#2741 Below Deck Down Under S03E04 Part Two: No Excuses, Brah

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Speaker 1 Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. This is part two of a two-part recap.
If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps.

Speaker 1 Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye.
Enjoy the show.

Speaker 2 So Harry goes into Vion's cab and he's like, so so I just asked Brianna out on a date.

Speaker 1 And she said yes.

Speaker 2 And they like high five, which is funny because Vion really,

Speaker 2 Vion is being very chill about the fact that he really wanted to go after Brianna. And now his underling has

Speaker 2 stolen Brianna

Speaker 2 as is rightfully.

Speaker 2 He is as he is as, not due. He is, it's not a, not a proprietary thing, but I'm saying that in other.
other below decks, people would take the stance of like, she was mine and I'm the boss.

Speaker 2 She belongs to me first. The pegging order, bro.
And Vion's just like,

Speaker 2 guess I lost.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And not only that, but he also got stuck with Harry in his room. And now the other room is just Johnny.
So he could move, he should move back to the other room again.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he should, because now Vion has to just sit here and listen to Harry talk about how Harry kissed the girl that Vion liked. But you know what, though?

Speaker 2 I think this actually, in an episode where we're talking about testosterone list, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I think this actually speaks of big dick energy from Vion because he's chill about it.

Speaker 2 He's, he's not unraveled. He doesn't unravel.
He's not insecure about it. He's not like, his identity is not wrapped up and being able to get the model on the boat.
He's like, fine, great.

Speaker 2 I missed out.

Speaker 1 He's also like wanting to bang everybody on the boat, which is what we find out in his next monologue.

Speaker 1 He's like, well, I thought I had chemistry with Brie, but, you know, Harry ended that experiment for me. However, I'm still looking for love.
You know, Serena is awesome. We're having fun.

Speaker 1 Like, who doesn't like attention? I love, I love, that's such a guy thing.

Speaker 1 Like, well, he's giving me attention she's giving me attention so i like her and then they make a little marine a little heart with serena and then marina marina and serena wow never really loves that so he also likes her because she's very forward and she can really appreciate a scuba diving trip so that turns him on and also how can you not like a brazilian i mean adair i mean she's hot you know she's spunky she's used to being covered in mud who doesn't love that you know and laura sure her eyebrows are a little askew but otherwise she's like a

Speaker 1 Barbie put together with a potato head. You know, who doesn't want to fuck that? So he's like in love with everybody on the boat, so he doesn't care.

Speaker 2 He really is. He's, he's, you know,

Speaker 2 always looking for an open port. Oh, what's that? No,

Speaker 2 is there a lady in there?

Speaker 2 I hear a lady talking. I know it's not.
There's not. Is your phone?

Speaker 1 Oh my God, it's my watch.

Speaker 1 Shut the fuck up. What's your

Speaker 1 watch

Speaker 1 and i was playing a commercial from the writer's podel panel podcast what a creep that creeped me the hell out and i look down and it's only bueller there and i was like finally bueller's talking to me this is the end

Speaker 2 Your task rather arrived. It's like, surprise.
Sorry, my hot brother was ill today. So here I am, a lady who you definitely want to fuck, right?

Speaker 1 I'm like, sorry, sorry, Ben, but there's somebody standing downstairs holding um a boom box up uh and

Speaker 1 playing something romantic gotta go my task rabbits here

Speaker 2 i would love it if that's how task rabbits arrived

Speaker 2 so uh now everyone goes to bed and now people wake up it's the next day and zarina uh is in the kitchen and she drops a giant pan on the floor

Speaker 2 and i was like wow i'm sure the sound department really appreciated all that in their headphones right now I was like, oh, God, Serena, you're such a grumpy cut fitness today.

Speaker 1 And then Captain comes in and he just looks down and goes, hmm, good morning. Ah, protein bowls.
She's like, yeah, do you want one? He goes, no.

Speaker 1 He's like disgusted with the protein balls.

Speaker 1 So I think I think that we want to be stalling to Hall.

Speaker 2 So we pick up Anchor Ball at 11.

Speaker 2 And so Vion's like, okay, sure. Harry can drive the tenders.
Yada, yada, yada. And so Harry is then checking in on Brianna, asking if she's slept well.

Speaker 1 And he's like, I'm planning a date. It's in my head.
Oh, we're going to go on a date.

Speaker 2 She's like, you are. I was like, yeah, I'll let you know another plan.
She's like, I'm so excited. I'm like, literally, please don't subject us to that date.

Speaker 2 My least favorite thing on Blow Deck, a sweet Blow Deck date.

Speaker 1 I literally thought when I saw this, I was like, let me guess, you're going to go to an ice cream shop. Because doesn't that sound so like Harry? Like, I've got a date.
We're going to a soda shop.

Speaker 1 We're going to get a little ice cream. Then Then after that, maybe we'll play a little ski ball or something like that.
It just seems very hairy. And that's what they do.
They go get some ice cream.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I call that. Yeah.
And it's just as boring as you can imagine. So then Vion, meanwhile, is asking Adair if she's excited, like what for to tonight, going out.
with the group.

Speaker 2 And she's like, yeah, there are a lot of outfits I want to wear that I can't wear because my belly's so pale. And I'm like, you know, yeah, because my belly's pale compared to the rest of my body.

Speaker 2 So I can't show off my belly. But it's either that or wearing the mud boat uniform so i don't know what i'm gonna do tonight

Speaker 1 uh so now they are on deck and vion's uh talking about who likes who and he thinks adair liked anthony and harry's like well who's she gonna fancy now

Speaker 1 and vion's like i don't know she's definitely my type but they're all kind of my type in a way i can find something about everybody so then we cut to the table and the guest eric is like yeah let me tell you guys women have the power to control men if they just knew a few little secrets now let me tell you I need you to tell me I'm the man every day number one number two touch me non-sexually every day and I need you to fuck me regularly that's all you need to do then then you can totally control just that just that I need you I need to deal with your fragility every single day by saying that you're the man because you don't have enough self-esteem uh to arrive to that conclusion on your own.

Speaker 2 So you need external validation for me because otherwise your entire worldview will collapse. Okay, got it.

Speaker 2 Number two, you need me to touch you non-sexually every day, but also very sexually every day. Got it.
So you just want to be touched. You just want to be fucked and touched every single day.

Speaker 2 Okay, so you're basically needy and alone in this world. And

Speaker 2 without some sort of physical or emotional connection, you are just going to crumble because you don't have enough,

Speaker 2 you don't have enough confidence in yourself to just forge forward like a true wolf and just shut the fuck up and do what you have to do to get your money and get food on the table. Got it.

Speaker 1 Number one, tell me my hair looks real. Number two, tell me it looks like I naturally don't grow hair on my back.

Speaker 1 And number three, tell me my face doesn't look like a baseball glove. The end.
Yeah, let me come all over you.

Speaker 1 Wow, that's a sounds easy.

Speaker 2 Here are the three secrets to

Speaker 2 here's the three secrets, to secrets that women can use to control men first of all serve lattes that are 30 calories or less second of all

Speaker 2 me after the latte third of all second latte please but it has to be zero calories i already used my 30 calories up in the first one that's it

Speaker 1 so laura's listening to this because she's behind the bar and she's like what he's like yeah and you come home with a list of shit i'll do it but don't start with that start with support like this hand touch my arm doc yeah bro instantly touch it touch it touch it bro touch my hand oh yeah oh god it just came out my pants oh my god fuck you want me to do the laundry i'll fucking do it yeah touch me bro

Speaker 2 guys we live in a society full of beta men snowflakes that are all like oh emotions emotions okay fuck those bros who you need to be an alpha male an alpha male who when confronted with some things that he may need to do says i can't hear that right now it's too much for me come on touch my arm instead touch my arm That's what a real alpha does.

Speaker 1 What a douchebag. And can we just have one meal? Can your poor friends have one meal? We're not trying to solve your self-help bullshit.
My God.

Speaker 1 So Lara's like, Yeah, I've met people like Eric before, and they're my ex-boyfriends for a reason.

Speaker 1 Most likely because they couldn't stop looking at me kind of cross-eyed, trying to figure my eyebrows out, and then left.

Speaker 1 I didn't like them either, so

Speaker 2 you know what, God, I just want to add one more thing: men have a connection to women that shows love through sex.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Well, I'm sure this guy has a lot of self-love, too.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 2 now it's drop-off day. So everyone's excited about that to get this whole self-love.

Speaker 1 Like men really, men really show their emotions through sex. No, they don't.
Men can fuck goats. Like men.

Speaker 1 Men can fuck anything. Get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 2 Yeah, those words will be used against you because when you inevitably cheat on your woman and you say, no, it meant nothing. It was just like, whatever.
It didn't mean anything.

Speaker 2 You're on camera saying, when you fuck, it's because you love someone. You're showing love through fucking.
So congratulations. You just condemned yourself for all future cheating excuses.

Speaker 2 Well, whatever I'm trying to say.

Speaker 1 You fucked up. Yeah, I gotcha.
I gotcha.

Speaker 1 He's backing himself into a corner for sure. Thank you.
Much better. So then they finally get to drop off these fucking losers.
So Serena's talking to the captain about crew lunch.

Speaker 1 She's like, what did you want for crew lunch and he's like nothing you've got all this food left over and she's like um well we've got to eat something for the night out I mean last time they'd sat down and hadn't hadn't even had a proper lunch I mean it's a lot for them it's a lot of work I've got to make them food he's like then just put this food out there I mean make them some wraps with it and she's like we don't have wraps lady he's trying to make this easier on you

Speaker 2 yeah and he's like well this is lunch and she goes is it's like yeah I mean just turn this into a brunch it's fine because it's all breakfast food and she goes really

Speaker 2 And Jason's like, I generally understand, you know, I generally know Zarina cares for the crew. And to me, to say, don't feed them, that's fine.
That's against what she would want to do.

Speaker 2 But she's just had that problem with the sous chef. Didn't work out.
So we can spoil ourselves with the food that's there.

Speaker 2 There's enough food there.

Speaker 1 We're not going to starve.

Speaker 2 And basically, he tells Lara, like, yeah, we're just...

Speaker 2 We'll just have this brunch food after the tip meeting or whatever, or we'll have it early. Like, this is going to be the food that you're going to have.
And then you'll eat dinner later tonight.

Speaker 2 And so Lara's like, okay, so we're looking at brunch, whatever.

Speaker 1 but Zarina is like losing her mind yeah so then um the guests or Johnny is cleaning you know they're cleaning whatever so Lara checks on Serena later and she's like oh my god Jason's just pissing me off I mean I've just done breakfast now I have to add on to it by doing nothing with this food like what is she complaining about he didn't ask her to do anything extra he asked her to do less

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 she's like, I don't know. I think she's just in a spiral and she's like, I mean, so I have to make this other breakfast and now like stuff's gonna get cold and now he wants me to do more stuff.

Speaker 2 And on top of that, you know, Vion is just like in love with me, so I have to deal with that. And that's got a lot of pressure on me.

Speaker 2 And just like the whole reason why we do it after the tip meeting, she starts going on and on and on about it. And he's right there in the next room over.
And she's going on and on and on.

Speaker 2 And finally, he just walks in and he's like, all right, what's the problem, Zarina? Do you want a kimono?

Speaker 2 What's going on here? I'll save you cooking in preparation after the tip meeting. And, you know, I'm more than happy to have you cook again.
Do you see what I'm trying to say?

Speaker 2 I'm trying to save you from having to cook more.

Speaker 1 She's like, Oh,

Speaker 2 and she starts to cry like a scolded daughter.

Speaker 1 And he tells us, Don't stop picking a fight with me. I'm on your side.
I'm here to support you, make your job easier. I've come up with a solution.
You don't like it, then don't listen to it.

Speaker 1 You know, is this the way it's going to be all season? I'm not going to put up with it. I'll tell you that.
No, no.

Speaker 1 So then it just cuts to Serena still crying in the kitchen. She's like,

Speaker 1 I have to make too much, but I can't make anything.

Speaker 2 So then Laura's consoling her, and Serena's like, Yeah, it's just hard time to get used to being a solo chef again. I'm still really in my head around that.
You're getting my head around it.

Speaker 2 It just didn't need Jason and I fighting on top of it. It's just, I put so much pressure on myself that I just get into my head about it.

Speaker 2 And I just think after being bullied and put down and let down, I kind of do it to myself now. I'm my own biggest villain, you know.
That's why I don't like to put spoons out there.

Speaker 2 You only get smacked on the head with a spoon so many times in your life. I don't want to put it into a bowl for people, you know?

Speaker 2 So Captain Jason's like, all right, everyone, time to dock or whatever. So

Speaker 2 they

Speaker 2 go and they dock.

Speaker 1 Oh, God. Thank God we get some more wisdom from Eric before he leaves.
He's like, you know what's funny?

Speaker 1 If you fast for three days and you eat like five tic-tacs, your veins pop out of your arms like you're the hook. Look at my veins.
You didn't fast for three days? What the fuck are you talking about?

Speaker 1 We watched you you eat

Speaker 2 and yeah and i don't think the veins are popping because of the tic-tacs the steroids

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 2 yeah man intermittent fasting followed by a tic-tac tic tic-tac break fast yeah does amazing things of your vascularity bro

Speaker 1 all right so now they have to dock the boat and uh he's like all right just wanted to say good call on that marine pier up there on my port side nice job deck crew and vion's like copy that.

Speaker 1 I'll keep my audio book down.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 2 so

Speaker 2 the guests say goodbye and everything. And Eric has this really important

Speaker 2 goodbye speech. He goes, oh man, you guys are such a gift.
I mean, there's not one toxic trait in this crew. I'm like, literally, okay, you're not.
So this is how I know

Speaker 2 you're a charlatan because you cannot be on below deck without being full of toxic traits. So the fact that you didn't pick up on all the toxic traits swirling around you shows that you're a fraud.

Speaker 2 But he goes, you guys are incredible. You got, you're going to inspire the world.
This is for you guys, my toxic traitless friends. So he hands it off.

Speaker 2 And then he goes, then Eric goes to his car with his friends. He goes, one of the best exit speeches on earth just happened.
They all loved it.

Speaker 1 Wait till I tell Tebow about this. The only way this could have been better is if I had a screened with starving children in Africa above me while I said it.
God damn it, I'm good.

Speaker 1 God, I'm great.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 everyone cleans up their heads.

Speaker 1 Starving children in Africa. Once I gave them three TikToks, you should have seen their veins.
You should have seen them.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 now it's time for the tip meeting. Everyone goes to the tip meeting.
There's no disco helmet.

Speaker 2 this time he goes well we lost a crew member and we'll do our best to get a substitute and you'll probably be doing the next charter by yourself at that spawns arena and whether the dick's a man not down or a thumb thumb down we're going to move around to support each other because that's what we're here to do so basically

Speaker 1 he was going to give that to serena i thought he was going to be like well anthony's not here but you're the department head so you have to wear it serena but i think he just wanted to avoid the tears

Speaker 2 Yeah, so he basically was like, yeah, this helmet belongs to Anthony. And then he's like, all right, the tip was $22,000.

Speaker 2 And we're going to take Anthony's tip. Everyone's like, woo.

Speaker 2 Personally, for these guys to talk so much, this guy to talk so much about success to be uh and it was a two-day charter yada yada yada i don't know i personally thought it should have been twenty five thousand dollars for tip not twenty two thousand dollars so honestly this guy you can talk about being an alpha male all you want but he certainly tipped like a beta male but he left them nuggets of wisdom which are priceless you know what i mean say the dragon slay the dragon man Um, so now,

Speaker 1 uh, Oviana's passing Serena's room and she's shirtless, but she's wearing this like pink bra with diamond straps. And he's like, what are you doing?

Speaker 1 And she's like, yeah, it's because all my other ones are dirty and I haven't got around to washing them. So, you know, sniffing her armpits.
She's like, yeah, you know,

Speaker 1 I'll just wear my party lingerie when I'm cooking now. And she's like, yeah, I've got him.
Got him hooked.

Speaker 2 I don't know how anyone could look at Vian and not be attracted to him. Obviously, I have a type.
Manly, short, muscly guy. So I'm hoping I could get to know him a bit better.

Speaker 2 And we see pictures of like Culver.

Speaker 1 That didn't work out so well.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 she's like, I reckon I've got another day in this one, this bra. I'd like to spend my Lady Musk.
He's like, all right, very nice, very nice.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 people are going to go are going to go out and everything. And they're talking about hair and like, oh, you look good, etc.
And Marina's saying that she has a crush on Vion.

Speaker 2 And she's like, you know, he's handsome. He's a nice guy.
And I want to get to know him a little bit more, but I demand a lot, and maybe he's got what it takes.

Speaker 1 I demand much scuba. Let's

Speaker 1 scuba for grandpa.

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Speaker 1 So now they go eat and

Speaker 1 Marina's like, so they're all saying bona petit. And Marina's like, well, how do you say bonapete in your own language? You all speak English.
Do it. And

Speaker 2 Darrell goes, dig in.

Speaker 1 Dig in. That's how we say it in English.

Speaker 1 So then Harry is offering a prawn to Brianna because they're in love. And she's like, I don't think so.
I've never had one of those.

Speaker 2 And he's like, really?

Speaker 1 It's like, have you never had a prawn?

Speaker 2 You haven't been to South Africa, have you? And she's like, no.

Speaker 2 So she tries a prawn and she likes it. So the chemistry's off the charts.
Yeah, it's huge.

Speaker 1 Like, listen, the man who gives you your first prawn. I mean, come on.
So Zerena has dated a few South Africans and she's like, but I've, and she's telling this to Vion.

Speaker 1 And she's like, but I've only been cheated on by South Africans. So it's a bit of a soft spot for me.

Speaker 1 And he goes, don't worry, I'm half Dutch. I cheat on you, but I'm on time.
Sorry, that's Swiss people. What are Dutch people known for? I cheat on you, but I get very shocked after you.

Speaker 2 I'm always on time.

Speaker 2 It's funny that he is half Dutch because I can totally see him wearing one of those like old-timey Dutch hats, you know, in the paintings. You know what I'm talking about?

Speaker 1 Yeah, little buckles. And

Speaker 2 he is like, actually, now that I, he is so,

Speaker 2 he is so Baroque, period. If you think, if you really look at Vion, like, look at like a Baroque Dutch painting.

Speaker 1 Para tights and some leader hosen.

Speaker 2 Like with that hat,

Speaker 1 like the wearing the those hat those that big swoopy hat and then like the white like frilly thing here i could totally see vion like that that is really the era that he should be in yeah um so we go back to my favorite story alive brianna trying a prawn and she's like oh that's actually really good it's like i told you our children are gonna love them she's like oh my god do you think he's gonna talk to me about feeding me that prawn

Speaker 2 if we we kiss and we have prawns in our mouth, does it still count as a kiss or is it the prawns are kissing? I don't know. There's just like so many things racing through my head.

Speaker 2 So Johnny, meanwhile, has a story.

Speaker 2 He shows Marina a photo of him with his grandfather. He's like, he's Johnny.
I'm Johnny.

Speaker 1 She goes, oh,

Speaker 1 I do it at every dinner.

Speaker 1 He's Johnny. I'm Johnny.
Who doesn't do that? Who doesn't just whip out a picture of their grandfather at dinner? Like, oh, look, my grandfather. Oh, that's great

Speaker 2 he's johnny i'm johnny

Speaker 2 my father he had affairs so my mother sent him off when i was five years old but growing up i used to hate my father and then he tried to bring us back into his life and i'm friends with him he's not my father though he's not johnny i'm johnny grandfather johnny he's just another johnny

Speaker 1 just another johnny so um so so marina's like so he's not your father figure and he's like no my mother is both father and mother where's her picture then?

Speaker 2 My mother, Johnny.

Speaker 2 So he's like, my mother is definitely a get shit done person. My brother and I, she raised us crazy boys.
She was cleaning, she was cooking.

Speaker 2 I was floating off in the middle of the ocean because I got lost one time. But she was doing two or three jobs.
Now she's 62 and she has six back. Yeah, I got that from her.
Definitely.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 She must have been going to Eric's

Speaker 1 stuff.

Speaker 1 She's like, no excuses, Johnny. No excuses.
Johnny, Slay Dragon.

Speaker 2 Rina's like, for me, family is my priority in life. It's like, yes, tell me about your Johnny.
So now everyone leaves.

Speaker 1 Okay, so we just got to stop the car for a second because casting. Hi.
So this is now another deck crew who comes from a parent that loves him. Are you even working over there?

Speaker 1 Shelly, anybody over there? Okay.

Speaker 2 Go ahead. Yeah,

Speaker 2 that's a bit of a problem.

Speaker 2 So they're back on the boat. Zarina hugs Vion in the

Speaker 2 she hugs him. And Zarina's like, so what's going on? Like, is this real? Is this real? And he picks her up and she's like, am I heavy? He's like, no.

Speaker 2 And they're just being very flirty and physical, you know.

Speaker 2 And then Marina and Adair decide to go to bed while everyone else goes up to the hot tub and they are in the hot tub, which Harry is sitting in.

Speaker 2 Harry, what are you doing in that hot tub with your with your thumb? Keep your thumb away from the water. It's a gremlin, okay?

Speaker 2 But they play Truth or Dare.

Speaker 1 You got time to tub, you got time to scrub, boy.

Speaker 2 That's right.

Speaker 1 Taking that

Speaker 1 only to get your leaky shit in the hot tub.

Speaker 2 So they're going to play Truth or Dare.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 Zarina's dare is really lame. She says, okay, Harry, run over there.
And I want you to scream, I'm a hero, off the back of the boat.

Speaker 2 So he goes and does that.

Speaker 1 like fine whatever and Laura doesn't like truth or dare mostly because she's an adult um And she's like, yeah, you know, I hate this game because it could lead to sticky situations, literally, and awkward conversations.

Speaker 1 I just don't want to be part of that. You know, well, Laura, I played Truth or Dare and someone dared me to do my own eyebrows with a Sharpie.
Now look at me. You know,

Speaker 1 it's never going to leave me alone.

Speaker 2 Also, Laura is building her own. She's like renovating a barn in the English countryside that she just wants to live there with a bunch of dogs and not speak to people.

Speaker 2 And I think that once you decide on that path in life,

Speaker 2 you basically forfeit your, your truth or dare card. You're like, sorry, I am no longer allowed to play this game because I've decided I'm going to renovate a barn in the English countryside.

Speaker 1 So fortunately, that's a truth or dare for me.

Speaker 2 Hump or dare is no longer part of my life story.

Speaker 2 I'm renovating a barn in the English countryside. It doesn't work.
The two things don't work.

Speaker 2 You can't do both those things.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And by the way, Vion and Harry are both wearing matching Speedos.

Speaker 1 Why are they wearing matching Speedos?

Speaker 1 So he does it. He screams, I'm a hero.
And Laura's like, yes yes you are harry i'm a little giraffe hero so now harry what

Speaker 1 i just said baby giraffe just yes ending well i'm a little baby giraffe so now harry is like uh okay my turn beyond

Speaker 1 talk to this girl over here about our kiss tell her i enjoyed it

Speaker 2 So he dares Vion to kiss Zarina and then they kiss and it's hot and Zarina is like, you know, obviously horned horned up. I mean, who wouldn't be? Vian is really hot.

Speaker 2 I feel like I'm every week I'm appreciating more and more that Vion's really hot. And so then like, oh my god, it was hot.
So Lara's like, okay, Johnny, truth of dad. And he's like, dare.

Speaker 2 Wait, are you talking to me or my grandfather? No, you, Johnny. Okay, there.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry. Which Johnny? Hero Johnny or other hero Johnny? Like, you.
Right. Now do a sexy strip dance on Serena.

Speaker 1 By the way, Serena said after that, she goes, oh, I'm over the moon that that was our first kiss.

Speaker 1 So that means that there's going to be other kisses so serena's like he's mine now you know yes so now johnny has to strip over her and do a strip tease and he does the weirdest fucking strip tease he goes he stands above her and then wipes his hairy ass on her face that's some crazy shit right there i've never seen that and i'm gay I thought he was going to be better at this because they showed it in the coming up and we see him do this, but they edited it in the coming up where it looks like really sexy.

Speaker 2 And I was like, I was already getting excited. I was like, I can't wait for this strip to use this lap dance.

Speaker 2 Cause like, I was like, I can, I started to imagine like Johnny, I can actually sort of see him doing like a really like sexy thing.

Speaker 2 And then when he actually did it, I was like, oh, no, he just, that was the editing that gave him a little bit of an assist there. It was really, really bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Vion's like, oh, he's like chatting tatum. That is channing

Speaker 1 taint him. He is wiping his taint all over her face.
That's disgusting. And then he just starts throwing channeling inktum.
They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Channing Inktime.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So, um,

Speaker 2 uh, yeah, so everyone said everyone goes to sleep. And while this is all happening, they keep cutting to Marina asleep because it's like, oh, look, you snooze, you lose.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So they're, they're all going to their rooms. And Lara's like, oh, Zarina, he kissed you.
She was like, oh my God, it was so nice. His lips are perfect.
I want them all over my body right now.

Speaker 2 So Zarina is falling for him, obviously.

Speaker 1 And Vion tells harry she was a good kisser too so now everybody goes to bed and then uh captain jason does some yoga on the deck well i guess someone isn't really into seal you know seal revolutionary videos on youtube like captain glenn i need yeah i need more content from jason i'm just saying i don't know why i'm disappointed in jason today i just am

Speaker 2 So then Harry goes over to him and goes, he's like, hey, Jason, I've got a favor. Could you tell Bri about the kiss I had with her? I just don't really feel like having the conversation.
Also,

Speaker 2 I've asked Brianna out on a date. He's like, okay, well, haven't we been down this road before?

Speaker 2 And we see a flashback to Margo last year being like, um, you're not seriously looking for a relationship, are you, Harry? Because I'm not.

Speaker 2 I mean, I'm just not sexually attracted to you in any sort of way whatsoever. I don't know how else to say that to you.

Speaker 1 I miss Margot's face whenever Harry was flirting with. He'd be like, hello, Margot.
And she'd be like, um,

Speaker 1 why?

Speaker 1 Like the next strain of like, oh.

Speaker 1 So back.

Speaker 1 Back.

Speaker 2 I'm about to say, you don't have to miss her face. You can just watch Southern Charm and Sienna.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. The cringe, just utter cringe.
So Harry's like, oh, you know, don't worry. This time it's too, it's reciprocal.
And he's like, well, good. That's good to hear, mate.
All right, good.

Speaker 1 Got a bit of mojo, dude. You've got my blessing.
May the force be with you, my friend. May the force be with you.
That's a nerdy thing to say, right? Do you understand that?

Speaker 1 I'm speaking your language. It's like, very good, Captain.

Speaker 2 So then Vian comes into the galley while Zarina's prepping and she's like, that's so weird kissing you yesterday. She's like being flirty.
And he's like, yeah, you're a good kisser.

Speaker 1 She's like, Vinny.

Speaker 2 That's good to know. You have the most beautiful lips I think

Speaker 2 have ever touched my.

Speaker 2 You know, I think I have a little bit of a crush on Bion. I really want to get to know his personality.
And, you know, I haven't had a meaningful relationship in years.

Speaker 2 And he's just a really, really good kisser. I'm so excited that our relationship is definitely a relationship and going forward.
It's just wonderful.

Speaker 1 Yeah, once I wipe the asshairs off of my face, I could really savor that kiss.

Speaker 1 So then Brianna and Marina are

Speaker 1 cleaning rooms and talking about the jacuzzi session. And Brianna's like, well, Dion and Zarina kissed and they talked about it.
She's basically pregnant. And Marina's like, no way, come on.

Speaker 1 But he took me to the scuba dive. And she's like, yeah, they were playing Truther there.

Speaker 2 But everyone knows if you go to scuba dive, you're basically married. So she says, the Latina and me is like, bitch, how dare you? We don't.
But then again, we don't have anything together.

Speaker 2 But how dare you?

Speaker 1 So now it's 20, 21 hours until charter, and we go to Captain Jason and Harry in the break room talking about clothes, like what he's going to wear on his date.

Speaker 1 And he's like, do you need to borrow some clothes, mate? He's like, I've got a salmon shirt. He goes, that's coral.
He goes, it's salmon. And he's like, yeah, that's coral.
All right.

Speaker 1 I'm a kimono king. Do you want to have a look?

Speaker 1 Let me just show you some clothes. And he tells us, I wouldn't say Harry's got the best style.
I mean, he's going out on a date with a model. He's got to pick his game up.
Linen. Linen is the key.

Speaker 2 The linen did look good on him, though, because, you know, Harry would have worn some sort of like, you know, khaki short shorts or something.

Speaker 2 So they put him in some nice linen duds. And he's like, it's what dad's a fool, you know?

Speaker 2 And then Harry, like, he puts it on everything.

Speaker 2 And Harry's telling people he's wearing Jason's pants and everything. And then, so he meets up with Brianna and she's like, oh my God, I like this color on you.
Are we going to talk about colors?

Speaker 2 Okay. Are we going to talk about about colors first or kissing I'm just like really confused are we gonna have this conversation or not

Speaker 1 it's salmon

Speaker 1 you mean coral

Speaker 1 short salmon so it's raining but he's prepared with a umbrella and it's like so romantic so they go on their date and then Serena and Johnny are talking about you know how her back hurts and stuff and so he gives her a massage and uh

Speaker 1 she's like thank you that's so good tell me that

Speaker 1 on what did she say to him? I guess it's later. Oh, yeah.
Okay. So first we go to Marina.
She's talking to Vion at the coffee bar. And Vion's like, well, you should have come.

Speaker 1 We had a lot of fun yesterday in the hot tub. And she's like, oh, really? Well, I was tired.
And he was like, you missed out. She goes, oh, well, I didn't know you were having such great time, huh?

Speaker 1 How was the great time that you were having?

Speaker 2 And he's like, well, she's a good kisser. And he goes, yeah, I'll have to try it out.
He's like, Oh, what's that?

Speaker 1 She goes, What?

Speaker 2 And he's like, Well, you should have come last night. And she goes, Well, what are you doing tonight? He goes, Well, I'm going to work out.
And then she's like, Of course, you will.

Speaker 2 And then, meanwhile, the massage nothing says he wants you.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 I'm working out.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 can't wait to make out with you. What are you doing in five minutes?

Speaker 1 Push-ups.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 2 So, Zarina, so now the massage is still happening downstairs. And Zarina's like, you could tell me that I'm a strong, independent woman and I've got this.
Could you tell me that?

Speaker 2 And he's like, You're a strong, independent woman. You've got this mother.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 2 I mean, Zarina.

Speaker 1 Now lie down while I sit on your face. She's like, Okay, it's enough of that.
We're not playing Truth of Dear right now.

Speaker 1 Please, I'm planning some soups.

Speaker 1 Serving back at the coffee with a fork.

Speaker 2 Fork only soups.

Speaker 2 Don't get it into your head.

Speaker 1 So Marina invites Vihan to the bar to get some iced tea and chill. So he's like, okay.
And she goes, it's a date. And he's like, oh, geez.
So then we go to the real date and the ice cream shop.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. And Brianna's like, oh, I want some ice cream.
Let me see. What's the best seller?

Speaker 2 Do you have prawn ice cream? I just started to eat those. They're like, no.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 they.

Speaker 1 that's my i can't even take that as a joke because there are places that probably would serve that now like that i once had lobster ice cream and it was

Speaker 2 it was bad i had it was like cheese ice cream i think it liked salt and straw or something and i was like no no no no i am like when it comes to funky flavors so like

Speaker 2 i

Speaker 2 it just doesn't always work out there's some people some places that can do it well like jenny's jenny's does the funky flavor really well like have you had had their pancake they jenny's has um they have like a pan like a maple syrup and pancake ice cream and that's the one sounds amazing well that's i've been eating that yeah that sounds amazing yes um and then they also have like us there's some they just

Speaker 2 there was just some amazing one that they that they sent me that was really good

Speaker 1 Oh, guess what? They didn't send me any.

Speaker 2 Thanks a lot, Jenny. I'm on the Jenny's list now.
They're sending me all sorts of cool flavors now. Whatever.
They do good ones.

Speaker 2 Salt Straw does their funky flavors okay, but some places try to be really cute and clever. And they just, just like, just let Jennies and Salt and Straw do it.

Speaker 1 I got real funky the other day eating ice cream. I ordered two kinds and I ate them both.

Speaker 1 Mint chocolate chip and

Speaker 1 regular chocolate chip. Okay.
They were amazing. I was like, whoa, this is crazy.
Chocolate chip and mint chocolate chip nuts.

Speaker 1 It was lots of chocolate chips over here and it was delicious.

Speaker 2 You should definitely try out the pancake, the pancake one. And Judy, our friend Judy, she says she's

Speaker 2 turning into a commercial for Jenny's. I swear it's not supposed to be.
But she had, apparently, Jenny's also has like a blueberry pancake ice cream that she had recently.

Speaker 2 And she was, she texted me and was like, this is the most amazing thing of all time. So that's my advice.

Speaker 1 Okay, so back on this.

Speaker 2 Unsolicited.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 she gets coconut and he he gets strawberry, very important. And she's like, my family owns an ice cream shop.

Speaker 2 Oh, and now we're on an ice cream date. Wow, the chemistry.
Again, off the charts.

Speaker 2 So he tries to feed her ice cream, but then he gets the ice cream on her nose.

Speaker 1 He's like, well, I'm sorry.

Speaker 2 That's because I can't use my thumb. I did it on purpose so that, so that, so I can do that.
And then he touches her nose. He goes, oh,

Speaker 2 so what do you think about yachting, prawns, anything? And she's like, well, I wasn't, I wasn't, I got into yachting because I was in Aruba and I was bartending.

Speaker 2 And then I got introduced to the captain and he was like, I love your personality, and I want you to come on my boat tomorrow.

Speaker 2 And, you know, I thought nothing's safer than just going on a boat with a stranger. So, here I am.

Speaker 1 How to be a model. God, just how shit happens.

Speaker 1 Like, I was just bartending, and someone said, You should come on my super yacht.

Speaker 1 Isn't that crazy? Yeah, it totally happens to the rest of us every fucking day, Brianna.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 he's like, wow, a beer. Well, I've sailed since I was six because my parents sailed and I was a sailing instructor.
I was like 12 and I was teaching little kids how to sail.

Speaker 2 That's incredible. I always wanted to be a marine biologist.
That has nothing to do with sailing, but I just want to tell you about myself. Maybe that's why I'm getting my master's in,

Speaker 2 well, I'm going to get my master's in, marine biology.

Speaker 2 Well, yeah, that would help if you, if you always wanted to be a marine biologist, it probably would be helpful to pursue an advanced degree in marine biology.

Speaker 2 She's like, that's why I got an MFA in dance to become a marine biologist.

Speaker 1 I just want to feed dolphins ice cream.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 2 that's why I went to school to become an electrician.

Speaker 2 She's really putting two and two together.

Speaker 1 Model dreams.

Speaker 1 So back on the boat, people are doing work and stuff. And

Speaker 1 meanwhile, Harry gets to hold hands with his thumb on one hand. So they're like into each other.
She thinks he's like super sharing and caring.

Speaker 1 And she's like, I've never seen anything like it in my life. Oh, I just haven't felt giddy since my ex.
I mean, he just makes me feel so special.

Speaker 1 And he's doing it not inside New Jersey, which is a huge plus.

Speaker 2 So they come back to the boat and they walk into the galley and Zerena's like, so how was your date? Just want to hear what worked, what didn't work.

Speaker 2 So on my future date with Vion, I'll know what to look out for. And he's like, oh, she's beautiful, so genuine.
And so all happy. Meanwhile, the other date, Marina.

Speaker 2 She's,

Speaker 2 or at the bar, I should say. It's not even on a date yet.
They're just upstairs because this episode is never ending.

Speaker 2 Marina is talking to Brianna about going on a date with Vion

Speaker 2 and how Marina basically says I asked him out and that they're going to be going to a bar. So now they get ready and they go off to

Speaker 2 the bar. And Vion and Marina are ordering drinks.
They're ordering the gronies and stuff like that and being flirtatious. And he's like, oh, I'm so glad you asked me to come.

Speaker 2 And she's like, well, I didn't want to make things weird, to be completely honest. He's like, whoa, it's not weird at all.
I love this. This is wonderful.

Speaker 1 And she's like, but you took me scuba diving. So get over here.

Speaker 2 And they make him a bracelet.

Speaker 2 She made him a bracelet of some sort, like a Taylor Swift friendship bracelet. She gives it to him.
And then they, yeah, they make out. It says Bezos.

Speaker 1 It's to celebrate the best party in Salt Lake City of the year. He's like, oh, got it.
So then it cuts back to, you know, so she's...

Speaker 1 She's with him. So, of course, it keeps cutting back to Serena going, where is everyone? Is anyone here still?

Speaker 1 And she finds out that they went on a pool day. And guess who tells her? Messy ass Harry.
of course yep messy's like yes

Speaker 1 she's being on on a pool day a pool ball date and she's like what

Speaker 1 and she looks upset and he's like wait was it a date did i get that wrong whoops

Speaker 1 so then we cut back to them making out and then um serena goes to her room all upset she's like my brain is cooked i can't do this tonight and she goes into her room and she slams the door and she goes backstabbing bitch

Speaker 2 are they roommates or no No, they're not roommates. I think Marina's with Adare.

Speaker 2 So yeah, once again, Zarina, just when she starts to like a guy, last season it was Culver, and now this season it's Vion.

Speaker 2 He gets, he winds up going off with someone else.

Speaker 1 Sad. Gosh.
Always the C-Chef, never the Siff.

Speaker 1 I know. Which doesn't really work in this, but still.
All right, everybody. Thanks so much for being here.
I don't know why this was a two-parter. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't really have an idea. Nothing happened.

Speaker 2 But you know what those sometimes in life, you got to have a two-parter because it takes one man to do two parts. That's right.
Alpha Man, bro. No excuses, Ronnie.

Speaker 2 It's a two-parter and that's just the way it is.

Speaker 1 All right, everybody.

Speaker 1 Great times. Sure, love you.
Thanks for being here. Go to watchwitcrappins.com for show dates and ticket links for our live show.

Speaker 1 And if you want these on videos and you want traders bonus episodes, go look at Ben. Just see.

Speaker 1 I'm yawning and wiping his eyes.

Speaker 2 That took a lot out of me. I was like, oh, two dates on one

Speaker 2 because it felt like the show should have ended. It felt like the show should have ended after the tip meeting.
They all went out. And then it's like, oh, wait, the show is still going.

Speaker 2 And we had not only one, we had two dates. I mean, I enjoyed the episode, but just recapping it, I was like, this is still going.

Speaker 1 This is crazy. That was a long time.

Speaker 1 All right, everybody. Well, thanks for being here.
We'll talk to you next time. Bye.

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Speaker 2 Picture this.

Speaker 5 You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange. The horizon doesn't look right.
At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.

Speaker 5 Then, the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all.
It's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water, and it's racing straight toward you.

Speaker 5 On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning.

Speaker 5 No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation.

Speaker 5 In this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive.

Speaker 5 Follow Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Against the Odds Tsunami in Thailand early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.