E903 Going Deeper with Barbie Ferreira

If you're a maintenance supervisor for a commercial property, you've had to deal with everything from leaky faucets to flickering light bulbs.

But nothing's worse than that ancient boiler that's lived in the building since the day it was built, 50 years ago.

It's enough to make anyone lose their cool.

That's where Grainger comes in.

With industrial-grade products and dependable fast delivery, Grainger can help with any challenge.

From worn-out components to everyday necessities.

Call, clickgrainger.com, or just stop by. Granger, for the ones who get it done.
Lowe's knows that your business is built on speed and trust. That's why the Lowe's Pro Desk is here to get you what you need the moment you need it.
We'll help you plan your project, calculate your materials, and pivot when your job takes an unexpected turn. And with our pro-only checkout and dedicated pro parking, you have what you need to tackle your job and be back on the job in no time.
Just visit us at the Pro Desk. Lowe's Knows Pros.
We help. You save.
Y'all know I cannot shut up about anything that I order and I wear from Skims. Everything is just so good.
But their Fits Everybody Intimates collection is truly one of a kind. It is so comfortable.
It feels like you're wearing nothing. There's nothing worse than a bra, like wire stabbing you, poking you all day long, or a lace that's a little itchy.
You can't use Skims and Discomfort in the same sentence. It's impossible.
A few of my favorite products are the Fitz Everybody Dipped Front Thong. It feels like you're wearing nothing at all and it perfectly molds to your body.
The Fitz Everybody Boy Short is what I wore postpartum right after I got out of diapers. It was so comfortable.
It made me feel like a human being again. The Fitz Everybody t-shirt bra is what I am wearing right now and what I wear every day of my life because it is the bra that you forget you're wearing.
Shop Skims best intimates including the Fits Everybody collection and

more at skims.com and Skims stores. After you place your order be sure to let them know we

sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure suge our she's like a family friend sugarlin beard she like watches our daughter she's those amazing boys no she's she's miss rachel like all of our friends like oh does like your daughter watch miss rachel i'm like we have a miss rachel in person real life Miss Rachel like all of our friends like oh does like your daughter watch Miss Rachel I'm like we have a Miss Rachel in person real life Miss Rachel I love her for 10 years I love her character in it too she's like it's chilling crazy lady I mean it's so funny because she's so the opposite of it but she's so cool I'm pregnant was so cool it was my first movie really it was in New Mexico baby Albu New Mexico, baby.
Albuquerque. I've been to New Mexico once.
Ben, you got your Do Not Disturb on your phone? Henny. What's crazy is that people, no matter how much you tell them to silence their phone, because I did a play and every night, every single show, there would be a phone going off.
Every single show. Are you serious? Every single show.
I also think that people, like some people are just like not really in tune with their, I think it's a lot of like the older folks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like no, it's been off for years. Nowadays with me, I feel like my phone just decides to go and do not disturb.
Yeah. And then you just assume it's always on do not disturb and then.
And then you don't. I love a do not disturb.
Oh, plus. D&D, baby.
I'm always like, notify anyway. Notify anyway.
I used to do that. I used to do that and and my friend did that the other day When I was in rehearsal I got so mad And I did it so many times I was being such a hypocrite I was like why would you do that she's like that's all you do Does it actually notify I was like ding ding Sorry everyone I thought I was on Do Not Disturb I did not know and I was on Do Not Disturb Disturb.
How about that? Yeah, a lot of people, literally every single show was that. And then some people had like really like crazy ringtones, which I didn't know is still in 2025.
And it would just be like a song playing. Or like the Star Wars theme.
I used to wake up to a sound tone of Tommy Boy with Chris Farley. Okay.
When David Spay was knocking on the door. Oh my God.
That was your alarm sound? That was my alarm sound. And it was just a really weird looking back.
Everything that you have as an alarm sound becomes a horrible... Like this memory where you're just like, ah, you know? But back in the day when it came out, you were like, oh my God, this is so cool.
I know, I want to bring back ringtones, actually. Now that I think about it, I'm like, why not? Bring back tones? Bring back tones.
I was a psychopath that had the default setting on my screensaver until my wife told me. What is it now? Now it's my family.
Okay, cool. That's usually what it's for.
Yeah. Or your pets.
It was like the raindrops for so long. I'm like, okay.
I thought it was cool. You don't like to have a little aesthetic on anything? You know, I just didn't think about it.
You didn't think about it. That's what wives are for.
Sometimes I forget to be a human. Truly, it's what wives are for.
Their wives are for. They're the spice of the aesthetic of everything.
All men are a little psychopathy without a lady by their side. I agree.
Just a little rough around the edges. They just need a little bit of help.
Why would you do that? Why would you do that? I feel that. Barbie, how are you? Welcome to the show.
I'm so good. Thank you for having me.
We're so excited. I'm so excited to be with you.
Absolutely love the movie. Bob Trevino likes it.
Thank you. It's awesome.
I mean, I cried several times. Oh.
Mostly like happy tears. Obviously, it's an emotional film.
There's movies now and then that you watch that kind of really make you, especially in the times that we live in today, just like sometimes through sadness, you know, but like I think we're just living in this world where we're just constantly focused on ourselves and what we need in our own world. And it's easy to think about how life gets us down.
and I think, you know, Bob Trevino likes it about, you know, Lily and the character who, you know, really had no one, you know, and then this bond between these characters makes you appreciate, you know, makes you, it reminds you that you sometimes have to look up a little bit, you know, and see maybe people in need and things like that. You know, like one thing Natalie really helped me with when I, when we met is like you know i could be on my phone in my own world it just like now i would always say hi to a cashier greeter or a barista and things like that you know yeah which i've gotten better at yeah like i feel like this movie in a weird way kind of just reminds you to like connect with people yeah you know but it was it's just such a beautiful movie thank you so much i totally agree with you i think you know the lots of like the um reactions i've been getting and reading about people's reactions has been like kind of like it's so confronting about like kindness it's like it's an exposure therapy to kindness was one of the comments i read and i was like that's so true it's like i feel like this movie really is so hopeful and yet so dark but so uplifting i just feel like people don't really make stuff like that anymore.
It's usually something fancy with a camera trick and cool clothes and all that stuff. So it's just like this film really meant a lot to me.
I mean, obviously for personal reasons, but I think for people who are watching it, it's really cool to see the reactions. And I know Tracy, who's the director and writer, she's been doing her little tour around the, outside of the country, too, for all these kind of mini film festivals and really hearing from people.
And it's just been so sweet. It's like it's really cool to be part of something that makes people really emotional.
I feel like I don't even know, you know, the things that my friends watch it. I didn't even know that they would have that reaction.
Yeah. No, it's it's an emotional film film but very uplifting and obviously peaks and valleys of some sadness but it always it has a very inspirational i mean it was really touching yeah and like you said you don't you don't see a lot of films uh nowadays like that yeah i think it's really radical to do a movie that is like genuinely just about being nice i'm like you know i feel like we live in like a world where we're very um critical about ourselves about other people and um tracy's voice in this movie is just i remember she we even had like a line that we were like was like a small character and it wasn't even mean or anything but it was like a slight joke and she was like i don't want to make fun of anyone in this movie.
Like she just has such a like, like a sweetheart. And like her voice just like radiates through the film.
And it's just like, it's such a like, it's a warm hug. And also like, really, like stays with you.
I mean, I gosh, I had to actually do it. So like two months after I was like, Oh, my God, how am I gonna recover from this? So it's so cool that people like it.
I mean, we did it for like so little money in Kentucky. Very tiny crew.
Very, very tiny. And everyone just trying to make it happen.
And we did, which is honestly a miracle. What connected you and drew you to playing Lily Trevino? Well, when I read the script two years ago, I just felt so connected because I have like my own father issues.
Like I don't have a father in my life. Yeah.
I mean, it turns out A tale is a it turns out a lot of times yeah turns out a lot of people have problems with their fathers um you know and I kind of I spent a lot of my childhood just kind of um ignoring it like it was like kind of this like elephant in the room that I had like this father that like I just don't talk about um and he was in my life till I was like seven and then he just like did you know kind of dipped and left the country in fact nice right way why not so you know for me this was like a when i started doing therapy when i was like 18 19 i went in for other reasons and i kind of was like well my childhood like who cares you know it's all about like what like 18 19 whatever my problems were then which is probably like you know dating and being in new york and being insane and you know and i remember she really like made me talk about childhood, and I just didn't really think it connected to any of it. Sure, yeah.
And so when I did, I was like, oh my god, my father actually, this emptiness in my life actually really affects me every day without me knowing. It's very subconscious.
So for me, when I started talking to Tracy, we just had very similar situations happen. Obviously, like the father in the movie

is a bit different than mine.

Mine wasn't even there.

So at least he was there.

He showed up for lunches.

I guess.

Yeah.

I don't know if that's much,

if it's what's better or worse,

but you know,

it just felt really deep to me.

Like I connected so much with it

and then my manager read it

and he connected with it

and I feel like everyone who's seen it

who has like this like family trauma

of any kind really connects.

And even people who don't, you know, they're like, there's been reactions like, who would ever do this to their kid? I'm like, you clearly are blessed. Sadly too many to your point.
Sadly too many. I mean, anyone can be a parent.
I mean, that's if you want. And so it's just, yeah, the script really, and I felt for Lily.
Because even though I have gone through things with her, things like you know she's so different than me in a lot of ways and it was such a cool character to play that was outside of what I usually do you know playing like goth girl which I always love doing but it was just like it was just I can't believe Tracy even saw that character from my previous work you know it was like it was because this movie has like very little if any like sex or you know any of that kind of like shocking kind of like you know whatever it is but it was just really cool it was yeah i think to your point a lot of times when you have like a complex character and obviously lily is there's always like this you know like the good angel dark angel kind of like there's always like what's behind behind the curtain where Lily was like this unbelievably emotionally resilient, uplifted person. All these scenes were like, you would expect like this absolute crash, you know, from her, but she just kept finding new ways to like pick herself back up, which was like really inspiring.
But also like how, when you're performing and playing a character like that, there are just a lot of heavy scenes, you know, where you really had to give, you know, emotionally. Like, how do you do stuff like that? Was that taxing on you emotionally? You know, as an actor, are you able to dip in and dip out of these characters? Do you have to kind of sit in it? You know, if you're doing one of these scenes that maybe might require a few takes and things like that, like, what is that like? And how do you perform? Because it's really like a beautiful performance.
You really believe it. I'm always like, you know, you want to hug your character.
But how do you do that? You know, it's... I think every character is super different.
I think with Lily, and also like I'm a new actor. So every time I do a project, I really learn so much about myself.
And with Bob Trofino specifically, I think when I'm doing a character I for the two months that I'm somewhere like Kentucky or Louisiana or New Mexico it's just I really do unintentionally start really dropping into the character even outside of being there just because you're living in the place you're there isolated you're really in like the workflow um for this one specifically I had to like really find the boundaries of like you know because i i like to like talk to everyone all the time and and that's totally great when it's just like a normal scene and but when you have to really like go deep and kind of get into the darker parts you know you have to really isolate i read to find like little like closets and all the locations to just like sit in you know i won't spoil it but there was like one location that there was like a little phone booth and it was literally like tiny and I was just sitting there for like 20 minutes like listening to sad music because I had to do like a pretty intense scene. But, you know, after I'm done with the scene, it actually like leaves me.
I think a lot of people sometimes can't get out of it, but it almost feels like an adrenaline like rush after because you're like, okay, this was like on my mind. Like I really wanted to do this justice.
And I can just like you know and then when I'm done I'm like okay we did it you know and if I'm proud of it I mean most of the time I don't even know what I did you know what I mean I'm like at the point I'm like I hope it was fine and you know you like I blacked out you literally black out and I was like I just trust the director to tell me if it was good or not but this one was it did hit deep and like I And like, I feel like it was like a tough summer for me in general. And doing the movie was actually pretty therapeutic, I think.
And, you know, it was like untangling a lot of the stuff inside of me. And the whole crew and cast, like the things that you learn from people when you watch something like this or you like are working on something like this, it's like, you know, everyone was there with us.
It was so sweet. It was really like the sweetest like experience of my life it was very healing i was about to say i'm sure it's like you probably didn't realize it or know that that would happen going into it but like healing your younger self from like what you experienced from your dad through like playing this whole character and like building this bond with this guy it's like i feel like that was incredibly healing for you just as like your inner child.
Absolutely. And speaking of the inner child, I feel like when I approached this role, I felt like it was like Lily is the inner child.
You know, there was something about her that was just so young. And like, there's like this like sweet night, like naive, that naivete, I don't know how to say it, but you know, it was just like a very, it feels like every, because she has so much unresolved trauma, it's like the inner child is like the forefront.
Yeah. So that's why I feel like, you know, in the scenes where things, where she like balled it up so much and then she exploded, it was like, you know, the kid inside like really was the motivating or the thing I kept thinking of is like, what is the little Lily like thinking? And where does that like put her in it? And that's why like some of the scenes like it's at the surface it might not be very you know emotional but then when Lily is in it it's stuff that she can't even like process consciously you know I think that that's from that was part of my whole thing in general growing up so I didn't know what an inner child was and then once I started doing therapy and like really like caring about myself and I think that's what Lily, that's her journey in this movie, then I really realized what that meant and how that informs everything that you do in your life.
So I think it's like the first chapter of her vibes. The scene, not to give too much away, where Lily's therapist cries.
Yes. I saw an interview.
You mentioned that your first therapy session. Not my first, but I've had therapists cry.
You've made a therapist cry. I have.
And it was very awkward. Was that in the script originally or it was? It happened to Tracy as well.
So we have a lot I didn't think this was a common thing. I thought maybe this therapist was just a fluke or something and just really but it tracy and and when we talked i was like oh my gosh this is crazy i guess this happens to not just me um but yeah it definitely happened pretty recently actually wow yeah a couple years ago how did you deal with something like that um i was just like ha ha because in the movie it's great does that make you feel and does that make you feel Like, bad? Yeah.
Like, how's your inner child feeling? Yeah, how's your inner child? It was our first session ever, too. So I was like, okay, you know, therapist, you got to date.
I have this great therapist in New York who I love. And she was such a wonderful person in my life.
And when I moved to LA six years ago, I've still been dating therapists here and there. I have that I like but it's just like I haven't found the one that I'm like oh this is the person and maybe this is the one that I have right now is the person but it's like it feels like dating literally very much is and I always remind people too it's just like you know not all doctors are created equal not all mechanics are dated equal or therapists and you know like because therapy has become in the best possible way.
So normalized. Now there's kind of this increase of, you know, new therapists and you kind of you have to weed through.
You got to find someone who speaks your language, too, who understands your like your life. Or also you do have to kind of check in with yourself, just like in dating where, you know, we we have a format.
It's called Ask Nick. People call in and ask like relationship questions i'm always like i'm not a therapist but here's what i think and lots of times the you know the people who call in are in therapy i'm like well what does your therapist think about this and sometimes it's just like well we've been talking about this for like two years and it's just like well i'm not here to tell you not to like yeah but like have you made progress or like have you changed you know like if they asked you this or that and you And sometimes you have to ask, but like, have you made progress? Or like, have you changed? You know, like if they asked you this or that, and you know, and like, sometimes you have to ask, like, where have I gotten with this topic? Or why haven't I explored something else? Because like, you know, it is nice to talk about your feelings, but like sometimes- You have the progress.
Yeah, when you have friends, you know, like I used to be that person when I was going through heartbreaks where I would just like, I would find that one two person in my life that friend it was usually like a woman friend sometimes it was like a co-worker who like there was a bit of a disconnect where i felt like i could just like unload my you know emotions on this and they were just like you know excited they'd love to hear it it'd be great and then i would like exhaust them and i would find someone else to like also you know but there was this is so funny that humans just do this and we're like, why are we so weird? I'm like, everyone does this. There's no progress.
There's no, like you just kind of start, you forget. And I think sometimes even with therapy, if you don't have a good therapist, you can become connected to talking about the pain that you're experiencing with, or like that becomes familiar, especially like heartbreak.
You know know i always tell people just be careful because like sometimes missing them and and wishing you're with them is that last part of the relationship you have to let go because like and you know when you really think it's over that's the scary part so you hold on to the pain because that's the thing that you have left and like sometimes a therapist who maybe isn't as good as they could be or you're not connecting with can you know keep you in that keep you in that and because there's so many different kinds of therapy and i've tried a lot of different ones and you know it's like some things are just there's some kind of therapy where you just talk and they say nothing you know they just talk therapy there's like cbt there's like so many different kinds and you know it's interesting because it people are just like a vague statement it's just like go to therapy you know and it's like well we gotta educate people on like what kind of help they might want or what works for them and you know trust me i've had some bad therapists okay and i'm like how are you yeah a professional i'm scared i'm scared you know so it's like it's interesting because it's you know it's people at the end of the day you know this human error and everything and i think you know with this scene it was it's so funny because when i when i read it i was like this is no no way this isn't the script because this just happened to me like literally at the time it must have been like very recently too so i was just like oh this is the world, the universe telling me to do this movie. Cause it's like eerily like similar to your life.
It's eerily close. Through therapy, like what is something that you've kind of learned about yourself for the better? You know, where, you know, we've talked about obviously that maybe the challenges of therapy, but what's something maybe that when you've kind of discovered the whole idea of your inner child, I mean, I learned that the first time I, started in therapy when i was in covid and it was more like i advocate for therapy i'm doing okay but like you know sit at home might as well you know i felt like generally pretty good it wasn't like uh you know life is dark you know and then the first first session it was like how many brothers and sisters do you have tell me about your parents all this and just kind of just and i had a generally great childhood but like just understanding the premise yeah of that you know and why we do what we do why we maybe sit in our emotions why we act a certain way you know and then as you get older you do like as i get older at least it's like that uh what's that commercial you grow up to be your parents and things like that where it's just like i know every once in a while i'll have this like feeling where i'm like when did i become my dad and then you learn about that and you then then you became more self-aware about like your triggers and like how your parents reacted to you and you're like oh holy shit you know and so what did you learn about yourself through kind of diving into therapy gosh i learned so much i think i used to do therapy when i kid, but it was, I grew up in like a very like low income family.
So it wasn't the best. It was kind of, you know, what my insurance could cover.
And it was, you know, it did the job, I guess. But when I started doing therapy as an adult, I used to just think I was crazy.
And I think that that's, or I'm the problem. And I think that a lot of people just assume that like, oh no, it's just me Like, I just attract this kind of like negativity in my life.
And what I really started really deeply understanding is that everything, all my reactions, it is my responsibility to like fix it. But it's not my fault, you know.
And I think that that's really I remember like the first time, like the first few sessions of this, you know, my therapist was like, there's like stages to this. You're going gonna get really angry at the people you grew up with and then you're gonna like you know accept it and then you're gonna forgive that you know there's like or that's like kind of like what happens like you start getting angry you're like why did you do this to me and then you know i think through all these years what i've realized is like we all are doing our best but that doesn't mean that it was good yeah it does not mean it was good and accepting both those truths at the same time like i don't i was raised by my mom my grandma they're incredibly great people love them but i can also accept that like the childhood wasn't yeah great i think i've gotten to a place where it's like i'm able to look at my dad and the relationship that he's able to have with his children and be like you know that's the best the best that you can do.
Like, yeah, you, you don't have a dad bone in your body, but like that you're doing the best you can, you know? And like, honestly, I just stopped expecting dad things from him and like, it's fine now. Sometimes you imagine like a parent getting off the phone, you know, and thinking, I was a good parent there.
And the kid on the other end of the phone being like, that was horrible. What was that? And sometimes there's a disconnect.
And I've had to learn as I've gotten older the difference between, I think sometimes we're afraid to empathize with people we don't understand or we're in conflict with because we feel like empathizing with them is justifying their actions. But sometimes you can learn how to empathize, not to justify, explain, or let them off the hook but at least like just understand where they're coming from you know just to know that it's like and of course there's some people who it is an ill intentioned malice in their heart of course and you know one can debate that but it's good to understand that generationally things are just you know everyone is just trying to do a little bit better than the last and i always said i'm like well my mom grew up in brazil and she was like in a tiny

town and like you know all these things she was you know it was it was bad you know and then my

i'm like i'm i grew up in new york i lives in jersey i like went to a high school in america

like you know so for me it was kind of like i almost like um didn't even think of any of the

problems because i was like well it's much better than how my mom grew up it's also like I bet your mom didn't get therapy at 18 19 you know like my mom didn't either and so now I look at the issues that we're having and it's like you know if you were able to have like gone back and gotten therapy and like healed this then maybe we wouldn't be having these types of issues but it's like you have to get down to like their level and be like, OK, you haven't unlocked like this part of you yet. Yeah.
That's why like we have these issues. Absolutely.
My mom started doing therapy, I think, like must have been like 20 years ago at this point, you know. And what's funny is also my mom had me at 21.
OK. So we grew up together.
I'm the only child. She's 21.
And really, like, you know, really trying to make it work with having a child and being, like, an immigrant. So I have so much empathy for her for that.
And also, I think, like, in Brazilian culture, it's always just, like, you know, I've always heard of, like, the stories that my grandma used to, like, beat my mom up, you know? And, like, ha, ha, ha. That's funny.
And, like, that's totally normal. And, like, all these, like, culturally all these like culturally it was just completely different so like trying to connect with my family and some people like my mom will go to therapy and it's great and then some other people you just kind of have to realize that they are gonna do what they want to do there is just nothing you can do about it and that's really the hard part is like letting go of like the control that you have with your family and it's like I can't help you if you don't want to be helped and I just have to watch you kind of destroy everything you know it's it's it's sad but there's something you know I'm like 28 now and I know if I'm gonna call my mom about something and my mom is a funny amazing she's so hilarious and if I call her if I you know need stitches or something she's gonna freak out yeah I'm not she's not the one that I need to call first yeah you know and no matter what like I'm 28 like at this point I know that like if there's like a problem like that like she's gonna be screaming on the other side of the phone on the plane you know and I can just like relax yeah so I know where to get calm like I know where to go like I have my friends I have my my family I know who's the strengths of everyone and I don't expect anyone to do something that's radically different than what they are because i'm only gonna get disappointed right i'm like it's just not gonna happen yeah so much about this movie is like kind of that almost like a second storyline almost or theme maybe is a better word for is like the found family you know and you know sadly for people who don't have a healthy relationship with you know their parents or relatives obviously a lot of people in the lgbtq community like will have to you know feel like maybe their family isn't it for them and what's that like for you do you have like a found family in la and and who are those people that you've really connected with and and made like a new? Absolutely.
So I have a really small family because my whole family is Brazilian except for me. And so my mom, my grandma, my aunt lived here in the US.
So it was only three people out of like, you know, cousins and siblings, not my siblings, but you know, everyone. So we always had like chosen family, like every Christmas, every Thanksgiving, it would be like 60 Brazilians who they can't go back home.
And so even like the last Thanksgiving, I went to my mom's house and there were literally like a hundred people there. And it's people that I grew up with who are like family, but you know, we're not in Brazil, so we can't see our extended family.
So we have like an extended family within the family, within Brazilians in like the New York area, right? And so, and my mom was really far away and my grandma moved back to Brazil, my aunts in Florida. So I really, you know, very sparse family in the States.
So for me, I mean, I have like my best friends. I have people that I really lean on.
And every time I have like a family thing, it's like my friends also come because they mean that much. And my mom also has that too, where it's like, we just value friendship a lot.
And that's really important to me. And I think is not like instilled in everyone.
Like people think that like they're, I think can only be like really close with like their family or their partners and they can't have this like really close like platonic bond, you know? And so for me, it's, I always grew up with people who weren't blood like related, but we're like family and I would call them Chia and she was like aunt and uncle and uncle and like you know and these are people that have known me my whole life too so i think chosen family is especially if their family's not here if the family is not accepted i know tons of people who like you know we celebrate holidays together because you know they might or they might come to my my family's holidays and you know be part of that because they don't have that so i think chosen chosen family is really important. And I think it's not valued as much.
And, you know, for me, friendship has always been like number one. What is like traits or qualities that you think keep a friendship like lasting? Like how do you think you've made these friendships last so long? Oh, gosh.
A lot of my friends are like people I've been friends with for a long, long time. I think making fun of each other.
I do that with my best friend, Ben, who happens to be in the room right there. Hey, girl.
Hi, Ben. He comes everywhere with me.
But, you know, I think having like laughing, being there, like loyalty, you know, we all support each other to the max. We make fun of each other like in a playful way.
We like keep it just, you know, it's like family. It's like having siblings.
I never had a sibling. So that's why I assume having a sibling is like, where it's like, no matter what, we're there for each other.
And it's really, I think, important, especially since I'm far away from everyone and I have such a small, tiny little family. It's all crazy, great women.
It's great to have people that I've met through my life who stick around yeah yeah well let's stick around part is i this is the important part because you know the thing about family you know i have 10 siblings okay opposite of me the opposite and i joke i mean getting a dog taught me something and that is the difference between unconditional love and unconditional like oh okay you know where i was like oh i don't my parents they don't unconditionally like me you know like they unconditionally love me like like and love very different right like my dogs everything i do is awesome to them and my parents it's just like sometimes you're an asshole kind of thing right and that's the nice thing about family is that you can just know even though there's a disconnect or maybe your guys are bumping personalities that for a lot of people not always because obviously sometimes like with lily's character it's it's it's very dark but you just you feel that sense of like i have a community i have people and with friendships i think sometimes people struggle with because especially like la is a perfect example lot of transplants, a lot of people trying to make friends. People will start hanging out.
They'll connect. They'll have fun.
But then as you guys get to know each other, you see some of the cracks in each other. People make bad decisions.
People make mistakes. And then sometimes instead of sticking around, there's more of a like, I don't want anything to.
The L.A. flakiness happens to us all.
And then people really have to kind of go through those trial and error periods with friendships because like, you know, I always say like everyone calls himself loyal. It's like one of those things where people will say, you know, no one's like, yeah, I'm not loyal.
I'm a completely disloyal person. But the truth is, is like a lot of people just aren't, you know what I'm saying? A lot of people aren't like, they're loyal to the degree that like, as long as they, their needs are served in a relationship, they're good to go.
But when things get tough, when someone's down bad, and maybe they're down bad because of their own choices and mistakes, you know, but like the friends who may stick around, have a tough conversation. Maybe, maybe it's like, you know, you kind of, friendship is all about tough conversations, you know? So, but like that stick around part is always really important.
And I, yeah, it's just like, I've, people love to call themselves loyal and, and we got put them to the loyalty test. Yeah.
We got to, we got to, we got to test them. Yeah.
I feel like I totally agree with you. Cause I, I've been living in LA for six years and almost all my friends all my friends are people that I met in New York, which is also a very similar kind of vibe.

Maybe instead of Hollywood, it's more like fashion and art, but people are there for their own interests. And I grew up in New York and Jersey and all my friends are people that I've known for so long.

And I rarely have people.

And I meet people that are great all the time.

But having that like friendship where you can have a tough conversation. all my friends are people that I've known for so long and I rarely have people.

And I meet people that are great all the time,

but having that like friendship where you can have tough conversations,

you can like read your friends and just be like,

you need to get it together or I need to get it together.

I'm in a horrible like place right now and they're understanding.

And it's not just like putting a bandaid over it,

but like continue.

It's like having a relationship.

It's like almost,

I mean to me,

my friendships are way deeper than the relationships I've had just because they've been longer and they've been i guess like the trials that it's been tested more you know and i just think it's incredibly important because especially now people feel so lonely and uh i mean lily's a great example just like loneliness and just like people aren't interacting as much they're not not going outside as much. They're not like connecting with people.
And it's, I mean, it's been happening slowly for, you know, a while now. But it's just, I think a lot of people just feel really lonely.
And it's causing a lot of problems, actually. Like major issues.
Yeah, 100%. Major.
People need to get outside, say hi, put them, you know, get out of their comfort zone, interact with people. You know, people are always like, how do I meet new people? It's like, well, you have to put yourself out there.
I have to put yourself out all the time. I'm like, I can't just be at home all day.
If I want to see the sunshine and talk to people, I have to actually go out the front door. Making an effort is hard.
I mean, and I'm trying to get better. I think one of my New Year's resolutions this year is to like make sure that I'm not missing like my friend's birthdays for no reason or, you know, making a concerted effort to be there for the people that I love, even if it's at like if it's harder to do, even if I have to make it work.
You know what I mean? So I just think that that's really important because I would whatever I expect people to do for me, you know, I want to give back to the people I love. And, you know And it seems kind of silly to be like, I should be a good friend too.
But I think that I just like in checking myself and being like, okay, sometimes I'm an actor. We all are always just thinking about ourselves.
That's really what you do all day. You're like, huh, it's a very crazy industry.
And I don't want to take up all the space in conversations and stuff, especially when I'm frustrated. It feels like I can ruminate on something over and over again.
So just being a good friend, and also just being honest. If something goes wrong, I just am like, listen, this is what is happening with me.
It has nothing to do with you, or it does have something to do with you, and I hope you forgive me, but I just need a second because I'm going crazy. Yeah.
And that's what like that subtlety in this movie kind of shows that kind of like that balance between, again, like the climate that we're in today, right? Like the awareness of therapy. And again, there's that balance between understanding your childhood, understanding your trauma, understanding what happened and how that relates to you, but still being able to think outside of your needs, right? Because a lot of therapy is very reflective, right? A lot of, a lot of, you know, today's understanding, you know, the generational trauma and yada yada, which I think can be great and very beneficial, but like the, the risk sometime is allowing that person almost to become a little selfish and self-centered and like only focusing on what has happened to them and why they've been wronged and why they've been victimized by the people around them.
And that can be both true and valid, but we have to remind ourselves that there's a whole world going on around us. There's other people, our friends and strangers.
There's that moment in the movie where bob's talking to his wife and he's pointing out like lily is this like you know i don't what was he's she's in the void screaming i love that line because it's so sad it's sad and he talks about how like you know she's getting no engagement and likes and i think a lot of people in today's age would look at that and go ew weird what's wrong with what's wrong with her why is she saying like hashtag best lunch ever like that's so weird there's moments in that movie where lily is is kind of like giving a little crazy you know exactly like stop posting so much why are you posting that one you know what I mean is like what I think about this movie is that it's like a really great character study on someone who is just you know I think for me I'm just like shrouded in like I'm like so Gen Z and like I have like third voice in my head about the internet, like what looks cool, what doesn't. And I really actively try to like combat that.
And I know a lot of people feel that way where it's like, you just feel like you're just watched and judged for everything. And with Lily, she's just a pure heart that like, when you see someone be so vulnerable, it's so like affecting, especially now, I think because we're so used to not wanting to cringe not wanting to feel like empathy for people that like maybe we don't understand where they're coming from and so this character was really just so interesting to me because you know she there's so many people like her who are just like hungry for any kind of um friendship and and really lonely and you know and and people might make fun of her.
I feel like that's, I think what really is uncomfortable about it is that people might see themselves kind of in her and also in the people that are affecting her. You know what I mean? It feels like you kind of have to be in your head and be like, this person is clearly traumatized and wanting to have people around her.
But, you know, I, I'm not used to seeing someone so, you know, excited and earnest and, and, and all this stuff. And it's like, it's almost like a little bit of like, it's, it's very, I always say confront, it confronts you with it.
And I totally, yeah, I totally agree with you. And it's, I think Lily is just like, for me is a very good representation of like the people that we ignore, you know people that don't matter quote unquote on the internet you know we're like following influencers and people who are like living this like really fabulous life and you know all this stuff and then there's this girl who's like she's not doing like a get ready with me she's not like she has no idea about the algorithm or it's on Facebook it's like not even supposed to be it's supposed to be for like family and friends, you know, it's like, she genuinely just wants family and friends and it's so sweet.
And I think it's also people just don't think that way. You know, I just think that they're ashamed of feeling like they want people and to admit that they don't have people around them.
Yeah. If you're running a business, you know that every time you miss a call, you're leaving money on the table.

And when every customer conversation matters, you need a phone system that keeps up with you and helps you stay connected.

That's why you need OpenPhone.

OpenPhone is the number one business phone system that streamlines and scales your customer communications.

It works through an app on your phone or computer, so no more carrying two phone lines or using a landline.

With OpenPhone, your team can share one number and collaborate on customer calls and texts like a shared inbox that way any teammate can pick up right where that last person left off keeping response times faster than ever plus with ai-powered call transcripts and summaries you'll be able to automate follow-ups ensuring that you'll never miss a customer interaction again so whether you're a one--person operation drowning in calls and texts or have a large team that needs better collaboration tools, OpenPhone is a no-brainer. See why over 50,000 businesses trust OpenPhone to manage their business calls and texts.
OpenPhone is offering my listeners 20% off your first six months at openphone.com slash V-I-A-L-L. That's O-P-E--p-h-o-n-e.com slash v-i-a-l-l one more time that's openphone.com slash v-i-a-l-l and if you have existing numbers with another service open phone will port them over at no extra charge open phone no missed calls no missed customers every now and then we're reminded of those healthy resolutions we've made over the years to lose weight, exercise more, eating better.

But a goal without a plan is a plan to fail. And that's where ProLong's five-day program gives you the tool to put your health goals into action with the science-backed plan that makes it easy to stay focused and achieve those real results.
Research and developed for decades at USC's Longevity Institute and backed by leading U.S. medical centers, Prolong helps support healthy blood sugar, enhanced skin appearance, fat loss, and improved energy and focus post-fast.
Prolong's Fasting Mimicking Diet is a revolutionary plant-based nutrition program that nourishes the body while making cells believe they're fasting. It all starts with their five-day program, snacks, soups, and beverages designed to keep your body in a fasting state.
No guesswork or planning required. Three consecutive cycles of Prolon have been shown to reduce your biological age score by an average of 2.5 years and your waist circumference by 1.5 inches.
To help you kickstart a health plan that truly works, Prolon is offering the Vile Files listeners 15% off site-wide plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their five-day nutrition program. Just visit prolonlife.com slash V-I-A-L-L.
That's P-R-O-L-O-N-L-I-F-E dot com slash V-I-A-L-L to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift, prolonlife.com slash V-I-A-L-L. I mean, you started in this industry modeling, correct? I moved to New York at 15 to pursue a modeling career and I have nothing but like trauma and bad memories about that time in my life how do you look back at that time in your life well I think for me I was I started modeling when I was 16 and I worked with a lot of people that I knew so I would like always at first at first it was like you know was like, you know, I did editorials with my friend Petra Collins, who's like a great artist.
And we would do like pictures of me in like a bedroom. Like, you know, it was a very specific look.
And it was always for like art magazines and stuff. So that was always really cool because it was friends.
And I always shot with friends. I met people, you know.
And then when I started doing it professionally, I was like 18 or so. You know, I never had like a really horrible experience.
Like I never, you know, even though I model for American Apparel, which had like that whole drama, which never affected me or anything. But the thing that I think was really hard for me was that I felt like I just wasn't healed from, I was 18, freshly 18, just got out of my mom's house all alone, being flown out to like, you know, Germany to go do e-com and and all that and i would go every day it's like go do and i just was like alone with my thoughts for like the first time in my life like there was no mom there was no grandma there was no like you know i wasn't i was alone and i had to be my own adult so i think that was really hard for me i think i always was like freaking out for no reason.
I mean, I was like 18.

I was like super irresponsible.

Like there'd be times I like lose my wallet in like London.

You know what I mean?

Then everyone has to like try to help me get back home.

And you know, it was fun.

It was like silly.

Like I was like partying and like, so it was really fun.

And being a plus size model was really cool because it felt like I was around people that

understood and there wasn't like that typical like kind of pressure of like, you know, obviously being really thin or or being particularly tall or, you know, all these like kind of like nitpicks that that straight size models do. Like for me, I was like, you know, modeling for like Target and like doing just like it was pretty fun.
And I met really good people. And, you know, I think for me at the end, towards the end of my modeling career, I was like 21.
I just was kind of frustrated. I was just like, I'm kind of sick of just doing photos because I was also doing a lot of like video stuff.
I had like a little vice show on Broadway, like with Broadly. And I had like, I did like a Teen Vogue thing.
And I was like, I really just want, like, I feel like I've done enough of this. And I feel like kind of slowing down.
I don't feel like fulfilled by this anymore. And I always wanted to be an actor.
So I was like, I think it's time for me to invest in myself and, you know, try it out. And I mean, it's it worked.
Thank God. Yeah.
And it is taking off. And it is.
I had no other plan. So I was really like, it's either this or I don't know, cashier at the New Jersey shop, right? When euphoria really like took off and things exploded.
Was that, what was that like, you know, just kind of to go from more of a normal life, you know, working actor to ultra famous and lovable. And everyone's just like fascinated with you.
Did you, was there a moment where like one day you went to bed the next day, it felt like you stepped outside and. You know, what's funny what's funny is it slowly started in the beginning.
And I remember Hunter and I were having breakfast somewhere. This is when the trailer came out.
And the waitress was like, oh, my God, I saw you guys' trailer for your new HBO show. And we were like freaked out.
We were like, it's out. You know what's funny is that it went by so fast.
It was such a whirlwind. i don't think i was even like processing what was happening and after like week four of it being out i was like okay like this is getting like i'm like actually like going like i people are really stopping me for like on the street and it's like really like you know and at the time i had my short hair i like looked like my character you know sometimes if i you know don't look like cat like i can get away with a lot and i also like wore my actual glasses in the show so i had to like change those because i just literally look like i was walking around in costume like oh hindsight's 2020 not a good idea yeah not a great idea but it was it was amazing i think like i just didn't i i expected it to do well because i was like it's zendaya it's like kids like you know like it's like you know we're we're all like you know doing like it just felt like new and fresh and like no one has ever done that and i loved like shows like skins like degrassi and like all these like teen shows like whatever level there's like the the dirtier ones and like the the kind of more like polished ones but i always loved them so it's really it was really fun to be part of like the generations like teen show that like really depicted this generation and um i always i was hoping for that i was like the whole time i was like i want this to be like skins i want this to be like our dirty like salacious like teen drama that like every like kid wants to watch you know and it worked it really was exactly that right and it really like and that's the thing it's just like to your point what's cool about shows like that or films or movies that you know kind of encapsulate an era if you will is that they do stand the test of time you know we'll go back and watch old 80s movies or 90s movies or like I grew up you know when Can't Hardly Wait came out when I was in high school and like those especially at least for the people who grew up with them they always hold a special place in your heart right and so like euphoria for a lot of people but especially people who connected with that era it will live on in ways that i think other shows or films don't and that's it's incredible i mean it's it's a privilege to have in your career especially like the first big i mean i have like a couple things that i did before it was very like small to have that happen really early is like i mean that's like what you want you know you you can make so much stuff like you know and people can like it but like who's watching it and euphoria really just popped off in a way and I didn't expect it to be like that at all I was like okay this is really cool and it also popped off in a way that was really fun like it was just like I felt like it was merging my life of like fashion and like acting and it was really cool because I got to like put my little outfits on and like you know and I was really young so like of course I was like always like insecure and like you know but overall it was just it was really cool and I think like it just went so fast that I didn't really process it until I really had time to be like oh my god I was I don't even like I was like that was insane you know that was so cool you did play a very interesting and like sexual powerful character.
What were your original thoughts of Kat? Oh my gosh. When I read Kat, I remember just, I read it.
I had no context to it. And I was like, wait a second.
This is me. I go, wait a second.
Did they just write about my life? And I remember they had this like open call that was like thousands and thousands and thousands of people. And so I had an acting agent at the time and I got the audition through that.
But like my friends were all auditioning for it too. And I was like, you guys have never acted? Like, what do you mean? So I'd be like, you know what I mean? Like, what are you talking about? You know? And like, it made me sick how much I wanted it.
And thankfully it worked out. But it literally like, it was months of me auditioning and just being like, please, you guys have to hear me out.
And I mean, with Kat's, like, sexuality just felt, like, really real. I mean, it's like the internet and, like, exploring sexuality through the internet.
It's like, obviously, how people are doing it these days at first, you know? And again, it's like that loneliness thing where it's like you're trying to feel connection and doing contemporary things like this where it involves the internet is a lot of the things I do involve,

a lot of the movies I've shot that I don't even know

involves the internet a lot.

But it's just like contemporary things

that reflect how people feel

without it feeling like corny

is really, I think, important.

Because people like hate seeing phones

and movies and shows and stuff.

But I'm like, that's just the reality.

Like we can't make a project about 2020

without an iPhone, you know?

It's like, it has to be part of it.

So it's cool to find ways to to make it work and cinematically. The micro penis is something that will live in my head forever.
Like, I don't think I'll ever get it. I know.
And I told him not to show me until we were shooting. That is so smart.
Unless you guys are literally rolling, don't show me because I want to be like genuinely surprised. So the actor was like upstairs in like a fake little set

that they made

in like a green room

and I had like a earpiece

so I could just hear him breathing.

He was really,

he was amping up.

He's great.

It went on

and I was like,

ah!

I believe that is

what is in the show.

That is all of our reactions.

We had a lot of prosthetic penises.

A lot.

A lot.

Did anyone come out and say that their penis was real or I don't think anyone's penis. I think, I mean, if we're going to get technical, I think if there's an erection, I think you have to have a prosthetic penis.
I think if it's not that, I think you don't have to. But I asked this question so many times.
I'm like, and I have, I have had no answer. I'm like, maybe someone here can answer this for me.
Is it like, is it like the union law that like, if it's, you know, if it's erect, you had to have a prosthetic penis or if, you know what I mean? I want to know, I want to know that because everyone did have a prosthetic penis. I'm pretty sure.
I will say it's a very loaded question for men. It is.
There's no way to answer that without either being somewhat douchey weird yep or or coming across like your project you know there is always like are you hiding something or are you showing there's just no way it's an absolute trap it's an absolute trap so it's just like you just can't you don't even mention it you're just like i do wonder like if you like i don't know um if the actors got to choose. You know what I mean? That's interesting for me.
I want to know what the process... Is it the character or is it an ego thing? I feel like I saw an interview of Jacob being like, I...
You chose. He was like, I went in and I was a selection.
There was a huge selection and I picked the right one. If it's your point, are they choosing it because it represents them or are they choosing it because it's like, well, I would like to play something different today.
Yeah. I know.
That's so interesting. You'll never know.
We will never know. You'll never know.
You had decided to leave Euphoria and talked about how you just felt like Kat, the character, her story was told. Yeah.
You don't see a lot of that from actors obviously regardless of the success of the show you know and then sometimes as fans we will watch shows where you know the whole jumping the shark you know idea or like you know sometimes like for me it's this like dexter ended after season four you know it's like yeah we just we don't talk about the rest you know and um but for you to decide regardless of what is going to happen with euphoria uh for you to decide that must have been a difficult choice and like how did you how did you make that decision and how have you felt about it since then yeah i think it was very mutual so it wasn't just like my choice i think after having a lot of conversation and after season two i think it just there was just nowhere to go you know and I think it was very mutual. So it wasn't just like my choice.
I think after having a lot of conversation and after season two, I think it just there was just nowhere to go, you know, and I think instead of me kind of like lingering around for nine months, I think it was best for, you know, both of us that we just kind of ended it there, you know, and I think for me, I mean, of course, it's hard. I'm like, I love Euphoria.
I love Kat.

Kat means the world to me. I spent so many years pouring everything into her.

But it's like, you don't want to ruin a good thing.

I think that that, and it's a mutual, it was a mutual decision.

It was absolutely not just me.

So it was like, everyone decided that this was, there was nowhere to go.

And that's hard, obviously, because I'm like, what am I going to do? But again, with acting, things happen all the time and you just have to have thick skin and just make the right decisions for you and your career. And it was hard.
I was really young and it was just, it was tough, obviously. There was a lot of discourse about it that wasn't true.
And I'm a person who just kind of lets everything kind of happen.

Was there anything in particular that you

read that felt the most kind of

offensive or egregious? There was a couple

I think most of it, I mean people just

it's a popular show so people like took it out

of, you know, they kind of

there wasn't, like I never

walked off set, there was never anything like

that, like that was like a whole thing, she like, you know

oh I did all this and I was like I absolutely

never did that, you could ask like the hundreds of people

that were there every day no fan theories fan theories are crazy and most of the time they're not right but sometimes they are sometimes they are well you know yeah sometimes i'm like oh wow yeah well you know you give them 100 guesses sometimes then at one point you got to guess right you know i think it's sometimes fans i always remind myself that fan is short for Fanatic you know not that i don't you you you want to appreciate fans but you also and that's why it's important for at least you know i met nanny and i are always kind of talking or it's like listen like we just we don't it's not our business yeah you know type of thing because like and that's tough you want to have that relationship but you want to give them the freedom to be fans because part of being a fan is just like talking with your friends and having these theories.

It's just fun to talk.

Exactly.

They don't even believe it half the time.

It's just fun.

They're not, you know, it's like that classic case of someone like write something meaning your comments and then like you decided for whatever reason to like like it or respond whatever reason.

And they're like, oh my God, I'm just kidding.

I love you.

You're the best.

That literally has happened to me before. That's why I stopped.
I'm like'm like at this point respect to everyone like comments back and like claps back and everything i have never been that girl it's in fact i just let it like kind of go into its own world and then fizzle out because what am i gonna do all i'm gonna do is just fuel they're not gonna listen to me they're not gonna like believe me if i say something you know so it's just like uh they're just being fans they're being't read it. That's one thing too.
It's a big thing. I think that's what...
When Euphoria came out, I was so used to being on the internet. I was always telling everyone everything I was doing.
Always talking to camera. Just always filling people in.
I think my biggest sacrifice as an actor is that I don't use the internet for fun anymore, really. I mean, obviously, like, I scroll through TikTok and, you know, do that.
But I don't, like, post for, like, a lot of fun most of the time, you know? I just feel like it's not the same being an actor who's, like, in a show that's popular. Also, like, it's so internet, you know? But I'll take it.
I'm getting older. I'm fine.
Who from the cast have you stayed closest with? Well, I saw Hunter the other day I saw Ma the other day Sydney came to come See my play So I mean They're all so busy I mean I've been out of town For like eight months So I'm like We Whenever we're in town We always try to See each other And they came to support The play Which was really sweet It was very sweet That is nice Sensitive subject Ang uh angus clouds yes death how obviously we saw that affect the world um how did that affect cast and you personally i mean yeah uh gosh it's so hard for me to talk about angus um i'm sorry no it's okay um i mean it's tragic i don't think i've ever um been through anything like that i think we all were just really affected by it and i mean it just you know i i haven't lost a lot of people thank god and so this was like just you know i was actually in kentucky at the time so i was very isolated when i heard it and it was just um just a great shame i think this was the coolest guy the craziest dude like literally the amount of stories i just love that i can cherish those moments you know I think this was the coolest guy, the craziest dude, like literally the amount of stories.

I just love that

I can cherish those moments,

you know.

I think about him a lot

and I just,

you know.

Such a unique person,

like you said.

Oh my gosh.

His story was fascinating.

He was incredible.

Like he was a complete

like sweetheart,

like character.

Like it's just,

yeah,

it's really,

really tragic. It's just, he's so young and you know, yeah, it was hard.
Okay, you guys, for everyone who wants to know, are you DTF? Down to farm, that is? That's right. Farmer Wants a Wife is back on Fox with four hot new farmers looking for the love of their lives.
But are these ladies

ready to take on the farm life? And you know, dating one woman has its challenges, but juggling five, these farmers are going to have their hands full. Don't miss the all new season of Farmer Wants a Wife Thursday on Fox.
Everyone wants healthy hair, you know, everyone is striving to have the healthiest hair possible.

And one way to get there is whey.

Some would say the only way. Is whey.
Yeah. They truly have so many amazing products.
I use so many of theirs and I swear by it. The Detox Shampoo is perfect for those days that maybe you haven't washed your hair in a couple of days.
Maybe you've been using a lot of product. You have some product buildup in there, some hairspray, some hair gel, whatever it may be.
The Detox Shampoo is perfect to get all that out of there. The scalp serum balances and hydrates the scalp.
It soothes irritation and keeps your hair stronger and fuller throughout a healthy, hydrated, balanced scalp. They also have a scalp and body scrub that when I tell you I have gone through 95 of these, I mean it.
It is so good. It smells so delicious and you can feel it working.
It's gentle sugar crystals. Scrub away buildup while softening and balancing your skin's moisture level.
My skin is so soft from the scalp and body scrub from whey. The way to a healthy scalp starts here.
Go to T-H-E-O-U-A-I.com and use code VIALL for 15% off

any product. That's theway.com.

Code VIALL.

You like

to cook? I do like to cook. I love to

cook. I'm the cooker in the

fam. She's my sous chef.

I like to cook, but I don't like to clean.

That's my problem. You know,

I don't like either. I love to cook.

I'll cook if someone else cleans. Okay.

If everyone cleans up all... I would love

that. So we do a good job of separating

I'm not sure what's happening. that's my problem you know i don't like either i love to cook i'll cook if someone else cleans okay if everyone cleans up all i would i would love that so we do a good job of separating chores so i love that it's always my problem when i'm booed up yeah you gotta i've learned it's like 90 of the relationship oh my god young me was like love is enough and i can just power through anything dishwasher you know it's just like you can have a completely different menu and and we can have different tastes and everything no if we love each other enough yeah and like being in a relationship with natalie more than anything has taught me it's just like relationships are hard enough every day can't be a battle you know picking what you want to eat what who does what you know and so like i can't i'm allergic to laundry natalie loves it now that's allergic to doing that dishes i can do dishes you talking about.
Dishes, I can do dishes. I love to cook.

I won't even let her cook sometimes.

I don't let anyone cook.

I'm more like you're doing it wrong.

Same.

Move, move.

I grew up in a culinary family.

My mom's a chef and my aunt's a chef.

And I didn't really know how to cook until a few years ago.

So I, as soon as that.

What's your favorite?

Do you have like a go-to?

Recently.

I make a really good chicken thigh recently.

I've been really doing a really good chicken thigh

I love a thigh

because most people

go breast

no

and it's just like

you know

dark meat

you know

you gotta do bone in

skin on

thigh

you gotta sear it

and then you take it out

and then you make

like a little sauce

put it in the oven

do a little lemon

some capers

some anchovies maybe

oh my god

yeah why not

oh my god

it's so yummy

I also made

a yummy like mushroom gravy on something but it was it was good i love to make like uh i just like love to cook so if i see something that i like i make a really good salmon too is it easy for you to cook for like one person or are you like guys i'm cooking everyone come over i need everyone to come i will not cook for myself i literally can't do it i just cannot do it i'd rather cook for other people and myself than I can't make myself a thing. It's true.
I mean, like when I was, you know, in my single days, and there was a lot of years, I was like the single serving guy, you know? I'd go to the grocery store every day and I'd find like things that like would make sense. Like that's when I got into English.
That's when I discovered the joy of an English muffin. Ooh, yeah.
Because I could also like make a burger.

Yes.

And then use it as a bun.

Yes.

But like, you know, before as a single serving guy,

if you just buy like a bag of buns,

like you use one bun and it goes bad,

but an English muffin, you can put it in the fridge,

it keeps a little longer.

That's right.

And I would have all these like single serving tricks.

Yeah, like, and it was just like,

but also kind of depressing that I figured out how to like.

You gotta make it look pretty at least.

Sustainably like shop for myself. I always, if I make something really ugly, I just put a little herbs, just a little chive on the top.
So you're like, it has to plate perfectly. I like a good plate.
So do I. I always feel bad because I try to plate my 13-month-old daughters perfectly and she's screaming, crying.
I'm like, just honey, if I can just get this perfectly. And you're just cashing it with her hands.
I love this perfectly i love that that's so cute it's a thought that counts it is it is she doesn't understand yet she doesn't understand yet but she will i've taken a photo of every one of her meals and she'll be like they're very they're definitely her hands like in all of them like i love going for something in all the pictures it's really so cute speaking of girl that when i was in new york I was doing a play every night, so I would come home at like 9 and I would literally just eat pickles and cheese and salami with crackers for dinner every night. I literally was the girliest dinner and some fruit and just eating every pickled thing.
Nuts, random. Because I would just come home so late and I'm like, this is, I'm like 90% sodium at the moment.
I could feel myself just like full of salt. I'm just like, how much salami and cheese? Wow, I am inflamed.
Yeah. Perfect.
Maybe girl dinner, you know, maybe I should switch it up a little bit. Thankfully, now I'm back in my kitchen and I can make like, you know, rounded, balanced meals.
Do you have like a go-to meal? You do. Yes.
I either sundubu like a Korean soup I do that a lot I'll order I love Chinese food I love like a good kung pao chicken I love the soup dumplings I'll get the like broccoli and garlic sauce that's yum yum yum and then I'll have like. I usually just like really like the dumplings.
The dumplings. I'll just get like all the different, the pan fried ones, the steamed ones.
I'll take it all. The rice cakes.
You ever had the rice cakes? I love a rice cake. I was just thinking about rice cakes the other day.
I was like, can you do an H-Mart and just get some rice cake? Before we started recording, we were talking about our daughter and you mentioned, oh, I just want a baby. I want a baby.
Is that something that in the future you hope oh yes i i i every time someone has a baby my first reaction is like i want one too like and i just like i i feel like i grew up as an only child i am the baby of the family and i'm nearly 30 so like i never really interacted with like a lot of kids growing up or in general and so i never really thought about having kids until recently and i think also everyone in my family has had a baby before 21. So I'm already like, I'm not gonna say I'm late.
Like everyone wanted me to not continue that. It's like being from the South.
Yeah. Like no one's like, no one was like, you should have a baby.
Like no one's impressing me to have a baby. This is all me.
Like people are like, okay. My mom was like, you should.
Yeah. But maybe you need a relationship.
She's not like, I want a grand baby. She does.
But she's just like, you need to, you know, she, she's like, you gotta, you gotta wait for the right one, you know, and like, don't rush it. But I want a baby in like four or five years.
What love and dating relationships are we in a season of like independence? Are we dating around? We're in a single era. We're in a single era.
We are in a single era. Do we love that? We like it.
We like it. I think, you know, I saw a psychic.
I didn't see a psychic. A psychic was at a party.
A psychic saw me. A psychic saw me.
He asked for me specifically. I saw a psychic last year, and he told me that I wasn't going to find love in 2024.
So I'm like, well, maybe in 2025. Okay.
We'll see. What did he say? Well, no, that was it.
Thanks for your help. That's it.
That's all you get. You got to put another quarter in.
Yeah, yeah. It's just not this year.
I'm like, okay, I'll take it. So I actually really live my life by that, even though I, it's kind of great.
I'm like, I think I'm taking a break from dating for a second. Are psychics, like, they make me nervous.
They make me nervous. I do not want to know when I'm going to die.
They're not going to tell you that, but yes. Maybe they would.
But again, there's something about psychics where it's just like, I don't, you. I don't.
I happen to have seen a psychic at a party okay i have been to a psychic here and there but i'm also wary of like the la of it all like i'm very like i understand the the spirit healers and the you know and the and the crystals and malibu and stuff i get it i get i i think it's fun but you know i take it with a grain of salt yeah it's not like what i you know nick's sister saw one and she said that um the psychic said the brother closest to you is going to have twins and that's nick and i was like oh when are the twins happening baby my god my sister has twins her sister has twins i still don't know how twins work is it genetic i think so generation so i don't think it has anything to do with the guy right then because maybe what chromosomes uh make it well i feel like y'all because they would have to well either like there'd be two sperms and well yeah but usually there's a lot of those yeah but to make it up all the way up to the egg yeah yeah but yet there either has to be

one egg or one i don't know but there can be two eggs that's fraternal science podcast are two different eggs correct i might be wrong but that's what makes it's identical so they i guess both eggs yeah what's crazy is my sister has twins and they are so identical that they're like fingerprint DNA is the same.

Those are fascinating.

Crazy.

Imagine just having like a part of you in the world. That's like the exact same.
Yeah. And like they're finishing each other's sentences.
And like that sounds so wonderful. But it also is like really sad because it's like you have like this person that is like so part of you that like if you guys are not together, it's like I've heard like twins knowing when the other one is like hurt if they're not in the same place it's like twins are we need to study that science get on it what's uh in your single era uh having dated before yes what's what's something that you've through previous experiences have learned that maybe

things have lacked that you really are looking for and you're whenever that happens for you next

and what's on something that while things maybe didn't work out in the past with whoever you still

really enjoyed and appreciate that aspect of the relationship that you hope to carry into your next

relationship great question

i think what i learned about myself is that i'm a particular kind of girl and i'm not for everyone

you know what i mean and um not in a bad way but just like you know my life is just very i think a lot of people don't really like that they don't like like a a woman who's like very like loud and like takes up a lot of space and i just inherently do that because i grew up with a lot of women who do that so like even as a kid i was just like you know i i never lived under like the scrutiny of like you know um the patriarchy in that phase yeah like where it's like oh yeah you have to be small like you know i mean like you have to like you know be like um choir i think so i think a lot of people don't like that I don't take it personally when they don't and so and also I need someone who's like very who's gonna take care of me because I take care of a lot of people in a lot of ways and I like really need like someone who's gonna really listen to me and be there for me I am by no means like um submissive wife vibes you know what I mean so it's like you know some people I've also learned with dating is that I just don't take it personally anymore. I'm just like this, or, you know, I'm just like, this is not working out.
It's not because of me. I used to always blame me.
When did you learn that? Because that's like a huge step in like just adult life. Yeah, recently, honestly, like the past couple of years, it's just been so, and of course I get into a trap.
I'm like, whoa, you know, like what happened there? But then I'm like, wait, like, did I even like like that person like i also learned i'm do i want someone to like me or do i like them that's such a huge step i mean i'll ask people all the time they'll call if i have a friend who's asking or someone calls in they'll be like you know i want to talk to you about this i'm like well how do you what do you like about how they make you feel it's always my favorite question yeah because sometimes or often there's always like this oh um well uh oh i oh i never thought about how how they make me feel i've just more thought about like why don't why haven't they text me back or why aren't they calling or like why are they being flaky on me like why are they treating like why are they acting this way and then immediately there's a thought like i'm doing something wrong right what could i do differently like that. But like, it was funny that you just said not to,

you know,

moments ago where you realize that you're not for everyone.

No.

And like,

to me,

like that again,

another like huge pivotal,

like,

at least for me,

was that like,

no one is by the way.

Yeah.

That's what I'm saying.

Like,

I'm hoping I'm like the one person who could like,

in the bio for everybody.

Like,

you're for every,

everyone will love me.

I'm like,

yeah,

no.

You know,

but that, that's the person who is people pleasing who hasn't really realized who they are as a person and not even comfortable to be that person you have to allow whether it's dating whether it's friendship whether it's just like being an adult in society is is having the guts to be who you are yeah and have people not like you you know it's so freeing. And I always admired that because when I was younger, I would just get so caught up and like, what did I do wrong? And I'm like, probably a lot of stuff, but it just like, it doesn't really matter.
It's like- Or not wrong. You just did something and it just- Just wasn't for them.
Wasn't for them. They don't vibe with you.
Like you, we, there's so many people out there who were just like, not my cup of tea. Exactly.
And that's totally fine. And there's someone else's like, you know they don't vibe with you like you we there's so many people out there we're just like not my cup of tea and that's totally fine there's someone else's like you know like wow this is like my dream person and i also think a lot of people think that they know i am and they find out that that's not who i am you know i mean like people can and i do that too like i project personalities on people i think i also had to stop doing that where it's like you just start like kind of making these like love stories in your head and i'm like i'm gonna go to a point in my life where i'm just i'm just tired i don't want to do all that anymore do you find it to be easy or more difficult to date in the industry or outside of the industry i have never really dated anyone in the industry just never happened yeah i i think outside i've dated a lot of people who are creative but but they're not like actors.
I definitely, you know, that's not usually what I go for. But I'm open to anything, really.
I'm like, I'm, I really am open to anyone who is like kind and actually wants to like, talk to me and like, hang out with me and spend time with me and like communicate, you know, I dated women most of my life. So I'm like, the communication has always been really big.
and so it's just like it's just for me it's a lot it's like especially now i'm dating like a little bit more seriously like i'm not just like oh this is just like to be together it's like now it's more like what do i want i'm like i want a baby in five years you know it's kind of getting i'm like i'm getting older like this is just not as fun anymore when it's just like crazy like you feel like you have like a timeline over your head or no honestly no but i just i it's more of like a a way to know like sometimes i just don't know what i want and i'll like meet someone i'm like okay but this person's not really that but then it could be this i'm just like actually i do know what i want and it just have to be like confident enough to just be like this is like i do want commitment it's tough right like you know like me younger me was more like i what i wanted was somebody and i wanted somebody who wanted me and that was kind of the baseline for most people anyone who wants to be with me sure and then and then you get older and you have relationships and heartbreak you break up and then you that that transitional period of knowing what you want for yourself knowing and then what you want to give to someone else and then having the patience to wait around for it yeah like it's the patience is hard yeah but it's also like once you're in the relationship it's it's so much work you know it's not like you think it's like relationships are just gonna like save you and it's then you know i was in a serious situation for three years and it was great and then after you know it was you know still great it was just either single or or in a relationship it's like you kind of fantasize about the opposite of it you're like oh if i was single like i wouldn't have this or like if i'm or like you know if i was in a relationship i'll have someone to go with me but it's like i just kind of like don't even think about it anymore in that way because i just know that i'm getting pickier as i get older and more intentional with stuff and i never even knew what i liked like i'm just like if someone was like showing interest in me I'd be like hype you know I'm like yeah it's like for a long time in my life and now it's a little bit more you know a little more discernment in that yeah it's a I had to figure out there was a point before I met Natalie where when I was in my 20s it was you know my parents were good role models but, sometimes the problem with the good role models is like my parents tell me love is important and you have to fight for it. So it was like, oh, okay, well then I'll just fight for this, you know, kind of thing, you know? And, but sometimes I didn't really want to do that.
So then, and then I got older and I was like, okay, you know, I finally figured out who I was in my late twenties, early thirties, and then took some risks and, and, and how do you, you know, I did reality TV and that was like okay you know I finally figured out who I was in my late 20s early 30s and then took some risks and and and had a you know did reality tv and that was all kind of weird but then you know so then I had this stint of reality tv and this controlled environment where they almost like make you feel like you're young again and it's all about these emotions and then so then I was dating it was more like I honestly like there was a point where in my 30s I was honestly worried.

And I thought to myself, do I just need to pick somebody?

Yeah.

Do like, you know, like anybody, you know, like we get along.

Yeah, I guess this could work.

You seem nice enough.

Yeah, you're you're obviously beautiful.

But like there's a part of me was like, am I too cynical?

Am I looking for flaws?

Am I looking, you know, and finding that balance between the person who like knows who they are uh and is can be patient but or or or am i looking for problems am i being avoidant or things like that yeah and i and i really struggle with that and i i mean i remember having those i remember i saying to my therapist like do i just need to do this like because because i was afraid i wasn't going to fall in love because like when I was younger, you're just like, Oh, I just, I don't know what this feeling is. I think we should date, you know? Right.
And I couldn't replicate that feeling unless I was in this controlled environment, you know, on a TV show. And I was like, I don't, you're looking for that thing, you know? And does that, does anyone exist with that thing? Yeah.
It can be a very scary feeling. It's super scary.
I totally feel you. I feel like it's very confusing.
It's also like you have to choose to just like, you have to really choose to be there every day. It's like a very active decision.
So if something is not working out, it can be like so hard to just like choose to be there, decide to like fix it. And then you have to know when to walk away.
But it's also, I don't think there is a clear cut. There's no like, oh, you guys should break up or not.
It more like what do you do you see for yourself yeah no one's like I broke up with them on the exact perfect day at the right time you're always going to wonder one way or the other you just kind of have to trust you all you have to trust yourself for me I always just think about like do I want to live my life like this you know what I mean do I want to feel this way every day if it's yes then I'll continue but if no like if i literally i'm like this can't happen anymore and it's been enough time where we've talked about it then it's like okay then i guess i can do the decision for myself if i feel bad now but like is this is this the norm yeah or is this something that is happening now but like we can go come if it gets you know the the normal feeling with this person or this relationship generally brings me joy and happiness, but right now, I need a fix. Which happens.
I mean, that's with any kind of relationship. A lot of people, it's more the opposite.
It's just like, you ask them and they're like, I've been miserable for three years. Yeah.
You know? But we've been together for eight years. I can't just throw it away.
It's been eight years. People think it's a really big celebration.
Oh, we've been together

forever, which is great, but it's also like

are you hanging on to something

that is truly not serving

a purpose in your life that is actually

serving you?

What's your love language?

I like a lot of quality

time. Actually, you know what?

Words of affirmation. Big, big words of affirmation kind of girl yeah i love it i like to hear good things i like to make sure that you tell me like i like to be told you know and comforted in that way so when you're not cooking working making movies like what what are your guilty pleasures where you just kind of check out and and really kind of so many things i've started knitting recently and i've been knitting and i've been watching a lot of like either true crime podcasts which is like very my mom very my mom or um i'll watch like uh i watch the stupidest stuff it's actually crazy i was watching like um like the beast games and like you know stuff like that's just so you know what i mean it's like so's so fun.
When I want to take a load off, I will truly get into Brain Raw in a big way. A lot of that.
I was really into Milf Manor at one point. Love Milf Manor.
Love Milf Manor. Is that the one Peter did? I believe so.
That's with like the older ladies. And the first season was like with the younger.
Yeah. Yeah.
My little best friends. But then they brought in the like, was it the dads and sons? Yes.
Yes. Peter.
It's incredible. Our friend show ran that.
Oh my God. It's truly an incredible piece of, I actually think it's like, it's amazing.
And whenever I tell people about it, they're like, what does that mean? I'm like, MILF Manor, the MILFs and the sons. Okay.
And they're like what does that mean i'm like milf man are the milfs and the sons okay and they're like but not a porn no but they clearly know what's trending you know what i mean and that is smart and it's really smart yeah so i like to watch that i like to hang out my friends i um have you knitted anyone a sweater no i'm right now in the phase of knitting like bandanas for my dog and cat we're starting small we're're starting very small. It's very hard to knit, actually.
And I've been really getting into the knit community around here. I go to the small business.
It's so cute. There's a yarn shop.
And everyone there, it's so much yarn. It's beautiful.
And people, they have classes there. They talk to you about knitting.
I feel like I'm inducted into some sort of society. It's great.
Sisters. It's fun.

It's so cute.

Everyone has like their cute little knits, you know?

Do you have like, what are you going to knit when you really feel like you've got it down?

I think like a dress.

I want to make like a little halter top dress.

I used to, when I was a kid, I used to have a crochet string bikini.

And by kid, I mean like two years old because my great grandma knitted it for me or crocheted it for me. And so I kind of want to recreate it.
I've been starting to like kind of recreate the bikini and by kid i mean like two years old because my great grandma knitted it for me and so i kind of want to recreate it i've been starting to like kind of recreate the bikini

um but it's really hard so i just keep um just making squares and triangles really and you didn't watch tv yeah okay yeah my my grandmother phyllis still with us was a she would i used to live with like one time uh my then girlfriend at the time broke up and i was in my uh we were engaged actually but like uh so we were living together had to move out well i didn't have to move out i wanted to get the fuck out of there of course uh and then my grandmother who i only refer to as phyllis uh because when i was born she was like 50 and she's like i'm not ready to be a grandmother i love that um and she lived downtown where you know the city i lived in and i was like i can't get the fuck out of here. So I like, I like had to shame, shamefully what felt at the time, like live with my grandma.
So cute. Which ended up being like in a great time because she's a night owl.
And she, I would go out to the bar to hang out with my friends and come back. It'd be like two in the morning.
She's up knitting, watching TV. That's so me.
And then we would like download the night, you know, and I would talk about like my nights and things like that and it ended up being like just a very memorable i love i'm a grandma girl like my grandma raised me basically my mom was in school and like worked at a restaurant so i barely saw her but my grandma raised me i'm like such a grandma's girl like my grandma and i are like very close was that hard for you when she went back to brazil yes i was 18 so i had as soon as i moved out of the house she was like i'm out I'm gone it was really hard I just saw her um over the holidays when I was in New York and it was really sweet but yeah it was really hard did you get back to Brazil much um I've been going more recently I went last year I went to Rio for work and then my mom I like to go to Bahia which is like my favorite place in Brazil it's so it's like so wonderful it's like It's just gorgeous. But it's so far.
It's truly like a 25-hour journey of many planes and drives and all sorts of things. But it's worth it.
If I go, I stay for a while. So it's really nice.
Yeah. It's like little monkeys everywhere.
It's truly like a little storybook. My mom will send me videos when she's there the monkeys are stealing my fruit and they're like tiny little cute little monkeys there's giant sloths everywhere I'm like this is in mud roads it's so cool what is next for you in the perfect world do you have a dream job a dream of film, or even maybe a particular actor out there that you've always kind of maybe fascinated or dreamt about working with?

Wow.

Manifestation time.

Yeah.

I think I've done a lot of contemporary stuff.

Like a lot of the things I've done, even the films that haven't come out yet, which, you know, I think this year a couple of them will come out.

I really want to make something that's kind of like a period piece. Like I want to step outside of just the 2010s, 2020s.
Is there a particular period that fascinates you the most? I feel like I would do pretty good in the 20s. Not like super period, but like 20s and maybe like 40s or something.
That's a great idea. Yeah, I feel like that's kindup kind of like just like a lot of i think that would be really cool i mean i'm open to whatever it is um but i think that'd be really nice and i think you know my favorite actress is like cate blanchett like that like obviously it would be my dream is there anyone in history that you would do like a biopic on oh my gosh yeah oh god um let's see well the thing is it's like people are very picky with that because they're like, you don't look like this person.
I'm like, but what if I have prosthetics? You know what I mean? Yeah, you have no idea. I'm like, the world of prosthetics.
If the penguin can happen with prosthetics and if people, you know, there was like the Tammy Faye with Jessica Chasset. I'm like, prosthetics happen.
If Colin Farrell can play the penguin. Literally.
So much prosthetics. Come on now now.
Why can't I play insert name here? Yeah. I don't know exactly who I would play.
I feel like it would have to There's no one that you're like specifically drawn to from history that you're like that would just be interesting like to challenge yourself. I am fascinated by like actresses of the past who kind of you know I really love the theatrics theatrics of like, you know, kind of old Hollywood.
So, I don't know. I would say, maybe I shouldn't say it yet, but I am working on something that may or may not happen about someone of that nature.
So that's why I'm like, I don't know. I think of someone else and I was like, maybe I should.
No, not yet. But yeah, we'll see.
Well, Barbie, this has been so much fun. Thank you for having me.
This is so sweet. So fun to talk to.
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
I could keep going, but I know you have to get going. Listen, she's busy.
Thank you for taking the time. It's been so much fun.
Congratulations on a very beautiful movie. Thank you.
Everyone check it out. Bob Trevino likes it.
March 21st in select theaters in New York, LA and then March 28th in other theaters. Check it out.
Check it out. On bobtrevinolikesit.com.
It's a great friend film. It's a great film.
Yeah, you can bring your family. You go with your family.
You know, you will be emotional but like it really... Most of my other work is not very family friendly so this is the family friendly one very family you will you will want to watch you will see this film and you will want

to connect with people afterwards and i think that's a very beautiful thing that we all need

today so thank you guys thanks so much so much fun to have with you see you guys tomorrow bye Thank you.