#2788 Denise Richards & Her Wild Things: Sheens From a Marriage

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Speaker 1 Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crap-ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is Charlie Sheen.

Speaker 1 Just kidding, it's Ronnie Caram. Hi, Ronnie.
How's it going?

Speaker 4 Well, hello. How are you?

Speaker 1 I'm doing great. We're here to talk about Denise Richards and her wild things.

Speaker 1 Before we get into that,

Speaker 1 we are still on tour. And next week, we go to Boston, Detroit, and Chicago in one fell swoop.
Tickets are available. Well, the ticket links are available on our website, watchworkcrappins.com.

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Speaker 1 And then we are, we have two other shows that we are going to add to the schedule, but they're not ready yet. So just wait, okay.

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Hello, everyone.

Speaker 1 But you can also

Speaker 1 listen to our bonus episodes. And we are recapping the last two episodes of White Lotus.
We already recapped this week's, so check that out if you're a White Lotus fan.

Speaker 1 And then we've got the big finale coming up this weekend, so we can't wait to talk about that. Now, today

Speaker 1 we are getting back into Denise Richards' world. We didn't do it last week because we had a really busy week, but also last week's episode, really, all you missed was

Speaker 1 what's his face? Why am I blanking on his name all of a sudden?

Speaker 4 Patrick Sweeping,

Speaker 1 Patrick Muldoon, Patrick Muldoon going through his midlife crisis, which was him

Speaker 1 doing a guitar song and having Denise Richards be in his video and then reminiscing on all those good times with Patrick. Sweet babe.

Speaker 9 Yeah. Hey, honey, are you jealous?

Speaker 6 I'm doing a music video with Sweet Babe.

Speaker 8 And you go, yeah, babe.

Speaker 12 I'm super jealous.

Speaker 8 You're fucking hot.

Speaker 10 Yeah, don't worry about it. I like your dick better.
I've always liked your dick. You got the most amazing dick, babe.

Speaker 7 Fucking Denise.

Speaker 1 Literally every episode is Denise saying, I remember the first time I saw Aaron, I saw that dick.

Speaker 1 It's like she keeps saying it as if she hasn't told us before.

Speaker 14 And she even does it this episode.

Speaker 1 It's like, yeah, I saw that dick.

Speaker 1 I want that dick.

Speaker 15 It's the dick stick with Denise Richards.

Speaker 10 So this one

Speaker 19 is my dinner with Charlie episode season.

Speaker 21 And we open with one of her monologues.

Speaker 6 And she's like, yeah, you know, for Charlie and I, it was a whirlwind romance.

Speaker 6 After my first date with Charlie, nine months later, you know before we got married so many people wanted to design my wedding dress Giorgio Armani flew us to Italy we went to his villa it was like a fairy tale it you know like that when I met Erica

Speaker 16 when I met what's his face my current husband but you know at midnight his dick literally turned into a pumpkin it was huge it was huge I rode it to Armani's house I didn't even know him at that time

Speaker 1 People don't know this, but we had a Catholic ceremony and we had to do pre-canna classes. And I don't even know how it even passed, but we did.
And our relationship, you know, it was easy.

Speaker 1 We had a very, very easy relationship. And then, but we obviously, it's very different from the divorce.
And I remember the first time I was signing those papers and I was like, this is a big pan.

Speaker 1 And I realized I was just holding Aaron's dick. And I was just moving it on the paper.
And I was like, this is a big dick in my hand.

Speaker 18 So then we go to Hollywood, the heart of Hollywood, Vine Street, Hollywood and Vine.

Speaker 16 And they go into Boulevard Steak.

Speaker 7 Boulevard Steak.

Speaker 1 Boulevard Steak.

Speaker 1 You would think it's Boulevard. It's just Boulevard.

Speaker 1 And so

Speaker 1 it's their anniversary today. Only today is the weekend.

Speaker 1 Denise and Aaron, it's our anniversary.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 six years. Can you believe it? He's like, yeah, but we've been together eight.
Yeah, well, we don't say that part out loud because a big pharma.

Speaker 1 Anyway, I know, six years married, and we got married on TV. Isn't that crazy?

Speaker 1 And we see a flashback, and I can't believe it has already been like at this point actually seven years since we saw it yeah

Speaker 17 and they're getting married of course they missed they left out the part where denise was like five hours late to her own wedding and everyone was hot and then there were helicopters from tmz flying overhead and lisa said oh my god

Speaker 25 i know all of the paparazzi hi

Speaker 14 Hi, TMZ.

Speaker 26 Hi.

Speaker 27 In the same season that she was like, how would I even sell a story?

Speaker 18 I don't know anybody.

Speaker 1 Wasn't the wedding the last time like LVP...

Speaker 1 There was something significant, right? It was like the last time LVP was with so-and-so. Like where it was like in the same shot with Rinna or was, what was it?

Speaker 14 Wasn't there a story?

Speaker 15 They were all shocked that she even showed up to the wedding.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what it was.

Speaker 11 So how dare she come to this wedding?

Speaker 25 She should be scared.

Speaker 8 Hello, darling.

Speaker 27 Can we move this along?

Speaker 27 Ken might not make it through this.

Speaker 4 Just please move it along.

Speaker 1 You know, Lisa Vanderpump was just on the Bravo hot mic thing. Did you see? I saw a little clip of it this morning.

Speaker 8 I saw a little clip as well.

Speaker 1 Which one

Speaker 1 clip? Where she was like, well,

Speaker 29 you know,

Speaker 1 I don't miss Kyle, but I do miss what we had, you know. But, you know, when someone says, oh, you're a liar, you're a liar, you liar, you just have to move on from those people.

Speaker 1 But, you know, I do miss those late-night phone calls and helping her navigate.

Speaker 1 tumultuous relationship with her sisters all the time drama drama drama every single time i would just answer the phone call, I would be tending to my dying jiggy, and I would say, no, no, let me take the time out for Kyle Richards to talk about how her daughter, her sister, didn't save a stick of

Speaker 1 challenge butter for her, and there would be in a fight for six months over it.

Speaker 14 I would do that because I was so selfless.

Speaker 17 Yeah, I did like her.

Speaker 19 You know, Kyle always had something to talk about because of her relationships with her sisters, you know, throwing them under the bus and such. God, those were good times.

Speaker 1 All those times when she would plot and scheme against her sisters with me late at night, but apparently I'm the schemer. Oh, I miss those days of being gaslit by her in front of the group.

Speaker 26 So back to Denise.

Speaker 6 She's like, hey, honey, do you even remember how we got together?

Speaker 26 Like, it wasn't even like a first date.

Speaker 11 He goes, I'm senile right now, babe.

Speaker 16 Can't remember anything, right?

Speaker 8 Because we're old. It's hilarious.

Speaker 4 Senile or penile?

Speaker 1 You're right.

Speaker 13 You're right.

Speaker 6 You know, I was your client, and I'll never forget. I told my sister, I noticed your penis in your pants.

Speaker 11 And I'll never forget the first thing you noticed that I had 5G radiation above my left ear loop.

Speaker 6 Thankfully, you stuck your penis in it, and it fixed it.

Speaker 1 Whoa, how'd you see it? X-ray vision. I'm telling you, big pharma, you got to be careful.

Speaker 1 Yeah, well, because of your stupid ass genes, okay? So she said, she said, I should ask him out on a date. And I'm like, I don't want to date him.
I just want to fuck him. Okay.

Speaker 1 But I thought it might be inappropriate because I'm a client in your very reputable metal magnet healing business.

Speaker 6 I'll never forget when you told me. I mean, it was so romantic when you said, One day, if you ever get cancer,

Speaker 4 only eat apples.

Speaker 11 I thought that was just the most professional advice I ever heard.

Speaker 8 So I fucked you right there on the table.

Speaker 6 So she's like, Yeah, you know, I'm always attracted to him, but you know, seeing with my daughters, God, that made him real fucking hot.

Speaker 7 Let me tell you.

Speaker 1 When he showed up going commander with those tight jeans to my daughters, when he took them to school, God, what a man.

Speaker 1 So now

Speaker 1 we're back into the restaurant and Aaron's like, wow, time's flying. I mean, I used to have dark hair and now I'm all white.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 12 Did you see what they ordered?

Speaker 6 She's like, all right. So I'm going to have, okay, the wagu meatball.

Speaker 10 All right, we'll do mac and cheese, the potato, the pasta, spaghetti, the tomahawk.

Speaker 6 What else you want, honey? All right. Hey, is penis on the menu?

Speaker 10 i'm gonna order a big fucking penis right now and it's not there all right just bring us 19 entrees all right we'll start with that

Speaker 1 way you

Speaker 1 so uh he's like yeah my hair's gray she's like yeah well i can't see i mean well you know i can see but it's not as clear as it used to be i mean i think it's mother nature that or and god that does that i can't read anything like i look at your dick it is still big but it's like a big blurry big you know what i'm saying it's like it's like someone blurred out an entire sentence on TV.

Speaker 27 Yeah, like she goes, yeah, I think, you know, Mother Nature does that, right?

Speaker 30 And he goes, Yeah, so you don't have to see me getting old.

Speaker 11 She goes, Yeah, you know, so you're still fucking hot.

Speaker 8 So that's good.

Speaker 23 So funny.

Speaker 6 So then she's telling us, Yeah, I think with Aaron, like we like each other, and that's there's respect and there's friendship, and that makes it different from my past relationship.

Speaker 1 And then all this food comes out, this this wide assortment of items. And Denise is like, by the way, you think my OnlyPans is going to pan out?

Speaker 1 There was a pun there. Maybe I should start OnlyPuns, which is a pun on OnlyPans.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I didn't tell my daughters about the OnlyPants, but I sorry.

Speaker 8 Go ahead, Denise.

Speaker 1 Go ahead. I was going to make just like when I saw Aaron's

Speaker 1 penis in his pants, I was like, you should start up on OnlyPants. That's all.
It was just a sad pun, but it was entertaining to me at the moment.

Speaker 6 When I filed for divorce from Charlie, you know, I was moving out of the house.

Speaker 6 I was six months pregnant with Lola, you know, and then I hear my mom on the phone with him because she's pissed that I took all the sippy, and he was pissed that I took all the sippy cups.

Speaker 6 I mean, that's where we were at. Can you believe it, honey?

Speaker 15 Sippy cups.

Speaker 25 I mean, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 Wait, did he drink out of the sippy cups? I mean, what didn't he drink out of? You know, put some vodka in the bird band and go to town, you know?

Speaker 1 It didn't matter what the vessel was, but the fewer the vessels, the angrier he got. So, then, you know, I don't think it really was about the sippy cups.

Speaker 1 It was about the fact that the family unit was moving. And, you know, but I did leave a high chair for him, which he did apparently have sex with three hookers on somehow.

Speaker 1 Don't know how he did it, but God bless.

Speaker 6 Then somehow snorted it, which is actually crazy. I mean, that man,

Speaker 23 man, he said it wasn't called a high chair for nothing.

Speaker 1 So good for him.

Speaker 30 So they also got back together.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 11 he's like, that's not a fortune. Why are you saying unfortunately?

Speaker 8 That's a good thing, right? She's like, oh, I mean, well, I always wanted the girls to know I did everything I could to make that work.

Speaker 7 Dun, done.

Speaker 1 So, you know, we did see a couples therapist that

Speaker 1 his lawyer found for us. And let me tell you something, their therapist dropped us as clients.
And it's the second time in her career to ever drop a couple.

Speaker 1 Kind of like how I wanted Aaron to drop Trow after I saw that outline in his jeans.

Speaker 1 And she pulled me aside and said, if you stay with him, you're going to need therapy every day for the rest of your life. And I don't want to be that person.

Speaker 1 And that was just based on the shit that we were sharing with her. If she only knew some of the other shit, am I right?

Speaker 31 Yeah, well, life is short, babe. And you don't need tiger blood to do it.

Speaker 11 Oh, my God. The poor bastard with that thing.

Speaker 6 Fucking tiger blood.

Speaker 17 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 6 Don't even get me started on that.

Speaker 1 I love the idea of this, this poor therapist who after like two sessions was just like, I'm out. I'm not doing this.
I'm not taking on Charlie's shoe. It's too crazy.

Speaker 1 It was like literally too crazy we've reached the limits of modern psychology going out getting out we're done so now we go to townhouse number two

Speaker 6 and um they're in the kitchen lola and denise are standing at the island hi mom can i eat this and it's just an orange what can you have a little tiny fucking orange yeah lola you can eat a tiny fucking orange geez hey i'll have one with you all right

Speaker 1 well i just don't know mom i don't know it's like yeah well you're you're a tiny little orange and you know what you know what i call call aaron a big little banana

Speaker 1 anyway i'll have one too ah the banana and the orange if you know what i'm saying mom stop okay well your dad wants to go to lunch and sammy's not gone because she doesn't want to and she apparently doesn't like hanging out with anyone aside from her her herself so your dad wants to see so you gotta ready to go you can have all the oranges you want So she's like, you know, the girl has been through a lot with their dad.

Speaker 6 It's been real up and down.

Speaker 32 And we cut to Lola and she's like, um, I'm just like so close with my dad right now. I think that is such a blessing.
I thank Jesus every day for that.

Speaker 3 And she's like,

Speaker 16 and then we cut to Sam and she's like, I would literally do anything to not go to lunch with my dad.

Speaker 15 He doesn't deserve this nose.

Speaker 33 I just really want to have like Taco Tuesday with my dad. Thank you, Jesus, for Taco Tuesday and my dad.

Speaker 1 Well,

Speaker 1 no matter what. At the end of the day, you got a big dick for a big dick.
And even though you girls are over 18, we'll always be your parents.

Speaker 3 So she's like,

Speaker 32 yeah, mom.

Speaker 6 So then she is like, you know, Charlie should get together with the girls more. You know, it's important to see your kids, you know,

Speaker 6 and they should see us get together more because it's important for your kids to see that you can get along with their exes, you know.

Speaker 26 It's why I slept with that lizard for so long.

Speaker 8 I said, listen, I'm willing to do a lot

Speaker 28 for this family.

Speaker 1 I'll do anything for it, you know. She's okay, we're gonna go to Tosca No,

Speaker 32 and she's like, Oh no, mom, like I knew everyone there since I used to work there, mom.

Speaker 6 Yeah, well, I know, but you know, they're giving it to us free because I called and I said, I'm Lola's mom, you know.

Speaker 10 So, congratulations. You feel like a fucking movie star for one.

Speaker 32 She's like, Well, I'm gonna need therapy after.

Speaker 6 Oh, honey, you've needed therapy for a long time.

Speaker 8 There's a lot to unpack there, as Andy Cohen would say.

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Speaker 1 So now we go, now it's the evening and Denise and Aaron's like lying in bed shirtless. And then she comes in, she's like, hey, want to take a photo of me? And he's like, okay.

Speaker 1 And she's like, look, look, look, here's before and after.

Speaker 1 And she has a before and after, her neck looks different. And she's talking about her turkey neck and what she's done with it.

Speaker 3 Yeah, she has like a strappy thing that she's putting on and it's supposed to, it like freezes her neck.

Speaker 17 And we see a close-up close-up of it, and it does do it.

Speaker 8 Whatever it did worked.

Speaker 34 I want,

Speaker 7 what is it? I want that.

Speaker 17 And they didn't say what it was.

Speaker 6 I thought it was going to be some product that she was going to be like, yeah, and that's why you've got, you know, I've got my only turkey necks videos coming out.

Speaker 6 You know, it's basically guys come on, they fuck my turkey neck. And, you know, once I get enough subscribers, I reveal how I get it up so they can't stick their penis in there anymore.

Speaker 18 Huge deal. Great product.

Speaker 1 You know, I would for sure lift my neck if I didn't have to do the surgery. I mean, someone's putting you the fuck out, and you could be lights out.
Like, who the fuck wants that?

Speaker 1 I mean, when your eyes are closed, you can't see all the big dicks in the pants around you.

Speaker 24 So, she's trying to do it to him.

Speaker 20 She's like, You know, I would have fucked you even with your neck, even without your neck up.

Speaker 22 You know, you look really good, Aaron.

Speaker 10 You still, you still got it.

Speaker 6 You know, we could do it on your balls, though.

Speaker 8 Yeah, we'd be.

Speaker 17 He's like, So you're saying I have big, droopy balls, babe.

Speaker 10 She's like, No, I'm just kidding. You don't, baby.

Speaker 1 So now we head to Tosca Nova restaurant where Denise, Charlie, and Lola all show up. And

Speaker 1 this is Charlie's big arrival. This is like Bravo.
Bravo's so happy. This is all Bravo wanted.
They just wanted Charlie Sheen on camera. So

Speaker 1 they sit down. And he is

Speaker 1 like, it's just weird. I don't know.
Like, I guess he's like, he's like old now and he's had like some sort of surgery.

Speaker 16 So he he looks like a little different.

Speaker 1 And his voice is much higher than I remember it being.

Speaker 34 Yeah, I don't remember him talking like this. He's like, I don't remember that either.
Hey, guys, how are you? Spend a minute, huh? Spend a minute. Good to see you guys.

Speaker 15 Good to see you guys.

Speaker 34 And I'd just like to say here, I'm part of the scene research party. Okay, great.

Speaker 9 You can see me now. That would be great.

Speaker 5 Hey, guys.

Speaker 34 It was a little awkward, right?

Speaker 6 She goes,

Speaker 6 I need to take a look at your neck because I want to get mine done. You know, I'm sick of trying, guys, trying to fuck.
I got enough subscribers now on my turkey, only turkey bags.

Speaker 34 He's like, all right, what do we got to highlight my neck? What is this? What is this? Is this what they do on reality TV? I've never been on reality TV. I'm doing this for you, Denise.

Speaker 34 I'm doing this for you. This is what we're doing, turkey net content.

Speaker 1 Great. Yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure is.
Okay, well, it looks good. Okay, it looks like you never would know that you're like 100.

Speaker 7 He's like, well, that's hilarious. Thanks very much, Denise.

Speaker 1 It's good to see you, Charles.

Speaker 7 Yeah, well, it's good to see you too, Denise.

Speaker 1 Yeah, good to see you. Any chance that somebody actually applauds my presence is awesome.

Speaker 8 Yeah, well, I'm applauding you, you, Charles.

Speaker 32 So, Lola comes and it's like, oh my, oh my God, I'm so embarrassed to be back here. No, I will not get you a glass of water.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 12 So, she's shown to the table.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say what her next thing is, where she's shown to the table and she goes, This is like so nostalgic for me.

Speaker 33 I was so young when I worked here. I was 17.

Speaker 1 She's like 19 now.

Speaker 15 All youth.

Speaker 27 So, then we see

Speaker 24 a shift photo when she was working and Charlie came and they, you know, they're smiling.

Speaker 34 And he's like, yeah, you remember that day, kid?

Speaker 11 God, that was a good day.

Speaker 4 You know, I remember lol, I visited Lola.

Speaker 37 I had a couple of hookers at the hostess stand waiting for me. You know, she was so young.
She was 17. I said, you're almost young enough to get on the streets, you know?

Speaker 34 And when they posted for a picture, you know, no one, when we posted for a picture, nobody knew I was your dad. I mean, what the hell? What the hell, kid? You know how hard I've worked now.

Speaker 34 Nobody knows who I am.

Speaker 28 Come on.

Speaker 33 Yeah, they thought I was just like a fan, you know, and I was like, thank God, thank Jesus for that.

Speaker 1 So he's like, yeah, well, did you keep it a secret out of shame or just to protect me?

Speaker 33 She was like, well, I kept it a secret because I didn't want people to treat me any differently. Like, how funny is that?

Speaker 33 And she says, my relationship with my dad is, you know, it's definitely improved. We started getting pedicures together, like, every two or three weeks.

Speaker 33 And that's become our favorite thing to do together. You know, he used to get pink with sparkles on top.
And it was sort of weird because he'd always have like three prostitutes.

Speaker 33 So we sort of filled up up the whole sitting nail salon, but whatever.

Speaker 32 It was fun.

Speaker 32 Yeah, like he made fun of me a couple of times when I got crucifixes on my two pink toes. And he said, like, where's the third one? Weren't there three on the hill?

Speaker 32 And I was like, well, you know, I'm the martyr in the middle. You can only have so many toes, dad.
Jeez.

Speaker 33 We did have like a tense moment at one pedicure because he made a joke. He said, today is like Taco Toast Day.
And I was like, please don't make fun of Taco Tuesday. It's a sacred night.

Speaker 32 He asked me to pray over his Taco Toes Day. And I was like, I don't have a prayer for tacos.
I mean, I do have one for like lizards now. I came up with that one.
Can I use that one?

Speaker 33 So we prayed for Godzilla together. And then he painted Godzilla's face on all ten of his toes.

Speaker 32 Unfortunately, she almost cut off his small toe because she was crying so hard by the end of the Godzilla prayer. So I guess it worked.

Speaker 33 It was really moving. It was nice that there was a rabbi there.

Speaker 3 All right, all right. This is cool.

Speaker 7 Look at this.

Speaker 34 Here we are, just completely comfortable on camera, huh?

Speaker 9 You know, I've never done a reality show, Denise.

Speaker 29 And she goes, ah, yeah, you know, the housewife thing they wanted you on.

Speaker 34 He goes, well, I never saw that show until about three days ago.

Speaker 26 I stumbled onto this fight between you and Lita Renna.

Speaker 4 I mean, wow.

Speaker 8 Geez.

Speaker 1 Which is great because it gives us an excuse to see once again, you're so angry.

Speaker 7 Oh, Denise, you're so angry.

Speaker 6 You're playing dirty.

Speaker 4 That's what's happening.

Speaker 28 Oh, I'm playing dirty.

Speaker 5 You deserve me.

Speaker 5 You're so angry. You're so angry.

Speaker 27 Well, you know, I didn't have the backstory, so I didn't know whose side to pick. I mean, obviously I picked yours, you know, because you gave me that gift of a high chair back in the day.

Speaker 34 So that was sweet.

Speaker 1 Wow. You know, the things I saw on

Speaker 1 that journey.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you,

Speaker 1 no Coke has or any Lusty has ever compared to

Speaker 1 Snorting in a High Chair. Anyway, what was I saying?

Speaker 34 You're like, all right, well, I can tell you this much. This lunch is not going to look anything like that.

Speaker 6 It's not going to look anything like that.

Speaker 37 All right, so I was singing this morning, you know,

Speaker 34 the considerations for what you'd order to eat on a date. All right.
What would they be, Lola?

Speaker 32 And she's like, oh, my God, Dad, I've never been on a date. Only with the Lord.

Speaker 33 Yeah, I really struggle with finding boyfriends.

Speaker 33 You know, it's really hard for me to trust someone because I never know if they're just like a fan of my dad and like one guy who had a crush on me literally had a poster of my dad on his wall and he was just like a little bit obsessed or a lot like i don't know like very weird i i definitely don't want to go on another date with patrick muldoon it was just really strange

Speaker 3 Yeah, that makes more sense because who the fuck has pictures of Charlie Sheen up in there?

Speaker 11 Like what young person is like, you know who I love?

Speaker 24 Charlie Sheen.

Speaker 26 Like a 17-year-old who's like super into Charlie Sheen.

Speaker 1 What? Has Charlie Sheen maybe become kind of like a like a like one of those actors that like young people like, you know, like sort of ironic? I mean, they're

Speaker 1 like,

Speaker 1 I mean, a lot of kids grew up with two and a half men airing, you know, so they knew who he was. And maybe it's like cool and they probably have

Speaker 1 a lot of people.

Speaker 7 17 year olds, Dan? If you're 17.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. If you're 17, you were...
That's true. You were, you were, well, if you were 17, you were born in 2008.

Speaker 1 I think Two and a Half Men was on like through all the 2000s. I feel like it was on for like 40 years.

Speaker 7 It was never out there.

Speaker 1 Wow. You know, and so I'm sure there's like, you know, maybe they found like hot shots.
And so he became like a cult character.

Speaker 1 They, they were, you know, they were young when he had his big flame out, you know, maybe.

Speaker 10 Oh, yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 21 So

Speaker 23 now they're talking about Charlie and Denise's first date.

Speaker 34 And he's like, yeah, we're at my condo. We were watching a baseball game.

Speaker 32 So you did like a little dinner?

Speaker 34 And he's like, no, no. I stopped at the liquor store.

Speaker 8 Okay. That's what I did.

Speaker 13 So

Speaker 32 that's so romantic. Jesus liked wine.

Speaker 5 Wow.

Speaker 8 By the way,

Speaker 34 you know, there was a little crack there, too.

Speaker 4 I'm not going to lie.

Speaker 11 I also stopped in the parking lot.

Speaker 15 So that was fun.

Speaker 1 Yeah. I just want to say two and a half men went from 2003 to, I think, 2015.

Speaker 1 So maybe my theory is not strong because they would have been little, little kid, like really young during two and a half men's time on the air. So I retract.

Speaker 28 Hmm.

Speaker 8 So

Speaker 23 that's just a part of pop culture that I just never let touch me.

Speaker 1 I was like, I rebuke you.

Speaker 31 I was like, I rebuke you.

Speaker 21 So then

Speaker 6 Denise is like, yeah, you stopped at the liquor store and I brought the food and ice cream.

Speaker 7 You want to know what we had?

Speaker 32 Oh, yeah, that was the best time ever.

Speaker 34 That was so, so fun.

Speaker 8 She goes, yeah, that is true. It was a very fun time.

Speaker 3 I had steamed vegetables.

Speaker 32 of course you did mom

Speaker 1 you know the one thing i will say about you and i going through the difficulty we did is that you knew i always had your back at the end of the day when i divorced you you knew i had your back when i left you and he's like um he's like oh

Speaker 34 she's like you know i never was going to say this or that or hold a press conference i you know i always had your fucking back and my shippy cups am i right she had my back and my shippy cups so maybe we shouldn't discuss that right now right yeah Because if you didn't have my back, we wouldn't be able to have moments like this, wonderful moments like this.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then Denise tells us that, you know, like, well, Charlie and I were married for four and a half years,

Speaker 1 which is almost sort of like double his show, two and a half men, kind of.

Speaker 1 But we had, he, you know, he'd been sober for about four years, and I never thought someone who would be so committed to sobriety would fall back into it because they never really been around it.

Speaker 1 But then after I got pregnant with Lola, it just started to turn fast. So, yeah, I hope this doesn't damage damage her.

Speaker 1 I hope this doesn't give her a complex, that it's her fault that he went off the wagon and went loony tunes for the rest of his life. But anyway, now I've said it on TV.

Speaker 6 Yeah, you know, and

Speaker 10 it was a big fight.

Speaker 6 I just packed my belongings, Sammy's belongings.

Speaker 22 I called their nanny to meet him at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

Speaker 6 And when the nanny came, she, I, you know, I left Sammy with the nanny, filed for divorce on my way to a table read.

Speaker 6 Not good.

Speaker 1 I mean, look, I got, I got my kids, I got the nanny, and as I was driving down the street to the hotel, I sort of honked my horn a lot and said, hey, has anyone got a lizard they want to offload on me as long as I'm packing things up?

Speaker 29 I took a nice long sip from a sippy cup.

Speaker 7 It felt good.

Speaker 30 That was a good day. That was a big day in my life.

Speaker 6 So she goes, yeah, come on, Charlie.

Speaker 11 I had your back.

Speaker 4 I had your back.

Speaker 34 He's like, well, this soup is really good, huh? You should have ordered the soup.

Speaker 5 She's like, ah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 then he gets something and it has like carrots in it. He's like, so is this carrots or is it squash? Because there's a giant E.

Speaker 7 coli carrot alert right now. So, if this is a carrot or some kind of squash, I'd like to get to the bottom of it now.

Speaker 17 She's like, Well, I think it's a sweet.

Speaker 1 Oh, Lola's like, I think it's a sweet potato dad, actually. He's like, Well, to me, that looks like a fucking carrot.
So, eat it. Don't be such a puss.

Speaker 32 Oh my god, you just can't eat anything anymore. I remember when I was really young, there was like a spinach warning.
I was like 18,

Speaker 33 and it's like a sepiatone memory.

Speaker 29 She's like, wow, look at Charlie worried about germs, okay?

Speaker 24 Contaminated vegetable.

Speaker 29 I mean, listen, look at the history of what's gone into his body and the people he surrounded himself with during his divorce.

Speaker 10 I mean, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 6 He was blowing a monkey

Speaker 30 the first time I let him visit the kids.

Speaker 3 Jeez.

Speaker 7 It's like, well, I think I've survived much worse than eating the E. coli carrot.

Speaker 33 And Lola's like, I think this is where Sammy gets her dark humor from. That's where she gets all her E.
coli jokes.

Speaker 10 It's like, well, hopefully.

Speaker 1 How is she? Is she good?

Speaker 7 Does she still remember what I look like?

Speaker 1 She's like, I don't know. She got a new nose.

Speaker 37 I tried to ask her how she was doing, and she tried to charge me a subscription. I said, you better watch your damn mouth, young lady.

Speaker 13 All right.

Speaker 7 Lila's like, I don't know.

Speaker 33 I mean, she got a spray tan the other day.

Speaker 18 A lot going on with a lot going on with Sammy.

Speaker 1 That killed me.

Speaker 15 How's her sister?

Speaker 32 She's good. She got a spray tan.

Speaker 4 It's it's like awesome that's awesome

Speaker 32 so in the confessional sammy is sitting with denise and she's like yeah me and my dad haven't spoken in like a few months it comes in chunks like the first 13 years were really bad but then they were okay and now it's just like i mean is it a sweet potato or a carrot

Speaker 1 That was, it was so strange that Sammy decided to talk about that while impersonating her sister.

Speaker 25 Oh, sorry.

Speaker 7 Sorry.

Speaker 4 Me and my dad.

Speaker 4 Okay.

Speaker 8 Just pretend I was saying it like that.

Speaker 18 I think he's mad.

Speaker 1 I'm like mad at my dad, but I'm mad at my sister too. So I will mock her while talking about my dad.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 26 On my like Charlie Sheen Google Alert, I read a while back that he got mad that she has an OnlyFans and that caused big fights, a huge fight.

Speaker 1 I just, I feel like Charlie Sheen has forfeited the right to complain about embarrassing people embarrassing the family.

Speaker 8 Even when you, like, even when he's right, you know what I mean?

Speaker 26 Like, you don't, no one wants to be like, oh my God, my teenage daughter is on OnlyFans.

Speaker 21 But, you know, yeah, you're right.

Speaker 31 He's free.

Speaker 8 He doesn't have to be. He doesn't have the right.

Speaker 1 It's done.

Speaker 26 I haven't fucked over my children, so I can say that, but you can't.

Speaker 30 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're like, Bueller, you will never go on OnlyFans.

Speaker 7 Exactly. So

Speaker 1 Denise is like, you know, my kids have been through a lot with their dad, and it hasn't really been perfect with he and Lola or any of his kids.

Speaker 1 So I hope he does recognize that, you know, because he's missing out and she's getting she's getting choked up talking about it yeah

Speaker 3 yeah i was curious to see you since you had your fucking neck done would you do your fucking neck again god damn charlie jesus christ and then it cuts to her and she's like yeah i wanted to see how it looked but i think i'm good on getting my neck done maybe

Speaker 11 any chance you can call up a mealio so we can see what his what's going on with his neck he asked a soup if this is a potato or a carrot and his neck said is this a fucking, and the carrot said, is that a fucking neck or a fucking playing card?

Speaker 8 You know, what the fuck is that thing?

Speaker 15 A shelf?

Speaker 5 By the way.

Speaker 1 Why was it strange to me? I don't know why, but why was it so strange to me that Charlie Sheen ordered a lentil soup? I just don't see him as someone who orders a lentil soup.

Speaker 8 His order was odd.

Speaker 23 He ordered lentil soup and the calamari.

Speaker 7 Which I thought was, I thought both things were odd.

Speaker 1 I really, you know what, I have to say,

Speaker 1 I don't enjoy a lentil soup. I find them to be a very sad soup.

Speaker 4 Oh, I love lentil soup. Oh, really?

Speaker 23 I make it, yeah.

Speaker 30 I make it every couple of weeks. I ate a lot of lentil soup.

Speaker 8 I like lentils.

Speaker 1 It's, you know, one of my favorite Barbar Streisand movies.

Speaker 28 Ha!

Speaker 7 Chickpea, can you hear me?

Speaker 1 No, I do like lentils, but I just feel like lentil soup. I don't know, it's like too

Speaker 1 and grainy. Not grainy, it's like little,

Speaker 1 like little bits and bobs in my soup. I don't know.

Speaker 4 A lot of tiny things.

Speaker 1 A lot of tiny things. Tiny little things.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I want my soup to be either a puree

Speaker 1 or like a chowda.

Speaker 11 I want to be chowda.

Speaker 24 Oh, I'm into like a lot of shit in my soups.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 11 So she doesn't like his neck, basically.

Speaker 6 But to him, she's like, oh, it looks fucking grainy.

Speaker 18 It looks real fucking good, you know.

Speaker 34 And he goes, yeah, you know, I'd let them do it again if they want to, unless I'm playing a character that lived in a turtleneck.

Speaker 11 I mean, I don't know. I guess I could do that.
Am I right?

Speaker 4 God, this reality TV thing, right? I'm killing it.

Speaker 7 Am I killing it?

Speaker 28 God.

Speaker 1 His turtleneck bit is great.

Speaker 1 So she's like, yeah, it looks good. It looks good.

Speaker 1 And then Charlie's like, well, see,

Speaker 1 this is not a date meal. And he points to Denise's pizza.
Because I guess it's a reference to his Westwood apartment date. She's like, yeah, well, it's because I had two pieces of the pizza.

Speaker 14 He's like, okay, two.

Speaker 33 You're going to take this with it?

Speaker 28 She's like, sure.

Speaker 7 You know what's funny?

Speaker 32 Like, I could never picture you guys being married.

Speaker 7 What?

Speaker 4 How can you not picture it?

Speaker 6 I mean, what mother's not like, hey, I fucking had your back during the crack, cocaine, and hooker stories.

Speaker 8 You know what I mean?

Speaker 4 It was like regular family night over here.

Speaker 33 Sometimes

Speaker 33 I think about like, if you were still married and like, if we all lived in the same house, um, what that would be like.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Um,

Speaker 1 yeah, so here's what you can do: um, imagine 10 prostitutes walking in like Thanksgiving,

Speaker 1 Except it's all the time.

Speaker 6 Imagine trying to give you your breakfast out of a wine bottle.

Speaker 32 It's because you stole my sippy cups.

Speaker 7 I mean, why are we still bringing that up?

Speaker 34 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 And then

Speaker 1 he's sifting. Then Charlie starts sifting through more carrots.
And he's like, wow, I'm really hitting the jackpot with this place.

Speaker 1 By the way, I love that they're just, Bravo is so excited that Charlie Sheen is on camera, that literally nothing has happened. We're watching him like sifting through carrots right now.

Speaker 1 Denise is like, yeah, I'm mad. You know, I'm glad we did this.
Not mad. I'm glad.
And we should do this more often. Get together, put carrots in front of Charlie, watch him freaked out.

Speaker 1 God, it's hilarious.

Speaker 37 You're a superstar, Charlie Sheen.

Speaker 32 You're a superstar too, Mom.

Speaker 32 Jesus, you guys are both superstars. I'm scared of being famous.
Like, what would people say about me?

Speaker 33 Oh, well, we'll do what I do.

Speaker 1 Just don't read anything.

Speaker 33 Because if you don't read it it doesn't exist

Speaker 8 yeah you know it's funny he's giving her that that advice because you know god he would tweet me things that were disgusting i mean i became a shell of myself after his tweets jesus

Speaker 1 it's i mean it is so funny how denise really is like she holds so much compassion for people because i would never talk to this man again and she talks about how he was slamming her in the tabloids and this and that what i remember when we see her is like the worst mother of all time.

Speaker 12 What a shitty mother.

Speaker 12 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Was this like what, around 2005 or so, 2004, 2005? I don't remember what it was. I don't remember.
Somewhere there was no time.

Speaker 30 I find it better to just not remember years.

Speaker 24 And then we see some stuff on the screen and Denise is talking about like, you know, like he was slamming her. Meanwhile, she was not doing that back to him.

Speaker 26 He was spiraling and she was raising her own kids and plus took in his sons from Brooke because both parents were unstable.

Speaker 12 Brooke had to go to substance abuse treatment.

Speaker 23 And so she was raising Brooke's children and her own children at the same time.

Speaker 15 And he's going off on her on Twitter and stuff, which is so shitty.

Speaker 24 And also still shitty of Brooke when Brooke just came out this week and had an article like, Denise doesn't pay me shit to do a show. I've never seen a paycheck from that show.

Speaker 24 And now she won't even call me back.

Speaker 6 I think Denise has done enough from you or for you for you to be able to shut your fucking mouth, Brooke.

Speaker 1 Okay. Yeah, I agree.
I agree.

Speaker 1 So now Charlie is like, you know brad pritt said something so smart he said if i look good in a picture i'll take it but he would never read the story attached because he knew exactly what what it was going to be man i am such a fan never met the man and lola's like i met him and they're like what

Speaker 33 and she's like yeah i know he used to cook you breakfast i'm so jealous like yeah yeah i used to be friends with his kids because we used to go to beach camp so we just like sleepover and probably would make breakfast in the morning it figures that charlie would be a fan of fucking that guy.

Speaker 17 I mean, have you read any stories about him and his child rearing lately?

Speaker 8 Good God. He's like, God,

Speaker 3 I really respect that guy.

Speaker 8 What a dad.

Speaker 7 Yeah, what a dad.

Speaker 5 All right.

Speaker 33 Yeah, it's just funny because I never knew my dad was such a big fan.

Speaker 1 And Denise is like, well, I wish Brad Pitt would make me breakfast like some of his jeans, if you know what I'm talking about.

Speaker 29 One time I woke up and I thought, oh my God, that's Brad Pitt, but I just couldn't see where it very well.

Speaker 4 It was Aaron's dick.

Speaker 1 It was Aaron's dick. It was just a dick.

Speaker 6 I was like, you're so good and a river runs through it. And he was like, honey, it's my dick.

Speaker 1 I said, I loved you in 12 monkeys. But then I realized it was just 12 inches, if you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 32 That's so funny. Like, I never knew my dad was such a big fan of Brad Pen.

Speaker 4 Oh, you know what?

Speaker 34 I think this is it. So thank you for this.
The reality TV experiment has passed. I'm great at it.
And let's do this again.

Speaker 27 Maybe next time you could just take me to an actual farm and have me eat cow shit and I could walk away with E.

Speaker 34 coli instead of trying to trick me through carrots. That would be great.

Speaker 1 And they leave and seen. And that is the episode.
So yeah, fun times. Next week is the season finale.

Speaker 1 Thanks everyone for being here for another light and frothy Denise Richards and her wild things recap. And we'll be back with more recaps throughout the week.

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Speaker 33 Picture this.

Speaker 38 You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange. The horizon doesn't look right.
At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.

Speaker 38 Then the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all.
It's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water, and it's racing straight toward you.

Speaker 38 On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning.

Speaker 38 No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation.

Speaker 38 In this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive.

Speaker 38 Follow Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Against the Odds Tsunami in Thailand early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.