E911 Going Deeper – Tom Sandoval and Victoria Lee Robinson

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You're crazy. you guys ready should we cheers first let's cheers yes tom cheers welcome back victoria welcome to the vile falls for having me back uh great to have you guys back cheer let's take a this is Tom's it's called Tom's Tom's Good Lovin'

brought to you by the good man to have you guys back. Cheer.
Let's take a sip. Yes.
This is Tom's. Yes.

It's called Tom's.

Tom's Good Lovin'. Brought to you by

the good men

of Tom Schwartz

and Tom Sandoval.

Yes.

It's a port blended bourbon.

Oh my God.

It's strong.

Oh.

90 proof.

It's a good tiny sip.

It's good.

Right?

It's good.

It's smooth, right?

You feel like you taste

the port finish on the end? I gotta say, I'm not a connoisseur it's very good though thank you man i appreciate that and absolutely drink it i will absolutely drink it i am absolutely drinking it tom i'm really excited to have you here ah i'm uh i was a little nervous coming back here uh yeah i would imagine i honestly thought there was no way uh you would come back on this show it took some convincing on your part. And Dylan helped.
Dylan Efron. He definitely helped.
That was, we appreciate Dylan. Yeah.
Yeah. I think a lot of people will be surprised to see you here as well.
Good. We like surprises, right? We do like surprises.
Do you want to talk about the first episode at all? Man, that was a lot. I was going through a lot.
Obviously, I was in a very different place in my life. And yeah, I mean, first off, I know that we had talked, which was my fault.
We had texted that we were, you know. I'm glad you acknowledged that.
No, it was. Fully.
I was actually there right before he showed up. I was with him.
Oh, you were? I was with him. You guys were dating then? Yeah.
Yeah, I was with him. He had no clue.
He had a podcast. I actually asked him because he was full on bawling his eyes out right before he even saw you.
Because he was talking to me about his friend Ollie. Yeah, and you mentioned that.
I'm actually wearing Ollie's shirt. And we had a night.
We had a long night. Yeah.
And yeah, I asked him like the night before. And I was like, do you tomorrow he goes no no i'm good and then all of a sudden call comes and i'm like are you fucking kidding me i'm like this could not be more terrible what happened was is i had a google calendar with my manager and we had set up a date for me to come in here and then you texted me like like, you know, I don't know, a few days, five days earlier to change the date, but you had texted me directly.
And so it didn't go on my Google calendar, but I was like, no, it's fine. It's fine.
It was my fault. I did text you like several times.
Just to remind you. Okay.
I didn't, I didn't. Listen, we're here now.
We're here. That's all that matters.
It was quite the episode. Yeah, it was.
I had been up. We had gone out.
I'd been up all night. You process grief at different times.
And at that point, that was one of the first times it really hit me about my friend, emotionally emotionally and mentally about everything with my friend Ali who uh who had passed away and it just was like I was just up all night just like sobbing and like just like talking about him I was like really sad because obviously I was like I really liked her and I really wanted her to meet him and like just that whole, you know, just all of it. That was the first time he ever poured his heart out, like ever even spoke about him to me.
Oh, really? And so if you notice on your podcast, his eyes are super puffy. It was just from crying.
Yeah. And he was- Did he read it at all? Oh, no.
I mean, I've been drinking. Oh, he was drinking.
Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. We had both been drinking.
I wasn't sure. If I would have known, I would have been like, no, we're going to bed.
Oh, I mean, I would have too. Yeah.
Yeah. I just, I completely forgot.
How long was that? It was over a year ago. Yeah.
So it was in January. I know that.
You've come a long way. Thanks, man.
Yeah. I feel like I have.
I actually wasn't even planning on drinking this week, but you're like, let's open the bottles. Like, the bottles like all right okay all right how did you guys meet in the first place we met through a friend um it's kind of funny i my well my friend she was like oh do you want to go to this um show and i'm being honest i looked at the phone on a youtube tom sandoval in the most extras i'm just being honest i was like do i really have to go to this like come on because i was just i'm sorry it wasn't the best video it wasn't the best like you know clip that they could have showed me but then i mean i show up i go there and i swear i'm almost front row just like like i'm like it's so much better in person first off and then now I'm like here I am I don't have no idea how this happened so you went to a you're kind of like and I say this with love and kind of fun but like you're kind of like a what like groupie no I didn't I didn't actually but like you went to a show and you met the star of the show my friend actually liked him at the time don't worry you stole him no no I'm not I'm far from when you went to a show and he met the star of the show.
My friend actually liked him at the time. Don't worry.
You stole him? No. No, I'm not.
I'm far from that. When you went to the show, like, and someone's like, let's go to the show.
And it says Tom Sandoval and the most extras. Like, how aware of, like, not that I'm, I'm not, I'm not trying to get into Scandival here, but how aware of Scandival were you? Zero percent.
Zero percent. Give me a lie detector test.
I don't care who believes me, who does not. I had no clue.
I mean, clue i mean to be honest like be for real like he probably wishes that i knew about the scandal yeah beforehand because i'm finding things out in real time i'm going through my phone my algorithms fully changed well in past tense and i'm like during the relationship i'm looking over i'm like just giving a dirty look, and he's like, what did I do?

And I'm like, you did what?

Where?

Are you fucking kidding me?

If you would have known, what do you think that would have done?

I mean, I would have not thought the same about him whatsoever.

I got to know him not knowing anything and hearing his sides of whatever.

Like I said, I've definitely seen not so great things that if anything the nicest way i could say this if i was the other girl if i was his ex and there was a little secret camera i've definitely feel like i've been his karma what do you mean by that meaning like i've given him a lot of shit yeah because i'm a girl and like i've never cheated in my entire life i would never be a homewrecker and i just i'm not for any of that and he i think he was matched with me for a reason because he has grown so much i'm so proud of him i really am and baby you know i think that he needed a little little she kicks my ass it's like you know i don't anymore if she would have to stop if she would have seen everything that happened you know it's like time goes by you get over it you've been there done that but it's like as i would have almost rather her have done that you know had that happen you know beforehand because then it's like you know we're we're getting deeper into the relationship and it's like oh she's seeing this somebody sent her this somebody tagged her in this somebody and it's like it's like scares the shit out of me yeah of course i i fully understand overwhelming yeah yeah well i mean the person i'm fully in love with and I'm like, just looking and I'm like, I can't. How shortly after you go to the show, you meet him.
Yeah, I want to because we kind of breezed over that. So she came to the show and then I had to leave right away because we were filming our finale.
It was season 11 finale in San Francisco, Kyle Chan's event. So I had to leave directly after that i never even met her that night and then cut to our premiere part our premiere of of special no special forces oh okay so do you were you there i'm trying to remember were you there at craig's yeah yeah you were there right yes okay so do you remember two girls coming up and oh he you were there oh wait with jojo siwa like after dinner we left pretty quickly yeah so they so her and her friend came towards the end and they knocked on the door because she recognized me from well like i said my friend my friend my friend liked it or from uh yeah from the most extra show that she went to she was like oh that's that guy that you whatever and and so your friend was so my friend my friend had a crush on him they didn't like really know each other or anything did your friend know about no she didn't know no oh really her friend did oh she and was telling her about it okay does that make sense so somebody's mom told our another mutual friend does this make sense yeah yeah so we were a group of three friends she did not know about it the other one's mom told the other girl which told her you know and i'm i'm dating this other guy at the time i'm not even paying attention like i fully was dating another guy um boyfriend and girlfriend or just dating just dating but like we were dating dating like um so that night at crags i was like go say something he's right there he's just a normal person just say something and then so i walked her over because i was trying to help her out you know and um we all ended up hanging out afterwards i don't know if you remember i was like hey you guys want to go do like karaoke or something i do remember something about karaoke being mentioned yeah and like jojo was kind of into it there was a couple other people that were into it i was like do you want to come with us or meet us over there and we were gonna went to saddle ranch and then nobody ended up showing up so it was just the three of us and so we hung out and we ended up like hanging out and like just we had a great night but it was uh it was pretty obvious like i wasn't into her friend and I and I was not that I was into her or anything I just was like we're just having a good time it's very casual and then like months went by like we're talking like end of October well you can rewind there like so she my friend tried to kiss him sorry tried to kiss.
And he just panicked and shoves like a candle of him and Schwartz. Like some, what was that? Oh, there's these like church candles that we have that are like Schwartz is Joseph.
And me is like baby Jesus in his arms and a trumpet. He just panics and looks down and goes,

you want a candle?

They're like, I didn't make them.

Why didn't you have a candle with you?

Somebody made these candles.

We would sell them at TomTom

because of the TomTom clock.

It's a funny, it's a spoof candle.

Gotcha.

And so I just was like,

oh yeah, do you want a candle?

And like, I don't know.

I kind of panicked.

I wasn't like, my mindset was not there.

And then on the car on the way back home, because I was taking her home, I was like, I don't know. I kind of panicked.
I wasn't like, my mindset was not there. And then on the car on the way back home, because I was taking her home, I was like, I don't think that he really likes you.
And she's like, no shit. He gave me a candle.
And then she started dating another guy. Okay.
And months went by. Then we hung out on Halloween.
Yeah. And on Halloween, I broke it off with my guy.
Okay. Okay.
That was a okay that was like you were hanging out at time you just call him up hey yeah like while you were hanging out time so the first night we actually like really hung out like before then and when me and the other girl and him would hang out him and i would vibe more like because we listen to the same music and she listens completely different music and i bond with people on music like but it was more of like whenever I have a girlfriend that likes a guy i bro them out i'm like what's up dude like whatever like i'm very respectful and we were i didn't think of tom like that at all like whatsoever um but i think like the music like you know getting to know him like not hearing about all the stuff that he did in the past like he's a good guy we yeah yeah and then months went by before we actually like we were friends at first so we hung out on halloween nothing happened and then like you know a while went by and then finally we we slowly just kind of yeah i got the okay i was like hey is this weird and she was like no not at all i'm fully like in love with my boyfriend. I don't care.
By that point, it had probably been like five months. So at what point did you find out about Scandible? Was it before this? So we started hanging out.
And he would get drunk. Because we had to go out and stuff.
And he would get drunk. And he would be in his feelings.
And also, i started hanging out with him when all of these bombs started coming in it's like once we like started like spending the night with you know each other or whatever i'm like waking up like what not what not oh my god what's this morning and i'm like that was very uh i mean it's very heavy i was i was waking up daily to like. It was never-ending.

And yeah, it was rough, obviously.

How did you, I mean, despite whatever your critics or whatever, but whether people think you deserved it or not, the hate that you received, the harassment that you received, how did you deal with that?

Because it was heavy, man. At first i was uh drinking like crazy okay and then i i realized like this is a i mean even leading up to all of that i was drinking all the time like almost pretty much every day all day and just like constantly just numbing myself to my life and shit.

And anyways, and then, you know, after that, it didn't stop.

And then finally, I was like, there's so many things that I can't help.

You know, like I can't help like all of these things, but there's certain things I can control.

And so I stopped drinking.

I stopped smoking cigarettes.

I just started working out and just like focusing on all the things that I could actually do that made me feel better. I started doing guided meditation.
I was seeing a therapist, just kept busy. And honestly, like we had tour dates booked, like, you know, from when this, like before this, all this broke, you know, and I had to go out and do that i look back at it as a very empowering moment and for myself because i had to walk out with people that had scumbag and cheaters and worn with a mustache and all this shit in the audience wondering like what the fuck they're gonna see when they like come you know come out there like why they're they're just here to witness whatever it The spectacle.
The spectacle of it all. And I had to like go out there, stone sober, look at these people in their fucking eyeballs and be a lead singer of a cover band.
Like it was like bungee jumping every show. But I'm so glad that I did it.
I had people telling me, cancel it, cancel it. If we would have canceled these shows, the band would have dissolved and it never would have, it would have been done.
And I would not have gotten anywhere, but it was like, no, I need to like face it, go for it and do it. And I'm so glad that I did because these people would show up wanting to like hate or bring signs or whatever.
And then they would end up just having such a blast and like rocking out. And then like, you know're leaving maybe like post a quick video of them being like yeah fuck you sandoval yeah you suck but like they actually had a great time you know what i mean no no i they're like for the record we did not have fun here okay i've seen that happen i've seen that happen so many times where they'll be like jumping out the mirror like take, take my phone, please, please.
Fuck this guy. I mean, yeah, I, you know, for different reasons.
When I was the villain on The Bachelor, I definitely had people who like asked for a selfie, were super nice, and then would like go online and talk shit, you know? Yeah. So, I do want to point out for any potential haters and trolls out there, they love a timeline you said special forces premiere and technically it wasn't the premiere because i don't want people to be like oh you halloween i think because it premiered and i forgot when it premiered but that was a night that was the day we all the cast got together for the first time it was like the press yeah it was like the press junket for it so that was before the premiere so i don't you know okay i don't know i don't want people to yeah call you guys out on timelines if all of a sudden it was like oh no good i'm gonna i don't you know yeah no no i just want to protect you guys in that department so what was that like for you i mean when i mean i know you so you heard about scandoval the world hates him you know everyone's just like don't date this guy i have said things you know i've you said a lot i've said a lot i you know i've you know we talk about we talk about reality tv on this show i've spent a week with tom on special forces it was a very interesting time you know like everyone else he was like america's number one villain and i had no idea about tom and like everyone on that cast everyone bonded and it was wait you had no idea about me no no oh oh not the person oh i knew like i knew scannibal i knew about you as the character you know but i never met you and like and we always say that like when we talk when we talk about people on tv it's just like there's an edit like we don't know these people like i'm definitely allow myself to be wrong about my opinions that i say on the show if i have never met him in person like i definitely don't always believe the edit so to speak that's what i mean by that but oh yeah okay you know since then you know like i got to know tom a little bit you know as for his strengths and his weaknesses and things like that forgot where i was going with this but yeah well i guess the point was is this like i'm glad you can say that because that happens with me sometimes yeah it's like what are you getting long-winded but i guess and i've said this on this show multiple times like i and i'll you know i said like tom i'm very critical of i don't even know if you're friends with jacks taylor yeah and i've said this on the show so i'll say it's your face i said i'll say the difference between jacks taylor and tom sandoval is I think Tom actually wants to be a good person.
Whether you think he is or not, whether you agree with his moral compass or not, I think there's a sincere effort where I don't think Jax Taylor gives a shit. I honestly don't know if there's a human being inside there.
Oh, there's definitely a human being. And, you know, I know, look, Jax, me and Jax are very different people.
But, you know, there is a human being in there. He's just a different kind of dude.
But I do understand why you would think that. I understand why you would think that.
Yeah, I mean, yeah. And again, I know better than you.
I would think the same thing. I know him a little bit, but I know you better.
And, like, for example, moral, I don't think we have the same moral compass. I think there's, no one does to a certain extent.
Yeah. But you have different rules, and I have different rules.
We all have different rules and boundaries, whatever. But I think a lot of criticism, this is back to my direct question for Victoria.
I think most people, even they were like meeting tom and they would say you know what i don't know it's like i met him not a bad guy but like i don't know if i let him date my sister type of thing you know it's like yeah sure i'll hang out with the guy he's a good hang he's a good friend but i don't know if i would trust i I wouldn't introduce him to my sister or a friend that's a girl.

And so I'm sure you heard stuff like that.

How did you process that?

And, you know, how much did you kind of, you know, we've all been the person who wants to chain someone, that wants to fix someone, that wants to be like, you know what?

Yeah, maybe they were bad before me, but I will turn them around.

Fix them.

Fix them.

Like, how did you wrestle with those criticisms, those voices, maybe those even internal thoughts? Like, how did you deal with that and kind of get through that so that your relationship could have a fair shot? Well, we've both been in therapy, and I've obviously had to talk to my therapist about this. Okay.
And because it is hard, it's really hard, like like going online and hearing like or like people thinking that i'm some dumb naive girl or that i'm dying to be on the show or whatever else i've heard i've heard it all or just like yeah i think generally speaking the internet just assumed you had alternative modes we yeah we got we got into therapy very early on in our couple it's a couple yes because i wanted to develop good because i was like hey you know we should do because i was like i we really love each other so and my mom actually suggested that she was like you guys should like start uh therapy now to kind of prevent anything in the future you know and i And I was like, that's a really good idea.

Yeah, develop good habits now before, like, they go,

you develop bad habits for a long time,

and then you have to unlearn those bad habits.

And going back to where I was saying, like, you know,

me, like, saying something online and, like, you know,

giving him a little shit, you know?

I can't do that forever.

I can't hang on to that.

I can't always do that.

I got to let him grow, and that's me doing that is, like, going to stop that. Do you know what can't do that forever i can't i can't hang on to that i can't always do that i gotta let him grow and that's me doing that is like gonna stop that do you know what i'm saying no totally it's a total defense mechanism right it's like it's you kind of making sure she's not interpreting she fucking checks me though well that's what i'm saying though what i'm saying like if anyone who we've all given people second chances right friends? Friends, people were in relationships with strangers,

you know,

people,

you know,

a second chance for you would have been like,

you met this guy.

Then you find out,

Oh my God,

the internet hates him.

I mean,

she's not his ex-girlfriend,

yada,

yada.

I assuming like you're saying you're,

you're probably giving them shit because it's like,

I don't know.

You barely know the guy.

It's a new relationship.

And you probably,

you know,

if you listen,

if,

if you weren't at least like one eye open,

so to speak,

you know,

that would have been kind of foolish on your part,

right?

Like you were taking a risk on a guy.

I don fully know. Now I'm like, okay, well now I'm fully in it.
He's my pain in the ass. Like now I'm like, all right, this is my pain in the ass.
I can deal with it. I got it.
So can I, can I ask you, Tom, what are some bad habits that you've been able to unlearn? I can just tell you that the way I approach relationships is completely different than what it's been in my entire previous of my life. And one thing about everything that I went through and put myself through in the situation I put myself in is that I have to put myself and get myself to a position where I feel like I deserve somebody like her.
And, you know, there's all these people that are like, oh, I'm going to fix them. I'm going to fix them.
It's not about her fixing me. I mean, obviously I'm all ears and I listen to her and when things bother her, because sometimes they're just old, like stupid, nonchalant things that you don't really think about that affect the relationship.
But it really comes down to the person. It comes down to me wanting to, you know, earn her love and wanting to be the best I can be and also feeling like in a sense of really guilty in the way that I've been in the past and wanting to be a better person and being really motivated to do so.
And a lot of the things that I've changed in my life is like, I don't go out. I don't go out drinking anymore the way that I used to.
I'm not out all the time, to all hours of the night. I don't do that shit.
Also, like, you know, it's been frustrating to me that like the shit that she

has to do, I feel very guilty about it.

The shit that she constantly has to deal with because

of me and because of my fuck up and my

mistakes and bad choices.

And I don't like to say mistakes

by the way. I like to say bad choices because

mistakes is like accidentally getting into a

car accident. Bad choices is

ownership and I have to take ownership of what I did.'s like a new time i'm just saying that like i do feel bad about the shit that she has to deal with it's it's not fair to her but i also just want to say like if people could just please be respectful of my girlfriend and our relationship and our committed relationship i'm in a committed loving is my person. And, you know, people, girls can be a little like whatever, disrespectful.
And I just want people to like, please respect my relationship and where I'm at in my life. Like I'm serious about where I'm going, what I want to do, our future.
We have goals. We have things we want to do together and I'm all about it and I'm 100% in.

I think that a part of the reason why so many women feel that they could so easily like disrespect me, like let's say we're at a show or something. Girls will like come up and just try to like be all over him or like try to kiss him or like whatever.
and I'm sitting right there

and I'm like

they know I'm right there

and she gets pissed

or they don't

sometimes they don't

sometimes they do but i think that's coming from of what he did in his past like if i weren't his girlfriend you know and knowing everything that happened in the past i'd look at him like oh well he'd do it you know? Yeah, they're all trying to bait him, I'm sure.

I had somebody DM me literally very recently saying like,

hey, can you come to my wedding?

I have lots of hot friends.

I'm just like, are you fucking kidding me with that shit?

You're a very hot guy.

You're beautiful.

You're a fucking beautiful girl.

Come get the fuck out of here.

Look who's talking. But that's talking.
I can't leave. We'll tell you some stories.
I'm just saying. I love.
I think you like door number two. What was I even saying, guys? Sorry, Victoria.
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Do you remember the line, I wouldn't cheat that way? Is that from a country song or what? That was from, well, I think we did make it into a song. It was on this podcast oh god are you cherry picking things no no listen i you're i'm really like i'm really impressed with the i don't like to call it mistakes i like to call it bad yeah mistakes is not taking ownership that was like that's a that's a 360 degree like different person than the person that was here on this podcast uh last time but the reason i wanted to ask you that is because, you know, and on Special Forces, when we talked about the whole situation and why I think that whole thing kind of went as long as it did and perpetuated.
And it kind of felt like every time, whether it was this podcast or Howie's or whatever, you just got like more and more heat, right? And a lot of it was, you know, and I get it. Like you were just, whether you were trying to explain yourself or other people thought you were justifying yourself, then that's what's so different about the mistakes versus bad choices is like, you were talking about how clearly whatever was going on that past relationship, you felt like your needs weren't being met.
I don't think either one of ours. Sure, sure.
But like, it felt like a lot of people were saying like the way, when you were talking that way, people were taking it as you kind of making excuses. Right.
So when we were talking, I remember at special forces and I was asking you, can you at least say like, well, I would never do this again. And you were like kind of resistant to saying that.
The reason why I was resistant to you, Nick, is because you came in all Dr. Phil

and I was warned about you going into special forces by who by my publicist okay i was warned no no different publicist i was warned about you like i was told that you were gonna like that you had talked a lot of shit like dragged me okay this is true and um and that You were going to try, you were going to like, that you had talked a lot of shit, like dragged me. Okay.
That's true. And, and that you were going to try, you were going to take the, he's like, just wait.
He's going to try to take the opportunity to Dr. Phil you.
And the reason why I wouldn't make that commitment is because you wanted me to make a vow to you. No a vow, no.
No, you said that.

You literally said. I didn't say make a vow to me.
Yes, you did. You said make a promise to me, Nick Vial, Nick Vial, to never cheat again.
And I'm like, dude, I'm not making any sort of like vow to you, Nick. Okay, agree to disagree.
But that's not really the point. No, that's why you asked me to make a vow to you, dude.
All right, fair enough. but I'm just,

I'm just saying it like with you guys are in couples therapy and all these things right and i'm i guess i'm just curious is like have you guys talked about like you know your relationship's relatively young still very i mean it's been a year or so you guys clearly are connecting clearly in love like have you guys talked about when things get bumpy or rocky how are you going to communicate with each other right and work through things so it doesn't get to a point where not to again relitigate the past or anything like that that like clearly you two were just like disconnected what do you guys learned in therapy to allow yourselves to be a different relationship than the relationship you had in the past? Well, from what I've heard and like seeing on the internet and stuff, like they didn't have the same, you know, wants and, you know, with each other. But I told them, I'm like, don't waste my time.
If you ever want to, you know, go elsewhere, if you ever want to break up, just break up with me. um if you're not happy with something i'm like do we want kids like well do you want kids and then okay how many do you want but we have to be on the same page on everything i'm like don't waste my time 16 kids i know time you definitely want kids right 16 of them you want 16 no he does not want 16 that is not happening yeah i'm not popping out 16 kids but i'm gonna pop out too you want kids whether you know with our i don't want to go too much in the previous relationship but there was a major disconnect sure there was a massive disconnect and it felt more of like a business partnership than anything but it either way whether that was the case or not the way i fucking handled it was absolutely atrocious and thank you and it doesn't fucking matter and i will never ever i mean again like i feel like i've been there done that like i'd never been in a relationship that long i'd never like like as soon as we started dating everybody's like when you gotta put a ring on it was like immediately we were pushed together sure which was great in the beginning but as time went on the differences in us really started to shine and instead of us working on it we just sort of just kind of drifted away and it was just something like which is unfortunate it's unfortunate became a comfort thing she was still like yeah the relationship's over yeah yeah it's done how do you guys help each other in general oh she helps me all the time we should be like each other like do the thing because i'm you know again like i'm not to compare like in this is relatively new and that you know that was a you know but like you know it felt like you right or wrong it felt like in the past you felt less taken care of that you seem to feel taken care of now and i'm what for you is the difference difference.
I don't want to say less. I don't want to make it like a taking care of thing.
Like it's all about my needs and all that stuff. I don't, I don't want to make it like, listen, I, we were just more relationship.
You independent, take care of each other, right? Yeah. You need to connect, you know, you need to take care of each other.
That's, you know, and for different reasons and good times and bad, you need to, when I, but first met him it was a shit show he was so insecure he felt so beat down i'm i mean you know the world was going after him and everything this man is so different now compared to when i first met him the insecurity like he's so beautiful like baby that that like even just so many different in so many different ways, you were just so insecure. And now you feel like you're more yourself.
You know yourself more. I do think that being with me, I'm so sorry to mention it again.
But me telling you, hey, this isn't cool. And then I would soften up and I'd be like, would you do

these things again? No, it's hard. Right.
You know, you think you see one thing, you get told another must be confusing, you know? And I know too, that like, because of my past and what I've done, like there's different rules with me now. And that's something that I have to live with.
And I, and I do live with that and I understand that and I accept that, you know, I understand that, you know, on a normal, like normal people, you know, that haven't done what I've done, like they can have more freedoms and more things. But like as somebody who's done what I've done, like it's, it takes time.
It takes time. And I get that.
Well, in another, I mean, it is kind of, it's, it is ridiculous. And you've said this and I'll say it'll say it.
And it doesn't make it okay.

No.

The internet acted like you invented infidelity.

It's a sad reality of relationships,

and I think that's what's fascinating about Scandaval,

because so many people were trying to understand why it blew up the way it did.

It's still somewhat of a mystery, but it's somewhat, I understand.

You became the poster child of of that you know probably unfairly so but it probably was a good lesson and it seems like as difficult as it was it do you let me ask you this do you feel as shitty as that period was that like you're better for it and would you trade that whole experience given what progress you seem to have made since well it's really look obviously if i could go back and change i would change so much i'm not saying oh i wouldn't do a distinct you know and people i don't want that people to throw that in your face i'm just saying meeting her and being with her it's like who knows you know what i'm saying and so it definitely gave me a swift kick in the ass you know what i mean in so many ways um it was a real eye-opener and a real real true like hard knocks learning experience and it definitely toughened me up in a lot of ways and uh just it gives you a hardcore reality check you also get to see like how you know when they call like what i doing, being on a reality show, a double edged sword, you see that double edged sword, you see that one side sometimes a lot bigger than the other. But you know, it's been cool to like, you know, with moving on seeing, like going and doing something like traders, you know, and special forces and then going to do traders and just like, you know, coming back from something like that and moving on and moving to the future like how you know it it it becomes exciting to like you know go from down here to like keep you know what i'm saying like keep moving forward and keep going ahead and seeing new challenges and seeing like light at the end of the tunnel slowly get brighter and brighter and brighter and and that's been really amazing especially with her and just in experiences in life you know were you surprised you know as as your time on traders kept going and you were still there and you know obviously shocked that people were just you know and some you know you could see it online people were just like begrudgingly being like oh you know like that must have felt good yeah it did it did actually whether they were laughing with me or at me i know they were fucking laughing did you watch it yeah people were people were begrudgingly like rooting for you there's a lot of like yeah you know if nothing else people were glad you were on their television you know the they could at least acknowledge they enjoyed watching you you know and that yeah like I said that must have did you watch it? Traitors? Yeah how good was the doll challenge? it was the best I was laughing my ass off I like the insect moment too I loved like Dylan's response to the insect challenges they're like just like pouring on me that was the one thing I would have been the same as you oh my god i was very envious of dylan's ability to like truly not give a fuck and i would have i could have gotten through it you could have gotten i would have been like tom it just sucked i would have i would have you know i muscled through the whole thing oh as soon as i realized like i got all these things going to crawl on my hands i was like why do i need to see that I'm just not gonna look and I literally imagined like little soft little ducklings and like cute little things crawling on my hands but I'll tell you what was so gross is like you got these crickets and you got these freaking like cockroaches on you and you have like a like a like a snake wrapping around your neck and they're crushing these cockroaches and crickets and things on your neck and they're like biting because they're like they're like grasping for life you know what i'm saying like it was it was really gross uh and then you know finding like larva and all that larvae or whatever like in your pockets like later and just that was the one thing that i was like really not looking forward to like i don't know if you remember like fear factor it's like i could do all the other stuff but like when they start eating like eating stuff like that like for me no way did you think that the uh singing in the telephone challenge was going to be as hysterical as as it was for us i had no idea i actually doing it i was like this is so stupid like i thought it was going to be boring and stupid I didn't think like everybody's just like, doing it, I was like, this is so stupid.
Like I thought it was going to be boring and stupid. I didn't think like everybody's just like, you know, we're exhausted most of the time.
Like I was running off no sleep and coffee and you get there and you could tell when they said this, even myself included, you're looking at this. You go, okay, so you got to listen to dolls and sing what they're saying backwards into a phone so they can play it forward.
Everybody kind of collectively was like, oh, no, somebody else go. Like, oh, no.
Like, nobody fucking wanted to do that at all. And you're like, I'm Tim's not in the role in the most extra.
I was like, I can do this. I was like, I'll do it.
I'll do it because apparently nobody else here is musically. They're like, I don't know.
It's like asking them to speak another language, which it felt like another language, honestly. Did it feel like a bit of a relief for you to see positive things online for Tom? I loved it.
Of course. I loved it.
He's like, he's my baby. I'm like, I'm very, very happy.
She was like, of course. Because now that I know everything, I'm always like, he doesn't look at anything on the internet.
I'm always the one that's telling him stuff now. Because before it was so, it was so brutal and so negative that like, you don't want to look at that.
And he's still, he just is bad at going on Instagram can only take so many paragraphs of puke emojis before you're just like i'm good on this but like before when it was really negative i would um i'd be like hey you want me to go through your dms and i'm like report report report bye like because their instagrams well i'm just like it was so bad he would get death threats i mean like really brutal death threats you will find know where I was going and they would be, I'm just like, it was so bad. He would get death threats.
I mean, like, really brutal death threats. You would find out where I was going, and they would be like, I'm going to come meet you, and like...
I'm going to... Like, it would get very...
Did you have stalkers outside your house at all? There were a few at times. Yeah.
Damn. That sucks.
But now it's... Now it's...
Like, it's great. Yeah, does it feel like life's a little bit back to normal for you? Yeah, yeah.
A little bit. Yeah, for sure.
I mean, definitely more than a little bit. It's definitely gotten better.
And I really appreciate it. I really appreciate everybody who was cheering for me, rooting me on.
I really do appreciate that. It means a lot, especially just, yeah, it was really nice.
It was unexpected. Can we talk about your glowing skin? My glowing skin? Oh, thank you.
I actually had a CO2 peel. Dr.
Lakey, shout out to Dr. Lakey.
Shout out to Dr. Lakey.
I was hitting up Tom to try to consider coming back on the show. And you were like, I can't right now.
I literally kept my skins peeling off my face. Did you take care of him in this time of need? We both did it together.
You did it together? It didn't really do much to me. Well, you are a bit younger.
It didn't really do much. But we looked insane.
We looked so crazy. The first day, he wouldn't even look at me.
I was like, babe, am I really that ugly? Yeah, it's like you like i've seen other people do this shit online i was so swollen is it the same thing tamar judge did i'm not sure is it yeah okay it's been confirmed okay i saw that and i was like holy shit this is scary but But she looked great a couple weeks later. It's intense.

But yeah, they did a great job.

And it really helped.

When did you want to do that?

Just because I felt like it was something I could use.

You got to keep the face card fresh.

Yeah.

I mean, I felt like new beginning, moving forward to the future,

shed off some of that stress drinking that I did back in the day. Just healthier healthier lifestyle it was like yeah i'm not gonna do that shit if i'm not the drinking all the time anymore no like just taking care of our skin he's been so good about working out i'm trying um baby yeah just like i'm always on him about like drink water drink water and it's like just being healthier in general it's better for our minds better for everything I ran into your buddy Tom Swartz yeah in January or maybe it was New Year's Eve and I was like oh you've seen much of Sandoval lately and he kind of gave me the old like my friends in love so I don't see much of them at all uh I'm just has the has the dynamic duo is it still intact yeah okay actually he came with uh to minnesota we were in minnesota together like my band was there he came out there i blew the viking horn um we had a lot of fun it was great like the no no just at the show or whatever but it was really fun it was but i just don't go out the way that i used to i've become much more of a homebody and just like focused on getting stuff done, doing things, staying healthy.
Yeah. I can tell you, man, like I took eight months off drinking.
It like fully. No.
No. You were sober for eight months.
Eight months. I just quit.
And I didn't compensate with weed. It wasn't like California sober.
Like I was fully, you know, sober. and you got some shit as sometimes you do on traders and people were bringing up like the sweating dude and accusing you of knowing of taking other substances you can ask jacks put that to bed you can ask jacks i don't do fucking cocaine i've never done fucking cocaine i will never do cocaine it's not my jam It's not what I do.
I've never done that shit. That's why it's so annoying is because he really doesn't.
That's what's so like if I was like a, you know, casual every once in a while user or whatever, I still wouldn't be doing it on that show. He's actually like, I don't do fucking cocaine.
So that's like, that's why it's so annoying to be accused of something like that. And I can tell you, it sure as hell was hotter than it is in this room right now, in that room.
And it was 23 people all kind of stressed out. And I was wearing a very thick wool sweater.
And I wasn't feeling great. And I wasn't the only one.
I thought we were done with our breakfast scene. So I'm like, I'm ripping off this giant thick wool sweater immediately.
Dylan did the same thing they just cut him out he was literally sitting in a white tank top like just chilling they're like dude you got to put your shirt back on they told me the same thing i was like i'm fucking dying in here it's so hot like it was really hot yeah dylan did say it was hot too he was like he was like i feel lucky thatum. Yeah, he also was like, I'm lucky that they didn't show me either because he took his shirt off.
There was somebody else that pretended like it was cold. Yeah, I know.
Yeah. Well, it's good to hear you clear that up.
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Book your virtual visit, I don't know. I got shows coming up.
I want to get my podcast going again, working on that. There was a lot of speculation about how all that in the past affected, like, obviously, your ability to earn income.

You were getting a lot of speculation about how all that in the past affected like obviously your ability to earn income you were getting a lot of you know a lot losing deals and i don't even know if that happened but like do you feel yeah okay that is true okay are you in a better situation now and do you feel like things have taken a turn and in addition to fans letting up and you know less and less hate coming your way do you also feel like you know like yeah like life's not only getting back to normal with relationships or with fans but also your ability to do your work or make a living yeah it's definitely I mean it's obviously not where it used to be but it's definitely uh bouncing back for sure and has gotten better and there are things happening and I'm really excited about it. Like it's really awesome.
It feels like a gift, you know, to be able to do that again. Cause when, when you lose something like that for so long, it's like, you kind of get used to like, okay, it's never, it's never going to happen again, but it does.
It's starting to happen again. And it feels really good.
It feels nice to be, you know, there's other show opportunities coming up and like other things like that it feels really good for myself because it shows that i am valuable tv i'm valuable being on on tv i'm valuable to a show and it felt really good to like hear that and see that with with traders and feel that way even like with special forces and i'm sure you felt that way too because you were very valuable on that show special forces as well you did great i mean you won thanks buddy uh that was a rewarding experience that show yeah for all of us i mean that show is designed to be rewarding and now river rose gets to see you kick ass and win special forces that's gotta be an awesome feeling man i heard her heartbeat right right after we got after we got done filming so it was a very cool experience. That's awesome, man.
Very cool experience. You recently said that Vanderpump was toxic.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Of course it was.
Do you want to elaborate? By the way, River Rose is so pretty. Yeah.
Oh, my God. The name or just her? The name.
Oh, thank you. Both.
I'm sure she's beautiful, too. She looks like she...
But I love that name. I feel like she kind of has her has her eyes.
I think she has my mom or her other grandma's eyes because I have brown eyes, but she has blue eyes. I'm just saying the shape.
She looks like me though. I love that name.
Oh my gosh. That's really cute.
Well, if you guys have a kid, you're welcome to. But I guess I don't know if you spoke elaborate on that, what you meant by that or if that was a statement but i'm curious so great about traitors too and like and special forces you know what's a different show yes with vanderpump rules of course those shows are toxic i mean they're they're rewarding bad behavior sure you're supposed to show up doing your job is showing up and having the one conversation about the one thing you don't want to talk about with the one person you don't want to talk about it with.
You know what I mean? The most uncomfortable, awkward, like feel nauseous in your stomach, like dry mouth conversations all the time after, you know, a couple to several drinks. You know what I mean? And maybe like a little bit of lack of sleep if we're on a trip, and at least a little bit of lack of sleep if we're on a trip and at least a little bit of lack of sleep if we're on a trip so it's just it is and it's nerve-wracking too because they film a scene they film something like me going to meet up with lala for lunch and it's shot for an hour and a half and if we're lucky we get five minutes of that so they have all the power to show, which I would see happen in Vanderpump Rules.
If I keep pushing you in the arm, pushing you in the arm, pushing you in the arm, and then you finally go, Tom, you're an asshole. Stop doing that.
What they'll do is they'll cut out me pushing you in the arm five times and just get me pushing you, you calling me an asshole. And then they create the debate.
They create the debate online. Whose side you on? Are you team Nick or are you team Tom? And I've been on the show with other cast members who abuse that and do that to try to provoke you.
Because they know they're going to keep heckling you, heckling you, going after you, attacking you, attacking you till you finally snap.

And then they don't show the heckling, like the lead up to like all the heckling and all the like badgering. And then they show you them saying it one time or something once, and then you getting upset and then cut print on the, you know what I mean? like yeah speaking of toxic one person that i've been even more critical than i ever was of you

was your past castmate, James Kennedy. Yeah.
Who was incredibly hard on you when Scandaval was going on. And say what you want about what you did.
But like for me, what he's been accused of by multiple people, I think is unforgivable. And I think it's a certain kind of person that I really don't think you are.
Please don't compare me to James Kennedy. No, he's saying that they're not.
I'm literally saying, you know, for all the friends you got, person I've gotten to know, despite whatever flaws you may have, I really don't think you are capable of being physical with women. And clearly, you know, I felt like, you know, I had gotten to know James a little bit, seemed like a nice guy.
But then you kind of heard all these rumors in the past, but you just think you don't really know. And then that stuff comes out.
And I've since talked more to Chris than Doty. But where do you stand with him at all? And do you have any thoughts and feelings on, you know, because quite honestly, I was very disappointed in like how Lisa has handled it and what seemingly she seems to cover for him in ways that I don't think she covered for other people.
But do you have anything to say on the topic? Yeah. You know, especially considering James and I has passed.
Um, yeah, he was, you know, he was getting chance going like Sandoval's liar. And, you know, but unlike James Kennedy, I'm not going to kick him while he's down.
I'm sure he's dealing with a lot. But with that being said, you know, whether there's alcohol involved or not, there's absolutely no excuse for a man to put his hands on a woman and also there are a lot of previous other allegations and you know where there's smoke there's fire and that's that's all i want to really say about that can i ask you why do you think lisa has the position that she does i i don't know okay i don't know that's that's on't know.
Understood. Okay.
Well, thanks for allowing me to ask that question because I know you, I'm sure it's not super easy. And I think for Jax, like I'm actually proud of, really, really proud of Jax for being sober because that's kind of take a lot.
Like to own it to the world, you know, to admit it and everything, that's kind of take a lot of courage to even do that in the first place his critics me being one of them would say it just seems like every time there's some sort of vulnerability for jacks it always seems to be right around when a new season of whatever the fuck's coming out and it sometimes comes across as self-promotion well he has he has been sober like whether it happens to be around the beginning of the season or not it's fair he's he's still doing it you seem to even jacks because jacks was really jacks took advantage of skandavall to benefit himself yeah but that's the thing i'm not jacks you still have a soft spot for Jax. I just don't like to, I do not feel good when somebody is down or when they're going through it, dogpiling on them.
That is not a good feeling to me. I feel like they're already getting it enough.
But I'm just saying I'm not going to be that person. And I don't know if it's necessarily a soft spot or what.
When I see that everybody is dogpiling on somebody who's really trying to like, like Jax, for instance, with somebody who's really trying to do something like every day, you got to do this every day. When I stopped drinking, I smoked a lot of cigarettes and I drank all day.
And to stop doing that takes, it's like an all day, every day challenge.

And you don't have anything numbing you.

All you have to distract you is just trying to keep yourself busy and focused.

And on top of that, your world is crumbling.

So it's like Jax's world is kind of, is crumbling, you know, going through divorce, all that stuff.

He's got, you know, Cruz and, you know, he's been getting a lot of hate and stuff like that.

And for him to be sober during this time,

I told him,

I sent him the last text I sent him was like,

listen,

you are being very powerful right now.

Do not let anybody else take your power away from you.

What do you say?

He really appreciated it.

Cause I saw some shit came out about him and just like dogging him.

And I'm like,

you know,

this to me feels like something that would be like, fuck it. nobody really gives a shit it's all for nothing i'm just gonna fucking go out and get shit face and do some coke do you think i should be open to giving him a little bit more grace yeah i mean look that's up to you i'm not bad but i'm asking your opinion i think so okay i think so i think it's one of those things where jack's loved famously loved to say on every reunion he would be like you know i'm just i'm working on myself i'm a work in progress but like it was like he just was saying that shit it's like he had like a he had like a pull string you know though you pull it and he'd say like 10 different things you know what i mean and that was one, but now he's actually doing it.
So that's where I got to give him credit. And to me, that's evolving.
And also I think having a son and knowing, I mean, obviously you having a daughter, it's like, you know, that you are a model for that person. You know, you're an example of life and how to be.
And I think that is really starting to like hit him um if it you know if it hasn't already i don't hang out with jacks like a ton i don't but you know you can consider him a friend or just someone you're supporting from afar i consider jacks a friend um and i mean we're not like we don't hang out and talk every day you know what i mean yeah i don't have like a ton of people that i do that with as it is but you don't have any animosity or we're not like, we don't hang out and talk every day. You know what I mean?

I don't have like a ton of people that I do that with as it is. But you don't have any animosity or you're not like, you're not distancing yourself.
Not this week. No, I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding. Fair enough.
I just wasn't. No, we're cool.
You know, he's Jax. He annoys me sometimes, but I've known him for a long time.
And that's, you know, that's just who he is. And that's our friendship.
And he stays in that place of our friendship where it's at.

And it's cool.

But when I see somebody who's really, really actually doing something, doing something,

when I see somebody piling on them, it's like I feel as a friend that I need to encourage him. And I will.

And I will encourage him and I will champion for him. And will be there for him.
Cause I know what it's like. I know what it's like when people lose hope in you and like completely give up on you.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Man, I'm proud of you, man.
Like you've really, you've come a long way. Thanks man.
And I think, you know, I think people are seeing, you know, I mean fucking the internet's everything. We're throwing the words the rules like narcissists and blah blah blah and it's just like you're hardly perfect that's for sure and certainly at times can be self-centered and selfish and so as are but like you know i hate it when people like dehumanize people for making mistakes and things like that and i'm glad people whether they want to like you or not or whether they want to fuck with you or not, whether they would introduce you to your sister or not, I'm glad they can see the human side of you, because I feel like they lost that a little bit.
Yeah. It's nice to see.
Even my mom was like, because my mom watched a show. Vanderpump? Yeah.
So what did you, when you. So she told me, and she was like, no, no, no.
And what did you say to your mom? I was like, give him a chance.

I really like him.

And what does mom say to him?

She had to meet him and she had to like, you know,

it took a minute, but now she loves him.

She absolutely loves him.

My dad absolutely loves him.

Really?

Whose idea was it getting a couples therapy?

My mom actually suggested it.

I feel like it was kind of a suggestion for all of us but i was very adamant about it to say her mom because i i try to because my mom does that herself you know sometimes you come up with the same idea around whatever but we you know we we noticed some things happening especially with you know her like peeling back the layers of the onion and like like finding shit out it was creating stuff like and it had and it and it continued to but we had to figure out a healthy way to deal with that and on top of that i was like it's so much easier to learn good habits now to prevent unlearn habits yeah bad habits yeah i mean therapy is it's it's that better when used like a bicycle helmet rather than reconstructive surgery. I always say.
That's good. What's your favorite thing about Victoria? Well, as gorgeous and beautiful as she is, she's so down to earth, so cool and just so loving and so nurturing she's really fun and spontaneous we're really spontaneous together at times and we push each other we really kind of like pick up where the other one leaves off we had the best first date ever you're about to go there ever why it just was like first date it was just like first of all it like kind of came together like last second it was like oh i'm like are we get wait should we do this date we planned on having a date but like let's not and i was like you Let's do it.
And so. You're pretty exhausted.
Yeah. And so we,

you know.

And then we had it at Craig's.

Yes.

Back at Craig's.

Deliberately because that's where you guys met

or that was just.

No, it just happened.

We both had a place

and we ended up getting.

Espresso martinis.

Yeah, we had some espresso martinis.

Because we're tired.

And we sat down

and we ordered a bunch of food.

She had never had oysters for it.

In fact, she said,

she was like,

you can order. I was like, what do you like? fact she said she was like you can order i was like what do you like and she's like anything but oysters i was like okay can i get some oysters and i ordered some oysters because i was like how long has it been since you've had them like let me like do them up for you like let me add the mignette the everything and i did and i was like just try it once and she tried it and i actually have a video of it but i love them now they want to fuck with seafood he like he just did his little concoction or whatever and i was i was like i can't believe i'm about to try this and then it was great and then we literally just had oysters yesterday and then uh yeah oh then we get up we ended up having sex in the bathroom at craig it was her idea sorry sorry craig yeah not only craig cares yeah i think he likes that actually yeah and then we like i think there's a lot more weird things that go on in the at those bathrooms we ended up rushing into like uh what Was at the Naughty Pig.
Naughty Pig. Went and just ran in there.
On your first date? Yeah. Sex in Craig's bathroom? Yes.
Yeah. And then- Which, men's or women's? Women's.
Yeah. And then right after that, we just ran in.
In the stall? The gender neutral. The gender neutral one that's just one.
You close it, it's just one person. Oh, okay.
Yeah. That's discreet.
And then we ended up running into the Naughty Pig and taking like the best Polaroids. Pretty racy.
And then we ended up at, what was it? I thought that was it. Oh no, we went to Barney's.
Barney's, yeah, we went to Barney's. And then, yeah.
And then we ended ended up getting the food to go and then we ate it like we got home we had a fun little red bag yeah but we won't tell the details and then like the second date start the next morning yeah yeah yeah okay obviously when you met tom you had to hear about his past but when you met Tom, you had to hear about his past.

But when you met Tom, we also had to hear a little bit about yours and some of the people you've dated in the past.

Oh, gosh.

Do you care?

Like, do you care about that?

I mean-

Like, do you care about people talking about your past?

Are you-

Okay, which one?

What's-

Well, you have a-

You have a couple-

You know, you have a couple famous boyfriends, no?

Which one are you talking about? Wait, can I get some more whiskey? Did you date Leo? Is that true? Yeah, not true? I'll get a little more whiskey Tom needs a drink No, it doesn't I thought you were a virgin What? Sorry to break it to't i mean um so we thought you were a virgin what sorry to break it to you so um him and i are still really good we're not really good friends now we um if we see each other in passing cool we're cool yeah i'm actually closer to toby toby mcguire it's his really good friend then blue and blue yeah they're great he i've introduced him to blue did you guys date or were you just friends friends that actually was a thing or we had like a little thing or whatever we would hang out like as friends for most of the time and um i think that just like so many girls were so like we would go out and we'd like we'd meet up and then all girls would just like swarm him and just stare at him. And it was just so freaky.

I'm like, oh my God, what is going on?

And then I think he liked the fact that whenever I'd hang out with him, I'd just treat him like a normal person because he is a normal person.

Just very successful and great at his job. And we had a little thing, but we weren't in a relationship.

Cool. Yeah.
Do you have other famous exes? There's one I'm not going to really bring up. And then the other one I don't really like right now or ever because he wasn't very nice.
But I won't bring him up either. They don't deserve that from me.
Understood. Where do you stand with the rest of your like like lala are you pretty much kind of that was work and you kind of moved on and and it's you and schwartz and kind of no one else or have you no i actually was talking to sheena i know she was when she was on the mass singer we were talking about that and i talked to lala you know a couple weeks ago or so checked in i mean obviously we're in different places in our life and we're both homebodies in our own way.
But yeah, I mean, I still talk to some people like now and again, you know what I mean? It's just, it's one of those things. Like when you're on a reality show like that for 12 years and you're not filming, it's like you almost get used to just like cutting yourself off kind of for a little bit, like from everybody here, because you really enjoy the time away.
So it's like, we're almost like having to like learn how to like reconnect again in a, in a way where it's like, we don't have to watch what we say. We don't have to, you know, and which has been, I gotta say, man, obviously the way the show got canceled, it's, or not canceled, but recasted.
It sucked to find out like that and to have it happen then but it's been really nice like i'm really enjoying like being in a relationship with somebody who you know doesn't have to go through that where we're not getting questioned on what we had for dinner like last night and then you know how many times i wiped my ass in the morning like it's literally like if it's so it feels so invasive man and it's so nice would you guys ever if bravo called oh they're actually calling right now hello bravo hey oh yeah babe you want to do it what you're so funny she said you're so funny we'll talk later sorry i wasn't that good but we'll use that in front of us but no yes you don't care don't want to leave anything's possible but i mean i like the idea of not really doing it does seem a bit toxic from what I've seen. They don't have your relationship in their best interest.
Yeah, what you said earlier, they cut things in certain shows that I've noticed now that I'm watching more of reality stuff and can make somebody look a certain way and whatever. I don't know.
But it depends on what kind of show it would be yeah and one thing that would be one thing that would be different if they did do something is it wouldn't be vanderpump rules again it would be coming i'm sure it would be coming into something sort of a different experience because what ends up happening is like her being my girlfriend it's like she would just be tom's girlfriend instead of like victoria lee robinson coming into a situation like now or if they did something different or pivoted she would come in on an equal playing field because you know i don't know if you've noticed on vanderpump rules but like the new people that come in there's a lot of like i don't do it but there's a lot of hazing that goes on and a lot of like ganging up on the new person there's like a yeah i've never been that way i've always been the opposite what would be nice is if that did happen at least there wouldn't be that you wouldn't be getting hazed by people the way you would have if you would have came on vanderpump rules like you would have ganged up on or felt like you didn't have a voice i think i would be fine I think yeah you'd kick some ass actually she's a badass as far as your guys'

relationship rules like you would have ganged up on or felt like you didn't have a voice i think i would be fine i think yeah you'd kick some ass actually uh as far as your guys's relationship are you guys taking it easy slow like like do you believe in marriage yeah do you guys talk about that stuff yet or is it too soon yeah we talk about it okay we have to talk about it like i said earlier it's like if we're not on the same page i don't want to waste my time but that's what you guys both want we're not saying we're gonna get married right now or anything listen like you said like you said you're adults i mean it is part of the plan though we did talk about having sex in outer space good for you we did we did i looked it up i looked it up and nobody has done it yet and so i'm like you're gonna have sex in our bathroom hopefully we'll be the first ones to do outer space. So what's the deal with you and Chrishell? Well, I'll tell you a story, actually.
For Valentine's Day, we went back to Craig's. Because it was right after our one-year anniversary.
And we had dinner there. And it was so funny.
We were walking into Craig's. They're asking me.
TMZ's there. And they're like, hey, so.
Because it's in the midst traitors. And they're like, so like, what's going on with you and Chris show? Blah, blah, blah.
Like asking me. And I'm like, oh, we're best friends.
We're like, you know, just joking around. They go in there.
And then we're sitting there at dinner. We end up running into Tara Reid and her boyfriend, Nate.
And Tara? Yeah. Tara.
Yes. She's so sweet.
She's super cool. Oh, yeah.
You were. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. She was at Craig's that night, too, when you guys met.
Yeah. We actually ended up to be a double date.
Yeah, we ended up making a double date. Her boyfriend, Nate, is so cool.
She's very sweet. She's a sweetheart.
She's super cool. She looks great now, too, by the way.
Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh.
She looks really good. Yeah, so we're there.
And get up. We're all talking we're like get up use the bathroom and i walk by the same room we were in and i see a group of people standing up to like take a picture and uh that you guys were in yeah that we were in were in after Special Forces.
The private room.

Yeah, the private room.

And I lock eyes with Chrishell.

She's in that room taking a picture.

And I was like, holy shit, babe.

Chrishell's in that room.

And I was like, we came back.

And I was like, you know what?

I'm going to send them.

I knew she saw me too.

It just happened to be one of those things I looked in. And we literally looked at each other.
And she looked away. And I was like, oh, what? I'm going to send them.
I knew she saw me too. Like it just happened to be one of those things I looked in and it was like, we literally looked at each other and she like looked away and I was like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.
And Tom has one drink and he's already like, because we don't really drink. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to send them around the shots.
And so I sent them around the shots and the waiter told me, they're like, are you kidding me? What? Like I was just like you know let's uh you know what i mean let's let it let's slip by god's butt you know what i mean like yeah i mean there's not really any real beef between you two is there no i mean it was i guess she's friends with your ex or whatever and she wanted to have her back or something god her story has changed quite a bit it went from i remember when i watched i one. I mean, I got sent that part of the podcast, that clip.
What part of the podcast? When she was here. When she was here, yeah.
I forgot what she said. She said something along the lines of, I went up to Tom to tell him that I followed Ariana on Instagram.
Sure. Like she's a girl's girl or something? and i'm like when we did special forces and obviously like you have a certain feeling towards me like i get it i fully get it and especially back then like i fully understand i didn't go on special forces even knowing that you had said a lot of shit about me or whatever, I didn't take anything out on you.

I didn't treat you any way.

And in fact,

I felt like we bonded.

Yeah.

And you definitely don't,

you,

to your credit,

like you said,

you don't,

I don't do that. You don't stoop to whether it's stooping to people's level or fighting fire

with fire.

You,

you don't do that.

No,

and I,

I don't do that.

I don't like to do that.

I don't,

I don't think it's cool.

And,

you know,

so going into something like that, we shared a car together on the way to the castle for the first time and dolores was there and i think jeremy was in the car and we're all just like talking and just like whatever like and she was like you know i just so you know i follow ariana on instagram and i'm like that's totally cool i get it you're a a girl. She's massively successful.
She's a hero now. I fully understand.
I also like Sierra's there. I know Sierra follows her.
I know Dorinda follows her. Dolores.
I knew probably if these are reality women in a castle on traders, I'm assuming that at least 50% of them probably follow my acts. It's no big deal.
When we took our blindfolds off, you know, as a poker player, do you ever play poker? I don't play all the time, but you play. When somebody like sits up in their seat and they look down and they like have to like readjust themselves and they're like thinking about what's okay.
I got to like, that's what

happened when we took the blindfolds off. I clocked it.
Tony right next to her clocked it. Like I asked Danielle, she, I said, give me, give me two names.
And one of them was Chrishell, even though she was a traitor. But anyways, that's all it was is I was just trying to play the game.
and when I brought that up, her reaction to me, I didn't see it at the time. I didn't see it as a possibility.
I'm like, there's only two reasons why somebody would react this way. Because when you see traitors go after each other, you'll notice they throw more personal digs in.
You know what I mean? Like, if you watch, like, when somebody else gets accused, like, who's not a traitor,'re just like okay i understand what you feel i'm definitely not a traitor i'm a faithful this is why this is why they don't go oh yeah well your mother never loved you or like you know they don't sit there and say that shit you definitely saw bob the drag queen and like boston rob doing that you saw carolyn and like danielle doing that because they're traitors because they're being really defensive. That's what I thought initially when I, when she said that I was mortified when she like brought up the whole scandal.
So you're just like, yeah, you must be. So I thought that initially and her story changed immediately from I follow Ariana on Instagram to now change to Ariana and I are friends.
So you're personally coming after me.

And she really has been trying to like sell that story, which is bullshit.

And she knows it because she's changed it back to on your podcast.

Like, we're not even really friends.

Like, yeah, we, you know, we follow each other.

And we don't sound like we talk like it was annoying to see that happen.

And later on, as I realized that she's not a traitor, I'm like, okay, why is she doing

this?

She's not doing this because she's a traitor being defensive.

She's doing it to ride the coattails of the scandal, knowing that she'll have a platform

of people that already hate me that will fucking get behind her.

And that's exactly what happened.

What are your thoughts on that? It's possible. I mean, I think Michelle's very, you know, Michelle's no dummy, you know.
Oh, yeah, you should have seen it too. They edited this part out.
Like after she said all that stuff, like I could see you doing this because you know what you're capable of, all this. Right after she was done saying that, she goes like this, she goes, I don't even feel safe being this, like this like comfortable being this close to you like while we were sitting at the run it was like a full thing and i'm sorry like i gotta put her on blast like that was some fucking bullshit and it like hurt my feelings it hurt me and she keeps trying to like paint this picture which i obviously wasn't and you know and then she goes on to watch what happens live and says that like I was sweating because I had lots of coke and I had sugar running through my veins that's not cool she said that she said that she accused you of she literally goes oh oh oh oh he had lots of coke and there was lots of sugar running through his veins.
Okay. Yeah.
That's not nice. A little dirty.
Yeah. So I just wanted you to be aware of that, because I saw what she said on your podcast, and I was like, what? I was like, what? I would, if I were you, I'd be upset.
Yeah, it was frustrating to deal with. And I did not talk to that girl.
She also added in nice little things like, oh, all he did was talk about himself. And I don't know if you remember me eating in the castle standing up all the time.
I literally would eat standing up so I could go around and just try to figure out who the traders were. We didn't have time to talk about shit like that.
Hey, listen, reality TV, I mean, I know that happens happens i know like in bachelor world it's not as toxic as bravo world but like you know if you're popular people want to fuck with you and if you're not popular people will like to pile on because like you know it's good for their engagement you know yeah it happens sadly but yeah i just i noticed that because it had it had been sent my way and i was just like what i was like what is this shit? It's all good, though. I mean, you know, whatever.
I wish you the best. Go do your own thing.
But, like, just fucking leave me alone. Just fucking leave me alone.
All right. Well, we'll end it on that.
Tom, thanks for coming back, man. Dude, thank you, man.
I'm glad this episode went so much different in the best possible way. Yeah.
Victoria, it was an absolute pleasure meeting you and getting to know you. Thank you for having me.
You guys seem like a really great couple. Thanks, man.
I'm really happy for you guys. I'm so happy for you too.
You and Natalie. Yeah.
Oh my gosh, River Rose. I wish she was here.
I'm so... She wishes she was here too.
She's not, unfortunately, feeling the best. But I'm just really happy for you guys.
I'm happy for you. I'm glad you were able to turn a corner.
And, you know, like as I got to know you on Special Forces, it did like, I know you don't believe this, but like, you know, it was frustrating to see you be. It felt like you were being resistant to just turning a fucking corner and growing from that experience.
And it clearly seems like that has happened. and often is the case like when we meet a good woman, us men it can really help us if we're willing to do the work and it seems like you have I'm really happy for you man.
I'm inspired I'm proud of you. Thanks baby Alright well wishing you guys the best and maybe we'll get invited to the wedding.
Yeah Hell yeah We want to do a little spontaneous thing Thanks for little spontaneous thing. Yeah.
Thanks for coming guys. Yeah.
We like spontaneous. Thanks for listening guys.
I hope you enjoyed this episode. Thank you Nick.
We'll see you tomorrow. The Volf House is brought to you by Progressive Insurance.
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