#2735 RHOBH S1412 Stars and Gripes Forever

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Watch what crappens, oh well it's not me, it's a rabbit Who cares what happens when there welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me, as always, is the lovely and dependable Ronnie Karam.
Hi, Ronnie. How's it going? Well, dependable.
Jesus, what am I, a horse? Just kidding. Hi, how are you? Great.
It is Wednesday here in the world of crappins, and we are talking Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Before we get into that, of course, come join us on Patreon, where you can listen to bonus episodes.
We are doing The Traitors as our bonus episode these days. We just recapped it yesterday, so go listen to that.
We also do Crappins On Demand where you can watch us on video. You can see our smiling faces, which is really fun.
Sort of rounds out the full Crappens experience. And of course, in March, we are going back out on the road with the mounting hysteria tour.
We are going to go to Cincinnati, Minneapolis, Toronto, Charlotte, Atlanta, D.C, and Philly in March. That's all in March.
And we got a whole bunch of other shows in April and in May, but we will pester you about those when we get closer to that. But for right now, come join us.
Tickets are at watchworkrappens.com. We cannot wait to see all your faces in the audience

because there's going to be a lot of shit to talk about,

a lot of shows.

So for right now, though, it's going to be about Beverly Hills.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

What a funny episode.

Another good one.

Really good one.

Really, really.

And let me tell you something.

Kyle Richards made me laugh a few times and not laughing at her. I was laughing with her.
I could not actually believe this. Yeah.
I was like, wait a second. Is Kyle making me chuckle? This is weird.
There you go. She's getting you back.
Slowly but surely. She'll get you back.
So this is season 14, episode 12, The Land of the Free, The Home of the Shade. we're still at Sutton's house you know I have to say we were talking earlier this week in our traders recap available on patreon about Tom Sandoval's kind of redemption in the audience's eyes at least um where it's like you realize yeah I mean he's still Tom but Tom was funny before he fucked up you know and that it took a really long time for Tom to redeem himself.
We were just talking about that. And I was thinking, you know, a case study on how quickly somebody can kind of redeem themselves is Reba.
I mean, Reba, the first week she was on was probably one of the most hated parents I'd ever seen on a Housewives show, like immediately. The comments were, you know, and rightfully so.
I mean, she's just, you you know she's like a sticker in your butt but by the end i was like wow i like reba who knew yeah i mean the woman in three weeks went from a complete villain to i kind of like reba that sometimes happens with bravo right like sometimes someone could have a villain edit for an entire season and you hate them and then the next season comes and you're so excited to see them i mean remember camille grammar season one and then camille grammar season two season one she was the most most loathed person on bravo like people hated camille and then season two was like oh my god camille grammar i can't wait to see her oh my god icon yeah but camille camille changed? Like she changed it up cause she didn't want to be the most hated. So she went from being villainous, like just downright dirty.
And then the second season, she kind of changed her game. Whereas I think someone like Reba is more heroic in a way because she didn't change shit except she smiled once.
And so people are like, Oh my God. Okay.
Maybe she's just kidding. And so they liked her.
Yeah. So everyone's packing up to leave Augusta.
So we got some bonus Reba time, essentially. And Garcelle's like, I don't like this view.
It's like, it's what view? Your ass in my face. No.
So then they laugh and everything. And then we go back over to Beverly Hills.
And Erica is, like, she's getting an install with some furniture.

And something called Harbor comes and delivers some chairs.

And she's like, I love Harbor.

Harbor is so nice.

And now with my promo code, you can get Harbor chairs for 65% off.

That's right.

That's Harbor.

Harbor by Erica Jane.

Collab.

She should be doing hot dogs because I've never seen somebody say,

I want my once in the year.

I'm sorry. off.
That's right. That's Harbor.
Harbor by Erica Jane. Collab.
She should be doing hot dogs because I've never seen somebody say, I want my once in a year hot dog. More times than Erica did today.
Like, are you selling the hot dogs? Jesus woman, have your hot dog. I can't wait to have my hot dog.
My once a year hot dog. Hot dogs are having a moment on Bravo, I guess, between this and Southern Hospitality.
Yeah, but she should be selling hot dogs i would eat them i would i would go track her down and have an erica jane hot dog now there's a commercial that makes sense erica with just hot dogs being thrown at her face you know finally i want my once a year kosher beef hot dog brand i will not say until i get some endorsement money but you know who who you are, Shebrew Shashnil. So then we go over to Doritoum.
And she's talking to Bose and inviting her over for the Fourth of July party. And so then we are back with Sutton.
So Sutton is in the kitchen. And Avi is just ready to get the fuck out of this house.
Avi is just like, please get me away from this woman. And Kyle comes in and she's still sweating from her run, guys, because she's really healthy now.
It's really hard. I'm still sweating because I run.
You know, and then Kyle says, by the way, Sutton, we have like a little confession. And then Reba walks in from the outside, but no one notices that Reba's there.
And son's like, what's your confession? Garcelle says, well, we were listening to your conversation with Reba. That bitch.
Glad she's not here. Rest in peace.
Anyway. So it sounded like it went well.
And like, oh, my God, you made up with your mom.

And she's there.

She's just suddenly there in the room.

And she goes, wow.

Well, hello.

She goes, well, it sounds like you had a fun time chatting.

You sound chatty this morning.

Seemed chatty this morning, which is could not.

See, what's great about Reba is that she can deliver a very simple line and make it so devastating. You seem chatty this morning.
I was like, oh, she really she can really just like fill it with so much nuance. And sounds like this trip has been emotional and it's just going to be hard to leave because I haven't felt this way with my mother since sophomore year in college when, you know, mama came when we walked, we talked.
I just I didn't want her to leave then either. And I don't want to I don't want to leave now.
What happened on the sophomore year in college? Can I was you? Was she drunk? Where your mom was nice to you that one time? I about to say, I think that was the last time Reba acknowledged Sutton's presence. So Kyle's like, are you going to be happy to have the chaos gone? Like, it's going to be sort of sad to have like two working actresses out of your house, right? And Garcelle's like, yeah, are you going to cry that you're going to miss us, especially me? And she says, well, I'll be glad that some of you are gone.
But then laughs she's like ha ha ha i'm just joshing you so look everybody's just so close now and um it's time for them to leave and kyle's like normally hold on guys this is a feel sorry for kyle moment everybody normally i'd be excited to leave but now i just have like a big empty house so like yay me a chair stuck in a doorway can't be moved or kyle don't cry out loud please stop singing in my home jesus christ those columns are strong but not strong enough the roof will cave in on us oh what i'd give to hear garcell's chattiness right now but um uh yeah kyle trying to make a moment out of this let's try to like oh back to my empty home of shadows and sadness oh relax just call faye she'll come over so then um son's really happy that everyone got to meet reba and everything and sudden pulls reba little hug. And she goes, OK, mother, I'm going to hold you once a year and you get to say I love you.
And Reba's like, really? Now, when's that going to be? Because it's not going to happen right now. And she's like, well, I guess Christmas.
I mean, that's a good time. And she goes, well, I'll write it down and hold a little sign up.
How's that? I don't remember my mother saying that to me. And she's like, OK, okay well let's not let's not go back into your mother's history okay uh i love you mother and she goes i love you too sutton and they're like what fireworks go off in the background and then she just kind of gives a bow like there are you fucking happy i did it and they're all so happy and sutton is happy and kyle is like oh my god it just reminds me that

there's no one to tell me that they love me when i go back to my house that's empty

reminds me of the time mauricio taught me he loved me let's see pictures of us skiing together in

house man so they hug and listen i know i'm being cold to kyle i get that she's sad and she's lonely

because her house is empty you left your husband i don't don't know with Kyle. You're in the middle of some woman's house in the South and you're still making it about.
I'm so alone. All alone.
So Sutton's basically like, well, she said it. I have succeeded in hearing the three words I think I've ever wanted to hear from one person i love you so um they all do like a hug and it's like a group hug and reba is actually it's actually really cute because they all hug reba and you can tell that reba's probably like oh this is so tried and inappropriate and we don't need to hug just we actions we don't need to hug to show that we like people.
It's our actions that tell it.

But when they come out of the hug,

she has a big smile on her face.

She liked it.

Yeah, her boyfriend's going to be getting some tonight.

That Ken guy or whatever his name was.

And then, you know, she does

the real sweetest thing in the whole time, which I miss

my meemaw doing, which is when they say bye

like they're a baby asking for a bottle.

They go, bye-bye.

Bye-bye. get out of here so uh back in los angeles we're at bose's house and uh what's but i forget bose's nico he's just sitting on the side like holding up a little mirror we find out later he's actually bedazzling it but i thought he was just looking at himself in a little mirror i was like oh nico this cracked me up i think this is you know in character development moments this is a huge one for bows that she makes her assistant bedazzle mirrors from walgreens so that there's drools i thought that was so fucking funny so she's waiting for a cousin her cousin comes over and they're like sisters me and my cousin and look at that mirror all i'm saying is the back of my mirror needs to match my shine so yeah tina comes in that's her cousin and uh they say hi and everything and they comment on the mirror etc and they're like 10 months apart in age so they're very close even though she's not a sister she's like a sister.
So she says, Tina and I talk so much that I think sometimes we talk telepathically.

I can be by text.

It could be by text.

It could be by phone call.

It could just be a mind meld. And guess what I tell her?

I invented ESP.

Congratulations.

You're using my personal network of mind talking.

She's doing that thing where she's putting gold flakes in their tea, which is or whatever they're having their drinks why don't what is it with gold flakes i mean i get it i hear that silver like if you go to the chiropractor he'll give you liquid silver and that's supposed to do something i don't know for health so i don't even know but what does gold even do except give you a little speck in your poop it just makes people feel fancy but look you know what it's better than mercury so bose is like well yes better than botulism better than e-cola so i don't know why i said it like that but felt fun so they're having a beverage okay there's a lot of hellos here we're going through it here okay so bo's is like okay well i don't know where to start look so there's so much on my mind i mean so many things have been happening because i'm a mature woman you would assume that i have to get checked out to see if i'm still viable to carry a baby and keely's ready right so she's basically having some doubts about whether or not she should be carrying a baby at her age you've got nico i say put it in nico that's that's what i suggest it'll come out wearing like a fabulous little duster and have a bedazzled mirror um so they haven't met with a fertility doctor yet but she's in vegas and she's flying here because, you know, LA, no, no fertility doctor. It's important.
It's important to go to a different city to get your fertility doctor. Yeah.
It's a shame that there's no fertility doctor, fertility doctors in Los Angeles. Uh, you know, but luckily, luckily it is hard to find a fertility doctor in LA that isn't there waiting at birth for the baby to pop out so they can start marking up its face with a Sharpie and being like, you need to get higher boobs.
Okay, I'm going to need higher boobs from you. To be fair, it seems like there is only one fertility doctor in LA because they all seem to go to him on these shows.
Like MJ went to him and everyone, everyone does with that one guy in Beverly Hills. He's like, so we looked at your follicles and you can have a baby.

So, like, maybe he was booked.

Yeah, he's the Instagram one.

He's like whatever people get free fertility shit for posting on Instagram or whatever.

So she's going to have a very fancy one.

But the problem is Keeley.

Because, you know, Keeley is going to have to get tested, too.

He's going to have to get every kind of sample. Drip, drip, drip, drop, sample, sample.
That's what they're going to do to him. That was my favorite when she said, drip, drop, sample, sample.
So she's like, well, what if we don't get the results we want? And you're rich. You just morph the baby into whatever you want i mean can't we do things like gene gene designing and stuff where you like pick the genes that you want your baby to have or i don't know you can go through like sperm books and pick the perfect sperm and stuff i don't know you're rich enough you just figure out how to have the baby you want you know i feel like it's up to the poor people who don't we're stuck with whatever we get you know whoever you fuck is you end up with.
But I feel like with her kind of money, you can change that baby's looks, it's posture, it's, it's hobbies, everything in the, in the womb. Right.
I mean, there's a very simple answer, you know, at a certain point, you're so wealthy. All you do is this, you get it, you go to the store, you get a bonnet and a rattle, you give it to Nico and say, you're my baby.
Now just makeico the baby and just tell him he's not allowed to speak english for two years and then uh and then just enjoy it just just babe just make him make him the child yeah oh babies i don't know look if i was gonna go to a fertility doctor i would just be like fill me up with disappointment so i'm not phased later because i think like no matter what you do your kid's eventually going to come out and at some point it's going to go fuck you yeah well if it's a carom baby at least so then um tina's like well how does this keely guy feel she's like i don't know i called his number and someone with a different name answered but then i called it again and he answered so i'm not really sure that took a while to up. I do not trust Keely.
I don't trust him for two seconds. So basically, Bo's is like, part of me wonders, like, does he want to get off the train? But then is afraid he'll disappoint me by wanting to get off the train.
But like, basically, it's just like, maybe we shouldn't have a baby. And then she tells the story about her first

pregnancy. Her daughter was named Eve.
And she found out she had preeclampsia and it was, you know, became a high risk pregnancy. And ultimately she lost the baby and it was very, very traumatic.
And then when she had Lael, like that entire pregnancy was very scary because every time she went to the doctor it was was like, it was, it was like PTSD and, and terror. And so she's wondering if she should do it again, to which I say, no, don't do this.
Don't do this again. Get a, get a, get a surrogate, but like, don't put yourself through that.
Don't put yourself through that agony and put your body through that, that danger. I know we live in a time where everybody can have babies whenever they want.
You know, we have Kenya Moore having a baby at 50 or whatever. And, you know, to each their own.
I'm very tired. I'm almost 50.
I mean, I've always been very tired, though. So I can't imagine having a baby when I was like 16, you know, but especially now.
And then in 20 years or whatever, when you have to go visit that kid's college or whatever. No, fuck that.
Here's what I say. Just get more maids.
You know? Just keep getting maids. Just keep treating them well.
Teach them. You know? Be like, your piano class is today.
I believe the housekeepers are the future. Well, for real, though.
Seriously. I had to just put bonnets on anything.
Little baby bonnets on anything. Make them your children.
But yeah, I agree. Bring your daughter to work day.
It's like, and look, watch the way they can fold a diamond into toilet paper. You go.
You show them, honey. So then we go to Kyle's house.
And Kyle is like, hey, Siri, how hot is it going to be today? It's like, the National Weather Service has issued an excessive warning. Daytime temperatures will hover around 94 degrees unless you live at home and alone, in which case it will be a cold 55 degrees.
Sorry. This just in, we just got the weather.
You're alone. There we go, Siri! Sadness with a chance of bleakness.
So Sutton is getting her glam done because I'm going to Dorit's house and she's having a 4th of July barbecue party. And they're like, wow, that should be fun.
She goes, well, we're going to play nice. Let's do it for the country.
And so then we go to Erica's. Has it worked so far? Huh? Has it worked so far playing nice for the country? these days in our country.
And so then we go to Erica's. Hasn't worked so far.
Huh? Hasn't worked so far playing nice for the country. These days in our country.
A little political commentary, people. Discord.
So then we go to Erica's cabana. And she's calling Kyle, because you know, it's the housewives thing where they're each calling each other like, are you going to the party? What are you going to the party? I'm going to the party.
Are you going? Are you going to wear a bikini or one piece so we're doing that scene and erica's like are you excited for today i just got a couch made out of nathan's hot dogs from my furniture erica you're mixing your influencer jobs it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin's commercial have you ever wondered how a circus performer could become the most powerful woman in the Byzantine Empire? Even the Royals is a podcast from Wondery that pulls back the curtain on royal families, from ancient empires to modern monarchs, to show you the darker side of what it means to be royalty. Before she ruled an empire, Theodora was a teen sensation in circus shows, featuring dancing bears, burlesque performers, and blood-soaked chariot races.
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So, by the way, what was it that Boz said to Kathy and everybody that you told me off camera but now i'm gonna bring it up on camera because i want to start a hate campaign against her oh she said you were kind of colder and we see a flashback to the kathy dinner where boz is like she was kind of cold to me so kyle's like i mean i'm the cold one now yeah you're now you're the iceberg now i the iceberg? Are you saying I'm kind of like the unspoken star of the hit movie Titanic? I mean, I appreciate it as a working actress. I appreciate getting another notch on my IMDb, but that is so mean.
And also kind of like deserving because like, honestly, I am pretty famous. No, because I'm the ice queen.
I thought you could be the iceberg and then we could hang out together. Get it? No, but Kyle has to talk to you because she has no one left.
So she just hangs up. The ice queen and her sidekick in Iceberg.
It doesn't totally make sense, but sure, we'll go with it. Just their cousin that no one wants to hang out.
Just the iceberg lettuce, the head of iceberg lettuce, just sitting over there like like i don't have any vitamins it is funny the more you think about it the funnier it gets because you think of erica being an ice queen on some sort of like icy throne with like maybe a white fur thing and a scepter and like blue crystalline things around her and then kyle is an iceberg in the water. Kyle's just iceberg lettuce floating in the water.
She has a little fascinator that's just a leaf of iceberg lettuce. So then we go to Dorit's house, and she's setting up for her Fourth of July party.
And there's a snow cone thing and a bouncy house. And so basically Phoenix comes out and she's dressed all cute and stuff.
She's like, oh, look at the theme. Red, white, and blue.
My little pickle. Should we look around and see everything? Let's have a look, BB.
Don't name your daughter after something that goes on a Fourth of July hot dog.. My little mustard and my pickle.
Oh, come over here. Let's look at the bouncy castle.
The house that PK still has a part of. They'll be out of here.
Yeah. Who ate my pickle? Are you allowed to celebrate 4th of July while also celebrating a fake British accent? It feels like it's a mixed message there.
It's a day of sorrow for me and my people. Well, some of them.
We're celebrating independence from my accent. she's like, you know, I've always made a big deal out of holidays with the kids.
And then we see these photos, which I can't believe we've never seen these photos before. But family photos, first of the four of them dressed like the Addams family.
And then as the Incredibles, which is funny to see PK dressed as Mr. Incredible because it's just not someone I would associate with that concept.
And then just the Christmas photos. Like I.
Like I had no idea that they were low key doing these family portraits. And now I know even more why Kyle doesn't like Dorit because Kyle likes to be the one that takes the family portrait with her family.
It's like, what are all these pictures of Halloween? You know, it's like really sticking her. So then she's like, oh my God, it's like all the pictures from the movie Halloween.
I'm not in any of them. So then Dorit's guests start coming and we don't know any of them really.
And then Dorit is very sad, waxing about PK. She goes upstairs to change and she's like, this here, PK is not here.
And it differently feels like there's something missing. I've just left sour cream and onion out on the countertop still nothing it's like coming down on christmas morning and finding no cookies eaten is santa did um and then so sudden arrives first so jori goes upstairs to do she's wants to find a necklace she wants to go upstairs and put on a necklace Sutton arrives and she walks in and it's just emptiness.
Like there's no one in the, there's no one in the first floor. There's some kids running around outside and Sutton who is, you know, on top of the fact that she's also very, very all about manners.
So, uh, the fact that there's no one there to greet her is very offensive, but then that she has to also wait is also very offensive. And she just starts muttering to herself.
She's like, well, the idea that I would have people come to my house and I'm not there to greet them or Avi is not there to greet them and someone's just not there. I mean, a roach isn't even here to greet me.
I mean, this just boggles my brain. I guess I'll just wait.
I guess I'll just wait. So she sits down, not even on the couch.

She's sitting on an end table.

What is she sitting on?

But she's like, I will not even sit on that couch.

God knows what's happened on that couch.

So she just sits on like a little end table or something and looks at her phone.

It's like a showy display of discomfort.

Like, well, I'm not going to sit on the couch unless I'm invited to sit on the couch.

So I'll just find something that I just, I'll be here in the corner, minding my own business.

Because clearly I'm not welcome here. So I don't want to disrupt the seating area too much yeah and you know Dorit's upstairs looking for a stupid chain she's like I'm just looking for a booty chain and I don't want to leave people downstairs but I've got to find my chain and so it's just like well I I'll just sit.
No one's here to invite me onto

the couch. So I guess I'll sit on this end table.
I just don't appreciate this. And then we get a

classic Dorit making somebody wait scene where we just see the person get more and more annoyed as

the time ticks on on the screen. And now it's 122 and then it's 127 and then it's 130.
And then she

sees a kid fall down the inflatable slide and she's like, I don't know those people. Disgusting.
And now it's 1.35pm and Sudden now has nothing left to do. I guess she solved Wordle so now she needs other activities and she's like, well I really should study the California map.
I was like, wow, things are getting really dire down there. I'm going to study geography while I wait.
So now it's 1.39. And so it's basically 20 minutes and still there's no one to greet her.
I mean, I can see being annoyed. If she got annoyed at this point, I would be like, okay, I get it.
But she walked in annoyed. Like, how could you not have somebody to greet Oh, quiet down over there.
You're lucky that the house is even still standing and hasn't been taken yet by the bank. Okay.
I honestly think like, yes, she was being a little fussy, like really leading into the manners aspect of I should be greeted. But I think that honestly, after five minutes, I think you like like you have every right to be extremely annoyed that you're just sitting there.
I mean, you could even say after three minutes, if you're just sitting there in someone's house, they haven't even come down to say hello. And you're just, you're like, like, what do I do? I'm just going to sit here.
I mean, a lot of people would just say, Hey, Dorit, I'm here or text her or whatever. So there is that aspect of it.
But making someone just wait downstairs for 10 minutes, let alone 20 minutes.

The horror.

The horror.

It's crazy.

I think it's totally disrespectful.

Well, there's also a whole party outside that sounds just like, I'm not talking to those people.

I mean, if I was at that party, I would have gone out and been like, hello, I'm Mayor Ronnie.

Is this your baby?

Let me hold it.

Anyone want to take a picture of us?

I'll take your vote in September. Thank you.
Voting is in November, sir. Not for my election.
I know. Let's be honest.
You would be holding all those babies. You would have been hugging.
Yeah, I mean, it's a party. You know, you go in and you say hi to everybody, but it's setting.
So she's like, well, I guess I'll just sit here with a stick firmly planted up my butthole, and I will wait an end table. I would do the same thing because I'm like, I don't want to go outside and talk to make conversation with a child or the child's mother or whatever.
I'm just I'm going to sit in the air conditioning inside because it's 100 degrees out. At the very least, it's a chance to go through someone's shit.
You know what I mean? Or if it's your enemy, you can start planting evidence around their house for your murder. I don't know.
Put their wallet, put your wallet in their like vegetable bin in their fridge. And then later she could be like, someone stole my wallet.
Wait a minute. It's by the iceberg in the fridge.
And Colin would be like, wait a minute. Now, well, one thing though is that Dorit's mom we find out in a little bit is actually there.
So is Dorit's upstairs because it seems like Sutton knows Dorit's mom so Sutton could have gone up to Dorit's mom and started chatting with her and having small talk but honestly yes she could do all these things it's still wrong I'm sorry it's still wrong because if I go to someone's house and then I have to make 20 minutes of small talk with someone I don't really know but i like met passing like i would be like oh my god this is so annoying this sucks i'm mad now yeah i can't i can't sugarcoat it i would be mad yeah i wouldn't care so um dorit's like i just need another jean i need one that says mama so she wears one that says mama you know so then um now carl is there. And, you know, first of all, you know that the mom called Dorit upstairs and was like, the bitch is here.
And she's like, oh, let's make her wait. You know, I have a feeling that they knew very well that Sutton was there and just made her wait.
The mom's like, don't make me go out there alone. She's like, okay.
So now Kyle's there. And she's like, oh, should I wear this? Like, I'm feeling self-conscious.
Should I put a shirt over my sleeveless thing? I just didn't get a spray tan. Yeah.
And then she sees that there's like this table, not a turtle. There's a table right in the middle of the foyer.
And it has all these photos of PK and Dorit. And she's like, oh, man, what is this? A shrine? This looks like an anniversary party.

And so I was like, oh, I didn't even see this.

I didn't know I was even allowed to look at it

because I had no one here to greet me

to show me what I can and cannot look at in this household.

So I've just been sitting here

on the corner of the couch.

Like, listen, I still have pictures up of Mo and me also,

but like not at a round table as you enter the home.

Okay, like there's like a shrine to PK.

Seems like a little strange.

I mean, okay, but weren't you mad that,

I'm sorry. not at a round table as you enter the home.
Okay. Like there's like a shrine to PK.
It seems like a little strange. I mean, okay.
But weren't you mad that Mauricio changed one picture in his own office? Weren't you just crying about that for three episodes? I have to assume that Dorit has kept those pictures up there because she wants to keep normalcy for the children. Honestly.
Yes, it is. So when Wells Fargo comes to take back the house, she can go, he's the one you need to be chasing.
Him! It's this one right here. So Kyle's like, so have you said hi yet to Dorit? She's like, to whom? And then she's like, look, look at all this emptiness.
So then Dorit's still upstairs, and she has now chosen her chain chain and the chain she has chosen is one that says, mama. She's like, I wish I had another chain.
So then Sutton is still being ignored because now Kyle goes to talk to Dorit when Dorit comes downstairs and Sutton's like, well, I'll just sit here and do the same thing I've been doing. Stewing.

Glad I could come.

Glad.

Can I leave now?

Can I go now?

I have never been so offended.

I'm leaving.

I'm leaving.

Not quite, but she will get there soon.

So Kyle's doing the whole like, oh, my God.

Look at all the pictures of PK.

Jesus Christ.

I mean, it looks like biscuits cooking. Could you just take all these pictures down?

I'm trying not to eat carbs right now.

She's like, thanks for making me look at it, Kyle.

Thanks a lot.

And so Dorit talks a little bit to the mom.

You know, the mom comes in and says hi.

And Dorit's like, well, seeing Kyle in Sutton be the first to arrive at the party is a little bit awkward.

They were definitely not my first choice to arrive. In the spirit of having fun, that's exactly what we're going to do.
By the way, look how cute Sutton's bag is. Look, oh my god, it's a bag.
We're bringing it with the Patriot. And Sutton's like, well, we're trying to bring the red, white, and blue look.
And Sutton's like, oh, I'm sorry. This is so kind of you.
And she takes the bag away, like sort of jokingly like, this is mine now. Because, you know, they're all obsessed with bags.
And she's like, well, I think you owe it to me. And Sutton's like smiling, like, ha, ha, ha.
She goes, I most certainly do not. She's like, no, you most certainly do.
And then it becomes clear that Dorit may not actually be joking. She's actually being serious and holding on to that bag way longer than it needs to be held on to.
Listen, you're the only one out of the three of us that hasn't had expensive purses stolen for insurance purposes. Your turn.
It's like, nope, you better get that back. I mean, even though today is all about having fun, I can't ignore the tension between Sutton and I.
Last time I saw Sutton, she interrupted me when I poured my heart out about Jaegar. And then we see a flashback to her saying, And so, ladies and gentlemen, my children, they asked me, are mommy and daddy getting a divorce? Well, I'm so sorry.
This has been a lovely conversation, but we have to get back out on that one-on-one freeway. Okay, let's the sprinter van well i was in the middle of a story well we have to go and um what's her buns sutton said on the after show that production made her do that because dorit was sitting there giving a soliloquy and they were like uh gotta get on the road people um and dorit knows that and she's still giving Sutton shit for it.
Dun, dun, dun. Shady.

Yeah, I mean, what to say, a little weird. All right.
Got Christ's sake. Yeah.
Yeah. Kids, kids asked about divorce.
Didn't know what to say.

Little weird.

All right.

Got it.

Understood.

So she's like,

well,

I'd be prepared to forget about most things that certain has done or said to me.

If she gives me this handbag,

that bitch has a tight as grip.

So she won't give it up.

So now they go outside and Garcelle comes and kind of trips and she's like whoa geez biggest nightmare for any real housewife is tripping and falling on camera i i don't know what i would have done if garcelle had fallen over i don't think i would have liked to have seen that because they can't get back up their pants are too tight like their clothes are too tight like at one point uh when setton throws down her little tiara or whatever later and Kyle goes to pick it up I mean that was one of the best parts of the show for me watching Kyle try to bend down to get that thing she's like it is such a funny concept when Sutton threw the tiara on the ground and Kyle had to pick it up.

I mean, just saying that alone is kind of hilarious.

So Garcelle arrives and then we get this random shot, which was so funny, of Phoenix doing a grand jeté.

And then all the women are like clapping.

I just love the random moment of ballet happening in that arabesque.

That's so coming from my house when I was a little kid.

I knew my parents were friends.

Look what I can do.

Grand shit is.

Yeah, I did it for a while.

I thought I was a ballet dancer for a while because I saw it on TV.

And my mom was like, you could do anything, honey.

And, you know, it's a kind of confidence.

It gets people put in jail, you know, just show up on the stage one day. It's me! Rondal Bereshnikov.
I still do many grand jatés and arabesques and patmas for dame. I don't do them very to be, I try to be a little dancer myself every now and then.
Oh, there you go. Keep it in the bedroom.
It's mainly in the kitchen while I'm cooking. Don't say game, okay? Yeah.
I have to say my lines could use work. So Garcelle is, so Garcelle's like, oh, are you drinking honey and she goes oh it's some watermelon something oh is there alcohol in it yes okay gotcha so it's not tons so it seems like it's just like a little patter then dorico's oh didn't you ask sutton what she's drinking and you asked is there alcohol in it i I mean, honestly.
I thought that was funny, personally. And then Sutton's like, oh, Dorit, shut up.
You are such a bitch. She's like, excuse me.
And don't say there's alcohol. And there's alcohol in it.
I mean, don't start with that. It's not nice.
It's not nice. So Sutton's like like Dorit has never apologized for perpetuating a rumor or a myth that I have some sort of drinking problem just because I have alcohol with every single beverage I have every single day.
And then we see a montage of Dorit saying, gee, Sutton is a drinker and I would not be surprised if she pours a little vodka in her coffee in the morning. I mean, that shit's funny to me.
It's always been funny to me. I don't care.
And also, while everybody's so infuriated about this, let's not forget who brought this story up in the first place was Kyle. This was Kyle who made this insinuation to start.
So Sutton's like, that is just hurtful, you know? And two, it's not true. And now she's just being a bitch to be a bitch.
So Doreen's like, well, if you could do me a fever and not call me a bitch in my own home. This becomes a real sticking point.
So he goes, well, don't start with the vodka stuff. It's not nice.
And I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go..
So Dory's like, Sutton, I'm not looking to argue with you with,

with what I just said.

I just said,

don't call me a bitch in my home for fuck's sake.

Well,

I'm so sick of fighting with you.

Thank you for having me.

Seriously.

Thank you for having me.

I'm going to go.

I'm going to go.

Well,

I'll just call you a bitch and go.

Is that what we're doing now?

Bitch and boy.

And so I'm out. I am out.
Is anybody going to anybody gonna follow me because i am leaving i'm leaving right now who gave her that little tiara by the way she wasn't wearing that when she got there was she i just wearing this little gold tiara the whole time i think the tiara somehow arrived between the living room and the cabana like they clearly walked through some sort of children thing or another and the tiara was placed um i but like clearly if the way i read it just because i know how i operate and i unfortunately am as we've already kind of discussed i'm much more aligned with sutton and her emotional swings than i'd like to admit this is not not about the alcohol. This was her being still pissed

that she waited 40 minutes before Dorit

even acknowledged her. And so she was

so mad about that, that just like the alcohol

thing was just something that she could like grasp onto

and just explode on.

Well, she does get super mad when you

talk about her drinking, though. And you know who else does

that, which is odd? Alcoholics.

So anyway, Kyle's like,

son, please don't go. Please don't go.

And she's like, why? Why?

I'm not going to get anywhere with her. I'm not going to do this.
I mean it. I mean it.
I am leaving. I'll leave in as much time as she made me wait.
Okay, that's how long this walkout's going to take. Yeah, so Carson's like, well, you know, she's a little sensitive after the coffee vodka remark.
She's also, let's face it, probably drunk from her breakfast. Dorit's like, well, I'm a little sensitive, Garcelle.
She's like, well, that being said, can I get a watermelon vodka? Garcelle's like, I don't care. Just bring me one.
Bring me one. Also, Dorit's the one who saw no problem when she, the table went you know what camille you're a stupid cut fitness and now she's like you've calling me a bitch in my own home but it wasn't in camille's home so silly i hate that rule you can't call me a bitch in my own home then don't be a bitch in your own home like what do you want me to do you don't you don't get free reign just because it's your house to abuse me and call me an alcoholic how dare you ma'am not on america's birthday so to read it's like are you kidding me carcel and kyle are running after her not even a thought not even a consideration from either one of them no run after crybaby.
Make sure you have a drink in your hand. Well, you know, that's...
That's fine. That's funny.
But also, we just watched like five years of you guys all doing this with each other to anyone who like disrupted the Fox Force 5. So now you get to see what it feels like for us.
Yeah. Commercials.
Here comes one right now so it's like lordy have mercy so now sudden's almost made it to the front door and kyle's running after her you know in those tight ass jeans like oh hold on hold on you just hear i'm trying to run but it's really hard can we just talk Can we just talk for one second? It's like, what? What? Garcelle's like, listen, I know you didn't want to come here, and you were the bigger person. You came.
Good for you. I'd like to celebrate it by awarding you a drink with alcohol in it.
Here you go. It's all right.
I've already had six. Listen, if she's going to fucking do this shit, I'm going to go.
So Carsel's like, no, I get it. I get it.
So I haven't heard Sutton talk like this. She's, she's pissed and I think wasted.
And I think it's because she wasn't getting along with Dorit, but she still wanted to take the high road and she came and then this is how you're coming at her. I'm like, okay.
I think Dorit was shitty for making Sutton wait. I think this thing about the booze, Dorit's reference was so subtle, so minor.
I didn't even pick up on it until Garcelle made a big scene about it. I was like, I thought Dorit was asking for clarification of what Garcelle asked.
Like, it was such a small, if that was a dig, it was so small. And the fact that Sutton is, like, losing her mind over it.
And I'm often Team Sutton with these stupid little fights. like I'm sorry this is too much yeah it's a lot I love when Garcelle says the most obvious thing to the audience but acts like she's just solved a mystery she's like I think that Sutton might be offended because she wanted to take the high road but now Dorit's acting like this oh wow that's good.
You're very sensitive. I like how Garcelle tries to start talking Sutton down.
She goes, listen, it was a bad joke. You know, she's not good at jokes.
She can't do jokes. She's very bad at jokes.
You know, she's bad timing. Just, it's not good.
It's not, she needs to go to Groundlings or something. You know, it's her.
She's just trying. She is not joking.
So, Boaz comes up in a crazy dress. I don't know where half these people are going on this show.
But she shows up in like a little baby blue kind of like wedding cocktail dress. And she's like, hello, it's me.
And she goes, excuse me, bitches. And they're like, oh, no, no, don't use that word today.
We're we're not gonna start with that word they literally like that just that word just started a bunch of shit and and it should be noted at this point sutton kyle and garcelle are gathered at like a little bench right by the front door so they're all clustered right there so pose is like what's going on here so then sutton's like ah it's too much so she slinks away from the She goes to hide behind the corner. Yeah, I think it's like the hallway to the classroom or something like that.
So she's like, I'm going to stay in here. She goes to hide in the hallway.
It's so fucking funny. And so Boza's like, what's going on? You started something I tell? She goes, no, why are you saying me? She goes, I was just joking.
I said bitches. No, no, don't say it.
so dorit comes in and she's like oh posy man hugs her and she's like honestly perfect timing i was waiting for normal to arrive and good energy and then my little easter egg came thank you so kyle's like um guys can we just like try to hit the reset button maybe and garcellelle's like, it was just a really bad joke. She's like,

no, and I know you're sensitive, Sutton. I know this feeling.

We know this feeling. And she goes,

well, what she did last year,

what she put me through,

no, no.

I'm gongo. Gongo.
Gongo.

I am gongo.

So Garcelle's like, we understand.

We really do. I was being

nice about getting that nasty-ass watermelon drink. It was terrible.
Garcelle's like, we understand. We really do.
I was being nice about getting that nasty-ass watermelon drink. It was terrible.
Garcelle's like, oh, it's not good. I just ordered one.
Yeah, I mean, it was such a weak drink. I mean, what's even the point of having it? So she's like, well, just hang on now.
Can't we just all get another nasty drink? Come on. And it's like done I am done Sutton just settening so then Sutton rips off her gold tiara and throws it on the floor she's like that thing is stupid and Garcelle's like a kid can get hurt with that Sutton please let's be serious the last thing this world needs is more kid on tiara violence so Sutton's like fine I, I'll go pick it up.
So Kyle's like, no, I'll do it. I'll do it.
I need to do a squat. So they go pick up this tiara and everything.
And Garcelle's like, all right, listen, Sudden, would you be willing to talk to Dereach? Because no, no, I'm not going to talk to her. I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of knowing her dis about me.
And that watermelon drink got to me because it did not most certainly get to me whatsoever so but what if she apologizes and carl's like i'll say something i'll do it i'll say something so now she's going to talk to dorit and she's like oh my god it's not lost on me that saturn was berating me for leaving boza's wellness day and now she wants to walk out? She does that thing with her head and crosses her eyes. Yeah, but she was berating you because you were berating her in the first place for doing walkouts.
See, it's hard to find where this all begins. Who was the first immature storm out? We have to go all the way back in history.
Yeah. But that being said,

Sutton was the one who most recently said that you can't be storming out.

I mean,

Sutton's a hypocrite.

Let's,

I mean,

yeah,

it sounds like she did the whole sisterhood thing.

Don't storm out.

And then she was the first one to betray the sisterhood and,

you know, storm out.

So we get it.

But this is funny.

I don't care.

I love it.

And I love a housewife walkout.

I love,

especially this show,

this season they're doing and where they never really walk off. They walk to a different room like i will sit right here i'm gonna be by the front door i'm gonna show her i'm gone yeah this this whole thing of them all clustered by that front door and the throwing the tiara and the back and forth it actually i was like this show is starting to approach a little bit of some Salt Lake City chaos.

And Beverly Hills never goes in that space. I was really, really enjoying the silliness that was happening here, this foyer fight.
So now we go to Kyle and Torit. So she's like, can I talk to you for a second? I don't think she's going to stay without some encouragement from you.
I don't know if you want to do that or not. It's like, well, it sounds like the two of you,

more than anyone, are going to be the people that are going to get her to stay now it's certainly not going to be me she called me a beach and guess where she did it in me own home what would Jennifer Lopez think what would Mark Anthony think sure this isn't their home but I've lived in one of their homes they'd be very upset that someone at their former address has been called a beach in their own home do me a favor don't do that sisterhood remind her of that that she's the one who's pledging the sisterhood so dorita walks away she's like my cooler friend is here now so i'm gonna hang out with bows so then he goes i mean she called me a bitch in my own home I should be kicking her out but gee instead she's the victim I wasn't the one who brought this up last year and then we go to a flashback of last year of Kyle Garcelle Darit Crystal Camille Grammer everyone standing around Kyle's bar and talking about Sutton's drinking and Garcelle saying do you think there's something wrong with her and this is where Kyle says, well, I don't know. I don't know if it's your first drink or your fifth.
So, yep, it was Kyle who started it. I mean, we knew that, but it was nice to see the validation right there.
But you know what? It's also Sutton just drinking too much and getting mad and having fits. I mean, I think if, listen, as someone who often drinks too much and cries a lot and has fits, when someone asks me if I have a problem with alcohol, I just say my only problem is that my glass is empty.
Could you please fix that? Like I don't care. Like who cares? I mean I just had a drunken fit.
Now is not the time to cry about it. You know what I mean? I think you shouldn't be so defensive about someone making an alcohol joke.
I think if someone called me an alcoholic, I would just respond with like a Sonia Morgan tagline. I would just be like, I have a taste for luxury and luxury has a taste for me.
We're just burping their face, you know, keep it simple. Or just say, you know, I'm often on top, but sometimes I like being a bottom.
Then people are like, wait, okay, that's not anything to do with anything, but I'm just going to back away slowly.

So Dorit's like,

why are you making such a huge deal of rejuke?

Unless,

of course,

there's something very big underneath the surface,

the surface,

the surface.

Like an iceberg?

I'm an iceberg.

Well,

why isn't it,

then why isn't it kind of a joke that she said, shut up, bitch? I mean, who cares? Like, why are you taking the word bitch so seriously? I don't know. Everyone's so ridiculous.
And that's why I love this show. Because it literally becomes the entire episode.
Fighting over this stupid stuff. And Sutton, guess what Sutton's saying? I'll give you $100 if you can guess.
You can't? She's going, I am leaving. I am leaving.
Gongo. I am leaving.
Gongo. I am Gongo.
Hello. Hey, does anyone have a little sticker that says, hello, my name is? Because mine would say, hello, my name is Gongo.
Hi, I just tried to play into Africa because I'm going to go visit the Republic of Gongo. So, no, I'm sorry.
That would be if I wanted you to stay. I'd say, please, you can't go.

No, I'm going to go.

No, can't go.

Can't go.

Can't go.

Damn it.

Beat me my own game.

So, I mean, this whole episode is kind of playing like some sort of stage farce, right?

Because it's crazy.

And then the door swings open and here's Erica to make her entrance. She's like, hello, everyone.
Wait a second. What's everyone doing here in the foyer? I'm wearing two straw braids and we're furnished by Nathan's Harbor.
Everybody. Hey, that's all.
Okay, everyone. Don't hug me.
I got body makeup on. So what's going on here? What's everyone talking about? Why are you all sitting on a bench here by the foyer and Sutton's just like I'm gonna go and Erica's like oh my god I haven't even gotten past the front doors of some of these audience teams I don't want this I just want a hot dog my once yearly hot dog where is it where is it okay so what's going on tell me it quickly because I gotta get to the hot dog and uh sounds like well to re brought up the whole vodka thing she was oh yeah yeah you being an alcoholic and a drunk well we all know that you know and she's like well and i do appreciate it and i don't i don't appreciate it i should say and i don't want to perpetuate the myth that i don't want to be around someone and i don't want to be around someone who's going to do that i can't speak speak straight because I'm a little drunk right now, but you know what I'm saying? The myth.
The myth that Sutton's a drunk. So now Kathy comes in and she's like, hello.
And meanwhile, Boles is like, is that Kathy? Why is everybody over there by the door? She goes, because that's what Sutton does. She gets him upset, calls you a bitch, and then gets him to surround front duels.
Well, I feel like I don't want to be left out. I'm going to go over there.
I'm going. So she comes in there and she's like, can we all just enter the house? Well, she's leaving, she said.
Now, listen, here's what I want. My once-year hot dog.
And at this point, I'm waiting for Jennifer Tilly to walk in. Jennifer Tilly is like MIA all of a sudden, because's like it's like felt like every two seconds someone else is walking through like I'm here wait what's going on so um Bo's like it's just you know like why don't you just come into the house it's like well I am not comfortable here it's like yeah she was in the house now she's leaving the house apparently she's just trying to get her to either go out the door or just come back into the porch.
But we're kind of stuck in this floor place right now. We're waiting for the prop woman to give us a bottle of Tito's to leave in the driveway.
So she actually makes it out the front door. No offense.
It's her own kind of Hansel and Gretel moment. Just leave a little trail of vodka on the gravel.
It's little blue cheese olives along the ground all the way to Sutton's house it's the only way she gets her exercise so then um Bose is like well come on the congregate here at the front it's like Dorit is hosting a party in here can we go to the party and Garcelle goes oh stop being Dorit's spokesperson okay ma'am in charge of the office of theack. I don't think you're really in the place, but...
Yeah, Garcelle rarely has a really strong hypocrite moment, but this was one of them. And Boaz is like, girl, I am not to read spokesperson.
Sounds like it. Well, it looks rude.
And all right, you know what? You want to cuddle her? Then you cuddle her. So Boaz is like, I am pissed that these ladies don't have any cooth to at least get up.
That she said it made me laugh. I even said it to Bueller today.
I was like, Bueller, get some cooth. They don't have any cooth to at least get up and come into the party and behave like civilized people.
So now Kyle's like,

I mean, at this point,

it's just like actually annoying because like once again,

Bo's is team Dorit

without knowing any backstory.

And she just comes in

and automatically defends Dorit

without knowing anything.

Like, you're going to scold me.

And Bo's is like,

well, I just said like,

nobody needs to cuddle her.

And Dorit's like,

did you say that?

Did you say nobody needs

to cuddle that alcoholic? She's like, i try again please yes because she's being cuddled you're the hostess at the party and it looks rude for everybody to be over there when they could actually be over here now boz is correct although also this i mean this foyer is a really like uh the ground zero for for issues about etiquette because yes it is rude that they're there in the foyer and they should be coming to the party but it was also rude that they were there in the foyer and the host didn't come down to greet them so i mean and they're also all being rude by sitting there like slinging around the f word and the b word when there's children in the house like if we're just gonna start clutching our pearls i can clutch them with the best of them and i love when something's like she needs to stop that fucking shit i want some more fucking manners i think we can just safely say these are just all a bunch of rude people yeah it's beverly hills that's what's so funny about it and i think one of the long lasting classic things that keeps people coming back is that beverly hills they're rich so everybody assumes that means they're classy. No, they're trashy.

This is Los Angeles.

This is trash with money, okay?

And that's why it's so funny

because they all think they know what manners are.

And you all don't know manners.

And Dorit, you say you know manners,

you're married to PK.

I mean, if that guy's not a stain on a tablecloth.

Yeah, if you hit big time

while Wool and Grace was still on the air,

then you're not old money.

And this is just some nouveau riche

Thank you. yeah if if you hit big time while will and grace was still in the still on the air then you're not you're not old money and they are this is just some nouveau riche shit that's going down and i love it it's amazing it's classic although actually sudden sudden seems like she's sort of old money maybe oh no she's not i think actually her family is like middle class and then she married old money right but she just acts old money yeah they made money i think while I think, while they were together.
They built their empire. So Sutton, guess what Sutton's saying? It's nice to actually have Sutton have a change of topic, at least in this episode.
She goes, I am leaving. I'm leaving.
I'm not going to stay here. I'm going to go.
Well, she's now doing the thing like, well, now I've ruined the whole party. I've had a tantrum.
I threw a tear. I've ruined it.
I'm going to go. I'm embarrassed.
I'm going to. You haven't ruined it.
You're drunk. Come on.
Let's go to the back. She's like, no, I'm out.
I'm gone. Go.
Okay. I want to leave right now.
And I've had it with Dorit. She has gone after me for years.
I'm sorry that your businesses failed and mine have not. I'm sorry that you can't have a clean divorce.
And I have. I'm sorry for all of your problems, but your problems are not my problems, and I do not want to be your punching bag.
I am just tired of it. And this is where Sutton loses people.
She's such an asshole. Like, what are you even talking about? First of all, your business is not doing great.
You're selling jumpsuits that say, name them, for like God knows how much money. Your store in West Hollywood is closed.
I think she opened one in Texas or something. But you're doing that all with husband money.
I mean, come on, lady. Give me a break.
Sorry, your businesses can't last. I mean, come on.
You own Sutton. You type in Sutton right now, her store in West Hollywood.
Closed. Temporarily closed.
But I have a website. a website well guess what so does beverly beach you want to start that one yeah um so does gna but um uh yeah and honestly like it's fine if your business doesn't succeed but if you're gonna like actually act like you're a better person because your business has succeeded when actually your business is quote- temporarily closed like come on now but that being said love it i love an asshole you know what i was searching for businesses that also have websites and i searched kyle by aileen too and that did not show up it just showed up that it closed but guess what does have a website aileen too she just kept aileen too she She just kicked Kyle off of it.
You go. Aileen.

She's like, it's not Aileen 2. It's Aileen

only.

Aileen

2. Good for Kyle.

And she sells little kid shoes

with like rainbow unicorn

horn straps and

glitter shoes and, you know,

a couple of caftans. So you go Aileen

2. So how dare you disparage

Aileen 2, Sutton?

I'll see you next time. horn straps and glitter shoes and you know a couple of caftans so you go aileen too so how dare you disparage aileen too sudden i want to know about shahadi what's her name shahadi shahidi kyle by shahad kyle by shahad right kyle i don't remember kyle by shahida the lounge loungewear queen kyle by shahida is still around You can get it at kylebyshahida.com.
Okay? Loungewear, dresses, red jackets, eye patch things. Floppy pajamas.
Yeah, robes with Paris on them or something. No.
Kimonos. Wow.
She went down the kimono route. Hmm.
Interesting. Oh, yeah okay so um kathy's like did she really leave and garcella's like well yeah she did can i at least get a hot dog somewhere in oc emily's like they're coming after my lines emily's so mad um so now dorit's talking with her guest and everything.

And then Garcelle gets her hot dog.

I swear to God, if we mention hot dogs one more time,

I'm going to have to get a fucking hot dog after this podcast.

I am like craving one so badly.

So Kyle's like, oh my God, a cheeseburger.

Amazing.

Did I tell you that like my niece is like married to a fatburger?

Yeah.

So kids are jumping in the pool and Kathy's like, by the way, I brought a swimsuit with me thinking that we're going to go swimming. And then Rick goes, that swimsuit is way out of line.
Way too sexy. Way too sexy.
So then she sees some churros and she's like, oh, those look good. What are those tacos? Save me some of those.
Save me some of those. So now Erica and Garcelle are talking.

And basically they're regathering in that backyard area, right?

And so Erica's like, why'd the bitch leave?

And Garcelle's like, well, she didn't feel welcomed.

And Toreen's like, how am I supposed to feel in me own home

that she called me a bitch?

In me own home.

Somewhere in the hills of Encina, we hear an echo saying,

I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go.

I'm gonna go.

The two of them are just going to say those two things over and over again.

A bitch in my own home.

I'm gonna go.

Well, you did lead the charge, Dorit, when you said,

of course there's vodka in her drink.

And Boz goes, oh, well, and that equals calling her a bitch in the house? I mean, come on. Bitch in the house, alcoholic.
Two different things. Somebody walks in my house and calls me a bitch.
I say, those are fighting words and would you like to be my baby? And Kathy says, well, I don't think any of us are mean girls. I mean, maybe I'm just used to it.
I'm like, yeah, you kind of have like the most famous like mean girl daughter of all time

not saying that paris is mean but she just sort of like is the image i don't know why i'm suddenly

like hedging that i'm like i mean sorry guys sorry paris is really nice guys um so erica is like

well we are we are we're all mean girls you know so jory's like excuse me i need to check on my

bb's and see if they can still look me in the eye after I've been caught a beach in me. Oh, no.
Sonique Jagger, come to me. Unfortunately, Jagger is being transported to the hospital after he stepped on a tiara.
It's very sad. So big g that foot.
Um, where's my one kosher hot dog for the year? God damn it! Garcelle's like, can I get another watermelon drink, please? It was actually really good. So Erica goes up to the hot dog bar and she's like, what are those relish or is it just pickles? Hey, mister, I'm gonna steal your hot dog.
I'm gonna say the same thing to you as I said to Tom's ex. Stealing your hot dog, bitch.
Stay in line. Hate me later.
Sorry, it's my once-year hot dog, Tim. That should be the name of her next album, Hate Me Later.
Once-year hot dog should be the name of her next album. Hate me later.
My hot dog's like a python. I'm like a python.
There's a guy dressed like mustard dancing in the background. Look, I think it's great that y'all were there to support, but I think, again, in the spirit of sisterhood, can we all just rally around Dorit and Garcelle's like, well, where was your spirit of sisterhood when you came over to us and called us rude?

I'm like, okay, Garcelle.

She was not.

You're being ridiculous.

They're all ridiculous today.

I love it.

And Bose goes, that is being a sister that's coming to tell you to check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Well, I feel like every time you're telling us what to do about Dorit and you don't know about you don't know about the whole situation either well let me let me just put things in relative terms all right i call things as i see them hashtag goose and she goes well so do we so do we pie chart google sheets you know what i'm saying okay so erica's like all right guys now who's been upset and asked been her spokesperson since she got here a few years ago and erica's back on broadway so she's got red leather gloves and she's doing a lot of broadway hand things she's like and then we see some of uh garcelle's uh greatest hits as a mouthpiece which i can't believe we went back to diana j Jenkins land with Diana. Be like, you want a new villain? And Sutton's like, I'm very sorry about being on a bed rest.
Oh, your soul is so fake. And Garcelle goes, Diana, that's kind of shitty.
Oh, are you her bodyguard? I was like, oh, I forgot how awful Diana was. She was the worst.
So, you know, I mean, she has a point. Bo's is up Dorit's ass, but Garcelle is also up Sutton's ass.
So it's a weird fight. It's a weird proxy war.
But I love this kind of little argument between Bo's and Garcelle, because really, at the end of the day, neither one of them care. They're just like, whatever.
So they kind of fight it out. And Garcelle's like, well, it seems like you're one-sided.
I mean, did you not say that she's not been welcoming to you? And she goes, well, yeah. I mean, it's not like I think that Kyle's a cold-hearted bitch.
I didn't say that. I just said we haven't connected.
And Kyle's getting all. She's like, OK, it's my turn.
It's my turn. So she starts shaking her face a little.
And she's like, I mean, it's funny that you said that. Because actually, I felt the complete opposite.
opposite like at times the times we spent together i actually did feel like we had a great connection okay roll the clips roll the clips and it's kyle being like hi pose you see it's all like this light superficial stuff like i like your picture frame it's like yeah thank you yeah it's nice. See, we did connect.
So Kyle is like, I was just like really surprised to hear that. And it just like really hurt my feelings.

Well, part of the reason I asked Kathy because, you know, the way of it is just that like the reason why I thought you were called and, you know, I didn't want it felt like I didn't want to know you.

I wouldn't have asked shit.

And I feel like I've had deep conversations with almost everybody and I haven't necessarily had that with you.

And so that feeling for me is like oh car's a little distance she's a little cold i'm like kyle is not distant she's not cold she just has a very vapid personality and you're just not going to get a deep conversation out of her that's it that's all yeah you need to talk about purses you you know? Yeah. Shopping.
She can shop anywhere, guys. Yeah.
Talk about Birkins and she'll be there. So Boz is like, the vibes aren't vibing with Kyle, okay? She's not opened up to me.
There's no warmth. I just, what do I do with that? I mean, there's nothing to do.
Give me something to work with here. This is a television show, okay? Is this an improv class or solo? I'm not doing it and so then we see where kyle visited bows in bed like that's supposed to be a great example of kyle being warm but kyle was only there to turn bows against dorit in the first place so that didn't really work snappy she was sort of snappy with her too and so i know this fight is stupid but i think that bows going going to Kyle's sister and shit talking her sister was shitty.

I think that was shitty.

And I think Kyle was like, look, it hurt my feelings.

She went to talk to my sister.

That's not cool to do.

And if you have an issue or you want to get closer to me, why don't you call me and talk to me about stuff?

Like, I think that but Kyle just doesn't know how to argue, you know. So now Kyle is turning it into like, well, but I am warm and here's why i'm warm yeah i don't think i agree i actually i feel like we didn't really clock it at the moment because there was other stuff going on but it's not really cool to say to someone's sister even if you know the sister is like sort of on the outs you can't say like oh your sister is cold what you can say is i haven't really connected with your sister yet i would love to know what are some good like approaches i should take with her like what are the ways in how do i crack that nut a little bit but don't say your sister's cold um so kyle is like well i just feel like maybe i was being singled out because i'm single and i live in a house alone and like because of what was going on like dorita me and that like because you got to know her first that you like have like a loyalty like automatically to was, like, really clear from how you came up and scolded us out there.
I'm like, yeah, Kyle, but you wanted to do the same thing with Anna Marie last season. You literally brought in Anna Marie and was like, okay, go fight about the esophagus for me.
And now she's upset that someone's using the same technique. Oh, God, she does it all the time, Kyle.
Like, I've invited Camille to the party, you know? so uh she's like well even though you say you don't have preconceived ideas your actions say otherwise do you know what it's like not even be able to reach the top shelf of my kitchen so kyle's like bose is like 100 she's been totally biased against me you know know, of course she does not want to admit that because it would seem juvenile, but that's what happened. People don't realize how much implicit bias they have against Kyle's in this world.
Kyle, really suffering. We all need to take classes.
I'm Kyle-ist. She's biased.
Oh, God. So then we have this moment where she's like well you're hard on me and boza's like okay well how how would how would i be hard on you and then kyle has to dig and she's like um you know uh like in conversations like um remember when we were in the viper room and you said put your phone down and block pk right now that That was so mean.
That was so mean. And Boza's like, what? That's so stupid.
So Kyle's like, okay. Well, you know what I already feel like? Okay, Judge Judy.
Kyle's pre-written a line and you know because she has the special come up on her. She's like, okay.
Is my makeup good? You better watch out, Judge Judy. It's like, it's not a gif-able moment, Kyle, but nice try.
So I have to confess, I laughed, but asterisk. I laughed because when they said coming up, and they sort of set it up like Bose said something like, Kyle, I think you're a cold.
And Kyle goes, okay, Judge Judy. And I thought that was so funny, but then when it actually played out in real time, the timing was much, not snapping so I didn't laugh I didn't laugh in real time but I laughed in promo time if that makes sense so she's like so she goes you've never even met PK and Doreen goes well why does she need to meet Piki and she goes well I'm talking to her right now about this situation Doreen and she goes about my life well i can dream in it's about my life i'm chiming in bitches clocking in it's like oh my god she's not even talking about your life she's talking about a conversation that we're having about your life okay i'm not unduly trying to heisman you oh my god like iceberg not ice man no heisman is a different thing but anyway but i'm not trying to push you out i'm being because i'm being able to keep your pussy tight god what i'll do the fuck a heisman winner right now so i was like well i've just been i feel like i'm just been sharing so much with you one-on-one in the group like for instance like the other day i bought a new bag and the other day i bag, and then the other day, I thought I figured I had to open up my French door, but I didn't.
I still can't open it up. I've been showing a lot.
Andrea's like, well, I don't even know what's going on with you right now, Coil. Just what are you talking about? Well, I don't.
I literally thought to myself today, what's going on with Coil? Something that everyone thinks about all the time. can't have you like listen I can't with you having to back up every little thing it's so annoying it's actually so annoying oh my god I can only last so much longer I'm telling you I have stamina but this shit is exhausting I mean not even a once a year hot dog can help me right now i mean she could literally

say anything and you're all over her ass like it's gross now just stop it i'm having a conversation

with her and everything she says you have to back up to read just stop it she goes i didn't pick up anything that she said i've been quiet i just said if you're gonna talk about me leaf talk about me Leave with me.

And then Kyle goes, oh, yeah.

Well, this is what you're doing.

What is Kyle doing? Kyle does such a crazy thing. I was like, now that's the gif.
That is going to be the gif. So Kyle's like, Dorit does not know when to not talk.
Like, this is between Bose and me, and we're in, like, a good place now. So can you just, like, leave it be? You don't have to be upper-ass 24-7.
Oh, hold on one second. I got a phone call from Jamie Lee Curtis.
Hey, Jamie, what's going on? Okay. Anyway, like I was saying, don't be up people's asses.
So Kyle's like, you know, you know things about me. You know that I'm separated from my husband.
You know that I'm married for 28 years. Within me, 38 years, we have more children.
We have a chair in the doorway that i can't carry outside what else do you need to know uh who's morgan wade how long have you been dating her did you leave your husband for morgan wade or was that after and did your husband cheat on you because you keep insinuating that he did but you've given no proof and he said nothing so there to start kyle do you need to scream do you need to scream do you need to scream? Do you need to scream? Do you need to scream? Garza's like, she's not screaming. I will lower my voice.
Okay, what else do you need to know? Because I think that that's a lot. I've brought a lot.
Also, I do Amazon Lives every once in a while and pretend that I like jogging pants. Anybody else? She's like, well, you know, from the beach, from Garcelle's house did we start fresh and clean are we going back tell me now because i need to know fresh and clean fresh and clean well it feels like i'm being clawed at and so kyle's like okay okay look i'm gonna start from scratch and trust has to start from scratch for both of us okay let's go upstairs and talk about everybody else.
So they decide that they're going to start from scratch. And trust has to start from scratch for both of us.

Okay?

Let's go upstairs and talk about everybody else.

So they decide that they're going to still be friends.

And they calm down.

Because this fight wasn't even about them.

The good part of the fight was between Bose and Kyle.

And Dorit just completely interrupted that fight and ruined it.

So now Kyle is going to pretend she's going to make up with Dorit.

Because it saves her from having to actually fight with somebody who knows what they're doing, who is Bows. So she's like, peace.
Yeah, now they're going to go upstairs. And also, by the way, like, don't go upstairs.
This episode's so fun. I don't want to see you two bonding.
And by the way, did we not mention my favorite part of the entire episode where Dorit goes, don't be a douche. That was my favorite.
Don't be a bitch. Don't be an asshole.
Don't be a douche. Did we mention that? Did I just miss that? I don't know.
I think we did skip over that part. So Dorit's like, Coyle, I just want you to know I do love you and I want to take you somewhere you're comfortable.
The closet. Let's go.
So they head over, and then Kathy goes, yeah, and don't forget, you love each other.

And Bo's is like, don't interpret for them.

She goes, oh, okay, you're right, you're right.

I actually kind of loved Bo's snapping at Kathy.

It wasn't really a snap.

Well, she was joking, because she goes, you might get in trouble with that one.

Right.

Trying to say something in the script.

It wasn't a snap, but it still was like a little bit like no one really has ever told Kathy, don't do this, even in a joking way.

And I kind of like the buzz is like, listen, crazy lady in a bucket hat.

Shut up.

So then they go upstairs and then Kathy is like, well, with this group, you know, let's just not make mountains out of mohills it's mohills is it mohills out of mountains is there a hill of mohs how do you climb that hill does that hill take other rocks from other mountains to make its own mountain bigger i think you get what i mean so uh they go upstairs and uh Dorit shows Kyle her upstairs and her bedroom and her closet. And it's messy.
And this is like, oh, my goodness, a messy upstairs area. This is totally showing Dorit's trauma because she's not a messy person.
So Kyle. She can't afford a maid anymore because her ass is broke because her MPK had been pretending to have have money for years now and now it's gone that's that's what it is but okay we'll lean into the trauma for nothing nothing warms nothing warms kyle's heart more than seeing a friend in total disarray and she's like wait a second your life kind of sucks right now okay i kind of feel better about myself great thanks thank you for doing this i have a better closet than to read i can forgive her yeah that's kind of what it was right so they talk about their marriages and what do you do and like it's just so hard because i was with him but now i'm not with him and oh it's the same thing over and over what about kyle there's a dead orchid and kyle points it and just laughs.
I can tell you're really messed up because you let

this orchid die. And Dorit's like,

yes, I don't ever let orchids die.

Your orchid's dead.

I was like, Kyle, your bedside

matter could use some work.

So they start talking about closets and

Kyle's like, I mean, like Mo left

and it was just separated.

So his stuff was still in the closet, but now

I started to take over his closet because like, what else do you do? Do you know how hard it is having more closet space? Another deep moment from Kyle and then we see a footage of her like moving some clothes over on a rack and putting like putting like a blouse where Mo's blazer used to be. There, I did it.

So, I love every woman.

It's only me.

Anything that you want to, baby.

Sorry.

Sisters are doing it

for themselves. Jeans.

I can bring all the bacon.

Fry it up in the pan.

So,

Torea's like, well,

you take a little bit that's yours

I'm going to go ahead and carl's like what in the beginning in a separation you don't know what it really means and then you're like well i'll just take a little bit of the space and before you know it his shoes are all over the ground i'm like well you started right? And how's that going? She's like, yeah, but like he bought furniture for his bachelor pad instead of having his house staged. So I was like, oh, and now he's buying furniture? Another blouse is going on that rack.
Every time Kyle has a grievance, she just adds another hanger onto it. Right.
So, I mean, like, it's what I ask myself every day. Like, it feels like we're a family, you know? But do you want to be back together? I mean, I just want to take this time to, you know, queer beta lesbian somewhere and think about myself.
And I don't know. I'm not doing anything with the time.
I like that Kyle is relating all of this to the lockdowns during the pandemic when it's just like, I'm going to, I thought I was going to learn to make bread and I don't know, learn to play the piano. I still don't have any bread and I still don't play the piano.
I'm getting back together with Maurizio. I have stressed dreams about the Duolingo owl saying, when are you coming back? When are you coming back? And I'm like, I don't know.
Kamiseta, okay? It's a kamiseta. Kyle, why are you saying blouse? Lo siento.
So Kyle's like, I think maybe that was just an easy way to say, like, what are you like? I'm leaving for a year. I don't know.
So it's like, well, do you want to like, I mean, if I'm not going to – I don't want to stay like this. I mean, a door stuck in my – a chair stuck in my French doors.
Birds flying in and out because I can't close the doors. Can't move the chair.
Can't turn on the TV. That remote.
How do you even use a remote? It's a lot. Have you ever tried to change a light bulb on a 20-foot ceiling? It's hard.
So, she's like, well, if we're not going to get back together, we're going to get a divorce. And she goes, but are you going to get back together? She's like, that's next year's storyline.
I'm really going to make this last as long as I can, okay? So she says they're in denial about their situation, and they just keep going on. And, you know, I think that's good.
I'd like a good Real Housewives of New Jersey kind of a divorce where

you just don't get divorced.

Or you're divorced, you still live together.

Or, I don't know, it doesn't have to be like that.

Just stay together. You're rich as fuck.

And you can do whatever you want, apparently.

So, why not? Just stay together.

Keep it simple, people.

Yeah, Kyle feels like she's in limbo.

And she says, I'd like to do what they're doing, like going off doing whatever like you know like getting new furniture things like that i just don't know how to do that like i don't to be honest like how do you get furniture do you just go to a store you sit on things like it's so strange what do you do every time i've asked fey to furnish my house she just comes back with with wicker baskets and plastic hangers i just don't know what to do anymore and. And Dorit's like, here's what we do, Kyle.
We just have to live! We just have to live, Kyle! It's like, oh, for Christ's sake. Dorit eating a potato fresh from the ground.
I will live! And you can't call me a bitch in my own home, because I'm living. So Dorit says, you know, for me, I haven't been able to catch my breath.
Which is something that she's also said a million times this episode. Like anytime it's like, Dorit, where were you? Well, I haven't been able to catch my breath.
Which is funny because you were singing that song last week. And Dorit's like, you don't understand.
I just, would I choose to be in this situation? No, no, I wouldn't. And I think P.K.
had lived with the thought of separating, and he had mentally ready when we separated, whereas it kind of took me by surprise. But to be fair, everything takes me by surprise.
I saw Peanut M&M on the counter. I go, ooh! And then it turns out I'd been there every single day, and every single day I come downstairs and I get surprised by it.
But this one really took me by surprise. I'm just kind of digesting it all.
Not the peanut M&M, but the divorce. Well, we're not getting back together.
Any time soon. That I can tell you, Coyle.
And by the way, Coyle, I would like a minute to just think about what I want. Oh, my breath.
I just, what is he doing? Is he acting like a single man? And Kyle's like, well, I mean, I think we would know. I mean, it's kind of hard to do that in our world without knowing about it because the paparazzi are everywhere.
So then we see one weeklet. Oh, by the way, I have an announcement to make.
I think it was on this show we were talking about small airports and I was talking about El Paso and how there's still a knife shop in there. Well, I haven't been to El been to el paso in 20 years at least the airport and i heard that they did eventually get rid of the knife shop like a decade ago so to everyone looking for a knife in the el paso airport sorry but it's a decade gone that's too bad goodbye knife shop i believed in you so so to be say coil listen if the man wants divorce, we're going to get a divorce.
I can't stop it. But did he say divorce? Well, he's mentioned divorce, but only in a threatening way.
Oh, OK. Well, he has said things like you'll die with nothing in your account.
But I'm not really sure what he meant by that. You know, he goes off sometimes.
So then we see one week later, voiceover, Mauricio Manske was caught with a mystery woman. The real estate mogul touched down in Mykonos where he was photographed collapsing into the arms of a hot blonde wearing a sheer cover up over a dark bikini.
I love they try to make it sound like news headlines when they're like, and here's what she was wearing. I know.
Did I not finish this episode? I don't remember seeing any of this or maybe got cut off because YouTube, I watched this on YouTube TV and this, no, we know I didn't watch this. I watched it on YouTube TV and it showed it.
I watched, no, I watched this as a screener and I don't seem to remember any of this. Did I not? Oh, maybe that's why.
Yeah, well, maybe

they added this in later, but it's

we see that Mauricio was caught making out with

that real estate chick. And then we see

another headline. Mauricio Mansky's

mystery woman identified as Russian

born actress who's 20 years younger

than Kyle Richards' ex and is in

a movie with Alec Baldwin.

And then we

see him kissing this girl in front of an Avis rent a car which i thought was really funny and then um erica is facetiming kyle and she's like how are you kyle did you see this did you know it was coming kyle tell me the truth about it here's what i'll tell you i'm waiting for my once a year hot dog doll and that was the episode But, God, I did not even register that last part there thanks everyone for listening and being here go get your tickets to our live shows at watchwhatcrappens.com and check out our Patreon also and we will catch you on the next episode of Watch What Crappens bye everyone Watch What Crappens would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King.
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