#3008 Great British Baking Show Part One: Bread in the Face

Audible's romance collection has something to satisfy every side of you.

When it comes to what romance you're into, you can't be pinned down unless you want to be.

Here's your invitation to have it all.

Fancy a dalliance with a duke or perhaps a sexy billionaire.

Find a book boyfriend in the city and another on the hockey field.

Or, if nothing on this earth satisfies, you can always find love in another realm.

Hear modern rom-coms from authors like Lily Chu and Allie Hazelwood, the latest romanticy series from Sarah J.

Moss and Rebecca Yaros, and Regency favorites like Bridgerton and Outlander, plus all the really steamy stuff.

Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial at audible.com slash crap-ins.

That's audible.com/slash crap-ins.

As a small business owner, you know that change is the name of the game.

Operational costs, labor markets, tariffs.

Wouldn't it be nice if something stayed the same?

How about your business internet rate?

Get reliable, secure 5G business internet from T-Mobile for Business for $40 a month with a five-year price guarantee when paired with a voice line.

That's stability you need from the partner you can depend on.

Switch now at t-mobile.com/slash BI.

Plus, taxes and fees guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply, see exclusions and details at t-mobile.com.

This podcast is supported by FX's English teacher.

Last year's critically acclaimed series returns to follow Evan, Gwen, and Marky as they vibe for their students' divided attention.

See why Cosmopolitan called its premiere season a master class of comedy, while Glamour raved it's the year's funniest and most heartwarming new comedy series.

FX's English teacher, All New Thursdays on FX.

All episodes now streaming on Hulu.

Watch what crap is, watch what crap is.

Who cares what happens for this?

So much that crap is

a good thing.

Well, hello and welcome to Watch Our Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo we love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker.

Joining me today is the one and only Ronnie Carom.

Hi, Ronnie.

How are you?

Good.

What's going on with you, baby?

Not much.

I'm very excited because today we are going to recap some Great British Bake Off.

We're in the Bravo drought.

So, you know, we're just sampling different shows to recap and have fun with.

We're just sort of having fun with this moment.

And we decided to revisit Great British Bake Off, which we've recapped in the past.

We're just diving right in on Bread Week.

We actually already started this episode.

We started it and we started, we did a deep dive into the cast.

We're like, let's talk about the cast before we start recapping.

And that was so long, it became its own episode.

And we decided to make that our bony this week on Patreon.

So if you want to hear a deep dive about this this cast, that's there at Patreon, patreon.com slash watch or crappins.

But this is the episode of the recap.

This is where we're going to dive into it.

Now, before we get into that,

a shout out that I made on the bony, and I'll make out again here because it's on the bony.

Our friend, Ira Madison, his apartment burned down.

He is a fellow podcaster.

He was the,

he just left Keep It, but that was his podcast for a while.

He's been on this show several times.

We know him both in the podcast world, we know him outside.

We love this guy, and

he lost everything.

He lost every single thing.

So,

yeah, it's absolutely

terrible.

He has a GoFundMe.

It's on his Instagram at IraTheIII.

Just look up Ira Madison, Ira Madison III, and go help him out if that's something that you're able to do or want to do.

But our hearts go out to him.

We want to see him back on his feet.

So that way he can write cutting, cutting commentary about pop culture like he does all the time he's an immensely talented guy go help him out so ira love you buddy love you ira's okay over there it's a good guy over there so yeah help if you can for sure help him out help him out if you can um but with that being said let's dive into

we're just going starting right into the latest episode of great british baking show which is the bread week So we kind of touched on cake week and biscuit week in our cast preview.

So again, go check that out at patreon.com slash watchworkrabens.

But we're going to, right now, it's time to talk about bread.

And one thing I have to say right away, something I am going to reiterate that we talked about on the bony is I love Allison.

She is our new host that came on last season with Noel, replacing Matt, who did not work for me.

I'm also enjoying that.

They had a really big, silly Jurassic Park skit at the beginning of the season, which I was rolling my eyes at, but somehow by the end of it, I was chuckling.

I'm really glad that we are not getting really skits subsequently.

Like I was happy with the big skit at the beginning, and I don't need a skit at the top of every episode.

So I'm glad we're just diving in.

Unlike this show, where we don't dive in,

where we just talk and talk and talk and promise a recap.

But I have to say, I am liking that we're just getting into the episode properly.

Yeah, you know, I kind of miss the skits, honestly.

I like the Jurassic Park one.

Did everybody just have a tie-in with Jurassic Park?

By the way, I saw Jurassic Park because I was tricked by all the advertising.

It sucked.

Jurassic Park sucks now.

Why do they keep making terrible Jurassic Parks?

It was actually more entertaining on baking show than it was in the real Jurassic Park.

I mean, what the hell?

What is that show?

What is that movie?

How are they still making those?

Make them better.

When they did their Jurassic Park thing and when Noel was like, I'm going to.

like he's like he said something to the effect of i'm going to save us all and then he tapped allison's nose i like literally cracked up and she was cracking up too.

Oh,

so good.

Yeah, you see, that's why I like them.

I think they're good.

Okay, where are my notes?

I had them.

I had them.

We're going to dive.

This is going to be a.

We're going to dive in.

I'll start.

I'll start.

You know, this is a lot.

This is a very dense show.

A lot happens.

This might be a 10-part recap.

It might be 30 minutes.

Who knows?

But a lot happens on this show.

And we have to talk about every little carb.

Every little carb.

Because ultimately, you know, they say recap what you love.

And I love carbs more than anything, especially bread.

I mean, what a way to.

They jump into this.

I fucking love it.

What a bread.

Oh my God.

I'm obsessed with you bread.

I'm obsessed.

Even the worst bread is good bread.

I will eat moldy bread.

I will pull the mold off the bread.

It's a vegetable.

Like, I'll eat it.

Yeah.

It's living.

It's organic.

I texted Ronnie in the middle of the night and I was like, I need monkey bread.

So now it's like, it's this time.

It's bread week.

The bakers face a savory signature, get down with doughnuts in the technical and tackle a sweet bread showstopper who will have reason to celebrate, who will end up feeling flat, and who will actually look at themselves in the mirror the next day and say,

it's time for me to go on a high-protein diet.

Yes.

It's a great British bake-off.

We see everybody coming back to the tent and Poyman, who I think we both love, but has made a few mistakes.

She was shocked that she made it through to week three.

I think

she was right to be.

She's made a few, a few big mistakes.

And she did an incredible showstopper last week.

And so that saved her.

So she's back, baby.

Like Poiman's really good because she fails, but then she does really great things.

And they're like, we can't kick off Poiman.

She's amazing.

And plus, she makes wedding dresses.

Yeah.

Who doesn't?

And then there's Ian.

Ian's very excited.

He's like, yeah, I'm feeling good about week three.

I think my bread is my strength.

If I do well in any week, it'll be this week.

This will be the week where I'll do well.

I'm like, oh, congratulations.

You just cursed yourself.

If there's any time you know you're going to fail, it's going to be the week where you're supposed to be doing the thing that you're really good at.

Like on Project Runway this season, the guy who was like amazing at streetwear, then when they had a streetwear challenge, of course, he flopped and he flopped big time.

Like that's just what happens.

I'm sorry.

You're a very sweet, lovely, small man, but this will be your failure week.

Yeah.

Toby's super excited because Paul Hollywood's going to eat his bread, which sounds kind of sexual, but he's like, oh, I can't believe Paul Hollywood's going to eat my bread.

Which is kind of creepy.

Also, Paulie Hall, Paulie Hollywood, Paul Hollywood has this kind of abusive nature about him where people are so afraid of him that any little thing he does, like, oh my God,

it's Paul Hollywood.

He's eating,

a mean person is eating my bread, not spitting it out.

I have made it.

Like the whole, like, you got a handshake from Paul Hollywood.

You know, anyone else would be like, don't fucking touch me.

I've seen you licking your fingers for three hours straight, sir.

Get your hands away from me.

Yes.

But because he's kind of mean to people, they're like, oh, my God, I'm never washing my hand.

It was a Paul Hollywood handshake.

You know, he scratches his nuts with those things.

I'm sick of like the over-reverence for his handshake because he also gives them out like a little bit too much.

I think this season he actually pulled back, but last season he was giving them out left and right.

And so it doesn't, that doesn't mean anything to me.

And I'm like, why do we act like Prue is just like some slouch?

Like, oh, we don't really care.

Like, it's nice what Prue has to say, but like, it's the Paul Hollywood handshake that matters the most.

No, I think like we should care about Prue more.

I care.

I think that Prue is the one to impress more, more importantly.

She's just a little nicer.

Yeah.

So we go, and also, Prue's nicer, but she also does not hold back.

She'll be like, hello.

I've always wondered what it's going to taste like to have a little jammel.

That's terrible.

I wanted to die.

I honestly will go to bed tonight, hoping that I don't wake up after tasting this.

She's like when she's cutting little things.

It's like, bam, man.

She's like so economical with her distaste.

She'll be be like oh it's a bit of a fright

you're like

that landed so hard like i'll have a nice kaji from her she's like kaji it's too kaji stodgy kaji kaji fandodgi

but i do love when she also praises something and she like sets a scene she's like that you know take that and get some cheese and some wine and That's what I have.

That's what you call a good night.

I'm like, yes, I want to be there with you, Prue.

Yeah, Prue lives her life.

You know, she really lives it up well.

She'll be like, yeah, you know, this is like after I had sex with Mick Jagger in that public restroom and I had a decent muffin on the way out.

It reminds me of that.

You're like, wait, what the hell did you just say?

She just says everything in such a sweet little way, but I know.

She's like,

I did a line off a hooker's ass last time.

I had a baby with this good.

It's like, what?

You little.

Wow.

Mex.

Allison is like, welcome back to the tent bakers for breadwake.

So for your first challenge, the judges would love you to bake a delicious savory monkey bread.

And Loewa's like, yes, you have to, now you have to make your own monkey bread.

You can't just seal some bread off of a monkey and bake that.

And they're all like, ha ha, ha.

And then I'm at home being like, ah.

Or make monkey, or make bread out of a monkey.

That would be terrible, wouldn't it?

That would be dark.

I love it.

Today we'll make a judges bread out of monkeys.

Today.

I'm surprised someone didn't do that.

The judges are looking for a well-flavored pull-apot loaf made with yeasty bread dough.

I love how Allison just like punches you with her, with her, with her syllables.

Bread.

Yeah, Allison's not a quiet person.

Like, I think she's one of those people on the bus whose like phone rings.

Like she never has her ringer off.

And it's like, hey, how you doing?

Good, good.

Yeah, I'm on public right now.

I'm on public.

Go ahead, make it quick.

Don't want to bother anybody.

Hope I'm not bothering you, love.

Hope I'm not bothering you.

It's an important one right right phone bill that's right am i still using that do i still have the watch on the same plan as the phone do i i don't notice this does this look like it's getting closer call again let's see if my watch rings love all right call again you know she's just like she does anywhere she is you're like shut up

and her ringer is super loud and it's always that it's always that like american beauty theme i dink and dink and dink and ding

ding and she's like really loud and you get mad at her but then she does the thing that's so nice she'd be like, and so I talked, I was talking to Susie.

She wasn't, she wasn't answering her phone.

No, she wasn't answering her phone.

I was like, well, I'll answer your phone.

I got,

hold on, you need this seat.

You need to see.

Hold on, love.

One second.

Take my seat.

Take it.

No, don't just take it.

You sit right here.

You sit here.

I'll stand here.

Have a seat.

I'm not pregnant.

You're pregnant.

Have a seat.

Congratulations.

Your first one.

No, it's not a love that for you.

So then you feel shitty because she's actually being like loud, but like way more virtuous than you you are.

Yeah, she's totally nice, but you're just like, shut up.

So yeah, that's her.

And she's like, basically, you can go out with this.

On your monkey marks.

Get sat.

Bank.

So now it's time to make monkey bread.

And so they're all talking about like, you know, monkey bread and stuff like that.

And Prue is talking about, she starts telling us what they're looking for.

She's like, monkey bread is is a round loaf of bread, which is made up of lots of little balls of dough.

And the reason it's called monkey bread is everyone who's a little piece of like a little tiny monkey.

Fun fact, when I was hanging out with Mick Jagger in the 70s, he had a pet monkey and we would throw little balls above the monkey.

That was actually where Monkey in the Middle actually began with me and Mick Jagger.

Fun fact.

And she tells Noel he's like a monkey and he's like, I'm part monkey.

One of those monkeys you see in markets in Indiana Jones.

That kind.

Missed that somehow when you said that.

I saw a video on, like, I don't know, social the other day where monkeys were attacking each other, like gangs of monkeys were attacking each other because the tourists were feeding one group of monkeys.

And I guess the other monkeys heard about it.

So they came to get some food too.

And they're like, oh, hell no.

You better stay the hell away from our turf.

And it's like, dunn, dun-dun-dun-dun-.

And then the monkeys went at it and there was dust flying everywhere.

Monkey bread, you know, it gets violent.

It gets violent.

There's going to be riots.

There's going to be riots caused by this fight.

Yeah, I think so.

So then Paul's now explaining.

He's like, to impress me, you're really going to have to come up with something that's quite unique.

I want it to taste amazing, look amazing, have a real depth of flavor in your mouth.

It's like, oh, shit.

I was going to make something that tasted shitty, but now that he says it has to taste amazing, I think I have to change my game plan.

I'd better get rid of my shallow cheese bread.

He's not going to lay that.

I was going to make you some vanilla shallow bread.

So thanks for the tip.

So he's like, cheese, you know, that's going to be quite strong in this challenge.

Cheese.

And then we cut to Ian and his mullet, and he's got a lot of cheeses laid out.

You know what he doesn't have?

A hair net.

Listen, I don't want that little mullet-headed man.

leaking all over my or shedding all over my food.

Okay.

You're making monkey bread.

You need to get a hair nut on, sir.

Okay.

I'd love your mullet.

Love your gravitas.

You need hair net.

Yeah.

this is monkey this is monkey bread but we don't have to have it look actually like a monkey so let's get the hair out of there this is not mullet bread okay

it's like all right well the final finish should be a celebration of color flavor and a lot of seeds nothing and nothing but seeds which is funny because later on someone has like a lot of seeds and they're like it looks like the bottom of a birdcage i was like well you just asked for a lot of seeds you literally just begged for seeds you know he's like but it needs to look beautiful And above all, it's down to the bake and the proving and proving.

Today, he's all about proving.

Oh my God, he doesn't shut up about proving today.

Like he's out to prove something about proving today.

Everything he says is like, it's all about the proving today.

These aren't proved very well.

I can tell you failed on the proving with this one.

Handshake.

Ah,

not a handshake.

Not a handshake.

It was a wave away.

It was a bad prover wave away.

Get away from me, you disgusting non-proving loser.

I would shake a hand, but it doesn't look like a hand has proved enough.

So he was talking about proving is the one thing that makes or breaks this particular challenge.

I'm like, it makes, that's what you, it's every season with the bread week, it's always proving.

He's like, get that wrong in any way, or you under-prove or under bake, it's going to be a problem.

It's like, okay, relax.

And listen, you don't want to under-prove.

All right.

We call that man Rod Stewart.

All right.

Now get to it.

Like, oh, that was a good one.

Oh, God.

That's a good memory.

Unfortunately, we didn't have phone cameras back then.

All All right, Prue, keep it in your pants.

Well, I said to Rod, I said, if you think I'm sexy and you want my body, come on, baby, let me go.

And then he just turned that into a song.

And that was me.

So now

the judges and hosts go over to check.

You know, it's like they're checking on progress thing.

So they go over to Ian Mullet first

and tell us about your monkey bread, bra.

And he's like, mine is going to be modeled after an Irish cheese board because you said cheese, right?

So I've got three lovely Irish cheeses.

And seeds?

Do you want seeds?

I got cheese.

I got seeds.

I got seeds too.

I'm just seeds.

I'm going to do anything you want.

Just don't ask me to put on air net.

I won't do it.

All right.

Very nice.

Well,

this is sort of your week, right?

This is the bread, bread.

Bread's your thing, right?

I'm not trying to get into your head or make you fail, fail at the thing that you do so well, but you are going to nail this one.

You're the one to beat.

You're going to make the best bread all week long.

You're going to make a great bread for this challenge and then also for the technical and also for the showstopper, right?

Right, Little Mullet Man?

And he's like, yeah, my girlfriend actually told me to practice it more because she wanted to eat it more.

She really

focused on me eating her bread.

Paul's like, oh, because she was hungry.

Which I didn't really get.

But they all laughed.

So then we see the bread he's making.

One of my favorite things about this show is the carb artwork.

I mean, it's always stunning.

They have these beautiful, like, drawn drawn painting thing drawing I don't know what you call them drawings paintings like drawings I think sketches drawings they're painted as well so I don't know what you would call that mix but they're so gorgeous and a listener who is so amazing made Ben and I when we recap capties back in the day made us

one of their showstopper challenges was making

the head what was it called it was like the head challenge or something you had

that was a disaster yeah you had to make the head of was like a it was a bust like a somebody that you liked or whatever a bust cake bust and so she drew us our own great british bake-off art of our heads as cakes which were so amazing it's in my it's in my studio in texas so next time i've got a look for it it's always in the background i love it

should i try to rotate should i try to rotate so you can see it no you're not gonna be able to see it i'm sorry everyone But it's back there.

It's right over my shoulder.

It's so cool.

So, yeah, anytime I see these, I'm just like, wow.

And this one is is no exception they're all so good so this is ian's iris cheeseboard monkey bread it's gonna have apples in there crepes it looks like um twirly french fries with curries

roasted pear i don't know the apple and the pear i could do without i think but that's just so then allison starts asking ian questions about it she's like so when did you meet this girl then i love talking love he's like he's like all right was first first week of freshers in uni she's like that week yeah first week in the wee bar and um we were both sitting down and we were both like do you want to get a drink and we were both like sweet let's get a drink and then i stood up and i finished here and then she stood up and she kept on going she finished all the way up there she was like she's like oh so she towers over you she's like yeah and how does she mind having a little man which is so funny does she mind having a wee little man that she can put in the pocket

i'm a short king i'm a short king it's like i love a short kingdom love a short king so now we're looking it's like, I'm a short king.

You're so cute.

I'm a short king.

Look at me with my little monet, a short monet king.

Yeah, because she's a big tall woman, too.

You know, this Allison.

So she's like, how's that working out for her?

All right, might take a check, might take a page out of her book, eh, love?

Yeah, short king.

All right, give me a ride then.

He's like, okay, back away.

Back away from my table.

So they go up to Aaron now.

Which one is Aaron?

He's the one who

is

sweater game.

He's the one.

Trembly.

Yeah, he's the one.

He's the king of hobbies.

You know, he's the one learning French.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So he's always about to cry.

This because he's like, I don't know if I'm good enough.

I don't know if I'm good enough to be here.

And then he makes something amazing.

And then he cries.

He's like, oh, I made something amazing.

I'm like,

he's making a bread that has yeast extract, which was funny.

They're not allowed to say Marmite, I guess, because that's what it was.

And that's obviously what the bottle was, but they had to like put a blank label on it.

And then allison is like well while aaron is pinning his hopes on a love it or hated ingredient whose brand name we cannot mention but we hope that you understand what it is jessica is taking her inspiration from her favorite of fresco flavors

it's time for a commercial it's time for a crappin' commercial

Feeling better in your body shouldn't be a full-time job.

That's why hers makes it easier to get started and stick with it, backed by expert-guided online care that puts your weight loss goals first.

HERS is transforming women's healthcare by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans.

They connect you with a medical provider who will work with you to determine the best treatment option for you.

This isn't cookie cutter care that forgets you in the waiting room.

It's your health and goals put first with real medical providers making sure you get what you need.

to get results, all from the comfort of your couch.

So if you've been struggling with your weight loss journey, it's time you find the best option that works for you through HERS.

Whether you want to lose weight, grow thicker, fuller hair, or find relief for anxiety, HERS has you covered.

Visit forHERS.com slash crap ins to get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you.

That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com slash crap ins forhers.com slash crap ins weight loss by HERS is not available everywhere.

Compounded products are not approved or reviewed for safety, effectiveness, or quality by the FDA.

Prescription required.

See website for full details.

Important safety information and restrictions.

Actual price depends on product and plan purchase.

The other day, I ordered from Wayfair this really cool little side table for here in this office.

So that way, if I ever needed my laptop, I could put my laptop on it right next to my desk set up, which was really cool.

But what I've since found is that this cute little table works really well as almost like a TV table.

I can bring it upstairs.

I can put a drink on it while I watch TV.

Or if I'm watching a game, because you know, I am a sports gay.

I enjoy my football, I can have my little snacks right there while I recline on the sofa.

I just love my cute little table, I really do.

Yeah, and when you think of game day, you might not think Wayfair, but you should, because Wayfair is the best-kept secret for incredible and affordable game day finds.

Yeah, Ronnie, you're totally right.

For instance, like aside from my cute, adorable little table, there's like plenty of outdoor telegraphing things like coolers and grills and folding chairs and patio heaters, things like that.

Recliners, TV stands, coffee tables, entertainment centers, serveware, bakeware, entertainment cookware, like slow cookers.

They've got everything that you need for game day.

Wayfair is your trusted destination for all things game day, from coolers and grills to recliners and slow cookers.

Shop, save, and score

today at Wayfair.com.

That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com.

Wayfair, every style, every home.

Okay, so Jessica's picnic season monkey bread.

This one is intense.

Walnuts and blue cheese.

You know, you're never going to go wrong with that for me.

Okay.

Walnuts, creamy blue cheese, and succulent figs.

So that sounds damn good.

And Jessica is, let's see, what do they say?

He says, you've got a lot of liquid in yours.

And she just stares at him like, is that bad?

And Malison's like, don't let him suck you out, love.

That's what he tries to do.

You put as much liquids in your bread as you want to.

Old Hollywood, liquid hater.

Come on.

Love, what are you doing there?

Why are you waving your hips?

It's like, sorry, sometimes I just step into my all of a clothes-off alter ego.

Apologies, I'll get back to Jessica.

My drag queen alter ego, all of her clothes-off.

Now we go to Nadia, whose thing is like dancing in the kitchen.

So she's dancing.

She's like, I dance.

And she's kneading her bread.

Then we see Leslie kneading the bread, and she's building up gluten strands.

And that's the kind of building we need in this country.

You know what?

I think so much could be healed with just more building of gluten strands in communes yes yeah so now prue goes over to jasmine um and jasmine is going to be doing like an olive and rosemary one but then also do ya and uh basil which sounds fantastic and uh no's like jasmine's spicy sausage and basing filly will be rolled into swirls and paddled with dough bars filled with calamata olives and rosemary then afterwards she's gonna go jogging with the friends again because that's apparently all she ever does.

And Paul's like, have you ever tried olive and coriander?

She's like, no, should I?

He's like, well, yeah, it's very Cypriot Greek.

So, yeah.

Okay.

Well, thanks for dropping that, Paul.

Okay.

Thanks.

Can you just appreciate everything she's putting into this bread?

It's a lot going on here.

Okay.

We don't need you like walking around telling everybody already how they failed.

He's like, you've got too much liquid.

You don't have enough coriander.

You didn't even think of coriander.

Like, for Christ's sake, man, let them make their bread.

We don't need your whataboutism.

If she says she's making olive and rosemary, you don't have to come in and say, what about olive and coriander?

Yeah, but wanted to do olive and coriander.

She'd do olive and coriander.

This isn't Gwyneth Paltrow and Sliding Doors.

You're like,

have you ever thought, what if I chose a different path?

Yes.

And you know what?

They're both fucking Gwyneth at the end of the day.

So just shut up and eat your slice of Gwyneth.

He was just bragging.

He's just bragging that he knows what Cypriot bread tastes like.

He's like, oh, I know what Cypriot Greek bread tastes like.

Well, congratulations.

This is olive and rosemary okay that's gonna be delicious get over it while jasmine is sticking to tried and tested med tranian poyman is going for a more exotic ingredient um

she's over there cooking with wedding dress scraps she's like this one was a real brightzilla

so she's got morning glory And Alice's like, what's morning glory?

And Poimman says it's a Chinese vegetable.

And Paul's like, well, it's a bit limp.

And then they all start giggling.

He's like, what?

And Prue's like, stop that.

Stop that.

It's funny, a bit limp is what I told Rod Stewart

after he tried to do me.

After he sang Maggie Mae once.

It's not a good story, but it's relevant to the moment.

She's making festival basin monkey bread with coriander red.

Red beans?

Is that what she's saying?

Yeah.

Red beans, ginger, curd, pesto.

so this one sounds crazy and it has like big flowery things coming off of the top which is yeah so she's got a lot of different

it looks really cool but she's got a lot of she's got a lot of ball aspirations because again they all have to make these balls that they're going to be putting into a bunt pan which i also want to do this because i bought like three different bunt pans i was like these are all so cool i'm just going to make lots of fun button cakes and they'll just be so fun and that'll be like my thing and then i like never make bunt cakes i have these bunt pans so i think i'm going to make a monkey bread in my cool bunt pans.

Just so you know, just letting everyone know.

I would love to make a monkey bread.

It looks hard, though.

It looks really, really hard.

I don't know if this is something I should start on.

I've never.

Pardon me, guys.

So disgusting.

I'm so sorry.

No, I'm just laughing because you, you, like, you had like a gasp.

You're like, I've never.

It seemed like.

Normally I would mute or something, but that one just came on so quick.

It was a fast one.

Yeah, I see that coming on.

But

yeah, I'm not really, I haven't proven myself, no pun intended, in the bread

genre.

And I don't, I just, I don't know, I don't know that I have the confidence to make it.

But after seeing all of these, I just want bread filled with shit.

You know, how do you make sure it's all cooked evenly and stuff?

Like, how is it not all goopy on the inside?

Just cook it, man.

I don't know, but I have to say, well, that's why you're doing it in a bunt pan, maybe, because the bunt pan will.

you know, there's a lot of surface area for the heat to come into.

But

I looked up some monkey bread recipes last night.

A lot of them are actually like a cinnamon roll type like i wonder if that's like a classic monkey bread maybe almost like a cinnamon bun and

cheesy and garlicky i want kind of like a caramelized like a cheesy garlic mat type thing i want like a caramelized onion garlicky thing with like lots of like everything bagel seasoning that's what i would love just like Don't you love like a caramelized onion, like a focaccia with caramelized onions sort of in it or on it?

I love caramelized onions with anything.

Yes.

Like starving right now.

I'm getting there now that we're talking about this damn show.

Let me just calm myself down now from this monkey bread talk.

Okay, so she is going to be making this with like morning glory and everything.

And Paul's like, this is off Paul because she's like, oh, do you like milk bread?

I hope you like it too because it's not in your recipe book.

And why not, Paul?

And he's like,

it is actually.

And she's like, oh, sorry.

So that was was a huge fail

because

you know yeah don't know where she got down to factoid some pa probably set her up with that like god paul doesn't even have a milkbread in this thing she's like i'm gonna repeat that get paul and it failed i wonder if it's a lie i almost want to look up his his cookbook and see if he has milk bread in there because part of me feels let's look it up i'm gonna look up right now i've got a service hollywood milk bread i'm looking up i have a thing called eat your books milk loaf from how to bake by Paul Hollywood.

Yep, it's in there.

Well, you know what?

Stop yelling.

Stop yelling.

And on Reddit, there's something called Bread It, which I like.

I would subscribe to that.

I'm going to subscribe to that.

Paul Hollywood's milk loaf bread.

Let's see what people say about it.

It doesn't look that impressive, but I think it's because it's a homemade thing.

It's soft and dense, but there's no moisture in it.

Maybe more like a brioche.

It was really good.

His recipes are great.

That's what they said.

Milk loaf.

Wow.

Is it like a milk?

Is this

bread?

is someone says this bread is a revelation.

Is this like a milk bread the way like an Asian milk bread or is it just a bread that's like made with milk?

And is there a difference?

That's what I'm saying.

I don't know because the recipe is not actually in here.

You want me to look at it?

Because there's Country Skill blog.

Country Skills for Modern Life says, this bread, I have to tell you, is a revelation, a genuine flavor of my continental childhood.

The first taste was one of those Madeline moments where time peels away and you're no more than five or six years old again, standing in your childhood kitchen with a slice of bread and butter in your hand, heaven,

or like this morning in my house.

I mean, what the hell?

You know, it's one of those recipe blogs where they're like, oh my god, I died.

This takes me back to the time where I was five or six and I first saw daddy come home with a bowling ball.

It's like, what does this have to do?

Tell me how to make the bread.

Well, I just don't know if, like, if his is just a

bread with milk versus

milk bread, which is like a Japanese type of bread.

And that's what I don't know.

Okay.

Flour, butter, sugar, skim milk,

instant yeast, salt, olive oil, and extra milk.

You know what?

For a milk wash before baking.

That's it.

It's bread with some milk in it.

That's it.

Well,

but it doesn't look soft like the one you're talking about.

So I think that's.

I think his is just a bread that has milk in it.

Yeah.

I mean, it's also pretty standard milk.

I'm getting angry.

I'm getting angry now.

I'm getting angry because he made Poinman feel bad.

And I'm like,

is his the Japanese milk bread or is it just a bread that's milky?

Okay, well, now I'm going to look up Japanese milk bread.

Japanese milk bread.

Let's see if it looks the same.

Japanese milk bread has a whole look.

Oh, that's not the same thing.

No, that's like very soft.

It's like kind of got like a brioche

or

a Hawaiian roll or whatever, like buttery, fluffy top.

Yeah, this is a different bread.

That's what she meant, Paul.

That's what she meant, Paul.

You ignorant milk, you milkbreadists.

Yeah, I didn't even realize that he was being problematic there.

I'm glad you brought it up.

It's actually a little bit problematic.

It is.

Yeah, he's like, how dare you?

You don't, he's like, you, I do make milk bread.

It's like, no, Paul, she's talking about the real milkbread, not your dense ass country shit.

Okay.

Wait, wait, wait.

Uh-oh.

Wait.

Oh, God.

I'm glad you looked it up so I can just apologize now and not have to apologize later.

The Great British Bake Off Favorite Flavors.

I'm sorry, that is a cookbook, page 250, Japanese milkbread.

But is it by Paul?

It is.

It's credited to Paul and Prue.

Oh, okay.

Because

his other milkbread recipe was just regular.

Okay, so you know what?

I apologize, Paul.

I'm the problematic one.

And I can admit one.

To be fair, wait, but to be fair, that was in the Great British British Bake Off cookbook.

It was not in Paul Hollywood.

Paul Hollywood has milk loaf, not chapter.

You're right.

That was different.

Okay.

You know what?

So

you know what?

Like, okay.

Fuck you Paul because I received an apology.

It was not inherently in your tone.

It was more like you got credit in the Great British Bake Off and they probably just slapped your name on it.

Let's be honest.

This is like one of those shows where I know 90% not of what I speak.

And so I'm just going to go off and start yelling at people and then find out later that I was completely wrong about everything that I said.

And you know what?

I've just, it's something I've learned to accept over the years.

So anyone who's hitting their steering wheel right now and calling me horrible names, you're right.

Okay.

Enjoy it.

Enjoy it.

I have to say it's Rosh Hashanah today, and I love starting off the new year by taking this dance on Paul Hollywood that he was mixing up his milkbreads.

Yeah.

Do better in the new Jewish year, Paul.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

So now Noel is telling us, you know, the judges are expecting of flavors that pack a punch.

And now we go over to Natalia,

who's super into bacon, guys.

She loves bacon.

And she's like, bacon, it's so delicious.

And she's really into it.

So we see her.

She loves it.

Yeah.

She just loves bacon.

I don't know.

I don't want bacon in my bread, but I'm, you know, I don't eat bacon.

No, I'm okay with it.

Then we go to Tom, who is our very, our resident, very serious anal gay.

He's our, he's our hot anal gay.

And he's like, so today we're calling it a French degustation because it sounds fancy, I know, but really, it's just some very simple French flavors: croque monsieur inside one, French onion soup inside another, steak and peppercorns in the final one.

Okay, Tom, relax.

This guy being like, it's just simple flavors, just a steak and peppercorn and croque monsieur.

I mean, they are kind of simple, but like, that's this

ain't French until you put freedom fries in there.

That's what I say.

Until I see Gerard Jepardu's sweat glazed on top of your monkey bread, it ain't French.

Okay.

But I like it because the drawing has little croissants all over it.

You know?

Yeah.

He's like, dope for you.

Forget croissants.

I love croissants, even though there's nothing croissanty about it, but he's not going to let me forget that croissants are amazing.

So is he putting French onion soup on the inside?

I guess he's just putting in a bunch of caramelas, like probably like brandy-soaked onions.

Well, from the picture, it looks like he's doing caramelized, like balsamic onions or something, and as a filling.

And then he's got like a dip thing in the middle that you dip it into.

Sounds actually amazing.

Delicious.

We need to.

Sounds exactly what I want.

I actually have plans this afternoon, and I might cancel them because I'm.

I am literally.

I'm considering making a monkey bread.

I'm not even joking.

I want monkey bread.

Let's do it.

All right, let's just pick one and let's have a monkey bread.

I have a cookbook.

Actually, it's a, I'm so excited because I have a cookbook that I picked up.

I ate it for like a year and a half, maybe two years.

I finally bought it and I still have yet to cook from it.

It's called Savory Baking because I just love the idea of that.

I love savory bakes.

And she has like a few different monkey breads in it.

And today may be the day that I finally cook from savory baking because this is, I cannot look at these drawings of monkey bread any longer.

And there's still so much more bread on this episode, but really it was about the monkey bread.

The monkey bread, you guys.

I actually rarely say, I rarely care about the star baking thing.

It's usually some over-the-top thing that's like not like a realistic bread that I would have on my day-to-day life.

But it's always, I think it's this, the signature bake.

That's the one that I really like because it's like, I could see this being served to me and eating it, you know?

Yeah.

Well, you know, let's do it today.

That's going to be the rest of our day after this.

Monkey bread off.

Monkey bread, it is, baby.

So

let's see.

They don't want

too much moisture in there.

I love our listeners having to be subjected to our real-time descent into monkey bread madness.

But that's what these shows do, right?

Like Project Runway, you start sewing something.

Top chef is on, we start cooking things.

And now I'm like, it's time to do some baking.

I mean, some of this stuff just is too incredible.

Also, I would love to be one of those people who's like a cake gay, you know, who's like, oh, there's Ronnie.

Like my friend Zabeth is a really good baker and she does,

she's actually really good at bread too.

I'll never forget a fucking bread, a sourdough she made once.

It was incredible.

I just couldn't believe someone could do that at home.

And she's a cake gay.

Like she brings cakes to people and it's just such a beautiful, like she, it was just such a beautiful thing to do.

And everybody, I mean, Zabeth is also a really good person and really funny.

So people remember remember her for like her talent, but

really, it's all about the bread.

Like at her, like if she passes before me, I mean, I think I'll skip everything about what a good friend she is and just go straight to the cakes.

Because wow, you only have a limited time in a funeral.

And I think I'm going to remind people, like

a tight, you got to do a tight, tight five, not even type five, tight two.

I literally just killed my friend in a recap for no reason.

Sorry, Zabeth, but I love your cakes.

Okay, so let's go over to Nadia.

The judges go over to her.

Nadia's monkey bread is

from Calabria, where her dad is from, and there's sun-dried tomato and black olive, and she's foraged some wild garlic.

Which is pretty cool because that means, I guess, I'm assuming this was filmed in the spring because that's when you were going to get your like green garlic and wild garlic.

I mean, that's to have to go through the FDA first.

I'm not going to have your hand-picked poop-grown crap.

But the FDA in Britain is called the Food and Darcy Administration.

It's like, we discuss food and Mr.

Darcy.

Should he have really gotten with her?

I'm not sure.

The Fashion Donuts Association.

So let's see.

The gay donut child.

I love the vision for this monkey bread because it's just filled with garlic and pasteau, just everything and olives, everything that I could ever dream of.

And I also love how she says, she says garlic

in this way.

She goes, garlic, garlic, garlic.

She keeps saying, Yeah, she's like, she does.

She's like, Make it some garlic.

I'm like, okay, all right.

We'll have some garlic and let's hold back on the spit.

Yeah, she has that in her accent.

I like it though.

Um, so uh, Paul's like, you nicked that from a field, did you?

And she goes, Yeah, an otter's pool right by mine.

It's good.

And he's like, Yeah, now I know where it is.

I'm going to go steal your garlic.

So, uh,

just as a recap,

I just want as a recap, the garlic that you're eating is from a place called Otter's Pool.

So just know that's what's going in your mouth is some Otter's Pool garlic.

I thought Otter was swimming in this.

Another thing I really like about this show is all the prep that goes into it.

Because not only do we get this artwork that somebody, I mean, there's probably a whole team that does this artwork, but they actually practice all these recipes.

Like they know what they're going to have to make and they are given time at home to actually make it.

It's like getting picked to go to Fashion Week before you even know you're going to be on Project Runway.

You know, they're like, here's everybody, do your thing before you go.

So they've already practiced all these recipes, and that's why they can be so intricate and delicious.

Yeah.

I just heard a thump outside, but a good thump, the thump of something arriving at my doorstep.

And I'm going to have Dom bring it in because I've honestly.

I was going to say, I hope Zabeth didn't just fall off your roof because I just killed her.

Let's recap.

I brought you a cake.

Oh, no.

Did someone mention my cake?

So what do you think it is?

What was delivered to you?

I know what it is.

And I want to open it up here on the thing, but I'm hoping that Dom can just bring it in so that way I don't have to step away.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

It's related to what we're talking about.

I love a packaging.

unopening.

Okay, so now let's see.

Nadia talks about her bread.

The picture is gorgeous.

Italian monkey bread, pesto black olive, garlic.

And then she said they all stink of garlic in her family.

And then we go over to Toby.

And by the way, and I don't doubt it because the amount of wild garlic she poured on this thing was, it was so aggressive that I thought for sure Paul was going to have a fit later on, you know, because he's got delicate taste for his garlic.

Well, I'm a garlic.

I'm a garlic man.

Lebanese people, we love that shit too.

I mean, it's in everything.

You had dinner at my house the other day.

Did you wake up garlic infested?

Did you smell yourself?

No, I was fine.

Really?

Well, because I'm like, I'm a garlic.

I'm a garlic monster.

Like, I feel bad for people who are around me.

It probably comes out of my pores, but you know what?

Sorry.

Sorry.

So let's go.

I'm a garlic brat.

To Toby.

Toby is making a pesto for his, and a couple of people are making pestos today.

Love a pesto.

And he is trying.

I don't know.

He's kind of boring.

His pesto, we already know, sucks because because we just saw nadia pour an entire foraged fields worth of wild garlic onto hers and his is like he put like a few like two cloves of garlic into a food processor i'm like you know you're not gonna you're not gonna hold

she's a real italian first of all and you're not your pastel is just not gonna is not gonna match up i'm sorry it just won't yeah well also his pick in this picture his bunt is very ridged he's using like a very ridged thing and it's very i don't know straight and narrow when all the other ones look like like big balls full of stuff, his just doesn't really look like that.

I need big balls full of things, Toby.

His, this is a deep cut, a specific cut, but his bunt pan looks like the haircut of that lady Diane who was on British Traders.

Remember her?

Who had the son?

Yes.

So, to those people who have also watched that, you'll get my reference.

Oh, God.

That was a good show.

That was a good season.

That was so good.

So,

Toby's Ode to Italy will be a Parmesan-topped monkey bread with porcini mushroom-flavored dough balls

and knots filled with this tried and tested green pesto and red pesto.

So he's like, Well, right after that, he goes, I've never actually made red pesto before, you know.

Okay, well, is it tried and true or not, or is only the green tried and true?

And you're just gonna wing it with the red.

What's in red pesto anyway?

Blood,

fairy donut child boy

commercials.

Here comes one right now.

I have to say, Ronnie, I love what we do.

Like being a podcaster is so wonderful, but there are times when there is just a lot that is on our plate.

And it's in those moments where I often am reaching for therapy to help me through because the anxiety and the stress can really build up.

And therapy gives me the tools to really kind of navigate those situations.

Finding a therapist is hard enough, but finding one that actually takes your insurance, that's where most online therapy platforms fall short.

Many don't work with insurance at all, which means you're stuck paying the full cost out of pocket or paying for an expensive monthly subscription.

So Rula does things differently.

They partner with over 100 insurance plans and making the average copay just $15 per session.

And so that's like real therapy from licensed professionals at a price that actually makes sense.

If you think about it, you use your insurance benefits to maintain your physical health.

So, why wouldn't you do the same for your mental health?

Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that's actually covered by insurance.

Visit rula.com/slash craps to get started.

After you sign up, you'll be asked how you heard about them.

Please support our show and let them know we sent you.

That's r-u-l-a.com/slash crappins.

You deserve mental health care that works with you, not against your budget.

Cooler temps are rolling in, and as always, Quince is where I'm turning turning for false staples that actually last.

From cashmere to denim to boots, the quality holds up and the price still blows me away.

Quince has the kind of falst staples you'll wear non-stop, like super soft, 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters starting at just $60.

Their denim is durable and fits right and their real leather jackets bring that clean, classic edge without the elevated price tag.

What makes Quince different?

They partner directly with ethical factories and skip the middlemen, so you get top-tier fabrics and craftsmanship at half the price of similar brands.

So Ronnie, you just got something from Quince, didn't you?

Didn't something just arrive?

It is a gorge.

Speaking of cashmere, I just got a cashmere hoodie from them.

It's like an oatmeal color.

It is so beautiful.

Like I'm almost afraid to wear it because I don't want to mess it up.

It's one of the nicest things in my wardrobe.

So when I need to class it up this fall, you will be seeing me in this hoodie.

Well, you know what, Ronnie?

Keep it classic and cool this fall with long-lasting staples from Quince.

Go to quince.com slash crap ins for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.

That's q-u-i-n-ce-e dot com slash crap-ins.

Free shipping and 365-day returns.

Quince.com slash crap-ins.

Red pesto.

Well, as we all know, red pesto is

it's just strawberries.

You know, strawberry jam.

It's British.

Jams and jellies and everything.

It's a jams.

It's It's a Sicilian style sauce made primarily from sun-dried tomatoes, nuts, and garlic.

Oh.

Oh, I have had that, actually.

I have had that.

Guys, guess what?

I've had it.

I've had it.

You can all be impressed.

I've had it.

I will be making that as well.

Sun-dried tomatoes, nuts, and garlic.

What kind of nuts?

Let's see.

Probably.

Okay, well, while you wait, we're going to look that up.

Wait, give me 10 seconds.

The door is just on the other side of this.

Give me just 10 seconds.

Okay, you do it on it.

I'm going to look at it.

So I just looked up a red pesto sauce.

Let's see what story comes with this one.

In my years of cooking as a habits expert, I've learned that a good sauce can completely transform a meal.

Okay, an ad just popped up.

And sauces do not need to be complicated in order to be good.

I have a few sauces that I fall back on all the time.

This is a three ingredient.

Whoa, that's crazy.

Pesto Rosso or red pesto sauce is a delightful

Sicilian-inspired sauce.

You know, I'm actually disappointed that this one doesn't come with a story.

Like when I was a child, I first stumbled upon red pesto.

This one actually is just telling you about the pesto.

And now I resent this person for not telling me a story.

Like, you're not going to fucking win, you know?

First of all, update.

I hurt my toe in the process of doing this.

I'm opening this up because.

It's almonds you put in there.

That's what they use.

Almonds into the red pesto?

Yeah.

Red pesto, almonds, garlic, olive olive oil.

This looks amazing.

I'm doing an unboxing, a live unboxing party as well.

Basil and rosemary.

I received two cookbooks.

The new Sameene Noserak cookbook.

Good things.

Good things.

Pretty cookbook.

Salt-fat, acid, heat.

And I'm wondering, do you think she has

bread recipes in here?

She must.

Ooh, let's have

a milk bread off.

See, she has a milkbread.

She must.

She's a real bread person.

Okay.

Yeasted breads and waffles.

She has an entire chap.

I love that she has an entire chapter dedicated to both breads and waffles.

Okay.

Three seconds.

Yeah, I'm into that.

Mm-hmm.

That's great, by the way.

If you guys haven't watched salt, fat, acid, heat on Netflix, great, great documentary.

Check it out.

Food documentary.

Yeah, God.

You know, I will,

I will skim through this while we recap because we don't have to sit here and watch me turn every single page in this book.

Okay.

Do you think she has a monkey bread recipe, though?

What was the other one?

The other one is a Thai cookbook.

Or are you only showing one thing?

Now we're going to wonder what's in the box.

I'm going to be like, what was the other thing in the box?

I'm only showing one thing because I'm deranged right now.

It's a Thai cookbook called Lana.

Oh, nice.

God, your cookbook collection is.

I have to stop.

It's huge.

I have to stop.

I've decided that I'm going to start making videos where I review cookbooks.

That's what I've decided every day.

That's what you should do.

You definitely should do that.

And maybe use that chair right back there.

yeah you should totally do it yeah and it motivates me to actually cook from the cookbooks because i feel like you should probably have like five you should have cooked five things from from a cookbook before you can speak authoritatively about it right

i think so yeah sure sure that sounds good I just look stuff up on the internet.

That's my cookbook.

And then I memorize it and then I cook it wrong every time going forward.

I never get anything tasting exactly the same.

So anyway, okay.

So Natalia is doing her family table monkey bread.

okay?

And it's going to be stuffed with cheese, bacon, onions, and

guys, there are nod to big Ukrainian Terran shared loaves.

Okay.

Okay.

Just was no monkey bread.

No monkey bread or

milk bread in Sami Nose Rad's new book.

So

really bursting a bubble there.

Yeah.

No debate today then.

Guess that's over.

All right, everybody.

Thanks for coming to the show.

Okay, Ukrainian Terran and share.

Well, no, this is not Terran Share.

This is monkey bread.

There apparently is a difference between tear and share and monkey bread, by the way.

That comes off later.

Okay.

I mean, I wouldn't know the difference, but this is also technically a share, a bread that you tear and share.

So I don't know.

So

she makes this every Sunday, and it reminds her of the Ukraine, guys.

And so Noel's like, there's still quite a bit of emotion in your bread.

I love, I love you in your bread.

I love

depression in bread.

I'd love, what a delicious ingredient in bread.

You know what's good in bread?

Loss.

God, I love it.

Taste, taste, I love an emotional monkey bread.

I love misery bread.

Misery bread.

Delicious.

So then we,

now they go up to Leslie.

Leslie's the, she's the Gran, right?

She's the one that you love.

I believe it's.

I hope you like her.

She's not a cushy.

she's mabel

oh that's mabel yeah yeah look what happened she's like everything i do i do for mabel look what happened to mabel

she has the jerry herman song as a as a daughter like how do i not love this woman because okay she loves mabel um so she's making a stilton pear and walnut monkey bread which sounds nice um although just not as exciting to me as all that garlic stuff that was going on with other people and uh leslie is like, so I'm going to

chop the pears up and I'm going to mix it in with the Stilton.

And Paul's like, how much Stilton?

He's like, I think 120 grams.

It's like, oh, 120 grams, not a lot.

She's like, you think it should be more?

He just shrugs.

Paul, you obviously think there should be more.

You just said it's not a lot.

So just say it.

Just say, put in a little bit more.

Yeah, because he'll be telling you in about 20 minutes that wasn't enough.

So now everyone's looking at their bread, checking up, you know, now the bread has doubled in size.

Now we can shake the dough balls, guys.

So let's ensure the monkey bread is bursting with miserable flavor.

So we watch everybody fill their bread up.

Should we just go to

the judging?

Yeah, let's go.

We're going to be here for a few minutes.

We have

challenges left.

I already...

stopped in the middle of this recap to go fetch an Amazon box.

So they're doing the normal thing.

Well, we can give a high-level thing of what's some of the issues that are happening.

One thing is that Nadia and Poiman, their balls took a long time to

finish up.

So theirs

had less time to prove and less time in the oven.

And it became a drama.

And then at one point, one of my favorite parts was when they are removing their monkey breads from their bunt.

their bunt pans, like the narrator at some point, one of them says, if like if you

the bakers must release their monkey balls carefully and delicately from their pans that way nothing breaks apart and it just cuts to Nadia being like

shaking it like crazy.

It's like, oh no, and then the balls go flying everywhere.

Toby and Aaron do not have proved bread, so they're worried.

Poimans is

looking better than it did at home.

So that's good.

And Toby's like, something is going to to have to be sacrificed, unfortunately.

I've chosen my boyfriend.

I've chosen my boyfriend.

Toby's straight.

No, Toby's a straight as well.

You're right.

Toby's a straight one.

Yeah, Toby's a straight one.

Yeah.

So I'm going to, I'm going to

sacrifice.

I will, I'll sacrifice the, I'll sacrifice the insecure gay guy's boyfriend.

How's that?

So, yeah, but his is, yeah, his is not rising, which is crazy.

It's just a

30 minutes left.

30 minutes left and so you know everybody's running around and on this show running around means literally staring into the oven going oh my god please work please work please work

yeah like one person's totally losing their mind which in british means oh heavens so that was it so then now we now it's time for the judges to judge so they go to ian first that we see his irish cheeseboard monkey bread which kind of looks like a big orange brain with seeds on it if you if you really think about it.

Yes, I'm looking at that.

This one looks crazy.

Irish cheeseboard monkey bread.

This looks crazy.

It looks like

a mangled person with bad skin.

Hold on here.

Can we show it on the,

we should show it on the thing so people can see what I'm talking about.

It looks, it's, it's disturbing looking, I have to say.

It looks like a brain, maybe, like a brain with bad skin or like a brain with some kind of disease.

Here, I'll put it up here.

Share screen.

Um, give me the window, baby.

Give me this window.

Okay.

Come on, we got to share this Irish cheese board.

There it is.

Oh,

there it is.

Yeah.

Um, that doesn't look great.

Um, Ian's, yeah, so that's Ian's.

Okay, so Paul loves the setup.

The bake looks great, strong color.

You can see individual bowls, which is great.

And uh,

one has

those bowls.

I love indie bowls.

Indie bowls are where it's at.

So there's blue cheese and pear and fennel.

And in another one, there's a harder cheese and it has apple and caramelized onion.

And for the last, there's a brief style with blackberry and rosemary.

Now, he likes it because Prue likes it.

Paul says it's superb.

He loves the nuts in there.

Okay.

Well, the nuts.

You know what?

Pear and blue cheese go together.

And that's just a fact.

I love your bowls.

Well, there are nuts in there too.

I was like, Paul, you have have to listen to these words as they come out.

You know what?

I'm also getting sick of.

I'm sick of Paul.

That when he, oh, actually, I'm sorry, this is that's for later.

I'm gonna pause.

I'm gonna, this, this, this complaint, I'm gonna save for later at the Starbreaker challenge, but he likes it, it does well.

And we think that Ian is on a good path because Ian is a bread guy, and so we're like, oh, he's living up to it.

So now that we move to Leslie's monkey bread,

and uh, it's Leslie's family favorite, F-A-V-O-U-R-I-T-E

monkey bread

and um pru's like well i think that looks really appetizing it's interesting that you've used so many seeds who asked for so many seeds certainly there wasn't anyone here who asked for lots of seeds it's crazy where'd you get that mandate from it's like the bottom of a birdcage in it yeah bird brain you're the one who made her do it you guys are gaslighters

Also, what sort of inefficient birds are you keeping around that they don't eat all their little seeds?

The birds love the seeds, seeds, right?

Yeah, take your birds off weight loss meds if that's your bird cage.

Okay.

Um, and Leslie kind of gives him one of her murderous looks.

And she's like, Okay, well, I've got a pear, Stilton walnut monkey bread.

I can't wait to talk about how fat you've gotten in my hair salon.

And

Prue likes it.

Paul really loves the flavor of the pear, but the Stilton is lacking.

Okay.

You needed a bit more Stilton in there, which is why I said, did you mean to lose 100 grams of Stilton?

Pretty much.

That's exactly what he did.

Now we go to Tom, the very serious, anil Danish gay.

And he's the one who made the French Dégostion monkey bread, which it seems to be served with some sort of hollandaise or an aoli or whatever.

It looks good.

You know, it's interesting because

they ding someone, I think Poi Man later, for not glazing her monkey bread.

And here, his does not look very glazed.

I just want to point that out.

But he has made lots of miniature croissants.

We were like, what do the croissants have to do with anything in the drawing?

But there's actually, it's like a scattering of croissants.

It's like a very fancy bird's cage.

It's like, oh, this looks like a French bird's cage where there's nothing but tiny croissants at the bottom of it.

Yeah, and this one's colorful, which I like.

There's greens and oranges and the white one.

This one looks very nice.

It does look like individual little rolls.

And, you know, I like that his croissants are are just,

what do you call it?

Like when someone has too much money, like they're just decadent.

Like they don't need to be there.

They're not part of the actual thing.

He's just like, also, I had time to make croissants as well.

They also look kind of pale.

Those are some pale croissants as well.

I just want to point out.

They're pale in the right places.

It's what I like to call myself.

Like under my arms, my butt,

under my moobs.

It's like pale in the right places.

This basically looks like me without a shirt, these little croissants.

So Paul likes, he's like, the flavors are great.

Punchy, strong, spot-on.

So when he says it's punchy and strong, that means there's like one black peppercorn in there.

He's like, oh, it's on the verge of being too hot.

So then Prue is Prue is saying, oh, I love that Coque Monsieur.

I spent two years in Paris as a student.

I lived on Coque Monsieur.

Literally, there was a man that I would call Coque Monsieur, and I'd just climb up on him.

I said, ride him, cowboy.

But yeah, it tastes great.

Oh, when when I lived in Paris, I lived on cock, monsieur.

So,

Prue,

more like cock, monsieur.

Like Monsieur Merci or cock.

See what I'm saying here?

Yeah.

Like, Prue, come back to the five and dime, Prue, Prue.

Prue, Prue.

Come back.

So let's go over to Natalia's bread.

Let's check out what it looks like here.

And here it comes, everybody.

Here it comes.

This is Natalia's Family Table Monkey Bread.

This looks pretty good.

I mean, they all look pretty good, right?

Now that we're looking at a lot, a lot of them look very similar and they are all very seed-heavy.

Well, yeah, exactly.

Very seed-heavy.

Honestly, I love a seed-heavy bread.

Like, I think that's like where seeds shine.

Shine, shine, shine.

So Paul is like, well, the balls are quite big, which makes it more of a tear and share than a monkey bread.

I'm like, you know what?

More like, you're, you know, you're a tear and share more than a monkey bread sometimes, Paul.

And why is is that bigger than anyone else's?

They're not any bigger than Leslie's.

Did he tell her were too big?

They're no bigger than Ian's.

Ian's are way bigger.

So what?

Absolutely.

Why is her...

Why are, yeah, what's wrong?

Why can't, why can't, you know what, maybe hers is taller.

I bet hers is a little taller, too tall.

And now that I look at it, maybe it's because her, some of those other ones with big pieces are actually a couple of pieces of bread stacked on each other, where I think these probably baked into each other.

You know what?

It is a bit Terran Sherry.

I'm not going to lie.

I think Terran Sherry is more like the monkey bread has to be like balls.

I think it has to be like or ball-ish or ball adjacent to balls.

Layers of balls.

This is like a ring of bread druids that got together and stuck together.

It's stuck shoulder to shoulder or something.

Yeah.

But also I'd just like to point out while we're talking about consistency and judging is seeds.

There's tons of seeds on this.

He doesn't say anything about that.

Why is he okay with these seeds, not the other seeds?

He's really lost the thread, I think, when it comes to this.

He's lost the seed thread.

He has.

Okay, so now we go to Jessica's Picnic Season Monkey Bread, which looks good.

It's got some char in places, but I like the size of it.

It's kind of like a big disc, and it's got like pools of mozzarella or something, or blue cheese, I guess.

So Paul loves it.

It's different than all the other ones.

And it looks like, yeah, there's a lot of melty cheese all over it, like burnt cheese kind of.

And it looks gooeyer than the other ones, which I like.

This looks really good.

I could get into this.

I could get into this one.

Wow.

I'll tell you one thing.

All of her clothes off, more like all of her, all of her monkey bread is delicious.

Well,

I don't know.

In the world of drag king names, it's probably not that far off base, you know?

Yeah.

Nadia's monkey bread.

So her whole thing is that her monkey bread isn't staying together because she shook it violently out of her pan.

so it's all falling apart so she kind of like stuck it together with all this pesto honestly i'm not mad at it i don't mind a pre

pre

pulled apart monkey bread like you it's still going to do the same same

it's going to be the same effect i'm still going to go in there

well i mean we're only looking at from one angle but we can only really see one loose thing right here in this area it's i can lose

great yeah

and i think adding all the green like all the fresh green was actually really smart because it does look so much fresher.

New, darling.

It's new and fresh and interesting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, and then here's what's funny too.

So Prue says, I quite like that.

I mean, I love a milk loaf because it's a little bit cakey and I think it's really delicious.

So I'm like, see, this just goes to show they're talking about a different milk loaf than what Poinman was talking about.

Yeah.

And we're going to have to let the milk loaf go, I guess, at some point.

I don't want to.

I'm still thinking about it because now I want to make like both kinds and see how I can ruin both

kinds.

Yeah.

Yep.

Toby, his is called Trey Skimmy,

which

means, I guess, three monkeys?

The Skimmy or the Shimmy?

Oh, the Skimmy.

Yeah, I guess it would be the Simmi.

Or the Simi?

Maybe it's Simmi.

It's probably Simi, like Simeon.

Like Trey Simmon.

I don't know.

This one looks different than all the others.

And this did come out with all the ridges and stuff, whereas the other ones look like big balls.

This one, I don't think this one came out very good looking.

It didn't come out good looking.

We don't know what it tastes like, but this looks nothing like that drawing, except for the ridges, the harsh ridges.

I mean, it's an abject failure.

I think like it's cool that it took on the shape of the pan, but like, I don't know where I would like go in.

Like, I feel like it's not approachable, you know, like whereas.

Whereas

Natalia, Namnadia's, which was already kind of pre-broken apart, I actually know exactly how I'm going to approach it.

I'm going to go with that ball or that ball or that ball.

But this is sort of like, do I slice it?

Do I pick at it?

How do I do it?

Yeah, I don't really know.

Yeah, this one isn't like a grabby type thing.

So yeah, this one's not great.

Okay, who's next?

Jasmine.

Jasmine's really good in general.

Like she's been really on point so far this season.

And she has a very good looking monkey bread here.

It's got a nice ring shape.

It's like cohesive, but it's definitely balls.

You know where you're gonna like pluck from.

Um, Paul's like, Oh, this is very neat.

The balls are all here, you can see everything.

Clever, clever balls.

I could just put my fingers around that ball and just touch the ball and pull at it and have a lot of fun with that ball.

You know what I'm saying?

Really tickling the balls there.

That's what I really like.

Little, you know, I could just gozzle these balls.

I could really just gozzle these balls.

It's fantastic work.

So she says, Well, there's an olive and a rosemary one.

Not coriander, right?

Because that's Greek Cypriot.

You don't have do you know about it?

Have you heard of Greece before or Cypriot?

No.

Oh, I have.

Just want to put that out there.

Yeah, so they love hers.

And next up is...

By the way, and he even says it.

He literally even says, he's like, I'm not getting the rosemary with the olive.

I'd love to see more olive.

And even then, I would have always had coriander with an olive.

I'm like, you know what?

You have to really get, you have to get over this.

It's not a Greek Cypriot monkey bread.

And that's just how it's going to be, Paul.

Yeah, you need to get over it, Paul.

Like, seriously, get, get rid of, we know it.

We know you've, you've had the Cypriot before, okay?

We're all extremely, extremely impressed with you, Paul.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

Let's look at Poyman's flowery thing, which I really like.

So.

are what what are these flowery things the festival basin monkey bread is what this is called it looks gorgeous she's got a bunch of little balls that are all put together of different colors and then she's got these like red flower things coming out of it are those bell peppers?

What are they?

They look sort of like bell peppers.

I think they are bell peppers that have been shaped into sort of like blossoms.

Oh, I have to say, oh, no, the, yeah, yeah, it is.

I have to say that Prue suggests that

it needed some glaze.

And honestly, you can see it does.

It does need some glaze, especially because the pesto kind of like sits on top of it in this weird kind of

lumpy

like it's just it looks dry you can and when they say that it needs more salt it's almost like you can you can almost see that it needs more salt unfortunately i don't know really you just can tell what does that look like somebody needs more salt it's like i think what when by not having that glaze on it some shine it like you already

it already kind of like looks kind of bland and like the shine tells you like oh this is gonna be like a delicious monkey bread with some it'll be shiny and salty and yummy and this is well yeah because when we just just looked at pictures of japanese milk bread um while we were talking about it that is a very shiny buttery looking top yeah

right shiny top yeah

we need a shinier top on this can i return this for a shinier top

these balls need a shiny top okay this looks lacking in salt i want to say that at a restaurant one day i haven't tasted this yet but it definitely looks like it's lacking in salt could you take that back thanks

hey everyone this is the end of part one of this recap for part two keep an eye on your podcast feed it is coming up in just a moment thanks so much for listening catch you on the second half watch what crap ins would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like allison king it's always a party on allison block our way is the amber way it's the foster and the furious it's amanda foster it's always automatic with ashley auto put your hands together for carly clapping the right foot with chrissy Offutt.

She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela.

Itchels.

We never miss her call.

It's Diane Call.

Aaron McNicholas, she don't miss no trickolis.

Hava Nagila Weber.

You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones.

I go, Hugo, we all go for Hugo.

Jamie, she has no less namie.

She's our kind of mess.

It's Jennifer Messer.

Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

Kristen the Piston Anderson.

Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey B.

K.

Sarah, Sarah, whatever will be, will Lauren Sillsby.

She gets a name from us.

It's Lindsay D.

Let's give a kisser Reno to Lisa Lino.

Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry.

We love her on the rocks.

It's Melissa Cox.

Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the burg.

This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.

I love a ya, Olivia Williamson.

Tastier than Flanderson, it's Rachel Manderson.

She sure is swell.

It's Raquel.

Yes, we canna.

It's Sedana.

Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman.

Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

Darn Skippy, it's Tippy.

And our super premium sponsors.

She's V V I P, it's Amanda V.

Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill.

Put us on a stretcher.

It's Charlotte Fletcher.

Don't get salty with Christine Pepper.

Can't have a meal without the Emily Sides.

Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland.

Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

It's our queen.

It's Queen Laifa.

Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall.

Hail the cork master, the master of the cork, Jennifer Corcoran.

We got our wish.

It's Jen Plish.

She's not harsh.

She's Jill Hirsch.

My favorite Murdoch, Karen McMurdo.

We love him madly.

It's Kyle Pod Shadley.

In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock.

G, it's Lisa H.

We're ride or die for Lisa Ryder-Baron.

She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthe.

Always killing it, it's Lol Al Kalani.

The Incredible Edible Matthew Sisters.

She eases our woes, it's Melissa St.

Rose.

There's a chance of meatballs, it's Rebecca Cloud.

Meat, it's Ronit Feldman.

Maximum love for Sandy Maximoska.

She's the Queen Bee, it's Sarah Lemke.

We cannot tell a lie, it's Sarah Telefson.

Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony.

Please don't stop.

It's Solian Pop.

Let's take off with Tam LaPlaine.

She ain't no shrinking Violet Koutar.

We love you guys.

If you like Watch What Crappens, you can listen ad-free right now by joining Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

Prime members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music.

Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at wondry.com slash survey.