694 - John Considine - Live

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Speaker 6 You're listening to the dollar.

Speaker 12 This is an American History Podcast, or each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to this thing.

Speaker 6 Thank you, sir. Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about.
Thank you, David. A lovely intro, as always.

Speaker 12 You're going to learn a lot tonight, shithead.

Speaker 6 Seems like a highly aggressive start.

Speaker 6 September 29th, 1868.

Speaker 12 I probably should have looked up how to pronounce this guy's name.

Speaker 12 John Considine. Could be Considine.

Speaker 6 It doesn't matter. It's Spokane, Spokane.

Speaker 12 Whatever. It's a fucking difference.

Speaker 6 Potato, potato.

Speaker 12 They don't get mad when you call it. What did he call it? Spokane? Yeah.
Yeah. Boy, you guys didn't care for that, did you?

Speaker 12 But nobody, most people don't know where your city is, so be happy that he knew the name.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Get famous for more than trout. Maybe we'll learn it.
Two, three, four.

Speaker 12 What's his name? Shea?

Speaker 12 Matt Shea and Trout. That's all you got.

Speaker 6 Yep.

Speaker 12 By the way, we have a famous woman here tonight who ran against Shea.

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 Is that you? And he doxed her. He doxed her.

Speaker 12 Matt Shea doxed her.

Speaker 12 She's up there. Oh.
Thank you for coming.

Speaker 6 Sorry we didn't get you a better seat for this event.

Speaker 12 Just to let you know, someday I will get vengeance and kill Matt Shea on your behalf.

Speaker 6 And

Speaker 12 after I kill him, I will write your name and blood on the wall

Speaker 6 as sort of an honorarium, right? Like this. I won't be involved in any of that.

Speaker 12 This is for you, ma'am. And I also will cover Gareth in blood, also.

Speaker 6 No, it's really...

Speaker 12 I don't know what you said. I'll still don't care.

Speaker 6 It's nice, though. I do believe it was like playing a record backwards when he spoke.
Yeah, Rat, you're the art, Monyano next.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 6 Here's the deal. Two people have microphones.
The rest ruined the event.

Speaker 12 John Considine was born in Chicago in 1868 to Irish immigrants Mary and John William.

Speaker 6 Oh, whoa.

Speaker 6 That baby.

Speaker 6 Whoa. Is that...
What's it coming out of?

Speaker 6 Oh, a hole. That's a baby hole.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 6 I didn't know they came out dressed. I just always assumed.

Speaker 12 Oh, no, when I say a baby hole, some, particularly in the Northwest, when they have their babies, they put them underground.

Speaker 6 Oh, they can't see it.

Speaker 12 I swear to God, I was like, we're bombing so hard early.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I told you not to talk. Yeah, remember when I told you not to talk, sir? That still holds.
We got there without you.

Speaker 12 It was up there earlier until you kicked it.

Speaker 6 Until I kicked it?

Speaker 6 What are you talking about?

Speaker 6 But you kicked the computer.

Speaker 12 It happened. As hard as you could.

Speaker 6 Oh, well, this show's not going good.

Speaker 6 Yeah, turn around. I'll go take a look.
How's that?

Speaker 6 Is that good?

Speaker 12 Can you actually fucking see anything there?

Speaker 6 All right, so let's go from baby hole.

Speaker 6 I didn't know they came out clothed. See, that was funny.

Speaker 12 In Spokane, they put...

Speaker 6 That was funny.

Speaker 6 Ah!

Speaker 6 Don't touch it!

Speaker 6 I like how Luke, Luke. Luke, Luke.
Luke, it's not, Luke, it's not working. I just showed him my balls.

Speaker 12 That was why they're doing that.

Speaker 6 I'm so nervous to move it. May I seep closer?

Speaker 12 I'm very nervous to move.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that's good. Don't push it.
This is like, remember antennas? This is what that was like.

Speaker 6 Stay there, honey. The golf's working.

Speaker 12 Anyway, we were making jokes about that fucking baby.

Speaker 6 Oh, no, no, we'll go from the top. Is that how they come out?

Speaker 12 Okay, so John.

Speaker 6 So I guess the bombing wasn't the picture's fault.

Speaker 12 What's that?

Speaker 6 I thought we were having an epic comeback. People were like, still not very funny.

Speaker 12 John Considine was born in Chicago in 1868 to Irish immigrants Mary and John William. He went to Catholic schools.

Speaker 6 The family was devote Roman Catholic.

Speaker 12 He went to St. Mary's College in Kansas and then spent a short time as a cop in Chicago.

Speaker 12 That's correct.

Speaker 12 But he had the acting bug and was offered a job with a traveling acting company and this is how he made his way to Seattle in 1889.

Speaker 6 He's a tough

Speaker 12 teetotaling, very religious, and pretty broke 21-year-old.

Speaker 12 So he was not so much an actor as a showman. He was a very good talker and he was a networker.
Same.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 12 When I think of you, I think of, I think.

Speaker 6 The performance is the problem, but networking is what I do.

Speaker 6 Connections.

Speaker 6 And the what? Connections.

Speaker 12 Do that again?

Speaker 6 Connections.

Speaker 6 That's how I fixed that. Connections.
And let's not sleep on when I saved the laptop.

Speaker 6 You sat idly by.

Speaker 12 You kicked the laptop and...

Speaker 6 Shut the fuck up about your made-up kick.

Speaker 12 John was also very large. He was six feet and muscled.
He wore, now, when we say people, like, that's not that large, but back then you were a giant at six feet. Yeah.

Speaker 12 He wore suits and loud ties and white gloves.

Speaker 6 Oh, wow. All right.
That's not a great energy. No.

Speaker 6 I might bring that back. I think that's an intimidation for my networking.
Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 6 And I might go elbow length.

Speaker 6 And do this, like, no, don't dirty them. Yeah.
Away, boy. Yeah.

Speaker 6 And then I'll have a third for for fucking that across people.

Speaker 6 A third glove.

Speaker 6 Because I don't want to go elbow down.

Speaker 12 Is that one here in the procket, the breast pocket of the...

Speaker 6 No, that's where my kerchief will be. And in the back pocket will be a third glove.

Speaker 12 What if you pull it out of your asshole?

Speaker 6 Huh?

Speaker 12 What if you pull it out of your asshole?

Speaker 6 The human tissue declares a duel.

Speaker 12 And he chewed gum constantly.

Speaker 6 They had gum. Yeah, they had gum.
Well, they had gum.

Speaker 12 They had gum now. Now it's like doing a podcast with my mom.
They had gum.

Speaker 6 That's an it. Trust me, I'm the voice of the people.
That's interesting.

Speaker 6 We're all wondering when gum got invented. And I actually do think we talked about it on the show before.

Speaker 12 I think so.

Speaker 12 He rarely swore and he had a bad temper. He was smart.

Speaker 12 Within two years of landing and yeah, by the way, I couldn't find any shit about Spokane, so this must be about Seattle.

Speaker 12 Oh, is there nothing about fish? Fuck off!

Speaker 6 Why don't you tell that story about that real big trout?

Speaker 6 Tell the story of the famous tree.

Speaker 6 Within two years. I mean, we are here.
We are here.

Speaker 12 Anyway, we probably shouldn't back up.

Speaker 6 I mean, it's great to be here.

Speaker 12 This is the first time I've been here. I've German past here.

Speaker 6 I've been here a bunch.

Speaker 6 And honestly, it's one of those towns where like after the show people are like, why are you here?

Speaker 6 Are you okay?

Speaker 6 You should go.

Speaker 12 So within two years of landing in Seattle, he was managing the People's Theater.

Speaker 6 Nice.

Speaker 12 So Seattle had been established in 1851.

Speaker 12 When the city was 12 years old, Miss Edith Mitchell was stranded there waiting for a ship.

Speaker 12 And the Washington Gazette called her, quote, an actress of noted ability and favorable celebrity. Interesting.

Speaker 12 She put on what is considered the first professional performance in Seattle, doing, quote, readings and personations of characters from Shakespeare and other great poets.

Speaker 6 Oh, it would have been awesome to watch that.

Speaker 12 You'd be like, this is fucking horrible.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Like, now your brain's so rotted, you'd be like, this is terrible.

Speaker 12 Yeah, she's just gonna

Speaker 12 read this shit over and over.

Speaker 9 And now I'll be Juliet.

Speaker 12 Christ.

Speaker 12 She also read from other great poets.

Speaker 6 Honestly, I mean, it's awful. Yeah, my brain is just, it's rotted, I'll be honest.

Speaker 6 Watching someone read poetry, I'd be like, stop.

Speaker 6 This is horrible.

Speaker 6 If it doesn't rhyme, what are you doing? Right? Anyone could do that if it's not rhyming. They're like, that makes it better.
Wrong. No.
As an audience member, it's just not as good. It's terrible.

Speaker 6 Anyone could do that.

Speaker 12 You're just talking.

Speaker 6 It's just weird. You have a weird point.
Say it right or make it rhyme. What do they do? Pick a lane, lady.

Speaker 12 Locals watched it in a small hall above a store.

Speaker 12 1865.

Speaker 12 Henry Yessler built the first hall. It was 30 by 100 feet.

Speaker 12 And the first professional play was put on in 1871. Uncle Tom's Cabin.

Speaker 6 Oh, dear. Oh, boy.

Speaker 12 So now talks became very common in Seattle.

Speaker 6 Uncle Tom's Cabin. A magnificent production.

Speaker 6 Oh, no, art.

Speaker 12 Of life among the lowly. Wow, that's cool.

Speaker 12 High-class entertainment. The historic slave market.
There's a lot of good stuff on this bill.

Speaker 12 A pair of full-blooded bloodhounds trade to take part in the drama are used in the thrilling scene showing Eliza escaping from the slave hunters.

Speaker 6 Why'd you read it, dude?

Speaker 6 Why the fuck did you read it?

Speaker 6 It was small enough for no one to read.

Speaker 6 And you pushed it. You wanted to know.
Well, guess what, asshole? Fine print back then is is not good.

Speaker 6 Their headlines are bad.

Speaker 6 Their fine print is awful. They're like, mind if I drop a couple of N-words in here real quick in this tiny little font?

Speaker 12 It was a great show tonight. There was a young lady in blackface and they had animals chase her across the stage.

Speaker 6 The room was about 20 feet by 80.

Speaker 12 She got eaten by.

Speaker 6 Yeah, she couldn't run very far.

Speaker 6 I don't think those hounds were actors.

Speaker 12 Anyway, it's a great and moral play.

Speaker 12 Okay, so talks became very common in Seattle. There was one on phrenology.
Oh, great.

Speaker 12 Physiognomy?

Speaker 12 What is physiognomy?

Speaker 6 Well, that's where that guy putted out.

Speaker 6 Physiognomy?

Speaker 12 I don't know how to pronounce words, but fuck you for asking what they

Speaker 6 I don't even think what I suggested is a word, to be honest, with you. You just took the bait,

Speaker 6 which is common in these parts.

Speaker 12 Anthropology, love, love.

Speaker 12 This is just one, but

Speaker 12 yeah, this is one talk. This is the advertised bunch of people.

Speaker 6 This guy's covering a lot of topics. Now, see, this show I'd see.

Speaker 6 Now, love.

Speaker 6 That's pretty crazy.

Speaker 6 Sorry. It's okay, buddy.

Speaker 12 Getting it back.

Speaker 12 Phrenology, physiognomy,

Speaker 12 anthropology, love, courtship, matrimony, the transfusion of desired qualities from parents to children, laws of health, diet, bathing, exercise, intellectual, moral, social improvements, ethical science, moral philosophy, universal reforms, etc.

Speaker 6 By... Etc., there's more.

Speaker 6 And other things.

Speaker 6 Oh, why didn't you finish the list?

Speaker 6 Holy fuck. That's one performance.
By

Speaker 6 Court Chip.

Speaker 12 By Dr. C.
Pinkham.

Speaker 6 C. Pinkham? Pinkham.
Bingham. Pink'em.
Pinkham? Pinkham. Okay.

Speaker 12 And he closed the show by examining two heads.

Speaker 6 Can you imagine going up on stage for that and having a guy be like,

Speaker 6 she's got a small head.

Speaker 6 She's unlovable, unmotherly.

Speaker 12 Do you have a big round head in the back? Well, you're a good mother. Do you have a flat head?

Speaker 6 You are fucked. Can I get two volunteers with different heads?

Speaker 6 Trust me, this will be worth it.

Speaker 6 All right, now you can see this lady has a big large head. That means she's a good mom.
No chin.

Speaker 6 Whereas this next lady's got a tiny head and no hair. She shouldn't have kids.
But I can tell where her throat starts.

Speaker 6 Hey, how good is this show?

Speaker 12 Read what it says under parental love.

Speaker 6 Where it's,

Speaker 6 oh, fuck me.

Speaker 6 It's parental love or the study of philoprogenitivisus.

Speaker 12 Phylloprogenitivis.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 12 I think. So, entertainment was not great in Seattle.
That's what we're saying.

Speaker 12 So in 1871, oh, I already did that. So in 1875, the Daily Pacific Tribune reviewed a show, quote, their performances were all good, especially those of two or three of the horses.

Speaker 6 That's the problem.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you can't beat that.

Speaker 12 What in the fuck is happening?

Speaker 6 What do you mean? That's way better.

Speaker 12 On stage?

Speaker 6 Yeah, they probably did the fake counting thing. There was probably a lot.
Even if they didn't, you were like, this horse is unbelievable.

Speaker 12 I don't know if it's in a different hall, but the first hall they built was on the second floor.

Speaker 6 Buddy, horses are very capable of climbing.

Speaker 6 Have you ever watched Tressage? Nope.

Speaker 6 Well, brother,

Speaker 6 run, don't walk.

Speaker 12 The John Jack Theatrical Company formed, and the first performance was East Lynn. Quote, in the third act, little Willie refused to pass his checks.

Speaker 12 Being frightened and unaccustomed to the business, the child couldn't see the utility of shuffling off the coil thusly. What?

Speaker 12 He wouldn't leave the stage.

Speaker 6 He wouldn't leave the stage.

Speaker 12 Notwithstanding the desperate efforts of his heartbroken mother, Madame Vane, to make him lay down and die. So I guess he's supposed to die.
So

Speaker 12 his part in the play was that he dies. But he's like, no.

Speaker 6 He was like, nah, yeah, it's awesome.

Speaker 6 See, that's better than a horse. Watching a kid refuse to do the stage direction.

Speaker 6 No, I don't want to. You have to die now.

Speaker 12 The horse didn't have to.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 12 Mr. Jack was reluctantly obliged to bring down the curtain.

Speaker 6 Oh,

Speaker 6 that's great.

Speaker 6 I like the idea that

Speaker 6 that show had a very weird ending.

Speaker 6 I didn't understand it. You know, that's what I liked about watching those two horses.

Speaker 12 It made sense. It did make sense.

Speaker 6 This show was very strange, how the boy wouldn't pass away. And she kept saying, die.

Speaker 12 Die, boy, die.

Speaker 6 He said, you're not my mom, but that was his mom.

Speaker 12 But not his mom, mom.

Speaker 6 Well, that's where it lost me.

Speaker 6 Strange.

Speaker 12 Jack then took the troop on the road to places like Spokane where he lost money.

Speaker 12 In Victoria, two cast members got drunk and refused to perform.

Speaker 6 Nice.

Speaker 12 Jack tried to juice up the show on their return to Seattle. The dispatch, quote,

Speaker 12 It is of the dime novel melodrama description and consisted of four abductions, one attempted poisoning, two bowie knife combats, one chloroforming, and 24 hundred. This is in the play.

Speaker 6 What?

Speaker 12 This is the play.

Speaker 6 This is how he spiced it up? Yes. It was like, guys,

Speaker 6 I've been doing rewrites and we just didn't have enough chloroforming.

Speaker 6 We're four shy of a show.

Speaker 12 A lot of people gotta die.

Speaker 6 So everyone's gonna get chloroformed at least once during the performance. I'm not gonna do that.
You'll be first.

Speaker 12 Consisted of four abductions, one attempted poisoning, two Bowie knife combats, one chloroforming, and 24 homicides.

Speaker 6 It's an intense. So people were like, I gotta go on stage and get killed again.

Speaker 12 It's probably just people coming back on as different characters.

Speaker 6 Yeah, right, for sure. Just people like, hello, I'm walking.
Oh!

Speaker 6 Not a chloroforming.

Speaker 12 Oh, now I'll probably get stabbed.

Speaker 12 And from beginning to end, there was a running fire of revolvers.

Speaker 12 A lot of shooting.

Speaker 6 Are they shooting?

Speaker 12 I don't know if they would have blanks back then. What the fuck?

Speaker 6 Well, that's going to help with the murder count, really.

Speaker 11 Perfect.

Speaker 12 It didn't work. Jack went broke.

Speaker 6 Oh.

Speaker 6 He only had three suits left.

Speaker 12 By the 1880s, Seattle could draw bigger names: opera companies, violinists, a guy who had, quote, trained a cat to perform the marvelous feat of picking up soda water bottles and carrying it off stage.

Speaker 6 Now, there, that's why I got the bad. a bad thing.

Speaker 12 Yeah, you are 100% in now.

Speaker 6 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 Well, that's awesome. I mean, the idea that a cat could carry, that would be amazing.
Yeah.

Speaker 12 Well, amazing's not maybe the right word. What? It's a cat carrying a bottle off a stage.
What the fuck?

Speaker 6 You're just being an asshole because that would be incredible. If you saw someone train their cat to do that, you'd be like, that's shocking.
If you saw that on Instagram, you'd send it to me.

Speaker 6 Shut the fuck up. That's amazing.

Speaker 12 So boxing's illegal, so only private clubs could have fights.

Speaker 12 So boxers came and joined clubs, and then someone realized they could write a play that the boxer would star in, and then the final act would be him fighting a local boxer.

Speaker 6 All right, that's fucking awesome. That is...

Speaker 6 The cat water bottle can take a backseat to the idea that you write a show all about an ending ending where your main character might get the shit kicked out of him. Yeah.

Speaker 6 I put it all on myself for this match. So all I gotta do is go beat the local legend.

Speaker 12 So, uh, Men.

Speaker 6 Come on, Baldy, let's go.

Speaker 6 Well, fuck, he just got the shit kicked out of us. The ending doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 6 Bring the curtain down. Chloroform the other boxer.
This is just.

Speaker 6 I'm in the hole a lot of fucking money. No, I'm not gonna do that.

Speaker 6 Oh my god, we're in the hole a lot.

Speaker 12 We're really. I'll kick the shit out.
You too.

Speaker 12 Who are you right now? I'm the boy who wouldn't be a clerk.

Speaker 6 You're the boy who wouldn't fall early.

Speaker 12 Jesus Christ, will you focus on the theater and what we're doing in it?

Speaker 6 Look, I'm doing a lot right now. I'm trying to revamp a show that's not going well

Speaker 6 by adding a lot of characters in it.

Speaker 6 The last show I wrote was a choose your own adventure boxing match.

Speaker 12 So, with this setup, a lot of big boxers come through. They would act and then fight.
One was Ruby.

Speaker 6 The acting part had to be so good.

Speaker 12 It would have been so bad. Oh, my God.

Speaker 6 What I was trying to tell you from before, Mom.

Speaker 6 I forgot it.

Speaker 6 I forgot it again.

Speaker 6 Hold on. I'm going to go talk to the guy in charge.

Speaker 6 Hey. What am I supposed to say?

Speaker 12 It doesn't matter. Just whatever you want.

Speaker 6 I'm an actor in a play. No, hey, no, Bob.

Speaker 12 No, just like make stuff up. Like, not about who you really are.
Like, make like a character up and then just go, whatever.

Speaker 6 My name,

Speaker 6 I am the charge of this play. I'm on stage talking to this boxer.
Bob, Bob. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Call me Ruby. Stop saying.
Call me Ruby. Ruby?

Speaker 12 Yeah. Stop saying that you're in a play and just go out there and make some stuff up.

Speaker 6 The only problem is, I don't know if you can see where my dog's from.

Speaker 6 I think everyone's confused.

Speaker 12 That's Australia.

Speaker 6 Huh?

Speaker 6 I'm Australian? Yeah. The character or me in real life?

Speaker 12 Oh, you're from Australia.

Speaker 6 I know, but I'm a character. You said I was supposed to make it up.
I can't work under these conditions.

Speaker 6 You keep asking me to be inventive, even I aim.

Speaker 12 I'm gonna fight you in a second.

Speaker 6 Now that's a production.

Speaker 12 So a lot of big boxers came through, like Ruby Rob Fitzsimmons. The ad said, quote, spar three rounds, make a horse.

Speaker 6 Three rounds?

Speaker 12 Spar three rounds, make a horseshoe, punch the bag, shoe a horse, sing a funny song.

Speaker 6 This is so great to not know what performance is in any way. Like, to have not figured it out.
Did other countries not have shows? I mean, we had

Speaker 6 it was performance. I mean, performance existed, but America's like, justice.
What you need to do is put a carnival on stage, but it's scripted.

Speaker 6 Come on stage, fill a cloud's mouth with water. Put a shoe on a horse.
Shoe in a basket.

Speaker 12 I don't want to go to your stupid play. There's a shoe on a horse.

Speaker 6 Trust me, you do.

Speaker 6 Make taffy. What's a play? We don't know.

Speaker 12 Quality actors also came through now. Irving Barrymore, W.C.
Fields, Sarah Bernhardt.

Speaker 12 Sarah Bernhardt

Speaker 12 told locals that she wanted to go hunting.

Speaker 12 Quote, they obligingly took her to the shore of Lake Washington, put her safely in a blind, and ushered into her sight an ancient bear that had been left behind by a circus.

Speaker 12 She killed the bear

Speaker 12 and carried his skin back to France. There she told people she'd come across the bear in a forest and killed it with her bare hands.

Speaker 6 Jesus Christ. What the fuck? She Donald Trump junior the bear and that was just like...

Speaker 6 You know, I I actually kid this with my bare hands

Speaker 6 imagine that the as so far I mean she is an actress so yeah

Speaker 6 yes it came upon me and I made myself look bigger then I cut his throat skinned him and customs did not care

Speaker 6 I love that the bear is just an old bear who's like okay I'll go ancient bear who's like it's nice to finally be out of the circus

Speaker 6 Not so fast, my buddy boy.

Speaker 6 We don't have any morals.

Speaker 12 I finally feel the sun on my body.

Speaker 6 Yes, stop pretending like he just walked out that day. That is worse.

Speaker 6 In my version, he's been there for a couple weeks and he's like, this is nice.

Speaker 6 Maybe you could find me a lady bear?

Speaker 6 For sure. There's a lady bear in heat over there.

Speaker 6 All right.

Speaker 6 Woo-hoo.

Speaker 6 Oh.

Speaker 6 Oh, oh, oh.

Speaker 6 Wait, hey,

Speaker 6 there's no lady bear at all.

Speaker 6 You're waking up bear.

Speaker 6 Well, now there's a lot of blood going, to be honest. I'm acting.

Speaker 6 Someone's kidding

Speaker 6 So theater isn't going great in Seattle.

Speaker 12 And the whole Northwest, troops are folding. Their owners are fleeing in the night because they're in debt.

Speaker 6 That's fucking hilarious.

Speaker 6 Come on, let's go.

Speaker 12 The cultured class complained that only scandalous shows made money.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 It's just like you're watching online content now. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Jesus Christ. All right.
So I got to get abs and do stand-up. I can't do this.

Speaker 12 In 1885, the Post Intelligencer warned readers that a show of 20 women was on the way. Quote, this is about the show of 20 women coming.

Speaker 12 The chief and only attraction being its purpose and the practice of its actors to pander to the depraved tastes of the spectators.

Speaker 12 It is an indecent exhibition of a lot of women who, for what they can make out of it, parade their half-naked forms on stage. It is needless to say that the show draws immensely.

Speaker 6 Well, because fucking morons keep putting articles in the paper of outrage that sound like ads. Yeah.
These hot fucking women are pretty naked.

Speaker 6 You see outlines, you know what's there.

Speaker 12 I wasn't gonna go because it just kept talking about horse ladies, but now

Speaker 12 this says that the half-time horse ladies.

Speaker 6 Nobody's talking about horse ladies anymore. We were shut down.
That production closed.

Speaker 12 Well, it says in here you can see her ass.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 12 So Seattle shows had

Speaker 12 they had shows in that what were called box houses on Skid Row.

Speaker 12 And a box house was a saloon that had a theater attached. And they were usually found in basements.

Speaker 6 By the way, we've performed. That's the ideal situation.
Yeah. Wasted people are like, what is this?

Speaker 6 Holy shit, horse girl.

Speaker 6 Ma'am, are you really a chimney sweep? Because I got a smokestack that is filthy.

Speaker 6 What did you charge? You should probably put on a couple more layers. You might get hurt.

Speaker 12 They were usually found in basements and had to close during the rainy season because the floors were covered in water.

Speaker 6 What?

Speaker 6 It got wet.

Speaker 12 Okay. See, it's down there on the

Speaker 12 wetland.

Speaker 6 Right.

Speaker 12 Some box houses were built on pilings on the Elliott Bay tide flats. That way they could drop just a drunk through the trapdoors and then they'd wade ashore or float or whatever.

Speaker 6 Wait.

Speaker 6 What?

Speaker 12 What do you mean? They would, one of the reasons they built them on title flats because if someone got too drunk or whatever, they could just open up the trapdoor.

Speaker 6 Why did that stop? Why did we get rid of trapdoors?

Speaker 6 It feels like there's never been a better time to bring back the trapdoor.

Speaker 12 I think because people died.

Speaker 6 I'm not saying it's a perfect system, but I am saying that

Speaker 6 right now we need some Hail Marys and trapdoors really considering what's going on can be pretty helpful.

Speaker 12 There should be a lot of trapdoors.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 More trapdoors? Oh, fuck. How great would life be? Great.
We all need more of a purpose. Yeah.
Hey, if in your house, you're like, I'm going to invite Clark over. I'm sick of him.

Speaker 6 Come closer. Little more.

Speaker 6 Little more.

Speaker 12 Put on the horse head.

Speaker 6 And then it just drops it. You're in an apartment.
It just drops it in your neighbor's place.

Speaker 6 What the fuck?

Speaker 6 Hello. Come closer.
Little more.

Speaker 6 I just did this upstairs.

Speaker 6 I don't have a trapdoor. A little more, idiot.

Speaker 6 Who are you?

Speaker 6 Step back a little bit. I'm not.
No.

Speaker 6 I don't have a trapdoor. Yes, you do.
All right, I do. But leave through that door.
I don't know who you are. Leave through the regular door.

Speaker 6 I prefer the trap.

Speaker 6 That's my boy.

Speaker 6 Everyone's an inventor.

Speaker 12 So, a description of a box house from Coast magazine: quote,

Speaker 12 nervous opium-eating individual was hammering away at the piano. In the hall-like space before the stage were a hundred or more men and boys.

Speaker 12 Not a woman was to be seen in the row of seats, only men smoking and chewing tobacco and boys eating peanuts.

Speaker 6 So there were no women in the box house?

Speaker 12 Well in the theater part of the box house.

Speaker 6 Right, it's just men eating peanuts and smoking. Boy, there's a real nice smell in this room.

Speaker 6 Sickly men who are smoking and crushing peanuts.

Speaker 12 Okay, around the sides of the room and at the end opposite the stage were built out thin pineboard small apartments with an opening towards the platform and a barn-like door leading into the narrow passageway along the wall.

Speaker 6 So you could have a home? So there's little rooms that are yeah, that you could just kind of walk out and be like, cool.

Speaker 12 No, it's not a home. That's the box.
Those are boxes.

Speaker 6 And the boxes are what?

Speaker 12 They're the... This is a box house, so there's little tiny box rooms up there.

Speaker 6 So like a few little, like, yeah, theater. Okay, so you could be like, ooh,

Speaker 6 what's in here? This is horrible.

Speaker 12 In each room was an electric torch button, which communicated with a bar set up behind the stage. The boxes were unlighted, save

Speaker 12 a stray bee might enter at the window. In these boxes were women.

Speaker 6 I mean, I understand being disappointed, but also, you know.

Speaker 6 Look at this room. What did you think it was going to be? Boy, they are doing some great checkoff upstairs

Speaker 12 one in some more in others women with dresses reaching nearly to the point above their knees holding

Speaker 6 you know what that's close to

Speaker 12 with stained and sweaty tights oh why

Speaker 12 what read it again with stained and sweaty tights okay

Speaker 6 someone do a wash

Speaker 12 With bare arms and necks uncovered over halfway to their wrists.

Speaker 6 Oh, whoa.

Speaker 6 Wait, elbow?

Speaker 6 Did we not know what an elbow was yet? Buddy, the fabric goes halfway down to their wrists. So, half the way down to the arm?

Speaker 6 You do the math.

Speaker 6 All I know is it looks like they pissed themselves.

Speaker 6 And you come in stinking of grits and peanuts, the vibe electric.

Speaker 12 With blonde hair and some with powdered wigs, with faces rouged and powdered, eyebrows with winkers mutted up and blackened, there stood the female contingency at the doors and in the boxes.

Speaker 12 So this is the kind of place that John Constantine is running.

Speaker 12 The people's theater, as we said at the beginning. Profits came from booze and gambling, and women would perform and then go into the boxes and get men to buy drinks or sex.

Speaker 6 So it is a brothel, essentially.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Okay.
But they're fucking with the... But the theater part of it, you're like, well, it's also a show.

Speaker 12 No, it's. There's a kind of a show.
Well, there's a costume.

Speaker 6 Yeah. Sort of.
Yeah, there's like a, there's, there's a. I like how he's like, I'm still a director of theater.

Speaker 6 Hey, there's a drunk man full of peanuts in your your room. Go fuck him.

Speaker 6 It took me a while to find my voice as a playwright.

Speaker 6 Didn't come easy.

Speaker 12 So John is an actor, so this is kind of offensive to him. So he decided to get more customers by having professional actresses

Speaker 12 while others ladies work the boxes. So instead of like having them perform and then the guys going, I want that one, fuck, wanted sex,

Speaker 12 they just have women who are actual performers do a show and then those guys go, want other woman, and then they go, fuck a lady in the woman.

Speaker 6 So it was kind of like

Speaker 6 a bait and switch.

Speaker 6 You'd be like, women on stage performing, and then they'd be like, I'm all riled up from all that acting.

Speaker 6 Now I'm going to go to the fuck room. It's very similar still to me.
The only difference is there's like some women up there like mom, you don't do that to me. He's like, this is a good play.

Speaker 6 I should fuck someone. Yeah.
I'm so full of peanuts and tobacco and ale.

Speaker 12 This place must have smelled so bad.

Speaker 6 Oh, unfucking godly.

Speaker 6 God godly.

Speaker 6 You'd walk in and you'd be like, and they'd be like, well, fancy boy.

Speaker 6 Not a knocker room where you could flick your butts and your shells on the ground.

Speaker 6 Well, we're doing a performance tonight, just so you know.

Speaker 12 So it works. There's better shows, more people come.
He's making $2,000 a month.

Speaker 12 There's often fights in the box houses because it's a rough environment. Sure.

Speaker 12 Not everyone's happy with the box houses, right?

Speaker 12 The refined

Speaker 12 folks, the church going.

Speaker 6 The women working in the boxes?

Speaker 12 They're fine with it. They're making cash.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 12 They took over city government in 1894 and passed an ordinance forbidding liquor sales in theaters.

Speaker 6 Well, that's going to change a lot of stuff.

Speaker 12 So John moved to Spokane and set up shop.

Speaker 6 Some people not so proud of that.

Speaker 6 People like, wait, don't be happy. So he went to a place where laws didn't matter and nobody gave a flying fuck about anything.

Speaker 6 here

Speaker 12 so he was here for three years uh and doing the same shit box houses until spokane barred women from working in box houses which

Speaker 6 okay now what is what's worse no booze or no women no women absolutely yeah

Speaker 6 because you just get i'm gonna get shit faced to go to the box houses Now you're just like, now I'm drunk and I don't know what to do. Are we allowed to jack off in here?

Speaker 6 Oh my God. We live in hell.

Speaker 6 This is hell.

Speaker 6 I paid to go jerk off in a room.

Speaker 6 I'm going to go into that box house, the empty box house and eat peanuts and jack off.

Speaker 6 We've lost what made us America.

Speaker 6 Will they at least leave some of their horribly sweaty clothes behind?

Speaker 6 Maybe I could form it into If there's a powdered wig, I could form it into a lump of something.

Speaker 6 Try to fuck that.

Speaker 6 I'm just saying.

Speaker 12 We'd like you to leave.

Speaker 6 I'm just saying hope's not dead.

Speaker 12 Jimmy, we'd like you to leave, actually.

Speaker 6 I can't leave. Yeah, you can't.
We gotta make this work. Trapdoor.
Ah! Wait, wait.

Speaker 6 Wait.

Speaker 6 Hold on.

Speaker 6 Can I jack off before I fall? No.

Speaker 6 Can I get a handful of peanuts for my death?

Speaker 12 I'll throw them in your fucking face.

Speaker 6 Hey!

Speaker 6 Finally done it!

Speaker 6 Hey, I survived the fall! Oh, fuck!

Speaker 6 Dress him up like a bear! Oh boy, that sounds erotic!

Speaker 6 So, I said, hey, I'm okay. Get the fuck out of here.
Hey, I'm okay still. I don't care.
Give me a cigarette. What? Give me a smoke, you fuck.

Speaker 6 Oh!

Speaker 6 What the fuck is happening?

Speaker 6 Hey.

Speaker 6 I'm gonna die real soon. I'm dying.

Speaker 12 It doesn't seem like it.

Speaker 6 Take me up to one of them box houses to die.

Speaker 6 I have a final request.

Speaker 6 Ah,

Speaker 6 We should put a woman back in one of the box houses.

Speaker 6 Could be good.

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Speaker 12 So John goes to

Speaker 12 the mayor of Spokane and asked if he could shut down the boxes and just have women in the theater selling drinks. But the mayor's like, no.

Speaker 12 So he closed his theater in Spokane and went back to Seattle.

Speaker 6 Where it was just no liquor.

Speaker 6 Well,

Speaker 12 after John's...

Speaker 6 Did he know about other cities? No. He was like, well, you got to pick.
There's only two I've heard of.

Speaker 12 There are no other cities in Washington.

Speaker 6 That's awesome. That's awesome.

Speaker 6 I know it's true. It is amazing.

Speaker 6 It is amazing to just be like, well.

Speaker 6 That's it. Yeah, that's it.
Nothing.

Speaker 12 Are we going to call Everett a city?

Speaker 12 Yeah, see, that they exist so you can feel Bellingham basically fucking Canada

Speaker 11 Pitching against it? What? Huh?

Speaker 6 Every city has a taco belt, and that's what's nice. We are a country.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 12 So after John had left Seattle, the People's Theater was empty and it was full of vermin and filth and cobwebs and it, quote, resembled a place where pigs hold forth.

Speaker 12 And then hobos took over the boxes and were living in them.

Speaker 12 And

Speaker 12 hey,

Speaker 12 someone's in that box up there.

Speaker 6 Oh no.

Speaker 12 I think they reopened. How the fuck are you alive?

Speaker 6 Well, it's a wild story, Jane.

Speaker 6 But I went up there and had my way with one of the box women. That's a hobo.
Oh, boy.

Speaker 6 That explains so much.

Speaker 6 By the way, I am dead.

Speaker 12 Isn't that crazy? It's pretty crazy, yeah.

Speaker 6 It's been a wild run for me. I've had my weirdest year yet.

Speaker 12 Why are you talking to me?

Speaker 6 I have unfinished business here

Speaker 6 in this realm. I need you to help me solve something so I can ascend.

Speaker 12 Oh, I don't want to do this. What am I supposed to help you solve?

Speaker 6 Come on. If you help me, I'll help you.

Speaker 12 Nah, I just...

Speaker 6 I can't ascend until one... If we set one...
What?

Speaker 6 I gotta have a handful of peanuts.

Speaker 6 That's it?

Speaker 6 Here.

Speaker 6 Well, no, not... No.

Speaker 6 But

Speaker 6 I can't grab anything.

Speaker 6 It's gonna be so hard.

Speaker 6 This is really hard.

Speaker 12 you're a ghost, and the only way to get off this earthly

Speaker 12 is to get a handful of peanuts for me to eat one more handful of peanuts. But you can't hold peanuts because you're a ghost.
Bingo.

Speaker 6 Talk about a conundrum.

Speaker 6 We're about to go on a ride, Amigo.

Speaker 12 I don't think we're going on anything. I'm just going to leave you

Speaker 6 here.

Speaker 6 Oh, wait.

Speaker 6 Oh.

Speaker 12 Why would I help you?

Speaker 6 I don't have uh

Speaker 6 I'll give you a million dollars

Speaker 6 You don't have your

Speaker 6 no, I don't have any

Speaker 12 give my best friend

Speaker 12 Okay, I gotta go I gotta go too trapdoor

Speaker 12 So there's all these hobos living the boxes, but then gold is found in the Klondike and and thousands of bros pour into Seattle.

Speaker 12 And the box houses reopen because the city council are okay with the box houses taking advantage of

Speaker 12 like non-locals.

Speaker 6 Right?

Speaker 6 It hasn't been open. That's hilarious.
You can come in here if you don't live here.

Speaker 6 Outsiders only.

Speaker 6 We don't want our kind.

Speaker 12 So the People's Theater reopens and the new renters spent thousands cleaning it up and then that's when john comes back into town now he knew the the people theater's owners and he bet that the new renters only had a verbal agreement with them so he goes down to san francisco and undermines the deal and signs a year lease for the theater

Speaker 12 and to start he brought the most famous variety performer of the time can't wait belly dancer little egypt

Speaker 6 Okay, so she's there.

Speaker 12 So she's known nationally. She's a very well-known dancer.
Well, she also is known because she got arrested in New York for dancing nude at a party.

Speaker 6 So she's not just Billy.

Speaker 12 So when she got to Seattle, the press is there very excited, which just helps business, obviously. And the People's was once more the top box house in Seattle, and John's status shot up.

Speaker 12 Now, the fourth ward where the theater was delivered more votes than any other part of the city. And John now controls a lot of votes because he's rich and he's from that area.

Speaker 12 So, the rich and powerful of Seattle are coming to him, and papers described him as the statesman or the boss sport.

Speaker 12 So, he wore expensive suits and gaudy ties and high collars, and he only drank ice water and chewed a shitload of gum. He chewed five sticks of gum at once.

Speaker 6 Oh, wow.

Speaker 6 What?

Speaker 12 That's crazy.

Speaker 6 That is crazy. Yeah.
It's also, it's aged him. Yeah.

Speaker 6 You'd think he'd have a stronger lower half.

Speaker 12 Strong jaw. He could bite through a bike.

Speaker 6 He looks flappy. Yeah.

Speaker 12 His sidekick was...

Speaker 6 Ah, the best.

Speaker 6 Already awesome.

Speaker 6 It's what you need. You always need a gunboat.
What are you talking about?

Speaker 6 Come on, I'm the boss board.

Speaker 12 Well, his sidekick was his brother Tom, who was a known tough guy. Wow.
And then also a guy named Doc Shaughnessy was John's bodyguard.

Speaker 6 That's, yeah, all right. That's a crew.

Speaker 12 Now, Doc opened a gym where he would, quote,

Speaker 12 remove fat fast from fighters and men under 40. For those over 40, I'll just try.

Speaker 6 It's tough to hear.

Speaker 6 It's tough to hear. Back then, I was like, yeah, you're fat for life, sir.
You're over 40. This is before eugenics.

Speaker 6 That's right. It's before guys like Doug Fluty and, you know, Frank Thomas could just go golfing and talk about how hard their dicks get to each other.

Speaker 6 It's a different time. Yeah.
Yeah. You know, where you're just like, man, how fucking good is it now?

Speaker 6 I can't stop getting hard ons. All right.
Should we start golfing?

Speaker 12 I think most people don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 6 I am fully aware that, but there's like six people who are like, that's pretty good.

Speaker 6 But the rest are like, what's happening?

Speaker 12 It's definitely an indication of

Speaker 12 what sports you watch and where.

Speaker 6 Wait, what?

Speaker 12 Like, that commercial doesn't run most places.

Speaker 6 That's an ESPN commercial. ESPN, yeah, I'm their demographic.
Yeah. But they're like,

Speaker 6 looking to fuck more?

Speaker 6 Sick of your belly? Want harder dicks? You're like, I'm listening.

Speaker 12 Here's two guys playing golf from the late 80s.

Speaker 6 Like to golf with your old friends? No, but

Speaker 6 get back to the belly dick stuff. That was awesome.

Speaker 12 So John bought ownership in a saloon and a gambling hall and he bought real estate. He's rich now.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 12 The Star Newspaper.

Speaker 6 I mean, he doesn't buy that much gum.

Speaker 6 Yeah, that a little bit of screw.

Speaker 6 No, it's okay.

Speaker 12 A Star Newspaper reporter heard a sailor lost $2,000 in a roulette game and he asked the owner

Speaker 12 of the saloon about it. And the owner said, Quote, Yes, that's true, but I didn't think anybody'd find out.

Speaker 6 Here we are

Speaker 6 having a moment.

Speaker 12 So then he offered the reporter free room and board if he would write some really good stories about the hotel.

Speaker 6 This is the story of the New York Times.

Speaker 6 And the reporter. Why? Okay.

Speaker 12 The reporter was offended and he went and told this editor, and the editor never printed the story and moved into a room in the hotel.

Speaker 6 I mean, what do you want? We're humans. We're going to do this shit.

Speaker 6 This is it.

Speaker 6 Got to find a way around that. Got to get rid of that stuff.

Speaker 12 So a new mayor, Tom Humes,

Speaker 12 opened up the town. By opening it up, it means for vice and stuff.
He wants to be governor. The post-intelligence...

Speaker 6 But me and governor meant you were the mayor of two cities.

Speaker 6 Yeah, kind of. So he's like, I have higher ambitions.

Speaker 6 I'd like to be the governor of the two towns in this enormous Pala Laplace.

Speaker 12 The Post Intelligencer owner, John Wilson, was behind the scenes, was a behind-the-scenes power broker and wanted to block Hume's nomination for governor, so he got his own guy nominated, but his guy lost.

Speaker 12 And Wilson blamed Hume's and started attacking him in the Post Intelligencer for running an open, corrupt city government.

Speaker 12 So Hume was put the blame on the police chief and made him resign and then he picked a new guy, a connected guy, is Chief William Meredith.

Speaker 6 What is his, what's his angle here? Whoa, never mind. Whoa.

Speaker 12 Well, so he's just trying to take the heat off of him and blame

Speaker 6 him. But what is the

Speaker 6 what

Speaker 6 is Hume's, maybe you said this, but what does Hume's like want to turn he wants to open it up for like he wants to go back to the old ways.

Speaker 12 Well, he has. He made it more corrupt, and the city more corrupt, and everybody making money.

Speaker 6 Okay, so not right, okay.

Speaker 6 But anyway, this guy's cool. What? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, we're good here.

Speaker 6 Absolutely. By the way, he should chew a little gum on the right side for about five years.

Speaker 6 Strengthen that side up a little bit. Get that jaw a little bit more in line, you know what I mean?

Speaker 12 You know, you know, Billy, he's got one dumb side and one smart side.

Speaker 6 You know, Bill Meredith. He's got that little chin to the left.

Speaker 6 He looks like he always just finished saying, hmm.

Speaker 6 You know Bill.

Speaker 12 So Meredith had once worked for John, but they were no longer friends.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 12 So no one knew why. Now, as a cop,

Speaker 12 Meredith had arrested a pickpocket friend of John's, and John sent Meredith took protection money. from the pickpocket, but then still arrested him.

Speaker 6 Well, so that's fucking. What a moral town.

Speaker 6 I paid you off to not arrest my pickpocket buddies. So John made that a public accusation and then what kind of public that's crazy to be like this man has low character.

Speaker 6 I bribed him to let illegalities continue and he made that illegal.

Speaker 6 You fucked me Meredith.

Speaker 12 So Meredith was then put on a desk job and he blamed John for that.

Speaker 6 Well, yeah, he did it.

Speaker 6 Publicly. Yeah.

Speaker 12 And so now he's police chief.

Speaker 6 Uh-oh.

Speaker 12 And he used the laws that had not been enforced to keep it an open town

Speaker 12 and he went after John.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 12 So like women working in box houses that served alcohol, he used that against John. So cops were enforcing the law only at John's theater.

Speaker 6 Well, that's going to be bad for business.

Speaker 6 This is trapdoor right there.

Speaker 12 And Wilson, the editor of the Post Intelligencer, wanted even more done and his paper kept writing stories about the vice problem that was going to destroy Seattle's amazing reputation.

Speaker 6 And so a law and order league formed.

Speaker 12 The league presented a long list of crimes by Chief Meredith and Mayor Humes to the city council, and then the council held secret meetings on vice, but everything leaked anyway.

Speaker 12 And so John testified first, and he said one of Chief Meredith's men had demanded $500 for protection, which he paid, and then followed the guy he paid, and then he saw him hand it to Meredith.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 12 And on the stand, Meredith called John a liar and said he was a bad influence on women, young women especially. And he brought up Mammy Jenkins.
Mammy Jenkins?

Speaker 12 Mammy Jenkins, who is a 17-year-old contortionist.

Speaker 6 Jesus Christ. There's a lot coming at us.

Speaker 6 17-year-old contortionist. Yeah.

Speaker 12 So Meredith said she had been ruined by John and had an abortion.

Speaker 6 Just by genetics.

Speaker 12 She had an abortion. Oh.
Because John ruined her.

Speaker 6 Oh, Jesus Christ. Tried to talk over it.
Okay.

Speaker 12 That

Speaker 12 the same day that he was accused of ruining

Speaker 12 Mammy Jenkins,

Speaker 12 The chief Meredith sent a cop to order John to stop selling drinks or be arrested. And John's like, I'm going to keep doing it.
Quote, it will only be a few days before they get that shrimp anyway.

Speaker 12 So he's saying, We're going to take down Meredith. Okay.

Speaker 12 A few days later, the city council sent a report to the mayor saying Chief Meredith was unfit for duty.

Speaker 6 Quote,

Speaker 12 Money has been paid to Meredith and Detective Wappenstein

Speaker 12 and Detective Wappenstein for the privilege of being permitted to conduct bunko and sure thing games in this city undisturbed.

Speaker 12 So the mayor told, after that report came out, the mayor told Meredith to resign.

Speaker 6 Okay. What was the game you said?

Speaker 12 Bunko.

Speaker 6 Bunko.

Speaker 12 Sure.

Speaker 12 The next morning, Meredith, do you not know what Bunko is?

Speaker 6 I do not know what Bonco is.

Speaker 6 What is Bonko?

Speaker 6 I don't know.

Speaker 12 It's the dice game, right? Where you switch the... Yeah.

Speaker 6 What?

Speaker 12 It's where you swap the. It's where the cups, right? And you do the...
Oh, it's not the cups?

Speaker 6 Yeah, you, I was, yeah. She's like, it's the dice game.
Exactly. It's dice.

Speaker 6 You have to get groups of dice. Oh, okay.

Speaker 6 All the die have to be one number.

Speaker 6 You're going to Yahtzee. Okay.

Speaker 12 You know way too fucking much about Bunko.

Speaker 6 You lied about how much you knew about Bunko.

Speaker 12 I was just trying to fuck you.

Speaker 6 Ah.

Speaker 6 Uh

Speaker 6 you know Dave used to have trouble fucking me. Then he took eugenics.

Speaker 6 Hold on.

Speaker 6 Oh yeah.

Speaker 12 So Meredith resigns

Speaker 12 and then the next morning Meredith has

Speaker 12 one of his cops go to a secondhand store and buy a saw-off shotgun.

Speaker 6 Okay, second-hand store.

Speaker 12 And when the cop came back, he asked Meredith what he was going to do with it.

Speaker 6 Now you do it in the reverse order. You don't buy it and then go, what's your plan?

Speaker 6 You go, well, why?

Speaker 6 Oh, no. You don't go, now that you have it, what are you going to do? Oh, no.

Speaker 6 I'm complicit.

Speaker 12 Well, he said, quote, I'm going to get my man.

Speaker 6 That's adorable. We've all been there.

Speaker 6 Go ahead.

Speaker 12 John's lawyers now had affidavits stating this 17-year-old contortionist did not get an abortion, but ruptured herself doing a contortion.

Speaker 6 Boy, can we just admit that her, she was having a fun week? as a 17-year-old where they were like, now,

Speaker 6 how did you rupture yourself? I'd really rather not do this anymore.

Speaker 6 Legally, we have to know. Is it a contortion rupture?

Speaker 12 If you can't show us how you bended, we're gonna think you got fucked.

Speaker 6 Oh,

Speaker 6 what weird old partner is trying to say, Al, take a step out, take a fiver.

Speaker 12 That was I'm gonna stare at her more.

Speaker 6 Nope, all right. Oh, boy.

Speaker 12 Al, goddammit. Why else do white men run things?

Speaker 6 Trap door, trapdoor, trap door, trapdoor, trap door.

Speaker 12 They told Meredith he had to write an apology and

Speaker 12 put it in the paper or John would sue for libel. Meredith, quote, I've already lost my job and now this.

Speaker 12 An hour or so later, John was on the street when a friend asked if he was carrying a gun. And John said, no.

Speaker 12 And the guy said, quote, Meredith's after you. Get a gun for God's sakes.

Speaker 12 So John got his 38 revolver

Speaker 12 and he and his brother left the theater and when they did meredith was out on the streets with a shotgun wrapped in butcher paper in what in butcher paper yeah that's

Speaker 12 this is a long piece of meat

Speaker 6 i got a pound of shaved lid

Speaker 12 He also had a Colt 32 and a 38 in his pocket and a dagger in his other breast pocket.

Speaker 6 All in like butcher's like paper. I'm having a barbecue this weekend.

Speaker 6 Everybody's coming. It's going to be great.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 12 He also had four silver dollars in his breast pocket for armor.

Speaker 6 Well, if I know one thing, it's that he'll probably shoot me right there.

Speaker 6 And just to be safe, I put a little butcher paper behind it.

Speaker 12 He asked a real estate agent if he'd seen it.

Speaker 6 I'm looking to buy property. I know this

Speaker 6 seems oddly timed because of all the gun and butcher paper, but where would you buy right now? What's the market like, sir?

Speaker 12 Down by the People's Theater.

Speaker 6 Interesting. Wow.

Speaker 12 He asked a real estate agent if he'd seen the Considine boys and said, quote, this town isn't big enough to hold us both.

Speaker 6 I can't believe it. That actually got said.

Speaker 6 Well, yeah, we're building a bunch more towns soon. This whole state is, we're going to make more cities.
So far, it's just two. So if you wait a minute, there'll be more.
You can have your own town.

Speaker 6 I don't know if you're going to believe you. Probably within a year, there'll be a lot of towns.
What the fuck you're going to call it, Topeka?

Speaker 6 Sure. What's that about? What is that?

Speaker 12 I don't know. It's the only other city I could think of.

Speaker 6 But it's not anywhere.

Speaker 12 No, there's a Topeka.

Speaker 6 Right now?

Speaker 12 I think so.

Speaker 6 I don't think... Maybe there is.
Not here.

Speaker 12 Yeah, no, I know. Yeah, it's in Kansas.

Speaker 6 Okay. What are you doing?

Speaker 12 Are you trying to alter reality?

Speaker 6 I don't know what reality is anymore.

Speaker 12 People had to shout at you, it's in Kansas.

Speaker 6 Huh?

Speaker 6 Let them shout.

Speaker 6 So

Speaker 12 Meredith hangs around where John and and his brother usually caught a streetcar. And he hangs around there for an hour.

Speaker 6 That's so big just keeping him waiting.

Speaker 12 God, there's a lot of butcher paper.

Speaker 12 And John...

Speaker 6 Hey, Bill, what do you got in the butcher paper?

Speaker 12 It's a shot.

Speaker 12 It's meat.

Speaker 6 Whoa!

Speaker 6 I love meat. Let me look at it.
No.

Speaker 6 Okay. Have a good day.

Speaker 12 So John went and met with his lawyer, lawyer and he found out Meredith had resigned as chief.

Speaker 12 And the lawyer wanted the brothers to celebrate, but John had a sore throat and wanted to get some medicine. So they went to a drugstore.

Speaker 6 But while he's like, there's a guy who's trying to kill me, I'm going to go get some Robotuscin real quick. This is

Speaker 6 scratchy.

Speaker 12 Meredith saw them and moved quickly toward them.

Speaker 12 As the Constadines entered the drugstore, a cop was walking out of the drugstore, and above the signs read, quote, Yarissa cures piles or $50 forfeited.

Speaker 12 There's a hemorrhoid.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 6 You don't care your piles, you're in the money.

Speaker 12 Just setting the scene.

Speaker 12 And the cop reached out to shake John's hand because the cop also hated Meredith

Speaker 12 for pocketing protection money from a pimp.

Speaker 12 So,

Speaker 6 okay.

Speaker 12 So he didn't see Meredith behind them, and he, quote, pushed the shotgun over Tom's shoulder at a range of about two feet and fired at John Considine.

Speaker 12 So that's pretty close for a shotgun.

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah, right there. Yeah.
Yeah, he missed. He missed.

Speaker 6 He missed. Jesus Christ.
Oh, no.

Speaker 6 Hey, that wasn't barbecue at all.

Speaker 6 What kind of meat do you have?

Speaker 6 Bill, Bill, the butcher ripped you off. That's a gun in there.

Speaker 6 Didn't you see when he was putting it in the paper that it was not meat? No.

Speaker 6 It was a gun, you big oaf.

Speaker 6 Gosh, I swear. You almost killed that poor man with what you thought was a weekend's worth of barbecue.
Yeah.

Speaker 6 This is we're gonna be telling this story for quite a while. That much I know.

Speaker 12 So the buckshot did not scatter, but instead just passed over John's shoulder. John was dazed by the blast and staggered through the wooden screen doors into the store.

Speaker 12 And Meredith pushed past Tom and the cop, who were just standing there, completely shocked.

Speaker 12 John was wobbly. but he ran by the glass counters, and Meredith shot again, but right as the swinging door came back and hit his his elbow.

Speaker 6 You mean halfway down to his wrist?

Speaker 6 This guy's having a bad time. My God!

Speaker 6 It's like, you rip, you tried to, you're for the last time, Bill. That's not barbecue in there.
You don't have meat. That's a gun.
Be careful. You shot it again.

Speaker 6 Oh boy, this story just got a lot richer.

Speaker 12 One bullet hit John in the back of the neck and quote, flattened against the bone at the base of his skull. The rest of the shotgun blast hit the arm of a guy sitting there enjoying a sarsarilla.

Speaker 12 It's the most 1880s shooting of all time.

Speaker 6 I got hit with buckshot while having a sarsaparilla at the drugstore today.

Speaker 6 We've all been there.

Speaker 12 Meredith now dropped the shotgun and pulled his Colt 32.

Speaker 12 John yelled for Tom to help and then jumped at Meredith and he grabbed him and hugged him so he couldn't point the gun.

Speaker 6 Oh, look, they're making up.

Speaker 12 Tom ran in and grabbed Meredith's hand, twisting the gun out.

Speaker 12 And then he grabbed it and beat Meredith brutally on the head with the gun.

Speaker 6 His jaw straight.

Speaker 12 He fractured his skull in two places.

Speaker 6 Oh, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 12 Two cops rushed in and one grabbed the gun from Tom and Tom yelled, quote, give it to me. He's got another.

Speaker 12 Meredith was now leaning against a counter and Tom yanked the gun away from the cop and John yelled, quote, give it to him, Tom.

Speaker 12 People were now crowding into the store. Of course, people are running in.

Speaker 6 They're shooting. Hurry.

Speaker 6 I need my pile pills.

Speaker 6 Oh.

Speaker 12 Tom spun around and pointed it at the people coming in. Quote, stand back, you sons of bitches.

Speaker 6 All right, Tom. Let's all cool out.

Speaker 6 We're all heated.

Speaker 12 Someone grabbed Tom from behind and Meredith got on his feet. And John wrestled himself loose.
from the guy holding him and pulled his 38 and shot at Meredith.

Speaker 12 It hit his torso and went through his liver. The second shot went right into his heart.

Speaker 6 No, no, no, that's where the money is. Yes.

Speaker 12 Well, maybe in the other pocket. Oh.

Speaker 6 He put it in the non-heart pocket?

Speaker 6 Trust me. I know where he's at.

Speaker 6 He'll think it's like a mirror thing, so he'll think it's on the other. You gotta be two steps ahead.

Speaker 6 Why don't you put two coins in each pocket?

Speaker 6 No.

Speaker 6 You sound crazy. Why don't you go get more money and load all the pockets? Stop.

Speaker 6 Enough.

Speaker 12 So when the shot went into his heart, Meredith said, quote, oh.

Speaker 6 That's when a French lady was like, skin him. I'll say I did it.

Speaker 6 Oh! The great last words. Oh!

Speaker 6 Ow!

Speaker 12 John was so close that the shot set Meredith's coat on fire.

Speaker 6 Oh my god.

Speaker 6 Well, I don't, I mean, that's awesome.

Speaker 6 Look,

Speaker 6 you know, look, it's not, I'm not saying I support the action, but if you shoot a guy in the heart and then he catches on fire, you start to believe you're a god.

Speaker 11 Period.

Speaker 6 100%.

Speaker 6 If you shoot someone and they catch you, you're like, well, what the fuck am I?

Speaker 6 Ah!

Speaker 6 And you won't let me have a box house with booze and women?

Speaker 12 So he shoots one more time and that one went into his collarbone and then Meredith fell dead and the sheriff arrested John who just nodded.

Speaker 12 Five months later, John went on trial. Now, Meredith was hated when he was alive, but now that he was dead, he was a martyr.

Speaker 6 America's princess. Always happens.

Speaker 12 The trial became about an open city versus a closed city. Cop versus boxhouse operator, and John claims self-defense.

Speaker 12 But the prosecution went with the argument of limp hands.

Speaker 6 Huh?

Speaker 6 The prosecution went with the argument of limp hands?

Speaker 12 That's right.

Speaker 6 What do you mean?

Speaker 12 Meredith was alive.

Speaker 12 But helpless and on the ground after Tom cracked him on the head with a revolver.

Speaker 6 But wait, Meredith tried to kill him.

Speaker 12 Well, Tom, remember Tom beat him? Yeah, but then Tom beat him on the head, and then he was basically incapacitated, and then Meredith shot him.

Speaker 6 Yeah. He tried to kill him.
I mean,

Speaker 6 then he caught on fire. God decided this was okay.

Speaker 6 What are you talking about?

Speaker 6 Your Honor, I'd like to point out that when we shot Meredith, he shot Meredith, he caught on fire.

Speaker 12 We're good here. Well, if he caught on fire.

Speaker 6 Obviously, if he caught on fire, that sounds awesome. That's God.
It's like, well, that's God. This is like watching an ACDC show.

Speaker 12 I haven't seen such an obvious, justified killing since an actress killed that.

Speaker 6 You're allowed to kill other people, yeah.

Speaker 6 So,

Speaker 12 oh, but so while they're saying that, uh, Meredith had been going around town saying he was armed and telling he was going to kill John. So, yeah, he was like,

Speaker 12 So the child took 15 days, and John was found not guilty.

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 12 And afterwards he wept and the Times said it was open season on law officials.

Speaker 6 What the fucking paper said that?

Speaker 12 Yeah, well in like a bad way. Right.

Speaker 6 Oh yeah.

Speaker 12 They're not saying like, hey.

Speaker 6 I thought it was like, oh, you could kill the police now.

Speaker 6 Honey,

Speaker 6 pay attention to the punctuation. Honey, the punctuation.
Do, do, do, do, do.

Speaker 6 Well, just shot the sheriff. What's for supper?

Speaker 12 so moving pictures became a thing and venues now show very short movies with a live show and john thought everyone showing the same uh with everyone showing the same movies the way to get on top would be to offer a live show of the best live show along with the movie so he wait what do you mean people are starting to show movies uh-huh but it's all the same movie right they don't have different movies so he's offers a live show and the movie yeah and the best live show right right right so he bought half an interest in Edison's unique theater in 1902, and his plan was very successful, and it took off.

Speaker 12 But it was hard to get the best acts to come to the East Coast and entice them. So to entice them,

Speaker 12 he set up a

Speaker 12 Northwest theater circuit.

Speaker 12 And this was the first legit, decently priced vaudeville chain.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 12 So he cuts off all connections to the people's theater to become legit.

Speaker 12 And he gave to charities and he got elected as president of a fishing and hunting club. So he's becoming like a top fucking dude around the town.
Right.

Speaker 12 Some years before, a musicians union had gone on strike against three main city theaters. And so the owners and managers met on a dock to talk about the strike.

Speaker 12 They chose a dock so union spies couldn't see. Sure, no.

Speaker 6 Doc chats are always on the up and up. Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 12 They ended up losing the strike, but the owners and managers then formed a club

Speaker 12 called the Independent Order of Good Things.

Speaker 6 So is this right around when people naming nefarious things nice things started?

Speaker 6 Well... The magic club for everyone's happiness.
Waiting to crush unions.

Speaker 12 Their motto was skin them.

Speaker 6 Okey-dokey.

Speaker 6 Don't mind if I do.

Speaker 12 But a month later, they thought the name seemed kind of dumb, so they changed it to the Eagles

Speaker 6 I Knew I hated that band

Speaker 12 Because there was a picture of an eagle on the stage curtain in the room where they were meeting so that's why they call it the eagles smart

Speaker 6 story checks out they were foes

Speaker 12 So membership grew and they called their meeting houses lodges and they expanded to other cities and after a few years they were in over 100 cities and the third owner split off and formed his own group called the Moose.

Speaker 6 Oh my god.

Speaker 12 And in 1906 John was a delegate for the Fraternal Order of Eagles Convention in New York where he connected with Tammany boss Big Tim Sullivan

Speaker 12 or Big Tim or Big Feller.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 12 And they formed a partnership and ran the Sullivan Considine vaudeville circuit. And John bought theaters in Portland and Butte in San Francisco and Tacoma and more.

Speaker 12 And he supplied acts to yeah, don't ever just fucking lost your mind over hearing Butte.

Speaker 12 I wouldn't.

Speaker 12 We drove by that today and Luke just went, but and that's all that was said. That's all that was said in the van.

Speaker 6 But

Speaker 12 so he supplied, also supplied acts to other theaters around the country. And while he was building his empire, another man was coming up in the business, Alexander Pantages.

Speaker 6 Oh my lord.

Speaker 12 Now he came from the world of saloons and pimps and gamblers and decided to take over a theater in Nome, Alaska and got some entertainers to back him, one of who is Klondike Kate, who you love.

Speaker 12 I love Klondike Kate. She's Alaska's most famous dancing girl, but she never got her money back from Pantages.

Speaker 12 So for all of his life, men over all over Alaska hated him.

Speaker 6 I like that he picked Alaska. He was like, trust me, I know where we're going.
The big city, Nome.

Speaker 6 People will be coming all over that place once we build that bridge.

Speaker 12 So he charged 10 cents and other theaters charged 25. He was just all about turnover.
The shows were shorter. He opens a theater in Seattle in 1907.

Speaker 12 And now Pantages and John start trying to destroy each other.

Speaker 6 Jesus Christ. Is this a two-parter?

Speaker 12 John had money connections, but Pantagius is a genius.

Speaker 12 He spoke six languages, and he hung out amongst the lower classes so he knew what people wanted and didn't care about famous names, just good shows.

Speaker 12 So, whenever John announced a new star was coming, Pantagius would find someone better and put him on just before John's star arrived.

Speaker 12 And performers knew the situation, so they would make tentative agreements with both, and then they come into town and see what offer more money.

Speaker 12 Sometimes actors would sign up, John, would sign up to John, but then their equipment wouldn't end up at the Pantages, and Pantages wouldn't let the equipment leave, so they'd have to go to his theater.

Speaker 6 I don't think you're allowed to do that.

Speaker 12 In 1909, a xylophone trio came to town.

Speaker 12 I mean, I don't even know.

Speaker 12 That's the craziest thing in the story.

Speaker 6 We are the Blue Man group.

Speaker 6 A xylophone trio.

Speaker 6 Well,

Speaker 6 we had to kick one guy out.

Speaker 12 John offered them twice the money of Pantages, and they told Pantages they were going to John's. So, Pantages called his stage manager and told him to burn the xylophones.

Speaker 12 And one of the players cried,

Speaker 6 My life, my soul.

Speaker 6 I gotta tell you,

Speaker 6 Pantages coming in at the end for MVP contention in the story.

Speaker 6 Big bang at the end.

Speaker 6 Lighting xylophones on fire.

Speaker 6 I swear to God, it would be horrible. But if that guy saw a guy do that over a xylophone, I'd be like, what the fuck?

Speaker 6 My life! My soul! Dude, it's like eight pieces of wood. Shut the fuck up.
No, it's so much my bad. It's got a whole thing inside.
All right.

Speaker 6 Fucking nerd.

Speaker 6 Get a drum, you loser.

Speaker 12 So the xylophone trio ended up playing in the Pantages.

Speaker 6 Wait until one of the guys just is, and then Todd, why don't you sit at the end and just cry?

Speaker 6 My life, my soul.

Speaker 12 By 1911, John John could offer acts 70 straight weeks of work and Pantages 60, but Pantages booked better acts and they battled it out for years.

Speaker 12 Big Feller, John's New York partner, was declared insane due to syphilis and put in an institution.

Speaker 6 And then

Speaker 12 he liked to fuck.

Speaker 12 The New York Sun.

Speaker 12 The New York Sun said he suffered from.

Speaker 6 You know what he could use?

Speaker 12 Eugenics.

Speaker 6 It cures syphilis, too.

Speaker 6 Nope.

Speaker 6 Hey, wait. It's me.

Speaker 6 Trapdoor. Ah!

Speaker 12 The New York Sun said he suffered from, quote, religious mania.

Speaker 6 So that'll happen. Religious.

Speaker 12 So does the Pope. Like, what are you talking about?

Speaker 12 So he couldn't help with the business now, and the theaters John had were all mortgaged to build the next one.

Speaker 12 And he went out on the road, traveling hundreds of thousands of miles a year to keep it afloat, but finally he couldn't take it anymore. And he sold to Marcus Lowe in 1914.

Speaker 6 What the fuck?

Speaker 12 4.5 million split

Speaker 12 to split, but paid over years. So he was going to slowly pay it off over time.

Speaker 12 But Lowe could call off the contract.

Speaker 12 And when World War I came, he did. And John had the chain again, but Lowe's and Lowe's down payment, but he couldn't get vaudeville going again.
His biggest theater was foreclosed on.

Speaker 12 And then the entire chain fell apart. Pantages, still killing it, though.
In 1929, just before the crash, he sold it to Radio Keith. Orpheum for 24 million.

Speaker 6 Ah, and then that guy was like, we're about to have a big year.

Speaker 6 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 12 But through it all, John and Pantages were friends.

Speaker 6 Huh.

Speaker 12 In 1943, John,

Speaker 12 sorry, and John

Speaker 12 Pantages' daughter married John's son.

Speaker 6 Oh, wow.

Speaker 12 In Los Angeles, where both families lived. And John moved into motion picture producing.
And he died February 11th, 1943. Holy shit.

Speaker 12 Jesus Christ, what a run.

Speaker 12 And Pentegis never died.

Speaker 6 I like that a lot.

Speaker 6 That was wild. Isn't that a crazy story? That's crazy.

Speaker 6 I can't. It feels like we

Speaker 6 can't believe that it was. It feels like we just covered 200 years.

Speaker 12 Yeah, I mean, yeah.

Speaker 6 Yeah, see you later. All right, later, guys.

Speaker 12 See you into the show.

Speaker 12 Source, Murray Morgan Skid Road, an informal portrait of Seattle.

Speaker 6 Facebook in.

Speaker 12 You got a little something in there, right?

Speaker 12 It's not.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I think that now you can be known for more than just your trout.

Speaker 6 Right, sir?

Speaker 6 No. Huh, all right.

Speaker 6 Talk to this man. Trust the top of this word.

Speaker 12 The fuck's wrong with you?

Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 12 Chat's a cheap weak fish.

Speaker 6 Well, thank you guys for coming out. We appreciate it.
Thank you. Sorry about our technical difficulties.
Blame Luke. Hashtag Blame Lou.

Speaker 1 Hey guys, it's Kamal Nanjiani.

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Speaker 6 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Are there any other immigrants here?

Speaker 6 Okay, what you can't do is point at someone else.

Speaker 2 Night Thoughts is now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

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