120 - The Past Times with Trae Crowder

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All right, everybody, welcome to the Pastimes podcast.

Each week, we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony.

I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I've never seen it before, and neither is our guest this week, the great Trey Crowder.

Hi, Trey.

Welcome back.

Back once again, ready to venture into the past.

The ocean days.

Yeah.

Your.

There's no better guides than Dave and I.

Dave and I are we're kind of wonks.

Yeah.

Dave, after all your years of traipsing through the past, like have you like, do you

do you find that every era is kind of the same or is it actually more horrific at certain times?

Because it always, the past seems like a real horror show to me, but then other times it's like, well, humans are humans.

You know, things are always bad.

Yeah, I think it's kind of always the same.

Yeah.

I mean, I mean, you have periods where things go up and down.

Like, you know, like we had a great period where everyone was taking vaccines and now they're not going to.

Yeah.

So this will be a down one.

Yeah.

Until we call enough of the herd and then we can

back on the upswing.

Gonna be awesome.

It's gonna be great when we eat RFK.

Dave, would you swap today for another time, or do you think we're about to enter

the worst of it?

What do you think?

Because it's such

adding tech into today is very strange.

Yeah, I mean, and I did a little reading this morning on on AI and what they're doing.

And you feel?

Yeah, I think I would swap it with another time.

Interesting.

Interesting.

But which one?

Like, you just go back to the 90s or you do like...

Yeah, I would go back to like the 70s.

The 90s would be great to redo.

The 90s were the best.

That's what I was thinking.

The 50s were the best.

You know what I mean?

Oh, shit.

But we didn't, like, no one cared about anything.

Everyone was just partying.

Like, it was really the

most carefree time.

It really shows that we didn't care today.

Very silly.

You know, it's the attitude era and pro wrestling.

Yeah, jagged little pills,

slackers.

I murdered Dave's dad.

Trey, you have a podcast of Corey, Ryan Forrester, who's been on the show and played his farts.

Yeah, famously.

Putting on airs, which is weird because he was kind of letting out airs on ours.

And then

Trash Daddy, your new special on YouTube.

You said it's the most watched special of all time on YouTube?

All time.

It's crazy.

Setting records.

Blazing past

all who came before me.

Yeah, but no, I mean, it could be.

We're on our way, Gareth.

If all of your fans here at the Past Times go watch it, I think that'll put me over the top.

I can't.

We can't.

Do you want to know?

Do you want to know something terrible?

Do you want to know something terrible?

You see this dog back here?

Yeah.

Just farted.

Nice.

That's why we call it Corey.

Really bad.

Trey, we're going to guess the year of this newspaper as we always like to do here at the PTP.

You get to guess first because, as I've alluded to before, if you don't, Dave will make sure I lose.

It's a whole thing.

Dave has some problems.

He refuses to seek counsel.

He sort of takes it out in these strange ways on the people he loves.

And he loves me, but he still sort of is acting out in this way.

And my role is to not try to confront it, but to try to kind of work around it like a big stone in a beautiful river.

Okay.

So

I don't need to be burning all y'all shit.

You guys are

just,

yeah, yeah, exactly.

Just just, Dave, please.

You're telling yourself that I love you to get through it.

Dave, okay, Trey, go ahead.

Okay, here's what I all right.

I'm just, there's no like clues or anything.

I can't remember.

I just pick a year that I think this newspaper might be from.

I'm not going to give you a clue.

Yeah, I don't think I'm going to do that.

Hey, what?

How about want me to read you part of this headline?

Tremendous frauds are alleged.

There you go.

Okay.

Frauds.

2019.

Yeah, I was.

So 1884.

It's pretty good.

I had someone

clues?

Someone broke down.

You don't get...

You don't get to

bring tremendous frauds or up there.

This isn't who wants to be a millionaire where you'd reach out to Patty.

You got like a microfiche database on your phone.

Someone has messaged me with the inside story, and I can't.

There is no inside story.

Shut up.

That's what a guy who has got an inside story would say.

This is really good.

What?

I'm going to guess.

Just leave it alone.

First of all, both of you.

Okay.

You think that

two white men ganging up on an English guy?

You think that's a good look for this show?

It's 1923.

Trey wins.

Wow.

You ran out of the cat.

This is the first.

What were you doing?

Fuck you.

Win by default.

Fuck you.

The only ways I've ever won is by default, I think.

So I'll take it.

10.40 a.m.

and Dave.

Fuck you.

1923?

It is April 20th, 1923, and it is the

Americus Times recorder in Americus, Georgia.

Americus, Georgia.

Americus.

I've never heard of that.

That's like that.

Trump will bring that back for sure, being like

the states that vote for him will be preceded by an American.

Also, 1923, so everything's cruising along in America, right?

Talk about the 90s.

Yeah, everything's boom time.

And they're starting to tariff it up a little bit.

Starting to turn it off.

Women were flapping all over the place.

I love the flap in the 20s.

Yeah.

Smoking cigarettes at the end of sticks and stuff.

Yeah.

A roaring time, as I remember.

Everyone was dressed like the penguin.

Exactly.

Exactly.

Yeah.

No booze, though.

Well, not legal booze.

Wow.

Right?

Was that Prohibition happening in the 2030s?

Sure.

Why not?

Yeah, why not?

We can, yeah.

Tough time.

Yeah, Prohibition was in the 1920s.

I mean, I wish I could say I knew where this was, but it's like an, it's like, it looks like it's like an hour

southeast of Columbus.

Columbus.

Is it

America plural or it's Americus?

So like, like if we spell it.

It's like, okay, A-M-E-R-I-C-U-S.

Okay.

It's like cuss.

It is cus.

It's the cuss.

Americas.

Amaricus.

Americas.

Amaricus.

Yep.

Amaricas.

I'm from Amaricus, Georgia.

That oddly sounds more Georgian to me, even though it sounds somehow more

exotic at the same time, but I don't know why.

It's like directly south of Atlanta.

So it's like between Atlanta and Tallahassee, basically.

Which is America's paint.

A hotbed.

Yeah, it's a hotbed.

That's what they say.

Cultural hotbed.

Yep.

Right there.

And it's the America's Times Recorder headline, big headline right across the top.

Jail sentences handed eight millionaires.

Tremendous frauds

are alleged.

That doesn't sound like millionaires defrauding people.

Yeah.

They got there.

Yeah, it's a meritocracy.

It's always been a meritocracy.

What do you guys think the

What area do you think the crimes were done in?

Banking.

You think banking?

Fraud.

Speculating.

speculating yeah what if stealing people's farms to give to railroads yeah close thing you guys are close it's uh it's pottery okay

the other big one yeah pottery profiteers

given

pottery profiteers given prison terms and heavy cash fines okay

One convicted of conspiracy must serve 10 months and pay $5,000 fines, too.

Of course we think it's

always where we fuck up.

We've been fucking that up for so long.

Like when you hear about like what they're doing in China, where they're like, yeah, we threw them in the ocean.

And then we're like, we're going to fine you a 90th.

Yep.

Yeah.

It's like they say, you know,

if something, if the punishment for something is a fine, then it's only illegal for poor people.

That's how they work.

That's why they call it a fine because they're like, oh, it's not going to affect me.

I'll be fine.

Seven others found guilty and sentenced to serve six months.

This is out of New York.

Archibald Maddox, president of the Thomas Maddox Sons Company of Trenton, New Jersey.

Of course, they're from New Jersey.

Those are some good 1920s names.

Yeah, they really are.

Archibald Maddox of Maddox and Sons or whatever.

Explore boys.

Yeah, the dogs, obviously.

Very comfortable.

One of the individuals convicted with 93 pottery manufacturing corporations for conspiracy in restraint of trade.

I did.

How do you

even defraud somebody with pots?

Honestly, you buy a pot and you get a pot or you don't, right?

And even if you're even like a shitty pot, I mean, I consider most pots to be fairly shitty.

Yeah, like I don't, I don't follow.

Or were they trying to, I know this is like towards the end of the gilded age, right?

So were they trying to lock down like a pottery monopoly and like screw over any competitors

ruthlessly robber bearing their way into the pottery industry or something.

I'm sure they cornered the pottery market.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sentenced by federal judge Van Fleet to serve 10 months in the penitentiary and pay a $5,000 fine.

Seven other defendants described by the judge as members of the Sanitary Potteries Association as active participants in its price-fixing operations.

See, they don't say that collusion.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Pottery collusion.

It's hard to imagine this pottery ever being this exciting.

I agree.

I mean, yeah, I can't believe anyone cared in this country about, you know, price.

Well, just any of this, really.

Price collusion, price fixing.

They're like a pottery mob, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's a pottery conglomerate, right?

That's what we're talking about.

And people had to pay.

Like, someone had to go to jail.

Yeah.

Pottery conglomerate, not for me.

I prefer my pottery in a barn.

All right.

I'm a pottery barn type of guy.

Well,

not really.

I've never been there.

Never will.

Trey,

open yourself up a little bit.

Take some LSD, go to the pottery barn.

You'll understand.

I looked up pottery.

I just Googled in a couple of the browsers, pottery conglomerate, and

there's nothing there.

So what's happening?

I don't know.

Like someone cornered, these guys cornered the...

Are we talking about like plates and pots?

Are we actually talking about it's not good when you're this level of confession?

Because Trey and I are not going to be able to help.

Well, again, this is like this era, there was a lot of this type of shit in just American industry period, right?

Because it was like

when American industry blew up the way it did.

You know, this is the era of the robber barons, Rockefeller and all, and Vanderbilt and all those dudes, and they were like, ruthless and screwing people over and all that shit.

And it sounds like these guys were just trying to do the pottery version of that

what rockefeller did for oil they're trying to do that for the pottery industry and then we're gonna shut down all the mine pots

yeah

yeah i mean but ceramics and stuff are used in like electricity so this was

i guess yeah and also probably plumbing and stuff like that but yeah all that stuff it's definitely industrial okay as long as it's yeah i'm picturing like a va like the vases like Well, I think that's what we should all be picturing just for the sake of the show.

Take him out back and kill him.

You mean kiln him?

Stop.

Gareth.

Come on.

Ah, that took me a minute.

Because I was thinking about people who do that themselves, like throw, throw, isn't that what they call it?

You throw pots, don't you?

No, I mean, he's talking about the pigeon, the pigeon shooting thing.

No, isn't that what?

No, no, no, no, no.

No, it's, isn't that what it's called?

If you got like a disk is a spinny thing?

No, a spinny thing.

You put t on a spinny thing

like in ghost, like in the movie ghost, like hippie chicks with no brash fucking pots in a, in a barn.

I got a

little bit of a cold.

Let him go.

Let him cook.

Isn't that called throwing?

I've never heard it called throwing, but it is picturing a brawless demi-moor.

Yeah, right.

Me ghosting on her face.

I don't know about demi.

It's more of a brawless Laurie Lori Metcalf, usually, I think.

In your special, you do talk about how you guys up there in your area come up with weird phrases.

So maybe this is one of the things that's specific to your

we cannot trust any AI thing anymore, but I googled throwing pottery and Google's AI overview says in pottery, throwing refers to the process of shaping clay into vessels on a potter's wheel.

Okay, you're right.

Yeah.

I'll tell you one thing.

If I die and I got a brawless demi more in front of me and I'm feeling her as she makes clay, I'm going to throw a load on her back.

There you go.

Throwing loads, throwing pots.

What the fuck's wrong with you?

Ghost loads.

Come on, Dave.

Oh, Christ.

The boys are enjoying themselves.

This is why we're the bad boys, David.

You either lean in or lean out.

It's like a ghost sex crime.

That's like you're...

You can't.

Ghosts are allowed to do it.

There's no...

No.

No.

Stop.

No, they're not.

You're not going to be too ghost me.

There's tons of movies where the ghost does stuff it's not supposed to do.

Like, that's almost most ghost movies.

I'm saying it right now.

I'm doing whatever I like when I'm gone.

Sorry, ladies.

I mean, you're both right.

Ghosts do.

They are prone to sexual assault, I think, and assault of all kinds.

They love that.

Like, sexual assault, fucking opening and closing cabinets, twisting knobs and shit like that.

These are ghosts.

They're going to twist my knob.

Is Gareth ghostly?

No, they are.

But Gareth is also right that they can do it because they're ghosts.

Ghost court means you're going to bust them?

I'm going to put my knob in the hand of every sleeping person I want.

All right, so we're going to have to now create a ghost police force because this is.

Keep.

You're out of your jurisdiction.

Except for ghost cops.

You're out of your jurisdiction.

Actually, that exists.

That was founded by Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges, I think.

Ghost cops.

It did very well, memories of it.

It did really well.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Imagine being on set of that movie and being like, this is really going to fucking bump.

Yeah.

I'd be like, really?

I feel like we're checking every box.

Yeah.

This is dog shit.

It's men in black, but for ghosts, it's going to be sweet.

It's exactly how the guy pitched it went.

I guarantee you.

Men in black, but for ghosts.

Yeah.

Air thrillers are promised by bugs.

Well, I mean, what?

This could go so many different ways.

Air thrillers are promised by Bugs.

So, Bugs is in quotations here.

Bugs.

Oh, this is the 20s.

Bugs Malone.

It's Bugs McGowan.

That's his name.

That's right, boss.

Yeah,

exactly.

It's exactly how he talks.

Don't worry.

I got wings.

I'll fly us right out of here.

Bugs McGowan, nationally known daredevil of the air, says

America's residents will be given the thrill of a lifetime Wednesday morning at 11 o'clock when he promises to perform some of the most daring and death-defying feats known to aerial acrobatics.

And a few not-so-great ones.

And one when I die.

What's his name?

Bugs McGowan.

Yeah.

Bugs McGowan.

That's the greatest.

Known nationwide.

Gareth, are you looking up to see if he died in a plane?

Obviously,

I'm looking up to find out when he died.

I'm hoping it's right here.

Truly, he did.

There's no way Bugs live to to a ripe.

I'm hoping it's after this weekend.

Ariel Daredevil, as, you know, Airdevil, as Garrett said, in 1923.

That's like, that's how long have we even had planes?

No, you're a badass.

You're a badass at that.

You're a real badass.

Do they still do that?

Do people still walk out on wings and stuff?

Oh, I don't know if they do that.

I know they have air shows where they do tricks and shit.

Yeah, yeah.

I love that.

And then it's funny for the kids until you go to the one where the crash happens.

fiery crash happens in the crowd, yet and everyone

burns to death in jet fuel and whatnot.

Numbers of stunts will be performed with airplanes, says Bugs, among which will be what is known as wing walking, parachute jumping, hanging from wings, skid in midair, and other stunts.

Wait a minute.

So is he

doing both?

Like, he's doing all.

He's flying up there, but then also, like, is someone else flying and Bugs is on the wings doing wacky shit?

I think most of these guys traded off.

Like, one guy would fly and then they go and walk.

I think that they're like usually teams.

Yeah, but you need another guy to die with you.

Well, Bugs' other guy isn't getting any shine here, though.

No, he's not.

That's true.

But Bugs, they can fucking credit.

But the other guy's like, yeah, you go talk to him, Bugs.

I don't do press.

I'm not getting it up at 8 a.m.

Or it could be a woman, like a magician's assistant, because they didn't count at all back then.

I don't think

that's a good thing.

They were sawing him in half.

He was like, hold your blood in.

Right.

So if they're all, they might also have been, you know, making them stand on the wings of

things in the sky.

Throw her in the propeller.

Give the people a show.

Yeah.

Oh, I'm learning so much over.

Did you find Bugs, McGowan?

There's just.

Is there anything about Bugs?

Well, keep going, and then I'll do a Where Are They Now?

Well,

I'm going to move on to the next story.

Okay.

So he

Bugs,

what is the date of this paper?

23.

1923.

Okay,

I'm pretty sure

he dies pretty soon after this.

Uh-huh.

Jesus Christ.

Okay.

So on July 4th, 1923, he kissed his wife goodbye and headed out to the state fair, blah, blah, blah.

It was four years to the day that he first jumped out out of a plane.

When his teammate decided to opt out of the stunt that Independence Day, Bugs decided to go it alone.

The precarious exploit involved the pilots setting the plane on fire and jumping out at the last possible moment.

Smiles beamed from McGowan's face as he took off in front of a waving, cheering crowd.

The next line is: when they found Bugs, he was still smiling, sitting in the cockpit, his lifeless hands wrapped around broken lever controls after his vainly attempt to make yet another good landing.

He was laid to rest in Oak Hill Cemetery near Quitman, which obviously is something he should have done as his eyes scanned the heavens.

Yeah, so he was named Wizard of the Air by the Miami Herald.

He died like that fat old British colonel in the mummy with Brendan Fraser.

Remember that guy?

It's quite a reference.

Yeah.

Well, at the end, he dies smiling.

Yeah, he's like on one last flight.

But Bugs was only 21 years old.

Dave, what was the date, the exact date of this?

April 20th is the April.

So he had a few more months.

Wait, it's April.

Did you see?

And he died July 4th.

But this is an April thing, and he says he's promising to do it in the few.

Like, you know, is it this summer?

Or he's doing it that week in America.

Okay, all right.

So he had a couple more months left.

Yeah, but it's definitely, we're seeing the seeds of his brashness.

It's so funny that, like, a trick back then was just like setting the plane on fire while you're in it and then just like abandoning it to crash into like a farm or river or pond or school or whatever.

Yeah, really, not really daredevil as much.

I mean, I guess it is kind of, but it's daredevil.

It is daredevil, but it's

well, now I just call it flying spirit air.

The pastimes will be right back.

Okay, we're back.

Go ahead.

They did have a woman with them, actually, apparently.

Yeah.

McGowan and the flying farmer McCullen, A.B.

McCullen, the Flying Farmer, were the main two.

And they had a 20-year-old female, Mabel Cody,

who was the niece of Buffalo Bill Cody.

Oh, wow.

And it says

she was an instant star.

In fact, they were known collectively as Mabel Cody's Flying Circus.

So

I think maybe

Bugs, this was like a side hustle for Bugs here.

He was doing a...

doing some solo gigs.

Well, I mean, you know, he was trying to pay the bills.

It wasn't like pottery life back then.

You had to find some side hustle.

Anyway, he's dead.

Yeah.

I mean, well, they're all very dead now.

Yeah, but he's dead shortly after.

He's been dead.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Smiling.

Smiling.

Smiling

crash.

No way, by the way.

No.

Ten slowly starving marooned on island.

This is out of Minnesota.

Cold, half-exhausted three men

who for 48 hours battered away through slush, ice, and open water reached mainland here yesterday, bearing the news that 10 others, nine men and one woman, are slowly starving on Fox Island,

18 miles from here in Lake Michigan.

It's funny because it does, the premise does sound like a Fox reality show.

That's a good reality show.

Fox Island could be a pretty good place to film.

Yeah, drop people on Fox Island and see if they live.

They pitch a they Fox Island is where you pitch a crazy reality show and Fox forces you to actually do it.

Yeah, you remember they even at the high-to-like reality shows, they were doing one where they were like pretending that they were murdering people.

I don't.

Like it was like a murder mystery.

And I mean, of course, everyone knew they weren't actually, but I'm saying they like they cafe it the whole time.

Right.

Like these people are actually dying or whatever.

You can probably

joke.

Joe Millionaire or whatever.

I was just going to say that guy who was like

secretly poor which is gross you know

or or uh my big fat obnoxious fiancé

like i knew the guy kind of the guy who was his best friend and i remember being like well this dude's fucking gonna is famous forever

that him made

um As a result of their story, two Army airplanes are driving throughout the sky, through the sky,

from

suffrage airfield to carry food to the maroon party on Fox Island.

They don't say why they're there.

Sen McGowan.

But it's like a given that people are just starving on an island.

They're like, oh, well, people are starving on an island again.

There's no, how did they get there?

Well, yeah.

I mean, people used to just go places and claim them and shit still back.

I mean, it's a little late for that.

But if that island had not yet been claimed, I could see some people being like, let's just go claim that island.

Well, there was probably a lot of like people trying to do that work, claiming things that had already been claimed and thinking about theirs, you know, squatters' rights.

18 miles out is

a long way, man.

I mean, those lakes, you know, I don't know if you guys know this,

there's something else.

Well,

this is one of the great ones.

This isn't one of the 10,000, right?

You said,

this is one of the big boys.

This is not the one, I think, that never gives up or dead.

It's Superior, I believe.

It's Gordon Lightfoot.

Is that true?

It's to be

wrecked with Edmund Fitzgerald.

But I think that is the thing they actually say about Lake Superior.

She never gives up her dead because it's so cold in there that bodies

don't come back.

They sink all the way or some shit.

Wouldn't it be great if Lake Superior was just waiting and then in like 30 years, it all of a sudden on one page of her dead man?

It just pops up all the dead.

Yeah, that would be a wild movie.

That's a good news song.

I'd put that scene in like a climate change movie.

Because

it's because of the temperature of the water.

So

if it gets warm enough, all these corpses are just going to float to the top of Lake Superior.

And I think they're kind of permafrost.

I think they're kind of preserved, too, for the same reason.

Because they're so cold.

Yeah.

That would, you could, yeah.

Somebody write that down.

Let's go pitch that to Box Times.

Yeah, whatever we might go.

That I really like the idea of the people of the dead bodies frozen climate change unfreezes.

Yeah.

And we now have zombie climate change just yeah yeah uh

um

no i do but just not like to remember the lyrics yeah it took me a minute that's a good i always feel like gordon lightfoot is sting's real name like because his real name's like gordon something i'm like that ain't sting

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Seeming really send it to the send it to the cage.

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Sups!

The new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway.

We demand to be heard.

Winner, best score.

We the man to be seen.

Winner, best book.

We demand to be quality.

It's a theatrical masterpiece that's thrilling, inspiring, dazzlingly entertaining, and unquestionably the most emotionally stirring musical this season.

Suffs playing the Orpheum Theater October 22nd through November 9th.

Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.

Here's some local news.

Cake sale at Piggly Wiggly.

Ah, love a Piggly Wiggly.

That's the main grocery store in my wife's hometown of Waynesboro, Tennessee.

Big player in Wisconsin, too.

Big player, yeah.

The Ladies Missionary Society of the First Baptist Church are conducting a cake sale at Piggly Wiggly store every Saturday for the benefit of the society's work.

The ladies desire to furnish cakes for Sunday dinners.

You couldn't do that today.

You couldn't sell cakes.

They would be like, no, we sell cakes.

Do you think you could sell?

They let Girl Scouts sell cookies and they also sell cookies.

You don't make cakes or that's a different animal.

Just weird.

But people do, I don't know.

People still make shit at home and sell it sometimes, right?

Yeah, a farmer's market or something, but probably not going to carry it in like a main store.

The Girl Scout comp is pretty good, but I do also think if this were today, you'd find out like someone was putting poop in the cake.

You know, it'd be like, there'd be a scandal underneath there.

What is the ladies' work?

This is their fundraising for their work?

For their church.

It just says the Ladies' Missionary Society of the First Baptist Church.

I've been to the Ladies' Missionary Society once or twice.

Gay conversion camps or something like that.

Have you done

the gay out of paper?

Straight cakes.

Have you been to the Ladies' Backdoor Society?

Oh, you mean the Women of Doggy?

I prefer the Ladies' Doggy Style Association.

It's called Dogma Style.

It's strange that that story is even in here because it's really a very non-story.

It's just maybe a subtle plug for Giggle College.

I don't know how to

down there in Americus or Americus, but I've in my hometown's newspaper in like the fucking,

well, no, they would reprint.

stories they had from this era before and the stories would be like mr and mrs lemuel martin rode into town for three days the other day like that type of shit like not just nothing yes just they

Visited by cousins from Ohio.

Yeah, there's a lot of that in these papers.

That type of shit.

I don't go over those because it's

too boring and not funny.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, but it's all, there's like always a big column.

It's like, Frank and

Gina are back for two days.

My uncle, who is six, nine in England, lives in a very small, very small town.

Oh, this is great.

Yeah.

And he's like a fairy tale character.

Like a tiny little English village.

He's like feet five foe fumming or anything.

I remember

he would come to hello, mate.

How are you all doing?

I need another bowl of soup.

More soup, please, if you don't laugh.

So

there was an article about how

his toes were popping out of his shoes.

Like when he was, when I was a kid, this ages me.

When I was a kid, he couldn't find shoes big enough for himself.

But then, so that was in the paper.

And then he came to Wisconsin and we went to the Nike Outlet store in Illinois somewhere.

And he bought like four pairs of shoes that could fit him.

And so when he came back, there was a follow-up about now

how he found in America the ubiquity of size 18s or whatever he had.

I know he isn't, but I'm just picturing like such a lumbering oath of a like peasant with a front

covered in tomato seeds

from walking through town.

Yeah, right, yeah.

You go back to him where you've come from.

I've come to eat your children.

Sorry, I've bashed another roof with me full red.

As he's just eating mud, there's some good mud over here.

I've got a bit of mud over here, my fucking dog.

Exactly.

Exactly what I'm picturing you all.

But the governor's passed away.

I blame him.

He was walking near him earlier with his dead back.

He's got his big foot.

Good.

Effort is launched to make America's big circus center.

Make America's great again.

Nice.

Big circus center.

The Americas Chamber of Commerce and other organizations in Americas have sent invitations to Messrs.

Mugavin, Bowers, and Gavin, proprietors of five large circuses, to make Americas permanent winter headquarters for one of their circuses.

It's called bringing in business.

It's called SeaWorld.

Circuses were real big at this time, I think.

Oh, they were.

And also, yes, absolute horror shows.

Oh, yeah.

It's like the other thing fucking, what's it, Nightmare Alley or whatever it's called?

Yes, yeah.

Jeremy Del Torrello movie.

And they got like homeless dudes biting the heads off of chickens and shit like that.

And like, yeah, the tigers and Macey

beat all this shit.

Like, it's.

Yeah, this is this is like a mayor or someone going, hey, what if in the wintertime we had the most horrible people here?

Yeah.

Entertaining us.

Yes.

And dude, the clowns back then, do you ever see pictures of clowns from the 20s terrifying what

I refuse to believe that was ever entertaining to anyone especially children oh my god it's like were they designed to horrify people like why is his hanky got so much blood in it

what is he doing well it's like I'll see that sometimes be like driving through the middle of the country and it'll be a sign for like Wild Jacks Kansas City safari and you're like there should not be a giraffe here right and sometimes you think that, like, ah, you know, it was a different time.

People just didn't give a fuck back then.

And I guess a lot of people didn't.

But then there's like, there's that famous movie, you know, Freaks, right?

It's called, you know, I'm talking about from like the 30s.

It's like from around this time, basically.

And it's about a sideshow act at a circus, like a freak show.

But it, like, the point of the movie is that it's like fucked up or whatever.

Like, it's so

people were awake.

It was very woke.

Woke.

Woke had already, yeah, woke Hollywood at it again in 1932.

Oh, now you're going to ruin circuses.

Yeah.

They already, yeah.

The woke police have taken out circuses.

Oh, they took out freaks.

Freaks had to go.

Remember when you could revel in someone's disability comfortably?

Then woke came.

There was a lady.

Now they got terms and ramps.

There was a lady in this time who made a lot of money in the freak show circuit by winning a contest for

World's Ugliest Woman, right?

And

what I immediately thought about with that is that someone came in second place for World's Ugliest Woman.

That's high kind of and didn't even get the job.

You know, it's like went through all that for just like

jam.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, exactly.

Probably not shit.

Yeah, probably nothing.

Go back to starving in the street.

It's also, I do always think that about like, like, remember when like SeaWorld, when Blackfish came out, and like SeaWorld was getting dinged so hard, and you're like, fuck yeah, they're done.

And then now it's still there.

They're still doing great.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was just in San Diego.

We didn't go to SeaWorld, but I mean, it's still there.

Oh, yeah.

It's still there.

Yeah.

Is Marine World still there?

Marine Land in Canada?

No, there's a Marine World in Vallejo, California.

I don't know.

The same deal.

It was the same company.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So cool.

And where are many

killer whales and sea life?

Vallejo.

It's

absolutely a natural area.

Yeah, it's a couple hours inland.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

No, it's great.

So did this work, the circus?

Let's see.

For several years, these circuses have wintered at Peru, Illinois, and the winters there are long and severe.

Boo Prue.

What?

America says boo proo.

Under where it's warm.

Come on.

We actually want to open one on Fox Island.

Yeah.

All the circuses do end up wintering in Florida.

As they should.

Yeah, right.

Yeah,

the governor sometimes.

It is believed it is possible to persuade Messrs.

Muggavin, Bowers, and Gavin to again come to Americus.

Oh, so they've been here before.

Climate conditions here are especially favorable to the wintering of menagerie animals.

What's a menagerie animal?

It's like the tigers and the elephants and all that stuff.

Another term for the zoo, basically.

Yeah, menagerie is a collection of.

Is it specifically animals?

You can only have animals.

I think so, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

They can be made of glass, famously.

Yes, glass animals.

Yes.

With several suitable buildings already available on the Aggie College campus, where the Robinson shows wintered several years ago.

Oh, so they've done this before.

They're trying to get the circuses back.

Sure.

Yeah, right.

Well, so they wanted to, they wanted them to make it a permanent winter time headquarters.

Headquarters.

Yeah.

So yeah.

It's like a residency.

Yeah.

But if you have a, if you're running a college, imagine coming in after the summer and being like, oh my God, this place is ruined.

Like, would you want a bunch of circus people

and animals staying in your college?

Dave, carefully.

Freaks.

Sorry.

He's all woke again.

Wintertime specifically.

So it would be like over the holidays.

You come back from Christmas break and there's just elephant shit everywhere in college.

Yeah.

And just like a drunk rig.

Drunk clowns.

Yeah, right.

And well, yeah,

the sheets are smeared with clown makeup and blood.

I mean, that would be upsetting for sure.

Clean, fine circus.

I have never seen a cleaner or finer.

Clean fine circus.

Sure.

Yep.

Those are the best things.

One of the clowns just ate tiger poop.

Things are fine here.

I've never seen seen a cleaner or finer circus, and their America's friends, of whom there are many, will be glad to know of the splendid success they are making.

Many of us hope it will again be possible to persuade our circus friends to winter.

He doesn't say who that is a quote from, but that's a quote from one of the people.

You don't need to attribute that with any of that.

That was just kind of societal sentiment, I believe.

Yeah, that's what everybody thinks.

Well, it's like Newsom's trying to bring like entertainment back here.

They're just kind of, you know, incentivizing the circus to just have the residency you know what we should get our circus friends back why did they leave they were sexually assaulting people and just murdering anyway i'm thinking we can put them where the aggies are yeah

i think many of them were wanted for murder by the federal stop law enforcement agency did you hear the clowns can now chew through bone yeah

didn't that clown eat a whole guy chick eats the whole clown eats the whole chick this

Just watching the clown.

It's not just the head anymore.

Eat the bones.

Yeah, that's the headliner of this circus.

Not just the chicken's head.

Eats the entire whole raw chicken.

Come watch Wrinkles eat an entire chicken.

People just like eating corn dogs and shit, watching this.

Horror show.

Why doesn't the clown blink?

I don't think he needs to, hon.

This is just a little blurb, one of those little blurbs that happens.

Things Things always could be worse.

Wouldn't you have an awful time eating if you had no elbows?

It makes you think.

Manners,

not to manners.

So they had pot back then.

Yeah.

There was a magnet.

Was that like Jack Handy's grandpa working at this fucking newswriter in America?

Yeah, yeah, right.

Would it be harder to eat if you didn't have elbows?

Yeah, I guess.

But what the fuck?

Walk into a room and your senile grandma's alone looking out the window and just says that as you slink out.

Yeah.

I'm now like actually thinking about it because it's elbows specifically.

So you'd still have arms, right?

You just couldn't.

Well, see, I'm thinking they're like this.

You can't, they're like straight all the time.

They're straight.

So they're sticks.

They're sticks.

You could not, you know, they're right.

This guy is right.

It would be very hard to eat without elbows.

You'd have to feed each other.

It's like

you'd have to team up all the time.

That's right.

Or you just put the, you put the food in front of you and you feedback it.

I often do that anyway.

I'm a big fan.

Fuck.

I like to feed bag it.

Well, I saw you were drinking something from your magic bullet, it looked like.

You had to slop this

protein shake with some fiber in it.

Oh, good.

Uh-huh.

And I'm on the toilet now.

Yeah, yeah.

Can you read the headline one more time of this one, David?

What, the one that I just did with the elbow thing?

There was no headline.

Oh, what was the, what was this, can you read it again?

Because it feels like it's manners-based, doesn't it?

Well, there's no, it's just one of those little tiny blurbs

in the paper.

Um, things always could be worse.

Wouldn't you have an awful time eating if you had no elbows?

Okay, I got nothing.

I think it's just meant to like improve people's day or whatever.

It's like, you know, hey, here's something.

I think none of the depression is looming and we're living in a dust bowl and everything's awful and like, you know, falling apart and you can't even get drunk about it.

But, you know, at least you don't have to eat without elbows.

And people are like, thanks for pointing that out, Archibald.

It certainly, yeah, I think it does.

Look, it's fun.

It's also, I think, the way these papers are constructed, you just,

how does this even happen?

I think we should have more than 20.

Guys, hi.

This is the really great 20s.

This is the 2020s.

What would be great would be to buy a fortune cookie company and make those things the fortunes.

Just to be able to be in charge of what you're putting inside there.

Just like shower thoughts like that?

Yeah, just stuff where people are like, I don't feel good.

And then you open up a cookie and there's a little thing.

No, no, you don't feel good after the cookie.

Oh, after.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, you're just like, well, that made me feel weird and uncomfortable.

Yeah.

Just like Dunkin' Donuts throws donuts outside.

You can still eat them.

I got one for you.

Sort of, this reminded me just because it has to do with elbows.

Sure.

It's not exactly the same thing.

But,

you know, the people that are born blind,

they don't see what you see with your eyes closed.

They see what you see with your elbow.

What do you think about that?

That is perfect for my fortune cookie business.

Absolutely perfect.

Yeah.

Exactly.

Is this an elbow?

Someone just booked headwriter.

Is this an elbow-based fortune cookie?

It just became one.

It just became one.

Because they kind of are elbow-y.

You're right.

They are.

Elbow fortunes and everything's a, you know, you can get tennis elbow from not playing tennis.

How about that?

Your lucky numbers 30.

Do you ever think about that?

So there's still lucky numbers.

Yeah, yeah, but they could be weird.

Every lucky number is 69.

Judges rebuke wet banqueters.

It has come to be so common for some of our best citizens to belittle and ridicule the prohibition amendment

that it is not surprising if the new law by many is regarded as a joke

so people are laughing at the fact that you're dumb laws yeah so is it so this is saying prohibition is like it's brand new it's just happening is what

23 it's a couple years in so yeah but there's still people are still not taking wet banqueters are people that are having booze at their banquets or whatever just yeah they're eschewing the law

yeah right so there's what they call people wet and dries, basically.

Yeah, right.

Okay.

This was illustrated, this was illustrated at the National Capitol when the Phi Delta Phi, a fraternity of own lawyers.

Oh, man.

Can you imagine?

I mean, I know where they're not saying it's a frat, but imagine being in a frat in 1923 with no alcohol, that energy in that room.

Come on.

Nothing but hazing.

Well, there's also hate crimes and stuff that could get us to the

little impromptu lynch mob type you have to lynch

because those were yeah yeah i think they were fine at the time yeah that was that's still allowed well yeah yeah

yep but it is but you're right that it is hard to do your sex crimes when you're sober i think that's just what are you gonna do actually play lacrosse the whole time on topic with this with all the gay stuff you could still do but yeah it's not the same on you know the it is harder to sexually assault a pledge when you're not drunk.

Well, actually, sometimes it depends on the person.

We'll figure it out.

I'm just saying it's just tougher.

But on topic to this headline you just read, it seems like

people, everybody was just still drinking, right?

For the most part.

I know that it was like illegal, but that's like it was, you know.

Yes.

Yeah.

Booze was everywhere and people were still getting drunk all the time.

That's part of why it was such a huge fucking, you know, misfire.

And yeah.

Yeah.

Right.

You could, you could get drunk anytime you wanted still.

Pretty much, yeah.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

See, American

is great.

Yeah.

Might make you go blind because it was made in a radiator by Tupac Hillbilly or whatever.

Actually, that's where I'm from.

But

they were the best at that.

They were poisoning booze.

Like the government was poisoning booze.

They killed like over 10,000 people.

Yep.

Well, you know, got to do what you got to do.

Got to teach them a lesson.

Somebody.

We needed an RFK back then.

Some more poisoning the booze.

Yeah.

So fraternity, so Phi Delta Phi, a fraternity of young lawyers, sent out invitations to a dinner to be given in honor of Justice George Sutherland, the new Supreme Court judge.

Some smart alec, you know, that's

yeah, you're not supposed to actually say that as a newspaper reporter.

You're not supposed to call guys smart alex, but some smart alec prepared the invitation to be very funny.

They spoke of the dry law in the usual flippant and maudlin way, and they indicated that liquor would flow freely at the banquet.

Fuck yeah.

So see, but I mean, this is in D.C.

It's a celebrated Supreme Court judge.

I'm not surprised that they're all just like, you know,

flaunting it publicly in front of everybody.

Yeah.

But yeah, we're still getting drunk.

We don't give a fuck.

Poison all those poor people's liquor.

Don't forget to do that.

Don't forget to poison the liquor for the regular people.

But,

you know, it's

17 Bordeaux here for dinner, by the way.

Or champagne.

At this banquet.

I mean, basically, they were just saying what was going to happen, but everyone's just mad that they put it out there.

That's all it is.

You're supposed to not say it out loud.

No.

Yeah.

The invitation,

Aling, A-L-I-N-G, Al-Ling.

That must be a misprint, right?

A line?

Maybe a line.

With a lot of other rubbish, included an inquiry.

Along with a lot of other rubbish.

Oh, along.

There you go.

Along with a lot of other rubber.

You're a good puzzle guy.

Well, we got there together, though.

I kind of loosened the jargon.

I don't know.

I think he just got a jumble and he handled it.

He knew it wasn't a line because of what I said.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, he's super elimination.

Yeah, exactly.

The invitation, along with a lot of other rubbish, included an inquiry as to whether the person who was invited believed in the 18th Amendment and the Volstead law, inquired if he had a seller or could he get it somewhere else and wanted to know how much he would bring to the banquet.

Okay, so he just, so this guy said there's going to be a lot of booze and then just went on and on.

Yeah.

to be specific,

Judge Sutherland and Judge W.P.

Stafford of the District of Columbia Supreme Court, who was scheduled as Toastmaster, took similar action.

So much indignation was aroused.

Toastmaster is laughing in the face of Toastmaster.

Yes, absolutely.

Yeah, if you're the champagne, Daddy.

So much indignation was aroused aroused that the affair had to be called off.

Well, I mean, so the one problem is that they are judges and lawyers, so they're not, that's like the one group that's not probably,

yeah, how much you want to bet.

A bunch of mouthy broads out in the streets fucking ruined that for them.

Yeah, woke temperance loving, you know, the temperance society.

It was always, seemed like it was always a bunch of Christian ladies.

Probably those chicks selling cakes.

It's probably the cake with them at the Piggly Wiggly.

That's probably what they were raising money for is to try to keep their husbands from getting drunk.

That's disgusting.

Having any fun.

I don't know.

Judges and lawyers.

Judges and lawyers are not only supposed to live a dignified life themselves and set an example.

It's comical.

But

they're bound by sacred oath to uphold the Constitution and the laws.

It's so funny.

This episode would be trivial in itself, but it has importance because it reveals what a contempt for the dry laws exists, and it shows to what extremes the enemies of decency will go if they are not rebuked.

So

it is hilarious.

I mean, there's a lot of people.

To go from that to Brett Kavanaugh is very funny.

They're fun cops.

That's what they were.

Fun cops.

It is explained that the references to liquor were intended only as a joke.

Oh, my God.

You think we were really going to be drinking?

Hide the champagne, put it in your ass.

which is openly wet says that oh sorry but even the washington post which is openly wet says that if any subject should be immune from ill-judged humor which is really scurrility it is the law of the land oh because they're just saying don't don't joke about the law

but okay you said the washington post is openly wet so like publications were either they like publicly were either pro or anti-prohibition yeah if you're against it yeah a wet a wet rag the washington post famous wet rag Yeah.

In the 20s.

My new special will be called openly wet, by the way.

Nice.

Just with a martini spot everywhere.

Openly wet.

That's what we should do.

I'll get sober and we'll just do a dry wet podcast.

You'll hate it.

You will absolutely hate it.

What we should start doing is start advertising at our shows that they're openly wet.

Yes.

The show's openly wet.

Leaps into river to escape arrest.

Classic move.

It's awesome already.

Classic move.

We don't have jurisdiction over the water.

I hope there was a waterfall and

stand at it for a while and think.

Look back, you know.

Last of the Mohican style.

Yeah.

And then launch himself off of it.

I will find you.

Probably not.

Probably tumbled over a shitty bridge.

Probably wet.

Wet at the time.

Yeah, probably.

This is Savannah

out of Savannah, which is one of the creepier towns I've ever been to.

Yeah.

Pretty, though.

Pretty, very pretty, but

it just has an aura of bad stuff happened here.

Yeah, for sure.

Charleston's like that, too.

They both like, they're like,

they're like

lovely, but also like slavey, you know?

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

Which is unfortunate.

All title for America.

Yeah.

Lovely, but but slavey.

Yeah.

An unidentified white man, and they also have to do that even at this time.

Well,

before you get into the story, what color was the guy?

Right.

An unidentified white man today leaped from a liquor-laden automobile into the

legger.

Yeah, he's partying.

Yeah.

No, he's running it.

I mean, he might.

And partying.

I hope he's partying too.

I think you have to be a little drunk to jump out of a car.

Well, I don't, you know,

not if the fuzz is on your tail.

It's just, it's a great image.

To get yourself to the point where you're like, well, I'm sewing this shit.

I got to jump in this water.

Oh, I wonder,

maybe the car stalled or they had him cornered.

They were like on the other side of the bridge, chasing him, and then cops were on the other side of the bridge.

He just grabs an armful of booze.

What's he going to do?

Yeah.

He leaped from a liquor-laden automobile into the Savannah River to escape revenue officers and when lifted from the river and taken into a boat, again jumped into the water and disappeared under the wharf.

That's what you do.

So they got him after the first time?

Like they had a cop in a boat ready for him to jump in the water, but then when that boat got him out of the water, they weren't ready for him to then jump out of the boat into the water again.

Like they didn't have a, they should have had a second boat cop.

Well, that was part of the training going forward.

Like, now, guys, I know what you're thinking.

We got him out of the water.

He's in the boat.

This case case is closed.

These guys will jump back in the water.

They're liquor fish.

Officers found his automobile at the ferry preparing to cross into South Carolina.

JC Kennedy of Augusta, who was at the ferry, apparently waiting for his chauffeur and car, claimed the automobile and the liquor, and Kennedy was arrested.

Well, that's interesting.

He kind of fessed up.

I don't know if that's the same guy.

No, it's a guy who was.

Oh, no, the chauffeur is the guy who jumped into the water.

This is the guy who said he was waiting for the car.

So this guy.

This is the guy.

This is the guy who's.

I ordered an Uber liquor.

This is the guy who calls the cops now, and he's like, someone stole my weed.

That's this guy.

This reminds me back in the day when the South loved like a Gator,

a Burt Reynolds moonshine runner, and they didn't like cops.

And then they all switched.

I had a whole bit about that on my first, like my first album, actually.

Yeah, because it's true.

Cause it's like

we even bootlegger.

I mean, that NASCAR is like one of the biggest sports in the South, and it was founded by bootleggers running from the law and shit.

Like, smoke in the bandits, like, you know, the bandit was the one who hit for people.

Like, the Dukes of Hazard, the whole show was just two, you know, cousin fucking country boys running from the law all the time.

What were they running from?

Just

good old boys?

Just two good old boys running from

different things.

Just confidence.

That really was the show.

Was the whole time they were doing it?

Yeah.

Just, yeah.

There was more to it.

Like,

they were moonshine runners, but they also had, they shot dynamite on arrows as you would.

But yeah, no, redneck, like, when I grew up in my redneck town, like, rednecks fucking hated cops.

Like, hated them.

Rednecks and cops were like natural enemies and for good reasons on both sides.

But like,

but now, you know, rednecks are all rocking the like thin blue line flags.

Yeah.

Yeah.

From bootleggers to bootleggers.

Absolutely.

That's it.

Nailed it.

As things

as the worm turns in America, I think the rednecks are about to find out that the cops are once again not their friends.

But we'll have lessons.

And it's time for the liberals to have a taste.

Radio installed at plane store.

How do you spell it?

Planes.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

It'd be P-L-A-I-N-S, not the other way around.

That would be good.

But yeah.

I'd heard it as P-L-A-N-A.

I did too.

I think it might be what got McGowan.

But that, yeah, it was like the 20s.

I doubt they had plane stores.

Yeah.

No, not yet.

Not yet.

I mean, well, they don't have plane stores now.

I don't know what I'm talking about.

I don't realize I saw a plane, so I don't know why.

have anybody.

Excuse me.

Plane store running

store.

Yeah.

Roll into a town today and be like, hey, where's your plane store?

Yeah.

With a modicle.

I'm looking for your plane shop.

But I still don't, knowing that it isn't, it's P-L-A-I-M.

It's just a town, I think.

I think it's a town.

Oh, a general store?

Yeah, I think it's a general store in a town.

Yeah.

But

called the Plane.

That's the first time.

It's called Plains Pharmacy.

So Plains Pharmacy.

Plains Pharmacy.

All right.

Okay.

Plains Pharmacy has recently installed a radio outfit by Snow Bowers.

Bowers also has a radio outfit in his home each evening.

Snow Bowers is the name?

Snow Bowers is all names.

Old-timey names.

Wow.

Yeah.

Fuck yes.

Well, they like snow.

Bugs and Archibald and all of these

all over.

Everybody had a funny name by Christopher.

I like how Archibald is in there with snow and bugs.

Well, Archibald

is pretty good, too.

It's a different kind of funny name, but it's still a very old-time expense.

It's like the wrestling promoter versus the wrestlers, bug.

Right.

And your name is Trey, right?

Yes.

Okay.

I'm not the third, if that's what.

Yeah.

Oh, you're just making fun of just my name?

That's all I'm saying.

I think he's just coming at you.

I'm just saying that that's also not a

normal name.

Also, not a what?

Trey, don't listen.

Dave,

this is what he does.

Trey's a real name.

Trey's a real name.

So is Gareth, even though it's just been changed.

It's Gary.

Oh, all right, Trey.

All right, Trey.

All right, Trey.

All right, Trey.

I see.

Even in this country, it's not.

Oh, here we go.

All right.

Okay.

All right.

I'm going to call my cop Archibald right now and give him a little.

Bowers also has a radio.

I like how they don't call it a radio.

Bowers also has a radio outfit in his home.

I believe that's a suit made of antennas.

Each evening, numbers visits the drugstore to hear concerts given from distant states.

That's what they used to do back then, yeah.

Yeah, go to the drugstore to listen to the radio.

Gather around the radio.

Listen to

Texaco presents fucking

the Park of Ya Carcass Comedy Hour or whatever.

Oh, better.

I like it.

It was better.

Well, we're going back to that now.

It's like,

kind of.

Fuck it.

Yeah, we'll all be gathering around an iPhone.

It's all radio.

Well, it's all just radio shit and it's sponsors and all that stuff.

It is kind of like,

I'll tell you, it's weird being in the business that we're in and then also being online and like scrolling through Instagram and be like, literally everything is a podcast now.

It's just, it's so weird to watch like three people just be like, well, that's the whole thing.

Like, you need to be careful.

And you're just like, what?

Literally.

I saw one the other day and this, it was getting, it was getting passed around and doing numbers because people were like, can you believe this is a thing?

It was like making a point about what you were just saying.

Everything's a podcast.

But still, it was doing numbers.

It was like three 13-year-old boys talking about pizza.

It's crazy.

What do you like on your pizza?

It's just like a cheese.

I'm not a, I don't know, pepperoni.

I don't really do pepperoni.

It's like, you know, no, I don't, I'm just regular cheese.

It's like, yeah, cheese is great.

Cheese.

And that's like literally the whole thing.

And they're middle schoolers.

Podcast.

They're middle schoolers and they're crushing.

And I saw the other one I saw was them talking about oatmeal.

Yeah.

And it's really like, it is so fucked up because, you know, we look, we, I remember like seeing like younger people in my family be like, wow, they're growing up with phones.

It's so weird.

It's like, that was weird for sure.

Growing up where you're like, I need to feed the algorithm my whole existence.

Yeah.

Way fucking weirder.

Yep.

Yep.

Yep.

Way weirder.

All right, last one.

This is this is in two parts.

Okay.

Story of Cuthbert's record dance a hoax.

We have some fools here, but not one big enough to dance 116 hours, editor J.J.

Howell of the Cuthbert.

Corey Booker of the Two-Step.

Yep.

Editor J.J.

Howell of the Cuthbert Leader writes the Macron Telegraph.

So it's an editor writing another paper.

Right, it's an editor of one paper writing another paper.

Suggesting that this dance was

bullshit.

Yeah.

Fake dance.

An Atlanta paper.

He had waxed legs under his pants.

He lit a chair.

An Atlanta paper carried a story Sunday to the effect that a Cuthbert couple had danced 116 hours and some odd minutes when an irate brother of the dancing lady broke up the show by carrying away his sister.

I think we all are on the brother's side.

I mean, imagine your sister being out there dancing that light.

That's entirely too long.

It's disgusting.

She got to get back to scrubbing the goddamn floors.

Yeah, that's exactly probably why you turned your office.

I haven't eaten in 116 hours.

Honestly.

They're just covered in piss and shit.

I'm starving.

It's been five days.

Editor Howell says, News Editor Telegraph, Macron, Georgia, dear sir.

They didn't have to put in, they already said who it was to.

They didn't have to put in the.

I like it.

Dear sir, I find that a news story has been sent an Atlanta paper regarding someone here breaking their dance endurance record.

There is no foundation for it.

It is simply a joke that has been put over the newspapers.

We have some fools here, but not one big enough to dance 116 hours without stopping.

I bet you do

bullshit in 1923 when there's no booze.

Yeah.

Yeah, they were people would be.

Very possible.

And then he ends it by saying, I think yours, J.J.

Howell.

So he's not really sure,

but he's pretty sure.

So I don't get it.

He's just like, is this just a dude who just heard this story?

And he's like, that is entirely too long for a person to dance.

Yes.

It's not within the realm of possibility.

I'm a dance-ematician.

And they publish it and they're like, I don't know.

He might be right.

This guy's right.

Like, there's no,

like, that's

asking, no evidence gathering.

You can't, like, talk to the people involved or anything.

While a man could potentially pull this off, the woman is where the story falls apart.

She would obviously faint within a matter of hours, as they are wont to do in this particular era.

A woman would die after 40 hours.

Yes.

She would barely have the vapors within 32 or less.

I'm suggesting that the woman this man was dancing with was also a man, making the entire dance null and void

but people did dance that long i think they 116 hours i mean i mean i didn't i'd have time i looked into dance dave that's over three days i did i looked into dance contests once and i was even more i think like it's almost three and a half days i was gonna do a dollar bottom but they did go like people legitimately got hurt because they would dance they would be up so long Well, that's called falling the herd.

For what?

Because you'd win money because they were desperate for money.

Okay.

If you can imagine that in America.

It's funny to make dancing like gladiatorial like that.

People are falling out and breaking their legs and shit.

It's like, you want to pay your daughter's medical bills?

Well, then fucking dance.

Well, it's funny.

Worthless sack of shit.

It is funny.

This country ain't never changed.

So I was just going to say, it's funny to picture that and be like, that's crazy.

And then also remember the videos of like the slap fighting shit you see now and be like, yeah.

I saw a thing the other day.

It's like, remember that meme that was huge for a while of like Success Kid, the little like toddler.

Yes, like he looks like that.

Yeah, I saw a thing the other day.

It said, Success Kid made enough money off of his internet popularity to pay for his father's dialysis or something like, or like cancer, and they're like celebrating it.

It's like, that's fucked up.

It's fucked up.

It's fucked up.

But yeah.

So our sort of feel-good dystopian porn is so amazing when it's like students help raise enough money for teachers' cancer treatment.

And you're like, this is not good news.

No, it's bad news.

It's incredible.

This reminds me of the movie Hands on a Hard Body.

Have you guys ever seen it?

I have no, no, I know.

What's the difference?

To win a Toyota truck, a dealership would do a contest where you would put your hand on the car and the last person standing would win the car.

And so people would just sit there for days.

I've heard that.

Well, the best part in Hands on a Hards on a Hard Body is this one guy who's like, his whole thing is he's like, my plan is to just load up on junk food now so I don't have to eat for the whole cup.

So he eats like Twixes and burritos and he crashes so hard.

No shit.

Oh, this is a documentary you guys were talking about.

Yeah, there's a documentary.

And then there's also the one guy who like is accidentally just like itches his face.

And they're like, sorry, Clarence.

I forgot.

Well, Trey, thank you for joining us, as always.

Yeah, always a pleasure.

pleasure.

Trash Daddy.

New special, very funny.

Matt, Trash Daddy.

Always wet.

TreyCrowder.com, all that stuff.

Trey Crowder.com, your dates.

Wet comedian.

Yeah, wet comedian.

Wet comedian.

Very wet comedian.

Soaking wet comedian.

Perpetually wet.

Corey's a sopping tweet.

Yeah, yes.

Yes.

He's absolutely soaked

at all times.

Yes.

The undryable.

You'd like to think at some point he would grab a towel from the former player, but I don't.

Just like a new shirt or something.

I didn't see it happen.

Well, thank you, Trey.

And Dave, as always, go screw yourself.

Thanks, everybody.

That's right.

Bye.

Some of these days,

you'll miss me, honey.

Some of these days.

Hey, Dollop fans.

I know you love the dollop.

You love listening to the dollop.

Do you want want to watch the dollop?

You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about?

By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth.

Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation, and we are starting to animate some of our episodes.

So if you want to go watch a five-parter animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, I can't remember, of the Rube, you can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of the Rube.

It really genuinely kicks ass, and we're very proud of it.

And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them.

We're already making a second one, so go there and watch the Rube.

like a dark bar.

Downy rinse fights stubborn odors in just one wash.

When impossible odors get stuck in, rinse it out.