#3031 RHOM S7E19 Part 1: To All the Haitian Morticians I Loved Before

56m

This is part one of a two-part recap

We open with a newsbreak. Wendy Osefo was arrested! Part 2 of The Real Housewives of Miami reunion finds Julia trying to make a storyline out of patting Adriana’s fyah, but a laundry list of the other people she’s cheated with muddies the waters. Also, there’s a heart stopping gift presented. To watch this recap on video, listen to our bonus episodes, and participate in live episode threads, go to Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens.

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Transcript

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Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappens.

I'm Ronnie.

That's Ben over there.

Hello, Ben.

Hi, Ronnie.

How's it going?

Good.

Everybody, welcome to Real Housewives of Miami Reunion Part 2.

Here we go.

Very big day.

If you want to watch us on video, you find Crappins on Demand at patreon.com.

It's also where you find our bonus bonus episodes.

This week we did some online shopping together.

And also every other Monday we do crappy hour.

On the Mondays we're not doing that.

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Find information in our link in bio on Instagram.

And that's it.

Are you ready for this

completely bonkers day?

I am absolutely ready for this Miami redo.

Oh, no.

Oh, what?

What is happening?

Oh, it's a press conference.

What could it be?

Oh, my God.

What could be happening in the world?

Wait,

it looks like

Wendy

Acefo is coming to a podium to discuss something.

Dr.

Wendy, what happened?

What's the announcement here?

I have been wrongfully arrested.

Seven counts of fraud, 16 charges to something or other.

Something about Birkenbag saying they were stolen.

They were stolen.

Okay.

They were stolen.

I don't know why they're coming after me.

Wendy and Happy Eddie were arrested.

Arrested, Ed.

Arrested.

Arrested.

This is shocking.

I woke up.

I woke up to this.

They were, this is the first thing I read when I woke up.

I'm not even joking.

There was an email.

I looked at it.

I was like,

Wendy and Eddie arrested, booked on criminal fraud charges.

Apparently, the long and the short of it is that last year, they claimed they were robbed.

I don't remember if we discussed this on a happy hour, a crappy hour or not.

I think maybe we did.

It was this minor headline that Wendy and Eddie were robbed of about $20,000 or $26,000 of like jewelry or whatever.

And then they were arrested today because it turns out the jewelry was not stolen, but it was returned from where it was purchased.

So now both of them have been arrested for insurance fraud and reporting a false

false burglary.

Well, first, the ring, she said some of her jewelry was, and by the way, this is all information we're getting from TMZ and stuff.

So who knows?

But so far, far what we know is, yeah, what you said, that they were robbed.

They said all this stuff was stolen.

It was a lot of Birken bags and jewelry.

There was a picture of her wearing the ring that she said was stolen in a post after, which is not very smart.

Wendy, it also reminds me of Kyle Richards when Kyle Richards was like, oh, I got all this jewelry stolen.

And people were like, you're still wearing that jewelry.

And she's like, I had it remade.

And where there was all that.

And then she thought she saw her mom's ring on a boardwalk of a psychic, like a psychic on a boardwalk.

She saw the ring and then was accusing the psychic of stealing the ring.

I mean, something crazy.

But anyway, that was then.

This is now.

So apparently, she was wearing this ring that she said was stolen in a post, and that a bunch of Birkin bags and stuff that she claimed were stolen, she had returned to the stores and gotten receipts for these purchases.

It's pretty crazy.

The amount is, God, it's like $450,000.

They claimed like $450,000 in stolen stuff.

So that's pretty big.

Yikes.

I have read another number.

No, this is crazy.

I read another number that said $20,000, but maybe that was a different thing, but that was from a different article.

It doesn't matter.

The point is, this is wild.

I am actually genuinely shocked because I just, I did not see this happening with these two.

Call me naive.

I always felt like they talked up.

She always talked up a big game.

Like, I never believed that Happy Eddie was was like as successful as she always claimed it was.

And like, really, it was just like three, four, four or five days ago that she's on the premiere saying, like, Happy Eddie is doing so well that, like, they're going to be, you know, looking to do, you know, they're going to expand in other states.

And wow, they have money.

And so to see that these two who are like,

I don't know, I just, it seemed like these two actually, despite the fact that like Wendy would like often embellish things, it seemed like these two really had their head on their shoulders, and I wasn't just did not see

crime as part of their timeline.

I didn't either.

I was no, I was completely shocked.

And listen, I think everybody should get arrested.

I'm never shocked when a housewife gets arrested.

I'm surprised how many haven't been arrested.

Like, how are Dorit and Piquet still walking around?

I don't believe Kyle Richards either, and all of her burglaries, and Teddy's, and all of that.

There's like so many weird burglaries that I just, I've never really completely bought that I'm surprised that most of them aren't in jail.

But this one, I was actually very surprised.

I didn't believe it.

I saw it the first thing I saw in the morning, like you, because we're housewives people.

So, of course, our texts are inundated.

You know, there's the tags were inundated with this news.

And I clicked on it.

And of course, the first place I went was Reddit because, you know, that's my Bible.

And so I went on there and I saw, and I did not believe it.

The pictures look fake.

I mean, the pictures, Wendy is, they both look high as fuck, first of all they look like someone came to pick them up in the middle of the night they were watching you know the ed gain show and laughing their asses off you know monster or whatever just laughing their asses off high on their own supply they look crazy wendy's smiling like the joker yeah

she's take some lessons from countess luan though like like countess luan is like still the high watermark for like mug shots not just for bravo but like maybe for society like that countess luan mugshot was continues to be perfection wendy is more like

there's it feels like like the movie poster for smile i'm like uh-oh

is something gonna attack me now yes yes i love like people are actually making movie posters of smile with wendy on the cover which is really funny a lot of memes yes a lot of memes going oh wow that's so funny i didn't even see that yeah it's

it's just uh it's a lot it's a lot i didn't believe it and eddie just looks stoned as fuck i mean he really looks crazy so this was about i will say it does look good for their weed because you know one of the side effects for weed can be paranoia i mean i don't even smoke weed anymore i'll take a gummy occasionally or whatever but i used to be a huge pothead i mean every day multiple times a day for years and decades and um i kind of slowed down on that and then when i went back to it i i got the paranoia back again so strong and i don't think that they have that in the happy eddie strain because these two look high as fuck and they are enjoying the hell out of this.

They look like this is the funniest night of their life.

So I'm hoping that there's been some kind of mistake, obviously,

because Wendy can be an obnoxious asshole sometimes.

But I think ultimately she's funny and she's earned her place on this show.

And I really like having someone have the high ground on a housewife show.

And I feel like she's got the high, she's had the high ground for a long time where she can't on high ground right now.

but i've enjoyed her judgy moral high ground so i

see her lose it but i actually hate this for them um i had a few like immediate thoughts first of all um i mean this is bravo so we have to comment on this wendy yes her smile looks a little crazy she looks like she's 24 like great like who knew that a mugshot lighting was really like her best friend i mean she looks so young um second of all she looks so natural.

Like, really, she looks great.

I mean, we know, we all know she's had a million surgeries because she did it on the show.

You know, she came back with a million surgeries.

But I mean, they've really settled.

I mean, she looks great.

I, um, in fact, she looks so young that when I saw these pictures, I thought, oh, is this like an archival arrest that they just dug up?

That's how old, that's, that, that's how young I thought she looked.

I did think about, I felt like actually genuinely, like, I felt really bad gutted for those kids.

Like, I felt like, I mean, really just that my heart broke for them because this is not easy for the, you know, for kids.

And then, um, then I thought of Wendy's mom and I was like, oh, man.

Oh, Wendy's.

First, I thought

her Susan's her name, right?

She was, I was like, oh, she's going to destroy Wendy.

And then I thought, what if Wendy's mom is actually the one behind this?

Like, what if Wendy's mom is the one who like returned the stuff and they're taking the fall for Wendy's mom?

Because I'm not going to rule that one out either.

I feel like Wendy's mom will be like, I'm the mother.

You go to jail for your mother after everything I did for you.

She has all the purses.

She's like sitting on the couch that's made out of Birkenbanks.

Yeah, I don't know.

I'll bet the mom blames Eddie's mom, though.

Oh, 100%.

I have a question.

I have a question.

Are you arrested because you stole wicks?

Are you a wick stealer, candle stealer?

Hello, this is Karen Hugo.

I'm here to make my first post jail appearance here at this press conference.

And I just would like to say that to Wendy, jail, it's not for the it's not for the small wicked.

If you've got three wicks, you're never going to survive.

You're going to need five wicks to get through the pen, to get through the hen house, to get through sing sing.

So, good luck to you because it's not going to be easy, Wendy.

Oh, man,

crazy.

Well, I guess we'll have to.

I just see what happens.

I'm assuming all the camera people in Potomac are scrambling this morning, getting over to Wendy's house.

Oh, my God, seriously, they really, they really have their hands full over there in that county.

I'm not going to lie.

So, so the headline that the email that I saw this morning, someone had sent us an email that forwarded

an article.

And so the headline, the article said, Real Housewife star, husband charged in Maryland with fraudulently reporting burglary theft.

I'm not going to lie.

My first thought was, well, Juan Dixon.

I was like, this has got to be Juan Dixon.

You know, he's like, I was like down on his luck.

You know, I think he's, does he, is he coaching or whatever?

So in my mind, I was like, it's probably someone who's like not on the show anymore.

They're scrambling.

So I thought Juan Dixon.

I don't know if there was anyone else that I like, maybe,

I didn't feel like it would be Chris Samuels.

I feel like Chris Samuels has a lot of money.

So in my mind, I was like, oh, God, this is going to be a Juan Dixon story.

And then to see that it was Wendy and Eddie, I was

Shakta.

Well, the whole situation is Shikakta.

So I guess, you know what?

We're just going to have to wait and see what happens.

Okay.

Maybe it's going to be a big misunderstanding.

Who can't wait to see this play out on Potomac?

It's going to be great.

And you know what's going to be great about it?

Karen is like,

I'm off the hook.

So next, next season of Potomac, ooh, it's going to be a doozy.

I'm already excited.

Yeah.

Wow.

Okay.

Well, here we go.

That's not the only thing happening in the world.

Real House Was from Miami Part 2 had one of the best reunions

ever.

Ever.

All time, probably, right?

I watched, no, it was 100%.

I don't think I've ever laughed as much through a reunion episode as I did last night.

I was like, this is one of the classics.

This is one of the funniest ones.

This is, it's like, there's no use proselytizing while we're doing the Miami recap because most people who don't watch Miami, I'm assuming are not listening to our Miami recap.

But if for some chance you just are listening and you don't watch Miami, like you, you like the way that you are missing out is is so deep and so hard because this reunion episode like we don't even deserve this reunion episode it was it was just that funny it was that amazing really really solid solid work all around and i just like that There are so many things that would traumatize other housewives and make it like they could be such victims about it.

I mean, Adriana basically just got outed, first of all.

Like you can't, like, we're in 2025.

You're not supposed to be outing people, you know, like stuff like that.

There's like a lot that people could be victims over, and they're not.

They're just like, you know what?

No, fuck you.

Okay.

You fucked with a Haitian mortician and had to buy him a coffee maker.

Like,

there were just so many moments.

Like, did you have sex?

No, I don't have a dick.

The way also that they would cut to various women on the sofas laughing, like Alexia would laugh, or Stephanie was like losing, was

dying with laughter.

It was like an old-fashioned sitcom with like a laugh track, you know, like the reason why you have a laugh track there is like when you're watching, it's like, oh, that was funny.

It's like, oh, yeah, other people found that funny too.

And now it's even funnier to me.

And like, that's kind of how this episode was.

Like, every time I saw them laughing, I would just start to laugh too because it was like contagious for me.

No one can keep a straight face.

And you've got both sides of the couch, right?

You've got each side of the couch is on one side, right?

There's like Team Adriana on one side, and then you've got Team Gertie on the other.

I mean, not Team Gertie.

It's more like Team Julia and Team Anti-Julia.

Yeah, you've got Team Julia on the other side.

And

the teams are trying to fight for their team, right?

So whenever something would happen, you know, where Julia was accused of something, they'd be, no, no, no, no, like, that's not true.

Like, but what about you?

Like, and then same for Adriana.

Her people would come find, but the things that were coming out of both Julia and Adriana's mouths were so crazy that even their teams had to be like, wait, what?

Like they had to keep stopping in the middle of their defense because it's too crazy.

Like, how am I standing up for this person right now?

It was,

it was so remarkably funny.

Like, it was like.

These are these moments where I get like on my soapbox about like, these shows are brilliant.

These shows are so deeply hilarious.

And, you know, like they deserve more respect by like wider pop culture.

And

the Nobel Peace Prize.

We're at the Nobel Peace Prize to these ladies, you know?

Yeah.

People are fighting over the Nobel Peace Prize over there.

It's like, give it to them.

And I, you know, I have to say, I have to really applaud Andy's growth as a reunion moderator over the past like 15 years because what's so funny is that someone will make a claim.

I'm just like, I don't have a specific example here, but I'm going to try to make one up.

And Andy is now become someone who's so good at a deadpan question.

Where, like, if Adriana is like, she had to give him a coffee maker, and you'll be like, wait, wait, wait, the coffee maker, um, what type of coffee maker was it?

Like, he'll like some bullshit question with a straight face that is like a troll question.

He does it so often, and like, he's just become so good at that.

I know there's so many questions he could ask, and he's like, Wow, coffee, huh?

I'm like, What kind of coffee maker?

All right, well, let's get into it because there's a lot there's a lot to unpack here as andy would say

so um

we pick up where we left off which is where julie's like andy i know something that you don't know but adriana knows in

i would like to bring clarity

in the hamptons adriana and i slept together Don't, don't, don't.

Everyone's like, what?

And Adriana just starts laughing her ass off.

And then after she said, wait a minute, minute, you're married.

You're married.

Lisa Hoxteen.

How could she play?

I already knew that this, what Julia was saying was true by Adriana's strange laugh because Adriana is the queen of like, I didn't do that.

I didn't say that.

Like, that's 100% what she does.

So the fact that like, she had no response for this, so she had to do like a, like a casual laugh, like, oh, this is ridiculous.

I was like, okay, Adriana's busted.

This 100% happened.

And in fact, we know it happened gurdy

is not really denied yeah no no well i mean it's you know it's the bill clinton thing like what is sex yeah you know what is it what is it really

depends on what the definition of is is yeah what's the definition is so uh gurdy's like wait does she mean like sleeping like sleep sleep or does she mean like

like what kind of sleeping this could be like i need clarity i need clarity you mean like sex like sex or like sleeping the bed like sex like like sex?

Yeah, it's like Andy.

But what if, if someone's not a basketball player, is it considered sex still like?

But was it just like with feet like?

Because that doesn't like count.

Like I feel like feet doesn't count.

Although you can count on your feet like I do that on my videos like Andy's like, Andy's like, so you two slept together during the cast trip to the Hamptons four years ago.

So we see a flashback to 2021 and

the scene where Adriana got naked and the bathtub and everything.

And they were all over each other that whole trip and feeding each other and getting each other up against walls and kissing each other.

And

yeah, so we see all that.

And Kiki's like, wait, was it after the engagement?

Oh, no, it was before our friend engagement.

It was before.

So now we see the flashback of the friend engagement of her being like, Adriana de Mora promised me you would be my best friend forever

and everybody clapping.

And so it was before the friend engagement.

And Lisa's like, make it make sense.

I was ashamed.

I was embarrassed.

I still am.

Oh, please.

You're so embarrassed that you just adopted two little boys and have your wife over there taking care of them and then come on national TV and talk about how you've been fucking around.

Are you nuts?

Aren't you crazy?

What is wrong with with you?

Well, I, I actually, I, it's funny because I believe this.

I, I kind of believe both of them, honestly.

I think they both are telling the parts of the story that best serve them.

I do believe that they hooked up.

I do believe it made things weird.

I do believe Adriana became, I do 100% believe Adriana is the type that would say, you know, if you be friends, be friends with Alexia, I'm going to tell everyone that this happened.

Like, I 100% believe that.

But

I, and so I, I, I can imagine imagine that that that is something but i i also believe adriana that julia probably did have some other affairs going on i mean no what no one brought up which i was shocked about was that it was like two seasons ago when lars is like my friend like julia saw you like kissing and mad like in hotel like i was like we've already had this storyline in fact so i was surprised they didn't circle back to that i was too actually because yeah that makes that seem a lot more true these days.

So Julia's like, by the way, Martina knows.

But why are you bringing it up then?

Why are you bringing it up?

No one has to even know that.

What are you doing?

Like, what are you going to do?

Like, hire her a vocal coach and try to make her an American Idol star now, Lenny.

Because that's what Lenny's up to with his newest Russian that he's procured for himself.

He's got her vocal lessons and posting on Instagram videos of her.

Right.

She's just like, oh my God.

It's my

singing the rose.

I'll just have everyone sing the rose this year.

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So Julia's like, for one reason, I was living in mental psychological abuse by Adriana for two years.

And Gurdy's like, oh, wow.

And everyone's like, oh,

you guys are like being very insensitive because Gertie, Lisa, and Adriana, Adriana just like laugh at like, oh, this is ridiculous.

Oh, please.

Oh, please, Julia, walking around sticking your tongue down everybody's throat all the time, doing this stuff on camera all the time.

I'm so sure you were mentally and psychologically abused.

Give me a fucking break.

Well, this is where Julia loses it because I think for sure.

Adriana made her life hell about it.

I don't doubt that at all.

But like where Julia should, Julia should have told the story and said, I'm bringing this up because this was, this was a mistake on my part to go down this path with Adriana.

And it made our friendship forever weird.

And we tried to act like it was fine, but it wasn't.

And it introduced an element of intimacy that got in the way of the friendship and it snowballed.

And now this is where we are now.

Like, that's what she should have said.

But instead, she's like.

We made out and now I'm abused.

It's like, oh, no.

Like, for sure, say that Adriana held it over your head, but like, you're, it's like, it's like, you can't really take anyone's side, I feel like, because you see them say one thing that feels like the truth, and then they say bullshit at the same time.

I take sides.

I take Audrey's side for sure on this.

I don't believe Julia for two seconds.

Julia, we've seen Julia come on to every single person on this show, try to make out, try to make it that she's like having sex with multiple people all the time.

That's like her vibe on the show.

And that doesn't mean that those kind of people, I'm not, I guess that can sound problematic.

It's not that nothing could happen to her, but we've seen, like the clip we just saw of her and Audreya in the Hamptons, it does not look like

she's trying to make it sound like she was in a bad place with Martina and Audriana took advantage of her is what she's saying.

Yeah, see, that I don't like.

And I didn't like that at all.

That's where it's going off the rails for me.

She's like trying to make herself like this super victim of this super predator, Adriana, which if we've seen anybody with predator vibes, it's Julia.

on this show.

Well, I don't, I don't know necessarily about predator vibes, but what I do think though is that Julia is sort of like leaning into like I was, you know, manipulated or that she's like a victim in this situation.

I don't think either of them are really a victim.

I think they're just both consensual.

Predator is a strong word.

I guess I'm saying it in alien.

In comparison.

In comparison.

You know what I mean?

She's trying to make Adriana sound like a predator.

And I'm just saying, like, if anyone's been aggressive sexually on this show with people who aren't into them, it's you.

Well, I think that,

yeah, no, I think that basically.

Adriana at least hires her people from France for a a few weeks.

No, for a day player for one episode.

No, I don't.

I'm trying to help them get their after cards.

Okay.

I agree.

I think that, like, I believe Julia that it happened.

I don't think she's coming on TV and opening this can of worms,

knowing how it could actually really massively impact her.

relationship with Martina, also, which is Martina's not only the relationship, but Martina is not only a relationship, but it's also a lifestyle.

Let's not forget that.

And I don't think she's imperiling that unless like

this really happened personally, unless she's really,

unless she's really out there, unless she's really gone girling this.

But I think that, I think that should, that part is true.

But I agree.

I think that like there's not, there is a lot of talk from her about like,

she was taking advantage of me.

I mean, you were taking advantage of Adriana too.

Like you guys were both probably in a rough place in your life.

I mean, I don't know.

This is where Julia loses because she doesn't really wholeheartedly stand in this admission.

She like uses, she announces this admission, but then

tries to make herself seem like she was out of the way.

It's not just we slept together.

She sort of takes herself out of it.

It's not just over me.

Right.

It's not we just slept together and you, you, you know, used it against me.

It's, you know, you knew how vulnerable I was.

I was grieving the departure of my daughters.

You knew my marriage had trouble, big trouble.

And you did this to me.

She's like, oh, yeah, I did it to you.

Right, right but i trusted you and i felt like i was muzzled by adriana i was ashamed of myself i was scared she controlled my life she controlled my friendships with the women in the group and i'd like that adriana's defense is like because you were supposed to be on my side like

yeah like

she's her her view is of course i was trying to get you to stay on my side you're supposed to be on my side i didn't have to blackmail you i was literally telling you you're supposed to be my friend yeah and then andy's like so you were worried she was gonna tell martina or the women yes because she was blackmailing me with this she kept telling me you are here because of me you are your paycheck to me she was going to tell goats i was so scared so yeah but you are here because of her and you do owe your paycheck to her she got you on the show and last week when she was saying no one would have ever find you in that shitty place you lived wasn't she referring to the farm where she found her i mean you were in the middle of nowhere she brought you on to this,

she brought you onto this TV show to give you something to do.

I think that she can say that stuff without blackmailing you over sexual stuff.

In other words,

what I'd love is that Adriana then is like, I gave you the opera idea, everything, everything, as if the opera thing is somehow like a benchmark of Julia's success.

Like, Adriana, I don't know if I would brag about that on the reunion that you gave Julia the idea to follow opera.

It has not really been a true success on anyone's ears or in anyone's hearts.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Don't brag about the brain damage you're doing to the rest of us by inflicting that vote, that vocal influence on us, please.

Hold on, hold on.

Hold on.

Hold on.

Both versions of my brain are saying, hold on.

You slept with Julia

at the Hamptons.

Andy.

Andy's like, suddenly just process what's happening.

So Adrian's like, many times.

It's like, so, oh, well, you say many times.

What did I mean many times?

Because we're in the same bed.

It was sleeping in the same bed.

What does this mean?

What does it mean?

Wait, did you have sex with her in the Hamptons?

And she goes, no, I don't have a dick.

I can't have sex.

Which everybody, Andy literally face palms.

Like, lesbians can have sex, people, women have sex with each other.

He goes, you could have sex without a dick.

And she goes, not really.

Not really.

Okay, okay.

So obviously it's true, right?

So then Stephanie's like, like, it's called scissoring.

Mara's all like, oh, I know.

I mean, God.

And he's like, okay, you did not sleep with her in the Hamptons.

No, we slept, we kissed, but that was about it.

It's like, okay, so you kissed, yeah.

No, but I never scissored anybody.

He's like, I never scissored anybody.

Love that.

I've never scissored.

I don't like pussy.

Andy, I'm not your girl.

Okay.

Adriana, you never blackmailed me.

You never blackmailed me.

You never forgave me.

And she's like, never blackmail you.

I'm very blunt.

You know what?

And you never said I'm going to say.

Oh, you know what it is?

Do you know why you feel this little?

Because you're an imposter.

You're a fraud.

And you have imposter syndrome.

So you're trying to pretend something that you're not.

Okay.

Adriana, you just wanted to invite me to.

What's your real name?

What's your real name?

Ask her her real name.

Because I don't change my name.

I don't change my name.

Your real name is Yulia.

There, there.

Her name is Yulia.

She has changed the pronunciation of her name in America.

Imposter.

Andy, can I take this lovelier microphone off of my dress and drop it on the ground?

Because that's what I was.

Mike dropped.

Yulia, Yulia.

He's like, what is your point?

My point is that everybody changes their name.

My point is, we have a spy in this room.

We have a spy.

And her name is Yulia.

He's like, Well, excuse me, changing your name from Yulia to Julia.

It's like, but my point is, I could say my name is Adrianne.

I could be an Adrienne,

yeah, but she's not like she changed her name from like Sally, you know, that would have been dramatic.

Are there still people named Sally?

Hey, why do you change your name then?

Yulia, why do you change it?

He's like, I would like to know, Mary Sol, what's your reaction?

I love that he doesn't even care.

He's just like, Mary Saul, what's your because he doesn't know what to do, and there's kind of silence.

So he goes, so,

Mariusa, what's your opinion?

She's like, ah, the answer, me, oh, me, God,

I have to answer this.

Listen, I believe a lot of things.

Okay, one night or what happens.

It could happen.

I've tried it so many times with Dick.

Didn't really happen there, but with other people, sure could.

All right.

Well, do you believe Adriana, who you've known longer than most people in this room who would hold that over, would hold that over her in some way.

And she's like,

probably.

All right.

Well, who here believes that Adriana and Julia had an affair?

So everyone on Julia's side raises their hands, but everyone on Adriana's side keeps their hands down.

Stephanie gets her, she puts her hand up.

Stephanie's also like doubled over, tears coming out of her eyes, laughing.

I mean, she is.

But

I was watching this with Dom, and Dom at one point turned and goes, every time that lady in green starts to laugh, I lose it.

I was like, yep.

But wait, wait.

An affair is a long time.

So was it sex or was it an affair?

Okay, not a fair.

Or do you believe they had sex?

And so they're, you know, they, they all believe it basically.

So then Lars is like, I mean, Lisa, come on, Lisa, why aren't you raising your hand like Lisa?

Like, come on, Lisa, like, she's like, no, no, no, this is what I think.

You're the married one and she's not.

So how, so come on.

And I agree, Julia, you're trying to like point the finger at her.

You're the married one.

She didn't cheat on anybody.

But Alexia's like, no, no, no, because she had an affair with the married woman.

So she's just as bad.

She's just as bad.

Alexia does a lot of the nose up in the air work in this reaction.

The nodding with her head up in the air.

Yeah.

So then Kiki is like, okay, I have to say something.

A lot of people I'm hearing say, but you're married.

But listen, guys, some people, they marry her and they have open relationship.

The spouses know they sleep sleep or they cheat and they tell their spouses what they did.

Does she know?

Does she know?

Does Martina know?

Or is she going to be surprised that she's got some Russian singing, you know, Whitney Houston songs on Instagram suddenly?

And that's how she finds out.

Oh, I don't know who this Whitney Houston is.

But I told Martina six months ago.

Maybe it was eight months ago.

But like not when it happened.

Hold on.

Does Martina know that you were going to say this tonight?

is she mad do we want to get her on face i'm yes she does know of course it was all planned

yes well she cried she cried very hard well and when she cried it's really more like she threw a tennis ball at wall and then went out for many hours and came back with a smile on her face and said that she attracted on curse effort and threw a racket at her head and made her feel all better

Yeah, this whole Julia trying to, speaking of moral high ground, trying to have the moral, like, yes, of course I've talked to Martina about you just talked to her six months ago about something that happened four years ago stop acting so high and mighty so she's like yeah she cried and um why did she say it tonight and she's like because there's just so many misconceptions i cannot speak my truth this changes nothing you were close with her way after that thing in the hamptons happened you turned on her this year when you became close with the other ladies it doesn't change any of that it doesn't matter that your hoo-ha's your hoo-ha's twiddled.

I think it does, actually.

I think, but she's just losing her case because she's not presenting it properly.

I think it changes because it's like, we all know, we know, like when friends have sex, like it's, this is the basis of so many like rom-coms and stories, whatever, like things get weird afterwards.

Not always.

Sometimes it's fine, but like it is something that happens.

And like, clearly things got weird and they were, they were close afterwards, but like, you know, something was there that was not addressed.

And it was a lie that Julia had that she had not told Martina.

Like, this is going to eat away, and there's going to be problems.

And eventually, Julia is probably not going to want to have to face her guilt about what she did.

So, she's going to want to move away from Adriana and move towards the other women.

Like, it actually, to me, does shed some light on how it happened.

The problem is that Julia is not really accepting her role in that.

She's not really saying, she's not being accountable for like, I, every time I saw Adriana, it reminded me of how I betrayed Martina, and it was hard for me.

And so I, I, I, I sort of drifted away from her.

And on top of that, she was also being really possessive of me, which was also unpleasant.

Like, that's all she really had to say.

And I think so many people would have gotten it.

I don't buy anything.

Like you said, she's doing it all.

I think she's doing it all sanctimoniously here.

And it's not right.

I don't buy anything.

Like the way that you're saying it, I think makes a lot of sense, but I just don't believe it because it's Julia.

And we see how Julia acts with everybody, how she's flirty, how she's constantly making.

I think

Audrey was doing this stuff on camera.

She was basically fucking her up against the wall on camera.

We just saw it in the clips.

They were like kissing.

They were doing this friend engagement.

They were doing like the, you showed me what love is, that whole speech.

They were doing this whole thing on camera.

So I don't think that Adriana would have taken that as like an affair.

I think she would have taken it as like, this chick is like.

Always, she's very sexual.

She's very sexual with all of her friends and other people, because obviously we find out later that Audrey knows a lot of other people that Julia has had sex with.

So I think Adriana probably looked at it as like, this is somebody who's in kind of an open or a loose relationship.

And I don't really think it's that big of a deal.

I think if Adriana really thought, oh, I'm fucking over Martina Navratilova right now, she would have been a little more subtle about it and not just

so out about it.

So I think Julia probably fucked around with Adriana so she could hold it over Adriana's head and say shit like this, like, oh, Adriana's just crazy.

She's so in love with me.

You know, we, you know, blah, blah, blah.

Julia's the one entrapping everybody into these weird situations.

And then now she's going to come back and make it like, oh, I'm the victim here.

And I was entrapped into this situation.

No, you were the one like forwarding all of these situations.

And I think that she's probably using something like that to look like a victim now.

That's how I look.

I actually, I don't think that either as far as I can throw her.

Well, that's, that's a whole separate issue,

which I agree with.

I, uh, I don't think either of them entrapped each other.

And I agree.

I think that Adriana probably thought that this was like sort of an open thing or whatever.

It's like, oh, whatever.

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My issue was not about whether or not they were having an affair or like whether or not like Adriana is at fault because they like slept together.

I don't think it's, I think they were consenting adults.

And I think the worst,

I think Julia as someone being in a relationship where it was not open, like that, like she is the one who, who, who had the infraction.

But I'm just saying, like, regardless of whatever the context was, like, it's going to just make their relationship weird.

And it's going to like give insight.

The reason why it changes things for me is it just, it just gives me more insight as to why the two of them fell apart.

You know, and so

I guess I would argue that I don't think it made things weird because I think that it was just like normal for being friends with Julia.

I think it was normal in that friendship for them to be very sexual with each other.

I don't see like how them kissing and doing all the stuff that they were doing on camera, how patting someone's puss is really that much different.

I mean, unless she's saying they were having like a full-on affair or something behind Martina's back, which isn't what she's saying.

She's saying they were like lightly fooled around one night because even Julia can't answer the questions later.

I mean, it sounds like they just basically had a light fooling around night wasted that we saw even on camera.

We saw them waking up.

Even if it's just that, though, even if it's just that, if it's something that she didn't feel comfortable telling Martina for two years, that's going to, in my mind, that's going to cause some shit.

Like that's going to

be right, except that it was all on camera.

Most of, most of this stuff was on camera.

like martina would have been so completely uncomfortable just seeing the way they were kissing and doing all that stuff on on tv on national but you know what though i i don't think it's like a huge step that they like actually i don't think this was at the bus moment i don't know if this was honestly okay i'll say this my takeaway from all the back and forth and sort of the the dodges and whatever i kind of got the impression that they ate each other out

like that's what i that's that's sort of what i or at least one of them did.

Like, I kind of got that, that impression.

So it was like, to me, a little bit more than just like the on TV, like flirtations or whatever.

I sort of got the impression that it was, like, maybe it wasn't sex, like Adriana said, but like, I was like, I feel like it was something.

Actually, it might not even be eating out, but there could be like some fingering or whatever.

But I got the sense that there was something a bit more

than just like what we saw on TV.

I get it.

I don't know.

The whole point is the way that Julia and Adriana have been acting on camera for four years now

is like girlfriends.

They've been acting in a way that if I was with Julia and I was worried about that, I would be very hurt already.

Okay.

I would be like, why are you acting like this with another woman on TV?

It's fucking gross and it's disrespectful and it's rude.

So whatever they've been doing on camera, whether it's sex, whatever, whatever happened, the way they've been acting so far has been totally out of bounds.

If I was in a relationship with that person, I would be like, what the fuck is going on?

So I think my only point is I don't think it's a big deal because one little step further isn't much more disrespectful than they've already been acting.

They've already been acting so

completely disrespectfully that I don't think it would be that big of a deal if they like like hooked up drunkenly one night, lightly.

You know what I mean?

It might not be a big deal.

That's me.

But I think maybe it's coming from like a gay man who sees like kind of open-ish relationships constantly where there are certain rules in the relationship where, you know, if you do this, you're going too far.

And I can see that maybe she took it like a step further than she was supposed to, but I just don't, I just don't see it being

that Julia would have hooked up with Adriana to anybody.

But I think it's the lie.

I think it's that Julia.

like kept it inside for those like so matter even if all they did was just like spoon if julia felt like she couldn't tell martina for two years because she felt like on she had done something wrong, whether or not it was light or like consistent with what we see on TV.

I feel like the fact that she was holding on to something on the inside to me gives insight why she started to move away.

And I think that she also, like Adriana, like it would also like not surprise me if Adriana was like, you know, I'm going to tell.

Like that she's totally like Adriana.

I believe that.

So I can understand.

And I'm not, and this is not.

Yeah, I believe that.

Yeah.

And this is not me being like, oh my God, Team Julia.

I'm just saying, like, for for me like this does give me more insight about things and i think that like i also can see julia like adriana doing that and it's like rubbing julia the wrong way and i also see julia as someone who does not fight her own battles and so she gravitates towards alexia marisol because she knows that they're gonna like basically say the things for julia that she's not gonna say herself so like i sort of see it as like a tangled web um but i don't know i ultimately i can't buy it with julia because julia's cheated multiple times and listen to when she talks about it today when, when, later, which we'll get to, this is going to be a 10-hour recap, but later when we get to it, and she's had multiple affairs.

And listen to what she says when she, when she admits it.

She's like, but we were in a bad place.

I was very hurt.

And

so I don't think it's a big deal at all that Julia had an affair.

And I don't think that she would have been worried, disworried about it because she's done it a million times.

I don't think, I don't think that this one would be like, oh, my God, she was blackmailing me.

I mean, personally, but I think you just have to agree to disagree because because I just think that like, if you're with Julia, you know, she's going to be fucking 20 other people.

And if you've forgiven it three times, you're going to forgive it a fourth.

So that's an interesting point.

So you're basically saying, like, you don't think like Julia, this is sort of like, it's almost like a Jax Taylor kind of thing where like.

Jax doesn't really harbor any guilt.

Like, this is just who he is.

And I'm not saying that she is Jax, but like she doesn't harbor any guilt.

So it's not going to eat away at her because she's not burdened by it.

Oh, that's an interesting thing.

She's cheating all the time.

I mean, even when Andy later is saying, okay, so what she's following him, trying to be like, Andy, Andy, you know,

I was so hurt and this and that.

And he's like, so did you sleep with the Haitian?

And she's like, TBD.

Like, she does.

She has no guilt.

Like, she's on TV completely humiliating her wife.

She doesn't give a fuck.

She's trying to get points over someone she's having fights with and trying to make them look like some abusive stalker when Julia is cheating all the time and obviously has no guilt about it.

So I just don't believe that she's sitting at at home like, oh my God, what's Martina going to think about this?

I just.

Also, LOL, Martina crying at home, Julia's coming, like coming onto a platform and saying crazy things when Martina's the one who like has said so many inappropriate stuff on Twitter.

So by the way, Martina, what goes around comes around.

Yeah.

Oh my gosh.

That's a whole other can of worms to go after Martina's stupidity.

Jesus Christ.

Yeah, so I'm not really crying for Martina either way, but I do think it's like pretty crazy that she just forced Martina into this adoption situation with these kids.

And now Martina is stuck at home taking care of these kids while Julia is out, like talking about how she's fucked half the, half the city.

Like, oh my God,

Lord.

So anyway, Julia is like, well, I need you to know.

that I did not ditch my best friend for any of my new friends.

I wanted all of us to be together despite the horrible secret that I had, the disgusting,

hideous secret that I met with swab monster who happens to be very old, Adriana.

And Adriana's like, okay, horrible secret.

So many secrets.

Despite being repressed by Adriana and feeling guilty, I feel guilt.

And that is why I could not have you as godmother because I felt ashamed.

Oh, bullshit.

Bullshit, Yulia.

Bullshit, spy, Yulia, spy.

Do you remember how Adriana pointed her finger at me and she said, I'm going to say it.

You're not going to like it.

And then we we see, I'm seeing footage from their fight at Stephanie's Shouja Christmas party where

Adriana is saying, Don't make me go there because I will break the fourth wall and it is not going to be pretty.

It's going to be bad for you.

So don't go there.

And she's like, I'm not scared.

She goes, okay, but I'm not scaring you.

I'll tell the truth.

You know what the truth is.

And I don't want to throw you under the bus like this, but if you keep pushing me, I will.

So we see that Adriana was threatening to release some information.

So what

if it's, And by the way, even if it's not about this hookup, we see that Adriana is definitely that person who does that.

Like she's definitely that person who says, be careful.

Otherwise, I'm going to like, I'm, I'm, I'm, like, stay in line.

Otherwise, I'm going to reveal the truth about something about you.

You know, well, welcome to Andy's life.

I've got a lot in my vault.

I've got a lot in the vault.

Okay, well, is that what you refer to?

Well, I was thinking one of the many times I was thinking she was going to say something.

Marisol's like, oh, you felt you had to, you had to say it first, get ahead of the story.

I worked in PR.

I got it.

She's like, no, I'm going to treat you the way the way you treat me.

Okay.

So basically, Julia is saying, she's saying this tonight because she thought, I think she got spooked by that comment that Adriana was going to announce this on stage.

So she's like, I'm going to beat Adriana to the punch and I will say it first.

But I do like this because Adriana is like, no, no, I would never say that because I'm not that person because I would not destroy your marriage.

Okay.

I love Martina.

I respect Martina.

She's my only artist in my gallery.

Okay.

And those boys.

I wasn't going to destroy your household.

And Gertie's like, yeah, she didn't.

She didn't do it.

She didn't.

Which, by the way, that's an admission on Adriana's part, right?

Like her saying, I was never going to say anything about it because I love Martina.

So it's like, so

there's any doubt that they did it, right?

I mean, do you have?

I have zero doubt.

I have no doubt that Adriana was acting coy, like they did nothing.

And like, obviously they did did enough of something that Adriana is saying that she would never want to hurt Martina with it.

Yeah.

So Adriana is like, well, I'm not that person, but since you brought it up, now it's on the table.

And she was in the bad place.

She was in the bad place.

So bad place.

Yeah.

She was cheating on Martina with a Haitian mortician.

That's right.

That's right.

And that's when you told me everything.

You were with a Haitian mortician and you used to take him to a motel and you would pay for the motel and you would bring champagne and you had to give him a coffee machine as a gift

you forgot about that little bit so i think this is what she could have been blackmailing her with she could have been like listen i know i know all the people that you fucked so you want me to bring them up on tv

it could have been that it could have been that that's true so everyone's laughing by that very specific detail about the coffee maker and andrew goes bitch she goes wow easy i keep your cool oh and then there's more then she also had another lover a cop a cop who she had to bring a waffle iron to.

She gave a lemon zester to an off-duty nurse.

Did you know that she had to bring a mini food processor, a little one for nuts, to someone who worked at toll booth?

She bought an egg cracker for a garbage man.

Basically, Julia's like a cuisine art ambassador, but also like

a wildly sexual being.

She's a lady who likes sex with people and gives them household appliances in return.

Is it an affair if she also enriches your kitchen?

So they're all like cracking up.

Like, cause this is honestly like, I mean, we are, we're still recovering from the revelation that Julia's name used to be Yulia.

And it's like, and now we have the bombshell that there's a Haitian mortician who benefited by getting a coffee maker of some sort.

Mr.

Coffee, truly.

And a cop who apparently got nothing, which is too bad.

And I like the Adriana just goes, bitch.

Like, I told you, bitch, I let the coffee machine out of the bag.

The coffee machine is out of the bag, bitch.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

Okay, here comes an Andy Cohen deadpan question.

Hold on.

Okay, hold on.

I want to know one thing.

Why did you have to buy the Haitian mortician a coffee maker?

I don't know what she's talking about oh you know what she's talking about drip drip

um so did you have these affairs also Julia well I shared with Adriana in confidence so yes you did in certain situations I had yes and Martina knows but I said it to her and that's oh okay so it's okay

so so you have

so it's all okay

lady

So you have a pattern of cheating.

You're a liar and you're a cheater.

So she goes, well, whatever I am, Edinado, right now, you're malicious.

No, you have zero leg to stand on, ma'am, when you just brought this up to be malicious to her.

Sorry.

So Andy's like, are you in an open relationship?

No, I no, I'm not in open relationship whatsoever, but I am in open relationship in giving cuisinar to people.

So everyone, I just want to say that you are all getting air fryer later this afternoon.

Thank you.

And Martina knows she knows all about this.

even my daughters know about it even my daughter's cleaning lady knows about it i gave her an egg timer okay this is true and i told adriana in confidence and now maliciously she is trying to shame me you're shaming her who out somebody on national tv

i like that she says that even her daughters know uh This is also moments after she says one of the reasons why she had an affair was because she was missing her daughters.

So was the conversation like, I just want you girls to know that because you left home, I cheated on Martina with Adriana and Mortician

and the coffee maker.

I had promised to you, unfortunately, I have had to send away.

I apologize.

You have a mask, okay?

You, you are not the face that you say you have.

You are promiscuous, and you cheat on your wife, and I'm the bad guy.

I'm the bad guy now.

Oh, you said,

please, Adriana.

He's like, okay, we need to take a break.

So they go to break.

And Andy's like, you guys need to make up because this is a housewives reunion.

So you're supposed to make up.

Oh, really?

Well, until this promiscuous thing, you know, goes around and tries to make me the bad guy, I would make up.

But now, but now,

unless you tell the truth, there's no moving forward.

Did I say you're the bad guy?

No, I did not.

I just said that you tricked me into having sex with you so that you could control me and abuse me.

When is this calling you bad guy?

Because she's a serial cheater i did not say you were bad oh come on that would never go go for you you dirty little whore

so she gets up and julia's insisting that she did not call adrian a bad guy but she did say that

you did say that she was abusing you and was malicious and um was blackmailing you which i'm pretty sure is not what we see in like i don't know julia roberts or by the way julia roberts can i say something just as long as please i'd love some julia Roberts news.

She was on Watch What Happens Live earlier this week, and they were posting this clip about like how Julia Roberts is like, you know what?

I love Real Housewives of Miami.

I mean, that is what a funny show.

And then Andy was like, really?

Wow.

And he's asking her questions.

And she was like, oh, when Julia, when Julia said that she had slept with another castmate and the, the recipient of that did not seem happy.

I was like, Julia Roberts, you do not watch the show.

You don't know Adriana's name.

You called her the recipient of it.

And she's like, oh, and Stephanie, what a great first season.

I mean, she really came on all prim and proper.

I was like, who made someone made Julia Roberts a highlight reel so she could have her talking points for Watch What Happens Live?

And I appreciate doing the homework.

I really do.

But like, you can't fool us, okay?

If you cannot, no, if you do not know Adriana's name, you cannot tell us that you are a Miami fan.

And if you would like to refute this, you are welcome to come on to Watch What Happens and Watch What crappens discuss on crap yet.

We'll educate.

You will always accept Julia Robbie.

We should have a spin-off podcast just educating Julia Roberts about things she needs to know about housewives.

Because Emma Roberts is a big Bravo fan.

But Julia Roberts, I'm like,

listen.

And like I said, if she wants to come on here and set the record straight, I will always make room for Julia Roberts.

But I felt like she should have known Adriana's name.

It made me put an eyebrow up in the air.

about that one.

We do not believe you, Julia Roberts.

However, we do still love you.

Hey, everyone.

This is the end of part one of this recap for part two.

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