#2773 RHOA S16E03 Part One: Mommy and Mean
This is part one of a two-part recap!
On The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Kelli throws a Mommy and Me event at Balmain, which leads to a flurry of ‘90s era pop culture insults. We honestly couldn’t ask for more. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.
Tickets for the Mounting Hysteria Tour are now on sale at watchwhatcrappens.com
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Press play and read along
Transcript
Speaker 1 This time of year, it's sensory overload everywhere, but one feeling we're still chasing cozy. And Bombas has the socks, slippers, tees, and basically everything to get you there.
Speaker 1
They're really stepping up their footwear too. New colors, new styles, fluffy things, suede things.
If you've got feet, they've got something for them. And I love putting on a fresh new sock.
Speaker 1
That's one of my favorite things when you get brand new socks and you put them on and you're just like walking on clouds. I love it.
And Bombas really delivers on that front.
Speaker 1 Head over to bombas.com slash crappins and use code crap ins for 20% off your first purchase. That's bombbas.com slash crap ins code crap ins to checkout.
Speaker 1 Ronnie, the holidays are around the corner and you got that nice house of yours that you've been decorating. I think it's time that you add some holiday cheer to it with Wayfair.
Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, it's the only person I'm going to use. Wayfair is the place to shop for all things home.
Speaker 1 Everything from sofas to spatulas, you name it, they have it, and you can get it up to 70% off during Wayfair's Black Friday sale. I love my Wayfair finds.
Speaker 1 All the stuff in my office, I've got stuff on my patio, I've got stuff all over the place. And you know, holiday stuff is going to be coming up next.
Speaker 1 It really is the go-to destination for everything home, no matter your style or budget. I have a beautiful leather couch, and it's a pullout that people sleep on.
Speaker 1
It's the most comfortable pullout I've ever had. No one complains about a pullout.
And do you know how rare that is? I got that from Wayfair.
Speaker 1 Everything you need for your living room, outdoor areas, bedroom, bedroom, and more. Wayfair makes it easy with fast and free shipping, even on the big stuff.
Speaker 1
Don't miss out on early Black Friday deals. Head to Wayfair.com now to shop Wayfair's Black Friday deals up to 70% off.
That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Sale ends December 7th.
Speaker 1
You already know we love Virgin Voyages. This cruise line is more iconic than Ramona Singer's Runway Walk.
We're talking all-inclusive everything.
Speaker 1
Wi-Fi, dining, entertainment, group fitness classes, everything is included. No hidden fees, no surprise charges.
And unlike most of the Cast of the Valley, all Virgin Voyages trips are 100% kid-free.
Speaker 1
No room for loud toys and crying kids to drown out the sounds of the ocean. The destinations are amazing, too.
Some highlights Aruba, St.
Speaker 1
Lucia, New York, Miami, Iceland, and a below-deck favorite, The Med. Oh my God, the boats are beautiful.
They're so modern. The rooms are just so luxurious.
Speaker 1
I love all the colored lighting in there and the balconies. And I also just love that they are tailored for adult experiences.
That makes me so happy.
Speaker 1 Make your next vacation a fabulous one with Virgin Voyages. Learn more at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor.
Speaker 1 Watch what craft is.
Speaker 1 Watch what craft is. Who cares what happens? But there's so much good rapids.
Speaker 1 Hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mantelker and joining me today is the wonderful and cheerful Ronnie Karam.
Speaker 1 Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Hi, how are you, Ben?
Speaker 1
I am just great. God, it feels like it was just a few hours ago that we were all the way across the country hanging out.
And now look at us. Now you're in Texas.
I'm in California.
Speaker 1 How did this even happen?
Speaker 1 Planes.
Speaker 1
Crazy, crazy invention. Planes.
Crazy, crazy inventions. Thank you to everyone who came out this weekend, who came to our shows in Charlotte and Atlanta.
That was so fun.
Speaker 1
It was so great to go back to both of those cities, two of our favorite cities to go to. We always have so much fun.
We had a great, great, great, great time.
Speaker 1 And today we're talking, we're recapping the Real House Was of Atlanta, which is kind of funny because I watched it in the Atlanta airport this morning.
Speaker 1
And now I'm here in LA to talk about Real House Was of Atlanta where I just was. And it feels like I should have stayed there to recap this.
It feels wrong. But either way, before we dive in.
Speaker 1
We also at the Ponce Market. That's where we stayed.
We stayed right there. And they were showing close-ups of it.
I was like, oh my God, hi. We were just right there.
Speaker 1
Our first Atlanta show is in the Ponce Market at the City Winery. So every time they show that sign, I'm always like, oh, our first one.
And one of our listeners reminded us.
Speaker 1 She was like, I was there at the first show when you guys did a double like a two in one night i'm like oh my god we were both like can you believe we did two shows in one night that's yeah we used to do that we used to do two live shows in one night that was that was stupid that's wild yeah it was stupid so um anyway our tour is going to keep on going we are going to the lincoln theater in dc this weekend and then we're going to the fillmore in Philadelphia the next day.
Speaker 1 That's going to be on Saturday and Sunday. We have kind of a funky schedule and we
Speaker 1
it's it's weird. We're going to do Southern Charms Reunion Part 1 in DC because we felt like DC is like, it's kind of like borderline the South.
So we felt like that should be in DC.
Speaker 1 And then for Sunday, we're going to do the latest recap for Summerhouse. So that's going to be several days after it airs.
Speaker 1 And so just, you know, for those who will not be at the show or just going to be other parts of the country, thanks in advance for your patience.
Speaker 1
We just really wanted to do Summer House in front of a live audience, and it's really fun for us. So that is what the discount is going to be.
What? Guess what we're going to do to make up for it.
Speaker 1
We're not going to sit around having no crappiness to listen to during the week. We're not fucking monsters.
So we are going to start by popular demand. And we know it's late.
We know it's late.
Speaker 1 But we are going to start doing white lotus recaps for the final two episodes.
Speaker 1
We're actually going to do a catch-up episode today because it was the big, one of the big episodes that everybody's been waiting for. A sword fight.
That's all I'll say. A skin sword fight.
Speaker 1 We've been waiting for it all year and it finally happened. So we're going to be talking about that as an extra bonus this week.
Speaker 1 We've already released an airport snaps this week, but we'll be doing an extra bonus to entice you guys to sign up because we just love signups.
Speaker 1 But also the final two episodes will be recapped fully on Patreon. So go over there for that.
Speaker 1 And then also to make up for those shows being late this week, we will start recapping Top Chef.
Speaker 1
Top Chef is back, baby. We're doing it.
We're going back into the world of Top Chef.
Speaker 1 And our first Top Chef is actually just going to be kind of like a talking about the cast, what's happened on the season so far. So that'll be happening later this week.
Speaker 1 So we have a lot of fun stuff happening this week.
Speaker 1 If you want to come see us in DC or in Philadelphia, or if you want to see us in one of our future dates, maybe in Detroit or Boston or Chicago or Austin or Dallas or Las Vegas, go to watchwalkcrappens.com.
Speaker 1
The schedule is there and ticketing ticketing links are there and we would love to see you there. So come join.
Yeah, we've been having a great time. It's been so wonderful.
Speaker 1
So many people and you guys are so sweet and so funny. Just loving.
We're having a great time. You guys are showing us a great time.
Speaker 1 I don't know how we're getting with you, but you guys are showing us a really great time.
Speaker 1 And I really had a career highlight, which is that someone brought me a Kia manual, user manual to sign over the weekend. And
Speaker 1
I love that. That was a very special moment.
And someone brought us keychains for our auntie van, for Watch What Crap is Auntie Van. Girl Scout cookies.
Girl Scout cookies. And I'm
Speaker 1
treated us as well. Yeah.
It's cool artists. It's like gifts from people who really know us, you know, the true us.
Speaker 1 I know, but it was like signing a key emanual.
Speaker 1 That was fun. That was
Speaker 1 pretty incredible.
Speaker 1 That felt like I had leveled up at that point.
Speaker 1 It also made me super proud because they brought a physical copy of Lonesome Dove, just the one book, not the four in the in the, not trilogy. What do you call that? A quat, a quatragy? I don't know.
Speaker 1 But I was like, damn, I'm proud of myself that I read so many of these pages, you know? Because I only see it on the Kindle.
Speaker 1
This really speaks to how little I am reading these days. Like, Ronnie, you just read a piece of literature that's the size of a yoga block.
Ben,
Speaker 1 here's a user manual for a Kia.
Speaker 1 Because you talk about your Kia a lot. Yeah.
Speaker 1 All right. Let's get going with Real Housewives of Atlanta, season 16, episode 3, called High Notes and Cheap Shots.
Speaker 1
Yes, I cracked up. I was laughing in the airport.
This episode was so funny to me. I'm loving this season so far.
I am so excited. And today, the taglines are here.
They have arrived.
Speaker 1 We have our new opening. The music, it's the same music, but they've kind of remixed it and kind of like spiffed it up a little bit.
Speaker 1
And the background now is kind of like, ooh, the streets of downtown Atlanta, but it's like very colorful and vibrant and saturated. I love it.
I'm just like loving this season so far.
Speaker 1 I feel like I've not loved Atlanta. Like I feel like this
Speaker 1 season has been the strongest kickoff in so many years for me for Atlanta. Well, there are a lot of small gifts for people who are paying attention in this show.
Speaker 1
And one of them is that whenever the Waffle Queen comes on the screen, she has her own theme music. They play the succession theme music every time she comes on.
I'm not noticing.
Speaker 1
So funny. It is so fucking funny.
It's the version of succession they wrote for Karen. You know, when Karen had her.
Oh, who's going to get Surrey Farm?
Speaker 1 So they play it every time this chick comes on screen, and I laugh out loud every single time. I think it's so funny.
Speaker 1 Like, my waffle dynasty, which kid is going to get the one who's going to get Nana's waffles?
Speaker 1 Well, I don't know if, did we discuss this on the season premiere?
Speaker 1 They also use my favorite bit of... Real Housewives of Salt Lake City music that I feel like
Speaker 1
they've taken it away from Salt Lake City. It appears in all these other shows as never on Salt Lake City.
Do you know what I'm talking about? It is, of course,
Speaker 1 yeah, they played it at Shamia's party, and I was like, there it is.
Speaker 1 So, anyway, the taglines are here. Do you want to kick it off with Portia?
Speaker 1 Sure. I snatched my peach back, but now I'm bringing the juice.
Speaker 1 Yeah, that's pretty good. I like that.
Speaker 1
I don't know, man. Like, you just, you've still got Hot Dog Man in your storyline.
There's some things I just don't like squeezing juice out of. It's both Hot Dog Man and Simon.
Speaker 1 Keep your juices to yourself, Porsche. Your juices have been tainted by some pretty gross men lately, okay? Clean your juice before you spray it all over my television screen.
Speaker 1 Well, then we have,
Speaker 1
then we have Drew Sedora, whose tagline is very reminiscent of Countess Luann's one season. Hers is, I'll always be upper level.
Everyone else is in the basement,
Speaker 1 which is a reference to Ralph being cordoned off into the basement. But Luann had one that was, I rise above the drama and won't settle for the lower level, which
Speaker 1
you may remember is a reference to when Luann was put in the basement at Ramona's house. She's like, there was a spider above the sink.
I'm in the basement. Could you believe it, girls?
Speaker 1 And then it continued into, and now I'm in the fish room. Wasn't it bad enough? I got the basement.
Speaker 1 uh so now we go over to shamia and shamia's like plus one honey i've always been that one
Speaker 1 it's a little generic you know also because apple one raised their prices because you know they trick you and they're like apple one is five dollars and you get apple music apple tv and storage and now they're like five million dollars so every time i hear one i just get mad but i like shamia for the most part i like shamia i have some thoughts on shamia but i like shamia um She's trying not to be the wind beneath your wings.
Speaker 1
I think it's very difficult when you're the Barbara Hershey in a relationship. You know, you've got Bette Middler saying, you're the wind beneath my wings.
And Barbara Hershey's like, awesome.
Speaker 1 I got to do nothing and get cancelled.
Speaker 1 So, you know, I didn't even get any attention for this movie and I never worked again very much. You know, but here's Bette Midler singing the song at every fucking funeral.
Speaker 1
Excuse you. Barbara Hershey didn't work very much.
She was in the seminal ballerina film Black Swan, which was true. So evil and so scary.
Speaker 1 And I remember seeing her at a, I got to go to a party once, and she was there. And I, I remember I walked up to her and I was like, you were amazing in Black Swan.
Speaker 1 And she looked at me like, oh God, it's another gay. Yeah.
Speaker 1 But I mean, does she have the same, like, she didn't have the same control over people? Like, Bette Midler could be like, gays, go out and clean up the freeways.
Speaker 1
And we're like, oh, my God, I love cleaning up trash on the freeway. You know, Barbara Hershey really just never had that pull.
And it's because she was the wind beneath the wing. And so I think
Speaker 1 she was the updraft yeah
Speaker 1 so I think that Shamia is you know she's trying to like put on the Bette Midler wig and she's trying to take over that role and it's just gonna take you know it's baby steps it's it's gonna be hard because I mean Shamia
Speaker 1 Shamia came in as Porsche's friend like sidekick and then she kind of became candy sidekick and then was that my computer that just made that noise did I just
Speaker 1 beeped at my ass at deep I think it was
Speaker 1 me I'm this is supposed to be do not disturb I guarantee that was my parents. Anytime it gets through, my parents have an ability to get right to Do Not Disturb.
Speaker 1
It does not matter what settings you have on. My parents will be like, They'll find a way.
We have a question about the Apple TV. And like, Apple's like, oh, there's an Apple TV question.
Speaker 1
We're passing this to anyone's do not disturb. Yeah.
But Shamia, she began to be able to do that.
Speaker 1 Don't they have that thing, which is like, Ben asked not to be disturbed, but do you want to disturb him anyway? Don't they have that thing now? Now you can say, like, I think disturb him anyway.
Speaker 1 I think so. You know what? It wasn't even my parents.
Speaker 1 Did you hear that one too?
Speaker 1 Was that just
Speaker 1
no? The second, was there a second ding? I heard that. There was a second one just now.
And that was... Okay, you didn't hear that.
Okay, thank God. My earphones,
Speaker 1
I'm losing my mind. Okay.
This is what happens when you fly across the country before you podcast. I cannot.
Speaker 1
This is what happens when you talk about Barbara Hershey and the Black Swan is that you start to become the Black Swan. Like, do you hear that text message? Do you hear that? I wait.
Go wait.
Speaker 1
Oh, my God. Black Swan.
I always took from that movie. I was like, oh, my God, her eating disorder is so successful.
And she looks so good in eyeliner.
Speaker 1 Well,
Speaker 1
all I was just going to say was that Shamia and Candy, I mean, Candy has that song, you know, I rise above. So that's literally like wind beneath.
She's basically like, Shamia,
Speaker 1
like, you're the wind beneath my wings because I'm rising above. And I can't do that without wind.
And that's you. So Shamia is already in the Barbara Hershey role, just by what Candy already sang.
Speaker 1 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1
She's in the Barbara Hershey role, and she's trying to be a vet, but it's going to take some time. We're going to need to give her some time to kind of warm up.
I do miss Candy's.
Speaker 1 Candy was like, I like, you know, I don't know what hers was, but like, sometimes I sing and sometimes I fly.
Speaker 1 But Shamia is keeping the spirit of Candy alive because Shamia sort of has Candy's hair, like her, Candy's like original hair that she came on with.
Speaker 1 You know, when Candy had like that sort of short hair. Similar, but she doesn't be the blonde.
Speaker 1
Yeah, it's not as spiky as Candy's original one, but it's sort of like round. It's very round on the top.
So she, she has kind of like the Candy Bears vibe,
Speaker 1 you going on with her.
Speaker 1 So
Speaker 1
she's kind of like the Jocelyn, not Jocelyn Wiltenstein. That's the lady whose face is.
R.I.P.
Speaker 1 Who did Hallie Berry play in that movie, that old-time movie star?
Speaker 1 Oh, Jocelyn Wiltenstein, yeah.
Speaker 1 Hallie Berry is.
Speaker 1
Jocelyn Wiltonstein. Jocelyn Wildenstein just died like a month ago.
And
Speaker 1 her
Speaker 1 obit, I'm going to tell everyone after you're done listening. Dorothy Dandrich.
Speaker 1
It is wild. Dorothy Dandrich.
Oh, yeah. I saw that movie.
Didn't Shonda Rhimes write that or direct it? I don't know. It's something for everyone to think about.
Okay, here is Kelly.
Speaker 1
Okay, Jocelyn Weldonstein's. Hold on.
I want to read Jocelyn. Jocelyn Wilden.
By the way, if anyone is coming here for a recap that makes any kind of sense, you're in the wrong place.
Speaker 1
We're not there today. So just kind of like that.
I kind of feel like our
Speaker 1 post-airplane recaps, the new late-night recaps for us.
Speaker 1 I think we're just going to be insane and we're never going to stop.
Speaker 1 Well, while you look that up, I was going to make a comment about Barbara Hershey. I feel like there is this like
Speaker 1 class of actresses from the 80s, late 70s and 80s, who are like respected and appreciated, but sort of forgotten about. It's like Kate Jackson, Barbara Hershey,
Speaker 1 Sissy Spacek.
Speaker 1 Who is Amy Madigan?
Speaker 1
You know, it's like they worked. Holly Hunter was sort of in that group, but I think she, she, she, to quote Candy Burrows, she rose above.
I think she transcended that group. We all know them.
Speaker 1 And I think us gays, when you mention them, the gays are like, oh my God, I love Amy Madigan. But the truth is they never quite got the gravitas of like a Bette Midler, you know? Yeah.
Speaker 1
And I feel like Barbara is in that group. They're all just wind.
But you know, we all need wind.
Speaker 1
Now, I will say this about the Jocelyn Wildenstein Obit. They're doing that thing where they make you pay to read it.
I'm sorry, something should just be free.
Speaker 1 Like, if there's a natural disaster coming, I shouldn't have to subscribe to your fucking newspaper to read it. You know what I mean?
Speaker 1 Like, you should tell me, like, your house is on fire, like, but pay for a subscription to find out, you know, where it started. No, tell me.
Speaker 1
And if Jocelyn Wildenstein dying is important news, I'm not paying you for it. Sorry.
It is very important. Speaking of, we'll be featuring that on our paid-only Patreon this week.
Speaker 1
Okay, so who's next? Okay, I'm next for Kelly. Hers is, I'm a mom of four girls.
Give me attitude and I'll ground you too. Wow.
Speaker 1
Well, first of all, I'm disappointed in this one because I feel like there should have been a waffle pun. Like, I don't know.
Yeah, it should have been like, I have strong opinions and I never waffle.
Speaker 1 Exactly, but she probably didn't want to say never waffle because it was against the brand.
Speaker 1 Maybe something like,
Speaker 1 don't waffle with me, otherwise I'll hit you with an iron. Maybe too violent.
Speaker 1 Waffle with me and I'll cook you.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1
Yeah. But I feel like the I'll ground you too.
It's like, it makes it sound like she's like, I have four girls and they're permanently grounded. So now you will be grounded too.
Speaker 1 My daughters don't get to do anything. They're grounded.
Speaker 1 So, yeah, I don't like that one either. And then we have Angela who's like, if you want to find the shade, just look for the oak.
Speaker 1 I feel like it's forced. I appreciated, like, I think coming on the heels of Kelly's non-waffle pun tagline, I was so thirsty for an appropriate pun that I was like, I accepted this oak pun, but
Speaker 1 in a vacuum, maybe not the best. I think we could do better.
Speaker 1 I'm expecting Angela to be the new star of this show. She hasn't really become the new star of this show, but I'm expecting her to.
Speaker 1 And I can see her really doing all the necessary things, having the necessary conversation.
Speaker 1 Like when she tried to talk shit with her daughter about the other ladies, and she's like, Why are you talking shit while dad's making, you know, 97 pounds of fucking broccolini or whatever he, or Brussels wraps, whatever he was doing?
Speaker 1
She's getting there, but she's just not there yet. So I expected something a little bit better.
But
Speaker 1 she deserved a better tagline, but I love her so far. I think she is so funny and she's shady.
Speaker 1 And I like that she's like older than the rest because I'm always going to gravitate towards the oldest one in the cast. So I am, I'm totally, I think I've like chosen her as my favorite so far.
Speaker 1 Although I really like Kelly too.
Speaker 1 Okay, so now we'll go to Brit. Brit says, excuse me, let me put on my apparatus.
Speaker 1 I'm pretty and paid. And of course, there's haters trying to shade.
Speaker 1
Pretty. I'm pretty and paid.
Girl, that's not a way to outrun the hooker allegations. I know, that's not.
Pretty and paid.
Speaker 1 What?
Speaker 1 Nobody owns me, but you can rent me. Like, what kind of line is that?
Speaker 1
Don't do that. It's also very, like, nursery rhymey.
I'm pretty and paid. Of course, there's haters trying to shade.
I don't know. The rhyming.
Speaker 1 I don't know if I love rhyming in my housewife's taglines. I feel like if they're all doing it, you can do it, but you can't just be the only rhymey one, you know.
Speaker 1 What, like, why did she not incorporate insurance into it? She should have been like, like a good neighbor, I'll fuck your man, or something like that, you know.
Speaker 1 I may not be very progressive, but my insurance is
Speaker 1 I'm progressive progressive and I've got good hands. Yeah.
Speaker 1
Okay, so those are the taglines. It's time for a commercial.
It's time for a crappin' commercial.
Speaker 1 You know that feeling when you come home late from work and those puppy dog eyes just pierce right through your soul? Or when you're packing for a trip and your cat refuses to leave your suitcase?
Speaker 1
Yeah, we've all been there. Pet parent guilt is real.
And you know what? It's completely normal. That's exactly why Hill's pet nutrition exists.
Speaker 1 They understand that being a pet parent means being human with all our imperfections and daily juggling acts. Hill's science-led nutrition helps you give more love than humanly possible.
Speaker 1 Whether it's those long work days or trying to balance attention between multiple pets, Hill's Pet Nutrition gets it.
Speaker 1
They've created science-based nutrition that supports your pet's lifelong health so you can feel confident even when life gets hectic. Because you're only human, there's Hills.
Science does more.
Speaker 1 Ready to let go of the guilt? Find the right food at hillspet.com slash crappins. That's hillspet.com slash crappins.
Speaker 1
Cold mornings, holiday plans. This is when I just want my wardrobe to be simple.
Stuff that looks sharp, feels good, and things I'll actually wear. For me, that's Quince.
Speaker 1 And the bonus, Quince pieces make great gifts too. I got a cashmere hoodie in like an oatmeal color, and it's finally time that I get to wear this thing.
Speaker 1 I'm wearing it all the time, and I look adorable and dashing. I love them for the wardrobe pieces like this, you know, when it's like cold, you get a nice sweater, a nice pair of pants.
Speaker 1 I mean, Quince is great for that. And I got a titanium watch band for my smartwatch that looks very chic.
Speaker 1 So this season's lineup is simple, but smart and easy with Quince, $50 Mongolian cashmere sweaters that feel like an everyday luxury and wool coats that are equal part stylish and durable.
Speaker 1 Their denim nails the fit and everyday comfort all at a fraction of what you'd expect to pay. Give and get timeless holiday staples that last this season with Quince.
Speaker 1
Go to quince.com slash crap-ins for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too.
That's q-u-i-n-ce-e.com slash crap-ins. Free shipping and 365-day returns.
Speaker 1 Quince.com slash crap-ins.
Speaker 1 Audible's romance collection has something to satisfy every side of you. When it comes to what romance you're into, you can't be pinned down unless you want to be.
Speaker 1
Here's your invitation to have it all. Fancy a dalliance with a duke or perhaps a sexy billionaire.
Find a book boyfriend in the city and another on the hockey field.
Speaker 1 Or if nothing on this earth satisfies, you can always find love in another realm. Hear modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Allie Hazelwood, the latest romanticy series from Sarah J.
Speaker 1 Moss and Rebecca Yarrows, and Regency favorites like Bridgerton and Outlander, plus all the really steamy stuff.
Speaker 1 Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com/slash crap ins that's audible.com/slash crap-ins.
Speaker 1 At Raisin Canes, we're hyper-focused on being the best at what we do and getting it right every time.
Speaker 1
Cook to order chicken fingers, cane sauce, crinkle-cut fries, coleslaw, Texas toast, iced tea and lemonade. It's our one love.
But is the hype real?
Speaker 1 Yeah, it's real good. Raisin Canes Chicken Fingers, one love.
Speaker 1 Next time, order with our app or online.
Speaker 1 We start over at Britt's house, and
Speaker 1
Britt's painful. Just honestly, just, I don't even think she's done anything all that wrong yet.
It's just that
Speaker 1
nose. I just feel so bad.
I feel like someone conked her on the nose and it just permanently flattened it like in a cartoon. And it won't ever.
And it's not the look of it. It's just the sound.
Speaker 1 It hurts my ear.
Speaker 1 So
Speaker 1
it is. She's with Mike.
The most uninterested husband of the season. Every time they show Mike, even if he's not chewing on something, he's doing that thing where he's like,
Speaker 1 like he does not want to be there.
Speaker 1 He's got an imagined toothpick in his mouth every single time he talks.
Speaker 1 If you're a disinterested, like if you're the most disinterested husband on the season, and this is the same season that has Charles Oakley and one guy, like stuck in a basement, that's saying something.
Speaker 1
Okay. Like that shows you're really disinterested.
Yeah. But she, so they're going to have Mike's family over.
Speaker 1 And so this, what's, I also think that Britt and Mike are revealing themselves to be in like the Drew Sedora
Speaker 1 sort of space of wealth, which is to say not that wealthy, but trying to act like they're wealthy because they have this like private chef there, but I feel like they've never had a private chef before because they invite over his family.
Speaker 1 And Britt's assistant is there, this cute guy, and he's wearing like a full-on tuxedo and he's like, he's handing people like paper plates of scallops.
Speaker 1 I'm like, have you ever cooked for people before? Like, have you ever? No, they're trying to make it like she has her parties all catered.
Speaker 1 Like, girl, you just had a scene last week where you were talking about your husband not buying you like real marble on your finishes. You know what I mean? And this week she's like, look at us.
Speaker 1
We have catering every week. And you know, she doesn't because the chef is wearing a t-shirt with his brand as big as possible on the t-shirt.
Yeah. So you know she's getting this for free.
Speaker 1
And that's fine, but I don't need a pretend rich person. You know, exactly.
I prefer someone who's like, I'm middle class, but I'm going to be richer than all these ladies.
Speaker 1 Yeah, there was something about like, it's like, oh, we're just going to have some lobster tail. And my assistant is in a tuxedo right now.
Speaker 1
I was like, but you're still in your like kind of suburban kitchen and it's like all casual. I just felt like they'd never done this before.
And they were like,
Speaker 1 maybe if we want to be like fancy folks, we'll put someone in a tux and oh, lobster, definitely lobster.
Speaker 1 What is
Speaker 1 this little music?
Speaker 1
One of the kids is like, lobster, don't you think that's a little too fancy? Even the kid does. Like, shut up, kid.
We do this every day. He's like on Yelp.
He's on Kid Yelp. Like,
Speaker 1 stars.
Speaker 1 And I always think of restaurants because I had a chef when I was working in restaurants one time be like, the funniest thing about lobster, they're the trash of the sea. Everybody knows it.
Speaker 1
They're not the trash of the sea. That is the people.
They do. They crawl along the the sea and eat all the garbage.
You know, rich people. They're just like, oh my God, lobsters are amazing.
Speaker 1
Lobsters are amazing. Congratulations.
So does every other animal. Every other animal literally eats garbage if they get given a chance.
Speaker 1
Like, I don't love the body eaters. There's one right behind me.
Look at him. Yeah, exactly.
Bueller.
Speaker 1 We're all acting like all our pets aren't sniffing each other's asses and stuff. They're all down there.
Speaker 1 Well, the only ones who aren't crawling along the bottom are those like are truly just like fish. You know, like a tuna is going to stay right
Speaker 1 mid-sea level to, oh, look at this guy. He looks like he had a big
Speaker 1 plate of poop. He had a lot of poop today.
Speaker 1 Bueller
Speaker 1 starring Barbara Hershey.
Speaker 1 For those who are listening at home, uh, Ronnie has moved out of the way, and we can see that Bueller is passed out on the sofa from eating too much poop today. No, he didn't, like,
Speaker 1 he doesn't eat it now, but he did when he was a puppy. Puppies are the worst poop eaters of all time.
Speaker 1 Well, um, anyway, the point is this:
Speaker 1 I was don't eat poop.
Speaker 1 And like,
Speaker 1 this, this meal just cracked me up because it just was so put on, right? So she gives us some backstory.
Speaker 1 Um, and she's like, I dated all these guys, and they're just like super over the top, you know, stunting and flossing. And I was like a huge video mixing in high school, so I was like a bad bitch.
Speaker 1
And I was like in all the music videos, so I've been lit since day one. But then when I met Mike, he was just very reserved.
And I decided, okay, I can stop having fun for the rest of my life.
Speaker 1
So I decided to get with him. Yeah.
I really, I really am attracted to a guy who doesn't need to look cool. And he just like, he doesn't even spend money on real toothpicks.
Speaker 1 He just has pretend ones in his mouth while you talk to him. And he's like,
Speaker 1 yeah, that's me. So the big conversation here is
Speaker 1 we're going to get a real ceremony soon because they had the Vegas wedding or the City Hall wedding. And he, listen, this man is not going to spring for your real marble
Speaker 1
countertop. He's not going to spring for a wedding.
This man is cheap. Okay.
We know this man is cheap. And sometimes that's a great thing because they'll save your money.
Speaker 1 You know, and I feel like a lot of times on this show, nobody's saving their money, but this man is going to save that money. But she is going to get that ceremony because now.
Speaker 1
A couple of cast members are doing this. Now she's on reality TV and that's a storyline.
You know, she wants her, she's already going to go for a wedding spinoff.
Speaker 1
And then Angela Oakley later is like, oh, shouldn't we renew our vows, honey? And he's like, oh, for fuck's sake. No.
Oh, I was so sad when she said that. I was like, but I like you two together.
Speaker 1 I don't want you guys to get divorced.
Speaker 1 So the other thing about Britt that we learned is that she used to date Rick Ross, which, you know, that's exciting for her. And then now all the lobster comes out.
Speaker 1 Yeah, there was a lot of bragging I didn't really understand.
Speaker 1
Well, Rick Ross was like, I mean, he still isn't. Well, I guess that was when.
I guess it's when you dated Rick Ross, right?
Speaker 1
Imagine if it was just some guy named Rick Ross. It wasn't Rick Ross.
It was Rick who owned the Ross dress for less. Yeah.
Now I would date that motherfucker. Yes.
Yeah. Now that's a man right there.
Speaker 1 So, um, uh, so yeah, she dated him.
Speaker 1 And then now they're just sort of making small talk at the table because basically, um, Britt is she's kind of just like gearing up so she can have a scene with her sister-in-law.
Speaker 1 So she's like talking about how she met Kenya and how Kenya was kind of shady, but like, um, but like, as long as Kenya keeps it cute, everything will be cool, you know?
Speaker 1 So eventually, Britt, out of nowhere, in the middle of their nice lobster dinner, is like, hey, she says it to her sister-in-law, Natasha. Hey, do you want to go downstairs so we can talk?
Speaker 1 So in the middle of dinner, they just go down to the basement. So Britt has to tell her.
Speaker 1
Or what she kind of refers to, like she kind of insinuates as her champagne room. So they go downstairs.
And yeah, there's this whole other room because she's trying to do a Shamia now.
Speaker 1
Like, I have a separate room where we can talk. I'm rich, too.
By the way, I have to just say, Rick Ross is still pretty hot. I mean, he's still hottish.
Rick Ross is hot.
Speaker 1 I mean, not hot, but he's, I figured time probably did it, did a number on him, but he still looks the same to me.
Speaker 1 You know, he has nice furs and gold chains. I'm looking at him right now.
Speaker 1 Yeah, he, you know,
Speaker 1 there was one time when I was an Uber driver when I had to pick up someone and I had to like drive them.
Speaker 1 Like Rick Ross was like in a, he was like in a, I like in a, not a van, but he was like in a sprinter van or something or like an SUV and I had to like bring a musician to his van
Speaker 1 god the confessions weird confessions of the trafficker
Speaker 1 no it wasn't it was it was just like an aspiring musician who was gonna have a meeting with rick ross and like that you picked up from nickelodeon and took over what the hell no
Speaker 1 delivery no but it there were all sorts god i loved being an uber driver there's just so many random things i think being an uber driver in la is fun because you get to
Speaker 1 every now and then you get to like take someone to like a famous person's house like or like a randomly famous person's house like I once brought someone to um
Speaker 1 Simon Cowell's ex-wife's house what's her name Terry or whatever she's like a correspondent extra and I was like ooh I now know where that lady lives
Speaker 1 the power not the power
Speaker 1 of knowing where that extra correspondent lives in 2014 it's very exciting
Speaker 1 infinity stone on the meaningless the meaningless list of life
Speaker 1
at one time I picked some up someone up from Avici's house, R.I.P. And it was like a Swedish guy.
And he was just like talking. He's like, yeah, I'm staying with my friend.
He's a DJ.
Speaker 1
He's pretty famous. I was like, oh, really? He's like, yeah, his name's Avici.
Do you know him? I was like, of course I know who Avici is.
Speaker 1
And now I can say, yeah, I picked someone up from Avici's house. And I will use this sometime in about 11 years on a podcast.
Yeah. Or as I used to call him, have a sci-i.
Speaker 1
Okay, so here we are. Britt is talking about wanting a ceremony and the sister-in-law is like, he better give you one.
He's sure cheap. And then Mike's like, can we eat scallops?
Speaker 1
I'm not paying for those scallops. I don't want to fucking eat them.
Get up there. We need to eat strawberry shortcake.
And then we find out a little bit about Britt.
Speaker 1 And she says, my dad was a huge business professional in the orange industry. No.
Speaker 1 Did she say that?
Speaker 1 Did she say the orange industry? I just heard.
Speaker 1 I was watching this in an airport. So maybe
Speaker 1 I just heard her say that he was a huge professional, but I didn't hear the orange industry. That's what's in our notes.
Speaker 1 I don't know.
Speaker 1
I mean, people do eat oranges a lot still. There is an orange industry.
Okay. It's not, it's, it's, it's called Tropicana, not Tropicanta.
Okay. It's a thing.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 And so he worked really hard and he left behind when he passed away. He left the mom a $2 million
Speaker 1 life insurance policy, but she didn't get it because he was in between jobs. So I guess it didn't transfer from
Speaker 1 that's crazy. How do you work? I mean, I get that health insurance is like that, but is life insurance like that too? That makes no sense.
Speaker 1 By the way, that's such bullshit that health insurance is tied to your job and you're stuck to your job forever because you can't get health insurance because health insurance is $9 million now and covers fucking nothing.
Speaker 1
Fuck you, health insurance. How are we not rioting in the street other than the fact that I'm exhausted? Okay.
Well, yeah, I mean, there was,
Speaker 1 they got a little violent there in December. So then
Speaker 1 we had. Only one person.
Speaker 1 Well, that's pretty violent. Someone got murdered.
Speaker 1
But like, because people are angry. People are angry about it.
I'd buy his calendar after my last doctor bill. Yeah, I'd buy it.
He'll be on Dancing with the Stars someday.
Speaker 1 So anyway, the point is
Speaker 1 that
Speaker 1 what a wonderful Passo Doble. God, you really,
Speaker 1 really earned this 10.
Speaker 1
So the point is that they were owed $2 million. And I don't know what happened, why they didn't get it.
That's absolutely crazy.
Speaker 1 And of course, an insurance company is going to like screw them out of it. And so then she decided to start her insurance agency
Speaker 1
because she didn't want this to happen again. So she started to go fund me when her dad passed away.
And she didn't want anyone to go through what she went through.
Speaker 1 And she's, by the way, she's telling this to her sister-in-law as if the sister-in-law has not heard the story about it 10 different times.
Speaker 1 And Natasha's like,
Speaker 1
okay, great. Yeah.
Okay. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh. Great.
Love to hear the story again. She's like, I come from a hard background too.
My brother won't pay for marble countertops.
Speaker 1 How do you think, how easy do you think that is to live down? She's like,
Speaker 1 I have a lobster tail upstairs. How much longer is this going to be? Because
Speaker 1 last time I checked to put some foil over it, it's just not going to be the same. So Britt tells us this kind of weird story about a business.
Speaker 1 So the dad passed, then she started to go fund me, and she doesn't want to ever have to go through that again. So she decided to start her own family business.
Speaker 1 So she starts a family business with her two sisters, but then they got all pissed off when she decided to sell the family business.
Speaker 1 Was it a family business that you sold out from under them? Or was this a business of yours that you hired them to work at? And then it it was your right to sell it.
Speaker 1 Because the way she told it, I was like, well, I'd be pissed at you too. You can't just sell their business.
Speaker 1
Yeah, something there's more to this story. And I love, I love a, I love a stupid family controversy like this.
You sold the family insurance company.
Speaker 1 So I definitely think there's more than meets the eye. This is like a Danielle Cabral level thing, you know, where Danielle Cabral's like, I don't know what happened.
Speaker 1 You know, I just was, I made a joke and now my brother won't talk to me anymore. I'm like, we know it was more than a joke.
Speaker 1 You make a couple of innocent TikToks and finally you got a brother who wants to start some shit with you.
Speaker 1 Yeah, I feel like there's a larger story to be told and I'm excited when it, when it finally bleeds into the tabloids. So Natasha's like, you know, you push family so hard.
Speaker 1
You know, we shouldn't even be having this conversation. We got to fix that.
Also, again, lobster tail upstairs and some nice sides. I'd like to get back to that, please.
Yeah, so
Speaker 1
the husband, Michael, is like, get up here and eat this strawberry shortcake. And he goes, it's even got a little lemon twist.
And she goes, not a lemon twist.
Speaker 1
So I was like, yeah, just please at least pretend you've had catering before. Come on, man.
But by the way, there actually is more, some more context to the story because Britt actually says more.
Speaker 1 She says that
Speaker 1
she brought her sisters into the business and she said that her older sister felt like she was too tough. as a boss.
So she left. And then her middle sister,
Speaker 1 she got very complacent. So Britt had to fire her sister.
Speaker 1
There's stories here. I can't wait to hear.
Yeah, I want to see these stories too. Okay.
Speaker 1 So then we go to lunch with Portia and Kelly at a place called Lock and Key, which is interesting because I think Portia's been locked out of her house now like five times.
Speaker 1 So I would think this would be a triggering restaurant to take her to, but here we are.
Speaker 1 There's a joke in here about Ralph in the basement. I just haven't quite articulated it yet.
Speaker 1 So Portia is like saying that she's been refraining from drinking she's like but i need whatever is strong enough to deal with whatever kelly's bringing so i need i need hanisha to come down and help me with this yeah she actually says i've been refraining from drinking which
Speaker 1 it's good to see that portion's still portia at the end of it i'm refraining from drinking yeah yeah i got that too
Speaker 1 uh so kelly shows up and she's like well and it's like the succession music that's how you know kelly's coming it's like the pianos from succession so
Speaker 1 uh-huh so she's like well i'm not drinking today because this is a scene where they're supp they supposed to hate they're supposed to hate each other and so she's like you know i don't know this girl at all but i'm optimistic about seeing a different side to her you know i'm not going to be mean to the only person who actually makes fresh carbs
Speaker 1 Kelly's like, yeah, the vibes are definitely off. However, I do have an upcoming event at Balman, which she says Balma about 45 times this episode.
Speaker 1 Like, sorry, got an event coming up later today at boman
Speaker 1 i feel bad that even balmont or balmain how do you say it i mean i don't know i'm too poor i think it is bombon but she says balmon so many times i feel bad that balmont has to like do this kind of an event because there it seems sad you know like balmont doesn't seem like it should have to do this where they're like we're gonna give 10 of 10 of your balm on to poor people how about 90 okay are you that desperate for sales that you're gonna like turn this into a fake charity thing poor balmont they really find It's just funny because it feels like fashion, fashion houses, yeah, they shouldn't even care about the rest of us.
Speaker 1
They should hate us. And so it's like weird that they're like, well, we're going to do something that's charitable.
We're like, what?
Speaker 1
Yeah, they're like, we're going to give 10% of this to starving people. Just kidding.
We love starving people.
Speaker 1 Well, you never know what's going to happen at Balmont.
Speaker 1 So
Speaker 1
basically, Kelly wants Portia to come to her Balmont event. And so she's going to play nice.
So Kelly, we see a flashback that Kelly invited her.
Speaker 1 She's like, I would love you and your beautiful daughter to come visit this mommy and me event at Balmont.
Speaker 1 And by the way, you can tell Balmong Corporate was like a mommy, a mommy and me event at one of her stores.
Speaker 1
Someone got fired over this. Someone was fired.
Someone was fired. Yeah, someone got fired.
Someone heard like a mommy. You're inviting children to a Balmong on purpose.
Get it.
Speaker 1 I have to say, like, no joke, when she said that there was going to be a mommy and me event at a Balmont, I thought maybe I misheard this. Maybe this is like
Speaker 1
a place with like a ball pit or something that was like ball, like ball something. Like I, I was like, or pizza place.
I was like, this is
Speaker 1
surely not a mommy and me event at a balmont. I didn't know that that was allowed.
And isn't that like the first rule of fashion? No mommy and me events. I don't know.
Am I crazy?
Speaker 1 I just can't imagine Kelly Catron signing off on such a thing. No, she'd be like, cry outside.
Speaker 1
Okay, so they decide, Portia decides she'll she'll make up with her. So she's like, I mean, I don't understand this energy you're putting off today.
I mean, I don't know what to expect.
Speaker 1
And she's like, what energy? She goes, I mean, I don't know. You just have so many different personalities, you know? I don't know none of them yet.
And she goes, oh, really?
Speaker 1
I have different personalities. Like, she's trying to do this like bad bitch attitude.
And Portia's just laughing at her the whole time, which is cracking me.
Speaker 1
Portia's like, girl, I'm not giving you this. You are new.
You don't get to have like some epic war with me the whole season. No, go fuck with Kenya.
Speaker 1 Yeah, that's exactly right and you know kelly you really missed a chance here because when when she said you have different personalities kelly that was your cue to say are you saying that i'm waffling between people and personalities but she's still
Speaker 1 so portia's like you know what kelly's a beautiful woman and like she has a lot of personality and they they all start with l loud loud louder loud ass loud
Speaker 1
And she's like, well, I have different personalities and she has different men. So what difference does it make? Don't slut, shame her.
She's making a living for Christ's sake.
Speaker 1
She's had a lot of big houses in the past two years. Okay.
She has. But I did laugh when Kelly said that.
So Kelly is like, you know, we honestly have so many things in common that we don't know.
Speaker 1
I mean, I feel like, you know, like we have kids. We're mothers.
We have kids. She really likes to say that a lot.
She's like, we have so much in common. We have children.
Speaker 1 So that kind of means, yeah, we're, we're like, you're like a ball to my mom.
Speaker 1 Uh, so Kelly's like, okay, look, I just, I had dinner with Britt and Shamia, and I was just trying to figure out what was going on with you. That's all.
Speaker 1 She goes, uh-uh, that is not what was brought to me. Everything that was saying that y'all, that y'all said, I was like, that's a lot of stuff, you know.
Speaker 1
And, you know, to prepare to be this judge, you know, from people who don't even know me, who don't even own TVs. And Kelly's like, well, it wasn't.
It was just very innocent.
Speaker 1 And I just said, you know very innocently why did she take that woman's husband i mean
Speaker 1 it was just like saying could i have a refill it was just it was so benign and you know then she was like well and so shamia said that's a question for you to ask her when you see her so portia
Speaker 1 portia's like wait a second my best friend told you to approach me at her birthday party i'm like i don't think That's what that meant.
Speaker 1 I think it just meant like, don't put, if you have an issue with her, you ask Portia. Don't put me in the middle of it.
Speaker 1 But portia takes it as wait a second shamia told you to set me up at a birthday party on our first day of shooting a group event well it's very portia because she's like listen you're not important enough to fight over something stupid but i will make something up with you know i will make a reason up to fight with shamia because now they're making her the star of my show and she's supposed to just be my friend you know so she's like i'm gonna start shit with shamia why no reason Really don't have to.
Speaker 1
But I'm going to make it. We have a reboot.
We need to do something.
Speaker 1 I actually have to say, you know what?
Speaker 1 Normally I I would say, you know, you should always believe you're bestie from high school over the newbie who's coming in.
Speaker 1 But I think this maybe indicates that Porsche is saying, hey, we got to like kick things up here in Atlanta on this show a little bit.
Speaker 1
So sure, if it means that I have to go fight Shamia, I will do it. I will do it for the show.
And I appreciate that can-do attitude.
Speaker 1 Well, and Shamia gave her a little attitude when she showed up late and like got into her scene about the car, like gifting the car.
Speaker 1 And then Shamia was giving her attitude in the closet behind closed doors where she was like, not cool, Portia, or whatever. So Portia's like, oh, really?
Speaker 1 This girl thinks she's going to come on and take over my show? Well, I'm going to start a fight with her now over telling me.
Speaker 1 Cause in a normal episode, if Shamia didn't tell Portia that and this girl came for Portia, Portia would be like, you knew she was going to do that and you didn't tell me or you didn't tell me that she was, you know, so Portia's just grasping, but I like it.
Speaker 1
Yeah, I support it. I think it's great.
And Portia's like, you know, Shamia, Shamia knows that I'm going to a divorce right now and I just don't see why she would do that.
Speaker 1 I mean, why would my friend set me up to be ambushed by Toto?
Speaker 1
So Kelly's like, well, we can tell her we cleared the air. She goes, whatever, you're a troll.
And she's like, excuse me. And she's like, yeah, you know, I was just coming to have a good time.
Speaker 1
And she goes, oh, no, you like the ping pong with me a little bit. You'd like it.
She goes, okay, at least you give energy. I like you.
So they decide to be friends.
Speaker 1 But she said like, she said, like, you're a troll, but you're like, what did she say? Like a glamour troll or a golden troll or something.
Speaker 1
She like made like a nice troll name for her. Yeah.
And then Kelly tried to keep up. She's like, well, can I at least be the pink troll?
Speaker 1 So
Speaker 1
yeah, she called her a treasure troll. Oh, treasure troll.
That's what it was. Yeah.
Yeah. So then we go to Drew in her studio, which cracks me up every single time.
Speaker 1
She's like, guys, hi, hi, studio people. It's me, Drew.
God, you might have seen me on a lot of posters on Tubi. And I've been in Puerto Rico.
Okay. I've been in Puerto Rico.
Speaker 1
And I just did a whole movie of me screaming. We shot for a grueling three days.
It was rough.
Speaker 1
Yeah, it was called The Pass Out. And it was just, it was just a lot of work.
Oh, God. To be a working actress is a blessing.
And now I'm here with you guys.
Speaker 1
God, I just thank you so much for being patient with me right now. So she goes into the booth and she's like, I'm not too good at keeping secrets.
Everybody knows. I'm not too good at hiding weakness.
Speaker 1 You got me. It shows.
Speaker 1 Sausage comes in a casement,
Speaker 1 but you can't see it because you live in a basement.
Speaker 1 Also, they show her. Um,
Speaker 1 we see her singing to track because you know, she probably hasn't learned this song and can't find a key. So, they show
Speaker 1
they play the track of her singing. And the difference between the on-key auto-tune track and whatever is coming out of her mouth is it's glaring.
It's a glaring difference.
Speaker 1 But she doesn't notice, so she's really happy. And she's, of course, invited all the girls to come over and watch her sing and act like she's, you know, doing her first country album or whatever.
Speaker 1
She's like, girls, girls, please, please stop the cameras. Stop the recording.
My lovely girlfriends are here. Girlfriends, please.
Girls, gather around. Hold on.
Speaker 1 Please, if Barbara Streisand calls, tell her I'll reach her later. Okay.
Speaker 1
Hello, Angela, Cynthia, and Kenya. Please sit down.
Welcome to my studio. Sorry if I sound a little hoarse.
As I mentioned before, shooting so many movies right now. Oh, anyway, to be a singer.
Speaker 1 And Cynthia's like, well, that was a a love song and i know a love song when i hear this i'm like yeah what part of the slow sounding music and her singing lyrics like can you fall in love for a minute indicates that it wouldn't be a love song i know i love that cynthia's like got her finger on the pulse because like love for a minute that's a love song
Speaker 1 that's a love song she's got it
Speaker 1 she's got like the she's got like the detective she's got like the magnifying glass from like carmen san diego she's like i spy a love song yeah andrew's like well it's a love song but But for me, it really speaks to me like a falling out of love song, hence the basement references.
Speaker 1
And Cynthia's like, well, that must be healing because, you know, it's about your life falling out of love with Ralph. And she's like, yeah, it was really rough.
You know, we have a whole song about
Speaker 1 having a dinner thrown on top of a dry cleaner. So
Speaker 1 it comes from the heart. This whole album.
Speaker 1
Yeah, you know, I know when everything happened, Kenya was reaching out. and I just, I feel the love and support, you know, but I kind of go into a shell.
It's just what artists do.
Speaker 1
And Cynthia's like, same, same. You know, I just threw myself into my career.
All the nothing I've been doing since you've seen me last.
Speaker 1 I've been professionally doing nothing.
Speaker 1
And I've just really thrown myself into that nothing since then. I did a TikTok dance and I did ride the escalator at the Beverly Center.
But other than that, it's been great.
Speaker 1
I really have cleaned my countertops. So that's been fun.
Spend a lot of time in my kitchen on my career. My countertop career.
So
Speaker 1
Fantastic. It really is Fantastic.
I just want to leave you with that nugget. It's a great, great.
Speaker 1 So they ask Angela, Angela's there too. So they're like, so have you been married? You know, have you been married before? Like, what did you do after your first divorce?
Speaker 1
And she's like, oh, no, no, this is our first marriage. And so they ask how she met him.
And she tells them the elevator story.
Speaker 1 And she goes, but you know, we were neighbors, but trust me, he was a bachelor. And I had people at the front desk watching.
Speaker 1 And she's like, oh, yeah, I would go to the doorman and be like, have you seen Charles? Did he get any messages today? Or hose him his house?
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1 And everyone's like laughing that she did this and everything. And so then Drew is like,
Speaker 1
hey, hey, Vlad, sound engineer, Vlad, could you get everyone beverages? Thank you so much. They treat me so well.
You know, they're so good to artists here. It feels great.
And Kenya's like,
Speaker 1 isn't Daniel Dennis supposed to be here? Where's Dennis right now? And Drew's like, oh, you know what? How about champagne? Do you guys want me to pop champagne? We can pop the champagne.
Speaker 1 I can ignore that question. Yeah, because she even said earlier, she's like, well, Dennis is supposed to, oh, no, she says later.
Speaker 1 She's like, he's supposed to be in the studio today because we're supposed to be picking my single, but you know, he can't come because Porsche just told him he's dead meat if he ever does this on camera with Drew, right?
Speaker 1
But yeah, she's trying to avoid it. And they're teasing her.
And Kenny's like, uh-uh,
Speaker 1 you I asked you about Dennis.
Speaker 1 and so uh angela's like so the hot dog guy's executive producing albums now she's like oh yeah he is he's doing great let me tell you he was the biggest support on my trip to puerto rico huge huge support three days of pure support
Speaker 1 Did you guys talk about the situation with Portia? That was crazy.
Speaker 1 Drew's like, no, didn't talk about it, but we texted. And Drew says that she, that like, she tried to talk.
Speaker 1
She says that Dez doesn't answer the phone and they don't talk on the phone. And we're looking, she goes, we never ever talk on the phone.
And it cuts to her talking on the phone.
Speaker 1
Dan has to be like, hey, what's going on? And we don't, look, we're not even friends. We are strict.
We have a strict business relationship.
Speaker 1 And it's just a close-up of his contact in her phone, which says Dennis Brew.
Speaker 1 Yeah.
Speaker 1
So she's trying to play this down. She's like, you know, like these girls, they just want to attack me.
I mean, it's just always everybody versus me. And Kenny's like, don't play victim.
Speaker 1 A lot of the stuff you brought on yourself, okay? I do love you, but this, you started working with him without speaking directly to her. Okay.
Speaker 1
And Cynthia is like, oh, yeah. Oh, no.
Drew first is like, no, I texted her January 23rd. I said, hey, girl,
Speaker 1
you want to hang out? Then on 20, the 26th, she said she's out of town. Then I reached her 23rd and she hit me back March 8th.
So come on, guys. Come on, guys.
Who's tried and who hasn't tried?
Speaker 1
Yeah. No, yes, admittedly, Drew texted Portia and tried to like set up a one-on-one moment with her.
But also you could just text and say, hey, Dennis approached me about working on music together.
Speaker 1 I wanted to get your blessing because I think it would be really fun. You could just text that.
Speaker 1
That's it, because she says they had a date at Nobu. And I don't believe that either.
I believe she was like, Portia, do you mind if I work, you know?
Speaker 1
Is it going to be okay with you if I work with Dennis? And she's like, no, boo. And she's like, see, we had a reservation.
And she totally canceled it.
Speaker 1 yeah she said she had reservations comma no boo and uh you know i she just bailed on dinner so cynthia's like cynthia base is like yeah you can just pick up the phone and just call her i mean it's not that hard i did it so um she cynthia's like you know when kenya booked my baby's daddy leon for Life Trolls On, which, as we all remember, went on for a negative three seasons on lifetime television for women.
Speaker 1 And we see
Speaker 1 busy clips of Kenya's pilot that she did that one season. That was so bad yeah kenya's had a string of crazy businesses on this show i know
Speaker 1 hey everyone this is the end of part one of this recap for part two keep an eye on your podcast feed it is coming up in just a moment thanks so much for listening catch you on the second half Watch what Crappins would like to thank its premium sponsors.
Speaker 1
Ain't no thing like Allison King. Our way is the Amber Way.
It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster.
It's always always automatic with Ashley Otto.
Speaker 1
Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.
Catherine D. Bernardo has our hearto.
Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offa. Dana C, Dana Dew.
Speaker 1
She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela.
Itchels. We never miss her call.
It's Diane Call. Aaron McNicholas, she don't miss no tricholis.
Jamie, she has no less namie.
Speaker 1
You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go.
We all go for Hugo. Hava Nagila Weber.
Speaker 1
We could all learn from Jennifer Kearns. She's our kind of mess.
It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Tratch.
Knock, knock, knocking on Katie Mannock's door.
Speaker 1
She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock. Kristen the Piston Anderson.
Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B. Rigging the funk.
It's Leslie Plunkett. She gets a name from us.
It's Lindsay D.
Speaker 1
Let's give a kiss a Reno to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry.
We love her on the rocks. It's Melissa Cox.
Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the burg.
Speaker 1
This is living with Michelle Vivian. I love a ya, Olivia Williamson.
Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson. She sure is swell, it's Raquel.
Yes, we canna. It's Sedana.
Speaker 1
Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.
The Bay Area Betches. Betches.
And our super premium sponsors. She's V V I P, it's Amanda V.
Speaker 1
Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.
She's got a leg up, it's Beth Ani. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.
Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neal.
Speaker 1
Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.
Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland. It's our queen, it's Queen Laifa.
Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall.
Speaker 1
Know your worth with Jason Kurt. We got our wish, it's Jen Plish.
She's not harsh, she's she's Jill Hirsch. She's a little bit loony, Junie.
My favorite Murdoch, Karen McMurdo.
Speaker 1
She gets an A, it's Kelly B. We love him madly.
It's Kyle Pod Chadley. We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder-Baron.
She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthe. Always killing it, it's Lola Alcalani.
Speaker 1
The incredible, edible Matthew Sisters. She eases our woes, it's Melissa St.
Rose.
Speaker 1
Give him hell, Miss Noel. She's the queen bee, it's Sarah Lemke.
Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony. Let's take off with Tam Laplain.
She ain't no shrinking violet couchar.
Speaker 1 We love you guys.
Speaker 1 If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.
Speaker 1 Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondry.com slash survey.
Speaker 2
Picture this. You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange.
The horizon doesn't look right. At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.
Speaker 2
Then the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all.
It's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water, and it's racing straight toward you.
Speaker 2 On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning.
Speaker 2 No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no no evacuation.
Speaker 2 And this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive.
Speaker 2 Follow Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Against the Odds Tsunami in Thailand early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.