#2742 RHOBH S1413 Part One: Caviar Taste on a Doritos Budget

54m

This is part one of a two-part recap

There’s a Caviar and Caftans party on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and Sutton rips Dorit for being poor after another comment on her alcohol intake. Who will end up with fish eggs on their face? To watch this recap on video, listen to our Traitors bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens

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Runtime: 54m

Transcript

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Speaker 1 Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast for all the crap we love to talk about on ye old broths. I'm Ronnie.

Speaker 2 That's Ben over there hi ben you gorgeous man uh hi ronnie you gorgeous man how's life with you it's fantastic just enjoying another sunny day in southern california enjoying this you know just having a nice easy day of nothing but oh oh

Speaker 1 oh whoa whoa whoa

Speaker 1 News and grace Alexia News Network. Welcome to the Alexia Newswork Network.
Oh, well, you know, Peter. Guys, huge news.
Karen Huger has been sentenced to prison.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 2 A family of mourners has just arrived. They've gathered outside the courthouse.

Speaker 1 Guys,

Speaker 1 that's old Blue Eyes, the driver over there, sobbing. Bless his heart.

Speaker 1 Wow. So yeah,

Speaker 1 Karen was sentenced to

Speaker 1 two years in prison, which is crazy, with one year suspended and I think five years of probation. Is that what I read in here? Crazy, crazy stuff.

Speaker 1 Karen Hugar was back in a Montgomery County Circuit Court. This is from People Magazine's Dave Quinn.

Speaker 1 Wednesday, February 26th, where she was officially sentenced to two years in prison with one year suspended for her ongoing drunk driving case.

Speaker 1 We have clips from Karen arguing her case in the court today. Well, I was only Flintstone's vitamins.
They're very, very addictive, and I only took them because my dear parents have left this world.

Speaker 1 And I'm so sorry that Fred Flintstone has done this to me. Please, gel, Fred Flintstone and Pig Pharma.

Speaker 2 Your Honor, I would like to appeal to the court and to the jury and say that I am innocent, and it is the median that should be investigated. You know, and I will not rest.

Speaker 2 I understand I have to do my civil service, and I will go to jail like so many martyrs before me.

Speaker 2 But when I get out of this facility, I will spend every waking minute wondering who was the median that did this to me and how can we stop it from doing it to other people.

Speaker 1 When I got out of that cop car and I said, I am lit, it was because the camera was on me and there was a light on it and I was thanking the kind police officer for lighting me.

Speaker 1 Now, when are we going to get tests for deer running into the street? Who's alcohol testing the deer?

Speaker 2 When I, when the officer, the kind officer, asked me to say the alphabet backwards, well, of course I didn't do that correctly because it is, as an artist, it is up for me to interpret what an alphabet even is.

Speaker 2 And I refuse to be jailed for having artistic integrity.

Speaker 1 So yeah, this was crazy. That's a long time to be in jail.
People were saying it was going to be like six months tops.

Speaker 1 And so when people say six months, I thought, oh, she'll probably get like a month, you know? But no, she got six months.

Speaker 1 And someone on reddit i mean she got two years and someone on reddit named purple

Speaker 1 wait purple panda pants

Speaker 1 purple panda pants on reddit went to the courtroom now i love a sloppy ass messy bravo viewer going to the courtroom to cover this on reddit and by the way their icon is archie i believe their their avatar is archie so the best is that it's like archie is archie is that like at the courthouse giving uh updates on what has happened Archie, who's already been through the ringer.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Because you had Shannon Bedor is drunk driving and he was actually walking through the streets because Shannon had pretended that she was walking her dog, Archie, at the time of clipping the house.

Speaker 1 So it's fitting that Archie is now reporting from the courthouse. He's hardened.
He's experienced. Yes.

Speaker 2 So we have

Speaker 2 Purple Panda Pants

Speaker 2 is at the courthouse. And you know this because they have like a little headline with everything that they post saying, Karen Sentencing, I'm at the court.

Speaker 1 So first of all, that's like your tagline on Reddit. You can come up with your own tagline.

Speaker 2 My tagline is, that's my housewife's tagline. Karen sentencing, I'm at the court.

Speaker 1 So she was updating this whole time. So you have to scroll down a little bit to see where she started because obviously this goes backwards.

Speaker 2 11.39 a.m.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 basically, a bunch of people, you know, the judge comes in and

Speaker 1 she says the judge seems a little bit lost. Both sides sent sentencing

Speaker 1 guidelines or whatever requests. And then we get to

Speaker 1 judge read a letter from Morningstar Baptist Church, read a letter from the director of Rehab B

Speaker 1 and a statement from Mad. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm mothers against deplorable

Speaker 1 discographies as well. I do not appreciate children listening to terrible music either.
Set me free.

Speaker 2 I don't know where you are in this.

Speaker 2 You'll just have to read this.

Speaker 1 Well, basically, she's just updating as it goes along.

Speaker 1 Karen was sentenced to two years in jail, one year suspended, has to serve one year in jail, five years probation.

Speaker 1 And then she says at 1129, Karen just got taken away by the sheriff to start. I mean, she started already.
I thought that was something they're like, okay, you better report to jail in a few months.

Speaker 1 And then maybe she could shoot a couple of scenes. But no, they took her ass right to jail.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Go directly to jail.
I personally enjoy Update. I got yelled at by the judge for live tweeting.

Speaker 1 So please, please await my next live tweet.

Speaker 2 You are now part of the court record.

Speaker 1 Purple Panda. Purple Panda Pants is my new hero.
So

Speaker 1 it's

Speaker 1 some friends and family here gathered around her and said, we're praying for you and you've got this. And she's gone.
Apparently on her way out, she told Ray, you've got this.

Speaker 1 You've You've got this, Ray.

Speaker 2 God will take care of you. He's like, that's right.

Speaker 2 I do have this. And I am going to Florida to golf.

Speaker 1 I'm going to be golfing in Florida. Yes.
He's like, woo!

Speaker 1 Ray has reported.

Speaker 1 Ray has reported to his recovery center in Florida, the golf, the golf course.

Speaker 1 So, wow, that's crazy. So we're going to get a year, at least a year without Karen on Potomac, which I know, I know there's bigger things to worry about than my television schedule, but name them.

Speaker 2 Name them.

Speaker 2 I think that she will be out.

Speaker 2 I think she will not serve a full year. She'll be out probably in six months, if not less.
Good behavior.

Speaker 2 I'm sure there will be a very strongly worded character witness document that will be sent in from the tally-hoe.

Speaker 2 And I think that it'll be okay.

Speaker 2 Maybe she'll like transition to house arrest or something like that. But I think it's all very scary.
I mean, the truth is this, whether it's one year or just like three nights, Karen Huger in prison,

Speaker 2 I don't even see how that works. Like, I can't, but they said this on the reunion.
I don't understand how Karen survives a prison situation. The food, the lack of glam,

Speaker 2 just everything.

Speaker 2 I don't see Karen. I don't see Karen being...

Speaker 2 She's coming back a changed and broken woman.

Speaker 1 That's what I see oh no she's gonna come back stronger than ever she's gonna have a huge hero story coming back i hope she learns to make ponchos you know like martha stewart and she comes back out in the poncho line or some shit i think

Speaker 1 i think she's gonna do great in prison i don't think it's like real prison you know it's like karen huger prison i think it's gonna be like home goods prison where it's like kind of newbies you know danberg connecticut you know yeah i feel like it's gonna be nice prison but i don't know i have no idea because you know why because purple panda pants has not told me so get on it purple panda pants all right so that's you know better you better get yourself in jail throw it get do do a crime do a crime and then get yourself thrown in jail and then report from inside the jail please that's that's what a real reporter does that's called going undercover

Speaker 1 karen's making the worst shanks ever she's like i made a five wick shank

Speaker 2 it's got five blades on it It's just five blades.

Speaker 1 Like there's nothing even sharp on there.

Speaker 1 And it's toilet paper that I rolled up. And, you know, it started on fire.
It's a week.

Speaker 1 So anyway, welcome to Watch What Crappins, everybody. Today is Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Day.

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And thank you to everybody who supports over there. Let's get on with some Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Speaker 1 Shall we be in?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I'm just trying to adjust my mic. So

Speaker 2 I'm trying to have an aspirational microphone moment where if I raise my mic up higher, I won't slouch in my chair as much because I'll have to rise up to the microphone.

Speaker 2 So don't mind me over here making tons of noise and fiddling around here. Like the mic is up high.
I'm going to say hi.

Speaker 2 I'm going to have really good posture during this entire episode because this is an episode that requires good posture. A lot's going on.

Speaker 2 It starts off with Dorit and Jagger playing basketball at their home court. And Jagger throws the ball through the hoop and Darit's like, oh no, I can't grip this ball to save my life, Jaggy.

Speaker 1 And he's like, stupid mother.

Speaker 2 And he's like, no, it's just not easy with long nails.

Speaker 1 So in the long,

Speaker 1 you know, the tradition, let me just say, in the tradition of parents who speak, well, at least a mother who speaks with a fucked up crazy accent, Jagger speaks with, did you notice Jagger's accent?

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's also

Speaker 1 British.

Speaker 2 He's a very Osborne child. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I don't think I've ever heard Jagger with an accent because I remember him not having an accent, but I think he went to school and was like, fuck these people.

Speaker 1 I'm getting five accents because now he's like, it's no hold.

Speaker 1 I'm just quit the boy.

Speaker 1 I was like, wow, this kid's traveled a lot. He's got, he's got the well-traveled accent that his mommy has.

Speaker 2 I wonder if they're going to school with other children or are they still using that classroom in the house?

Speaker 2 Because if they're not socializing with other kids, then their primary accents are going to be PK and Darit.

Speaker 2 So they're going to wind up sounding like they're from, you know, Liechtenstein or something.

Speaker 1 Poi is 3.14, buddy. Like, okay, Jackie, go out and play with your biscuit ball.

Speaker 2 And then Garcel is at some rooftop pool with someone named Stacey Mandelberg, which I was like, hey, is that my family member? And then it's like, no, it's Mandelberg, not Mandelker.

Speaker 2 And it's very like...

Speaker 1 It's your neighbors. Dear old neighbors, the Mandelbergs.

Speaker 2 Mandelberg. Stacey Mandelberg from Mandelberg Films International.

Speaker 1 We never had a challenger in the family and the family potato sack race until the Mandelbergs came along. Mandelker versus Mandelberg.
Don't, don't, don't.

Speaker 2 Stacey Mandelberg is like, all right, everyone, we have a new script coming in. Richard Grico is attached.
We think we can sell this one to Paramount. Go.

Speaker 1 It's supposed to be, your mom's like, it's supposed to be a potato sack race. So

Speaker 1 Garcelle's like, all right, here's what I'm doing. Ruining another potato sack race.

Speaker 1 Wait, what about the potato sack race?

Speaker 1 The Mandelbergs. They're your neighbors.

Speaker 1 They were your first real competition in the neighborhood, the potato sack race.

Speaker 2 they were, it was, I blocked it out because it got bloody.

Speaker 1 It's like kind of

Speaker 1 Garcel is talking about her new film, Black Girl Missing, Part 19. And she's like, well, here's, here's what I'd like to talk about.
The opening credits.

Speaker 1 Here's like, I feel like I need one beat because all we really have is a close-up of the school, you know, exterior school. So I'm going to need more than that.

Speaker 1 Flagpole?

Speaker 1 Car parked out front? Mm.

Speaker 1 Mailbox with French fries in it. Sounds great.
That's it. Print.

Speaker 2 Print. I've got an idea.
Why don't we have a shot of the sign that says HBCU so we know we're at an HBCU?

Speaker 1 This is why I hire you, Mandelbaum.

Speaker 2 It's Mandelberg. Whatever.

Speaker 1 Now listen here, Mrs. Mandelker.
You might have lost the last five potato sack races your family entered, but you're good with exteriors.

Speaker 2 It's Mandelberg.

Speaker 2 We don't mention the Mandelker name around these parts.

Speaker 1 So, Black Girl Missing Part 19 coming soon. So, then we go to Erica's house and she's on the phone with her mother.

Speaker 1 And people are unpacking flurry of unpacking, you know, very inexpensive things around Erica's house for her remodel. And she's like, You're going to come, my mom, because everything's still emotion.

Speaker 1 Look over here, just gaze, gaze in a flurry. All right, you're going to sleep in the bed with me because I'm not sleeping on my brand new couch.
You understand me, mom? She's like, Okay,

Speaker 1 sure. You excited to come, ma,

Speaker 1 Sure.

Speaker 2 Sure. Looks like a lot of patterns have been installed behind you.
It's sort of like vaguely kind of like some sort of quasi-British person version of India, but sure, I'll come. Thanks, Ma.

Speaker 1 How many mothers get to say they slept in the bed that Army Hammer threatened to eat their daughter's flesh in? Anyway.

Speaker 2 So now we have Trixie Monica going, all I know is we gonna get it. We gonna get it.
Off we do it. We're gonna do it.
We're gonna sleep with it. We're gonna be it.
Come on, Paul. Come on.

Speaker 2 Give me some more verbs that we can do with it. Come on, Paul.

Speaker 1 We're running out. I just want to leave the audience confused, right? I want to just kept talking about doing it, but we're never going to talk about what we're going to do.
Right?

Speaker 1 So the audience perplexed. I want Mrs.
Mandelker in the potato sack race with the losing medal. Do you understand?

Speaker 2 I want Pennywise the Clown to get mad, be like, stop saying my name. I'll be like, it's not your name anymore.
It's my lyric. So

Speaker 2 the past two weeks weeks or so two or three weeks we have not seen anything from jennifer tilley and we've been wondering where's jennifer tilly so they made up for it with a super like a super dense jennifer tilley episode lots of jennifer tilly so she shows up at caviar caspia um and she's looking fabulous she's got sunglasses on i mean like cannot underestimate cannot cannot emphasize enough how much i love jennifer tilley and she's like hello everyone hi house i just call me miss glamorama i hear you guys have been been, you guys have some ideas for the caviar.

Speaker 2 So please let me know. You know, caviar caspia is like the perfect place to have a party.
I love cast. I love caftans and I love caviar.
So I love caviar caspia.

Speaker 1 So they're like, well, our first order of business is how to arrange the tables. I love that she's acting like she's coming in here planning this whole party.

Speaker 1 They make a table of straight lines and serve caviar and a baked potato. Okay, that's it.
How do we do that?

Speaker 2 Wait a second. What if we turn the tables over and have all the legs sticking up? No, John.

Speaker 2 Oh, God. This arranging tables is tricky.

Speaker 1 I thought it would be a really fun opportunity for the girls to put on caftans with lots of jewelry. And then for the invitation, I said, Think Talithagati.

Speaker 1 I don't know if anybody knows who that is, but they don't understand castets like me.

Speaker 2 You know, first of all, we are going to do a table like put a put a bunch of tables close together. That'd be great if you could do that.
Thank you so much. Give the tapes.
Oh, yeah, that's wonderful.

Speaker 2 And like, okay, I'm not really a caviar connoisseur, and I guess this is really crass of me, but I try to order the most expensive caviar on the menu because I figure it's probably the best.

Speaker 2 Um, yeah, this is that's Simpson's money, by the way. That's Simpson's money.

Speaker 1 Lots better than money.

Speaker 2 I don't know what it tastes like, but it's expensive, so whatever.

Speaker 1 That's Beverly Hill.

Speaker 1 They're just like, it's expensive. Send it over.
Send over the most expensive one you have. It'll be delicious, I'm sure.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I'm looking, you know, I'm sorry, I seem distracted, but it's because I'm looking up Tyla Fagetti. And I don't know.
I'm going to look at some images and see if she has a lot of caftan.

Speaker 1 Tyler's going to go. Oh my God, she's my favorite one on the Golden Girls.

Speaker 1 I love on the Golden Girls when she would like go into salons and tell people how to redo them.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 God, I wish I would have loved to have had Elizabeth Montgomery as my mother.

Speaker 1 So now she's talking about having a long, cohesive table.

Speaker 2 Tell the Getty needs to relax. I'm looking at photos of her.

Speaker 1 Every photo she's flopped. So I would call that pretty relaxed.
Okay.

Speaker 1 She's taking an eternal nap in.

Speaker 2 She has a lot of photos of her flopped up against the wall. Like that's her.
No wonder why she's like a caftan queen. She is like a human caftan.
Every photo is her like propped up on some structure.

Speaker 1 Relax. You are so right, man.

Speaker 1 You are so right. Like with every single thing she's leaned up against something like she's

Speaker 1 literally looks.

Speaker 2 It's like if you took like a towel and threw it against the wall, like that's she's like, that's my pose.

Speaker 1 Even when she's holding her baby, she's just like, ah, it's baby's touching.

Speaker 2 She is the most floppy person, R.I.P., but look, I mean, every single photo is her flopped up against something. It's wild.

Speaker 1 Talathagedi, the model who made headlines leaning on things.

Speaker 1 It's like, it's not even, it's like every photo.

Speaker 1 Just like,

Speaker 2 there's like one of her, like, she has a lot. She has a lot of photos by like, um, like, like, like stone kind of like stone walls or structures.

Speaker 1 I'm sure there's one on-demand video. Look, she's just leaning.

Speaker 2 Wait, they have, uh, so this is, wait, this is very exciting because um uh stream yard has just debuted the ability to share photos and this is the pest wait look at the one there wait yeah this one on the right um you can't yeah one over that one this one look at her click it

Speaker 1 look at the sitting down kind of cross-legged and leaning and then her head's also leaning

Speaker 2 that's pretty good she cannot she is not a freestanding woman r.I.P.

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Speaker 1 I just told the model after Talitha, the model known for leaning on things. So I hope everybody listens.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 the only thing I don't like are the little orange caviars. They always remind me of the little fishbait, and coincidentally, I think they're the cheapest caviar in the menu.

Speaker 2 So as long as I order the most caviar, most expensive caviar, I'm actually fine.

Speaker 1 i just don't like roll

Speaker 2 this is where jennifer tilly and i will diverge because i i'm a caviar slut and i'll eat the cheap stuff i'll eat the expensive stuff i love it all i will eat um i don't really love the cheap arm

Speaker 1 i don't like it and i'm not going to pretend to just to sound fancy i think it's gross i don't want to eat fish eggs have you ever seen them getting caviar out of a fish and just squeezing and just caviar spurting out i mean it just looks like poop.

Speaker 1 It's like people

Speaker 1 glamorize nasty fish poop. I'm not into it.
I don't like it. I'm not doing it.

Speaker 2 Way to really tell if they get up this moment.

Speaker 1 Okay. Womp, womp.

Speaker 2 I'm like, flops the caviar onto the wall.

Speaker 1 Yeah, fuck caviar. I'm not going to pretend.
I feel like, uh, I feel like, I feel like I would be more like a Jennifer, you know?

Speaker 1 Like, I don't really know, but it sounds fancy, so I had a party about it.

Speaker 1 So now Sutton comes over to visit, and

Speaker 1 Sutton,

Speaker 1 Jennifer has just come back. She tells us that, I just got your little cheap thing.
I got your cheap thing from Altamoda. It's just a little thing, you know, so look at it.

Speaker 1 And Sutton's like, oh, it's just, oh, really? Just a little thing from Altamoda. I'm sure it's just going to be a little.
Oh, wow. It is actually just a little thing.
It's a little plate. Wow.
Wow.

Speaker 1 Thanks. Wow,

Speaker 2 is this a thimble?

Speaker 1 Why don't you get a thimble to chew off a fingernail and place that in this plate? That's all this plate's good for.

Speaker 2 So I just got back from Sardinia. I was at the Dolce and Gabbana Altomoto Fashion Show.

Speaker 2 And so Sutton and I used to go all the time, but we love Dolce and Gabbana guys. And they are sort of like family for us.
And I have a lot of Dolce and Gabbana jewelry.

Speaker 2 But then I can't pick it up until I get paid off. So I always have a little bit of a layaway plan.

Speaker 1 Aren't they super problematic, Dolchen Gamana?

Speaker 2 I name which fashion person isn't.

Speaker 1 I think they're like,

Speaker 2 we love them, you know. I don't know.
I think

Speaker 2 what's his face was really problematic. The guy, the white-haired guy with the ponytail, you know, not helmet lang.

Speaker 1 Listen, the only designer I care about is Onove.

Speaker 2 One?

Speaker 1 One of the who's that?

Speaker 1 Like the best designer in the world?

Speaker 1 O-L-V-N-A-D-Y.

Speaker 1 Omnibat.

Speaker 1 It's the only one I go to. It's the only one I trust.
And they're not problematic. Except, you know, some people consider making children make their clothes as problematic.

Speaker 1 But I say, put your children to work. Keep them out of the streets.
They're litterers.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. Has Talithagetty ever modeled any of Old Neva? Because until she has, I'm not sure if they really count.

Speaker 1 They're sleepwear, just

Speaker 1 models on the ground.

Speaker 1 So Sutton has decided that I need to find me a billionaire. Good luck, girl.
Please, I can barely find a tenionaire. Like,

Speaker 1 can anybody at least just like pay for a Starbucks?

Speaker 2 Well, I'll get you a Starbucks, Ronnie. Don't you? That doesn't count.

Speaker 1 We ain't fucking.

Speaker 2 If you just want the free shit, though, who cares?

Speaker 2 You get all the upside.

Speaker 1 The Starbucks.

Speaker 1 I'm telling you, I'm not getting it, though. I'm not getting a Starbucks.

Speaker 2 I'm not getting anything.

Speaker 1 So she decided that she deserves a billionaire. And she's like, I'm going to go for money now.
That's what I'm going to do. And I have my own, you know, but I need to find a man.
I need one.

Speaker 2 He really spoils me.

Speaker 1 Sutton, you couldn't even find one that shows up more than twice.

Speaker 2 Well, Jennifer Chile then says, well, I think that would be very nice. Remember when Christian gave you that Cartier bracelet? I was so jealous.
And the earrings that you have, too.

Speaker 2 This is my way of reminding you that you were with a billionaire and it was the worst time of your life. Okay, so moving on.

Speaker 1 And it's funny because when she's saying this, she's looking at Sutton's actual things that she's wearing. She's like, remember that racer? Oh, yeah, and those earrings.

Speaker 1 Well, you've got them on right now, actually. I love that Sutton is like,

Speaker 1 I'm going to see Jennifer today. I'm going to wear those earrings.
She's jealous of.

Speaker 2 Suck it. Hold on one second.

Speaker 1 I got the most expensive caviar.

Speaker 2 Hold on. I want to just speak to my mother.
Hey, mother, why aren't you proud of me being able to start my own little business? Okay, as I was saying, I need a billionaire to fund this lifestyle.

Speaker 1 I've had a hemorrhoid that's less painful than you as a daughter. Is that all?

Speaker 2 Thank you, mother. So Sutton's saying, she's like, oh, well, Jennifer, you missed Tarit's 4th of July party.
You know, I was reluctant to go and

Speaker 2 you seem a bit traumatized. Well, it was a bit traumatic.
Okay. Okay, first of all, yeah, you seem like you have a little bit post-traumatic stress syndrome.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I got it it the first time when you said I seem traumatized. You don't have to elaborate.
Okay, so Garcelle sits down and is like, Sutton, what are you drinking?

Speaker 2 And I said, It's the watermelon drink. It's light and refreshing, which for the record was neither light nor was it refreshing.
But I was being polite because that's the way my mother raised me.

Speaker 2 Actually, the way my mother raised me was to say, This drink sucks. But I learned not to act like my mother, which is sort of like my mother raising me.

Speaker 2 Anywho, then she goes, Garcel says, Is there any alcohol in there? And then she goes, Then we see a flashback of this incriminating moment.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Didn't you ask Sutton what she's drinking? And you asked, is there alcohol in it?

Speaker 1 She really laughed in 13 accents. She did.
So annoying. And I was like, nope, I'm not leaving.
I'm leaving.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to let you perpetuate the myth of some sort of drinking situation. And I'm taking this drink with me.
And as I left, I rolled the bar cart out and had Avi carry it home on his back.

Speaker 2 Now, did I swerve into the door jam five times just trying to get out of the house because I was so wasted? Perhaps, but I still made my point.

Speaker 1 Wait, not. Want not.
Know what I'm saying? I'm going go.

Speaker 2 I am going. Did she say gon' go?

Speaker 1 I'm gon' go. I'm gon' go.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 by the way, I have to, I'm going to admit right now, last week when Dorit said her thing, I didn't understand what joke Dorit was trying to make. Like, it didn't make sense to me.

Speaker 2 And it was only this week that I realized

Speaker 2 Darit was being sarcastic, saying, wait, you're asking Sutton what she's drinking and if there's alcohol in it, like, oh, of course there's alcohol in it. But I didn't get that for a whole week.

Speaker 2 And so you didn't get it?

Speaker 1 That was a nine-hour recap. What do you think? What do you think we were talking about?

Speaker 2 You don't have to understand these things just to be silly about them. That's what I've discovered.
It's been 13 years. I don't even know what half the shit I'm talking about.
I love you.

Speaker 1 I don't know what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah, that's what they were talking about.
I still don't find it that offensive. I'm sorry.
I know people online are like going crazy over it.

Speaker 1 Like, it's so, I know that it was shitty. And people people have pointed out that because of what Sutton has gone through with her dad and his, you know, obviously we went through that last week.

Speaker 1 That I can see how that would make it darker and someone insinuating, but Sutton's reaction is just so kooky. I mean, to me, it seems like Dorit's like almost trying to be your,

Speaker 2 I don't know, like trying to judge. Sutton's reaction had nothing to do with.
Okay.

Speaker 2 There may maybe some of the groundwork was laid by the fact that she just went to Augusta, but her reaction was solely rooted in the fact that she waited 30 minutes without being greeted downstairs.

Speaker 2 And then on top of that, Dorit

Speaker 2 took her bag and then was like not like when the joke was over, Dorit still held on to it and Sutton felt uncomfortable by it. So it was purely

Speaker 2 Sutton was just waiting for an opportunity to explode. And that's, and she chose this one.
And that's all it was.

Speaker 1 Yeah, she was already ready to go for Dorit and Darit just kept fucking with her. And that waiting 40 minutes, that's really shitty.
That's shitty.

Speaker 2 Waiting completely.

Speaker 1 She's kind of ignoring you while you talk to Kyle or whatever. That was shitty.

Speaker 1 But the like, you know, and I get that the little, you know, the little barbs or whatever, but Sutton's reaction is just so fucking crazy. And granted, I would not suggest she change it because

Speaker 1 it's amazing. I love it.

Speaker 2 Sutton is one of those few people who can be a total, total asshole. And when I like to say one of those few people, it's like, it's like all my favorites.

Speaker 2 I'm like, one of those few people who can be an asshole and I like it. I'm like, no, I like all, I love Sutton just being totally unhinged because it's just her.
She can't control it.

Speaker 2 It just comes bubbling out of her. Like she can't, she's not producing in that moment.
She just is full of emotion. And I love that.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 basically, Dorit's, you know, we see why she's mad because she made this rumor about her, which Kyle did it, which we'll get to later.

Speaker 1 But Dorit was perpetuating this rumor and saying, Sutton's a drinker. She's somebody I would not be surprised if she pours a little vodka in the coffee in the morning.

Speaker 1 Which wasn't nice to say. But would any of us be surprised if she poured a little vodka in her?

Speaker 1 I wouldn't.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 So Sutton's like, well, I understand what she's doing, and I understand her insinuation completely, and she is not that clever. So Jennifer's like, so what did you say in response?

Speaker 2 And you're such a fucking bitch, Camille.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. So then you just left.
Well, I didn't just leave. I did sort of like plunge right into the kitchen island.
I mean, I was seeing all sorts of things. It was a lot.
It was a very strong drink.

Speaker 2 But then I eventually got out of there.

Speaker 1 The last person who called me a bitch in my own home was an employee, and at least she had the decency to do it in Thai ish. Taiwanese.

Speaker 2 Thaiish Winese.

Speaker 1 Taish Winesee.

Speaker 2 So Jennifer asks if Suttons talked to Dareed, and she's like, no.

Speaker 2 So the first time you're going to see her is at my caviar caftan party. And she's like, yes, at your beautiful caviar caftan party.
I say, oh, I guess we'll see how that goes.

Speaker 1 So we go to Kyle's house, and there's another rot, there's another break-in.

Speaker 1 It is the treehouse house.

Speaker 1 There's been another break-in and then Ceno, you guys. And

Speaker 1 it's the dollhouse, the treehouse.

Speaker 2 It's this dollhouse in the backyard. And the doors, Kyle's like, why is this door open? Who went in here? And we see there's like disarray, everything.
Here's a bigger question.

Speaker 2 Why do you still have this thing in your backyard? Your children are like 16. What's happening in there?

Speaker 1 And why is PK cooking a pretend pancake?

Speaker 2 And why are there so many printouts of memes on the walls

Speaker 1 all right sorry i left the door open yanuve told me not to do that babe

Speaker 1 pk

Speaker 2 I this honestly, I didn't know what I was more annoyed by. The fact that we're seeing another scene of Kyle running after her dogs or the fact that she had this miniature cottage.

Speaker 2 Like the cottage really annoyed me.

Speaker 1 Like, why is this?

Speaker 2 Why do you have this miniature cottage?

Speaker 2 Why does this exist on your property? This doesn't make any sense. This is stupid.

Speaker 1 But I think the kids were too old for that even when they moved in, right?

Speaker 1 Because they haven't lived there since Portia was like a little kid. They moved in there when she was a teenager.
It's like Portia. It's just go in there, Porsche.

Speaker 2 You know, in a household full of stupid objects, i.e. the neon art in her, in her foyer,

Speaker 2 this is probably the stupidest thing on Kyle's property, this stupid cottage.

Speaker 1 Fucking burn it to the ground.

Speaker 1 So she's blaming Storm for it. You know, Storm gets a lot of blame in this family.
What does Storm ever do? And then they cut to Storm and he's just looking at her like, fucking change it.

Speaker 1 Good luck. Ooh, I'm so scared.

Speaker 2 Storm's like, you won't give me a doghouse, but you have a cottage for some invisible child that's going to come in here someday.

Speaker 1 Grow up. He's like, sorry, I'm still not jiggy, mother.

Speaker 1 Like, peas on the dollhouse.

Speaker 2 Storm definitely had like a melodramatic 1970s movie moment. There's like, oh yeah, I like smoke a cigarette.

Speaker 2 She's knocking everything off the counters of the cottage.

Speaker 1 She's like, wait a minute,

Speaker 1 what is my mother's ring doing in here? This was stolen five years ago. Storm's like, God damn, she finally came in here.
He's got all of her old stolen Birkins in there.

Speaker 1 It's been Storm this whole time.

Speaker 2 It would be very Kyle if like all her, all her robbed stuff was just in the backyard in that stupid cottage.

Speaker 2 No one went into because there was never any need for anyone to go into because everyone aged out of it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it is kind of creepy to have that back there. So

Speaker 1 now somebody comes over. And let me tell you, I've the last Jamie that I saw

Speaker 1 come to Kyle's house was Jamie Leo Curtis and she didn't look that excited. Like she was like really trying to work herself up for it.
This guy looks miserable. This Jamie, he's like, oh God,

Speaker 1 I have to go to fucking Kyle's house today. He's like, hi.
He's like twitching and like scratching. He's like, hey, I was just sleeping in my car.

Speaker 1 What do you need me for?

Speaker 2 She's like, well, I just, I feel, I felt so unrelaxed. I have to take a breath.
He's like, okay, take a breath. Okay, more space.
How's it feeling?

Speaker 2 Well, I felt really weird in the beginning, but like I'm getting used to it.

Speaker 2 And it's just like, it's been like really quiet lately because Porsche's in Europe and like I don't know how to turn on the music. So it's just like really, really quiet.

Speaker 2 And it's really cold in here because I haven't been able to figure out how to close the French door. So cold, no music, bugs coming in.
It's really bad in here.

Speaker 1 Here's the thing, life coach Dr. slash Jamie Lee Curtis.

Speaker 1 The girls have been saying I don't share anything on camera. So I brought you over to share a bunch of manufactured stuff.
So please have a seat.

Speaker 1 I'm very lonely because Mauricio is out living his best life and traveling all over and having fun. And I'm stuck here.

Speaker 1 Kyle, you're traveling all over the world living your best life too with Morgan Wade. We see the pictures that you pay for in every fucking magazine that you pay to get them in.

Speaker 1 So stop pretending you're just stuck there with like a Ross dress for less, not even close.

Speaker 2 Kyle, you just went to Augusta, Georgia.

Speaker 1 Okay. That's

Speaker 1 beautiful.

Speaker 2 You just went to a very small airport.

Speaker 1 You just got to. eat it.
What was a family restaurant called? I forgot.

Speaker 1 It's called Eat It.

Speaker 1 Eat it. Eat it.
I eat it.

Speaker 2 But in Augusta.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 2 Kyle's like, I mean, like, it was the first summer. I mean, the fact that he took Porsche alone, I've never been away from Porsche like that.
And then he's like, gonna go and do like a guys trip.

Speaker 2 And he like goes and lives his life.

Speaker 1 And he's just like having fun. And it's just like,

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 2 Like, does Kyle just not know how to book herself an airplane ticket?

Speaker 1 You know, like, yeah, she does because she travels all over the place. Now, part of this was sad, you know, because Kyle's always made me crazy, but I fall for it.

Speaker 1 You know, I'm very easily manipulated. And even though I think Kyle's full of it and faking most of the stuff she does, I'm still like, oh, this is so sad.

Speaker 1 And, you know, I kind of felt bad that she's lonely. And she's, and then I remember that she's got a really hot girlfriend and kind of kicked her husband out.
So what do you want me to say?

Speaker 2 She did.

Speaker 2 She did. She did do that.
Now, the other thing is that, like, what the real story here is, Kyle is saying, okay, we have to work on our images, right? Like, like, a divorce is not just a divorce.

Speaker 2 When you're in the public eye, it's like, it's also a battle of public relations. And her public relations, like, her angle is, I'm just home and I'm alone.

Speaker 2 And I'm just trying to, like, because people think that she cheated, right? People think she cheated and she cheated with Morgan Wade.

Speaker 2 So she's just going to be like the healing and working on myself, doing that whole thing. And he's just like, woo, skiing, banging hot girls, going to parties, going off to the Riviera.

Speaker 2 And she's like, this isn't right because I have to do the sad thing for my, for my public image. And he gets to do all the party stuff.
Like, I want to do the party stuff too.

Speaker 2 I'm liberated from this guy. I get to live my best lesbian life now.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's, that's true. She should be able to be living her best life.

Speaker 1 And it also sucks because, you know, while I do believe that she probably was cheating or whatever with Morgan, I also believe the stuff about Mauricio, you know, DMing people on Instagram and all that stuff.

Speaker 1 So I don't believe that she's like, I don't believe that he's some victim in all of this. You know, I totally.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And I believe there's stuff where she's like, I needed him and he's not around.
Like I do, you know, I feel for her, I guess, and all of that stuff. But

Speaker 1 I also believe that you never tell a man who you think is cheating. You know what you should take? Some space.

Speaker 1 No, it's not what you say. You, you cut, you change all the pin numbers on all of the, on all of the bank accounts and you get everything frozen.
You don't just say, go, go.

Speaker 1 Listen, any man who is worth what, what are they worth? Like tens of millions of dollars at this point after the agency. I mean, they're rich, rich.

Speaker 1 You never tell a man with a new lease on life because he's newly rich, rich to just go explore and have fun. No, it's not what you do.
Tie him down, break his kneecaps. That's what you do.

Speaker 1 You find out that man's been DMing people on the Instagram, break his kneecaps. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Kyle is just like, I want to be out there. I want to party, but if I do that, everyone's going to get mad at me.
So that sucks. And

Speaker 1 she's just pretending on the show that she's not doing that, I guess, because she's she's kind of grounded on the show because they're shooting right now.

Speaker 1 But she's the one who puts out all these pictures of herself partying all the time and going all over the place with Morgan. So, I'm not believing her.
Like, I don't even leave town.

Speaker 1 I'm just working so hard on you know all that stuff that I'm doing. You know, I'm doing a film version of Kyle by Shahida, and you know, it's been really, really rough.

Speaker 2 Origin story, okay? It's called Kyle Leah Perez.

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Speaker 2 So Jamie is like, she's like, well, why can't you live your best life too? She's like, I can, but there's like a little part of me that says, like, you know, like, I move on.

Speaker 1 What happens if I move on with somebody new? And then, like, what if he's like, okay, I went and sold my wild oats or like, whatever that expression is,

Speaker 2 and, you know, and he wants to come back.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Why would you take back someone who says, woo, I just sold my wild oats. Okay, I'm back to you.
Back to the old, the old reliable Pontiac, 1983 Pontiac.

Speaker 2 No, if someone said that, like, oh, sorry, I went and sowed my wild oats. Now let's get back together.
Like, yeah, well, guess what? Keep sowing your wild oats.

Speaker 2 Go, go see where those, how those wild oats grow because you, you just, you lost this harvest if we're going to continue our farming metaphor.

Speaker 1 I'm going to squeeze those oats until they're oat milk, but I'm going to throw it in your face, you son of a bitch. But I can see why she'd be sad.
Look, I think she's been with him for a long time.

Speaker 1 That was the love of her life. She never thought this would happen.
And then she was like, fine, you're not there for me. Then move out, hoping that he would kind of, you know, be like, no, babe.

Speaker 1 And she says that in this scene where she's like, he never fought for me, you know? Like, he just acted like everything would eventually be fine.

Speaker 1 Like I was just going through through something and it would all be fine. And so I think that he did think that.
And she thought, well, fine. He's not reacting.

Speaker 1 So I'll give him something to react about. Get the fuck out and do whatever you want.
We're separated. See how you like that? And he's like, party.
Party. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You mean I can go fuck whoever I want, get my own place and still not lose all of my money in a divorce? And I'm not the bad guy.

Speaker 2 Yeah. And that's what I'm saying.
Like, don't hold out hope that he'll, he, like, don't, don't pause, put your life on pause in, in hopes that he might say, okay, I'm done sowing my wild oats.

Speaker 2 I'm coming back to you. You don't want that.
You don't want someone who, like, you want someone who wants you, like, you want those oats to have been sown.

Speaker 2 Those oats, those oats should have been growing for 20 years back when he sowed them in like 1995, you know?

Speaker 2 So you don't want him to have to go off and have a midlife crisis and be like, oh, you know what? Actually, I do like you.

Speaker 1 Like, no,

Speaker 2 don't, don't relinquish your power that way.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think that she's just, you know, lonely. I get it.
you know, I mean, I don't get it in a way that I've ever lived it, but like, I get what she's talking about.

Speaker 1 I can see, see how she would be sad and stuff. And a lot of it, too, is just everybody bugging her, you know, because what she's really saying in this is like,

Speaker 1 I'm fine, but people keep bugging me and telling me I need to get divorced. I need to do that.
So like, do I need to take action? No, you don't need to take action. You're like, you're fine.

Speaker 1 If you're fine with how things are going, don't take action just because other people are telling you to take action.

Speaker 1 You know, I mean, if it works for you, there's so many different kinds of marriages. And I don't know if it's just being gay, but I don't know.

Speaker 1 I know a lot of couples like this who are like best friends and they still live together, but they, you know, do whatever they want kind of at the same time. They have their own independent lives too.

Speaker 1 So I don't know. Maybe that could work, but don't feel the pressure.

Speaker 2 I don't think that's what she wants.

Speaker 2 I don't think she wants that.

Speaker 2 Listen, I think also, like, I still firmly believe that like the root of all this was that Kyle went through like really rough tragedy last year and Mauricio was not available to her the way that she needed him to be available.

Speaker 2 And that caused a rift. And I think it's probably really hard when the person that you love is not there for you when you need them the most.
And then

Speaker 2 they go off and they just party and they have a great time. And then you start to realize like, oh shit, like.
Did I ever mean anything to this person?

Speaker 2 And I think that's probably what she's going through right now. And she should just move on.
Move on and like live your best life is what I'm saying to her.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Just keep annoying us in your life.
Just annoy us.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 full throttle, you know, full-voiced, annoying way.

Speaker 1 You know, yeah, but we knew when they were doing that gun range thing a few episodes ago, when she got up there to sit next to him and he immediately jumped off that bench.

Speaker 1 I was like, oh no, he's dating.

Speaker 2 She like went into the gun range. He like was.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he's like, I'm not pissing. I've pissed off Kyle already.
I'm not also going to piss off my girlfriend. Like, what kind of idiot do I look like?

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 1 yeah, that was just. So that's that.
So she's like, I don't know what what I want. Do I want to move on or do I not want to move on? And the therapist is like, I know this much.
I want to move on.

Speaker 1 He's like, I got a pillow in my car. I'm going to go back and sleep in that.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Also, it's been 20 years and I need to broach something with you, which is my name is not Jamie. My name is actually Curtis, Curtis Lee Jamie.
Yeah, it's been really annoying.

Speaker 1 So let's go over to Boza's home.

Speaker 1 Cutting flowers for you. She's cutting yellow roses.
And she's like, this is why we've got Floris. Take me.
Tall like me.

Speaker 1 i love a tall flower me and my future babies i mean me and keely's future babies

Speaker 2 a ding dong ding dong ding dong that's her that's her doorbell and she's like oh someone is here

Speaker 2 and it's uh dr cindy duke she's a fertility expert so she comes in and bose is like well i've actually been a little nervous but we're going to talk about it dr cindy duke welcome welcome to my talk show come to the bose's living room talk show We're going to sit down and talk about babies.

Speaker 2 So she says that Dr. Cindy is a leading fertility specialist.
They call her the baby doctor. She says, I think she's a magician.

Speaker 1 On the nose. It's a little like

Speaker 2 are most fertility people called baby doctors.

Speaker 1 I mean, it's kind of on the nose, but it's also confusing in the same way because, like, if you had a sick baby, you'd be like, oh my God, call a baby doctor.

Speaker 1 And so your dumb husband's just googling and finds baby doctor and you get there. And she's like, I only count eggs.
So.

Speaker 2 or maybe she just like got her degree when she was really young like 18 months she's a genius she's a baby doctor like remember boss baby baby doctor

Speaker 1 she's like stat mama stat

Speaker 2 So she's like, do you want to set up in my bedroom? Would that be a good idea? And so there's like this little, there's this guy, this quiet man who just like goes upstairs to set up something.

Speaker 2 And she basically says, well, this baby doctor brought her whole team. She brought her equipment.

Speaker 1 She brought her baby rattle.

Speaker 2 And she,

Speaker 2 because I simply need my services in my home. I mean, my nail person comes to my house.
My hair stylist comes to my house. My on-staff bedazzler comes to my house.

Speaker 2 Heck, even my waxer comes to my house. So why would I not have my fraternity doctor?

Speaker 1 Like, well,

Speaker 2 because I feel like you should go to a medical office, but that's okay. If they're willing to, listen, when you're rich in Los Angeles, they will bring everything to your house.

Speaker 2 That's one thing that we have learned over the years.

Speaker 1 Yeah, but also, I think like it's glamorous to not do everything in your house. It's glamorous to like go get services.
Like who wants a waxer in their house? I don't want that like smell in my house.

Speaker 1 It's smelly. And then you get like little hairs left everywhere.
I don't know. I feel like for this, you should go somewhere sterile.

Speaker 2 You know, it also like teeters a little bit into Miss Haversham territory. Like at certain points, like step outside the house.

Speaker 1 Yeah, go outside. Yeah, exactly.
Go outside. I don't need my hoo-ha work done in my house.
I barely want to look at that thing. Get, you know, get someone else to do it outside of the house.

Speaker 1 Then I can go home and pretend it never happened. You know,

Speaker 1 I need work done. Like, Like, I don't want to look at that thing.
Just do it outside the house and I can come home and just, I don't know. I'm like, I never got that stuff done.

Speaker 1 What are you guys talking about?

Speaker 2 I, um, to sort of, uh, to echo what you just said about the little hairs, there was one time where my barber had left his barbershop.

Speaker 2 And so he was doing house calls instead because he didn't have a new barbershop yet.

Speaker 1 So I was like, cool, actually, this is great because I don't have to go anywhere.

Speaker 2 So we showed up. And then like, we like, he cut my hair in like the kitchen because there was tile.
There was hair everywhere, even with like a little blanket down. It was awful.

Speaker 2 Like some things should not be in the house. I know that a lot of people get their hair cut in their home.
Like that's a thing, like especially barbers come to their homes. But it's messy.
It's messy.

Speaker 2 Those little hairs, they find a way to get everywhere.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they really do.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 she doesn't care. I believe she's going to get it in her house.
She's like, I get a car wash in my living room. What are you going to do? I can afford it.

Speaker 1 Well, Dr.

Speaker 2 Cindy Duke, you'll meet Killy very soon. He's on his way in.
Okay. Hello, Eyes up here.
Stop playing with that tower of rings over there. Okay, thank you.

Speaker 2 We're thinking about starting a family together. And you know, we're both very mature.
I'm 47. He's 48.
And I've been pregnant twice. I've lost my first daughter.

Speaker 2 And I had complications when she was born preterm. And Leah, my living daughter, was also preterm.
So I am nervous.

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 you know, she's talking about how it's scary, but it's especially scary at this age and stuff. And then Dr.
Cindy's like, do you have any peas to go with my mashed bananas? Because

Speaker 1 it was a long flight.

Speaker 2 Dr. Cindy's like, before we go any further,

Speaker 2 I have on my schedule here that at 1.12, a plane is supposed to be coming into the hangar. Okay.
And the hangar is ready for the plane. So

Speaker 2 my mouth is open wide.

Speaker 1 So Keely comes over and.

Speaker 1 you know, they make niceties. And Buzz is like, well, here's what I need to know today.
Are there eggs up in there? Are there eggs? And are they up in there? Tell me about them. How many are there?

Speaker 1 Are any of them talented?

Speaker 1 Do any of them show business acumen? Get on.

Speaker 2 Have any of the eggs created a PowerPoint for this experience? So, Dr. Cindy is like, well, as we age and as we cross 40, which as we know is 30.

Speaker 1 Bored, bored, faster, faster, bored, bored, losing my interest.

Speaker 2 Okay, well, you know, eggs.

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 2 Not a lot of eggs. Odds are low, but not zero.
You're probably not pregnant. I don't know.
What do you want me to do?

Speaker 1 Great. I'm having five children.
Thank you. Thank you for coming over.

Speaker 1 So basically, she does this thing where she puts the sonogram. I don't know.

Speaker 2 She puts the sonogram. This does an ultrasound.
And then

Speaker 2 ultrasound. She's like, now look over here.
This dark circle is an egg house. One, two, three, four.
Please stop playing patty cake on my stomach.

Speaker 2 Sorry, it's just a habit.

Speaker 1 Wow, I've got four eggs. Do you know how expensive those things are now? I'm rich.
I'm rich.

Speaker 2 Now, can you please tell me about these egg houses? Are they mid-century modern? Are they colonial? I have a certain style that I'm going for.

Speaker 1 Else is four. No.
Tell them this. I'm coming for you.
And I've got wallpaper.

Speaker 2 So she has egg houses and she's excited because she's got like four

Speaker 1 eggs per house or something. And you're, you know, usually you only get zero eggs and so she's like yes four eggs we're doing it

Speaker 2 all right but now before we go any further let's talk about Keely let's talk about our egg houses house number one it was a little bit over budget but I did love the view egg house number two it was close to my work but you know that noise from the traffic it was too close to the main road and house number three

Speaker 2 it was it was nice but I didn't like the kitchen what do you think Keely

Speaker 2 He's like, whatever you want.

Speaker 1 And she's like, okay, doctor, thank you for coming over. Why aren't you getting up?

Speaker 1 I pooped myself. God damn it.

Speaker 2 Why do we keep hiring these baby doctors?

Speaker 2 So now we go to Kyle and she's getting ready with Glam for caftans and caviar. And she's like, caftans and caviar, all that's missing is the yacht.

Speaker 2 And the glam person's like, quiet luxury, which to be fair, they probably say that with everything. Like, guys, did you guys, did you guys see the latest episode of White Lotus? Quiet luxury.

Speaker 2 Actually, that's an appropriate use of saying quiet quiet luxury.

Speaker 1 Quiet luxury.

Speaker 1 I just know that Shahida's somewhere like fuming watching this episode. Like, oh, now she's willing to promote caftans.

Speaker 1 Great, great, Kyle. Thanks.

Speaker 1 So then over at Dorit's house, she's also getting her glam done and they are doing that stuff on your nose, that contouring stuff.

Speaker 1 I'm like, are you purposely getting a carrot for a nose? Why is your nose a pencil?

Speaker 1 Darrow nose.

Speaker 1 why are you shaping your nose like that it looks cray cray

Speaker 2 so they're like hey dari so what are you doing today where are you going she's like oh so jennifer tilley she's hosting all the ladies at caveat caspia they're like oh my god fun quiet luxury

Speaker 1 wow quiet very quiet exhausting quiet luxury

Speaker 1 um so then she's like i'm just not looking for conflict right now it's what i'm not looking for i can't wait till five percent

Speaker 1 Does anybody have bottles of alcohol I can take in?

Speaker 2 Meanwhile, over at Sutton's house, she's talking to her glam team and she goes, well, Jennifer and I have been going to Caviar Caspia for a long, long time.

Speaker 2 And we see a photo of them going there in 2020. And she says, Caviar Caspia is best known for its twice-baked potato that has a ton of caviar on top.
And then we see her with a potato.

Speaker 2 So one of the few ways you can get

Speaker 2 people on Beverly Hills to eat carbs is by loading caviar on top.

Speaker 2 I prefer the Osestra, but the most expensive one, but somebody like Poor Rit would get the cheapest one, which would be one of the red row caviar that you get on top of sushi sometimes.

Speaker 2 You know, not even the good sushi, like the sushi stop sushi. You know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. You get the most expensive one.
Wow. That's so impressive.

Speaker 1 Poor Rit would get the cheapest one.

Speaker 1 Poor Rit.

Speaker 2 I don't mind it. I don't mind Poor Rit.
I like it. Even though I, too, enjoy that sushi row, I am here for the Poor Pourite shading.

Speaker 2 I like a good wordplay.

Speaker 1 Hello there. This is a two-part recap.
Okay. This is the end of part one.
So thank you so much for listening to this. Just come back a little later for part two.

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Speaker 7 Picture this.

Speaker 5 You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange. The horizon doesn't look right.
At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.

Speaker 5 Then, the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all.

Speaker 1 It's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water.

Speaker 5 And it's racing straight toward you. On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami.

Speaker 5 It struck Thailand without warning. No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation.
In this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history.

Speaker 5 through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive. Follow Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 5 You can binge all episodes of Against the Odds Tsunami in Thailand early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.