#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean

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Watch what crappens, watch what crappens, who cares what happens when there's so much that crappens a podcast about all that crap on bravo that we just love to talk about i'm ben mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and cheerful ronnie karam hi ronnie who are you hi how are you ben i am just great god it feels like it was just a few hours ago that we were all the way across the country hanging out and now look at us spread now you're in texas i'm in California. How did this even happen? Planes.
Crazy, crazy invention. Planes.
Crazy, crazy inventions. Thank you to everyone who came out this weekend, who came to our shows in Charlotte and Atlanta.
That was so fun. It was so great to go back to both of those cities, two of our favorite cities to go to.
We always have so much fun. We had a great, great, great, great time.
And today we're talking, we're recapping The Real Housewives of Atlanta, which is kind of funny because I watched it in the Atlanta airport this morning. And now I'm here in L.A.
to talk about Real Housewives of Atlanta, where I just was. And it feels like I should have stayed there to recap this.
Feels wrong. But either way, before we dive into that.
We were also at the Ponce Market. That's where we stayed.
We stayed right there, and they were showing close-ups. And I was like, oh, my God, hi.
We were just right there. Our first Atlanta show was in the Ponce Market at the City Winery.
So every time they showed that sign, I'm always like, oh, our first one. And one of our listeners reminded us.
She was like, I was there at the first show when you guys did a double, like a two in one night. I'm like, oh, my God.
We were both like, can you believe we did two shows in one night? Yeah, we used to do that. We used to do two live shows in one night.
That was stupid. That's wild.
Yeah, it was stupid. So anyway, our tour is going to keep on going.
We are going to the Lincoln Theater in DC this weekend. And then we're going to the Fillmore in Philadelphia the next day.
That's going to be on Saturday and Sunday. We have kind of a funky schedule, and it's weird.

We're going to do Southern Charms Reunion Part 1 in D.C.

because we felt like D.C. is kind of borderline the South.

So we felt like that should be in D.C.

And then for Sunday, we're going to do the latest recap for Summer House. So that's going to be several days after it airs.
And so just, you know, for those who will not be at the show or just going to be other parts of the country, thanks in advance for your patience. We just really wanted to do Summer House in front of a live audience.
And it's really fun for us. So that is what the breakout is going to be.
What? Guess what we're gonna do to make up for it. We're not gonna make you sit around having no crappence to listen to during the week.
We're not fucking monsters. So we are going to start by popular demand.
And we know it's late. We know it's late.
But we are going to start doing White Lotus recaps for the final two episodes. We're actually going to do a catch-up episode today because it was the big one of the big episodes that everybody's been waiting for a sword fight that's all i'll say a skin sword fight we've been waiting for it all year and it finally happened so we're going to be talking about that as an extra bonus this week we've already released an airport snaps week, but we'll be doing an extra bonus to entice

you guys to sign up because we just love sign-ups.

But also, the final two episodes

will be recapped fully

on Patreon, so go over there for that.

And then also, to make

up for those shows being late this week,

we will start recapping

Top Chef.

Top Chef is back, baby. We're

doing it. We're going back into the world of Top

Chef, and our first Top Chef is actually

just going to be kind of like a talking about the cast what's happened on the season so far. So that'll be happening later this week.
So we have a lot of fun stuff happening this week. If you want to come see us in DC or in Philadelphia, or if you want to see us in one of our future dates, maybe in Detroit or Boston or Chicago or Austin or Dallas or Las Vegas, go to watchwhatcrappens.com.
The schedule's there and ticketing links are there. And we would love to see you there.
So come join. Yeah, we've been having a great time.
It's been so great meeting so many people. And you guys are so sweet and so funny.
Just loving. We're having a great time.
You guys are showing us a great time. I don't know how we're doing with you, but you guys are showing us a really great time.
And I really had a career highlight,

which is that someone brought me a Kia user manual to sign over the weekend. And that was a special moment.
And someone brought us key chains for our ante van for Watch What Crap Antivan Girl Scout cookies.

You guys all treated us well.

It's been glorious.

It's like gifts from people who really know us, you know, the true us. I know, but it was like signing a Kia manual.
That was fun. That was pretty incredible.
That felt like I had leveled up at that point. It also made me super proud because they brought a physical copy of Lonesome Dove,

just the one book, not the four in the, not trilogy.

What do you call that?

A quattrogy?

I don't know.

But I was like, damn, I'm proud of myself that I read so many of these pages, you know?

Because I only see it on a Kindle.

This really speaks to how little I am reading these days.

Like, Ronnie, you just read a piece of literature that's the size of a yoga block. Ben, here's a user manual for a Kia.
Because you talk about your Kia a lot. Yeah.
All right, let's get going with Real Housewives of Atlanta. Season 16, episode three, called High Notes and Cheap Shots.

Yes, I cracked up.

I was laughing in the airport.

This episode was so funny to me.

I'm loving this season so far.

I'm so excited.

And today, the taglines are here.

They have arrived.

We have our new opening.

The music, it's the same music, but they've kind of remixed it and kind of like spiffed it up a little bit.

And the background now is kind of like, ooh, the streets of downtown Atlanta, but it's like very colorful and vibrant and saturated. I love it.
I'm just like loving this season so far. I feel like I've not loved Atlanta.
Like, I feel like this season has been the strongest kickoff in so many years for me for Atlanta. Well, there are a lot of small gifts for people who are paying attention in this show and one of them is that whenever the waffle queen comes on the screen she has her own theme music they play the succession theme music every time she comes not notice it's so funny it is so funny it's a version of succession they wrote for karen you know when karen had her oh he's gonna get surrey farm so they play every time this chick comes on screen.
And I laugh out loud every single time. I think it's so funny.
Like my waffle dynasty, which kid is going to get the one is going to get Nana's waffles. Well, I don't know if we discussed this and the season premiere.
They also use my favorite bit of real housewives of Salt Lake City music that I feel like they've they've taken it away from Salt Lake City. It appears in all these other shows as never on Salt Lake City.
Do you know what I'm talking about? It is, of course, the jam. Yeah, they played it at Shamia's party.
And I was like, there it is! So anyway, the taglines are here. Do you want to kick it off with Portia? Sure.
I snatched my peach back, but now I'm bringing the juice. That's pretty good.
I like that. I don't know, man.
You've still got Hot Dog Man in your storyline. There's some things I just don't like squeezing juice out of.
It's both Hot Dog Man

and Simon. Keep your juices to

yourself, Portia. Your juices have

been tainted by some pretty gross men

lately, okay? Clean your juice before

you spray it all over my television screen.

Well, then

we have

Juice Adora, whose tagline

is very reminiscent of Countess

Luanne's one season. Hers is, I'll always be upper level.
Everyone else is in the basement, which is a reference to Ralph being cordoned off into the basement. But Luann had one that was, I rise above the drama and won't settle for the lower level, which you may remember is a reference to when Luann was put in the basement at Ramona's house.

She's like, there was a spider

above the sink. I'm in the

basement. Could you believe it, girls?

And then it continued into, and now

I'm in the fish room. Wasn't it bad enough?

I got the basement.

So now

we go over to Shamia, and Shamia's like,

plus one. Honey, I've

always been that one.

It's a little generic.

You know, also because Apple One raised their prices because, you know, they trick you and they're like, Apple One is five dollars and you get Apple Music, Apple TV and storage and now they're like, five million dollars. So every time I hear one, I just get mad.
But I like Shamia for the most part. I like Shamia.
I have some thoughts on

Shamia, but I like Shamia.

She's trying not

to be the wind beneath your wings. I think

it's very difficult when you're the Barbara Hershey

in a relationship. You've got Bette Midler

saying, you're the wind beneath my wings, and Barbara

Hershey's like, awesome! I got to do nothing

and get cancer when I young.

I didn't even get any attention for this movie,

and I never worked again very much. But here's bett midler singing the song at every funeral excuse you barbara hershey didn't work very much she was in the seminal ballerina film black swan where she was drew so evil and so scary and i remember seeing her at i got to go to a party once and she was there and And I, I remember I walked up to her and I was like, you were amazing in my time.

And she looked at me like, oh God, it's another gay.

But I mean, does she have the same, like she didn't have the same control over people.

Like Bette Midler could be like, gays, go out and clean up the freeways.

And we're like, oh my God, I love cleaning up trash on the freeway.

You know, Barbara Hershey really just never had that pull.

And it's because she was the wind beneath the wing. And so I think Shamia- Yeah, she was the updraft.
Yeah. So I think that Shamia is, you know, she's trying to, like, put on the Bette Midler wig.
And she's trying to take over that role. And it's just going to take, you know, baby steps.
It's going to be hard. Because, I mean, Shamia came in as Portia's friend friend, like sidekick.
And then she kind of became Candy's sidekick. And then, was that my computer that just made that noise? Did I just ding? Some just beeped at my ass a ding.
I think it was me. This is supposed to be Do Not Disturb.
I guarantee that was my parents. Anytime it gets through, my parents have an ability to get right through Do Not Disturb.
It does not matter what have on my parents will be like they'll find a way we have a question about the apple tv and like apple's like oh there's an apple tv question we're passing this through anyone's do not disturb yeah but shamia um she became now don't they have that thing which is like ben asked not to be disturbed but do you want to disturb him anyway don't they have that thing now now you can say like i think disturb. I think so.
You know what? It wasn't even my parents. Did you hear that one, too? Was there a second ding? There was a second one just now.
And that was... Okay, you didn't hear that.
Okay, thank God. My earphones...
I'm losing my mind. Okay, this is what happens when you fly across the country before your podcast.
I cannot... This is what happens when you talk about Barbara Hershey and the black swan is that you start to become the black swan like do you hear that text message do you hear that go wait oh my god that's one i really took from that movie i was like oh my god her eating disorder is so successful and she looks so good in eyeliner well um all i was just gonna say was that shamia and candy i mean candy has that know, I rise above.
So that's literally like wind beneath. She's basically like Shamia.
Like you're the wind beneath my wings because I'm rising above and I can't do that without wind. And that's you.
So Shamia is already in the Barbara Hershey role just by what Candy already sang. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
She's in the, she's in the Barbara Hershey role and she's trying to be a vet, but it's going to take some time. We're going to need to give her some time to kind of warm up um i do miss candy's candy was like i like you know i don't know what hers was but like sometimes i sing and sometimes i fly but uh shamia is keeping the spirit of candy alive because shemia sort of has candy's hair like her candy's like original hair that she came on with you know when candy had like that sort of short hair similar but she doesn't be the blonde yeah it's not as spiky as candy's original one but sort of like round it's very round on the top so she is she has kind of like the candy burrs vibe um you know going on with her so uh she's kind of like the jocelyn not jocelyn wiltonstein that's the lady whose face is r.i.p she just who did halle berry play in that movie that old-time movie star um oh jocelyn wilton scene yeah halle berry is jocelyn jocelyn wilton just died like a month ago and her her obit, I'm going to tell everyone after you're done listening, go look at that obit.
It is wild. Dorothy Dandridge.
Oh, yeah, I saw that movie. Didn't Shonda Rhimes write that or direct it? I don't know.
It's something for everyone to think about. Okay, here is Kelly.
Okay, Jocelyn Wildenstein. Hold on, I want to read Jocelyn.
Jocelyn Wilden. By the way, if anyone is coming here for a recap that makes any kind of sense, you're in the wrong place.
We're not there today. So just come back next week.
I kind of feel like our post-airplane recaps, the new late-night recaps for us. We're just going to be insane, and we're never going're never gonna stop well while you look that up i

was gonna make a comment about barbara hershey i feel like there is this like um class of of

actresses from the 80s late 70s and 80s who are like respected and appreciated but sort of forgotten about it's like kate jackson barbara hershey um sissy spacek Amy Madigan you know it's like they worked Holly Hunter was sort of in that group but I think she she rose above I think she transcended that group we all know them and I think us gays whenays, when you mentioned them, the gays are like, oh, my God, I love Amy Madigan. But the truth is they never quite got the gravitas of like a Bette Midler, you know? Yeah.
I feel like Barbara was in that group. They're all just wind.
But, you know, we all need wind. Now, I will say this about the Jocelyn Wildenstein obit.
They're doing that thing where they make you pay to read it. I'm sorry.
Something should just be free. Like, if there there's a natural disaster coming i shouldn't have to subscribe to your fucking newspaper to read it you know what i mean like you should tell me like your house is on fire like but pay for a subscription to find out you know where it started no tell me and if jocelyn jocelyn wildenstein dying is important news i'm not paying you for it sorry it is very important speaking of we'll be featuring that on our paid only patreon this week okay so who's next okay I'm next for Kelly.
Sorry. It is very important news.
Speaking of, we'll be featuring that on our paid-only Patreon this week. Okay.
So, who's next? Okay. I'm next for Kelly.
Hers is I'm a mom of four girls. Give me attitude and I'll ground you too.
Wow. Well, first of all, I'm disappointed in this one because I feel like there should have been a waffle pun.
Like, I don't know. Yeah, it should have been like, I have strong opinions and I never waffle.
Exactly. But she probably didn't want to say never waffle because it was against the brand.
You're right, yeah. Maybe something like, don't waffle with me, otherwise I'll hit you with an iron.
Maybe too violent. Waffle with me and I'll cook you.
Yeah, yeah. But I feel like the I'll ground you too, it's like, it makes it sound like, she's like, I have four girls and they're permanently grounded.
So now you will be grounded too. My daughters don't get to do anything.
They're grounded. So yeah, I don't like that one either.
And then we have Angela who's like if you want to find the shade just look for the oak. I feel like it's forced forced I appreciated like I think coming on the heels of Kelly's non waffle pun tagline I was so thirsty for an appropriate pun that I was like I accepted this oak pun but in a vacuum maybe not the best I think we could do better but I really like.
I'm expecting Angela to be the new star of this show. She hasn't really become the new star of this show, but I'm expecting her to.
And I can see her really doing all the necessary things, having the necessary conversation. Like when she tried to talk shit with her daughter about the other ladies, and she's like, why are you talking shit while dad's making, you know, 97 pounds of fucking broccolini or whatever he or brussels sprouts whatever he was doing she's getting there but she's just not there yet so i expected something a little bit better but she deserved a better tagline but i love her so far i think she is so funny and she's shady and i like that she's like older than the rest because i'm always going to gravitate towards the oldest one in the cast.
So I think I've chosen her as my favorite so far.

Although I really like Kelly, too.

Okay, so now we'll go to Britt.

Britt, excuse me, let me put on my apparatus.

I'm pretty and paid, and of course, there's haters trying to shade.

I'm pretty and paid.

Girl, that's not a way to outrun the hooker allegations i know that's not pretty impaid what nobody owns me but you can rent me like what kind of line is that don't don't do that it's also very like nursery rhymey i'm pretty impaid of course there's haters trying to shade i don't know the rhyming i don't know if I love rhyming in my housewives taglines. I feel like if they're all

doing it, you can do it. But you can't just be

the only rhymy one.

Why did she not

incorporate insurance into it?

She should have been like, like a good neighbor,

I'll fuck your man or something like that.

You know?

I may not be very progressive, but my

insurance is...

I'm progressive and I've got good hands. Yeah.
Okay, so those are the taglines. It's time for a commercial.
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Hyundai vehicles have won over 120 IIHS Top Safety Awards from 2006 to 2024 as of December 2024. We start over at Britt's house,

and Britt's painful.

Just honestly,

I don't even think she's done anything all that wrong yet.

It's just that nose.

I just feel so bad.

I feel like someone conked her on the nose,

and it just permanently flattened it like in a cartoon.

And it's not the look of it.

It's just the sound.

It hurts my ear. She's with Mike, the most unre uninterested husband of the season.
Every time they show Mike, even if he's not chewing on something, he's doing that thing where he's like, like, he does not want to be there. He's got an imagined toothpick in his mouth every single time he talks.
if you're a disinter... Like, if you're the most disinterested husband on this season, and this is the same season

that has Charles Oakley and one guy like stuck in a basement that's saying something okay like that shows you're really disinterested yeah but um she so they're gonna have mike's family over and so this what's i also think that brit and mike are revealing themselves to be in like the Drew, Sedora sort of space of wealth, which is to say not that wealthy, but trying to act like they're wealthy because they have this like private chef there, but I feel like they've never had a private chef before because they invite over his family and Brit's assistant is there, this cute guy, and he's wearing like a full on tuxuxedo. And he's like, he's handing people like paper plates of scallops.
And I'm like, have you ever cooked for people before? Like, have you ever had people over? No, they're trying to make it like she has her parties all catered. Like, girl, you just had a scene last week where you were talking about your husband not buying you like real marble on your finishes.
You know what I mean? And this week she's like, look at us, we have catering every week. And you know

she doesn't because the chef is wearing a

t-shirt with his brand as big

as possible on the t-shirt. So you know

she's getting this for free. And

that's fine, but I don't need a pretend

rich person. You know? Exactly.

I prefer someone who's like, I'm middle class,

but I'm gonna be richer than all these ladies.

Yeah, there was something

about like, it's like, oh, we're just

gonna have some lobster tail

and my assistant is in a tuxedo

I'm going to be richer than all these ladies. Yeah, there was something about like, it's like, oh, we're just going to have some lobster tail and my assistant is in a tuxedo right now.
I was like, but you're still in your like kind of suburban kitchen and it's like all casual. I just felt like they'd never done this before.
And they were like, maybe if we want to be like fancy folks, we'll put someone in a tux and oh, lobster, definitely lobster. What is this little meal they have meal they have? Because even the kid, one of the kids is like, lobster, don't you think that's a little too fancy? Even the kid knew.
Like, shut up, kid. We do this every day.
He's like on Yelp. He's on kid Yelp.
Be like, hey, stars. And I always think of restaurants because I had a chef when I was working in restaurants one time be like, the funniest thing about lobster, they're the trash of the sea.
Everybody knows it. They're not the trash of the sea.
That is a lie. They crawl along the sea and eat all the garbage.
You know, rich people are like, oh my God, lobsters are amazing. Lobsters are beautiful.
Congratulations. So does every other animal.
Every other animal literally eats garbage. If they get given a chance.
Like I don't love poop eaters. There's one right behind me.
Look at him. Yeah, exactly.
Back there, Bueller. We're all acting like all our pets aren't sniffing each other's asses and stuff.
They're all down there. The only ones who aren't crawling along the bottom are those truly are just like fish.
You know, like a tuna's going to stay right mid-sea level to ocean. Look at this guy.
He looks like he had a big plate of poop. He had a lot of poop today.
He's like, ah, poop coma. Starring Barbara Hershey.
For those who are listening at home, Ronnie has moved out of the way and we can see that Bueller is passed out on the sofa from eating too much poop today. He doesn't eat it now, but he did

when he was a puppy. Puppies are the worst poop

eaters of all time.

Well,

anyway, the point is this.

I was, don't eat poop

and

this meal just cracked me up

because it just was so put on, right?

So she gives us some backstory

and she's like, I've

dated all these guys and they're just like super

I'm like, And I met Mike. He was just very reserved.
And I decided, okay, I can stop having fun for the rest of my life.

So I decided to get with him.

Yeah.

I really am attracted to a guy who doesn't need to look cool.

And he just, like, he doesn't even spend money on real toothpicks.

He just has pretend ones in his mouth while you talk to him.

And he's like, yeah, that's me.

So the big conversation here is we're going to get a real ceremony soon because they had the Vegas wedding or the City Hall wedding. And listen, this man is not going to spring for your real marble countertop.
He is not going to spring for a wedding. This man is cheap.
Okay. We know this man is cheap.
And sometimes that's a great thing because I'll save your money. You know, and I feel like a lot of times on this show, nobody's saving their money, but this man is going to save that money, but she is going to get that ceremony because now a couple of cast members are doing this.
Now she's on reality TV and that's a storyline. You know, she wants her, she's already going to go for a wedding spinoff.
And then Angela Oakley later is like, Oh, shouldn't we renew our vows, honey? And he's like, Oh, for fuck's sake. No, I was so sad when she said that i was like but i like you two together i don't want you guys to get divorced um so uh the other thing about brit that we learned is that she used to date rick ross which you know that's exciting for her and then um now all the lobster comes out and there was a lot of bragging i didn't really understand well rick ross was like i mean he still, I guess that's when.
I guess it's when you dated Rick Ross, right? When. Imagine if it was just some guy named Rick Ross.
It wasn't Rick Ross. It was Rick who owns Ross Dress for Less.
Yeah. Now I would date that motherfucker.
Yes. Yeah.
That's a man right there. So, yeah, she dated him.
And then now they're just sort of making small talk at the table because basically um brit is she's kind of just like gearing up so she can have a scene with her sister-in-law so she's like talking about how she met kenya and how kenya was kind of shady but like um but like as long as kenya keeps it cute everything will be cool you know so, out of nowhere, in the middle of their nice lobster dinner, is like, hey, she says this to her sister-in-law, Natasha. Hey, do you want to go downstairs so we can talk? So in the middle of dinner, they just go down to the basement.
Because she has a champagne room. Or what she kind of refers to, like she kind of insinuates as her champagne room.
So they go downstairs and yeah, there's this whole other room because she's trying to do a shimmy now. Like I have a separate room where we can talk.
I'm rich too. By the way, I have to just say Rick Ross is still pretty hot.
I mean, he's still hot-ish. Rick Ross is hot.
I mean, not hot, but he's, I figured time probably did a number on him, but he still looks the same to me. He has nice furs and gold chains.
I'm looking at him right now. Yeah, he, you know.
There was one time when I was an Uber driver when I had to pick up someone and I had to like drive them like Rick Ross was like in a, he was like in a like in a, not a van, but he was like in a Sprinter van or something or like an SUV, and I had to bring a musician to his van. God, the confessions.
Confessions of a trafficker. No, it was just an aspiring musician who was going to have a meeting with Rick Ross.
That you picked up from Nickelodeon and took over? What the hell? Van delivery? No, but there were all sorts of... God, I loved being an uber driver there's just so many random things i think being an uber driver in la is fun because you get to every now and then you get to like take someone to like a famous person's house like or like a randomly famous person's house like i once brought someone to um simon cowell's ex-wife's house what's her name terry or's like a correspondent on Extra.
And I was like, ooh, I now know where that lady lives. The power.
The power of knowing where that extra correspondent lives in 2014. Very exciting.
Another infinity stone on the meaningless wrist of life. Someone up from Avicii's house RIP.
And it was like a Swedish guy. And he was just like talking.
He's like, yeah, I'm staying with my friend. He's a DJ.
He's pretty famous. I was like, oh, really? He's like, yeah, his name's Avicii.
Do you know him? I was like, of course I know who Avicii is. And now I can say I picked someone up from Avicii's house.
And I will use this sometime in about 11 years on a podcast. Yeah.
Or as I used to call him, FSI. Okay, so here we are.
Britt is talking about wanting a ceremony and the sister-in-law's like, he better give you one. He's sure cheap.
And then Mike's like, can we eat scallops? I'm paying. I'm not paying for those scallops.
I don't want to fucking eat them. Get up there.
We need to eat strawberry shortcake. And then we find out a little little bit about brett and she says my dad was a huge business professional in the orange industry no did she say that did she say the orange industry i just heard i was watching this in an airport so maybe i heard i just heard her say that he was a huge professional but i didn didn't hear the orange industry.
That's what's in our notes.

I don't know.

I mean, people do eat oranges a lot still.

There is an orange industry.

Okay.

It's called Tropicana, not Tropicanta.

Okay.

It's a thing.

Yeah.

And so he worked really hard and he left behind when he passed away.

He left the mom a $2 million life insurance policy, but she didn't get it because he was in between jobs. So I guess it didn't transfer from.
That's crazy. That's crazy, right? I mean, I get that health insurance is like that, but is life insurance like that too? That makes no sense.
By the way, that's such bullshit that health insurance is tied to your job and you're stuck to your job forever because you can't get health insurance because health insurance is $9 million now and covers fucking nothing. Fuck insurance how are we not riding in the street other than the fact that i'm exhausted okay well yeah i mean there was they got a little violent there in in december so then um then we had only one person well that's pretty violent someone got murdered but like because people are angry people are angry about it i'd buy his dr bill yeah i'd buy it he'll be on dancing with stars someday um so anyway the point is that what a wonderful pasta doble god you really really earned this 10.
so uh the point is that they were owed $2 million and I don't know what happened,

why they didn't get it.

That's absolutely crazy.

And of course an insurance company is going to like screw them out of it.

And so then she decided to start her insurance agency because she didn't want this to happen

again.

So she started to go fund me when her dad passed away.

She didn't want anyone to go through what she went through. And she's, by the way, she's telling this to her sister-in-law as if the sister-in-law has not heard the story about 10 different times.
And Natasha is like, okay, great. Yeah.
Okay. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh. Great.
Love to hear this story again. She's like, I come from a hard background too.
My brother won't pay for marble countertops. How do you think, how easy do you think that is to live down? She's like, um, I have a lobster tail upstairs.
How much longer is this going to be? Because last time I checked, I put some foil over it. It's just not going to be the same.
So Britt tells us this kind of weird story about a business. So the dad passed.
Then she started a GoFundMe. And she doesn't want to ever have to go through that again.
So she decided to start her own family business. So she starts a family business with her two sisters.
But then they got all pissed off when she decided to sell the family business. So was it a family business that you sold out from under them? Or was this a business of yours that you hired them to work at? And then it was your right to sell it because the way she told it, I was like, why'd be pissed at you too? You can't just sell their business.
Yeah. Something there's more of this story.
And I love, I love, i love a stupid family controversy like this you sold the family insurance company so i i definitely think there's more than meets the eye this is like a danielle cabral level thing you know where danielle cabral's like i don't know what happened you know i just was i made a joke and now my brother won't talk to me anymore. I'm like, we know it was more than a joke.

You made a couple of innocent TikToks and finally you got a

brother who wants to start

some shit with you.

Yeah, I feel like there's a larger story to be

told and I'm excited when it finally

bleeds into the tabloids.

So Natasha's like,

you know, you push families so hard.

You know, we shouldn't even be having this conversation. We got to fix that.
Also, again, lobster tail upstairs and some nice sides. I'd like to get back to that, please.
Yeah. So the husband, Michael, is like, get up here and eat the strawberry shortcake.
And he goes, it's even got a little lemon twist. And she goes, not a lemon twist.
So I was like, yeah, just please at least pretend you've had catering before come on man but by the way there actually is more some more context to the story because brit actually says more she says that um she brought her sisters into the business and she said that her older sister felt like she was too tough as a boss so she left and then her middle sister um she got very complacent. So Britt had to fire her sister.
There's stories here. I can't wait to hear.
Yeah, I want to see these stories, too. Okay, so then we go to lunch with Portia and Kelly at a place called Lock and Key, which is interesting because I think Portia's been locked out of her house now like five times.
So I would think this would be a triggering restaurant to take her to but here we are there's a joke in here about ralph in the basement i just haven't quite articulated it yet so um porsche is like saying that she's been refraining from drinking she's like but i need whatever is strong enough to deal with whatever kelly's bringing so i need i need hanisha to come down and help me with this.

Yeah.

She actually says,

I've been reframing from drinking,

which it's good to see that Porsche is still Porsche at the end of it.

I'm reframing from drinking.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I got that too.

So Kelly shows up and she's like,

well,

and it's like the succession music.

That's how,

you know,

Kelly's coming.

It's like the pianos for a succession.

So,

so she's like,

well,

I'm not drinking today because this is a scene where they're supposed to hate each other. And so she's like, you know, I don't know this girl at all, but I'm optimistic about seeing a different side to her.
You know, I'm not going to be mean to the only person who actually makes fresh carbs. Kelly's like, yeah, the vibes are definitely off.
However, I do have an upcoming event at Balmain, which she says Balmain about 45 times this episode. Like, sorry, got an event coming up later today at Balmain.
I feel bad that even Balmain, how do you say it? I mean, I don't know, I'm too poor. I think it is Balmain, but she says Balmain bomb on so many times i feel bad that bomb on has to like do this kind of an event because there it seems sad you know like bomb on doesn't seem like it should have to do this where they're like we're gonna give 10 of 10 of your bomb on to poor people how about 90 okay are you that desperate for sales that you're gonna like turn this into a fake charity thing poor bomb They really fall.
It's just funny because it feels like fashion, fashion houses. Yeah.
They shouldn't even care about the rest of us. They should hate us.
And so it's like weird that they're like, yeah, we're going to do something that's charitable. We're like, what? Yeah.
They're like, we're going to give 10% of this to starving people. Just kidding.
We love starving people. Well, you never know what's going to happen at Balmont.
So, so kelly wants borsche to come to her bonbon event and so she's gonna play nice so kelly we see a flashback that kelly invited her she's like i would love you and your beautiful daughter to come visit this mommy and me event at bonbon and by the way you can tell bonbon corporate was like a mommy a mommy and me event at one of our stores? Someone got fired over this. Someone was fired.
Someone was fired. Yeah, someone heard like a mommy, you're inviting children to a Balmain on purpose.
Get out. I have to say, like, no joke, when she said that there was gonna be a mommy and me event at a Balmain, I thought i misheard this maybe this is like a like a place with like a ball pit or something like ball like ball something like i i was like our pizza place i was like this uh surely not a mommy and me event at a ball mont i didn't know that that was allowed and isn't that like the first rule of fashion no mommy and me events i don't know am i crazy I just can't imagine Kelly Catrone signing off on such a thing.
No, she'd be like, cry outside. Okay, so they decide, Portia decides she'll make up with her.
So she's like, I mean, I don't understand that energy you're putting off today. I mean, I don't know what to expect.
And she's like, what energy? She goes, I mean, I don't know. You just have so many different personalities, you know? I don't know none of them yet.
And she goes, oh, really? I have different personalities. Like, she's trying to do this, like, bad bitch attitude.
And Portia's just laughing at her the whole time, which is cracking me up. Portia's like, girl, I'm not giving you this.
You are new. You don't get to have, like, some epic war with me the whole season.
No, go fuck with Kenya. Yeah, that's exactly right.

And you know, Kelly, you really missed a chance here.

Because when she said you have different personalities, Kelly, that was your cue to say,

are you saying that I'm waffling between people and personalities?

But she missed it.

So Portia's like, you know what?

Kelly's a beautiful woman.

And like, she has a lot of personality.

And they all start with L.

Loud, loud, louder louder loud ass loud and she's like well i have different personalities and she has different men so what difference does a male don't shame her she's making a living for christ's sake she's had a lot of big houses in the past two years okay she has but i did laugh when kelly said that so kelly is like you know we honestly have so many things in common that we don't know i mean i feel like you know like we have kids we're mothers we have kids she really likes to say that a lot she's like we have so much in common children. So that kind of means, yeah, we're like, you're like a ball to my mom.
So Kelly's like, okay, look, I just, I had dinner with Britt and Shamia, and I was just trying to figure out what was going on with you. That's all.
She goes, uh-uh, that is not what was brought to me. Everything that was saying that y'all said, I was like, that's a lot of stuff, you know? And, you know, to prepare

to be this judge, you know, from

people who don't even know me, who don't even own

TVs. And Kelly's like, well,

it wasn't. It was just very

innocent. And I just said, you know, very

innocently, why did she take that

woman's husband? I mean,

it was just like saying,

could I have a refill? It was just, it was

so benign. And, you know, then she was like, well, and so Shamia said, that's a question for you to ask her when you see her.
So Portia, Portia's like, wait a second. My best friend told you to approach me at her birthday party.
I'm like, I don't think that's what that meant. I think it just meant like, don't put, if you have an issue with her, you ask Portia.
Don't put me in the middle of it. But Portia takes it as, wait a second, Shamia told you to set me up at a birthday party on our first day of shooting a group event? Well, it's very Portia because she's like, listen, you're not important enough to fight over something stupid, but I will make something up with, you know, I will make a reason up to fight with Shamia because now they're making her the star of my show and she's supposed to just be my friend, know so she's like I'm gonna start shit with Shamia why no reason really don't happen but I'm gonna make we have a reboot we need to do something you know I actually have to say you know what you know normally I would say you know you should always believe your bestie from high school over the newbie who's coming in but I think this maybe indicates that Portia's saying hey we gotta like kick things up here in Atlanta on this show a little bit.
So sure, if it means that I have to go fight Shamia, I will do it. I will do it for the show.
And I appreciate that can-do attitude. Well, and Shamia gave her a little attitude when she showed up late and like got into her scene about the car, like gifting the car.
And then Shamia was giving her attitude in the closet behind closed doors where she was like, not cool, Porsche or whatever. So Porsche was like,'s like, oh, really? This girl thinks she's gonna come on and take over my show? Well, I'm gonna start a fight with her now over telling me, because in a normal episode, if Shamia didn't tell Portia that and this girl came for Portia, Portia would be like, you knew she was gonna do that and you didn't tell me, or you didn't tell me that she was, you know.
So Portia's just grasping, but I like it. Yeah, I support it.
I think it's great. And Portia's like, you know, Shamia knows that I'm going through a divorce right now and I just don't see why she would do that.
I mean, why would my friend set me up to be ambushed by Toto? So Kelly's like, well, we can tell her we cleared the air. She goes, whatever, you're a troll.
And she's like, excuse me. And she's like, yeah, you know, I was just coming to have a good time.
And she goes, oh, no, you like the ping pong with me a little bit. You like it.
She goes, okay, at least you give energy. I like you.
So they decide to be friends. But she said, like, you're a troll, but you're, like, what did she say, like a glamour troll or something? A golden troll or something? She, like made like a nice troll name for her

yeah and then kelly tried to keep up she's like well can i at least be the pink troll so um yeah she called her a treasure troll oh treasure troll that's what it was yeah yeah so then we go to drew in her studio which cracks me up every single time she's like guys hi hi studio me, Drew. God, you might've seen me on a lot of posters on Tubi.
And I've been in Puerto Rico, okay? I've been in Puerto Rico. And I just did a whole movie of me screaming.
We shot for a grueling three days. It was rough.
Yeah, it was called The Pass Out. And it was just a lot of work.
Oh, God. To be a working actress is a blessing.
And now I'm here with you guys. God, I just thank you so much for being patient with me right now.
So she goes into the booth, and she's like, I'm not too good at keeping secrets. Everybody knows I'm not too good at hiding weakness.
You got me. It shows.
Sausage comes in a casement, but you can't see it because you live in a basement also they show her um we see her singing to track because you know she probably hasn't learned this song and can't find a key so they show they they play they play the track of her singing and the difference between the on key auto-tune track and whatever is coming out of her mouth is, it's glaring. It's a glaring difference.
But she doesn't notice, so she's really happy. And she's, of course, invited all the girls to come over and watch her sing and act like she's, you know, doing her first country album or whatever.
She's like, girls, girls, please, please stop the cameras. Stop the recording.
My lovely girlfriends are here. Girlfriends, please.
Girls, gather around. Hold on.
Please, if Barbara Streisand calls, tell her I'll reach her later. Okay.
Hello, Angela, Cynthia, and Kenya. Please sit down.
Welcome to my studio. Sorry if I sound a little hoarse, as I mentioned before.
Shooting so many movies right now. Oh, anyway, to be a singer.
And Cynthia's like, well, that was a love song song and i know a love song when i hear this i'm like yeah what part of the slow sounding music and her singing lyrics like can you fall in love for a minute indicates that it wouldn't be a love song i know i love that cynthia's like got her finger on the pulse love for a minute that's a love song that's a love song she's got it she's got like that she's got like the detective it. She's got the magnifying glass from Carmen Sandiego.
She's like, I spy a love song. And she's like, well, it's a love song.
But for me, it really speaks to me like a falling out of love song. Hence the basement references.
And Cynthia's like, well, that must be healing. Because, you know,'s about your life, falling out of love with Ralph.
And she's like, yeah, it was really rough. You know, we have a whole song about having a dinner thrown on top of a dry cleaner.
So it comes from the heart. This whole album.
Yeah. And, you know, I know when everything happened, Kenya was reaching out.
And I just, I feel the love and support, you know, but I kind of go into a shell. It's just what artists do.
And Cynthia's like, same, same. You know, I just threw myself into my career, all the nothing I've been doing since you've seen me last.
I've been professionally doing nothing. And I've just really thrown myself into that nothing since then.
I did a TikTok dance and I did ride the escalator at the Beverly Center. But other than that, it's been great.
I have cleaned my countertops. So that's been fun.
Spent a lot of time in my kitchen on my career. My countertop career.
Have you ever heard of fantastic? It really is fantastic. I just want to leave you with that nugget.
It's a great, great thing. they ask Angela, Angela's there too.
So they're like, so have you been married? You know, have you been married before? Like, what did you do after your first divorce? And she's like, oh no, no, this is our first marriage. And so they ask how she met him and she tells him the elevator story.
And she goes, but you know, we were neighbors, but trust me, he was a bachelor and I had people at the front desk watching. And she's like, oh would go to the doorman and be like have you seen charles did he get any messages today or hose in his house yeah and everyone's like laughing that she did this and everything and so then um drew is like um hey hey vlad sound engineer vlad could you get everyone beverages Thank you so much.
They treat me so well. You know, they're so good to artists here.
It's great. And Kenya's like, um, isn't Dennis supposed to be here? Where's Dennis right now? And she's like, oh, you know what? How about champagne? Do you guys want me to pop champagne? We can pop the champagne.
I'm going to ignore that question. Yeah, because she even said earlier, she's like, well, Dennis is supposed...
Oh, no, she says later. She's like, he's supposed to be in the studio today, because we're supposed to be picking my single.
But, you know, he can't come, because Portia just told him he's dead meat if he ever does this on camera with Drew, right? But, yeah, she's trying to avoid it, and they're teasing her. And Kenny's like, uh-uh, I asked you about dennis and so uh angela's like so the hot dog guy's executive producing albums now she's like oh yeah he is he's doing great let me tell you he was the biggest support on my trip to puerto rico huge huge support three days of pure support did you guys talk about the situation with Portia? That was crazy.
Drew's like, no, didn't talk about it, but we texted. And Drew says that she tried to talk.
She says that doesn't answer the phone and they don't talk on the phone. She goes, we never, ever talk on the phone.
And it cuts to her talking on the phone with Dez. Be like, hey, what's going on? And we don't, look, we're not even friends.
We are strict. We have a strict business relationship.
And it's just a closeup of his contact in her phone, which says Dennis, bro. Yeah.
So she's trying to play this down. She's like, you know, like these girls, they just want to attack me.
I mean, it's just always everybody versus me. And Kenny's like, don't play victim.
A lot of the stuff you brought on yourself. Okay.
I do love you. But this, you started working with him without speaking directly to her.
Okay. And Cynthia's like, oh yeah.
Oh no. Drew first is like, no, I texted her January 23rd.
I said, hey girl, you want to hang out? Then on the 26th, she said she's out of town. Then I reached her 23rd, and she hit me back March 8th.
So come on, guys. Come on, guys.
Who's tried and who hasn't tried? Yeah. Now, yes, admittedly, Drew texted Portia and tried to set up a one-on-one moment with her.
But also, you could just text and say, hey, Dennis approached me about working on music together. I wanted to get your blessing because I think it would be really fun.
You could just text that. That's it, because she says they had a date at Nobu, and I don't believe that either.
I believe she was like, Portia, do you mind if I work, you know, is it going to be okay with you if I work with Dennis? And she's like, Nobu. And she's like, see, we had a reservation.
She totally canceled it.

Yeah, she said she had reservations, comma, no, boo.

And, you know, she just bailed on dinner.

Cynthia's like, Cynthia Bass is like,

yeah, you can just pick up the phone and just call her.

I mean, it's not that hard.

I did it.

So Cynthia's like, you know,

when Kenya booked my baby's daddy, Leon,

for Life Twirls On, which, as we all remember, went on for negative three seasons on Lifetime Television for Women, and we see clips of Kenya's pilot that she did that one season. That was so bad.
Yeah. Kenya's had a string of crazy businesses on their show.
I know. Hey, everyone.
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