E879 Going Deeper with Carl Radke

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You save. uh all right everybody this is a really nice set guys thanks buddy looks great it's funny like what you think it's gonna look like what do you think it was gonna what did you think it looked like you have no idea like you'd like push this and it'd fall down yeah i don't know like maybe higher ceilings or yeah i wish they were

higher you know i didn't know what to expect like a lot of people say that when they come to like

watch what happens live with andy they're like it's tiny i'm like you know i don't know what

after you go through it you're like i didn't realize how small i mean tv in general like

the first time we went to or first time i got to go like to the david letterman taping i was like

this is it you know you think it's gonna be like he this big auditorium but same with like snl i

Thank you. I got to go to a David Letterman taping.
I was like, is this it? You think it's going to be this big auditorium? Same with SNL. I went to SNL last year as a guest.
It was tiny. I was blown away by how...
They do so much in that little area. The set changes and stuff.
It must be crazy to watch that. How did you get to go to a SNL? I befriended Punky Johnson, who's a former...
She's not on this current season, but she was on last season. And she invited me to her green room one night.
And it was awesome. It was cool.
I feel like in New York, reality TV started to get more respect. You think? I don't know.
You live there. I mean, there are parts of...
Yeah, I think some people after a while, you do maybe get a little respect. But early on, it it's funny there was a group chat of a lot of our mutual friends when we first signed up for summer house and there was one of our guy friends who like roasted the original cast like who signed up for it like about you're like you're idiots why are you guys doing this but over time he's he's coming around yeah well it's funny that we recap vanderpump on our like Valfouse Plus.
And like last two weeks ago, it was Summer House Rules. Yes.
The first episode I was ever on. Well, yeah, sort of.
You look fresh there. You're real fresh.
True story. That first episode, I had come back from a bachelor party in Ibiza.
I almost said Ibiza, but I don't want to get punched just yet. I went on a seven-day bachelor party and I returned and I had 24 hours.
And then that morning I met Kyle at his apartment in Soho and we drove to the Hamptons in my company car for the first day of filming. And he told me in the front seat, he's like, yeah, we're doing something with these girls from LA.
I was like, he told me what Vanderpump roles. I didn't know really what it was.
Did you know you were going there to try to film a reality TV show? I knew something was going to be like, we're going to be followed around. But Kyle was like, we're just going to do what we always do.
Party and have a good time. And they'll follow us around and kind of do what we were normally doing.
So it didn't seem like that disruptive toward regular scheduled programming. Well, Lindsay reminded me when we interviewed her.
Is that because I was like, I'm pretty sure I've met Lindsay, but I don't really remember.

She had a PR career that flourished well before.

I think it was after you guys' first season.

Yeah. And I was, it was right after I was The Bachelor

and I was in New York, I don't know, doing something.

And we had some mutuals and Lindsay was there

and she's like, yeah, I'm on this new show.

I hadn't watched.

I was like, I don't give a fuck.

She's like pitching me this show and I'm like fresh, I like the bachelor so i probably have a big head or something and like fucking seven years later you got how many years now that was like 2017 season nine yeah seven so like seven eight years yeah the first season filmed in the summer of 2016 but it didn't air until 2017 uh that's crazy well welcome carl thank you uh great to have you. Yeah you.
Yeah. It's great to meet you guys in person.
My team and I, we always love to come up with like really, maybe you've seen a couple like sizzles and promos for our shows. Oh yeah, you guys, whoever's on the editing squad is- It takes a village.
Yeah. I mean, Hollywood trailer like- Truly.
The one for, you know the one I'm talking about. Lindsay's? Oh yeah, that was like- that was like i was that was my i don't think my heart raced faster sorry about that sorry about that trauma i get it you guys made a great great show so well uh we were discussing what should carls be you know and leah reminded me that um there you know we've talked about you a couple times yeah uh she reminded me that they're on when west came out that i i suggested that you might be too afraid to come on the show no i initially was like i don't do a ton of these kind of things you don't do any because i always felt like just let the show speak for itself in a way.
I'm happy to do podcasts about mental health or sobriety, like really diving deep there. But sometimes within the show, half of our fights over the last three or four seasons have been because of stuff like this.
And that's where I know in other shows, it's created a lot of conflict. I love doing this stuff.
Don't get me wrong. But I felt like taking a break from it.
I respect anyone who knows how to like have healthy boundaries. And as much as I love doing what we do and as much as we grind to like get people like yourself on the show.
Like I absolutely respect people who like pick and choose their spots. But like you'll see our idea.
But the promo, our idea is to start to sizzle being like, I think Carl's too afraid to come on the show. And this is what we would ask him and blah, blah, blah.
And have you sit down and be like you want to know i love it it's a pretty good idea i love it that being said i mean obviously you saw the lindsey promo did you watch that episode with her i didn't watch it okay good good for your mental health did you hear good boundaries kyle did listen to it and some other kyle listened to it come up some of their close friends and i someone sent me like like a reddit notes he's like someone got a recap yeah i got you you don't have to listen to it. Kyle listened to it.
Some of their close friends. And I, someone sent me like a Reddit notes.
He's like, someone got a recap. Yeah, I got you.
You don't have to listen to it. Spark notes.
It was, you know, there was a lot, it was hard obviously for a lot of different reasons, but I just didn't feel like it would, it wouldn't do me any good to listen to all that. I just let her say her thing.
And I was really firm on just like, but the season speak for itself. Okay.
You know, I didn't,'t we were also advised not to be doing media as well so she wasn't supposed to do the interview lindsey pr so that's hey bless her heart she's really good we appreciated it of course i am kind of shocked that you i feel like most people are the opposite like because you aren't in charge of editing and like what gets out there do you not feel like your story is a little chopped and mixed like you know like i feel like people do like to do podcasts in longer formats because like oh this is where i can people can get to know me and i'm not edited i'm not cut down it's not things shifted around so it's interesting yeah i mean i trust me i like the opportunity to shed more light on more about who i am and kind of the 360 of carl i mean you you get to see, I mean, I feel like I'm quoting every Bravo person. Every episode is only 42 minutes long and there's commercial breaks.
So you only really see eight minutes and 43 seconds of my real life. It is kind of true, but in the last year or two with the whole breakup stuff, I spent a lot of time just trying my best to figure out how do I navigate all this? It's a difficult i didn't want to make it any more challenging than it already was and i felt like it was best just to stay quiet wait until the season airs really try to heal and watch it back and try to like move on from it but yeah i mean trust me if i can get a chance to like clear the air and like there's so many tell my side but i'm also i remind myself too sometimes like it's tough

in this world on bravo you have very women dominated audience sometimes just shutting the fuck up is better and just taking accountability and saying you know what i screwed up i'm gonna go work on myself and just do that i learned from other guys on other bravo shows that don't shut the fuck up and it doesn't help them well i just want to point out to my audience and to anyone listening to this ever since lindsey came on i have been begging whoever your people are i have never spoken to you directly i probably dm'd you a couple times but like i have relentlessly tried to get you on the show so it's not because you have pitched yourself or tried to come on i very much you're doing us a favor i was excited once i had some more time and some time to heal i mean even after filming this past summer it i mean it took me until like june to really like just get my confidence and like my own self in a good place and i finally you know feel like good like i felt like i was telling talk to my mom about coming on to this and i was explaining who he was and his what i know of nick and you know she i think recognized you or was familiar but i just said she's like well why would you want to go on that if you know if maybe you have a bad feeling or i didn't have a bad feeling but i was just saying like i'm nervous maybe and she's like this is a chance to go start a fresh chapter with someone and you have a whole new audience that nick talks to and maybe there's a chance for you to like just show that who you really are in the last the last year. And so I didn't want to build any resentment or anxiety from the past.

I'm trying to work through all that stuff.

Well, that I appreciate that.

And thank your mom for giving you that extra boost to come on the show.

I'm just like, as you talking, I'm, you know, like you said, like you and Lindsay, it's

like reality world timing is so fucking crazy.

It's like we interviewed Lindsay like a year and a half ago. It was right after BravoCon in Vegas.
Okay. So it was November of 2023.
But yes, you know, and so much has happened. And like, you know, Lindsay came on here and like said her truth.
Obviously we heard her point of view. We were, you know, a lot of like, oh my God, I can't believe Carl.
Sorry to laugh. I'm just laughing.
You know, you know like and then i will say though like we did watch the season in full we got to watch it and i don't think i mean usually when i have a pov i'm like yeah i feel good about this but you guys like it was like one episode i was like man i don't know like fuck carl then it was just like i think lindsey really fucked him over here like really didn't know where I stood. I mean, again, I really felt like there were times I was empathizing with you and it was like, maybe Lindsay is just like, I don't know, maybe she just needs, and then sometimes it was like, I don't know, Carl.
Yeah. So it was, I'm glad that we finally have you here because it was, it really was a storyline that seemed to have more than just one side.
It did. And there's always two sides.
I think, you know, someone says it best. There's, you know, there's two sides and then there's the truth.
You know, I, her, her feelings are valid. All of it, her experience is valid and what she, you know, went through and I don't want to undermine that.
But yeah, like I, all I know at the end of the day, I feel like the right decision was made that we should not move forward with the wedding. Now, how it was, unfolded how everything went i mean you could always pick up put that apart but i struggle with some of it just because it was such a difficult summer um in that particular conversation like i didn't set her up with producers like they were already doing pickup filming after we had wrapped that last day and knew we weren't in a good place so we were going to have to talk on camera one way or another but how that conversation actually played out is literally how it played out

like i didn't walk into that wanting to end it but unfortunately that's kind of how it all distilled

out but the falling out of it all from that day was what made it i don't i didn't process at all

like what was going to happen after like you have that conversation and like within an hour of that like like it was on the internet. We had broken up.
I went down the street to a hotel to get some space. I stayed in that hotel that night.
And then the next morning I'd gotten a text from her friends saying, Hey, if you want to stop back and get some things from the apartment, cause I was going to go back and visit my mom in Pittsburgh. I went back to the apartment and there was, I met a producer there to get some stuff.
And as I'm coming out of the apartment, there's paparazzi outside of the house and i was like holy shit and i was going to la guardia and by the time i had gotten to la guardia it was on front page of page six like carl's like running off to the airport and i'm like holy shit like it got really crazy for a period of time i think that's what made it just really unique it felt you know like, it was so public and so out there and not everybody had seen what I, what had gone on all summer. So I'm trying to figure out a way to frame this, the question, because like, again, getting to know you a little bit here, having an opportunity to interview Lindsay.
I mean, listen, opposites do attract a lot, but like in so many ways, you guys could not be further, further apart from people.

Like clearly what must have made your relationship work in a lot of ways was the way that like you did balance each other out. Right.
But like, you know, we've all had our fun with like PR Lindsay and things like that. But I guess my question to you, not to necessarily go back to like the decision to break up with her, how you broke up with her and just the fallout.
But like, you know, you are someone who, and I say this as someone who, who I like to strategize. I, I'm, I can, I think you can be a genuine person and calculated.
Uh, but you seem a lot less calculated than Lindsay. Uh, and Lindsay has a PR background and I couldn't help but wonder in your defense, however, whatever your intentions were when you broke up, like that must have been in the back of your mind you know if i break up with my girlfriend my fiance we are public figures we're on a tv show she's she knows what to do here like she like how do i you know it to me it would make sense that you leaned in a way on the show like that you're just like oh well I'll tell you a lot because like Natalie had an interesting question it's just like it's sense that you leaned in a way on the show like that you're just like oh well i'll because like nally had an interesting question it's just like it's interesting that you relied on the show to tell the story even though the story becomes bravo story and not your story because even even if they wanted to tell the whole story they got commercials it's an only hour episode and was was there a part of you doing it on camera that regardless of your intention and whether you thought it was going to end up that way or whether you plan that but like letting it play out is because like at least lindsey couldn't control that narrative as well as she's usually good at controlling narratives yeah i mean that makes sense it does it does i trust me i wrote statements i had planned that I canceled.
Um, I thought a lot about doing what you're asking, like sharing my side of the story. But I, like I said, it felt to me as a, as a male, like getting in a public platform and trying to like defend myself.
It just didn't feel right. Even though I felt like I did what I think you do is right, which is if it's not right to move forward the wedding, you don't like, i didn't want to be that guy that stood up there and it wasn't right um but i'm telling you when i went into that summer the amount of money we invested in all of it i missed our cancellation for the wedding to get a full refund by seven days i wasn't thinking about canceling anything other than trying to get on the same page with her yeah that's that's a valid statement um because i had i met a lot of money had i been seven days had i been about seven days sooner i would have saved around 150 000 but that wasn't in my brain i was just trying to like land the plane with her that was an excellent point it's hard it's hard to accuse you of being premeditated honestly if i was smart i would have done it two months prior and saved myself a ton of money and pain and misery but i like the thing with me and her i someone asked me even recently do you miss her i was with luke actually we're still very tight luke goes do you miss her at all and i said yeah of course like she brought out a the child in me at times we were very silly we had a lot of funny jokes the history we've had over the years of filming summer house off camera what people don't realize like you spend two and a half hours on the drive from manhattan to the Hamptons pretty much every Friday.
And then on Sunday, the first six or seven seasons, her and I pretty much rode out there and back for the most parts. We built a very strong bond, but I think as you get like into this world, like it's nice to like date someone or be with someone who gets it and knows what it's like and understands all these things.
She also was like, I mean, Lindsay's like a of fun i had a ton of fun with her over the time so i think how it kind of all transpired like us getting together it was almost like it was destined to be like we had spent so much time with each other we had this kind of chemistry you know and i'd gotten sober you know i had about eight nine months under my belt but that was like that pivotal time where i probably should have been like you know i really need to stay like focused on me and not enter into a relationship i was advised by many people in aa and other groups stay sober a year like don't enter a relationship and i did break that rule with her now the argument i made to myself was we're best friends we've known each other forever when you're in love yeah and i don't know it's um i've learned a ton over the last couple years as a result of this whole thing and i i don't have any regret like i'm glad i try to pursue a relationship with her i wish things maybe i wish i could have handled things differently i never wanted to hurt her um but i think you'll see after watching this new season of the show it was kind of wild to see her it made me in a weird way like happy because i saw her happy outside of me she had a really fun summer with the rest of the group people actually said like i wish she was pregnant more often you know like because she was just happier and just in a lighter mood um and her demeanor was for the most part really positive which was nice so less activated lindsey very less activated even funnier we both were you know she had her

non-alcoholic drinks i had mine now we didn't cross pollinate she had her own do you think you will always know your intention going into the day you broke up with her and she'll always have her perception and they'll always be different yeah i think probably some realities will be different um but i think like i said i i lived that summer you know and i one thing i want to remind people that i don't think are fully aware is we had gone into couples therapy about a month after we got engaged the prior summer so we got engaged at the end of august we went into couples therapy about october and it was like we had still had these kind of conflicts in this challenge of communication styles and i'm not kidding like we at one point in our couples therapy did a gotman exam and a gotman exam is each couple takes it individually then the therapist reviews the results and then has meetings with you individually to kind of understand more about the psychological things going on in the relationship and i'm telling you that the alarm was sounded big time when these tests were revealed individually that's like the couple they're all the couple and they can predict with like 98 accuracy to based on how you communicate you know whether you will get divorced or not and there was a lot of things that trickled down from that which were very real in the relationship but were very you know things that we had to really focus on but we went into a couple of therapist's office every week from October, November of that fall to the, basically the time we broke up that you saw. Do you feel like you were just going to go, or do you feel like y'all were actively doing the work? I felt like we were doing the work.
And honestly, there was things that we learned in the room, like certain tools that we would try to implement within a conversation or within an argument to try and either diffuse or create more of like a safe space to have that kind of dialogue we both are emotional people and i think sometimes the world we played in i'll give you an example like kyle went on a an interview and said some stuff that lindsey had said about me and like at home how do you don't have like a babe i wish wish you would have said something different. Like it's what the fuck, you know? And like you get a level of intensity in her and I, as you've seen in previous seasons, have an intensity behind it.
So we weren't communicating as I think healthy adults, but we were trying to use those tools in the room. But I feel like we would go two steps forward and one step back.
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That's Mack Weldon, M-A-C-K-W-E-L-D-O-N.com slash gifting. I think early in the season, there was a lot of frustration from the audience, from Kyle, from a lot of people of what seemed like Lindsay weaponizing your sobriety against you.
Can you add context to that? What's the truth versus what we got to see on Bravo and things like that? I don't know if you were California sober these kind of different terms when it comes to sobriety and things like that. But yeah, it's it was sometimes tough to watch because, you know, here you are doing a lot of work on your sobriety.
You've you've you've had a very front row seat to, you know, your brother and his passing and just a lot of very sensitive issues. So it was very tough at times to see Lindsay coming at you all while consuming alcohol as well.
And like, not that she's not allowed to do that if she's not, you know, but again, if you are in an engagement with someone who clearly, you know, is doing a lot of work, it seemed like she was falling short of supporting you on this journey. And again again almost leveraging it to her advantage if she got caught in a pickle but again hot did is that how it felt that particular moment i wasn't on anything what i'll fully admit is i drank red bull and i'll fuck you up and it had been something that had happened some other situations in our relationship where i drank a fair amount of red bull actually the day before we got engaged i I drank a ton of Red Bull and I actually went to the ER.
I mean, she's told the story. It was on an episode from that season.
That night, I was excited to be there because we're with our group of friends. The more energy you're giving to the program, the better it is.
You got to bring it. And I drank a couple of Red Bulls, was excited, but I wasn't on any drugs.
Now, how I define my sobriety, in my first year, I worked this program, go to AA, worked the steps, fully sober. As I've entered into additional years of my sobriety journey, I started to try and figure out how do I resolve my anxiety and depression? There are ways you can do it naturally, but I didn't want to be prescribed Xanax, which I was in the past and I abused.
I was prescribed Adderall. I abused that.
I used to be prescribed Ambien. So when I got sober, I was like, how do I keep my anxiety levels and my depression in a reasonable place? And I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression.
So I actually started exploring THC, like tincture, taking little droplets in the evening, helping with sleep. I found a medical grade pen.
Now at times, sometimes socially, yeah socially yeah i would take some thc but in those moments i was completely dead sober and i think that's where i was it felt so like strange because i was really sober and she's like having these feelings um but it also like like that moment the cocaine carl thing i mean no one's ever called me that that's a while in the history of The nickname I had, anybody who really knows me, because I had a, I'm a coke addict. I'm an alcoholic.
Like I was a crazy cocaine person. Anybody who knew me, it was crazy Carl.
That was my name. Cocaine Carl was never anything that was uttered.
And that's why it felt so crazy. But I never knew she said that until the show aired.
I'd heard some from after the fact like she said something about cocaine i'm like okay whatever and then the show aired and that's what i watched oh that's interesting but i want to say this and i've been really practicing a lot like lindsey deserves a lot of credit because dating someone who has addiction who has challenges like myself it's very challenging for them and they deserve more grace i think sometimes than they get. It's not easy.
I also didn't know how to communicate all the time what I was needing from my partner to best support me. At one point, Al-Anon was something that was brought up, which I think would have been a really healthy thing for the both of us, but that never was explored.
She never did go to it. I'm not blaming her for that, but I think there could have been some things maybe learned from that element.
But, you know, like she also was very supportive at times. She really knew that I socially was maybe struggling at, you know, certain elements of stuff.
But she always, when I first got sober, was like so helpful in like inviting me places and I could be myself around her. Well, I appreciate you saying that because, well, one, I mean, I've been fortunate enough that I haven't had to, A, personally deal with addiction.
And fortunately, people in my inner circle, I haven't had that much experience with it. But I know enough to know how challenging it can be.
And just like, you know, reality TV in in general what is asked of all of you and couple

that with you trying to be sober stay sober be on the sobriety journey be vulnerable with your

fiance be and you know it's like it's it's not it's a it's a it's not easy well i mean i've i

said this someone asked me i was at tom tom on saturday oh shout out shout out so driving saying

hi to shorts uh it's yeah they had a little little brunch um how's how's time you doing he's good

Thank you. Someone asked me, I was at TomTom on Saturday.
Shout out. Shout out.
Still driving? Saying hi to Schwartz. Yeah, they had a little brunch.
How's Tom, are you doing? He's good. Good.
He seems good. He actually, almost like a weight lifted off his shoulders almost.
Now that the other things have been kind of closed. I think he was, I mean, the amount of cash they were burning and all of it.
But he seems like in a really good place. But someone asked me on Saturday, like, here I am standing at TomTom.
People are ripping shots'm just drinking a mocktail and then people like how do you film summer house with around all these people and i i mean this i wouldn't be on summer house if i did drink because i wouldn't be there i literally would not be there anybody who knows earlier summers the show i drank on the car rides out i was i my famous term was playing through so i go out night in New York City, play through, shower, go to the production car the next morning. I'd have either a brown paper bag of twisted tea or whatever I wanted.
And that's what I did for many summers. When do you think you realized you had an addiction to cocaine and alcohol? Honestly, I didn't want to admit it fully.
a she's a woman she's an executive at one of the companies we work with and she's been very very helpful and supportive of me over the years and you know they knew what was going on they were mic'd up half the time and they could see certain things but i was basically sat down at one point in 2019 18 by executives that were like,'re concerned i was like okay it's my drinking i got it figured out no it wasn't just my drinking but i thought i could just get away with saying it's just my drinking but anybody who knew carl knew that one drink and it was on it was on always but she had at one point said to me carl and i'll never forget it she looked at me and she's like, is it just your drinking? And I started unraveling. Because for the first time, I actually had someone call me out and say, I know it's not just alcohol.
It's Coke. And all the other shit.
As a result, I would take Xanax to kind of come down. I would take Ambien to help sleep.
All the things. But it still wasn't like right away like i'm gonna go to you know get my help i did it in my own you know bullish alpha male way like i'll figure it out i'll you know do this but um yeah i mean it i had a lot of people tell me early on like hey you need to get some help but it wasn't until like this particular adult told me like i know and i'm like oh shit wow but it wasn't still from that point took me another year and a half two years to actually like fall on my knees but it was a rock bottom moment that i had that really rocked i mean that particular summer season five was the covid summer of summer house we were all locked in this house you know and i my mom had gotten remarried and a week later my brother had passed away and i got the phone call while we were filming.
Paige also tells a story like she could hear me crying from bedroom to bedroom. She like woke up at seven in the morning because that's when I got the call and I immediately ran up to Kyle's bedroom to tell him what had happened and everybody really rallied around me that particular summer.
But it was when the summer ended I went back to my old Soho apartment as I would joke it was like my fuck boy pad and i went right back into doing drugs and drinking all the time but i was doing it alone i would drink all day by myself and do cocaine by myself in my apartment and like call people text people say crazy shit just was on this downward spiral but in early in that fall of 2019 i was telling lindsey i need to move out of my soho apartment i need to to get out of here. Maybe that'll help.
She's like, check out my building. And I had been going to her building a fair amount and her building had some availability.
So I actually found an apartment in Lindsay's building that December of 2019 and moved in. And that's what developed our friendship even further.
But I thought at the time, like, it'd be good to be around a friend if I'm going to actually go and like get sober. But, I moved into that apartment and first weekend, I told myself, I'm going to get in this new apartment.
I'm not going to drink or do drugs in it. That lasted a day.
And from that point on, early January of 2021 is when the show was going to be airing soon. And that COVID season, I was going to have to watch the episode of my brother like i just had this horrible anxiety and all this fear and shame because here i am drinking alone doing cocaine alone and people were celebrating me at that time like because i was seemingly doing okay publicly and people were celebrating how i was reacting to my brother's passing and it it was the most i mean talk about what's the term um not fraud but um there's another term drawing a blank on uh uh imposter syndrome imposter syndrome i felt like i always forget that one too because i felt like i was getting like all like there was literally an article i screenshotted it from the sun whatever the uk tabloid oh that's like fans praise car radke for the you know how he's dealing with the passing his brother i'm literally holding a jar of cocaine in my hand reading this and I'm like this is terrible but I kept kind of digging myself deeper because all this fear of my brother's episode that was going to be coming can we talk about your brother sure we're all close yeah I mean he was kind of my older younger he was five years older than me um his birthday would will be tomorrow oh wow he would have been 45 years old.
Wow. No, he was an amazing athlete.
I love sports. I looked up to him.
I'd say, I think for a period of time, he was my hero. He was somebody I was just like admired and wanted to be like until he went kind of a different direction.
And that was around, since we're five years apart, it was around when I was eight or nine years old when I started to see more things at home you know he was drinking getting invites my parents running away there was police activity in our house um i mean he had gotten arrested and the police had been at our home countless times um and i tell i told this story my mom's like oh you're revising history and i'm like this is what i remember but i was having a party at our home and we lived in a small house in Pittsburgh. We weren't poor, but blue collar, worked hard.
And I had a group of friends over and my brother had gotten in some sort of involved in some sort of issue, like a robbery at a convenience store the night before. And we had five cop cars show up to our house on a Saturday afternoon with NFL playoff football on just in January.
And basically the cop knocks at the door. We have a warrant to search to search the house we have to arrest your son so my brother gets arrested in front of all my friends and he's like a teenager he's like 17 i was like 12 wow and my dad i'll never forget he calls some of the friends of mine's parents to come pick up their kids and it's just like that was stuff that happened in high school a lot and most people around our town or friends of mine all knew that my brother had issues but at that point i was like i distanced myself so to answer your question was were we close yes but no like i didn't want to be like him i walked into my high school and everybody's like oh watch out for curtis radke's brother so i made a point very early on i'm going to do the exact opposite of everything he did how did you come to like even start consuming cocaine and some of these other drugs syracuse university um i have a small smile on my face because i i honestly i think it was a crash course in like not only drinking but you know cocaine use and anybody who went to syracuse would say this but um my roommates from college you know I went to I was in Pittsburgh like we didn't I didn't know what coke was really until college but my roommate in college we went to Acapulco and that was the first time I did cocaine was in Acapulco Mexico on one of those spring break trips but it wasn't until really I got back to New York in my later 20s where it was more of like it's definitely more of thing in new york it was a thing and like i joked like you could order a bag quicker than you can get a pizza and it's true i would play that game at night with friends i'd be like you order a pizza i'll order coke and see who gets here first stupid shit i'm not glorifying it trust no no but i mean thanks for opening up about no and i'd say it gave me a confidence i'm a people pleaser when i was growing up for the most part like i was shy some at points even though like i didn't mature as fast as some of my guy friends i was a little more like i don't know i just wasn't like fully filled out so i was a late bloomer so i didn't have confidence all the time to like walk up to girls or i always felt like a little like not fully like confident discovering alcohol and cocaine gave me like this, this other, like my mom jokes, it's like, you're on steroids.
I was different kinds. Um, but it gave me like this confidence to like, to be someone I thought I would be like, or just get out of your head.
And, you know, I have anxiety too. Like I overthink and it's just like, yeah, like that's what it does.
It it just it just kind of lowers those inhibitions you know that have its consequences but some of the positives doing that is just get up get out of your own fucking way sometimes it feels like right totally but new york especially i mean i you'd walk into a bathroom any bathroom for the most part you're not trying to do it that night but someone's doing a key bump at the stall and you're like all right fuck fuck it i appreciate you opening it up because i think it's just one of those things that like again people will talk about getting sober they'll talk about aa a lot and i i'm you know the little bit i know about aa is when you go there you will share some of the stories and some of the shit that happened but i think i feel like publicly that it doesn't get discussed a lot and i think you know as two young parents we have a one-year-old and like life's great right now and like you know she's you know we can take great it's easy to take good care of her you know you just have to be present and give a shit right i'm sure you're aware on some level but like salt lake city mary has opened up about her son's addictions and that's powerful. Yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

I'm curious what you think about that,

but we were talking about it earlier today and I just like,

I give Mary a lot of credit,

you know,

because like you can't,

you don't,

there's no way you can't watch Mary and talk about her son.

That is a woman who loves her son.

You know,

she is a,

she is a present parent,

you know,

and she talks about just how involved she is in her son's life. And yet she't know this was going on and i think part of it is just like talking about the accessibility of these things and talking about the lifestyle that you were leading when shit like happened i think i just feel like it doesn't really get discussed publicly enough where like parents you know anyone listening now just like this shit is out there you don't have to be a kid from the wrong side of the tracks or whatever the fuck it is you know what i'm saying like it's it's it's very easy for anyone to get caught up in shit like this if you don't know what you're looking for and and you can never assume that you or your kids are safe if you know it's so talking about this shit and putting it out there i think brings a lot of awareness that is otherwise not totally and i i applaud mary and her son robert you know for opening up like that i mean it it helps me and like unfortunately with certain topics you know i think it's challenging to discuss some of the addiction stuff publicly um i you know i don't know if people remember this but early in Summer House, I talked about my brother's addiction and it actually caused a huge rift between us because I spoke about it almost making an excuse of why I was acting the way I was acting.
I was like, oh, my brother struggles with drugs at home. He's a heroin addict, making light of it.
And he had seen that. So it's hard to discuss these topics publicly, but I think the more we do, the more it kind of de-stigmatizes it and just lessens like the fear or shame or guilt, because that's a big part of it.
I don't know. I feel like I I'm called in a way to like, you just open up and be really honest.
Cause I'm telling you the amount of people that still aren't really, really honest about cocaine or pills, maybe the drinking is less so, but like, cause it's so socially acceptable. Yeah.
where you have a lot of parents and i it gave me a lot of um grace for my mom and my dad and i think hopefully for parents like yourself as your children get older how challenging it is to support and understand a child or a sibling who struggles with drugs or alcohol it created a massive we He thought my brother's fucked he was an asshole he's a piece of shit no he's sick it's like how do you shift that thinking from this person's horrible they're they're stealing from us they're lying to us they're cheating all these things but it took a lot of work to get onto this side which is he can't help himself there's a small kid in there that's really sick and struggling and it was important to like i seeing stuff like mary and robert like parents do the best they can and sometimes it's not even good enough either you know and it's i have just applaud people for sharing openly um i want to keep sharing openly because i hope it creates others that want to talk openly i know five years ago if i would have thought i would have ever admitted publicly i had a cocaine problem like you would have been crazy. But now it's like, let's go.
There's no point in not owning it. Did you ever, with your brother, I know y'all weren't as close through your teenage years, did you reconnect at any point? Yeah.
So when I graduated from college, I moved to Los Angeles shortly after i graduated from syracuse and i had a credit

card that i'd gotten i had like a limit of fifteen hundred dollars and i loved the party still then

i bought a table in a club in pittsburgh we were balling out it's like a thousand bucks

and my brother had heard through the grapevine that i'd like spent a thousand dollars at the

nightclub and i'd moved to la like a couple days after this and he like lit me up he's like what the fuck is wrong with you you know you're moving to la you're about to start your dream and like you're pissing like so he was giving me tough brother love at that point um and then i joined the show and he originally was really happy for me and so pumped and he watched the show to support me he turns on the show and it's me in the interview chair talking head going yeah my brother's a heroin addict so this is true like you can ask kyle or any of those season lindsey remember this my brother went on facebook at that time and posted and posted this is the drug addict brother that car radke on bravo like he tagged executives on bravo he tagged kyle lindsey the season one cast my brother went on this facebookade. And then sadly, a month later, my grandfather passed and his name's Carl Radke.
I took on the same name. My grandfather was a big center rock of our family and he had passed away.
And I was carrying the casket with my brother for this funeral. And we both were supposed to give eulogies, but he hated me.
We didn't speak to each other and the only time he spoke to me is we were carrying my grandfather's casket and i just tried to like tell him i loved him and i was sorry and that's actually the last time i spoke to him so i still i don't know it's hard um i had an opportunity to talk to him before we filmed season five because he wanted to reach out and connect um but basically my tv show showed what i said about his addiction created a massive divide and the last time i spoke to him for real was actually my grandfather's you know how have you worked through that because that would be you seem you clearly are talking to you as someone who's really done some work and try more to go but sure we all do yeah um but that's a heartbreaking story it's something i've had to i've struggled to live with a little bit because i think a lot of us sometimes when you have a loved one who's struggling how it's really hard to deal with it and i was very selfish i was also in my own addiction and blaming other people and not taking accountability or responsibility but what i learned from that and how we talk about people's challenges or struggles is very important and it's key to like really take a step back and realize like you wouldn't be mad at someone who has cancer or someone who's got a broken leg but for whatever reason on these like this other mental stuff and these addictions like it's really hard for people to like have some grace and understand a lot of times these people aren't they wish they could change too but they don't know how did y'all even find out that he had a heroin addiction i mean i actually used to watch him shoot heroin um we lived in a very small house that we shared it was a you know one floor on the second floor of of our house but it was just one big room on my left side was where i slept and on his side so i didn't realize at the time when i was about 12 i i saw him with needles and stuff and i found needles man so he was doing that shit for a while yeah and that's what's even crazier and i think how i am at peace with it my brother is in a safer place he lived a very hard life and a lot of folks who are in severe heroin addiction my dad used to take him to the methadone clinic and have you ever seen the show on fx um with michael keaton yeah dope sick yeah i i couldn't get i couldn't get through it it's it's very painful to watch some of that because of just that world is very it's upsetting it's very it's just it's it's unbelievable but my dad made the comment to me when he would take him there he's like you don't see any old people there literally 22 year old kids walking out it's method on click you don't see anybody past that he's like you know why i'm like of course so my brother lived well past most people but um the way I look at it now, if I could have

changed and gone back that episode of Summer House and get that call while we're filming,

I would have done that.

But the way I look at it and the way I've turned it over is my brother at his core,

I was told this after he passed, but in rehabs, he would administer Narcan to other people.

He was kind of leading little groups of the younger guys being like, Hey, I'm 44, like still, or whatever, how old he was. He always wanted to help people.
And as a vehicle through me, if I can tell his story and honor myself by getting sober, getting help, like what kind of person am I? If I don't do that after going through something like that? I felt like it was

honoring my family, honoring my

brother, and honoring myself.

I had to really look in the mirror here.

I wouldn't have really done that if my brother had not

had that happen.

But it happening so publicly,

I've had thousands and thousands

and thousands of messages. I'm sure Mary and Robert

have been getting in that kind of accolade

and love. That, to me, was the amount of people that i've touched and my brother touched and help maybe one or two people then i think my brother would say like that that's a plus right like i would do anything to get him back but what's something that you loved about your brother he had an amazing sense of humor um i said this yesterday to someone.
The show Arrested Development,

when it first came out on Fox,

people did not go,

this is amazing.

It got basically canceled after the first season.

My brother used to watch Arrested Development first season.

I just remember him laughing to this show.

I'm like, why is this funny?

It was, but it was before we were ready for it.

He had an amazing sense of humor.

He loved music. To this day day i turn on certain songs and listen to music with them so well thank you for sharing all that i i know it's it's not easy and you know i know the fight uh against addiction is is an ongoing one and that one that you'll never you know fully conquer but Like, how are you doing? And do you feel like you're a pretty comfortable place right now and reduced from risks of, of kind of going back to that? Yeah, definitely.
Um, you know, I think working the program and working steps, hearing other people's stories of strength and hope, as they say, you know, you said something earlier, which kind of like the perception of going to AA is like AA is everybody's got a brown paper bag and they're dirty and haggard looking. And yes, there are folks that are still really struggling and come in like that.
But I was blown away by the other side of this world, which was Goldman Sachs executives, actors you've recognized on major TV shows, successful people, well-to-do individuals who couldn't get out of the way of drugs or alcohol. And hearing that and seeing other people living like that, I was like, oh, I can do that too.
I probably could have gotten sober without it, but staying and then now being social, going out, filming a reality show that there's a lot of drinking. Yeah.
I've learned a lot where now it's just like, it doesn't even phase me because i just know what it's gonna how it's gonna affect me like i you don't drink bleach right like i look at alcohol the same way just it's gonna make me sick and i'm gonna do drugs and i'm probably gonna die that's um well but credit to all you all the work you've done it's trust me i still to answer your question in full like i feel pretty good i'm also still learning you know how to communicate as like a sober person i'm i still have emotions and still get bothered by things and you know there's a lot of work that still goes into staying this way or you know dealing with life as it comes at you because things like i lost my chapstick in the car outside on the way here and i was mad for like 30 seconds and like it's stupid right take a breath it's like it's fucking chapstick who cares but like yeah had i been drunk i probably would have flipped out of the driver and told him like your car sucks how can a chapstick fall through the like the sea so for me it just it creates like instead of like these peaks and valleys that i used to live off of it's now just like a wave you can and the more you're waved like this and something crazy comes up here the better you can deal with it well i mean you know and also people who don't struggle with addiction i mean for me like growing like maturing and getting older as a human being is to like realize like all the shit i don't really need to give a fuck about and i just decided to for whatever reason you know it's just like yeah it's funny how like perspective and some time oh some space from things and how that does help just taking a pause and yeah reflecting on things but yeah i um i don't know i saw in here you went to harvard business school i did a program okay from my it's pretty cool yeah so when i worked at it's called ormco stands for orthodontic research manufacturing company we sold orthodontic supplies and dental supplies and they had a program that you could apply for within staying working there full time but also going to like this digital hardware business school course it's very cool it's really cool no i struggled at it big time oh well i hate school so um it was very hard can we talk about and maybe you'll remember the specifics more than i do because it was a bit ago but the whole like softer lindsey conversation because i think that was a time in which we were less team carl yeah uh i'm glad we can talk about this because i feel some of that was taken out of context to a degree okay yeah can you but can you share your point of view from that time yeah kind of maybe even offer bring people back to that time and what actually i wanted there's a really good quote about this that i found lao zoo he's a philosopher and he's got these really like beautiful quotes about softness um and he says soft is strong and i know this probably doesn't answer your question and i understand why people are where lindsey was coming from in some of like the softer commentary like what she was comparing it's like saying to a man, be more like a man. And I understand and how I maybe delivered that and what I was expressing.
But I think what I struggle with a little bit is Lindsay has all those qualities. Lindsay can be very warm and soft and offering that support.
And that's all I was looking for because she has given that in other instances. But when you're looking for a new career and you're weighing options for a job and you're trying to get the buy-in from your partner went up until that point.
It had been contentious about what I was trying to do with a career and what I was doing next. I was thinking in my head, like I can express what I was needing and hoping that she would understand.
Now, the way it was delivered and how I think it got interpreted was, I mean, derogatory and misogynist for sure, but that wasn't necessarily my intention.

It was more about, you was, I mean, derogatory and misogynist for sure,

but that wasn't necessarily my intention.

It was more about,

you know,

I have anxiety and depression and a lot of times like how I can feel better is

like a hug.

And I know I got torched for asking her for a hug in that particular moment.

I mean,

you know,

but you know,

I will say you mentioned this earlier before,

you know,

women.

Oh,

go ahead.

I was going to read the quote.

What is soft is strong. Water is fluid, soft soft and yielding but water will wear away rock which is rigid and cannot yield as a rule whatever is fluid soft and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard what is soft is strong that's all you were trying to say that's all i was trying to say case closed she had she has those qualities absolutely but job searching and i don't know anybody who's ever tried to find a new job and

their wife doesn't necessarily love what they're trying to do or their partner it's it was hard

well you said you know it was misogynistic i don't think this gets mentioned a lot i'll probably even

get shit for saying this but obviously i'm very grateful for the audience that we have here it's

mostly women i love talking about the same stuff that they love listening and talking about as well

Thank you. shit for saying this but obviously i'm very grateful for the audience that we have here it's mostly women i love talking about the same stuff that they love listening and talking about as well uh you're on a show that's primarily consumed by women and a lot about your show is these interpersonal relationships between men and women and not you know listen as straight white men we we have very little to complain about.
Of course, very privileged, very lucky. Not here to complain, but it's, boy, it's really hard to thread the needle in a relationship fight and men trying to express feelings, period, let alone like frustration or anger or just communicate a need from their partner.
I mean, behind closed doors when Nellie and I are disconnected. You guys don't have, you guys are perfect communicators, right? Perfect.
You know, but like, you know, I don't know. I mean, I'm sure I've said something that like, if the audience was hearing me like, well, that's my time.
You know, it's like a fuck, man. Like, what am I supposed to say, man? I just try to to tell you how i feel and everything that you guys do is on camera for us to break down and dissect and be like what did you fucking say do you ever struggle yes with that i do a little bit but i've again this is the growth in me i hope a little bit is i've tried to take a lot of that and i've been fortunate to be on this for now nine seasons and use a lot of what you were going through stuff in real time.
It's being recorded. And then we are now reliving it later on with a lot more amplification and quality production and all of that.
But as you relive it the second time, for me, I take it as an opportunity to go, okay, that's not how I want to operate or treat someone or communicate. I've tried to take a lot lot of what not unlike how football players watch footage after they play a game to break down tape.
I tried to do that a little bit and use it as a learning lesson. Cause to your point, I don't think a lot of us have audience in our bedrooms.
It's always your opinion and hers. And then the truth, just like we're dealing with in the show.
So now having these other audience members or other people weighing in i hope it's helped me become a better version of myself to a degree but you also just sometimes have to go you know what we've all had you know things we said you know we wish we didn't say or we could have said differently and we all know why we're here we're making hopefully an entertaining thing we're supposed to be living and giving our life and the moment they stop getting mad at what we're saying to each other interpersonally that probably the show's done so i guess it's like yeah you got you kind of sign up for some of it but being a women-dominated audience which i absolutely love like we're we have the best network on tv because the audience that watches bravo like they give a shit they're so engaged they really care they to this day i don't have people come up to me in person never say you're an asshole i've never had that but on social media you do in person i get hugged people coming up to me they're very kind and generous and even the people that i'm sure have an opinion always be like well you know i you made a mistake you're learning because that's why we love that's why we love the show right because like you're only a real asshole if you watch the show in pure judgment and be like you know it's just like what you and the housewives like i couldn't do we i could not do what you guys do i mean yeah i was on the bachelor for a period i don't know if i can do the bachelor it's kind of different yeah but like yeah but yeah that was i got shit for going back a few times you guys keep showing up every season and like you know yeah bachelor has its challenges with boundaries and but like bravo is it's like tell us your shit like you're not allowed to have secrets with robin hood gold you can now enjoy the vip treatments treatments receiving 3% IRA match on retirement contributions. The privileges of the very privilege are no longer exclusive.
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That's not true.

Oh.

I wasn't, I was there, but I didn't, I don't even know who Maria from The Bachelor is. She was there in the different times? I mean, it's reported that the two of you were spotted.
Hand to God, I've never met her. I don't even know what she looks like.
You could hold up four pictures of people right now and I don't i wouldn't sorry maria okay so debunked not spotted with maria okay but you were spotted with jesse from the valley prior i got together with jesse from the valley what i said to jesse because he and his wife are going through a divorce and i didn't know all of some of the nuance to it but he was asking me like dude i went into this that season last year like you know her and I were about to go on a big trip and then everything went

haywire and I'm like well every season I feel like with what we do is the thing you don't want to

talk about is the exact thing they want to talk about and the thing that you go into that season

wanting to promote wanting to push wanting to be they're like screw that and he was telling about

this real estate deal he had done and he was all hyped up about it and he's like yeah I got cut I'm

I don't know. you go into that season wanting to promote, wanting to push, wanting to be, they're like, screw that.
And he was telling me about this real estate deal

he had done and he was all hyped up about it.

And he's like, yeah, I got cut.

I'm like, that's what you wanted on.

What do they want?

They want you and Melissa going through a fucking divorce,

which is the thing you do not want to deal with.

Do you think reality TV breaks relationships?

Kyle Cook says this best.

I think it forces you to have really tough conversations

with that person. And if anything, the ones that stick together, I think are even that much stronger through it.
Look at Heidi and Spencer, Kyle and Amanda still fighting strong. And then, you know, Ken and Lisa Vanderpump, like there's couples who've laid it all out and have been through multiple years of putting it all out there.
It's really hard. I've seen Kyle and Amanda and I've tried to really support them.
But personally between them, it's not easy.

But I think it's really hard i've seen kyle and amanda and i've tried to really support them but inner like personally between them it's not easy but i think it it's hard i think nalien said fuck kyle cook a couple times on this program i think it was like fuck stupid kyle fucking stupid obviously he's your boy he is he is my best friend it was for it was for reason that was it was an edited tv show i've never met him it was not personal it was i wasn't proud of i wasn't proud of kyle and how he you should never call a woman a bitch you should never really flip out of your wife to that degree now there's been a lot between them and i love them both but how you deliver frustration or communication with your wife really does matter and especially when you're on a show and you're screaming or yelling or swearing, that's not good. And I was not happy with him.
And trust me, he's not happy with himself. But I will say Kyle is a really good person.
He knows when he does wrong, he really genuinely feels sorry for it. I think he really does care.
I don't think he's like a, at his core, he's not like a total. I am actually.
No, we do preface, you know, we recap a ton of shows of shows we preface them all by saying like we don't know any of these people and we do reserve the right to be wrong about these people because we're talking about 45 minutes with commercials with all these other people that's edited by people who don't have necessarily your best interest in heart some of them are scenes some of them are bits some of them are you know so it's like we acknowledge that and that I'm sure if I met Kyle, I would have a completely different. Oh yeah.
You'd, you'd love them. I don't know if you're allowed to answer this, but like, I couldn't help but wonder.
I'll try. I'll tell any stories.
It's not like a spoiler, but I'm honestly like, sometimes there was a moment like last season where like Kyle and Amanda, I'm are they trolling us because like their online behavior with the whole jesse solomon stuff that was and even if they were trolling us i'm this like is a guy who's just like happily married maybe i'm just in my honeymoon phase and maybe they're seasoned vets as a married couple but like i would just not lean in to any narratives that had to do with any of us possibly having the hots or wanting to be fucked by someone else. And I was just a bit blown away by what either was them being serious or them like trolling.
I think that's the playfulness of their relationship. You know, at times you'll be with them and they give each other a hard time or there's a lot of inside jokes, but I always, I don pay it too much mind now jesse solomon was commenting on some of amanda's pictures and stuff and i again i i think it was a lot of fun and kind of being silly i love to have fun and i don't feel like i'm there was a there was like a guy but like holy shit jesse solomon no there was something funny me and jesse were playing in a golf outing in the hamptons in may and we it was a lover boy thing that had sponsored it was a charity event and we donated lover boy and it was me and jesse playing and he took a selfie with like the tall lover boy can and he was like oh what should i caption it should i caption it like i love amanda's cans i was like that's funny like not like thinking of it then he posted it oh yeah and it was like yeah that's kind of an aggressive caption.
I love Jesse, but I think he's learning, too, a little bit. Him and Wes definitely had a crash course.
I love the boys. They're a great addition.
It's good to have some more men or more guys in the mix. I think Kyle, we've had other guys like Andre or Luke who've been well-liked and beloved.
But the most part it's i feel like been kyle or i kind of taking turns at the in the hot seat but now

having jesse and west here not only do they bring a lot of fun and younger energy but they also bring

drama and no i want to ask other things to talk about i want to ask you more about them i want

to bring it back to lindsey for a second not just specifically lindsey but another thing i think just

men struggle with especially men in their 30s um and especially at the approach 40 i remember like when i you know got off the bachelor and i i was i you know i had a life and i had a real job and i had a condo in chicago and i was all set and i just had to blow it all up and come to la and then there was like two years of like just me living on an air mattress at my in a room in my buddy's And yeah, I was dating and I was out there, but it's just like, I think a lot of men and they're like middle ages or adult life or thirties or whatever. Like if they don't like feel settled in their career and they really know what they want to do, it is very difficult for them to like really be present in their aspects in their life, specifically dating.
And I dated a lot, but I was never like, and I was like, yeah, I really want to meet someone. And yeah, I really want to settle down.
But the truth was, I was like, until I'm like not sleeping on this air mattress, I'm not getting in a relationship with anyone type of thing until I know what I'm fucking doing. And I don't think there's usually a lot of acknowledgement around that because I think, you know, we watch these shows.
Like, I remember being more like Team Lindsay when she was was being hard on you and like you know I was sitting in a position of like I've you know I'm at a point in my life where I've figured it out and I was probably judging you and criticizing you a little too much but like you know because there was this you know part of your and Lindsay's relationship was like Lindsay like being the supportive fiance which was kind of like figure it the fuck out. And then there were times where it felt like you were being portrayed as this person who just wanted support from his girlfriend, but wasn't willing to do anything.
And every once in a while, you would bring up like, hey, I want to start a t-shirt company. I don't know if that was one of them.
No, that's good though. But I guess, what is the truth? Does that resonate with you at all? And again, what was the truth in terms of your dynamic and versus like how you've been portrayed is this kind of like this more like dreamer, you know, kind of guy in business where like Lindsay's like, I just need a man who has a real job and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And like, and, and kind of that dynamic. Yeah.
I mean, I think most men's egos directly attached to like their occupation or their employment or their career. And I was at a interesting kind of not crossroads, but I had been working with Kyle and Amanda on the lover boy company for about four years.
But Lindsay was also kind of saying and helping me understand, like, this isn't probably your end all be all right, Carl. Like, isn't there something more you want to do? And yes, there are more things I wanted to do, but I did struggle to, this isn't her fault at all.
Like I was trying to really figure out like, what makes sense for me? Like, should I go start another non-alcoholic drink product? No, that doesn't make sense. Should I go do like, it took some time to figure that out.
But I, I mean this, like I, for the first time in my life, I had the ability and opportunity to not do anything and figure out what I wanted to do. Up until season three or four of the show, I worked full-time jobs and had to generate other income.
In early seasons of the show, we weren't getting influencer stuff. It wasn't like that then.
I had to find jobs to just pay my bills and to just do what I needed to do. But then finally, here I am in a relationship and she was supportive.
But I thought, okay, I can take some time and figure this out. And I thought I had that latitude.
But I also think Lindsay absolutely needs a more established guy who is well further along in kind of his level. I mean, I basically got sober in 2021 and I got engaged in 2022 yeah you know it was like a quick turn of events i like i said i'm not i need to take responsibility and accountability like i'm the one who asked her to marry me and i'm the one who pursued that and pushed for that she you know met me in the middle but i should have been a lot more like okay where am i with my career do i need some more time to really get back to baseline with myself i didn't do that because honestly I look around a lot of my friends are married a lot of my friends have kids since my brother had passed like I I've looked at my niece and I see her and I see my brother in her and I want to have children I want to have a family and I think some of that might have been clouded by that I also think when you first get sober you're so dead set on trying to prove everybody that you got it all figured out and you're good and you're back to normal and probably rushed into a relationship that validated those things.
I wish I had made a little more just paused because yeah, I felt like I had it all ready to go and figured out, oh yeah, I got a job. I got this.
No, I didn't. And guess what? Finally, I launched a new company this past year, but we're still like getting it up and running and I haven't generated income from it yet.
So if Lindsay and I had still gotten married, I mean, my career stuff would still be kind of in this interesting position, which probably would have lended itself to a lot more challenges too. Yeah.
I mean, like, listen, the more you talk about you and Lindsay, the more it's just like you guys had a good thing you will be you you played a big part in each other's lives for a period of time but like i mean honestly like not that lindsey like owes you i'm sure you i'm sure you both have things to apologize for each other but like for all of the drama that was you ending that engagement. I got to assume Lindsay like is grateful.
I mean, she said that at reunion. Yeah, I think.
And I've I can feel that from her. I mean, there were some moments we had that you'll see on the new season.
We had some conflict. It'll probably be good TV, but it was almost like we needed to have that.
And I, you know, I still get a lot of therapy. My therapist before the summer started, I was telling her, I'm nervous about filming.
I'm nervous about being there with she's pregnant. I was happy.
I legitimately was happy for her. But I was like, it's a lot to take in.
Kind of weird. A little bit.
And she still has the car that we bought together. But she now has ownership of it.
I pull up to the house and the car I used to take to the dealership to get the tires changed and oil changed. There it is.
It was mentally interesting, but my therapist challenged me. She's like, Carl, this is a chance for you to get real closure and real healing because you're going to see her and you're actually gonna have to face her.
But if you didn't see her or didn't face her, you probably would have built up more anxiety and resentment in your head. But allowed me and i didn't know at the time but like like i want her happy like i really care about lindsey i really do like i know lindsey and i've known her and i see the girl little girl inside that i want to flourish and be happy and i saw that little girl a little bit this summer where she was smiling and really happy it wasn't that negative toxicity that you guys saw the previous year honestly for me you and lindsey feels like such a lifetime ago i feel like that season was forever ago and now obviously knowing that she has carried a baby given birth to a baby has a newborn i know what just like longevity what that feels like how did you find out she was pregnant did you find out like on social media or through the social media world um i mean there was rumors popping all over the place um but i had heard all you know through the whatever it is what was your i mean i'm sure you're gonna give you know she had a boyfriend first right i knew she was seeing someone or had you know i think shortly after we broke up i mean she was from what i understand was dating the country music singer that was going to sing at our wedding uh or had been pursuing him who was that uh dustin lynch okay what's it oh yes yes we had dustin on yeah i mean that again he was we spoke to his team he was booked originally to sing at the wedding um and then i guess after the breakup she did pursue that

whatever um you know but yeah i was picking up on different things of her life whether it was through the media or through kyle or when it was confirmed she was pregnant having a baby girl i mean what was your first reaction i know it'll be i'm happy for her and then genuinely it's weird like, wow. Like that's, it was like not a shock, but it was a shock.
Um, another thing in my head, I honestly thought like it was something she's always wanted and I was right, not right there with her, but she had a miscarriage and we all were like trying to rally around her. And I felt terrible about what had happened.
And I try to be a supportive friend during all that. And I knew how much she really had dreamed of wanting to be a mother.
So I was absolutely so happy. I think what really hit me was like, damn, that was fast.
Like, let's be honest. Like that felt, I was like, I hadn't even had sex with anybody since her.
And I'm like, she's already pregnant. So I thought in my head, what was I was thinking, but called a good friend of mine.
And he said to me, he's like, dude, you couldn't have asked for better closure. Like you literally can't ask for better closure.
Oh yeah. Short of, short of your ego popping in, like your ex moving on is the best possible.
He's like, take it and just embrace it. Be happy for her.
And now you can move on. You don't have to worry because it's not, not issue anymore have you met the baby have you seen the baby i have just through social media social media and you met her partner so i went to a wedding in portugal in april for mutual friends of ours kyle and amanda were also there um so he was there i didn't interact with him um the show was airing at the same.
So imagine like you're at a wedding in person and then at 9 p.m. at night, the show is airing and we're still together.
Yeah, that is very cool. So there's always those kinds of dynamics that are very unique.
You're asking for a softer Lindsay and she's calling you cocaine, Carl. And I'm at the wedding right in front of her.
And she's with another guy and all that. But I've never met him personally, but Kyle has said to me a few times he's a really nice guy and treats her well and that's all that matters but yeah i don't have any other experience she was also at a second wedding in june andrea from summer house who's a dear friend got married in italy and lindsey was there um but he was not there she was just there by herself but we didn't interact it was very we rode shuttle bus together, which I know Danielle was like.
So you guys are civil, but like. Civil.
Your exes. Yeah.
It's like two coworkers who you know don't like each other, but they're here for the better good of the business. I respect that.
And I really, it always pisses me off when people are just like, why can't we be friends? It's like, respect what you had. If you had respect for what you had,

it shouldn't be easy to be friends

or pretend that you didn't have an engagement

or like you guys were the biggest part

of each other's lives.

And like, it didn't work out

and you could be cordial and have respect

and wish the other person well and be happy for them.

But you're not fucking friends

and stop pretending that you guys

can be fucking cool together

because that's disrespectful to what you had.

It's, yeah.

Well, I think the first moment i walked in and again i don't want to give away too much for the new season but from the jump i mean

you know i arrived at the house and i you know she's celebrating her pregnancy which is great

again but i really it took me a moment to really figure out how to deliver what i wanted to say

because there's just a lot to take in um but i did you know i told her i'm happy for you and

Thank you. Very classic Lindsay.
She made a comment to be almost like drawing back something she said on camera from a previous scene, from a previous season, which was us the previous summer. I'm playing basketball in the West Village and she comes to the park to meet me and she's basically,

her and I talking about the wedding.

She's like, oh, maybe I'll be pregnant by next summer.

So now fast forward, you'll see it on,

and I'm giving away too much.

Bravo is going to kill me right now.

But basically-

I hope that's not too much

because I hope you guys have a lot of great stuff.

But just like the whole-

If that's too much,

Bravo's got a bigger problem.

It didn't work.

I try to play by the rules,

but I basically was like, congrats, I'm happy for you. And then she was like, yeah, I told you, I told you I'd be pregnant.
I literally look at him like, yeah, you did too. All right.
Good stuff. Paige and Craig.
Was that a shock? Team Paige. I love Paige.
You don't have to be teams. No, I'm just, I don't.
I'm fucking with you. I'm a Paige guy page guy i actually kind of it's been interesting to kind of see everything unfold in the media as it did i mean i give her props for the way she handled doing it on giggly squad and there's no easy way to to do any of that and in the public i texted her the day i learned and i said like i give you you know a lot of credit for just stepping up and doing that um and i said if there's paparazzi outside your door then fuck them yeah we we definitely live in a time where you know maybe it's social media the all scandals but like when people break up everyone like it's who's the villain who's the hero who are we gonna burn like sometimes you just like you have the right to fall out of love you have a right to be like you're good we're good but i think there's something better for me and you honestly but that's for you to decide whatever um i i feel for craig but like you know if page doesn't want to be with him she doesn't want to be with him and that's fine it's her right he also has the right to be sad you know and he has the right to speak his truth too but totally i i was gonna say though i think um like it's such a difficult thing to break up like i don't know like in that manner like she's on a podcast she's telling and i get he wants to share his side we're here for you craig but all i know is this i think i mean i give him a lot of credit for going for it i i did worry that the distance and where they were career-wise was maybe not in line.
Uh, Craig was ready to settle down, but Paige is young. How old's Craig? How old's Paige? Craig's like 35.
I think Paige is 32 or 36. Paige is three or four years younger than Craig.
But I was going to say that the team thing, like people are asking me like, am I team Craig or Paige? And I, what I say is there's no team no team here you know i feel equally sorry for both of them but i will say i'm closer to page and have been friends with page more than i've been with craig i've had my personal opinions about him just as i've always had but are there any any criticisms no i think well what's interesting is how you know this past summer we filmed with craig in the hamptons and i saw him loading the fridge with non-alcoholic beer and i was like pumped i was like oh dude na beers he's like yeah i'm not drinking i was like hell yeah man let's have some fun but almost what i uncovered it was like you know his behavior at a period of time was not great at all that page was like i can't be with you if you're gonna be like this you know and i know she dealt with a lot of his ups and downs and challenges through that. And I feel like that got kind of lost in the shuffle.
Like it was Paige was hard on Craig and mean to him. And it's like, no, Paige was actually very gracious.
And I think helped Craig become a better version of himself. And almost the version you're seeing on this season of Southern Charm, which is like the business Craig.
And he's like serious and focused and like oh yeah that's good that's cool to see i worry it's a little too as a viewer manufactured holy as a fan and i don't like i've i guess i know page a little bit better she's been she she was on reality recap once and talked some pop culture reality with us and she was lovely i met craig for five seconds at an event he seemed really nice as a viewer it absolutely seems like page in a lot of ways has rubbed off on craig because as a viewer of like southern charm you know i started watching the halfway through and it's just like the three fuck boys of of the south like just ripping beers and golfing and just like doing whatever the fuck and just getting away with whatever because they're 6'3 and good looking and they just kind of know everyone and they're like the biggest fish in a small pond and then like again this season like the only storyline we have so far uh it's like austin like hanging on to this lifestyle where craig has decided to grow up and you had page call craig and being like honestly really sound business advice or it was like that you know i honestly was like yeah good for page that was really good advice and it's to craig's credit i think he you know he's i'm sure he's seen pages you know explosion or success or dedication to her career it's all paying off i i'm sure i give craig a lot of credit where he never acted like you know it em emasculated him or bothered by it, but instead, almost tried to be like, all right, well, teach a man to fish. Like, how do I do that? But yeah, it's, you know, I think we're just sad because we loved him as a couple and now it's like, she broke up with him, so now she's immediately, how is she the bad guy? And then, like, I don't know.
You and Paige had a little moment season three, right? We did. Oh shit.
Should we start rumors? No, no, no. We had a, I walked in that season, was single and I knew we were having someone new in the house.
And I obviously, she is my like physical type. Like that's a girl I dated in college.
If you're really single and they're like, there's a new girl coming in your house, immediately you're like immediately you're like all right yeah but she was one that like oh my god like she was very attractive it had a cool personality and just something about her but that summer i mean i was total fuck boy mode was saying one thing and doing the other um but i will say like what's funny and i page and i can joke about this but the whole narrative of that season was that i didn't text her during the week we i took her to cindy lopper at madison square garden on a tuesday night during the week she was there with me and and lindsey and everett were together at that time the four of us during the week we're at a concert page knows this um now yes i didn't always communicate during the week but i did take her out during the week it was clear early on that we were probably just better being friends i also i just thought she was really hot and was enjoying this like the fun flirty thing we'd go into the pantry we would honestly eat snacks and make out and like the pantry became a bigger thing than we even realized but um yeah i mean i love i don't think page would ever go for me or vice versa anymore but i i'm just a huge supporter. She's been really kind and generous to me over the last year and a half.
Even in the breakup, she's been supportive of Lindsay. She's been supportive of me, but just the friendship I feel like I have with her feels really solid.
I trust her and she gives me good advice. She's had an amazing explosion with her career, which has been amazing to see.
I remember when she first came on the show she had like 3 000 followers yeah and you know it was a younger girl and she's fully blossomed so um i'm happy for her and i'm actually looking forward to seeing what she does now with a little less just it's it's on her own she's page well what about your love life uh are you still very much in the let's's focus on me. Let's focus on my career, sobriety, all those things.
Yeah. I think that off the table, are we dabbling into love? So this summer I started to put myself out there.
Okay. It took me a little while to unwind just the feelings of all of the past relationship.
I didn't, you know, it was mentioned on the trailer, but I didn't hook up with anyone really until the summer the last person i did hook up with was lindsey just wasn't mentally there and i needed some time to kind of get myself confident back so i had some fun over the summer i dated a little bit but i realized i am i'm back looking but i met someone and at the end of the summer we dated this fall a little bit um we've been seeing each other recently but i'm i think to you the answer you put it in my the words of my mouth but i think i still need to get right back to like i've got a lot going on and i'll tell you what these next three months when the show's airing dating is not easy while you're watching yourself in the past summer flirting with other girls and i'm very single i'm'm not doing anything that crazy, but. Whereas some of that flirting with the new girl, Lexi? So no, the moment I walked in the house, she had already been flirting with someone else.
Okay. Which you'll have to see.
Team West or Team Sierra? I don't know if you know where I stand, but I'm in the minority. I'm going to go Team Sierra, even though I like West.
But Sierra and I do have a friendship. And I think as I learned about some of the nuance with that, I was disappointed in how West handled that.
And you'll see even in the new season, there was other shit that happened after. So you can't tell me.
Again, back to the media stuff. Interviews, podcasts, that bubbled up again.
Gotcha. I'm not saying we did have west on i don't think west pitched a perfect game and i'm not i think he could have been more tactful and apologized yes it's hard man i think as a as a younger guy when you get in those positions sometimes it takes it took me a while to realize like like you fuck up you actually have to say you're wrong in this everybody watched it it's really hard i think over time he'll get to a place where you'll get more of a reflective west i think he was completely caught off guard because he walked in that reunion and i was like dude you know what we're about to do today right he just was not i don't get any idea he was not on his day game but he recovered he had summer, I think.
I think he's living his best life. Yeah, he seems to be doing okay.
He's flourishing. What's the time we recovered? This has been great.
It's been really, man. I really appreciate you taking the time and opening up with us.
Thank you. What can we expect without giving anything away? Yes.
I want to say this is a bit of a challenge that mature shows have with ensemble casts that have come up together been through the trenches and you guys have been through life-changing experiences like life and death and it gets to the point where like you just don't have any anymore to really like shake it up and and and i will for all the like fuck kyle cook blah blah blah like you know say what you want about like whether he should be calling anyone a bitch or not but like kyle cook still showing up for work and making tv and you know i think southern charm has experienced a little bit of this fatigue right now where it's just like if i need to get most of my entertainment from the friends of and all like the sidekicks that are bringing in because like the main characters are just like decided not to like you know be traumatic sure you know it's time to maybe like retire move things on and i'm just like i would love to know because we love summer house yeah you don't want it you don't want it to be like the i'm trying to think of an athlete's example you know like brett farr playing for the new york jets yeah it's just like dude you were a packer you had a great career that was awesome let's keep you in the packer bubble yeah so yeah what can we come to expect i mean jesse and west were two excellent additions great additions uh what can you say about any of your new cast members and and what can you tease in terms of our excitement going into this season it is a totally different season than last but a i believe a better season of summer house than last season because to your point you have like this from the reunion it continues like the next day after the reunion there's shit that happened west did an interview and that caused more stuff so this new season picks up literally from the end of the reunion from my understanding and there's a lot that happened from that little am i gonna have all this here at fans like coming for me and be like and this is why you were fucking wrong okay um but this season you have new new romance with people that you want to root for.

And I think I was rooting for it, but also going, I want to see how this is going to play out.

You have the young love that didn't work out.

Wes and Sierra are still navigating.

Are they friends?

Are they not?

Is Wes going to date?

Is Sierra going to date?

How are they going to handle that?

And then, of course, you have Kyle and Amanda and just their dynamic.

But there's a new guy who I like him as a friend and he brought he just he was himself and he single he's a good looking dude he flirted a lot he met a lot of girls and that created a lot of new things that i think we needed in our show which is back in the day of summer house people used to like guys used to bring girls back. And like the last few years, it's gotten like very coupley or PG,

let's say.

And I'm actually,

I was like,

honestly,

like there was a threesome.

Okay.

Kyle already said this,

but it wasn't me.

And it wasn't Kyle involved,

but Jesse and West,

I can't say,

but there was a threesome for the first time in summer house.

Two dudes or two girls.

You'll have to watch two dudes.

It's two dudes. It's two dudes.
Wait, and all of them are in the house or it was like a pickup from a bar it was two dudes pick up from the house pick up from the house yeah there was some we had some amazing house parties but yeah i mean even for me too like i'll just self shout out you know i'm launching a new business soft bar promotes my cafe and bar that i'm opening in brooklyn um but you'll see the beginnings of that which it's exciting for me just another layer of my professional career because i know in the last few years i've kind of been known as this jobless loser or this guy who can't figure it out and we were talking earlier like your ego is attached to kind of your occupation or how you're doing your career so it's exciting for me because i feel like i'm really doing what i'm passionate about feels like it's exactly where i'm supposed to be and it looks i'm really proud of what we did we threw a big friends and family event that you'll see softbar on camera and you'll meet my team i have a co-founder who's 10 years older than me successful entrepreneur i have women employees like i have a whole crew like it's like a real so there's more i think meat on the bone than people are it's not it's all about lover boy it's like another thing and awesome well as someone who settled down later in life uh and had different ups and downs and someone who always you know wanted to settle down and have kids but didn't for a while uh one i'll say figure out your shit man because like until you do like once you get it you know like just feel calm feel good about what you're whatever it is whatever you feel good about doing where whether you are teaching first grade or you're working on wall street but like if you feel good about what you're doing you feel prideful of it like i think it makes all the difference especially in like men's lives in terms of being just better friends and better partners if you've ever desired to be a dad as someone who's like lucky enough to have been one like nothing has given me more purpose in life and never like it really just it it motivates you it really makes you like i think it makes you more badass in terms of like more more like how do i want to like you know you don't want to mess with an ambitious father type of thing you got dad strength now yeah it's a real thing so yeah like no i think you're it's great to hear you like you're you're you're like it sounds like you're really on a path of trying doing what you want and doing what makes you happy trying i think all that seems to be falling into place and i'm lucky that i i've give a lot of of i've been given a lot of chances and i've had a lot of support i've been very lucky so you know if i just turned 40 and i've got another kind of shot to like recreate what i want to do with my life and i'm not a lot of people get a chance to do that now yeah i'm not as far along as i'd hoped i'd be at this point but i don't think you know my guy friends that have two kids would trade for my spot and vice versa but you know there's goals I still have and I think just trying to set myself up to go get them but I would like to meet someone um but I think I'm realizing more than ever like I just stay focused on these on my career and what I'm building and like that thing will I think your friends who want to trade spots with you when did they start having kids I'm curious like in their mid-20s okay yeah and i will say one benefit to like if you're lucky enough to meet someone and have kids you won't you're going to be very happy with wherever you are like clearly have had fun lived a fun life been very selfish at times like done done your thing and like i don't know i've never been a huge partier but like i've had plenty of fun like the last i am not reminiscing about like oh i wish i was not at the yeah i don't have any it's friday night and where are my friends at like nah nah don't miss it like that that is one benefit of like waiting uh till you're ready and whether whether you're you waited because you're ready or you waited because it wasn't the right time for you or whoever your person is yeah that's been a nice benefit no it's i i'm i thought i'd be married at this point it's okay that i'm not but um you know i think just feel really lucky that i get a chance to like kind of restart and do the things i really wanted this is right around the how do you feel about turning 40 i was nervous at first and then someone asked me which i i think i made my instagram caption which is how old would you be if you didn't know how old you are and i I was like, I like that. And I'd say I'm like 25 years old.
I don't look 40, I don't think. You look great.
So I'm happy with that. But I was born in 1985.
I didn't have a cell phone until I was a senior in high school. Don't even talk to me.
Yeah, you're a baby compared to Nick. Am I? I was born in 80.
You look good, man. You look really good.
I've been off sugar man water blends yeah and I moisturize Carl thank you so much man anything else you want to promote put out there plug websites when does it open in Brooklyn so Softbar will be open in June okay you'll see a little bit of it on the new season our location's in Greenpoint Brooklyn got a really cool industrial space but it's a bar and a cafe. Come as you are.
It's not a sober bar. We just don't serve alcohol.
Oh, BYOB. You can, well, we're hopefully only, no, we're not allowing any alcohol, but we serve amazing drinks that- You can show up hammered.
You could show up hammered. We'll serve you something that tastes great, but no alcohol.
But yeah, I just also, I'll leave you with this. I just hit four years, no alcohol, no cocaine, no prescription no prescription drugs the only thing i've used is thc which i've been very open about but that for me has really helped my anxiety and depression so congratulations thank you thank you for very much for taking no thank you guys for having me and congrats on all your successes thank you your beautiful family you guys have uh thank you for saying that and your audience appreciate you guys keeping me in check we we no it's good stuff i'm glad that i had some anxiety about coming here because of yeah how did it feel is this better than you hoped for it always is better than what you think it is and stepping through the door is better than not you know sometimes yeah i don't think we're hard on people this is great but i feel like we just asked like good questions i mean you asked me some really really good questions that i'm gonna be thinking about for the next two weeks.
How I could have answered it differently. Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you. Wow.
Happy birthday dear Carl. Happy birthday to you.

Yay!

Thank you.

40 and thriving.

Thank you.

Really appreciate it.

So we did get you a cake.

Thank you.

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