E911 Going Deeper – Tom Sandoval and Victoria Lee Robinson

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Speaker 1 You're crazy.

Speaker 1 You guys ready? Should we cheers first? Let's cheers. Yes,

Speaker 1 Tom. Cheers.

Speaker 1 Welcome back. Victoria, welcome to the Vile Fowles.
Thanks for having me back.

Speaker 1 Great to have you guys back. Cheers.
Let's take a sip. Yes.
This is Tom's. Yes.

Speaker 1 It's called Tom's. It's called Tom's.
Tom's Good Loving.

Speaker 1 Brought to you by the good men of Tom Schwartz and Tom Sandoval. Yes.
It's a port blended bourbon. Oh, my God, it's strong.
It's 90%. Wow.

Speaker 1 It's like a tiny sip.

Speaker 1 It's good. Right? It's good.
It's smooth, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 You feel like you taste the port finish on the end?

Speaker 1 I got to say, I'm not a connoisseur. It's very good, though.
Thank you, man. I appreciate that.
And absolutely drink it. I will absolutely drink it.
I am absolutely drinking it.

Speaker 1 Tom, I'm really excited to have you here.

Speaker 1 I was a little nervous coming back here. Yeah, I would imagine.
I honestly thought there was no way you would come back on the show.

Speaker 1 It took some convincing on your part, and uh, Dylan helped, Dylan Efron. Thank you.
Definitely helped. That was, uh, we appreciate Dylan.
Yeah, yeah, I think a lot of people

Speaker 1 will be surprised to see you here as well. Good.
We like surprises. We do like surprises.
Do you want to talk about the first episode at all? Man,

Speaker 1 that was a lot. I um, I was going through a lot.

Speaker 1 Obviously, I was in a very different place in my life, and yeah, I mean first off I know that we had talked like it which was it was my fault like we had texted that we were you know I'm glad you acknowledged that no it was fully I was actually there right before he showed up like I was with him you were oh you were you guys were you guys were dating then yeah I was with him he had no clue he

Speaker 1 I actually asked him because he was full on bawling his eyes out right before he even saw you because he was talking to me about his friend all you meant and you mentioned that i'm actually wearing all these and we had a night we had a long night yeah and um yeah i i asked him like the night before and i was like do you have anything tomorrow he goes no no i'm good and then all of a sudden call comes and i'm like are you kidding me i'm like this could not be more terrible

Speaker 1 what happened was is I had a Google calendar with my manager and we had set up a date for me to come in here.

Speaker 1 And then you had texted me like, you know, I don't know, a few days, five days earlier to change the date but you had texted me directly and so it didn't go on my google calendar but i was like no it's fine it's fine it was my fault i did text you like several times just a reminder okay

Speaker 1 i didn't i didn't know listen we're here now we're here that's all that matters

Speaker 1 it was um

Speaker 1 it was quite the episode yeah it was i had been up

Speaker 1 we we had gone out um i'd been up all night i you know you process grief at different different times.

Speaker 1 And at that point, that was like one of the first times it like really hit me that like about my friend, you know, emotionally and mentally about everything with my friend Ali, who, uh, who had passed away.

Speaker 1 And it just was like, I was just up all night, just like sobbing and like,

Speaker 1 just like talking about him. I was like, really sad because obviously I was like, I really liked her and I really wanted her to meet him and like just that whole situation, you know, just all of it.

Speaker 1 It was the first time he ever poured his heart out, like ever even spoke about him to me. Oh, really? And so, if you notice on your last podcast, his eyes are super puffy.
It was just from crying.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And he was great at all.
Oh, no. I mean, I was.
Oh, he was drinking.

Speaker 1 Sure. Yeah.
Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. We had both been drinking.

Speaker 1 If I would have known, I would have been like, oh, I mean, I would have too. Yeah.
Yeah. I, I just, it can, I completely how long was that? What it's over, it was over a year ago.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So so it was in january i know that you've come a long way thanks man yeah

Speaker 1 i actually wasn't even planning on drinking this week but you're like let's open the bottles like all right okay all right how did you guys meet in the first place we met through a friend um it's kind of funny i

Speaker 1 my well my friend she was like oh do you want to go to this um show

Speaker 1 and I'm being honest, I looked at the phone on a YouTube. Tom Sandable and the most extras.
Most extras. And I'm just being honest, I was like, do I really have to go to this? Like, come on.

Speaker 1 Because it was just, I'm sorry. It wasn't the best video.
It wasn't the best, like, you know, clip that they could have shown me.

Speaker 1 But then, I mean, I show up, I go there, and I swear, I'm almost front row, just like, woo! Like, I'm like, it's so much better in person, first off. And then now I'm like, here I am.

Speaker 1 I don't have no idea how this happened. So you went to a, you're kind of like,

Speaker 1 and I say this with love and kind of fun, but like, you're kind of like a, what? A groupie, you know.

Speaker 1 I didn't feel like you went to a show and you met the star of the show. My friend actually liked him at the time.
Don't worry, you stole him. No, no, I'm not.

Speaker 1 I'm far from when you went to the show, like, and someone's like, Let's go to the show, and it says Tom Sandoval and the most extras.

Speaker 1 Like, how aware of, like, not that I'm, I'm not, I'm not trying to get into Scandival here, but how aware of Scandival. 0%.
0%. Give me a lie detector test.
I don't care who believes me, who does not.

Speaker 1 I had no clue. I mean, to be honest, like, be for real, like, like he probably wishes that i knew about the scandal yeah

Speaker 1 beforehand because i'm finding things out in real time i'm going through my phone my algorithms fully changed well past tense

Speaker 1 and i'm like during the relationship i'm looking over i'm like

Speaker 1 just giving a dirty look and he's like what did i do and i'm like you did what where are you kidding me what if you would have known how would that what do you think that would have done i mean i would have not thought the same about him whatsoever Like, I got to know him not knowing anything and hearing his sides of whatever.

Speaker 1 And, you know, like I said, I've definitely seen not so great things that, if anything,

Speaker 1 the nicest way I could say this,

Speaker 1 if I was the other girl, if I was his ex and there was a little secret camera, I've definitely feel like I've been his karma.

Speaker 1 What do you mean by that? Meaning, like, I've given him a lot of shit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because I'm a girl and like, I've never cheated in my entire life. I would never be a homewrecker.

Speaker 1 And I just, I'm not for any of that. And he, I think he was matched with me for a reason because he has grown so much.
I'm so proud of him. I really am.
And,

Speaker 1 you know, I think that he needed a little child. She kicks my ass.

Speaker 1 It's like, you know, I don't anymore.

Speaker 1 If she would have seen everything that happened, you know, it's like time goes by, you get over it, you've been there, done that.

Speaker 1 But it's like, as I would have almost rather her have done that, you know, had that happen, you know, beforehand, because then it's like, you know, we're, we're getting deeper into the relationship and it's like, oh, she's seeing this.

Speaker 1 Somebody sent her this. Somebody tagged her in this.
Somebody, and it's like,

Speaker 1 well, and it scares the shit out of me. Yeah, of course.

Speaker 1 I fully understand.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Well, I mean, the person I'm fully in love with and I'm like, just looking at him, I'm like,

Speaker 1 I can't.

Speaker 1 How shortly after you got, you go to the show, you meet them. Yeah, I want to, I want to, because we kind of breezed over that.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So she came to the show, and then I had to leave right away because we were filming our finale. It was season 11 finale in San Francisco, Cal Chan's event.
So I had to leave directly after that.

Speaker 1 I never even met her that night. And then cut to our premiere part, our premiere of

Speaker 1 Special Forces. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 So do you, you were you there i'm trying to remember were you there at craig's yeah yeah you were there right yes okay so do you remember two girls coming up and oh he would you were there oh wait with jojo seewa like we after dinner we left pretty quickly yeah so they so her and her friend came towards the end and they knocked on the door because she recognized me from well like i said my friend my friend likes my friend likes or from uh yeah from the most extra show that she went to she was like oh that's that guy that you whatever And, and so your friend was in the middle of the day.

Speaker 1 So my friend, my friend had a crush on him. They didn't like really know each other or anything.
Did your friend know about

Speaker 1 no, she didn't know. No.
Oh, really? Her friend did. Oh, okay.
She and was telling her about it. Okay.
Does that make sense? So somebody's mom told our another mutual friend. Does this make sense?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. So we were a group of three friends.
She did not know about it. The other one's mom told the other girl, which told her, you know, and I'm, I'm dating this other guy at the time.

Speaker 1 I'm not even paying attention. Like, I'm fully dating another guy.
Um, like boyfriend and girlfriend, or just dating, just dating, but like, we were dating, dating. Like,

Speaker 1 um, so that night at Craig's, I was like, go say something. He's right there.
He's just a normal person. Just say something.

Speaker 1 And then, so I walked her over because I was trying to help her out, you know. And

Speaker 1 we all ended up hanging out afterwards. I don't know if you remember.
I was like, hey, you guys want to go do like karaoke or something? I do remember something about karaoke being mentioned. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And like, JoJo was kind of into it.

Speaker 1 There was a couple other people that were into it i was like do you want to come with us or meet us over there and we were gonna went to saddle ranch and then nobody ended up showing up so it was just the three of us

Speaker 1 and so we hung out and we ended up like hanging out and like just we had a great night but it was uh it was pretty obvious like i wasn't into her friend and i and i was not that i was into her or anything i just was like we're just having a good time it's very casual and then like

Speaker 1 months went by like we're talking like end of October. Oh, you can rewind there.
Like, so she, my friend, tried to kiss him.

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 1 Tried to kiss him. And he just panicked and shoves like a candle of him and Schwartz.
Like, like some, what was that? Oh, there's these like church candles

Speaker 1 that we have that are like. Schwartz is Joseph and me is like baby Jesus in his arms and the trumpet.

Speaker 1 He just panics and looks down and goes, do you want to kiss him? They're like, I didn't make that candle. it a candle with you.
Somebody made these candles.

Speaker 1 We would sell them at Tom Tom because I had the Tom Tom clock. It's a funny, it's a spoof candle.
Gotcha. And so

Speaker 1 I just was like, oh, here, do you want a candle? And like, I don't know. I kind of panicked.
I wasn't like, my, my mindset was not there.

Speaker 1 And then on the car on the way back home, because I was taking her home, I was like, I don't. think that he really likes you.
And she's like, no shit. He gave me a candle.

Speaker 1 And then she started dating another guy. guy okay and months went by then we hung out on halloween yeah and on halloween

Speaker 1 i broke it off with my guy okay you okay

Speaker 1 that was like you were hanging out with time you just call him hey yeah like while you were hanging out with time so this the first night we actually like really hung out like Before then and when me and the other girl and him would hang out, him and I would vibe more like because we listen to the same music and she listens completely different music.

Speaker 1 And I bond with people on music.

Speaker 1 But it was more of like, whenever I have a girlfriend that likes a guy, I bro them out. I'm like, what's up, dude? Like, whatever.
Like, I'm very respectful. And we were.

Speaker 1 I didn't think of Tom like that at all, like, whatsoever.

Speaker 1 Um, but I think, like, the music, like, you know, getting to know him, like, not hearing about all the stuff that he did in the past, like, he's a good guy. We, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then months went by before we actually, like, we were friends at first. So we hung out on Halloween.
Yeah. Nothing happened.
And then, like, you know, a while went by.

Speaker 1 And then finally, we, we slowly slowly just kind of, yeah. I got the okay.
I was like, hey, is this weird? And she was like, no, not at all. I'm fully like in love with my boyfriend.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't care. By that point, it had probably been like five,

Speaker 1 five months. So at what point did you find out about Scandinav? Like, was it before this? So we started hanging out.
And he's, you know, he would get drunk.

Speaker 1 And because we would go out and stuff and he would get drunk and he would, you know, he would be in his feelings.

Speaker 1 And also, like, I started hanging out with him with all of these bombs started coming in.

Speaker 1 It was like, once we like started like spending the night with, you know, each other or whatever, I'm like, waking up, like, whatnot, what, whatnot? Oh, my God, what's this morning?

Speaker 1 And I'm like, that was very, uh, I mean, it's very heavy. I was, I was waking up daily to like stuff.
Like, it just was, it was never ending. And

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 It was, it was rough, obviously.

Speaker 1 But how did you, I mean, despite whatever your critics or whatever, but, you know, whether people think you deserved it or not, the hate that you received, the harassment that you received, like, how did you deal with that?

Speaker 1 Because it's, I mean, it's, it was heavy, man. It was.
At first, I was

Speaker 1 drinking like crazy. Okay.
And then I, I realized like this is a,

Speaker 1 I mean, even leading up to all of that, I was drinking all the time, like almost pretty much every day, all day.

Speaker 1 And just like, constantly just numbing myself to my life and shit.

Speaker 1 And anyways, and then po you know after that it didn't stop and then finally i was like there's so many things that i can't help you know like i can't help like all these things but there's certain things i can control and so i stopped drinking i stopped smoking cigarettes i just started working out and just like focusing on all the things that i could actually do that made me feel better i started doing guided meditation i was seeing a therapist just kept busy and honestly like we had tour dates booked booked, like,

Speaker 1 you know, from when this, like, before this, all this broke, you know, and I had to go out and do that.

Speaker 1 I look back at it as a very empowering moment and for myself, because I had to walk out with people that had scumbag and cheaters and women with a mustache and all this shit in the audience, wondering, like, what the fuck they're going to see when they like come, you know, come out there, like, why they're, they're just here to witness whatever it is.

Speaker 1 The spectacle. The spectacle of it all.
And I had to like go out there stone sober, look at these people in their fucking eyeballs and be a lead singer of a cover band.

Speaker 1 Like I, it was, it was like bungee jumping every show. And, but I'm so glad that I did it.
I had people telling me, cancel it, cancel it.

Speaker 1 If we would have canceled these shows, the band would have dissolved and it never would have,

Speaker 1 it would have been done and I would not have gotten anywhere. But it was like, no, I need to like face it, go for it and do it.

Speaker 1 And I'm so glad that I did because these people would show up wanting to like hate or bring signs or whatever. And then they would end up just having such a blast and like rocking out.

Speaker 1 And then, like, you know, as they're leaving, maybe like post a quick video of them being like, yeah, fuck you, Sandoval. Yeah, you suck.
But like, they actually had a great time.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? No, you know, I know. They're like, for the record, we did not have fun here.
Okay. I've seen that happen.

Speaker 1 I've seen that happen so many times where they'll be like jumping out the air like, take my phone, please, please. Fuck this guy like just for the

Speaker 1 you know for different reasons when i was the villain on the bachelor i definitely had people who like asked for a selfie were super nice and then would like go online and talk you know yeah um so

Speaker 1 i do want to point out for

Speaker 1 for any potential haters and trolls out there they love a timeline you said special forces premiere And technically, it wasn't the premiere because I don't want people to be like, oh, you Halloween.

Speaker 1 I think because it premiered, and I forgot when it premiered, but that was a night, night, that was the day we all, the cast got together for the first time. It was like the press.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was like the press junk it for it. So that was before the premiere.
So I don't, you know,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't want people to call you guys out on timelines if all of a sudden that was like, oh, that's not good.

Speaker 1 I don't know, you know,

Speaker 1 I just want to protect you guys in that department. So what was that like for you? I mean, when, I mean, I know you, so you heard about Scandival.
The world hates him.

Speaker 1 You know, everyone's just like, don't date this guy. I have said things.
You know, I've. You've said a lot.
I've said a lot. I, you know, I've, you know,

Speaker 1 we talk about reality TV on this show. I've spent a week with Tom on Special Forces.
It was a very interesting time. You know, like everyone else, he was like America's number one villain.

Speaker 1 And I had no idea about Tom. And like everyone on that cast, everyone bonded.
And it was. Wait, you had no idea about me? No, no, no.
Oh, oh.

Speaker 1 Not the person. Oh, oh.

Speaker 1 I knew Scandoval. I knew about you as the character, you know, but I never met you.
And like, and we always say that.

Speaker 1 Like when we talk, when we talk about people on TV, it's just like, there's an edit. Like, we don't know these people.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm definitely allow myself to be wrong about my opinions that I say on the show. If I have never met him in person, like, I definitely don't always believe the edit, so to speak.

Speaker 1 That's what I mean by that. Oh, yeah.
Okay. You know, since then, you know, like, I got to know Tom a little bit, you know,

Speaker 1 for his strengths and his weaknesses and things like that. I forgot where I was going with this, but yeah.
Well, I guess the point was, is this like.

Speaker 1 I'm glad you can say that because that happens with me sometimes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You get long-winded.

Speaker 1 But I guess, and I've said this on the show multiple times, like, and I'll, you know, I say, like, Tom, I'm very critical of, I don't even know if you're friends with him, Jax Taylor. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I've said this on the show, so I'll say it to your face.

Speaker 1 I said, I'll say the difference between Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval is I think Tom actually wants to be a good person, whether you think he is or not, whether you agree with his moral compass or not.

Speaker 1 I think there's a sincere effort where I don't think Jax Taylor gives a shit. I honestly don't know if there's a human being inside there.
Oh, there's definitely a human being. And,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 I know, look, Jax, me and Jax are very different people, but, you know, there is a human being in there. He's just, he's just a, he's just a different kind of dude.

Speaker 1 And, and, but I do understand why you would think that. I understand why you would think that.
Yeah, I, I mean, yeah. And again,

Speaker 1 I know better than you. I know the same thing.
I know, I know him. I know, I know him a little bit, but I know you better.

Speaker 1 And like, for example, like when I say more, I don't, I don't think think we have the same moral compass. Like, I think there's, you know, no one does to a certain extent.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 But, you know, you have, you have different rules, you know, and I have different rules. We all have different rules and boundaries, whatever.

Speaker 1 But I think a lot of criticism, this is back to my direct question for Victoria. I think most people, even if they were like meeting Tom and they would say, you know what? I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's like, I met him. It's not a bad guy, but like, I don't know if I let him date my sister type of thing.
You know? It's like, yeah, sure, I'll hang out with the guy. He's a good hang.

Speaker 1 He's a good friend, but I don't know if I would trust, I wouldn't introduce him to my sister or a friend that's a girl. And so I'm sure you heard stuff like that.
Oh. How did you process that?

Speaker 1 And, you know, how much did you kind of, you know, we've all been the person who wants to change someone, that wants to fix someone, that wants to be like, you know what?

Speaker 1 Yeah, maybe they were bad before me, but I will turn them around. Fix them.
Fix them. Like, how did you wrestle with those criticisms, those voices, maybe those even internal thoughts?

Speaker 1 Like, how did you deal with that and kind of get through that so that you, your relationship could have a fair shot?

Speaker 1 Well, we've both, both been in therapy and I've obviously had to talk to my therapist about this. Okay.
And because it is hard. It's really hard.

Speaker 1 Like going online and hearing like, or like people thinking that I'm some dumb, naive girl or that I'm dying to be on the show

Speaker 1 or whatever else. I've heard it all or just like.
Yeah, I think generally speaking, the internet just assumed you had alternative modes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We got into therapy very early on. It's a couple? It's a couple.
Yes. Wow.
Because I wanted

Speaker 1 individuals.

Speaker 1 Because I was like, hey, you know, we should do, because I was like, we really love each other. So, and my mom actually suggested this.

Speaker 1 She was like, you guys should like start therapy now to kind of prevent anything in the future.

Speaker 1 And I was like, that's a really good idea.

Speaker 1 Now, before get, they go, you develop bad habits for a long time, and then you have to unlearn those bad habits.

Speaker 1 And going back to where I was saying, like, you know, me like seeing something online and like, you know, giving him a little shit, you know, I can't do that forever. I can't, I can't hang on to that.

Speaker 1 I can't always do that. I got to let him grow.
And that's me doing that is like going to stop that. Do you know what I'm saying? No, totally.
It's a total defense mechanism, right?

Speaker 1 It's like it's you kind of making sure

Speaker 1 she

Speaker 1 interpreted it. She fucking checks me, dog.
Well, that's what I'm saying. But I'm saying, like, if anyone who we've all given people second chances, right?

Speaker 1 Friends people we're in relationships with, strangers, you know, people, you know, a second chance for you would have been like, you met this guy, then you find out, oh my God, the internet hates him.

Speaker 1 China and his ex-girlfriend, yada, yada. I'm assuming like you're saying, you're probably giving them shit because it's like, I know, you barely know the guy.
It's a new relationship.

Speaker 1 And you probably, you know, if you, listen, if you weren't at least like one eye open, so to speak, you know, that would have been kind of foolish on your part, right?

Speaker 1 Like you were taking a risk on a guy that maybe, well, it was a risk, right? And now I fully know. Now I'm like, okay, well, now I'm fully in it.
He's my pain in the ass. Like, now I,

Speaker 1 now, and like, all right, this is my pain in the ass. I can deal with it.
I got it. So, can I ask you, Tom, what are some bad habits that you've been able to unlearn?

Speaker 1 I can just tell you that the way I approach relationships is completely different than what it's been in my entire previous of my life. And one thing about everything

Speaker 1 that I went through and put myself through and the situation that I put myself in is that I have to put myself and get myself to a position where I feel like I deserve somebody like her.

Speaker 1 And, you know, there's all these people that are like, oh, I'm going to fix him. I'm going to fix him.
It's not about her fixing me.

Speaker 1 I mean, obviously, I'm all ears and I listen to her when things bother her because sometimes they're just old, like stupid, nonchalant things that you don't really think about that affect a relationship.

Speaker 1 But it really comes down to the person.

Speaker 1 It comes down to me wanting to, you know, earn her love and wanting to be the best I can be and also feeling like in a sense of really guilty in the way that I've been in the past and wanting to be a better person and being really motivated to do so.

Speaker 1 And a lot of the things that I've, you know, changed in my life is like, I don't go out. I don't go out like drinking anymore, like the way that I used to.

Speaker 1 I'm not out all the time, like to all hours of the night. I don't do that shit.

Speaker 1 Also, like, you know, it's been frustrating to me that like the shit that she has to do, I feel very guilty about it, the shit that she constantly has to deal with because of me and because of my fuck up and my mistakes and bad choices.

Speaker 1 And I don't like to say mistakes, by the way. I like to say bad choices because mistakes is like accidentally getting into a car accident.
Bad choices is ownership.

Speaker 1 And I have to take ownership of what I did. It's like a new time i'm just saying that like

Speaker 1 i do feel bad about the shit that she has to deal with it's it's not fair to her but i also just want to say like if people could just please be respectful of my girlfriend and our relationship and our committed relationship i'm in a committed loving awesome relationship like this is my person and you know people girls can be a little like whatever disrespectful and i just want people to like please respect my relationship and where i'm at in my life like i'm serious about where I'm going, what I want to do, our future.

Speaker 1 We have goals. We have things we want to do together.
And I'm all about it. And I'm 100% in.
I think that a part of the reason why so many women feel that they could so easily like disrespect me.

Speaker 1 Like, let's say we're at a show or something. Girls will like come up and just try to like be all over him or like try to kiss him or like whatever.
Like, and I'm sitting right there and I'm like,

Speaker 1 they know it. And I'm like, they know I'm right there.
And she gets

Speaker 1 or they don't sometimes they don't sometimes I do but I think that's coming from of what he did in his past like if I weren't his girlfriend, you know and knowing everything that happened in the past I'd look at him like oh, well, he'd do it again, you know, so yeah, they're all trying to bait him.

Speaker 1 I'm sure yeah, like I had somebody DM me literally like

Speaker 1 recently saying like

Speaker 1 can you come to my wedding? I have lots of hot friends. Like, I'm just like, are you fucking kidding me with that shit? But you're you're a very hot guy.
You're beautiful.

Speaker 1 Beautiful. Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 Come on, get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 Look who's talking. But, like, but that's not.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, we'll tell you some stories. I'm just saying.

Speaker 1 I love.

Speaker 1 I think you like door number two.

Speaker 1 What was I even saying, guys?

Speaker 1 Sorry, Victoria.

Speaker 1 Yeah, this tells you how much I've drank I literally had like a

Speaker 1 oh yeah he'll have one drink now because I have this rule I'm like no drinking before podcast

Speaker 1 no no drinking before like carpets or this or that because it automatically it actually goes to his face like to where like no yes

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Speaker 1 Do you remember the line, I wouldn't cheat that way?

Speaker 1 Is that from a country song or what? That was from, well, I think we did make it into a song. It was on this podcast.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. Are you cherry-picking things? No, no, listen.

Speaker 1 I'm really impressed with the I don't like to call it mistakes. I like to call it bad.
Well, yeah, mistakes is not taking ownership.

Speaker 1 That's a 360-degree different person than the person that was here on this podcast last time.

Speaker 1 But the reason I wanted to ask you that is because, you know, in On Special Forces, when we talked about the whole situation and why I think that whole thing kind of went as long as it did and perpetuated.

Speaker 1 And it kind of felt like every time, whether it was this podcast or Howie's or whatever, you just got like more and more heat, right? And a lot of it was, you know, and I get it.

Speaker 1 Like you were just, whether you were trying to explain yourself or other people thought you were justifying yourself.

Speaker 1 And that's what's so different about the mistakes versus bad choices is like you were talking about how clearly whatever was going on that past relationship you felt like your needs weren't being met i don't think either one of ours sure sure but like it felt like a lot of people were saying like the when when you were talking that way people were taking it as you kind of

Speaker 1 making excuses right so when we were talking i remember at special forces and i was asking you can you at least say like well i would never do this again and you were like kind of resistant to saying that the reason why i was resistant to you nick is because you came in all Dr.

Speaker 1 Phil. And I was warned about you going into special forces.
By who? By my publicist. Okay.
I was warned. No, no, publicist.
I was warned about you.

Speaker 1 I was told that you were going to like, that you had talked a lot of shit, like dragged me. Okay.
That's true. And

Speaker 1 that you were going to try, you were going to take the,

Speaker 1 he's like, just wait. He's going to try to take the opportunity to Dr.
Phil you. And the reason why

Speaker 1 wouldn't make that commitment is because you wanted me to make a vow to you.

Speaker 1 No. No, you said that.
You literally said. I didn't say make a vow to me.
Yes, you did. You said make a promise to me, Nick Vial, Nick Viel, to never cheat again.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, dude, I'm not making any sort of like vow to you, Nick. Okay, agree to disagree.
But

Speaker 1 that's what you asked me to make a vow to you, dude. All right, fair enough.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 I'm just just saying it like with you guys are in couples therapy and all these things right and i'm i guess i'm just curious is like have you guys talked about like you know your your relationships relatively young still very i mean it's been a year or so you guys clearly are connecting clearly in love like have you guys talked about when things get rut bumpy or or rocky how are you going to communicate with each other right and work through things so it doesn't get to a point where not to again relitigate the past or anything like that, that like clearly you two were just like disconnected.

Speaker 1 What do you guys learned in therapy to allow yourselves to be a different relationship than the relationship you had in the past?

Speaker 1 Well, from what I've heard and like seen on the internet and stuff, like they didn't have the same, you know, wants and, you know, with each other.

Speaker 1 But I told them, I'm like, don't waste my time. If you ever want to, you know, go elsewhere, if you ever want to break up, just break up with me.

Speaker 1 And if you're not happy happy with something, I'm like, do we want kids? Like, well, do you want kids? And then, okay, how many do you want? But we have to be on the same page on everything.

Speaker 1 I'm like, don't waste my time. 16 kids.
I know, Tom, you definitely want kids, right? 16 of them. You want 16? No, he does not want 16.
That is not happening.

Speaker 1 I'm not popping out 16 kids, but I'm going to pop out too. You want kids.

Speaker 1 I don't want to go too much in the previous relationship, but there was a major disconnect. Sure.
There was a massive disconnect.

Speaker 1 And it felt more of like a business partnership than anything but it either way whether that was the case or not the way i handled it was absolutely atrocious and thank you and it doesn't matter and i will never ever i mean again like i feel like i've been there done that like i'd never been in a relationship that long i'd never like like as soon as we started dating, everybody's like, when you got to put a ring on.

Speaker 1 It was like immediately we were pushed together,

Speaker 1 which was great in the beginning but as time went on the differences in us really started to shine and instead of us working on it we just sort of just kind of drifted away and it was just something like which is unfortunate it's unfortunate became a comfort thing she's still like yeah man the relationship's over yeah it's done how do you guys help each other in general oh she helps me all the time we should be like each other like do the things because i'm you know again like i'm not to compare right i mean this is relatively new and that you know that was a you know but like you know it felt like you right or wrong it felt like in the past you felt less taken care of that you seem to feel taken care of now and i'm what for you is the difference i don't want to say less i don't want to make it like a taken care of thing like it's all about my needs and all that stuff i don't i don't want to make it like listen i were just

Speaker 1 relationship you independent to take care of each other right yeah you need to connect you you know you you need to take care of each other that's you know and for different reasons in good times and bad you need to when i'm but when i first met him it was a shit show he was so insecure.

Speaker 1 He felt so beat down. I'm, I mean, you know, the world was going after him and everything.
This man is so different now compared to when I first met him. The insecurity, like, he's so beautiful.

Speaker 1 Like, baby. That, that, like, even just so many different, in so many different ways, you were just so insecure.
And now you feel like you're more yourself. You know yourself more.

Speaker 1 I do think that being with me, and so sorry to to mention it again, but like me telling you, like, hey, this isn't cool, like, and

Speaker 1 then I would soften up and I'd be like, would you do these things again? No, it's hard, right? You know, you think you see one thing, you get told another, must be confusing. Yeah.
You know,

Speaker 1 and I know too that like, because of my past and what I've done, like, there's different rules with me now. And that's something that I have to live with.
And I, and I do live with that.

Speaker 1 And I understand that and I accept that.

Speaker 1 You know, I understand that, you know, on a normal, like normal people, you know, that haven't done what I've done, like they can have more freedoms and more things.

Speaker 1 But like as somebody who's done what I've done, like it's, it takes time. It takes time.
And I get that. Well, and another, I mean, it is kind of, it's, it is ridiculous.

Speaker 1 And you've said this and I'll say it, but like, and it doesn't make it okay. But like, no, you know, the internet acted like you invented infidelity, you know, and it's a sad reality of relationships.

Speaker 1 And then like, and I think that's what's fascinating about Scandival because so many people were trying to like understand why it blew up the way it did as if in it just it's still somewhat of a mystery, but it's but it's somewhat I understand

Speaker 1 you were just you became the poster child of that, you know, probably unfairly so but it probably was a good lesson and it seems like as difficult as it was it do you let me ask you this do you feel as shitty as that period was that like you're better for it and Would you trade that whole experience given what progress you seem to have made since?

Speaker 1 Well, it's really look, obviously, if I could go back and change, I would change

Speaker 1 so much.

Speaker 1 I'm not saying, oh, I wouldn't do a dissent, you know, and people, I don't want that people to throw that in your face. I'm just saying meeting her and being with her, it's like, who knows?

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying? And so it definitely gave me a swift kick in the ass, you know what I mean? In so many ways.

Speaker 1 It was a real eye-opener and a real, real true, like hard knocks learning experience.

Speaker 1 And it definitely toughened me up in a lot of ways. And just it gives you a hardcore reality check.

Speaker 1 You also get to see like how, you know, when they call like what I'm doing, being on a reality show a double-edged sword, you see that double-edged sword. You see

Speaker 1 that one side sometimes a lot bigger than the other. But, you know, it's been cool too, like, you know, with moving on, seeing.

Speaker 1 like going and doing something like traders, you know, and special forces and then going to do traders and just like, you know, coming back from something like that and moving on and moving to the future, like how, you know, it, it, it, it becomes exciting to like, you know, go from down here to like keep, you know what I'm saying, like keep moving forward and keep going ahead and seeing new challenges and seeing like light at the end of the tunnel slowly get brighter and brighter and brighter.

Speaker 1 And, and that's been really amazing, especially with her and just in experiences in life, you know?

Speaker 1 Were you surprised, you know, as your time on traders kept going and you were still there and, you know, obviously shocked that people were just you know and so you know you could see it online people were just like begrudgingly being like oh that's

Speaker 1 you know like that must have felt good yeah it did it did actually whether they were laughing with me or at me i know they were laughing did you did you watch it people were people were begrudgingly like rooting for you there was a lot of like yeah you know if nothing else people were glad you were on their television you know

Speaker 1 the they could at least acknowledge they enjoyed watching you you know uh and that yeah like i said that must did you watch it traders yeah yeah yeah how good was the doll the doll challenge it was the best i was laughing my ass off i like this

Speaker 1 moment too i loved like dylan's response to the insect challenges they're like just like pouring on me i that was the one you would have been the same i would have been the same as you oh my god it's

Speaker 1 i was very envious of dylan's ability to like truly not give a fuck and i would have i could have gotten through it you could have gotten through it i would have been like tom where i would suck i would have i would have you know, like I muscled through the whole thing.

Speaker 1 Oh, as soon as I realized, like, I got all these things going to crawl on my hands, I was like, why do I need to see that? I'm just not going to look.

Speaker 1 And I literally imagined like little soft little ducklings and like cute little things crawling on my hands.

Speaker 1 But I'll tell you, it was so gross is like, you got these crickets and you got these freaking like cockroaches on you. And you have like a...

Speaker 1 like a like a snake wrapping around your neck and they're crushing these cockroaches and crickets and things on your neck and they're like biting because they're like, they're like grasping for life.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying? Like, it was, it was really gross.

Speaker 1 Uh, and then, you know, finding like larva and all the larvae or whatever, like in your pockets, like later, and just that was the one thing that I was like really not looking forward to.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't know if you remember like Fear Factor. It's like, I could do all the other stuff, but like, when they start eating, like, eating stuff like that.
That's not for me. No way.

Speaker 1 Did you think that the singing in the telephone challenge was was going to be as hysterical as it was for us? I had no idea. I actually was doing it.
I was like, this is so stupid.

Speaker 1 Like, I thought it was going to be boring and stupid. I didn't think, like, everybody's just like, you know, we're exhausted most of the time.
Like, I was running off no sleep and coffee.

Speaker 1 And you get there, and you could tell when they said this, even myself included, you're looking at this doll.

Speaker 1 You go, okay, so you got to listen to dolls and sing what they're saying backwards into a phone phone so like they can play it forward.

Speaker 1 Everybody, everybody kind of collectively was like, oh, no, somebody else go. Like, oh, no, so like nobody fucking wanted to do that at all.

Speaker 1 And you're like, I'm Tamson. I'm on the most extra.
I was like, do this. I was like, I'll do it.
I'll do it. Cause apparently nobody else here is musically.
They're like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. It's like,

Speaker 1 like asking them to speak another language, which it felt like another language, honestly. Did it feel like a bit of a relief for you to see positive things online for Tom? I loved it.
Of course.

Speaker 1 I loved it. He's like, he's my baby.
I'm like, I'm very, very happy. She was like, of course.

Speaker 1 Because now that I know everything, I'm always like, he doesn't look at anything on the internet. I'm always the one that's telling him stuff now.

Speaker 1 Because before it was so, it was so brutal and so negative that like, he, he didn't want to look at that. And he's still, he just is bad at going on

Speaker 1 Instagram or anything like that. paragraphs of puke emojis before you're just like, ah, I'm good on this.
But like

Speaker 1 before, when it was really negative, I would, um, I'd be like, hey, you want me to go through your DMs? And I'm like, report, report, report. Bye.
Like, because there are Instagrams.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm just like, it was so bad. He would get death threats.
I mean, like, really brutal death threats. We'll find out where I was going and they would be like, I'm going to come meet you.

Speaker 1 And like, I'm going to, like, it would get very

Speaker 1 shockers outside your house at all. Uh,

Speaker 1 there were a few at times. Um, Yeah.
Damn. It sucks.
But now it's now it's like it's great. Yeah, does it feel like life's a little bit back to normal for you? Yeah, yeah, a little bit.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for sure. I mean, definitely more than a little bit.
It's definitely gotten better. And I really appreciate it.
I really appreciate everybody, you know, who was cheering for me, rooting me on.

Speaker 1 Like, I really do appreciate that. It means a lot, you know, especially just,

Speaker 1 yeah. It was really nice.
It was unexpected. Can we talk about your glowing skin? My glowing skin.
Oh, thank you.

Speaker 1 I actually had

Speaker 1 a CO2 peel, Dr. Lakey.
Shout out to Dr. Lakey.
Shout out to Dr. Lakey.
I was hitting up Tom to try to

Speaker 1 consider coming back on the show. And you were like, well, I can't right now.
I literally kept my skins peeling off my face. Did you take care of him in this time? We both did it together.

Speaker 1 It didn't really do much to me.

Speaker 1 Well, you are a bit younger, you know, us old guys. It didn't really do much.

Speaker 1 but we looked insane we looked so crazy

Speaker 1 the first day he wouldn't even look at me i was like babe am i really that ugly yeah it's like you like i've seen other people do this shit online it's i was so swollen is it the same thing tamer judge did i'm not sure

Speaker 1 is it yeah okay it's been confirmed okay

Speaker 1 i saw that and i was like holy shit this is scary but she looked great yeah a couple weeks later it's intense but yeah they they did a great job and it really, it really helped me.

Speaker 1 Why made you want to do that? Just because like I felt like it was something I could use, you know. You got to keep the face card fresh.
Yeah. I mean, I felt like, you know,

Speaker 1 new beginning, moving forward to the future, you know, shed off some of that stress drinking that I did back in the day.

Speaker 1 It was just a healthier lifestyle. It was like.
Yeah, I'm not going to do that shit at all. It's not the drinking all the time anymore.
No, like just taking care of our skin.

Speaker 1 He's been so good about working out. I'm trying.

Speaker 1 Baby, yeah, just like I'm always on him about like, drink water, drink water. Just like, just being healthier in general, it's better for our minds, better for everything.

Speaker 1 I ran into your buddy, Tom Schwartz, yeah, in January, or maybe it was New Year's Eve, and I was like, oh, you've seen much of Sanovo lately. And he kind of gave me the old, like, my friend's in love.

Speaker 1 So I don't see much of him at all.

Speaker 1 I'm just, has the dynamic duo, is it still intact? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Actually, he just came to Minnesota. We were in Minnesota together.
Like, my band was there. He came out there.
I blew the Viking horn. We had a lot of fun.
It was great.

Speaker 1 No, no, just at the show or whatever, but it was really fun. It was, but I just don't go out the way that I used to.

Speaker 1 I've become much more of a homebody and just like focused on getting stuff done, doing things, staying healthy. Yeah.
I can tell you, man, like I took eight months off drinking. It like fully.
No.

Speaker 1 No, not. I was sober for eight months.
Eight months. I just quit.
And I didn't compensate with weed. It wasn't like California sober.
Like I was fully, you know, sober.

Speaker 1 And you got some shit, as sometimes you do, on traders, and people were bringing up like the sweating. Dude.
And

Speaker 1 accusing you of

Speaker 1 taking other substances. You can ask Jax.
Put that to bed. You can ask Jax.
I don't do fucking cocaine. I've never done fucking cocaine.
I will never do cocaine. It's not my jam.
It's not what I do.

Speaker 1 I've never done that shit. That's why it's so annoying is because he really doesn't.

Speaker 1 That's what's so like if I was like a, you know, casual every once in a while user or whatever, I still wouldn't be doing it on that show. But he's actually like against don't do fucking cocaine.

Speaker 1 So that's like, that's why it's so annoying to be accused of something like that. And I can tell you, it sure as hell was hotter than it is in this room right now in that, in that room.

Speaker 1 And it was 23 people all kind of stressed out. And I was wearing a very thick wool sweater and I wasn't feeling great.
And I wasn't the only one. I thought we were done like with our breakfast scene.

Speaker 1 So I'm like, I'm ripping off this giant thick wool sweater immediately. Dylan did the same thing.
They just cut him out. He was literally sitting in a white tank top, like just chilling.

Speaker 1 They're like, dude, you got to put your shirt back on. They told me the same thing.
I was like, I'm fucking dying in here. It's so hot.
Like, it was really hot. Yeah, Dylan did say it was hot too.

Speaker 1 He was like, he was like, I feel lucky that I had a white tank top. Yeah, he also was like, I'm lucky that they didn't show me either because he took a shirt off.

Speaker 1 There was somebody else that pretended like it was

Speaker 1 cold.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I know. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, it's good to hear you cleared that up. Yeah.

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Speaker 1 So what's the future hold for you guys? Honestly, I don't know. I got shows coming up.
I want to get my podcast going again, working on that.

Speaker 1 There was a lot of speculation about how all that in the past affected, like, obviously, your ability to earn income. You were getting a lot of, you know, losing deals.

Speaker 1 And I don't even know if that happened, but like, do you feel? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Okay, that is true.

Speaker 1 Are you in a better situation now? And do you feel like things have taken a turn?

Speaker 1 And in addition to fans letting up and, you know, less and less hate coming your way, do you also feel like, you know, like, like life's not only getting back to normal with relationships or with fans, but also your ability to do your work or make a living.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's definitely, I mean, it's obviously not where it used to be, but it's definitely bouncing back for sure and has gotten better. And there are things happening.

Speaker 1 And I'm really excited about it. Like, it's really awesome.
It feels like a gift, you know, to be able to do that again.

Speaker 1 Cause when you lose something like that for so long, it's like you kind of get used to like, okay, it's never, it's never going to happen again, but it has, it's starting to happen again and it feels really good.

Speaker 1 It feels nice to be, you know, there's other show opportunities coming up and like other things like that. It feels really good for myself because it shows that I am valuable TV.

Speaker 1 I'm valuable being on TV. I'm valuable to a show.
And it felt really good to like hear that and see that with traders and feel that way, even like with Special Forces.

Speaker 1 And I'm sure you felt that way too, because you were very valuable on that show, Special Forces as well. You did great.
I mean, you won. Thanks, buddy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that was a rewarding experience, that show. Yeah.
For all of us. I mean, that show is designed to be rewarding.
And now River Rose gets to see you kick ass and win Special Forces.

Speaker 1 That's got to be an awesome feeling, man. I heard her heartbeat right after

Speaker 1 we got done filming. So it was a very cool.
That's awesome. Very cool experience.
You recently said that Vanderpump was toxic. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Of course, I love it. Do you want to elaborate?

Speaker 1 By the way, by the way, River Rose is so pretty. Yeah.
Oh, my God. The name or just her? The name.

Speaker 1 Both. I'm sure she's a star, too.
She looks like she's.

Speaker 1 I feel like she kind of has your eyes. Well, I think she has my mom or her other grandma's eyes because I have brown eyes, but she has blue eyes.
But I'm just saying the shape.

Speaker 1 She looks like me, though. The shape.

Speaker 1 I love that name. Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 1 That's really cute. Well, if you guys have a kid, you're welcome to.

Speaker 1 But I guess I don't know if you spoke.

Speaker 1 elaborate on that what you meant by that or if that was just a statement but i'm curious what was so great about traders too, and like and special forces, you know, well, it's a different show.

Speaker 1 Yes, with Vanderpump Rules, of course, those shows are toxic. I mean, they're, they're rewarding bad behavior.
Sure.

Speaker 1 You're supposed to show up doing your job, but showing up and having the one conversation about the one thing you don't want to talk about with the one person you don't want to talk about it with.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? The most uncomfortable, awkward, like feel nauseous in your stomach, like dry mouth conversations all the time after, you know, a couple to several drinks. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And maybe like a little bit of lack of sleep if we're on a trip, and at least a little bit of lack of sleep if we're on a trip.

Speaker 1 So it's just, it is, and it's nerve-wracking too, because they film a scene. They film something like me going to meet up with Lala for lunch and it's shot for an hour and a half.

Speaker 1 And if we're lucky, we get five minutes of that. So they have all the power to show, like, which I would see happen in Vanderpump Rules, you know, like,

Speaker 1 if I, if I keep pushing you in the arm pushing you in the arm pushing you in the arm and then you finally go tom stop like you're an asshole stop doing that what they'll do is they'll cut me like pushing you in the arm five times and just get me just get me pushing you you calling me an asshole and then and then they create the debate they create the debate online whose side you on you team nick or you team tom that's and i saw you know i've been on the show with other cast members who abuse that and do that and to try to provoke you because they they kind of because they know they're like they're going to keep heckling you, heckling you, going after you, attacking you, attacking you until you finally snap.

Speaker 1 And then they don't show the heckling, like the lead up to like all the heckling and all the like badgering.

Speaker 1 And then they show you them saying it one time or something once, and then you getting upset. And then cut print on the, you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Like, yeah, speaking of toxic, one person that I've been even more critical than I ever was of you

Speaker 1 was your past castmate, James Kennedy. Yeah.
Who was

Speaker 1 incredibly hard on you when Scandival was going on. And say what you want about what you did, but like for me, what he's been accused of by multiple people, I think is unforgivable.

Speaker 1 And I think it's a certain kind of person that I really don't think you are. Oh, please don't compare me to James Kennedy.
No, he's saying that you're not. Yeah, that's really big.

Speaker 1 I'm literally saying, you know, for all the principles you got, person I've gotten to know.

Speaker 1 Well, despite whatever whatever flaws you may have, I really don't think you're capable of being physical with women.

Speaker 1 And clearly, you know, I felt like, you know, I had gotten to know James a little bit, seemed like a nice guy.

Speaker 1 But then you kind of heard all these rumors in the past, but you just like, you don't really know. And then that stuff comes out.

Speaker 1 And I've since talked more to Chris than Doty, but where do you stand with him at all?

Speaker 1 And do you have any thoughts and feelings on, you know, because quite honestly, I was very disappointed in like how Lisa has handled it and what seemingly she seems to cover for him in ways that I don't think she covered for other people.

Speaker 1 But do you have anything to say on the topic? Yeah, you know, especially considering James and I has past.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was, you know, he was getting chants going like Sandoval's a liar. And, you know, but unlike James Kennedy, I'm not going to kick him while he's down.
I'm sure he's dealing with a lot. But

Speaker 1 with that being said, you know, whether there's alcohol involved or not,

Speaker 1 there's absolutely no excuse for a man to put his hands on a woman. And also, there are a lot of previous other allegations.
And,

Speaker 1 you know, where there's smoke, there's fire. And that's, that's all I want to really say about that.
Can I ask you, why do you think Lisa has the position that she does?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Okay.
I don't know. That's, that's on her.
I,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I understood.
Okay. Yeah.
Well, thanks for allowing me to ask the question because I know you, I'm sure it's not super easy.

Speaker 1 And I think for Jax, like, I'm actually proud of, really, really proud of Jax for being sober because that's got to take a lot.

Speaker 1 Like to own it to the, to the world, you know, that to admit it and everything, that's got to take a lot of courage to even do that in the first place.

Speaker 1 His critics, me being one of them, would say it just seems like every time there's some sort of vulnerability from Jax, it always seems to be right around when a new season of whatever the fuck's coming out.

Speaker 1 And it sometimes comes across as self-promotion. Well, he has, he has been sober.
Like whether it happens to be around the beginning of the season or not,

Speaker 1 he's he's still doing it. You seem to, even Jax, because Jax was really, Jax took advantage of Scandoval to benefit himself.
Yeah, but that's the thing. I'm not Jax.

Speaker 1 You still have a soft spot for Jax. I just, I just don't like to,

Speaker 1 I do not feel good when somebody is down or when they're like going through it, like dogpiling on them. That is not a good feeling to me.

Speaker 1 I feel like they're already getting it enough, but I'm just saying, like, I, I'm not going to do, be that person. And I don't know if it's necessarily a soft spot or what.

Speaker 1 I just, when I see that everybody is dogpiling on somebody who's really trying to like, like Jax, for instance, with somebody who's really trying to do something like every day, you got to do this every day.

Speaker 1 When I stop drinking, stop, I, I smoked a lot of cigarettes and I drank all day. And to stop doing that takes, it's like an all day, everyday challenge.
And you don't have anything numbing you.

Speaker 1 All you have to distract you is just trying to keep yourself busy and focused. And on top of that, your world is crumbling.

Speaker 1 So it's like Jax's world is kind of, is crumbling, you know, going through divorce, all that stuff. He's got, you know, cruise

Speaker 1 and, you know, he's been getting a lot of hate and stuff like that.

Speaker 1 And for him to be sober during this time, I told him, I sent him the last text I sent him was like, listen, you are being very powerful right now.

Speaker 1 Do not let anybody else take your power away from you. What did he say? He really appreciated it because I saw some shit came out about him just like dogging him.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, you know, this to me feels like something that would be like, fuck it. Nobody cares.
Nobody really gives a shit. It's all for nothing.

Speaker 1 I'm just going to fucking go out and get shit face and do some Coke. Do you think I should be open to giving him a little bit more grace? Yeah.
I mean, look, that's up to you.

Speaker 1 I'm not bad, but I'm asking your opinion.

Speaker 1 i think so okay i think so i think it's one of those things where jax loved famously loved to say on every reunion he would be like you know i'm just i'm working on myself i'm a work in progress but like it was like he just was saying that it's like he had like a he had like a pull string you know that you pull it and he'd say like 10 different things you know what i mean and that was one of them but now he's actually doing it so that's where i got to give him credit and to me that's evolving and also i think having a son and knowing i mean obviously you having a daughter it's like you know that you are a model for that person you know you're an example of life and how to be and i think that is really starting to like hit him um if it you know if it hasn't already i don't hang out with jacks like a ton i don't but

Speaker 1 would you can consider him a friend or just someone you're supporting from afar i consider jacks a friend um and i mean we're not like we don't hang out and talk every day. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I don't have like a ton of people that I do that with as it is. But you don't have any animosity or you're not like, you're not distant.
Not this week.

Speaker 1 No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

Speaker 1 Fair enough.

Speaker 1 No, we're cool. You know, he's Jax.
He annoys me sometimes, but I've known him for a long time. And that's, you know, that's just who he is.
And that's our friendship. And that's,

Speaker 1 you know, he stays in that place of our friendship where it's at. And it's cool.

Speaker 1 Like, but when I see somebody who's really, really actually doing something, like doing something, when I see somebody going like piling on them, it's like, I feel as a friend that I need to encourage him and, and, and I will, and I will encourage him and I will champion for him and I will be there for him because I know what it's like.

Speaker 1 I know what it's like when people lose hope in you and like completely give up on you. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, man, I'm proud of you, man.
Like, you've really, you've come a long way. Thanks, man.

Speaker 1 And I think, you know, I think people are seeing, you know, fucking the internet's everything. We're throws the words like narcissists and blah, blah, blah.
And it's just like, you're hardly perfect.

Speaker 1 That's for sure. And certainly at times can be self-centered and selfish.
And so as are. But like, you know, I hate it when people like dehumanize people for making mistakes and things like that.

Speaker 1 And I'm glad people, whether they want to like you or not, or whether they want to fuck with you or not, whether they would introduce you to their, your sister or not, I'm glad they can see like the human side of you because I feel like they lost, they lost lost that a little bit.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Even my mom was like, because my mom watched a show. Oh, yeah, what does she watch a show? Deander Palm? Yeah.
So what did you when you told me and she was like, no, no, no.

Speaker 1 And what did you say to your mom? I was like, I like give him a chance. I really like him.

Speaker 1 And what does mom say to him? She had to meet him and she had to like, you know, it took a minute, but now she loves him. She absolutely loves him.
My dad, my dad absolutely loves him. Really?

Speaker 1 Whose idea was they getting a couples therapy?

Speaker 1 My mom actually should suggest it. I feel like it was kind of a suggestion for all of us, but I was very adamant about it.
I suggested it to your mom.

Speaker 1 I try to. Because my mom does that herself.
You know, sometimes you come up with the same idea around whatever. But

Speaker 1 we noticed some things happening, especially with, you know, her like peeling back the layers of the onion and like

Speaker 1 finding shit out. It was creating stuff.
Like, and it had and it continued to, but we had to figure out a healthy way to deal with that.

Speaker 1 And on top of that, I was like, it's so much easier to learn good habits now than

Speaker 1 unlearned habits. Yeah.
Bad habits later. Yeah.
I mean, therapy is, it's, it's, it's, uh, better when you use like a bicycle helmet rather than reconstructive surgery, I always say. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's good. That's a good, yeah, I like that.
What's your favorite thing about Victoria? Well,

Speaker 1 as

Speaker 1 gorgeous and beautiful as she is, she's so down to earth, so cool, and just so loving and so nurturing. She's really fun and spontaneous.
We're really spontaneous together at times.

Speaker 1 And we push each other. We really kind of like pick up where the other one leaves off.
We had the best first date. I knew we were about together

Speaker 1 ever. Why?

Speaker 1 It just was the best first date. It was just like, first of all, it like kind of came together like last second.
It was like, oh, I'm like, are we going to, wait, should we do this date?

Speaker 1 We planned on having a date, but like, eh, let's not. And it's like, you know what? Fuck it, let's do it.
And so we were pretty exhausted. Yeah.
And so we, you know, I think that we had it at Craigs.

Speaker 1 Yes. And we're back at Craigs.
Deliberately, because that's where you guys met? Or that was just a moment. No, it just happened.
We both got the place and we ended up getting...

Speaker 1 Espresso martinis. Yeah, we had some espresso martinis and we sat down and we ordered a a bunch of food.
She had never had oysters for.

Speaker 1 In fact, she said, she was like, you can order, I was like, what do you like? And she's like, anything but oysters. I was like, okay, can I get some oysters?

Speaker 1 And I ordered some oysters because I was like, how long has it been since you've had them? Like, let me like do them up for you. Like, let me add the mignette, the everything.

Speaker 1 And I did. And I was like, just try it once.
And she tried it. And I actually have a video of it, but her tried to do it.

Speaker 1 I love them.

Speaker 1 I really want to fuck with seafood.

Speaker 1 He just did his little concoction or whatever. And I was, I was like, I can't believe I'm about to try this.
And then it was great. And then you literally just had oysters yesterday.
And then,

Speaker 1 yeah,

Speaker 1 then we get up.

Speaker 1 What's up? You can tell the girls.

Speaker 1 We ended up having sex in the bathroom at Craig's. It was her idea.
Sorry. Sorry, Craig.
Yeah. I don't think Craig cares.
I think he likes it, actually.

Speaker 1 And then we like. I think there's a lot more weird things that go on in those bathrooms.
We ended up rushing into like, what was it? The naughty pig

Speaker 1 went and just ran in there. On your first date.
Yeah. Sex in the Craig's bathroom.
Yes. Yeah.
And then which men's or women's?

Speaker 1 Women's. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then right after that, we ended up with the gender. The gender lock.
It was gender neutral. The gender neutral one that's just one like you close it.
It's just one person. Oh, okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's discreet.

Speaker 1 And then we ended up running into the naughty pig

Speaker 1 and taking like the best Polaroids.

Speaker 1 Pretty racy.

Speaker 1 And then we ended up at, what was it? I thought that was it. Oh, no, we went to Barney's.
Barney's. Yeah, we went to Barney's.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 And then we ended up getting the food to go. And then we ate it like, we got home.
We had a fun little red bag. Yeah.
But we won't tell all the details.

Speaker 1 And then the second date started the next morning.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. Obviously, when you met Tom, you had to hear about his past.
But when you met Tom, we also had to hear a little bit about yours and some of the people you've dated in the past. Oh,

Speaker 1 do you care? Like, do you care about that? Do you, like, do you care about people talking about your past? Are you? Okay, which one, what's

Speaker 1 you have a, what do you have more? You have a couple, you know, you have a couple famous boyfriends? No?

Speaker 1 Which one are you talking about? Wait, can I get some more whiskey for you? Leo?

Speaker 1 Did you date Leo?

Speaker 1 Is that true? Yeah, not true. So, okay.

Speaker 1 And Tom needs a drink.

Speaker 1 No, it doesn't. I mean,

Speaker 1 so we... I thought you were a virgin.

Speaker 1 What? Sorry to break it to you. So him and I are still really good.
We're not really good friends now.

Speaker 1 If we see each other in passing,

Speaker 1 we're cool, yeah. I'm actually closer to Toby.
Toby Maguire is his really good friend than Blue. And Blue.
Yeah, they're great. He, I've entered a second.
Did you guys date or were you just friends?

Speaker 1 That actually was a thing? We had like a little thing or whatever. We would hang out like as friends for most of the time.
And

Speaker 1 I think that just like so many girls were so like we would go out and we'd meet up and then all girls would just like swarm him and just like stare at him. And it was just so freaky.

Speaker 1 I'm like, oh my God, like what is going on?

Speaker 1 Like, and then he, he, I think he likes the fact that whenever I'd hang out with him, I'd just treat him like a normal person because he is a normal person, just very successful and great at his job.

Speaker 1 And, you know, and we were just, I mean, we had a little thing, but we weren't like in a relationship, you know, but the,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you have other famous exes? There's one I'm not going to really bring up. And then the other one I don't really like right now or ever.
So, because he wasn't very nice.

Speaker 1 But so I won't bring him up either. They don't deserve that from me.
Understood.

Speaker 1 Where do you stand with the rest of your, like, like Lala? Are you pretty much kind of, that was work and you kind of moved on and it's you and Schwartz and kind of no one else? Or have you?

Speaker 1 No, I actually was talking to Sheena. I know she was, when she was on the Mass Singer, we were talking about that.
And I talked to Lala, you know, a couple of weeks ago or so, checked in.

Speaker 1 I mean, obviously we're in different places in our life and we're both home bodies in our own way. But yeah, I mean, I still talk to some people like now and again.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 It's just, it's one of those things, like when you're on a reality show like that for 12 years and you're not filming, it's like you almost get used to just like cutting yourself off kind of for a little bit, like from everybody

Speaker 1 because you really enjoy the time away. So it's like we're almost like having to like learn how to like reconnect again in a, in a way where it's like.

Speaker 1 We don't have to watch what we say.

Speaker 1 We don't have to, you know, which has been, I got to say, man, obviously the way the show got canceled, it's or not canceled, but recasted, it sucked to find out like that and to have it happen then.

Speaker 1 But it's been really nice.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm really enjoying like being in a relationship with somebody who, you know, doesn't have to go through that where we're not getting questioned on what we had for dinner like last night.

Speaker 1 And then, you know, how many times I wiped my ass in the morning. Like, it's literally like, it's so, it feels so invasive, man.

Speaker 1 And it's so nice. Would you guys ever, if bravo called oh they're actually calling right now hello bravo hey

Speaker 1 oh yeah

Speaker 1 babe you want to do it what you're so funny

Speaker 1 she said you're so funny we'll talk later sorry i wasn't that good but

Speaker 1 we'll we'll use that in the problem

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 no yes you Don't care. Don't want to leave.
Anything's possible, but I mean I like the idea of not really doing it. It does seem a bit toxic from what I've seen.
And I what

Speaker 1 you said earlier in your in their best interest.

Speaker 1 Yeah, what you said earlier, like they, they cut things in certain shows that I've noticed now that I'm watching more of like reality stuff and can make somebody look a certain way and whatever.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Well, it depends on like what kind of show it would be.
Yeah, and one thing

Speaker 1 like one thing that would be different if they did do something is it wouldn't be Vanderpump Rules again. It would be coming, I'm sure it would be coming into something sort of a different experience.

Speaker 1 Because what ends up happening is like her being my girlfriend, it's like she would just be Tom's girlfriend instead of like Victoria Lee Robinson coming into a situation like now, or if they did something different or pivoted, she would come in on an equal playing field.

Speaker 1 Because you know, I don't know if you've noticed on Vanderpump Rules, but like the new people that come in, there's a lot of, like, I don't do it, but there's a lot of hazing that goes on and a lot of like ganging up on the new person.

Speaker 1 There's like a, you know, I've never been that way. I've always been the opposite.
What would be nice is if that did happen, at least there wouldn't be that.

Speaker 1 You wouldn't be getting hazed by people the way you would have if you would have came on Vanderpunk Rules. Like you would have ganged up on or felt like you didn't have a voice.

Speaker 1 I think I would be fine. I think I would be fine.
Yeah, you'd kick some ass, actually.

Speaker 1 This is a badass. As far as your guys' relationship, are you guys as taking it easy, slow? Like, do you believe in marriage? Yeah.
Do you guys talk about that stuff yet, or is it too soon?

Speaker 1 Yeah, we talk about it. Okay.
We have to talk about it. Like I said earlier, it's like

Speaker 1 if we're not on the same page, I don't want to waste my time.

Speaker 1 But that's what you guys both want for. We're not saying we're going to get married right now.

Speaker 1 Listen, you're going to talk about having you sex in our space. I mean,

Speaker 1 it is part of the plan, though. We did talk about having sex in outer space.
Good for you, Google. We did.
We did.

Speaker 1 I looked it up. I looked it up, and nobody has done it yet.
so I'm going to have sex in our bathroom.

Speaker 1 Hopefully we'll be the first ones to do it in outer space. So what's the deal with you and Crochelle? Well, I'll tell you a story, actually.

Speaker 1 For Valentine's Day, we went back to Craigs because it was like right after our like one-year anniversary. And

Speaker 1 we had dinner there. And it was so funny.
We were walking into Craigs, they're like asking me, like TMZ's there.

Speaker 1 And they're like, hey, so because it's in the midst of traders and they're like, so like, what's going on with you and Crochet, blah, blah, blah. Like asking me.
And I'm like, oh, we're best friends.

Speaker 1 We're like, you know, just joking around and going there. And then we're sitting there at dinner.
We end up running into Tara Reed and her boyfriend Nate. And we have a Tara.
Yeah, Tara. Yes.

Speaker 1 She's so sweet. She's super cool.
Oh, yeah. You were.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And she was at Craigs that night, too, when you guys met.
Yeah. We actually ended up to be a double date.
Yeah, we ended up making a double date. Her boyfriend Nate's so cool.

Speaker 1 Like, she loves her. She's very sweet.
She's a sweetheart.

Speaker 1 She's super cool. She looks great now, too, by the way.
Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh.
She looks really good. Yeah, so we're there and get up.
Like, we're all talking.

Speaker 1 We're like, get up, use the bathroom, and

Speaker 1 I walk by the same room we were in, and I see a group of people standing up to like take a picture. And

Speaker 1 that you guys were in. Yeah, that we were in, like,

Speaker 1 after Special Forces. The private room.
Yeah, the private room. Yeah, yeah.
The private room.

Speaker 1 And I lock eyes with Chris.

Speaker 1 She's in that room taking a picture. And I was like, holy shit, babe.
Like, Chris's in that room. And I was like, we came back.
And I was like, you know what? I'm going to send them.

Speaker 1 I knew she saw me too. Like, it just happened to be one of those things.
I looked in and it was like, we literally looked at each other. And she like looked away.

Speaker 1 And I was like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. And

Speaker 1 Tom has one drink and he's already like, whoa, because made all the early drinks. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to send them.
I'm going to send them around the shots.

Speaker 1 And so I sent them around the shots. And the the waiter told me, they're like, are you kidding me? What?

Speaker 1 Like, I was just like, you know, let's, you know what I mean? Let's let it, let's let bygones be, but, you know what I mean? Like, I mean, there's not really any real beef between you two, is there?

Speaker 1 No, I mean, it was, I guess she's friends with your ex or whatever, and she wanted her back or something.

Speaker 1 God,

Speaker 1 her story has changed quite a bit. It went from, I remember when I watched, I watched that, I mean, I got sent that part of the podcast, that clip.
What part of the podcast? When she's was here.

Speaker 1 When she was here, yeah. I forgot what she said.
She said something along the lines of,

Speaker 1 I went up to Tom to tell him that, like, I followed Ariana on Instagram today.

Speaker 1 And like, she's a girl's girl or something. Yeah.
And I'm like, when we did special forces, and obviously, like, you have a certain feeling towards me. Like, I get it.
I fully get it.

Speaker 1 And especially back then, like, I fully understand. I didn't go on special forces, even knowing that you had said a lot of shit about me or whatever.
I didn't take anything out on you.

Speaker 1 I didn't treat you anyway. And in fact, I felt like we bonded.
Yeah. And you definitely don't,

Speaker 1 to your credit, like you said, you don't. I don't do that.

Speaker 1 You don't stoop to, whether it's stooping to people's level or fighting fire with fire. You, you don't do that.
No, and I, I, I don't do that. I, I don't like to do that.

Speaker 1 I don't, I don't think it's cool. And,

Speaker 1 you know, so going into something like that, we shared a car together on the way to the castle for the first time and Dolores was there.

Speaker 1 And I think Jeremy was in the car and we're all just like talking and just like, whatever, like, and she was like, you know, I just so you know, I follow Ariana on Instagram.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, that's totally cool. I get it.
You're a girl. Like, she's massively.

Speaker 1 you know, successful. She's a hero now.
Like, I fully understand. I also like Sierra's there.
I know Sierra follows her. I like, I know Dorinda follows her.

Speaker 1 Like every, but Dolores, like all, every, I knew like probably if these are reality women in a castle, like on traders, I'm assuming that at least 50% of them probably follow my ex.

Speaker 1 It's no big deal. When we took our blindfolds off, you know, as a poker player, do you ever play poker? I don't play all the time, but you play.

Speaker 1 When somebody like sits up in their seat and they look down and they like have to like readjust themselves and they're like thinking about what's, okay, I gotta like.

Speaker 1 That's what happened when we took the blindfolds off. I clocked it.
Tony right next to her clocked it. Like I asked danielle she i said give me give me two names and one of them was chris

Speaker 1 even though she was a traitor but anyways that's all it was is i was just trying to play the game and

Speaker 1 when i brought that up her reaction to me i didn't see it at the time i didn't see it as a possibility i'm like there's only two reasons why somebody would react this way Because when you see traders go after each other, you'll notice they throw more personal digs in.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Like if you watch, like,

Speaker 1 like when you, when somebody else gets accused, like, who's not a traitor, they're just like, okay, I understand what you feel. I'm definitely not a traitor.
I'm a faithful. This is why.
This is why.

Speaker 1 They don't go, oh, yeah, well, your mother never loved you. Or like, you know, they don't sit there and say that shit.
You definitely saw Bob the Drag Queen and like Boston Rob doing that.

Speaker 1 You saw Carolyn and like Danielle doing that because they're traitors, because they're being really defensive. That's what I thought initially when I, when she said that.

Speaker 1 I was mortified when she like brought up up the whole scandal. So you're just like, yeah, you must be, okay, that makes sense.

Speaker 1 So I thought that initially, and her story changed immediately from I follow Ariana on Instagram to now change to Ariana and I are friends. So you're personally coming after me.

Speaker 1 And she really has been trying to like sell that story, which. is bullshit.
And she knows it because she's changed it back to on your podcast. Like, we're not even really friends.

Speaker 1 Like, yeah, we, you know, we follow each other.

Speaker 1 It's not like we talk. Like, it was annoying annoying to see that happen.

Speaker 1 And later on, as I realized that she's not a traitor, I'm like, okay, why is she doing this? She's not doing this because she's a traitor being defensive.

Speaker 1 She's doing it to ride the coattails of the scandal, knowing that she'll have a platform of people that already hate me that will fucking get behind her. And that's exactly what happened.

Speaker 1 What are your thoughts on that? It's possible. I mean, I think Cochelle is very, you know, Chris's no dummy.

Speaker 1 You know? oh, yeah, you should have seen it too.

Speaker 1 They edited this part out, like, after she said all that stuff, like, I could see you doing this because you, you know, what you're capable of, all this.

Speaker 1 Right after she was done saying that, she goes like this. She goes, I don't even feel safe being this close, like, comfortable being this close to you.

Speaker 1 Like, while we were sitting at the run, it was like a full thing. And I'm sorry, like, I got to put her on blast.
Like, that was some fucking bullshit. And it like hurt my feelings.
It hurt me.

Speaker 1 And she keeps trying to like paint this picture which i obviously wasn't and you know and then she goes on to watch what happens live and says that like i was sweating because i had lots of coke and i had sugar running through my veins that's not cool she said that that's right she said she accused you of she literally goes oh oh oh oh oh

Speaker 1 it was like you know she he had lots of coke and there was lots of sugar running through his veins. Okay.
Yeah. That's

Speaker 1 nice. A little dirty.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So I just wanted you to be aware of that because I thought, I saw like what she said on your podcast and I was like, what?

Speaker 1 How sad would be what? I would, if I were you, I'd be upset. Yeah, it was, it was frustrating to deal with.
And I did not talk to that girl.

Speaker 1 She also added in nice little things like, oh, all he did was talk about himself. And I don't know if you remember me eating in the castle standing up

Speaker 1 all the time. I literally would eat standing up so I could go around and just like try to figure out who the traders were.
We didn't have time to talk about shit like that.

Speaker 1 Hey, listen, reality TV, I mean, I know that happens. I know like in Bachelor World, it's not as toxic as Bravo World, but like, you know, if you're popular, people want to fuck with you.

Speaker 1 And if you're not popular, people will like to pile on because like, you know, it's good for their engagement. You know, it happens, sadly, but.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 I just, I noticed that because it had, it had been sent my way. And I was just like, what? I was like, what is this shit? It's all good, though.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 You know, whatever. I wish her the best.
Go do your own thing. But like,

Speaker 1 just fucking leave me alone.

Speaker 1 Just fucking leave me alone. All right.
Well, we'll end it on that. Tom, thanks for coming back, man.
Dude. I'm glad this episode went so much different in the best possible way.

Speaker 1 Victoria, it was an absolute pleasure meeting you and getting to know you.

Speaker 1 Thank you for having me. You guys seem like a really great couple.
Thanks. I'm really happy for you guys.

Speaker 1 I'm so happy for you, too. You and Natalie.
Yeah. Oh, my gosh.
River Rilla. She was like, I'm so she wishes she was here too.

Speaker 1 She's not, unfortunately feeling the best, but I'm just really happy for you guys. I'm happy for you.
I'm glad you were able to turn a corner.

Speaker 1 And, you know, like, as I got to know you on Special Forces, it did, like, I know you don't believe this, but like, you know, it was frustrating to see you be, it felt like you were being resistant to just turning a fucking corner and growing from that experience.

Speaker 1 And it clearly seems like that has happened. And often is the case, like when we, when we meet a good woman, us men, it can really help us if we're willing to do the work.

Speaker 1 And it, it, it seems like you have. I'm really happy for you, man.
I'm inspired. I'm proud of you.
Thanks, baby. All right.
Well, wishing you guys the best, and maybe we'll get invited to the wedding.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 hell yeah. All right, we want to do a little spontaneous thing.
Yeah, thanks for coming, guys. Yeah, we like spontaneous.
Thanks for listening, guys. I hope you enjoyed this episode.

Speaker 1 We'll see you tomorrow.