691 - Jimmy Swaggart - part one

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Speaker 14 Who's Preston? The editor.

Speaker 14 That's not true. We're on a thread with him.
I don't think that's true. He sends a lot of gifts.
Proof!

Speaker 14 You know who he is. No, I don't.
You like him? I don't even know who he is. He's one of the few people you like.

Speaker 14 If I liked him,

Speaker 14 wouldn't I know who he is?

Speaker 14 At this point, I don't even know.

Speaker 14 I don't even know what to say anymore. You're listening to the dollop on

Speaker 14 All Things Comedy Network. This is an American History podcast where each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to my failure.
Gareth Reynolds.

Speaker 14 Ow, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about?

Speaker 14 Should I move my camera over a little bit more? What you're.

Speaker 14 My solo. Yeah, well, turn your chair a little bit.
You can just turn into it, maybe. No, yeah, you're right.
No, there you are.

Speaker 14 But I like looking at you. Should I just

Speaker 14 looking at me, then yeah, maybe change it.

Speaker 15 I'm going to change it. Van.

Speaker 14 So this week,

Speaker 14 somehow I switched the files

Speaker 14 on the baseball fight episode to a pastimes one, and that's been fixed. So if you downloaded the last episode, the baseball fight, and it was a pastimes episode, that has been rectified.

Speaker 14 Don't know what I did. I shouldn't do it late at night when I'm tired.
And drunk. You know,

Speaker 14 by 11 p.m.,

Speaker 14 I'm six bottles.

Speaker 14 Last time. Six bottles of gin.
Last time you got drunk.

Speaker 14 Drunk? Like, drunk? Drunk?

Speaker 14 Oh, boy, that's a tough one. Tour?

Speaker 14 Yeah, probably last time I was on tour somewhere with you.

Speaker 14 I don't really get drunk. Drink? Yeah, like I, you know, on 4th of July to celebrate our great nation, I had like three beers.

Speaker 14 I really, when I was like at home that night, not

Speaker 14 watching fireworks, we both talked about how stupid we now think fireworks are. Yeah.

Speaker 14 For so many, like they've been dumb. There's certain things that all of a sudden you're like, wait, what?

Speaker 14 Well, because when I was growing up, every town didn't do them, and now every town does them. I also think it used, like,

Speaker 14 there was like,

Speaker 14 you know, it was like you had access to them less in general. They weren't like, they go off after in Universal's City Walk, they go off four or five times a day.

Speaker 14 Like you used to be, it used to be a rare. Should we be doing this on the chollop? Yeah, probably.
Go to our Patreon, patreon.com, the dollop.

Speaker 14 Go see us on tour.

Speaker 14 Yeah, go see us on tour. You can go to the dolloppodcast.com.
And look at the tour dates. We're doing a bunch of Midwest dates in October.
Are you okay? Which runs before this anyway, all the dates.

Speaker 14 Oh, right. Well, go see us.
Go to the dolloppodcast.com. I think that's it.
No other news.

Speaker 14 Join our Patreon.

Speaker 14 Yeah, I don't know. I think that's it.
We're the bad boys. We've been the bad boys for a while.
We love it when people throw dolls on stage. You're the doll heads.
We love that.

Speaker 14 I think that's everything. People got mad because I told people to wear masks.
At what? They were like, well, some places you can't do that. Okay.
Well, nowhere you can't do that.

Speaker 14 Also, when I'm talking about you're in your car

Speaker 14 and

Speaker 14 an ICE is filming you, that's not actually a protest. You're in your car.
So you can't put on a mask in your car. My video was about being in your car and ICE filming your face.

Speaker 14 So you're not in a protest if you're in your car. I like this relationship.

Speaker 14 The commenters on the other side. You just read all these people and it's like, man, you're hitting fascism just become ungovernable.
That's it.

Speaker 14 Fuck your laws. It's all off.
Can I wear a clown outfit? Yeah, we were hoping you would. I think it's time.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 The pedals are hard with the the shoes may i wear flip-flops yeah and i could just do clown the rest i would paint the flip-flops red

Speaker 14 well the flip-flops are you saying paint my exposed feet red too no you can no that's may i may i paint my exposed feet yeah okay thank you thank you very much Okay, all right, now I'm ready to start.

Speaker 14 So this is an episode that we did during the online times, and since this fella just died, we're redoing it. By the way, if you like redo episodes, patreon.com, We do redo's.
Yeah,

Speaker 14 this was just for online people. It was never released publicly.

Speaker 14 March 15th, 1935, year of our Lord J-Town.

Speaker 14 Jimmy Lee Swaggart was born in Faraday, Louisiana.

Speaker 14 Seven months later, his cousin Jerry Lee Lewis was born in the same town. Oh, God.
No, right. This isn't about Jerry Lee Lewis, obviously.
No. He just makes an appearance.

Speaker 14 Now, at that point, was he trying to date his baby cousin? Well, he was just born. I know.
So, you think right away he was trying to date. Well, his baby cousin wouldn't have been born yet.

Speaker 14 So, his baby cousin wouldn't have been born yet. He was just born.
He's a baby. I don't.

Speaker 14 He goes younger. A layer of tissue is not going to stop my Jerry Lee.
He goes younger. So he,

Speaker 14 by your theory, he would be trying to date a sperm and an egg. Now you got me.
You didn't have me before, but now you got me.

Speaker 14 Jimmy Swaggart's mother was Minnie Bell.

Speaker 14 Yeah. Who was wrong? That's a terrible name.
Oh, it's a great name.

Speaker 14 They had another cousin, Mickey Gilly. Now that's a bad name.
The Lewis Swaggart-Gilly clan was very poor, and Jimmy's father was a fiddle player and a Pentecostal preacher, Willie Leon.

Speaker 14 What a job split. Well, you got to work.
Fiddle and Pentecostal. You got to make money at night.

Speaker 14 That's some... Which way? He's fiddling at night? Put down the snake, pick up the fiddle.
Yeah, there you go. You know how to do it.
I agree. Don't get them mixed up now.
No, you get them mixed up.

Speaker 14 You get him mixed up. You're looking for it.
Yeah, it's gonna be a bit bad.

Speaker 14 They lived in a part of town with

Speaker 14 bad land for growing crops. Okay, imagine.
So they're barely able to grow enough food to get by.

Speaker 14 A lot of people in the family played music. Okay.
Musical family, much like the Jacksons.

Speaker 14 I don't need you to cite other families that were. I I understand the concept, so I don't need to go.
The Osmonds.

Speaker 14 Right. The Kelly family.

Speaker 14 Almonds.

Speaker 14 Very good. They were nuts, though.
I'm sorry. That was...
Cut it.

Speaker 14 They,

Speaker 14 sorry, I said that. Very religious.
Very, very religious family. When

Speaker 14 Jerry's family got him a piano, the three cousins would gather and play it together. I think there's something to be said for the ultra-rich embrace religion and the uber poor will embrace religion.

Speaker 14 Other people obviously go towards it, but it's ways of fathoming the oddity of your life. Don't you think? I always think that with athletes.

Speaker 14 When like if a guy can throw a football 70 yards, he's like, I believe in God. I mean, look what I'm doing.

Speaker 14 Well, some do, some don't. There's a lot of guys that can throw a football or hit a baseball and are like,

Speaker 14 there's a lot. A lot that do.

Speaker 14 Yeah, but there's a lot that I really think there are a lot that don't also.

Speaker 14 Baseball, at least. They should have their own huddle before the game.
But you can't. We don't believe in anything.
You can't really separate sports from

Speaker 14 religion because, you know, the middle,

Speaker 14 sports are so popular in religious places. Texas.
Yes. Et cetera.
Yes. What about that one season where John Kittna turned the whole Detroit Lions team Christian?

Speaker 14 And then GM was like, hey, hey, hey, hey, come on.

Speaker 14 What are you talking about?

Speaker 14 I love when there's a coach that

Speaker 14 basically makes the whole team be religious. Yeah, right.
It happens in college a lot. You're like, by the way, we're all praying now.

Speaker 14 Okay, back to this nonsense.

Speaker 14 At eight, Jimmy had a revelation from God. Okay.
A lot of us do that at eight or nine. It's a pretty common childhood moment.
He's in line in a movie theater, and God told him not to go in.

Speaker 14 I thought he was going to be like, don't go see

Speaker 14 sinners. Don't go see sinners.

Speaker 14 Go see singing in the rain. Quote, the Lord spoke to me.
I know that sounds funny. It was not an audible voice or anything of that nature, but I sensed it and felt it in my heart.

Speaker 14 The Lord said, Don't go in there, but give me your heart. I want to save your soul and set you apart as a chosen vessel used in my service.
It's just a guy behind him.

Speaker 14 You're up. I always say this when I'm in line.
I just said, sorry.

Speaker 14 Jimmy ignored it and he stayed in line. Interesting.
And then he was killed by lightning. No.
That's it. That's the end of the story.

Speaker 14 When he put his quarter in the ticket machine, it jammed.

Speaker 14 What is that? What is that? It's the Lord.

Speaker 14 It's certainly following the needle. Quote, then I heard the Lord again.
I finally got my quarter and left.

Speaker 14 He gave him the quarter back. Well, he must have, or he got it back from an employee.

Speaker 14 So they had a ticket machine that you put a quarter into? Yeah, these are different times. Who knows?

Speaker 14 What happened to the person you buy the ticket? Well, this is before that whole system. This is when it was a quarter.
It was like easy. We're going back to that version.
Yeah, we are.

Speaker 14 That's AI. Put your money in.
Yeah, right. Just put your money in and eliminate the human.

Speaker 14 So that's a bullshit story that he tells.

Speaker 14 As they got older, Mickey and Jerry turned to music. Jerry was expelled from his church for playing a rock version of My God Is Real.

Speaker 14 That I get.

Speaker 14 That you get. That's interesting.
Stay straight up. Keep your fucking rock out of my church.
Yeah, okay. Little creep.
What do you get? See, here's the thing about you rock guys.

Speaker 14 You start out rocking and rolling. It's sex music.
And next thing you know, you're banging your

Speaker 14 cuss. Stop talking.
Your underage cousin.

Speaker 14 excuse me that's very well let's see if my idea of bringing rock into a church plays out i think you've i think you've cheated the system because i think you've just i think you've put out your evidence knowing the verdict all of the people who told him to get his rock music out of their church when he started banging his cousin were all like i told you but he got it out of the church so wouldn't that be a case for why he shouldn't he have not done that he shouldn't be doing the rock music play the rock of the church i bet he done cousin fuck how about that

Speaker 14 catch me outside absolutely grotesque catch me outside

Speaker 14 so jimmy was more into preaching and at 17 he dropped out of high school and married frances anderson for anderson for anderson she is 15.

Speaker 14 look

Speaker 14 how old is he

Speaker 14 i mean

Speaker 14 he's 17 so it's two years it's not that bad that's that's pretty look we're not again we're not gonna i'll tell you a position that ages poorly yeah you know pro uh teenage marriage fucking but uh yeah, but as far as the egregious things we've heard on this show.

Speaker 14 But look,

Speaker 14 17 and 15

Speaker 14 is a pretty common thing.

Speaker 14 Particularly

Speaker 14 in high school now, it's a common thing. Although they don't do that now, they do one year off, at least in my kids' school.
Oh. But, which is crazy to me.
But

Speaker 14 you can't go senior freshmen. That one did creep me out.
Yeah, that creeps me out.

Speaker 14 Well, now that I've, now that my kids in high school, I'm like, oh, yeah, no, freshmen shouldn't be in high school. They should be in middle school because a lot of them them are still tiny.

Speaker 14 Yeah, I was.

Speaker 14 But

Speaker 14 15 and 17,

Speaker 14 girls are more mature. Yeah.
So a 17-year-old dude is almost like a 15-year-old girl. Like brainwashed.
Right, yeah, right.

Speaker 14 So

Speaker 14 anyway, that's not that bad. We've seen a lot worse.
Way worse. And we're going to see a lot worse in this story.
All right. Rock and roll.
Yeah. Jimmy later described her as, quote, not pregnant.

Speaker 14 It's nice to be sweet and say cool, nice things.

Speaker 14 she's great you love her she's not pregnant

Speaker 14 you'd love her she's got so much good stuff well what is she like oh my god

Speaker 14 she has

Speaker 14 long brown hair

Speaker 14 she's not pregnant

Speaker 14 she's not pregnant yeah no it's not from a lack of nothing

Speaker 14 well i wish i hadn't said that she has curly hair And it's kind of wavy. Uh-huh.
I've gone in the butt.

Speaker 14 She is not pregnant. Jimmy, I feel like we should see.
Nobody's had less of a fetus in her than

Speaker 14 her.

Speaker 14 Nobody's had less of a fetus in them than her. I gotta be honest, as your preacher, I did not expect.
And the Lord said such revelations when I asked you to... Finish the job outside.
Simple question.

Speaker 14 I spilleth my seed on the tummy pool. I am both uncomfortable and excited.

Speaker 14 Can you paint?

Speaker 14 I would like a picture. Nah, I think I did.
She's got brown hair.

Speaker 14 She's not at all pregnant. Yeah.

Speaker 14 That does sound like

Speaker 14 a Trump non-sequitur.

Speaker 14 So in 1955, he gave his first sermon in front of a grocery store.

Speaker 14 Absolutely. It's just like the people are just outside yelling about God.

Speaker 14 Yeah, you have to wonder if God would be like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. No.
Yeah. Not what I was.
I actually don't want you bothering everybody. That's annoying.
That sounds fucking crazy.

Speaker 14 Yeah, we're not. We're not as.

Speaker 14 So what? You just got a huge plank of plywood and just painted it green and then wrote on it and then laminated it. Yeah.
And now you're just carrying it eight feet above your head. Yeah.

Speaker 14 It's an eyesore. Yeah, but people get it.
I don't think they do. You're not helping the cause.
I think people get it. Do me a favor.
You do me a favor. Excuse me.
Yeah. No.

Speaker 14 Sorry. You are not doing that.
Sorry. Start fundraising a little bit.
That's a good way to do it. Oh.
I don't like you just co-opting a block. God needs money.
No, no, no, no. Don't put it like that.

Speaker 14 God needs money. No, to help the infirmed.
For the abortion. Excuse me.
I knocked her up. Excuse me.

Speaker 14 So, yeah. So in front of a grocery store, he played an accordion to draw crowds in, which always works.
Always works.

Speaker 14 Always works.

Speaker 14 Yeah, that's how you do it. You've heard that before? Yeah.
So, but that's accordion to who?

Speaker 14 They had a son, Donnie, in 1954.

Speaker 14 Jerry Lee became famous in 1957 with his first

Speaker 14 big rock hit, Whole Lot of Shaking Going On. Big one.
That means fucking. Yeah, it does.
Because rock back then was all about, you know. Yeah, insinuative fucking.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 So Jimmy was singing the gospel at this point, and Jerry Lee falls into drugs and alcohol, and Jimmy spoke out against

Speaker 14 Jerry Lee's wayward life. Okay.
You know, his cousin. He's really gosh.
He's off the path. Yeah, he's way off the fucking path.
Quote, Jerry Lee can go to Sun Records in Memphis.

Speaker 14 I'm on my way to heaven with a God who supplies all my need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

Speaker 14 Well, I mean, you got to pick. What do you want? You know, do you want the party now or later? No.

Speaker 14 Yes, that's how I feel. Now's the party.
Absolutely. Especially with the repent loophole.
Yeah, seriously. You can just wait till the last minute and then flip that switch.

Speaker 14 And just be like, hey, my bad.

Speaker 14 Why would you?

Speaker 14 That's sort of a loophole that they leave open by allowing people to convert at the end. Yeah.
Because

Speaker 14 it does set up a more bright, sinful world because there are some that believe you have to live a whole

Speaker 14 holy life, right? Yeah.

Speaker 14 There are some. You might have to go to purgatory.
You go to purgatory. Yeah, I wouldn't mind it.
I mean, especially if I know, like, after I'm taking the elevator, but I'm going to give somebody.

Speaker 14 I don't want to go to the place where the religious people are. You'd, buddy,

Speaker 14 whatever. You're going to get, then you get your own section.
It's like smoking or non. I don't think that is.
It's very much a smoking or none.

Speaker 14 It's very much a smoking or none. Okay.

Speaker 14 And you're sure? I'm pretty sure.

Speaker 14 I'm pretty sure it's a smoking or non.

Speaker 14 So, by the 60s, Jimmy is preaching all over the southeast, recording gospel albums, and gets a radio show. Okay.
So, he is fucking killing it. He's also on the radio.

Speaker 14 Yeah, him and his cousin are killing it. And he's doing it the pious way.
So, at a show in Ohio, Jerry is so high on drugs that he can't play. So, Jerry is very off

Speaker 14 all of it. It's not like he's just doing rock.
He's shaking, he's killing. Yeah.

Speaker 14 I mean, that's, that's one way people respond to oppressive religion. You know, go the other way with it.
Here we go. That's how I do it.
Straight to anal.

Speaker 14 So Jimmy carried him off stage, quote, Jerry Lee is my cousin and I love him. And I think that you know I love him and I've come to take him home.

Speaker 14 I assume he thought he was going to save him at this point, right? Yeah, right. Like he was going to find Jesus and off they go.
Yeah, he's just going to wake up like dehydrated.

Speaker 14 I wish there were pictures of him carrying him. I want to see him carry a grown man.

Speaker 14 I like that. I like that for you.
He did it like

Speaker 14 uh

Speaker 14 over the back, or you think like a bride crossing the uh i love a drag dragging him. I love an arm first drag, okay, or a foot-first drag.
Yeah, foot-first drag. But you got to think of the head.

Speaker 14 So I like an arm first. What about a head drag?

Speaker 14 Drag? That's wrestling. That's that's different.
That's a that's uh

Speaker 14 different energy.

Speaker 14 So

Speaker 14 Jerry Lee continued his life, and then things completely fell apart for Jerry Lee when he married his 13-year-old cousin. He's 22.
Now we can be outraged. That's not as bad as a 17-15.
22 to 13. Well,

Speaker 14 she's a child. That's a child.
She's a child. That's a man and a child.
Yes. And a cousin.
That's right. You know it's bad when you're not even paying attention to the cousin part.

Speaker 14 But you know her so well. It's horrible.
Because you've been around her a lot. Not cool.
As a child, and now she's barely on the cusp of adulthood. I'll tell you.

Speaker 14 And you are ready because you're 22 and on drugs. I remember when my ex, I was at her family's place for her.

Speaker 14 I was at her family's place for the weekend, and they put on her birth video to watch it with joy. Nope.
And I'll tell you, it threw me for a goddamn loop for a little while. Nope.

Speaker 14 You don't, you don't.

Speaker 14 I was a baby dater. Did we see the baby come out of the no, but we saw everything but we saw like right after.
How old was she?

Speaker 14 At the time? at the time yeah oh i don't know we were i don't know 29

Speaker 14 but i was like it was just like through i was like i'm dating that baby yeah no

Speaker 14 yeah it's weird yeah i was sitting there later like i gotta go i got some real stuff to think about i'm a piece of

Speaker 14 dating a baby you are a piece of david uh so his career basically it's over is it really over it's over yeah which is surprising at that time honestly because he did great balls of fire a whole lot of of shaking going on.

Speaker 14 You know, and then, you know, he was a big, big rock, one of the biggest rock stars. Yeah, he was a big piano guy.

Speaker 14 You would think that people would be like, yeah, 22, 13, but I guess not. What do you mean? Like, yeah, pro? Yeah.
People would be fine with it. At that time, what year would be 50s? 60s.
60s, yeah.

Speaker 14 So

Speaker 14 Jimmy's congregation is growing. He's becoming more famous.

Speaker 14 He put out albums, which you probably still have. I have a bunch of them.
He now had a small church in Baton Rouge. He called the Family Worship Center.
I remember it. But he wants more.

Speaker 14 Of course, he does. He bought a small AM radio station.
And in 1971, he began broadcasting on small TV stations in Baton Rouge. Yeah.
So TV. TV.
Let's go. Big.
Big. Baton Rouge.

Speaker 14 Televangelism was on the rise, and Jimmy leaned into TV. And in 1973, he went into business with producers who syndicated his show across the United States.

Speaker 14 And by the 80s, he was on over 3,000 stations.

Speaker 14 It's so weird because I did grow up, like I grew up obviously in this time of like watching it and always just being like, what the fuck is going on?

Speaker 14 Yeah, it was alien to us.

Speaker 14 But even as someone who was not religious, I was like, this is crazy. Yeah, I, I, yeah.
To me, it's always like. Like having it on TV was crazy.

Speaker 14 Yeah, to me, it's always, it's always like, there's religion, okay, fine. But then

Speaker 14 watching a guy on TV and giving him money to me is fucking crazy. Like, now I'm just like, you're out of your fucking trade.
Like, but watching, like,

Speaker 14 like going, like, I would be like, oh, okay. I, like, I don't get going to it, but I'd be like, I understand you like it.
It does not translate to, it'd be like watching Hacky Sack live. Like,

Speaker 14 that's like, there's a story

Speaker 14 for the Hacky Sack shows.

Speaker 14 So

Speaker 14 he's making a lot of money. He's famous.

Speaker 14 He now had high-level donors. Zoe McDonald Vance was a very wealthy, three-times widowed woman.

Speaker 14 And she had a multi-million dollar California beach home. She wasn't really religious, but she started watching Jimmy in 1978.
What was he doing? You get sucked in.

Speaker 14 You get sucked in. Oh, this is good.
Wow, this guy's amazing. This is why cable needed to happen.
Yeah. Yeah.
Just because, wow.

Speaker 14 i yeah and then he started uh doing uh and then she started going to his crusades so she gets drawn in she's like all right i'm gonna go see this guy live it's like it it's like uh for you guns and roses

Speaker 14 by the way my brother went and saw uh lamb of god play ozzy's last show yesterday looked pretty amazing on video he said he said that Lamb of God kicked fucking ass.

Speaker 14 He said there were a few that just fucking analyzed it, but Lamb of God one of them. By the way, by the time this comes out,

Speaker 14 Randy

Speaker 14 is meeting my mother for tea, and he's surprising his girlfriend with the tea. Sure.
So that's happening tomorrow.

Speaker 14 But during Guns N' Roses, my brother was like, that's when I walked out for five minutes. He's like, what is happening?

Speaker 14 Well, the band is fine. Axel's at it was fucking.
Well, Axel's unfortunately

Speaker 14 the band now. So it's like...
Oh, the other guys weren't there? I don't know who else was there. No, they were there.
Axel's not the band. Well, he was for ages.

Speaker 14 No, but for like 30 years, he's like, I'm retooling. And then he'd come out every now and then and people would be like, yeah, are those worms on your hand? He made them all sign

Speaker 14 giving away the name of the band

Speaker 14 or else he'd start a riot.

Speaker 14 So they did. But then they've been touring together as a band for

Speaker 14 like eight years. I didn't know.
They have, they, they, they are separate, so they have separate entrances

Speaker 14 and they go into separate green rooms. And then so weird.
And then he

Speaker 14 in the contract. I would love that.
In the contract, he gets to play a certain amount of Chinese democracy songs.

Speaker 14 And it's hilarious because if you're at a show, as soon as he starts singing his Chinese democracy song, every phone comes out in the entire show. Oh, yeah, I bet.
And no one pays attention. I bet.

Speaker 14 But Duff, when he plays

Speaker 14 Duff, yeah.

Speaker 14 When he plays a punk song, everybody's into it. Interesting.
But they don't even know. So they all get to play a little.
Like, no one's into Axel's bullshit.

Speaker 14 uh anyway. Uh,

Speaker 14 so

Speaker 14 she starts going to his crusades, and uh, Jimmy goes to her home and he baptizes her in the ocean, like I did with you.

Speaker 14 And he's you held me down for so long,

Speaker 14 seven minutes, seven minutes, and I just always remember it. Everything I've seen, it's a quick dunk, yeah, but it can be more you get more God for the longer you're under.
I know, but I

Speaker 14 really lost two people I wanted to know. Part of my brain stopped working.
Two people I wanted to baptize. Two parts that knew history.
Before that, I was big into it. I knew a ton of history.

Speaker 14 You held me under seven minutes. I thought Ben Franklin was a president.
I really wanted to.

Speaker 14 You I wanted to baptize, but I also really, really wanted to baptize Russell Brand. That's like a 10-minute baptism for me.
Yeah, that one I actually understand. Yeah.

Speaker 14 Oh, Crocky, you've held me under for a long time, haven't you? Yeah, you're good. That's a vile.

Speaker 14 I don't even know what's happening there. It sounds.
It's just like him. You didn't nail that one.

Speaker 14 It must be nice to just sit there it is be simon cowell act it is

Speaker 14 well you say spicy meataball spicy meat bottle

Speaker 14 uh

Speaker 14 her sister sued

Speaker 14 oh sorry she died in 1981 did i leave that part out yeah and then she leaves she leaves she made a ton of money nice so her sister sues and as the the estate was supposed to all go to kidney disease research

Speaker 14 so vance's only son died of kidney disease 16. So, that's why she was like,

Speaker 14 originally supposed to. Yeah.
So, the court battle went on for two years, and then they finally settled, and Jimmy got 70%.

Speaker 14 Pretty good. I mean, those were her wishes.
Those are her wishes. Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Those are her wishes. The rest went to the Kidney Foundation.
That's nice. They got something.

Speaker 14 And so, Jimmy now

Speaker 14 got family oil land in Texas. Oh, I didn't realize it was oil land.
And he was now making $100,000 a month from oil. Oh, fuck me.
It's an American story right here. Wow.

Speaker 14 He only had to use the money

Speaker 14 for children's ministries.

Speaker 14 I think that was a stipulation. He had to use it for child ministries.
I like how that's like better to like, and I want to be very discerning. Brainwashed.
It can only be for the very young.

Speaker 14 Brainwatch the young. The very young must be indoctrinated into this.
What a crazy.

Speaker 14 I hate to be it. Sorry, Jimmy.

Speaker 14 You've got a flock, but this is for babies. Yeah, well, I really want you.
This is for the babies. Just get your crazy in a little, little kids' mindset.
Okay, let's, let's, excuse me, excuse me.

Speaker 14 I want to be careful after talking to my family and my council. This is for toddlers.
This is a toddler church.

Speaker 14 On October 26, 1984, a 19-year-old teenager who suffered from depression was drunk and shot himself in Indio, California. His parents blamed Ozzy Osborne and his song Suicide Solution.

Speaker 14 They said it had hidden messages, had suicide messages. If you're going to go that route, it doesn't sound too hidden.
You can just go the direct route.

Speaker 14 Like, I mean, the song title is if you're going to make the case. Not hidden at all.
If you think about it. I think it feels like it was pretty overt.

Speaker 14 I was just trying to say, up front, there's an impression for you. Now, suck balls.
Okay, now do Ozzy in 1984. 1984? 84.
84.

Speaker 14 No, he wasn't like that in 84. I was a lot more like this.

Speaker 14 Okay, no.

Speaker 14 You just ruined the fun.

Speaker 14 You ruined the fun. You know what I heard? You know what I heard the other day was

Speaker 14 an Irish

Speaker 14 preacher, but he had the cadence of Viat.

Speaker 14 Well, you actually heard that or that was. I heard that.
Oh, my God. So he's just like, destroyed.
The Lord is come. And he's a maker.

Speaker 14 Oh my God. It's amazing.
I was like, that'd be one I would stick my teeth into. Yeah.

Speaker 14 So the family sues Ozzy and Ozzy's like, there's no hidden messages. It's a song about alcoholism and a musician friend who drank himself to death.

Speaker 14 So the court. Has anyone ever been an Ozzy Osborne again?

Speaker 14 So the court. Dismissed the case.
Okay.

Speaker 14 And Ozzy became a regular target of Jimmy, however. Okay.

Speaker 14 So the televangelist industry was very tight-knit. Marvin Gorman was another international televangelist phenomena guy from Louisiana.
Full disclosure, I did tour with Gorman for a few years. Yeah.

Speaker 14 I kind of probably should just

Speaker 14 maybe just step out for this part of the story.

Speaker 14 I'm a Gorm again. Yeah, and your album was called Gorman Again, right? Gorman Again.
Yep. Yep.
Gorman Again and Again.

Speaker 14 A minister nearby, David Savage, asked Reverend Gorman to counsel his wife, Linda. Because, look, if you're having marital issues, the best guy to go to is another like con man to work with her.

Speaker 14 Absolutely.

Speaker 14 Uh,

Speaker 14 and so Gorman and Savage are friends, so he counsels Linda. And on December 28th, 1978, she calls and she's in a hotel and she's thinking about committing suicide.
Okay, she must have had Ozzie on.

Speaker 14 So, Gorman rushes over.

Speaker 14 The door is ajar. Just say open.

Speaker 14 Stop it. And no, it's actually a jar.
Oh. Yeah.
That's strange. And Linda is on the bed in a bathrobe.

Speaker 14 Oh, Christ. And there's a spilled bottle of pills.
And Gorman sits beside her,

Speaker 14 you know, because

Speaker 14 this is scary.

Speaker 14 And then she... She pulls off her robe

Speaker 14 and they start kissing. Oh, God.
Now, hold on. Gorman said he did not disrobe.
He did not disrobe. No, he did not.
He did not take off his clothes.

Speaker 14 But he did pull his dog out. What the fuck?

Speaker 14 Nobody needs your nipples. This is how you do it.
This is not how you do it. And then they started having sex.
She's all pilled out on the death story.

Speaker 14 He got the Johnson out. Oh, my God.
And I remain clothed. Except for the dong.
The dong did drop out for a while. For a long time.

Speaker 14 But he lost his heart on Midway because of the guilt. Oh my God.
Let me tell you, that's the only part of the story that's not real.

Speaker 14 I lost my boner after it comes. Oh, everything has to be done with that cadence.
I do like that setup. But yeah.

Speaker 14 I was a trying, and I couldn't afford this. Okay.

Speaker 14 I dug as deep as I could. My bones were rubbing my zipper because I kept my clothes on.

Speaker 14 Yeah, there's no way he didn't. He fucking blew his load and then he was like, oh, now it's not working anymore.
That is so...

Speaker 14 That, that,

Speaker 14 I mean, obviously that's rape. No, because she, she, no, she's trying to seduce him.
Oh, she is? Yeah, clearly. You're being funny.
No.

Speaker 14 She, she took, she took the, they were sitting down together and she took the robe off. Oh, but I thought you said she was surrounded by pills.

Speaker 14 Well, there were spilled pills on the table, but she, she may have been inebriated, but she also

Speaker 14 sat down next to him and took her robe off.

Speaker 14 She she was unconscious yeah okay i was picturing a different thing i don't love it either way to be honest i'm not if i walked into that situation i don't think it would end with well you need to go to church more you know you're so right this is what it you're so right it's what god wants you're so right i just i keep

Speaker 14 yeah there's this whole yeah

Speaker 14 so he loses his boner and then he begs for forgiveness and then he leaves. He's upset because he's cheating on his wife or he's taking another man's wife.
Yes, both, I think.

Speaker 14 So he asked God for forgiveness also. Okay.

Speaker 14 And quote. You're good, dude.

Speaker 14 Dude, you lost your boner halfway through. Under the blood of Jesus, his sin was forgiven.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 Hey, hey, hey, look. Quit crying, dude.
You're all good. Hey, you're all good.
Hey, hey, hey. Hey, shh,

Speaker 14 shh.

Speaker 14 You lost your boner, dude. This is, hey, listen, this is Jesus.

Speaker 14 First of all, I forgive you. And secondly,

Speaker 14 I want you to take me through it. Hey, I'll handle it.
I want you to take me through it

Speaker 14 real slow. Boy, boy.
Take me through it.

Speaker 14 Boy. I'm going to take my Jesus dick out.
Boy, boy. What? Boy, out.

Speaker 14 Go to your...

Speaker 14 Sorry. Go to your planet.

Speaker 14 The Mormons were right.

Speaker 14 The Mormons were right. Jesus, go to your planet.
That's it, boy. Go to your planet.

Speaker 14 So he doesn't need to tell anyone because Jesus forgave him. Right.
Right. So then you can keep it a secret.
He kept counseling the savages. So he continues.
Well, definitely.

Speaker 14 Look,

Speaker 14 he's already started the process. Save the marriage.
So keep him in the fold. And he keeps banging Linda.
Well, now that. Okay.
I'm like, you don't want her to be alone. You want her to

Speaker 14 be able to take in the message. You want her to be satisfied and happy and

Speaker 14 feeling good

Speaker 14 physically.

Speaker 14 Quote, during counseling sessions he indicated to her that she had a sexual dysfunction and she needed to learn how to climax and he would teach her that so there you go now that i've pulled i've pulled that one before that one i

Speaker 14 that one i've pulled uh it's worked twice but uh you have it and then the best part is you don't make them come well uh

Speaker 14 yeah i don't know you're kind of fucked i guess i don't know

Speaker 14 it's totally a you thing if i can't do it if i can't do it then nobody can i don't know what to tell you

Speaker 14 uh she also had sex with her brother-in-law and the church music minister.

Speaker 14 Linda likes to fuck. By the way.
So let her fuck. Look,

Speaker 14 if you're looking to cheat, go with the guy who plays with the organ all day.

Speaker 14 But also, just Linda, have a good time. Yeah, I agree.
She also had sex with her brother-in-law. Oh, I did that.
And the church music minister. Do it again slower.

Speaker 14 And a son nine and had a son nine months after having sex with Gorman and her husband on the same day. So she doesn't know who the father is.
But you'll find out as they grow up.

Speaker 14 Yeah, I like that patient waiting. Yeah.

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Okay. Not about this.
And I'm a little, yeah, there's a lot. Okay.

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Speaker 14 So, in 1986,

Speaker 14 in 1986, Linda is consumed with guilt

Speaker 14 Because she's been fucking everybody. Oh, right, right, right.
She fucked everyone in the church. And she makes a confession to Reverend Michael Indest.
He's on the other side.

Speaker 14 Like, are you still looking to do that? What are we doing right now?

Speaker 14 Do you mind if I take my organ out during this?

Speaker 14 Is this?

Speaker 14 I'm not going to get naked, but do you mind if I play with it? Are you hitting on me right now? No. Well, I have something to confess.
This is a two-way street. May I also confess? Yeah.

Speaker 14 I've been masturbating during your confession. Oh, my God.
So have I. Oh, my God.

Speaker 14 Because

Speaker 14 it was illegal to tape it in Louisiana,

Speaker 14 he gave the video to Jimmy. Did I mention that he

Speaker 14 taped it? No.

Speaker 14 He videoed the confession? Wouldn't you? That is an app. What is it, the real world?

Speaker 14 It was an absolute nightmare. So now Jimmy

Speaker 14 gets the video and he confronts Gorman.

Speaker 14 And

Speaker 14 Gorman was like, holy fuck, that is very damning.

Speaker 14 He confessed,

Speaker 14 denied there were others. Jimmy and David Savage accuse Gorman of having sex with another woman, Lynette Goh.

Speaker 14 They said Gorman admitted it. Now, Jimmy pretended he wanted to help Gorman, but he really wanted to end his career, which would open, yeah, because then that's the audience that he can just pick up.

Speaker 14 Jimmy spread the word of the affairs, and he says that Gorman had hundreds of affairs. Oh, wow.
So he. And Gorman left the church in July of 18 of 1986.

Speaker 14 He gets defrocked a month later. He's ruined.

Speaker 14 Jimmy took him out. Yeah, okay.

Speaker 14 Gorman would start up a new tiny church in a New Orleans

Speaker 14 in New Orleans. Finger puppets.
In a warehouse. So that's not that tiny.
It's not terrible. But it's tiny in numbers, I think.
Sure, compared to what he was doing.

Speaker 14 It's always, you can't start a new church in a warehouse because it's going to seem really empty at the start.

Speaker 14 Yeah. I mean, it's, yeah, it's kind of a bringer.
You bring it, you have a drape halfway through, yeah. A curtain that you're calling

Speaker 14 that I'll have at the Irvine Improvin's Saturday night late late show shame curtain.

Speaker 14 So now the big rival is Jim Baker. Nice.

Speaker 14 And he is, he was friends with Gorman. Okay.

Speaker 14 So Jim and Tammy Baker's PTL club is broadcast across the U.S. PTO.

Speaker 14 PTL. PTL.
Okay. What does that stand for? Parents and Teachers Are Lit.
Yeah, okay. That's what I thought.

Speaker 14 And

Speaker 14 they had a multi-million dollar empire. Their former chief of security, quote, we had a cash office, and at times there was certainly more money in it than I could imagine.

Speaker 14 People would send us mink coats, diamond rings, and deeds.

Speaker 14 When you hear this sort of shit, you really, it all, Trump makes so much sense in a way. It's just kind of the evolution of this like,

Speaker 14 I'll do anything, I'll believe in anything to make sure that I'm going to be okay. And just believing in the worst people.
Like

Speaker 14 the worst people.

Speaker 14 You got to wonder, though, like.

Speaker 14 This is going to sound like I host the PBS show, but is it, are you, is that your plan going into it? Or are you formed when you see that level of success and money?

Speaker 14 Like, I wonder if you're going in there being like, I'm going to defraud people. Or I wonder if while you're doing your thing, you're going, ooh, I shouldn't defraud people.
No, you're going into it.

Speaker 14 You're going into it. Yeah, I think they know they're going to defraud people.

Speaker 14 So

Speaker 14 that's cool.

Speaker 14 So they bought, the bakers bought. 2,300 acres in South Carolina to build a water park.
The bakery acre. The Heritage, named Heritage USA.
Okay.

Speaker 14 They're also preparing preparing to break down on a $100 million

Speaker 14 ministry center, the Crystal Palace.

Speaker 14 Fuck me.

Speaker 14 In 18. Sorry, I keep doing that.
In 1987, their security chief was with Tammy

Speaker 14 when she began hallucinating and stripped.

Speaker 14 She's stripped?

Speaker 14 Yeah. She didn't take her makeup off, though.

Speaker 14 No, that would take too long. It'd take a fire hose.

Speaker 14 So what do you think she's on?

Speaker 14 Stripping is very strange. Is that booze?

Speaker 14 Could be booze. Yeah, because I mean, out of all of it, it feels it's either booze or some horror sort of hallucinogen.
Well, what do you think? But I would think 87.

Speaker 14 So, there could be, this could be ecstasy. Could be.

Speaker 14 I've never experienced that version of ecstasy, though. I've never like it was more impure back then.
Yeah, I've had the impure one. I guess I've had it.
It's seven years old. I'm talking.

Speaker 14 No, I was doing it.

Speaker 14 I did it, Jerry Lewis.

Speaker 14 Yeah, I don't know. It's very strange.
I don't know.

Speaker 14 I would say maybe booze. Yeah, I think so.
Quote, and I couldn't believe. Also, they're fucking like, you know, they're repressed.
Some of them just want to fucking bang.

Speaker 14 And like, you know, there's a lot of it's real stifling. Yeah.

Speaker 14 Quote, and I couldn't believe I'm there by myself with this lady and she'd taken her clothes off. And Tammy didn't do that kind of stuff around me.
We all knew she had some prescription drug problems.

Speaker 14 Oh, there you go. So her drugs.
Pills and booze. Yeah, pills and booze.
Her drug problem hits the press. Okay.
Tammy, quote, I just had no idea, Jim, that you couldn't mix over-the-counter drugs.

Speaker 14 I had no idea.

Speaker 14 So she took the hot take your clothes off drug,

Speaker 14 which is,

Speaker 14 I think they took it off. Like, it's not over-the-counter anymore.
You got to buy it prescription. Yeah, right.
But yeah, that was a big drug for a while. I like that one.

Speaker 14 Shortly after, the story of Jessica Hahn broke. Oh, right.

Speaker 14 Former church secretary, she said Jim Baker, I mean, he raped her.

Speaker 14 Like if you read, if you read the story, he, he absolutely, it was, it's fucking, the story is so, like, it's textbook sex trafficking assault. Like it's grooming into

Speaker 14 just straight up, like it's textbook. How old is she when that?

Speaker 14 She's like young. She's like 22 or something.
She's pretty young.

Speaker 14 Baker says it's a consensual affair. Out of this, Han became a celebrity.
Also, let's just, let's just not forget how gross our entire society is. She posed for Playboy.

Speaker 14 She's a freaking guest on Howard Stern. She was in music videos.

Speaker 14 No, it's fucking horrifying, man.

Speaker 14 It really is now that we're

Speaker 14 approaching the kind of out in the open coming out of America ending party.

Speaker 14 You are those seeds that we've talked about for so long. It's like, yeah, well, what do you expect? I mean, we are a disgusting nothing culture who's purely motivated by spotlight and greed.

Speaker 14 Yeah, and money.

Speaker 14 But even then, when it was happening, I was just like, what the fuck? This is so weird or gross. Yeah, see,

Speaker 14 I think it took me a while to be like, wait, what? Well, I was 47. I mean.

Speaker 14 No, I remember. Jim and Tammy.
I remember you were involved in all that. I was.

Speaker 14 Jim and Tammy decided to step down and hand the PTL over to Jerry Falwell. Oh, fuck me.
What he didn't know at the time was the PTL was deep in debt and were spending over $2 million a month.

Speaker 14 Spending $2 million a month. They're probably paying tons of people.
They're probably, everyone's living lavishly.

Speaker 14 They're building shit everywhere. Like they're just, they're just like, the money will never stop.
Well, I mean, the beauty of the church is there's no tax.

Speaker 14 What if you have, if you have a room, yeah, there's no tax. And if you have a room full of fucking mink coats and cash, and like, of course you're going to.
Oh, yeah, you're the mob.

Speaker 14 Falwell and the bankers fall out over the debt.

Speaker 14 And Falwell accused Jim of being secretly gay, having several male relationships, and said Tammy gave him a long list of demands, including compensation to give Falwell full control of PTL.

Speaker 14 So Jerry gets in there. He's like, this is going to be sweet.
And then he's like, oh, my God, what a nightmare. They're not even running their Conwell.
So they did do one good thing. I guess so.

Speaker 14 Hurt Jerry Falwell. Yeah, that's all that matters.

Speaker 14 um

Speaker 14 so

Speaker 14 the government looks into the ptl finances the bankers

Speaker 14 like jeez what the fuck

Speaker 14 the government has uh the bankers have multiple homes a private jet two rolls royces a mercedes-benz an air-conditioned dog house geez i'm the only purchase that makes sense yeah now i'm actually on that one i'm on the line okay well absolutely uh so jim is indicted on eight counts of mail fraud 15 counts of wire fraud and a count of conspiracy.

Speaker 14 During the trial, the employee who collected data on PTL memberships, which were being oversold, fainted.

Speaker 14 That's one way to do it. What a great way to get out of court.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 You know what? Let's take a recess. That's really, I think that man is dead.

Speaker 14 A trial sketch artist, quote, when he fainted, a voice from the audience came up and said, oh, he's given his life to God.

Speaker 14 Jim Baker's...

Speaker 14 Shut up.

Speaker 14 Jim Baker's attorney called Jim up. Jim, Jim, as if there's going to be a miracle and he can bring him back to life.

Speaker 14 Oh, like a doctor on the plane.

Speaker 14 Jim, Jim,

Speaker 14 Jim,

Speaker 14 do you have anything you can do? Like, do you have a magic glove or something you could rub on him? Oh, God, they can't stop. Jim, they can't ever stop.
They must have planned it. They planned it.

Speaker 14 They planned the whole fucking thing.

Speaker 14 That guy pretended to faint, and then like, and then Jim will come up and save him, and the jury will be like, oh, my God, look at Jim's magic.

Speaker 14 Sorry. I didn't mean to distract from the trial.
I don't know if you anyway. You were saying I had a

Speaker 14 diamond cutlery.

Speaker 14 Go ahead. I'm sorry.
I just had to save that man's life. So, Jim doesn't make it through the trial.
He has a psychotic break. Bullshit.

Speaker 14 He hides under his lawyer's couch, saying the reporters outside were giant bugs.

Speaker 14 Well, if you're going to fake it.

Speaker 14 They're bugs. They're giant bugs.
Jim.

Speaker 14 Jim.

Speaker 14 Jim the judge. Oh, my God.
Look at them. They're all big bugs.

Speaker 14 That's just Tammy, Jim. That's just Tammy.
I mean...

Speaker 14 Yeah, they're trying everything. They're trying all their fucking...

Speaker 14 That is so, that's so close to I'm buying it. I'm buying it? The bugs.
Oh, it's so crazy that you'd be like, maybe this is real. So you're like, oh.

Speaker 14 I think it's fake, but then the bugs thing is so great that I'm like, maybe.

Speaker 14 The bugs thing is pretty great. Bugs is great.
Yeah. Oh, no.
I can't go out there.

Speaker 14 All those reporters are bugs. Don't you understand? Where am I going to go? They're bugs.
Look at them. They made a how.

Speaker 14 They're coming to get me. I can't go out there right now.
They're all bugs.

Speaker 14 Yeah, all right. They're bugs.
People will buy that. Oh,

Speaker 14 they want to take. They're coming at me.
Look at them with their beady little eyes and their teeth. Look at that one.
They're coming at me. Oh, no.

Speaker 14 He was committed to a psych ward until fit for trial. I now know they were not bugs.

Speaker 14 After 30 days in a correctional facility, I have learned they were no longer bugs. Holy shit, are they not bugs? They're not bugs.

Speaker 14 Eventually. That guy might be a bug.
Yeah, eventually he goes on trial and he was found guilty on all counts and given 45 years in prison and a $500,000 fine.

Speaker 14 I fucking great about jail. Fine-wise, at some point, it's not going to happen, but it would be great to get our shit together fine-wise.

Speaker 14 What's the matter?

Speaker 14 Nothing. I just, nothing.

Speaker 14 We should fine people like if they have millions of dollars that they've invested. They'll never do it.
They're always like, it's $100. Yeah, it's never a fine that justifies.
Never.

Speaker 14 It's like, you've got to be bankrupting. But 45 years in prison is great.

Speaker 14 But, you know, you've seen him on TV. He's on TV now.

Speaker 14 Yeah, right.

Speaker 14 So

Speaker 14 how much time do you think he actually served? Oh, God. They're always disappointing.
Six? Five. Yeah.
That's fucking stupid.

Speaker 14 Jail taught me that they were indeed bugs.

Speaker 14 While he was in prison, Tammy filed for divorce and quickly married the contractor who had built Heritage USA. Wow.
Who went to prison for bankruptcy fraud in the fallout of PTL?

Speaker 14 Well, she's got a real good. You might want to wait until the trial's over before you pick the replacement suitor.

Speaker 14 Jimmy was one of the fiercest critics of Baker's fall from grace.

Speaker 14 So he just jumps on every single fucking person. Yep.
Every person that's slightly got any kind of crap. Any biblical heat.
You're going to go in and say, I'm the good one. They're the bad one.

Speaker 14 Follow me. He's Facebook.

Speaker 14 He's got Facebook. Yes.
But he knows all those people are so susceptible and they will just immediately jump shit. They're looking for another, yep,

Speaker 14 another

Speaker 14 flower to fertilize. That's right.

Speaker 14 He called Baker, quote, a cancer on the body of Christ. That's

Speaker 14 really hard. It's going hard.
That's yeah, that's that's that's that you remember that. That sticks with you.

Speaker 14 His A Chris Dalia, by the way. Don't.

Speaker 14 I just ate. His new album is Cancer on the Body of Christ.

Speaker 14 It's got him on the crucifix like,

Speaker 14 we're one of the only shows that really is goes after Jalia. Yes.
No, everyone shouldn't continue.

Speaker 14 I should point out that Kyle Anderson, who was on the Pastimes, he made a Dalia dock that's incredible on YouTube called The Crystalia Problem. Yeah, it's great.
It's really,

Speaker 14 yeah, if you're a fan, it might be worth a watch.

Speaker 14 Let's just say the only thing they came after him for was a music copyright.

Speaker 14 With his big rivals gone, Jimmy can now become the top televangelist.

Speaker 14 Finally, Attorney General Ed Meese had released his famous porn report. By the way, I mean, I love the porn.
Do you go to porn report? Yeah, I do. They got great stuff.
It's a really

Speaker 14 good stuff. Did you just see the thing I posted?

Speaker 14 So my wife likes to go on next door now just to read how crazy everybody is.

Speaker 14 She better make sure you're logged out. She sent me.
So

Speaker 14 it's so goddamn funny.

Speaker 14 Oh, God. I have so many conversations here.
People. Okay, so this woman in our neighborhood writes, good evening.
What's a relaxing hobby you enjoy after work?

Speaker 14 And some lady, Janet writes, crocheting knitting.

Speaker 14 And

Speaker 14 Debbie writes secondlife.com.

Speaker 14 Casey writes Gardening for Me and Edward writes Pornhub.

Speaker 14 God bless you. No, how does that work? Are you able, do you have any idea who Edward is? No, it's not.
It's fully anonymous. But no, they put your first name and last name up on everybody is.

Speaker 14 So we all know that Edward's like either a perv or hilarious. He's hilarious.

Speaker 14 You know who he is? I don't know who he is, but that's he's just being funny. Like, that's just.

Speaker 14 Yeah, I would imagine he's being funny, but I would also imagine some people would be like, that's in poor taste. Yeah.
Edward. Edward is the king.

Speaker 14 Edward's crushing it. Edward won the king.
I wish I lived next door to Edward. Yeah, we all do.

Speaker 14 Okay, so

Speaker 14 Edmis is.

Speaker 14 I mean, people who aren't alive for this, it's so fucking crazy. It's, it's, it's a thousands of pages report on porn by the fucking attorney general.

Speaker 14 It's genuine, like everyone on the left and liberals were just like making, it's just crazy. It's, it's genuinely insane.
It's a government report on porn. It's insane.
It's insane.

Speaker 14 Inside of it, inside in the report,

Speaker 14 James Dobson said heavy metal was a form of porn. And Jimmy ran with that.

Speaker 14 Jesus Christ. He said it wasn't just the music, but also rock magazines.

Speaker 14 The only way you could try to thread that needle is that there's hot women in

Speaker 14 like,

Speaker 14 what year are we in? We're in the 80s.

Speaker 14 This is, I think it's the late 80s when this game was. So like music videos are out.
So like you're seeing hot, hot, like attractive women

Speaker 14 in music videos, as well as you're seeing

Speaker 14 the rock stars are kind of glammed up so i'm not saying i'm like obviously i'm just saying

Speaker 14 the

Speaker 14 it's insane but music wise you cannot be like i'm gonna go jack off to led zeppelin well they're yeah they're just trying to tie it all together yeah they're trying to make it so that

Speaker 14 take down everything that they view as anti-god or whatever and i'm definitely a lot of the metal guys were just like yeah okay i'll lean into the yeah i'll lean into the devil shit just because because it's you guys are fucking idiots yeah a shout out the devil and other

Speaker 14 um

Speaker 14 but there's definitely a lot of hot women are into metal so there's tons of hot women are on the scene uh

Speaker 14 the jessica hahn was definitely in metal videos around the metal scene now what about because you were i don't know if people know that you were in a glam band called and the antidote antidote yeah and like you were doing a lot of you guys did a lot of shows on the sunset strip and stuff so what what the vibe at that time when it comes to this stuff, that must be kind of a vibe shifter for.

Speaker 14 Well, when they started coming after us? Well, like you're kind of, you know, you're lobbed in there with like all of the, you know,

Speaker 14 you're on a list of those 20, 30 groups, and that's like the Sunset Strip crew.

Speaker 14 And then they're, did you guys kind of galvanize around the fact that you felt kind of attacked from the right a little bit?

Speaker 14 I don't know if galvanized the right word, but we, we, first of all, we thought our record sales would go up.

Speaker 14 Did they? Yeah, they did. I mean, that's when I started taking the snake out of my anus on stage.
Right.

Speaker 14 Which was like, you know, a nod to the bottom of

Speaker 14 the wave and the thing.

Speaker 14 And then sort of.

Speaker 14 Yeah. And that, but, but if memory serves, that when you started really pushing that during every song is when the sales did start to decline.
I mean,

Speaker 14 you were going through what, two, three snakes a show? Yeah, and a lot of them died. Yeah.
Yeah, a lot of the snakes died. Well, I don't know.
But it was fucking metal. Yeah, yeah.
No, I know.

Speaker 14 Super metal. I know.

Speaker 14 I know. I I just know that when the right.

Speaker 14 We would also, like, we would fuck on stage. The whole band.
Well, yeah, we'd we'd do like in between, like, a lot of bands would do, like, a solo, but we'd have one guy fucking a lady.

Speaker 14 Oh, you did it, right.

Speaker 14 And then we'd film it. So it kind of was porn.
So he might have been filming. No, that to me feels like porn.
That to me feels because it's a film. I think it is because it's filmed penetration.

Speaker 14 But it's pretty metal. Yeah, we definitely

Speaker 14 helped the cause. We had a lot of of close-ups, yeah.
Yeah. But so

Speaker 14 it's still, it's rock and roll, you know. No, I know.
I just think, okay,

Speaker 14 I'm ready to,

Speaker 14 you know, move back into the. I mean, the band eventually broke up because one of our guys went up to Washington and got fucked by a horse.
I'm ready to get back into the scripted part of the show.

Speaker 14 Okay.

Speaker 14 Thank you. So

Speaker 14 Jimmy runs with it.

Speaker 14 He said it's not just the music, but also rock magazines. And in June of 86, Jimmy gave a sermon attacking Walmart and Kmart for carrying these rock porn magazines.

Speaker 14 He's just going after all of it. Yeah, he's going after all of them.
He's going after the Marts. Because he can attack whatever he wants because he doesn't get corporate money.

Speaker 14 Anything he attacks brings in more money from people.

Speaker 14 who are sending in checks.

Speaker 14 There's a similarity to Scientology with the fact that if

Speaker 14 you're in the club, you're like... Preston cut this.

Speaker 14 He also called the magazines, quote, more dangerous than hustler and playboy. Now, that's crazy.

Speaker 14 Well, I mean,

Speaker 14 I had a probably two-year subscription to Hustler at one point, and I'll tell you,

Speaker 14 they show a lot there. But I also, this sounds crazy, but I genuinely was like, they had a very, their political leanings, I really did like

Speaker 14 reading Hustler too.

Speaker 14 Plus, they gave you a DVD. And then they're also showing you close-ups of vaginas.

Speaker 14 That part to me, it just doesn't even, I don't know if they did that to the...

Speaker 14 Maybe they did it the wrong one. I don't even remember.
Well, he's saying this because he's saying that

Speaker 14 it's in a Walmart and a Kmart, so it's more accessible and more kids are seeing it and getting sucked in as opposed to a penthouse, which you can't get at Walmart.

Speaker 14 So Hit Prater magazine wrote about Motley Crew, and they described sex with groupies. The band, the guys talked about.
This is not going to be good.

Speaker 14 Jimmy claimed the article was read by a 13-year-old boy.

Speaker 14 Quote, the smut business has moved out of the back alleys and the adult bookstores and into your family convenience stores like 7-Eleven.

Speaker 14 I mean, all right, I'm just going back to when I was 13.

Speaker 14 Definitely, if I went into a 7-Eleven and I browsed the magazine zone and I saw one of these, I could probably do my business.

Speaker 14 Right there? no no no I'd go home no but I yeah

Speaker 14 yeah so you know picture picture a world in which you don't have access to porn at any time you want by pulling the thing out of your pocket not the thing but the phone the penis oh the penis um it's a different world so you do different world you did have to try to see it where you could

Speaker 14 And it was definitely tantalizing to watch walk by, if you're a kid, walk by

Speaker 14 the book, the newspaper rack. It was.
It was like how an animal would like,

Speaker 14 store food. It was like when you, when there was a huge,

Speaker 14 no, no, no, hold on.

Speaker 14 It was, you'd be like, if you're like an if you're like a hungry animal and you're not like hunting, but then you see a place for food, you go, I'm going to eat now. So what am I going to do? Not eat?

Speaker 14 So you're, you got to take, hold on. It's like a squirrel storm nuts, except you're.

Speaker 14 You got to take your shots. So you're, you got to take your shots.

Speaker 14 Young Gareth is grabbing his Playboys and his wheeze and store my mental imagery or what when I could get it you'd store it and you'd put it in you'd get it well that's what we've all everyone's talked about forest porn your nut house well that was a bit I had well not but it's okay but it's true yeah it is true I remember when I was a boy there was some fucking hero yeah who was leaving smut on a lawn yeah and you'd go into the woods and you'd be like this fucking dude left like four fucking weird Yeah pictures.

Speaker 14 It's true. And you'd be like, yes.
Yeah. I have a whole bit about it because it's true.
It's an actual thing that happens. It was awesome.

Speaker 14 I still do that for kids. All right.
He called. Sit there with the mags.
That's not what we're going to call it. Hold on.
Pest pressed.

Speaker 14 No, no, no. Keep this.
I'm sitting there with the mags in the woods, and I'm waiting for the boys to come over. And I'm like, fellas, it's Christmas.
It's come Christmas.

Speaker 14 Jimmy called rock musicians, quote, preachers of perversion, masquerading as musicians, telling the kids that your parents or anyone else who tells you what to do is the devil and you got to shout right back at them and it doesn't make a lot of sense.

Speaker 14 I don't like ending arguments with it doesn't make a lot of sense. I feel like you kind of lose your crowd a little bit.
Perverted sex themes and actions on stage and all.

Speaker 14 Kick Parader, August 1984, carried a lead article about the group in which this particular man describes some of the band's sexual escapades.

Speaker 14 He said the other day we had this one chick in the van and she was hanging over the seat naked.

Speaker 15 And what follows is a description in detail of varieties of sex acts performed by the girl on band members and vice versa.

Speaker 15 Language

Speaker 15 and depictions too obscene and graphic to include.

Speaker 15 The story was sent to one particular organization by a parent who found her 13-year-old son reading the magazine.

Speaker 15 This magazine, I want to tell you something.

Speaker 15 Hit Parader is a rotten magazine that can be bought by children of all ages at places like Walmart, Kmart, the grocery store, and practically any other retail store that sells magazines.

Speaker 15 The smut business has moved out of the back alleys of the adult bookstores into your family convenience stores.

Speaker 15 Like 7-Eleven.

Speaker 14 7-Eleven was like, bro, chill.

Speaker 14 Boy, there's so many people there. You can hear a pin drop.
Fuck, it's really packed. He's, you know,

Speaker 14 he's warning them of danger.

Speaker 14 It's amazing to be doing this on the heels of Jim Baker.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 14 Just be like, hey, look out. These are your enemies.
Right? You know, and I guess that's one of the reasons he did it-to like take the

Speaker 14 power back. Well, yeah, you're tape, but like everyone's like, What the fuck is wrong with these televangelists?

Speaker 14 And then you can do that, and then it turns into a thing, and everybody runs with it because

Speaker 14 that's how it is. Yeah, everybody in the media and all the politicians and everyone else is going to be like, Yeah, he's right.

Speaker 14 Yeah, gives the rights something to do while they're fucking taking everything away.

Speaker 14 So, Walmart executives spoke to Jimmy and then removed 32 magazines from their stores. Fuck me.

Speaker 14 Jesus Christ. Rolling Stone? What the fuck? Circus.

Speaker 14 Cream. I don't know.
I mean. Hit Parader.

Speaker 14 And of course, Tiger Beat. Tiger Beat.
Wow, that felt... That's, yeah, that's about...

Speaker 14 It's about Tiger Beat. How am I going to jack off to the Fresh Prince?

Speaker 14 Huh?

Speaker 14 What did you say? Are we testing mics or are we talking about this? I think Tiger Beat is about Tigers beating off. No, no, no.
You're way off. I'm thinking of a different tiger beat.

Speaker 14 Yeah, that's different. You're thinking of tiger beat.
I'm thinking of tigger beat. No.

Speaker 14 Oh!

Speaker 14 All of a sudden I played with it and it got super big and weird.

Speaker 14 Is that honey?

Speaker 14 Not anymore, it's not. Who bears someone has done something to my honey?

Speaker 14 I wouldn't have said right away, my friend. I would give it another second.

Speaker 14 Mix it up a little bit.

Speaker 14 Eat the honey that's the bottom.

Speaker 14 The top is now no longer good.

Speaker 14 Tiger made a creme brulee.

Speaker 14 Take a torch to it.

Speaker 14 Crisp the top.

Speaker 14 He really focused on hit parader, which he tied to drugs, venereal disease, and homosexuality, etc. All the bad things that he in his mind.

Speaker 14 Avra, a famine.

Speaker 14 Biblical floods. Quote, I don't listen to this music, but people in my organization do listen to it for research.
Oh, my God, just sitting there. And they give me printouts.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 14 Oh, so weird.

Speaker 14 And it's mind-boggling what's going on under the guise of freedom of expression. Yeah, no shit, asshole.

Speaker 14 Walmart pulled. comedy albums and rock albums, including Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Motley Crew, Ozzy, Black Sabbath, Judas Priest,

Speaker 14 and People Lashed Out. I mean this is the whole thing.
We've talked about it before, but it's just the full Streisand effect of this shit. Now you're in the fucking news.

Speaker 14 Like,

Speaker 14 but the truth is that he's a lot of this is not even...

Speaker 14 It's not an inearnest mission because he probably knows this just stokes his flock harder.

Speaker 14 Absolutely.

Speaker 14 Yeah, he doesn't give a shit. Yeah, he couldn't give a fuck if a 13-year-old's whacking off to Hit Parade.
And the more a band gets mad at him, the more he gets fame with the God people.

Speaker 14 Especially in this era with government. I mean, you know.

Speaker 14 So it gets him all the attention he wants. He's on mainstream news.
He's. It'd be great if he did an interview with Hit Parade.

Speaker 14 He's confronted on CNN's Crossfire.

Speaker 14 And in an LA Times article, any attention is good for him. He now has a TV audience of 2.1 million,

Speaker 14 a ministries complex worth 100 million, and 1,500 employees, and a college. Oh, my God.
And that's the end of part one. Oh, for fuck's sake.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 14 Ugh.

Speaker 14 Coming out like this. Talking about this right now is particularly horrendous.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 On part two, we break up. What? Just a fire near me.

Speaker 14 I'll teach you to talk about this guy.

Speaker 14 Hey, dollop fans. I know you love the dollop.
You love listening to the dollop. Do you want to watch the dollop? You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about?

Speaker 14 By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth. Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation and we are starting to animate some of our episodes.

Speaker 14 So if you want to go watch a five-parter animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, I can't remember, of The Rube.

Speaker 14 You can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube.

Speaker 14 It really genuinely kicks ass, and we're very proud of it.

Speaker 14 And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them.

Speaker 14 We're already making a second one, so go there and watch The Rube.

Speaker 18 It's time to head back to school and forward to your future with Carrington College. For over 55 years, we've helped train the next generation of healthcare professionals.

Speaker 18 Apply now to get hands-on training from teachers with real-world experience. In as few as nine months, you could start making a difference in healthcare.

Speaker 18 Classes start soon in Pleasant Hills, San Leandro, and San Jose. Visit Carrington.edu to see what's next for you.
Visit Carrington.edu slash SCI for information on program outcomes.