I was 17, I was hitchhiking around the South. I was living in my friends' cars.
I was like fucking, you know, sleeping on park benches.

And so when I started to do well and my dad started to show back up, it wasn't about, oh, you want me now that I have money. It was like.

By the time you won a relationship, I had already become self-sufficient. Sure.

I didn't, I like calling you on my birthday or calling you on a birthday or calling you on a holiday, that was not a part of my thing now. Yeah.
And it's my wife's parents that are my family now.

Yeah, that's that's a thing that people don't understand is you learn how to like kind of

cauterize a wound. Yeah.
And then you go, well, what's the point of opening it back up? Without a doubt. It took so much work for me to shut you the fuck off.

And I think, man, there's like a lot of people that do the opposite where they go, I know it hurts, but I have to because it's my family. And you want to tell those people, like, you don't, though.

You don't have to. And your peace is actually you getting them out of your life.
If someone causes a lot of drama, I've never understood that.

I have friends that have, that, i have friends that have mutual friends that are very chaotic and i'm like

why do you hang out that guy oh my god oh yeah he's just my friend and you're like but i also have friends that are chaotic that i can take their chaos yeah and other people can't it's like so i think it's like uh it's like you know this there's movies where it's like they're like they're kind of like like gangster movies and then there's always the one wild card that like no matter what you know he's like they're like you know okay we're gonna keep you cool he's like what why did you bring the gun i got the gun just in case i got the gun he's wingo in the heat oh he shot the guy in the head because he was like he was looking at me and you're like, totally.

And like you have friends like that. What the fuck? Yeah, that was, I always have had a friend like that who might haul off and shoot the teller if we robbed a bank.

And you're like, no, but for some reason, that's comforting to me. Sure.
And some people can't take it.

And I, and I'm always like, I'm always blown away by the people who know they can't take it and still put up. Is it a good, is it, okay, is it a good, maybe there's a, there's a line.

Like, I, I, I, I have a drinking problem in that I drink too much. Shout out.
But who would? Like, but then Have you had the stuff? If you have you want to drink all of it.

If you keep friends in your life that like wake up drinking, you're like, well, at least I don't wake up drinking.

Dude, I mean, that was, you know, I talk about drinking a lot on this, but it was for me being like, I thought I was doing it the better way than my dad did it. Yeah.

Because my dad was like, you know, ruined his life being an alcoholic. Same with my mom.
That's the thing. Like, I'm like, well, I don't have that flask.
And that's exactly.

I'm not, you know, slipping it into my morning orange juice. And so therefore.
It just took one person going, well, you drink like pretty much the same. And you go,

fuck. I think Amy Schumer once said, she said, like, she goes, oh, you know, I drink too much.
Like, like, yesterday was the first day that I didn't drink and I drank. Yeah.
Yeah.

Me and Joe List used to have a thing where we would take Sunday off drinking. And then when we met up on Monday, we'd be like, look at us.
Yeah. Sober.
Pat yourself in the back.

Yeah, we go. Let's go day drinking a little bit.
But you know what? I think that's a thing that everyone has in them where they just have something they like to do and they do it too much.

It's kind of like

a loose tooth when you just want to play with it. It's just that the whole time.
Like video games, you're a big video game guy, right? Do you do that on the bus? Does that help kill the time?

Yeah, a lot of times. I mean, now, you know, the funny thing is, I used to read like crazy.
I used to play video games and now...

Oh, where are they?

Oh, they're here? That's so funny. I have PR people? I don't know.
Dude, it's so, if he gets killed.

This is just like, I'm sorry, we're going to have to learn how to edit this ourselves. I love how that's, that's the, that's the highest take.
If Mike goes down,

how are we going to get this out? That's where he comes. You go, Mike, I value you as a human.
As an editor, you're a god. No, that was funny.
I've never seen him leave the room. That's so weird.

You know, I have a brand new label, so I don't really know my people.

This is your first album with them, right? Yeah.

What is it like going on a new label? It's great.

Like, because they were like, it's kind of packed in here.

If you want, there's a TV and I don't know. This is kind of weird.

I like that they're like... All right, well, now the fun questions can't be asked.

No, but it is. So anyway, I got my dick in my hand.

Tell me about all that money you've kept hidden from the IRS.

No, but with a new label, do you feel like them trying like

that? Well, they don't.

So they...

Atlantic, I think it got to a point where everybody that I knew was gone and they make so much money off of my catalog of songs that they don't really have to care about the new stuff that I'm doing.

And so, when I made this deal with Universal Music, it was like, well, they have this record and they care about this record. Yeah.
So they're pushing it.

Did you,

when you're around, you were at Atlantic for a long time. Yeah, all the 30 years, except for now.
Really?

What is that breakup like? Are you like... Well, it doesn't matter.
It's because it's... It's all new.
Like when I was there, fucking Ahmed Ertigan was still walking around the building. That's crazy.

I did like a session at Sun Records with Ahmed Ertigan and Sam Phillips behind the board. Which those are Jerry Lee Lewis, like playing piano.

For those of people who don't know, Sun Records did like Jerry Lee Lewis, Johnny Cash,

Elvis Presley. Like those guys are like legends.

It's the spot. So like having like Ahmed in the building coming around.
By the way, I fucking inducted him into like a Hall of Fame.

I had dinner with him multiple times. Every time I met him, it was like he'd never seen me before.
It's really funny.

How you doing, young fella? He's like, I like your sound. And you go, we've done albums together.
And he goes, that's the crowd, man.

Don't put me in a home.

He's like, it's getting real please don't put me away please they want me to go away but when you tell atlantic so i go i went no i went through all these different people and then it was it came down to like brand new guy everybody else is gone uh we'd like to restructure your deal i i'm like i don't like i don't like that idea i like the deal and we come up with another solution where they i had just finished a record they paid for they just gave me the record great squashed my debt and was like you can go wherever you'd like so you had like a clean breakup yeah i've always i think everything that we hear outside of the music industry is always that it's like devilish and like

vindictive. And they're like, oh, you want to leave the record label? Well, I'll fuck you over.
But it sounds like they were like, I didn't have a good, good relationship.

And nobody like dangled me outside of a window like

getting suggested out of fucking. You go, dude, there's a hit on Rock Thomas.
They're like, Atlantic wants blood. That's, um, but it is great to hear.

You know, when you think of Matchbox 28, you know, you know, we're from the streets. You guys are dangerous.
You know that. Yeah.
Yeah. I'm telling you, 3 a.m., that's a call.

That's a call for gang members meet outside. And now I'm up in Westchester.

Yeah. I love it.
Your son's on tour with you. Yeah, he's playing guitar with me now.
How old is he? 27. That's awesome.
Yeah, it's the best ever. What he's...

And also, he's like, I'm like, like night three, we're in like Nashville and I'm like, hey, you know, we got a night off. I call him up.

I'm like, hey, me and the rest of the band, we're all going to go grab some drinks. And he's like, I don't know.
I'm a little tired. I think, you know, I want to rest up and kill it tomorrow.

And he's like, who is this? Yeah, you go, what are you talking about? I'm your father. You're going to get up.
You're going to get up. You're going to go drink.

You're going to come fucking party with us. And does he have now like you and your wife are on the bus? Is that like him going into his parents' house when he's on the tour?

Yeah, yeah, he's on the band bus. So he's like, but then also there's

a bam. There was another level.
It's not my wife's kid. Okay.
There was another level where like on the last six or seven shows, his band opened up. Okay, that's funny.

But they would like finish their gig. They would get in the fucking van to drive to the next gig.
And he would get into the band bus and be like, nope. That's so funny.

He goes, yeah, I'm not going to go in the van. I've got a bump.
Yeah, totally. Later, losers.

But that is, is there any like father-son moments that are like where you have friction on the road where you're like, no, you guys get into an argument? No, he's such a good kid.

I mean, it's really just a bunch of like, he really just wants to kill the gig. Like he's known this band.

My solo band's been around for the last 20 years. So he'd know them when he was seven.
He'd be on the road, you know, playing with these guys. And now he's.
one of them. That is.

And so it's, he is, for him, he just, he went to Berkeley College of Music. Oh, fuck.
He just wants to kill it. So that's all he thinks about.

What age did you, because I mean, I think one of the hardest positions to be in is to follow your father in the job that they did. You know, I don't know how to do it.

I never pushed it, but I always encouraged it. Okay, so you were like, was there a moment where you saw him have talent? Yeah, when he was like 10, he wanted a guitar.
So I gave him this guitar.

And then when he was 16, he was like, I want a Pro Tools, Rick. You want me to start recording? And I was like, oh, that's interesting.
You're like, you're going to be a rapper?

Whatever your thing is, whatever you want to do, you know? Yeah, he goes, I need lean. And I was always like, you need lean.

As soon as he graduated from

Berkeley, I was like, okay, here's the deal now. Don't get a backup plan.
Yeah. This is now you got to be in.
Yeah, just charge. I mean, also going to Berkeley School of Music is like.
Expensive.

Yeah, expensive. But also, like, you're fucking good at music.
Yeah, by the time you get out, it's not Juilliard. Juilliard, you got to be great to go in.

So what is it? In Berkeley, you have to be, like, you have to have a grasp of it. You got to be a pretty good to go in.
And Juilliard. If you do it right, when you get out, you're going to be great.

Juilliard, you got to be great going in. It's like New York school.
Like you got to be. It's like your parents pushed you into this in a fame.
I imagine I thought. Yeah, LaGuardia high school.

Yeah, I thought Berkeley was going to be like fame.

I thought I was going to go in there and people are going to be like dancing down the hall. Oh, there's a whole lesson today.
They sang it at me. And it's not, they all just look fucking.

They're all just like stressed running around with their elbow.

That is, I never...

The idea of a performance high school, I'm sure same way you grew up in Orlando, me growing up in Colorado, you'd be like, what do you mean performance high school?

Yeah, there's like the theater kids, but there's not just a whole high school for it. And I was like more of a theater.
Like I wasn't, I was in like one time I did theater.

I did chorus because I had this crush on this girl.

And that was where like the, the singing kind of started.

But it wasn't like

it wasn't fucking encouraged. Yeah.
You know, by anyone, I'm going to tell you right now, the bravest thing a teenage boy can do is join drama or chorus, but the rewards? Yeah. Bountiful.
Yeah.

Oh, my God. Play football? You're just going to have a bum shoulder like me.
I wasn't even good at football. And I certainly didn't get laid.

It's like, yeah, I was about to say, it's not like everybody in the team gets laid. All the drama kids get laid.
All of them. All of the band kids, all of the drama kids.
It is an orgy in high school.

And meanwhile, I'm playing football and I'm getting light CTE for nothing. Nothing.
You think they want to fuck a kid on the kickoff team? They're trying to fuck their quarterback.

It's like, I'm over here. I should have been in Romeo and Juliet.
Oh, man. I would have been one of the, I just would have been like one of the.

By the way,

whatever you were into, if you were young, beginning to figure out being gay kid, drama. Drama.
Oh, my God. Just if you are, listen, if you have no athletic ability, just go to drama.

It'll be better for your business, professional life. It'll be better for your personal life.
So I fucking like.

It was like, it was dick dark. So when I was really young, it would be like I was trying to learn how to play.

And then my mom would just like tell me that I had no talent, but then she would come home drunk with like some new guy and wake me up and make me like perform for him while she changed.

That's a a Dewey Community story. That is unbelievable.
That is fucking which. Because you'd be like, hey, get up.

And then after like leaving school, I would fucking,

once when I was in high school, there was this army band came by. Have you ever had that where they come by and they play like popular songs, but they're still wearing like their fatigue?

Yeah, but they do like modern songs. And they're like, you can do this if you join the army.
And so I had a moment where I went, I was going to join the army.

Like I quit school and I got my GED so that I could take the ASFAB test or whatever, you know, and I was like set up up to like, okay, if you show up at, you know, basic training, you can jump in.

It was literally like a group of people jumped out like within a month before they were in a band. They're like, hey, we're, you know, we're looking for a singer.

And I was like, oh, I want to try that. So you were going to go to the army.
Army, because it was the best option. Because, you know, you saw the commercials.
They do a good job.

And they recruit like a motherfucker for high schoolers. Oh, my God.
They're just all in true. They like act very interested in you.
You look dumb. Come here.
Yeah.

They would like, they look at your GPA. I'm positive.
Because I had a bad GPA and I was getting hounded by the Army. And the Marines, they were like, what do you got in the fall?

That was basically every call they had to be. I always tested.
And I was going to college and they're like,

I always tested really well.

But I wasn't always, I was the one who couldn't apply himself. Yeah.
You know, and so it would always be the teachers like, you know, you have so much potential. You're squandered.

You're a hey, hold back. Would they do that a lot? We're like, Rob, can I talk to you for five minutes?

I see that you're understanding the material. You're just not applying yourself.
And you're also, you're a little disruptive in class.

I will say, I do think that is a brilliant strategy by the American military to have a band come and play and go you guys like music you could if they would have came to my high school and gone you like doing psilocybin and smoking weed we got a program where we're gonna break your mind and you'd be like well now they do

the army now they're doing video games yeah oh you're doing video games man i oh my god dude we i would have

dude you'd be here right now oh my god i'd be in a little thing in arizona yeah wearing my army uniform with the joystick just absolutely you do oculus i heard i love oculus yeah you do i here's the thing though trips me out it's so fucking, like, lame.

I have Oculus, and I, and I play, like, three things on it. One is mini-golf.
It's great. There's like this killer mini-golf game.
I'm already on this. Talk about mini-golf.

And another one is power washing. Dude, okay.
Here's the deal. People try to shit on this.
People will try to shit on this. I know a lot of people that find

that video game incredibly risky. My son says he plays it like on his computer.
Sure. My buddy Dez plays it, and he'll be like,

We'll play this boxing game. And there was a time where I texted him.
He's like, Hold on, I got to finish power washing this helicopter. And I was like, What do you mean? I did the helicopter.
Yeah.

And he's like, You got to get, and then he shows me the video, and you're like, You're in it, and you're in it. Yeah.
And like, and it's got this little hum.

And there's, it's just, I'm just washing away my problems. It's so funny that we're turning manual labels.
Like, why don't I kill myself right here? This is what we're going to have to do with.

They go, and now the newest game, strawberry picking. And you go, it hurts my lower back, but I find it.
And my wife is like, our fucking deck could use some power.

Dude, I get the

step outside. Can you please do it in real life so we live in a cleaner place?

Living on a bus when you come back, like now that you're back, is there going to be a moment where you like,

because I've heard musicians say this before, that when they become too,

you almost got like sea legs. Feral.
Yeah.

You're too feral and like your sea legs.

You're on like dry dry land yeah my wife and i both like when we come back like when i was on the road without her it would be more the feral thing right like i would come home for like if i if i play in new york i base out of new york and i come home every night so like one night we're off and i'm sitting on the back porch with my wife and she we're just kind of sitting next to each other at night and i've got my arm around her and i'm having a cigarette and we're just talking about something and then

absentmindedly as soon as i'm done i take my cigarette and i just flick it across the yard she's like what the fuck are you doing

we own that yeah that's our gross you know like i just forgot where i was for a second.

I forgot where I was for a second. Yeah, there is a.
But both of us last night, like it was our first night sleeping at home in like over a month or so.

And we both would wake up and think we were on the bus. Yeah,

that's something that I think happens. He travels a ton.
I travel.

We travel a lot.

I still do the thing where if I'm at home for like, like I'll be at home for two weeks before the tour starts, when we go on the tour, I will wake up and be like, what? Yeah.

Like that first night, I'll be like,

but like a real fear, not like a joking fear. Awesome.
And then you're like, okay, I'm in that laugh.

My schedules are such that like for the first week or two at home at nine o'clock at night, I don't know why I'm fucking wired. That makes sense.
You know, because

that's got to be your noon. Yeah.
You got to be like

you're starting to peak and you're like, I'm feeling drunken. Like around seven, I'll be like, what's going on?

Also, I drink faster now. Like last night, we're just sitting there.
We're just watching TV and having dinner. Yeah.

And I'm like on my third glass of wine and we're not done with the, you know, and because it's just going down quicker. When I smoke weed on the road, it's like almost calculated.
Yeah.

Where I'll be like, all right, let me have like a hit before the shower so then I can just sit in the shower, do the show. I'm not going to get stoned.
Yeah.

But then I go about, I come out, I have a coffee, I get ready, I go do the show. When I'm at the show, I'm like, maybe smoke a little bit of a joint and then go on stage.

When I'm at home, I'm just like, she just hears the window slide open and she's like, for real? And I'm like, ha ha, what?

I had somebody ask me the other day,

I'm smoking a lot of weed. I had somebody ask me the other day if I still smoked weed.
And I was like, yeah, I've cut down, you know. And they're like, well, how much do you smoke now?

I was like, I mean, well, I smoke every day, but I've clearly got,

but I've cut down. I'm in my 40s, so I'm starting to buy like heart supplements that you are like, pair this with weed smoking.
And you're like, all right, maybe I got to cut down.

Are you at the point now, though, with like with every feeling that you're just like, oh, that's the one? I went and got scanned. Yeah.
Because I was having,

I had two too for insurance reasons. Okay, but I, on this podcast, Mark Marin was on this podcast, and he was like, yeah, you should go get like a calcium scan.

And I was like, I was trying to do that, but in New York, they said I was too young. Oh, yeah.
Because I'm 42. They're like, no, you have to be over 50 to do it.

And then I went and did it in Colorado. I'm like, at 53, the thing about it is like, I'm, I'm too old to die young.
Yes. You know what I mean?

So like, if I'm like, if you're in your 30s and you, like, you see, you know, so-and-so passes at 32 and you're like, oh, fucking God, that's a tragedy. Yeah.

You know, and then in your 40s, you're like, oh, and now in your 50s, I'm just like,

I immediately got to go see why they died.

I'm going drug, like drug abuse or cancer, drug abuser, cancer. Long battle, long battle, long battle.
Whenever it's like they just dropped on the spot, I'm like, oh, fuck that.

In between 50 and 60, you see someone dies and you go, well, what do you do? Collapse. Yeah.
And you're like, no, no, no, no. But then like

I get really healthy for a week. What would be your age, ideal age to clock out? I think for me, it's 75.
I think anywhere between that and 80 is probably a good spot. 75.

I mean, for the most part, my experience with it has been like, oh, everyone I've known is probably like, but like my mother, my stepmother, or my, my mother-in-law is

in her in her 70s and killing it. Yeah, my mom's Clive Davis is like, was 90 and would still, you know, was going for a while in his 80s really, really well.

Yeah, they, they go, it's almost like pitchers in baseball where you're like, the fastball drops off a little bit and they like maintain it. And then it just

climbs. My grandma was like strong as fuck till like 94 95 yeah and then it was just like when did you what age did you like with your grandmother what age was the communication just not around 95.

oh she started pretty good yeah she was really good we used to play cards and sit and talk and she was always really sharp and then around 95 she called me like and she wouldn't remember we had conversations which is she's 95 yeah you're like what are you mad about it but then one time she called me and she was like i fell and i was like what do you mean you fell and she was like i was just in the garage for 30 minutes.

And you're like,

you have a life alert. That is you, too.
But she was like, old people don't give a fuck. She was just like, yeah, then I just got up and you're like, you just dusted yourself off.

So my, my experience is so different. My grandmother, so in South Carolina, my grandmother owned, it was like a general store.
It was a very small tobacco, racist tobacco town in South Carolina.

And it was the little general store that every, that was like the hub of activity.

And then the house was attached to it. Yeah.
So she always like, she would bootleg liquor out from under the stairs. She sold weed.
When I was 11 years old, I could separate seeds from stems

and make dime bags

because I was making them up for the customers that would come through. Yeah.
And it was like always a place where like all the activity was happening.

Every Saturday night, there was somebody who was getting shot somewhere nearby. And how old were you? I was anywhere from like three to 10, 11, 12.
That is. Like during that time.

When you're around that kind of shady shit when you're seven and eight. Unbelievable.
Because it's not evil. It's not bad.
It's what you know.

It was, and then it was everybody, like you could drive to the skating rink when you were 12 or 13 because your parents would just let you have a car because you just riding dirt roads most of the places that you're going.

I mean, dude, imagine people doing that now. Because they would be like, I checked your GPS and you went a different route.
But you were like able just to drive.

I was telling my mom this story when I was back in Colorado two weeks ago. There used to be this like teen dance night at this club in Denver.

And my friends, we'd go, if we had Monday off school, we'd all go on Sunday nights. But me and my friend couldn't get in.
So we were 15 maybe.

And our friend was like, our friend who drove us there got in, threw me the keys of his car, and his dad's like big truck. And he's like, just wait in the truck until we come out.

So we're sitting there and I'm like, I'm not waiting for four fucking hours. You take the truck.
So I just took the truck. I'd never driven before.

And I drove from Denver to Aurora to go to the only movie theater that I knew. We didn't have smartphones or anything.
And I'm like, well, the only movie theater I know is like Seven Hills.

So we can go there and watch a movie. And then we drove back.
How did you, like, did, was there any thought that, like, the guy was going to come out early in the truck? Fuck him.

You left us out there. I was like, well, then when we get back, we'll get him.
The only thing I was worried about was getting pulled over. Dude, no phones.

That was, I remember, like, being overseas and like waking up in some stranger's apartment and then

somehow like finding my tour manager. Like, being a tour manager in the 90s.

Were there anything?

The hardest job in the world. Yeah.
So they would go find it. Dude, I mean, it was like almost famous moments.

Like, literally where, like, you'd figure it out and the bus would come up to wherever you were and you'd get on the bus.

So is there someone that has a story in like Sweden where they're like rob thomas slept on my couch last night yeah like from the 90s yeah they're like uh we went to go see matchbox 20 next thing i know we're waking up having coffee with rob thomas just like you just meet you'd meet a girl in a hotel and you'd wind up going back to her place and then you'd wake up and nobody was there like you'd wake up and like she's gone and her roommates are like you want some eggs

and you're like my tour manager is probably looking for you i don't know how would you reach out to me where's your hotel i don't know and it's and it's something in german and i don't really know the name of it how would they find you i don't don't remember.

Like, I would literally have to

figure out how to get back towards the hotel, especially like overseas, because

there's no bus or anything to do with. When it was on the road, usually I had a partner in crime.

It was like me and another band member would like leave the gig, walk right out the front door with like some people we met and just go to their house and like have some big party. Awesome.

And then we would always try, like the only good thing was you had to know. You had to know the pager number of your tour manager.
Like that was the key.

If you knew that by heart, then you could pretty much accomplish anything. We should go back to that.
Man, let's just

imagine this. Like, and I've been married for 27 years, so I wouldn't say this for my marriage now.

But could you imagine, like, when I'm younger and I was starting out, you go on the road, and you're just like, oh, I'm getting on a bus. I'll call you when I'm near a phone.
Yeah.

I can't imagine that. That's why no one relationships worked out.

And I'll have so much to say to you. Of course everyone doesn't like phones.
You're running out of stuff to say. There's nothing.
Yeah, my wife and I, like, I'm just like, we've been texting all day.

I can follow your day. Yeah.
I'll tell you how you're doing. I'll tell you exactly what you did.
I'm just texting about it. Yeah.
Yeah. I don't, I think there is a thing.

What I love about, um, this is like the, obviously the best relationship I've ever been in, but one of my favorite parts is there is no like,

okay, uh, call me when you get there or call me. It's, we just text like almost like I'm here, like in town.
Yeah. So it's, so when I come home, I could tell her everything that happened.

My wife and I text in the house.

Like we spend most of our mornings, like I wake up, I'll bring her some coffee and I'll like go work out or go you know the studio or be doing something in the house and she's upstairs doing stuff and we might not see each other till one and we're just kind of like texting each other yeah that's great their distance does make the heart grow fonder yeah if you if like people that are upping each other's butts you're like yeah i would hate this relationship i mean like now the reason why i'm married is because like now i'm gonna be gone and i'm not sure if we're gonna be together for the month and i'm in australia and that bums me out and that's why i'm married that's that's because it's not like i'm not looking forward to that second like getting away gonna have some fun you're like dude i'm gonna fuck who am i gonna hang with Yeah, I don't believe, like, I don't believe in like boys' night.

Like, I've, I'm, my life is a boys' night out. That should be a phase.
Yeah. When you're in your 20s and you're looking for someone, have boys' nights out.

When you're in your 30s, hey, if you're in your late 30s or 40s and you go through a divorce, have a boys' night out.

But the point is, you want to find someone that you're like, I like coming back to hang out with you. My question about phones to you is, how much has it affected music?

Like, how much has it affected your interaction with the audience? I mean, smartphones specifically. Yeah, there's a thing there, right?

There's a there's a physical barrier now between you and a lot of the fans sometimes, which is kind of a weird thing because everybody's because they're looking at you through a thing.

Yeah, I mean, thank God.

Like, there are certain times where 20 years later, I, I can go back on YouTube and like figure out what guitar we were using on what song when we used to play it, you know, that's it.

Like, or like, we used to do the cover, like, no, we used to do this and you pull it up, you know? That's awesome. Um, but I remember hearing, like, I remember reading it.

I'm not, it's not about the shows, it's about the fucking street. Yeah.
I mean, that's the thing.

Like, I remember being a kid and starting out in this business and, like, making some horrible mistakes, but then learning from them and moving on. Yeah.
You know what I mean?

Like, yeah, like getting into some fight in a bar and rolling out. Like, if that would have been everywhere.
It would have been. I mean, and also.

When I think about the Biebers of the world, like there's a, there's a sadness there of like, man, you know, you don't get time to make your own mistakes. To grow into it.
I think about that.

We talk about this all the time with stand-up, where it's like young comics now have to put up their stand-up immediately. Like they're doing it for a year and they're like, here's my jokes.

Dude, it gives me nausea to watch myself before year five. I'm like, what are you doing? What are you talking about? I don't want that up there.

My first, so they always, there's an old adage that like, if you make a record, your first record is the record that you have your whole life to make.

And then your second record is like your sophomore record. Sure.
But the band that I was in when I first got signed, we had this very litigious breakup.

And I was so fucking mad because I didn't know anything. And I signed away all the songs that I had written, I signed away to all of us, right? Yeah.

And so they're like, well, you know, you can't go anywhere with these songs and we're going to ba-da-da.

So within like six months before the first Matchbox record, I wrote that record, all except for one song. No, that was left over.
Out of what? Out of like frustration with the band?

I was like, you know what? You keep those songs. I don't fucking need them.
And the thing, the point is this.

And now they're haunted by those song for the rest of their lives. No, they tried to release them and they're not good songs.

Yeah, but I mean, like, it's funny that they had those songs and you're like, yeah, keep that. Watch this.
It's 3 a.m. I'm.
fucking you motherfuckers.

But like I when I listened to that earlier stuff I was like holy shit that would have never gotten me where I'm at now. Yeah.
That stuff is regional.

You know like when you hear something the best way to describe it is like oh that's regional. Yeah, it's also like

similarly what we're talking about there's there's benefits in failing. There's benefits in failing because you go that's not the way to do it.
Let me try it again.

And then this time it's fucking what you know me for or it's like way better. And I feel that way about stand-up.
I even feel bad because like I was doing a show.

i was doing joe list's show with like mark norman and louie and uh we're sitting there watching norman and uh i said something to louie and louis goes how long you've been doing this and i was like 20 years and he's like you don't know anything not till you're like 30 years in and you're like that's crazy yeah because i am like 20 years you were like patting yourself on the back

of your vet and then this guy goes no you don't even know and he's right right because there's stuff that you figure out that you go i wish i fucking knew this well especially like even more i think for you i mean writers in general sure but more for you because this is like a there's a real-time correlation between everything that you've learned and what you're about to say about it yeah you know i think there's i mean see i feel opposite i feel like with songwriting that's like such a place where you have to put real emotion that you're like it just lives in this jar you just like stand up you go i was kidding like if anyone's mad about it you go it's a fucking joke but songs are like i meant that shit i fucking meant that shit i think that's like why big j and i always used to joke around that we don't have the thing in us to be serious.

Yeah. To be like, I fucking love you.
Because any video doesn't go, I was kidding. I'm a fucking pussy.
I'm so scared. I'm so scared.
That's fucking great. Oh, dude.

There was a day where you came into Sirius XM and we were.

I ran into Joe on the street. He was having a cigarette outside of the show.
Oh, Big Jay? Yeah, when you guys were doing, and I was a fan of

the show. I never believed him.
Yeah. I never believed him.
I never heard you guys talking about it. Because I didn't believe him until right now and Rob telling me this.

I always thought Jay was with me i just saw him outside having a cigarette and i came over i was just like big i was like i'm a big fan of you guys yeah he was like rob thomas likes us i was like yeah sure jay you you know and then you're like oh but we were we were like we're always blown away i always love when you find out people

like what you do have you found someone that likes your shit that like obviously you collab with santana or whatever but has there been someone in music that has came up to you and you're like i mean all the time like you've heard my show in like like like nikki glazier came to to our show the other day.

Yeah. And like, and I'm just, I'm just like, holy shit.
And then the second time she came, I was just like, you're famous now. Look at you.
Yeah, look at you.

Host an award show. It's getting big.
But I think, like, has, was there been other musicians that have heard that?

Yeah, when Smooth first came out, I knew that it was going to be a hit because I was walking through, it was the Bellage at the time in LA. And

Jason from Metallica, when he was still Metallica,

came over and he's just like, dude, that fucking song rocks. And I was like, yeah.
Did that make you feel like oh

yeah because i mean that's like i mean dude you know my family's uh bay area family so santana was like yeah

70s and he's such a he's such a monster i mean yeah do you see him ever because he's all the time 76.

well i mean we talk like we talk all the time that's all like we send each other songs back and forth and like when we're working on new stuff we'll share it and and if we're both on the road we talk almost every night because we'll like get off the stage and be bored and just be like start texting each other so like comics yeah because that's what you do when we know we're on the road you're like hey you're in fucking Iowa City right now.

You're awake. Yeah.
What do you think? For real.

I have more confidence in calling my comedian friends at like midnight more than noon. Yep.
Because noon, I'm like, I don't even know. They could be traveling or sleeping.

But if I call them at midnight, I'm like, where are you at? Yeah, I know you're up. Or if I see them make an Instagram post, they'll be like, great show, Baltimore.

And you're like, this motherfucker's up. You're either up because you had a great show, are you just killing yourself because you didn't? Yeah.

Or you're outside smoking a joint and you're like, hey, I think weed's still like super illegal here.

So I just want to talk to someone as i walk around this empty business parking lot what's your uh favorite city to go to because i feel like you've you've been on the road for over 30 years so is there still cities i'm getting like

i get to the point now where i go to a city and i go i think i like this more like indianapolis yeah like i think i like you more than i did last time yeah i mean i i think it really goes because i'm a narcissist you know yeah to some degree to do that like you have to be a narcissist to some degree to be like oh i have thoughts and you need to fucking hear them.

It's absolutely me first.

You know when I knew I was a narcissist, when I had the realization, because I used to be so scared of flying on a plane. Sure.
And I used to think of the irony factor, right?

Like the first time, like if I was like, oh shit, I just got, I did Letterman for the first time. That would be, that would be ironic.
You're looking for your

Labamba theory. Right.
You're like, it's finally happening.

I realized that I was a narcissist because I wasn't thinking about the other 300 fucking people on the plane. And like, somehow they were just extras in my story.
Beautifully put.

And I'm going to tell you right now, this is how bad narcissist comedians are.

I've had conversations about this: of being on planes and going, well, yeah, if we die, they're going to mention you, not me.

Jim Gaffigan did that to me. Yeah.

I was exactly that's like we were on a plane. It was such comic brain route.
You're the headliner.

We were on a plane coming back, and it was like we had borrowed a private plane because we were doing this event. It was me, Kiefer Sutherland, and Jim Gaffigan, and

somebody else. And as we're on the plane, and when we hit turbulence, Gaffigan's like, nobody's going to mention me.

Yeah, the only way they would is if to make the headline about it. Like, you know, and then he's like, he's like, yeah, no laughing matter.
Keeper summoned Rob Thomas and comedian. Oh, fuck.

That's the one that would hurt everybody if you go, comedian. Like, Gaffigan's like, comedian if they're 15 specials.
Yeah, that's always where entertainers are.

That's why I don't think entertainers should ever give advice to people. Yeah.
Because we're so inside our own brains. They're like, I don't know how to help you.

I don't know. Maybe you can listen to something that I say and it'll help, but I'm not going to tell you.
That's my answer now, especially for younger generations.

Every time I've released a record over the last 20 years, it's been a different landscape and people are experiencing music differently and people are putting it out in different ways.

So when I talk to my son about his band, I'm like, I don't know that I can, I can talk to you about songwriting.

I can talk to you about intention when you do something musically, but when it comes to like releasing something, I don't know.

Have you seen anything in the music business that's been like almost cyclical, like come back around where you go, like, oh, singles were big when I started and now they're bigger again?

I mean, formats, I'm sure, but it's more kitsch, right? LPs. People are like, oh, I love my LPs or I like CDs again.
I'm not, you know.

But I wonder that because, like, I started in, you know, before I did comedy, I was like, I think open racism is coming back.

If you guys have seen that, I think a lot of crazy shit's coming back, but I also think, like, I used to work at like a rock radio station. That's right, where I started.
And it's in.

You should in Colorado? I started in Tucson at KFMA. Shout out KFMA Day.

But it was interesting because it was like that is now nostalgic. Like

all the alternative, like you're seeing young kids that have no idea wearing Nirvana shirts and shit. And you're like, oh, fuck.
All right. It's coming back around.

Kind of like the way the 70s did when we were growing up. Sure.
Became cool for us to like like shit from the 70s. Yeah, I think 90s, I mean, 90s is coming through in a really big way.

Would you ever do, I always, so here's my, I hate when celebrities do commercials, specifically like gambling ones or ai ones stuff that celebrities that i know are making a ton of money right i'm like you don't need this right the only time i feel good about it is when i go like

those nostalgia tours you know what i'm talking about where they're like early 2000 r b ones and you go or like rock bands have you guys ever been pitched on those we have we it's kind of a rule with us is like we don't we don't want to do it because i'm like well we're we're we were we were like we we would be on like the early 2000s that was like our our heyday right yeah who yeah who would you book that who would you book if you were to do one like an ultimate no like like a graduating class right third eye blind sick i mean all right i'm already buying a ticket and you're telling me back

bring it dude i'll bust out my like like we're like we've done tours with with us and the crows but like the crows came out before

like like i remember being like we were a young band doing counting crows covers like at colleges you know when we were playing dude i mean And Adam knows. Yeah.
He created a whole genre for dudes.

That's acoustic guitar. Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, you know what's funny, dude? I don't have an

idea of me with an adroit fucking. I'm going to fucking

Zoom call with Adam on the ride home today. No shit.
Yeah, that's so fucking funny. Yeah, dude.

He, I mean, what's funny about Counting Crows music is it's either super flirtatious or it's the saddest shit you've ever heard in your life. Totally.

You go, I'm going to do Long December and Make You Cry. And now he's, I don't know if you've heard any of the newer stuff, but it's like it's like those old Springsteen.

They're like 10 minutes long and they don't really have a verse and a chorus. They just meander into like these shits.
It's just about a guy losing a job. Yeah, yeah.
He's like, yeah, don't.

The guy on the street takes shoes and his feet and he puts them downstairs and he doesn't care. And he walks.
Yeah,

I'm ready for that version of Counting Crows. That's awesome.
Of like 10 minute long.

It's really fucking good. Yeah.

When's the next time, now that the solo album, you just finished that tour? Yeah, I'm going to Australia in

a couple of weeks, solo still so that's the thing about touring with you guys that i think is absolutely insane is we go thursday to sunday and we bitch like we're on the road you're gone a month two months yeah what's the longest you'll go out now like the matchbox last matchbox tour was almost like four months which is crazy how many times in those four months did you go to your house just uh one like three-week period when I was basing out of Jerseys and Pennsylvanias and things like that.

And then my wife would like, we try to not be apart more than two weeks. So she would come either meet the bus or, you know, maybe leave once we go to New York.

She'd jump on the bus and then ride for a while. So as long as I'm with her, I'm home.
It's not that big of a deal, you know, like to not be in my house.

Yeah, I would, I would, uh, I think if I ever went homeless, my, my, I would squat.

I'd look at who's on the road. If I ever went to the house, I'm going to get in the house and squat.
I would live on a bus probably. Really? It would be the greatest ever.

You think, so if you were not married, you could just live on that bus? I could see that happening. You could do that that comfortably? I think so.
Damn, I'm sure.

I could pull it over, like, you know, just pull up my friend's yards and be like yeah you got a tv you got a bathroom i could still like you know carlos has a great beach house in hawaii so boom i could take that could knock out a month right there that is sick that also sounds like a professional mooch that sounds like a great uh restaurant carlos's beach house yeah you go have you been to carlos's beach house

great it's the crab case oh my god they do i'm doing right now the crab case it's the ao do a ceviche yeah that'll make you shit um yeah i i've not gotten comfortable on the bus and i know a lot of comics that like do the bus thing the um sometimes i gotta poop in the middle of the night right well you can poop on the bus now

yeah dude listen ai let me tell you about the future

i'm a comics bus comics bus

you you can poop on your bus yeah they have to we're both looking at each other like i have told my bus driver my bus driver has a theory that you always actually could poop on buses but because normally a bus has like multiple like a lot of people on it sure they just don't they don't want to care

that's a lot of poop you know what i mean yeah and you don't want to be dave matthews and just dump it on a river in Chicago.

Like, it was Willie Nelson when I was hanging with Willie on his bus, and he was just talking about how he never gets off the bus.

Even when he gets home, he parks his bus outside and will do his laundry in his house, but stays on the bus most of the time.

That's so funny that it's like just thinking of going, Willie, get off that damn bus. And he's like, I ain't coming off my bus.
That's why he's been married five times.

Yeah, because he goes, if you want to see Willie, you're going to have to get on the bus. His weed, by the way.
I like that because he was talking about his dick, too.

Did you you get it? Talking about that Willie bus.

Willie Nelson's weed was, I don't know if you ever smoked it, the Willie's Reserve.

Dude, I turned Willie onto this weed back in the day when you still had to have a guy that you knew to get weed, like in California. We used this guy named

Cartoon. It doesn't matter.

So I was on the cover at high time, so I can't hide the fact that I was. That's sick.
That is a cool, that's the coolest magazine cover to be a part of.

We hung out with Willie for like two or three days. We were writing some music, and I called my guy, and the guy came over, but the caveat, like it is sometimes, we had to listen to his demo tape.

And it was like a fucking bad metal band. And all the songs were like, you know, Satan spawn and it was all like super,

like crazy, crazy metal. But then I get home like.
Well, real quick, though, can I just tell you, I have to interrupt right here.

It is so soothing to know that famous people have to sit through the weed dealer smokeable, listen to their story. It is the best thing that we have.
But you have to weigh worse.

It's the best part of fucking devil. It's the best part of legalization of weed.

you no longer have to pretend to have a friend. Yeah, go, oh, that's so cool.
I really want to hang out in your apartment, but I got to get out of here. When he played the demo, is it you and Willie?

Me and Willie. And then I fucking left for a minute.
I just left Willie in there for like five minutes.

But so he plays all this stuff, and then like two weeks later, I get home and I get a call on my phone. And it's like, and my message, and it's like, it's like, hey, Rob, it's Willie.
I'm in L.A.

and I need to get the number for that devil weed.

He goes, I want to sign that guy to my label. I'm just kidding.
I need his weed. His band sucks ass.
He did. He's like, I hope his weed's better than his music.
Oh, my God.

Dude, imagine the thought of playing a shitty song for you and Willie Nelson and then going like,

and I'm not, and did he, I mean, it was like six songs and he played them all. No, he didn't.
Were you getting high during it at least? Yeah. Okay.
Yeah.

I was going to say, if he was making you wait to smoke weed, I'd be like, this deal's over.

I don't miss that at all. Yeah.

The getting weed, when I moved to New York, I, especially when I moved to Queens, I learned the, oh, I have to go get in the back of a car that just pulled up and then drive around working a fan of it.

I want to get high, so I'm going to put my life in my own hands. And it'd just be a tinted out Cadillac.
And I'd get in and I'd be like, hey, I know Dan.

That was like my whole life when I was hitchhiking because that's the whole idea. Like three in the morning, it's like fucking weirdo roulette.

Would you, when you're hitchhiking and you're in Florida, one of the most dangerous places to hitchhike,

what weapon do you have on you? My wits. No way.
You're just going to fool them into letting you have your wits and expanding. Weren't you worried about like

crazy people picking you up?

I had a few different things. Like a guy that once was really convincing me how I needed to get into porn, but I had to do gay porn because that's where the real money was.
Yeah, dude.

And by the way, I bet he thought he was cooking. I bet he was like, close your eyes.
Imagine that guy.

That's the guy. And he goes,

I'm telling you, it's a good life.

And then I had one guy,

he pulled over and I put my stuff in the back of his truck and we're driving along and he was eerily quiet, kind of scary quiet. And he's got these golf clubs in the back.

So I'm trying to break up the silence. And I go, I was like, hey, so you, you play golf? And he looks over and I'll never forget this because he says it's fucking verbatim.
He goes, listen here, son.

I'm a gay person. Do you mind if we pull over up here and I suck you?

You go, no,

but I like that you're right to the point. Such a nice guy.
I was like, and I go, I go, no. And he goes, oh, no.
And he reaches over to kind of grab a grab. He starts like grab, really grabbing at me.

Yeah. And so I just started like messing with the gear shift as we're driving on the road.
Yeah. Trucks, you know, starts.

And so then I jumped out, I got my, my bag, and he just drove off. Yeah, and he goes, oh, for one today.
Another one down. Yeah.
He's like, hey, you know what?

You're going to lose some worms if you're going fishing. You miss 100% of the shots.
Yeah, that's what he thinks. He goes,

I don't know. You get three out of 10, you're a Hall of Famer in baseball.
Yeah, that is wild.

I like, there is, you didn't think about like the direct approach of just going, i'm a gay man i'd like to pull over here and i'm gonna suck you i'm gonna suck you is so funny yeah that's yeah i'm gonna suck you there's something very polite about it yeah it's the a if you don't mind yeah it wasn't if you don't mind if you're not busy yeah i know you're busy nothing going on my mouth you're a dick right now

and then we don't worry about golf we don't talk about golf in this club we only talk about gay blowjobs that's really funny no golf talk only gay sucking in here was there ever a moment in hitchhiking what was your last hitchhike do you remember remember?

I was like 30. No.

Yeah. Your last week just to get home.
I don't remember the last one. I think it was like low.
It was fun. It was me and my buddy.

We were hitchhiking from one part in Florida to another part in Florida, but we met up with like a car full of these girls that drove us to this party and we hung out there to like 10 in the morning the next morning.

And then they kind of drove us back and dropped us back off. And it was just the greatest story of all time.
This is nice. So you go, I'm going to leave on a win.
Yeah. That's the best way to do it.

Hitchhikers, if you're watching this, leave on a win. Don't get sucked.
Don't get sucked and leave on a win and leave on a win. You're doing the Australia tour.
Where after that?

So then I'm going to come home. A bunch of like one-off stuff.
Next year, we're starting the Matchbox 2030th anniversary. So we'll start like maybe some festivals.
That'll be fucking big.

Not 90s festivals. No, dude.
Don't do them. Don't try to book them on that.

We want to be like, we'd rather be, our thing is we'd rather be like at one o'clock in the afternoon in a festival that we would want to go see than be the headliner of like a festival that we don't want to be at that's my my thing is you guys are such a successful band that i'm talking about when i see bands from the 90s that i like maybe think what have like one or two hits and i see them on that thing my thought is never i go get paid it's a good yeah i mean i like that there's a lot i think those festivals exist for a reason same way uh cruise ship comedians yeah i go fucking get paid i used to feel that way about corporate gigs like i thought corporate gigs were kind of lame yeah but then to me it's it's a very honest way to make a buck you play music, someone pays you to play music.

That's kind of what I do.

Yeah, there are, I think there are, I think there should be like a consciousness of how well you're like, my problem is the guys that are doing so well taking checks that you go, well, I know you don't need that.

And that makes me feel gross as a fan.

But when there's guys that you're like, like what I'm talking about, guys you haven't heard since like 97, you go, fuck you. Yeah.
Go get that. I hope you're all right.

That's how I feel about commercials. When I see songs on it, I go, get them that fucking shit.

When we were coming up in the 90s, like commercials were the, it was the biggest no-no you don't do any ads you don't do anything i'm fascinated with this subject because you're right it was like selling out was a gross thing there was rem would never do that nirvana would never do that you would never give it to people go by that like what would these bands would never do that but then

when things started to take a turn in the traditional sense of the music business it was only bands like death cap for cutie and wilco and those bands that were doing these commercials all of a sudden they were like the coolest of all bands they were doing the commercials because they weren't making arena money yeah they were doing smaller ventures.

They had integrity and they were like, you know, playing. They had a small group of people that cared about them a lot.

But isn't that funny though that they were like so focused on having integrity and being small that they end up doing the most sellout thing, which is like giving it to a Ford truck? Yeah.

Where it's like,

Ford Ram will follow you into the darkness. And it's like Death Cap for Cutie playing.
And you're like, this fucking, this is fucking wild. You're like, I didn't think this is going to be a thing.

Because I have like a small theory that I I think

rock music has been damaged by truck commercials.

Did it start with Bob Seeger and like a rock? He kind of. I mean, that's the first one that comes to mind.

So I got into a big fight about that with Willie Nelson, of all people that were talking about. We were just talking about, and I was like, young, super idealist.

And just like, you don't fucking, you know, you don't do this. You don't, if you're not an actor, you don't.
And Willie's like, well, I've been in like seven movies, Rob. And I'm like, okay, not you.

I mean, I'm doing that. I do that all the time with Kami.
I go, you don't do that. All right.
Well, Well, you did it, but that's, I like you. I like that.
The way you did it, though, is right. Yeah.

But

my buddy Brendan Sagalow goes on the road with me, and we'll be driving somewhere, and I'll have my phone, so I'll be playing my music, and it'll be a rock song.

And one time he went, it just all sounds like truck commercials now. So now, whenever a rock song comes on, without a habit of ours is going like, with the new F-150, you got tow capacity up to 35.

You're not wrong.

There was a hint the other day, there there was a commercial on the Google Dolls where it was for a car commercial. Sure.

And I was, there's a half of me that was just like, oh man, I can't believe it. And the other half is like me, I can't believe I didn't get that commercial.

That's the same thing about the plane going down. It's the same thing about the plane going down.
That narcissism of like,

why didn't Ford want my song?

I don't want to do it, but I want them to want me. Yeah, you go, I don't know.
I think it would be pretty sick to have a Hemi with the... Yeah, I would want that.

That's very funny.

That's also like, it feels good to know that everybody feels that way. Yeah.

Because I think what sucks the most is when you think you're the only one that thinks that way and then you think there's something wrong with you and you're like, no, no, no.

I mean, right down the street, somebody feels like that. I mean,

whatever like inner office politics somewhere, like, people are getting, it's the same thing. It's the same thing.

There's a certain level of, you know, of this, there's a hierarchy and there's a jealousy. Yeah.
And there's a, you know.

You can work at a company where you are doing great work and you're doing it the right way.

And then you're going to watch a complete sociopath who cares nothing about the quality of work, but knows how to like network go up.

and then you go fuck and you go that's the entertainment industry brother yeah there's people willing it is it's just a way will be willing to cut the back of your knees to get ahead it's not called show friends

and you print that

um the new album all night day out now rob you're the fucking man so

who can believe you said yes to doing this podcast can i tell you this by the way i i drove straight through on the bus from LA to here and only did one stop because I had to get back in time to be able to do this podcast.

And I was like, dude, whatever I got to fucking do, I'll make it work because I'm such a fan. Dude, thank you.
I mean, I'm a comedy nerd. Yeah.
Like, you blew my mind that you loved the bonfire.

And I can't tell you how much that meant because when we found out that you heard us doing that thing where we were going, I think we did for like 30 minutes, we're going, Give me a hobby. Yeah,

you did. It was hilarious.

It was fucking hilarious.

But how the fact that two stoners smoked a joint outside,

Smooth was playing in the lobby, and that's why we were doing it to make each other laugh. The fact that you heard that and found it funny, both Jay and I were like, Rob Thomas is the fucking man.

Well, I mean, I like that was like you, I fucking think Jay, his whole bit about his daughter's Bush is one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my entire life.

I'm telling you right now, Big Jay Okerson is

Ernest Hemingway of pussy jokes, but not only that, he's one of the funniest human beings of all time. So the fact that you heard our silliness and were like, oh, no, that's fun as shit.

You're like, oh, that's the best. No, it was, I really was, I wanted to do anything I could to be here, man, because I'm a fan of your podcast.
I'm a fan of your comedy. You're the man.

Rob Thomas, this is just me saying Rob Thomas is the man. Check out the new album, All Night Day.
And yeah, dude, I want to come out and see shows. Let's go.
Yeah, hell yeah.

I want to get high with Rob Thomas.