#2943 RHOM S7E7 Part 1: It’s My Party, and I’ll Shame if I Want To

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Speaker 3 Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crap Ins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today

Speaker 3 is Mr. Ronnie Carom.
Hi, Ronnie. How are you?

Speaker 2 Time. What a special time in life.

Speaker 3 Ronnie, I hope you are enjoying this episode because in a little bit later, I'm going to put all of our text messages on screens behind me, and you will be humiliated. So

Speaker 2 dare your ass to do it as well yeah no one is safe

Speaker 3 in our texts no one is safe we are talking about real housewives of miami today

Speaker 3 and before we get into that first of all thanks to everyone who came over and watched us on amazon live we're doing it again this monday we're actually doing double duty there'll be an amazon live and there'll be a crappy hour so lots of live time with ben and ronnie uh can't wait for that it's gonna be so much.

Speaker 3 We had so much, like we literally had so much fun hawking sheet pans and regular pans and other things, coffee items that like it was a blast. Come join us for the next one.

Speaker 3 Also, patreon.com slash watch your crap-ins is where you can watch us, not just listen with crap is on demand. We also do bonus episodes.
We'll have a bony up next week.

Speaker 3 Ronnie and I are going on a little baby trip this weekend and maybe we'll have some reports from there. You never know.
And I think that's basically all there is to.

Speaker 2 Yeah, Yeah, we're going to a little Vegas vacay. We're going to have some fun.
We'll try and record while we're there for our next bonus episode. We'd love a little out-of-town bonus.

Speaker 3 Yeah, going back to Vega. Vegas.
Well, Vega. We were making it Vega.
Vega.

Speaker 3 Yep.

Speaker 2 Super excited for that. And also, the Amazon Live is going to be at 4 p.m.
Pacific time. Okay.
So it's going to be this Monday and the following Monday. So join us for that.

Speaker 2 Also, what was I going to say? Also, I'm still wearing my douchebag glasses because I did get my eyes done and I'm still punched in the face.

Speaker 2 I don't know how long these bruises are going to take to go away, but I'm sick of walking around like this.

Speaker 3 It's very exciting.

Speaker 3 Well, you're mainly, you're mainly healed. I don't know.
I think you're very, I think you're being your own worst critic right now. It's bruised.

Speaker 2 I'll show you. I just don't want to do it for the whole time.
See, I'm still like bruised. And also, I have bruises under here where I didn't get any eye work, which I don't really understand, like

Speaker 2 down here. But, you know, happy with the results.
Hello, look at these gorgeous peepers.

Speaker 2 So anyway, I'm just hiding the bruises for a little bit but okay well okay you just have to tell people because then if you don't they only watch this and not the other ones are going to be like what the it's this douchebag or i'm just regular flavor douchebag i'm not usually glasses plus my regular douchebag personality okay well uh today we are talking miami as i mentioned this is episode season seven episode seven it's called textual tension and uh a real good humdinger of a miami episode this season is so good This cast is so good.

Speaker 3 I was cringing so hard during this. People are mad on the internet, which is always fun.
Always good when a show can get people on Twitter angry. Everyone's really angry at Julia.

Speaker 3 Well, actually, they're angry at the cast.

Speaker 2 Julia? What about mad at Julia? Julia.

Speaker 2 Well, people have been.

Speaker 3 No, people are mad at the cast because it's like...

Speaker 3 Julia threw a whole ass glass of water

Speaker 3 on Gurdy and the cast just stood there. But then when Gurdy does her thing, the cast walks out.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. And it's like,

Speaker 2 especially Marisoul, like, really, of all people, Mari Soul's like, I'm lame. I'm morally opposed to this.
Oh, really?

Speaker 2 Aren't you the lady who has people followed by private eyes and et cetera, et cetera? I mean, I don't have time to like even list all of Mary Soul's crimes on this show over the years.

Speaker 3 I think that what we are learning, or what we probably have already learned, is that when it comes to things like throwing glasses, flipping tables, things like that, physical elements, people are pretty, I'm going to say they're chill, but they're used to it.

Speaker 3 They just sort of sit there and they react or whatever, but they don't really, it doesn't really make them want to leave. They're just like, oh, okay, well, we're going to be in the trailer.

Speaker 3 But when it comes to like infractions of private off-screen stuff, that's when they really get themselves all, you know, in a tizzy.

Speaker 3 I mean, just look at last week's episode about Katie and the recording of Shannon Bedour without her you know didn't know the recording was even happening i mean like they are they lose their minds because so much i think of being a celebrity is like you know i am coming here and i'm presenting a version of myself and what i choose not to put on camera is like sacrosanct to me sacrosanct it's but like and so like when someone violates that that's like like you can pour all the drinks on me you want but like the moment that you show people that i sent like a smile emoji in a private text message, it's like privacy is like the, is the final frontier of decency when it comes to like a real housewife, it turns out.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 yes, but they share their texts all the time. They literally, we've seen so many episodes where people, I mean, with consent.

Speaker 2 Lisa Vanderpomp showing up with poster boards or whatever when she had Ken print out in like very large, remember?

Speaker 2 She had Ken print out in very large things the text that she had shared with Lisa Rinna or whoever it was about all the Lucy, Lucy, apple juicy. Oh, no, it was, was it the who were those texts from?

Speaker 2 Don't you remember them? That was very heavy. She worked out the texts.
Um, we've seen fights over texts and printed texts and what people are saying in text forever.

Speaker 2 I don't understand how everybody's making this a huge thing now. Give me a break.
Now, that said, I don't think it really helped Gertie's case because the text proved nothing, but

Speaker 2 whatever.

Speaker 3 I mean, I was sad to see it was hilarious to watch, but I'm like, I didn't like Gertie's seeding the high ground.

Speaker 3 But, but that being said, wow, it was hilarious.

Speaker 2 There's no high ground. This is Real House Lives of Miami.
There's like literally no high ground and there was nothing in those texts. It was like, oh, I'm cheating on my wife.

Speaker 2 There was nothing like that. It was like,

Speaker 2 she says she begged me to come to a thing and she didn't beg me. That's what I proved.
And I mean, she never really said. that you begged her to go anyway.
Yeah. But the whole thing was just so silly.

Speaker 2 I loved it.

Speaker 3 Gertie also showed Kenya Moore how to do a proper public stunt, which is, you know, you gather your friends for what's supposed to be an uplifting event, and then you actually air stuff out, but you don't get yourself fired in the process and you don't cross any true moral lines.

Speaker 3 Like, this is what, this is what Kenya should have done. Something like this.

Speaker 3 Gertie did a thing where you appall your cast, but you still have your job afterwards.

Speaker 2 Yeah, she did it right. I mean, listen, I loved it.
I thought it was great. So let's start.

Speaker 2 We'll do like Miami does.

Speaker 2 Two hours ago before Ben and Ronnie ended this recap. Here we go.
Textual tension. Julie and Martina arriving at their phone.

Speaker 2 And they brought home their little boys, their new little adopted boys, which I guess are not adopted yet. I think to this day, they're still not adopted.
I don't know what's going on over there.

Speaker 3 Don't know, don't care. Just know that they have some children living in their house with them.
And that's all.

Speaker 3 That's all that I, the technicalities are not something i am going to personally look up because i don't care about the i'm not saying you can't care i'm just saying i don't you know i'm like whatever about the they're there status i mean i care because are you allowed to just bring children on that you're not adopted yet

Speaker 2 kid to like are you do they get to do they get paid are they do they sign waivers like how does that work i don't I don't know you're allowed to just shoot random children. I mean, shit.

Speaker 2 Well, maybe I'll have a show where I'm a parent and just get some kids off the street and be like, hey, you want to be on TV today? You're playing my kids.

Speaker 3 I just like that. Like originally, like three episodes ago, it's like, we are keeping them off camera because it is sacred.

Speaker 2 Then last episode, it's, well, we are having no one can come over because they see strangers and they are traumatized and they don't want to move or talk or anything like that.

Speaker 3 They're like, we want to protect the children because when they see strangers, it's triggering to them.

Speaker 3 And then this episode, they're like, okay, we'll show the kids and we're going to show them the craziest faced ladies that they'll ever see. Do you want to see some real life Dr.
Seuss renderings?

Speaker 3 Here we go.

Speaker 2 If there was any trauma in these kids' lives previously, before they found these parents, it is about to be completely erased in their minds by the new trauma they're about to face with these faces.

Speaker 3 The Lenny Hoxteen effect.

Speaker 2 So fighting. Because, you know,

Speaker 2 these ladies are, these are the Miami ladies. They will start fights with these children.
They'll be like, what did you say to me? What did you say?

Speaker 2 Did you hear what he said to me in front of Frankie? Did you?

Speaker 3 So we meet Luca and Jackson. So cute.

Speaker 2 And why would you bring a baby onto Bravo and name it Jax? Are you fucking kidding me? Do you guys have the channel that you're on? Like, do you subscribe to this channel?

Speaker 2 What terrible juju for a child?

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's that's bad.

Speaker 3 So, um, uh, Julia is sort of showing them off, and um, then they're like walking around this farm, and Martina is holding the kids, and it's all it's all very cute the kids are getting a nice farm life and then julia's like how do we smile mama has big smile can we do smile all three of us smile and then the kids smile and well at least one of them smiles and one of them smiles the other sticks his tongue out at the camera that's probably the jacks who's like no i won't smile

Speaker 2 butthead

Speaker 2 they're so cute by the way these kids they're adorable little kids and who else is cute man who not who didn't get any credit in this episode the cow.

Speaker 2 There was like a little cow and it came running up. It was so cute.
I want a cow. The cow was great.

Speaker 3 Is it too late? The goat on the leash. The goat on the leash was adorable.

Speaker 3 Martina and Julia are, they seem like they're actually very lovely parents. They're being very warm.
And

Speaker 3 even Martina, you know, it's funny because it seemed like Martina had no interest in children. She loves like a...

Speaker 3 a sleek, modern home that does not seem kid-friendly at all, but she seems actually quite, quite warm with the kids.

Speaker 2 And Julia's like, oh, Martina is acting 20 years younger and she has so much energy. Look at, she's jumping around.
She's tweeting even more about surrogates being terrible.

Speaker 2 I mean, God, she has so much love to give.

Speaker 2 Yeah, and Martina is like, oh, this is a chicken coop. Look, this is where eggs come from.
This is where eggs come from.

Speaker 2 And she's like, yes, this is where eggs come from. Not supermarket.
Do not break egg. Whatever you do, do not break egg.
We will kill you if you break egg. He's like, boom.
You broke egg.

Speaker 2 Oh, well, we let dog eat egg. We let the goat eat egg.

Speaker 3 Let me tell you something. Julia Martina, just going to put this out here.
Don't give your toddler an egg. It's just not.
It's not going to last. Like, that's just, it's too soon.
Too soon.

Speaker 3 Give them something soft and plushy.

Speaker 2 They need some time. Yeah.
Speaking of soft and plushy, here comes Adriana. She's like, hello.

Speaker 2 I dress like school kid crayons so they would like me. Okay.
Am I okay to get close to them? Is it okay if I get close to them?

Speaker 2 I have French callboy in the car. Do they want to meet? Do they want to meet?

Speaker 3 Want to meet? Want to meet? You want to meet? We have sex seven times. So Martina, they're like, oh, this is Adriana.
And so one of the kids is there. And then she's like, where's the other one?

Speaker 2 Julia goes, he is walking goat unleash.

Speaker 3 And then we see this kid is walking a goat on a leash. And he's like, I think it's the younger one too.
It's like the one-year-old is walking a goat on a leash. And it was actually so cute.

Speaker 3 I was like, wow, I am impressed. I feel like a one-year-old walking a goat.

Speaker 3 That's a tall, I feel like at that point, the goat's walking the one-year-old, but whatever, the two of them together, I was like, okay, my heart is melting a little bit.

Speaker 2 Well, I was impressed with the goat because goats will not be leashed, okay? Goats are those animals, Fafo. That's what I will say about goats, Fafo.
Okay.

Speaker 2 You know about my aunt's goat, Habibi, who charges me every time it sees me. And any version of Habibi, there's been many versions over the years.

Speaker 2 And whenever she gets a new damn goat, she names it habibi. And every time my cousins push me into his little pen, and he charges me every time

Speaker 2 and comes at me with those satanic little eyes. So I was really impressed to see a non-habibi goat.
I'm wondering if it's my aunt who makes her goat so evil.

Speaker 2 I just always figured it was in their nature. But maybe she

Speaker 3 goats. Like, don't they represent the devil?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 But, you know, so does my aunt sometimes. Like, she's scary.
she ran the bowling alley.

Speaker 2 She was like the property manager and she wore like polyester suits and had like a big crazy afro and glasses like mine. Maybe that's why I like these glasses.

Speaker 2 And she would walk around with like the big chain of keys on her key ring and she was the habe owner. And I'm wondering if she ever just trained habibi to come for people.
Maybe.

Speaker 2 Are goats a lesbian thing, by the way? Because Josie is a lesbian and these ladies are lesbians and they all have goats.

Speaker 3 Well, there was a season of the amazing race where two gay guys won and they had a goat farm. So maybe it's just a maybe it's just an LGBTQIA plus

Speaker 2 thing.

Speaker 2 Maybe it is. Maybe I should get a goat.
Maybe I should get over my trauma by getting a goat that doesn't charge me.

Speaker 3 Maybe all this time, the reason why goats are associated with the devil is because it's homophobes who pushed that narrative when actually goats are really just a gay thing.

Speaker 2 Maybe, yeah, gays love goats. Yeah,

Speaker 2 gays love goats. You heard it here first, everybody.

Speaker 2 So, well, actually, no, you shouldn't say that because I remember growing up really religious.

Speaker 2 And my, I remember someone in the church saying, well, if you, you allow gays to be with each other, then who's to stop a man from marrying a goat? That was always the thing.

Speaker 2 So maybe don't, don't say gays love goats because they'll take that.

Speaker 3 Like, see, I told you, now he wants to marry a goat.

Speaker 3 Yeah. And they did do goat yoga on that first episode of King's Court.
so it was

Speaker 2 gay in it minus the why.

Speaker 3 Well, the why is just in a different place.

Speaker 2 That's true.

Speaker 3 If you, if yoga,

Speaker 3 and I am scramble yoga, yoga changes changes to a gay.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 It's a gay.

Speaker 3 Just move the why to the back.

Speaker 2 So now Alexia comes and Julia is like, oh, look at this boy so strong carrying egg. He, we're going to make omelette with egg.
And he drops the egg. And so they let Lulu eat the egg.

Speaker 2 I don't know who Lulu is. I'm assuming it's the dog.
I hope it's not the dog. I hope so.
They've got hanging around there. It's like the child that no one likes.

Speaker 2 Lulu, eat the egg, stupid child. No, Jack's not you.
We love you. Lulu is the one we don't like.
Lulu is the Christie of this.

Speaker 2 What's the tennis player's name that Martina hates?

Speaker 3 Steffi Graff or

Speaker 2 Lulu is the Steffi Graff of this household. We don't.

Speaker 3 No, Chris, Chris, Chris Jenner.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 3 She probably hates Chris Jenner, too. Chris is Everett.

Speaker 2 Chris Everett. Yeah.
Ludo is Chris Everett Steffi Graff of

Speaker 2 goats.

Speaker 3 Not really.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 they're cool about the egg being dropped, which is nice. And then

Speaker 3 just want to point out

Speaker 3 that. We've been talking about this egg.
We've been talking about this egg for 15 minutes. I just want to talk about the momentum.

Speaker 2 It's an important scene. It's an important scene.
This is like a new gay family. We have to judge every moment that passes.

Speaker 2 So the kid gets some apple juice, which I don't know if you should like reward your child for dropping an egg, right? I think you should say, it's okay.

Speaker 2 We won't beat you for dropping egg, but no apple juice for a week.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 I mean, you never know.

Speaker 3 This may be where the youth of America has gone wrong, is that they are spoiled too much. And the chief spoiler is Alexia, who also enters with gifts.
She has like donuts and stuff.

Speaker 3 And so Adriana immediately is feeling insecure because Adriana came with nothing.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 she's just like, she's like, well, I, you know, she's like, I don't, you know, I don't come bearing gifts. My present is a heart full of love and to be here for them anytime they need me.

Speaker 3 And I don't need to bribe them. My intentions are pure.
It's like, no, you forgot. You forgot to go to CVS beforehand.

Speaker 2 Yeah, also Adriana is not as rich as everybody else. She's like, I'm not paying for shit for these kids.
She's like, your mother is me.

Speaker 2 Your mother is not a good friend to me. So don't ever beat me to a text.
There, there's some advice from your auntie, okay? There's some Tia advice for you.

Speaker 3 I did love the way that. I did love the way that Adriana and Alexia like really just like swooped up these kids.
Like it was like a big mommy moment.

Speaker 3 Like, it's kind of like one of those moments where it is, it feels like it is the village and everyone swoops in and hugs them.

Speaker 3 Like, there's something like, as much as I like, I'm always being like, oh my God, that's so mommy. That's so mommy.

Speaker 3 But I'm like, there is actually something really incredibly lovely about like when moms come together and support each other. Women supporting women, okay?

Speaker 3 But just like that maternal love that just started to flow through the scene was really very warm to me.

Speaker 2 You're touched.

Speaker 3 I was touched.

Speaker 3 I dropped all my eggs.

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Speaker 2 I'm not going anywhere.

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Speaker 2 I was very touched by the donuts. I was like, that is a good amp right there.
Don't bring me some goddamn toy. Bring me some carbs.
Carbs dripping in sugar.

Speaker 2 So Adriana and Alexia are both wearing really bright things to impress the kids. And they're wearing neons.
And Adriana's like, oh, wow, there's like a neon off. Like, oh, my God.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 then

Speaker 2 Alexi is like, oh, my God. They already found out I'm the cool tia.
I'm the cool tia. I'm the cool.
I'm the cool one. And then we get a call from Karamo from Queer Eye.

Speaker 3 Yes, Karamo, America's favorite. And Julia's like, oh, hi, my friend.

Speaker 2 This is Jackson. And this is Luca.
And

Speaker 2 Jackson, Luca, this is Karamo, who will be harvesting Marcellus for his face very soon.

Speaker 3 And Caramo's like, hey, if you ever need me to babysit, you need me to take them out. I can do that.
I'm Karamo.

Speaker 2 I may not be coming back to Queer Eye, but I am coming back with my new show, Queer Eye for the Possibly Straight Babies. Okay.
Change your shirt. Balance Iaga already.

Speaker 2 Everyone knows you didn't earn it. Okay.

Speaker 2 Back to the drawing boards.

Speaker 3 He's like, oh, I have to say, this is so much better than shooting with Mary from selling so-and-so.

Speaker 3 So Julia is like...

Speaker 2 Caramel is thirsty. He'll shoot on any of these shows.
Caramo just shows up anywhere.

Speaker 3 He does. He really does.
He does that big fake laugh. And so Julia is like, Cramo is friend.

Speaker 2 And I met Cramo at some event for goat and we hit it off. Well, we hit it.

Speaker 3 We hit the orange juice off the goat's back.

Speaker 2 And his energy, he is so warm. And he's such an activist and great man and put smile on my face.

Speaker 3 So he's like, listen, I just want to give you a call because I'm coming to Miami.

Speaker 3 You know, the National LGBTQ Task Force, I'm getting honored. And I just had to invite you and your cameras.

Speaker 2 Isn't the task force like an army thing?

Speaker 3 I don't really know what a task force is. Who's two came up with that for?

Speaker 2 I always hear it in like military shows, you know, and they're like, call the task force. And then the task force.

Speaker 3 It's an armed force organization for a special operation. So you heard it here first.
First, Karamo has started up as private army for gays.

Speaker 2 Against gay goats. Damn it.

Speaker 3 It's a unit specially organized for a task.

Speaker 3 You know, there was some, some, honestly, look, look, some small dick person came up with the term task force because someone was like, I need you to get some people to do this task for me.

Speaker 3 Like, okay, everyone, we need to do a task. We will be the task force.
Like, who's going to do it?

Speaker 2 Could you just bring me a water? It's like some bus boy somewhere. It's like, I'm sorry, but I'm in a task force now.
You'll have to talk to my union leader.

Speaker 3 Who thought about pairing the term force with task? Task is. Task isn't even as like maybe if it was called like a chore force, maybe an errand chore force.

Speaker 3 A task is like the smallest thing, right? It's like a line of cleaning duties for us.

Speaker 3 It's like someone really had to elevate their stature. They're like, because they're only getting assigned tasks instead of chores or obligations or duties.
They just had tasks.

Speaker 2 And then they get there. They're like, you know what? I'm really good at picking up dry cleaning for people.
I'm joining the task force. And then they get there and they're handed a gun.

Speaker 2 They're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa.

Speaker 3 Don't fuck around on the task force.

Speaker 2 What's the task force, bro? What did you think you were going to be doing? It's called the task force. I thought I'd be watering your plants while you were out of town.

Speaker 3 Yo, that's a chore. This is the task force.
For the task force, you know what you're going to do? You're going to get me a sweetened loaf from the cupboard.

Speaker 2 Refill my bread or I'll shoot you.

Speaker 2 The task force never forgets. So Martina is playing hide and seek with Luca.

Speaker 2 And he's like, I found Ellen DeGeneres. So then Martina's, I found Ellen DeGeneres' haircut.
Martina's like, hey, wait a minute.

Speaker 2 I thought long and hard about this haircut.

Speaker 4 Luca's like, oh my God, it's Tom Petty.

Speaker 2 So Julia is like, the National LGBTQ Task Force is all about fighting for freedom and justice and getting splendor for LGBTQ people.

Speaker 2 Every event in Miami is a party, but this one is a special party because it's all about my people and all about my community and no surrogates allowed.

Speaker 3 Okay, Martina, I'm going to need you to be quiet about that so wait what do you you've this is the second time you've mentioned it what is martina's surrogacy thing oh this is another thing i thought you knew about this this is the you maybe you missed this on your on your recovery week martina tweeted out

Speaker 3 and she tweeted out and said surrogacy is just wrong sorry sometimes you can't have it all And everyone got mad at her. So then she had to erase it.
But it's kind of like, what the fuck?

Speaker 3 We're sitting here watching your adoption storyline. Like all

Speaker 3 your storyline for for two years well not for two years but there's been a big through line about starting a family and like what we can do to start a family and how family is so important and you're going to be all of a sudden shitting on surrogacy like when that's really an the only option for some people and for some people that's also like a viable way to gain income it was just so

Speaker 3 it was just it just was so obnoxious so yeah everyone's been rat razzing martina about it including me oh this lady My God, her tweets.

Speaker 2 I read one last week, and I was just like, you know what, I need to stop doing is reading Martina tweets. And it's not like I follow her or anything.

Speaker 2 They just keep showing because she's always pissing people off. So they keep showing up in whatever I'm reading, whatever social media thing I'm reading.

Speaker 2 And I just need to stay away from her because she infuriates me. And then I watch this show.

Speaker 2 I would never, I'm never infuriated by her on this show, but oh my God, I just need to not ever read another tweet. I had some like guns and black people tweet last week that she seemed to find that.

Speaker 2 God?

Speaker 3 Martina, I tried.

Speaker 2 I tried to find it too.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's too, it's too, I don't even know what it is. I'm not even gonna, I tried to find it to read it, but I just, I guess the point is stay away from Martina tweets if you're me.

Speaker 3 I know. I used to love her.
I always loved her. Like, I was like, oh my God, Martina Naratalova.
And then she was on the show. And I'm like, oh my God, Martina Naratalova.

Speaker 3 But, you know, social media is a bitch. And like, really, also, you're going to do these terrible tweets while your wife is having a villain edit this season.
Like, we're at least

Speaker 3 way to go. and also andy cohen had a surrogate so like think about your boss for a moment but whatever

Speaker 2 so um okay so anyway they're talking about this karamo thing and the task force and julia is very proud to serve her community because they get her dry cleaning so we go to oliver brazilian furniture where larza is meeting Karen, the most exciting, the most excited furniture store worker I've ever seen on one of these shows.

Speaker 2 She's like, oh my God,

Speaker 2 I'm so happy to design your dream closet. I'm Karen.

Speaker 2 Karen from Oliver. I was like, can you

Speaker 2 get Karen a benzo? She's about to fucking explode all over the place.

Speaker 3 Well, she's been trapped in this closet showroom for, you know, who knows how many years before someone finally walked in. So she's like, I'm so happy to design your dream closet.

Speaker 3 I'm basically, they say I'm the Karamo of Karamo of closets. So Larsa's like, oh my my God.

Speaker 2 I'm the non-LGBTQ plus task force leader. Okay.
There is nothing taskier than designing a closet.

Speaker 3 I've been put on the National Closet Task Force, and it's our mission to make sure everyone has a closet. So that way gays like Karamo can come out of them.

Speaker 2 Lars is that closer. Oh my God, like, like, I really love the classic task force because

Speaker 2 they're like part of my community.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I want a closet where I can see them and get to like everything that's important to me because like I love this color and I can put my gun in the closet.

Speaker 2 And then Karen's like, huh!

Speaker 2 And Larsa's like, I don't really have a gun.

Speaker 4 LOL.

Speaker 3 LOL. I'm like, you have a gun.
You totally have. You just said that on TV.

Speaker 3 You're in Florida. It's okay.

Speaker 3 To say that you don't have a gun in Florida, I think, would be the more remarkable thing.

Speaker 2 Larsa is having an interesting trajectory this season. Last week, she was watching Trump in the restaurant.
And this week, she's talking about her guns. Like, what the hell?

Speaker 2 I also like Larza's closet design aesthetic. She's like, you know what? Like, here's like what I want, like, in a closet.
Like, I want to be able to, like, find things in it.

Speaker 2 Who goes in there and is like, you know what? I want the most confusing fucking closet. I don't want to know what anything is.

Speaker 4 Make my closet look like MC Usher.

Speaker 2 Um, Larza would never say that. She knows she would know who that is.

Speaker 2 Please, who's AMC Usher? Like, do they still have that?

Speaker 4 That's crazy. Do they have ushers at AMC? That's cool.
Like,

Speaker 4 um, yeah, so I want, like, a gun in my closet. Mala, make make America Larsa again.
So, Karen's like, okay, she's like, I love my penthouse.

Speaker 3 I love it. It's easy.

Speaker 4 And it's literally a mansion in the sky, except it's not a mansion. It's a penthouse.
But I just feel like the condo is like, it's just like not a family place for us.

Speaker 4 So I purchased a nice house and it's not moving ready.

Speaker 3 But now I have a house for when my kids never visit me.

Speaker 2 I'm like, when do you you like,

Speaker 3 when does Larsa have her kids around? They're all, first of all, they're all like grown up and they're all like in LA, aren't they?

Speaker 3 And she, and Larsa buying houses, this is like, this is, this is a storyline that's been plaguing America for a few years now because we even had to watch Larsa on Selling Sunset look at houses to buy.

Speaker 3 It's never ending with her. She's just always buying houses and she never settles on one.

Speaker 2 Yeah, didn't she already say the line? Yeah, but like this house, like, this is like my first, like, first house like that I've like ever like owned like on myself.

Speaker 2 Like, I think we've already heard her say that. Why does she keep saying that all the time? You already owned a house that was already yours.
Or is she saying that about the penthouse?

Speaker 2 Like, finally, it's like my own, like, penthouse.

Speaker 3 Like, like, finally. She literally says it about everything.

Speaker 4 She's like, finally, this is like my first Starbucks that I've ordered by myself.

Speaker 3 Like, it's like, you cannot keep milking this divorce for some sort of independent storyline.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the kids all moved away because they're sick of Larsa trying to date their friends.

Speaker 2 So, um, Larsa's like, yeah, like my friend, like, Stephanie, like, it's not, like, I've so like coming, like she's gonna like redo her home too.

Speaker 2 Like, so like, I feel like, like, I wanted to, like, feel like, come, like, to get ideas. Like,

Speaker 4 yeah, this is the first host. Yeah, I'm really excited for Stephanie to come.

Speaker 3 So, um,

Speaker 3 then, uh, so we're looking at like digital renderings of the closet,

Speaker 3 and the designer's like, this is your closet. Hold on one second.
Um, I don't know how Karama wound up on my rendering, but there he is.

Speaker 3 He's really prevalent with all gay things, even just the mention of a closet. He just shows up.
Wow.

Speaker 2 Karama's like,

Speaker 2 it's the head of the LGBTQ plus task force. I would like to have a parlay with the head of the non-LGBTQ plus closet force.

Speaker 4 Do you feel like my closet is big enough?

Speaker 3 She's like, well, it's not small. I mean,

Speaker 3 it's good.

Speaker 3 It's good. It's like, you know, it's definitely not small.

Speaker 4 And she's like, I just want to maximize every corner of that closet.

Speaker 2 I felt bad that Marza has shot a whole closet scene and they cut it and just used it in a flashback because that's like Larsa's storyline this year.

Speaker 2 You know, she needs this closet storyline, and they just relegated it to a flashback.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's true. I didn't even realize I'd gone into a flashback.

Speaker 3 I thought this was, I thought they were just still sitting there talking about the closet, but little did I realize they were actually walking into her closet.

Speaker 3 I thought they were looking at a rendering. I'm so confused.

Speaker 2 You didn't notice because at the bottom, they put a little Chiron that said, We are sparing you from an actual Larza scene this season. You're welcome.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 Larsa says, this is a new chapter for me.

Speaker 4 And I think it's like more of my style and more of my vibes.

Speaker 3 Larsa, you have so many chapters without actually having an interesting book.

Speaker 2 Like

Speaker 3 it's like what you said, Ronnie. Every single episode, she's always announcing a new chapter in a new home, everything.

Speaker 2 Every single time. And every episode, she's announcing a new chapter on her face.
Every single time. Like, who gets plastic surgery between episodes? Like, you have a different face every episode now.

Speaker 2 I don't even know who you are right now.

Speaker 3 And I think at this point, she's just getting surgery from a flobe because I swear her features are just getting more sucked into the center.

Speaker 3 It's like she's attaching something to her face and just pulling it all forward.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's like a black hole. It's all being sucked in, you know.

Speaker 2 Um, she's like an elbow with eyes.

Speaker 3 So, Lars is from the elbow GT community.

Speaker 2 Um, I'm here from the LGBTQ plus um

Speaker 2 elbow task force

Speaker 2 Gay elbows picking up coffee only.

Speaker 3 So Stephanie comes over and Larsa is

Speaker 3 showing her the closet stuff and showing her samples.

Speaker 4 And Larsa is like, yeah, I was thinking something in this family would be nice.

Speaker 3 And Stephanie's like, yeah, you know, I have something very similar to this one. So I best have just like a closet innovator.
I guess I guess really I should be on the task force.

Speaker 3 I guess that's just what I'm saying.

Speaker 4 And Larsa's like, yeah, well, I'm doing it first, so give it back.

Speaker 3 Anyway,

Speaker 4 so here, look at this. Here's something, glass.
Do you like glass? Glass is nice, right?

Speaker 2 She's like, no, because it has fingerprints, Larsa. Glasska's fingerprints.
And she's like, no, but like, there's like a handle like. She goes, yeah, but you're still going to touch it, Larsa.

Speaker 2 She goes, well, but would you touch? Why would you touch glass? Like, you're not going to touch the glass. You're going to touch like only the handle, like of the door.

Speaker 2 And she's like, because I'm OCD. I don't know what, I don't know what that has to do with being OCD.
Like where you, you touch glass when you're OCD. I don't think that's what OCD is.

Speaker 2 I think it's the opposite.

Speaker 3 Yeah. No, I think she's just saying, I care about this stuff because I'm OCD because I'm concerned about,

Speaker 3 I'm, I'm concerned about fingerprints because I'm OCD.

Speaker 2 And she's like, no, you have to think these things. The whole group is dumb because people do touch glass.
Have you ever seen a glass door going into like a Nordstroms or wherever?

Speaker 2 I just really fancied myself up there or like opening a mall door. People don't grab the handle.
They press on the glass because they think that everybody's hands are dirtier than their hands.

Speaker 2 So they don't want to touch the hands. They want want to put their dirty hands all over the glass.
People are fucking monsters.

Speaker 2 And if you don't think you're one of them, you got another thing coming, okay? We are all from the same human monster DNA.

Speaker 3 Yeah, that's correct. We're all Georgia from next-gen New York City.

Speaker 2 So no one's boogers are gross except our own. You know, you better not pick your nose, but guess how I spend my afternoons? You know, it's like humans are disgusting.

Speaker 2 Like your cold is disgusting, but I'll go on a plane sneezing all over everybody.

Speaker 3 I mean, there's truth. Monsters, monsters.
So, Stephanie is lecturing Larsa about the closet choices now, which is my favorite.

Speaker 3 You know, Stephanie is so obnoxious, but I really enjoy the way she lectures people because they kind of all deserve it.

Speaker 3 She's like, You have to think these things through, like, the fingers, the makeup, you have to think it through. Like, you don't want to, like, you don't want to get it dirty, Larsa.

Speaker 3 Like, why do you want to have this here? You're going to get it dirty. You don't want to do that.
You have to think things through, Larsa. Larsa's like, What?

Speaker 4 Things things through? I don't understand what that means, though.

Speaker 2 Like, she's like, Yeah, but like, I'm self-diagnosed OCD and I like everything clean and I don't like fingerprints.

Speaker 2 And that's why I say boogers and Birkins just don't mix, which I also said, I think, two episodes ago, but I'm going to keep saying it.

Speaker 2 So you guys remember that I said it and it's turned into a guess.

Speaker 3 I'm just like hoping that this becomes a t-shirt that I can sell from the Shoma group. I'm like, yeah, you're trying too hard on this.

Speaker 3 This is the side of Stephanie I don't like is when she tries really hard to, you know, promote this. She is rich and she loves a rich lifestyle.
She's like, yeah, no kids for me. Thank you very much.

Speaker 3 And then they get some champagne and

Speaker 3 she's like, yep, that means that you're the VIP and you're spending a lot of money. Larsa.

Speaker 4 Lars is like, I think we are like an XYZ and such and that.

Speaker 2 Yeah, she loves her personality. She's like, I love Stephanie's like personality like, because like she's like, not a pet, like the bull like shit.

Speaker 2 So three days earlier, we see Stephanie scolding Lisa.

Speaker 2 About arriving to the sprinter van late. And Larsa's like, yeah, see, like, she's like not fake and she yells at the people that I don't like.
Like, so

Speaker 4 i like her that's fun like

Speaker 4 um so she's like by the way like i met lisa for lunch and i was just like telling her that like i think she needs to be a bit like a better friend and she's like running on empty in the friend department like because everyone's sick of her playing the victim all the time like and then we see like a flashback to their lunch and uh with you know This is where Lars is like, you're running low on friends.

Speaker 4 Like, this is like my new thing. You're running on empty with friends.
Like, you're a gas tank. You're a tank.
You look like a big tank.

Speaker 3 You should be on a task force where you could be the tank and everyone else could be the army. They can get inside you because you're a tank.

Speaker 2 Stephanie's like, I can tell that Larsa is not really over it. I can tell you that right now.
I know her really well.

Speaker 2 Because Larsa is like, we're just like in the leg cooks.

Speaker 2 So now they're talking about this big gala coming up. And Larsa's not going because she has a dinner.
But

Speaker 2 Stephanie's in good hands because Julia really loves to have fun. So don't worry about it.

Speaker 3 She loves fun. So now let's go to the National LGBTQ Task Force, Gala.
So people are arriving. Julia's on the step and repeat.
There's an entertainment reporter interviewing her, asking how she feels.

Speaker 2 She's like, I am feeling so loud and so proud to represent this community and also have really happy news to share.

Speaker 2 But unfortunately, you'll just have to look at another media outlet because you weren't on the Zoom in time. I'm so sorry.

Speaker 2 Hopefully, you have a news a news program that can tell you good news

Speaker 2 so um karamo is getting awarded with the national leadership award for his work tackling hiv stigma and advocating for mental health in the black queer community so we see karamo and um he's posing and stuff and she's invited all her friends and so stephanie comes and marisol comes and steph marisol and stephanie get in the car together and marisol's like oh it's you it's my girl my girl she goes I got a mini shaker because I know that the cockies are the weight of your heart.

Speaker 2 She's like, cockies and cash.

Speaker 3 Because there's like a little bar set up in the armrest in this Rolls-Royce. So Marisol's like, well, I guess I got the Nissan version of the Rolls-Royce because I don't have a mini bar in mine.

Speaker 3 I'm like, no, you... you got a Nissan.
That's why.

Speaker 3 Don't try to make us think that you're living in that small house with a Rolls-Royce. You have a Nissan lady and there's no bar in there because you're driving it yourself.

Speaker 2 Illegal. Just puts a little RR sticker over it.

Speaker 2 It's basically a Nissan juke. Not anymore.

Speaker 3 It's called a Rolls-Royce Road.

Speaker 2 I love the idea of Mary Soul driving around a little Nissan juke, just coming out with her giant flower dresses. Like, whoa, whoa, I wasn't expecting that.

Speaker 3 I didn't know there was a Nissan called a Nissan Juke.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. You've never seen it.
They're like the little boxy.

Speaker 2 they're kind of boxy but they like tilt down i like them i like the little boxy buttons i think they're so cute yeah look up nissan juke oh god it's like they want to be a mini cooper but they're not i love them i love the they're like little toy they look like a little toy they look like a shoe they look like a sneaker cars though you know i drove a one of those little fiat fiats like despicable me that was my despicable me era i was like almost 400 pounds bald and driving this little tiny car i could barely fit in and out of it it is a really cute little car but it looks honestly like a toy.

Speaker 3 It looks like a toy. This is not looking like a real car.

Speaker 2 I like that car. And look at the inside and the insides of it, the interior.
Very cute. Really car.
I think they stopped making it actually. Well, no, there's one in 2024.
All right, Juke, we're back.

Speaker 2 We're back in business. I'm going to the juke store today.
That's it.

Speaker 3 Nissan Juke is the marisol of cars. You just wait around long enough and you're back.

Speaker 2 So Mary Soul's like, wow, this car is gorgeous. Almost almost as gorgeous as my colon.
But um cha.

Speaker 2 All right. They want to talk about my colon.
My colon is gorgeous. It looks like a colon of a newborn.
I got my colon done. It was my first colonoscopy.
You know, I just never went to do that.

Speaker 2 I guess I waited too long. I didn't know what the hell was going on down there.
I thought it was going to be a big black hole like Lars' face, but it turned out I've got an amazing colon.

Speaker 2 It's gorgeous.

Speaker 3 And I got the picture to prove it. So this stuff is like, but what about your liver?

Speaker 3 Oh, how dare you say, caught astray right there. I mean, you realize you just fed me this booze in the back of your Rolls-Royce.
Or is this a Nissan Juke? Am I right?

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Speaker 3 Back at the party, Adriana arrives and poses.

Speaker 3 She says, hi to Julia.

Speaker 2 And Julia is like, oh, I sent a message to Marisol earlier to check on her colonoscopy.

Speaker 3 And she said, everything is good. And Adriana's like, oh, yeah, well, look, I know you're all up Alexia's ass, but I didn't know you were all up Marisol's ass too.

Speaker 3 I mean, so much so that when her doctors, they are looking for polyps, he's going to find a little miniature Julia's head in there being like, I'm here, I'm here.

Speaker 2 I'm like,

Speaker 3 but I, it was actually like unsettling this metaphor, this, this, this joke that Adrian was saying, because Adrian like pushed, poked her head forward and was like,

Speaker 3 really kind of sold the image of like lots of little Julia heads inside of Marisol's colon.

Speaker 2 So Lisa comes and she's like, I'm definitely not going to be late with Stephanie because she yelled at me. I don't want to hear that again.
Which you see, guys, yelling at people does work sometimes.

Speaker 2 And even Barry Soul's like, wow, she did something we couldn't do for a decade. So, God, Colin's off to you, Stephanie.

Speaker 3 She did something we couldn't do for a decade, which is bring the Nissan Juke back to a marketplace. So, back on, congratulations, Stephanie, Nissan Juke powerhouse influencer.

Speaker 3 So, Gertie arrives. She's like, oh, yes, she said loud.
So, look, see, look, I'm loud. She is loud, everyone.

Speaker 3 And Julia is saying that she feels like everything is good. Like everything is good with her and Gertie because after the goddess party, vibes were good.
They had good talking, etc.

Speaker 3 And she thinks that everything is going to be totally fine today. But we know it won't be.

Speaker 2 No, it will not be. I believe with baby steps, we could get hopefully where we want before.

Speaker 2 So Karamo comes over and he's like, oh, Julia, thanks for coming, baby. Oh, God, thanks so much for coming.
Hold on. Oh, my God.
This necklace.

Speaker 3 Who's this little person?

Speaker 2 God, I love your necklace. I smell money.
I smell money, honey. Oh, my God.
Is he always like this, this guy? He is. This guy is a lot.

Speaker 3 This guy's a lot. He's too much.
He's too much. He's so fake.

Speaker 3 So you smell money.

Speaker 2 You're not getting any of it. So back the fuck up off

Speaker 2 my girl. Okay.
I don't even like this girl. But even I protect her.
I'm like putting my arms out. Like, no, this is not for you.
You marry your own old rich senior citizen.

Speaker 3 I think he did, actually.

Speaker 2 So, for him, yeah, well, yeah, living the dream.

Speaker 3 So, Stephanie's like, listen, I can smell mine from a mile away too. And I like it.
I like the way it smells. It's a great compliment.
I mean, who wants to smell like something else other than money?

Speaker 3 I'm like, yes, who wants to smell

Speaker 3 like

Speaker 3 something that's like sat in someone's like butthole?

Speaker 3 It's full of nasty germs in someone's crotch or pocket.

Speaker 2 There's a reason why people at the 7-Eleven are wearing plastic gloves to touch the cash. Okay.
Because it's nasty. And I like when he's like, oh my God, you can smell money too, right?

Speaker 2 And she goes, yeah, my husband smells delicious.

Speaker 2 She's so gross, this girl, Stephanie. I don't, I don't like this.

Speaker 3 She's definitely a tryhard. I like her a lot, but she is a try-hard.

Speaker 2 You do not like her yet.

Speaker 2 I'm still trying to give my housewives grace period, you know, but for right now.

Speaker 3 So she's totally obnoxious. But I like the way she, she, she stands.

Speaker 3 She holds her own in a way that I really appreciate with this group. So that's, that's really all I want.

Speaker 3 But as you were saying, Kiki arrives and she has brought Carmen Carrera, known as a model and former drag race contestant.

Speaker 3 And is this the first time, I could be wrong, but is this the first time we've seen a friend of introduce a new friend of to the show?

Speaker 2 Oh, that's true. That's a good point.
I don't know. I just saw that she was going to be on because there was a Bravo post.
It was like, welcome to a gorgeous new housewife. Coming.

Speaker 2 Yeah. But I don't really know anything else about her.
So Julia's like, oh, let me give you a prompt new person, Golt.

Speaker 2 I'm sorry. I don't know what to do with that.
Okay. So you did Victoria's Secret a show.
Did this sound natural?

Speaker 2 And she's like, yes, well, I almost did about 10 years ago, but there was a petition for me to walk in the show, but they didn't allow it because there were no transgenders allowed.

Speaker 2 And so that's why we do things like this. That's when I became the first transgender coffee fetcher for the LGBTQ plus task force.

Speaker 3 And that was Carmen, everyone. Everyone, that was Carmen Carrera, her big debut.
That was the last thing that she said on the episode.

Speaker 3 They really, like all week long, Bravo was like, introducing Carmen. Here comes Carmen.
Here comes Carmen. And she's like, yes, I was.
I was. I was almost in a fashion show, but people are bigots.

Speaker 3 So anyway, and then it goes to the next one. She tried it.

Speaker 2 She tries later in the episode, but they cut her off. So, she's going to need to learn to be a little bit louder if she's going to stick with this group.

Speaker 2 So, Alexi is now grilling Lisa about her lunch with Larsa. She's like, But you also had lunch with Larsa.
And she's like, Yeah, we're working on it.

Speaker 2 You know, I don't want to be negative, but like, one thing was kind of funny. So, like, Larsa's like, you're narcissist because, like, I got the most flags or whatever.

Speaker 2 But I go, listen to this, everybody. I go, Yeah, well, you're a narcissist.

Speaker 3 Everyone's like,

Speaker 3 the host from that restaurant comes up to her, is like, Excuse me, ma'am, you're still being a little bit too loud for our customers. You just keep it down.

Speaker 2 That scene was fucking amazing. I was so upset not to be on the last recap.
It was what an episode. What an episode.

Speaker 3 It was pretty amazing. You were missed.

Speaker 2 Mary Saul's like, oh, monkey, you're a wormsmith. Wow.

Speaker 2 I love it.

Speaker 3 Marisol's so dismissive. And Lara says, you you know that, you know, that Lisa's probably like, thanks, thanks.

Speaker 3 So, um,

Speaker 3 Marisol.

Speaker 2 Let me tell you what I don't have. A call insist.
Okay. Little Larsa.

Speaker 2 Colin looks like a five-year-old juke. It's so smart.

Speaker 3 So now

Speaker 3 they go in, they sit at their table. It's the big, you know, like, welcome to the 2024 National LGBTQ Task Force, Gala.

Speaker 3 Each of you has a trivet on the table, and we want everyone to bring their trivet to a different table. You have completed your task for the evening.
Thank you so much.

Speaker 2 So, Alexia gets a ding, and she's like, Oh, look what Dodd sent because I'm wearing the dress. And Mary Sulliv is like, Well, what? How did you know you were wearing that?

Speaker 2 Oh my god, because of last night, because of last night. And she's like, Oh, you saw him last night, you may not wait on.
Oh, come on, come on, how could you? How could you?

Speaker 3 Well, you know, last night I ran into Todd and we just like hung out all night. And, you know, like, I don't know while we're protecting each other.

Speaker 3 It's just like, that's just what happens when we see each other. We want to be with each other.
And, like, I love this man and he loves me. And I'm just going by my heart.
I'm like, oh, God.

Speaker 2 Give me a real drink. That was too sweet.
I can't. Oh, God.

Speaker 3 Does anyone have a Nissan Juktini? God, I need something strong around here.

Speaker 2 And Stephanie says that she doesn't know Todd that well. But from everything I've heard, I think Alexia is very blind to Todd's narcissistic tendencies.
She's not blind to it. She just had a party.

Speaker 2 I don't care what she says. That party was a party about Todd last week.
She even says, she's like, I dated someone like this for a very long time named Todd.

Speaker 2 And, you know, I want to be very subtle about it. I want to be subtle.
But, you know, I was dating this guy and he had like all these qualities of a narcissist.

Speaker 2 So we're going to have this party and we're going to talk about narcissism. And now she's like, what? That party wasn't for Todd.
What are you talking about?

Speaker 3 She literally had a breakdown in a restaurant where she said, Todd is a narcissist. I fucking hate narcissists.
All the narcissists should die.

Speaker 3 And then the next episode, she's like, I've been thinking about narcissism a lot. So I decided to throw an anti-narcissism party.

Speaker 3 And then they get to the party and she goes, well, people think this is about Todd, but it's not about Todd. It's actually about all of them instead.

Speaker 2 I'm like, what?

Speaker 2 You literally,

Speaker 3 you demanded his death.

Speaker 2 This shit is hilarious.

Speaker 3 I was laughing.

Speaker 2 So ridiculous.

Speaker 3 So while they're here, like they're in this gala and like a presentation is happening because we can hear presentation, and Gritty's like, ladies, ladies, ladies.

Speaker 3 I don't want to scream, but I want to be demure, and I just want to make sure you got my text message about the party on Tuesday. It's a celebration of life.
It's white cocktail. I'm like,

Speaker 3 there's a thing happening on stage. It's like, just so you know, I'm going to be publicly shaming Julia, and I want to make sure you're all there.

Speaker 3 Oh, did you freeze?

Speaker 2 You froze, and you froze like this, and you're fake. You're fake.

Speaker 2 You got it.

Speaker 2 yeah i'm having a party to um talk about what an asshole julia is but my face is going to be blown up there's going to be blown up posters of my face it's going to be amazing so i i didn't want to yell right now i just wanted to interrupt somebody talking about the black gay g lbtq community whatever okay are you coming

Speaker 3 And they're like, okay, sure. And I'll come.

Speaker 2 I got lots of wives. So many wedding dresses.

Speaker 3 Well, I went to do some sort of donation of some sort, sorry, like to my group, Support Your Girlfriends.

Speaker 3 They are wanting to present a check to a nonprofit to embed it in that whole breast cancer sphere. So, we're going to do support your girlfriends, but maybe not support the LGBTQ

Speaker 3 platform because I'm going to talk all the way through it.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 3 So, then please welcome to the stage 2024 National Leadership Award recipient, Karamo.

Speaker 3 So, he goes on the stage and he's like, tonight's theme is Karamo gets to be on Bravo.

Speaker 3 And I realized a long time ago that any cult action starts with a cult, Andy Cohen, saying, when are you shooting another housewife show? I will be there. Just tell me when.
And here I am.

Speaker 3 Thank you, everyone, so much for being here.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so then Lisa is talking to Julia. She's like, I'm so proud of you.
Thank you so much for bringing us here. You know, and I'm so proud of you for adopting two boys.

Speaker 2 I'm so proud to be your friend. And it's like, oh, thank you, little gravelly person.

Speaker 2 Tonight, there's no drama, just how it should be. And now, all I want to know is that my boys are growing up with lovely, lovely deas.

Speaker 3 And then Karamo's like, now, everyone, before I leave, turn to neighbor and say, neighbor, never stop fighting.

Speaker 2 Do you ever want to do that when you've got a housewives cast here?

Speaker 2 No one's ever said that in the same room with these people.

Speaker 3 Yeah, didn't Karamo, didn't he moderate the Vanderpump Rules panel at BravoCon?

Speaker 3 No?

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 3 I thought he like he moderated some panel and everyone was like, he clearly has not watched the show.

Speaker 2 Here's what I did at BravoCon. I went to like the first two minutes of panels and then I was like, this is stupid and boring.
And then I would go gamble. That's

Speaker 2 that was my, that was my BravoCon experience.

Speaker 3 I'm just imagining him saying this at the Vanderpump Rules panel being like, okay, I want everyone to look at each other and say, neighbor never stop fighting and so they do this they all they all do it and then of course the screen like kind of like glitches and freezes and it says 72 hours later and then we see gurdy publicly shamming julia i was like oh no

Speaker 2 so uh we go to gurdy's party and um you know of course gurdy's like this party it's about cancer and the cancer struggles but it's huge pictures of gurdy's gurdy's face and then things like gurdy you know like big words and say like gurdy you got this girl i'm that bitch

Speaker 3 yes and it's

Speaker 3 and this is like sponsored by the not the not was so excited the not was like posting content yesterday being like watch the real house as in miami tonight like we're on it i'm like you're at an event where you publicly shaved and you're part of like like you're the star publicly like it was you're part of an event of public shaming but like that's fine i guess any publicity is good publicity we got the box for this would didn't we get the box for this party or well it wasn't this party it was from the not you remember we got a box from gurdy wasn't it for this i think no that gurdy box was something else that gurdy box was oh it was from gurdy box the gurdy box for the knot yes happened but yeah we got that and it had like the sushi kit in it Was that where that sushi kit came from?

Speaker 3 I was wondering where that sushi stuff came from.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it was like a sushi kit making, like a sushi making kit thing in there. It was like, gurdy, the best best sushi you'll ever eat and a candle

Speaker 3 i go to find sushi good to find

Speaker 2 so she comes uh so their texts oh so then we see she's like tonight oh yeah we're seeing a clip of what's happening 72 hours later gurdy's like tonight i feel it's necessary to set the record straight by exposing the lies the lies

Speaker 2 and then we see text projected on the screen and mary soul's like oh this is dirty this is

Speaker 2 dirty

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 3 So we see that it's going to go bad. But now, now we're back in the regular timeline and we're doing setup for this party.
It's Gurdy's celebration of life.

Speaker 3 And people are adjusting pink decorative twil and placing a large sign that says Gertify

Speaker 2 on it.

Speaker 3 And Gurdy's saying, like, she feels like this is her debut. It's her post-cancer debut.
It's going to be a year that she's been cancer-free.

Speaker 3 And it's a party of life because she's alive and she did it, which is great. And by the way, both events this episode are celebrating great things.
But of course, it's Miami.

Speaker 3 So they're also both messy. And so Gertie is just really excited.
Her family's going to be there. I was like, this is when I started to really get like, I felt

Speaker 3 about the nat. I felt one in my stomach, in my chest.

Speaker 3 When she said her family was going to be there, and we already saw a preview of her publicly shaming Julia, I was like, is she going to be doing this in front of her sons? I am already cringing.

Speaker 2 As long as her sons aren't babies, they're fine. Yeah, but still.
Like, Gertie's their mother. I don't think this is the first time.

Speaker 2 And I feel like Gertie's probably practiced this in her living room. Like, okay, boys, come in here.
You be Julia. You be Martina.
And Russell, you can be just Mary Sol. Just talk about colins.

Speaker 2 Okay, here we go. Here we go.
Are you ready?

Speaker 2 So here's my poster boards. Can you read them? Can you read these?

Speaker 3 The boys probably like

Speaker 3 turn the like the screenshots into PDFs to be put into the slideshow.

Speaker 2 That's true.

Speaker 3 They probably like set it all up for her. Like, okay, mom, have fun.

Speaker 2 So Gertie is like, oh, it's going to be one for the books. This part is going to be amazing because what else would it be? I'm Gertie.
This part is going to be gorgeous. Cancer just got it from me.

Speaker 2 I told Cancer, I'm that bitch, Cancer. And it left.
It left my body. It left my body.

Speaker 3 It's my party. I can wear what I want.
I can drink what I want. I can say what I want.
I can do what I want.

Speaker 3 In fact, I once heard a beautiful song that says, I do whatever I want, whenever I want, with no explanation. It's Richard Marks.
Go look it up. I sang the Hannah.

Speaker 2 Speaking of Real Housewives of Orange County, it's interesting that we're getting two episodes in a row this week that take place in a church.

Speaker 2 Like, Bravo is really trying to bring us to Jesus this week because Orange County has a church scene coming up soon.

Speaker 3 And that was South Park last night. I mean, like, you know,

Speaker 3 Christian narratives are everywhere all over pop culture. Did you see that?

Speaker 2 South Park? You watched South Park. Did you hear about that?

Speaker 3 Well, I watched last night's South Park because everyone was talking about it. Really? Well, I'll let you just

Speaker 3 basically, they um

Speaker 3 so so on i think monday

Speaker 3 matt parker and tray stone or tray stone matt parker whatever their names are yeah those guys

Speaker 3 they signed a 1.5 billion dollar deal with oh good paramount

Speaker 3 and then on wednesday show they just savaged paramount and trump and all this stuff and basically they were like it was you know like in the wake of all the stephen colbert stuff which was total bullshit everything stephen Colbert getting canceled.

Speaker 3 They just savaged. So everyone's like, oh my God, I can't believe they got their $1.5 billion from Paramount and then did this episode.
So I was like, okay, I have to watch. And

Speaker 3 it's wild. And you should definitely, definitely watch it.
Well, I will now.

Speaker 3 You will not believe. You will not believe it.
When you see it, you will not believe it. And it's hilarious because people are already mad at it.

Speaker 3 And it's like, all these people who talked about free speech, free speech, free speech or something like, Well, this show should be taken off the air. So, it's great, it's

Speaker 3 a fun time to be in pop culture, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, the girls, you go, girls, yeah, I was wondering about that deal because that's been a long time coming, and there's been a lot of you know, threats of lawsuits and all this stuff.

Speaker 2 It's not been an easy deal, that

Speaker 2 yeah, so I'm glad they finally signed it. Um, get your money, get your bags, yeah.

Speaker 3 Yes, yes, so that's some that's some fun homework for you, Ronnie, to enjoy. You will have

Speaker 3 a fuel day with it, I mean, but like there was a lot of Jesus talk in it, it, too. So it was just a whole lot of Jesus happening on my TV.

Speaker 2 The past.

Speaker 2 Well, those guys are little rabble rousers. They're the best in the game, that's for sure.
So, Gertie is like,

Speaker 2 baby, baby, Russell, come here, kiss me. You look so good, Russell, Russell, and Miles, Miles.
Oh, God, look at you. I know you don't like when I cried.
Everybody, get super tight, super tight.

Speaker 2 Remember, Pearly Whites, we're smiling. We're gonna fuck.

Speaker 3 So, Julia arrives first, and Gurdy's like, oh, hello, hello, hello. And they have like a nice quick hello, and then Gertie sort of like finds a reason to get out of there.

Speaker 2 And Julia's like, oh, well, you know, Gurdy made an effort to come to my event, and I am here to support her with goat. But unfortunately, goat got loose.
But I'm still here, and I'm optimistic.

Speaker 2 At least she's trying to move forward, which is already a huge step. Unfortunately, I also took a huge step and I stepped on an egg.

Speaker 3 Oh, well.

Speaker 2 So, Gertie's, you know, doing her whole preamble. One thing with cancer is it's your attitude.
Your attitude can be cancer to you.

Speaker 2 And if you don't let things get you holding you down, if you let things hold you down, that's called stress. And stress ain't good for nobody.
So done with stress.

Speaker 2 Like every time they come to Gertie this episode, she's like, and let me give you another lesson.

Speaker 2 And it's all leading up to the big reveal. So funny.

Speaker 3 So Julia, so Julia goes up to Russell and she's like, beautiful event. And he's like, yeah, you know, it's Gertie.
This is what she does.

Speaker 2 She's like, yes, how are boys? They're good. Well, you know, we have two boys now.

Speaker 3 He's like, yeah, congratulations and good luck.

Speaker 2 Just like we get an awkward axe.

Speaker 2 It's super awkward, which is saying something because Russell's just awkward all the time anyway. I mean, he's not, he's never like comfortable, but it's awkward even for Russell.

Speaker 2 And so she does that thing where she narrows her eyes and says,

Speaker 2 well,

Speaker 2 I don't know if Gertie shared with you, but we had a moment and that I wish we did not have, but we are on a good path now, I feel.

Speaker 2 And he's like, Hmm, well, I hope that everyone's able to move forward. Excuse me.
I need to go make sure that the 90-foot image of my wife's face

Speaker 2 smiling and saying F cancer is properly taped onto the wall. Okay.

Speaker 3 This was starting to feel like the red wedding.

Speaker 3 Like, I felt like Julia walking in, and Russell being like, Oh, yeah, it's so nice to see you.

Speaker 3 Like, I was just like waiting for the orchestra to like duck out and step out, and all the doors are shut on Julia.

Speaker 3 So, um, Adriana is like, uh, Adriana and Kiki and Larsa arrive, and Gritty says hello.

Speaker 3 And, um, you know, Adriana points out that Julia is talking to Russell, etc.

Speaker 3 And Kiki is now talking to Larsa and she's like, you know, this is like my mom's old church. Larsa's like, really?

Speaker 2 Like what?

Speaker 3 I like, yeah, this is this is a church my mom, my son and I used to go to and there was lots of Baptist church, lots of penis in this room, lots of Baptist penis. And now it's party event space.

Speaker 3 I mean, we have so much memories being like, ah, amen, amen. Strange bald men, penis everywhere.
But, you know, it's great. It's a perfect place for Gertie to have party.

Speaker 2 She was funny. She's like, oh my God, this church was crazy.
You jump, you dance, you do all this stuff, you know, and then we're speaking in tongues. Yeah, it's a perfect place for Gertie's party.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 so she introduces Carmen

Speaker 2 to her, and uh, she's like, Okay, well, now that you're meeting Larsa, you met the rest of the girls, what do you think about everyone? And so, this was Carmen's chant.

Speaker 2 So, she was, well, I've really only known everyone for like five minutes, but and uh, then

Speaker 2 she's cut off.

Speaker 2 Yeah, okay,

Speaker 2 I thought she was about to start some shit, but

Speaker 3 no, she said nothing. So then

Speaker 3 Stephanie joins up and she's like, oh, well, aren't you a statement? And Cory's like, yes, this necklace necklace is a statement after you're kenza for you. Everything's a statement.
My goodness.

Speaker 3 Yes, statement. Like, okay.

Speaker 3 So then Marisol arrives and she's like, oh my God, Guaranty, you look like you belong on the top of a cake.

Speaker 3 It's like, it's like a Nissan Juke sales event and they put a cake in the showroom and you're on top of it.

Speaker 2 So Mary Saul is talking to Julia. She's like, oh, I saw Russell's here.
Did you talk to Russell? She goes, well, I did. It was all the most awkward, you know, but he was uncomfortable.

Speaker 2 And I guess he heard Gurdy's side of the story because he looked like I'm bad guy. But I guess I'm glad we had the conversation with Gurdy.
Things are moving forward, I'm sure.

Speaker 2 I'm sure no projection screen will be used tonight against me.

Speaker 2 I don't know why I'm bad guy, just because I refuse to get seat for Gertie for Captain Sandy and pour water water on her head during the wedding. Like, what is so wrong with that?

Speaker 2 I have two young boys now.

Speaker 2 So, Gertie introduces her friends that she calls the glossy posse because I'm a breast cancer survivor.

Speaker 2 And Julia is still talking to Mary Sol. She's like, Wait, something else.
I went out with Alexia and Todd, and apparently, Todd was saying to me he's trying to win Alexia back.

Speaker 2 And Mary Sol's like, Oh,

Speaker 2 Monios, Madre, porque, no so,

Speaker 2 me, dear,

Speaker 3 Excuse me. Are you talking about the star? Because I thought I heard you guys talking about the star.
So I assume you're talking about me. No? About me?

Speaker 3 Because I was like, I have a feeling these two love talking about the star right now. And Maricella's like, wow, she was telling me you ran into Todd and you guys like he's trying to win you back.

Speaker 3 I mean, what's going on with that?

Speaker 3 And then Stephanie like plops down next to them. So now they're all four on this tiny little sofa thing.
And she's like, hi here. Sorry, I was getting away from some boogers.

Speaker 3 Can't get them near my Birken. That could be a t-shirt, right, guys?

Speaker 2 Let's just think about that.

Speaker 2 Why do you think he wants to win you back? You don't look like you are pulling away from him. And Stephanie's like, oh my God, are we talking about Todd? Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd.

Speaker 2 We had a party for him. Remember? We had that party for him, the Greek party.
And she's like, oh, that wasn't a party for Todd.

Speaker 2 It was for all of you that are a bunch of fucking narcissists, by the way. By the way, it's about all of you.
And Stephanie's like, I guess including you, right?

Speaker 2 And she's like, no, actually, no, no, I'm not. I'm not.
Because I can't be a narcissist because I'm too much of an empath.

Speaker 2 okay and i'm not full of myself like maybe you are okay and then she starts doing that thing where she how can i start be full of herself i start an empath i can't be full of myself i died oh my god like she nods her head like aggressively at you like she's beating you with her head she's just like oh really yeah i can't do that because i'm an empath like you

Speaker 3 I also love how like these women really can push push the limits of passive aggression.

Speaker 3 Like, you, you know, like that, that, that, that fine line between passive aggression and just aggression and and and they just their passive aggression is so on that threshold i mean that whole thing

Speaker 3 like this entire dialogue was so amazing she's like well i'm an empath so i can't i'm not fooling myself maybe like you are i don't know but i'm not i'm empath

Speaker 3 no like i'm not fooling myself no i'm not i'm not unless i the only thing that's full around me is my birken bag full of money see because i'm rich well don't say things about god then and she's like no but the party was based around todd she goes no it was not based around Todd.

Speaker 2 And she goes, but

Speaker 2 the quotes were for Todd. Like, the quotes there were about Todd.
She goes, no, they weren't about Todd.

Speaker 2 Yes, they were. Why are you lying? Why are you trying to gaslight all of us?

Speaker 1 Congratulations, you've reached the end of part one of a two-part recap. For part two, go look for the recap that says part two.

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Speaker 5 Picture this: you're standing on the beach when you notice something strange. The horizon doesn't look right.
At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.

Speaker 5 Then the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all, it's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water, and it's racing straight toward you.

Speaker 5 On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning.

Speaker 5 No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation.

Speaker 5 In this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive.

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