99: Feral from the Road with Rob Thomas | Soder Podcast | EP 97

Golden Retriever of Comedy Tour is officially upon us.

September 25th, Los Angeles, the United Theater.

September 26th, the Moore Theater in Seattle.

And then, thank you, Portland.

You're sold out.

But I love you.

And, you know, there might be a wait list.

But then we got Tucson at the Rialto.

October 3rd, the Paramount Theater in Denver.

Close to sold out, October 4th.

Dansoder.com.

Go there for tickets.

Do not go to to Google.

For the love of God, do not go to Google.

Go to dansoter.com.

It's really fun.

I'm bringing a lot of very funny people with me on this tour.

And I think you guys will have a good time.

I really think you do.

Myrtle will not be there, but she'll be there in spirit.

So, danso.com for tickets, Golden Tree of Comedy tour.

Happening now.

That was like, and that was, I guess, like Paul Simon went to school there and Cindy Lauper went to school.

Yeah, Queens has got everybody.

yeah queens has got a far new york city because you're from orlando right grew up in florida south carolina yeah then orlando yeah it's always like when you come to when you're in new york and you hear about everyone that went to the high school of people you're like my high school sucked yeah i know but also like in general like i grew up like when i was a kid i would watch sesame street right sure but like

They would always cut away like from Sesame Street to those like those filmed moments that were like all these like inner city school kids

with New York accents yeah yeah you know would they be like I don't know about that girl it sounded like a plumber you know those fucking kids were like they like they were picking up like the like the Wall Street Journal and a coffee on their way on their way to school well Manhattan kids New York kids I feel like they scare the shit out of me yeah they age at five times the rate I see them and so I'm like in the mornings when I have to do stuff in the city and I see them like going to school like unattended yeah just like six 11 year olds that are from New York City will make me very cautious and it's even worse if they have like a school uniform

because then they really look organized Yeah, they're like, I know the Bible.

I know what rules to break.

And I'm going to, teenagers in New York City are scarier than teenagers anywhere else.

And teenagers everywhere are scary.

Everywhere teenagers are scary because they have, they still have child brains and their bodies are blowing up at a rate that they're just like,

and their ability to take like from thought to action is like that.

It's like nothing.

You know when you know when you turn on a TV and someone has left the volume too high?

And it just, that's what a teenager is.

It's just like, that's

an embodied spirit yeah it's just like their whole life they're just like the volumes you haven't seen what was the what was the stiller movie with uh was it greenberg which one noah sworts movie the greenberg where he was he was like this neurotic uh guy living in his sister's house but he had this moment where he just he's doing drugs with all these these teenagers and these rich teenagers and he's just like you you guys scare the shit out of me he's like one day i'm gonna have to like be up against a job with one of you guys dude they're new york that's why new york kids can start businesses like when you meet people from new York, by the time they're 30, they're like, well, I have my first business by like 22.

It's like, well, yeah, you were also in rehab by the time you were 12.

Yeah.

That was when I met Manhattan kids when I started waiting tables in New York.

You'd meet people who be like, I grew up in the city.

And you're like, what's that like?

And they're like, it's fun.

You know, you're doing Coke by 11.

Yeah.

And you're like, what the fuck?

You're just doing yak

and like still watching Power Rangers.

Yeah, I was like, that wasn't Orlando.

Well, Orlando is like...

Orlando has its own different kind of, I think every place has its own trouble.

Florida's got like Florida is that like, especially central Florida.

Yeah.

There's no discernible culture of its own.

Yeah.

Right.

It's training in nature.

Yeah.

So it's fast food, it's mini-malls.

And it's tourism is like the driving thing.

Rainforest cafe.

Yeah.

That's what I think about.

Margaritaville.

Yeah.

I just think about restaurants that force the beach on you.

That's why I'm amazed at like people that come from like Orlando and then they come to New York and they go to fucking Olive Garden.

Yeah, you're like, what are you doing?

Yeah.

You just break the cycle.

Break the traumatic cycle.

I'm the same way.

I'm from Colorado.

I'm from Aurora, which was mini malls, suburbs, and all that stuff.

And you come to New York and you're like, this has been a restaurant for like 80 years.

I'm amazed when I see a new restaurant.

When I see a new anything in Manhattan, like if you see like a new nail salon as you're drive, and you're just like, good for you.

Yeah.

Good for you.

You're going to fail miserably, but good for you.

I don't know if you feel about this, about performing, but when people are like, how do you go up there and do stand-up?

Or like, how do you go up there and do you go, how do you start a small business?

Yeah.

I can go tell dick jokes to a hundred people easy.

I cannot

file taxes and fucking get the permits.

Once you've figured out, like in anything in entertainment, how to make a living out of it,

the individual efforts, usually the stakes are fucking low.

Yeah.

I mean, they're really low.

Like if you, if you bomb, if I have a bad night, you'll pick them up next time.

It's probably going to be okay.

You'll, you'll, I don't know how you are, but I will like,

and no one notices yeah no one not you like i'll have a bad show and i'll be like that sucked and people be like great and and and it used to be when i first started doing stand-up i'd be like shut the fuck up right and then with another therapy i was like oh that is just me i just feel you always get like oh shit if you liked that oh imagine if you saw me when i was good

you would you would shit yeah

out of your ears and you would blow me right here

now is there what is bombing for a musician like because i would say

for the last

it's it's been like over 20 years now, you've had a great fan base.

30 years with Matchbox.

So 30 years.

Yeah, and 20 years solo.

Yeah.

So you have a fan base.

Yeah.

So like

I just got off tour like Saturday.

Oh shit.

And

we played L.A.

and I, well, I took the bus back because my wife and I stay on the bus.

So like we just got the bus yesterday back to my house, like pulled the bus up.

I unloaded the bus.

Do you finish that early tonight?

Home or bus?

Because you're on the bus somewhere.

A little of both.

I mean, because our bus is swank, right?

Because it's a whole back bedroom.

It's a one, you know, yeah i got my wife on there i wrote with burt kreischer on his tour i imagine it's like that yeah his he had a whole bedroom and yeah and then the other bunks were awful big condo bunks like the nice nice size bunks i mean it's it's really easy and there's something about that motion of the bus that really just can lull you right to sleep i've said this before but i know this is a dark thought i can't sleep on buses because i hear the tread of like this the thing and it and i look too much like cliff burton so i'm like afraid of a bus accident dude all right I don't want to die.

On the last Matchbox tour, our guitar player, my best friend Paul, we didn't tell him this until the tour was over, but he was on the bus that Scott Wiland died on.

No.

No, you can't.

Yeah, that's like anybody that believes in it.

That's a great job.

You didn't say that.

We all wait until the very last day.

Oh, my God.

By the way,

cool fact.

Did you feel it?

Pop up, Morgan.

Like, dude, that would be, if you told me that, the similar thing happened to, I mean, not with Scott Wiland.

I I wasn't like, this is the bus.

It's got to be a crazy thing to say to someone.

FYI, this is where Scott Weiland died.

My fiancé and I were visiting my grandma, and we had to sleep in this guest room, and we just couldn't sleep in it.

It was really hot, and she like wouldn't put on the AC at night.

And finally, on the last night, I was like, well, this was the room my dad and my aunt died in.

And she was like, you, what the fuck?

She was like.

And I did the same thing you did to your guitar player.

I was like, I don't want to tell you to the last day.

By the way.

Yeah, she's like, well, we're never sleeping in here again.

This is with your girlfriend?

girlfriend this is my fiancé

you guys were in that room we did not have sex okay i there was no chance of having any sex my grandma's townhouse was i would have had to have been 13 year old horny your grandma's like famous like through your stand-up she's basically famous she's dead now and she never watched my stand-up oh really she has no she was such a central part of so much of it yeah

she was in she's gonna be in the last hour it's about her dying oh is one of the jokes how when did she pass away by the way a year ago oh i'm sorry i know you guys are really close though yeah we were.

The last couple of years got crazy.

When the finances started getting involved.

Oh, yeah.

You're from Florida.

You understand that?

Yeah.

When you start getting finances involved, and I have finances.

Which is, yeah.

This is where

game changer.

This is where it is.

This is a game changer.

This is inviting the vampire into the house, and you don't realize who's going to move which way.

Oh, man.

So we were, I loved my grandma, but it was when she died, I was like.

Good.

Yeah.

I was like, rotten piss.

Rotten piss, man.

I'll see you later.

It was one of those calls where you go,

well, it was really funny.

The day I found out my grandma died was

the day after Shane hosted SNL for the first time.

And he was over here just like eating lunch.

And we're just like talking.

And I get a call and I go, okay.

All right.

I just go back.

And I go, my grandma's dead.

And everyone's like, the fuck?

But I sat down.

I was like, anyways,

like that sandwich?

I was like, when my mom died,

we had a problematic thing.

Okay.

And it was, I was devastated.

I mean, like, how old are you?

This was 20 years ago, man.

Okay.

It was, I have to, it was the day that Anna Nicole Smith died.

Damn.

God took two angels that day.

Don't you know it?

Don't you know it?

They were in line together.

Yeah.

She's like, oh, yeah, I'm Anna Nicole Smith.

Half of the liquor industry went, oh,

your profits are fucking, they're going down.

What's going on?

February 8th, 7th.

February 8th, 07th.

Okay.

So that was when my mom passed.

But

the guilt that I carried was about how much easier I knew that my life was about to come.

That's the thing no one tells you about death is that you go, one less phone call to make.

Yeah.

I mean, I was at the point where I was, I should, this is, I would be like, my mom lived in Florida and so did my, my wife's family.

Sure.

And I would like go visit my wife's family on Thanksgiving and then like go out to a cul-de-sac somewhere and call my mom and be like, I'm sorry, I couldn't make it.

Oh, I'm in the Alps.

Yeah.

Like,

it's like trying to make noise.

I would do that with my grandma.

I would go to San Francisco and do shows and like

go to 49ers games.

And then my grandma would be like, and then I'd fly back to New York.

And my grandma was maybe, she was like two hours north in San Francisco.

She'd be like, how was your weekend?

You're like,

yeah.

So you can justify two hours.

I mean, like.

I'm saying I think there isn't.

I think it could be across the street and I wouldn't have done that.

And you still would, yeah.

Because it's heavy.

Families always like.

It's, it's so, as you get older, I can't imagine, I mean, I imagine it's for everybody.

I think it is.

It's a human.

It doesn't come with, you know, I mean, it does, like you said, finances add another level of something

because you have something

and you understand not having it, right?

Because none of us came from it.

I think it's the closest you and I will ever feel to having fake breasts.

Yeah.

Where you just like, all of a sudden people are like, what are you doing?

Like, I have a small sense of what it's like to be a really hot girl by yourself.

When you get fucking systems and they go, what are you fucking doing?

Because you got under there.

I'm getting cat called by my family.

Like, hey, hey, we rich.

Hey, sweet tits you watch your shake it over here and you're like stop it you were treating me different when i was poor but yeah you're right i think it changes when you get older and everything also you know that saying like you can't choose your family it that's not true until you get older you go a thousand percent you can you go i can absolutely i got

i i talked to my sister and and all and like her family sure i i have family i have no idea who the hell they are i haven't seen them since i was eight Okay, is that was there like a cutoff for people to be like, well, you weren't there when I was a struggling songwriter.

Even more than that, like, so me and my, me and my father, we have a weird, he, he, I pay for him to be, he's an assisted living in South Carolina.

Great.

But he, me and him, me and my mom, they, they had their own fucking, you know, explosions, right?

Yeah.

That I was in the aftermath of.

And because of that, like, I always was mad at my mom because she was drunk and angry and violent.

And I was mad at my dad because he was passive.

And he would choose to not see me and not spend time with me to not have to deal with my mom.

That's a fucking thing.

So by the time I was 17, I was hitchhiking around the South.

I was living in my friends' cars.

I was like fucking, you know, sleeping on park benches.

And so when I started to do well and my dad started to show back up, it wasn't about, oh, you want me now that I have money.

It was like.

By the time you won a relationship, I had already become self-sufficient.

Sure.

I didn't, I like calling you on my birthday or calling you on a birthday or calling you on a holiday.

That was not a part of my thing now.

Yeah.

And it's my wife's parents that are my family now.

Yeah, that's that's a thing that people don't understand is you learn how to like kind of

cauterize a wound.

Yeah.

And then you go, well, what's the point of opening it back up?

Without a doubt.

It took so much work for me to shut you the fuck off.

Yeah.

And I think, man, there's like a lot of people that do the opposite where they go, I know it hurts, but I have to because it's my family.

And you want to tell those people, like, you don't, though.

You don't have to.

And your peace is actually you getting them out of your life.

If someone causes a lot of drama, I've never understood that.

I have friends that

i have friends that have mutual friends that are very chaotic and i'm like

why do you hang out that guy oh my god you're like oh yeah he's just my friend and you're like but i also have friends that are chaotic that i can take their chaos yeah and other people can't it's like so i think it's like uh it's like you know there's those movies where it's like they're like they're kind of like like gangster movies and then there's always the one wild card that like no matter what you know he's like they're like you know okay we're gonna keep you cool he's like what why did you bring the gun i got the gun just in case i got the gun he's wingo in the heat oh he shot the guy in the head because he was like he was looking at me.

Totally.

And like you have friends like that.

What the fuck?

Yeah.

That was, I always have had a friend like that who might haul off and shoot the teller if we robbed a bank.

And you're like, no, but for some reason, that's comforting to me.

Sure.

And some people can't take it.

And I, and I'm always like, I'm always.

blown away by the people who know they can't take it and still put up is it a good is it okay is it a good maybe there's a there's a line like i i i i have a drinking problem in that i drink too much shout out but who would like but Have you had the stuff?

If you have.

You want to drink all of it.

If you keep friends in your life that like wake up drinking, you're like, well, at least I don't wake up drinking.

Dude, I mean, that was, you know, I talk about drinking a lot on this, but it was for me being like, I thought I was doing it the better way than my dad did it.

Yeah.

Because my dad was like, you know, ruined his life being an alcoholic.

Same with my mom.

That's the thing.

Like, I'm like, well, I don't have that flask.

And that's exactly.

I'm not, you know, slipping it into my morning orange juice.

And so therefore.

It just took one person going, well, you drink like pretty much the same.

And you go,

fuck.

I think Amy Schumer once said, she, she said, like, she goes, oh, you know, I drink too much.

Like, like, yesterday was the first day that I didn't drink and I drank.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Me and Joe List used to have a thing where we would take Sunday off drinking.

And then when we met up on Monday, we'd be like, look at us.

Yeah.

Sober.

Pat yourself in the back.

Yeah, we go.

Let's go day drinking a little bit.

But you know what?

I think that's a thing that everyone has in them where they just have something they like to do and they do it too much.

It's kind of like

a loose tooth when you just want to play with it.

It's just that the whole time.

Like video games.

You're a big video game guy, right?

Do you do that on the bus?

Does that help kill the time?

Yeah, a lot of times.

I mean, now, you know, the funny thing is, I used to read like crazy.

I used to play video games and now...

Oh, where are they?

Oh, they're here?

That's so funny.

I have PR people?

I don't know.

Dude, it's so, if he gets killed.

Yeah,

this is just like, I'm sorry.

We're going to have to learn how to edit this ourselves.

I love how that's, that's the, that's the highest take.

If Mike goes down,

how are we going to get this out?

That's where he comes.

You go, Mike, I value you as a human.

As an editor, you're a god.

No, that was funny.

I've never seen him leave the room.

That's so weird.

You know, I have a brand new label, so I don't really know my people.

This is your first album with them, right?

Yeah.

What is it like going on a new label?

It's great.

Like, because they were like, it's kind of packed in here.

Who are you?

If you want, there's a TV and I don't know.

This is kind of weird.

I like that they're like...

All right, well, now the fun questions can't be asked.

No, but it is.

So anyway, I got my dick in my hand.

Tell me about all that money you've kept hidden from the IRS.

No, but with a new label, do you feel like them trying like

that?

Well, they don't.

So they...

Atlantic, I think it got to a point where everybody that I knew was gone and they make so much money off of my catalog of songs that they don't really have to care about the new stuff that I'm doing.

And so when I made this deal with Universal Music, it was like, well, they have this record and they care about this record.

Yeah.

You know, they're pushing it.

Did you,

when you're around, you were in Atlantic for a long time.

Yeah, all the 30 years, except for now.

Really?

Yeah.

What is that breakup like?

Are you like...

Well, it doesn't matter.

It's because it's...

It's all new.

Like when I was there, fucking Ahmed Ertigan was still walking around the building.

That's crazy.

I did like a session at Sun Records with Ahmed Ertigan and Sam Phillips behind the board.

Which those are Jerry Lee Lewis, like playing piano.

For those of people who don't know, Sun Records did like Jerry Lee Lewis, Johnny Cash,

Elvis Presley.

Like those guys are like legends.

It's the spot.

So like having like Ahmed in the building coming around.

By the way, I fucking inducted him into like a Hall of Fame.

I had dinner with him multiple times.

Every time I met him, it was like he'd never seen me back.

It's really funny.

How you doing, young fella?

He's like, I like your sound.

And you go, we've done albums together.

And he goes, that's the crowd, man.

Don't put me in a home.

He's like, it's getting real please don't put me away please they want me to go away but when you tell atlantic so i go i went no i went through all these different people and then it was it came down to like brand new guy everybody else is gone uh we'd like to restructure your deal i i'm like i don't like i don't like that idea i like the deal and we come up with another solution where they i had just finished a record they paid for they just gave me the record great squashed my debt and was like you can go wherever you'd like so you had like a clean breakup yeah i've always i think everything that we hear outside of the music industry is always that it's like devilish and like

vindictive.

And they're like, oh, you want to leave the record label?

Well, I'll fuck you over.

But it sounds like they were like, I didn't have a good, good relationship.

And nobody like dangled me outside of a window like

you get suggested out of fucking.

You go, dude, there's a hit on Rock Thomas.

They're like, Atlantic wants blood.

That's, um, but it is great to hear that.

You know, when you think of Matchbox 28, you know, you know, we're from the streets.

You guys are dangerous.

You know that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm telling you, 3 a.m., that's a call.

That's a call for gang members to meet outside.

And now I'm up in Westchester.

Yeah.

I love it.

Your son's on tour with you.

Yeah, he's playing guitar with me now.

How old is he?

27.

That's awesome.

Yeah, it's the best ever.

What is...

And also, he's like, I'm like, like night three, we're in like Nashville and I'm like, hey, you know, we got a night off.

I call him up.

I'm like, hey, me and the rest of the band, we're all going to go grab some drinks.

And he's like, I don't know.

I'm a little tired.

I think, you know, I want to rest up and kill it tomorrow.

And he's like, who is this?

Yeah, you go, what are you talking about?

I'm your father.

You're going to get up.

You're going to get up.

You're going to go drink.

You're going to come fucking party with us.

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And does he have...

Now, like, you and your wife are on the bus.

Is that like him going into his parents' house when he's on the tour?

Yeah, yeah, he's on the band bus.

So he's like, but then also there's

a bam!

There was another level.

It's not, it's not my wife's kid.

Okay.

There was another level where like on the last six or seven shows, his band opened up.

Okay, that's fun.

But they would like finish their gig.

They would get in the fucking van to drive to the next gig.

And he would get in the band bus and be like, nope.

That's so funny.

He goes, yeah, I'm not going to go in the van.

I've got a bump.

Yeah, totally.

Later, losers.

But that is, is there any like father-son moments that are like where you have friction on the road where you're like, no, you guys get into an argument?

No, he's such a good kid.

I mean, it's really just a bunch of like, he really just wants to kill the gig.

Like he's known this band.

My solo band's been around for the last 20 years.

So he'd know them when he was seven.

He'd be on the road, you know, playing with these guys.

And now he's one of them.

That is.

And so it's, he is for him, he just, he went to Berkeley College of Music.

Oh, fuck.

He just wants to kill it.

So that's all he thinks about.

What age did you, because I mean, I think one of the hardest positions to be in is to follow your father in the job that they did.

You know, I don't know how to do it.

I never encouraged it.

I never pushed it, but I I always encouraged it.

Okay, so you were like, was there a moment where you saw him have talent?

Yeah, when he was like 10, he wanted a guitar.

So I gave him this guitar.

And then when he was 16, he was like, I want a Pro Tools Rig.

You want me to start recording?

And I was like, oh, that's interesting.

You're like, you're going to be a rapper?

Whatever your thing is, whatever you want to do.

Yeah, he goes, I need lean.

And I was always,

as soon as he graduated from

Berkeley, I was like, okay, here's the deal now.

Don't get a backup plan.

Yeah.

This is now you got to be in.

Yeah, just chart.

I mean, mean also going to berkeley school in music is like expensive yeah expensive but also like you're good at music yeah by the time you get out it's not juilliard juilliard you got to be great to go in what is so what is berkeley you have to be like you have to have a grasp of it you got to be a pretty good to go in and july

do it right when you get out you're going to be great juilliard you got to be great going in it's like new york school like you got to be it's like your parents push yeah it's like fame i imagine i thought yeah lookard at high school yeah i thought berkeley was gonna be like fame like i thought i thought i was gonna go in there and people are going to be like dancing down the hall.

Oh, there were a whole lesson today.

They sang it at me.

They're all just like stressed running around with their elbow.

That is, I never,

the idea of a performance high school, I'm sure, same way you grew up in Orlando, me growing up in Colorado, you'd be like, what do you mean performance high school?

Yeah, there's like the theater kids.

Yeah.

But there's not just a whole high school for it.

And I was like more of a theater.

Like I wasn't, I was in like one time I did theater.

I did chorus because I had this crush on this girl.

And that was where like the singing kind of started.

But it wasn't like...

Look how that worked out.

It wasn't fucking encouraged.

Yeah.

You know, by anyone.

I'm going to tell you right now, the bravest thing a teenage boy can do is join drama or chorus, but the rewards?

Yeah.

Bountiful.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Play football?

You're just going to have a bum shoulder like me.

I wasn't even good at football.

And I certainly didn't get laughed.

Yeah, I was about to say, it's not like everybody in the team gets laid.

All the drama kids get laid.

All of them.

All of the band kids, all of the drama kids.

It is an orgy in high school.

And meanwhile, I'm playing football and I'm getting light CTE for nothing.

Nothing.

You think they want to fuck a kid on the kickoff team?

They're trying to fuck the quarterback.

It's like, I'm over here.

I should have been in Romeo and Juliet.

Oh, man.

I would have been one of the, I just would have been like one of the.

By the way.

Whatever you were playing,

whatever you were into, if you were young, beginning to figure out being a gay kid, drama.

Drama.

Oh, my God.

Just if you are, listen, if you have no athletic ability, just go to drama.

It'll be better for your business, professional life.

It'll be better for your personal life.

So I fucking, like,

it was, it was like, it was dark.

So when I was really young, it would be like, I was trying to learn how to play.

And then my mom would just like tell me that I had no talent.

But then she would come home drunk with like some new guy and wake me up and make me like perform for him while she changed.

That's a Dewey Cook story.

That is unbelievable.

That is fucking which you'd be like, hey, get up.

And then you just care.

You just.

And then after like leaving school, I would fucking

I once once when I was in high school, there was this army band came by have you ever had that where they come by and they play like popular songs but they're still wearing like their fatigue yeah but they do like modern songs and they're like you can do this if you join the army and so I had a moment where I went I was gonna join the army like I quit school and I got my GED so that I could take the the as fab test or whatever you know and I was like set up to like okay if you show up at you know basic training you can jump it was literally like a group of people jumped out like within a month before they were in a band.

They're like, hey, we're looking for a singer.

And I was like, oh, I want to try that.

So you were going going to go to the army army because it was the best option because you know you saw the commercials they do a good job and they recruit like a motherfucker for high schoolers oh my god they're just all in you they like act very interested in you look dumb come here yeah they would like they look at your gpa i'm positive because i had a bad gpa and i was getting hounded by the army and the marines they were like what do you got in the fall That was basically the pre-call they had to be.

I always tested.

And I was going to college and they're like, nah, you're not.

I always tested really well.

But I wasn't always, I was the one who like couldn't apply himself.

Yeah.

You know, and so it would always be the teachers like, you know, you have so much potential.

You're just squandering.

You're a, hey, hold that.

Where they do that a lot.

Like, Rob, can I talk to you for five minutes?

I see that you're understanding the material.

Yeah.

You're just not applying yourself.

And you're also, you're a little disruptive in class.

I will say I do think that is a brilliant strategy by the American military to have a band come and play and go, you guys like music.

You can do, if they would have came to my high school and gone, you like doing psilocybin and smoking weed.

We got a program where we're going to break your mind.

And you'd be like, well, now they do it.

I'm going into the army.

now they're doing video games yeah oh you're like video games man i oh my god dude we i would have you'd have dude you'd be there right now oh my god i'd be in a little thing in arizona yeah wearing my army uniform with the joystick just absolutely you do oculus i heard i love oculus yeah you do i here's the thing though trips me out it's so fucking like lame it's it's I have oculus and I and I play like three things on it.

One is mini golf.

It's great.

There's like this killer mini golf game.

I'm already on the bottom.

Talk about mini golf.

And then

another one is is power washing dude okay here's the deal people will try to shit on this people will try to shit on this i know a lot of people that find

that video game incredibly my son says he plays it like on his computer sure my buddy dez plays it and he'll be like

Like we'll play this boxing game and there was a time where I texted him.

He's like, hold on, I got to finish power washing this helicopter.

And I was like, what do you mean?

I did the helicopter.

Yeah.

And he's like, you got to get.

And then he shows me the video, and you're like, You're in it, and you're in it, yeah.

And like, and it's got this little hum,

and there's it's just I'm just washing away my problems.

It's so funny that we're turning manual labels, like, why don't I kill myself right here?

This is what we're gonna have to do with it.

They go, and now the newest game, strawberry picking.

And you go, it's it hurts my lower back, but I find it.

My wife is like,

Our fucking deck could use some power.

I get you.

I wouldn't have to do that.

You can step outside.

Can you please do it in real life so we live in a cleaner place?

Living on a bus when you come back, like now that you're back, is there going to be a moment where you like,

because I've heard musicians say this before, that when they become too,

you almost got like sea legs.

Feral.

You too.

You're too feral and like your sea legs.

You're on like dry land.

Yeah, my wife and I both, like when we come back.

Like when I was on the road without her, it would be more the feral thing, right?

Like I would come home for like, if I, if I play in New York, I base out of New York and I come home every night.

So like one night we're off and I'm sitting on the back porch with my wife and she, we're just kind of sitting next to each other at night and I've got my arm around her and I'm having a cigarette and we're just talking about something.

And then

absent-mindedly, as soon as I'm done, I take my cigarette and I just flick it across the yard.

She's like, what the fuck are you doing?

We own that.

That's our gross.

You know, like, I just forgot where I was for a second.

I forgot where I was for a second.

Yeah, there is a.

But both of us last night, like, it was our first night sleeping at home in like over a month or so.

And we both like would wake up and think we were on the bus.

Yeah.

That's something that I think happens.

He travels a ton.

I travel.

We travel a lot.

I still do the thing where if I'm at home for like, like I'll be at home for two weeks before the tour starts.

When we go on the tour, I will wake up and be like, what?

Yeah.

Like that first night, I'll be like,

but like a real fear, not like a joking fear.

And then you're like, okay, I'm in LA.

My schedules are such that like for the first week or two at home at nine o'clock at night, I don't know why I'm fucking wired.

That makes sense.

You know, because

that's got to be your noon.

Yeah.

You got to be like,

you're starting to peak and you're like, I'm feeling drunk.

Like around seven, I'll be like, what's going on?

Also, I've drink faster now.

Like last night, we're just sitting there.

We're just watching TV and having dinner.

Yeah.

And I'm like on my third glass of wine and we're not done with the, you know, and because I, because it's just going down quicker.

When I smoke weed on the road, it's like

almost calculated.

Yeah.

Where I'll be like, all right, let me have like a hit before the shower so then I can just sit in the shower, think of the show.

No, I'm not going to get stoned.

Yeah.

But then I go about, I come out, I have a coffee, I get ready, I go do the show.

When I'm at the show, I'm like, maybe smoke a little bit of a joint and then go on stage.

When I'm at home, I'm just like, she just hears the window slide open and she's like, for real?

And I'm like, what?

I had somebody ask me the other day, like, if I was like, fuck, I'm smoking a lot of weed.

I had somebody ask me the other day if I still smoked weed.

And I was like, yeah, I've cut down.

And they're like, well, how much do you smoke now?

I was like, I mean, well, I smoke every day, but I've clearly got

down.

I'm in my 40s, so I'm starting to buy like heart supplements that you're like, pair this with weed smoking.

And you're like, all right, maybe I got to cut down.

Are you at the point now, though, with like with every

feeling, you're just like, oh, that's the one?

I went and got scanned.

Yeah.

Because I was having.

I had two too for insurance reasons.

Okay.

But I, on this podcast, Mark Maron was on this podcast and he was like, yeah, you should go get like a calcium scan.

And I was like, I was trying to do that, but in New York, they said I was too young.

Oh, yeah.

And I'm 42.

They're like, no, you have to be over 50 to do it.

And then I went and did it in Colorado.

I'm like, at 53, the thing about it is like,

I'm too old to die young.

Yes.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

So like if I'm like, if you're in your 30s and you like, you see, you know, so-and-so passes at 32 and you're like, oh fucking God, that's a tragedy.

Yeah.

You know, and then in your 40s, you're like, oh, and now in your 50s, I'm just like, I

immediately got to go see why they died.

And I was just going to say, I'm going, I'm going drug, like drug abuse or cancer, drug abuse or cancer.

Long battle, long battle, long battle.

Whenever it's like they just dropped on the spot, I'm like, oh, fuck.

In between 50 and 60, you see someone dies and you go, well, what do you do?

Collapse.

Yeah.

And you're like, no, no, no, no.

But then like,

I get really healthy for a week.

What would be your age, ideal age to clock out?

I think for me, it's 75.

I think anywhere between that and 80 is probably a good spot.

75.

I mean, for the most part, my experience with it has been like, oh, everyone I've known is probably like, but like, My mother, my stepmother, or my,

my mother-in-law is

in her 70s and killing it.

Yeah, my mom's.

Clive Davis is like, was 90 and was still, you know, was going for a while in his 80s really, really well.

Yeah, they, they go, it's almost like pitchers in baseball where you're like, the fastball drops off a little bit and they like maintain it.

And then it just and the graph is like,

and then my grandma was like strong as fuck till like 94, 95.

Yeah.

And then it was just like.

When did you, what age did you, like with your grandmother, what age was the communication just not around 95.

Oh, she started pretty good.

Yeah, she was really good.

We used to to play cards and sit and talk and she was always really sharp and then around 95 she called me like and she wouldn't remember we had conversations which is she's 95 yeah you're like what are you mad about it but then one time she called me and she was like i fell and i was like what do you mean you fell and she's like i was just in the garage for 30 minutes and you're like oh you have a life alert that is you but she was like old people don't give a fuck she was just like yeah then i just got up and you're like you just dusted yourself off so my my experience is so different my grandmother, so in South Carolina, my grandmother owned, it was like a general store, it was a very small tobacco, racist tobacco town in South Carolina.

And it was the little general store that every, that was like the hub of activity.

And then the house was attached to it.

Yeah.

So she always like, she would bootleg liquor out from under the stairs.

She sold weed.

When I was 11 years old, I could separate seeds from stems

and make dime bags

because I was making them up for the customers that would come through.

Yeah.

And it was like always the place where like all the activity was happening.

Every Saturday night, there was somebody was getting shot somewhere nearby and and how old were you i was anywhere from like three to 10 11 12.

that is like during that time when you're around that kind of shady when you're seven and eight unbelievable because it's not evil it's not bad no it's what you know it was and then it was everybody like you could drive to the skating rink when you were 12 or 13 because your parents would just let you have a car because you're just riding dirt roads most of the places that you're going i mean dude imagine people doing that now because they would be like i checked your gps and you went a different route yeah but you were like able just to drive.

I was telling my mom this story when I was back in Colorado two weeks ago.

There used to be this like teen dance night at this club in Denver.

And my friends, we'd go, if we had Monday off school, we'd all go on Sunday nights.

But me and my friend couldn't get in.

So we were 15 maybe.

And our friend was like, our friend who drove us there got in, threw me the keys of his car, and his dad's like big truck.

And he's like, just wait in the truck until we come out.

So we're sitting there and I'm like, I'm not waiting for four fucking hours.

You take the truck.

So I just took the truck.

I'd never driven before.

Oh, that is.

And I drove from Denver to Aurora to go to the only movie theater that I knew.

We didn't have smartphones or anything.

And I'm like, well, the only movie theater I know is like Seven Hills.

So we can go there and watch a movie.

And then we drove back.

How did you, like, did, was there any thought that like the guy was going to come out earlier in the truck?

Fuck you.

You left us out there.

I was like, well, then when we get back, we'll get him.

The only thing I was worried about was getting pulled over.

Dude, no phones.

That was, I remember like being overseas and like waking up in some stranger's apartment and then like somehow like finding my tour manager.

Like being a tour manager in the 90s.

Were there jobs?

Rob did the hardest job in the world.

Yeah.

So they would go find it.

Dude, I mean, it was like almost famous moments, like literally where like you'd figure it out and the bus would come up to wherever you were and you'd get on the bus and you'd be like, so is there someone that has a story in like Sweden where they're like, Rob Thomas slept on my couch last night.

Yeah.

Like from the 90s?

Yeah.

They're like, we went to go see Matchbox 20.

Next thing I know, we're waking up having coffee with Rob Thomas.

It's just like you'd meet a girl in a hotel and you'd wind up going back to her place and then you'd wake up and nobody was there.

Like you'd wake up and like she's gone and her roommates are like, you want some eggs?

And you're like, my tour manager's probably left.

I don't know.

How would you reach out to me?

Where's your hotel?

I don't fucking know.

And it's something in German and I don't really know the name of it.

How would they find you?

I don't remember.

Like I would literally have to

figure out how to get back towards the hotel, especially like overseas, because in the hotel, there's no bus or anything to do with.

When it was on the road, usually I had a partner in crime.

It was like me and another band member would like leave the gig, walk right out the front door with like some people we met and just go to their house and like have some big party.

Awesome.

And then we would always try, like the only good thing was you had to know, you had to know the pager number of your tour manager.

Like that was the key.

If you knew that by heart, then you could pretty much accomplish anything.

We should go back to that.

Man, let's just,

I've been married for 27 years.

So I wouldn't say this for my marriage now.

But if, could you imagine like when I'm younger and I was starting out and you go on the the road and you're just like oh i'm getting on a bus i'll call you when i'm near a phone yeah i can't imagine that that's why none of my relationships worked out

and i'll have so much to say to you of course everyone doesn't like phones you're running out of stuff to say there's nothing yeah one of my my wife and i like i'm just like we've been texting all day i can follow your day yeah i'll tell you how you're doing i'll tell you exactly what you did texting about yeah yeah i don't i think there is a thing what i love about um this is like the obviously the best relationship i've ever been in but one of my favorite parts is there is no like,

okay,

call me when you get there or call me.

We just text like almost like I'm here, like in town.

Yeah.

So it's, so when I come home, I can tell her everything that happened.

My wife and I text in the house.

Like we spend most of our mornings, like I wake up, I'll bring her some coffee and I'll like go work out or go, you know, the studio or be doing something in the house.

And she's upstairs doing stuff and we might not see each other till one.

And we're just kind of like texting each other.

Yeah, that's great.

Their distance does make the heart grow fonder.

Yeah.

If you, if like people that are upping each other's butts you're like yeah i would hate this relationship i mean like now the reason why i'm married is because like now i'm gonna be gone and i'm not sure if we're gonna be together for the month that i'm in australia and that bums me out and that's why i'm married that's because it's not like i'm not looking forward to that segment like getting away gonna have some fun you're like dude i'm gonna who am i gonna hang with yeah i don't believe i don't believe in like boys night like i've i'm my life is a boys night out that should be a phase yeah When you're in your 20s and you're looking for someone, have boys' nights out.

When you're in your 30s, hey, if you're in your late 30s or 40s and you go through a divorce, have have a boy's night out.

But the point is, you want to find someone that you're like, I like coming back to hang out with you.

My question about phones to you is, how much has it affected music?

Like, how much has it affected your interaction with the audience?

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I mean smartphones specifically.

Like, yeah, there's a thing there, right?

There's a, there's a

physical barrier now between you and a lot of the fans sometimes, which is kind of a weird thing because everybody's

looking at you through a thing.

Yeah, I mean, thank God.

Like there are certain times where 20 years later, I can go back on YouTube and like figure out what guitar we were using on what song when we used to play it, you know?

That's it.

Or like, we used to do the cover.

Like, no, we used to do this.

And you pull it up, you know?

That's awesome.

But I remember hearing, like, I remember reading.

It's not about the shows.

It's about the fucking street.

Yeah.

I mean, that's the thing.

Like, I remember being a kid and starting out in this business and like making some horrible mistakes, but then learning from them and moving on.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Like, yeah, like getting into some fight in a bar and rolling out.

Like, if that would have been everywhere.

It would have been.

I mean, and also.

Because when I think about the Biebers of the world, like, there's a sadness there of like, man, you know, you don't get time to make your own mistakes.

To grow into it.

I think about that.

We talk about this all the time with stand-up, where it's like young comics now have to put up their stand-up immediately.

Like they're doing it for a year and they're like, here's my jokes.

Dude, it gives me nausea to watch myself before year five.

I'm like, what are you doing?

What are you talking about?

I don't want that up there.

My first, so they always, there's an old adage that like, if you make a record, your first record is the record that you have your whole life to make, and then your second record is like your sophomore record.

Sure.

But the band that I was in when I first got signed, we had this very litigious breakup.

And

I was so fucking mad because I didn't know anything.

And I signed away all the songs that I had written, I signed away to all of us.

Right.

Yeah.

And so they're like, well, you know, you can't go anywhere with these songs and we're going to.

So within like six months before the first Matchbox record, I wrote that record, all except for one song.

No.

Just left

Out of what?

Out of like frustration with the band?

I was like, you know what?

You keep those songs.

I don't fucking need them.

And the thing, the point is, is this.

And now they're haunted by those songs for the rest of their lives.

No, they tried to release them, and they're not good songs.

Yeah, but I mean, like, it's funny that they had those songs, and you're like, yeah, keep that.

Watch this.

It's 3 a.m.

I'm talking about you motherfuckers.

But when I listened to that earlier stuff, I was like, holy shit, that would have never gotten me where I'm at now.

Yeah.

That stuff was regional.

You know, like when you hear something, the best way to describe it is like, oh, that's regional.

yeah it's also like um it's similarly what we're talking about there's there's benefits in failing yeah there's benefits in failing because you go that's not the way to do it yeah let me try it again and then this time it's what you know me for or it's like way better and i feel that way about stand-up i even feel bad because like i was doing a show uh i was doing joe list show with like mark norman and louie and uh we're sitting there watching Norman and I said something to Louie and Louie goes, how long have you been doing this?

And I was like, 20 years.

And he's like, you don't know anything.

Not till you're like 30 years in and you're like, that's crazy.

Yeah.

Cause I am like.

20 years of you, you were like patting yourself on the back.

Yeah, you go, I'm a million years.

And then this guy goes, no, you don't even know shit.

And he's right.

Right.

Because there's stuff that you figure out that you go, I wish I fucking knew this.

Well, especially like even more, I think, for you, I mean, writers in general.

Sure.

But more for you, because this is like a, there's a real-time correlation between everything that you've learned and what you're about to say about it.

Yeah.

You know, I think there's, I mean, see, I feel opposite.

I feel like with songwriting, that's that's like such a place where you have to put real emotion that you're like, it just lives in this jar.

Whereas like stand-up, you go, I was kidding.

Like, if anyone's mad about it, you go, it was a fucking joke.

But songs are like, I meant that shit.

I fucking meant that shit.

I think that's like why Big J and I always used to joke around that we don't have the thing in us to be serious.

Yeah.

To be like.

I fucking love you.

Because then if anyone does go, I was kidding.

I was fucking a pussy.

I'm just scared.

I'm so scared.

That's fucking great.

Oh, dude.

There was a day where you came into serious xm and we were i i oh i i ran into to joe on on the street he was having a cigarette outside oh big jay yeah when you guys you guys were doing and i i was a fan of the of the the show i never believed him yeah i never believed that he ran you guys talking about it because i didn't believe him until right now and rob telling me this yeah i always thought jay was with me i just saw him outside having a cigarette and i came over i was just like big i was like listen i'm a big fan of you guys yeah he was like rob thomas likes this i was like yeah sure jay you

know and then you're like oh fuck but we were, we were like, we're always blown away.

I always love when you find out people

like what you do.

Have you found someone that likes your shit?

That, like, obviously you collab with Santana or whatever, but has there been someone in music that has come up to you and you're like, I mean, all the time.

Like, you've heard my shit.

Like, like, Nikki Glazier came to our show the other day.

Yeah.

And like, and I'm just, I'm just like, holy shit.

And then the second time she came, I was just like, you're famous now.

Look at you.

Yeah, look at you.

Host an award show.

It's getting big.

But I I think like, has there been other musicians that have heard this shit?

When Smooth first came out, I knew that it was going to be a hit because I was walking through, it was the Bellage at the time in L.A.

And

Jason from Metallica, when he was still Metallica.

Hell yeah, Jason Newston, came over and he's just like, dude, that fucking song rocks.

And I was like, yeah.

Did that make you feel like, oh, fuck.

Totally.

Yeah, because I mean, that's like.

I mean, dude, you know, my family's Bay Area family, so Santana was like

70s.

He's such a monster.

I mean,

do you see him ever?

Because he's

76.

Well, I mean,

we talk all the time.

That's all.

Like, we send each other songs back and forth.

And when we're working on new stuff, we'll share it.

And if we're both on the road, we talk almost every night because we'll like get off the stage and be bored and just be like, start texting each other.

So like comics.

Yeah.

Because that's what you do.

When we know we're on the road, you're like, hey, you're in fucking Iowa City right now.

You're awake.

Yeah.

For real.

I have more confidence in calling my comedian friends at like midnight more than noon.

Yep.

Because noon, I'm like, I don't even know.

They could be traveling or sleeping.

But if I call them at midnight, I'm like, where are you at?

Yeah, I know you're up.

Or if I see them make an Instagram post, they'll be like, great show, Baltimore.

And you're like, this motherfucker's up.

You're either up because you had a great show, are you just killing yourself because you didn't?

Yeah.

Or you're outside smoking a joint and you're like, hey, I think weed's still like super illegal here.

So I just want to talk to someone as I walk around this empty business parking lot.

What's your favorite city to go to?

Because I feel like you've been on the road for over 30 years.

So is there still cities?

I'm getting getting like,

I get to the point now where I go to a city and I go, I think I like this more, like Indianapolis.

Yeah.

Like, I think I like you more than I did last time.

Yeah, I mean, I think it really goes because I'm a narcissist, you know, to some degree to do that.

Like, you have to be a narcissist to some degree to be like, oh, I have thoughts and you need to fucking hear them.

Yes.

You know,

it's absolutely me first.

Like, you know, you know, when I knew I was a narcissist, when I, when I had the realization, because I used to be so scared of flying on a plane.

Sure.

and I used to think of the irony factor right like the first time like if I was like oh shit I just got I did Letterman for the first time that would be that would be ironic you're looking for your Labamba Labamba theater right but you're like it's finally happening I realized that I realized that I was a narcissist because I wasn't thinking about the other 300 fucking people on the plane and like somehow they were just extras in my story beautifully put and I'm gonna tell you right now this is how bad narcissist comedians are I've had conversations about this of being on planes and going well yeah if we die they're gonna mention you not me.

Jim Gaffigan did that to me.

Yeah,

that was exactly.

That's like we were on such comic brain routes.

You're the headliner.

We were on a plane coming back, and it was like we had borrowed a private plane because we were doing this event.

It was me, Kiefer Sutherland, and Jim Gaffigan.

Great lineup.

Somebody else.

And as we're on the plane, and when we hit turbulence, Gaffigan's like, nobody's going to mention me.

Yeah,

the only way they would is if to make the headline about it.

Like, you know, and then he's like, he's like, yeah.

No laughing matter.

Kiefer Sutherland, Rob Thomas, and comedian.

Oh, fuck.

That's the one that would hurt everybody if you go, comedian, like Gaffigans, like, comedian have done 15 specials.

Yeah, that's always where entertainers are.

That's why I don't think entertainers should ever give

advice to people.

Yeah.

Because we're so inside our own brains.

They're like, I don't know how to help you.

Yeah.

I don't know.

Maybe you can listen to something that I say and it'll help, but I'm not going to tell you.

That's my answer now, especially for younger generations.

Like,

every time I've released a record over the last 20 years, it's been a different landscape and people are experiencing music differently and people are putting it out in different ways.

So, like, when I talk to my son about his band, I'm like, I don't know that I can, I can talk to you about songwriting.

I can talk to you about intention when you do something musically.

But when it comes to like releasing something, I don't know.

Have you seen anything in the music business that's been like almost cyclical, like come back around where you go like, oh, singles were big when I started and now they're bigger again?

I mean, formats, but it's more kitsch, right?

LPs.

People are like, oh, I love my LPs or I like CDs again.

I'm not, you know.

But I wonder that because, like, I started in, you know, before I did comedy, I was like, I think open racism is coming back.

You guys have seen that.

I think a lot of crazy shit's coming back.

But I also think, like, I used to work at like a rock radio station.

That's right.

Where I started.

And it's interesting.

You've been in Colorado?

I started in Tucson at KFMA.

Shout out KFMA Day.

But it was interesting because it was like that.

is now nostalgic.

Like all the alternative, like you're seeing young kids that have no idea wearing nirvana shirts and shit, and you're like, oh, fuck, all right, it's coming back around.

Kind of like the way the 70s did when we were growing up.

It became cool for us to like like shit from the 70s.

Yeah, I think 90s, I mean, 90s is coming through in a really big way.

Would you ever do, I always, so here's my, I hate when celebrities do commercials, specifically like gambling ones or AI ones, stuff that celebrities that I know are making a ton of money.

Right.

I'm like, you don't need this.

Right.

The only time I feel good about it is when I go like

those nostalgia tours you know what i'm talking about where they're like early 2000 r b ones and you go or like rock bands have you guys ever been pitched on those we have we it's kind of a rule with us is like we don't we don't want to

because i'm like well we're we're we were we were like we we would be on like the early 2000s that was like our our heyday right yeah who yeah who would you book that who would you book if you were to do one like an ultimate no like like a graduating class right third eye blind sick i mean all right i'm already buying a ticket and they're

good

bring it dude i'll bust out my like like we're like we've done tours with with us and the crows but like the crows came out before sure like like i remember being like we were a young band doing counting crows covers like at colleges you know when we were playing dude i mean so like and adam knows yeah he created a whole genre for dudes that's yeah acoustic guitar yeah

yeah

oh you know what's funny dude i haven't this is no you're gonna hit me with an athuro It's a perfect fucking.

I'm going to fucking

Zoom call with Adam on the ride home today.

No shit.

Yeah, that's so fucking funny.

Yeah, dude.

He, I mean, what's funny about counting crows music is it's either super flirtatious or it's the saddest shit you've ever heard.

Yeah, totally.

You go, I'm going to do Long December and make you cry.

And now he's...

I don't know if you've heard any of the newer stuff, but it's like...

It's like those old Springsteen.

They're like 10 minutes long and they don't really have a verse and a chorus.

They just meander into like these.

You just got a guy losing a job.

Yeah.

He's like, yeah, dump.

The guy on on the street takes his shoes and his feet.

He puts him downstairs and he doesn't care.

And he walks.

Yeah,

I'm ready for that version of Counting Crows.

That's awesome.

Of like 10-minute long.

It's really fucking good.

Yeah.

When's the next time, now that the solo album, you just finished that tour?

Yeah, I'm going to Australia in

a couple weeks solo still.

So that's the thing about touring with you guys that I think is absolutely fucking insane is we go Thursday to Sunday and we bitch like we're on the road.

You're gone a month, two months.

Yeah.

What's the longest you'll go out now?

like the matchbox last matchbox tour was almost like four months which is crazy how many times in those four months did you go to your house just uh one like three-week period when i was basing out of jerseys and pennsylvanias and things like that but and then my wife would would like we we try to not be apart more than two weeks so yeah she would come either meet the bus or you know maybe leave Once we was in New York, she'd jump on the bus and then ride for a while.

So as long as I'm with her, I'm home.

It's not that big of a deal, you know, like to not be in my house.

Yeah, I would, I would, I think if i ever went homeless my my i would squat i would look at who's on the road if i would i'm gonna get their house and squat i would live on a bus probably really it would be the greatest ever you think so if if you were not married you'd just live on that bus i could see that happening you could do that that comfortably i think so damn or pull it over like you know just pull up my friends yards and be like yeah you got a tv got a bathroom i could still like you know carlos has a great beach house in hawaii so boom i could take that could knock out a month right there that is sick that also sounds like a professional mooch that sounds like a great uh restaurant carlos's beach house yeah you go have you been to carlos' beach house that's great it's the crab cage oh my god they do i'm telling you right now the crab cage it's the ao do a ceviche yeah that'll make you shit um yeah i i've not gotten comfortable on the bus and i know a lot of comics that like do the bus thing the um sometimes i gotta poop in the middle of the night right well you can poop on the bus now

yeah dude listen fuck ai let me tell you about the future

i'm a comics bus comics bus

You can poop on your bus?

Yeah, they have to.

We're both looking at each other like...

I have told you.

My bus driver has a theory that you always actually could poop on buses, but because normally a bus has like multiple, like a lot of people on it, they just don't.

They don't want to care.

That's a lot of poop.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, and you don't want to beat Dave Matthews and just dump it on a river in Chicago.

Like it was Willie Elson.

When I was hanging with Willie on his bus, and he was just talking about how he never gets off the bus.

Even when he gets home, he parks his bus outside and like will do his laundry in his house, but stays on the bus most of the time that's so funny that he's like just thinking of going willie yeah get off that damn bus and he's like i ain't coming off my bus that's why he's been married five times yeah because he goes he goes either if you want to see willie you're gonna have to get on the bus he's weed by the way i like that because he was tight he was talking about his dick too

did you get it talking about that willie bus um willie willie nelson's weed was i don't know if you ever smoked it the willie's reserve dude i turned i turned willie on this weed back in the day when you still had to like have a guy that you knew to get weed like in California.

We used this guy named

we can blur it cartoon.

It doesn't matter.

But so I was in the cover at high time, so I can't hide the fact that I was.

That's sick.

That is a coolest magazine cover to be a part of.

We hung out with Willie for like two or three days.

We were writing some music and I called my guy and the guy came over, but the kind of caveat, like it is sometimes, we had to listen to his demo tape.

And it was like a fucking bad metal band.

And all the songs were like, you know, Satan spawn.

And it was all like super.

like crazy, crazy metal.

But then I get home like two weeks ago.

Real quick, though, can I just tell you, I have to interrupt right here.

It's, it is so soothing to know that famous people have to sit through the weed dealer smoke a bowl, listen to their story.

It is the best thing that we're doing.

But you have to wait worse.

If that's part of fucking demo.

That's part of legalization of weed.

You no longer have to pretend to have a friend.

Yeah, go, oh, that's so cool.

I really want to hang out in your apartment, but I got to get out of here.

When he played the demo, is it you and Willie?

Me and Willie.

And then I fucking left for a minute.

I just left willie in there for like five minutes but so he plays all this stuff and then like two weeks later i get home and i get a call on my phone and it's like and my message and it's like it's like hey rob it's willie uh i'm in la and i need to get the number for that devil weed

he goes i want to sign that guy to my label i'm just kidding i need his weed his band sucks ass he did he's like i hope his weed's better than his music oh my god dude the imagine the thought of playing a shitty song for you and willie delson and going like

and i'm not and did he i mean it was like six songs and he played them all.

No, he didn't.

Yeah.

Were you getting high during it at least?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

I was going to say, if he was making you wait to smoke weed, I'd be like, this steal's over.

I don't miss that at all.

Yeah.

The getting weed, when I moved to New York, I, especially when I moved to Queens, I learned the, oh, I have to go get in the back of a car that just pulled up and then drive around.

I wasn't a fan of it.

I want to get high, so I'm going to put my life in my own hands.

And it'd just be a tinted out Cadillac.

And I'd get in and I'd be like, hey, I'm Dan.

That was like my whole life when I was hitchhiking because that's the whole idea.

Like three in the morning.

It's like fucking weirdo roulette.

Would you, when you're hitchhiking and you're in Florida, one of the most dangerous places to hitchhike,

what weapon do you have on you?

My wits.

No way.

You're just going to fool them into letting you.

You have my wits and extra.

Weren't you worried about like...

Crazy people picking you up?

I had some, a few different things.

I had a guy that once was really convincing me how how I needed to get into porn, but I had to do gay porn because that's where the real money was.

And by the way, I bet he thought he was cooking.

I bet he was like, Yeah, close your eyes.

Imagine that guy.

That's the guy.

And he goes, hey, I'm telling you, it's a good life.

And then I had one guy,

he pulled over and I put my stuff in the back of his truck and we're driving along.

And he was.

eerily quiet, kind of scary quiet.

And he's got these golf clubs in the back.

So I'm trying to break up the silence.

And I go, I was like, hey, so you play golf?

And he looks over and I'll never forget this because he says it's verbatim he goes listen here son i'm a gay person do you mind if we pull over up here and i suck you

you go no

but i like that you're right to the point such a nice guy i was like and i go i go no and he goes oh no and he reaches over to kind of grab grab starts like grab really grabbing at me yeah and so i just started like messing with the gear shift as we're driving on the road.

Yeah.

And the trucks, you know, starts,

and so then I jumped out.

I got my bag and he just drove off.

Yeah.

And he goes, oh, for one today.

Another one down.

Yeah, he's like, hey, you know what?

You're going to lose some worms if you're going fishing.

You miss 100% of the shots.

Yeah, that's what he thinks.

He goes,

I don't know.

Three out of 10, you're a Hall of Famer in baseball.

Yeah, that is wild.

I like, there is, you didn't think about like the direct approach of just going, I'm a gay man.

I'd like to pull over here.

And I'm going to suck you.

I'm going to suck you is so funny.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm going to suck you.

There's something very polite about it.

Yeah.

It's the A.

If you don't mind.

It was an if if you don't mind if you're not busy yeah i know you're busy nothing going on my mouth you're a dick right now

and then we don't worry about golf we don't talk about golf in this club we only talk about gay blowjobs that's really funny no golf talk only gay sucking in here was there ever a moment in hitchhiking what was your last hitchhike do you remember uh i was i was like 30.

no um yeah your last week just to get home i don't remember the last one um i think it was like low it was fun but we it was me and my buddy we were hitchhiking from one part in florida to another part in florida but we met up with like a car full of these girls that drove us to this party and we hung out there to like 10 in the morning the next morning and and then they kind of drove us back and dropped us back off and it was just the greatest story of all time nice so you go i'm gonna leave on a win yeah that's the best way to do it hitchhikers if you're watching this leave on a win don't get sucked don't get sucked and leave on a win and leave on a win um you're doing the australia tour where after that um so then i'm gonna come home a bunch of like one-off stuff next year we're starting to the matchbox 2030th anniversary so we'll start like maybe some festivals that'll be big not 90s festivals no dude don't do them don't try to book them on that all right we want to be like we'd rather be our thing is we'd rather be like at one o'clock in the afternoon in a festival that we would want to go see than be the headliner of like a festival that we don't want to be at that's my my thing is you guys are such a successful band that I'm talking about when I see bands from the 90s that I like maybe think what have like one or two hits and I I see them on that thing my thought is never I go

get paid it's a good yeah I like that there's a lot I think those festivals exist for a reason same way uh cruise ship comedians yeah I go fucking get paid I used to feel that way about corporate gigs like I thought corporate gigs were kind of lame yeah but then to me it's it's a very honest way to make a buck you play music someone pays you to play music that's kind of what I do yeah there are there I think there are I think there should be like a consciousness of how well you're like my problem is the guys that are doing so well yeah taking checks that you go well I know you don't need that and that makes me feel gross as a fan right but when there's guys that you're like like what I'm talking about guys you haven't heard since like 97 you go fuck yeah go get them I hope you're all right yeah that's how I feel about commercials when I see you songs on it I go totally get them that fucking shit when we were coming up in the 90s like commercials were the it was the biggest no-no you don't do any ads you don't do anything I'm fascinated with this subject because you're right it was like selling out was a gross thing and there was fucking REM would never do that Nirvana would never do that

you would go buy that like what were these these bands would never do that.

But then, when things started to take a turn in the traditional sense of the music business, it was only bands like Death Cap for Cutie and Wilco and those bands that were doing these commercials all of a sudden.

They were like the coolest of all bands.

They were doing the commercials because they weren't making arena money.

Yeah.

They were doing smaller events.

They had integrity and they were like, you know, playing.

They had a small group of people that cared about them a lot.

But isn't that funny, though, that they were like so focused on having integrity and being small that they end up doing the most sellout thing, which is like giving it to a Ford truck?

Yeah.

Where it's like

Ford Ram will follow you into the darkness.

And it's like death cap for cutie playing.

And you're like,

this is fucking wild.

You're like, I didn't even think this was going to be a thing.

Because I have like a small theory that I think

rock.

music has been damaged by truck commercials.

Did it start with Bob Seeger and like a rock?

He kind of.

I mean, that's the first one that comes to mind.

So I got into a big fight about that with Willie Nelson, of all people like we're talking about.

We were just talking about, and I was like, young, super idealist.

And just like, you don't fucking, you know, you don't do this.

You don't, if you're not an actor, you don't.

And Willie's like, well, I've been in like seven movies, Rob.

And I'm like, okay, not you.

I mean, I'm doing that.

I do that all the time with Kami.

I go, you don't do that.

All right.

Well, you did it.

But that's, I like you.

I like that.

And the way you did it, though, is right.

Yeah.

But

my buddy Brendan Sagalow goes on the road with me and I'll like, we'll be driving somewhere and I'll have my phone.

So I'll be playing like my music and it'll be a rock song and one time he went it just all sounds like truck commercials now so now whenever a rock song comes on without a habit of ours is going like with the new f-150 you got tow capacity up to 35.

you're not you're not wrong i um i i there was a hint like the other day there was a commercial on in the goo goo dolls where the it was a for a car commercial sure and i was There was a half of me that was just like, oh man, I can't believe it.

And the other half is like, man, I can't believe I didn't get that commercial.

That's the same thing about the plane going down.

It's the same thing about the plane going down.

That narcissism of like,

why didn't Ford want my song?

Yeah.

I don't want to do it, but I want them to want me.

Yeah.

You go, I don't know.

I think it would be pretty sick to have a Hemi with the...

Yeah, I would want that.

That is, that's very funny.

It's, that's also like, it feels good to know that everybody feels that way.

Yeah.

Because I think what sucks the most is when you think you're the only one that thinks that way and then you think there's something wrong with you and you're like, no, no, no.

I mean, right down the street, somebody feels like that.

I mean,

whatever like inner office politics, somewhere like that, people are getting, it's the same thing.

It's the same thing.

There's a certain level of, you know, of this, there's a hierarchy and there's a jealousy.

Yeah.

And there's a, you know, you could, you can work at a company where you are doing great work and you're doing it the right way.

And then you're watching complete sociopath who cares nothing about the quality of work but knows how to like network go up and then you go, fuck.

And you go, that's the entertainment industry, brother.

Yeah.

There's people willing.

It is.

It's just

willing to cut the back of your knees to get ahead.

It's not called show friends.

And you print that shit.

The new album, All Night Day, out now.

Rob, you're the fucking man.

I'm so excited.

I couldn't believe you said yes to doing this podcast.

Can I tell you this, by the way?

I drove straight through on the bus from LA to here and only did one stop because I had to get back in time to be able to do this podcast.

And I was like, whatever I got to fucking do, I'll make it work because I'm such a fan.

Dude, thank you.

I mean, I'm a comedy nerd.

Yeah.

Like, you blew my mind that you loved the bonfire.

And I can't tell you how much that meant because because when we found out that you heard us doing that thing where we were going, I think we did for like 30 minutes.

We were going, give me a hundred.

Yeah, you did.

You did.

It was hilarious.

Come on, hilarious.

It was fucking hilarious.

But the fact that two stoners smoked a joint outside,

Smooth was playing in the lobby, and that's why we were doing it to make each other laugh.

The fact that you heard that and found it funny, both Jay and I were like, Rock Thomas is the fucking man.

Well, I mean, I believe that.

I fucking think, Jay, his whole bit about his daughter's Bush is one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my entire life.

I'm telling you right now, Big Jay Okerson is Ernest Hemingway of pussy jokes.

But not only that, he's one of the funniest human beings of all time.

So the fact that you heard our silliness and were like, oh, no, that's fun as shit.

You're like, oh, that's the best.

No, I really was.

I wanted to do anything I could to be here, man, because I'm a fan of your podcast.

I'm a fan of your comedy.

You're the man.

Rob Thomas.

This is just me saying Rob Thomas is the man.

Check out the new album All Night Day.

And

yeah, dude, I want to come out and see you like shows.

Let's go.

Yeah, hell yeah.

I want to get high with Rob Thomas.

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