678 - Douglas Stringfellow
Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the life of hero Douglas Stringfellow
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You're listening to the dog.
It's the American History Podcast.
Why are you...
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why are you mad?
Why?
With this guy.
Why?
Do the intro proper.
You're mean.
I'm not mean.
You're a mean man.
Gareth Reynolds, do the intro.
You can't.
Jesus Christ.
It's like
there's no call for professionalism on the show at all.
The bar is so low.
The bar is so low.
And
you mail in the intro to a podcast.
There's someone right now in a mine listening to this, like coughing up coal.
And they're like, boy, Dave really had a hard time with that intro on his podcast that he does from his home.
Look, if you're coughing up coal, you need to talk to your shop steward because
you should not be ingesting the coal.
You are.
Does that make sense?
It makes sense.
That's why we're putting the kids on the mind.
Dave, three, two, one.
You're listening to the dollop.
Come on.
It's an American history podcast.
Yes.
Each week I Dave Anthony read a new story.
My best friend, Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about.
Better, I guess.
I don't know.
Is it?
No.
Are you better?
How do you feel?
Good.
You started this.
I did not.
Gareth, we're going to be on tour.
Damn right.
Should I know the dates before I say that?
No, I think the whole thing is that
people love to hear you discover the dates along with me.
Oh, that's awesome.
June.
It is in June.
June, we're going to go on tour.
We're going to start in Sacramento on June 3rd.
And then it's every day this tour.
Then the next day it's Boise, Idaho, and then it's Bokan, Washington, then it's Seattle, Washington.
You're making people do the dates.
Oregon.
Yeah, that's all right.
And then Bend, Oregon.
And then we end on June 10th in San Francisco, California.
That's right.
Go get tickets at dollopodcast.com slash tour.
That's right.
And
that's,
yeah, I think we don't have anything else to say about that, right?
That's the whole.
We've got to get some more dates queued up, too.
I don't think we have any coming up, do we?
I think they're in motion.
Oh, I think that's a good thing.
Being set.
I love that.
You could check with the people that do that.
You could also do that.
Well, I know that one of them is listening.
I know that the great Tege.
Is the Teege listening?
Probably.
He loves the fart chair.
He loves the fart chair.
He'll text me every once in a while and he'll be like,
You said the wrong date.
He never goes, What a great.
Sometimes he'll go, like, that was a great episode.
But other times he'll just be like,
Hey, real quick, you gave the
wrong city.
That's fair.
That's fair because that's what we do.
Yep.
And you more often than me.
I'm not good at this.
No, no one said you were.
Yeah, they were right.
How about this?
Okay, so this is one we did live in Utah, and they didn't record it.
September 24th, 1922.
Let me see if you remember it off the name.
Douglas Stringfellow was born in Draper, Utah to parents Henry and Naomi Bertha.
No, well, first of all, Bertha berthed him.
Girl.
No recollection.
I vaguely remember the name.
I think you're overestimating how much I'll remember that.
I don't think so.
Okay.
When he was young, I really think this is one you'll remember.
When he was young, his parents moved to Ogden.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Utah.
Yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's about 10 miles east of Salt Lake City, and Ogden was a railway hub and the second largest city in the state.
And in 1938, the Ogden Stanner Examiner wrote that Doug had received
a special outdoor assignment from his instructor for, quote, studying the artistic arrangement of colors and vegetables and fruit.
Ah, what?
That's the best pass to get possible.
So he's just
off, he's just doing field work.
He's, he, I think that's part of his class.
That's the best.
See, that's what it should be.
I agree.
If it were that,
like,
on what level did you dread school when you were a kid?
Well,
sometimes, yes, but we had like, we had like,
okay, the best thing that happened in elementary school was there's a guy who brought like discarded items, garbage-like stuff,
and then we would make art out of it.
And they would just dump it on the playground.
And then we would make art.
Great.
Real ripe for poking jokes about a guy who just dumps a bunch of trash and then tells the kids to make paintings or something.
I'm talking about older.
What about 14?
What's your level of dread with school?
Well, my French class was in the first period, and one semester, I went three times.
Okay, so you're just a fucking nerd.
No, three times.
Oh, three times total.
Yeah.
I thought you meant you kept showing up for class.
Hello, teacher.
Oh, my God.
What is
grand?
No, I went three times.
I hated school so much.
It shows on the knowledge
I've come into the show with, but I could not handle it.
Yeah.
Let me ask you a question.
But if it was like, if you were going to go garden, or if you were going to learn how to make things,
or you were going to, you know, that sort of stuff would be enjoyable.
Let me ask you a question.
Do you think school liked you?
No, I actually have many records of it suggesting that I was a major problem at it.
So Douglas was an athlete and a football star in high school.
And he obviously was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which we will call Mormons.
They don't want to be called Mormons, but I don't care.
Well, first of all, rude.
And
Have a nickname.
I have to look.
What the fuck?
What's the new nickname?
Of them?
Well,
they're not Mormons?
They don't want to be called Mormons because, like everybody else, they had a big molestation scandal and they want to rebrand.
The
Reboot Jesus?
The Rebooters?
Yeah, the Rebooters.
All right.
He graduated in 1941
and went to Weber Junior College where he played football.
And he became a member of the local Excelsior Club.
Oh, boy.
Fucking.
I assume that's just guys running around shouting Excelsior.
I can't imagine anything else.
Yeah.
But what else could it possibly be?
And in that case, I'm for it.
I am kind of into it, too.
Yeah.
You should see me trying to spell Excelsior right now.
No, it's got to be an absolute nightmare.
Again, as people just heard, you basically didn't go to school and just stared at squirrels.
I was like, how come I can't be one of them?
Is it possible to just join their little areas?
Can I go into their tree homes?
You mean nest?
Whatever it's called.
Can I get credit for math for hanging out with the squirrels?
Hey, look, history is a real blind spot for me, but I've learned to pet a squirrel in the park.
I almost killed the squirrel yesterday.
Oh, God.
Your temper's out of control.
Not with a stare or the fists.
Oh, driving my car, I came running out and I had to swerve because
they don't get it.
They don't get it.
Look, their brains are little and they got to cross a road.
I'm definitely saying they're overwhelmed.
But by the way,
I don't know how many squirrels listen to this show.
If you're a squirrel, just dart.
Enough with the thinking.
Get out there.
Yeah, the whole I'm going to go through with this no matter what's happening is not a good idea.
Well, or no, but I think a lot of the danger comes in the like, hey, I'm going to go halfway out and then buck and peel.
Oh, yeah, there's that also.
Yeah.
If you got to get over there, get over there.
What about this?
Look both ways.
I mean, I think they do.
Look, it's a lot.
But I'm saying, just, it's like what a running back is like doing moves in the backfield.
Just pound the goddamn hole, squirrels.
In October 1942, the local paper reported Douglas had shot a 150-pound buck on the family ranch.
So this is partially just an example of how there's not a lot of news in his town.
Yeah, that's a, I mean, yeah, normally you go by points on the buck.
But
in February 1943, the Signpost, which is a paper, said he took part in charm discussions during Girls' Week events.
1943, Girls' Week events, charm conversations, not a lot to love.
Quote, lectures and roundtable discussions on the subject of charm were features of the AWS annual charm week.
Definitely concerning.
Definitely.
How to cross your legs.
Like from a guy.
I also feel like in college they used to do stuff that they now might do in high school.
Yeah, it's all very it's well with what kind of refinement classes were there for guys?
There was nothing.
No, they didn't need them.
No.
They're already refined that you and thankfully boys you came out perfect
while charles lampson gave a lecture on how women should style their hair and do makeup doug was part of the co-ed quiz roundtable where he discussed quote what qualities he believed a weber co-ed should possess that's just crazy Everyone agreed they should wear sweaters and skirts or some other casual type of dress, short socks and low-heeled shoes.
Man, I mean, it truly, it's like, look, I'm not saying things are good, but at least it's now like we've limited it to like porn hub search engines for guys rather than just being like, here's what I like: I like when you bend over and I can see down your shirt a little bit, and just the outline of the nipple, but not too much.
Do you understand?
That's kind of what we're going for.
I just talked to God, and he really enjoys it when you don't wear a bra, but you wear a white shirt and it gets a little cold.
That's nice.
God likes the headlights.
Does that make sense?
You know what I'm saying?
You know, really, just something.
Oh, and listen, you got to wear underpants, but nothing too baggy.
This is like they went to ask.
Like they had two guys come in and say what their fetishes are so so then women would dress that way.
Yeah, for them.
And then they were like, yeah, like, and then other guys were like, no, hold on a minute.
I don't like it where they wear underpants.
Like, okay, look, well, look.
Ladies, look, the charm week is full of varying opinions, which I think is what makes it such a helpful think tank.
So sometimes we want to see your panties, and sometimes we do.
Do you understand?
So go ahead and take them off and just give them to me.
Go ahead right there.
And Randy here likes to sniff them.
So there you go.
There you go.
You don't have a cold.
Oh.
So see, women, this is what we're trying.
We're coaching you in the right direction.
And remember, this is a religious event, I think.
We're helping you with charm.
This is charm.
It's pretty important.
Yeah.
You've heard of charm offensive?
Well, we're being offensive about your charm.
So really let us have it.
Yeah.
Wait, Dave, I do have to say,
speaking of Randy, my character from.
Do you remember my character from The Last Bip?
Yeah.
I am on the latest episode of Dumb People Town.
And they boxed me in to promising that I would promote it.
And it's a great episode.
They want to have you on.
Daniel Van Kirk, The Sclars.
Always a great time.
Go listen
they sent me a
tick tock but I haven't looked at it because I don't look at TikTok messages but I saw it came up it said the Scars sent you a message but I didn't look at it that's where I'm at with them you're with everybody
send me your panties
oh my god
the idea of knowing someone sent you a tick uh i'm in negotiations to open the sclars tick tock By the way, a lot of people get upset when you use the word panties, so I would just like to say yes, especially when you say moist panties.
We just lost half our listeners.
Well, I'll tell you what.
And gained those of us who are listening are growing.
Yes.
So welcome, Grogan boys.
Hello.
The U.S.
entered World War II and Douglas enlisted, joining the Army in April 1943.
The signpost, quote, Douglas may have a smooth voice, but he really knew how to treat the football rough.
If Doug treats the sergeant the way he did his opponents, the guardhouse bars will be the only remembrance retained from his army life.
I don't know what's happening.
Yeah, super weird way to write it on.
So, obviously, he's a good talker.
Yeah, despite why he was part of the co-ed roundtable.
Yeah, oh, absolutely.
And he's a rough, he's a tough boy football guy.
Yep.
So, if he treats the sergeant the way he did his opponents, his football opponents.
Yeah, it's going to be a problem.
The guardhouse bars will be the only remembrance retained from his army life.
Oh.
So,
yep, still don't fully have it.
Then I was stiffing around it a little bit, but then I think it's gone, honestly.
I mean, I think it's saying he's going to get kicked out of the army, but there's
what it is.
After basic training, he was picked to take an engineering course and trained at the University of Cincinnati for a year.
Great.
In March 1944, he joined Company C, 62nd Armored Infantry Battalion.
And in September, he was sent to Europe.
He never made it into the fighting, though.
Well, it's the way to do it.
Because on November 19th,
while in France, Before ever engaging in actual combat, he was part of a routine mine clearing detail.
A bouncing Betty mine exploded and shrapnel hit his spine.
In December, the Salt Lake City Tribune reported that he had been wounded in action in France.
He got the mine spine.
Now, notice the Salt Lake City.
He got the mine spine.
Said he had been wounded in action when he had actually just been in a mine.
Wounded non-action.
Sure.
It's action E, but it's different.
He returned to Utah and he was hospitalized at Bushnell General Hospital.
Now, Doug had lost the...
Can some of the nurses cut their outfits up a little bit
so that the men feel comfortable around them?
This is for charm.
This is for charm.
I need more charm, you know what I mean?
Before the surgery, if a couple of the nurses could sit down and the way they should cross their legs is very important.
For charm.
For charm.
And I like it when they put on a little bit of lipstick, but not too much makeup.
Otherwise, I don't think I'll be horny for the surgery.
Not slutty.
Not a slutty nurse.
Like a knot.
I love a nurse outfit, but can some of the nurses dress as French maids?
Or as you call them, maids?
What's best is when the nurse walks in and everyone starts chanting, charm, charm, charm, charm.
Charm, charm, charm, charm.
So he has lost the use of his legs.
Okay.
And while in the hospital, Doug said he sat in his bed listening to war reports on the radio, and he's completely depressed.
Sure.
And he saw his role in stopping the Nazis as just meaningless.
Sure.
And he said he just.
Yeah.
And he said he laid in bed and just fantasized about fighting the Nazis in the war.
You talking about a little
no, it's not a sexual fantasy.
Okay.
Well, that's good.
I mean,
that's good.
He's got patriotism in his blood.
We want to stop the Nazis.
He's Brad Pittish.
Douglas learned to use canes and leg braces to stand.
Okay.
He was a very good speaker and told his fellow wounded vets in the hospital about his heroics on the battlefield.
Go ahead.
May I jump in with a query, my friends?
If memory serves,
we've been talking about this guy for a little bit.
And
I do remember you saying he was never, he never saw combat and he got hurt in a mine.
And so now he's parlaying that into
talks about his life on the battlefield, which seems
someone went to French three times.
So he's lying.
If you do that, if you do
on a French test, it actually doesn't.
You know what I would love to do is go to France for a little bit and just see their American impression because it has to be.
Yeah, it's got to be great.
So he, yeah, like you say, he is
talking a bit much,
I would say.
So word gets out.
That.
And soon about his heroics.
And word gets out.
And soon he's asked to come speak at the LDS 13th Awards Sacrament meeting at Latter-day Saints.
Because he had obviously won
a Purple Heart and the Silver Star, the bronze medal.
Now, he's saying that he did, or he did?
Well,
he didn't.
The Purple Heart, yeah.
The Silver Star and Bronze Medal?
Yeah, he kind of...
He just got blown up before he went into battle yeah he was clear so that's why it seemed that it would be strange for yep them to give him a purple heart well he's yeah yeah okay so he spoke i mean it would be so great that he hears bullshit lying when people want to see it i mean you want to see it yeah you do want to see did you bring it uh i didn't actually i uh left it in the uber
You know what?
I had it out on my dresser to bring today, but then I completely forgot about it.
I keep forgetting it.
I mean, I should wear the goddamn thing.
That's what I should start doing: wearing it.
Yeah, it's your seventh speech here, and every time I know, and I keep forgetting the purple heart, the bronze, and the, I mean, you know, it's crazy.
Yeah, what's crazy is I keep putting them near these letters that I want to mail, and neither's getting done.
I keep forgetting it, and I, boy, I tell you, is that the only thing that's crazy?
Believe,
yeah, what do you mean?
No, what do you mean?
Just
you know, just asking, yeah, it's the only thing that's crazy.
i don't love i don't care for this guy's attitude
oh wait i'm not having my other pants okay
he spoke on quote interesting and faith-promoting incidents he experienced while overseas hmm so he focused on the lds uh sure uh
around this time he met lee lemon she was a freshman at utah university and she ran utah's largest dance studio great
She had come, and I would imagine at this point, if you're in a dance studio in Salt Lake City, your whole goal is to get on, oh no, I can't remember the name of the show.
No, the one in Utah.
The
L, right?
Yeah,
Leot.
Lawrence.
Lawrence.
Oh.
Right.
What is that one called?
Lawrence Welk.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, man.
Where people would be dancing and he'd be like, a little crotchy.
I mean, I can't recommend enough people go on YouTube and just watch how white people behave back then.
And it's my favorite, my favorite thing of all time was when he goes, and now to dance, it's my favorite Mexican.
And
that's just really great stuff.
Jesus.
And my only.
But it was like, then he saw Soul Train and he was like,
I don't, I don't think.
No.
No, I mean,
no, no, no.
Those things were on at the same time.
Shit.
Wow.
Yes.
They were on at the same time.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can just see the Lawrence Welk audience like, well, I mean, this has been totally taken.
Just another fine thing white people invented and black people stole from them.
Keeps happening.
So she had come.
to the hospital to dance for the recovering soldiers.
Oh, my God.
And it happened to be on Douglas's 23rd birthday.
And when she met him, she said it was love at first sight.
Great.
And Doug was released from the hospital on November 1945.
And in May 1946, he married Lee Lemon in the Salt Lake LDS Temple.
Okay.
She called him Stringy.
He called her funny face.
Fuck me.
I would push, but believe me, in my relationship, I have to push for nickname changes.
You're going with stringy?
Stringy.
No.
That's what I think you should be called now.
No, you leave me.
Stop.
Stop.
I'll send her a message.
Stop.
Stringy, Benji.
It's just a nightmare.
The show has gone on too long.
The nicknames are too much.
There's just too many.
Stringy, take it easy.
Stop.
They honeymooned in South Utah and Las Vegas and then returned to live in Ogden.
Beautiful.
I mean, go further.
Try hard.
Go.
I mean, Jesus Christ, you're from Utah.
Go to the coast.
Go to the coast.
Didn't Joseph Smith had another place in mind at first, right?
It was like Utah was like the plan B.
Wasn't there like then?
I think so.
Well, I think they
did try.
Yeah, I can't remember what it was.
But they were definitely like, God told us to come here.
And then it was like, they're going to kill us.
Utah is okay.
Well, they were in Missouri for a while, and I think that's where the attacks happened on them.
Whatever.
The idea that like God gives you two options and they're Missouri and Utah.
He got a job in radio at KLO, which fit his speaking skills, and he started doing more speaking engagements.
He would always stand using his cane.
He frequently gave talks to the Boy Scouts and other youth groups.
He's able to stand and walk.
He just has a limp or he.
I thought you said the use of his legs were gone.
Yeah, I don't know if he could.
I think he's a good person.
I think he can FDR
pretty, you know, roughly on the canes.
I don't know if he's in a wheelchair
okay gotcha um but I know he's when he speaks he's standing right okay
he's also a very big LDS speaker on March 18th 1946 he gave a speech at a red cross drive and his story had now expanded a bit
The Ogden Examiner called him a, quote, former member of the OSS.
that's the Office of Strategic Services, which was the intelligence agency of the U.S.
during World War II.
He didn't do anything comes to the CIA.
He didn't do anything.
No,
he was at the University of Cincinnati, then he went over to France and then he went to a mine.
He was in Cincinnati for a year.
He went to a mine and then his spine got hurt.
Now he's on the Purple Heart, a couple of stars, and he was part of the OSS.
OS.
Yeah, that's right.
His story seemed to be, it would get more embellished with each speech, kind of.
But that is what happens.
That is what happens.
That's what happens when you're going.
I mean, it's how, I mean, it happens all the time where you go like, wait, it used to be this.
Like, remember when Brian Williams got busted for like that story where he's like, I got shot in the head four times by RPG fire.
And the people are like, Brian, you got off of a helicopter when there was nothing going on.
He's like, in retrospect, in retrospect.
So that's not great because he's getting offered more and more speaking gigs as the story becomes crazier.
Bigger and bigger, right?
After a while, he was saying he had captured Dr.
Otto Hahn, the father of nuclear fission.
I mean, I mean, there's just
there's just no, I mean, it's, it really is, it's such a lesson.
You know what I mean?
It's like a Stanford experiment, but just at a different, where it's just like, what if a guy thinks he could just say anything forever?
And then what if that guy was president?
That's so fucking great.
Now the biggest I actually,
I remember the first time, if you're on the road with him and you're like, well, that's new.
I'll never forget the time that I captured the father of nuclear fission.
Wait, what?
Why haven't
well?
I remember when I stabbed Hitler through his mustache with a katana blade
not too long ago.
Interesting.
I didn't hear about that.
I'll never forget when I was eating Ava Braun's brain with a troop of monkeys in a German jungle.
Why would you do that?
We We had to gain her knowledge to figure out the secrets of the Third Reich.
Why were there monkeys in a German jungle?
Let me tell you that.
Oh, yeah, there's some big ones.
There's forests.
They're jungly, though.
They got a big jungle in there.
I don't agree with that.
Absolutely.
And I went down to Hitler's bunker, and it was basically a rainforest cafe.
I mean, the place was just stocked with leafies.
There was a jaguar.
He had panthers, monkeys, tree rats.
You name it.
He had fish that could walk.
I should have brought my purple heart and I left the goddamn thing on the coffee table next to a book I wanted to give to a friend of mine.
I swear I'd forget my lies if they weren't screwed on properly.
What?
I'll be ahead, head, head.
So here's the problem with the auto
Han line:
Han was caught on April 25th by an armored task force in 1945, and Doug was wounded in November and out of Europe in December of 1944.
Sorry.
I remember when I built a time machine.
That's correct.
You
forget that?
No, no, no, it's a good point.
It's a good point.
That's why I brought back with me a bunch of people from history to help meet Hitler.
Yeah.
I had George Washington.
Remember him?
Big player.
Big player, yes.
Big player.
Mozart.
These women who just wouldn't listen to how I like them to dress.
I had a caveman.
Yeah.
Dinosaurs.
Two velociraptors.
I'm not familiar, but two velociraptors.
And a bunch of other guys.
Eric the Red.
Okay.
Is that a guy?
He was there.
He might have been lying.
I hate liars.
So
his new, so this is just making him more and more popular.
And he runs and becomes president of the Republican League and then runs for county clerk of Weber County.
And when he announced, the paper said he had worked for three years in the OSS
because that's what they said in their little sure.
Yeah.
He lost, though, because that year was a Democratic democratic romp and in late 1947 he and lee went to northern california to be mormon missionaries okay
those are the if you don't know what that is uh those are people who ride around in uh on sometimes bikes and walk around and they have uh white shirts and everybody ignores them a little elder sign on their chest uh-huh He continued to make speeches to churches while there.
He told the San Joaquin Valley LDS Church he was just one of 200 students picked by the OSS and discussed his rigorous training and said he and other OSS were sent to Marseilles to clean up the black market.
Quote, when the group was sent behind German lines, flown in 17 bombers, they dropped us under black parachutes over Nuremberg.
While the nearby American artillery opened up a heavy barrage to distract the attention of the German forces, members of the group seized a key radio station and announcers who spoke fluent German broadcast messages designed to demoralize and confuse the Germans on the eve of the attack.
Later, OSS operatives seized a leading German scientist whose name Stringfellow could not reveal even now, but who was a leading atomic fission specialist.
Fuck me, dude.
That is.
Well, first of all, can we just commend the creativity?
Because it's really good bullshit.
It is really good bullshit.
It looks like good.
But it's also so funny to imagine them just like breaking into a German radio station just like ichtin beindunde.
Oh, I don't know that
but it's also like hilarious because like
it's like it's like the one thing you wouldn't take because if you took it strategically it's not I mean aside from just blowing it up and making it non-functionary, but but taking it over and then talking to German troops like now you've just made yourself an incredible target.
What do you mean?
Like, in the lie?
Well, because you're going behind enemy lines and you're taking over a radio station.
Well, then they're just going to know where you are and how to kill you really quick.
And
the idea of like the radio.
I mean, I'm sure that we're listening to the radio, but the idea that all of a sudden you'd be like, what's up, everybody?
It's GJ.
Right.
DJ Klaushausen.
Listen,
answer ones and truths.
Am I the only one who's thinking is that this war is really going bad all of a sudden?
Look, we're going to play some great stuff in a minute.
We got a bunch of accordions and jug music, but I don't know.
Sometimes me wonder if this is even going to work out.
And if I were a troop, I probably would be looking at Zamir thinking, couldn't I have an easier life somewhere else?
It's 11:15.
Weather right now, 55 degrees, demoralized.
Here we go.
He said most of the OSS were captured and tortured for five days in a notorious camp.
And then American forces arrived to rescue them.
As far as his injuries, he said it was from the explosion of a jet propulsion plant near the front lines.
I mean,
fuck me.
Obviously, the greatest part of this story is we know what happened, so we can just enjoy every block that's built.
But holy fuck.
I mean, it's like, what what is Lee must be like, honey?
Well, the article in the Lindsey Gazette notes his wife was there when he made these claims.
She apparently didn't notice his insane changing story.
I never heard of that.
I didn't know that you, I didn't know that you flew through the sun.
How did that happen?
You never told, I didn't tell you that one.
A couple months later in Merced, he said he received a presidential citation.
He's really cooking, dude.
Oh, he's really cooking.
I can't take it out of the trophy room.
Honey, why didn't you ever tell me that when you broke into Hitler's bunker, you hit his nut bag like a speed bag at the gym?
No, I didn't tell you that one of those.
They returned from their mission in the fall of just those two, not the
German stuff.
Sure.
In the fall of 1948, and he went right back to speaking at the LDS churches.
He was now saying he was only one of five of the original 200 OSS members who had survived the war.
So, well, that's good too, because those guys are probably like, wait, what?
I mean, obviously, none of it exists, but
there's limited corroborations.
Yeah, you're sitting there and you're like, wait, am I dead?
Am I a ghost?
Or you're also like, I don't remember that guy.
What did we remember in a jet propulsion explosion?
Was I in like a fake OSS?
Do you guys remember him?
He was now back on the radio at KLO.
And in February 1949, the Ogden Standard Examiner wrote that Doug said he was wounded while escaping from a German prison camp and then spent the next three years unable to leave the hospital.
A few months later, he was describing himself as, quote, one of the cloak and dagger boys under General William.
Who would say that?
I mean, honestly, you know us, we're one of the the cloak and dagger boys.
What are you talking about?
We were the guys who did Fox's magic secrets revealed.
Under General William Donovan's office at Strategic Services during World War II.
I shot out of George Washington's penis when he fucked a flag.
Now he's saying he led 30 men into Germany and they captured a key radio station and they put out on the air key information that led to a successful assault by American forces.
Oh my God.
That's not.
We actually released a hit single called Down with Reich.
We put together a band called
Krauts and the Germies.
I love that the idea that
the American forces needed a guy to go on the radio in Germany to coordinate.
Honestly, like in his little head, he's like,
yeah.
Operation DJ.
Doug now said he was the only man of of the 200 who was alive and not.
Now the rest are dead.
You got to believe me.
That's it.
Everyone else is dead.
That's probably why, because people are like, you should get one of your other OSS guys to come.
God, none of them made it.
For sure.
Yeah.
For sure.
Quote, he returned to America paralyzed from the neck down and still has only partial use of his legs.
He has regained most full use of his arms.
His bullshit has never been better.
Douglas said captured scientists agreed to help make the bomb only if the U.S.
agreed to use it if they were going to lose the war.
So, right, so they so they killed it.
So, his story is they killed it.
The German stipulation is that they're like, only if you promise to use it.
When you're losing, like, you can't use it offensively.
Okay, I thought they were just like, we just want to see the fireworks go.
Which is not what happened at all.
No.
So, at the time, the first bomb was dropped on Hiroshima by mistake.
That's what he said.
Whoopsie.
Hi, did you put, did you let the leaflets rip?
The leaflets?
What are you talking about?
What an insane and terrible claim.
Imagine thinking you can get away with saying that.
And imagine thinking that that in any way,
like that little, whatever you gain from that, which I don't think is much, what it does to the United States.
You can't get anything.
Like, it's so
under patriotic to.
Yeah.
We're accidentally dropping nukes.
it's just that he's trying to be as interesting as he could possibly be but he's just to be like oh you know we actually didn't even mean to bomb nagasaki
you know what i mean
he said that hiroshima was not the original target and that the second bomb had to be dropped
had to be dropped on nagasaki because that was the original target
wait you're only gonna do one
oh my god so he's saying little man and fat boy or whatever where the second one was like uh well now we gotta go yeah well we were gonna hit we were were trying to hit Nagasaki.
We hit the wrong city.
So we're going to do the.
So there we go.
Imagine, like, if there was any.
Have you ever heard of a nuclear mulligan?
So we called it.
Oh, fuck.
I mean, there's nothing about telling that story.
It's so good.
It's just.
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Evan and I one time had a when we first got out here we had a pitch like our first pitch ever and we made a little like whatever we made a little like it was like a sketch we'd made and the guy this guy ended up going to jail uh like two years later for embezzlement and stuff but the guy who gave us five grand to shoot the thing in a meeting was just like
he was like so i gave the boys here 15 grand to make a little something and evan and i were like give us fuck why would he say and he just did it because it made him sound more wealthy.
But we were like, that undercuts everything.
Like, five grand, you're like, oh, it wasn't bad.
15 grand, you're like, these guys are terrible.
Yeah.
And you were like, what is the, who benefits from this lie other than just one person right now, quickly?
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He was also predicting, quote, the next war will be fought between Christian-loving people and God-haters.
Well, they, boy, they, they've wanted that forever.
They really want.
They really want.
It's called manifesting.
Yeah.
He had become a bit of a big deal in Utah and within the LDS and among the patriotic types.
Sure.
Yeah.
Well, of course he is.
Yeah.
I mean,
of course.
He knows this.
He does.
In 1950, he became the chairman of the Americanism Committee of the Ogden Jr.
Chamber of Commerce.
First of all, you guys,
get a fucking life.
Get a fucking...
stop get a fuck
first of all you're already in you're not even in the chamber of commerce you're in the junior chamber of commerce and then on top you're already the most american americans that could be in america you don't need to americanize that can we can we also just talk about this worship a little bit for it it has to stop look You love it here.
That's great.
Stop wearing flags.
Just would you chill the fuck out?
You are in a fucking abusive relationship with a location, and all you keep trying to do is suck its dick.
Stop putting the flags on everything, shouting for freedom all the fucking time.
Like, I understand
you love it here, but you're letting it, you're letting it get away with murder and be run by fucking sick people because they know if they tell you that they love the flag more than anyone else, that will work on your brain.
The idea that you have to walk around with like merch, this fucking country and its goddamn merch, just
hold it to some fucking standard for God's sake, would you?
I gave you the just everything you're doing, just being like, hey, I got a t-shirt with the Constitution on the sleeves.
Good for you.
Good for way to fucking go.
Okay?
At some point, would you sit down and have the hard conversation?
Now I got to look up shirt, Constitution on the sleeves, because I bet that's a thing.
Ask to me.
I remember when I was in a, coming back from Australia one time, and I'd be, you know, whatever.
I was like not excited to head home.
And I saw this guy in a shirt at the airport on my American flight back, and his shirt said, Fuck your feelings.
And I was like, well, I'm excited to go home.
That'll be fun.
That's exciting.
There are definitely shirts with the Constitution on them, but I'm not seeing one with the Constitution on the sleeves.
That might be considered derogatory.
It wouldn't be on the main part.
I mean,
it's just this,
it's really,
you know, it's just, just, can we just wear clothes?
Can we stop bedazzling everything?
No.
Doug's stories were now.
I worry if I go out, people won't think I love America.
Yeah.
Just go out.
Just go buy some shit.
If I see a friend,
if you're out with me and you don't have a flag on your shirt or an army symbol or military symbol of some kind or the Constitution, I think you're a fucking animal.
Oh, shit.
I gotta.
Oh, my God.
Does anyone have a flag I can borrow?
I gotta go inside to buy shoes.
Here, I got a a flag you could drape yourself in.
So his stories are now being repeated by Mormon church leaders, and they're being written into church lessons for young people.
So let me tell you about the time that Doug and Jesus broke into the Nakatomi Towers and saved Bruce Willis.
It's, yeah.
It's bad.
He told the Logan Rotary Club the 200 OSS men were caught and sent to a concentration camp.
Quote, the stench of burned human flesh was almost unbearable.
This guy went to France once.
I mean, this is like if Hilaria Baldwin was in the armed services.
I don't know who that is.
Oh, Dave.
Dave.
Oh, oh, oh.
Dave.
Sweet Dave.
The Spanish lady.
Well, no, she's from Boston.
But she also.
that story and the fact that they have a new reality show is just
the fact that she has gotten away with being on national TV saying that she doesn't remember what a cucumber is called with her fake-ass accent.
Just,
I mean, look, I'm not saying that what Alec Baldwin did on set is not crazy.
Alec Baldwin's a monster.
Alec Baldwin's a monster.
No, no.
He's not a monster.
But he shot someone on set, and that's horrible.
What she's done is worse.
Okay.
She was on the Today Show, just like, how do you say,
kukamba, kukamba?
From Boston.
When they were in their concentration camp and they were tortured, they, quote, prayed as they never prayed before.
So they've never happened.
We've never prayed like that because it didn't happen.
Have you ever hard prayed?
Like really like hard fucking prayed?
Like a normal prayer, but like really go hard.
Really go hard.
Again, I mean, I really
just
even imagine in this hypothetical lie that never was anywhere close to existing what he's comfortable making up, that in a world where Jews are being held because of their religious belief, he sort of campfired and had a prayer powwow.
Come on, guys.
Let's pray that this barbed wire melts.
The German underground created a distraction that allowed the men to escape and flee in a truck.
Just them, though?
None of the other people in the concentration camp?
No, okay.
No, just them.
This speech was titled, What Price Freedom?
Well, it's that grammatically, it's unsound.
So
he is a very good speaker.
So he is in major demand.
He spoke at Rotary Clubs,
Chambers of Commerce, the Qiantus Club, the youth sports meetings, VFWs, many, many LDS events.
And he's now speaking outside of Utah.
He's spreading.
It must be fun.
Yeah.
To just be like, oh,
I just thought of some bullshit.
Yeah.
It's like...
I shot Lincoln.
It's like if you went on the news and just kept saying, we're going to be on Mars in two years and all my cars will be driving without drivers.
In December, it was announced Doug was nominated for a National Americanism Award given out by the Junior Chamber of Commerce.
At the end of the year, he came in third place in a speaking contest, losing only to
General Eisenhower and President Hoover.
Wow.
The contest was called Operation Comeback for vets who came back after being horribly wounded.
In that speech, Doug said he had only been, he'd been in a coma for six weeks.
I think he's still in it.
I mean, really, this is,
you know, again, it's like this guy going around parading himself as the most patriotic when really what he is doing is as, I don't even like fucking throwing that turn, but it's just so against the people that he's trying to charm with his bullshit.
He is doing everything in the opposite direction.
Lying about the patriotism that he espouses his patriotism from his story and just stealing valor like
the most incredible stolen valor.
Yeah, it's insane
in 1951.
Uh, he had about 200 speaking engagements.
He was the keynote speaker at a telephone company convention.
Other speakers there were governors and senators.
After he flew to Tinker Air Force Base to speak, then to Denver to speak at the Crusade for Freedom rally.
He's getting standing ovations
constantly.
I can't hear any more of the names of these functions.
Because you hate America.
He said that at the phone convention, he got a 12-minute standing ovation.
Jesus Christ.
So now he's like Prince.
He won the National Freedom Foundation Award for a speech promoting American ideals.
American ideas.
I mean, it's just.
I don't know.
I don't remember this story.
So I don't know what happens to him at the end, but he better be like drawn and quartered.
This is when McCarthyism is
really hitting.
Perfect strike for him.
Perfect.
So Doug announces he's running for the House of Representatives.
Oh, my God.
Campaign is pretty much just about how awesome of an American hero he is,
which leads to more...
more and more repeating of his amazing feats.
Near the end of the campaign, a Republican activist told Doug that a colonel had traveled to ogden and heard the stories and he apparently served with doug during the war and said he was a phony as was his story and doug reassures the republicans that's not true
i mean
you can't at this point you just have to hope you can die before they get you because this this level of
it is you can't possibly he wouldn't be a dollop yeah but you can't possibly like uh he's yeah i have been lying i mean you go that guy's fucking bullshit
a plane flew into my head
so rumors swirled days before the election that dems would attack his war record sure but it did not happen probably because
it would blow back on them hard yeah it's the same you're in a no-win situation very easy to just be told you hate america yeah i mean the the way you see trump like trump was just like they don't care for america now he's just like they want to blow it up from the inside because they hate you and they hate the flag it's like stop
um yeah it would just be why are you attacking hero etc so republicans sweep the election in a landslide and doug wins and he's now a congressman wow which means more speeches
He also signed a studio deal for the rights to his life story.
Really getting in deep.
Really getting in deep.
Imagine paying for that.
I went to town and would you sign?
Did you get anything?
I got a handful of magic beans.
In February 1954, Doug thought he was going to L.A.
to get an award,
but he suddenly found himself instead on a TV show.
Oh, oh, I kind of remember this.
Because it's a TV show that surprised people.
It was this is your life.
Oh, my God.
So people didn't know.
When they were going to the show, people didn't know.
Someone just tricked them to go.
Right.
Oh, my God.
Oh, the fucking nerves going through him.
He's suddenly on TV.
And let's
pull this up.
Oh, my God.
Oh, right.
I got to go ahead because these idiots are doing a thing.
So, right.
So
3:34.
Oh, Lee was like, I have something to tell you.
You're actually on the show.
This is your life.
Okay, ready?
Yeah.
It went off because I moved the goddamn
this stupid.
I hate it.
Just
I mean, just work.
Just please.
Like, what does it have to be?
When you lift up your phone, does it have to turn on?
Oh, my God.
I did it again.
How about when you try?
How about if you if you know on YouTube now, if you touch the screen, touch it.
This is, this is your life brought to you, as always, by a hazel vision of long light.
Hold on, I'll speed it ahead so I guess the right part.
But if you like, touch it wrong, YouTube's like, oh,
you like that ad?
You're like, nope.
No, I don't.
I really don't.
Okay.
This is it.
Writing to the Moses of the Nazis in the Gestapo building.
Our mission, of course, is to stay so close to them that they couldn't expect us.
And I outcast them on the spot for the second operation.
And he started becoming a great orator and starting to really
fine-tune his speeches.
Working with the British and French to capture a high German official and destroy all installations at that point.
On a split-second schedule, you have a rendezvous with an allied plane that lands in a hayfield to pick up 10 of your men and your famous prisoner.
Now, you, Doug, with four of your men, armed with Tommy guns, form rear guard protection.
The plane is three minutes late, but the mission is accomplished.
He's stuck there with four other military men.
We were off schedule on our split-second plan, and immediately we felt the sharpness of the more banks.
They'd caught up with us.
We were first stripped of all of our clothing, then forced to walk across the street and watch them burn the church to the ground and the persons would come running from the building.
They were shut down and cold clubs.
Okay, so
I have questions.
Well, first of all, the people you heard interjecting are his grandsons today.
Right.
I remember this, yes.
But this is one of the biggest shows on television at the time, if not the biggest.
It's a huge television show.
And the guy who's recounting what happened to him is the host.
Yes, the host is telling is like
prompting him.
The host is like prompting him to say stuff, right?
It's like the setup so the questions will prompt you to talk about what happened.
So
vets are watching this.
The vets who actually captured Otto Hahn are not really into the
Salt Lake.
He should have been on this Isn't Your Life.
That would have been better.
The Salt Lake County Young Democratic Club began an investigation into Doug's war record.
Labor unions and vets organizations quickly got involved.
In June, CBS aired a drama of his war story.
Oh, my God.
Now, not a movie, a drama.
So it must have been like an hour program or something, but it's like, it's not a film.
It's a recreation.
Yeah, recreation sort of thing.
And then right after that airs, a producer buys the rights to his life for a film.
Now, this is your life
say it was totally vetted.
Sure.
His story now included.
His story now included being told by doctors he would never walk again, overcoming that and walking with a cane.
So he runs for office again in 1954.
And so like, I guess a couple months later or something, he says he's running again.
And his opponent now is
Walter Granger, who had run four years before.
And when he ran, he was called a commie and all that shit, right?
So
is McCarthyism still kicking up?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And a quote, dupe of the Kremlin controlled Communist Party.
That's what they called the guy last time.
So now he's running against him.
A paper made up a corruption story about Granger in the last election, but people are like, he should be the guy to run against.
So he does.
So Granger had known for a year
that Doug is lying about his record.
So he'd already known this.
But he's not going to leak it or go public himself because he thought it would backfire.
At one point, well, I think you don't have to say anything publicly.
Yeah, you definitely
leak.
That's what you want to do, but you have to hit him with it.
Someone has to do it.
Yeah.
You could easily go and find the soldiers that he was supposed to have been with, and they would come out and go, what the fuck?
Easily.
That's not hard.
Anyway, at one point, someone asked a Grincher a question about Doug's record at a public meeting, and he declines to discuss it.
The Army Times begins investigating Doug in January after his TV appearance, and then there was a following newspaper series about how awesome he was.
Another unknown news organization investigated him in the summer, but they couldn't find any
documentation to prove Doug's claims are false.
So this is why when anybody in the media reaches out to the Department of Defense, they're stonewalled.
The DOD does not want to offend a sitting congressman because it can hurt their funding.
Oh, my God.
The OSS doesn't exist anymore.
Everyone he worked with died.
Yeah, everyone or was captured.
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
In August, a congressman who was wounded in battle reached out to the Army Times with a tip.
And this is considered the first reliable tip.
The Times began going through all Doug's speeches and any documents.
And they got a letter from Dr.
Hahn saying he had never been kidnapped.
I mean, you've got to be like, a lot of this is not adding up.
I mean, it's supposed to be very difficult for you to be like, I mean, I'm starting to wonder, is he pathological?
This is insane.
And they also quickly realized that Doug had not been in Europe when Han was taken in.
Sure.
So on October 11th, an editor reaches out to Doug,
right?
So it's under a month before the election, and they talked for about 30 minutes.
Quote,
it was an unsatisfactory conversation.
He was evasive, calm, and confident sounding, but unable to produce one
source.
Show me the purple heart to his backstory.
Yeah.
So literally nobody, but I mean, he's kind of crafted that over time that there's nobody who could corroborate because everyone's dead.
The editor agreed to take, quote, any one sentence confirmation from anyone in the CIA who had the OSS files.
Doug asked Eisenhower to release the CIA records to vindicate him.
Knowing that he won't.
He hoped the CIA would say the records were closed forever.
Instead, what they said was that the records didn't exist.
Better.
So Doug called his friends in D.C.,
and then he got them all to call the Army Times editor.
Quote, some accused, some warned, some threatened, most reasoned.
So they're doing the the full court press to save this guy's ass.
The Times published the story on October 14th.
Then the shit really hit the fan at the paper.
They were attacked by many and called it a hurricane.
The Democratic Party bought 10,000 copies and distributed them in Utah.
That's smart.
That's good.
Yeah.
That's that strategy.
That's something I've missed.
They also gave their investigative report on Doug to LDS church president David McKay.
Oh, like he's going to give a fuck.
Well, he calls Doug in for a meeting.
Really?
We need to talk about this.
And Doug's like, it's not true.
This is fucking lies.
I absolutely thought everything's a lie that you did.
No.
But then McKay keeps getting information.
And later that day, he goes,
I need you to come back.
So a second meeting in the same day about how you're fucking lying.
Well, it's latter in the day.
God damn it.
Come on.
And Doug again.
And Doug again.
This is fun.
Hey, Jay Poopy.
Yes.
Poopy, we're having some fun.
And Doug again denied the reports.
He told the press he was going to sue the Army Times and the writer.
I'm going to sue him.
Then Doug was grilled by two fellow Utah Republicans, one who was a senator.
And he finally admits it's false.
Wow.
All of it?
Yeah.
Quote.
See, I wouldn't even do that.
I'd be like, oh, yeah, a couple of them I fudged.
I think, I think the.
He was hurting.
He wanted to.
No, no, I think really the timing is, it's the Otto Hahn thing and
not being there
in Europe is really.
I think he's just, how's he going to deny part of it?
I mean, I would, I don't know.
I guess I would, I, I really,
if, if, I mean, I'm just, I'm trying to be, it's like Madoff.
You know what I mean?
It's like, I guess you don't really have an option, but I would certainly be like, a couple of the things are made up, but most of it's true.
I'd start there.
I think a couple of them got away from me.
So, quote, suddenly I was free.
I wanted to shout it.
I was free.
I wanted to shout it.
It was like a spiritual baptism.
Oh, shut.
Oh, fuck.
You motherfucker.
You absolute fucking motherfucker.
No, no, no.
This is me when he did.
No, no, you fucking don't.
No, you fucking don't.
I felt flushed out.
You fucking piece of shit.
So then LDS leaders are like, you got to come clean.
So he did that night.
He went on TV, KSL, and in a speech, he said his war stories were false as tears streamed down his face.
Dave,
quote, here are the facts.
I never participated in any secret behind-the-lines mission for our government.
I never captured Otto Hahn or any other German physicist.
And when he was done, he sobbed in Lee's arms.
This is when
this is when you put this guy in a vest of bricks and throw him in a lake
you you do not use that's what they did that's what they that's what they that's what the germans did to him this is the problem no they didn't he just admitted that this is the problem sorry the friends you you are not allowed in the same day
to go from a lying war hero to a church redemption story No, I am not going to allow this.
So Gareth Eric's America,
please, for the record, he hates American heroes.
I love it.
I have a Constitution on my sleeves.
The Spokane Chronicle reported both political parties were now mad at the Army times
because they printed the story when they did, and Republicans were upset it was before elections, and Democrats are because they didn't wait for them to drop their own report first so they could be the guys.
I'm sorry, the parliament was reviewing the documents.
Oh, Jesus.
Their report, the Democrats report was a 17-page report detailing all of the lies.
And it was learned the White House had found out about the lying six months before and done nothing.
So Eisenhower knew.
Yeah.
Drugged even lied about going to Ohio State and the University of Cincinnati.
Oh, Jesus.
If he starts doing jumping jacks.
A few days later, he drops out of the election.
Republicans scramble.
They get a new candidate.
And he wins.
You fucking losers.
Doug went back to Ogden and said he hit up an old employer for a job.
Quote, they told me to never set foot in this place again.
Wow, that's nice.
And then someone who ran speaking clubs.
So it's like a dinner club for speeches around the country.
It's called the Knife Knife and Fork Club.
Just like the Cloak and Dagger Boys.
And they asked him if he wanted to speak again.
And in early 1955, this is just months later, he gave his first post-ruined life speech in Detroit's town hall.
And Doug said people started asking him when he was going to go back into politics.
See, this is what is so fucking stupid.
This is what we do this now.
We take
a ghoul
and then we go, hey, go on, big brother.
And then you're like, oh, they're not so bad.
And then you go, okay.
And then they become a figure again.
It's like Nigel Farage.
Like,
these turds deserve to sink.
And instead, because of these little outlets, where because they're a scandalous figure, they're able to kind of have a carve.
It's like cameo.
It's like you, so you just, now you have a little world.
There's a little area where you can exist and you build yourself back up.
And then people are like, I like him.
Well, let's see.
Let's see if that's what happens, Gareth.
Um,
he wasn't doing many speeches, and they didn't pay what they used to.
He got an occasional job, like uh, working for an insurance company between lectures.
The title of the new speech that he was doing is called I Believe,
and it's
excuse me, sir,
excuse me, sir,
sir,
It should be called I Don't Lie Now.
Sir.
Truth Teller.
Doug Street.
I actually think it did happen now.
It was a mix of his personal philosophy, current events, and spiritual stuff.
Quote, it's the same speech I gave before with the elimination of the war story.
It's four seconds.
It's a four second speech.
It's me saying thank you and good night.
He was also giving talks in LDS churches again, though quite a few people were disgusted that he had the ball to show his face in public.
Well, what the actual fuck?
If like I was in church and this guy showed up, I would be like, hey,
what are we doing here?
What's like our thing here?
Because it feels like biblically, no.
Redemption.
Yeah, I know.
That is what it is, but it's like you have to, you have to have some standards.
It's why guys like Russell Brand go over to the church because then they can say, but then I found Jesus.
Oh, yeah.
No, no, no.
Absolutely.
He planned it great.
He really did.
He planned it great.
He built the bunker.
He was like, huh, and then they come out for him.
And then he just goes, oh, God, what did I tell you?
Oh, no, it's more just like, yeah, yeah.
Well, I tell you, I told you they were going to come for me.
When he had a speech in a town, there were a few angry letters that would come in the local paper.
He can't hold the job.
Lee got a job selling dinner china and went back to school and eventually became a psychologist.
And you would just look at the back of it and you're like, this was made in Poughkeepsie.
I believe.
Doug is really trying to make ends meet.
And after a while, he did get back into radio in Salt Lake using an alias, Dawn Douglas.
Lee said she would come home and, quote, he'd be sitting there with tears in his eyes listening to Madame Butterfly.
Oh, my goodness gracious.
Crikey, crikey, crikey, crikey.
We all have our holes.
We all have our dark places.
For me, it's Hamilton.
For me, it's cats.
Oh, my lord, that is wild.
I'm not sure when, but at some point, Lee talked him into moving the family to Mexico to get away from the quote, taunting and humiliation in Utah.
Remember, he has kids.
He's got four kids, I think.
So his kids are just
harassed.
I bet you he just had like an ant farm.
So they moved to Mexico.
He starts painting.
His paintings are actually selling well.
Can we stop with these motherfuckers?
Can we just start to take the hands of these people, please?
So I don't have to look at dog paintings from war criminals anymore.
I'm sure it's all religious paintings.
I'm sure it's all
right.
It's got to be.
Well, you know, you know, George W.
Bush does paintings of the injured from the Iraq war and then is like,
I mean, you're just like,
hey, what are we doing?
What are we at?
I think I painted this guy's limb that I'm responsible for losing Bern Nash.
So
he starts having heart attacks.
So they moved to California, Long Beach.
And he said he was writing a book and had a publisher.
Quote, I was immature and like most, enjoyed a hearty slap on the back.
From there, the story bloomed all out of proportion.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, it bloomed.
It was bloomed.
You are a liar.
You are a liar.
Backpacks aren't the seeds of your fib garden, you piece of money.
Lies are like flowers, and the people were watering his flower.
Oh, my God.
I mean, I'm just giving people what they want to hear, really great stories.
So it sounds like he knew what he was doing, right?
But not according to the book he wrote, which he said he got a $20,000 advance, or maybe he did.
He got a $20,000 advance from Random House to write.
In 2013, three of his grandkids said the family
had his never-before-published book and that it wasn't his fault.
So that thing I played earlier, the kids intersecting,
they're saying
their whole thing is that, well, this isn't his fault.
He wrote that he didn't realize he was telling lies until after he was elected to Congress.
And once he did,
he couldn't admit it because people would think he was crazy.
So he was trapped, Gareth.
He was trapped.
He said when he was in the hospital listening to war stories on the radio, he began imagining himself in battles.
And then they became real to him.
What is, what are we doing?
We just literally,
China kills billionaires.
You just have to, we have to just start picking some people and we just have to do it.
Like the second he starts doing this, you have to be like, look,
we're going to put you on CBS primetime and we are going to kill you.
After the election in 1952, as rumors popped up that he wasn't a warhill, he then did start to doubt himself.
And one night, he was alone on a trip and he decided he needed to see his war records to jog his memory.
The Salt Lake Tribune quote: Later that same night, he woke suddenly shouting, there are no records.
Then he remembered it all, and he realized his time in the OSS was a figment of his imagination.
So, this story of how it's a figment of his imagination is as stupid as the stories he was telling.
It's the same lying shit.
This isn't how it works.
He's lying.
He's got a problem.
It's not a problem.
No, it's not.
No, it's completely not.
But again, he's being enabled by a couple different bumpers around him.
Well,
family, isn't he at this point
just trying to get his family to believe him?
Don't you think that's all he has right now?
This is a man who should not have any mirrors in his house because looking into them is not an option.
Q-Med and Butterfly.
He never sends the book to the publisher.
Instead, he returned the money and put it away in a drawer.
That's what he said.
I'm assuming that he just wrote the book and no one wanted it, and that's what he told his family.
Or that, like, someone read it and they were like, Douglas.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Doug, Douglas.
I'm serious.
You should go back to Mexico, my man.
Like, you need to get the fuck away from you.
So they're living in Long Beach, and at some point, he gets a job in radio.
And Lee stumbled across the book in 1994.
He died in 1990, in 1966 at 44 of a heart attack.
So he dies young.
So she finds the book in 1994.
I mean, clean out your drawers once in a while.
Yeah, honestly.
I mean,
there's supposedly a big cash bonus than one of them.
30 years?
Look through the drawers.
Honestly, what did A ⁇ E come over to do a hoarder's?
Doug wrote that being on the stage during This Is Your Life made him feel physically ill.
Lee wrote a foreword in his book, quote, he literally reimagined a total story sufficiently important to warrant the extent of his injuries.
His ego latched onto the attention this story brought him.
There is.
You are
the only time this happened, sir.
You are a liar.
You are a liar.
Well,
they can't say that you're a liar, so everyone around you has to lie enable and rebuild your lies.
Counterpoint.
No.
I sleepy made it.
No.
What?
It's a technical psychological term.
You sleepy make.
So when you're laying in a bed and you listen to radios, you absorb it and it's called sleepy making.
And then you sleep.
You're a liar.
The story is
live.
You lie.
Well,
I have two brains.
From the book, quote,
without a past to recall, a future to plan and build for, I fled each night to that world of fantasy where time and space did not exist.
I roamed the battlefields of the world, conquering the enemy and restoring peace to a war-torn earth.
Thus, psychologists do not think it's so strange that I awoke one morning consciously remembering my dramatic but imaginary part in a war that was all too real.
I mean, could you say any clearer that you have the mind of a toddler?
But look,
if that okay, let's just take and say that's true.
Then why did the story keep getting crazier and changing?
Yeah,
completely.
It doesn't work.
This lie just is completely.
If you woke up and realize that your life, that you remembered an event and it was a lie, okay, let's give you a pass.
You kept fucking riffing on your lie because it kept making your spotlight bigger.
Yeah.
Yes.
Lee said on the book, we really do just start, we need to castrate the relatives, like the younger generations of these people, we just need to start taking ball bags off of them.
It's going to stop the genetics, and also it sends a message that, like, look, if your grandpa was a pathological liar and you try to reinvent that to redeem him in some way, you will lose your genitals.
This is Lee on the book quote.
I think he definitely believed he had those experiences, but I really don't know how to account for it.
Right, because you know, because you sat there and watched him increase the lie.
He's a fucking liar.
Yeah.
So his three grandkids tried to start a GoFundMe.
It made no fucking money.
They were like, we're going to get his real story out there.
Should be called a GoFundMe.
This, that was in 2013 that they, that, um, the animal.
How about that?
And that's how to GoFundMe to take the genitals of these three grandkids who tried to do that.
It's weird.
How about the genital taking?
At the time, the Salt Lake Tribune wrote up an article mostly backing this new narrative.
Dave, they raised almost nothing, so it's all fine.
So, yeah, like I said, he died in 1966 at 44 years old of a heart attack.
Oh my god.
Sources: history2go, dot utah.gov, Washington Post,
some YouTube stuff,
Deseret.com, the Ogden Standard Examiner, the Salt Lake Tribune, the Lindsay Gazette, the Salt Lake Telegram,
the Deseret News, Associated Depressed, the Evening Star, Time Magazine, and
yeah, that's it.
And it's all like Tribune I said that right.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Good stuff, man.
Good stuff.
I mean, at some point, look, I don't expect it to happen, okay?
And I'm not going to make this a long one, okay?
Let's just get it over with.
But at some point, at some point, we need to start finding a consistent moral compass and punishing those who cross it.
Otherwise, we are going to continue to just
allow lies veiled in our team's jersey to fester, complete, and continue.
And until then, it's just,
we don't deserve things.
This is just crazy.
Do we love the army?
Do we support the veterans?
Then these grandkids need their genitals taken.
Oh, we don't?
Okay, then let's stop fucking saying we do.
We are him, the country.
We are Doug, the nation.
Holy shit.
We are.
We are just
a thousand piles of bullshit in one flag walking around pretending to be the greatest.
And by the way, apparently I've heard this one before.
All right, there you go.
Hey, dollop fans.
I know you love the dollop.
You love listening to the dollop.
Do you want to watch the dollop?
You're like, Gareth, what are you talking about?
By the way, it's not Gary, it's Gareth.
Well, we have partnered with Lakeside Animation, and we are starting to animate some of our episodes.
So, if you want to go watch a five-parter animation, which is actually like a 22-minute episode or 30-minute episode, I can't remember, of the Rube, you can go to Lakeside Animation on YouTube and watch a really awesome animation of The Rube.
It really genuinely kicks ass, and we're very proud of it.
And the more you share it, the more you give it to people, the more you follow Lakeside, all that stuff, the better chance we have of making a lot more of them.
We're already making a second one, so go there and watch The Rube.
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