#2739 Southern Hospitality S03E08: Weiner Takes All

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Speaker 2 Watch what crappiness.

Speaker 2 Watch what craft is. Who cares what happens? But there's so much good crap.

Speaker 2 Hello and welcome to Walter Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we'd love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and adorable Ronnie Carom.

Speaker 2 Hi, Ronnie. How are you?

Speaker 1 Hi, how are y'all?

Speaker 2 Great, thank you. We are going to recap southern hospitality.

Speaker 2 Before we dive into that, we are going to be engaging in some Southern hospitality when we go to such cities as Charlotte, North Carolina, which is often referenced on this show and Southern Charm.

Speaker 2 We'll be going there as part of the Mounting Historia Historia Hysteria tour, which is going to resume in mid-March. We are going to a whole bunch of cities.

Speaker 2 We are going to kick things off in Cincinnati. We'll be going to Charlotte.
We'll be going to Atlanta. We'll be going to Minneapolis, tons of places, Philadelphia, D.C.

Speaker 2 Check out the full schedule at watchworkcrappins.com.

Speaker 2 We are probably going to be going to a city near you. So we'd love to see your face.

Speaker 2 And also be sure to check out patreon.com slash watchworkrappens to get access to our weekly bonus episode. We are recapping the traders.

Speaker 2 You can listen to that if you're as obsessed with the traders as we are.

Speaker 2 There's also crap is on demand where you can watch us instead of just listening to us. So Patreon really gives you a whole suite of fun things to do.

Speaker 2 And there's a great community over there as well, as well as our Discord, etc.

Speaker 2 So, to that end, everything you can find, anything you would need would be at watchokrappins.com. One thing we do not have at watchocrappins.com, though, are hot dogs.

Speaker 2 Luckily, if you want a hot dog, you apparently can go to Republic Bar and Grill and Club and Hot Dog Cart because that's what they have there.

Speaker 2 That's what this whole episode is about: opening up selling hot dogs.

Speaker 1 I'll get you some wieners at Sir Wieners, y'all.

Speaker 1 Sir Wieners.

Speaker 1 This is season three, episode eight. Wieners and losers.

Speaker 1 We see overhead shots of Charlotte. And then we go to Michael's house and he's unloading his dryer and his shorts got stuck.
So he's untwirling his shorts.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he's like, oh my God, I cannot believe this happened. My shorts are totally stuck to my dryer.
This is,

Speaker 2 I'm like literally freaking out right now.

Speaker 1 I'm traumatized.

Speaker 1 And then we go to TJ's and he's unloading Sir Wiener's merch from boxes and vacuuming it, vacuuming each piece as it comes out. And then we go to Elite Fitness, where Brad is being very motivating.

Speaker 1 He's like, guys, do push-ups.

Speaker 2 It's funny using the word elite with anyone from this cast.

Speaker 2 And then we have the

Speaker 2 music keeps going. And it's like, and I can't believe this is happening to me

Speaker 2 and it's lake driving i can't believe it someone's driving uh and she calls her mom jerry and and this is the theme for the first uh 20 minutes this episode her mom says she's like oh hey honey how's your day going i'm tired And this is what every single cast member says for the next 20 minutes.

Speaker 1 I'm tired.

Speaker 2 Are you hydrating? Yeah, to the best of my ability.

Speaker 2 We've seen Lake.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So then we go to Emmy's apartment.
Well, I mean, so far, you know, strawstrings and hydration. So then we go to Emmy's and they're eating takeout

Speaker 1 very

Speaker 1 insanely because it's Emmy. So she's like,

Speaker 1 how was your day? How was your day? Oh my God. He's like, I'm exhausted because like I've been at work.
I'm working. Like I'm a lawyer.

Speaker 1 So like, I don't know if you've noticed, but I have a highlighter. So

Speaker 1 pretty big deal. It's a lot of responsibility.

Speaker 2 Yeah. You may notice I have a tie that I got from Van Heusen.
So I've been working lawyer stuff, you know? She's, oh, that's right. I slept till 4 p.m.
today. You slept till 4?

Speaker 2 Yeah, I slept for 15 hours. Well, I actually spent 12 those hours just crying, but that counts asleep, right? Yeah, well, not sure.

Speaker 1 I was just geeked out of my mind for the past four months. So yeah, I mean, 15 hours really isn't that much.
But

Speaker 2 so what's up with you?

Speaker 1 And he's like, did you not hear me talk about a highlighter? I mean, I could use 15 hours. I work.
I'm a lawyer. And she's like, oh, yeah, I'm still recovering from Vegas.

Speaker 1 You know, I mean, baby, you had to deal with everyone's bullshit. You poor guy.
That's like so hard. I was like, what are people following me to the bathroom now?

Speaker 1 I'm thinking, we'll get a break. He's a lawyer.

Speaker 2 He's also being bullied by the biggest bully in law school. It's like a lot for him right now.
Yeah. But at breakfast, we talked about like a lot of stuff and like worked through like the big issues.

Speaker 2 And at this point, like, I kind of just want to like brush under the rug and like just go back to being friends, you know, because brushing things under the rug has worked out so well, so well in our relationship.

Speaker 1 She's she's like yeah well like i appreciate like tj and will because like you know tj's like tried to have an independent relationship like with you and with me but like i can't like have a relationship with him if he's like coming for my man you know what i mean so like if it's not gonna be worked out with you it's not gonna be worked out with me i mean that's just it i stand by my man that's it you are not having sex with the people in the bathrooms i'm so sick of hearing it

Speaker 2 Anyway, maybe if we just deflect onto another couple, then people won't bother us anymore. So let's talk about Maddie and Joe, okay?

Speaker 2 Because like, I think that like Maddie is freaking the fuck out from that wedding.

Speaker 2 Yeah, she's freaking the fuck out. And then we go to Maddie's house and Joe and Maddie are in bed.
And Joe's like,

Speaker 2 oh my God, I'm so tired.

Speaker 1 Every scene. You're right.
Every scene. I didn't even notice that at first, but you're right.
Everybody's like, I'm so tired. And Maddie goes, My back hurts.
Oh, your back hurts. Yeah.

Speaker 2 From putting up with me?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'll give you a massage.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So then

Speaker 1 he's like, yeah,

Speaker 1 like, I can give you a massage, Mal, because look, we're married.

Speaker 2 I can't believe you're my wife.

Speaker 1 Sorry.

Speaker 2 I can't believe we're back in Charleston. Sorry.
It was me who said that. Thanks for saying my line for me, Joe.
No problem. You're my wife.
I'll always say your lines for you. Thanks.

Speaker 1 So what do I got to do this week, Joe? I'm like, what's on my iCal? And he's like, um, be my wife.

Speaker 1 So then Maddie's like, um, this wedding isn't real, but I think that Joe Bradley thinks that it's real.

Speaker 1 So, and then we cut back and she's like, uh, get out of the bed so I can make it. And he goes, yeah, let's go, wife.

Speaker 2 The wedding was like for, it was, for fun.

Speaker 1 And like, it was like all for like the LO fucking L's.

Speaker 2 And I don't think it was serious. But then we see Maddie and like we see Joe though, like

Speaker 1 staring at her through the mirror. Because, you know, they're brushing their teeth together and he's doing that thing where he's like staring at her through the mirror and she's like

Speaker 1 just trying to brush my teeth joe oh you know what by the way joe you know what really fucking bothers me when you shave your face and you get little hairs everywhere you really fucked up joe and he's like yeah like we work through it because that's what like married people do yeah yeah every time every time there's like a little like whisker in the sink think of it as like a love letter to my wife okay whatever vacation's over but maybe not for joe uh so we need to go like

Speaker 1 we need to go like matching robes because we're like married now. She's like, oh, Jesus Christ, Joe.
I swear to fucking God.

Speaker 1 So then we go back to Emmy's and she's like, the crazy part is when me and Maddie got back from playing Blackjack, Joe was like so pissed at us.

Speaker 1 Uh-oh.

Speaker 1 And again, the camera crew was in bed. Hi.

Speaker 1 You're on a TV show. You need to be awake in Vegas.
Well, they can't film at the Blackjack table, but you can't do it. But producers when they're coming home from Blackjack.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly. So after Joe and Maddie's wedding, we partied till around like 3 a.m.
And then like we see them taking shots and stuff.

Speaker 2 And then Maddie says, and then Joe, Joe is like, I'm a little too fucked up. I don't feel well.
So then Emmy, then Emmy tells the rest of the story.

Speaker 2 And she's like, so then we went to the casino and we stayed until like five in the morning. And then we got to the room and Joe was like very upset.
And he was like pissed.

Speaker 2 He was like, you've just been like down here gambling and left me alone on our wedding night. And Joe's like, yeah.

Speaker 2 I was like, ready to go home and have like a romantic night and like our honeymoon suite. And like I get laid most other nights.
Like, how do I not get laid on our actual wedding night?

Speaker 2 Like, what the fuck?

Speaker 1 It's not our actual wedding night, Joe. Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 So he's like, yeah, but I ordered all this room service, like steak, caviar, lobster.

Speaker 1 And Emmy's like, oh, my God. He even goes, I ordered you a gluten-free BLT.

Speaker 1 Has Will ever done that for you? Like, I get it. And I like, I like Emmy for the most part, but girl, she's talking to Will.
What has Will ever done for you?

Speaker 2 He's ordered her a boyfriend for a BLT. So then Emmy is like, I mean, Maddie was like, this isn't our real fucking wedding night.

Speaker 2 And Joe was like, well, would you actually leave me alone on our own real wedding night? And then Maddie goes, well, would you actually get that this fucked up on our real wedding night?

Speaker 2 And Will's like, ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah.
Sometimes I worry that I sometimes I'm worried that Maddie loves the idea of Joe more than Joe. I mean, it's not like she's marrying a lawyer.

Speaker 2 It's going to have kids with him probably maybe next year.

Speaker 1 I mean, like, it's totally different. Like, I'm in love with, like, the idea of you, you know, because it's like you.
Like, I'm a lawyer's wife. It's totally different.
Like, Maddie is pathetic.

Speaker 1 Like, you.

Speaker 1 My God, objection. I can say that as a lawyer's wife, right?

Speaker 1 How is

Speaker 1 Emmy saying, I worry that Maddie loves the idea of Joe. Girl, you love the idea of what Will could be so much that you're letting him fuck other people in bathrooms and not even arguing about it.

Speaker 1 Like, there was a whole new rumor of him fucking people in bathrooms. You notice questioning him?

Speaker 2 He can't, he can't even go into a cooler safely now without rumors popping up.

Speaker 2 But I have to say that, like, if you are going to fall in love with the idea of something, I do think falling in love with the idea of a uh like someone who has a successful career is better than falling in love with the idea of whatever Joey Marples is gonna do.

Speaker 2 Because I don't know what Joey Marples is gonna do.

Speaker 1 Uh, sorry, but it can be described in uh three words:

Speaker 1 Food mouth.

Speaker 2 Food and mouth. Food mouth.

Speaker 2 So Will's like, yeah, maybe it's like going like, it's like getting like too real, like too quack.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So then we go to the Republic backroom and everyone's gathering for their night shifts and Michaels and Lake sit next to each other and Lake is like, how are you feeling after Vegas?

Speaker 2 And he goes, good. I'm just like a little tired.

Speaker 2 And I'd like to point out our note-taker Chandler says, six minutes into this episode, we we have three I'm tired and one I'm exhausted from this cast. So

Speaker 2 it's been noted by both of us.

Speaker 1 So, like, I had so much fun in Vegas. I had a hot hookup with Artist Man and I had a hot makeout with Brad.

Speaker 1 And now it's like time to close the box and put it in a closet and never like open it again because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except syphilis.
I don't even know how that thing caught on.

Speaker 1 What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Nothing I've ever done in Vegas has stayed in Vegas.
I'm still ashamed about it all the damn time.

Speaker 2 I feel like Vegas is actually deeply consequential to people. Weddings, it really is.

Speaker 1 Gambling debts, STDs, Nicholas Casey, broken niggas, and Elizabeth Shu had to watch it, and we all know about it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 She never let. Did she even get to leave Las Vegas?

Speaker 1 I guess maybe

Speaker 1 she did. Did she? I don't think she did on the toilet in Las Vegas.
We all know about that.

Speaker 2 No one gets to live. No one gets to leave Las Vegas.
No one does.

Speaker 1 Not even Steve Wynne.

Speaker 1 more like steve lose yeah so then we go to the republic everybody's working and so joe's like oh my god i'm still recovering from vegas it's like harder to recover when you're a husband and brad's like yeah uh i had to work when we get back when we got back do you know how hard it is being like push push it's like elite level bro he's like yeah i respect the out of you for that bro I say this as one married man to a single man.

Speaker 2 So Michaels is like, I like to say that Republic runs itself, but like, unfortunately, when I'm gone, Republic is like not running itself.

Speaker 2 Like when we were in Vegas, I did, I did end up opening my email like a bunch of times. And like the ship definitely tends to sink when I'm not there.

Speaker 2 Like there's no one outside on the sidewalk saying, come on, come on, come on in, come on in, come on in, come on in, come on, come on, come on,

Speaker 2 so it's like really, really hard. But like when I was away, I missed it.
I felt like they're like my little children, even though they're all older than me.

Speaker 2 I mean, after all, I'm the bitch that runs the bitches that they think that runs the bitch because the bitch is on the run and the bitch is going to run. It's like, you you need to relax.

Speaker 2 Sorry, I'm like freaking out a little bit.

Speaker 1 Guys, I wonder what Love is doing. Oh, God.
I hope she doesn't get more than 30 seconds today. Here she comes.
She's like, Michaels is definitely a unicorn. Like, he's so eyes beyond his ears.

Speaker 1 No one on the team can do what Michaels does. Cut to Leah CEO, like cutting her kneecaps slowly in anger.
Just being like, how dare you?

Speaker 2 No one can do what Michaels does. Cut to the Cloris Leechman waitress who's like, everyone, I'm going to pick up this napkin.

Speaker 1 Ah, I just broke my arm. God, it really is hard what he does.
It's like, hey, I, hey, I, I'm in charge tonight. How many peas are in happy?

Speaker 1 Anybody remember?

Speaker 2 All right, everybody. Okay, everyone, I'm in charge.
Okay, I want someone standing by that door. I want someone standing by that table.
And I want someone to light that plant on fire.

Speaker 2 Oh, shit, that's the wrong thing to do.

Speaker 1 Oh, his job is so hard.

Speaker 1 Um, guys, uh, the happy birthday sign came out misspelled, and the eye, the dot was missing from on top of the eye. But when I went to wipe it off, it looked like there was Coke on there.

Speaker 1 Chloris Leechman, do you have anything to say about that? No.

Speaker 1 Spelling is subjective. That's what I see.

Speaker 2 You guys, I just got a report from Republic.

Speaker 2 This is what happens when I'm not there. I just found out that instead of walking out to celebrate someone's birthday with the big lit-up sign, they just were carrying a giant live grouper.

Speaker 2 That's just not acceptable. You can't do that.

Speaker 1 So, shots of work. Everybody's working, working, working, working.
And then we go to TJ and Mia,

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 she's like really hot. And he goes, Yeah.
But are you like Vega sweaty or aren't you in Charleston sweaty?

Speaker 2 She's like, Charleston sweaty. I missed it.

Speaker 2 So she talks that her apartment was like really like dusty and full of spiders and cobwebs while she was trying training to uh fail at miss usa or miss world actually miss world because she's in trinidad trinidad and tobago so molly meets up with them and uh they're all wearing pink and everything and tj's like i didn't get the pink memo but you know when people say that they're like joking but you can see with tj he's like

Speaker 2 wow it really is hard to be gay in the south you don't even get the pink memo when all the girls get together Molly's like, oh, we actually dressed pink to match your skin.

Speaker 1 So don't worry about it. You're totally on trend.

Speaker 1 So she's like, guys, I've been working non-stop because I'm also a wedding planner. So let's roll some footage of me like saying wedding planner things.

Speaker 2 It's been non-stop in the hectic world of wedding planner. She's like, guys, we cut to her being like, this is a good place to mat.

Speaker 1 She's like, here's a charger. To doily or not to doily? That is the question.
Am I right?

Speaker 2 What's the name of her company? It said something like Inspire events or something like that, or like Enigma events. She's like, yeah, I had to put a napkin on a table and see if someone liked it.

Speaker 2 It was really hard.

Speaker 1 mia's like um well tj is about to blow the up are you excited about that um tj did you have gluten now she means like um professionally because of stir wieners okay i'm really excited to put to get back the money that i put in like oh

Speaker 1 in just a couple of days is the launch of stir wieners i'll debut i'll be debuting my merch all the hot dogs my specialty cocktails it's like so much pressure what if i don't make my money back what if people don't buy merch what if people don't buy tickets to the event not one question of what if my hot dogs aren't good come on let's get our head in the game okay yeah why are you making merch so soon start selling hot dogs before the merch comes out come on no man like he's he's doing the merch because of something about her because that was the vanderpump rules thing they never even opened their restaurant and they made a quarter of a million dollars just on merch Yeah, but the difference is that like Ariana and Katie are established bravo liberties and in the center of like a pop culture breaking scandal that everyone wants to support them.

Speaker 2 TJ is just TJ. Now, I mean, I get it.

Speaker 1 Well, Joe cheated on TJ.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 2 But I'm married.

Speaker 2 I mean, I understand why he wants to have merch because he's on Bravo and he wants his friends to put on the hats so that they're wearing the hats during the scenes.

Speaker 1 I get it.

Speaker 2 But realistically,

Speaker 2 like, work on the hot dogs first. This, this strange new culinary concept of a hot dog.
Will they ever succeed? Will people like hot dogs?

Speaker 1 I don't know. That's untested.

Speaker 2 It's an untested food.

Speaker 1 Yeah, untested market. Will they like $20 hot dogs? That's the question.
How much are these hot dogs? I want to know. We're going to have one one day.

Speaker 1 I don't even like hot dogs, but I'm going to have one one day.

Speaker 2 I love hot dogs. And by the way, flash forward just a little bit, fucking Will saying he doesn't like hot dogs.
You know what? This is

Speaker 2 a piece of shit. Fucking hot dogs.

Speaker 2 It's the best part of going to Costco is getting the hot dog afterwards. Let's be honest.

Speaker 1 I'm a pescatarium, but even I, some of my best memories are 10 cent hot dog night at the Diablo's games in El Paso when I was a kid.

Speaker 1 Some of my best reason I would go to sports is so I could could get a 10 cent hot dog. Girl,

Speaker 2 I may have to have a hot dog for lunch all this, all this discussion. Like, I'm getting so hungry discussing them right now.
I'm like freaking out right now.

Speaker 1 But that's all this said. TJ sent us some Sir Wiener's merch.
Hello. He did? No, I'm saying TJ do it.

Speaker 2 Oh, I thought you said he did send us. Yeah, TJ, hook us up with some Sir Wieners.
I'll wear that shit on this

Speaker 2 crap is on demand. Yeah, come on.
We'll support you. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Fuck yeah. We just dissed your hot dog business, but we want the merch.
Send it to us.

Speaker 2 We don't like your business model, but we will happily model your business.

Speaker 1 I like his business model. I think it's smart.
I mean, look, he knows that his money is going to be coming from merch.

Speaker 1 That's what he's doing. So you go, boy.
Send us some free. Commercials.

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Speaker 1 So he's like, yeah, what if, what if people don't like it? So then he's like, wow, Sir Wiener's stuff is going well. But at our boys' brunch in Vegas, like, I got like an arrogance vibe from Will.

Speaker 1 So he was like, totally totally not, he was, I didn't get like wiener's vibe from Bill.

Speaker 2 It was not like very wiener forward, not wiener supportive. Um, you're only now just getting an arrogance vibe from Will.
It's been season three seasons already.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 so then we see at the at the boys' brunch, we see a hot dog tattoo on DJ's wrist because he got that. And Will goes, How long did that take? Like 10 minutes.

Speaker 2 Oh, and you still haven't even sold a single hot dog?

Speaker 1 Stupid, stupid.

Speaker 1 Whatever.

Speaker 1 Fucking highlighter behind your ear who's not a lawyer yet.

Speaker 2 I know. Shut up.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Shut up.

Speaker 1 Shut up, Matt Lock.

Speaker 2 So TJ is like, I just think that like he thinks that he's like better than me, you know?

Speaker 2 And he's like, after Vegas, I just feel like, Will, like, hasn't been completely honest with how he feels about me.

Speaker 2 And it's like sad because he was like a person that I like would call my best friend. But, you know, unfortunately,

Speaker 2 because he's my best friend. I have to hate him because that's what I do on this show.

Speaker 1 It's just weird. He wouldn't put a hot dog selling on the same level as lawyering.
It's like really offensive. So then back to the restaurant.

Speaker 1 Mia's like, well, I was talking to Emmy, and you know how she just doesn't want to hear it.

Speaker 1 Well, she said that Austin has it all twisted and that law school is they're bullies and that they're just creating rumors about each other to watch each other fail.

Speaker 1 And then we see the flashback where she's like, where Emmy's like, you guys,

Speaker 1 law school is different.

Speaker 1 Someone has a vendetta against Will. Like they compete against each other there.
It's like totally different, you guys. She goes, yeah, I know.
I've seen Legally Blonde. So

Speaker 2 yeah well will tell us the same thing

Speaker 2 and we see we see footage of will telling the guys the same thing he's got a bully like i'm just imagining again like a lawyer in a varsity jacket like shoving will into like a law school law like locker and yeah you think you're so hot with your highlighter behind your ear i'm telling everyone that you got laid with a hot chick in the bathroom

Speaker 2 so then molly tells us um the logic is missing like i don't think like a grown-ass man is creating some rumor about some random mediocre white dude in this class.

Speaker 2 I promise he's studying torts or whatever that class is.

Speaker 1 Listen, I love a burrito, so I'm not even going to go up against torts, but you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 1 And who makes up rumors that you're like extremely virile? They're like, let's take Will down. Let's make him look like he's getting laid all over the place.
Guys hate that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, exactly. So Mia's like, well, TJ's like, well, I think that Will told her that.
Like, of course, Will told her that.

Speaker 1 You think she formed that thought on her own, says Mia.

Speaker 2 And then all of a sudden, we are now going somewhere else in Charleston. And now it's like evening and or maybe it's daytime.
It's the daytime. And it's another day.

Speaker 2 And it's one day before the Sir Wiener's launch. And Olivia, the marketing manager of her republic, is going to help.
And she's overseeing TJ.

Speaker 2 As TJ is with his cart and like the cart, there's like a cart wrangler.

Speaker 2 Like they, it's like if you were shooting a movie and there's like a kangaroo, there's like got to be the person who comes along with the kangaroo to make sure the kangaroo is okay.

Speaker 2 So, this is like the guy who comes along with the cart.

Speaker 1 It's a unique job.

Speaker 1 They're like, guys, we cannot shoot the scene until the cart wrangle, the cart wrangler arrives. Okay.

Speaker 1 Take this seriously, you guys.

Speaker 1 And so, the cart wrangler is like, oh, by the way, it's not the same cart that we thought because we thought it was going to be like one of those LA carts with a flat top where they're cooking onions and stuff, but it's not.

Speaker 1 It's like a steam

Speaker 1 hot dog cart. Yeah.

Speaker 1 So then, yeah, they're like, oh my God, TJ, how are we going to get through this gate? He's like, I measured it. Okay, well, I thought we were going to have trouble getting past the plants.

Speaker 1 He's like, I came here early and I moved the plants. Who's a lawyer now?

Speaker 2 Yeah. And they tried to make it sexy because the guy's like, are we going to be able to get it in? And TJ's like, I think it'll fit because I wanted to get it in.
He's like, I measured.

Speaker 2 So they spend, it's a good amount of time pushing this cart through. I was actually,

Speaker 2 I I was getting stressed because I was imagining being in that situation. Like, I feel like I've never moved a hot dog cart, and yet watching the scene, I felt like I had.

Speaker 2 I felt like I had been commissioned by a friend who said, Hey, can you help me move this cart into the restaurant?

Speaker 2 It'll take like five minutes, but it winds up taking 35 minutes, and it's hot, and it's humid, and you're sweating, and the cart scrapes my knee, and we can't get it through, and it becomes a whole production.

Speaker 2 And suddenly, my plans for the entire day are ruined because the hot dog cart cannot get into the fucking patio, and I never should have signed up for this stupid task in the first place.

Speaker 2 Like I, I felt all of that watching this.

Speaker 1 Well, I have to say, look, I've always looked at you as a good person,

Speaker 1 but this is the most empathetic you've ever met. This is like,

Speaker 1 it takes hot dog carts to get you this empathetic. You're like, you guys, I put myself in the shoes of the hot dog cart movers.

Speaker 2 No, I was mad. I was mad at TJ for doing that to me.

Speaker 1 I was like, why did you do the hot dog design, the hot dog cart design? Because can we make hot dog carts easier?

Speaker 2 Like, where are the rubber wheels like why i was actually mad at i was kind of mad at leva and leah that they didn't allow tj just to roll the thing through the club

Speaker 1 where there were wide open doors

Speaker 1 i can smell the bar rot from here like let's stop acting like oh

Speaker 2 let's stop acting like this is going to offend all those middle-aged men in tommy bahama shirts coming into republic okay yeah we've seen exactly we've seen yeah so now we go to azure restaurant where emi and her sister peyton sit at the bar and shockingly emi tells us us that Peyton is her baby sister eight years younger than her I would never believe well well then we find out that she is about to go to college and I was like what this girl's only 18 I was shocked and she goes she may look like Sidney Sweeney but she is a baby girl in my heart forever I was like well okay I don't really see the Sidney Sweeney thing but that's okay um I didn't see that I didn't see that either but I mean her sister's cute and everything but I don't know this is like some sister delusion here yeah this is one of those she's Sidney Sweeney am I right am I right I guess that makes me Sydney Sweeney too too.

Speaker 2 So Peyton's like, how is Vegas? And she goes, um, so okay. Well, we all went to dinner and like Will kind of stood up to the table and said, I want to apologize about Emmy.

Speaker 2 And I love Emmy with all my heart. And she's the best.
And I'm going to be a lawyer. And he's, and like, I just love her with all my heart and yada, yada.

Speaker 2 You know, all the stuff he always says every single time we go out with anyone. You know, you know.
And all of a sudden, Austin ran his mouth saying like all this bullshit about Will.

Speaker 1 And, you know, Peyton's like, I don't know who any of these people are.

Speaker 2 Just, can I get my free fries?

Speaker 1 Well, Peyton's just looking at her like you're buying this lunch, right?

Speaker 1 Cause I'm so uncomfortable, like pretending that will's not a total dirtbag so then we see a flashback to the vegas dinner where austin's like apparently it's common knowledge at this law school that this man has slept with multiple people and then emmy's like

Speaker 1 slow motion tears squirting out so then back to the restaurant she's like um so i start to like have a panic attack like why are we going in oh my god can good people just win

Speaker 1 sometimes

Speaker 1 like i have to defend something that's not true you know it was like shut down Like, long story short, like, he's being bullied. You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And I'm, like, not been going through bullshit with each other. Like, if anything, it's made us love each other even more.

Speaker 1 Like, if anything, like, I want Will's baby inside of me right now. Like, he deserves it.
He deserves it.

Speaker 1 How's your salad?

Speaker 2 I think that Will is going to propose next summer as soon as he can get himself unjammed from the locker that his bully shoved him into. Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Fingers crossed. Oh, question, question.
Waiter. Come here.
Come here. Come here.
Come here. Come here.
Waiter. I just wanted to ask you something about the menu.

Speaker 2 Okay. Yes.

Speaker 2 Should Will and I get married in London?

Speaker 1 Should we, yes or no? Yes or no?

Speaker 2 Because I was thinking, like, they call them Lawyers' Barristers over there, and I could be Mr. and Mrs.
Barrister, you know.

Speaker 2 And I was like, I'm thinking, like, we could be friends with like Kate and Will because they know, like, oh my God, be like, Will on Will.

Speaker 2 Like, would there be like two Wills would be like running each other in the street and would be like, Your name's Will.

Speaker 1 My name is Will. And I'm America.

Speaker 2 Like, we'll totally hit it off. It's going to happen, Peyton.

Speaker 1 It's all going to happen.

Speaker 1 I just want to get married somewhere where everybody's as white as Will.

Speaker 1 Peyton's like, that would be fun.

Speaker 1 So, like, it's good that you believe Will, because personally, I wouldn't. She goes, what?

Speaker 1 What do you mean? What do you mean by that? What do you mean you wouldn't? What?

Speaker 2 It's just the rumors are just like scary. And I don't know.
I just think it's, it's so weird.

Speaker 1 And I mean,

Speaker 1 well,

Speaker 1 I mean,

Speaker 1 look, like, I mean, look, something you don't understand, like, you're like young Sidney Sweeney. Like, you don't really understand things like old Sidney Sweeney does now.

Speaker 1 And, like, when you're an adult, things are different. So, like, you just take a lot more shit because you're that much closer to being a barrister's wife.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 okay. The foundation of a relationship should be friendship.
And like, Will and I tell each other everything.

Speaker 1 We don't ever, ever, ever, ever, ever lie.

Speaker 2 And that is a fact. That is true.
We are lawyers. Well, I'm not a lawyer, but I like pretend to be a lawyer.
Like, I dress up like a lawyer, but I'm not a lawyer, but he's a lawyer.

Speaker 2 He's going to be a lawyer. He's going to be a barrister.
Actually, he's actually going to run England. I don't know if you heard this.
He's actually the prime minister of England.

Speaker 2 They've already chosen him.

Speaker 2 And so we're friends. And the foundation of being a good prime minister is having a friendship first with the country and your wife.
It all makes sense.

Speaker 1 Just you'll see when you're older. She's like,

Speaker 1 I mean, usually if you cheat on the person you're dating, it's because you don't even love the person anymore. So, right? And she goes, uh-huh.
I mean, like, from your opinion, like, do I seem happy?

Speaker 1 Like, because the only people who cheat are like, I'm happy in their marriage. That's not true.

Speaker 1 People in happy marriages cheat all the fucking time. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Some of them. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Speaker 2 And I think I often, I think, has nothing to do with happiness. I think it's just like

Speaker 2 other hardwiring that I'm sure you just go to a therapist for and they'll tell you all about it. Or just watch bonus.

Speaker 1 Or it's just boners. Men are pigs and we get boners.
And once you get a boner,

Speaker 1 the boner starts telling you what to do. Okay.
The boner is the boss.

Speaker 1 And sometimes that just, I'm not saying it's right, but I'm just saying there's no, a guy doesn't need some deep, dark emotional reason to cheat on your ass. Okay.
Exactly.

Speaker 1 He's got some free time and he's got a boner.

Speaker 2 That's it. If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean those pipes.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Sometimes you don't even need a boner.
Even guys without boners can cheat on you. You know, guys are very multifaceted.

Speaker 2 So Peyton is like, well, you seem overwhelmed.

Speaker 1 Beverages. You can eat the tables.

Speaker 1 I am very overwhelmed.

Speaker 2 Oh my God. I've made 14 charcuterie plates for Will this week.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. I was like,

Speaker 1 it's busy.

Speaker 2 It's busy over here. Oh my God.

Speaker 1 I'm overwhelmed with love. Love.
Overwhelmed with love.

Speaker 2 You're cute. You're so cute.
You're so young and so cute and naive. You don't understand how love works, works, but this is the way love works.
She says, I love you. And then I trust it.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's it.

Speaker 1 And this is why we need cameras in everybody's car because you know that the second they got in there, she's like, what the fuck was that, Peyton? I called you fucking Sidney Sweeney.

Speaker 1 You're my sister.

Speaker 2 You're supposed to be loyal to me. You're my sister.

Speaker 1 So now we go to Plef Mod Pottery, you know, which every young person loves. Every free, love and fun young person loves to do.
Go to the pottery store with the gang.

Speaker 1 So they go to the make your own pottery place,

Speaker 1 and Preston's there.

Speaker 2 Oh my God, Preston.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, I like missed you.

Speaker 2 I missed you so much. I was thinking of doing the tea.
Hello. I was thinking of doing the tea steeper because I'm always spilling the tea.

Speaker 2 And he's like, oh my God, I don't even know what I'm going to do quite yet, but like maybe we could put it in our future house together. Oh my God.

Speaker 2 The pineapple, upside down pineapple at the bottom of the sea. Oh my God.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Preston says we should do it upside down. Girl, that's a man who's already ready to cheat on you.

Speaker 1 Because that's a switch. Which wasn't right.

Speaker 2 I think they were referencing SpongeBob.

Speaker 2 Doesn't SpongeBob live in upside-down pineapple at the bottom of the sea?

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't know nothing about SpongeBob. I've always been too old for that shit.
Even if I was a kid when that came out, I still would have been too old. I was just like that as a kid.

Speaker 1 I would have been smoking a cigarette at five. Like, nope, I'm not watching this.
That method. That's clock marked and square get me someone hotter i need a hotter thing to look up to

Speaker 2 um thank you to ai for providing this very serious response to my question where does spongebob live where does spongebob live spongebob square pants lives in a pineapple at 124 conch street or conch street in bikini bottom in undersea city in the pacific ocean and then we have some bullet points spongebob is a yellow sponge who works as a fry cook at the crusty crab his pineapple home is three stories tall and has a living room, a word closet, and other amenities.

Speaker 2 SpongeBob lives with his pet snail, Gary, and his pet scallop, Shelly.

Speaker 2 His neighbors include Patrick and Squidbird, and Bikini Bottom is based on Bikini Atoll, a small island in the Pacific Ocean where the U.S.

Speaker 2 conducted nuclear weapons tests during this fund during the Cold War. Thank you, AI, for that comprehensive answer.

Speaker 1 But this is what Preston's bringing you that.

Speaker 1 He's not bringing up SpongeBob. This is upside down pineapple.
It means you're a swinger couple and you're going to fuck each other's friends. Okay.
That's what that means.

Speaker 1 So Michaels is like, things are definitely great with Preston.

Speaker 1 Like, I mean, we talked every day in Vegas and made sure I was sure, I made sure he was shirtless when we FaceTimed because I miss his body.

Speaker 2 So then Lake shows up with her longtime best friend and current girlfriend, Shelby. And Lake is tired.
And Lake is like, Shelby is like one of my best friends.

Speaker 2 And like, whenever we do see each other, we are still intimate. Like, she's like a best friend with Benevet.

Speaker 2 and like part of the reason why i lost interest in brad is because like i'm not really feeling dudes right now like there's times where like the girls i like girls more and there's times where i like guys more and like right now i'm in for like the girls season you know so

Speaker 1 I love this for her. She's not interested in Bradley because she's dating this girl instead.
And she's like, yeah, we were like 16 and we just started like making a hot one there.

Speaker 1 I felt so comfortable around her. Like she was my sexual awakening.
So

Speaker 1 yeah, we have a soul bond so back at pottery lake is like um shelby's met my whole uh no lake says shelby's met my whole family and michael says even your dad and shelby goes oh yeah mr rucker very direct businessman

Speaker 2 shelby shelby's like rage painting her like pottery yes i love mr rucker So Michael's like, how does it feel about, how does he feel about you guys being together? Like, he like, does he know?

Speaker 2 Does he know about this right now? And Lake is like, yeah, we were always together.

Speaker 2 It's like, pretty obvious, but like my dad and i we try to like avoid those conversations so like we have a really close relationship and she basically talks about how she doesn't want to like she's like afraid of like losing a relationship with her dad because like her family's successful and you know they care a lot about what the public has to say and especially because it's the south and she talks a lot about like you know how like you know being a part of a southern black christian family there's like a way of speaking and presenting yourself and she has like a lot of pressure on her basically and like um her family might view her as being as like having a disease if she's like gay or fluid and like you know this is this is what she's struggling with which is interesting that this is this is really an ongoing theme on this show like we've had this is our fourth uh i think lgbt cube member because we also had mikhail the first season and like every season there's been like this struggle that these these people have been going through the struggle with being gay in the south you know and she's talking i i did find it amazing that she's like yeah my family's like super christian and super successful.

Speaker 1 And so like, I don't want to embarrass them, which is why I fucked a guy last week on camera. It's like, you just took the guy back to your hotel room last week.

Speaker 2 That's why I decided to have a giant house party on Bravo TV in our home.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 but it was a good conversation. And, you know, she's with, you know, three other queer people.

Speaker 1 So they're telling, you know, Preston's like, if they don't know who you are, you're going to disappoint them, you know, because they're proud of who they don't even know.

Speaker 1 You know, they need to know who you really are and michaels is talking about his mom and he was always trying to get a girlfriend to please other people and he's like you're going to get to a point where you're like okay i'm painting an upside down pineapple because some hot guy wants me to and that's just it

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's a nice moment. It's, it's a really nice scene.
And Michaels is like, I never want Lake to be in a place where she feels she can't be herself.

Speaker 2 So I'm going to try to guide her based on my own experience. Also, by the fact that I'm like so good as like a manager at Republic.

Speaker 2 So I know it's not easy kind of like building that sign, but I'm going to get her through it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Let's see. What else happens here?

Speaker 2 It's just a nice scene. It's like a very nice.

Speaker 1 lovely sweet scene and yeah i was it was a nice scene sorry i was texting my dad because he's coming over to the internet so i was like sorry you have to place you're like uh speaking of parents

Speaker 2 you're like oh dad you're coming over except me um

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was 15 years old. I was like, hello.

Speaker 1 So then, Republic Garden Lounge and Patio. It's time for Sir Wieners.

Speaker 1 So guess who's here? Our face. Leah.
Leah, CEO. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Sir Wieners. Did I knight that motherfucker? I don't think so.
You are not, sir, until I tell you you're sir. Welcome to Sir Wieners.
I am Leah, motherfucking CEO.

Speaker 2 You see like, like, like, like flames going up at the side of like Republic and like a

Speaker 2 when Leah shows up on a Harley, takes off her mask. Hey, motherfuckers, Leah, CEOs here, Sir Wieners.
How about fuck you, Wieners? I'll tell you what wieners get to come in here.

Speaker 2 The only wiener I care about is the one that's going into my badge after my shift.

Speaker 1 Now clean that table.

Speaker 1 You know what? Are you putting merch here? Because if I was you, I would move that furniture and put merch there. But I don't want to step on any wieners here.
I'm only a CE motherfucking O.

Speaker 1 You do it how you want to do it. Would you like to lose money today? Good.
You're on the right track. Congratulations, Latias.
I'm not getting paid for this shit.

Speaker 2 I don't want to ruffle any feathers. Literal feathers.

Speaker 1 You gay bird.

Speaker 2 You have feathers.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I lost track. That one got away from me.

Speaker 2 You know, even CEOs have trouble sometimes. Sometimes it's hard to come with a good disc.
I'll probably get written up by HR. But guess what? HR reports to me, motherfuckers.
Yeah, me CEO is back.

Speaker 1 Back.

Speaker 2 Back on top of it.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

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Speaker 1 So she's like, wow, so you're gonna put hot dogs on actual hot dog buns instead of little napkins that can be wiped across a table to make it cleaner. Good for you.

Speaker 1 In the mood to lose money, you're on the right track, you fucking snoozer.

Speaker 2 I'm like very anxious about today, especially because Leah's Yeo keeps on trying to snort the hot dogs like they're cocaine. I don't know what she's doing.
It's relish.

Speaker 2 But I feel organized and that makes me turned on. Organization.

Speaker 2 And the cart is on display and we have merchandise on both sides and all the hot dogs are going to come out of the kitchen today and be passed around like hors d'oeuvres because it's the debut and start of a brand and I want it to be a success.

Speaker 1 I'm like, you're not going to pull the hot dogs out of the hot dog cart the hot dog cart is purely for photographic reasons i think it is because how can you do i mean he has a huge menu he made hot dogs i took a screenshot of it i shouldn't look through my screenshots right now i've taken screenshots of so many shameful things okay sir wiener's menu the pb wiener time the you up dog the meanie weenie the dumpster dog fully loaded all beef hot dog toast with chili melted cheese basically there's a ton of stuff on here and there's a lot of toppings Where are you going to put those on that hot dog cart?

Speaker 1 That's what I don't understand. You need a bigger cart and you need a flat top.

Speaker 2 I'm actually on his web. I have to say, by the way, the website's great.
I'm on the website right now. It has this adorable little like 2007 animated GIF of Sir Wieners going in rotation.

Speaker 2 But honestly,

Speaker 2 they killed it. Like, the photography is good.

Speaker 2 It's clean. Okay, so he has the dumpster dog, which is fully loaded.

Speaker 1 There's a lot of hot dogs. These are a lot of hot dogs.
Man,

Speaker 1 $71 hoodie. Yeah, you better send us one.

Speaker 2 $71? Okay, I have to say, the worst wiener, this is not an appealing photo.

Speaker 2 Some of the food photography needs to be worked on. The worst wiener looks literally like

Speaker 2 a dookie. But you know what, though?

Speaker 1 The dumpster dog looks good. The PB Wiener time looks good.
Dumpster dog looks good. Hot dog layered with smooth peanut butter, crunchy pretzels, diced bacon, and a touch of garlic crunch.

Speaker 1 What the fuck is that?

Speaker 2 I have to tell you, the meanie weenie looks really good. The worst wiener, I just would like a regular hot dog, though.
Do you just have like regular?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. The worst wiener does look like a dead person.

Speaker 2 Worst wiener needs some help. It's like a little pale and looks like the onions are falling off of it.
Like we need to redo that photo.

Speaker 2 But you up dog is the traditional plain hot dogs with ketchup and mustard.

Speaker 1 But it's Dijon mustard, so it's not traditional. I agree.
It needs some yellow mustard.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I do like, I like that the the hot dog looks like it's in a little blanket. Like the hot dog looks like it's asleep in a bed.

Speaker 1 And also the pickles on the it's all about wieners look a little pale. I need

Speaker 1 a different picture for that one, too.

Speaker 2 We're gonna need to upgrade those pickles.

Speaker 1 I will say the hot dog buns look good. They look kind of good.
The buns look they look the buns look great. I would say 80% of these hot dogs look really good.

Speaker 2 I would eat, honestly, I would eat every single one of them.

Speaker 2 Find our wieners. lamar's love

Speaker 1 okay so then people start showing up and there's like a big martini full of tiny little hot dog things in there and will sees it and he's like oh my dog my god hot dogs in a martini glass oh god objection

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, you don't like it.

Speaker 2 Would you prefer hot dogs in a tort of some kind?

Speaker 2 Got it.

Speaker 1 So then I hate hot dogs. I find them like disgusting.
Hot dogs are like the lowest tier of sausages. You're the lowest tier of sausage.

Speaker 1 You are the lowest tier of sausage.

Speaker 1 Well, how dare you?

Speaker 1 The lowest one. Oh, my goodness.

Speaker 2 Like, literally, hot dogs are wonderful. They are, they're the most, they're the most accessible tier of hot, of sausage.
It doesn't mean that they're the worst. So

Speaker 1 he's the most accessible form of sausage.

Speaker 2 He is accessible and the worst. He's the worst, worst.
So Emmy comes in and she is doing a Lee Anlocke and hot dog/slash Bronwyn costume.

Speaker 2 And she's like, everyone, hey, ask me about my wiener. Oh, ask me about my wiener.
And Will's like,

Speaker 2 I think Emmy Wynne's best dress, guys. Look, she dressed like a hot dog.
Isn't that like hilarious?

Speaker 1 Yeah. So she's like,

Speaker 1 guys,

Speaker 1 I got a wiener. I got a wiener costume from Amazon.
I'm like the best friend here.

Speaker 1 And he's like, would you pass some wieners? She's like, oh, oh, okay.

Speaker 1 Puts her right to work.

Speaker 2 And then,

Speaker 2 you know, she just passing around hot dog platters, and people are like, everyone's excited. And Mia's working too.

Speaker 2 And she goes, I don't know who's a better friend than me because I'm working for free at a place I got fired from. And we see a flashback to her getting fired.

Speaker 1 And so that was pretty good when she thought she was being all badass.

Speaker 1 She's like, I mean, there are plenty of people that you haven't fired here who have been drinking on the job. She goes, like, who? Like me.
You've been drinking on the job. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're fired. And she's like,

Speaker 2 I wonder if she'll ever come.

Speaker 1 I wonder if Leva will ever hire her back.

Speaker 2 Because she's like, now Mia's in that purgatory that happens on these hospitality shows where you don't work at the restaurant anymore.

Speaker 2 So there's not really a reason for you to be around, but you still sort of like linger on the sidelines.

Speaker 1 So rules did it for at least six of the 10 years. So I think they'll be.
Yeah, Kristen.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 now Taylor and Rodrigo show up from Southern Charm. So watch out, everyone.
Sad. Someone called the Charisma Police.

Speaker 1 This was sad. I was like, wow, the stars are all out today.
Rodrigo.

Speaker 1 Have you noticed, or not Rodrigo, Rod. Have you noticed that Taylor has a totally different personality on this show? It's weird.
I didn't

Speaker 2 relaxed and energetic.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 I noticed that as well. She seems like she's like,

Speaker 2 she doesn't seem shell-shocked. She doesn't seem traumatized.

Speaker 1 She doesn't seem like she's in the middle of a lobotomy on this show. Yes.

Speaker 2 Oh, and speaking of lobotomies, by the way, people definitely tune into Hear Our Dwell Hello that we're going to record this week because there is definitely a southern lobotomy girl that's happened.

Speaker 2 That's on this.

Speaker 1 Yeah, there really is. She's like, I want the bigger big green.

Speaker 2 I want a view.

Speaker 1 So I'm home. I need a view.
I don't care if it costs more money.

Speaker 2 I have a dog named Lottie. Lottie, do you like this view?

Speaker 2 I want it all.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, the stars are out tonight. So, Lova's talking to Maddie.
She's like, how was Vegas?

Speaker 1 And Maddie's like, it was so much fun. We got fake married.
Don't worry, though. It was only fake.
Don't ask Joe about it. He thinks it's real.

Speaker 1 Super fun. She's like, what?

Speaker 1 I have no rings. So it was a commitment ceremony.
It was just, it was hilarious. And Lova's like,

Speaker 2 yeah, sounds great. I'm going to go hang out with Lil.
So then Brad is talking to Joe and he's like, hey, congratulations on the marriage. When's the honeymoon? Huh? He's like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm, I'm on like a one-year plan. Like, I want to propose like pretty soon.
It's like, really? Like, how long have you guys actually been dating for?

Speaker 2 Like, four months, but it feels like we've been like dating for like a year. So it's like, we're pretty much married.

Speaker 1 And Brad's like, I don't know what quantum physics Joey Bottles has been doing, but four months does not translate into a year. So quantum physics is.
All right.

Speaker 2 Yeah. She's like a fucking DJ now.
And like, if she like goes on the road and I'm like not with her, I just like, I like the feeling of being engaged, you know? Like, that's nice.

Speaker 1 So then

Speaker 1 Brad's like, yeah, Joe's a little insecure there. You know, he doesn't want to be left behind.
So then TJ is mingling around and Love is like, oh my God, this event is like such a success.

Speaker 1 I'm like so proud of TJ, you know, like he's not only benefiting me, he's benefiting my spaces. So Sir Wiener's partnership.

Speaker 2 I think the hot dogs are going to play really well with the Tommy Bahamaset.

Speaker 1 So now we go, now the music's like, work hard, play harder, work hard, play harder, work hard, play harder. Will's not cheating.
Like, whoa, whoa, okay.

Speaker 2 So then inside, we go inside a Republic, and TJ is

Speaker 2 he pulls Emmy aside to talk. And she's like,

Speaker 2 she's like, she's like, hi, hi. And he goes, I just want to thank you for yesterday.
I just feel like it's been like a rough summer for us. And I want to make sure that we're both on the same page.

Speaker 2 Yeah, of course we're on the same page. Just like how me and Will are on totally on the same page.
We're going to get married and like we're in love. And like, he doesn't cheat.

Speaker 2 Like pages, I love pages. I love books.
You know what I love? No, like more than books, magazines.

Speaker 2 And I can't wait to see me in the magazine with Kate and Will when we move to London and he's a barrister and we're like friends going on double dates.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 2 what's going on? What are you doing?

Speaker 1 You feel like totally fine, me and you. We're like totally fine.

Speaker 1 i mean i bought a wiener outfit so like have you seen it oh i was wearing it it was hilarious he's like um can i ask you something so um last night i thought we were like really loving each other and we're at a better place but then when you left taylor was like emmy said this is all your fault this summer and you're just like a stupid vacuumer and you're never gonna find love and she's like oh no no

Speaker 1 taylor

Speaker 1 i was afraid she was gonna say that what i was saying was like i really support hot dogs and i'm totally into you and you're doing an amazing job. So weird.
I wonder how she heard that.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I didn't blame you. I didn't blame you for it whatsoever.
Not at all. Nothing.
Everything's fine. Everything is totally fine.

Speaker 2 Because I just like want to truly believe that like it wasn't like trying to conspire or like come after you. Like, I just want you to believe that.

Speaker 1 Which.

Speaker 1 TJ. TJ's like, I hope that it didn't come off like I'm trying to like ruin your relationship with Will because he's a cheating bastard and I want you to break up.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't.
And

Speaker 2 to think, I don't want you to think anything like you don't want to lessen me. Like, no, no, no, no, I don't, no, I don't think less of you.

Speaker 2 And I don't think that you have bad intentions or they think that you're a bad friend. You're just like an unsupportive friend.
You're just someone who's not there.

Speaker 2 There's someone trying to hurt me and will, hurt like our relationship, hurt like what we're trying to do here, trying to like this, this project that we're on, this mission, this, this, this journey.

Speaker 2 And you're just kind of like a spoke in the wheel and we're just going to crash and like we're going to like break our limbs all because of you. But I love you and I love you.
And

Speaker 2 I support you and you're hot dogs. And there's been like a lot going on and all that.

Speaker 2 And like, I think Serena was the perfect event to bring us back together in a, you know, life for no good reasons, just hot dogs. But like, we're together now, we're friends.
Everything's fine.

Speaker 1 Everything's okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So she's like kissing his butts.
She's like, I mean, Sir Wieners, you're like the king of dicks. Am I right? So it's like fitting.
It's great. It's great.
We're good. We're good.
We're good.

Speaker 1 Hot dog. I'm hot dog.

Speaker 1 And so then she tells us, she's like, yeah, I don't trust TJ. I mean, I mean, he'll turn on you if it benefits him.
Like, if he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, you're on his fucking bad side.

Speaker 1 It's exhausting. And that's why I'm being friendly to him because I'm like terrified of him.
Okay, let's roll a clip of him yelling at women.

Speaker 1 So then we get that clip and she's like yeah um so i'm gonna be nice to him uh so he doesn't ruin my life so i hope he doesn't hear this

Speaker 2 yeah so now everyone's gonna start their shifts and everything and uh joe goes up to tj and he's like i just want you to know i'm like really inspired by our sir wieners of that i think i'm gonna have an event called sir married and it's just be pictures of maddie's face that we're gonna hand out it'll be great

Speaker 1 So TJ is like, my event was amazing. The bar did five grand on Wednesday and I sold 100 tickets at the door.
So I basically made all my money back. I was like, how much were those tickets?

Speaker 1 That's how you get it.

Speaker 2 So TJ is like, by the way, I just like really appreciated the text you sent me.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 um where the text where i said sent a hot dog emoji and was like good job yeah it really would have hurt me if we weren't cool when you had that party because like in my bones i would have been like fuck you know anyway

Speaker 1 i love you i love you too are we married no i'm already married bro sorry so then uh the next day at maddie's house uh she's talking to her mom mary ellen and mary ellen is like uh she goes hey mom how are you doing she goes um running around good good running around incredibly busy so what is joe there is joe there at your house and she's like no mom um but we did get fake married and she's like Did you sign any fake papers, Madison?

Speaker 1 It's like, no, mom, I'm not stupid. Did you fuck him on TV again? Because I told you if you fucked another person on TV, I was going to be very upset.
She's No, mom. Seriously.

Speaker 2 He didn't put a ring around your finger. No, like literally LO fucking L mom.
Like if anything, it was like a commitment ceremony.

Speaker 2 And like I appreciate that reassurance from Joe because that like he would want that from me from one day. She goes, okay, so how long have you been dating that idiot?

Speaker 2 Mom, I mean that lovely man. Like almost like five months.
Yeah. Okay.
This is moving fast, mad. Okay.
You have been out of that relationship with Trevor for like only like a second, you know?

Speaker 2 And yeah, no, for sure, for sure, mom. Yeah, for sure.
But like, I trust Joe and like, I love him and I could see a future with him. And he's like my best friend.

Speaker 1 Like, I mean that, mom.

Speaker 2 But like, I don't think we're ready to like get fucking married. But like, we don't even like live with each other.
I just think like my number one priority is like my career right now.

Speaker 1 She's like, well, we, Dad, and I taught you how to be an independent woman, honey. And your identity is Batty Reese, DJ, LO fucking Allen.
Don't you forget it. She's like, okay, mom.
So then.

Speaker 2 Don't you forget we're a household that loves music. Remember, that was her thing from season one.
I grew up in a household like everyone in my family likes music.

Speaker 1 I'm really musical. That's why I'm so musical.
We're basically like the sound of music family, but you know, with old Michael Jackson records and a play button.

Speaker 1 So then

Speaker 1 Joe comes home and she's on the couch and he's like, you look really pretty right now.

Speaker 2 You look like my wife.

Speaker 1 You are my wife. So what are you working on, DJ shit? Are you like remixing wedding music? Like,

Speaker 1 don't cry out loud. Is that a wedding song? I meant Shall We Dance? That one where the girl's dad is dead, but like she still dances at the wedding.
That was like really sad. I'm crying out.

Speaker 2 Should we do like a remix? That's like going to the chapel, but it's like reference to Chapel Ron.

Speaker 2 Like we're going to a chapel room concert, but it's like, so it's current, but it's also like referencing that we got married. You know, you know what I'm saying? Wait a minute.

Speaker 1 Chapel Room's yelling at me right now in my head and calling me disrespectful. Never mind.
Take her out of it. Take her out of it.

Speaker 2 I'm like, hot to go.

Speaker 2 So Maddie is like, she's like, no, I'm looking at houses to buy right now joe she's like wait oh yeah zillow

Speaker 2 yeah i thought it was gonna be like i thought it would be like redfin but it's like yeah zillow

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 like are you looking for houses for yourself or for like us oh oh god this scene is so cringe to watch she's like um well like i want to invest in real estate and i'm like sick of paying rent and you know like i have to like grow up and like live on my own or like i guess live with you but like i really like living with my girlfriends joe and he goes goes, Yeah, but like, I like living with your girlfriends too.

Speaker 1 But, like, it's been like five months of me going all the way over there and spending every night there. And I don't have my things.

Speaker 2 It's like, it's like it's a grill lane.

Speaker 1 It's really growing. Buy me a house.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Like, I live, I live like two minutes from Republic where Matt and where Maddie lives, that's like 45 minutes away.
Like, I don't own a car.

Speaker 2 And if I added up all the Ubers that I spent on going back and forth, I could have like a G-Wagon or like, like, maybe not a G-Wagon, but like a Tahoe, or like, maybe like not a tahoe but like maybe like a used geoprism like it's like a lot then buy a car and stop your bitching

Speaker 2 i know or at least hire trevor to bike you over there on his little rickshaw

Speaker 1 so joe's like uh so we're like moving in together because like i have money saved up too and she goes um no that's like pressure okay and we're like in this honeymoon phase he goes but i want to communicate like how you feel about it because like i'm not pressuring you i'm just saying like my honest truth is like we're married and we need to live together like yesterday.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean? And she's like, um, we don't need to make that decision right now, Joe. He's like, why am I paying rent when you could be buying a house? Like, this is ridiculous.

Speaker 1 Like, I can't just like drive to that house 30 minutes. Like, I'm just not.
I'm not doing that for another year. Then don't.

Speaker 1 Yeah, then don't. What the fuck are you talking about?

Speaker 2 And then even, even she says, then don't. Like, if you want to stay here, then stay here.
I just feel like I go to your house to sleep with you because like I want to be with you.

Speaker 2 But sometimes I feel like you could care less if I'm there. Like you're not like going to compromise compromise with me on that.
I'm like, Joe, then make her miss you a little bit. It's that simple.

Speaker 1 Oh my God. Joe, I basically got a child putting a dry cleaning bag over their head and running around the house.
You're suffocating them. Okay.
Stop suffocating her.

Speaker 1 She acts like she doesn't want you to be there because she doesn't want you to be there. And you're there all the fucking time.
Go home, Joe. Go home.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Can I ask you something, Joe? Years ago, you gave me a really hard time about moving in with my boyfriend. Like you did out of everyone.

Speaker 2 And we see a flashback to watch happens live where like joe's giving maddie like all sorts of shit for moving in with trevor and by the way i just want to say to those two bravo fans who called in to ask that question that caused all this shit congratulations you not only caused a storyline to happen um on the show but you got to have like like a really long amount of bonus air time on bravo that was really cool good job

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 2 You're like, what are you talking about, Ben?

Speaker 1 Because the flashback were like these two people who asked joe and maddie something like do you think that they moved in too quickly and so they were up on screen like they were having this argument but these two girls were like up on screen sort of smiling oh my god yeah watch what happens live provides the most mess for these shows for sure and he's like she's like but you're putting me in the same situation joe and he's like oh you're the one looking at houses like i mean look like does that guy make you a better person okay look let me phrase it this way Does your husband make you a better person?

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 like, are you better at work? Do I make you a better better DJ? Like, who's the one who taught you the crossfade whoopee? Okay, that was me. Okay.
Do I give you more confidence?

Speaker 1 Are you happy sleeping with me six out of seven times a week or seven out of seven times a week? Like, are you? Are you? Are you? Are you? Are you? Are you? And she's like, yes, Joan.

Speaker 1 And he's like, and the fact that you had to even think about it. She's like, I didn't have to think about it.
But it's like the whole world ripped me apart from moving it with Trevor.

Speaker 1 And now you want me to do it again.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but that was like two years ago. And he was like driving a bike taxi down fucking King Street.
And he had like, you had no future with that guy

Speaker 1 with me

Speaker 2 I stand in the front of a club and I'm like you want to come in you want to come in like that's a future that guy never flashed a pamphlet at anybody

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 that guy never went to a kitchen and said okay we need happy birthday at table 47 like that's that's someone with a future okay and she's got a point but she's trying to win a she's trying to win like a logical argument with Joe.

Speaker 1 She's basically saying, you judged me for moving in too quick, but now you want me to move in with you even quicker. Like, leave me alone.
That shouldn't be the argument.

Speaker 1 The argument should be like, it's nice dating you. We're not really married.
I'm not ready to move in with you. Period.
I'm buying a house and we're not buying a house. Stop it.

Speaker 1 You're fucking suffocating me. And Matt's going to either cheat on him or break up with him.
There's no way. Because she's so not into this.

Speaker 1 And it's not because she doesn't want to move in with him and all of this. You can tell she just does not want to be in this.
And I think she's in the situation where she's like, now we're in it.

Speaker 1 And now if I break up with you, I'm going to get a bunch of shit because now you're like the sweetheart, you know, and you're looking like the perfect boyfriend when you're really being kind of a controlling asshole.

Speaker 1 And now the world's going to rip me apart again if I break up with you, you know?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And like there's a part of me that wonders if she's just in like nice guy rebound phase because sometimes like people who date toxic men will date like the nice guy to feel like they are on the route, like breaking the cycle, but they're not, their heart's not really in it.

Speaker 2 And then they go back to the toxicity, which is very sad. But it does.
I've seen it happen like a million times with people.

Speaker 2 So then Maddie's like, no, Joe, I'm just saying, like, after you don't know what it's like to make a decision and have people comment and then be like, you're an idiot. You're stupid.
Okay.

Speaker 2 Like, I dated him for a year before I moved in. And like, you're dating.

Speaker 1 First of all, stop the car. Joe knows what it's like to be called an idiot on the internet.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We've been doing it for three days. Yeah.

Speaker 1 He goes, go ahead. Start the car.

Speaker 2 So then she's just like, I mean, what's that saying? If it ain't broke, don't do a remix of it. No, don't fix it.
Are you sure it's not remix it? No, fix it.

Speaker 1 By the way,

Speaker 1 have you heard all the controversy? I mean, that's basically the whole conversation. But

Speaker 1 have you heard the controversy of her song that she came out with? It's a total ripoff?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 You haven't? Oh, it's a total fucking ripoff. It's not even original at all.
Well, she didn't rip off anybody worth a damn. No offense.

Speaker 2 But La La La La La was not original?

Speaker 1 No, it's Lala's song. Lala had another song.

Speaker 2 Oh, it really is Lala. Yes.

Speaker 2 Lala was a ripoff of Lala.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was a ripoff of Lala, but it turns out, allegedly, it's like

Speaker 1 something you could just buy online. And like the DJs will buy online and kind of remix to be their own thing.
And she didn't change anything. J.
Ali Lala? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And there are sites like that for DJs where you can find, you know, beats and stuff like that to mix in. But apparently they just took this whole song and just maybe put some Lalas over it.

Speaker 2 It's like using GarageBand to string together some loops and then releasing a single, which is what I did for

Speaker 2 my Countess Luann songs. But I also didn't do that as a series.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we do it for this. Yeah, but it's not serious.

Speaker 2 We're not like real.

Speaker 1 But no, no, because we actually put the stuff together. Like we chose different beats out of Garage Band and mix and match beats.
She didn't do that.

Speaker 1 She like literally took something that was already done and yikes. It's like

Speaker 1 deleting all the comments and stuff.

Speaker 1 Guys.

Speaker 2 If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Is that what that saying is?

Speaker 2 Yeah, all things sometimes break. The end.

Speaker 2 So, yeah.

Speaker 2 Wow. I did not know that.
That's a fun little piece of controversy. That's like, I love, I love a controversy like that.
Like a low, a low stakes, low wattage, you know,

Speaker 2 like theft situation.

Speaker 1 It's great. Yeah.

Speaker 1 All right, everybody. Well, thanks so much for being here for some Southern Hospital.
We'll be back later. Well, we'll be back every day, but later in the week is our Traders Recap.

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Speaker 2 Picture this.

Speaker 3 You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange. The horizon doesn't look right.
At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.

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It's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water, and it's racing straight toward you.

Speaker 3 On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning.

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