E904 - Melanie Lynskey & Jason Ritter, Ari Shaffir, RHOBH, Temptation Island, Parenting & Side Hustles

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Speaker 1 You're crazy.

Speaker 1 What's going on, everybody? Welcome back to another exciting episode of the Vile Files Reality Recap Edition. And boy, do we have a fun episode for you guys today?

Speaker 1 Melanie Linsky and her very charming husband, Jason Ritter, are joining us momentarily. Jason's been on the show a couple times, it's been a while.
Always a big Bachelor fan.

Speaker 1 He was here to recap some Bachelor episodes a while back. It's the first time having Melanie Melanie on.
They are a very adorable couple, and they're also just big reality TV fans.

Speaker 1 And so we are excited to have them on as well. And later, Ari Shafir, a very hilarious comedian who has a new Netflix special out, will join us as well.

Speaker 2 Nick's developed a new habit.

Speaker 1 I've developed a new habit. Uh-oh.
What? Good habit? Bad habit? Probably not great.

Speaker 2 A diabolical habit.

Speaker 1 We hate it. Yeah.
Okay. Do I know what this is? I know that you're going to say crazy.

Speaker 1 He

Speaker 2 leaves chewed up wads of gum on random surfaces throughout our home.

Speaker 1 I've left. Several.
I've left. Why is this a new, newly developed habit? Yeah, at 44 years old.

Speaker 2 I remember seeing. He just now started not throwing his gum in the trash can.

Speaker 2 I feel like this was like a bit on like parents in like parent trap or like an old movie where it was like she would like take her gum out and like put it on her like headboard.

Speaker 2 And I used to do that when I was like 10, thinking it was so cool. Oh, I know, I know, but you're not 10.

Speaker 1 Why is this happening? I don't know why.

Speaker 2 But it's in awful places.

Speaker 1 What do you mean? Well, bad dad here.

Speaker 1 This is a child desert. We all make mistakes.

Speaker 2 He puts River down for a nap

Speaker 2 and rushes out of the room for some reason.

Speaker 1 A call.

Speaker 1 Don't know. A call.
A business.

Speaker 2 A business.

Speaker 2 Who knows what's happening.

Speaker 1 It's a chopper.

Speaker 1 What the fuck does that mean? Well, you know, you're putting your daughter to bed and you're

Speaker 1 smack. She's like waking up her eye like shut up.

Speaker 1 Oh, sorry, sorry, sweet, pretty little baby.

Speaker 1 And then I took the gum out and put on this little nightstand.

Speaker 2 So I checked the monitor and she's like not asleep. She's kind of just awake, chilling.
And I'm like, okay, well, I'll let her work it out. You know, she's not crying.

Speaker 2 She's just kind of hanging out in there and she loves her crib. So I would check back in every couple of minutes and she's.

Speaker 2 laying down, she's sitting up, she's standing up, she's laying down, she's and then I'm like, what am I doing?

Speaker 2 Like, I might as well just go in there, you know, and like rock her and try to get her back to sleep. And thank God I do.

Speaker 2 She's got that gum all wrapped around her hands. No.

Speaker 2 I mean, just like stretching it, playing with it. I was like, oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Is she ready for slaughtering? She's a slim girly.

Speaker 1 Like three weeks before that, I caught her.

Speaker 1 I want to say it was Natalie's gum, but who knows? Who knows?

Speaker 2 Who knows? Now I leave gum on.

Speaker 1 I just want, you know, just in case the parent shamers pop out. I, you know, I just want to make sure we both go down any flames.
For sure.

Speaker 1 Thank you for protecting me. But our daughter's so smart because, like, I caught her chewing gum.
She was just

Speaker 1 totally. I was a little freaked out.
Like, oh my God. And she was just chomping away like good old dad.

Speaker 2 But even like Shug, our babysitter, she was like, um, so I found like several pieces of chewed up gum like in random places. And I was like, yeah, no, I know.

Speaker 2 That is Nick. I will work on that.
You asked her to guess Nick. She was like,

Speaker 2 there's one on her changing table. And I feel like that the diaper trash cans, right? It's the most accessible trash can in the house, truly.
I mean, it's just, it's right there.

Speaker 2 It's easy to throw away. Are you going back for these pieces of gum?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God, no. And what may or may not be related news,

Speaker 1 Natalie told me 17 times yesterday about this new article. Oh.

Speaker 1 Okay. Oh, I think I know what you talked to her about.

Speaker 1 you.

Speaker 2 I just wanted to know if you go back for these chewed up pieces of gum or do they, are they part of the house?

Speaker 2 Like when you like put it down, like, are you coming back?

Speaker 1 I'll be honest, I have no recollection.

Speaker 2 Just swallow it.

Speaker 1 What do they say? Like,

Speaker 1 like when you're on the stand? I do not recall. I do not.
I do not recall. And I bleed the fifth.

Speaker 2 That reminds me of that Justin Bieber deposition where he's like sitting and he's in some lawyer's office. It's not a courtroom, but they're like showing him some videos.

Speaker 2 And he's just the whole time is like, I don't recall.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I do not recall. I do have a confession, though.
When I'm done with my gum and I don't know where to put it, I'll give it to Danny to swallow for me.

Speaker 3 To swallow?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm hearing some. You also gave Danny Louie's umbilical cord to give to the dog to eat.

Speaker 1 So you need to stop. I'm giving Danny things to dispose of.

Speaker 1 You are not wrong there. I had forgotten about that.

Speaker 2 Did you know that, Nick? What? Leia, she was at the house with Louie. And she was, she was at our house with Louie.
And she was talking about like, oh my gosh, how funny is this?

Speaker 2 Like, whenever Louie's umbilical cord fell off, you know, it falls off like a week after you get home.

Speaker 1 Sure, yeah.

Speaker 2 Danny fed it to the dog. And I was like, what?

Speaker 1 On purpose?

Speaker 2 Yeah. It was a tradition in the family, apparently.
I was like, that was the way that you were.

Speaker 1 By tradition, you mean like a Jewish tradition or just

Speaker 2 his family,

Speaker 2 every time they had an umbilical cord fall off, they would feed it to their dogs. You guys, this is making me nauseous.
And like, for me, I was like, I have that saved traditions somewhere.

Speaker 1 Is there a seance or what?

Speaker 2 Well, for me, I was like, oh my god, that was like the way that they were connected to us. Like, you didn't save that? And she was like, oh my God,

Speaker 2 I didn't save it. You had an existential crisis right there on your outdoor couch.

Speaker 1 I was like, fuck.

Speaker 2 Why didn't I save that?

Speaker 2 You were like, now I'm mad at Danny.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, why don't you just feed

Speaker 1 all your first photos of all these moments to your dog, too? Like maybe a whole photo album.

Speaker 1 Any other special moments with your child? Do you want to feed your dog?

Speaker 2 Well, marijuana users are now six times more likely to have a heart attack. Do you want to rethink your choices?

Speaker 1 Well, here's the thing.

Speaker 1 Six times higher than what?

Speaker 2 Than before.

Speaker 1 Well, maybe it was zero before, and six times zero is still zero.

Speaker 3 Has Natalie told you the facts yet of this?

Speaker 1 No, I'm just saying, like a percentage is a relative.

Speaker 2 Please, Nick,

Speaker 3 so basically, a a new study at 4.6 million people found that cannabis users were more likely to experience heart failure strokes and cardiac arrest smoking weed or gummies or do we know?

Speaker 3 Well so young marijuana users are six times more likely to have a heart attack than those who have abstained from the drug according to a new study that analyzed data from 4.6 million people.

Speaker 3 The study followed adults younger than 50 who didn't have any comorbidities.

Speaker 3 From 2010 to 2018, according to research, specifically cannabis users were six times more likely to have a heart attack, four times more likely to have an enseismic stroke.

Speaker 3 I might be wrong with the pronunciation.

Speaker 2 To next point, more likely than

Speaker 2 what? Than the average person who's not smoking weed.

Speaker 1 Another marijuana user over here across the room. Yeah, I'm fine.

Speaker 2 And I have no issues.

Speaker 1 I'm just saying.

Speaker 1 Six times zero is still zero.

Speaker 2 Why are you timesing it by zero? Well, you

Speaker 1 because I don't know six times. I've met a lot of users.

Speaker 2 Literally, like six times more than that.

Speaker 1 If there's a 1% chance that I have a heart attack because of, you know, and then if it's six times more likely, that's still, you know, I'm just saying, this is the medication that we're giving to like cancer patients, glaucoma, you know.

Speaker 3 It does specify. It says cannabis use appears to pose a substantial and independent risk for those outcomes, even in a population without traditional cardiovascular risk factors.

Speaker 3 So that's what it is for people that aren't already like at risk of like a heart.

Speaker 2 Gotcha. So it makes you at risk.

Speaker 1 I'm short of breath.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. It probably doesn't join toast.
I think that's brain cancer. That's a heart attack.
That's a stroke. Your arm hurting.
I think arm smelling left arm is your heart attack. Okay.

Speaker 1 I think I'm okay. Smelling burnt.
Just burnt toast is a stroke. Okay.

Speaker 1 I think I'm good. Another news: Ryan Reynolds' request that he be dropped from Justin Beldoni's lawsuit.

Speaker 1 Ryan Reynolds is asking a judge to drop him as a defendant from Justin Beldoni's $400 million lawsuit, claiming Justin Beldoni's argument against him has no legal bounds and amounts to hurt feelings, which all the Justin Beldoni stands are up in arms.

Speaker 1 Makes sense to me. I don't know why, like, is he just being sued because he's married to Blake? There's all this speculation about like the Deadpool or Nice Pool, whatever in his movie.

Speaker 1 I don't think that's illegal.

Speaker 2 Can you just sue anyone who's just mean to you?

Speaker 1 I think anyone can sue anyone for anything, but when it gets goes to the court and things like that, I think there are some people. Because I'm coming for you trolls.

Speaker 1 I think there's certain legal things that hold water or not.

Speaker 2 Could you imagine if I became a billionaire and it was just off like suing people in like my comments who are mean to me?

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, my idea. I'm trying to remember the comment.

Speaker 2 What was the weird word?

Speaker 2 They're trying to say a word, but indoors. Endorse.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 They're only here to see what I indoors.

Speaker 1 Watch out. Anyway, we'll see what happens with that case.
We should probably bring back Emily Baker sooner than later to have her break down any updates in this case, but we will follow along.

Speaker 1 Not sure if this will be granted or not, but we shall see. It makes sense to me because I just don't know.

Speaker 1 It seemed almost when he was brought into that lawsuit, it just seemed almost,

Speaker 1 well, retaliatory and kind of almost like, oh, well, I'm going to go after you. You know, it's like he didn't work on the set.

Speaker 1 I mean, obviously, there's all these theories and stuff like that, but we'll see. We'll see what happens with that case.
Tina Faye, this is interesting, admits that she judges rich people.

Speaker 1 Isn't she rich? Yes. Who have side hustles.

Speaker 2 Yeah, she's not judging herself. She's judging her peers who are also rich, who feel the need to like start a a liquor company.
Or start a yeah, or start like a hair company.

Speaker 2 A hair company, an activewear brand. I mean, I don't know.
I just for me because you know that they're not that involved.

Speaker 1 Who cares?

Speaker 2 They're only doing it to make more money.

Speaker 3 Have you walked into Narwhan? Every brand is a celebrity brand, if you think about it.

Speaker 1 Well, celebrity brands are the you chart. Some of them are very successful.
Some of them aren't are less than successful. But like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I listen, I, my big thing is, like, I don't know what Tina Faye's wealth is, but it sounds like she's, she's up there. She's very successful at a lot of successful projects.

Speaker 1 I know, when super rich people have opinions about how other rich people like make and spend their money, I just like, I'm uninterested in that opinion. That's just my opinion.
I find it fascinating.

Speaker 1 I do too.

Speaker 2 I mean, I think she was, I think she was being funny, and I think it was like an interesting take of like, I'm judging you for like needing to have a side hustle when like you already make billions of dollars.

Speaker 2 If your rate's like $8 million on a movie, but then it's like, you know what? Fuck it. Let's throw a tequila brand on top of that.
I'll shoot a commercial once in a while. Like, I get it.

Speaker 2 Whereas she's just saying, like, I kind of hate money. I have a problem with rich people having a side hustle.
If you already have like 200 million, I judge it.

Speaker 1 How much is she of that money she hates has she has she given away?

Speaker 2 I mean, I don't know about her philanthropic endeavors, but I'm like, I'm sure if she works it, she probably does give.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Like I say, if an actor makes $8 million on a movie,

Speaker 1 about 25% of that is just taken away away off the top to like their agents and managers and lawyers. So bam, 25% gone.
Then half of that the government takes.

Speaker 1 So you got, let's say, 8 million, what's 25% of 8 million? Take 2 million off. You got 6 million left.
Now all of a sudden, 8 million becomes 3 million.

Speaker 1 And what if they lost math?

Speaker 1 I cannot fact-check a single thing you just said.

Speaker 2 I'm the meme-check that. Where the woman's just staring out and it's all the equations floating around her head.

Speaker 1 Yeah, literally. I don't know.
And maybe they got a couple of family members to take care of and things like that.

Speaker 1 Maybe someone came into them and said, hey, you want to start a t-shirt line or something? They're like, great. And then maybe that blew up.

Speaker 2 And Tina's just saying, like, I just judge you a little bit for being like...

Speaker 2 Also, like, she's saying it's a little cringy.

Speaker 1 Has Tina Faye ever done a commercial? Yes. And like, couldn't that be?

Speaker 1 She's still acting. Couldn't be thought it was like a side hustle.
She's still acting. She's an acting job.
Oh. Anyway, she's like holding a shoe.
Still acting. Yeah.
I'm acting at the table.

Speaker 1 I mean, like, yeah, she's entitled to her opinion. I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's just more like, it's just like when she's, i'm guessing doesn't have to worry or worry about money period point like period i don't think kylie during

Speaker 2 she's incredibly successful being a producer herself have you ever judged have you ever judged your peers for like doing something that you feel is a little cringy cringy sure and that's what she's saying she's saying that like george clooney not george clooney but example george clooney having his tequila company is a little cringe

Speaker 1 I mean, when he, I don't know when he started or what he was worth, but like he made a ton of money from it.

Speaker 1 I respect the side hustle too, where I'm like, listen, if I don't want to do 500 movies this year and i can make the same amount endorsing a brand by all means do it but i'm i also think that the opinion's kind of funny but also like tina fey like she's an actor she's a producer she's a writer that those aren't those kind of side hustles she doesn't just do one job under all one umbrella yeah

Speaker 1 what and what is that umbrella crazy

Speaker 1 entertainment no her yeah okay and so let's say george clooney like i'm sure he used his celebrity and his marketing ability or like just his good face like his celebrity how is that really different than what tina fe is doing because like they don't use like real tequila in movies right it's like water so it's like these are two very different things it's not like he's not acting like he likes his his tequila

Speaker 1 maybe he is

Speaker 2 then that's fawned off

Speaker 2 he's also not sending out emails being like who wants to collaborate with

Speaker 1 there's a lot of actors out there who get like maybe one job every five years but by all means and that's what i was saying where maybe that's not your celebration that's your main muscle and she's also not talking as soon as they make money they're like, no, what?

Speaker 1 I'm just, I don't know.

Speaker 1 I think it's a very, she's in a very convenient position to have an opinion like this. And it's like, okay.

Speaker 2 I think it's her being funny and being cheeky and just like calling out some of her like friends. And it's like the fact that she would do this to people is really fucked up.

Speaker 1 It's like really fucking it up for the rest of us.

Speaker 1 I'm just going to chew my gum. It's like, why aren't we?

Speaker 1 You know what?

Speaker 3 If a celebrity endorsed or invested in Forever 21, it may still be here.

Speaker 1 Honestly, see, see, that's what I'm saying. We needed a side-hustling celebrity to save America's favorite brands.
We don't need to save Forever 21. I don't know my favorite brand.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was its time.

Speaker 1 That was a hellscape to walk into one of those stores. Oh, for sure.

Speaker 2 No, first of all,

Speaker 2 nothing was ever organized. You walked in in immediate anxiety.
I'm next. I'm looking at Army Print next to Fluffy Pink jacket.

Speaker 2 Also, there's like the running joke of, oh my God, this cute white like t-shirt. And you pick it up and it's like puppy lover on the back.

Speaker 1 And you're like, what the fuck? Yeah. Come on.
We're doing so well.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So honestly, it was time. R.I.P.
Forever 21. Honestly, had a great run.

Speaker 2 The shoes that I was wearing the day that I met Nick are Forever 21, and I will never get rid of them because they hold such a special place in my life.

Speaker 2 Honestly, some of my older pieces from Forever 21 still hold up. It was like once they turned into like wash it once and it shreds, then it's like, yeah, I can't shop here.
But I used to love it.

Speaker 1 Is anyone watching? the Baldwins show? Like, it's been out. Like, have people talked about it? Does anyone give a shit? I haven't heard anybody.

Speaker 1 We're watching.

Speaker 1 Do you think they're still promoting the show? Oh, because like they are an example of everything I don't want us to be.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. No, they're, there are, there's a clip of them on a red carpet where

Speaker 2 it was crazy. The interviewer asks a question to, like, both of them.

Speaker 1 And she

Speaker 1 was kind of directed to her.

Speaker 2 She kind of like starts answering. And then he's like, he starts complimenting her.

Speaker 1 He's like, she's a star.

Speaker 2 Like, she's amazing. And she's like, I was talking.
Don't Don't interrupt me when I'm talking.

Speaker 1 When I talk, you on his face. And he looked like he.

Speaker 2 He was like, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 And like, look down.

Speaker 2 It was

Speaker 1 sad. And he looked dead inside.

Speaker 1 He looked like a broken man.

Speaker 2 When I'm talking, you're not talking.

Speaker 1 In front of people? I'm on a red carpet.

Speaker 1 Are you my mother? Like, how?

Speaker 2 Like, this man has been through a lot. And now you're like snapping at him.

Speaker 1 It's like, get a podcast and talk some shit to each other for fun like we do.

Speaker 1 Like, oh my God, don't bring it to the red carpet and like yell at your spouse for the point where they just like die inside.

Speaker 2 But also that sentence, like when I'm talking, you're not talking, is such a degrading sentence. Like, there's a way to be like, honey, could you not interrupt me?

Speaker 2 Like, I was in the middle of a story. You know, like, there's a way to say, like, hey, wait your turn.
It's also giving like mother of seven. She was like, end eight.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 2 That's true. I mean, I don't know.
It's just

Speaker 2 that gives zero patience in the fact that he wasn't even like shocked by it. He said, I'm sorry, and looked down at the ground.
Like the saddest face I've ever seen.

Speaker 2 We know who is running that household.

Speaker 1 What would you, what do you, what do we think is a pro, you know what? Let's ask our guests because I think they just got done from dropping off their child at school.

Speaker 1 And we can find out what they think is appropriate to pick her kids up at school. Because there was a Kylie Jenner video that has since been taken down.

Speaker 3 I went to find it, and as of now, it's not up. It's a collab with a brand that she's dropping a latex dress.
Her idiots,

Speaker 3 her bitties are out, and like her what was the first one?

Speaker 1 I almost said idiots. Well, bitty.

Speaker 1 He's gay. He doesn't know how boots.
I was trying to blend over it in like a PC way, but her shitties.

Speaker 1 Okay, her bitties. Her tatas were out.
Okay.

Speaker 3 And like, basically, I mean, I took it as she was joking, like in the heart of like promoting the dress, but she was like, Yeah, like I would pick up my kid in this dress.

Speaker 2 Was she being sarcastic? Probably.

Speaker 3 I took it as like being funny.

Speaker 1 Maybe not sarcastic, but it's like maybe not that serious. It's not serious.
Like Tina Fey.

Speaker 3 oh well there you go anyways the internet is outraged well you know whatever

Speaker 2 as they should be and not that they should be but that's just what they do it's just it's so apparent it's a joke and even if she does pick up her kids and like why does it bother you

Speaker 1 yeah because you know the great you know the school

Speaker 2 because husbands exactly but you know the school that she's going to is like the school with all of the other famous celebrity children and I'm sure they're all picking up their kids also in like a latex dress as well.

Speaker 2 So it's like, they're just all in one.

Speaker 1 Yeah, do you think, like, with like, are there schools that are just riddled with celebrity kids? Yes, there are. Yeah.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 3 There's a ton of schools that I could name of like celebrities and normal people going to.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Up towards.
Do you think it's like a red carpet every day? No.

Speaker 2 I don't, but I do like, I hear stories from people being like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 Or like when my friends used to nanny, and they'd be like, oh, yeah, Charlie's Theron just came and picked up her kid while I was waiting for like mine. And it's just like,

Speaker 1 that's crazy. Just on a Tuesday.
Maybe our guests will have some thoughts on what they wear when they pick up their kids because they're up next.

Speaker 2 Or who they seem.

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Speaker 1 Melanie and Jason, welcome to the show. Thank you so much, Jason.
Thank you very much.

Speaker 4 Welcome, Melanie. Thank you.
Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1 So good to have you both.

Speaker 1 We've texted a few times about coming on. Obviously, you guys are busy with life and being parents, but it's great to have you back and have you on for the first time.
Yeah, it all worked out. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, I had absolutely zero idea that you had this accent.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? Yeah.

Speaker 2 And I feel like I've watched so, obviously I've watched so much of your work, but just I feel like I've watched you on red carpets and it's never clicked for me.

Speaker 2 And then meeting you in person, I'm like, oh, yes, of course.

Speaker 4 When I'm actually talking, I try to say as little as possible on a red carpet because I'm so anxious. So just trying to get through.

Speaker 1 Just get through. Just get done.
Just leave. New Zealand.

Speaker 4 I'm from New Zealand.

Speaker 1 I went there once.

Speaker 4 Oh, did you like it?

Speaker 1 I loved it. Yeah.
Well, I was there filming a show called Special Forces. So

Speaker 1 I was quite tortured. The experience itself was great.
Beautiful country. I mean, like, food amazing.

Speaker 1 Where were you at what pack?

Speaker 1 Queenstown. Oh, so beautiful.

Speaker 1 It was like July, June, July, but it was winter then. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So beautiful. Yeah.
Just

Speaker 1 wonderful food. Yeah, very good food.
Queenstown is amazing.

Speaker 4 We've got to see that show. We've never seen that show.

Speaker 1 I know, yeah.

Speaker 1 You've never watched Special Forces? No.

Speaker 2 It's a good mix of like.

Speaker 1 It's a good family show.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it is a good family show.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I didn't realize like who watched it, but then after I was on it, like

Speaker 1 young families with their kids would approach me. Oh, that's good.
And it kind of made sense because when you watch it back, it's you know, it's good, clean fun. It is, right?

Speaker 1 It's all about like, you know, resiliency and fighting through adversity. And it's, you know, it's on Fox, which is network, and it's pretty, it's pretty clean.
Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 So families can watch it together. How many kids do y'all have?

Speaker 4 Just one. Just one.
She's six.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 We have one. She's 13 months old.

Speaker 1 Can I show you a video?

Speaker 5 Oh, my gosh, please.

Speaker 1 We just got this today.

Speaker 2 Oh, she has her

Speaker 2 morning bedhead, but she's walking the dog.

Speaker 1 She's walking the dog.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 5 she's so cute. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 She's like right on the verge. She's like, says mama and dada, and like she's saying words and like recognizing pictures and things like that.

Speaker 1 But like you, it feels like she's at the age where she's, she doesn't know how to say things, but like she, you can tell she's processing. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's a very fun age. It all happens.

Speaker 4 It happens so quickly. Like this morning on the way to drop her off to school, she told both of us that our hair was too crazy to do an interview today.

Speaker 1 Oh.

Speaker 4 Yeah, too crazy. We both had to fix our hair before we came because she's like, what are you guys doing today? And we're like, oh, we're going to go and do.
She's like, well, your hair is too crazy.

Speaker 1 You got to fix it. Come on.
Get it, mama.

Speaker 1 Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 1 Hopefully we're going to have to.

Speaker 5 It's different we could.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, it's looking great now. I don't know what's changed.

Speaker 4 I'm changing a lot.

Speaker 1 Took a shower. Yeah.

Speaker 2 It is crazy to watch her like, because

Speaker 2 she can't really say a lot. But if I'm like, oh, can you put this over there on that stool? And she will go and do it.

Speaker 5 It's so wild.

Speaker 1 It's really crazy.

Speaker 2 When do you feel like her personality really came out and started to be who she is today?

Speaker 4 It was always there, I think.

Speaker 5 It is weird.

Speaker 5 It's like. something slowly being revealed.
So initially you're like,

Speaker 5 it just seems like a baby or something. And then even when you see other babies, you start to realize like, oh, no, that's actually only something that our daughter does or whatever.

Speaker 5 And then as they get older, you realize that, yeah, it was kind of always there.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 It kind of makes sense. Cause you almost have to like, as you, you're there every day, you know, you get to know your kid.

Speaker 1 And yeah, when you're talking about that, like, like the way River smiled, that's, you know, it's just like, yeah, I guess she always kind of smiled this way,

Speaker 1 but you don't really appreciate it when it first happens. You don't know if it's her thing thing or just something babies do.
Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5 Is it a universal thing?

Speaker 1 Like, is she a genius, or is she just like kind of normal developing skills? You know, because, like, you know, it's like every day, there's this, like, she seems to be learning something new.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, wow. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 She's probably a genius.

Speaker 5 But it is nice when they start being able to use their words. And then, you know, as soon as our daughter could say cat, we knew that she was obsessed with cats.
And she's been obsessed with cats for.

Speaker 4 for was that her first word no their first word was moon moon yeah moon other than mama and dada yeah yeah yeah oh my god she pointed to the sky and she said moon

Speaker 1 and we were like so we

Speaker 1 rivers is dog right that was like her first word because we have two dogs so i think it was very easy to just but yeah it was over thanksgiving we're at her sister's house and they have lots of dogs and she just like pointed and said dog oh my god because before that it was like mama and dada were just like things she learned yeah yeah She kind of says mama and dada for a lot of things right now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was like it was a really dog, dog, dog. Yeah, she points them out.

Speaker 2 And now it's like she'll hear a bird

Speaker 2 tweeting or calling and she will like, caw, caw. It's so sweet.
It's really cool to like watch them grow into human beings.

Speaker 2 We were talking before y'all came in here about

Speaker 2 Kylie Jenner recently has gone viral for saying she would pick her kids up from school in a latex dress that she was wearing.

Speaker 1 And so the internet, obviously.

Speaker 2 The internet internet did their thing.

Speaker 2 How would you feel if you were like, oh, let me just put on this latex dress to go pick up my kids? Are you dressing up to pick up the kids or are we in like a robe and pajamas?

Speaker 5 We put on our latex as soon as we get home.

Speaker 1 No drop gosh. Of course, yeah.

Speaker 2 When the kids are gone,

Speaker 1 the latex comes out.

Speaker 1 I mean, I think that's awesome.

Speaker 4 There really is like at our daughter's school, there's a range. Most people are pretty comfortable.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Somebody said one day, they were like, oh, you always know who's in the industry because they're either not here or they're in pajamas.

Speaker 1 And I was like, they're not pajamas.

Speaker 1 Self-judgmental.

Speaker 2 He is the cashmere sweater.

Speaker 1 And what are the non-industry great parents

Speaker 1 wearing?

Speaker 1 A pantsuit? A pantsuit, maybe.

Speaker 4 A lot of people are in pajamas. A lot of people are in pajamas.

Speaker 1 I feel like that would be me with like an open mug, you know, coffee and like my robe on and slippers yeah we've definitely brought the coffee into especially assembly mornings oh yeah yeah yeah uh jason you obviously came on a while back to to talk about some bachelor back in the day is that something you guys are still watching you know a lot of people have fallen off here or there we we we missed the last the last like three i think yeah what was it for you guys that kind of just didn't do it for you i don't know i mean we've always we always liked it.

Speaker 5 There's just so many shows. There's so many great shows.
And we got sucked into some of the Netflix dating shows and

Speaker 5 the traders.

Speaker 4 I think also we have so little time at night, like once we get our daughter down and then to watch something that's two hours.

Speaker 4 And then like Oscar voting. Oh, yeah.
We had to watch so many movies.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 And it was like, I don't know. And then we just sort of ended up not getting into it.

Speaker 2 And then also once you go into like some of the other shows and you realize how just crazy those are, you go back to like the Bachelor recipe and you're like, okay.

Speaker 4 It's always so fun. Like we always do really get into it.

Speaker 5 Whenever we, yeah, if we start it, we get sucked in and we're in for a whole season. We've never like jumped off mid-season.

Speaker 4 And I like Grant. It's Grant, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. He seems,

Speaker 1 we've had a chance to interview him a couple of times. Lovely man.
Yeah, he seems like a really

Speaker 1 lovely guy. Also, he did a really good job this season of not saying, thanks for sharing.

Speaker 1 Every time someone said something emotional, where like a lot of the bachelors before him were like, I don't know what to do in this moment of you actually sharing.

Speaker 1 So they kind of awkwardly just go, thanks. Thanks for sharing.

Speaker 4 Imagine if you shared what is usually your deepest trauma with somebody and they were just like, thanks for sharing. You just, you would feel so shut down.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Thank you so much for giving me that information. Do you want to do fantasy suites?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 4 It is strange that like trauma dump dinners. They do.
Like, why is it named?

Speaker 2 And they're doing it earlier and earlier, it feels like. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which is. I think it was lazy producing.

Speaker 4 Is it like a formula? Do they think, oh, it's going to get the viewers on this person's side and make them connect?

Speaker 1 I think so. I mean, it's, I mean, they've always done that, but like, it feels like the past few seasons, it's almost become like a trope where they

Speaker 1 yeah they really lean you know and i think yeah i do think part of it has to do with like the show's been around so long and that like it's hard for them to cast anyone who hasn't grown up with it or seen it so many times and think that's what they're supposed to say but like so there's a part of that they come in with and i think at least i don't know maybe some of the producers just that's their shtick yeah you know and so they just think oh i guess we're supposed to to do that but it's always just weird you know and then it becomes like a competition of stories.

Speaker 1 And the next thing you know, you have someone being like, you know, I've, you know, I just,

Speaker 1 you know, ADD. And like, not that that's not, but like, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I, you know, I guess, but like,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 it becomes like this thing where everyone's just kind of watering down these various things where it was like, it's almost like a competition, you know, in a way, where it just feels like.

Speaker 1 Disengage, you know, are you saying this because you really want to open up? Are you saying this because that's the thing? Try to send me home now.

Speaker 5 I just told told you the most tragic story in the world.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. So, what are you guys enjoying right now? The Traitors.

Speaker 4 We went straight from the U.S. Traitors to the new season of the British Traitors.

Speaker 1 What is better? Is that a celebrity one or is that?

Speaker 4 Have you not seen it?

Speaker 1 Oh, it's good.

Speaker 2 But is it, how do you feel about it? Like, do you think it's better to see just normal people fighting for this, or do you like the aspect of like

Speaker 1 celebrities?

Speaker 5 There's definitely an element of like, you you know i don't know i guess i don't really know what the celebrities like what they do with the money if it goes to charity or or to them so i don't know but there is some of them do need the money yeah i will say yeah well not everyone's like so rich no that's true but there is something about like just seeing a a bunch of people who are just playing a game who also don't have like oh, I know what it's like to be on TV.

Speaker 4 That's the nice thing.

Speaker 5 A villain will really expose themselves on, like, just because that's who they are. There's one person on one of the seasons from a different country that is like chilling.

Speaker 1 Chilling.

Speaker 4 You know, it's like a full sociopath.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Oh, it's fun.
It was crazy.

Speaker 4 We've watched all of them.

Speaker 5 Yeah, everyone that we can get our hands on.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 The New Zealand one is really fun because they're, first of all, New Zealanders are so good at sniffing out bullshit. So they just find the traitors.

Speaker 1 Immediately. Immediately.

Speaker 4 And they're just like, oh, so sorry, mate. I just think you're a traitor.
Oh, Oh, I am.

Speaker 1 It's been really hard.

Speaker 4 I haven't enjoyed it. And then it's just like so funny.
They're so kind to each other. Nobody's backstabbing.
It's really funny.

Speaker 2 Would you ever do it if you were asked?

Speaker 4 Not in a million years.

Speaker 1 I probably would. You would.
Yeah.

Speaker 5 I love that. I love mafia.
I love that game. I love all of that.
I love trying to figure stuff out.

Speaker 5 I also love trying to figure out how to lie if that's

Speaker 5 what it requires.

Speaker 1 It's fun.

Speaker 1 I don't think I'm a good liar, you know, I think I guess I could if I want to, but there's a icky feeling and then like it's comforting.

Speaker 1 Thank God.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's like I'm really good at lying.
I lie all the time.

Speaker 1 I cannot stop lying.

Speaker 1 I don't like things in my life.

Speaker 1 It's a huge lie.

Speaker 1 But like with the game, when you're supposed, like, you wouldn't like swear on anyone's lies. Like, no.
Some of that stuff is like, it's just a game.

Speaker 4 I don't know if i need to swear on anything meaningful we have a rule at home when we play mafia when we have mafia at our house there's a rule that nobody can swear on

Speaker 1 anything anything relationship based on children my ex-husband swearing on our marriage once oh god that's trauma yeah and you're like see

Speaker 4 yeah and it worked you believed him and then i did believe him and then and he was yeah i was like he's not in the mafia he'd never swear on our marriage he's not in the mafia he's

Speaker 1 poor jimmy he's such a wonderful person he's just a good game player he's like

Speaker 5 he was like people are going to believe me you believe i mean it was i was shaken yeah we had we we started i have my my little group of friends and i we've all played this game called uh the resistance and it's also a like a lying game it's kind of like mafia on crack or something it's just very fast and just a lot of lies and we started with like this is a moral gray area safe zone you can say whatever you want You can do whatever you want.

Speaker 1 And then slowly we had to be like, okay, but you're not allowed to get this. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 And that's way too far. That's more weird if someone was.
And that hurt my feelings. I've been cheating on my wife this whole time.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 No, you want. That's what you said.
This is all brand. Now you all are.

Speaker 4 Would either of you want to go on the traitus?

Speaker 1 Yes. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The opportunity has been presented early in the past. I just couldn't make it work.
I hope someday I get the chance

Speaker 1 with the show and

Speaker 1 our daughter.

Speaker 1 like I hope I get the chance to do it it'd be a lot of fun you'd be so good it'd be so good I think I'd be okay I think I would come in with a little target on my back

Speaker 2 because it is yeah if if they're doing it how they've done it in the past it is like majority of reality TV stars yeah in this show you know we talk a lot about reality you know we share some

Speaker 1 of

Speaker 1 that kind of thing

Speaker 2 that are mad that he called them something

Speaker 1 with love I was like I was just talking about your character. I didn't have, but you seem lovely in person.

Speaker 1 And then I think some people think of me as like, you know, strategic or whatever.

Speaker 1 And like on fan forums for the show, I guess I get brought up as someone who like, we interviewed Derek from this season and he was saying, oh, I thought you were going to be on this season.

Speaker 1 So I kind of looked you up and, you know, yada, yada, yada. And, you know, I think you, I thought you were going to be good.
So it's like, you don't want really people to know much about you

Speaker 1 or have really any opinion of you, especially like your game playing abilities if you have them but that's kind of i always kind of get shocked with the the celebrity traders is like how the the gamers don't really kind of get targeted it's always like like this year it was the housewives yeah that was weird why are we going after the housewives and it's like every season they it pick at least one gamer to be a trader yeah yeah and you would think that the people there would be like well someone one of these gamers is definitely a trader until we cess them out like let's just keep focusing on them because they're also still the best ones too absolutely everyone else

Speaker 1 exactly yeah she was amazing she was so good she was her instincts were so good and every time and i gotta say i i think i'm a fairly decent people reader but when we interviewed her and she came in it was a bit of like a hectic she say she landed and we were we were leaving la she was coming into la she was a bit hectic but like she really keeps you on your toes because she's always with you and you know and she obviously has kind of eccentric appearance.

Speaker 1 And she, you're just like, I don't know what to make of the.

Speaker 1 You're too busy just trying to learn about Carolyn. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Whether long she's a traitor or not a trader. I can see why she flew under the radar as long as she did.

Speaker 4 She was a great choice. Amazing choice.

Speaker 1 Bev Hills. Are you guys up to date on Bev Hills? I think so.

Speaker 2 You saw the Sutton on trial at sea?

Speaker 1 No. No.
Is that it?

Speaker 2 That was, that was, I think that was last night.

Speaker 1 That was last night.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it came on last night. But we were still on the UK Traders last night.

Speaker 4 We were watching Claudia.

Speaker 1 We were complimenting everything up to.

Speaker 1 So who are some of your favorite? Like, where are we standing with Darit and Sutton or Darit and Kyle? How do you guys see the group these days?

Speaker 5 It is interesting how it

Speaker 5 shifts over time. Like, I've come to really enjoy characters that I, I

Speaker 5 had a tough time seeing who they were, but I think anytime someone goes through like a really tough time, like I think Dorit with the break-in and all of those things that like really and through this divorce, it's like it's humanized her in a lot of ways for me.

Speaker 5 And so I feel sad about the Kyle and Doreet thing because I just feel like they're both in so much pain.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 they both, I think, have a hard time talking to their soon-to-be ex-husbands about it. So it's like they, they come at each other when they could be hugging and crying.

Speaker 1 Well, last night's episode, Erica kind of came for Sutton a little bit. And she, you know, when you go back and watch, it'll be interesting.

Speaker 2 Well, because I'm sure y'all saw the whole Sutton comment of like, our wallets don't, like, you need to mess with someone whose wallet matches.

Speaker 5 She goes for the jugular.

Speaker 1 She really loves that. She, like, will go.

Speaker 5 If you're, yeah, she will just.

Speaker 5 And she comes in ready to go.

Speaker 1 Well, you, yeah. And that's, that was kind of Erica's gripe.
So Erica kind of very, you know, she really, she, she owned that. I love Erica.
Yeah, she delivered it.

Speaker 4 Erica has clearly done a lot of

Speaker 4 work. And the way that she's like laying things out and being able to step away and take a deep breath and come back, I'm very impressed with that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she was so, she's like, so she, I'm excited for you guys to watch it, but she was so calm and she was just like, so listen, Sutton, I've just kind of noticed

Speaker 1 that for whatever reason, you seem to come at some of these ladies in the group when they're at their lowest.

Speaker 1 And then you're, you're, as a viewer, you're like, hmm, yeah, I guess. And then she was like, well, you know, you kind of did it with me.

Speaker 1 You did it with Kyle.

Speaker 1 And now you're doing it with Doreet. And like, Sutton just loses it.
Oh, really? Well, because,

Speaker 1 and, you know, and then there's this whole semantics argument where Erica said, like, you, you bring women down. You bring the women down at their lowest.
So Sutton's like, basically accused Erica

Speaker 1 of saying that like Sutton hates all women or something. And Erica's like, well, no, here's three examples.
You know, that's the thing. She came with like three examples and it was like yeah

Speaker 1 and it makes a lot of sense because like Sutton always seems lovely Justin's a huge Sutton fan he gets all defender to the grave yeah

Speaker 3 and what is it what is it about well I mean I base it in like my experience of meeting her like I think but I think she's like like she'll have a genuine conversation with you even if you are a normal person

Speaker 3 and I just take it as I take it as she says it how she sees it like she's gonna ask the questions people aren't asking I I will say I got a chance to meet her and she was lovely.

Speaker 5 She was very nice. And it was

Speaker 5 that's why I'm always sort of surprised on the show where when

Speaker 5 she feels attacked, how intense her comments to like, it's further than like, that hurt my feelings. And I want to tell you, it's like, I want to hurt you so bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah. She gets like vicious.
And as soon as you say like, Sutton, can I, and then you could see her just kind of.

Speaker 1 And just like, as soon as you give that note, she's like, I feel

Speaker 1 you're just like, well, I was just trying to construct. I do, I do feel for her.
I feel, you know,

Speaker 5 I think you, that comes from a lot of pain as well. But, you know, it's such, and it's such a hard thing to deconstruct, like, like Erica has done.

Speaker 5 When you're feeling attacked, you can step back, take a deep breath. figure out if you actually are being attacked.
But I think she, when she feels attacked, she goes into like super fight mode.

Speaker 1 And if she could, if she could like snip that button to response and be able to take a breath and think is this actually what's happening um you know i i i hope i wish that for her but it is fun to watch but erica really has come a long way i was it was i was i had always had a hard time with the whole earring controversy oh yeah i was like i was like man just give him away you know like yeah regardless you know the for her to be however they were able to live the lives that they lived back in the day when they lived this life of opulence and luxury, for her to lose seemingly all that,

Speaker 1 get this, again, I'm sure it's a very lovely place and it's in Bev Hills, so I'm sure also probably still really expensive, but just the shift in her to make the most of a completely different lifestyle and a complete, you know, it's hard for anyone.

Speaker 1 And there,

Speaker 1 you know, when a lot of people lose that much, they, they don't often pick themselves back up and reinvent themselves. You got to give her a lot of credit.

Speaker 4 And I also really had a hard time when all of that stuff was happening when everyone was like, Well, of course, she knew what he was doing.

Speaker 4 She's not like in his law firm, like looking over the books. Like,

Speaker 1 he definitely didn't seem like the type.

Speaker 2 Well, he definitely didn't seem like the type who at the dinner table was like, honey, let me tell you about

Speaker 1 all of my clients.

Speaker 1 I also have a family of four, but I thought you would have to do it. Yeah, maybe you need a private jet.

Speaker 4 Like, and

Speaker 1 oh, it's so awful.

Speaker 5 I've also seen a lot of rich people who have, you know, they have a certain lifestyle. And when things start to like

Speaker 5 go wrong, they, they keep up appearances and it becomes like a pyramid scheme and they're borrowing. Like, and so,

Speaker 5 you know, I think your much younger wife would be someone that you wouldn't be like, listen, I'm in trouble.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 You know, you're like trying to still keep up appearances of, I got you, I got, I can do this, I can do this.

Speaker 1 And he was never my favorite, but I, I, oh he was so horrible to her I know God she's really come she's really come a long way she's come a long way we may never see another or what I know

Speaker 1 she was so

Speaker 1 she's so still though she's like a queen I keep on like studying studying her she's because she's so like powerful well I was on dancing with the stars with her way back when

Speaker 1 and I'm a bit introverted outside of talking for a living.

Speaker 1 And so is Erica. And she's so she's

Speaker 1 yeah. But like she's, she's tall.
She's beautiful. She, like, sometimes I will get criticism for being unapproachable or aloof or looking like my face looks like a dick.
Um, I've been told. Um,

Speaker 1 you know, and Erica can be very intimidating. I, but, but when you go up to her and talk to her, she's so nice and chill and cool, but like, you, she is intimidating.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, in person.

Speaker 1 And a lot of it is just kind of her quietness and she's comfortable just kind of sitting in the background. Well, the

Speaker 1 very nerve-wracking for people sometimes, absolutely.

Speaker 5 I think she allows, you know, I'm, I feel like I meet someone, I'm like, How can I show you that I'm not threatening?

Speaker 5 You know, and she's just like, Hello, you know, she has like she doesn't matter what you think of her, she she is very like in her body, which is cool.

Speaker 1 I don't need to talk to Field,

Speaker 1 exactly.

Speaker 1 That's a you problem, exactly. I wish I had

Speaker 1 you should try, I'll try just

Speaker 1 around

Speaker 4 being kind of calm and slightly different.

Speaker 1 what?

Speaker 1 Are there any housewives franchises you guys enjoy these days?

Speaker 5 That's the main one.

Speaker 4 That's the only one we really watch.

Speaker 5 Also, I'm like you, I'm for Kyle. I'm kind of like, she can do no wrong.

Speaker 1 That's what I'm like with Kyle, too.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 I just think she's at least trying and she's honest and she's trying to bring people together. And not that she's like never made any mistakes, but I just, I feel.

Speaker 5 like she's a good person and at heart.

Speaker 1 I think I feel that I feel that way too.

Speaker 2 I think also, I mean, mean, in this episode, you'll see, but like, Garcelle really is just, she doesn't drop the Morgan weight of it all. And it's like, yeah,

Speaker 1 but I kind of get Garcel's interesting point of view. She calls out Sutton for basically being in Kyle's back pockets.

Speaker 1 Like, you're this with all the other ladies, but when it comes to Kyle, you always give her a pass.

Speaker 1 And then there's a moment later in the episode where there's like an exam, like an example of it where, you know,

Speaker 1 you know, Kyle doesn't have Sutton's back, but Sutton doesn't call her out, but well, he'll call up the other women. Oh, right.

Speaker 1 I guess I get where Chris Lee coming from because I could never do what these ladies do.

Speaker 1 Housewives, like what they give to the audience.

Speaker 5 It's true.

Speaker 1 It's unbelievable.

Speaker 5 Do you think they like, like at, you know, there's that cartoon with the

Speaker 5 wolf and the sheepdog, and they like clock out at the end of the day. They like fight all day, and then they're like, morning, Bread.

Speaker 2 I feel like, honestly, they do that.

Speaker 1 Like, their friends. They're attitude to remain sane, right? I mean, it's like

Speaker 1 scary and all that.

Speaker 5 It's not mean that, like, how can you be like, that was too far?

Speaker 1 Well, talking to a lot of housewives, there's, there's real feelings that go outside of doing these episodes and these scenes. I think it's a mix of both.
I mean, some of them, you know, it's a job.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 1 But they're all, they are human beings. And when someone's just screaming at your face and calling you out, it's

Speaker 1 intense. And usually, I don't think, you know, it's reality TV.
So

Speaker 1 the idea is no one's an actor. They're not, it's supposed to be authentic.
So you're not like, hey, I'm going to yell at you in 10 minutes. You're right.

Speaker 1 You just come in with, and you make a decision. You caught that person off guard.

Speaker 1 But I guess back to the Garcel ball, I get it where it's just like, you know, we've been asked to do certain things and it's just like, no, like, you know, we have the show.

Speaker 1 We like to share some things about our relationship and our family. We pick and choose, but like we get to decide.
what we're comfortable with. And we very much want to protect our relationship.

Speaker 1 That matters above all things. And you give up so much control of your life and you are expected to talk about these things.

Speaker 1 And I think with some of these ladies, they're just like, you know, yeah, Kyle, she's been there the whole time. She's the OG.
She is Beverly Hills housewives.

Speaker 1 You know, when some of them else are kind of forced to talk about things they don't want to, it would be frustrating to be like, well, come on, Kyle. Like,

Speaker 1 can we just get to the bottom of this? thing that's not even that deep and you're kind of putting it in our faces but we're not allowed to talk about it.

Speaker 1 But I got to talk about like why my son or kid or my husband or partner or what? Rumors or

Speaker 1 you know, it's just like they always have to address these rumors.

Speaker 2 But to Erica's point, she was like, Garcelle keeps coming at Kyle for this Morgan weight of it all. And it's like, we know nothing about who Garcelle's fucking.

Speaker 2 It's like Garcel just like will not let this Morgan, it's, it's, she was standing on the side of a stage and Morgan's, and Garcelle's like, and what was that all about?

Speaker 1 You went to a concert? Yeah, that is. is

Speaker 5 it seems like she just went to a concert it wasn't like a picture of them canoodling I mean I guess that also at the same time you can't you know have a show just be like everything's pretty good we've done a lot of work on ourselves and feeling healthy

Speaker 4 if they are if there is a some kind of secret romance it's a very attractive couple I have wound it up on Morgan Wade TikTok Oh, yes.

Speaker 2 Where it's just people at her concerts and she does Jesse's Girl. She does a rendition of that song.

Speaker 1 and I

Speaker 2 contemplate my sexuality while watching.

Speaker 1 And I understand where Kyle comes from. It all makes sense.
Yeah, she's very cool. She's cool.
Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, there's something very, like, very appealing.

Speaker 1 I get it. I get it, Kyle.

Speaker 5 I also just like what she unlocks in Kyle.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 5 Kyle is having so much fun with her and, like, feeling, I don't know, just feeling.

Speaker 5 I don't know.

Speaker 5 I can't even.

Speaker 5 Who knows?

Speaker 2 She's getting the tattoos.

Speaker 5 It's like fun fun and like life-affirming and

Speaker 5 sweet. And

Speaker 5 leave Kyle alone. It's her.

Speaker 1 So I was asking before we started recording, you guys have not jumped into Temptation Island yet. No, not.
No. Is that something we could interest you in?

Speaker 1 Or is like, is that too kind of smutty?

Speaker 5 No, we've gone pretty low.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, we watched Too Hot to Handle.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. Oh, well, then you need to watch Temptation Island.
Okay, yeah. Because this is like that on

Speaker 1 steroids.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 It's crazy. It's four couples who come in.
Some of them, one has been together for three and a half years.

Speaker 1 Okay. I think the one is like a year, so it's in between.

Speaker 1 It's like 20s, early 30s. Okay.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Later 20s, early 30s.

Speaker 1 So it's more of a younger cast.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 5 Not like my four children and I.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Just thought we would go on the show.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So those are the four couples at the top.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 And then they sit together as couples as all of the women, the temptresses, walk by.

Speaker 2 And then they sit there as a couple as the tempters walk by. And then they get to the temptresses and tempters, like choose the person that they're interested in.

Speaker 1 So like in front of your partner.

Speaker 2 This like beautiful woman in a bikini walks up and like puts a bracelet on Nick and is like, I'm so glad you're here. And you just like watch it.
And then they go and move into a house with these.

Speaker 2 Well, we love the ultimatum.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. So

Speaker 2 there's hidden cameras everywhere. It's very much like we have boundaries of like, we will not cross a physical line.
And then they're like having shower sex the next scene with one of these two.

Speaker 2 And then the women go to a bonfire and they watch clips of what their boyfriend has been doing. Oh, no.

Speaker 1 Or girlfriend. But usually, as you might suspect, that the two different islands have two very different vibes.
Yeah. Like it's on the man's island with the women's temperatures, it's party island.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's white cream.

Speaker 1 And then on the women's side, it's like a therapy session of all the girls just kind of talking to all these guys about their boyfriends and kind of like, you know, he just doesn't

Speaker 1 listen, you know, like the way I want him to. And he just doesn't stop having sex with these temperatures.

Speaker 1 And then, like, people like Taylor, Tyler, you know, when the Temptresses were giving, you know, coming out, what did he say? Like in front of his girlfriend.

Speaker 2 He's like, oh, that one in that bikini is insane.

Speaker 5 whoa like crazy stuff so are the tempters and temptresses just looking to mess up a relationship or are they looking are they singles looking to be with someone so yeah they give us they give them like confessionals they they allow you to like get to know

Speaker 2 they're not just there to be like let me see if i can no they're like listen i want to like potentially build a relationship with you maybe we could leave this island together and like not your girlfriend of four years but me that you've known for two weeks and so yeah they're all kind of and then there's others who are like i just want to mess stuff up yeah yeah

Speaker 1 no one really says that but they're um

Speaker 1 breon uh his kind of story his partner shantae she's lovely calm seems so down to earth and just I guess right reasons is not to steal anything from the venture.

Speaker 1 And he is just like, I'm paraphrasing, but he's like,

Speaker 1 my dick needs to have sex.

Speaker 1 Not me.

Speaker 1 This is a, this is a

Speaker 1 lot of people. I want nothing to do with it.

Speaker 1 Like, I need

Speaker 1 the way God made me. I, I need to take care of my guy, you know, like, that's kind of how he talks.
Shortly in, he starts, he has a threesome in a shower.

Speaker 1 Oh, right after, he's like, yeah, didn't regret that. He basically, as if he went to check off a box and, you know, and then he

Speaker 1 and this Breon guy, and then there's this Grant guy. They clearly have never had like good role models, I don't think.

Speaker 1 And they seem to be very emotionally like stunted and immature. Yeah.
Where like Grant also had sex with someone. And then his confessional decided to forgive his girlfriend for, I'm not sure what.

Speaker 1 He's like, I forgive you. You know, and he's talking.
He's just like, I'm not a bad guy. I just like, as if like the sex they're having on Temptation Island is like something they owe to themselves.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And they don't regret it.

Speaker 1 And it's just the way these guys talk through their bullshit. It's

Speaker 2 a, it's like a microscope into that age of man's brain and like how it works. And you're like, this is.

Speaker 1 In 2025, like a picture of the colours.

Speaker 1 This is crazy.

Speaker 2 Like you've been with this girl for two and a half years. You've been away from her for four nights and like you're already having sex with someone else.
And then you're like, listen.

Speaker 2 I'm not really sorry, but like I forgive you for all of our like past issues that we've ever had.

Speaker 1 And like

Speaker 1 I'm accepting him for who he is. It's

Speaker 1 why it's happening. I mean, a man who just simply loves sex and like that's all I just what's so bad about that?

Speaker 5 I do feel like some people in this world

Speaker 5 have to learn life lessons by going on a reality show and having the internet go, no, that's not.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? Yeah.

Speaker 5 Like, I, I, sometimes, and maybe sometimes that doesn't even work. But yeah, I think you would have to look at yourself if like universally there was like one response.

Speaker 5 It wasn't like, oh, there's like split.

Speaker 2 Like everyone's like, this is well, and what's so crazy is that Brean, one of the Timptresses that he's like kept, they kind of like send some of them home, you know, the ones that they're not really connecting with.

Speaker 2 They send some home.

Speaker 4 You can keep multiple Timptresses. Yes.

Speaker 1 Yes. So like

Speaker 1 after like a few days, I'm not sure what the timeline is, the host, Mark Wahlberg, he's great. He's also Mark Wahlberg.
Oh, not

Speaker 1 the Mark Wahlberg, but he's the other one. So Temptation Island Island actually has been like I season one I watched when I was a sophomore in college in 2001.

Speaker 1 It's been around and it was on Fox and it's jumped around from like I think it was on USA. It was on Peacock for a minute.
Now Netflix has it, which is I think a really good thing. Okay.

Speaker 1 But he's the same host from like years ago. But he, unlike, say, like a Chris Harrison.
or a Jesse Palmer, no disrespect to them. And maybe the show doesn't ask him.

Speaker 4 We love Jesse Palmer.

Speaker 1 Love Jesse Palmer. But every once in a while, you know, Jesse comes out.
And, you know, I don't know if you guys remember. Did you watch Clayton's season when he was like, I love you all?

Speaker 1 And Jesse comes out. He's like, well, good luck.
You know, he's just like, like the bachelor will come out and just be like, I don't, I don't know. Yeah.
I'm really in a lot of trouble here.

Speaker 1 And Jesse's like, yeah. Yeah, you sure are.
I'm excited to see how you do.

Speaker 1 And Mark is very much like giving like real. genuine advice.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's just weird because it's this kind of smutty show where there's doing threesomes.

Speaker 1 And then in these fireside chats, Mark's like, so wow, like, that's like some real deep childhood stuff going on here. And then, you know, you're like, wait, wait, what's trying to do?

Speaker 5 That's like the Jerry Springer effect. I remember I used to like watch that show and just be like, oh, and then at the end, he'd be like, you know what, guys, listen, be kind to each other.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 5 always had like a Jerry's final thoughts, and they were like, pretty profound.

Speaker 1 What did that chair you threw?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5 You didn't stop any of those fights, but you're right, Jerry.

Speaker 1 Let me ask you guys a question. If someone said to someone, well maybe you said to your wife you're just like there's only one jason

Speaker 1 and there's only one melanie would you find what would that mean to you like if if in the context of like you've been around a bunch of temptresses the whole time and like you want to you sent a video oh oh and and you were like say i was on the other island and i get this video from jason and he goes i just want you to know there's only one jason and there's only one melanie

Speaker 1 So annoying.

Speaker 4 So annoying.

Speaker 1 Because they were like, wow, that's really romantic on that show. And I'm like, I don't even know what that means.

Speaker 2 I mean, also, his name was Leno, and I don't know a lot of Lino.

Speaker 1 But her name is Alexa.

Speaker 1 That's pretty common.

Speaker 5 Meanie. Yeah.
So, okay, I didn't understand. So it's, it's, because, so you're talking about someone who talks about themselves in the third person, which is always.

Speaker 1 He said it like it was so profound. And i'm like well first i don't know i mean i guess but huh like a

Speaker 1 but if so like did you have sex with someone else or not like

Speaker 2 there's only one uh and when i did it wasn't as good as it is with you you know so

Speaker 1 only one of you yeah

Speaker 2 it is a crazy show and i feel like every i my jaw is just dropped the entire show because you're like

Speaker 1 oh my god these people how are you doing this

Speaker 1 so if you guys are not you know i know you guys have a lot of tv to catch up on

Speaker 1 that does sound interesting.

Speaker 4 It does sound really interesting. Some of these shows...

Speaker 1 If you liked Ultimatum.

Speaker 4 We do like the ultimatum, but we like the ultimatum because it's like, like some of these shows, people's like fixation on bodies, it's like they don't know anything about people other than what they look like.

Speaker 4 And then people are like, oh, my type, like, that's not my type. That's, and it's like, who has such a specific type when you don't don't you need to know things about people?

Speaker 4 I feel so scared for like the world sometimes because it's like the things that make you fall in love with a person

Speaker 4 like people that I've been with, it's like all over the map.

Speaker 4 Like nobody looks like each other. It's so strange to have like a type, I think, and stick to it so religiously.

Speaker 5 Well, they say it like right when they meet someone, they're like, Yeah, you're just so my type.

Speaker 1 You're my type, and they're like, Oh, thank you.

Speaker 2 Your blonde extensions and your face moves are just really my type.

Speaker 4 That's what it is. It's distilling people down to like not even just bodies, but like body parts, parts of a body that you find appealing.
And then the humanity is like stripped away.

Speaker 4 And of course, like men like that are going to go on a show and be like, well, I get to fuck whoever I want because there are body parts that are appealing to me.

Speaker 4 And I'm used to these other body parts. And it's like this, I don't know, it just feels like the death of like empathy and feeling.

Speaker 1 And people get so

Speaker 2 people get so like detailed on. It's like, well, my type is blue eyes.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 2 So no green eyes at all.

Speaker 4 And even though you have green eyes, I'm finding you attractive.

Speaker 1 So, it's like, what's happening? Yeah, thanks for really like listening to me and paying attention to what I said. But, like, that's not my.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 5 Wow, we're really connecting, but different hair color.

Speaker 1 So, sorry.

Speaker 5 I'm just more of a.

Speaker 1 So, strange to me. And then you feel bad because, like, again,

Speaker 1 what's her name? Brianne's lady. Shante.
Shantante.

Speaker 1 She, again, she, she comes across as such like.

Speaker 1 No, I just

Speaker 1 oh my god, you're gonna feel

Speaker 1 if you watch it, you're because she just seems like such a good person. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And he seems like the exact opposite. Like, I mean, it's edited, so, you know, you don't know, but he, what we're seeing of Brian is, is, is not great.

Speaker 1 And he lacks kind of any empathy for her and any kind of thought that his decisions will impact her whatsoever. And it's just so hard to see her.

Speaker 1 But I am, you know, because I see this a lot in in real life in dating culture where it's like you see this person and you're like they're they seem smart and put together and self-aware and have everything else going in their life yeah and then you meet who they're dating yeah and they're just like and they treat them terribly and they and then she'll say things like but I just love them so much and I'm like what exactly yeah about them

Speaker 1 people are you love like what about how you know I always love to ask people like what do you love about how they make you feel that when you ask people that question their eyes go that's like their brain brain breaks because they never thought of it in those contexts about like oh how i feel oh oh right because it's like well it sounds like you've been miserable for like i don't know like a period of time like maybe a year and i'm like well what do you mean you love because like it sounds like you're confused and upset and hurt constantly you know but like it's it's you see that people struggle with that they just like they decide they love someone probably maybe early in the relationship or whatever and then they just kind of the love that they have seems more based off of just like time invested

Speaker 5 yeah i mean yeah i think also sometimes like you can you get to know somebody and you know their story and you know what what trials and tribulations they came through and so then you make excuses for the behavior that comes from that because you're like oh but i know i see their little child you know like i see who what's going on but there's no expectation to have them grow or be better.

Speaker 5 You're just so you're not sort of seeing that daily you're getting this behavior towards you.

Speaker 5 And I also think sometimes it's easier to have a clear bad guy in the relationship. If you're both really trying, then you're both going to be the bad guy at different times.

Speaker 5 And that's uncomfortable for people. It's much easier for some people to go meet with their friends and complain.

Speaker 4 It's also a lot less scary to have your own negative self-belief. reinforced back to you than it is to believe in your own goodness and worth.

Speaker 4 And people just fall into traps where they don't feel good about themselves, they're with someone who makes them feel worse, and it's just like a cycle.

Speaker 4 They're just like, Well, this makes sense to me, this works with my brain because that's what I'm already telling myself, right?

Speaker 5 Yeah, and they feel like also, some people feel like, Well, that's true. Anybody being nice to me is someone wanting something from me, but someone being mean to me, that's real.

Speaker 5 I can count on that, sure, you know, which is a sad, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, you guys are also in some really cool and exciting shows. You obviously are in yellow.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and I'm on Temptation Island.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I didn't tell you. I'm not sure.
I'm not sure if you can get a reason.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow.

Speaker 2 Okay. The Temptress.

Speaker 1 Good luck, guys.

Speaker 1 She's crazy.

Speaker 1 Matt Lock's a lot of fun. Oh, thanks.

Speaker 1 It's just fun to see you in, you know, out there and like blowing up. And it's just, it's been great to see.

Speaker 1 And then obviously Yellow Jackets is a huge hit uh how many seasons now is it on three we yeah the third season is airing right now how do you guys manage you know your busy lives your love for watching tv together working you know being two working parents but also very very very family oriented how do you guys all make that work yeah i mean it's definitely i think you know we both

Speaker 5 want to make it work. And when we first got together, there's sort of an element of spontaneity that, that you can just sort of do do, like, oh, I have a job and it's over in this country.

Speaker 5 So, come with me. You know, yeah.

Speaker 5 And it becomes, and you can even do that for the first couple of years with your child.

Speaker 5 Um, but once they get into school, we had a sense that when our daughter started kindergarten, that we wanted a little bit more stability.

Speaker 4 And yeah, so Matlock has been such a gift because it films here. So, yeah, when I was doing yellow jackets and Jason was filming, I was going back and forth to Vancouver.

Speaker 4 And sometimes I'd go up and do a day and come back, you know, she came back it's a lot I came back every time every chance I got and most of the older cast is doing that because a lot of us have kids so there's not a lot of like hanging out together time it's nice when you do get to how is Vancouver do you like filming in Vancouver yeah it's really nice yeah yeah yeah we've never been oh nice a lot of great playgrounds it's really good for for kids a lot of great is it really rainy there it is yeah yeah but I'm from New Zealand so

Speaker 4 used to it does your daughter have a New Zealand accent or an American accent? On some words. Really? Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 She definitely, I didn't notice it at first, but then all of a sudden I heard you say something and I was like, oh my gosh, that's how

Speaker 1 cool.

Speaker 4 Also, when you hear other little kids talk and they just fully have an American accent, she doesn't. Yeah.
Yeah. She has a little accent.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's sweet.

Speaker 4 And she's also lived in so many different places since she was born.

Speaker 1 So she's so cool.

Speaker 5 Especially like the sound

Speaker 5 or like four or something like that. She says it much more like

Speaker 2 it's like I remember when my niece was, I don't know, three, maybe four, and she was Peppa Pig was everywhere.

Speaker 1 And she had her British accent for a while, like copying Peppa Pig. So getting to know you, Jason, it feels like you are a very involved father.
Like you guys seem like very much like a team.

Speaker 1 And Nellie and I very much try to emulate that and do that because what I've learned being a a dad early on is that especially for dads and maybe even some parents but like I think there's a lot of people who want to have kids yeah you know and just like I want to be a dad someday but then there I think there are people who like love being parents yeah you know

Speaker 1 um and I feel very lucky Nan and I talk this about this a lot that I feel very lucky that I'm we're with each two people who like we we love being parents yeah and we love like you know, sharing the responsibilities of raising her because like we like it, you know, and I feel very fortunate.

Speaker 1 And I think we both feel very fortunate.

Speaker 1 And I, you know, just from a very far, because I don't know you guys that well, and I see interviews and your social medias, but you guys seem like you both, together as a team, really enjoy being a family, being a team, being parents.

Speaker 1 It's just really fun and inspiring to see because you don't see that all the time. And I, and as a couple that very much tries to emulate that, it's really nice and fun to see.

Speaker 5 I thank you. That's very nice.
I, I, yeah, I, I, I feel very lucky.

Speaker 1 Are you gonna cry? no if he is

Speaker 1 no

Speaker 1 um i cry all the time

Speaker 5 i do cry all the time um no i think it's uh yeah i i i mean we talk about all the time how you know we

Speaker 5 it's so it's a lot of work and it's a lot of fun but it's also a lot and so you know

Speaker 5 you would you would want The luckiest thing would be to be with someone who also wants to be a parent as much as you do. Like that, it's such a...

Speaker 4 I can't imagine doing it with someone who's like, oh, God, that's so annoying. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I never wanted

Speaker 5 something like that.

Speaker 2 You want me to bathe her tonight? Come on.

Speaker 1 Right, exactly.

Speaker 2 It's like a kind of this thing that's going around is like, you know, I'm so happy that I picked someone who wants to be a husband and a father versus someone who wants a wife and babies.

Speaker 1 And it's such

Speaker 1 a bad thing. Yeah, exactly.
There's definitely a difference. Because there's a, I never thought about it until I was a dad.
Yeah. There's, um, yeah.

Speaker 5 You don't want someone like if I was like, oh, you know, her, her daughter.

Speaker 1 So bizarre.

Speaker 4 Sometimes like people will be like, oh, my husband's babysitting tonight. And it's like, he's not babysitting.

Speaker 1 Just with his daughter.

Speaker 4 You're not paying him to do it. He's parenting like you would.

Speaker 4 You wouldn't say, I'm babysitting tonight. Right.
You know, it's interesting.

Speaker 5 It is funny to see the reactions to. like a single dad at the park versus like a you know there's always like a

Speaker 1 oh wow you're here like

Speaker 2 yeah i uh sometimes i just take my daughter to the park and then you see a mom like nursing a baby pushing one in a stroller with like four dogs

Speaker 1 they like shut the door

Speaker 1 someone has to point out what she's doing wrong yeah i have a celebrity friend uh who was talking about you know they're also active parents and when he takes their kids to school he's treated like people are just like oh my god yeah

Speaker 1 you're here to chop off but when she brings to school the you know and they're a celebrity couple like you guys, and it's just like, oh, yeah, sure, mom brought the kids. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like the medical standard. It's always like funny.
It's this weird thing. That's, yeah.
You need more people like us, Jason.

Speaker 4 I know. Somebody said to me one day, someone was like, Jason does drop off a lot.

Speaker 1 And I was like, yeah.

Speaker 1 Why do we need to have a further conversation? Yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah. I'm not like, I'm so grateful.
It's like, yeah.

Speaker 1 He does his part.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I am so grateful.

Speaker 1 And we tell each other that we're grateful for.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah but like normalize we did both sign up for this yeah so we are both doing just our part you know yeah it just it's you know anyways yeah it's fun to it's fun to have sorry we're healthy

Speaker 2 i just can't imagine doing it with somebody who's not you know as invested i remember my my mom she was like whenever i told her about nick she was like i'm just so grateful that he like has never been married or hasn't had children before because she married my dad after he had three kids.

Speaker 2 And she was like, you know, the first time I was pregnant, I was like, oh my God, the baby kicked. And she would say, my dad would be like, cool.
Cause like he had been through it so many times.

Speaker 2 So nothing was as exciting as it was for her. And she was like, I'm so excited that you have someone who's just equally on that.

Speaker 1 Go through the

Speaker 1 other time. After

Speaker 1 River was born, her mom was very graciously there to help. And like the first couple of days, she was looking, I just, I kept noticing her being like, because I was just like involved.

Speaker 2 He was like cleaning my breast pumps and would like get them charged and she was just like this is crazy

Speaker 1 yeah I mean yeah and like another generation it's the worst two parts yeah

Speaker 1 I got real good at it I was also a very good swaddler oh yeah I was a good swaddler too

Speaker 1 I think some of the stuff that I like I know maybe it's just like there's there's certain things we're we can't do the way mom right of course and I feel like all the things that I could do that like you know whether it's cleaning pumps or swaddling it's like I'm gonna dominate this task I saw recently someone,

Speaker 2 this older guy, he said his kids were like in college now, but he was like, one piece of advice I could give to parents with young children is like make everything a game.

Speaker 2 Like everything that you do, like you're sitting at a diner and you like do like blind taste tests of the syrup. Like you just like make everything that you do this just like fun game so that like.

Speaker 2 they will i think i was talking about like not needing screens or whatever but it was just like a fun way to think of like involving your kids in everything you do like instead of distracting them you involve them and like you give them, you know, it's a cool that is a cool

Speaker 1 manage screen stuff because that is something that makes us, you know, we don't have to worry about it now. She's so young.
Yeah. Um,

Speaker 5 you know,

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 5 we we try to limit it, but she also, I think, I think the key is that like we talk about it with her and, you know, um, it's not just like

Speaker 5 she's not just sort of zoned out. And also she still loves going outside and going to the park.

Speaker 5 And if there was ever a moment where it was like tantrum, because I just need more iPad, then I would feel like, oh, we've gone too far.

Speaker 4 But we do other things with her that are fun.

Speaker 4 So she wants to do the other things. Yeah.
Like she wants to play. She wants to draw.
She wants to do a puzzle. She wants to go somewhere.

Speaker 4 You know, so it's, I think you have to give them other options.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Otherwise, of course they're going to want to.

Speaker 1 Natalie taught the

Speaker 1 how to be excited about everything now, River. Anything new we present, she goes, ooh, Oh, you know,

Speaker 1 because we just started doing that to anything new, we're like, Wow, and now she just mimics anything new.

Speaker 1 She goes,

Speaker 1 It's literally the best. So sweet.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Well, we know you guys have to get going, and we thank you for your time.
It was just fun to catch up with you. Yeah, yeah, so fun to hear about you.

Speaker 1 What's up with you guys, and all your fun projects. Anything you guys want to plug before we let you go?

Speaker 5 Yellow Jackets is coming out every Friday with new episodes, i think unless there's a break i don't

Speaker 1 i think so i don't know

Speaker 1 yes friday fridays yeah fridays right yeah and then matlock is on thursdays but not these next two thursdays uh there's uh three episodes left starting on april 3rd and it's like it all they're three really great ones i anytime I was homesick growing up, I was like hoping a Matlock episode was

Speaker 1 back in the day. It's so nostalgic to see it back on.
It's a great thing to have to be a part of. It's such a good show.

Speaker 5 It's so much fun. I'm having a great time.

Speaker 1 It's great, man. Well, congratulations to all your guys' success, and it's great to catch up with you guys.
And thanks for coming on. Thanks for having us.
It's happening, guys. So nice.

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Speaker 1 I just love Jason and Melanie. I've always been a big fan of Jason's.
I mean, for those of you guys don't know, like

Speaker 1 Jason's dad, like a legend.

Speaker 2 Through his company? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Which I actually saw John Ritter, for those of you guys who don't know, sadly passed away many years ago.

Speaker 1 And yeah, so, and then Jason, you know, has been in the biz for a while, and it's been fun to see him become more and more successful. Obviously, we know Melanie has been in so many things.

Speaker 2 I just, I feel like every time, I feel like anytime you turn on a movie or a TV show, it's like, oh my God, there's Melanie Lewiski.

Speaker 1 You know, it's like, she's in just everything. Oh, she's a great character, actually.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah. I always forget she has an accent because she's so good that it's just like, oh, yeah, you're not from here.

Speaker 1 Are you?

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, it's wild.
I hope they do watch Temptation Island.

Speaker 2 I'm like, so sad. I think we, I only have like two episodes left.

Speaker 1 How would you feel?

Speaker 1 I know you've been in love for a while, and you know, but let's say you had some random hookup sex and then

Speaker 1 he called you cute afterwards. No, adorable.
Adorable. Yeah, no.

Speaker 2 There's a lot of things that I must have done.

Speaker 2 And if adorable is it? Like a pat on the head. Like, good job.

Speaker 2 I don't ever want to hear the word adorable and me associated in the same sentence.

Speaker 3 Who said this?

Speaker 2 Grant, whenever he wrote his letter to Natalie, he was like, you're so cute and adorable. And it was like, we were just fucking in the shower like last night and now I'm adorable.

Speaker 3 Well, because Tyler also said dear, and I think about that pretty often. I'm like, what is the language we're using here?

Speaker 1 He, Well, tons have changed.

Speaker 2 No, well, he also, in his letter to Natalie, said, I yearn for you.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Grant wrote that. I guarantee you he wrote that and go, this is good.

Speaker 2 This is real good. Ooh, I cringed a little.
Nice. Yearn.

Speaker 1 He's like, what's a big word I could use?

Speaker 3 They like pride and prejudice. He's like, I am Jane Austen.

Speaker 2 I am Mr. Dossie.

Speaker 1 Dear. Like, Grant is a perfect example of.

Speaker 1 tall privilege because the confidence that man has. Truly.
And I'm just not sure where else he's getting that confidence other than the fact that he seems to be like 6'3, 6'4.

Speaker 3 He's attractive, too.

Speaker 1 You think? I don't... They're all attractive, this guy.
You think Grant is like...

Speaker 3 I think he's conventionally attractive, yeah.

Speaker 2 He seems like the type of guy that can go out and get what he wants.

Speaker 3 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 1 He acts as if he's never been told no.

Speaker 1 He lacks... I don't think him and...

Speaker 1 They look like they haven't had no role models. Who? Him and who? Most of the guys.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Well, because they're all just operating with such like low character traits.

Speaker 2 It's like, how have you never had someone be like, hey, that's actually not how you treat someone that you would say that you love?

Speaker 2 It was like the Breon explaining his like cheating, being like, well, this is what's happening here, but like, it's not real. And it's like, bro.

Speaker 2 You guys are going to leave together and what you did here not only exists in real life, but it is filmed to replay to show how little you fucking cared.

Speaker 2 So it's just like the idea that you think that these are two separate ideas of like, oh, I can hook up in Fantasy Island.

Speaker 2 I do wonder if there's like a part of them that maybe they talked about before where it was like, hey, if I can get it to happen where I can have a threesome, like.

Speaker 1 No way. You would think so, but her reaction to finding out.

Speaker 2 I think it obviously would be hard for anyone to watch, but I feel like the way that he was just talking about it so openly and he's like, listen, no, like, I don't need to go in that tent.

Speaker 2 Like, I'm here to show everything. I don't need to hide anything.
Like, I'm here to be open and honest. It seemed very much like, I know she's going to forgive me.
I don't regret that.

Speaker 2 This is what I can't, you know.

Speaker 1 Well, that's, no, but that's what I find so sad about that situation.

Speaker 1 I think there's a lot of relationships out there where, you know, one person just knows they just have to like wear that other person out, you know, like.

Speaker 1 Like Shantae, like with, you know, they, they did the video and then they had the fireside chat and like she like steps away.

Speaker 1 And it's like like you they both know they're gonna like I think they're gonna end up together.

Speaker 1 I don't I think Shantae and Brian leave together as a couple because the energy they give is this like he just like he knows he's in the doghouse now, but he's not, he doesn't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 He's not worried at all about her like saying, I'm done with you. It's like he knows, it's like he's just not worried.

Speaker 1 And even her, she acts like she's hurt, she's upset, she can't believe he did this, but there's really no like, I'm done with this.

Speaker 1 It's more like like she steps away to figure out how do I, how can I process this and get through it?

Speaker 1 And it's like you, you can tell there's like this unspoken understanding between them, which is what I think you're kind of referring to, but I don't think it's like a pact or an actual understanding.

Speaker 1 It's like this unspoken thing where

Speaker 1 he just knows that he has all the power and control in this relationship.

Speaker 1 And so when he decides to have a threesome because he's never had one yet and this is the perfect opportunity to do it, he just doesn't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 And then, Grant, I feel like that's the difference in Grant and Ashley is that she at least is kind of like, fuck this guy.

Speaker 1 You know, like she, she kind of came into Temptation Island being like, right away, being like, he's too cocky. He's kind of a piece of shit, whatever.
And he's followed through.

Speaker 1 But his ability to just be like, I love you. And I'm, I still like, it's like now that he's had sex, he's like ready to love her again.
But like he did her a favor.

Speaker 2 But because she didn't send a video back, he's ready to invest in Natalie.

Speaker 2 But if she would have sent a video back, then like he probably still would have left with Ashley, but would have hooked up with Natalie a few more times before they left.

Speaker 1 I mean, like, Grant and Brianne have, they, it is all about them. It is everything about their relationship is about how they feel about anything.
And that's really all that matters.

Speaker 1 You know, like they, you know.

Speaker 2 Well, and that's what Amaya said whenever she was like, I'm declining your date because you, like, the way you're operating is, I'm like not down for that.

Speaker 2 And I give her so much props for being able to be like, I know this is like technically my role here, but I'm not down with the way that you're treating her.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like I wish that Shantae kind of, especially seeing like another woman say that to your long-term partner, that's where it would be like, if she can't even do it in a week, what am I doing?

Speaker 1 Right. Yeah.
I think the only positive thing Brianne thinks about women is that they're useful.

Speaker 2 For threesomes till the birds come checking.

Speaker 1 Like I don't like, you know, I think a lot of times, you know, say things like, oh, he hates women or she hates men or whatever.

Speaker 1 And I think sometimes it's a little generalized because like maybe they're someone's fighting with a partner and, you know, they act mean.

Speaker 1 But he really, just the way he's treating the whole, all the Temptresses and his, you know, it's just, it's very objectification. It's very like.

Speaker 2 The way he had that threesome and then like got in the bed, didn't say anything to him. Like let him leave.

Speaker 1 Let him leave. One of them picked one of them out, Courtney.
She had a threesome and she got booted early.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Okay, dropped the show.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's like, and he goes, yeah, she's cool, but, you know, I'm good.

Speaker 2 And then whenever Amaya, before she declined the date, is like sitting on the bed with him and they're having that conversation.

Speaker 2 She's like, you know what like I don't feel comfortable having this and she like gets up and he's like people are so fucking weird man It's like huh

Speaker 2 and she can still hear you. Yeah, and she like

Speaker 1 what when we're watching Shantae she just looks like this is a good person. This is a cool person like she's grounded.

Speaker 1 But he is

Speaker 1 on fucking Mars.

Speaker 2 No, even after the threesome, he does his interview and he's like, well, maybe we'll see if we can get Amaya and one of the other girls in bed next.

Speaker 2 Angel. Yeah.
And it was just like, you have no remorse. You do not feel bad.

Speaker 2 And then he sits there being like, okay, well, now that it's time for me to probably get back with my girlfriend, you know, like, I just know I want to be the man that she expects me to be.

Speaker 2 It's like, it's gross.

Speaker 1 I can't help but be kind of happy for Tyler and Kay. They're kind of adorable.

Speaker 1 You're not?

Speaker 1 I think Taylor,

Speaker 1 I think Taylor has the potential of sometimes being a little Karen-ish.

Speaker 2 I didn't love the like, he has bitch tendencies, and like, I'll say that to his face.

Speaker 1 Like, I don't, I'll say that till the day I die or like whatever her little you know what and like watching Taylor it reminded me just like how many I think I think how many ladies out there are looking for useful idiots and I think if you if you're a lady out there dating a man if you treat your guy or think of him as kind of a useful idiot he's gonna eventually hate you That's a recipe for resentment.

Speaker 1 And I think there's a difference between like giving your partner shit and fucking with each other.

Speaker 1 But when you start like rolling your eyes and like everything that comes out of their mouth is either stupid or dumb or why do you say that and they're just like essentially useful idiots everything they do annoys you yeah and i think that like sitcoms it's always like smart mom useful idiot husband you know and i think a lot of our you know quantity honestly sitcoms we grew up on we're kind of gave that vibe and i think that's that there's a lot of relationships out there where like the man in the relationship is thought of as kind of a useful idiot and that is like a number one way i promise you ladies that your husband's gonna hate you if he doesn't already uh it's kind of the same way if like the other way around if you treat your you know for the men, if you treat your spouse just like just like a constant, you know, nag or whatever, resentment is probably the number one thing that leads to an end of a relationship.

Speaker 1 And just like, yeah, like Taylor just seems to, Tyler obviously has his flaws. And like, I do think he's very inexperienced.
He comes across as someone who really blossomed in his 20s.

Speaker 2 Like, well, he said he had only had one relationship prior to Taylor, right?

Speaker 1 And it was like,

Speaker 1 he got married like as a teenager and then like

Speaker 1 met Taylor to basically get out of that marriage. And so like here's a guy who's kind of really hasn't lived some real life.
So I kind of cut him a little slack. I think Tyler has a good soul.

Speaker 1 You know, not perfect and definitely maybe does or says things he shouldn't say, but he seems like a good one.

Speaker 2 It is hard though to watch these couples like crack in just days. It's like,

Speaker 2 come on. I will give Kay credit though that I was like the whole.
I'm just going to make him take me to his room so then he can start envisioning me in his room and something.

Speaker 2 And I was like, that is some psychology 101.

Speaker 2 You did the studies, yeah, and it proven to work. Well, something that excited me yesterday, I really had a craving for Taco Bell, so I ordered it last night.

Speaker 2 And I don't know if you um are following Taylor Frankie Paul, but she posted a while back on TikTok that she goes to Taco Bell, gets a Baja blast, and then brings it home and makes it dirty by adding coffee creamer to it.

Speaker 1 Well, Jesus,

Speaker 2 it's so good, and they do it with the frozen, slushy version of it. I had it last night

Speaker 2 mind blown, but she has a collaboration with Taco Bell. So it is like for her.
And they gave her an award for that she has the menu hack of the year. And she received that over the weekend.

Speaker 2 And let me tell you, it was game-changing for me. I love the Baja Blah.
How do I get a collaboration with Chick-fil-A?

Speaker 1 You kind of have to start posting your obsession with Chick-fil-A.

Speaker 2 Or like do your own, like, what do you add to yours?

Speaker 2 what do you take off like what's the sauce what's the recipe and then maybe get your own sandwich like get natalie's way right and the brand but they're kind of problematic

Speaker 1 yeah 100

Speaker 1 well yes definitely yep yes definitely want to point it out

Speaker 2 they are i also i think they're overrated chicken sandwiches by the way but that's just i'm also convinced that taco bell um is owned by stoners because i'm like everything that comes on their menu just makes me think that it's like somebody just sat there and was like what if we made a taco out of doritos Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like, it's just such high food. They'll put cheese on cheese.

Speaker 3 I don't eat taco bell, but I see those photos and I'm like,

Speaker 2 like, you know what? We're going to do a Mexican pizza, but then we'll do a crunch wrap. And what if we put the tortilla around the Mexican pizza? Crunch wrap supreme.

Speaker 1 Great.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. Food first donors buys donors.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 2 Tell me, tell me I'm wrong.

Speaker 1 And I don't even like Taco Bell that much, so I don't have a problem.

Speaker 1 Up next, we have a very hilarious comedian. Ari Shafir is with us.
He's got a new Netflix special out called America's Sweetheart.

Speaker 1 If you like some dark comedy and giggle about things that feel a little naughty,

Speaker 1 you are in for a treat because that is what's up next.

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Speaker 1 Oh my god, it's actually really long.

Speaker 2 Your one sheet.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, it got me thinking. thinking.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah, I don't know.
You're so talented. You've done so much in your life.
How old are you? 100?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the question is, what are you passionate about? It's like, oh. Oh, I got to say, thank you, by the way.
Like, you really

Speaker 1 took time. It was a good question.
It wasn't meant to be homework. It was a good question.
It got me thinking on the plane. And I was like, oh.
What am I passionate about?

Speaker 1 Do I give a shit about life?

Speaker 1 I was like, should I pull the ripcord in this plane and just get out of here?

Speaker 1 Does that have any value?

Speaker 1 All right. Ready? Go on.

Speaker 1 I kind of feel like we already started. That was funny.
Yeah. What's one thing people don't think you guys are passionate about that you are? I'll start.
Hi, guys. Welcome to the Vile Files.

Speaker 2 What is one thing that you're passionate about that people don't think that you are?

Speaker 1 No, no, no. I'm just asking you.

Speaker 2 Mine is people

Speaker 2 not walking on a sidewalk when there's a sidewalk to walk on.

Speaker 1 It's frustrating, the bikers, especially, when they have their own dedicated bike lane.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Ooh, I got one for you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's specifically against comedians not you specifically i love it perfect nobody hates comics more than comics so yeah and i'm i'm definitely more like i'm kind of like that i feel like uh culturally not to trigger anyone i feel like we're we're allowed to be a little more funny these days you know you have some some dark humor some raunchy humor almost all yeah it's really i quite enjoy it

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 but like listen you know comedy it's an art form you know yeah and as i've been told by comics but every once in a while such a lead up i want to

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 every once in a while um there might be people online or or people in podcasts like maybe critiquing a comment or just being like i didn't find that funny

Speaker 1 and then some comics will be like you know i'm a comic right babies they're such comics and i'm just like i don't give a yeah i know you're comic and i guess i didn't i first of all didn't know that was a joke sorry uh and i guess i didn't know everything you say falls under the category of i'm fucking joking

Speaker 1 And they take themselves real too seriously. Oh, they're such babies.
I'll tell you. It's okay.
I'll tell you what I'm talking about after we get done recording. Okay.
Yeah. Okay.
That's smart.

Speaker 1 That's my favorite person ever. Yeah.

Speaker 1 We already triggered them. We're dating them.
You know where comics fucked up is that they said like we're just joking, we're just joking. And then they got super serious and political.

Speaker 1 And then the audience was like, well, how do I know when you are joking? Literally.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
And then it's always like, and if they ever get it like criticism, it's, but I'm a comic. Yeah.
It's like, okay. I prefer like in a live show when somebody leaves angry, like, you shock.

Speaker 1 And they leave. And you just kind of watch them go, I mean, they're not wrong.
Anyway, let me ask you.

Speaker 1 It's like, I mean, your opinion's fine.

Speaker 1 You're right. And the way that some celebrities hold on to their humanity.
Yeah. And how most lose it.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, and you give an example, Chapel Roan telling fans that they need to leave her alone at the supermarket versus Taylor Swift breaking up with her boyfriend because dumb fans got worked up over a joke

Speaker 1 about someone else's fake stage name. I don't remember the Taylor Swift one.
Taylor Swift was dating the guy from 1979.

Speaker 2 Oh, yes.

Speaker 1 And he made a joke on a podcast that's not around anymore, Mullen and Stavros' podcast, about Ice Spice. And he was like, oh, is she like an Eskimo rapper?

Speaker 1 But she's not. She just called herself Ice Spice.

Speaker 1 And she broke up with the internet was like, that's,

Speaker 1 I guess, racially insensitive. But he's like, she's not.
She's not that. Like, I don't know, whatever.
And then they went out. And And then Taylor Swift was like, yeah, I'm all a product.

Speaker 1 So you're out. Yeah, you're out.
I'll just date

Speaker 1 a different product. Yeah.

Speaker 1 To get a figure, yeah.

Speaker 1 And it's like, yeah, immediately after.

Speaker 2 So you love Chapel Roan being like, I'm not.

Speaker 1 Yeah, like, leave me alone. I'm not working.
You get me when I'm on stage and you get my music. And then like, I'm a human.
Like, because she just got famous.

Speaker 1 So she's like, hasn't been removed from her humanity yet. She went to zero to a million.
She got so like that. Yeah.
So she's still living in her head in that like, I'm just a normal person world.

Speaker 2 Who wasn't recently? Was it it like Scarlett Johansson? I think maybe that's wrong, but was like, I only take photos with fans in professional settings.

Speaker 2 Like, I will not take a photo with a fan if I'm just like getting a coffee.

Speaker 1 That's pretty good.

Speaker 2 Because I don't want people to know like where I am.

Speaker 2 Like, it was like a, you don't deserve

Speaker 2 to share like Billie Eilish still lives at home with her parents in the house she grew up in. Dork.

Speaker 1 Move out. Dork Tim, get an apartment at least.
You can afford a one bedroom. If I can, you can.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Get some cabinet space, lady.

Speaker 2 Why aren't you watching reality TV? I feel like it would be really good.

Speaker 1 Because I'll get hooked.

Speaker 1 It's the same reason I don't do like fantasy football. It'll be all my time.
I watched one season of Survivor and I was like, I couldn't turn it off.

Speaker 1 It's so hard. It's fine.
I do like it. It's trash, but like, it's fun, trash.
Like, it's like.

Speaker 1 uh fast and furious so

Speaker 1 it's like are you america's sweetheart i am i'm the i'm the nicest guy in America.

Speaker 1 How did you come up with that title for your special? Because everybody hates me.

Speaker 1 So, but I'm trying to get people to stay popular. Do you think everyone hates you? No, but I try to go dark.
You do go dark. Yeah.
Yeah. Joke with some of those people like, what a terrible person.

Speaker 1 Did you get much heat for that COVID joke? Which COVID one? Which one? You talked about everything has a silver lining. Yeah.
Like COVID. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And you're like, some people died, but some of them are. Some of them are complete

Speaker 1 cuts. Yeah, some of them are freaking shitty people.
You know, people, you know, you wish death on some people 10 years ago, and then they died in a new way they weren't aware of. So it's like, great.

Speaker 1 I didn't imagine it that way, but I'll take it. Yeah.
Remember going outside? during COVID and just like walking in the middle of Ventura and like no one's going to come at you.

Speaker 1 It was eerie. It was like that in New York too.
And you're like, you take the best pictures.

Speaker 1 You can literally stay in the middle of Fifth Avenue. Yeah.
Yeah. You don't take cars out.
There's just no one there. It's pretty nice.

Speaker 2 Are you a part-time influencer?

Speaker 1 No. No.

Speaker 2 I was wondering why you're doing photo shoots in the middle of the street. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Just because you could, I guess. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It was like, this is a cool pick.

Speaker 1 Part-time influencer. Is that a thing? Part-time influencers.
I love it.

Speaker 2 Have you done any jokes about being a son of a Holocaust survivor, or is that like way too far?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. How does

Speaker 2 mother, father, dad, dad?

Speaker 1 Yeah, grew up in Romania. I think the, it was pretty far easy.

Speaker 2 Does he find them funny?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he understands like the

Speaker 1 there's two ways to go about like dark jokes taking them.

Speaker 1 It's either like, this is awful or like oh they know it's awful that's why it's funny taking light of something right if you make fun of like dropping your slice of pizza it's just not that funny because it's not that bad but if you make fun of like the holocaust then it's like it's like oh making light of that is like it's such a you know so different than how you should react so he gets it he's like you're actually showing how terrible he's not at home like crying because the son doesn't understand what he's been through yeah the people who get upset at comedy jokes is really it's just because it's a new art form so like people don't quite know how to take it and they're like it's you speaking about your own feelings with your own name, versus like a naked lady painting.

Speaker 1 It's like, we know by now that's not an actual naked lady, you know.

Speaker 1 But then, even like, I don't know, when photography got big, people were like, this is smut. Remember that? And it was like, no, it's not.

Speaker 1 It's just like a black and white photo of it of a naked dude with a nice dong.

Speaker 1 But, like, no one's actually coming for the dong. It's for like the, you know, the lighting and stuff.

Speaker 2 Sepia. Sepia.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Sepia Dong. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sepia Dong should be a name someone's podcast. Are you currently watching Sex in the City or the new one? The old one.
Oh, my God. And I am loving it.
Okay. I assume you guys have seen it.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 It's the worst written show possibly of all time.

Speaker 1 I can forgive him for writing men terribly because it's not about the men on purpose. It's about these women and their friendships.

Speaker 2 But which one are you?

Speaker 1 I will tell you, I used to hate The Redhead. And then I've realized finally, after seeing the new one.
I'm a Miranda. You're a Miranda.
Yeah, I'm starting to like her. Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, she's the only one who makes any fucking sense. She's the red hall.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And why does she make sense? Because she's not a fucking hypocrite.
She's not like, she's not there, like Carrie. Yeah.
The worst friend. Worst friend in the world.
The worst friend.

Speaker 1 Anytime somebody's like, oh my God, I'm having a terrible time. And she's just leafing.
She's like, I know, right? Somebody stood you up, just leafing through like letters.

Speaker 1 I'm like, anyway, so I'm out of cigarettes. Can you believe it? And he was like, no, this is your friend's moment.
No. And she will bulldoze through anyone in the name of getting her way with Big.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. And it's like, he's a bad guy.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Were you Team Aiden or Team Big?

Speaker 1 I mean, I think they both should have just murdered her.

Speaker 1 Also, the guy was like, you're just constantly starting fights with me. I see it from Big's side, but also, like, he's not the guy for you.

Speaker 1 The first time she broke up with him, they were going on vacation and they're on the sidewalk and she like wants a, I think, was it, she wanted a commitment or something? And like two weeks of dating.

Speaker 1 Too early. He's taking her on a trip.
And because he's, and then she's like, well, no, then I'm just not going. And it's like, and he's just like, what, lady?

Speaker 1 I mean, her blowdraws must have been so epic for him to put up with that. And every time he comes over, he's like, we're late.
Let's go. And she's like, I'm getting ready.

Speaker 1 I can't pick out which shoes I want. And then he lights up a cigar, which is like an hour and a half smoke.
And I'm like, you're already late. This is a crazy.
This doesn't make any sense.

Speaker 2 You definitely don't have time for that. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 She just shows up to where his parents are. I'm like, this is out of line, lady.
You can't be doing this.

Speaker 2 Did you watch the new one or no?

Speaker 1 It was pretty brutal. Once Big died, I was

Speaker 1 right away. Spoiled immediately.

Speaker 2 The first episode is the Peloton death scene.

Speaker 1 That's like... No, where, I mean, they really completed her

Speaker 1 being terrible in general because she just watched him die. And didn't even.
She's like, oh.

Speaker 1 You're still. Oh, okay.
That did rock me.

Speaker 2 I was like crying, I think, for the rest of the day, being like, you can't ever eat on a Peloton.

Speaker 1 Please. You're like that.

Speaker 1 Well, I am older than her, so it was immediately like, you know, trauma from like dating an older man.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 I'm sure you've been there. You must be like, okay, this could happen.
Yeah. Someday.

Speaker 2 And did you know that a new study just came out that.

Speaker 1 Apparently I'm six times more likely to have a heart attack.

Speaker 2 Marijuana smokers are six times more likely to have a heart attack.

Speaker 1 What? But we're chill.

Speaker 2 Not chill enough, clearly.

Speaker 1 What? Oh, it's because we run out of weed. We get real upset.

Speaker 2 You get, yeah, and you get like bad anxiety and you get like itchy.

Speaker 1 Six times more likely.

Speaker 1 But I said

Speaker 1 that's hard to believe. More than what?

Speaker 2 The average person.

Speaker 1 What is the average? Because I said zero times six is still zero. Damn, that's good math.
But it is, at the end of the day, just math.

Speaker 2 And it doesn't make any sense in the story.

Speaker 1 Who's the zero?

Speaker 3 Six times more likely than someone who isn't already predisposed to cardiovascular events.

Speaker 1 Still don't know that it's. Yeah, what's cardiovascular?

Speaker 2 Because you smoke so much weed, it's fucking up the brain cells.

Speaker 1 My grandfather and dad have had heart attacks.

Speaker 3 So, yeah, so technically it's double.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. My father was a Holocaust survivor, and almost none of them smoke weed, and they didn't live long.
So really, you live longer. Get there.
Get there.

Speaker 1 Get there. Get there.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. He wrote,

Speaker 1 we asked. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I was born on Sex of the City. Okay.
Okay. She's a sex columnist in not the 1930s, in the 90s to 2000s.
And she's like, a threesome? Could I? What?

Speaker 1 In New York fucking city, she's the most prudish person in the goddamn world.

Speaker 2 She also has a very small column and a very nice apartment control department.

Speaker 1 Uh-huh. A brownstone at that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 She's on a bus.

Speaker 2 She's on a bus. She's on a fucking bus.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she's popular. And she's so, and she's the only one who won't show her boobs the whole show.
That's separate. That's an actor thing, not the character.

Speaker 2 And that's the personal gripe you have.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I mean, Samantha is,

Speaker 2 I'm, some could say too nude.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No. No one would, no, none could say that.
No bad naked for you if you didn't watch that sign-up photo. I mean, listen, girls had some bad nudity.

Speaker 1 The show girls? The show girls. Yeah.
It was like, all right, Lena, chill. We get it.
Not every episode. You can do it once in a while.
You're brave. Not every fucking episode.

Speaker 1 Somebody told her she was brave after the first season. She's like, I'm going to be brave every eight minutes.

Speaker 1 Like, no one's this naked. I'm not that naked around my own apartment.
No one's there.

Speaker 1 Put a robe on. Do something.
Who cooks eggs with their fucking pussy out? Sorry, I'm getting too dirty for this podcast. I apologize.
I'm a bad person, you guys.

Speaker 2 That's crazy.

Speaker 2 Do you refer to a pussy as a pussy?

Speaker 1 Almost never.

Speaker 1 Like, if you're talking to like a girlfriend, one of the few times that you're just right here, it's come out of my mouth way more. I usually call it a vagina.

Speaker 2 With a B? Yeah. Why the B?

Speaker 1 It makes it more stupid. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Do you want me to go down on your vagina? Vagina, yeah.

Speaker 2 I feel like most of the time the answer is no, don't you think?

Speaker 1 Yeah, once you say vagina, they're like, grow up.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. You're like deliberately trying to give them the ick so you don't have to.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're a Red Wings fan? Is that what that is?

Speaker 2 Who's Red Wings?

Speaker 1 Hockey team? Uh-huh. What's that on your neck?

Speaker 2 Oh, it's because I lost my child. So I got a wing for it.

Speaker 1 Fuck. For my baby that I lost.
Really?

Speaker 2 Sorry. Yeah, you want to

Speaker 1 dive in about it.

Speaker 1 Really?

Speaker 1 Nope. You want to unpack or? Nope.

Speaker 1 please? Anyway.

Speaker 1 That made everything else feel like a little less

Speaker 1 violating. Yeah.
That stuff gets too real. I'm like, I've lost the

Speaker 1 fun to see you get a little awkward there.

Speaker 2 Are there moments when you're on stage and you can you see your audience? Or are you those that's like, turn the lights up right? I don't want to see.

Speaker 1 Yeah, first couple rows you can see and then it just disappears.

Speaker 1 Do you look for their facial work or is that necessary in your your line of profession when you're dark nah you can do it if you want but it's like everyone's trying to do it now it's kind of like hacky i try to go the other way so you don't want to see their facial expression i'll see it and i want to see if they're having a he's just not you're he's not yeah well if something like yeah like to ari's point like it's like a bit now it's like a thing that they're it's part of their act to do some crowd work yeah everyone's like it used to just be like when you got to it it happened it happened you know somebody dropped a tray of drinks you're like let's make fun of it or if somebody shows up and something like weird but yeah i can see them it's nice when they're having a good time, but sometimes you see, like,

Speaker 1 and then you just like keep going. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I gave it up for some lady at the comedy store once. What?

Speaker 2 Oh, I said, anytime I go to a comedy show, I try to sit in the back. I'm like, I don't want to, I don't want to be subjective if you're comedy.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I just want to enjoy.
I saw some lady at the comedy store like this the whole time. Some 55, 60-year-old lady.
She was like, like a snarling face.

Speaker 1 And just like, but she was quiet the whole time. I kept looking at her.
Her husband, her boyfriend, whatever was into it. And I kept, I kept doing it, didn't mention her.

Speaker 1 And then I was like, all right, I'm done. And then I was like, before I go, though, hey, lady, I just want to give some props here.
Like, you hated me, right? She goes, yeah. And I'm like, okay, fair.

Speaker 1 But you kept your mouth shut the whole time. You didn't disrupt the show.
And it's okay to like have your tastes and likes and dislikes, but you handled it so well.

Speaker 1 Guys, let's give her a round of applause for handling it well with her distaste. And then she's like,

Speaker 1 that's all we want.

Speaker 1 Let us all enjoy.

Speaker 1 I appreciate it. I love how you didn't feel the need to remind her that it's an art and you're a comedian.

Speaker 1 It's okay to not like. Yeah, I like what you're saying.
I'm not going to be a baby about it. It's all right.
I get it. It's not for everybody.

Speaker 2 At what point did you realize you were funny, like, enough to do it in front of people?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Fourth grade right now.
Never?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was always getting thrown out of class.

Speaker 2 Oh, you were one of those. I was like, he's talking too much.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was like annoying.

Speaker 2 Did you ever have to take tests like outside? Like I was, my teacher would have to put like desks outside of the door. And you'd have to like take a test out there so that you didn't like disrupt.

Speaker 1 You guys Jewish? Are they Jewish? Nine percent, nine percent Jewish. Well, if you were over 50,

Speaker 1 um, what you do is you just pay a doctor to say your child is learning disabled, and then you can take untimed tests at home and get better grades and SETs.

Speaker 1 So did she, yep, do whatever you want to get ahead.

Speaker 2 I got extra time for sure.

Speaker 1 I could use extra time. I'm just, yeah, we all could.
You can't fucking read. Yeah, that would have helped then, the extra time.
Yeah, Jewis.

Speaker 1 No, it's Juice. Oh, Jewis.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 What is this acting?

Speaker 1 What is this word? Yeah, Jews got untimed tests. It's great.
There's white privilege, and then there's another thing that we don't like to talk about. It's Jewish privilege.
It is LA.

Speaker 2 What's so funny?

Speaker 1 She knows it. She got all the same privileges.
What school did you go to?

Speaker 2 It's called Shall Havet.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's it.

Speaker 2 Very Jew.

Speaker 1 Very Jewie.

Speaker 1 No, I'm talking about college.

Speaker 2 Oh, U of S C.

Speaker 1 USC. U of S C? University of Southern California.

Speaker 2 Southern California.

Speaker 1 Is that how how you guys say it? Oh, USC. Yeah.
Well, he went to Yeshua.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I went to Yeshiva briefly.

Speaker 2 Yeshiva. Yeah.

Speaker 1 That's nice. Yeah, untimed tests.
It's great. What a privilege.

Speaker 2 Did you feel...

Speaker 1 You can say anything. I'm good.

Speaker 1 You're going to ask me about my child. I'll take.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Have you ever?

Speaker 1 I've had some

Speaker 1 on purposes. Un purposes.

Speaker 1 You don't get a tattoo for the um purposes.

Speaker 1 You just give a heart a handshake and get her a cigarette to make sure.

Speaker 1 Go on your way.

Speaker 1 For the liberal laws in America.

Speaker 2 Why are you watching animal attack videos? Do you want to talk about that?

Speaker 1 My algorithm got me. Or the ski videos.
Yeah. What's your, you ever catch your algorithm just grabs you and takes you to a place?

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.
And it's sometimes it's a really strange place that you end up on.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I went from, there was like a dock that in like Santa Clarita that like caved like a couple months ago.

Speaker 1 It just like washed away and some guy was on it, but it stayed intact and they had to like rescue them. I was like, oh, weird.
And then from then on, it just went natural disasters.

Speaker 1 Like, it's like, oh, you must love that disasters. And then it pulled that into animal like disasters.
I was just watching puppy videos and like, what about if it went wrong?

Speaker 1 And I'm like, oh. And then it's like, okay, fine.
You don't like the puppies getting killed, but how about like lions attacking tigers? And you're like, okay.

Speaker 1 You just click on it once and then it's all it takes here. Now, every time I'm on on a hike i'm so fearful

Speaker 1 i hear a squirrel i'm just like well it's bobcat i'm big tailed

Speaker 1 well that's because it says here that you do drugs while you hike i do do drugs

Speaker 1 so maybe that's accurate that she never lies yeah i do do drugs maybe it's more the drugs than the tick tock algorithm in your head yeah yeah i mean i mean yeah that's the heart attacks That's the heart attacks.

Speaker 1 Smoking weed and nature.

Speaker 1 Smoking weed and doom scrolling. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Weed's legal. Is it really even even a drug? Is it even a drug? That's a valid question.
Well, if you're going to call weed a drug, I have no problem with that, but let's fucking call alcohol a drug.

Speaker 1 You have to call alcohol a drug then.

Speaker 2 Well, we're not the only, there's also alcoholics that's drugs, too.

Speaker 1 We're deflectors. Yeah, we all are.
Yeah, because none of us go, it's not. We just go, that is too.
Look at them.

Speaker 1 I call them a better person when I'm chilled out. More attentive to your child's needs.
Well, no.

Speaker 2 No, we actually were talking earlier this episode how he leaves chewed up gum in random places, like on surfaces, and our daughter will find it.

Speaker 1 Didn't chew it.

Speaker 2 One time she did, one time it was wrapped all around her hand.

Speaker 1 She learned a little valuable lesson that day. That's fine.
What was that? Don't smoke weed and chew gum.

Speaker 1 When she's older, she'll remember it. She'll remember that lesson.
Just like getting high, put it down, go, wait, wait. Oh, core memory.
Throw that away.

Speaker 1 That's true. She's going to vague her father.
She's going to call you

Speaker 1 not then, but later, and be like, dude,

Speaker 1 I never knew how much you were preparing me for life.

Speaker 1 do you ever know do you want to know any of mushroom parenters mushroom what parenters but like they're micro dosing yeah yeah you do i do know a few of them thoughts feelings concerns i'm okay with it as long as you do like little small amounts but also like you can see why it's scary

Speaker 1 why because like I mean, sometimes you're just gone when I go on mushrooms. You're just like, I'm out.

Speaker 1 And then, like, you don't need your kid just going, you know, one time now, and I partook, watched like 11 hours of Peaky Blinders while in our hot tub.

Speaker 1 And then Nally was doing somersaults in the pool. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then passed out naked on our floor while our dog ate the steak that we left on the table that we didn't eat.

Speaker 1 Before kids.

Speaker 1 This was before children. Dude, PK and post-K is so different.

Speaker 1 And then you'll remember your PK lives. And you're like, who was that?

Speaker 1 Do you have kids? No. No.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 none that you wanted. None that I wanted.
Yeah. I got it.
Yeah. A couple.

Speaker 1 On purposes. I'll put a couple on purposes.

Speaker 2 I just love that you said that with such conviction. Like, yeah, pre-kids left before post after post-kids left.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh my God,

Speaker 2 he's so relatable. Like, he's just like us.
Like, what was your pre-kid? Like, wait, I do, I do have a

Speaker 2 question. You're a golfer.
You were a golfer. I was a golfer.
You're not good anymore or you stopped. I was never good.

Speaker 1 Oh. I was also, I played golf at Yeshiva University.
Yeah, I played golf there.

Speaker 1 We just needed people to play, so anyone who had a golf bag could be on the team. And I was, I believe, the worst athlete in NCAA sports that year.
Oh, my God. You play golf?

Speaker 2 My dad was the 11th longest drive hitter in the world one year.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 I shot a 143 in competition.

Speaker 1 I know enough about golf to know that's not good. Yeah.
Yeah, you want to be around a 70,

Speaker 1 just just below 70. The other team was laughing.
My own coach was laughing at me.

Speaker 1 You just kept, but you played through it. I was through the team.
Yeah, I played through it. Yeah.
I mean, they had to keep supplying the ball. I don't have the patience for golf.

Speaker 1 It's after like nine holes. I'm like, fuck this shit.
I'm also a little too competitive because I'm not, like, I'm good enough to never been taught golf that I can like hit it seven hours straight.

Speaker 1 Great. Like, that's all, you know, so I can, I can keep up with like the average golfer, but like when my golfing buddies get serial.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and I'm just like, I don't know, guys, I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 2 You're also not a big drinker, which I feel like that just like goes hand in hand with golfing for 15 hours.

Speaker 1 It made golfing better when I stopped caring about the rules and had a couple nips or just like got high and then be like, Hey, I'm not, I'm not feeling this hole.

Speaker 1 I'll just, I'm just gonna go with you guys. Where's that car?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I can't even see the hole from here. My score doesn't matter.

Speaker 1 Let's just

Speaker 1 having fun, right? Yeah, we're just having fun. I'm gonna go on a little hike in the woods and meet you guys.

Speaker 2 Yeah, my friend's husband's really big golfer, and it's like they do like betting and all that stuff. And so, like, anytime my boyfriend goes with him, I'm like, you're not betting.

Speaker 2 You're going to lose.

Speaker 1 You're going to lose.

Speaker 2 They're just literally stealing money from you at this point.

Speaker 1 Yeah. How did you end up getting a job at the Arlington Cemetery? Yeah, I used to.

Speaker 2 You have a fixation with dead people?

Speaker 1 I do now. I used to lay pipe.

Speaker 2 You're so

Speaker 1 at the cemetery. Yeah, I don't know.
Somebody I knew who knew somebody was hiring. I was 16.
My first job. That was your first job.
Yeah. First time I like it.
What does one do? You lay pipe.

Speaker 1 I was a horticulturalist You just gotta like water I watered the the flowers around the tomb of the unknown soldier I put out the eternal flame once

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah

Speaker 1 Generally I had to pick up pipes like like it would go like hand male to female and lay them down on these long fields and then like let them go in the sprinklers and then when they were done like you just put them back in the truck and then take them to the next field and lay them out.

Speaker 1 But sometimes if you were good, you got like wand duty and it was just a hose with a magic wand on the end. It went up and then kind of down.
So it was like that.

Speaker 1 So then you just want walk like, you know, watering all the beautiful flowers outside. I went to the National Cemetery.
It's gorgeous. And then I didn't screw it on tight enough.

Speaker 1 And then the hoe, the magic wand came off, just popped off. And this shh, like shoot of water just went straight up into the eternal flame.
Like, what'd you do?

Speaker 1 It went out. I mean, I was like, I'm going to get hung.

Speaker 1 There's all these like tourists there, and they're kind of looking up. I can see them looking up what the word eternal means.
Because they're like, Yeah,

Speaker 1 maybe I got it wrong. And then there's a, yeah, I was like, I'm fucked.

Speaker 2 Did you like call your boss and be like, hey?

Speaker 1 There's a, I think there's a, like, a, a little,

Speaker 1 like, you know, pilot light. And it went back on.
But for like two minutes, I was like, oh, this is really bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, the Marines are there, like, walking right nearby, tomb of the United Soldier.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 Yeah. but it was fun we used to take naps in the open graves because it was cool in there no one was in there yet so it wasn't really it wasn't really like rude to anybody

Speaker 1 it was not a soldier yet so do you want to breaking it in breaking it in exactly making sure it's comfortable for these heroes um would you say that you would like to be buried or cremated okay

Speaker 1 good question for all of us by the way i say i say cremated and then given to certain parts to different people who might want it different groups of my friends would you feed it to your dog dog?

Speaker 1 I had never thought of it before. Neither have I until the beginning of this episode when I found out Leia, who just had a child.

Speaker 1 Fet. Well, umbilical cord.

Speaker 2 No, did not feed ashes to my dog.

Speaker 1 But apparently, it's a family tradition, her husband's family, that when their child's umbilical cord falls off, I don't know if you know this, as a parent, you know, you have a baby and you ties it up, and then like a week later, it dries up like a raisin and pops off.

Speaker 1 And like a lot of parents that are normal, like just keep it or do something with it. And leia feeds it to her dog really

Speaker 1 did your dog go for it such a good boy today like a treat like a special treat was it i mean you can't do that

Speaker 1 only had one kid but

Speaker 1 wow what i mean i was i take back the question i was gonna ask what kind of dog

Speaker 1 what does it matter what that doesn't have any

Speaker 1 if yeah if this is a court case you'd be like irrelevant

Speaker 1 yep

Speaker 1 your honor irrelevant to the thing it could be a pomeranian Pomeranian or German Shepherd. None of that matters.

Speaker 2 All of it is going to eat that.

Speaker 1 And was it into it?

Speaker 2 She ate it. You know, she probably didn't even taste it.

Speaker 1 It was just like,

Speaker 1 yeah.

Speaker 2 It was very crunchy.

Speaker 1 Oh, because it dried up?

Speaker 1 Can I just say boo on this? Do you regret it now that we made you feel bad for it? A little bit, yeah.

Speaker 2 I should have kept it. That was a keepsake for sure.

Speaker 1 What about the placenta thing? Were the men eat the placenta? I was offered it. You were? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Immediately turned it down. I'm definitely not one of those dads who's like trying to enjoy the whole experience.
I'm just letting you

Speaker 1 know. It's really good for you.
Oh, right. You don't want to see that.
I'm front and center.

Speaker 1 I'm holding her hand. Front and center.
You were not front and center.

Speaker 1 You didn't see it. No, no, I was.

Speaker 1 I was.

Speaker 2 You were the complete opposite of front and center.

Speaker 1 When the doctor was like, hey, do you want to help deliver the baby? I was like, you got this shit. You went to school.
I'm good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Why look at he was behind Natalie holding her hand.
Okay. You got this, babe.

Speaker 2 You're doing great. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I was like, I don't, for what reason? Here's a fingerprint.
For what reason to see it that way?

Speaker 2 He also refused to try my breast pump out before me,

Speaker 1 which I felt like. Pump your own to pump his breast.

Speaker 2 I was nervous to use it. I was like, what if it hurts? You know, I was a little scared.
I'd never used a breast pump before. Yeah.

Speaker 2 So I was like, listen, could you test it out and just let me know if it's painful?

Speaker 1 And he refused. Agreed.
Why? Why would you're going to have to do it? You'll never have to do it.

Speaker 2 But don't you feel like as in a relationship, you should just go through things together?

Speaker 1 When you must.

Speaker 1 If you're on vacation and it's raining, it's raining for both of you. But if

Speaker 1 you're off, I don't know, golfing with friends and it's raining, you don't call her and say, I need you to step outside.

Speaker 1 I need you to also get wet needlessly.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 2 you don't want to feel the contractions.

Speaker 1 You don't want to feel like that. What are you talking about? I get a punch in the face because they're like,

Speaker 1 get a nurse to just punch me every once in a while in the dick so I can feel what it's like. No, I'm sorry you're going through this, but you know,

Speaker 1 That's why I just walk around the block in whatever clothes you're on. That'll ruin your iPhone

Speaker 1 so that we can connect somehow.

Speaker 1 This is a Carrie kind of test.

Speaker 1 Carrie would absolutely make big, try all the shit. He was a little bit more.
What a little.

Speaker 1 And then she walks by his wedding. Oh, is this where your wedding was that time?

Speaker 1 I just was walking in New York. I just happened to go by.
Ugh, this lady.

Speaker 2 So you wouldn't want to be front and center. You, you're not interested in

Speaker 1 being a part of an ingrown toenail, take it out. And they, they, he's like, You want to watch? I'm like, nope, no need to see this.
I'm just looking around the room every other way.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you're trained.

Speaker 1 You got it. He's trained.
I, you know, I was like, I'll get you back later. And I have.
In what way? How have you gotten her back? I've done things for you and our child.

Speaker 2 Oh, for me. I thought you were talking about for our doctor.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. Oh, our doctor? No.
I paid her. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was a bit hefty hospital bill for sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she asked me if i wanted to help i was like do i get a discount for that you know like

Speaker 1 yeah if i don't have enough money for the check i have to wash dishes

Speaker 1 do your job doc sew it up

Speaker 2 there was um a video that went viral of a woman who was in the middle of giving birth and it's like the husband's filming i guess and all you can see is like You can't see anything but like the tops of her knees and there's like a nurse on the other side of her.

Speaker 2 And you can hear the doctor going, like, okay, you're going to tear. So, I'm probably just going to have to cut.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 2 as soon as she says it, the dogs, the nurse makes that face.

Speaker 1 And it's

Speaker 1 her first day.

Speaker 2 And they're like, why would the nurse make that face?

Speaker 1 Yeah, like you've never seen this before.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Like,

Speaker 2 the patient, the mom who's in labor is like, is that going to hurt? And she looks over at the nurse and the nurse is like, ooh.

Speaker 1 I don't think so.

Speaker 1 She's like, I don't know.

Speaker 1 That's going to fuck you up. They were going to tear your vagina.

Speaker 1 It's going to for sure hurt. Did you do that? You did the pushing one or the cutting one? I did the

Speaker 2 well,

Speaker 2 I don't think my mom thought that they like just cut everyone nowadays.

Speaker 2 You know, it was like, that's normal. That's how they get the baby out is just to cut you right open.
And I was like, no, no, no. Slice you down the middle.
That's a C-section. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Talking about like cutting your vagina to make it wider to make it come out.

Speaker 1 So there's three kinds.

Speaker 1 Slicing, cutting, and pushing. And scissoring.
And scissoring.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 no, my mom was like, they're going to, like, they do it to everyone. It's just easier to get the baby out.
And I was like, no, no.

Speaker 2 Nowadays, you do perineal massages to lubricate the area in which, which is basically like a Gucci massage.

Speaker 1 It's like the same logic as before you have anal. Yeah.
Can you imagine like the 1920s doing anal with just some like spit?

Speaker 1 Fuck barbarians.

Speaker 1 Bill plugs. For nothing.
For K-Wide.

Speaker 2 I thought you lost your anal virginity to me.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 So I'm going to have to put in my 30 days. I'm learning too much on the show.
Where is the trauma? Where is HR?

Speaker 1 I'm going to keep rocking in a shower later.

Speaker 1 You know, friends said we could talk about this stuff while we're podcasting.

Speaker 2 Listen, it's all a bit, it's all stand-up, and none. All of this is a joke.

Speaker 1 How bad did it hurt?

Speaker 1 Which one, anal or giving birth to the baby girl?

Speaker 1 Now both.

Speaker 1 I will now say both. Honestly,

Speaker 1 yeah, which one hurt worse? Anal. Because you don't get numbing.
You don't get a numbing either.

Speaker 2 Honestly, if I could get epidural for anal, I would do it every day of my life.

Speaker 1 I heard anal described like you're trying to shit out a house.

Speaker 1 If you could get epidurals, you would do a hal. I would do.
I have to do a hanal every day. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Honestly, the epidural is the best part about giving birth, other than meeting my child for the first time.

Speaker 1 Wow. Yeah.

Speaker 2 You should try epidural for your next hike or live music festival.

Speaker 1 I 100% will. Give me that Michael Jackson stuff.
They give you this thing, right?

Speaker 1 It's like a large needle in your back. And then going forward, they give you a remote control.
It's like, imagine having a remote control for your drugs, whatever your drugs are.

Speaker 1 And it's like, you can push this button as much as you want. You can't OD because you're good.

Speaker 1 Just more or less, higher or lower?

Speaker 2 You just hit, there's just a more stop hitting it if you like.

Speaker 1 It won't let you OD. It won't let you OD.

Speaker 2 Like the second I was like, I think I feel my toes more. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So at any point, you can just make sure you're at maximum high. Yeah.
Is that what you're doing? As always, like, just keep doing this. Yeah.

Speaker 1 I go to sleep. Just hit this for me for a while.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Wow. And then, and then you couldn't feel it.
Could you push out? Yeah.

Speaker 2 All you feel is like pressure, but you don't feel any. I mean, they tell you, they're like, you're going to push for 10 seconds.
And so you just like hold a push for 10 seconds.

Speaker 2 And then they're like, we see her head.

Speaker 1 And it's like, wow, I guess I do. I mean, we got very lucky with very little complications, no complications.
So, you know, it's not the same for everyone.

Speaker 1 But it was shockingly like, like, it happened real fast that part. The whole like push, push, push.
She's out. And then out.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did it make this noise?

Speaker 1 You know, there was so much going on in the room. I don't recall.

Speaker 2 If Nick would have been down there, he could have listened.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm with you. Why watch it? Why watch it? But also, I'm curiosity.
I'd watch someone else's. They got to do like a strangers in a train situation.

Speaker 1 I've seen the sex head videos back in the day, and I imagine like some, something like that. Do you just have to shave before?

Speaker 2 Honestly, I thought about that. I said, hmm, should I get like a wax or shave before? And then I said, well, wax is painful.

Speaker 2 Like, I don't need to go through that right now I'm about to go through birth

Speaker 2 if I can get the wax post that they should all have that the Brazilian place should just have an epidural while we're here while you're while you can't feel anything call in your wax yeah yeah so then I was like I guess I could shave and then I was like well that feels like a lot of open wounds like you know what if I cut myself and then like that just felt like it was a little so I just gave her a jungle to fight through yeah right sometimes they sometimes they shave it themselves the nurses will be like oh my god we got to get in here and they have a little little disposable razor.

Speaker 1 Would you have done that out of a. Would you have shaved me? I think I did.

Speaker 1 I think I said no. I meant like if she's like,

Speaker 1 I have to shave for this. Can you please also shave your D?

Speaker 1 The hair? Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. No, your dick off.
I'll meet you there. Yeah.
I'll meet you there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Every once in a while,

Speaker 1 every once in a while, I'm like, this is getting crazy. Like,

Speaker 1 yeah, I'll do it once every couple of years.

Speaker 1 Same. Yeah, this is getting crazy.

Speaker 2 I'm like, I can't see anything down there.

Speaker 1 I should probably

Speaker 1 take control. Is that gum?

Speaker 1 How long has that been there? They don't still make big red.

Speaker 1 Juicy fruit.

Speaker 1 All right. This has been a ton of fun.
It has been. You guys rule.

Speaker 1 I think you're my favorite married couple.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. I've been recording this for 14 minutes.

Speaker 1 Really? That's also a pet peeve. How easy it is to accidentally record a voice note and accidentally send it to someone via text.
Oh.

Speaker 1 I did it last night. I I got off stage, record your sets on there, and then I got off.
I thought I had stopped, and then I talked a lot of shit about people with my friend, and then I was like, oh,

Speaker 1 I just delete the whole file. So easy to send to your friend.

Speaker 1 Ari, it's so much fun. You have a great title for a Burke.
Thank you. Don't do it.

Speaker 1 Burke.

Speaker 1 Thank you. I thought I could skip myself.
You don't want to go. This makes me feel good.
You want to say? Go texture X. Happy birthday.
Solid advice. The next flip special is America Sweetheart.

Speaker 1 It's out right now. It's very funny if you want to laugh about things that make you feel like maybe you should or shouldn't laugh about it, but it's also really also funny and it is just comedy.
So

Speaker 1 it's okay. Check it out.
Thanks, buddy.

Speaker 2 I feel like anytime we have a comedian, I just open up way too much. I learned a lot.
You could say that this segment was educational.

Speaker 2 I feel like with Heather McMahon, I opened up about like things I definitely shouldn't have. It's like we just.

Speaker 1 Well, what are they? They say like, you know, usually comedy stems from like dark childhood trauma.

Speaker 2 Yeah, there's that whole, it's, well, it's that whole thing that's like, why I'm funny is because X, Y, and Z happened to me. You know, it's like this.
Learn to laugh or else I cry.

Speaker 3 All I could think is crowd work is afraid of Natalie because she banters.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.
Well, we just want to thank our guests, Jason and Melanie, as well as Ari for joining us. Be sure to follow them and check out their work as well.

Speaker 1 Oh, and if you haven't already, be sure to check out the Barbie for a Going Deeper episode that dropped yesterday. It's a really great one, especially for all you Euphoria fans.

Speaker 1 She's got a really excellent new movie called Bob Trevino Likes It. Be sure to check that out as well.

Speaker 1 Next week, we got the Bachelor finale, and we will be interviewing your runner-up, which I think will be juicy. I think maybe this finale might be worth you guys tuning into.

Speaker 1 That will be with us next Wednesday for Going Deeper. And obviously, we will talk about the finale a little bit on

Speaker 1 Tuesday's recap. So much more coming ahead.
Excited to bring it to you. We'll see you then.
Bye.