697 - Bo Gritz - Part Two

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You're listening to the dull-up on the all things comedy network.

This is an American history podcast where each week, I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to a grifter.

Gareth Reynolds, who knows what the topic is,

who doesn't know what the topic is going to be.

You

cat

out of the cat.

That's called birth.

That is birth.

Yeah, the cat had a baby.

You know, cats can have

a litter of cats can have more than one father.

Did you know that?

No.

Yeah.

A litter of cats can have different fathers.

Those dirty little cats.

They get out there and that's why they keep howling after they get banged once.

They're like, keep it going.

They're like, man,

lady cat is having a night.

You know what's always made me laugh about cats?

They have litters and then they use litter.

Now that's pretty interesting.

I thought we were having a good time with the facts.

No, no, no, but just think about that for a minute.

Now that must get pretty confusing down at the old cat factory.

Hey, how was your litter?

It was good.

I used it this morning.

I pooped in it.

You pooped in your litter?

Of course.

What else is it there for?

Those are your babies.

I mean, not once they come out of me.

That's what poop is.

Your babies?

You pooped on your babies?

Yeah.

Well, no.

Then why just say the letter?

Oh, man.

Anyway, you can watch Gareth's I'm a Cat stand-up tour, which is just cat material, him as a cat.

You can go to GarethReynolds.com, click tour, and there's a cat tab, and just hit that.

Oh, this is part two of the Bogrites.

What?

Oh, yeah, right.

August 30th, 1993.

So

Bo's come back from.

Can we just say

part one?

He's come back from his latest mission.

And

he...

Whoops.

Yeah, he's come back.

He basically answers the question: what if Steven Segal was a war grifter?

Well, he's now an icon.

He came back more famous than ever.

He's the one brave man

who has enough balls to go back to the Southeast Asia.

We've been on a hate tour.

I just started hating Hollywood.

I already hated politics.

The military I hated, and now we're hating like the talk show circus.

Sure.

Yeah.

He's going to save our POW boys, right?

He's the one guy.

He's the one, even though in actuality he hadn't saved anyone.

In fact, created one POW and then abandoned him and then fled to America.

But still, he is now seen as like

this

badass who's going to get our boys back.

That's great.

Yeah, now it's time for Bo's big reveal.

A congressional subcommittee invites him to present his evidence.

The nerves that must have been gone through.

You think he gets nervous or he's such a liar that he's like, I got this.

I think he's a liar.

And I think that he's getting so much positive feedback from the press and the talk shows and everything else that, yeah, that he thinks he can say whatever he wants.

So, the congressional, this is this hearing, it's the biggest spotlight he's ever going to have on him, and he's ready for it.

Uh, as his first bit of proof, he presented a bag of bones to the U.S.

Embassy in Thailand to be analyzed.

He he presented that to wait, he proof that there's BOWs, but who did he present that to?

Gammon to the U.S.

Embassy in Thailand.

Oh, okay, gotcha.

Hey, uh, Bo, uh,

Anything else?

I found these bones at a POW camp, and I just

let you know that they're working our men to death out there.

So the POWs are dead, so what is the point?

No, this one was alive.

You abandoned him, and I could have got him out.

I mean, these are bones.

And then I got, by the time I got to him, he was bones.

But he wanted out.

He wanted out.

Okay.

I have been sucking the bones to tell what his last thoughts were.

So those bones were delivered to

those bones were delivered to Richard Armitage.

It's also funny to imagine him just finding these bones.

Like, that's perfect.

Like, he's on a little bone mission.

So they're delivered to Richard Armitage in D.C.

He's done a lot of work for the U.S.

government, Armitage.

At the time, he was the State Department Southeast Asia chief.

Before that, he was allegedly involved with the Phoenix program, which was a Vietnam War program to bring corporate management system to torture and murder of innocent civilians so it would be more efficient.

Yeah.

Which we later do under Bush.

Yeah.

Under W.

Abu Graben.

Later in his life, he leaked the CIA agent's name to the press because she wasn't pro-Iraq war enough,

which was the Valerie Plame affair.

And he also might have been one of the main guys in Iran-Contra.

This guy's

a real player.

So Armitage testifies

that Bo's bag of bones don't actually include any American bones.

Okay, so he's standing in the way of the bone bag,

which is what I call my scrotum

in fact

it turns out the bones are mostly pig bones

it's you know what is great about this guy is it's it's that he's like it's he lazy lies yeah he like doesn't go like he's not like he's not really trying too hard he's kind of just like you know what i mean it's just like he's just like doing a science project with what he has on the kitchen table like Like our president.

Oh, come on.

But it's just the idea of like the ability,

the cojones to go to an embassy and present a bag of bones, like POW bones, only to have someone be like, there's snout cartilage in here.

What do you...

Which guy had a little curly tail?

A lot of them did.

And they were hoofed.

So in Beau's biggest moment when the subcommittee chairman asked him to present the pictures from that undeveloped roll of film bow said that he was the wrong he used the wrong setting on the camera and the pictures hadn't turned out oh my god

god damn it

uh i had my i had my finger in front of the thing ah so

no i don't know i don't know f-stops the cap was on yeah

classic mistake

As this is all unfolding, people in high places who had been sick of Bo for a while now started to take action against him.

Okay.

So Ted Sampley, the former editor of the U.S.

Veterans News and Report, said he was approached by the Reagan administration to spy on Bo.

This is

the story is so off-kilter that

Reagan.

Well, he's making the government look bad.

Yeah, Reagan is like, so the Republicans hate the government that helps people, but they love the military.

So he is attacking

the military look bad.

Yes.

So that they can't have.

Right.

Quote, they were spying.

Quote, they were spying on Bo Greites.

I testified about this in front of the Senate Select Committee.

Greites became the victim of a smear campaign.

He challenged the U.S.

government and found himself being called the fruitcake, an idiot, a charlatan.

Why don't you ask my psychic what she thinks?

Go ahead, Charlotte.

Despite this huge setback on the national stage, Bo promised to go back and find our boys.

Dave,

it's time to get them out, Gareth.

It's time to get bring them back.

Won't they actually be dying of natural causes soon in this timeline?

How long do you think these POWs are going to exist there?

I mean, this is.

They've probably started new lives by now.

Let them go.

They're either not there anymore or they're done.

I don't know what year we stopped doing this, but it went on.

I remember while it was going on, I was just like, how

old are they?

Like, what's happening?

In my brain, my first thought was always, why not just kill him?

You know what it is?

It's like that, it's those Philip, the stories of those in the Philippines when those soldiers were like, like the story I did on the guy who

was gone for 23 years.

That's what they think is happening.

But there was like a few of those guys, and it's not happening.

Well, because the only reason to keep a POW camp.

The keepers of the POW camp would be like...

You do it.

You do it for a return.

Yeah.

You're keeping them to get to the

country.

When do they make contact for the leverage?

They never do.

They're just like, we just want these guys here.

Give them back.

Give who back?

Give them back.

Yeah, the whole thing doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

And yet, everyone is, and they yet talk shows are like, it's an honor.

Okay, yeah.

So it's great.

So Colonel Earl Hopper, vice chairman of the POW MIA organization Task Force Omega, remembered it this way: quote, Bo continued his operations trying to locate POWs, but each time his operation got underway, he was sabotaged by the U.S.

government.

This was a stab in the back, a perfidious act, in my opinion.

So, because he can't, you can't win.

This is a situation where even the government, you can't win because you do want to stop him.

He's a fucking grifter.

He's giving hope to people who shouldn't have hope that they're which is which is a check in the mail of bad news and makes you look bad.

I mean, it's all just

he's a fake representative of your bullshit, but you're also like...

It's almost the perfect griff because when the government comes after you, you can just go, see?

Yeah.

Like it's...

Yeah.

Yeah.

So, Bo.

And then if it fails, you go, the government fucked with us.

Yeah.

Every time.

So the BOGO, but Bo goes back to Southeast Asia.

Who's running the passports?

Like, someone should just be like, sir, no.

No.

You're not allowed to go across

Pacific anywhere.

We x-rayed your bag and it's a lot of bones.

Pig bones.

I'm bringing the pig bones back to where they belong.

I'm giving them a proper burial.

These pigs deserve an honorable burying.

So, Gareth, this is Operation Broken Wing,

named because it's supposed to result in the rescue of a POW with one broken leg.

Which is obviously not a wing, but.

And how do they know this POW has a broken leg?

God, they got sources, Reynolds.

This time I didn't put my finger over the lens.

So, Bo's learned a lesson.

And this time, didn't do all the crazy shit he did before the other missions.

He didn't call the press.

Okay.

He did invite a psychic.

He didn't.

There are no blondes.

No sex workers.

You can say it.

But the mission is still

not great.

Okay.

After Bo claims that an exiled Laotian general named Kong Lee traded him three POWs

in exchange for a boat ride to Paris.

Bo is saying that he got three POWs?

Yeah.

In exchange for a boat ride to Paris, because that's what's what Laotian generals want.

People don't know.

I've always seen myself as Parisian.

I want to open a Boulingerie.

I want to go to Paris.

I really would love that.

Do they really call it Gay Paris?

Now, are you French?

Because you're...

He found a French layer, a fake French layer.

I'm obsessed with the French guy.

So since this is being pre-arranged, they didn't need to call in the helicopters or anyone else in the military to come to their aid.

I cannot wait to see what happens with these three fake POWs.

Well, so...

No, no, he didn't get them yet.

Oh, the plan.

Oh, he's going to get them.

The plan.

He's made a plan.

Right, right.

Wait for the POWs at a rendezvous point on the Mekong River at midnight.

Sure.

So, according to Bo, as soon as midnight comes, they start getting radio signals, picking them up.

It's the prisoners.

Wait,

so hold on.

They're talking on the radio.

He had time to plan this.

And in his bullshit,

he's supposed to meet.

he's just, the POWs are just going to walk up alone.

No, they're going to be dropped along.

I think they're being dropped, yeah.

So at midnight, they start making radio contact instead of just walking up to the round.

I think they're letting, I think the people who are in charge of them are letting them use the radio.

In what?

Jesus, use your head, man.

You're going to see them in five minutes.

Hey, hey.

Why don't you guys call them just to say what's up?

And then you can see them.

Just Just tell them each your name and your eye color.

Yeah, we'll just get the hellos out of the way so this thing goes pretty quickly.

I guess say what you're wearing so they don't confuse you with other POWs.

Just explain what, just tell them how it's been, and then that'll save you some time when you're on the boat to not have to catch up like that.

We're actually doing lunch orders real quick, so just call in your lunch order to your group.

So Bo puts on his night vision goggles and he sees, yeah, the POWs are on their way down the river in little dinghies.

But just as they were getting close.

Sharks.

Boom.

A powerboat came out of nowhere and ran over the three dinghies.

But

the POWs survived.

But they were now forced to turn around.

They're a zombie POWs.

No, they were forced to turn around and head back to prison.

So close.

He had them until a bigger boat knocked him over, and now they have to go back to POW, Kim.

There's a lot of people who are.

He really, the idea that he came up with, like, he had hours, days, weeks.

Sounds like I got to think of this.

Sounds like our government's trying to stop it again.

It's very Epstein.

But it was, it was very, this whole thing is very.

It's very Epstein.

But Bo wasn't about to give up the rescue attempt.

The next night, he crawled toward the prison in the underbrush,

but someone saw him and shot a rocket at him.

He survived that somehow.

The rescue attempt did end there, but not because Bo got scared by the rocket, only because the media discovered he was in Laos,

which may have been leaked by his own government.

So he returned to the U.S.

again without a POW.

A rocket?

They shot a rocket.

Yeah, that happens.

Why would you shoot or send men?

And the media knows,

but the people in the camp already know anyway.

So, why does the media letting anyone know?

Like, you could do the mission for another day.

I'm tired of your questions, obviously.

Because they're logical.

Well,

so Bo goes back home and he moves to Nevada.

Imagine calling like the Booker of the Tonight Show, like, I'd like to come back.

I have a pretty good new little story.

It wasn't, I think it was daytime talk shows.

No, it was like morning.

I'd like to come back to Good Morning Columbus.

It's like Donahue and shit like that.

Oh, my God.

Oprah.

Sally Jesse.

Well, Sally Jesse, it got pretty hairy out there.

Well, why?

I shouldn't say Oprah because why would Oprah have Beau Grits on when she really just has high-quality people on like Dr.

Oz?

She didn't do fake war heroes.

She does fake doctors.

So he's in Nevada.

I remember the first time I saw Dr.

Oz and I was like, this guy's making a lot of sense.

You know what I mean?

I was like, yeah, clearly.

Look at that.

He gets it.

I should be drinking chia seeds.

So,

Bo spends his, isn't she?

Aren't chia seeds fine?

They're good for you.

Yeah, yeah, they're good for you.

He spent his downtime in the desert.

Of course.

He's in Nevada

training the same Afghan Mujahideen who would then become the Taliban.

He is legit training the Mujahideen.

Who is letting that happen?

Yeah, that's good.

I don't know why he was doing that.

Like, who would at this point be like, you should be in charge of this?

Unless they were like,

we want the movie.

He's still working with that stupid Army CIA thing.

Of course it would be lasting.

Because the Army is full of fucking idiots.

Well, that's a pretty good answer.

Really?

I mean, think about the guy, like...

Oh, my God.

The liberals love Powell, and think about what a monster he was.

I just remembered I had a dream last night that I was near Pete Hegseth and he smelled horribly and he had like horrible halitosis.

I had a dream that we got another dog.

We're both doing good stuff.

This is

a Helix commercial, actually.

Helix, imagine what Pete Hegseth smells like.

Okay, so he's training the Mujahideen

after one of

these sessions, he gets a call, and it's from Tom Harvey, Ronald Reagan's National Security Council staff officer,

and he told Bo to pack his bags.

The world's greatest drug lord might have an army of POW slaves that needed to be liberated.

And Bo was the man for the job.

Why?

It should be real.

Because it was a national hero.

One of two things is happening.

And it's definitely not the first, which is that they've made up a fake mission to just get him out of America for a little while.

So it's either that one or they're the dumbest.

Or they want him to go attack the world's greatest drug lord and die.

They want him to die.

But also, remember, they are, I mean,

Oliver North is part of these people.

Armitage is part of these people.

I mean, it's really a collection of fucking idiots.

They're really dumb.

And we saw this whole era, and we were like, now this needs to be replicated forever.

Well, the right has always been doing this shit, it's never stopped.

But this is like, isn't this right around when it was like, oh, now we're getting it, we're figuring it out?

I mean, they're doing, they're doing Iran-Contra.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

They're deep in all kinds of.

That's what I mean.

They're like,

this is the model now.

Yeah, I mean, I guess.

Yeah.

I mean, they always did this, dude.

But this is this is like the Reagan was the one where you were like, yeah, okay.

But yeah, I mean, the mask is off.

But I mean,

no, because the mask was off during Nixon.

Like, he literally

put the mask.

He stopped the peace process.

Then we put a mask on for a minute.

I don't know when the mask was on.

I mean, when Carter was doing a genocide,

I didn't know about that until not too long ago.

And I was like, oh, Jimmy.

Okay, so.

Kun Sa was the world's greatest drug lord.

He ran the Golden Triangle, the world's largest producer of opium and heroin.

And it's estimated at one point he produced half of the planet's heroin

valued at over a billion dollars a year.

Nice.

So to protect his massive cash crop,

Kun Sa assembled an army of over 10,000 armed men and a fortified camp in the jungle.

And Bo is going to bring some sex workers and some weirdos he lied to with him.

Yeah, in a balloon.

And

a plane that you could blow up like a pontoon.

And one day, Bogritz just strolls into the camp.

Dude, what the fuck?

Hello.

Hi, boys.

How are you?

What's going on in here?

He did not notify.

He did notify Kunza before.

He just showed up.

Hi.

What are you doing?

The only things he brought.

Were two cameramen and a lie detector test.

Man, it's time for you to answer some questions.

Well, Army of 10,000 and man who produces half the world's heroin,

will you sit in this chair and we can put some electrodes on your fingers?

Let's just settle this.

All right.

Now,

we're not leaving until each one of you takes a lie detector test.

These people are with the Washington Post.

So we don't know why he brought the lie detector test because it never got around to that.

But the cameraman immediately started filming as Bo walks in and shouts for the world's most powerful drug lord to come down and meet him.

What is he doing?

He's schooltizing?

I think that he has now

projected himself as a type of person and he has to live up to it.

Even then,

what was good about before was he would go on the bullshit and bring back the bluster.

Yeah.

Now, he's forgotten that step and he's just going full bluster.

Full bluster.

From Beau's autobiography, quote, in my mind's eye, I could see Kunsaw as some giant Star Wars style Job of the Hut living in a jungle-covered Tosh Mahal, slurping up virgins surrounded by an army of apocalypse now type mercenaries.

This is so unacceptable for this to end up in your own book.

This is his book.

In my mind's eye, I was picturing Jabba the Hut.

Imagine the guy who like showed him Star Wars.

He's like, that was a fucking mistake.

Yes, wars, stars, good.

So he's surprised to be met by a short, normal-looking guy from Myanmar smoking a cigarette and wearing combat fatigues.

Luckily, luckily for Bo,

he loves the shits, but he loves the Bo's like rolling in like a tough guy.

You're crazy.

I love it.

He graciously welcomed Bo into his home/slash army base place.

What?

It's working?

Yeah, because

this is the type of guy you're like, look at this crazy asshole.

Like, you don't.

You're like, look, game respects game.

Yeah.

Good for you.

Bo, quote, I noticed the throbbing vein in his neck and now thought how easy it would be to rid the world of its most infamous drug lord.

I could break a stack of seven bricks.

Koonsaw's neck would snap like a twig.

Is that Koonsaw who he's talking to?

So he literally walks in and the fucking leader is like, come on, you live here.

Well, if I'm Bo,

I, Dennis Rodman, North Korea, that shit right there.

I'm like, I'm not going to leave.

Yeah.

This is awesome.

Yeah.

This is great.

Yeah.

Luckily for Kunsaw, Bo held himself back from snapping the neck.

So the two men start talking and immediately about

the army of POW slaves.

And as the cameras roll, Kunsaw waved his hand away in a ridiculous way that says, it's just a rumor.

When you're the world's most infamous drug lord, tall tales get woven around you.

See, here's why he's telling the truth.

He's like, I'm the drug lord.

Yeah, I don't need that.

I'm a big drug lord.

Why would I need that?

He's confessing to like the crime.

He's like, I have 10,000 men.

Why would I need a couple hundred guys to just bring trouble on me?

Like, why would I do that?

Just release a couple of them.

Put two of them in Whiteface and hand them to me.

But Bo's not done.

And Koonsaw clearly had a light schedule that day because they keep talking for another two hours.

There's footage,

yeah, apparently.

Yeah,

did you see the game last night?

So the thing they talked the most about was the fact that the biggest customers for heroin in the world were working for the U.S.

government.

It's just

this is this is honestly so good that it's happening.

Kunsa named names: CIA agent, CIA agents,

Daniel Arnold and Jerry Daniels, CIA Deputy Director for Covert Operations, Ted Shackley, and lastly, Bo's enemy, Richard Armitage.

Armitage, it would turn out, was the bag man who brought in the dirty money to be laundered at the Newgenhan Bank of Australia.

So Bo's gone on a VOW fighting mission that doesn't exist, but because he just walked into this

drug lord zone, he is now getting

the details of who in the CIA is buying all of the heroin illegally for the drug lord that they sent him to release the prisoners from.

That's right.

He's actually doing good work.

I don't think that

I don't.

Would you classify this as good work?

Yes,

it is because it's like, yeah.

No, because the guy who sent him

was

the National Security Council staff officer, Tom Harvey.

So he probably doesn't know that the CIA is

but I mean good work for like us.

Yes, in the greater good he's actually doing,

I was just answering your question of like, the government is doing it to itself.

No, it's different parts of the government.

Like they they didn't send him knowing

that he would.

It's different parts.

So, the guy who sent him didn't know that he would.

Yeah.

But it's great.

Because, like, if you have two hours of footage of them being like, here are all the people in the CIA who are buying heroin.

You're like, what?

That's good to know.

So, Kunzaw offers an olive branch to America and all its citizens who are suffering from all the heroin addiction.

He's just like, which one's my camera?

For $150 million

and the recognition of a state for his ethnic group, Kunso would destroy all the heroin.

Now, okay.

If you're America, this is a good deal.

No, you don't want that.

Well, yeah, if you're like in earnest, if you're like a regular person, this is a good deal.

It's a good deal.

But the government is obviously like, no, we need that.

Well, because that's, yeah,

this is what they're using heroin and cocaine to profit their shit over whatever.

So Bo couldn't believe this gold mine of information.

He rushed back to the States and sent a copy of the tape to the White House and was quickly told, quote, Bo, there's no one here who supports that.

Bo was devastated.

Quote, almost immediately, the sky began to fall.

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One of the cameramen was loyal compatriot of Bose named Scott Weakley, and he was in charge of making poison darts for Operation Lazarus Omega.

Yeah, right.

Okay, so he was the guy who made the, he was like the cue.

Although maybe, maybe we have never seen these tapes.

I had the wrong exposure level.

Okay, whatever.

So

I should have figured out before.

I should have talked to Josh before.

This was actually.

Because it gets so confusing as to what's what we know is real and what isn't real.

What's Bo's real and what's real.

Right.

So one of the cameramen was a lawyer, but we do know the CIA was

trafficked drugs, so whatever.

One of the cameramen was a loyal compatriot of Bo's named Scott Weakley in charge of making poison darts for Operation

Lazarus Omega.

He had helped Bo train the future Taliban, and his nickname was Dr.

Death.

We're now in a Marvel cartoon.

Once Dr.

Death arrived home in San Diego, he was picked up by the ATF and Customs Department, who proceeded to tell him that Bo sold weapons to Iran while he was working in South America.

Essentially, they're saying that Bo did Iran-Contra.

So many hits.

Now, this is before the scandal broke.

So they're accusing him of doing Ran Contra before Iran Contra break.

This was mainstream.

Desperate to get Dr.

Death to testify against Bo, they popped him with a charge, traveling with 200 pounds of explosive.

Now,

that is a wild accusation, but it is also kind of true.

What?

Because that's what they were using to train the Afghans on behalf of members of the U.S.

military.

Oh, my God.

There is so much going on.

Once you get up into the high idiot echelons,

there's so few people doing the dumbest shit that they all kind of know each other.

Right.

That's what I learned by reading the Oliver North book and reading other stuff is that there's really just a small group of these fucking idiots doing really dumb shit.

Right.

Yeah.

Which is good.

Yeah, it's really great.

It's like how, it's like how America's, you know, 21 companies.

It's like, yeah.

So Bo recalls talking to Scott in a pretrial hearing.

Call, I shouldn't call him Scott, right?

I was going to say, I mean, the guy went to medical school for so long.

You're right.

Bo recalls talking to Dr.

Death in a pretrial holding, quote,

they were trying to get me to stop talking about Kuhn Saw.

Don't believe anything the government says to you.

It was all a setup.

The day he appeared before the judge, those U.S.

agents did not show up for him.

And the judge, instead of dismissing the charges, gave him five years at Lompock.

Gave Bo?

No, Dr.

Death.

Oh, Dr.

Death, right, of course.

But that's scary for all

the inmates.

For sure.

Don't buy toilet paper off of Dr.

Death.

Come on.

Get it.

Do you guys want some cool soaps?

So Bo's friend called to warn him, and the call was tapped by Major Chuck Johnson with the National Security Agency, who quoted Bo's best friend in an affidavit:

They say you're in for a real shit blizzard unless you knock off all current activities.

You've got no option.

You're going to get taken care of.

You got to erase and forget everything.

You are going to hurt the government and get hurt unless you do exactly as I say.

I cannot believe he is now in this

level of

important now.

He's important, but this, this just

like

if you read about the shit the government does,

they don't take it to the level.

I mean, I mean, these idiots that I'm talking about, the Oliver Norris and these guys, they never take it to the level of I'm going to kill a Beau, a Beau Greites who knows too much.

They never kind of

like the CIA would, but we're not talking about the CIA.

The CIA would, yeah, they'd be like, yeah, okay, but not these idiots.

So whatever.

Though, quote, the government, my government was saying, you erase and forget, or we're going to bury you.

It made me angry.

If you want to do something, tell me I can't.

And that's exactly what I'm going to start to do.

Okay, we want you to do it.

Fuck.

Good.

God damn it.

I feel like I really set myself up for that one.

And we want you to bring a lot of journalists with you when you do it.

Son of a bitch.

And

no, I won't.

Fuck.

Hold on.

We want you to try it now.

No, no, no.

Don't.

I'm not going to do it.

Good.

I won't.

Good.

No reporters.

Good.

Fuck.

No way, bad.

Yes.

Damn it.

For two years, the next two years, the shit blizzard dumped down on Bo's head.

The government.

Desperate to get something on him, charged him with using the passport of another.

He probably did do that.

He probably did.

Come on.

Well, it's actually bullshit because because of his work, he was given three passports and he used them because he was supposed to.

Right.

Finally, in April of 1989, there was a grand.

But again, remember, he's doing stuff where they said...

Never mind.

I can't.

I'm so, I'm so confused by how much bullshit is going on.

So finally, in April of 1989, there was a grand jury trial and 19 separate witnesses were called against Bo.

But his lawyers noticed something.

The U.S.

attorney brought the wrong charges against Bo.

Ah, so the case was dismissed.

There's no way they didn't do that on purpose.

There's no way they didn't do that on purpose.

They had to have done the

U.S.

attorneys are so fucking on top.

They don't take you to trial unless they have you fucking.

So, what is the pitch there?

Why would they do that?

I don't know, but that just seems like really weird to me that a U.S.

attorney would do that.

It's just clerical error.

And by the way, that is not like a typo.

That's like a.

It's so egregious.

All right.

So he stole a lot of bikes.

Wait,

here.

No.

when when reporters asked the u.s attorney why he even went forward with the case he replied quote george bush called me up and told me to get bow gright

that's vp bush right right that's bush one wow

as a man who has seen several conspiracies perpetrated by the united states government and who has been hounded in an attempt to silence him one can forgive bow for wading into some of other conspiracy theories

but during the debacle of a trial, Bo didn't just wait.

He jumped headfirst into conspiracy.

Oh, God.

So,

yeah,

whatever was left of him is now broken.

This is bad.

Now he's cue.

Now he's cueing.

From a friend, quote, one morning, Bo wakes up.

Bo wakes me up, all excited.

Coffee's brown cocaine.

Reading me passages from a book called The Gods of Eden.

The Gods of Eden is about how ancient aliens created war and religion as population control, and now the brotherhood of the snake was formed in Sumeria to try and stop them.

Do you understand?

We're Sumerian Brotherhood.

How did you sleep?

Fuck.

So now.

So now he's up all night reading books.

Now he's now he's reading books.

He's gone.

He's gone.

By the way, wasn't here.

No.

Dad, do you realize that we're actually all just snakes from Sumeria?

But

we're near the episode, the middle of of episode two of three.

And now we're episode two of three.

We're at the midpoint.

Yeah.

We're about to

sense of him like wearing human flesh, just like, I am the double God.

Bo now believed that JFK was killed by Nazi bomb makers, that AIDS was created by the federal government, that Jonestown was a MK Ultra product, a project, where in his special time, sorry, where in his time as special forces commander in south america he saw troops deployed to the airstrip to act as exterminators who were there to destroy the evidence he became more christian especially leaning towards the conspirators conspiratorial side like his belief about barcodes quote oh my god dave can i have a minute i think we're going to see a literal mark of the beast i think it'll be part of the globalist cashless system i was on a radio program the other day and a lady came on and says, you know, it sounds so easy.

I'll have this mark.

I'll go down to the grocery store.

I don't have to carry money.

This sounds wonderful.

I said, yes, ma'am, but if you accept this system, the smoke of your torment rises forever.

Are you talking to me?

Are you talking to me right now?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I just, what do you mean?

Because I'm just going to go pay.

You want to pay with

your

mark?

No, I just want to pay with a cut.

There will be a mark on whatever I'm buying.

Yeah, well, that's the smoke of torment that's going to eat you alive in your soul.

From the Cheerios?

Well, you were inviting the darkness of the Satan to come and take

everything.

Should I just pay with a cash?

I'd use cash.

Okay, well, that's what it is.

I'm glad we met.

That first part of that is so Alex Jonesed.

Yeah, this is very Alex Jonesy.

Man, a lot of people go down this.

It's crazy that we have survived this long with so many people.

Well, it's pretty much over.

But no, it is because,

you know, the truth is, it's like, there's like early Alex Jones, like early, where you're like, oh, yeah, exactly.

Yeah.

Like where you're like, yeah, it's exactly right.

It's so fucked up.

And then now he's like, we are the frogs are aliens.

This is the globalist agenda.

Well, because once you once you accept that the U.S.

government is

there's a lot of fucking heinous stuff going on, it's not what you're taught in school.

It's just other entity,

then there's nothing to hold on to anymore.

And I think that's where we're peaking right now is like everybody from

pretty much this political spectrum, there's still like some hangers-on, obviously, but so many, even though Trump's approval rating's up with Republicans, but so many people now are like, this is bullshit.

And then they start finding out what's bullshit.

And they're like, exactly.

It's king tut.

So he and his wife, who

she's now old enough to rent a car,

she, they leaned into the religious thing.

Wait, who?

Bo's wife?

Yeah, remember?

She was 16 when they got married.

Well, she can, she's older.

How long ago was that?

That was a while ago.

She's probably late 20s now.

Oh my God.

Phil, I feel like, I feel like right now, honestly, in my math, Bo's 88.

He's not.

So they're learning into the religious thing more,

and they convert to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

So they become Mormons.

Good.

So Bo is keeping his name alive by giving talks and survivalist trainings around the country.

And he has a pretty big popularity among increasingly more fringe elements of the right wing.

So when someone asked him to run for vice president on the populist party ticket, he jumped at it without asking questions.

He was just like, fuck yeah, I'll be VP.

He probably should have asked who was on the president part of the ticket.

David Duke.

It's grand, KKK Grand Wizard David Duke.

Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Oh, fuck.

So it took him a little bit

to come around and realize it's probably a bad thing, but he eventually decides to

drop off the ticket.

Man,

when you've lost Bo,

bro.

He called, after he dropped out, he called Duke, quote, bigoted garbage dumped into a perfectly good container.

I mean, all right, we could compliment him on something again.

When asked why he joined in the first place, Bo said, quote, I didn't know anything about the Ku Klux Klan.

That's impossible.

Come on.

That's impossible.

Impossible.

Even without Google.

I thought they were a club of guys who wore costume.

Yeah.

Hello, David.

I'm excited to work with you.

Oh, cool.

Cool outfit.

What is this for?

Are we going trick-or-treating?

I'm a little lost.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

You're a cyclop.

You're a wit.

What are we doing

all right well let's go get this candy are you a real wizard or is this a photo op what are we doing why are we dressed like this let me see my bag of pig bones we look like ear candles

from a friend of bone's regarding him joining the presidential ticket with the kkk chief quote this guy who has so much strength and decency and courage and conviction tripping on his dick almost every turn he makes.

So many people who have so much reverence for the guy agonizing over watching him do these things that are, and there's no other word for it, stupid.

I mean, he is tripping over his dick.

He's not tripping over his dick.

I guess that is the thing is, like,

but he's saying he has this great conviction, but I also feel like in the first part, it was so much grifting.

But is it this?

This seems to me like

it's just a quest for fame.

Right.

So when he gets asked to be on the presidential ticket, he's like, yes,

yes.

Not really

being like, oh, this could actually be worse for me.

He just hears presidential ticket.

It just seems like everything he does, he just wants to.

He's a fame climber.

Yeah.

After bailing on the populist party, Bo jumped into the two-party system and ran as a Republican for the congressional representative of Las Vegas.

Wow.

Unfortunately, he tripped on his dick again.

Oh, gosh.

When he chose his campaign manager, David Duke.

David, I've never heard of you, but I'm excited to see what you can do, kiddo.

Quote, his campaign manager is a real screwball.

He's bragging of having once been a drug dealer.

And I'm standing there in Bo's kitchen thinking, what?

Then in the middle of the campaign, he goes to jail for 30 days for his misuse of a rental car and writing bad checks.

I love that

you

he didn't make a swap after the 30.

He was like, I'm hanging in there with this 30-day rental car.

When you get into these right-wing circles, it's so full of these crazy,

just lawless gumbacks.

That's why a lot of them end up there because, I mean, at least it used to be that, like, you know, the Democratic Party had some sort of standard.

So it was like, it was where you would go to

reinvent yourself.

And like, it is like the church in that way, where it's just like, you know, people go there when they Stephen Baldwin because they're like, all right, everything's shitty.

I love God.

Yeah.

In 1992, Bo aims higher, and he wins the presidency.

Space presidency.

He wins the presidential spot on the populist party ticket.

That's the one that had David Duke earlier.

Yeah, but now he's the presidential candidate.

Oh, okay.

Sure.

But not tainted at all.

It's not tarnished at any rate.

Yeah, it's fine.

Okay.

He uses the slogan guns, God, and Grits.

I mean, you could see that on a truck today.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Unlike his predecessor, Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, David Duke, Bo's platform attempted to actually be a little populist.

He called it the Bill of Grites.

I don't hate it.

I'm sure I hate what's in it, but I don't hate it.

Bo on what he believed, in quote, if we would have stayed out of Guatemala, for example, the United Fruit Company would have suffered a little bit, but Guatemala would not have lost tens of thousands of people killed by CIA-supported and inspired police actions.

Certainly, we would never have gone along with NAFTA,

those kinds of things.

So, this is where they get me.

I know.

Because you're like, yeah.

It's like Marjorie Taylor Greene right now, right?

They say things, and you're like, I agree with that, yeah, but

all of their solutions, all of their other stuff is fucking heinous.

No, they get to they get to the just like, yeah, exactly.

She'll say something, you'll be like, Exactly.

She's like, Jews have laser, you're like, No,

fuck, no,

his VP choice was a man named Cy Minute,

Minette, maybe Minutes, Mute,

M, M, I'm, M-I-N-E-T-T,

M-I-N-E-T-T.

I think it's Minette.

Minute.

Minette.

Let's do Minute.

I agree.

Minute.

Where is he?

He'll be right back.

A

63-year-old fighter pilot who Bo described as, quote, a lot better looking than me and harder than Woodpecker Lips.

Because of the pecking.

Cy was also a speaker.

Please tell me this guy goes to jail.

Cy was also a speaker on the Christian Conspiracy Circuit, selling cassette tapes with speeches like The Fearful Fed, an expose on bloodletting money changers.

That's very that seems very

anti-Semitic.

I was just about to say, it feels very

smell of anti-Semitism.

Veiled.

Barely veiled.

Barely veiled.

In the middle of the campaign, Sai convinced Bo to fly to the Tehachapi Mountains north of Los Angeles to meet with Hatton, the eight and a half foot reptile-like commander of the playads.

I mean,

go back to David Duke.

Dave,

I just.

Dave, Dave, David.

But you read this stuff and you go, yeah, of course they think there's Jew lasers setting the mountains on fire.

Like they're fucking lunatics.

I mean, look,

if your vice president asks you to go to a mountain to meet an eight and a half tall lizard king

commander.

Commander, you got to be like, look, I don't know if this is right.

Quote, oh no.

We got into this little storefront and Sai says, now I just want to verify this.

Hatton himself is going to walk in and meet us.

And the person said, yes, he'll be here.

He's running a little late.

He's just finishing up growing pants.

A woman who calls herself Dharma sat down at the table and said, Very quickly, without any fanfare, I am present.

And I thought, shoot, we got a changeling thing going on here.

And Sai said, Are you eight and a half feet?

And she said, No, no, I'm actually nine and a half feet.

So, obviously, it's not a great campaign.

What the fuck is happening?

If you're going to have, if you're going to go with the lizard people,

which I believe the lizard people is just pure anti-Semitism.

But if you're going to go with the lizard people thing,

why do they appear as humans?

I don't.

Yeah.

Like, why are you making them lizard people if they're because it's, I don't know.

I've never wanted to get, never wanted to read about or get into the lizard people conspiracy because I just, it's like so funk on, like, I'm not going to waste my time reading one article about what the fuck those people think.

I've read some and it's insane.

Yeah.

So you're talking about like the David Icke shit.

Because David Icke.

Or maybe not.

Well, he's the guy who came up with reptilians.

Oh, he is.

Yeah.

And then that, yeah, then that.

That's what it is.

Yeah.

Conspiracy ran rampant through Bo's presidential campaign.

Journalist Adam Parfait spoke to several campaign workers who said their phones were tapped and someone was opening their mail.

Imagine just

a whole presidential campaign of just all conspiracy people.

How gross.

Oh my God.

I would love to work there just to fuck

all conspiracies.

Bo's San Diego campaign coordinator claimed, quote, the CIA shot at my house.

They're trying to get rid of me.

But when Parfait asked the coordinator's wife, she shot back with, quote, that's a lot of bull crap.

It was just gang members.

No, it was not.

It was the CIA.

And the lizards.

The lizards?

Fuck.

I can't talk right now.

She doesn't know what's going on.

My wife is being so negative.

I think my wife's a lizard.

I'm pretty sure.

They got her.

Hey, hon, how tall are you?

5'9.

Shit.

During this time, Bo was getting close with Pastor Pete Peters, spending time.

Hey, your name's real, right?

Yeah!

You promise?

Spending time at his Christian compound in the Rockies.

Peters was leader of the Christian identity movement, which is based upon the belief that white European Anglo-Saxons were the true Israelites and Jews are satanic imposters.

He and Beau and all their friends were, in fact, the real chosen people.

This is, of course, the same movement of Matt Shea,

a part of episode from episode 381.

Right.

Okay.

So if you remember the Matt Shay episode, now he's hanging with those bros.

I just,

in my head,

Bo

is,

he's,

he's not on board with all these people.

Like, in my head, he's kind of like,

wait, what?

Yeah.

Like, he's like, I'm crazy, but I got like a very specific crazy.

No, but he's now gone down the crazy road.

So he's in.

Yeah, he went from being

a guy who hung out with his ghost dad

to now like just being like, but that's like what happens.

It would be so great to show the grandma where he ended up.

See?

That's why you don't put a kid in a plane with a ghost dad, you idiot.

So Bo and Peters

differed on one thing.

Peters had a book called Death Penalty for Homosexuals is Prescribed in the Bible,

which was dedicated to Bo.

What?

Oh, that's very nice.

That's an honor.

That's a very nice thing to do.

Because Bo told him that he would, quote, fight to the death to allow anyone their rights, including homosexuals.

Unfortunately, Bo slid a little bit to the pastor's side, trying to split the difference.

Quote: There are first-degree murderers that deserve to be electrocuted, and there are third-degree murderers that ought to be released.

There are first-degree homosexuals who probably should be skipping.

You're under arrest.

I've actually known some first-degree homosexuals.

Yeah,

They're the best ones.

They are.

They're fun.

I know at a party.

You have any idea why I pulled you over?

Shit.

A first-degree gay guy.

Pop the trunk, sir.

Gladly.

Are you first-degree or third-degree?

I'll suck anything.

Oh, it's the first degree.

All right, look.

They're going to drop the first-degree homosexual charge, but they're going to give you

a man's gay.

So there are first-degree homosexuals who probably should be skinned alive.

You find them at San Francisco.

Jesus Christ.

Yeah.

You find them at San Francisco making ads that say, we're going to pervert your sons and daughters.

We're going to commit these atrocities.

By the way, those ads were so common.

I don't know if people, like, if younger people don't remember how much, like,

I think gay people

try to make it seem like back then they just wanted to be left alone and do their own thing and have a culture that they enjoyed.

You know what they wanted.

They were trying to

be accepted and not be fucking bothered.

That's it.

They had posters everywhere talking about how they wanted to wait until night and then they wanted to take your sons and daughters and gay them up.

I lived in San Francisco and there were posters everywhere that were like, Billboard, when you sleep, we're coming for your boys.

We will take your children and we will give them the gay potion.

Much like the American government would take Native American kids and give them to white parents to raise.

No, different.

It's

the same thing

with the gay

agenda cult.

It's always that shit where it's like, look, as long as I don't try to kiss me.

Yeah.

Well, also, like,

this is no different than what they do with cities today, right?

So he just made up something that is happening in the city and then says, you know.

It's a problem.

Take him out as far as I'm concerned.

And it's like, no, you just made up something to get mad at.

They're doing the same thing today.

No difference.

Constantly.

I mean, that's pretty much all they do.

Yeah.

By far the most notable moment on Bo's campaign, perhaps the biggest moment of his life, was the standoff between federal agents and white separatists in a small home in northern Idaho in the mountains in an area called Ruby Ridge.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Okay, that'll be part three.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

I might start smoking.

Oh, God.

Did you want to do sources again or whatever?

Oh, yeah.

Sources for

this episode.

First of all, Josh Andruski wrote it.

A Revolution of Small Guns by Adam Parfait is Sandy Go Reader.

Prisoners of Hope by Susan Katz-Keating.

That's a book.

And Ruby Ridge, Part 3, Fear and Faith by Corey Broshnahan and PBS American Experience.

Hey, dollop fans.

I know you love the dollop.

You love listening to the dollop.

Do you want to watch the dollop?

You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about?

By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth.

Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation, and we are starting to animate some of our episodes.

So if you want to go watch a five-parter animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, I can't remember, of the Rube, you can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube.

It really genuinely kicks ass, and we're very proud of it.

And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better better chance we have of making a lot more of them.

We're already making a second one, so go there and watch the Rube.

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