675 - The South Fork Fishing and Hunting Club Part 1 - Reverse Dollop

Cyber Monday just got smarter with Pura. Get 30% off curated sets and upgrade your home with app-controlled fragrance that looks as good as it smells.

Choose from hundreds of premium scents and diffusers, mix and match your favorites, and set custom schedules right from your phone.

With smart control and premium design, Pura makes every space feel elevated. But hurry, these savings won't last long.
Shop Pura.com now. Your home deserves it, and this deal ends soon.

Let's be honest: parenting is a juggle. Between packed schedules and work, a balanced lunch for you is usually out of the question.
That's where Inspired Go comes in.

They deliver chef-crafted salads and snacks right to your door.

No chopping, no cleanup, no sad leftovers, just fresh, flavorful meals with crisp greens, a rainbow of toppings, and everything you need to feel your best.

Do something for yourself today and order Inspired Go because busy parents deserve better than a granola bar. Get up to $77 off across your first four orders at inspiredgo.com.

Hey, you listening to the dope on the All Things Comedy Network. This is an American History Podcast where each week I,

Dave Anthony, read a story

to

a goober.

Gareth Reynolds has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Normally.

But where's your little iPad? that you read off of or whatever.

Seems strange that you don't have it. Seems like.
I'm mad at it. Seems no.

No, I'm mad at my iPad. No.
Because I bought an iPad. Dave.
I went to the Verizon. Dave's shot.
I said, hey, Dave, can you set up Dave? Can you set up

internet on this? Dave. And they said, what? This only has Wi-Fi, buddy.
Wait, what? I bought an iPad that only has Wi-Fi. I don't even know the difference.
Well, so I can't put it in the middle.

Oh, you can't, you can't. What do you mean? Got a cheap deal.

That's wild. I didn't know they did that anymore.

I mean, that seems like we got some CDs you could pop in and get some hours.

No, Dave, we're in the midst of a reverse doll-up. Oh.

And I'll say it right off the bat. This is going to be two.

Glory be to Jesus. Super weird.
Well, I'm Mormon now. Super weird.

All right. You ready? You want to say anything?

Just keep it chunky. All right.
No key-doki.

I remember when.

We're still on tour, by the way. Oh, yeah.
You know, if you want to get tickets to our shows, this will go up. So we'll still have after this, we'll have

Oklahoma City, and then we'll be in Tulsa. That's Tuesday, Wednesday, and then

Dallas and Houston and Austin. Oh, Austin's sold out, though.
Austin's sold out. So don't go to that.
You can try.

All right. Here we go.
Ready? Three, two, Gareth.

Johnstown, Pennsylvania, 1852.

It's going good so far. So far, I don't know if I believe it.
Yeah.

It is made up. This is about the dam.

What are you talking about?

Well, by the way, I was like, obviously, you're going to know this one.

The Gambria Iron Company was founded and within two decades was the largest iron producer in the United States.

Well, I'm going to ask you to not.

Well, but yeah, that's right. All right.
Don't be there.

Don't be there.

Nope. The demand was mainly to build the Transcontinental Railroad.
When 100,000 pounds of steel were needed to build.

There's a guy back then. They're transitioning their railroad.

It is weird anytime I hear him say trans, like, what is he saying? He's like, transitioning. I can't remember what he was talking about recently, but I'm like, oh, now you're pro-trans.

All right, asshole.

100,000 pounds of steel were needed to build the train from New York to California, and Cambria was ready to help.

The factory was located in Johnstown because of all the coal and the number of waterways, including the Connemar River, which helped with shipping. Great.

I'm proud of your pronunciation.

Time went on, as a due. And by 1881, Cambria was bought by a rich guy, congressman, and fan of the best facial hair in the nation's history or future, the neck beard-only Daniel J.
Morrell.

That's the worst. It's the best one.

It's the best one without question. It's so upsetting.
It's the facial hair mullet.

It's the business on face party on the neck. Yeah.
It's the best.

You can't beat it. It's the worst.

By the way, I will grow one. No, you won't.

Without question. What are you doing on the last day of the podcast? Without question, I will have one.
It's over. And I have good neck coverage, so we're going to be dealing with a turtle.

You have good neck coverage. Yeah.
why not the face part you know what's fucked up there's a clip of me on um pete holmes's podcast and

like it's one of the ones you know a lot of comments and the one that i saw was this guy was like why can't you grow a beard in those spots i was like proud fuck out

it's easy gareth is a burn victim I should say something like so have some well the best was there was a guy who talked shit on me about something I think one of our dollop clips and I clicked on his profile picture and it was just him in a a cave and he had two ponytails.

And he was calling us like betas and I was like, cool double ponytail, alpha. Anyway,

so Daniel J. Morrell had some good and some bad when it came to his labor practices.

Even though Morrell was insanely rich, he was anti-union.

But he wasn't a terrible magnet. He's going together a lot.
He wasn't a terrible magnate by today's abysmal standards.

He paid $1.50 a day, just like Amazon. Wow.

Which the employees appreciated so much that they would dress up in nice clothes when they went to pick up their paychecks, which is cute. Wait.
Go ahead.

On paycheck day, they dressed up for paycheck day? Yeah. They would go get their paychecks.
They dressed like in suits. Because they had to go to the office?

No, because they were like, we respect this wage. I think.

They were like, they were, they were like, they took it seriously. Yeah, but it's better.
It's not. It was.

Whenever I get a check in the mail, I always put on a suit. Open it.
That's how you do it. Don't be weird.

There was around-the-clock work, though, and injuries, obviously. So he built a hospital near the factory.

And anyone injured while working got free care, which is, again, one of those funny things.

Wow.

Wow, you did the thing you should do.

The company also built a library and a night school for the employees. There was a company store, too.
Johnstown was pretty happening, even if the people who inhabited it were quite poor.

It was described by a journalist in 1885 as, quote, new, rough, and busy, with the rush of huge mills and factories and the throb of perpetually passing trains. I don't know if that should be a throb.

Yeah, that's a definite throb. I don't think that's a thumbnail.
Trains, throb,

one sentence. You know what I'm talking about.
But if

you're paying well,

then why are there so many poor people?

That's a crazy.

What? What does that even mean? Sorry. What are you talking about? I mean, he essentially owns the whole town, So if he's paying well, then why are the poor people in the town?

No, I'm saying there were some people who got paid well. So he's done.

And he was so rich. He had so much money of his own.
And that was good for him. Yeah.
He won. He's beating them.
Right. He is a better person.
Yeah. He has all the money.
He has a neckbeard. Yeah.

Imagine going to the barber for a shave.

What? Just the face. I got to look him up.
What's his name? Go ahead. Daniel J.
Morrell. Okay.

Many of the residents could eventually afford modest homes by the nearby kahnama riverbank and uh look dave i'm not gonna lie to you you were kind of highlighting yeah you saw it why would you do that it's awesome right i don't know if awesome's the right it's fully clean face it's it's a clean face and

a neck hair yeah it's awesome it's crazy

who does that awesome people who are winning that's like the best i agree i mean that's insanely good to see i agree it's not good to see It's tough to not have. Yes, exactly.
It's the best.

It is without question. I mean, let me see him again.
It's the worst beard ever. It's just crazy.
It looks like a neck merkin.

It's the best. I mean, it's the best.
Like, how do you talk to someone? Like, how do you take someone like that seriously?

It looks like he's an actor with a fake chin beard and took it off to just have a conversation. It's what an off-hour Santa looks like when he's getting hammered at a bar.

It's a step below limp biscuit.

It's durstean.

It's worse than durstean. It's under durst.
Oh, it is a good underdeck. It's low durst.
It is low durst. We got a low durst.
It's just the neck. It's bush.

It's hot bush. It's some hot neck bush.
He's got a throat beaver. It's like a pubic neck.
It's not

100% neck pubes.

Wow. I'm really upset by this guy, and I don't want him to live through the story.
It's called an under-the-chin coat.

All right. So anyway, like we were saying, there's also some poor people.
Look, sure, there were tramps. And some people, for the most part, were okay with it.

And some people over the tramps got a little weird. Like the one guy who was really freaked out by then and in his diary kept what he called a quote tramp count.

It would read, quote, Wednesday, May 1st, 1889, two tramps. Thursday, May 2nd, two tramps.
And any other descriptions of the tramp? No, just that. Just the number.
It was a numbers.

It was like a tramp census. He's got counting tramps.
Yeah, it's counting tramps. Yeah, that's fair.
That's how some people fall asleep. I count tramps.

And so on. Okay.
Then there were also hunkies. Stamp stamps, I count, too.
Okey-dokie. And then there were hunkies.
Put your hand down.

They were also met with some resistance. That term hunkies was for Hungarians who were now being hired by the mill.

And it seems like all immigrants were called hunkies by the residents. So

good racism combined with your xenophobia. I'm not sure what it means.
It's not the worst of all the racist terms you can use.

I bet if a Hungarian heard that, they'd be able to say that. Yeah.
I would.

What about a Garyan?

Hungarian.

It's a Hungarathian. What about Agarian? Outside of what Morel provided, the town had a solid library, an opera house, and a shitload of churches.

On a happening Saturday night, well, you could go get a lecture at the library or take it some music in the park. Plus, there were the shows.
Oh, Dave.

Oh, Dave, the shows.

Like Zozo, the Magic Queen. Oh, God, love her.
Which brought its own, quote, special scenery car. Yeah.
Or the Johnstown performance of Uncle Tom's Cabin that had actual bloodhounds in the show.

Which don't want to know what they were doing. Yeah, that's absolutely for sure.

Now you're mad, boys. Why are we mad, Dad? It's a plot.
Or another show that had, quote, two topsies, two marks.

Eva and her pony prince, an African mandolin player, and Tinker, the famous trick donkey. Oh my God.
I want to know more about Tinker. That's all I am.
Right?

He definitely passed away from stage beatings. Yeah, I would think so.
But until then, he could play Jin Rummy. Yeah, no, he was

a trick donkey. A trick donkey.

There was even a Roller Rink.

There were also 123. I thought that was weird.
No, that's not weird. That to me sounds...

Also, there were like, it's not, I didn't put it in, but it's like there's Kodak cameras were happening. That feels very...
Kodak, a lot of people were, yeah, Kodak, this is a big Kodak period.

Yeah, it seems early to me.

Because I've run into, I've come across people getting, being given Kodaks a lot around that time. Yeah, it was like a thing.
That must have been fucking incredible. Yeah.
That had to be the greatest.

Yeah. They had to look at that like how like 80-year-olds look at kids with iPhones now.
Yeah, 100%. Yeah, he's looking at taking pictures of everything.

But the truth is, that's how I feel about phones now. I'm like, why are you taking so many photos?

No, you should be the guy be like just remember them in your head yeah that is close to how i feel no i know you're you're becoming more as the world becomes more chaotic you're trying to find ways to control it through whoa

all right get out of my ass cameras get out of my ass and working out get out of my ass eventually working out it'll just snap working out the workouts becoming more extreme and the you don't even know what my workouts are what are you talking about you have no clue what my workouts are we before this podcast we're having a very nice exchange about our workouts.

You fucking asshole. You're such a prick.
There were also 123 saloons. And since it was a steel town, the men got drunk.
Yeah, fuck yeah. On Saturdays, the bars were as busy as they ever were.

And at the end of every weekend, the paper would talk about some, quote, disturbance from Saturday night men who would be locked up for behaving in, quote, frontier fashion. Or having fun.

That's all I heard. Having fun.
I agree.

That's actually what it should be called. Where are you going? I'm going out to do a little frontiering tonight.
Yeah, fun tiering. Fun tiering.
I'm going to go to some frontiering.

Shoot in the street. Yeah.

There also were phones,

around 70 of them. And the Hubert house even had an elevator.
So the thing about there being some phones is there's not enough phones to make it

worthwhile. Yeah, because you have a phone and they're like, no one.
Who am I going to call? Or then you get one and like somebody you don't like gets one and you're like, ah, fuck.

I got to call Ed. I got to call

Hey, hey, hey, hey, it's me. Hey, buddy.
How's your phone? It's good. Look at this.
I'm on the other side of town giving you a call.

We've done this every day for you know where they're still the only two who have these. Yes, I know.
It's unbelievable the way that

the world moves, and it feels like we're just running behind. This is the sad conversation we have every day.
I'll tell you.

How close is your mouth to the

word port, the receiver?

It's like an inch away.

That's what happens.

Because I'll say it sounds perfect.

It sounds just like you're in the room with me. Can you hear the pain? But I know you're not because we're talking on a phone and we're not in the same room.
It's the same conversation.

How's my sound?

It's great. Is it better when I'm

here

or here? It's the same. Hmm.
Hey, can I tell you I could do an impression of Tinker the Trick Donkey with my balls?

Oh!

Hello?

Oh, no.

Oh.

Okay.

And Dave, the Kahnema River was amazing. That's a nice pronunciation.
The Kahnema River was amazing for fishing. There were catfish and pike, which everyone thought was salmon at the time.

Trout, eels, crawfish.

It was just, you shouldn't go fishing too far downstream where the mill was dumping all of its dark black waste.

The Kahnema was huge, Dave.

Huge in the sense that it's a large river physically, or huge in the sense that it was

both. I think both.
Okay. Yeah.

But it was so big that you could fill a lake with the water. So that's exactly what they did.
But that's how rivers work. Come on.
This is a man-made lake. This is different.
All right.

So they dug a lake.

And guess what they called it? The Frank? The The Kahnema Lake. Oh,

that's right. Above Johnstown, they dug this Kahnema Lake in an area known as South Fork.
Now, the idea was

it was there when they needed it in time of droughts. Sure.
Pretty good idea. Yeah.
Something we can both get behind that.

The lake would hold almost 4 million gallons. And with that much water, they needed a strong dam.

And the dam was constructed of mud and clay mounds and layers of small stones and layers of heavy rocks and smashed slate. That doesn't sound good.
The building began in 1840. He said layers.
Layers.

Layers, bro. The building began in 1840 and really went through some shit to get it ready.
Weather was a major factor as the area would get insane rainfalls.

Hence the

filling of the lake.

Exactly right, dude. And the Kahnema.

Yeah.

But regardless, on June 10th, 1852, the dam got completed. Now, any good damsman,

any good damsman will tell you that the thing you need in a good dam, besides a lot of love, is the old sluice pipe. Oh, I love a sluice pipe.
Okay, so you know what a sluice is?

You know what I've been.

Some of the best things you can do for a sluice pipe,

beans,

prunes.

I think we're talking about different stuff. Hold on.
Just greens in general, like a little bit. I don't think we're thinking about

a salad.

Do you... What do you think a sluice pipe is?

It's the thing that your poop comes out of. Okay.
All right.

No.

Sluices. Beg to differ.
Okay.

So just so you know,

America you live here. Sluices.
It's one in which we both live in. Sluices.
Our own sluices. Sluices.

Were drainage pipes. Yes, that's what I'm talking about.
No, and dams.

They were at the base of the dam. So what you do is during a flood or heavy rainfall, you'd open the sluice.

Yep. Dave, it's not what you think it is.

And then the water would slowly drain out. The excess water would slowly drain out, and that would help keep the water levels low so the dam would never crest over the top.

I can't stress this enough, Dave. You do not want that.

You don't want the water over the top of the dam, okay? Yeah, because if it goes over the top, then it starts undermining the structure. It's exactly right.

That's exactly right.

I've had this experience as well. So the South Fork Dam closed the sluice pipes and the lake was filled.
Remember, you want to,

it's good to close them. You want to close.
Okay, you get the water up. Yeah, that's how you get the exact.
See, I don't even feel like the dams work. Yeah, you're fucking on top of this.

So with the lake came more beautiful nature to behold. There already was.
I mean, there were a lot of black bears and there were 20-pound turkeys,

which is a good size.

It all filled out pretty well. Water monster? Water monsters.
There were a bunch of of water monsters in the town. Hey, did you hear about the water monsters?

It's going so well up at the old new lake. You know, they got a sludge creature.

They got a pond. They got a pond.
They don't like the sluicing.

They got an underwater pondman who's banging the sluices. Did you hear? I did not.
He clogged it with his seaweeds. Oh, good lord.

So, so, yeah, and some even found that the lake had healing powers, like Dr. Robert Montgomery Smith Jackson, who wrote about the Iron Springs in his book, The Mountain.
So, there was an early Dr. Oz.

Yeah, well, to that point.

You must remember when we're talking about Smith Jackson that he also would sometimes bartend at a hotel for fun.

And when he was bartending, he would display two jars behind him near some whiskey bottles. In each jar was a preserved human stomach.

One was from a guy who died of natural causes, and the other was from a guy who died of delirium tremors. So just something that...
What are you doing?

Well, what do you think?

What is he doing? I think what he was doing. He used to fucking talk.
No, no. I think what he was doing was he was showing

what happens if you drink. In a bar?

Yeah.

That's bad for business. I might be wrong, but that's what I choose to believe.
Can I get a whiskey?

Well, it depends which stomach you want to die with. Which one you think? Neither? Look at that.
And then one night when he's like in the weeds, there's a lot of people.

He's accidentally pouring like the stomach fluid into it. Hey, you go.
A manhatten. Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, good lord. Hey, a guy comes back up.
Excuse me. I believe there's been a mistake.
Oh, no. I think there's supposed to be a garnish on this glass.

Other than that, it's the finest manhattan I've ever had.

Um, okay.

So, uh, in 1875, Congressman John Riley bought the area,

the dam, South Fork, that whole little zone.

When he bought it, though, the dam was in need of some repairs.

So he did what anybody. Who's in the person? Who had built it first? There was some other guy.
A town or just a private owner. No, it was another private owner.

So the dam was in need of some repairs, and he made the brave decision to ignore that.

But he did make one change what are you doing get out of my camera it's story time no no no move no no no move what are you talking about something else we know go to the dollar patreon if you want to see the snuggles

um

uh

so he the one change he made was he removed and sold uh the sluice pipes at the bottom of the dam oh which is smart no well i mean kind of i i've i tried that yeah and uh i think he turned out something else yeah

So in 1880, he sold that area to Benjamin Ruff for a $500 loss. Don't do it to a guy named Ruff.
Ruff was a rich Coke salesman.

I wish that that was the other kind of Coke. I know.
That's all I kept thinking. Yeah.
Give me that other spelling.

You're just running this. It's just a rich Coke game, guys.

I'm going to get a lake. I'm going to get a lake.
Yeah, I shouldn't get it. Yakin lines on me.
No fucking sluicing. Oh, she's got the sluice pipe.
He's doing blow through it. Jesus Christ, Ruff.

Are you okay? Leave me the fuck alone.

I'm telling you, they're coming for me. Oh, man.

Hand me that sluice.

So

he was a rich Coke salesman and he dabbled in trains. And he would share in the purchase of this area with Henry Clay Frick, who is a prick.

Their plan was to make the area not just a beautiful place to visit, but a beautiful place to visit for the rich. Yeah.

They began to build what would be known as the South Fork Fishing and Hunting Club. Fuck yes.
A private club for the wealthy that could afford. Yeah, this is what Lake should be for.
I agree.

Bench people only. I agree.
And, well, it was a beautiful area.

And, you know, I think one of the things I always, that this show has taught me is that everything's always been totally fucked and bullshit.

And this is just another example where they build up this beautiful private area.

And.

A place you can accidentally kill a date. Well, yeah, and you, yeah, exactly.

I've accidentally driven my babysitter into the Carnimore Lake.

She's not alive because she will no longer perform fellatio upon me. That's how I've determined her passing.
And now I'll just be doing women's legislation forever to make up for it.

Oh, fuck.

Do you think that's what it was? Yeah. Yeah, of course.

So

Ruff rounded up a number of Pittsburgh gentlemen to invest in the club, and their modus operandi was, quote, the protection and propagation of game and game fish and the enforcement of all laws of this state against the unlawful killing or wounding of the same.

No, no, no.

But Ruff was the president of the club. Basically, he's like, we're going to respect this area and like, fucking kill a bunch of stuff.

But the dam still was in need of some repairs when he bought it, as we already established. Aside from replacing the sluices, which, as we've already established, were removed.

Ruff acknowledged that the issues were there, and he was ready to build the dam about 40 feet higher and cut a spill-off at about 20 feet below that.

Now, the spill-off is the place where the excess water would go, say, if there were a flood. Which I'm not saying that.
So, we're getting rid of that? Well, well, that's what he was supposed to do.

But he saw that it was

pretty expensive to do all that. Yeah, you know, it's going to cost money.
He had money. I mean,

you know, he had money, but he decided, you know what, the old dam's actually pretty good.

The reason he had money is because he didn't go around willy-nilly spending money on dams, on safety, yeah, and uh, the empathy for other beings, yeah, humans.

So, um,

so he decided the old dam would work, and uh, he hired uh 50 men to build the dam up with local rock, mud brush, hemlock, hay, pretty much anything they could find.

Even horse shit, if they put a bunch of horse shit in it. I mean, the thing about hay is that it's gonna

eventually disintegrate. It'll be gone.

I don't know.

I think I would counter that if you're using the horse's shit in there, that's binding. The Great Wall of China is pretty much hay and horse poop.
Don't start with me. It is.

It is. You always come up with these weird shit.
It is.

Yeah, well, but, buddy, that's why I've I've got that show on vice. Shit facts.

By the way, when are we airing? And I'm looking at the camera. When are we airing?

So at this time, the dam was 72 feet high and 931 feet wide. And so they didn't put the new sluices in.
No sluices. So the dam has no sluices.
Built it up higher. Built it up a little bit.

Kind of reinforced it a little bit. It doesn't seem like great.
So there's no...

I mean, there's no... so if if it floods it's gonna go over there's no way to really really if it floods if it floods it's not it's gonna flood because no no no

no it actually doesn't because nature no no no it doesn't no

uh hey let me ask you something how many trains are you a part of

which kind oh i guess none so maybe you should shut the fuck up let this guy cook Okay, are we talking about human centipede train? Yeah. Or like a

human. Yeah.
Like a human? by the way we should you me and luke should do a human centipede for halloween probably it's time

so uh 18 uh 1880 to 1885 um the club uh continued construction um they made 16 cottages along the kahnama river for fucking and uh it's a fuck place it's a fuck shit if rich guys are creating a little club in the woods it's for fucking like when you see the people you are kind of like this is all i mean i've seen the neckbeard no no no, no, that's that's the only good guy in this.

It's not a good guy.

He's the only good guy.

He made, they made 16 cottages along the Konama River, and while they looked like dollhouses with Victorian architecture, they were actually insane inside, calling them a cottage is understating it.

Each one had fireplaces, kitchens, dining rooms. They built an exclusive clubhouse and cubhouse into a hotel with 47 rooms and a grand dining room that sat 150 members.

There were hammocks under the trees. The club also provided 50 rowboats, canoes, sailboats, even a steam yacht.
They had a regatta for Christ's sake. I mean, this place is awesome.
Keep the poors

out of it. Yeah, you should.
Well, no, I think you should be able to bring up a pour and then

hunt them. I agree.
That's the only reason to do it. Yeah, yeah.
It's just so...

You know what I would love to do is get a pour from down there in Jonestone and put some beef on a string connected to a hat and just see how far they run.

Once they're tuckered out, we can go over there, beat them with clubs, get the Bloodhounds from Uncle Todd's campaign performance, which I saw, which was great, by the way.

And have the Bloodhounds take part of it and make it a whole thing. By the way, I have a bear now.
Oh, my God.

A fucking awesome flu. That's great.

Good for you.

You've never really seen. Bang a line with the sluice.
Until you've seen a bear tear a pour apart, it's just, you really haven't lit.

I love the. It's just great to watch.
From a balcony. Yep.

So here's the thing, Dave. Rough saw the dam as also a great walking path

to and from the club.

But an issue emerged with the dam walking path.

Because it's.

Well, you could only have

a cruising spot? No.

Also cool. You could only have one carriage cross it at a time.
Because it's too thin. It's too thin.
So one way or what happened? So you would have to, you did.

Well, so yeah, yeah, well, that was not possible. So you'd have to have a carriage wait.
So, how are you having a wait? Like, a guy signals, like, what are you doing? I don't even know.

I mean, I don't have the answer, but I would assume they did the thing when you're on a one-lane street, you know, going each way, and there's some guy standing there with a stop sign.

Yeah, and he holds it. How does he know the other that there's a carriage at the other side? The telephones.

Oh, I have phone. He would call him.
He'd be like, Hey, hey, birdie. How's it going down there? You got a carriage? We got a carriage coming through.
Didn't you get my last call?

boy it sounds like we're in the same room oh my god

um the what the best part is we're at a hotel right now um

so what are these rich people to do dave wait for a carriage you i mean you pointed it out it's a construction it's a flaw so they wanted to widen it yeah

uh to make it so that two carries exactly like a road exactly

um and in order to do that they had to lower the dam a little bit yeah which seems strange to some

you know, because the whole point of the dam is to not have water go over it. And if the water crests above it, the dam breaks.
It's also about driving your carriages around. I agree.
I agree.

Some things are twofers. So lowering would make it easier for the water to crest.

But what do we know? We're just a couple of Yahoos who are being paranoid.

So they widened it. And they lowered it, and they had carriage freedom.
There you go. And just beautiful.

People going to and fro. Well, thank you.
This was a great story. Well, here's the thing, though.

Some of the people in Johnstown thought it looked a little dicey. Among them, Morell, who would tell Ruff how he felt.
Now, the more you read about it, the more it seems like

Morell was not necessarily concerned about the safety of the people of Johnstown as much as the safety of his workers and his mills.

But he wanted to make sure the dam was okay.

But Ruff

wasn't really listening to that because he was focused on the main concern, which was the fishing.

Now, sure, there were fish in the lake. Did they import fish? Well, he didn't have fuck you fish.

So he ordered 1,000 black bass to stock the lake.

So, and that's a the bass went for about a buck a piece. So it was a lot of money.
He's like, that's like $30,000

in today's bass. Where are you going to get black bass from? Oh, I got it.
Are you asking who he did it it or how you can get some now? Yeah. I can get you a bunch now.
How many do you want? Like 70?

My guy only works in thousand. Oh.
So what if you got six to seven thousand? Yeah, I could do that. And where are you putting them just so I know? So I can tell the guy.

I mean, I haven't probably, I mean, definitely someone will be in the bathtub.

I don't think you know how many, like 7,000 bass a ton. So you just want

70 for a tub is a lot, by the way. I got a lot of like

buckets.

I'm going to. It'd just be around the yard.
I'm going to keep.

I'm going.

I'm going to not link you up with him. No, we got it.
I also have. Yeah, I mean, I got other things I can put him in.
Put what in? The black.

I don't want to hear about the sluice.

So,

so, no, no, no. Stop talking, please.

So,

he wanted to make sure the fish couldn't sneak out, though, right? What is that even fucking? Well, because we got the dam.

We got the dam. Everyone's whining about it.
The sluices are gone. There's no sluices, but there's still, there's, there's like,

there's still areas for the fish to escape. Like, what are we doing? I agree.
You have every right to be that mad that you threw your empty can of soda on a hotel floor. You have every right.

What are we doing? I agree. The fish can just willy-nilly go over the list.
Listen, listen, listen. Okay? It's not what Jesus made dams for.
Stop.

It has dawned on me that this is, this is a story of J-Town, and I don't want to get into it.

So, they installed

fish traps, which are iron screens that were covering the opening of the spillway. Okay, so during higher water times, the screen would be there

to prevent the fish from going through. So that way, none of the fish are escaping.
Yeah, everybody went. There would be a fucking asshole.
Yeah, I agreed.

So, I'm trying to think if there are any other issues.

Oh,

okay.

There was an issue in the middle of the dam because it had broken there before. So there was a sag.
The patch it up, right? There was a sag in the middle, which is.

Did they patch it up? No. No, no.
The center sagged about four feet lower than the rest of the dam.

Meaning that where the dam should have been the highest or the most reinforced, you know, it was actually, it would

receive the most pressure if there was a flood. Well, that sounds like.
Which I'm not saying there would be, but if there were, it would be more prone to break.

It would be a flood, but also that sounds like it's the water's fault.

I completely agree.

Again, I mean,

the little fucking divot in the middle. Yeah, it's a little get over it.
It's a

donkey. Hey, did I tell you the carriages can go both ways? Yeah, okay.
Well, there you go.

So, yeah, so you just didn't want the dam overflowing in the center. That's right.
And the lake was taken from 40 feet to about 60 feet, but it did again. All good.
So

that's a pretty large. That's big.

That's a big difference. It's big.
Yeah. But it's great.
We got a lot of bass.

Fishing has just started. And as I recall.
Fishing is like 10 years in. As I recall, you said they built it with like twigs and

berries and ploop and

string.

Some guy threw a rubber band in it. Yeah.
Things are good.

The dollop is brought to you by

Squarespace. Oh, that wasps all in one platform.
Daddy, I helps you stand out, succeed online. Get you want to succeed? I don't.
Okay, but I get the impulse. Okay, I get it.

It doesn't matter if you're just starting out, you're scaling up, whatever you're doing there, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain.

Showcase your offerings, professional website, grow your brand, get paid all in one place. You can get all in one place.

Let me jump in here. Go.
Hey, if you guys like Squarespace so much, why isn't your dollar page or your personal pages or your sources page Squarespace?

Oh,

go ahead. All of it.
All of it is. We're all in Squarespace because it's the best.
Yep. We did try their other dumb website companies and they sucked.
And we're sticking with Squarespace forever.

Love them. Easy to use, great templates.
It just, they got 24-7 support. You never have to update anything.
I'm dating Squarespace. Yes.
Yeah. And I'm dating you dating Squarespace.
Yes.

We're dating each other. We're in a thing.
I like to watch you.

No, no, stop talking. talking do the ad do the ad do the ad do the ad do the ad open mouth do the ad you can do anything you want you can put up uh videos you can uh get paywalls up

make make some money off your content with your merch sweet sweet merch uh truly stream your workflow it's built-in appointment schedule and email marketing tools all of it yeah so we're all in we've got everything with squarespace yeah and uh the reason is because it's awesome so uh check out squarespace.com slash dollop for a free trial and when you're ready to launch use offer code doll to save 10 off your first purchase of a website or domain.

That's squarespace.com slash dollop for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.

Gareth, we are also brought to you by

Chewy.

I've ordered from Chewy. Chewy makes lots of cheap.

You and I are both huge fans of Chewy. I've ordered tons of stuff from Chewy.
Food, food's the first thing you think of, but but then they have everything else you want. I get a lot of stuff.

I get certain, like, I can't, I'm overwhelmed with how much I love Chewy. We were very excited to be working with Chewie.
We were. That was one of the exciting.

That's a brand that comes on board and you're like, well, I already use Chewy. Very easy to talk about.
Constantly. And it is Chewy, isn't it? Yes.
People don't say that enough.

I don't even know what you mean, but you really just sink your teeth into it.

They got pet prescriptions. You can get pet insurance.
You can telehealth vet visits. And they're even rolling out vet clinics across the country so it's all chewy all the time yeah

um and you can get stuff directly to your door in in one to two days uh not just for dogs or cats they also do birds and fish and reptiles and uh

um so chewy has top tier 24 7 customer service uh get expert advice over chat or phone the day or night uh whatever you need it but if you have a pet it just getting stuff shipped to you makes everything so much easier yeah than driving to a pet store i'll also say

like anytime i've had questions to for chewy yeah those hold times that there's no company that connects with you faster i totally agree do you are you serious no i'm totally yeah i'm like literally like they answer before it rings and i'm like what's going on like i was going what's going on i'm like

was this a trap yeah with me they did they're just like what's going on with larry yeah no i love that too i was just hey i'm like uh this is about that it's just it is they're just the best uh so check out chewy chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy And right now, you can save $20 off your first order and get free shipping by going to chewy.com slash doll.

That's chewy.com slash doll. To save $20 off your first order with free shipping, chewy.com slash dollop.
Minimum purchase required, new customers only, terms and conditions apply.

See site for complete details. Ladies and gentlemen, legendary comedy icon Bill Burr is now streaming on Hulu with his new hularious stand-up special, Bill Burr, Drop Dead Years.

Get Bill's provocative, unfiltered, honest point of view on everything from marriage and parenthood to dating advice and dropping dead.

With his new signature raw wit and sharp commentary, Bill fearlessly pushes boundaries as he navigates the nonsense and weighs in on mental health, social media, and societal norms.

In his first Hulu stand-up comedy special, No Topic is Off Limits with Burr's refreshingly candid take on the chaotic landscape of our world today.

Burr's unique ability to blend deep critique with with laugh-out-loud humor is exactly what makes this one of his most personal and funniest hours yet.

See the new hilarious stamp special, Bill Burr, Drop Dead Years, now streaming on Hulu.

When never thought this would happen actually happens, Serve Pro's got you. If disaster threatens to put production weeks behind schedule, Serve Pro's got you.

When you need precise containment to stay in operation through the unexpected, Serve Pro's got you.

When the aftermath of floods, wildfires, hurricanes, and other forces that are out of your control have you feeling a loss of control, ServePro's got you.

Simply put, whenever or wherever you need help in a hurry, make sure your first call is to the number one name in cleanup and restoration.

Because only ServePro has the scale and expertise to get you back up to speed quicker than you ever thought possible.

So, if fire or water damage ever threatens your home or business, remember to call on the team that's faster to any size disaster at 1-800-SERVPRO or by visiting SurvePro.com.

Serve Pro, like it never even happened.

Imagine losing everything. Your home, your family, your hope.
For millions, that's not a nightmare. It's their reality.
But today, you can change that.

Right now, Islamic Relief USA is on the ground delivering life-saving aid in Gaza, Sudan, Pakistan, and beyond.

Your donation today means food for the hungry, shelter for the displaced, healing for the wounded. Don't wait.
Go to irusa.org and give now. That's irusa.org.
Donate today.

Now, unfortunately, Morell kept talking about it, but nobody listened. Morel even joined the club to explain his worries as a member.
They ignored him. He offered...
Wait, he just joined.

Well, I don't know. I don't.

My guess is that he joined because he was like, fucking, we're rich. This is awesome.

But while he was there, he was also like, dang, this is fucking crazy. I think this is just like a crazy sex getaway, weird old guy, rich guy stuff, right?

No, but well, I bet you there was weird poor. I mean, anywhere where the rich go is weird shit.
It's heck,

you can't. That's like Davos.
I love listening to like people talk about Davos, like regular. Like, well, you know what I heard from Davos? It's like, yeah, guess what?

What?

Like the epicenter of bullshit every year.

Yeah.

Okay, so he was like, I'll do the repairs, I'll oversee it. He was ignored continually.
And in 1880, he sent an engineer to go out there and inspect it.

His engineer was John Fulton, a mining engineer. Great guy.
Great guy,

friend of show, and a geologist who was working for the Cambria Iron Company.

He gave his findings to Morell, and on November 26th, he stated to Morell that he did not think the dam was in great condition.

And even with the repairs that had been made, and he's air quoting, he didn't find that they were done in a, quote, careful and substantial manner or with the care demanded in a large structure of this kind, end quote.

Yeah, but these kind of guys are just like, why do you want to be so negative?

I think the thing is that if you have a cool kick-ass club and someone comes over with a bunch of like,

I got some things you're going to do to your damn. It's like, bro, we're banging bears over here.
Plus, you know, fuck your regulation. Yeah, honestly.
I mean, what are you doing? Well,

a deregulation is

what makes America glad. That's why you have awesome cabins where you can sick bears on poor people.
Yeah. And then cut to today when every bridge has styrofoam in it.
Yeah. So it's good.
It's great.

So Morel handed the report to Ruff, who did reply in a letter.

Quote, we consider his conclusions as to our safe course of no more value than his other assertions. You and your people are in known danger from our enterprise.
Very respectfully, B.F.

Rough President. Or fuck you.
Yeah, fuck you, letter. Go fuck out.
Go fuck yourself.

But morrell pushed back in a letter that said, quote: We do not wish to put any obstruction in the way of your accomplishing your object in the reconstruction of this dam.

But we must protest against the erection

of a dam at that place that will be a perpetual menace to the lives and property of those residing in this upper valley of the Kahnema from its insecure construction.

In my judgment, there should have been provided some means by which the water would be let out of the dam in case of trouble, and I think you will find it necessary to provide an outlet pipe or gate before any engineer could pronounce this job a safe one.

If this dam could be securely reconstructed with safe means of driving off the water in this work as a very desirable one, arrangements could be made to store the water in this reservoir and could be used in time of drought in the mountains.

This company would be willing to cooperate with you. I'm almost done.

This company would be willing to cooperate with you in the work and would contribute liberally towards making the dam absolutely safe. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Dude, enjoy the boats.

We're hunting. We're fishing.
We bring the girls up on weekends. Just shut the fuck up and have a good time.

Is that a good one? And him reading it. What the fuck?

My joke was Rough declined the offer and he just texted back TLDR.

So yeah, so Ruff was totally like, dude, fuck off.

You got a fucking neckbeard. It was a fucking idiot.
You got a neckbeard. Shut up.
I mean, that was a problem like people are just like it is hard

but a lot of people had that no they didn't

are you sure yes that's not a style no there was others horace greeley i've we've done this on the show before have we yeah i've i've commented on my passion for horace greeley this is the best one of all time look at that uh yeah look at that but that looks like a collar the dave

Look at this man. I see it.

Do you? Yeah. Look at this man.
But you know what? It's off-center. But that one's...
Horace Greens is better because it's bigger.

Beryl's just looks like

a layer of hair underneath. It doesn't look like a.

His is weird. There's no style to it.
It's just like, these are. What do you want him to do? Gel it? I'm not going to throw LA looks into his neckbeard.
Like, do something with it.

I mean, look.

Oh, dude. There's still guys doing it.
Oh, come on. What are we doing? What are we doing?

What are we doing? That's awesome. I've never been.
So everything in this episode episode is coming back right now.

Look at this one. Oh, fuck.

That's like a West Virginia. That's awesome.
Yeah. This guy's as good.
Yeah, it's a good one. It's bad.
It's a terrible thing, and people need to do it. This one kicks out.
Just stop being a person.

At that point, just be like, I'm not. I'm not.
If you want to see these pictures,

you can be in this room right now.

Good drink. Look, where are you going? You're not allowed to do that.
Okay. So, anyways, finally, in 1879, the club was ready and it was opened.

Was it even open this whole time?

No, it was open for some of this time.

But the club was officially opened. It might have been later than that.
Anyway, the membership fee was $800.

That's a lot. And the rules were simple.
No shootings on Sunday, which America should bring back.

Are we tying up people? People shooting. Yeah, yeah.

Public school shootings.

And you can't do that. Nobody's at school.

And if you didn't own a cottage, you were capped out at 14 days per visit. That's fair.
61 who's who names were on the membership roster, among them Andrew Carnegie.

Friend of show.

Every now and then, one of the Johnstown poors would get to visit and would return to tell other people in Johnstown how the rich were living up on the mountain.

It was only 15 miles away, but it seemed like another world. It is.
Now, there had been major floods in the area in 1885,

1887, All right. 1888.
Oh, Jesus. The one in 85, the Stoney Creek River got three feet higher in under an hour.
Oh, God, you're boring me with this. Hey, shit.
Come on. Lock in.

It's just like let people have fun. I'm letting them have fun.
Yeah, but you keep bringing up this stuff that

everybody out. Okay, look.
You want me to be honest? I have a bias. I'm not here to hear fucking shitty stuff.
Listen to the dollop for the fun part. I have a bias.

Get into what they're doing in the cabins. Get into the hunting.
Let's get

in 1887. The first glory hole was installed in the main conference area.
Oh my God, I'm hard.

So in 1889, Dave, the winter was very tough. There were very high levels of snow, which meant melting in the mountains later than usual that year.
Plus, April and May were super rainy.

Yeah, you know what I mean? I'm just telling you what.

So then you got the snow and then the rain. And the rain comes and melts the snow really.
Can you listen to Bill Cosby voice? No. You got the rain and the snow and then the water.

It's probably your best rapist impression. I do a better one.

So many options now. Trump.
Yeah, I know. Trump.
What am I saying? You do better, Trump.

And I love to do it, even when they don't love it.

So

super rainy, and there was a lot more water in the rivers than usual.

And Johnstown was getting hit too. But Dave, Memorial Day in 1889,

there was a break from the weather. And so the people of Johnstown celebrated.

They had a big parade that Friday morning. Reverend H.L.
Wait, wait, wait. Was it a parade for another reason, or did the weather just break and they had a parade?

No, it was from Memorial Day, but they were like, We're not going to be able to do the parade. And then

they were like, get it, let's go. Get it right.

What was weather prediction like back then? Nothing, right? You had the almanac, and then some guy would ride into town and be like, it's raining over there.

That would be it. That's the best.

Oh, shit. But we're going back to that.
Since the

all-weather? Yeah.

That's fucking amazing.

Okay, so Reverend H.L. Chapman said, quote, the morning was delightful.
The city was in the gayest mood with flags and flowers and banners everywhere.

We could see almost everything of interest from our porch. The streets were more crowded than we've ever seen before.
But, Dave, sadly, the parade was short-lived. God damn it.
Yeah. Right? Oh, yeah.

A heavy storm moved in and cut it all short. Like a big storm.
Like big. What are you saying? Like the biggest.

Like

it actually was two storms. And they kind of merged and converged and froze right over that area.

That's a lot. There's a lot.

It was pouring rain. Pouring rain.

And at the South Fork Fishing and Hunting Club, well,

a little worry was sitting in. Oh, really? Yeah, they were starting to get, well, because they're starting to go, huh? This is like hurricane-level rainfall.

Well, that's certainly a concern, but I think they were, some of them were starting to go, uh,

well, we didn't think about this.

This wasn't something that was in the plan.

Oh, at least someone had written a report. Should we get the catamaran? I don't think maybe the steamboat.
Oh, it's just a garden. Yeah.

So, club engineer John Park was woken up by the rain. And when he saw the level of rainfall, he was freaking the fuck out.
The Conama Lake was rising quickly,

hoping that it would just stop, which seemed to be the plan, wasn't working. That's a great idea.
So he and some of the employees went over there to inspect it.

And the water was rising at an alarming level

around an inch every 10 minutes.

So the water had high potential for going over the dam center, where again,

I don't know if you remember. But I think it's fine.
Well, there was a little sag in the middle. But that's what

that doesn't mean. That's what I'm saying.
It just means that more water. I'm telling you what they're saying.
I'm with you. Okay.
Okay. There's no fucking problem.
Yeah.

Everything's fine until it is a. That's right.
And then when it isn't,

blame the sluice. Yeah, then you get sluice problems.

But really, at this point, what could they do? They had no sluices. They had no useful spillover area.

And the only hole that was cut in the dam for drainage was now clogged with debris because someone put a fish crate over it. So.

Well,

how do you keep the fish in? That's exactly the point that I think we're all making.

Thank you.

So, Park went to Colonel Elias J. Unger.
There we go, Colonel. Who was making all the calls that day as he was the current club president? So he's got like six phones and he's picking them up.

And it's all the guy had. Go ahead.
Does this one work? Talk to me, Jimmy. Does it sound like I'm in the room with you? Yeah.
It's all me. Quit picking up each one.
Holy shit, I'm talking to myself.

Hey, it's me again. Hey, this is weird.
I'm talking to myself. Hello, it's me.
I'm the other one. Hey, have you seen your mother?

Listen, we have multiple personalities, and this is the only way we can engage them. My therapist told us to fibble the phone.

So he goes and wakes up Elias J. Unger, who was now the current club president.

I got to tell you the bad news. What? Ruff died.

Oh. B.
F. Ruff died.
He was now dead. dead.
He died in 1887. Why did he die of?

Someone gave him a stomach to drink at a bar, and he drank the whole fucking thing. And you can't have two stomachs and one body.
Yeah, you know what?

You gotta, you gotta, you can't just slam a whole stomach. Yeah.

Take it in part. So, what happened was he drank the stomach that was bad.
Yeah. It replaced his stomach and then he had a bad stomach and he died.

That's like what you, that's what like guys do in fraternities, you know. Stomach chug, stomach, chug, hear it, Duke.

So Elias Unger was extremely out of his element when he saw what was going on. Yeah.
He knew it was, quote, serious, end quote, but he didn't know what to do. They kept telling him.
What can you do?

It's too late. They kept telling Colonel Unger to tear out that

bridge and pull the big iron fish screen out, but Colonel Unger wouldn't do it. Why? Because he was still like, we might lose fish.

He's like, look, I hear you. Did you not hear? I said blackback.
It's really bad. But

imagine if we did that and

we were okay and we lost a bunch of fish. I mean, think about it.
So

with no other option,

what do you think they did?

Left? They attempted to build the damn higher. In the middle of it.
In the middle of a biblical rainfall.

That's a great idea.

It's a great idea. So they basically were like throwing, like, handing down as much earth as they possibly could to heighten the dam.
But how? Well, they're just packing.

I mean, yeah, it's not fucking working. These are like guys picking up dirt.

They were handing it to each other. They were doing the bail the bucket thing.
Yeah, they were doing buckets. They were bailing the bucket with like handing each other earth.

Build up a dam in the middle of a storm.

And they're really just focusing on the middle part that's like, you know, shitty. Old people are so dumb.
Some of these people weren't old. These are like workers helping them.
Sorry, rich people.

Rich people. But I don't even think John Park, he might have been wealthy.
I mean, but he's a good guy. They're just desperate.
Well, and it's all Unger's call.

Like, John Park was like, dude, this is fucking crazy. And he was like, oh, shit.
All you should do is tell everybody

South to get the fuck out. Well.
I don't agree. Build a dam.

Now you build the dam. So they maybe bought themselves a foot in the middle, max.
And now the

foot.

Well, now unfortunately, the water level was like two feet from the top of the dam center. Oh my God.
So Unger made the brave call, and now he's like, let's get the fish screens out of there. Oh.

Yeah. But it was too late.
Has anybody considered firing the

water? That's an interesting point. Listen, water, it's just not.

You're out. You're out.
Dirt, you're in.

Because the screen wouldn't budge.

It was so jammed up with all the debris.

Yeah, you can't move it at that point. Yeah,

it's essentially a wall. Yes.
And it's underwater now so far that it's difficult. So Unger was now officially freaked out.

Why? Well, I think he's like, not fucked up.

So he didn't know what to do. He basically calls it.
He's like, we're done.

So they were all tired. Apparently, right after this, he went home and just fell down.
He's like, I'm the victim. Yeah, well, he tried, and the water's just fucking him.
So, like, I don't blame him.

This water's a hunky. This is clearly the water's fault.
This is hunky water. Yes.
This water's Hungarian.

Sweat. Now we're getting to it.
Oh, I wish we had a pony who could. I wish there was a donkey who could help us right now.

Anyone?

Hello? Magic donkey. Hello.
He's on the phone. Get me the donkey.

So he calls it. So John Park is like, fuck that.
He decides he wants to ride his horse to the telegraph office to alert them ASAP. To a Paul Revere situation.
He Paul Revere's it.

So he got to the office in 10 minutes.

He ran over to the train yard near the telegraph office and he shouted to a crowd that the dam was in a bad spot and quote, take that message to the telegraph office.

And it wasn't.

What's the telegraph office going to do? They're going to send a telegraph to all the cities that are down. Okay.
Yeah.

So, because it wasn't just Johnstown

that was in danger, but there's other cities down the Connemar River. And there's below that is a fucked town.

You're screwed town.

You're all going to die town. And there's a whole bunch of them all the way down.
I don't, it's really, first of all, you don't know how this. By the way, they named it poorly.

You were asked if you were.

We're going to be Fiennesville.

Also gone.

So,

but the thing was, the people were like, who heard it were kind of like, dude, chill. Yeah.
Like, everyone, like, he's shouting about it. But the problem was

there had been this level of,

it's obviously very reminiscent of what we deal with now, where it's like, shit's not fucked till it's fucked. Yeah.

So the Tribune in Johnstown had been writing about this and had been on the side of like, don't worry, like, it's fine.

So now, if you're a newspaper that's been writing on the side of it, now you can't go, oh my God, it's bad. You have to come, you have to be like, yay, man, you know.
Well, you do that.

Then, I mean, that's what they do all the time in our media, where it's like, they don't report on it. And then it happens.
They're like, how did we get here? Yeah. What an unbelievable tragedy.

I was just reading about people saying that today. Yeah.

Not like this. Yeah.
Like that's about what? About Trump and that's stuff. Yeah.
Yeah.

No, I don't mean like well, I always think that's so funny to, I mean, not funny, it's fucking horrible, but like the lead up, how they're all like,

this man should not beat the press. And then, like, you know, a month and a half later, they're like, Trump named a puppet as the Secretary of State.

You know, and you're just like, yeah, dude, this is why like your fucking journalism you were practicing leading up to this was dog shit. You won job.

So,

so like I said, the tribune paper framed this all as largely overblown.

So, with hesitation, eventually, telegraph operator Emma Aaron Field did send the message at 1.52 p.m.

that read, quote, the water is running over the breast of Lake Dam and Center Westside and is becoming dangerous. End quote.

A half hour later, another message was sent, quote, the damage is becoming dangerous and dam may possibly go.

So

the water was cutting holes in the dam more and more.

The pressure was crushing it. The water was cresting at the sagging center of it all.
And then at 3:10 p.m.,

when you say a time,

it's really bad. What?

It just, any

dollop, when you say an exact time.

You mean it's not me, whatever you know, the exact time. Never good.

Never good.

You ain't wrong, dog.

At least it's not 3.10 a.m.

No, it's not. It's not 3.10 a.m.
But it is 3.10 p.m.

With John Park, Colonel Unger, and a number of other members of the South Fork Fishing and Hunting Club standing by watching. I guarantee one of them had a pipe in his mouth.

No, he was like, this thing won't light.

It keeps going up. Well, somebody get me a light that works in the rain.
Jebedi, please. Not now.
Hold on. How? Oh, I've got an idea.

A flame for cigarettes and pipes and whatnot that works in the rain. Flood.

I mean, look, it's 310 and I can't like this motherfucker.

None of these men better be in a union.

If he comes over, like, while everyone's about to watch the damn break and he doesn't know what's going on, he's like, say, boys, can any of you light this in the rain?

What are y'all staring at, fellas? What's so, what's got your eyeballs

um

so standing by watching all those guys are standing by watching the dam broke

and they said i gotta i gotta say like that's gotta be an amazing thing to see well just from a

from a standpoint of like whole yeah things unfathomable things to watch yes uh well they said it didn't even really look like a break It looked just like one big push. Like a sluice.
Like a sluice.

Like a big sluice. Within 45 minutes, the lake was empty.
The velocity was comparable to that of Niagara River hitting Niagara Falls. That's a lot.

Or in other words, when the South Fork Dam burst, it was like Niagara Falls was running into the valley below and Johnstown for 45 minutes straight.

And

we actually don't know the full levels of rainfall that morning because the weather observer was about to get killed and all of his notes with him. Oh, what a jackass.

But we do know that 16 million tons of water

was about to go down the Kahnema River Valley. Cool.

And that's the end of part one. Oh,

so how are they going to get part two?

I have Carnival's look.

It's a bit like it's over.

I should say.

Nobody died.

It might be the

deadliest dollop because I feel like you probably wouldn't do this because you're like, Jesus Christ. Let me say that the book where most of this comes from is David McCullough, The Johnstown Flood.

Also, there is

a team

called I Was There, also Uncle Tom's Cabin.

We'll post the links to a couple other YouTube videos, but

not good. Not good.

Crazy. And

reminds me so much of just what we're watching now with our climate and shit, where you're just like, cool, all right, sweet.

Rich people cutting corners never works. Yeah, never works.
And

they,

what do they get you? They get you fucking...

And

when you actually have elevation, like that's some,

to some extent, we will have a version of, like, it's like they've self-moded themselves in these environments. Like, Mark Zuckerberg has an island where no one can get to.
Like these advantages of

where you are

as far as like damage. I mean, they just kind of, they make these little forts for themselves because they're like, well, we're full of shit.
Everyone's going to die. Oh, I can get to it.
Zuckerberg.

That would be a great movie.

Yeah, it would be. Get the Zuckerbergs call it.

That would be so amazing. Like, you should be able to make a movie like that now, even though we all know that the reaction would be like, you can't do that.

Why? And no one would want to pay for it to make, but so many people would love it.

It would be so great. And it would just be like, it would be cathartic for so many people.
I think the,

even if right now, people are like, dude, in five, ten years, people would be like, this is the best movie.

It's like when you watch George Carl, like George Carlin at the time, you're like, this guy's awesome. Like, now people are just like, what the fuck?

How did he know everything? It was just like, he's just fucking pissed. Yeah.
Um, well, there you go. So, part two.

Well, soon. Everybody loses.
Um, not necessarily the rich guy. By the way, I wonder if the trick pony made it.

I don't know that information. I'll try to find out.

Donk?

Oh my god. Was that a trick donkey? No, it's a trick.
That was a trick question. Oh, it was a trick.
Uh, trick donkey. Okay, right.

Trick ass.

Have you heard trick ass's new album? This episode's over.

All right, great.

What could be better than seeing Gareth Reynolds do stand-up? Go to GarethReynolds.com for tickets and information. I will be in Omaha on November 28th and 29th.

I will be in Vancouver, British Columbia on December 2nd, Seattle, Washington, December 3rd, Eugene, Oregon, December 4th. Then I will also be in Kansas City, Missouri, doing a makeup show.

Come on, everybody. Shake off the new year, January 2nd, January 3rd.
And just announced I will be back in Portland, Oregon at Helium Comedy Club on February 6th and February 7th.

That's going to be a five-show weekend over two nights. So go to GarethReynolds.com for tickets and information.
Join me.

I'm Martha Stewart, and I believe the best gifts are not only beautiful, but useful every single day. And Lenox has brought timeless beauty and lasting quality to our tables for generations.

And their Lenox Spice Village is the perfect holiday gift for someone you love or for yourself.

Spice Village transforms everyday spices into inspired memories filled with warmth and joy all year long.

Give a gift that lasts beyond the holidays. Discover the collection at lenox.com/slash spice village.