695 - Albert Okura

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Speaker 11 You're listening to the dollop on the all what's wrong with you, things comedy network. This is an American history podcast.
Each week, I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to a pig.

Speaker 6 Gareth Reynolds, Oinky Oinky, listeners who has no idea what the topic is going to be about.

Speaker 6 Um,

Speaker 6 I want to tell you about my day before we start.

Speaker 6 Okay,

Speaker 6 I uh

Speaker 6 drove

Speaker 6 from new york and i'm headed to nashville and i mean the fire smoke

Speaker 6 yeah

Speaker 6 so

Speaker 6 so bad

Speaker 6 that it was like my you know it was apparently this it's not good for you

Speaker 6 so um

Speaker 11 Well, wait, though, you know that Republicans are taking care of this because they sent a letter to Canada, state of Congress.

Speaker 11 No, because sent a letter to Canada saying that they have to rake their forests and stuff.

Speaker 6 Yes. However, on top of that, the problem is that

Speaker 6 they're not going to, it's very complicated and nuanced what's happening with the

Speaker 6 I think it's safe to say the Republican government right now.

Speaker 6 If you're a state that is

Speaker 6 anti-Israel,

Speaker 6 you're not going to be getting help when it comes to your own disaster, you know, relief efforts. So I might have been driving through some of these democratic horseshit zones.

Speaker 6 So they're kind of screwed in their own right. But obviously, look, we're all for fighting Canada.
But so I'm driving to

Speaker 6 avoid the fires. And I'm just, I'm like with Luke, and I'm like, we just have to head south.
I'm like, we like, we're going along like, you know, Ways is taking us

Speaker 6 kind of west before we go south.

Speaker 11 And I was like, we got it just now because you're driving right into it then.

Speaker 6 It's it's so bad,

Speaker 6 and um,

Speaker 6 and it's depressing, obviously. And my eyes are really red

Speaker 6 because it's

Speaker 6 the fact that it's it's you know, it's that it's happening, so it's like really happening, and uh, and that's depressing.

Speaker 6 AI is

Speaker 6 great, AI's got a good plan, obviously. Um, AI's AI's got a great plan.

Speaker 6 But so then we find, so I'm like, so we find this little town called Worcester in, I guess, in Ohio. I don't even know.

Speaker 11 I don't think it's. Oh, it's not Massachusetts.
It's not.

Speaker 6 No, no, like in like,

Speaker 6 so it's like,

Speaker 6 so we're going to be.

Speaker 11 It's a fake Worcester. Yeah.

Speaker 6 It's, look, it's got. a really good mall energy.
And

Speaker 6 so we drive here and then, dude, I'm at the front desk. And, you know, it's like,

Speaker 6 you know, I mean, I'm just, I said we would start at whatever time we were going to start at. So I'm like, I have plenty of time, 20 minutes.
I'm like, that'll be fine, all that. And

Speaker 6 man, the front desk experience was like, wow. So fire drove me to here.
And then I had this experience with

Speaker 6 the woman who was checking me in who literally with my California ID three different times confirmed that the address on the ID was in the United States. And

Speaker 6 the third time,

Speaker 6 I go, Miss, it is a California driver's license. I was like, that address has to be in the United States.
And she was just confounded, like, I don't know.

Speaker 6 And then

Speaker 6 offered me an extra bottle of water as a maya culpa, which I was like,

Speaker 11 well, you sound really sick.

Speaker 6 Yeah, well, she was the picture of health for sure.

Speaker 11 Well, it sounds like you had a true American experience, and

Speaker 11 I think you should be happy that you got to experience freedom.

Speaker 6 December 3rd, 1951,

Speaker 11 year of our Lord J-Town, who's taking some time off.

Speaker 6 Yeah, we're in. Let's go already.
We're like, it's time, dude.

Speaker 11 albert ryu okura

Speaker 11 was born in wilmington california near long beach

Speaker 6 okay

Speaker 11 his grandparents uh left japan uh for southern california in 1910 and albert's father toyoshi was a star player on the San Pedro Skippers, which was a semi-pro Japanese American Baseball League team.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 11 So I like the dad.

Speaker 6 That's who cares?

Speaker 11 He's a star player.

Speaker 6 So

Speaker 11 when World War II started,

Speaker 11 he was already in the dad. He's already in the army.

Speaker 6 I have a bad feeling.

Speaker 11 He avoided being sent to Japanese internment camps because he's already in the army.

Speaker 6 All right.

Speaker 6 I think that let that be a message. Thank you.

Speaker 6 Future

Speaker 6 internment

Speaker 6 possible entrants.

Speaker 6 If you can embrace our sport well enough,

Speaker 6 no, no, no, keep your hold on.

Speaker 11 No, it's not because of the sports, it's because of the

Speaker 11 he's in the army, not because he's a baseball group.

Speaker 6 Okay, so all right, all right. Let's just rejigger this.
Yeah, so if you're willing to, uh, if you're willing to fight on our behalf in a war,

Speaker 6 you're fine you're good to go

Speaker 11 although not really because now guys who did that are still being rounded up and put into concentration back then

Speaker 6 back then back then that was i'm not saying now

Speaker 6 now

Speaker 6 just it's time for white face

Speaker 11 Albert had an idyllic childhood in Wilmington. He had a bicycle, a paper route.
Mostly spent his money on baseball carts. Typical kid, right?

Speaker 6 Sure.

Speaker 11 Comic Comic books. He loved hamburgers.

Speaker 11 Well, of hamburgers.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I know. That's definitely.

Speaker 6 Now,

Speaker 11 Gareth, in the 1950s, a burger was about 29 cents.

Speaker 6 Yeah, okay, sure. Oh, boy.

Speaker 11 And when Albert was 10, the first McDonald's opened nearby.

Speaker 11 It sold 15 cent hamburgers.

Speaker 6 Okay, it's cheaper. Hella cheaper.

Speaker 11 About a buck fifty-nine today, that would be the comparison. Okay, so every Sunday, Albert's family went to McDonald's to the drive-in for dinner.

Speaker 6 To the drive-through or the drive-in?

Speaker 11 Drive-in.

Speaker 6 Okay, so they got McDonald's and then went to the drive-in.

Speaker 11 No, the McDonald's was a drive-in.

Speaker 6 A car. Drive-in.

Speaker 6 Oh, oh, like a little, they people come to the window. Yes.

Speaker 6 All right, we're on the same page.

Speaker 11 I don't know if we are. And so Albert loves.

Speaker 6 Can I take a timeout?

Speaker 6 Come on. Let's connect a little bit.
You seem to be a little bit more.

Speaker 11 You seem like you came out of a fire and you haven't recovered.

Speaker 6 Yeah, but you're attacking me for something that's out of my power.

Speaker 6 Knowledge? It's not my fault that I drove through fire.

Speaker 6 Be my buddy.

Speaker 6 Look. Be my pal.

Speaker 11 I don't give sympathy to comics on the road.

Speaker 6 What does that even mean?

Speaker 12 What is wrong with you?

Speaker 6 Who are you?

Speaker 11 Brothers Richard and Maurice McDonald opened the original McDonald's barbecue in San Bernardino in 1940.

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 6 How are you guys liking those ribless rib sandwiches?

Speaker 6 You muted yourself.

Speaker 6 Or maybe God finally stepped in.

Speaker 6 Luke, listen, Luke.

Speaker 11 Can you mute him in the background?

Speaker 6 That's not possible. There should be one of those.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 11 So it's a drive-in with car hops, as we explain, and it did very well, but the brothers got tired of constantly looking for new car hops and new short-order cooks because the old ones would leave for higher-paying jobs.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 11 Disgusting. So instead of because you can, there is an answer here.
Do you see the answer?

Speaker 6 Yeah, kill the kill the kill them.

Speaker 6 Stop them. Nope.

Speaker 6 They are your enemies.

Speaker 6 Once you hire. No, hold on.
Once you hire a person, they are your indentured servant forever.

Speaker 6 You're lucky to get any scraps.

Speaker 11 No, you could just pay them more. Leave me, boy.

Speaker 6 Leave me, boy.

Speaker 11 You pay them more, so they stay.

Speaker 6 Burgers?

Speaker 6 Well, I've touched a burger to the back of my hand. Taste it.
Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 6 You.

Speaker 6 Dirty.

Speaker 11 The brothers were also tired of teenagers.

Speaker 6 Suck my dick, boy.

Speaker 11 What are you doing?

Speaker 6 How dare you? Higher wages.

Speaker 6 I'll take your penis.

Speaker 11 Okay, so far,

Speaker 11 it's weird.

Speaker 11 Why would you

Speaker 6 do it?

Speaker 11 Okay, all right.

Speaker 11 Uh, the brothers are also tired of teen customers breaking or stealing the glasses and the dishes.

Speaker 6 The glasses

Speaker 6 and the dishes,

Speaker 11 yeah, they they it would come out on a tray and it was glasses and dishes.

Speaker 6 I mean, again, that's what you do. I remember when they do you remember when they used to have the like foil ashtrays at McDonald's?

Speaker 6 Oh, boy, did I steal a lot of those?

Speaker 11 Uh, I think I might have two from a Joe.

Speaker 6 We were a a jack in the box family,

Speaker 6 you people,

Speaker 6 yeah, what

Speaker 11 in 1948, the McDonald's brothers fired. Oh, I already did that.
Um,

Speaker 11 oh, sorry, so it I didn't do this in 1948, uh, they fired their car hops and they closed down for three months, so they shut everything down,

Speaker 6 okay,

Speaker 11 and they revamped McDonald's

Speaker 11 and it came back as a self-service drive-in, no car hops, cut out the labor.

Speaker 11 And they had a radically new way of preparing food with the division of labor, like a factory assembly line. Now employees only need to be trained to do one task.

Speaker 11 Skilled and expensive short-order cooks no longer needed.

Speaker 6 So they figured out a way to get around the labor. Right.

Speaker 11 So the brothers also replaced dishes and glassware with paper cups, bags, and plates.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 6 All great.

Speaker 11 Items eaten with a knife, spoon, or fork were gone.

Speaker 11 Menu is now down to just the top-selling items you can hold in your dirty little hands.

Speaker 11 Yum. To attract the young families, they stopped hiring women, worried that they'd attract the teenage, all the teenage bros to the restaurants.
So they got rid of, get rid of the teenage bros.

Speaker 6 What a great barometer for a functioning society.

Speaker 6 The women will be harassed. They're unirable.

Speaker 11 Well, then we can't have women around.

Speaker 6 Young men will come. Look, look, look.
Men are rapey. No more women.

Speaker 11 So with the new small menu and the patented speedy service system,

Speaker 11 it does better.

Speaker 11 A lot better. And pretty soon they expand expand to seven locations across Southern California and Arizona.

Speaker 6 Let's go.

Speaker 11 And the McDonald's method becomes a blueprint for the rapidly growing fast food industry, which directly inspires Taco Bell and Carls Jr. and obviously many others.

Speaker 6 Disgusting.

Speaker 11 So now, Gareth, in 1954, Ray Kroc comes to a McDonald's for the first time.

Speaker 11 He's

Speaker 11 52 years old. He's diabetic.
He's an alcoholic. He's a high school dropout.

Speaker 6 He's a man

Speaker 6 in the 1950s.

Speaker 11 He's getting it done.

Speaker 6 He's a 1950s white man.

Speaker 11 He's a sales guy.

Speaker 11 You don't need a background. You just got to talk.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 11 The past couple of years, he had been selling a milkshake machine called the Multi-Mixer.

Speaker 6 Sure.

Speaker 11 Sure, sure, sure. And that could make six at once.

Speaker 6 Six milkshakes at once?

Speaker 11 Malts. Malts.

Speaker 6 six at once, called malts. Then

Speaker 11 the San Bernardino McDonald's had 12 of these machines, and so Kroc

Speaker 11 just couldn't believe that a place needed so many, so he went there to see why they needed so many of these machines.

Speaker 6 That's crazy, sure. It's a lot of malts.

Speaker 11 So, adding to McDonald's corporate

Speaker 11 history,

Speaker 11 according to McDonald's corporate history, Kroc,

Speaker 11 quote, had an epiphany, and he was determined that his future would be in hamburgers.

Speaker 11 I mean, that's a big moment for a

Speaker 6 young old man. Yeah.

Speaker 11 Yes, it's very dumb.

Speaker 6 My future's hamburgers. Are you going to order?

Speaker 6 Sir.

Speaker 11 No, I'm thinking of the future.

Speaker 6 Hold on. I'm not going to order.
I'm going to order all of them. Sir.

Speaker 6 Sir.

Speaker 11 Every hamburger from now

Speaker 11 until hundreds of years, honestly.

Speaker 6 The guy in front of me is having a stroke.

Speaker 11 I foresee hundreds of thousands of franchises as

Speaker 6 just tells me the future's burgers, and he's the guy who's going to bring them together.

Speaker 6 Money!

Speaker 6 Oh my god. He just houses the free ketchup.

Speaker 6 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 11 Why? What are we doing?

Speaker 6 Trying to.

Speaker 6 You just were saying how that your future is hamburgers.

Speaker 6 Is this the origin of the hamburgler? This feels like his story.

Speaker 11 Well, he's going to come up. Oh, good.

Speaker 11 So.

Speaker 6 He

Speaker 11 convinced the brothers to let him open franchises in other states.

Speaker 6 Interesting.

Speaker 11 And Kroc and the brothers opened the first national McDonald's franchise in De Plains, Illinois.

Speaker 11 By the end of the millennium.

Speaker 6 That was where Herve Velechez was from. Oh, is it really?

Speaker 11 Oh, I see what you're doing.

Speaker 6 No, no. By the end of.

Speaker 6 Can you enjoy it? It's a good little bit. It's a nice one.
Talk about nuggets.

Speaker 11 By the end of the 1950s, there were over 228 McDonald's in the USA.

Speaker 6 Okay. So

Speaker 11 that's pretty massive expansion.

Speaker 6 That's sad.

Speaker 6 Yes. It's sad how hard it catches on so quickly.

Speaker 11 Yeah, it is.

Speaker 6 It's sad that we're just

Speaker 6 groveling pieces of shit for just burgers.

Speaker 11 It's all about the weight. And without the weight,

Speaker 6 right? It's not

Speaker 6 without the weight comes the weight.

Speaker 6 Think about it.

Speaker 11 I did. I didn't.
It doesn't make sense.

Speaker 6 Without the weight

Speaker 6 comes the weight.

Speaker 11 In 1961, the year Albert ate his first McDonald's hamburger, Kroc borrowed money to buy out the McDonald's brothers for $2.7 million.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 11 The brothers sold the McDonald's brand and the name, but they refused to sell.

Speaker 11 Yes. They refused to sell real estate rights to a few of their old restaurants, including the original San Bernardino location.

Speaker 6 So they basically gave away everything except for a few restaurants.

Speaker 11 Well, they made a lot of money. I mean, that's retire money.

Speaker 6 Sure, they were done.

Speaker 11 They made it. Yeah, they definitely made a lot of money.

Speaker 11 So Kroc opened the McDonald's franchise nearby. And because he owned the name, he made the brothers change the name of their restaurant to Big M's.

Speaker 6 Big M's.

Speaker 11 So he's a dick.

Speaker 6 It's a dick move. Yeah, okay.
That's just a dick move. Yeah.
Well,

Speaker 6 like when a fucking piece of shit capitalist comes along to like regular people, it's not

Speaker 6 a competition. You're like, ah, ever.
Yeah. This guy sucks.

Speaker 11 So

Speaker 11 Kroc is a very good promoter. And he turned McDonald's into the world-destroying thing it is today.

Speaker 6 The beast. Nightmare.

Speaker 11 Now, he had met Walt Disney

Speaker 11 in World War II. They were both training to be ambulance drivers, so they were friends.

Speaker 6 That is crazy.

Speaker 11 And Kroc and Walt Disney both obsessed with cleanliness and control

Speaker 11 and very good at selling products to parents or kids or whatever, right?

Speaker 6 Sure.

Speaker 11 So his marketing innovations like publicity through charity, like the Ronald McDonald house.

Speaker 11 He had tie-ins with Disney movies, the NBA, the Olympics. It makes McDonald's the most recognizable thing.
It's all about his ability to promote.

Speaker 11 Today there's 13,000 in the U.S. and 40,000 in the world.

Speaker 6 That's awful.

Speaker 11 Really awful.

Speaker 6 Awful.

Speaker 11 So now Albert,

Speaker 11 he's a student still.

Speaker 11 He's okay. He's not a great student.

Speaker 11 He went to Junior College because he didn't want to be drafted into the Vietnam War.

Speaker 11 Yeah, he's back.

Speaker 11 So he doesn't want to be drafted in Vietnam. So he goes to Junior College, which I highly recommend for everybody if there's a war.
In 1971,

Speaker 11 Nixon dropped.

Speaker 11 Can you what?

Speaker 6 Could I do it?

Speaker 6 No, no, you're too old.

Speaker 11 They don't want you.

Speaker 6 Who, the Juco or the draft?

Speaker 11 The draft. Nobody wants you.

Speaker 6 The draft would be lucky to have me. First of all, I'm not going to serve.

Speaker 6 The draft would be lucky to have me.

Speaker 11 No, you would be totally useless.

Speaker 6 Absolutely not.

Speaker 6 I would be

Speaker 6 Mel Gibson and make a movie about me. That's how good I'd be.

Speaker 11 Anyway, we don't need to get to rail. Let me tell you why I wouldn't get drafted.
Well,

Speaker 11 here's why I wouldn't get drafted. Just ask me.

Speaker 11 You're the draft board.

Speaker 6 No, no, just ask me. Yeah, so yeah, we're pretty excited about you.

Speaker 11 Is there anything we we're really uh, yeah, I'm looking forward to getting in.

Speaker 11 I want to kill as many officers as possible, yeah, uh, not in training, I'll wait till we're out in the field, and then I will. I believe it's called, is it called fragmenting?

Speaker 11 You wouldn't be able to kill the enemy in our bearers, no, no, no, not the enemy, my own you're talking about killing

Speaker 6 American soldiers, yes.

Speaker 6 Well,

Speaker 6 sir, you're gonna fit right in, you're gonna fit

Speaker 6 You're going to fit right in.

Speaker 6 All right, now do me. Now try me.

Speaker 11 Is there anything we should know about you?

Speaker 6 I'm super in

Speaker 6 to poop.

Speaker 6 Well, welcome. Thank you.

Speaker 11 Welcome. We call you Ted Nugent.

Speaker 6 Thank you.

Speaker 6 Did you think that would get you out of this?

Speaker 6 No.

Speaker 6 I mean, yeah, let me try again.

Speaker 6 Go ahead.

Speaker 11 Go ahead, anything you want to say?

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I'm not into poop

Speaker 6 at all.

Speaker 11 Well, we aren't either, sir. Welcome to the military.

Speaker 6 Damn it.

Speaker 11 Do you know how many, do you know how many, if a war happens and they start the draft, how many trans people there will be in America?

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah. That'll be

Speaker 6 amazing. Boy, oh, boy.
That'll be amazing.

Speaker 6 It'll It'll be fine. You fucking watch the

Speaker 6 fucking like Chevy Silverados with the pride flag on the back finally covering their Declaration of Independence vocab.

Speaker 6 It's just like... All right, no, no, we're just going to need you to say the trans life matters.
Of course.

Speaker 6 I'm very.

Speaker 6 I'm trans.

Speaker 6 I am a trans.

Speaker 6 I'm a trans them.

Speaker 6 We looked on your Twitter bio and it just said he him still. I'm changing that.

Speaker 6 This just hit me.

Speaker 11 Okay, so in 1971, Nixon dropped the draft and then Albert dropped out of school because that's the only reason he was in school. Sure.

Speaker 11 And he starts working as an assistant manager at Burger King in Torrance. So he's

Speaker 6 kicking ass. He really loves hamburgers.

Speaker 11 He really wasn't kidding when I said hamburgers. Yep.
He quickly, he moves up the ranks. He becomes a store supervisor.
supervisor now at the time he was the only non-white person

Speaker 11 in uh bk management meetings

Speaker 6 okay

Speaker 11 uh but they don't talk about him in history books as far as like being that groundbreaking of a

Speaker 6 uh you know that's you know first asian american to be in burger king jackie robinson of burger king yeah thank you it's weird but albert never

Speaker 11 he doesn't really think of himself as a minority uh just a regular american that's how he views himself. He's just a regular old American.

Speaker 6 I'll be honest.

Speaker 6 That makes you not American. Ah, shit.
Yeah. That's a big part.
A big part of being an American is recognizing the race. So, unfortunately,

Speaker 6 we're going to have to let you go.

Speaker 11 Later, he would write, quote, I spent my whole life here. So the only thing I know about Asian countries is they are proud people and they don't like each other.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 11 Unlike Americans. Yep.
Unlike Americans. Albert became friends with one of his regular Burger King customers, as we do.

Speaker 11 There's so many things wrong with this.

Speaker 6 No, no, I know my local Taco Bell cashier.

Speaker 6 He's always asking if my

Speaker 6 address on my driver's license is located in America.

Speaker 11 How sad is your life if

Speaker 11 anyone at a fast food place becomes your friend?

Speaker 6 Well,

Speaker 6 it's like if you're the employee and there's some weird guy who keeps coming in and he's like, Is Kathy working?

Speaker 11 And you're like, Oh, God, this poor man.

Speaker 6 Oh, God.

Speaker 6 Is Kathy there? How are the fries?

Speaker 11 Maybe

Speaker 11 you can't do that.

Speaker 6 No.

Speaker 6 What? A Dairy Queen? What?

Speaker 11 I think he becomes with people at a Dairy Queen because it's a different answer.

Speaker 6 It's a crazy statement.

Speaker 11 It's a friendly joint where everybody's family.

Speaker 6 No, like, if you're talking about like you're BFFing with like like an employee at Schlotzky's Deli, well, now I get it. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Schlotzky's you're in the middle of the future. Derwier Schnitzel?

Speaker 6 No. What about Derwierchnitzel? Nazi.

Speaker 6 Panera definitely can be a bit of Panera.

Speaker 11 No, I wish you. Schlotzy have anything to say about Derwienischnitzel? You're an idiot.
Anything to say at all?

Speaker 6 What do you mean? Stupid. You're a Nazi.

Speaker 11 What did you say? What did you say about Derwierchnitz?

Speaker 6 Enjoy your Reichy waiters.

Speaker 11 The last time I said it, what did you say?

Speaker 6 Last couple of times.

Speaker 11 I said Derwienischnitzel, and you said.

Speaker 6 Fucking made-up Nazi propaganda's bullshit.

Speaker 11 And then I showed you a picture of the actual Derwieneschnitzel that it was called Derwinischnitzel. And what'd you do?

Speaker 6 You yelled at me. Way to go, Klaus.
What do you want from me? I don't care. You're still a Nazi when it comes to hot dogs.

Speaker 6 Put on the mustard and sein catch up.

Speaker 11 So the guy he meets and befriends is a real estate agent named Ray. And Ray talked Albert into buying a two-bedroom house in Torrance for $69,000.

Speaker 11 But Albert still lives with his parents and rents the Torrance house to friends

Speaker 11 who trashed it and never paid him rent.

Speaker 6 So he's business-wise, he's good. He's great.

Speaker 11 That's not what you're supposed to do.

Speaker 6 He's good at business.

Speaker 11 But inflation is high and real estate's booming, so Albert still sells the house and makes a little bit of profit a few years later.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 11 So one day Ray told Albert that he had one big real estate regret.

Speaker 11 In the late 1940s, land in California was very, very cheap.

Speaker 11 So cheap that Ray could have bought his own town and

Speaker 11 been the mayor, the chief of police, just been his whole, his whole empire did town.

Speaker 11 But he never did it. And he regretted it to this day.

Speaker 11 Albert never would forget Ray's story. He was always like, That's an amazing idea.

Speaker 6 I'm gonna take a city called hamburger.

Speaker 11 I would go to a city called Hamburger.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you well, you'd probably go to Der Wienerschnitzel and you'd do whatever they told you to do, be a good little soldier, wouldn't you?

Speaker 11 Wouldn't you?

Speaker 11 When I was a child, I went to Der Wienerschnitzel quite a few times.

Speaker 6 Is that right?

Speaker 11 Because it's real. It's a real teaching how to march,

Speaker 6 huh? Did you get a little like armband?

Speaker 6 Huh? Did you join their little program? Huh? Did you?

Speaker 11 You're 19 in 19.

Speaker 6 You're a good little boy, David.

Speaker 6 You are. Terrible person.
You're such a good boy. Now, eat the Venus.
Eat the Venus. I don't like you.
Now, remember, there are certain people who won't eat the Venus Nitzel.

Speaker 6 They're not the chosen people, David. We don't need you to help with that.

Speaker 6 They must be dealt with accordingly.

Speaker 6 Disgusting.

Speaker 6 You and your drunk dad, your dad drunk on gin, taking you to Derwien or Schnitzel. No.

Speaker 11 First of all, my dad drank cheap whiskey, and secondly, he would take me to Taco Bell.

Speaker 11 And why did he take me to Taco Bell, Gareth? Because Matucci's was next door, and he could go in and drink while I went to Taco Bell.

Speaker 6 What drinks could he drink during a Taco Bell order?

Speaker 11 Well, he'd stay in there for two hours.

Speaker 6 We're going to get another burrito. Dad, this is my fourth meal there today.

Speaker 11 In 1981, Albert was managing a Del Taco in Carson.

Speaker 6 Boy, he really was real about this. He really,

Speaker 6 this was a path.

Speaker 11 A young boy fell in love with fast food.

Speaker 6 What are you going to do? They don't have burgers, though.

Speaker 11 So an El Pollo loco

Speaker 11 franchise opened up across the street, and it's the first El Pollo loco that Albert has ever seen.

Speaker 11 And customers were lining up around the block two hours before the restaurant opened.

Speaker 6 There's so many indicators for why this country should have been nuked, and this is a money.

Speaker 11 It reminds Albert of when he was 10 years old and the first McDonald's in Wilmington opened. And there were lines that night for the McDonald's.
It brings back his childhood.

Speaker 11 This is one of those wonderful, wonderful moments.

Speaker 6 Friend of show, Dill, has has that story about when the first McDonald's opened in Sri Lanka and his parents allowed him the day off of school, and he was fifth in line for McDonald's, and he went up and he ordered like a Big Mac and nuggets, sat down, and then so the line was like two and a half hours after that.

Speaker 6 He ate it and then got to the end of the line to go get another meal there.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 11 Anyway, Dill had a weight problem

Speaker 11 later on. And that's where it started.

Speaker 6 But now he's better.

Speaker 11 Yeah, he's much better. Now he's just fat on the inside.
That's right. El Pollo Loco was founded in Sonola, Mexico, and sold Mexican-style grilled chicken.
Its first U.S.

Speaker 11 franchise was in MacArthur Park, Los Angeles. And in 1983, Denny's bought El Pollo Loco, changed the recipe, raised the prices, and expanded so quickly they almost bankrupted the company.

Speaker 11 And then they sold it to a private equity firm. So that's the American dream right there.

Speaker 6 That's horrible. That is so terrible.

Speaker 11 The thing that El Pollo used to

Speaker 11 used to be good.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Well, Dave, if I'm being honest, when I first moved here, boy, did I love El Pollo Loco. So did I.
I mean, love

Speaker 6 El Pollo Loco.

Speaker 11 The quality was much better back then. It's

Speaker 6 horrendous. I have not been anywhere near one in years.

Speaker 6 It's really, it's.

Speaker 11 Really tough. But years ago, 20 years ago, whatever, it was amazing.

Speaker 6 It was really pretty good. And it was cheap.
And if you got the receipt, you could go online and take a quick survey and then you get a dollar off your next order. And I did that every time.

Speaker 11 I was never that sad.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I've been pathetic for a long time.

Speaker 11 Albert was inspired by the success of El Pollo Loco.

Speaker 11 And he's also a fan of Napoleon Hill's book, Think and Grow Rich.

Speaker 11 And Dale Carnegie's book, How to Win Friends and Influence People.

Speaker 6 And of course, Ray Kroc's book,

Speaker 11 his 1977 autobiography, Grinding It Out.

Speaker 6 Yeah, right.

Speaker 11 So he's just reading books about rich guys and wanting to be rich. That's the

Speaker 6 rich men riching. Yeah.
Yep.

Speaker 11 So he watches the movie Patton. J.P.

Speaker 6 Morgan's book.

Speaker 6 Fuck everyone.

Speaker 11 So he watches the movie Patton, and he starts to think pretty strongly at that point that every man has a destiny.

Speaker 11 Patton's destiny had been to be a great general. Sure.
Ray Kroc's destiny, hamburger

Speaker 11 empire genius.

Speaker 6 Yes.

Speaker 11 So Albert starts to think that maybe his destiny is to sell more chicken than any human being in the world.

Speaker 6 Man, it's just what an off-kilter dream.

Speaker 11 Makes sense, right?

Speaker 6 No, no, not at all.

Speaker 11 That that it would make sense. That Makes total sense.

Speaker 6 Nope, absolutely not. Not at all.

Speaker 11 Like, how about we're on the same page?

Speaker 6 No, we're not. How about like

Speaker 6 helping, like solving world hunger or

Speaker 6 I don't know, like,

Speaker 6 I don't know, making equal rights for everybody or

Speaker 6 stopping war.

Speaker 11 No, no, get meat out fast.

Speaker 11 Fast meat.

Speaker 6 I need to kill more chickens than any man before me.

Speaker 11 So Albert starts to make plans to create his own chain of grilled chicken restaurants targeting Latino customers and develop a cult following in Southern California, just like El Poiloco had.

Speaker 6 I'm trying to think what the hell this could be.

Speaker 11 Well, now he's not Latino, Gareth.

Speaker 11 No. He's an Asian fellow.
He doesn't speak Spanish.

Speaker 11 And he didn't really eat chicken. He was more of a burger guy.

Speaker 6 Yep, obsessed with hamburgers

Speaker 11 so he

Speaker 11 talks to his uh girlfriend's sister's husband you're a chicken guy

Speaker 11 armando para

Speaker 11 and armando is from chihuahua mexico right known for i think a six i think i said that incorrectly chihuahua

Speaker 11 okay absolutely and he told albert

Speaker 11 that uh the rotisserie chicken was more common than grilled because grills took up too much space.

Speaker 11 And Albert agreed that their new venture should be rotisserie chicken. He's like, that makes sense.
We won't grill a rotisserie this shit.

Speaker 11 So for the name,

Speaker 11 they came up with Juan Pollo, which Albert thought sounded noble when spoken.

Speaker 6 Right.

Speaker 6 It's also,

Speaker 6 well, no, it's like P.F. Changs, how that stands for Paul Fleming.
Changs.

Speaker 11 Yeah, it's yes, except this is John Chicken.

Speaker 6 So, but noble sounding.

Speaker 6 How are you?

Speaker 6 Good. Thank you.
The story of John. Joe Chicken Chicken.

Speaker 11 John Chicken.

Speaker 11 So Armando's brother Fernando designed a mascot for them, which was a cartoon chicken wearing a sombrero. So they're killing it right now.

Speaker 11 They're hitting all the everything's getting hit out of the park.

Speaker 6 Robert Smeigel did that hilarious fake chicken commercial where it's like the chicken keeps talking about how good he tastes. It's always weird when the spokesman is the thing you're eating.

Speaker 6 Like when the chicken is like, come on in here, my brethren are being genocided.

Speaker 11 Yeah, like Ronald McDonald.

Speaker 6 No,

Speaker 6 I'm in the burgers.

Speaker 6 This is made from 100% clone me.

Speaker 11 So he looks for investors. His first investors were Uncle George Komatsu and his son, Robert Komatsu.

Speaker 11 George is a distant relative who owns a strip mall in Ontario, California. Now, Albert had been to Ontario once,

Speaker 11 and it was over 100 degrees, and he got lost in a sandstorm.

Speaker 6 That's good. That's great.
Yeah.

Speaker 11 But George was willing to invest because if the restaurant failed in the strip mall, well, then it could be a tax write-off.

Speaker 6 So it works. Oh, I didn't even realize how any of that worked.
Okay. Yep.

Speaker 11 So Albert had a lot of respect for George's ability to avoid paying taxes, and he called him the human computer.

Speaker 6 Sure, absolutely.

Speaker 11 So Albert moved to Ontario and

Speaker 11 he lived in a trailer park behind the restaurant.

Speaker 6 As

Speaker 6 he trailed the

Speaker 6 human computer, he's like, maybe the human computer isn't so awesome.

Speaker 11 So, not a trailer park. In a trailer parked behind.

Speaker 6 He's just parking the trailer out back.

Speaker 11 Yeah, that's where he lives.

Speaker 6 By the way,

Speaker 6 we're pretty close to doing that.

Speaker 11 Pretty close. This is, yeah.

Speaker 6 You and I specifically, I mean. Yes, yes.

Speaker 11 So Albert buys a rotisserie oven, and Armando created a marinade, and the Juan Pollo restaurant opened in January 18th, 1894.

Speaker 6 1894? That would be amazing if that was.

Speaker 11 Sorry, 1984.

Speaker 6 That'd be great back then. This chicken is unfucking believable.

Speaker 6 Whoa.

Speaker 6 Whoa.

Speaker 6 What the fuck? This is unbelievable.

Speaker 11 But that's all all chicken was rotisserie chicken back then, unless you boiled it.

Speaker 6 I can't even imagine the quality. I can't even.
They would just be like, take off the feathers. What are you simple?

Speaker 6 Feathers are the best part.

Speaker 11 So at first, he makes too big of a menu.

Speaker 11 I had a lot of sides, like french fries and jello.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's diet. Boy, really.
I've got a better side.

Speaker 6 Let me get a six-piece

Speaker 6 and a large

Speaker 6 jello.

Speaker 6 I'm looking to

Speaker 6 declaring a civil war inside of myself a little bit.

Speaker 11 What flavor?

Speaker 6 I'll do orange jello, please. I really.

Speaker 6 I'm going through a pretty bad divorce.

Speaker 6 You know what?

Speaker 6 Do you guys do just skin? Could I just get like a bag of chicken skin and then a bunch of orange jello? I'm going to go to the car and take my own life.

Speaker 6 That's very possible.

Speaker 11 We have a special parking lot over there for life takers.

Speaker 6 Oh, that's great. Yeah, that's perfect.
Oh, I can see, yeah, that looks like a cemetery.

Speaker 11 That'll be great. You know what's interesting is everybody who does that orders the jello first.

Speaker 6 Well, jello is a must. I mean, it's just, it's just,

Speaker 6 it's, you could really get it down you with a lifeless chew. That's what I love about jello.
Like, if you don't want to chew jello, just keep your mouth shut. It'll liquefy and do its own business.

Speaker 6 That's right. That's right.

Speaker 6 By the way, the chickens to put on my face.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 11 I don't need to know anymore, actually. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Thanks. I'm going to pretend to be

Speaker 6 a severely dehydrated man.

Speaker 6 Okay. And then I'll go to the car.

Speaker 6 Wow.

Speaker 11 Our chicken's very moist.

Speaker 6 Wow.

Speaker 11 After a few months, he scales down the menu and he just starts selling the top-selling items, just like the McDonald's brothers did, right?

Speaker 11 He cooked thousands of chickens to perfect his rotisserie method. And Juan Pollo starts getting really great reviews in the local press.

Speaker 11 And they built up a loyal customer base and they expanded to more locations in the internet.

Speaker 6 The local press being like, wow, this fast food blaze is really good.

Speaker 11 I mean, that's what it used to be.

Speaker 6 It's really weird.

Speaker 6 But i mean it was a better quality of food obviously it was the chicken all of our food tasted better back then uh in 1991 albert wrote and copyrighted what he called his legal he called it his legal pyramid scheme absolutely a key part of that is that word legal yes because that helps you a lot in court

Speaker 11 So it goes like this. The more chicken I sell, the fresher the product.
The fresher the product, the better the quality.

Speaker 11 The better the quality, the more people talk about us, the more people that talk about us, the more people find out about us.

Speaker 11 The more people that find out about us, the bigger our customer base, the bigger our customer base, the more our sales, the more our sales, the fresher product, et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker 6 So, what he's going for is he's basically saying, I'll be really good at this and that'll help. As opposed to now, when they're like, How do we fuck everyone and still make it? How do we shit?

Speaker 6 How do we fuck everyone so hard and we still make everything and they get shit?

Speaker 11 How can we put the cheapest, worst food in these fucking idiots' mouths for the money?

Speaker 6 What is the bare minimum standard that we can put in these fucking slaves?

Speaker 6 And then when they get sick, it's not our fault.

Speaker 11 That's right.

Speaker 11 So a pyramid scheme is fraud, right?

Speaker 11 You bring in investors and you defraud everybody.

Speaker 11 But Albert's legal pyramid scheme is not actually a pyramid scheme, but he arranged the text in the shape of a triangle anyway.

Speaker 6 Sure. I don't know why he's like so like,

Speaker 6 there's a really great way to do this with arrows connecting to each other. It's like it's a, it's an evolution.
It's a, it's, it's just the passage of time, how this affects each other positively.

Speaker 6 But he's like, no, I want to show that it gets, you know, I want to get all that pyramid scheme clout without all that nasty ripping off.

Speaker 11 So he comes up and write with and writes a 50-year business plan

Speaker 11 and outlines the plans for one pollo's chicken

Speaker 11 he outlines the plans for one point oh's growth decade by decade from 1991 through 2051

Speaker 11 uh he'd be 100 years old at that point so he did it all the way up until he's 100.

Speaker 6 sure

Speaker 6 Now,

Speaker 11 a key is for him, a key of his part of his business plan is for him to become the recognized spokesman like on par with

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Speaker 11 By the 2010s, Albert wrote he should, quote, become recognized as figurehead and founder of the company, need to start becoming larger than life.

Speaker 6 I like the idea that that is a like a 25-year, 30-year plan for him. Like, he's not able to pull that off like in five years, ten years.

Speaker 6 Now I unveil who I really am.

Speaker 11 In the 2020s, quote, in order to maintain control of Juan Pollo and stay in power to accomplish my goals, I need to become so closely identified with the company that we become synonymous, similar to Walt Disney and Disneyland.

Speaker 6 At this point, it'll be difficult because I'll be wrapped up in that whole Epstein thing. But I think Trump will win the 2020 election.
And if he doesn't, it will have been stolen from him.

Speaker 11 At 2030, I become president of the world.

Speaker 6 2030, I become the president.

Speaker 11 By 2050, at 99 years old, he would, quote, become the number one seller of chicken in the world.

Speaker 6 It's just such a dumb thing. It makes sense.
Many come to bed. This is sort of stupid.
Then when I'm 150,

Speaker 6 I will become part chicken man.

Speaker 11 So he sets it into motion. And Juan Pollo became a Southern California chain.

Speaker 11 And

Speaker 11 it's expanding through franchises that are mostly owned by employees who had started entry-level positions. Okay.
And he creates a profitable restaurant supply company and he expands into catering.

Speaker 11 Sure. He and his wife have kids.
With each kid, his wife's family consults an Indonesian religious seer for predictions about the child's destiny.

Speaker 6 The best job in the world. The best job in the world.

Speaker 6 I mean, like the lowest stakes,

Speaker 6 he's going to become a figure skater.

Speaker 11 Could I ask you a question? Does he enjoy hamburgers?

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah, yeah. His kid loves hamburgers, and he's going to become a.

Speaker 6 Okay, go ahead.

Speaker 11 I'm seeing hamburgers, and I'm seeing a crown.

Speaker 6 The guy who's seeing it.

Speaker 6 Oh, so yeah, what are you doing?

Speaker 11 I said, because I asked you, why would, if I'm not the seer, why would I ask you a question about him? Like, does he enjoy hamburgers? That would be something the seer would ask.

Speaker 6 Not necessarily. That seems like something a father who's got a burger obsession would ask.

Speaker 11 Why would

Speaker 6 all right? Look, it's pretty obvious what's going on here.

Speaker 6 This kid doesn't have a diet.

Speaker 6 We're just too scared of the kids.

Speaker 11 He's been raised by two.

Speaker 6 There's two Indonesian people. He's been raised by two

Speaker 6 fake Indonesian. Indonesian sick.
We both know the truth here. This kid's super sick.

Speaker 6 And he's not going to make it very long.

Speaker 11 Um,

Speaker 11 so Albert interprets uh one Sears' prediction about his second son to mean the boy was destined to oversee a one poll operations in overseas markets, which is part of the 50-year plan to expand worldwide.

Speaker 6 What a nightmare to be like growing up in the shadow of your dad being like, You are going to be in charge of our Middle Eastern Juan Poyo locos.

Speaker 6 I don't want to go there.

Speaker 6 No, you'll like it. It'll be better there.

Speaker 6 Learn how to speak Syrian. You'll go there and we'll be great.

Speaker 6 How's your Farsi coming, boy?

Speaker 11 So

Speaker 11 he starts putting money into publicity.

Speaker 11 And then one day this guy, Jack Marcus, comes into the San Bernardino Juan Pollo, and he tells Albert that he wants to make a series of Juan Pollo pogs.

Speaker 6 Wow, we really are in a rare time.

Speaker 6 Dave, are you seriously not going to tell people what pogs are? Why don't you explain to me? I am.

Speaker 11 Albert doesn't know what a

Speaker 6 pog is.

Speaker 6 Well,

Speaker 11 they're little round. I mean, how do you describe it? It's like a little ragged.

Speaker 6 It's like the dumbest. I don't know.
It's like, I mean, so

Speaker 6 when this is explained to you, if you don't know what it is, you're going to be like, why was this a thing? And nobody has the answer to that question. No.

Speaker 6 They basically looked like casino chips of like popular things.

Speaker 6 And you'd get like a pog of like ALF or a POG of whatever it was. People would do it for a promotion.
And I'll tell you what, it made more sense than an NFT.

Speaker 11 Oh, I've made a lot of money off NFTs.

Speaker 6 I know you have.

Speaker 11 I mean, I haven't checked the numbers lately, but

Speaker 11 when I sunk.

Speaker 6 let's talk off air because I think it might be time for you to dip back into some of those and have a little game.

Speaker 11 I mean, the one I bought for $250,000 has got to be worth like $5 million by now.

Speaker 11 So he doesn't, so he never, he doesn't really explain to, he just says they're going to become a craze, a big thing in Southern California.

Speaker 6 I'd love to. And so Albert's like,

Speaker 11 let's get involved. So Jack designs the Pogs.
That's an original cartoon, original cartoon characters. They're so successful that Albert made Jack the marketing director for Juan Pollo.

Speaker 6 Wow.

Speaker 6 Just some guy. I looked him up.

Speaker 11 I can see them all.

Speaker 6 Make a chicken pog.

Speaker 6 Right.

Speaker 11 So Jack and Albert developed other marketing things like the Power Pollo Rangers and the Pollo Men, like Pokemon, Pollo Men. That's so eventually

Speaker 11 they came up with the annual Miss Juan Pollo beauty pageant.

Speaker 6 Oh, sweet God. Are you ready to see these chicken tits?

Speaker 6 I'm trying to find a Juan Pollo pog.

Speaker 11 And then the Miss Teen Juan Pollo Beauty Pageant?

Speaker 6 I'm excited to meet all the contestants.

Speaker 6 I'm going backstage at the chicken pageant.

Speaker 11 You can't find them. I found them immediately when I.

Speaker 6 Is that some sort of I only use AI, and it's just showing me a chicken

Speaker 6 and reassuring me these are the pogs.

Speaker 11 Oh, interesting. Now they aren't coming up.

Speaker 6 Well, well, well, not so hot now.

Speaker 11 But I found them yesterday. Oh, I might not have used Google.
That might have been what it was. I might have used something that actually works.

Speaker 6 Not sure what your problem is.

Speaker 11 Is anybody using Google anymore?

Speaker 6 I am. I'm hanging in there.
I'm not using the AI part, but I'm still using it. You're still using Google.
What are you using? Yeah.

Speaker 11 I use

Speaker 11 Brave or I use Dr.

Speaker 6 Go,

Speaker 11 but I like Brave. Brave seems pretty good.

Speaker 6 I do a lot of Pornhub search engine stuff. Nothing's coming up with the one point.
What are we doing?

Speaker 6 But I am doing it. I think it's huge, Don.

Speaker 11 I saw

Speaker 11 1.0.

Speaker 6 Oh, I got the Nong.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 11 This is good. This is good radio right here.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Well, we're not doing radio.
Just Pogboy.

Speaker 11 So

Speaker 11 they got the Pollomen, like the Pokemon. They got the beauty pageants.
And then they came up with the Juan Pollo Chicks,

Speaker 11 which were an all-female promo team that wore mini skirts and would go to local events.

Speaker 6 I love how, like,

Speaker 6 this is genius shit. It's just like, you know, we'll go, we'll have women pretty naked go places.
I think the men might respond to that. It's like, yeah, no, it's

Speaker 6 way to go, Gene.

Speaker 6 What took 10 years for you to just be like, yeah.

Speaker 6 It's like the guys, like, it's great that, like, Hooters is failing now because it, it feels like finally, maybe people are like, that's pretty weird. But

Speaker 6 there were like so many rip-offs of it. And they were like, like, the guy who's like, I came up with, I call it Twin Peaks.

Speaker 6 It's a bar,

Speaker 6 and you can see down women's shirts when they work there. It's like, wow, way to go.
Where did you come up with this?

Speaker 11 Yeah, this is like all bar stuff, everything they've said. Um, so the Inland Empire,

Speaker 11 there's it's car, it's car country, right? So, there's always a car show or a card parade happening. So, Albert made sure to get at least one L, a Juan Pollo vehicle in every single parade.

Speaker 11 Uh, it's usually a truck plastered with Juan Pollo decals, and occasionally they'd put Albert's cell phone number on there.

Speaker 11 And of course,

Speaker 11 Miss Juan Pollo would ride in one of the parade cars. Sure.
And

Speaker 11 Albert then buys the yacht car that was in the Gallagher movie.

Speaker 6 Huh?

Speaker 11 I don't know what that is. I didn't know there was a Gallagher movie, but there's a yacht car from the Gallagher movie.

Speaker 6 And you've now looked at that. And he bought it.

Speaker 11 I haven't looked that up.

Speaker 6 And he bought it. The yacht car from the Gallagher movie.

Speaker 11 So this becomes like a legendary presence at car parades in the empire. Those things are.
The yacht car is always going to be there.

Speaker 11 Albert bought four eight-foot-tall

Speaker 11 used Warner Brothers cartoon character statues.

Speaker 6 I think I'm seeing it, and it is the dumbest thing I've ever seen. The yacht car?

Speaker 11 Well, it's because it's a Gallagher joke made into a thing from a movie.

Speaker 6 It's a whole thing, right?

Speaker 11 And he's like, it's like something.

Speaker 6 So wait, what did he buy from Warner Brothers? Sorry. I was in Gallagher yacht car mode.

Speaker 11 Used cartoon character statues, eight feet tall.

Speaker 11 The Tasmanian Devil, Sylvester, Bugs, Bonnie, and Daffy Duck. And he put them on parade vehicles.

Speaker 6 And this works.

Speaker 11 Why can't you...

Speaker 11 Why aren't you seeing the vision?

Speaker 6 Because it just seems like if a five-year-old had limitless money in a restaurant.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I admit that's a pretty fair indictment on what's happening right now.

Speaker 11 It's a huge hit, Reynolds.

Speaker 6 It's because we're so dumb. Because everyone's a fucking idiot.

Speaker 6 Because I just tried to check into a Hampton Inn, and while the woman was looking at my California driver's license, she kept asking me if the address was in America.

Speaker 6 And Juan Boyo's reputation grows. It's so dumb.
It's becoming legendary in the island empire. I'm not into this chicken until he put a cartoon character on a car.

Speaker 6 This is the real deal.

Speaker 11 In 1998, the site of the original McDonald's barbecue in San Bernardino went up for sale in foreclosure. Now,

Speaker 11 the restaurant's gone. It's been gone for a while.
It's been replaced with an office building. But Albert buys it and turns turns it into Juan Pollo corporate headquarters and Carter's.

Speaker 11 And

Speaker 11 a McDonald's history museum. Oh my God.

Speaker 11 It's free. It's free to go.

Speaker 11 And there's historic photos and news clippings and old menus,

Speaker 11 a lot of happy meal. uh collections other promotional stuff it's really great really dumb and there's a big headshot of albert

Speaker 11 uh and outside there's a big hamburger hamburgler in a cage

Speaker 6 i mean it was brutal what ice did to him

Speaker 11 so mcdonald's lawyers are not happy oh this is a non-sanctioned mcdonald's museum yeah it's a free it's a wildfire

Speaker 6 museum

Speaker 6 welcome to my tom cruise museum

Speaker 6 because I can.

Speaker 11 Well, the other problem with this is that McDonald's already has a

Speaker 11 McDonald's History Museum in Illinois.

Speaker 6 I was going to say, there's the original rock and roll McDonald's or whatever the fuck it's called back there.

Speaker 11 So Albert is

Speaker 11 told he's forbidden from profiting from the name. And he's like, yeah, it's free.

Speaker 6 So that's fine.

Speaker 11 And then they also said he has to stop calling it the McDonald's Museum.

Speaker 11 And

Speaker 11 he can, they tell him to call it the historic site of the original McDonald's restaurant.

Speaker 6 Wordy.

Speaker 6 Can't tell a guy who put a Tweety Bird on a car and is doing well that this is not okay.

Speaker 11 You can't tell him anything.

Speaker 6 No, you can't stop this guy.

Speaker 11 Well, Albert compromises

Speaker 11 and he calls it the historic site of the original McDonald's Museum, which is what they told him to call it.

Speaker 11 So they made him remove

Speaker 6 a link

Speaker 11 on the Juan Pollo website to the museum website.

Speaker 11 And McDonald's corporate history does not acknowledge Albert's collection or the San Bernardino Hills.

Speaker 6 Or the San Bernardino site.

Speaker 6 I don't know who's stupider. The guy who's just opening the McDonald's museum that nobody asked for, or the company who's not just like, let him do it.

Speaker 6 It's not, it's not like it's not enough. It's not there.

Speaker 11 As far as we're concerned, it doesn't exist.

Speaker 6 It's not real. Okay.

Speaker 11 I would just put in the...

Speaker 6 I wouldn't go in there if you want to learn the real history about McDonald's.

Speaker 6 What?

Speaker 6 Wouldn't go in there.

Speaker 11 You're not going to have all your McDonald's facts straight.

Speaker 6 Hey,

Speaker 6 hope you like McDonald's misinformation because that's what you're walking into right now. Excuse me?

Speaker 6 See,

Speaker 6 I don't know. You want the real deal? Go make a little trip to Illinois.
That's where you're going to find a bunch of stuff that actually is going to inform you as far as McDonald's goes.

Speaker 11 Are you just standing out in front of this museum in a trench coat telling people stuff?

Speaker 6 Free country. Do whatever you like.
But I'm just telling you, you'd be better off just getting your McDonald's information from a nobody, which is basically what you're about to walk into.

Speaker 11 I'm just taking the kids to see the old happy male stuff. Like, I don't care about it.

Speaker 6 I hope the kids like a little. How are you kids doing?

Speaker 6 I hope you like a little misinformation meal because that's what you're about to get rammed out your goddamn throats what are you doing right now you guys are about to walk into a mcdonald's house of lies

Speaker 6 okay what if i told you what if i what if i told you

Speaker 6 i could show you the real ronald mcdonald

Speaker 6 and that he's okay where is he right is he around here he's really sick

Speaker 6 Two-hour drive. I could take you and the kids out to the middle of the desert and show you the real Ronald McDonald.

Speaker 11 I need you to get...

Speaker 6 instead of wasting everybody's afternoon inside of a uh fabrication mcdonald's layer i came here to get some chicken i saw the doctor could you get away from our kids

Speaker 11 why don't you get out of here do you have a car

Speaker 6 no we walked i saw you drive okay we drove so you have a car yeah i need you to get away from me well if you look well it seems like you like lions so maybe you go inside there go inside there you're gonna see a bunch of menus without the McDonald's logo.

Speaker 6 You know why? Because McDonald's has asked this place to not exist.

Speaker 6 If you want to see Ronald McDonald, if you want to see Ronald McDonald, do you work for McDonald's? I'm a friend of the family. Now, if you want to meet the real Ronald McDonald,

Speaker 6 just get me in, get me in your car, and we're two hours away. You can go meet him.
And he is super sick.

Speaker 6 He is very your life.

Speaker 11 Your life is fucking pathetic.

Speaker 6 I'm just trying to take down what is

Speaker 6 a house of misinformation.

Speaker 11 Did you hear what? You're a jack. We are a jack-in-the-box family.

Speaker 6 Did you hear what I said to you? Yeah. I can get you to Ronald McDonald in two hours, and he's dead.

Speaker 11 I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 6 He needs help.

Speaker 6 Good. He needs a new heart, if you must know.

Speaker 11 That's fine. Let him die.

Speaker 6 What if I told you fucking weird? Okay.

Speaker 6 I'm either not going to to let you go in there or I'm going in there with you.

Speaker 6 Period. I have a handgun.
Here it is.

Speaker 6 So,

Speaker 11 so

Speaker 11 they're not acknowledging whatever. It's just weird.
But

Speaker 11 they don't force him to shut it down.

Speaker 11 I think that would have brought more publicity. So in an interview, Albert said,

Speaker 11 I feel it is my destiny to own this property.

Speaker 6 Buddy, I don't think you know what destiny is.

Speaker 6 I think it's meant for loftier ambition.

Speaker 11 So,

Speaker 11 there's a town, a roadside town in the Mojave Desert called Amboy. It's three hours east of Los Angeles.

Speaker 11 It was a mining camp in 1858. In 1883, the Southern Pacific Railroad bought it to turn it into a water stop for trains.

Speaker 6 In

Speaker 11 1939, Herman Buster Burris moved to Amboy with his wife and in-laws,

Speaker 11 thinking

Speaker 11 his in-laws, Roy Crowell, and they hoped it would become a boomtown. That's why they moved there, and it did.
The next year it did. A mill was built to process gypsum and salt.

Speaker 11 The population exploded to 600,

Speaker 11 and it's on Route 66. So drivers are stopping there all all the time.

Speaker 6 Sure.

Speaker 11 It has church, a post office, a school, an airplane hanger.

Speaker 11 Water came by rail. And Buster Roy built a garage and a diner and a 30-room motel.
They sold tires, gas, and milkshakes. Business is booming.
Sure.

Speaker 11 But in 1972, Interstate 40 was built 10 miles north, just killing Route 66.

Speaker 6 Sure.

Speaker 11 No longer the primary east-west highway through the U.S.

Speaker 11 Road and traffic just plummets.

Speaker 11 And in 1980, the population is down to 150 people. 10 years later, it's down to 24.

Speaker 6 That's a sad 24.

Speaker 11 But now Route 66 tourists are coming, like people who love the old routes and want to, yeah, that whole thing.

Speaker 6 And they're keeping the buster. People still are into it.

Speaker 11 Yeah, they're keeping Buster's business alive. It's kicking along.
Diners

Speaker 11 downgraded to a convenience convenience store.

Speaker 11 After 50 years, Buster decides he's going to put the town up for sale. Jesus Christ.
90 acres, gas station, motel, a diner, hangar, water towers, everything

Speaker 11 for 2.5 million.

Speaker 11 Now, he doesn't want to sell it to just anyone, Gareth, because it's a wonderful. Amboy is a wonderful town.

Speaker 6 Sure.

Speaker 11 And he wants someone that's not going to tear down the motel and the diner, keep the spirit of Route 66 and Andy.

Speaker 6 I don't even want a diner anymore, as you've acknowledged, but okay.

Speaker 11 You stop it right now.

Speaker 6 Well, I'm just saying. Buster.

Speaker 11 Buster, quote, if I was 20 years younger, I wouldn't sell under no condition. But I can't get people to do things.
The younger generation doesn't want to work.

Speaker 6 They're not reliable. I love that

Speaker 6 argument that just is always there. Always.
Young people hate working.

Speaker 6 They hate working.

Speaker 11 Like Gen Z people are just like,

Speaker 11 they say we don't want to work.

Speaker 6 And it's like,

Speaker 11 they literally called us slackers, our entire generation. They called us slackers.

Speaker 6 Well, and I also, like,

Speaker 6 if you were Gen Z, wouldn't you just be like, yeah, no, it's like, there's like nothing good.

Speaker 11 There's no reason.

Speaker 6 There's no reason. There's no point.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 11 Don't you want to get a good job and retire? Buddy, I'm going to be fighting marauders.

Speaker 6 Don't you want to use your car to drive strangers around so that you can get sick and not have health care? And then you won't even have enough to afford a place to live. Come on,

Speaker 11 and then if you do, it burns down, huh?

Speaker 6 And then nobody will take care of you because you didn't support Israel.

Speaker 11 So, Buster found a buyer, but the owner, new owners,

Speaker 11 they got foreclosed on really quickly. So

Speaker 11 Buster dies, and then his widow puts it back on sale. Same terms.
In 2003, Amboy was then one of three towns listed on eBay as a promotional campaign for the website.

Speaker 6 What a weird

Speaker 6 word.

Speaker 6 I'm going to go buy Amboy on eBay.

Speaker 6 Well, I just bought a city.

Speaker 6 Of course, he did.

Speaker 11 Of course, Albert bought it for $425,000 cash.

Speaker 6 Sure.

Speaker 11 Others offered more money, but Albert promised Bessie he would restore and reopen the motel cafe. And that was enough.

Speaker 11 Albert, quote,

Speaker 11 I believe my destiny involves that town. It's hard to investigate.
It's destiny

Speaker 6 people because it makes no sense.

Speaker 11 Nothing people can say they own a town.

Speaker 6 Destiny isn't destiny. It isn't, you idiot.

Speaker 11 Everything that I think I want to do is destiny.

Speaker 6 Everything I do, I was meant to do.

Speaker 6 My son will be running my franchises in the Middle East.

Speaker 11 He spent at least $1 million

Speaker 11 restoring Amboy.

Speaker 11 Oh, my God.

Speaker 11 He had to redo the electric, water, and septic systems. He reopened the gas station.
He restored the lobby of the motel and cafe.

Speaker 6 It's so funny to just be like when he buys it, then he's like, wait, what? Yeah, the whole septic system's totally screwed. Oh, my God.

Speaker 6 So that's going to be like $1.2 million. Otherwise, your town's going to be covered and boop.

Speaker 11 Do you think this was in his pyramid scheme plan thing?

Speaker 6 No, in his destiny. Or way off.
It's really way off.

Speaker 6 Not sure what's happening anymore, to be quite honest with you.

Speaker 11 I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to own an old ghost desert town. Yes, does that make sense?

Speaker 6 Absolutely, Albert. This is your destiny.

Speaker 11 I keep hearing that voice in the back of my head. It just keeps saying yes.
Yes, every time I'm up.

Speaker 6 Yes, this is your destiny, Albert. Everything you do is right.

Speaker 6 Now,

Speaker 6 where are those jars with your pee?

Speaker 6 Oh,

Speaker 11 I've been saving them.

Speaker 6 Good boy, Albert.

Speaker 11 They're in the bunker. Good boy.
As you requested.

Speaker 6 You're a good boy.

Speaker 11 I wish you would stop saying that, though.

Speaker 11 Please, God, stop saying that.

Speaker 6 You're daddy's little baby.

Speaker 11 In 2014, he self-published an autobiography, Albert Okura, the chicken man with the 50-year plan.

Speaker 11 It includes his legal pyramid scheme and pictures of Miss Pollo, Miss Teen Juan Pollo, and Miss Amboy winners. Yes, there's now a Miss Amboy.

Speaker 6 That is correct.

Speaker 11 Around 2018, Daredevil and stuntman Mad Mike Hughes was launching a homemade rocket in the desert, but he needs a launching pad and he needs sponsors because that's expensive to launch a rocket.

Speaker 6 You can't just.

Speaker 11 Well, now you can, actually, but go ahead.

Speaker 11 He's an ex-dirt bike racer and race car mechanic, and he had set a Guinness world record in 2002 for the longest limousine ramp jump.

Speaker 6 Uh-huh.

Speaker 6 Just how limos are supposed to be, by the way.

Speaker 11 Oh, they do.

Speaker 11 No, that's too, that's

Speaker 11 2002.

Speaker 6 That's like if the if they had a water bed in the back, they'd be like the 80s, the 80s in one action.

Speaker 11 Guess how far he jumped it? It's a stretch limo.

Speaker 6 Fucking

Speaker 6 10 feet.

Speaker 11 103.

Speaker 6 That's pretty far. That's

Speaker 6 a stretch limo. That's shocking.

Speaker 11 Mike is obsessed with publicity because he wants to be as famous as evil can evil.

Speaker 6 Sure. Oh, I actually think I know who this guy is.

Speaker 6 I genuinely think I know who this is. Okay.

Speaker 11 So sometimes he would say the earth is flat and he was going up in a rocket to prove it was flat.

Speaker 11 Other times he said that his belief in quote flat earth has nothing to do with steam rocket launches. It never did, it never will.
I'm a daredevil.

Speaker 11 His PR guy later said he just said that to get PR, but whatever. Uh, Mike and his friend, former daredevil Waldo Stakes,

Speaker 11 worked for years building a rocket in Waldo's garage that could take Mike into space.

Speaker 11 Um, so the plan is to attach a huge helium balloon to a steam-powered rocket called a raccoon.

Speaker 6 Go ahead. Proceed.

Speaker 6 I'll stop you if something's striking me as odd.

Speaker 11 And the blue would take Mike 20 miles into the air, and then he'd ignite the rocket.

Speaker 6 Oh, so he self-ignites the rocket once he's up there. I'm guessing by fuse.

Speaker 11 That would take him another 40 miles

Speaker 11 across the Karman boundary into space.

Speaker 6 So we're hearing a plan for death. No, you're hearing a plan for going into space.
Right. Okay.

Speaker 11 And once it peaked and started coming down, Mike would inflate another helium balloon slash parachute thing called the Balut.

Speaker 6 Names are.

Speaker 6 And he'd float down to Earth.

Speaker 11 Yep.

Speaker 6 Where he would die because

Speaker 6 that's probably not going to work.

Speaker 11 No, then he gets just sponsors and contracts and money, and he's famous.

Speaker 6 So, this man is about to die. No,

Speaker 6 yep.

Speaker 11 They need about $3 million to do this.

Speaker 6 Yeah, well, when I heard the scientific method they were using, I thought price tag should be pretty large on this one. Yeah.

Speaker 11 So they raised it from sponsors who would get advertisements on the rocket.

Speaker 6 They should have just started to go kill me.

Speaker 11 Like a NASCAR sorta.

Speaker 6 Right.

Speaker 6 Yep, of course.

Speaker 6 So it was a rocket,

Speaker 6 yeah.

Speaker 11 He definitely because going up into space, people see it, and then as it floats back down, they see it again, right?

Speaker 6 Right, yep, yep, twice the punch.

Speaker 11 Uh, and again, it's called the

Speaker 6 raccoon, yep, absolutely.

Speaker 11 And um,

Speaker 11 they raised, they did raise money from sponsors. Sponsors came to advertise on the rocket.
One sponsor was a dating app, HUD, H-U-D,

Speaker 11 and on the side of the rocket was supposed to say dating isn't rocket science.

Speaker 6 Right. So they're looking for a big, big portion of it.
By the way, HUD sounds like the, it doesn't sound like a dating app. It sounds like the discharge that comes from an STD.

Speaker 6 So that's what I'm saying. You're thinking of the Chud.

Speaker 6 You think of the Chud.

Speaker 11 That's what's supposed to be.

Speaker 11 Another sponsor was an Inland Empire window tinting service.

Speaker 6 That's right.

Speaker 11 And another was Juan Pollo.

Speaker 6 Like that he's getting his, he saw the tent tick business. He was like, we better move.

Speaker 6 This thing's really taking off, pardon the pun.

Speaker 11 Mike and Waldo did a test launch in 2018.

Speaker 11 It didn't go well.

Speaker 6 Really? And

Speaker 11 Mike ended up with a spinal injury.

Speaker 6 Oh, Mike was on it for the test launch.

Speaker 11 He did a

Speaker 6 just do the launch if you're going to do that. What's the point in testing it? That doesn't seem to make a lot of sense to me.
Well, you know, you do it with a dummy.

Speaker 6 Oh, that might have messed up, but okay. Interesting.

Speaker 11 He's a man. He's not a coward.

Speaker 6 You know what I mean? Right. Yeah, for sure.
So he has a spinal injury from his launch.

Speaker 11 I think when we sent men into space, there were no tests, anything. We just put a man right in.

Speaker 6 No, I think we put a chimp in.

Speaker 11 Put a guy right in. Nope.

Speaker 11 In 2019, they did a second launch, this time from Amboy, because

Speaker 6 right, perfect.

Speaker 11 Albert's Albert's there to watch.

Speaker 6 Sure.

Speaker 11 This one, though, you're right. It was unmanned.
Let's just see what it can do.

Speaker 6 Okay, good.

Speaker 11 It's essentially, they're just doing this one for publicity for the next launch.

Speaker 6 Right. To kind of drum up

Speaker 6 the second will happen soon. Right.

Speaker 11 That one Michael will be in, and he'll be kind of.

Speaker 6 Right. He'll die.
Yep. Right.

Speaker 11 Unfortunately, the second launch did fail uh it didn't go well but it did lead to more publicity right and more money train wreck oh yeah i definitely yep

Speaker 6 yeah like maybe a casket service could put their name on the side or maybe a cremation business or something like that or a balloon company or like a balloon company like

Speaker 6 a mattress maybe the balloon company that they don't use you know and you could be like our balloons actually work a mattress company for when you land like soft window therapy.

Speaker 6 Yeah, tons of stuff could go on there that I think would make a ton of sense.

Speaker 6 A will notary.

Speaker 11 A science channel reality show

Speaker 11 came on called Homemade Astronauts.

Speaker 11 So

Speaker 11 now they're filming this.

Speaker 6 Absolutely.

Speaker 11 So it's all, this is going as well.

Speaker 6 This is legitimately a good idea that it's happening. Yes.

Speaker 11 So the third launch was outside of Barstow on February 22nd, 2020.

Speaker 6 Now, is Mike a part of this one?

Speaker 11 Yes, the reality show is filming. And so Mad Mike is a part of it.
And the rocket goes up. He goes up in a fucking homemade rocket.

Speaker 11 And then he comes down in his homemade rocket and he dies.

Speaker 6 Yeah, right. Oh, wow.
Really shocking that

Speaker 6 crazy that that didn't work out. I'm fucking floored, obviously.
That's crazy. So can I ask you this? What did he die from?

Speaker 11 I don't know. I think maybe COVID.

Speaker 6 It seems like.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Wow. So crazy that

Speaker 6 this plan didn't work. Yeah.
Gosh, I could only imagine that Albert would

Speaker 6 wonder how he felt about this whole thing. Because

Speaker 6 he basically paid to have a man killed.

Speaker 11 Well, we don't know if Robert was there. There's no

Speaker 11 for sure confirmation that he was there, but there were a lot of reporters, and Albert did put money in. So he's probably there, but we don't know.

Speaker 6 Right.

Speaker 11 The rocket and Mad Mook's jumpsuit, just like a NASCAR team, displayed the names of his sponsors, which included Juan Pollo. So he's probably there.
Yeah.

Speaker 11 Now, Albert's father, Tiyoshi, lived to be 100.

Speaker 6 Great. So this is perfect for Albert's plan.
In his destiny chart, did it show that Mad Mike was going to die from a rocket that he took a balloon to try with?

Speaker 11 It didn't, actually. Interesting.

Speaker 6 Interesting.

Speaker 11 100-year Tioshi came to work with Albert regularly until he was 99 years old.

Speaker 6 Great.

Speaker 11 So you can see where he got to be an idiot. Why don't you, people,

Speaker 11 stop working as early as you can.

Speaker 11 The whole game is to not work.

Speaker 11 That's what you should be doing with life. The lesson is.

Speaker 6 Well, this is a conversation for 30 years ago, but the whole point of this should be that you go, at this age, I don't have to do it again. I believe the

Speaker 6 generation before us or two before us called it retirement.

Speaker 6 And it was like this whole point of everything.

Speaker 11 It's like when people look down on sex workers and you're like, that sex worker is making more in a day than you make in a week in a factory work in an hour. Like, what are you?

Speaker 11 Who's winning there?

Speaker 6 No, it really is. Again, I mean, it's down to Grubhubber only fans you pick.

Speaker 6 So, uh,

Speaker 11 so Albert does not take a day off work for 40 years.

Speaker 6 See, this, but this to what you're sort of alluding to is what's so stupid. It's like, this is the American dream of like,

Speaker 6 look at him. He just did so good for so long.

Speaker 11 And it's sad.

Speaker 6 And it's ridiculous. It's like you're in a money cult, you idiot.

Speaker 11 Yes, he worked on holidays. He worked on his kids' birthdays.
He worked every day.

Speaker 6 He was a delinquent father.

Speaker 11 In January 2023, he got sick with what he thought was a stomach bug. Now it's January 2023.
So that's most probably COVID. That's when

Speaker 6 he was a big stuff cooking.

Speaker 11 By the time he went to the hospital, he had sepsis and he died a few days later at 71.

Speaker 11 Juan Pollo still has 23 locations in Southern California, but it's not expanded to any other countries. I've never heard of it until this.
I've never heard of it. No.
I've never heard of it.

Speaker 6 No.

Speaker 11 Albert's son Kyle became the owner slash mayor of Amboy,

Speaker 11 and social media upped Amboy as a tourist destination. So Europeans going to national parks are the most frequent visitors to Amboy.
This is what they call their best chicken.

Speaker 11 Olivia Rodrigo filmed a music video there.

Speaker 6 Wow.

Speaker 11 Kyle plans to restore the motel and is in talks to have a portion of Route 66 renamed the Albert Okura Memorial Highway.

Speaker 11 And recently he unveiled a 15-foot tall sign portraying Albert Okura with the text, Restoring Amboy was my destiny.

Speaker 6 If Carl

Speaker 6 has 1951-2023, and he's wearing a Roy's

Speaker 6 Motel Cafe Route 66, and holy shit, is it a big sign?

Speaker 11 Gareth, if Kyle has a

Speaker 11 daughter, he plans to name her destiny.

Speaker 6 Well, I would name my son Mad Mike.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I'm just checking it all out right now. It's really quite stupid.

Speaker 6 But it's also, it really is, it really is also so American. It's so perfect.

Speaker 11 It is the most

Speaker 11 American thing of all.

Speaker 6 Yeah, we are just, I actually think Kyle's all over the social media, to be quite honest with you. Is he?

Speaker 6 Yep, their February 14th Juan Pollo post.

Speaker 6 It's him and a woman feeding each other drumsticks like lunatics. And come celebrate Valentine's Day with your special someone at Wan Pollo.

Speaker 6 It's really not come celebrate Valentine's Day. It's come serve your future ex with papers at Juan Pollo.

Speaker 6 Well,

Speaker 6 what a strange little

Speaker 6 story.

Speaker 6 And I have to say, if you go on their social media, it feels like they don't really know how memes work.

Speaker 11 Seriously, it's that bad. It should be

Speaker 6 pretty bad,

Speaker 11 it should be awesome, like they've had enough time.

Speaker 6 Uh, I gotta say, it's uh oh, here's a

Speaker 6 it's just uh Felice Navidad.

Speaker 6 Yeah, bring bring Wampollo home for everyone on Christmas.

Speaker 6 Yep, Coleslaw looks good.

Speaker 6 The

Speaker 11 research is done by Sarah Shabzi

Speaker 11 sources. Albert O'Cura, the chicken man with the 50-year plan by Albert O'Kurra, Fast Food Nation by Eric

Speaker 11 Slosser, LA Times, New York Times, Orange County Register,

Speaker 11 it's a picture of

Speaker 6 Obama giving Obama the Congressional Medal of Freedom.

Speaker 6 And it says ordering Juan Pollo

Speaker 11 instead of cooking dinner.

Speaker 11 Well, they're not good at that, are they?

Speaker 11 Orange County Register, Orange County Sun, Sam Bernardino Sun, People Magazine, Wired Magazine, Alta Magazine, SF Estate,

Speaker 11 sorry, SF Gate, and the Guardian.

Speaker 6 Yeah,

Speaker 6 yeah.

Speaker 6 It's just

Speaker 6 American. It really is like they're just really abusing this.

Speaker 6 Oh, this one. They're really abusing their like their meme generator.

Speaker 11 It's a woman whispering hotly into a man's ear, very close up, Juan Pollo, reticerine chicken.

Speaker 6 And then his armhairs are standing up.

Speaker 11 His armhairs are standing up because

Speaker 6 that's good. Okay.

Speaker 6 Well, there you go. America.

Speaker 11 But

Speaker 11 it's such a America is such a great place.

Speaker 11 We are so, our brains are so fucked up and scrambled that this is like

Speaker 11 considered a great story it's a guy who

Speaker 11 worked every day for 40 years it's a tragic horrific story you don't want that

Speaker 11 it's like what's the point of being rich if

Speaker 11 you

Speaker 11 don't do any leisure it it's and it's also sad because

Speaker 11 Was the chicken good? I don't know, but it's all about PR. And literally, you can do anything and get PR.

Speaker 6 Well, if you look at the most successful businesses in the country,

Speaker 6 they really are not like, look at the biggest beers in the country. They are not the best beers ever.
They are the worst beers.

Speaker 6 So

Speaker 6 it clearly is not. The capitalist thing is that it's like it.

Speaker 6 incentivizes the best product. It's like, no, it doesn't.

Speaker 6 It incentivizes monopolies and,

Speaker 6 you know, slave wage labor. And,

Speaker 6 and that's really what breeds success. Bribing the government.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Like, Coors Light

Speaker 6 is everywhere.

Speaker 11 It's, it's not even beer.

Speaker 6 It's not. It's just like beer-flavored water.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 And then like, well, I like it. Well, that's not Ted McDonald's.
I mean, that food, like,

Speaker 6 I think that all the time when I like, like, anytime I'm in a 7-Eleven and someone's ordering dinner, I'm just like, sir, literally walk a block. There's,

Speaker 6 don't eat at Walgreens. Like, I'm just telling, like, there is a better option.
I know it seems like this is, but, but we're just wired to ubiquity is

Speaker 6 the best. And it just isn't.

Speaker 11 It's, I've never, like, I don't understand

Speaker 11 people have ever eaten at a 7-Eleven. Like, what are you doing? It's like, there's lower form of food.
Like, you're at the bottom.

Speaker 6 It's really bad. If you're eating wings from a 7-Eleven,

Speaker 6 like, you, you really, if you see someone ordering wing, and this is not even down to price, because some people could be like,

Speaker 6 you could go get cheaper wings somewhere else. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Like, it's like, why are you doing it there?

Speaker 11 Only if you're shit-faced out of your mind.

Speaker 6 Even then, drunk you should be like, I can, I can do better.

Speaker 6 I saw a guy ordering wings in front of me at a 7-Eleven, and as he was getting the box, I just hugged him, and I just go, it's not your fault.

Speaker 6 It's not your fault.

Speaker 6 Well, there you go. USA.
Hey, okay.

Speaker 11 Thanks for stopping by the dollop. We'll see you next week.
Is that our...

Speaker 6 Dine in or take out?

Speaker 11 That's it.

Speaker 6 Rotisserie chicken.

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