#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah

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Karma you can count on. Watch what happens when there's so much that crappens.
and welcome to Watch What Caress. This is part two of a two-part recap.
If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps.
Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye.
Enjoy the show. So Harry goes into Vian's cab and he's like, so I just asked Brianna out on a date and she said yes and they like high five, which is funny because Vian really vianna's being very chill about the fact that he really wants to go after brianna and now his underling has has stolen brianna um as is rightfully he is he is as he has as not do he is it's not a not a proprietary thing but i'm saying that in other other below decks people would take the stance of like she was mine and i'm the boss she belongs to me first the picking order bro and beyond's just like gary guess i lost yeah and not only that but he also got stuck with harry in his room and now the other room is just johnny so he could move he should move back to the other room again yeah he should because now Vian has to just sit here and listen to Harry talk about how Harry kissed the girl that Vian liked.
But you know what though? I think this actually, in an episode where we're talking about testosterone list, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I think this actually speaks of big dick energy from Vian because he's chill about it.
He's, he's not unwrapped. He doesn't unravel.
He's not insecure about it. He's not like, his identity is not wrapped up

and being able to get the model on the boat.

He's like, fine, great.

I missed out.

On to the next.

He's also like wanting to bang everybody on the boat,

which is what we find out in his next monologue.

He's like, well, I thought I had chemistry with Bree,

but you know, Harry ended that experiment for me.

However, I'm still looking for love.

You know, Serena's awesome.

We're having fun. Like who doesn't like attention? I love, that's such a guy thing.
Like, well, he's giving me attention. She's giving me attention.
So, I like her. And then they make a little heart with Serena.
And then Marina. Marina and Serena.
Wow. Never really noticed that.
So, he also likes her because she's very forward and she can really appreciate a scuba diving trip. So that turns him on.
And also, how can you not like a Brazilian? I mean, Adair, I mean, she's hot, you know, she's spunky. She's used to being covered in mud.
Who doesn't love that? You know? And Laura, sure, her eyebrows are a little askew, but otherwise, she's like a Barbie put together with a potato head. You know, who doesn't want to fuck that? So he's like in love with everybody on the boat.

So he doesn't care.

He really is.

He's, you know, always looking for an open port.

Oh, what's that?

Is there a lady in there?

I hear a lady talking.

I know it's not.

There's not a lady.

Is your phone?

Oh, my God.

It's my watch. Shut the fuck up.
What's your... It was playing a commercial from the writer's panel podcast.
What a creep. That creeped me the hell out.
And I looked down, and it's only Bueller there. And I was like, finally, Bueller's talking to me.
This is the your task rabbit arrived it's like surprise sorry my hot brother was was ill today so here i am a lady who you definitely want to right i'm like sorry uh sorry ben but there's somebody standing downstairs holding um a boom box up uh and playing something romantic gotta go my task rabbits here i would love it if that's how task rabbits arrived so uh now everyone goes to bed and now people wake up it's the next day and zarina uh is in the kitchen and she drops a giant pan on the floor and like, wow, I'm sure the sound department really appreciated all that in their headphones right now. I was like, oh, God, Zarina, you're such a grumpy cut fitness today.
And then Captain comes in and he just looks down and goes, hmm, good morning. Ah, protein balls.
She's like, yeah, do you want one? He goes, no. He's like disgusted with the protein balls he's like i think i think that we want to be starting to haul so pick up anchor ball 11 and and so veon's like okay sure harry can drive the tenders yada yada yada and so harry is then checking on brianna asking if she slept well and he's like i'm planning the date it's in my head oh we're gonna go on a date she's like you are i said yeah i'll i'll let you know another plan she's like i'm so, I'm planning a date.
It's in my head. Oh, we're going to go on a date.
She's like, you are? I said, yeah, I'll let you know and I have a plan. She's like, I'm so excited.
I'm like, literally, please don't subject us to their date. My least favorite thing on Below Deck.
A sweet Below Deck date. I literally thought when I saw this, I was like, let me guess, you're going to go to an ice cream shop.
Because doesn't that sound so hairy? Like, I've got i've got a date we're going to a soda shop we're gonna get a little ice cream then after that maybe we'll play a little skeeball or something like that it just seems uh very hairy and that's what they do they go get some yeah i called it yeah and it's just as boring as you can imagine so then beyond uh meanwhile asking a dare if she's excited like what for to uh tonight going out with the with the group and she's like yeah and there are a lot of outfits i want to wear that i can't wear because my belly's so pale and like you know yeah because my belly's pale compared to the rest of my body so i can't show off my belly but it's either that or wearing the mud boat uniform so i don't know what i'm gonna do tonight uh so now they are on deck and Vion's talking about who likes who. And he thinks Adair liked Anthony.
And Harry's like, well, who's she going to fancy now? And Vion's like, I don't know. She's definitely my type.
But they're all kind of my type in a way. I can find something about everybody.
So then we cut to the table and the guest eric is like yeah let me tell you guys women have the power to control men if they just knew a few little secrets now let me tell you i need you to tell me i'm the man every day number one number two touch me non-sexually every day and i need you to me regularly that That's all you need to do. Then you can totally control me.
Just that. Just that.
I need to deal with your fragility every single day by saying that you're the man. Because you don't have enough self-esteem to arrive to that conclusion on your own.
So you need external validation for me. Because otherwise your entire worldview will collapse.
Okay, got it. Number two, you need me to touch you non-sexually every day, but also very sexually every day.
Got it. So you just want to be touched.
You just want to be fucked and touched every single day. Okay.
So you're basically needy and alone in this world. And, um, without some sort of physical or, or emotional connection, you are just going to crumble, uh, because you don't have enough, um because you don't have enough confidence in yourself to just forge forward like a true wolf and just shut the fuck up and do what you have to do to get your money and get food on the table.
Got it. Number one, tell me my hair looks real.
Number two, tell me it looks like I naturally don't grow hair on my back. And number three, tell face doesn't look like a baseball glove the end yeah let me come all over you wow that's it sounds easy here are the three secrets to here's the three secrets to secrets that women can use to control men first of all serve lattes that are 30 calories or less second of all fuck me after the latte third of all second latte please but it has to be zero calories i already used my 30 calories up in the first one that's it so laura's listening to this because she's behind the bar and she's like what he's like yeah and you come home with a list of shit i'll do it but don't start with that start with support like this hand touch my arm doc yeah bro instant touch it touch it touch it bro touch my hand oh yeah oh god it just came up my pants oh my god fuck you want me to do the laundry i'll fucking do it yeah touch me bro guys we live in a society full of beta men snowflakes

that are all like, oh, emotions, emotions, okay?

Fuck those bros.

We need to be an alpha male.

An alpha male who, when confronted with some things

that he may need to do, says,

I can't hear that right now.

It's too much for me.

Come on, touch my arm instead.

Touch my arm.

That's what a real alpha does.

What a douchebag.

And can we just have one meal?

Can your poor friends have one meal where you're not trying to solve your self-help bullshit. My God.
So Laura's like, yeah, I've met people like Eric before. And they're my ex-boyfriends for a reason.
Most likely because they couldn't stop looking at me kind of cross-eyed trying to figure my eyebrows out and then left. I didn't like me there, so.
You know what? Guy, I just guys want to add one more thing men have a connection to women that shows love through sex yeah well i'm sure this guy has a lot of self-love too so um uh now it's drop-off day so everyone's excited about that to get this bullshit like men really men really show their emotions through sex no they don't men can goats like men men can anything get the out of here yeah those words will and will be used against you because when you inevitably cheat on your woman and you say no meant nothing it was just like whatever it didn't mean anything you're on camera saying when you fuck it's because you love someone you're showing love through fucking so congratulations you just condemned yourself for all future cheating excuses well whatever i'm trying to say you fuck yeah i got you i got you he's backing himself into a corner for sure thank you much better so then they finally get to drop off these fucking losers so serena's talking to the captain about crew lunch she's like what did you want for crew lunch and he's like nothing you've got all this food left over and she's like oh well we've got to eat something for the night out i mean last time they'd sat down and hadn't hadn't even had a proper lunch i mean it's a lot for them it's a lot of work i've got to make them food he's like then just put this food out there i mean make them some wraps with it and she's like we don't have wraps I've got to make them food. He's like, then just put this food out there.
I mean, make them some wraps with it. And she's like, we don't have wraps.
Lady is trying to make this easier on you. Yeah.
And he's like, well, this is lunch. And she goes, is it? He's like, yeah, I mean, just turn this into a brunch.
That's fine. It's all breakfast food.
And she goes, really? And Jason's like, I generally understand, you know, I generally know Zarina cares for the crew. And to me, to say, don't feed them feed them that's fine that's against what she would want to do but she's just had that problem with the sous chef didn't work out so we can support ourselves with the food that's there there's there's enough food there we're not gonna starve and basically he tells lara like yeah we're just the we'll just have this brunch food after after the tip meeting or whatever or we'll have it early like this is gonna be the food be the food that you're going to have.
And you'll eat dinner later tonight. And so, Laura's like, okay, sort of like a brunch, whatever.
But Zarina is, like, losing her mind. Yeah.
So, then the guests, or Johnny is cleaning. You know, they're cleaning, whatever.
So, Laura checks on Zarina later. And she's like, oh, my God.
Jason's just pissing me off. I mean, I've just done breakfast.
Now I have to add on to it by doing nothing with this food. What is she complaining about? He didn't ask her to do anything extra.
He asked her to do less. Yeah.
She's like, I don't know. I think she's just in a spiral.
And she's like, I mean, so I have to make this other breakfast. And now like stuff's going to get cold.
And now he wants me to do more stuff. And on top of that, you know, Vian is just like in love with me.
So I have to deal with that. It's got a lot of pressure on me.
And just like the whole reason why we do it after the tip meeting, she starts going on and on and on about it. And he's right there in the next room over and she's going on and on and on.
And finally he just walks in and he's like, all right, what's the problem, Serena? Do you want a kimono? What's going on here? I'll save you cooking in preparation after the meeting. And, you know, I'm more than happy to have you cook again.
Do you see what I'm trying to say? I'm trying to save you from having to cook more. She's like, oh, she starts to cry like a scolded daughter.
And he tells us, don't stop picking a fight with me. I'm on your side.
I'm here to support you. Make your job easier.
I've come up with a solution.

You don't like it, then don't listen to it.

You know, is this the way it's going to be all season? I'm not going to put up with it. I'll tell you that.
No, no. So then it just cuts to Serena still crying in the kitchen.
She's like, I have to make too much, but I can't make anything. so then

Lara's

consoling her

and too much but I can't make anything. so then

Lara's consoling her

and Zarina's like

yeah it's just hard

trying to get used to

being a solo chef again

I'm still really

in my head around that

you get in my head around it

it just didn't need

Jason and I

fighting on top of it

it's just

I put so much pressure

on myself

that I just

get into my head about it

and I just think

after being bullied

and put down

and let down

I kind of

do it to myself now

I'm my own biggest villain

you know

that's why I don't like

Thank you. on myself that I just get into my head about it.
And I just think after being bullied and put down and let down, I kind of do it to myself now. I'm my own biggest villain, you know? That's why I don't like to put spoons out there.
You only get smacked on the head with a spoon so many times in your life that you don't want to put into a bowl for people, you know? So Captain Jason's like, all right, everyone, time to dock or whatever. So they go and they dock.
Oh, God, thank God we get some more wisdom from Eric before he leaves. He's like, you know what's funny? If you fast for three days and you eat like five Tic Tacs, your veins pop out of your arms like you're the Hulk.
Look at my veins. You didn't fast for three days.
What the fuck are you talking about? We've watched you eat. Yeah.
And I don't think the veins are popping because of the Tic Tacs that's the steroids yeah yeah man intermittent fasting followed by a tic tac tic tac break fast yeah does amazing things of your vascularity bro all right so now they have to dock the boat and he's like all right just wanted to say good call on that marine pier up there on my port side nice job deck crew and Vian's like copy that I'll keep my audio book down so the guests say goodbye and everything and Eric has this really important goodbye speech he goes oh man you guys are such a gift I mean there's not one toxic trait in this crew i'm like literally okay you're not so this is how i know you're you're you're a charlatan because you cannot be on blow deck without being full of toxic traits so the fact that you didn't pick up on all the toxic traits swirling around you shows that you're a fraud but he goes you guys are incredible you got you're going to inspire the world this is for you guys my toxic traitless friends. So he hands it off.
And then he goes, you guys are incredible. You're going to inspire the world.
This is for you guys, my toxic traitless friends. So he hands it off.
And then Eric goes to his car with his friends. He goes, one of the best exit speeches on earth just happened.
They all loved it. Wait till I tell Tebow about this.
The only way this could have been better is if I had a screen with starving children in africa above me while i said it god damn it i'm good god i'm great so everyone's clean everyone cleans up their children in africa once i gave them three tiktoks you should have seen their veins you should have seen them so uh now it's uh time for the tip meeting everyone goes to the tip meeting. There's no disco helmet this time.
He goes, well, we lost a crew member, and we'll do our best to get a substitute, and you'll probably be doing the next charter by yourself at the Spawns Arena. And whether the dick's a man nut down or a thumb down, we're going to move around to support each other because that's what we're here to do.
I could have sworn he was going that to Serena I thought he was going to be like well Anthony's not here but you're the department head so you have to wear it Serena but I think he just wanted to avoid the tears yeah so he basically was like yeah this summit belongs to Anthony and then he was like alright the tip was $22,000 and we're going to take Anthony's tip and everyone was like, whoo. Personally, for these guys to talk so much, this guy to talk so much about success to be, and it was a two-day charter, yada, yada, yada.
I don't know. I personally thought it should have been $25,000 for tip, not $22,000.
So honestly, this guy, you can talk about being an alpha male all you want, but he certainly tips like a male but he left them nuggets of wisdom which are priceless you know what i mean say the dragon the dragon man um so now how how how uh vian is passing serena's room and she's shirtless but she's wearing this like pink bra with diamond straps and he's like what are you doing and she's like yeah it's because all my other ones are dirty and i haven't got around to washing arms so you know sniffing her armpits she's like yeah you know uh so i'll just wear my party lingerie when i'm cooking now and he's like she's like yeah i've got him got him hooked i don't know how anyone could look at beyondion and not be attracted to him obviously have a type manly short muscly guy so i'm hoping i could get to know him a bit better and we see pictures of like culver that didn't work out so well so um she's like i reckon i've got another day in this one this bra which like to smell my lady musk lady mask. He's like, all right, very nice, very nice.

So people are going to

go out and everything and they're talking about hair

and like, oh, you look good, etc.

And Marina's saying that she has a crush on me on.

And she's like, you know, he's handsome,

he's a nice guy, and I want to get to

know him a little bit more, but I demand a lot

and maybe he's got what it takes.

I demand much scuba. That's scuba for grandpa.
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You can listen to Even the Royals early and ad-free by joining Wondery Plus. So now they go eat, and Marina's like, so they're all saying, bon appetit.
And Marina's like, well, how do you say bon appetit in your own language? You all speak English. Do it.
And Dara goes, dig in! Dig in! Is that what we say in English? So then Harry is offering a prawn to Brianna, because they're in love. And she's like, um, I don't think so.
I've never had one of those. And he's like, really? He's like, you've never had a prawn? You haven't been to South Africa, have you? And she's like, no.
So she tries a prawn, and she likes it. So the chemistry's off the charts.
Yeah, it's huge. Like, listen, the man who gives you your first prawn.
I mean, come on. So Zarina has dated a few South Africans, and she's like, but, and she's telling this to Vian, and she's like, but I've only been cheated on by South Africans, so it's a bit of a soft spot for me.
And he goes, don't worry, I'm half Dutch. I cheat on you, but I'm on time.
Sorry, that's Swiss people. What are Dutch people known for? I cheat on you, but I give you the chocolate after.
I'm always on time. it's funny that he is half dutch because i can totally see him wearing one of those like old-timey dutch hats you know in the paintings you know i'm talking about yeah little buckles and he is like actually now that i he is so he is so baroque period if you think if you really look at beyond like look at like a baroque d Dutch painting.
A pair of tights and some lederhosen. Look with that hat.
Wearing those hats, that big swoopy hat and then the white frilly thing here. I could totally see Vian like that.
That is really the era that he should be in. So we go back to my favorite story of life, Brianna trying a prawn's like oh that's actually really good it's like i told you our children are gonna love them she's like oh my god do you think it's gonna talk to me about feeding me that prawn if we kiss and we have prawns in our mouth does it still count as a kiss or is it the prawns are kissing? I don't know.
There's just like so many things raising through my head. So Johnny, meanwhile, has a story.
He shows Marina a photo of him with his grandfather. He's like, he's Johnny.
I'm Johnny. She goes, oh.
I do it at every dinner. He's Johnny.
I'm Johnny. Who doesn't do that? Who doesn't just whip out a picture of their grandfather at dinner? Like, oh, look, my grandfather.
Oh, that's great. He's Johnny.
I'm Johnny. My father.
He had affairs, so my mother sent him off when I was five years old. But growing up, I used to hate my father.
And then he tried to bring us back into his life and i'm friends with him he's not my father though he's not johnny i'm john grandfather johnny he's just another johnny just another johnny so um so marina's like so he's not your father figure and he's like no my mother is both father and mother where's her picture then my mother johnny so he's like my mother is definitely a get shit done person my brother and i she raised us crazy boys she was cleaning she was cooking i was floating up in the middle of the ocean because i got lost one time but she was doing two or three jobs now she's 62 and she has six back yeah i got that from her definitely yeah She must have been going to eric's stuff she's like no excuses johnny no excuses johnny slay dragon marina's like for me family is my priority in life it's like yes tell me about your johnny so now everyone leaves okay so we just got to stop the car for a second because casting hi so this is now another deck crew who comes from a parent that loves him are you even working over there shelly anybody over there okay go ahead yeah it's it's it's a bit of a problem so they're back on the boat zarina hugs um vian and the uh him and Zarina's like so what's going on is this real is this real and he picks her up and she's like am I heavy he's like no they're just being very flirty and physical and then Marina and Adair decide to go to bed while everyone else goes up to the hot tub and they are are in the hot tub, which Harry is sitting in. Harry, what are you doing in that hot tub with your thumb? Keep your thumb away from the water.
It's a gremlin, okay? But they play truth or dare. You got time to tub? You got time to scrub, boy.
That's right. Take a nap all day only to get your leaky shit in the hot tub.
So they're going to play truth or dare. And Zarina's dare is really lame.
She says, okay, Harry, run over there and I want you to scream I'm a hero off the back of the boat. So he goes and does that.
And it's like, fine. And Laura doesn't like Truth or Dare, mostly because she's an adult.
And she's like, yeah, you know, I hate this game because it could lead to sticky situations,

literally, and awkward conversations. I just don't want to be part of that.

You know?

Well, Laura...

I played Truth or Dare,

and someone dared me to do my own eyebrows

with a Sharpie, and now look at me.

You know?

It's permanent.

It's never going to leave me alone.

Also, Laura is building her own...

She's like renovating a barn in the English countryside

that she just wants to live there with a bunch of dogs

and not speak to people.

And I think that once you decide,

I'm going to renovate a barn in the English countryside. So fortunately, that means no more truth or dare for me.
Humphreys is no longer part of my life story. I'm renovating a barn in the English countryside.
The two things don't work. You can't do both those things.
Yeah, and by the way, Vian and Harry are both wearing matching Speedos. Why are they wearing matching Speedos? So, he does it.
He screams, I'm a hero, and Laura's like, yes, yes, you are, Harry. I'm a little giraffe hero.
So now Harry... What? I just said baby giraffe.
Just yes, ending. Well, I'm a little baby giraffe.
So now Harry's like, okay, my turn. Vian.
Talk to this girl over here about our kiss. Tell her I enjoyed it.
So he dares Vian to kiss Zarina and then they kiss and it's hot and serena is like you know obviously horned up i mean who wouldn't be beyond is really hot i feel like i'm every week i'm appreciating more and more that beyond's really hot and so then uh like oh my god it was hot so lara's like okay johnny truth to dad and he's there. Wait, are you talking to me or my grandfather? No, you, Johnny.
Okay, there. I'm sorry.
Which Johnny? Hero Johnny or other hero Johnny? Like you, right? Now do a sexy strip dance on Serena. By the way, Serena said after that, she goes, oh, I'm over the moon that that was our first kiss.
So that means that there's gonna be other kisses. So Serena's like, he's mine now mine now you know yes so now johnny has to strip over her and do a strip tease and he does the weirdest fucking strip tease he goes he stands above her and then wipes his hairy ass on her face that's some crazy right there i've never seen that and i'm gay i thought he was gonna be better at this because they showed it in the coming up and we see him do this, but they edited it in the coming up where it looks like really sexy.
And I was like, I was already getting excited. I was like, I can't wait for the striptease of this lap dance.
Cause like, I was like, I can, I started to imagine like Johnny, I can actually sort of see him doing like a really like sexy thing. And then when he actually did it, I was like, oh no, he just, that was the editing that gave him a little bit of an assist there it was really really bad yeah and beyond's like oh he's like chatting tatum that is chanting taintum he's wiping his tank all over her face that's disgusting and then he just starts throwing chatting ain't him they're like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa yeah chatting ain't him yeah so um uh yeah so everyone said everyone goes to sleep and while this is all happening they keep cutting to marina asleep because it's like oh look you snooze you lose yeah so they're they're all going to their rooms and laura's like oh zarina he kissed you she was like oh my god it was so nice his lips are perfect i want them all over my body right now so zarina is falling for him obviously and veon tells harry she was a good kisser too so now everybody goes to bed and then uh captain jason does some yoga on the deck well i guess someone isn't really into seal you know seal revolutionary videos on youtube like on YouTube like Captain Glenn.
I need more content from Jason. I'm just saying, I don't know why I'm disappointed in Jason today.
I just am. So then Harry goes over to him and goes, he's like, hey, Jason, I've got a favor.
Could you tell Bri about the kiss I had with her? I just don't really feel like having the conversation. Also, I've asked Brianna out asked brianna out on a date he's like okay well haven't we been down this road before and we see a flash back to margot last last year being like um you're not seriously looking for relationship are you harry because i'm not i mean i'm just not sexually attracted to you in any sort of way whatsoever i don't know how else to say it say that to you i miss margo's face whenever harry was flirting with he'd be like hello margo and she'd be like um why um like the next strain of like oh uh so back to it back i was about to say you don't have to miss her face you can just watch southern charm and sienna oh yeah the cringe just utter cringe so harry is like oh you know don't worry this time it's too white it's reciprocal and he's like well good that's good to hear mate all right good got a bit mojo do you've got my blessing may the force be with you my friend may the force be with you that's a nerdy thing to say right do you understand that I'm speaking your language very good captain so then Vian comes into the galley while Zarina's prepping and she's like that's so weird kissing you yesterday she's like being flirty and he's like yeah you're a good kisser that's good you know you have the most beautiful lips i think i've ever that have ever touched my you know i think i have a little bit of a crush on beyond i really want to get to know his personality and you know i haven't had a meaningful relationship in years and he's just a really really good kisser i'm so excited that our relationship is definitely a relationship and going forward it's just wonderful yeah once i wipe the ass hairs off of my face i could really savor that kiss uh so then um brianna and marina are cleaning their room uh cleaning rooms and talking about the jacuzzi session and brianna's like well, well, Dion and Zarina kissed, and they talked about it.
She's basically pregnant. And Marina's like, no way.
Come on. But he took me to the scuba dive.
And she's like, yeah, they were playing Truth or Dare. But everyone knows if you go to scuba dive, you're basically married.
So she says, the Latina in me is you we don't but then again we don't have anything together but how dare you so now uh it's 20 21 hours until charter and we go to captain jason and harry in the break room talking about clothes like what he's gonna wear on his date and he's like uh do you need to borrow some clothes, mate? He's like, I've got a salmon shirt. And he goes, that's coral.
He goes, it's salmon. And he's like, yeah, that's coral.
All right, I'm a kimono king. Do you want to have a look? Let me just show you some clothes.
And he tells us, I wouldn't say Harry's got the best style. I mean, he's going out on a date with a model.
He's got to pick his game up. is the key the linen did look good on him though because you know harry would have worn some sort of like you know khaki short shorts or something so they put him in some nice linen duds and he's like it's what dad's a fool you know and um then harry like he puts it on everything and he's and har Harry's telling people he's wearing Jason's pants and everything.

And then so he meets up with Brianna and she's like,

Oh my God, I like this color on you.

Are we going to talk about colors?

Okay, are we talking about colors first or kissing?

I'm just, like, really confused.

Are we going to have this conversation or not?

It's like, it's salmon. It's salmon.

It's salmon.

You mean coral?

Short salmon.

So it's raining, but he's prepared with an umbrella. It's like so romantic.
So they go on their date, and then Serena and Johnny are talking about, you know, how her back hurts and stuff. And so he gives her a massage.
And she's like, thank you, that's so good. Tell me that on… What did she say to him? I guess it later oh yeah okay so first we go to marina she's talking to vian at the coffee bar and uh vian's like well you should have come we had a lot of fun yesterday in the hot tub and she's like oh really well i was tired and he was like you missed out she goes oh well i didn't know you were having such great time huh how was the great time that you were having and he's like oh she's a good kisser and she goes yeah i'll have to try it out

he's like oh what's that she goes what and he's like well you you should have come last night and

she goes well what are you doing tonight he goes well i'm i'm gonna work out and then she's like

of course you will and then meanwhile the massage nothing says he wants you like uh i'm working out

Now, let's go. he goes well i'm i'm gonna work out and then she's like of course you will and then meanwhile the massage nothing says he wants you like uh i'm working out yeah can't wait to make out with you what are you doing in five minutes um push-ups wow so zarina so now the massage is still happening downstairs and Zarina's like, you could tell me that I'm a strong, independent woman and I've got this.
Could you tell me that? And he's like, you're a strong, independent woman. You've got this mother.
What? I mean, Zarina. Now lie down while I sit on your face.
She's like, okay, it's enough of that. We're not playing truth of dare right now.
Please, I'm planning some soups.

So then back at the coffee bar.

With a fork.

Fork only soups.

Don't get it into your head.

So Marina invites Vihan to the bar to get some iced tea and chill.

So he's like, okay.

And she goes, it's a date. And he's like, oh, geez.
So then we go to the real date get some iced tea and chill. So he's like, okay.
And she goes, it's a date.

And he's like, oh, geez.

So then we go to the real date and ice cream shop.

Oh my God.

And Brianna's like, oh, I want some ice cream.

Let me see.

What's the best seller?

Do you have prawn ice cream?

I just started to eat those.

They're like, no.

So they get- I can't even take that as a joke

because there are places that probably would serve that now like that i once had lobster ice cream and it was bad it was bad i had it was like cheese ice cream i think it like salt and straw or something and i was like no no no no no i am like when it comes to funky flavors so like i it just doesn't always work out there's some people some places that can do it well, like Jenny's. Jenny's does the funky flavor really well.
Like, have you had their pancake? Jenny's has, they have like a maple syrup and pancake ice cream. And that's delicious.
I've been eating that. Yeah, that sounds amazing.
Yes. And then they also have like also have like us there's some they just there was just some amazing one that they that they sent me that was really good okay they didn't send me any thanks a lot jenny i'm on the jenny's list now there's going to be all sorts of cool flavors now whatever but they they do good ones salt straw does their their funky flavors okay but some places try to be really cute and clever.
And they just let Jenny's and Salt and Straw do it. Because it's not going to work.
The other day eating ice cream. I ordered two kinds.
And I ate them both. Mint chocolate chip.
And regular chocolate chip. Okay.
They were amazing. I was like, whoa, this is crazy.
Chocolate chip and mint chocolate chip. Nice.
It i was like whoa this is crazy chocolate chip and me chocolate chip uh it was chocolate chips over here and it was delicious you should definitely try out the the pancake the pancake one and um judy our friend judy she says she's turning into a commercial for jenny's i swear it's not supposed to be but she had apparently jenny's also has like a blueberry um pancake ice cream that she had recently and she she texted me and was like this is the most amazing thing of all time so that's my advice cream okay so back on this i'm solicited so um he she gets coconut and he gets strawberry very important and she's She's like, my family owns an ice cream shop. Oh, and now we're on an ice cream date.
Wow. The chemistry again, off the charts.
So he tries to feed her ice cream, but then he gets the ice cream on her nose. He's like, well, I'm sorry.
That's because I can't use my thumb. I did it on purpose so that, so that, so I can then he touches her nose he goes oh so what do you think about yachting prawns anything and she's like well i wasn't i wasn't i got into yachting because i was in aruba and i was bartending and then i got introduced to the captain and he was like i love your personality and i want you to come on my boat tomorrow and you know thought, nothing's safer than just going on a boat with a stranger.
So here I am. Hard to be a model.
God, just how shit happens. Like, I was just bartending, and someone said, you should come on my super yacht.
Isn't that crazy? Yeah, it totally happens to the rest of us every fucking day, Brianna. So he's like, wow, beer.
Well, I've sailed since I was six, because my parents sailed, and I was the sailing instructor. I was like 12, and I was teaching little kids how to sail.
That's incredible. I always wanted to be a marine biologist.
That has nothing to do with sailing, but I just want to tell you about myself. Maybe that's why I'm getting my master's in, well, I'm going to get my master's in marine biology.
Well, yeah, that would help. If you always wanted to be a marine biologist, it probably would be helpful to pursue an advanced degree in marine biology.
She's like, that's why I got an MFA in dance, to become a marine biologist. I just want to feed dolphins ice cream.
And that's why I went to school to become an electrician. She's really putting two and two together.
Model dreams. So back on the boat, people are doing work and stuff.
And meanwhile, Harry gets to hold hands with his thumb on one hand.

So they're like into each other.

She thinks he's like super sharing and caring.

And she's like, I've never seen anything like it in my life.

Oh, I just haven't felt giddy since my ex.

I mean, he just makes me feel so special.

And he's doing it not inside New Jersey, which is a huge plus.

So they come back to the boat and they walk into the galley and um serena's like so how was your date just want to hear what worked what didn't work so on my future date with vion i'll know what to look out for and he's like oh she's beautiful so genuine and so all happy. Meanwhile, the other date, Marina, she's at the bar, I should say.
It's not even on a date yet. They're just upstairs because this episode is never ending.
Marina is talking to Brianna about going on a date with Vian. And Marina basically says, I asked them out and that they're going to be going to a bar.
So now they get ready and they go off to the bar. And Vian and Marina are ordering drinks.
They're ordering Negronis and stuff like that and being flirtatious. And he's like, oh, I'm so glad you asked me to come.
And she's like, well, I didn't want to make things weird to be completely honest. He's like, well, it's not weird at all.
I love this. This is wonderful.
And she's like, but you took me scuba diving, get over here and they make a bracelet she makes she made him a bracelet of some sort like a taylor swift french bracelet she gives it to him and then they yeah they make out it says bezos it's to celebrate uh the best party in salt lake city of the year she's like oh you've got it so then uh it cuts back to you know so she's she's with him so of course it keeps cutting back to serena going where is everyone is anyone here still and uh she finds out that they went on a pool day and guess who tells her messy ass harry of course's like, yes, she's been on a pool day, a pool bar date.

And she's like, what?

And she looks upset.

And he's like, wait, what's the date?

Did I get that wrong?

Whoops.

So then we cut back to them making out. And then Serena goes to her room all upset.

She's like, my brain is cooked.

I can't do this tonight. And she goes into her room and she slams the door and she goes, backstabbing bitch.
Are they roommates? No, they're not roommates. I think Marina's with Adair.
So yeah, once again, Serena, just when she starts to like a guy, last season it was Culver. And now the season it's beyond gets he winds up going off with someone else

gosh always a sea chef never the chef um which doesn't really work in this but still all right everybody thanks so much for being here i don't know why this was a two-parter i don't know i don't i don't really have nothing happened but you know what there's sometimes in life you gotta to have a two-parter because it takes one man to do two parts. That's right.

Alpha man, bro. No excuses.
Ronnie is a two parter. And that's just the way it is.
All right, everybody. Great times.
Sure. Love you.
Thanks for being here. Go to watchupcrappens.com for show dates and ticket links for our live show.
And if you want these on videos and you want traders bonus episodes, go look at Ben, just yawning and wiping his face. That took a lot out of me.
I was like, oh, two dates on one, two days. Cause it felt like the show should have ended.
It felt like the show should have ended after the tip meeting. They all went out and then it's like, oh wait, the show is still going.
And we had not only one, we had two dates. I mean, I enjoyed the episode, but just recapping it.
I was like, this is still going. This is crazy.
one we had two dates i mean i enjoyed the episode but just recapping it i was like this is still going this is crazy it was a long ride all right everybody well thanks for being here we'll talk to you next time bye watch what crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like alison king our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious it's amanda foster's Always Automatic with Ashley Otto. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.
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