#3000 Below Deck S12E16 Part One: French Disconnection

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Watch what crap is, watch what crap is.

Who cares what happens for this?

So much that crappin'.

Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappins?

I'm Ronnie, and that's Ben.

Hello, Ben.

Hi, how's it going?

Good.

What's going on with you this morning?

This beautiful Tuesday morning.

You know, I'm just enjoying

September and

we just wrapped up below deck last night.

I couldn't be happier.

Actually, I'm in a tremendous mood because it means I no longer have to watch this season of Below Deck because I thought it was the worst season they've ever had.

I'm saying it right now, everyone.

I'm saying it right now.

I thought it was insufferable.

Disagree.

Yeah, I thought it was terrible.

It actually got to me, I thought it was going to be the best season.

I thought it opened up so strong.

And as it went along, I started to realize this is actually the opposite.

This season was absolutely insufferable for me.

And I languished my way through the last night's episode.

Languished.

But you know, it's below deck.

You know, they have good seasons, bad seasons.

This one just did not really hit for me, unfortunately.

Sorry, well,

I wish it hit Selane because I was really hoping that this was going to be a fight between Rainbow and Celane that would end up in a fight on an island with somebody dead, you know?

And then I was like, wow, well, Selene and that guy do it.

You know, I was very invested.

So, what can I say?

You know, I was like, oh,

I hope the toilet gets cleaned, but I enjoyed it.

Everyone, welcome to the show.

We did Amazon Live this week.

It was so much fun.

We do those every other Monday at 4 p.m.

Pacific over on Amazon.

You can get links on our Instagram, LincolnBio.

Also,

when we're not doing that every other Monday, we are doing Crappy Hour at 5:30 p.m.

Pacific time.

So, that'll be this coming Monday.

So, join us for that.

That's super fun.

You can find that on Patreon for free or on Instagram or on YouTube, our YouTube channel.

YouTube, you can also find a bunch of free videos because we put all of our video recaps up there a week after they're released.

If you want them new, you get them on Patreon, like right now.

Like all you people watching right now, fresh on Patreon.

Hello.

Crappin' on demand.

Also, that's where you get our bonus episodes.

We've got a few trailer trashes up there, which is where we trash trailers.

We did Real Housewives of Potomac and

Real Housewives of what was the other thing?

thing?

No, below deck Mediterranean, which starts what next week or something.

And

we'll probably do a wife swap.

I don't know.

We haven't talked about it, but wife swap is coming out on Bravo.

So there should be a trailer for that.

I don't know.

But go check over on Patreon to find all that good stuff.

And today it's Below Deck season 12, episode 16.

Over

Rainbow.

Yeah, over the rainbow.

Sorry, Micah Joseph's.

Nico Joseph's over rainbow.

By the way, speaking about that

Bravo housewife, house, like wife swap, I thought it was that like the housewives swap families, but they just swap with Normies.

I did not realize that.

Did you know that?

No, I still didn't know that until you told me right now.

So they're not swapping with each other?

No, because

I watched the...

the little sizzle reel or whatever it was that they released today.

And it was like Melissa Gorga saying something like, oh my God, I have to go to Idaho and Emily Simpson being like oh god

and um and I I just assumed that like Emily was taking over Wendy's family or something like that but then they showed at the end of the trailer or like the commercial like some just like normies being like what have I gotten myself into

so that'll be um it'll be an interesting show for sure

well I feel like that's like a real life wife swap wife swap because you know the name comes from kind of swinging right like wife swap

and I feel like swingers when you swap you always get someone homelier or as homely as your current partner you know I don't think it ever works where you get someone better so I think that makes sense it's like wow we're swapping but is the grass really greener no we're all yeah basics

kind of person would want to swap into any of the real housewives less i don't know

i i feel like we see them on tv and i'm not sure i see like the upside of suddenly like swapping in and like pretending that Shane is my husband.

No one needs Joe Gorga running around their house screaming about how he needs to get the poison out.

Nobody needs that.

No one needs that at all.

I know things that are normal on housewives would probably be considered like assault on a regular show.

You know, Emily's going to go in there and diagnose everybody's child with something and be like, oh, I don't love you as much.

I just don't love you as much.

I'm trying to divorce everybody's husband.

I think this is basically just Bravo's attempt to do like some sort of like maximal crappy lake situation, sending housewives off into like rural areas where it's like, oh my God, this is crazy.

The kids all need to get their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and go to school.

So, uh, well, I think if you want us to watch how real housewives deal with the real world, I want to see them take on these jobs that are like under fire for being, you know, terrible.

Like send them to the iPhone factory, you know?

send them to, you know, the, the shipping,

like the, uh, the shipping places where they have to go, you know, work with no breaks and stuff like that.

Do that.

Do that.

That's what I want to see.

I want to see Angie trying to figure out how to lead a train union.

I

it is time.

Do or good guys.

I would,

I hope that they bring back Marguerite Perrine for Perrin, Perrin, the the crazy lady from wife swap like the only the when wife swap originally aired in like 2005

the only episode that was ever worth watching was that crazy lady Marguerite do you remember that that lady who was like this god fear she was like I'm a god warrior she was crazy in the

camera

oh yeah

these are sinners these are people of satan

that was truly the best like wife swap like, kind of like climax in that moment.

And

it was great.

It was a great time for all of us.

And so did Joe Gorga.

Super weird.

Super weird.

Let's resurrect that lady

with Joe Gorga.

How about that?

I'm down.

But in the meantime, we're going to have a Below Deck swap because Below Deck will be switching over to.

Anyone need a hug?

Below Deck Med next week.

Below Deck Med.

Yeah.

It's so much more of a spit swap.

Capri pants swap.

Okay.

Who's in my equal socks?

Okay.

So here we go.

Below deck, season 12, episode 16 of the rainbow.

We get interviews and we know that it's the end of the season because there's like lots of green screen.

They didn't even put anything up.

They're like, guys, this is what it looks behind the scenes.

It's a green screen.

They are acting like scandal is about to happen on this boat.

Like, we made it.

america has seen this crazy riveting season of people banging each other oh how's it all gonna shake out i'm like why do we have to have why are they making it seem like we're doing a cameras pick pick back up episode it's just the it's just the maids the maids are just they're finishing up their charter they're like picking the toilet bowl one last time

Every day is hell, so you've got to be ready for hell, Anthony.

And then we see flashbacks of Anthony losing his mind and throwing dish rags.

It's his best, his best, his best act.

And then we see, like, oh my God, all this stuff.

And then we see Kelly being kicked off the boat.

Democrats.

And then we see Kyle and he's like with Helen on the beach.

And oh my God, so much scandal happened.

Isn't it funny how Kelly's whole thing, like, you Democrats, you're all Democrats.

Like how fitting that is right now in this time.

just seeing that clip i was like well you got to give it to below deck they they keep it modern because that's basically if you if you turn on the news right now that's basically what's happening everyone's like democrat it was democrats like you're all a bunch of kellies sit down all of you so anthony's like yeah tonight it's an incredibly big challenge because we do have a lot of restriction i do it for you daddy I do it for you, daddy.

He kept saying that in this episode, like, daddy, daddy, I'm doing this gluten-free plate for you, daddy.

This is all for you, daddy.

I'm figuring out fish-free, gluten-free for you, daddy.

It's like, okay, could you just leave your dad alone?

Okay.

This poor guy.

He's like, please, son, stop throwing the dish rag.

The son, I'm sorry, but I'm in heaven now.

I cannot pay attention to your eight-course meal.

There are real celebrities up here.

here

i spoke to matt napoleon last night he's real cool i don't know why people say he's a complex he is a complex personality but you know come on like you're kind of interrupting my flow right now son

so the captain is going to be eating at the table tonight which could send anthony over the edge

so he spends half an hour really plucking those eyebrows to make sure he's ready and he's ready he's done so anthony's uh

He's going to bust out his, he's going to pull out his best mommy dearest look for tonight's meal.

Like eight courses.

Really?

Every course have to do.

That's one more lash that comes out.

Yeah.

He's like, I'm 90s eyebrows today, people.

We're going to do this.

Back in the day before gluten allergies.

Let's do this.

So everyone sits down for the big fire and ice dinner.

And then everything is, there's so many slow-mo shots.

I i don't know why they just it's been a lot all season but this episode they were like like okay cindy one episode left just give us everything we know you've come come up with a lot of good slow-mo filters she's like yes i'm gonna do it it's like someone sitting down in a chair it's like slow motion close-up of a lady taking your seat slow motion close-up of putting something in the oven by the way also the other thing is this

okay Anthony has a lot of stress.

He's got to do an eight course meal before these damn fireworks go off.

Can the producers like get out of his way must they put a gopro on the sheet pan that he puts into the oven because you know he's like i just want to cook my food like no no stop we have to put a gopro into the sheet panic so we know what it's like to be put into an oven i'm like why are you doing this this poor man let him cook i was cracking up at that too the gopro on the sheet pan like oh okay wow Now we know what it's like, the life inside of an oven.

Yeah, that's why that other guy quit too.

That original chef was like, get out of my kitchen.

I'm trying to cook.

God damn it, get these cameras out of here.

I can't do it.

And they're like, just get someone desperate enough to put a GoPro on a sheet pan and make sure he's barely got eyebrows left.

Please, please, whoever it is.

Please get your GoPro out of my Palanta.

Oh, Daddy says you can put GoPro on my Palanta.

Go ahead.

Go for it.

Guarvalon?

GoPro.

So,

yeah, he's stressed out.

And I just love that only Anthony could make fireworks this stressful.

He's like, oh, we have firework tonight.

I do this for you, Daddy.

I do it for you.

So

he introduces the dinner, the fire and ice tasting.

For the first course, it's iced avocado mousse over black garlic paste.

Gross.

Iced avocado mousse.

That's like frozen guacamole.

I'm okay with that.

I want my guac room temp.

Don't serve me some like an iced avocado.

Listen, you are on

super yacht with coronary food for daddy.

Come on, be open to these things.

So they have it.

They enjoy

their iced avocado mousse.

And then Barbara and Jess are in the crew mess talking.

Jess is like, I don't know where you didn't know where you were.

Oh,

I thought you were in a different room and I walked in that room and you weren't there.

And if I had only paid attention, I would have known you weren't in that room.

It is the consequences of my actions.

Oh, you're off in August.

What if I meet up with you in august instead of now do you think that would be okay because we could spend more time together you want to go to new york and your butt off in new york i'm convinced that she and you know i hate saying this because i really like barbara but i think jess is totally using her for real estate she's using her for 100

100

barbara needs to start working on looking at red flags.

Okay.

If you're if you're working, you're working amongst the waves anyway, so you should be paying attention to to these flags because this is so obvious to anyone watching that this lady is purely using it when she says maybe instead of hanging out now, let's hang out in like several months from now.

No, we all know how that, what that means.

Come on, Barbara.

And then Barbara says, Well, I do have feelings for Jess.

I mean, part of me really wants to see where this goes.

And, but I had a long distance relationship before, and it's something that I definitely don't want to have again because I know how easily I get hurt.

I'm confused.

It's not nice.

You don't very, if you get easily hurt, why are you messing with this lady right now?

Because she's really hot.

I mean, look, we all, we all know what that's like.

And I get it.

You know, red flags don't mean anything.

Some when the person is hot enough, a red flag just looks like a sheet.

You know, it's like, I can fuck under that sheet.

You know, lay it down.

Let's fuck on it.

You know, I'll take that red flag because, you know, a person's hot enough.

You put that to the side.

I guess.

Yeah, I guess so.

I'll allow it.

But protect your real estate, you know, even when you're renting.

It's still yours, you know, protect it because you live somewhere like New York.

People will be coming to see you all the time and you need to start protecting yourself.

So Barbara, you know, Jess is like, where do we stand in our relationship?

Well, I mean, you just fucked someone else in the shower about five minutes ago.

So can we not talk about our relationship right now?

You little fucking apartment, you little couch surfer, you little cooch surfer.

So Barbara's like, well, I think we keep in touch.

And she goes, oh, exactly what I wanted to hear.

Just keep in touch.

She probably literally wants to keep in touch.

So

then Anthony serves his next course.

He's torching.

He's bruleeing.

This is an onion brulee for daddy

because everything he brulees, everything for fire is literally, he just lights on fire.

So he brings out an onion.

This was the longest service of all time.

He's like, oh, I don't know how I'm going to have time to do this before firework.

Please, daddy, give me strength.

He brulees that even on, even with editing on TV, I was like, wow, you're doing each one at the table.

Each one is taking at least two minutes.

Can they eat their damn brulee?

Do this in the back.

I know.

Well, that was Fraser who said that.

He's like, shouldn't you be doing this up at the table?

I think they'd like to see it.

I'm like, I don't want to see someone like.

I thought the same thing.

I was like, just do it ahead of time and bring it out all at once because I don't want to be sitting there.

If I'm number one in the brulee line, if you brulee and I have to sit there and just like wait for everyone else to get brulee when there's like eight ladies there, uh-uh,

yeah,

yeah, exactly.

Um,

so yeah, by the way, you're correct, everything does look really good.

I think he did a great job with this final dinner thing, yeah.

Um, but it was very literal, you know, fire and ice, everything will be on fire.

I will make everything on fire, literal fire.

You know, you could have

the assignment extremely literally, but, you know, it did look good.

So onion brulee.

And then

one of the guests is like, oh, but I'm ice.

I'm only allowed to talk about cool things.

Well, you failed so far,

all of you ladies on this boat.

Woo!

Woo!

You didn't talk enough about cool things.

Yeah, they definitely did not have that.

So

then there's some steak au boi

and there's more flames on that.

And then there's like a mushroom thing.

And then one of the ladies is like, I'm not tasting mushroom.

And it's like, really, Kathy?

I'm like, no, I'm not.

Like, whatever.

And just moves on.

I'm like, we're just going to move on from the lady who doesn't taste mushroom.

There was a time in our lives when below deck would hear an entire episode over a lady not tasting the mushroom in her mushroom dish.

And there would be a commercial break and there'd be promos and it would be a cliffhanger and it'd be like, we're not going to get our tip.

And and now it's just like i just am not tasting mushroom and everyone says get over it and then we go back to watching jess and barbara or selene and kyle and demo downstairs it's just i i want petty service issues back front and center on blow deck but also fuck that lady because she was just trying to have her top chef regular person moment where they where they have those challenges where it's they show the audience eating, you know, and they're like, we're regular people and I don't appreciate that there's no mushroom.

And they're just trying to get their camera time.

And I think everyone knew she was just trying.

And so they're like, shut up, Kathy, because it was mushroom risotto.

Okay.

It was risotto covered in mushrooms.

Like there was mushrooms everywhere.

It was brown.

And she was like, I'm really not getting any mushroom.

Like, you really need to try harder, Kathy, because this is literally covered in mushrooms.

It's like, what?

Mushroom?

I swear a mushroom.

You're eating a mushroom right now.

Do you know what a mushroom tastes like?

You know what it tastes like, Kathy.

I mean, I tasted tasted mushrooms.

I was watching it.

That's why I was like, this should have been a cliffhanger because this lady

is obviously an awful person because she's clearly trying to have a moment with the mushrooms.

And it's just her luck that she's on the season where they don't care about moments like these anymore.

Yeah.

And then there's no spoons for the ice cream.

So, uh-oh.

So people have to start running around.

Yes, they have to run around.

It's like a huge moment.

And then is a baked Alaska with Grand Marniere

because you know what you can do with that?

Start it on fire.

And so he does.

Because it's fire.

What else it is?

Ice.

It's fire and ice.

Fire and ice.

You know what else it is?

A state.

And it's baked.

Someone baked the state.

Alaska.

A lot of things.

It's a geography lesson.

It's a reference to northern exposure.

It reminds me of the future.

It puts you Russia from its house.

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The other day, I ordered from Wayfair this really cool little side table for here in this office.

So that way, if I ever needed my laptop, I could put my laptop on it right next to my desk setup, which was really cool.

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So then, um,

let's see.

So, Fraser is like, he fucking nailed it.

Look at the excitement on my face.

The guests always love your food.

Why do you think, why do you doubt yourself?

Is it because I running around, run around you saying, don't fail, don't fail, don't fail, you smell, don't fail?

Possibly?

I just always have this feeling to feel like it was not enough, and I'm going to work on that, you know?

It's like, but I'm so glad I put my faith in you to come back and show America that I'm not a dick ward after all.

Yes, but without you, I would never be at this level on this season.

So thank you.

Thank you for recommending me, Brulee at the table.

Otherwise, I would still be shitty shitty chef down in the galley.

I hope to see you for many, many more seasons together.

I'm sorry, I'm busy that day, but thank you.

Thank you so much.

So Kyle and Selene are cuddling up, and

Kyle's in love, you know.

He's like, we've been through a lot, but

we both made terrible decisions along the way and there's been deceit, but now we're back.

And I'm not with Celaine, but there's definitely feelings.

Maybe me more so than her, but I'm just such an emotional guy.

You're drunk.

You're drunk with the shakes.

And I think you're just going to take any blanket that passes you.

And also, she's extremely hot.

It's not like some straight love story.

Yeah, he's like, she's extremely hot.

I love her so deeply.

She's damaged.

You're damaged and you're looking for a fairy tale to make it seem like all the damage isn't there but you're damaged this is not going to work out and you like i don't care that he he wants to bang saline because she is super hot but like him saying stuff that there's emotions involved i'm like please sir can you not can you not bore us with this ridiculousness there why are you attaching emotions to this person who already showed you earlier this season that she has no interest in any emotions back towards you and that's fine as well but now you're going to burden us with your emotional bullshit that, like, we all can be like, We know your emotional bullshit is fake too.

And you're just doing this to feel to make us like feel some sort of like, like, oh, poor Kyle, Kyle, Kyle has it rough.

And like, I'm just, I don't want to hear of you.

Guys on all reality shows, especially this one, do that.

They're like, oh, my feelings are so hurt.

They always do that at the end of the season so that they can go to bars.

And girls are like, oh, my God, your heart was so hurt.

I can help you.

they're like going for the um you know the post-season pusé say that's what they're going for yeah and i'm not buying it and the only reason you like her is a she's hot and b you're an alcoholic and she has wine and cigarette breath

yeah i think that really is it and it's just like just I kind of just want him to just stand in it and say like, yeah, she's hot.

I just want to bang her a little bit.

But when he's like, oh, I'm,

I can't help it.

I just get emotionally attached.

I'm like, sir, we saw you banging on the piss-laden floor of a bathroom three weeks ago.

And by the way, when they showed the flashbacks.

You stuck there wiener and big and like four weeks ago.

And also, like, he really talks like this is like the great romance of our times.

And when they show, like, at some point during this episode, they show flashbacks.

And maybe it could be here where he's like, we've had our ups and our downs.

And they show like when he and Celaine first got together, that was 20 days ago.

And then their issue that they had was 11 days ago.

I'm like, you're talking about, this is two weeks.

I'm like, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Like, don't just, just bang and enjoy it.

Like, please don't give us all this emo crap along.

I don't want to have to be invested.

It's not so much that I'm invested in the emo crap.

It's that then the show gets invested in it.

And then we have slow moments and sadness.

And

I'm like, I can't, I cannot.

I'm, God, so I'm really on one today.

I'm sorry, Ronnie.

I don't know why I'm really like, I don't know why I'm steaming mad today, but I am really on one today about Blow Deck.

No, I get it.

Look, and you're someone who loves Love Island.

So my initial thought is like, you love it on Love Island, but I think it's different because that's Love Island and that's what you do on Love Island.

But this, I want to see you clean a toilet and that's it.

It's very important to me.

I want to see you clean a toilet.

I want to see you forget the forks.

I want to see you, you know, like.

figure out how to blow up balloons for ice and fire.

That's what I want to see.

That's exactly correct.

And I thought about that.

I actually had that exact same thought process, which is like, I love when, when there's this drama on Love Island, but like, it's just, it's not like this, this isn't Love Island.

And so it's just, it's not what I'm tuning in for.

This is toilet brush island.

Okay.

It's toilet island.

It's toilet brush island.

Get out your toilet brush.

I have no interest in you without a cleaning product in your hand.

And that's it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it's just, it's, it's so tiresome.

So just to hear it.

The entertainment.

Like I go to car wash.

The entertainment is the bristles coming down over my car and me being in it, going,

I'm dying.

You know, as the things splash you and all that, that's the entertainment.

I don't want to go through there and just watch the

car wash guys fucking.

That's just not the place for that.

Squirt my car, not me.

You really should stop driving convertibles to the car wash, Ronnie.

No wonder why they're so traumatic.

I'm taking my best bet through the car, the car wash.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

I'm dying.

So Fraser, this is also an episode where Fraser acts like he just won an Emmy Award.

He's like, I can't believe it.

I can't believe we're here.

My crew this season dealt with different obstacles and challenges.

There were dinners, there were picnics.

Toilet cleanings.

It feels like we've been chased by a feral dog with rabies, but we pulled it off.

Well done to us.

I'm very proud.

Ow!

I actually just got bit by a feral dog with rabies.

Damn it, he caught me.

That would have made the season, actually, if there was a feral dog with rabies.

It would have improved this.

I would love that.

I would love that as like a story arc,

because that's actually one frontier that reality TV has truly not taken us to is just the feral rabies storyline.

As long as it's caught early and there's no true danger, then it's great.

Obviously, we don't want anyone to get true rabies.

I remember the one time,

I remember one time, like when I was like 22, my friend Kate had a party, and my other, another Kate

slept overnight at the party.

And then she woke up in the morning and she had like a bruise and she was confused.

So she went to the doctor, and they were concerned that a rabid bat had bit her in the middle of the night.

So she had to have rabies shots for a few weeks.

And

yeah,

I just just thought, man, that sucks.

But also a hilarious concept, the bat got in in the middle of the night and bit her and gave her rabies.

But by the way, I've always been afraid of rabies.

I don't know.

I've had this irrational fear.

That's not irrational.

That is a rational fear of getting rabies.

Because like growing up, my house was sort of like,

it was like

surrounded by

a big wooded area.

Like my driveway was like, I had to walk

down this long driveway to get to the bus stop.

And I was always afraid a rabid raccoon was going to come out of the woods and bite me

yeah I read very fresh when I was 12 and I have

I always wanted someone around me to get rabies I didn't necessarily want to get it but like Cujo is basically a mom and a her son hiding in a car as this dog is attacking their car and they're like oh my god how do we get to the front door and the car won't start and then oh god now we have to get around now we have to get around this dog that's the whole book and it was so scary and i just always wanted to find a way to get my sister rabies because I could imagine like me and my mom hiding in the station wagon while my sister is banging up against the car.

My sister's like so sweet, by the way.

So just imagining her all feral out there like, let me in, mommy, the man.

And we just wouldn't let her in.

It was always my dream as a kid, which is probably kind of sick.

As far as Fraser goes,

you know, saying things like, feels like we've been chased with a feral dog with rabies.

You know, Fraser seems fine and everything.

I think he did an okay job this season.

But overall, my overall note is I need more Cow Val.

And that's it.

I just, I need,

feels like we've been chased by a feral dog with rabies.

Like, you're fired, you know?

Yeah, I think

it's time.

I think it's time.

Also, because, like, honestly,

like,

he did an all right job.

I think that Celine, I think Celine fucking sucks.

I'm sorry.

Celine sucks.

I love her.

She's an icon.

I feel like I was like that with with her for so long.

I was like, she's hilarious.

Like, she has this really ridiculous attitude.

But then I really, I had this moment last night where I was like, you know, we all know she's a terrible worker.

Like, she's a terrible worker.

But I had a moment last night watching this show where I was like, you know what?

I think I like just in time for the season to end, I kind of hit my wall with her.

And I went from being like, oh, she's so amusing to like, she's like, she fucking sucks.

I'm sorry.

Selene fucking sucks.

She like is a bad worker.

worker she's obnoxious she really only cares about herself and you know that bravo is going to bring her back because she's kind of a breakout star of the season and she already i mean she's already going to be on love island games so i just feel like i don't know i'm just like she sucks and frasier frasier should have like acknowledged like he should have seen that and he should have seen like how much work other people were having to put in because of her and because he had some sort of like ego thing that he was like not going to fire someone because he wanted to change his image for the season.

I think that's shitty because other people had to suffer for what he wanted to prove to like himself in America.

And he should have fired Celaine a long time ago.

And that is my feeling on that.

Well, other people may have suffered, but I gained because she brought me so much entertainment.

Like I literally, if they sold posters of Celaine, I would buy one and put it in my room.

Like I love her.

And I think that the reason he kept her was because as bad as she was, it made him look better in his mind to the audience because he was finding a way to keep her.

And so that was his only.

So I think his big arc for the season was like, Look at me.

I've gotten to the point where I don't fight with anyone, even if they're so lame.

Didn't I do a good job?

When meanwhile, it means he kind of did a bad job because he didn't like he can't win.

You know, I'm sure in his mind, he's like, I can't win with these fucking people, you know?

Like, first, they're mad at me for fighting with people and firing them.

And now they're mad at me for not fighting with someone and firing them.

But the thing is, you were in trouble before because you were like having like really weird, immature fights with a bunch of girls, which is never a great look

honestly and you were taking it too you were getting way too personal with it and getting way too like bitchy with people in your job and it was it was unprofessional you know it wasn't that you thought camille sucked camille did suck it's like how you went about it was very immature so you know you can't win you didn't win but yeah no i mean thank you for keeping sale

I mean, I look, look, my, my Selene feeling kicked in right at the right time.

I got like a whole season's worth of entertainment from her.

And then at the last minute, I just sort of had this moment of like, oh, Bravo's going to probably bring this girl back.

And that's so shitty because she is like,

she's bad.

I'm not saying she's a bad person, but she's like so self-involved.

She's so obnoxious and she causes so much damage to people around her.

I was like, God, she really sucks.

And she, and I think what was terrible is that like

Fraser, I think in the past, maybe he got in trouble for like wanting to fire someone too quickly.

And so like it was good that he like really tried to work with someone and

tried to make it last.

But at a certain point, like, you know,

you're, you're rewarding someone for getting marginally better and punishing someone who's actually working really, really hard like Rainbow.

And I just think that's like, I don't know.

I think that's like bullshit.

And I think that I think that she should have been

symbolically fired for this last episode, personally, even though the charter was over.

I think they still fire her ass.

Yeah, just on the last day.

He's like, we're not going to fire her on the drop day.

And I think the audience would have really liked him more if he had been like, you're terrible.

Please leave.

And then, you know, we could have just watched Rainbow have a nervous breakdown as she had to change all the sheets herself.

I mean, that would have been a good ending.

In fact, I actually thought that we were going to be getting that.

I was like, okay, there will be some justice.

Anyway, enough of my ranting.

I'm sorry.

I'm just really ranting today.

Are you sorry?

That's what we do.

We sit down.

I'm not even in a bad mood about things.

No.

I'm not even in a bad mood.

I'm just like, I'm like, ah, maybe I'm in a bad mood.

I don't know.

Am I in a bad mood?

I don't know.

Are you in a bad mood?

Well, this is also kind of an early morning recording for us.

We had a meeting that we had to get up for on the East Coast this morning.

So we're recording a little early, but I like it.

I think I'm in a bad mood.

If this is a bad mood, I like it.

I'm also in a good mood.

I think in a good mood.

Listen, who cares?

You're about to sit around and bitch.

Who are you apologizing for?

That's all we do every day.

So anyway, it's a final night of charter and there's a fireworks show.

It's huge and everyone acts like they've never seen fireworks before.

Like, oh my God, it's fireworks.

Thank you, daddy.

I did it for you, daddy.

And yeah, fireworks.

It is cool seeing them close up like that because this is where like fireworks can kill you, you know, where they're so close.

They didn't, though.

It's like there's no feral dogs.

No one got hit by a firework.

So it's all kind of a letdown.

remember the time when they did a big fireworks show july 4th fireworks show done in san diego and there was an error and they set up all the fireworks all at once you know oh my god yeah that's terrible there was something that happened like that this summer somewhere and it was insane like a fireworks factory went off it was like oh my god oh yeah that happens every once in a while once in a while someone like something goes wrong in a fireworks factory and it's real chaos but i just remember that san diego thing which was that all these people showed up found a picnic blanket and got ready for their big fireworks show.

And they all went off in five seconds and it was over.

And it was like, wait, what?

Oh, God.

Fireworks, they're hilarious.

So

Fraser says, I finished this season with the same interior team, and I'm so happy about it.

Every season has different personalities.

Every year is a whole new game and test.

But this year, I think I've passed.

No, you failed.

You did not fire your worst Stew, who is terrible.

Okay.

I'm going to say you failed on this one.

And they give him a big stamp that said, past.

I wish it was spelled P-A-S-T.

I'm the past.

Because they had a commercial for below deck med.

And just seeing Daisy with her new haircut, I was like, why am I so excited to just see Daisy with a new haircut?

And like on a different boat.

I was like, this is the excitement I need when I see the chief stew coming back.

And I'm like, oh my God, I can't wait to see what Daisy is like.

What's she going to do without Gary?

What's she going to do without Carl?

What's going to happen?

And I just, you know, I'm sorry, Fraser.

I just don't feel it.

So Carrie, oh, sorry.

Just as, just as a,

just so we, you know, people will write in, Daisy was actually in the Salt Lake City preview because they're going to go on to the

Below Deck Down Underboat on Salt Lake City this season.

Not med.

Yep.

That's right.

I'm just letting, I'm saying that only because other people will say, actually, it wasn't Blow Deck Med that you saw it on.

Oh, it was down under.

You're right.

Yeah.

But still, you know, well, that one had your point about exciting.

And that's another one.

Asha also had that cute haircut.

They both got that same short Bob kind of haircut, actually.

So I did see a Bob.

So I was correct about that.

I was very excited about another Bob, but it was Asia's Bob.

And I felt the same excitement about her.

You know, you felt

both Bobs were exciting, as they should be.

You know what?

been out, you've been out entertained by two Bobs, Fraser.

Okay, two separate Bobs have both out entertained you.

If Fraser comes on next season with Aisha's little Bob, that would be hilarious.

I've changed up my look a little bit.

Fraser's like, I'm doing what I can this season.

The audience said that they liked Bobs, so here I am back with the Bob.

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So, Carrie is happy,

and you know he's like that dinner was fucking amazing a true culinary adventure it's like thank you again uh captain daddy for trusting me and bringing me here i was like oh yeah for me to have the opportunity to see you flourish is pretty amazing bro I'm very proud of Anthony.

He's come a very long way and he's had the same, he's not the same chef that he used to be.

He's had a few hard knocks, made some mistakes, but he ended up doing great.

And he's grown to be the chef that I always knew he could be a chef

with impossibly thin eyebrows.

You see, daddy, thank you, daddy.

This is for you, daddy.

As the chef leaves, as the captain leaves.

So Damo hangs with the guests and is still, you know, they're still wooing about things.

They're going to baked Alaska.

Woo!

Fireworks.

Woo!

We're single.

Woo.

And Damo's like, wow, they're a huge temptation.

Look, they're hot.

They're rich enough to charter a yacht.

And if you're looking for a future ex-fiancé, I'm here to play.

You're so gross.

And also, someone posted in a comment on Instagram.

I thought, I think her name was Betty Ba or Betty Ba?

I'm sorry I forgot your name.

I promised myself I would remember your name because I freaking loved this comment.

She said, Damo looks just like Steve Martin.

I cannot get it out of my head yet.

He has Steve Martin face.

He has a face.

None of his charm or talent, unfortunately, but he's definitely got the face.

Steve Martin face with like 1987 Annie Potts hair.

Yes, yes, isn't it crazy?

He has his exact face.

That is wild, actually.

Only herpes in the building.

So, um, he checks on the guests.

He's like, Is there anything you need?

And they're like, um, probably woo.

Woo.

Please fuck one of those basic bees.

Please, please do it.

I do.

You fucking hypocrite.

So now it's late at night and Selene and Rainbow, it's their final lates.

And Rainbow is like, oh my God, this is the last lates list.

Oh my God, this is fucking good, bro.

Yeah.

And Selene's like, yes, this is the last one.

It's the last one.

She's like, I hate doing this.

Me too, me too.

Tonight is the last.

So I want to play.

I want to have fun because I really work hard.

I do my best all the time, period.

Okay, and this, I think, this is the time for celebrating, and no more lists.

So, she pours herself a gigantic glass of wine,

and uh, then the guests are hanging out on the deck, and they're talking about drinking and wanting to do shots.

Let's do shots with Damo.

He's so sexy.

Tell us about Martin Short.

Is he really tiny?

So, they do an

isolude shot thing, And

then let's see.

So Selene is doing shots with them.

Yeah.

So yeah, she's doing that.

And Rainbow sees that.

And she's like, are you fucking kidding me, bro?

I'm so irritated taking shots with guests doing fuck all at night.

Like, I don't understand how you are this selfish and narcissistic.

Fuck all this bullshit, you stupid bitch.

I'll see you in the Dutch island.

One woman enters, two women enter, one woman leaves.

So Selene is like, okay, go for some sombre.

Okay, demo, go stand in front of some band.

I'm going to jump.

I'm going to jump on you.

I'm going to jump like this.

So just be ready.

And Rampo's like, um,

yeah, okay, Mary Lou Bratton.

Can we just like do whatever we're going to do after work?

Because I really need Selene to like be here and like that way I can go to bed.

Okay.

So it's hola.

Hola la course today.

Okay, demo.

like it's last day, we don't care, okay, don't okay, move your arm away.

And then Celine just like runs across the deck and like jumps onto Damo in such a way.

I actually rewound this a few times.

I was like, How did she do that?

She like jumped and like her legs wound up like above his shoulders.

Oh, no, she was above his shoulders.

I thought she was just like on his waist.

No, those legs were up by his neck.

Wow.

I was like, finally, you do something skillful, skill-based.

Yeah.

Now, if you could only, you know, maybe do that with a fork and knife in your coots, you could set a table decently.

That's all she needed.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So now Dame Bo's with Rainbow and he's asking if she needs help.

And she's like, I'm done too.

I'm just doing laundry.

I mean, so-so might need a hand, but I'm not helping her.

And if I was a chief stew, I would never hire her.

He's like, well, she's not a yachty.

She's a socialite.

A socialite?

That's a pretty loose use of that term.

Where did he come up with that?

She's not a socialite.

What has she ever donated other than her spin?

Yeah, I'm not sure.

She's social lights off.

So then, and he's like, and you don't ever have to work with her ever again.

So she's like, I'm not.

And I'm fucking thankful.

Okay.

So

now

Damos goes down.

And now Celaine is, Selene is like doing handstands.

She's like, oh, this is nice.

This is nice.

Doing hands.

This is nice.

Also, I love when she like jumped into Damo's arms.

Afterwards, she's like, I love to jump.

So now she's like jumping and doing handstands.

Maybe she was like a gymnast at some point, which did she ever say she was like training to be a gymnast as a child?

She's surprisingly like athletic.

No, but I like that the producers were like, okay, Celaine, it's the season finale.

Nothing has happened.

Just please try to give Rainbow a nervous breakdown.

She's like, okay, I will do i'm not joking so she's just going to do whatever she can and

this has to kill rainbow because she's also jumping all over the guy that rainbow's been flirting with you know which rainbow

and then he does the ultimate when he says good night cinderella because he's not saying like good night cinderella from the ball he's saying good night cinderella on the ground picking up little rice bits so she can eventually take a bath and go to a ball you know it's like she just gets kicked in the nuts over and over again tonight.

Yeah, she really does.

So then it's like 3.30 in the morning and Selena is like drinking this wine and Rainbow comes into the salon and she's like, you're not supposed to be drinking.

I know.

I know.

The only reason I'm awake is because you're taking so long to finish.

I'm still working.

I'm not just chilling.

I'm doing work too.

Bro, I want to go to bed, okay?

No, I know.

No, I know it's not funny.

I know it's not funny.

Are you fucking kidding me?

No, you know what?

Fuck you, bro.

Fuck you.

Fuck you, you do.

Fuck you, bro.

Dutch, fuck you.

Okay, Dutch, fuck you.

I've only ever tried to help you, and you're standing there and you're laughing.

I genuinely think you are the worst person I've ever had to work with.

No, no, no, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You don't even give a fuck.

You don't even give a fuck.

You don't

give a fuck.

I am genuinely so thankful I never have to work with you again.

I just mean, I am just like so over it, okay?

I don't know.

You don't have to be pink.

You don't have to be pink like that.

I don't know why you are so pink.

Are you pink?

Well, her name is literally Rainbow, but like her face is her face is red.

She's screaming so hard.

And by the way, they're also screaming.

There are guests downstairs.

I was like, you guys both need to shut it right now.

Like, you're acting like it's an off day, but there are guests down there.

And of course, I thought this was going to be a thing.

The guests heard fighting and it gets back to Captain Carrey.

And they both are going to get reprimanded.

No, no, it wasn't.

yeah um so it's the final day 7 a.m

i have a three page long letter from rainbow because of course rainbow's like oh i'm gonna go and i'm gonna tell on her i'm gonna tell on so so oh good one rainbow first of all you've told on her for the past three weeks over like stupid like i saw her standing there like hugging someone smoking a cigarette which literally no one is gonna care about

and now no one cares about it you know like you've got to save them up and also she's texting Fraser while he's asleep, and he gave her the job of dealing with this girl.

So I don't know who you think you're making look bad, but it's kind of you because you're supposed to be managing her.

Although, Solane sucks.

So

let me just practice.

I get where Solane is coming from, but her whole like, I'm going to go tattletale with Fraser and we'll see how she likes it.

And he's like, I don't care.

I don't care.

Do you understand?

Listen, the Fraser without a Bob would have cared, but this new Fraser doesn't.

And she's wildly entertaining.

Yeah, I mean, like, Rambo, like,

her tattling is just delivered in such a sort of

like, like, angry kid sister way that no one takes it seriously.

And she just needs to work on her gravitas.

She needs to, she needs to.

She needs to, instead of doing things like, um, Fraser, so you didn't give Selene a break.

We're not doing breaks yet, right?

Because she's out there having having bowl cereal.

It's like, that's like not going to be as effective as sitting down and saying, I'm doing a lot of the work.

I need you to help here as my supervisor because I'm reaching my wit's end because she's not doing what she needs to do and it's affecting my performance or something like that.

But like the tattling means that when you get to a situation like this, you're just not taken seriously.

And it's actually kind of bullshit because I just think that like.

Fraser has Celaine's back more than Rainbow's and he should have Rainbow's back more, but she doesn't make it easy for herself by being so taddly.

Well, we all know, you know, when there's two little kids and one runs to their mom constantly is like, oh my God, Ronnie trying to pull out my eyelashes.

Eventually the mom's just going to be like,

no one likes a tattletale, you know, you know what, Carly, no one likes a tattletale.

Go to your room.

And then she gets in trouble.

And meanwhile, I've got like eyelashes that I'm gluing onto my doll and I'm just happy as pie.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's just how it is.

She's the tattletale.

No one likes a tattletale.

And also she tattletales badly because she's like, oh my God, she's drinking with the guests and she's fucking around and then she's drinking white wine while she cleans.

Okay.

But you put while she cleans into the complaint, which means she's actually working and drinking white wine.

And no one's going to get mad at her for doing that on the last night.

They're just not.

And honestly, no one would.

Yeah, but also if you're going to.

If you're going to like spend the energy to tattle, you're basically tattling into a void.

You might as well at this point, like tattle to Carrie, right?

Like it's your last night.

If, if Selene's going to go for it, why don't you go for it?

Why don't you do, why don't you be the Selene of tattling and just

and just tell Captain Carrie and let him do a symbolic firing?

Because honestly, I can't imagine that a captain would be happy about that.

I feel like a captain would say, I don't care.

Like, I don't care if it's day one or day Zed.

You're out of here.

There's a super yacht.

You got to have standards and let this be a lesson so you can grow.

You flourish.

And one and honor, it's been here for me to see you flourish as I follow you.

Like, I would have loved that.

Well, and also stop picking up her slack and just say, hey, Fraser, it's two in the morning.

I've done as I've done 75% of this list.

I'm exhausted.

Selene's drunk and is refusing to finish.

So you deal with that how you want to deal with it.

Bye.

And that's it.

Like if Fraser wants to be like this the whole season and let you take up the slack, then just say, listen, Fraser, I've done more than I can do.

And like legally, it's probably not legal because it's international, but like my union says I need this amount of sleep and she's not doing her job.

So I'm going to, I'm going to go ahead and leave that up to you.

And then boom, leave it up to him.

And then that frustration falls on him.

But like picking up all season and then complaining about it, like doing all of her work for her and then complaining about it is just not the way to go.

And I see why she's doing it because she wants to prove that she's like the hardest worker, but that comes with a price tag.

You just need to say she's not doing her job and the job doesn't get done when everybody's woken up and she gets yelled at.

You won't get yelled at.

She will.

And Fraser is ultimately the manager of all of you.

So if she's not getting it done, Fraser is ultimately responsible.

So I think she just needs kind of a different tactic because Rainbow is, you know, as a person, probably super annoying, but she's a good worker and she's painting herself into a corner with all this enabling bullshit.

I think we need to open up a tattle clinic for future Steuss.

Like, listen, when you get onto that,

this is how you tattle.

Yeah.

This is them and Ronnie's tattle clinic.

Yeah, you manipulate.

You know, there's ways that you have to massage the situation.

Crying and stomping your feet just is not it.

That's not how to lead.

I mean, unless you're leading

a free world.

Unless you're leading America.

That's not really the way to lead.

I would say follow Damo's lead because he tattles very effectively.

He, he, although he's also a guy and like, People tend to be more open to, I think, men tattling than women tattling.

I I think when woman tattles, people are like, oh,

whatever.

She's just a tattle.

But then, like, if a guy does it, it's like, oh, that's pretty cool.

That the bro brought me some interesting observations, you know what I mean?

But either way, I think

like Damo was very effective with his tattling this season.

And Rainbow just has to like, just has to learn how to, how to make sure her message really drives home.

Hello there.

This is a two-part recap.

Okay.

This is the end of part one.

So thank you so much for listening to this.

Just come back a little later for part two.

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Jamie, she has no less namie.

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Get a B in your bonnet with Lacey B.

K.

Syrah, Syrah, whatever will be, will Lauren Sills be.

She gets a name from us, it's Lindsay D.

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We love her on the rocks.

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Yes, we canna.

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Darn Skippy, it's Tippy.

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Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pentland.

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It's our queen, it's Queen Laifa.

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Hail the Cork Master, the Master of the Cork, Jennifer Corcoran.

We got our wish.

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She's not harsh.

She's Jill Hirsch.

My favorite Murdoch, Karen McMurdo.

We love him madly.

It's Kyle Pod Chadley.

In the study with a candlestick, it's Leslie Peacock.

G, it's Lisa H.

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She's a whiz, it's Liz Sarthe.

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Rose.

There's a chance of meatballs.

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Meet.

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She ain't no shrinking Violet Coutar.

We love you guys.

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