#3029 RHOSLC S604 Part One: Warm and Muzzie

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Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens?

I'm Ronnie, and that's the gorgeous Ben

Von Den Mandelka over there.

Hi, Ben.

Hi, how are you?

Good.

Welcome to the show, everybody.

It is a very special episode.

It is a toxic mother's episode of Watch What Crapins.

Salt Lake City coming down the pike.

Mom's not looking so great today.

If you've got mommy issues, this is probably not the episode to listen to because guess who else does?

Me.

And I was triggered.

I was triggered.

It's going to be a big moment.

This was the most captivating mother-daughter scene we've seen since Linda and Monica, I will say.

And that scene lives in my head.

Like that was, to me, one of the most gripping,

intense,

fascinating scenes we've ever seen on Bravo.

And then this one came right along and is right up there with it, if you ask me.

Well, I have to say, Linda and Monica at least seemed like they were having fun.

You know, like they're that kind of muddy walker who fight to the death and they just like they seem like that's so fun.

You know, that they do it every day, they kick each other out, they steal each other's cars, you know, whatever's going on with them.

They seem to be enjoying it.

This was not as enjoyable to me.

This, I mean, that was like a fun romp compared to this.

Jeez, good lord, Muzzy.

Muzzle that woman.

Take it, take it, Take it from her name and muzzle Muzzy.

That's what I say.

Well, Linda and Monica, I don't think anything's really going to live up to that.

Also, that, that scene was so intense and it was so long.

It like literally had a commercial break in the middle of it and still kept on going because there was so much.

And on top of that, you had Linda talking to like a plant in the corner to just

social

and like eating guacamole for dessert.

Like it was so unhinged and there was so much that they were unpacking.

It was so, it was like a one-act play.

This one though was, this one was, was a doozy though.

I mean, it was, I, I was, I was clutching.

And I was also thinking about you, Ronnie, the entire time.

I was like, ooh, Ronnie is going to be on one tomorrow.

That's what I was thinking last night when I was watching it.

I was like, I'm just going to listen.

You know,

my parental issues, I'm older now.

I'm calmer.

We've discussed it all.

We don't have the issue.

But let me tell you, those, those old scars, man, they start burning, you know, when I see shit like this.

And it wasn't just Bronwyn.

I mean, it was Mary talking about her mother.

And then you've got that nitwit, Brittany talking about her daughters.

And Whitney, of all people, who's like, storyline is finding a pole again.

It's like, oh, Jesus Christ is

lecturing.

Truly, that's her storyline.

Lecturing Britney.

I mean, the whole thing was just a gift.

to anybody with mommy issues.

It's like, there's just so much.

But as usual, before we get into it, Crappy Hour is every other Monday.

We just did one this week.

It was so much fun.

5.30 Pacific Time.

Amazon Live, we're going to be doing probably weekly because we just love doing those.

So we're going to be doing those probably weekly starting soon.

Those are every other Monday for now when we're not doing the Amazon Lives.

And those are at 4 p.m.

Pacific time.

You can find those on your Amazon Prime channel or on the internet or on your phone, wherever you are.

Just come find the information in our link and bio over at our Instagram at watch what crappens.

I'm Ronnie Caram, and that's Ben Mandelker at at.

So that's that.

Let's get to this

episode, shall we?

Let's get into it.

I mean, also, you know, for all the mommy stuff, there was just, this is a good episode, actually.

Like, I have to say, I loved this episode because it was also, it gave us like a little bit of a breather from the nonstop fighting, but then it also, it had the fighting too.

And I thought there was like really like, you you know, touching moments as well.

And there was what seemed to be resolution that we know is not going to be truly resolution, but it like sometimes with these episodes, it gets really tense when people just hate each other.

You do sort of kind of crave them to just like understand each other.

So that they gave us that.

But where we pick up, we're still in the thick of it.

And basically, we're at Lisa's clarity luncheon, which I didn't realize it was called a clarity luncheon, which that's so funny.

So

basically, Lisa is like blowing her gasket because of everyone coming for her lawsuits.

And Bronwyn's saying, she asked you a question and you're hurling insults at her.

I don't remember who she said.

She asked you a question.

Yeah, she asked you.

Yeah, she asked you a question about being a crook and a thief and a liar.

I love how they gaslight on this show.

They're like, I just don't understand why you're so mad, Lisa.

Like, what are you so mad about?

That said, Lisa did have this huge thing where she's like, oh, yeah, you want to ask me a question?

Then ask me a question.

Okay, what about your business?

You're a whore.

That's the answer.

That's the answer.

You're a whore.

Okay, does anybody else have any questions?

Yeah, that was the clarity.

Cause Lisa set up this whole brunch.

Like, this is the time to put it all out on the table.

Ask me anything and I will answer anything.

And literally everything that people asked her, she was like, I don't know how to answer that.

I don't have to.

You stop taking my money.

I don't have to answer that.

At least I've been a happy family.

You're always hurling insults, Lisa.

I mean why do you have to insult insult everybody and then Whitney's like I am triggered I am leaving I am going to the elevator I cannot believe this

Whitney's Whitney's terrible acting as she's trying to stalk off to the elevator is so fucking funny and she never leaves of course and by the at the end of the fight I was like, is Britney sitting there?

They're like, okay, everybody, we're made up now.

Brittany's there.

I was like, okay, I guess she came back from the elevator.

Well, if Lisa wants to clear up these allegations, then she should be listening to our questions.

But she's an irrational toddler and I'm not going to stoop.

I'm removing myself until she tuckers herself out.

I am triggered.

So then Lisa turns to Angie and is like, you said the nastiest things about ma, which is basically Angie making the joke that Lisa's the new Genshin.

And she goes, but like, guess what?

You only own one and a half lunatic fringe salons, which, by the way, that's like a perfect, that's like something if you only own somehow one and a half salons, that's nothing to like turn your nose up about.

So, Angie's like, who told you that I own one and a half?

That's not true.

Yeah, the rest are franchised.

They're franchises.

She's like, let me help you count my cash.

I have three stations that I own and also a pint of Tsatsaki, Tsatsuki, and the rest are franchises.

It's a model I'm proud of.

Yeah, but you know what?

Be honest about what you own.

You're always like, I own 10 salons, but you own one and a half.

It's one and a half.

She's like, I do not have one and a half.

Why do I have to specify?

Hello, everyone.

My name is Angie Kay.

I am Greek, and I own seven Greek salons.

One and a half.

One and a half.

There is no one and a half.

You lie and you throw shit out there to insult me.

And so Angie tells us, I finally figured out Lisa's tactic out.

She lies to deflect and make someone else the target and everyone is tired of it but you know what they're not tired of me being greek

i love that she's figured lisa out uh it's taken a while

was it really was it really this deep of a mystery i didn't lie you know what i didn't do it to insult you you took it as an insult you just took it as an insult that you own one and a half okay and she's like you have no idea what i own so now they're fighting over how many um businesses she owns and and

goes you own french fries i own franchises you should stick to it you should stick to it i am greek and she's like what do you mean and mary goes french fries there's like french fries she said you do french fries and i do franchises and mary goes oh

that was good

it was good i was like that i was like is that going to be our like high body count hair of this season i mean it's so early i feel like like you do french fries i do franchise that is i mean that's like got levels to it i like i'm putting that one on a t-shirt like i'm gonna wear that one out i mean well i won't really wear that one out but like

i'll be like a sassy girl

i'm gonna be like a sassy girl from 2005 like in my statement t-shirt I mean, it would be better, honestly, if she had like a potato farm or something or like did french fries.

I don't know.

I need it if you're not.

If she she was from the ida family then that'd be impressive

but i mean it's a head scratcher it's a typical anti one where you have to like scratch your head after and be like wait she does french fries when did lisa come out with a line of front oh you know what i guess maybe she's talking about wendy's which is also a franchise oh my god franchise fight is that what she's saying she's talking about

you focus on getting fast food i focus on running businesses or on another level it's like you come in to like you come in to buy the fries.

I'm the one selling the fries.

Like you're the customer.

I'm I'm the manager.

I'm the fries.

It's actually like on so many levels.

It's like you're a fast food person.

I'm a business person.

You're a customer.

I'm management.

You know, you're,

there's probably a good third one there, but I petered that.

I feel so dumb that I didn't really get that she was like coming at her about Wendy's, but yeah, that is good.

Yeah.

But either, either thing isn't really a diss.

I mean, someone has a huge Wendy sponsorship.

That's kind of good.

But Angie having franchises, like having a business that's so successful that it's been franchised is also really good.

So they're like dissing each other with good things, which I like about this show.

They're keeping it positive.

I didn't think it was like a diss on the Wendy's sponsorship.

I think it was more like Lisa has really made that a big part of her personality.

Like she doesn't even like the food in Italy because it's too fresh.

She likes fast food.

Like that's her thing.

I love fast food.

I like going to Wendy's.

I like going to McDonald's.

We like going to Sonic.

Like we love fast food.

So she's just saying, like, look, that's your thing.

Your lane is that you enjoy fast food, like the trash box that you are.

And I'm in management because only good people work in business management.

Right.

But like,

that's, it was, it was cutting.

And it was, it's also cutting because Lisa has been trying to position herself as this mover and shaker.

Like she's hanged out with Blake Lively.

and Ben Affleck and all these celebrities.

And like, yeah, Tom Selak is coming to the Bita tequila lounge.

It's amazing but she's basically like you think that you're in the celebrity class you're just you're just a lady who goes to the drive-through that i own that's kind of like the implication and it's just it hits lisa like it was just a it's it's just a it was a real

it's a real humdinger

Just like you, I'm super proud of what I created, okay?

Because it's not just us.

It's not just us, mess, dust, mess, dust, mess.

She's like, okay, well, let me ask ask you this.

I invested in your son's line.

I put it on my shelf to support Jack and your family, but you are doing nothing to help market it, but you're out trying to peddle yourself to get a partnership with Karistas, someone that I've been partners with for 26 years.

And she's like, I didn't peddle it.

They love my shiny, pretty hair.

They love it.

She starts doing her two-finger comb of her hair.

They love my shiny hair.

I love how Lisa's first instinct is to

like to elevate her hair instead of saying, No, I 100% do like

market for fresh wolf.

And I do it all the time.

And the fact that you don't see my hard work shows what a shitty friend you are.

Like, that was like the obvious path forward, but instead she's like, My hair is pretty.

So, yeah, of course, I'm going to work with Karistas.

Why are you not promoting Fresh Wolf?

Promote your son's Fresh Wolf.

It is a C line.

It didn't really belong on my shelves in the first place.

Carostas belongs on my shelves.

It's actually a luxury men's grooming line, which is why I don't market it whatsoever to any sort of salons.

She's like, is it just, yeah, yeah, it is.

Well, it belongs in Walmart, which by the way,

I would be so happy to have a product that was sold in Walmart.

That's what I'm saying.

They keep dissing each other with good things.

She's like, wow, your product deserves a Walmart, a Walmart part sponsorship.

Your product deserves

to have a huge distribution across the country at affordable prices.

Mary did an interview recently and she was saying that Auntie came up to her and she's like, I have some gossip.

And she's like, what?

She goes, I saw, I think it was Lisa.

It was either Lisa or Meredith.

She's like, I saw them in a Walmart.

And thanks, my God.

Is this a huge diss?

So funny.

So that's her thing.

It belongs in Walmart.

You are very jealous.

No, bitch, you are.

You are jealous.

You question every single fucking thing I have.

Just fucking stop.

Just fucking stop.

This is ridiculous.

I mean, now you're coming from my kids' brand and calling it A-list or C-lust?

Like, oh my God, we're at a point of no return.

Nobody wants to hear the business being called a C-level business.

Can we just accept that that was not a nice thing to say?

My toddler, who happens to be part of the LGBTQ community, does say that the c word is back but apparently you cannot use it with businesses so i think that there are some apologies that are old

dag after dag after dag it's a dag that was a dag hold on hold on everyone i would like a word i do do do do do to heather let me do let me do a three finger point a monologue by heather a women's empowerment monologue from heather gay

i'm gonna do a three finger point to show how serious I am about this.

I felt like you were absolutely, totally, unfairly attacked when we went camping and you weren't there to defend yourself.

And I understand your desire to clear your name, but for you to go low and count her franchises, count her money, and then Angie, you just flipped it right back.

And you're telling her the business line that she developed with her sons is a C-line.

And that's like some sort of diss.

We are here as women.

We are here as entrepreneurs.

We are here as people who've been held back by our own daughters while we wait for them to slowly get out of the house.

And this is how we treat each other?

I say no, ladies.

We can be better.

Think about our ancestors back on the wagons coming over in long underwear.

Were they coming after each other for being too Walmart?

Were they?

Or for owning one and a half wagons instead of a franchise of wagons?

What kind of women are we?

a diss.

It is not a diss.

It is a diss.

You're doing it to be a diss, and I'm not afraid to say it to you.

You don't need to go low, and you don't need to go lower.

We all need to get in our new offices with ice mint walls and create books.

Books that millions of little girls will read for inspiration.

I want to be clear.

I want to be able to talk to you honestly, and I'm nodding my head to show that this is important to me.

This was horrible.

Horrible.

And I'm not friends with you.

Horrible.

Let me just say, not only was it horrible, it was horrifying.

It was horrifying, but mainly horrible.

And I'm not friends with you because of your legal filings or because of your tequila.

God knows it's not the tequila.

I'm not friends with you because of your sponsorships.

I'm friends with you because We have great times together being away from my daughters who hold me back year after year.

This has not been a great time.

I think you could probably say the same.

Everyone at this table could say the same, that you are a fearless, strong person.

And when you're on someone's side, you feel invincible.

But when you're against somebody, you feel completely vulnerable.

And I have felt

vulnerable.

Oh, for Christ's sake, someone pull a curtain.

Jesus Christ.

This is a poetry slam.

Take the mic.

Take the mic.

And Lisa's like, you know what?

But there's times that I felt vulnerable too.

Hey, hey, you guys, you guys.

Watch me.

I'm gonna be vulnerable, okay?

Vulnerable, vulnerable, okay?

I grew up different than everybody, so it looks different, but I'm vulnerable.

And Katsunevas, you, I love you, I love you, and I'm so sensitive when it comes to you.

Vulnerability, guys, vulnerable.

I'm being vulnerable.

She's so ridiculous.

Because when you love someone hard and when they do something to you, it hurts.

It hurts.

Wait, aren't I?

And you know what?

I thought we were in a good place.

And then it happens at camp you have a conversation at camp it's really fucking hurtful hold on a minute

this is vulnerability crying vulnerability I apologize I accept your apology in my vulnerable state And I have all those same feelings about you.

And even when I want to wring your little neck, I do love you too.

And that's why I do get emotional.

And that's why I fight back as hard as I do.

And yo, and yo, Heather, I'm your biggest champion, and I really love you, Heather.

You're extremely honest with me.

You know, even though your last name is gay, and I really don't approve because it's not in either of my religions, but you're extremely hard on me when you need to be hard on me.

And I feel like you're only as good as the people you're around.

You know what?

Yeah.

And that's why I had to get rid of my daughters, those good-for-nothing little sluts.

So thank God.

That is from my heart.

And I think you guys know, I don't say things I don't mean.

It's like I told Blake Blake Lively the other day.

I said, please stay.

Could you have a headshot you could sign?

Because I'll put it up in my premiere Vita Tequila Lounge.

You know what?

And like, Bronwyn, like there's things I see in you and I acknowledge in you.

Like I don't understand about you, even if you don't think I see it.

Like I see, I see that you could be a good person.

Like you look like someone who might want to go to Wendy's.

And I like that about you.

And Bronwyn's like, yeah, you know what?

Sometimes you may see a little frosty, but you know what?

My love for you is biggie-sized.

So, you know,

go get your like limited Shamrock Edition.

Wait a minute.

Are you just doing a frosty ad right now?

Listen, I'm sorry, but it's hard to talk to the only person who hasn't taken this hint in season two and gotten hair extensions.

I'm sorry.

Well, I want to say it clearly in front of everybody.

I did not take any pride in hearing about this stuff.

I just wanted you to stop talking about me.

And I know that i hurt you and i know that you hurt me

and when you're ready to to say that i think that's when we move forward and to end that i'll give it a triple

it's a fourth one actually

Okay, can we raise a glass to friends that love hard and hurt hard?

But I love each and every single one of you.

You know, it's important to love your fans, and I do.

So cheers, everybody.

They're like, cheers.

I love this show.

I love that five seconds ago.

They're like, fuck you, slut, you stupid whore.

You're nothing.

Your kids suck too.

Your kids can't even do business.

And five minutes later, they're like, love you.

I love you so much.

I love your posters.

You had the best posters made.

You are Greek.

I also love how when Lisa was saying, I love each and every one of you, they were showing all the women around the table.

And I was like, oh, yeah, there's that girl, Amy.

I forgot she was there.

And Whitney smiling.

Yeah, back from the elevator.

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So now let's go over to the Meredith Marks Boutique where Seth can be wacky.

It's wacky times with Seth.

So they are going to be opening a store and Meredith is like, so here's what I'm thinking.

The front part of this side should be just like this and super tiny, chic little jewelry store that people walk into.

Or if you're Jen Shaw's posse, then you can shop it from.

And then they go through the back to speakeasy caviar lounge.

And in theory, we could go up a level and go back 20 feet from the biggest caviar lounge that Park City's ever seen.

Watch up here.

We could do crazy things up here.

Maybe threesomes.

Maybe we could get Polly up here.

Oh, Seth, that's an addict.

Put Chloe on my shoulders and we can see.

Well, be careful.

And the lights up there, Chloe.

My other toddler's about to get electrocuted.

Oh, my God.

Then we go to Mary and Heather having lunch and Heather's like, I'm parched.

You know, I overdrank yesterday because I gave, you know, such a touching monologue.

I took your tequila, then I took Angie's tequila.

And Mary's like, I don't drink tequila.

I just, all I taste is medicine.

Like, it tastes like hospital.

She's like, oh, so in hospital not only has a smell, it also has a taste.

She's like, well, all smells have a a taste.

Like when you pass gas, someone would say, oh my God, my mouth is open.

And then you, never mind.

And it's like, I'm not, I don't, I'm not following.

Tasting farts.

So then we go to Whitney and Justin for my favorite scene of the episode.

I miss the old days when people would be like, Whitney Rose has a pole in her house.

So let's put the pole back up, Justin.

It's been so hard being a CEO.

I forgot about what really matters.

What really, really matters.

That's why I'm a proud member of MAPA.

Make America poll again.

So she, I also, I think she got it wrong.

I don't think people were like,

Whitney Rose has a poll in her house.

Like, oh, God, we have to watch Whitney Rose on her poll in her house again.

I don't think it was people were excited about it.

I don't think one person in America was like, oh my God,

we really need pole dancing over women being CEOs.

what is happening to this country what is happening to this country women leaving the pole to become ceos

and i like that she's just so loosely using the term ceo too she's like after my turn into ceo i forgot about what's really important

okay leona helmsley calm down over there Now I'm a CE poll.

So

she's like, well, everyone thought it was like the juiciest tea, and moms would gossip about it in Carpool, and it was like the weird around town.

And I didn't care, it made me want to do it even bigger, and more,

and louderer.

And I stuffed that away when I became a CEO.

I forgot, and the failure of my business has really taken a toll on me, a toll that only a poll can fix.

I need a poll for the toll.

But now it's an abrupt sign from the universe saying, it's like God said, get back on your course.

Stop trying to do things like business and stuff.

Get on a pole.

I love that in Whitney's mind, God is like, Whitney, this is a sign.

Get back on the pole.

And then

God spoke to me.

He spoke to me through a burning bush.

He said, Whitney, grab up, squeeze hard, slide down.

And then I like what she explains to Justin.

You know what?

It's like, you know, those flowers that like close in, but then open up.

I'm like, you mean flowers?

You mean like all of them?

I was trying to think of what she meant.

I was like a Venus flytrap.

What is she talking about?

And then they open up again like this.

And she's like bending over her butt in his face.

He's like, yeah, okay.

Just trying to figure out how to work this L wrench, honey.

Yeah.

But it's like, I had to close off.

And now that that I'm coming out the other side, it's like that kind of flower when it closes off and then it comes out the other side of the flower.

Honey, just this is, this is your husband talk to you.

Get back on the pole.

Just get on the pole.

Okay, please.

God said get on the pole.

God did not say make metaphors.

So there we go.

So then we go to Lisa and Bronwyn.

So they meet at the premiere Vita Tequila Lounge, which I think we have to go to next time we're in Salt Lake City.

And Lisa's like, Oh my god, oh my god, but Ronwyn, we're almost in the same jeans.

I'm like, not even joking.

Bronwyn's wearing this crazy graphic print that's like, it's super outre-like, it's like all these colors, all these images.

And Lisa's just like in jeans.

I was like, Lisa, you were not about to wear Bronwyn's jeans.

I'm gonna tell you that right now.

First of all, I'm not even sure that they were jeans.

They were these flowers, it was like flowy fabric with like bell bottoms and stuff.

Like, yeah, I almost wore my.

I wore the wrong pants because I have other, I'm like in like a crazy pants era and I wore these

to the recap today.

Let's see show some leg.

Oh, look at that.

That's fun.

I'm wearing my Bronwyn pants for the recap today.

You know, let's get into a little bit of the mood.

So it's fashion, guys.

It's fashion.

So yeah, we launched it in June.

We had great parties during Sundance.

Blake,

Ryan, Ryan and Blake, Blake and Ryan.

You know how it goes.

Fun people people on stage, which we love.

Bro was like, oh, that is your favorite.

And it's like,

I'm like, is that a worthy thing?

But like, yeah, she's like celebrities.

She's like, oh, you sure do love your celebrities.

Okay.

So why am I at this?

Why am I at this Costco tequila lounge?

Because

it smells flammable in here.

Well, you know, I felt like there were like so many voices yaserga and it was like hard to hear anything so i thought it'd be like good if we chatted and kind of like figured things out in the presence of the vita tequila lounge which solves everything for everyone

you know if joss baldoni had been here he could have totally fixed this with blake

damaging things were said and you know what i'm so sorry about those and i think it really stemmed from you feeling hurt about our friendship and me feeling hurt about our friendship and i don't want to sit in that space anymore.

Listen, I don't want to sit in the space of losing.

So it would be great if you didn't attack me in public anymore.

What do I have to do?

Okay, what's going on between you and I?

I mean, we can be honest, Lisa.

We can be honest.

It's been, it's been on purpose.

It's been hurtful.

It's been hurtful, Lisa.

Yeah, I think what happened was I said things that I didn't realize were like a big deal for you, which I take accountability for.

And we see a flashback to like this

ongoing issue with Lisa and this other family.

And that was bronwen's ex's family and yada and lisa's like let's because she lisa was friends with the dad the dead dad's the dead father of the child's parents and knows them from church and stuff so right bronwin was like you know these parents me over and lisa was at first it was lisa was like oh yeah i totally feel for you and i feel for everyone in this situation but then later came out that lisa was saying that the mom said that bronwen faked a miscarriage so that she never had to introduce the daughter to them.

I mean, it was just, that was a whole, that was a whole thing.

That was dark.

That was crazy.

Yeah.

So

Bronwyn says, basically says, I don't, I don't think it was your intention to hurt me.

And I think actually like, she's like, I want to clear this up.

I just, you know, I had when the way it began, like, I had nothing but appreciation, gratitude.

And, and she's like, yeah, I felt that.

And we see, we go back to that like really moving scene where they talked about it last season at like the nail salon.

And Bronwyn's saying how she like would have only shared it with her.

And she's like, I never felt like more, nothing other than appreciative that like you put your time and effort into this into and you risk putting your relationship with them in a really weird place by talking to them for me.

And I always was grateful for that.

And, you know, I've handled it with the most important person, which is Gwen.

And we're in a good place.

And I think it's just, she goes, Bronwyn goes, I think it's just like a race to the bottom right now because like where we are, it's just, it's not who I want to be.

And it's funny because

this is like Bronwyn's kind of like corporate talk that she sometimes leans into.

And it's funny because Lisa then borrows it like five seconds later as if it's like Lisa's corporate talk, but it's like she just steals it from Bronwyn.

But she basically is like, I just, you know, I don't want to, I don't feel the need to defend myself or my life.

And if there's a mistake that I've made, I need to be accountable for that.

And I need to be remorseful for that.

You know what?

I'm accountable for doing the same thing, you know?

Like the deliverables, I mean, it made me defensive, you know, but I had a pie chart, and John is my everything.

He was like all orange, and there was only a sliver of blue, which is everything else.

And the biggest trigger for me is when someone brings his name up, you know, it's really hard unless they bring up fresh wealth because that's a big trigger for me, too.

Because you know what?

It really is fresh, and wolves are nice animals.

So, unless you're like in his business or in his bank account, like it's hard for me to hear anything nasty about him, you know.

And I think at Amy's house, that like set me off to a different level.

It was like a different level.

Yeah, but me saying maybe John is stressed is not the same thing as you saying I suck dick for clothes.

And that's what I'm saying about a race to the bottom, you know, race to the bottom.

Yeah, well, a low comment is like never okay.

I don't want to race to the bottom.

You ever heard about that expression?

It's so good.

I just made it up.

I don't want to make it low comments.

Okay, I just don't want to do this.

I don't want to raise the bottom, bro.

I'm just like, okay, well, you did just deal race to the bottom from me, which I took from corporate America.

And when I make a joke to somebody, I I think it's, you know, as a friend.

And then four years later, you say, you suck dick for clothes.

That's not really repeating it the same way I said it, head nod.

That's like twisting it to make it dark.

And say, I don't respect my husband.

I'm a whore.

Big head nod on that one.

It's different.

It's different.

Big head nods.

Okay, you know what?

I don't think you're a whore.

Okay.

And I've never said that you're a whore.

But that's what the insinuation is when you say, I suck dick for money.

Well, you know what?

It's different when you're married, you know?

And I would never call you a whore.

You're not a whore.

You're not a whore.

You're a really slutty girl who got lucky.

You know what?

And God bless you.

She's like, well, okay, here's what I want to do.

I don't want to go back and parcel out every single thing.

Okay.

You've been hurt by the things that were directed at you because they were directed at you.

I was directing them at you and they hit you.

And so you got hurt.

And I was hurt at the things that were directed at me.

And so I'm sorry.

So let's be friends.

Okay.

Let's just, let's just, let's just be nice to each other.

And she's like, okay, thank you.

But you know what?

I hear everything you said.

I mean, mostly nods.

You just nodded, right?

Did you actually say anything?

Because all I can hear is nodding.

Like, I'm feeling hypnotized, right?

Why am I tapping my head?

Are you telling me to tap my head while you're nodding?

Stop hypnotizing me, slut.

Okay.

You're racing to the bottom right now.

Okay.

So let's just try and

move forward, please.

Okay, let's talk about each other's husbands.

Okay, we've married two pasty guys that most other people wouldn't touch.

Can we just be grateful for that?

No more husbands, okay?

Okay, and uh todd is off limits and so is John.

Yeah, yeah, and full stop.

Okay, okay.

So by the way, I just want to say I've never said anything about the kids.

I never, I've never said anything about the boys.

I haven't.

I don't even know what's going on with Jack.

Is he real?

Is that just like a snowman?

Was that a movie you were talking about?

That movie with the snowman came to life?

Anyway, I just hope he's on his way soon, home soon.

That's, I hope it's good yeah jack comes home in like less than two months it's like so soon i hope he'll be okay because he's like he's run so many michelin star restaurants i hope he's okay coming back to salt lake city because like that'll be an adjustment for him for sure

Yeah, it's going to be really hard adjusting coming back to Salt Lake City after spending so much time in glamorous Colombia.

Okay.

Well, Gwen's still at home and she graduated.

She's not left.

She is not left home.

Oh, wow.

That's good.

So how's that?

well my mom's also living with me right now so

yeah wow can i just stay here can i stay here i would actually rather be

tequila left

i need to make peace with you because i've got a house full of dog shit my daughter's boyfriend and his semen everywhere and my mom's eyebrows terrorizing me while also wearing novelty t-shirts so i just want to know can i just stay in jack's room before he gets back from columbia thank you

well my mom was really upset the other day because Gwen and I had a disagreement and she was like, well, I'm sick to my stomach.

Oh, you think it triggered her?

Did it trigger her?

Yeah, well, she said, she said to me that I think we should be grandparents before we're parents.

You know, she was like, I'm so much more soft and open-minded with Gwen than I was with you.

And it really was an important moment for me for my mom to acknowledge that she's been really hard.

Of course, then she called me a slut and threw a pan at my head and told me that she regretted ever seeing me again and tried to run me over with the car while I was in the house.

Thankfully, it was a weak car.

It's a smart car.

So it just, it just hit the curb and stopped.

But it could have been ugly, Lisa.

It could have been ugly.

Gotta love my mom.

Gotta love her.

Yeah.

And which is funny, this whole little story sort of seems to imply that the next time we see Muzzy, she might be like kinder and softer because she's sort of having her own epiphanies on the side.

So the, which is, by the way, does not.

Well, that's kind of what Bronwyn is doing is spending the season trying to convince us that the people in her life don't hate her guts, like Todd and Muzzy.

And I think it's kind of a normal thing, you know, when you're in a situation where you have such a strong, you know, judgy personality growing up that you kind of try and compensate.

Like they didn't mean it, or they don't, it's kind of an abuse thing, right?

Like an abusive behavior thing.

When you deal with that a lot, you're just like, they didn't mean it, or they love me.

Surely they meant this other thing.

And Muzzy's just right there to be like, no, I didn't mean anything else.

I meant exactly what I said.

Tart.

Tart.

So Bradwin's like, well,

you know like i've noticed as i've gotten older there's things about myself i hold really rigidly like

everything

and i like to control how people feel about me and i like to speak for myself and i i don't like anybody else to speak for me and i i want to i want correct words and i'm i'm really just trying to let go of all that i'm like really brought on rigid i i would never have um

never would have noticed by the fact that your lips are pursed so tight that they are actually caving into each other and just making one big closed mouth.

I will give her credit though for acknowledging this because if you think about it, there's sort of like an element of Bronwyn that there must be a parallel to like Erica Jane in some weird way in terms of like tough mothers, complicated relationship with their mothers, and they have this like very big fashion style.

They're trying to be like expressive and like be like, this is me and take up space in that way.

But they are both for as being fun and fabulous as they are, they both are actually very rigid and tough.

And the difference is that I feel like Bron Wynn has some self-awareness, whereas Erica's like, what is empathy?

Erica's just starting to realize certain things, you know, but I don't feel nothing for anybody but myself.

But then on the on the flip side, Erica is realizing, you know what, I can just be a villain.

And I just will, I will be that.

And it's working out really well for her.

Like she's way more entertaining as just this cold ice queen who's just trying to understand the concept of empathy whereas bron win as she says she's trying to control the way people feel about her and that's always going to be um yeah

they veer off like like bron win is like i want everybody to love my husband and erica james like oh yeah my husband's a criminal i'm dating somebody named baghdad bob fuck all y'all like she doesn't give a fuck

but it did take her a while to embrace that that side of herself i'm so happy so

now they agree to be friends and lisa's like yeah you know what i'm glad we could have this conversation and no voices were raised.

She goes, yeah, no voices were raised.

That might be more impressive for you than for me because you raised your voices.

I'm more cutting and

you're more cutting the cheese.

So yeah,

pretty much.

I hate your guts.

Yeah, I hate you too.

Okay, please leave.

Okay.

Have you been evicted yet?

Okay.

See you soon.

Yep.

Just me being cutting.

Just me being me, right?

Okay, you can shout if you want to.

I got some cuts in there.

Say a hi.

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And And now we go to Mary and she's with her cousin, Big Joe, who I think we met a few seasons ago.

And they go to her church.

Her church is back and she's taking a look.

She's walking around.

She sees the portrait of her grandma with Jesus, which is a classic.

This, I can't.

Every time I see this portrait, I crack up.

It's just her grandma sitting up there and Jesus is like, hello, welcome.

Welcome to heaven.

She's like, yes, thank you.

Taking my rightful place at Jesus's table in heaven, baby.

so mary's like uh wow so they got all the chairs done okay wait whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa are all of the chairs done are all of the did the benches all get done because wait wait there's a nail wait there's a nail sticking out of this

that could someone could bleed someone it's like oh that'll stab someone oh you really don't miss anything she's like

yeah and you miss everything you have nail like sir big joe you cannot just leave exposed nails in a pew okay

that's not, that's some final destination shit.

Mary's like, she's like, well, I'm excited to reopen my church, but like, why is her nail sticking out?

Like, you did all this renovation and forgot that?

He's like, I thought we were going with the whole, like, you come to this church and suddenly you've got stigmata thing.

It's not on your back, Joe.

It's not on your back.

Okay.

So he basically, he's a general contractor and he spent a year doing the floors upstairs, basically.

And she's like, yeah, he's family and he milks it for sure um and so they sit down uh in a non-exposed nail part of the pew and they're talking about the church they're talking about robert first of all they're talking about how his first steps were actually up there on the altar and in front of the whole congregation and everyone cheered which is actually kind of very special and um they talk about him and she's saying that he's doing well but now that she's like a lot closer with him like she knows like she knows when he's like falling off the wagon and everything and big joe starts to actually tear up a bit because he feels bad for robert and stuff like that

yeah so then they start talking about her mom because her mom died i didn't know that her mom passed away i did not know so they're talking about how uh

just the way mary tells these stories she's like yeah and you know for some reason my mom thought she was supposed to take over this church when grandma died he's like yeah I have no idea why she would think that.

She's like, yeah, she thought so.

But, you know, she, you know, marrying the grand, that was odd to both of us, you know, like he wants to marry me?

Like, I mean, he just obeyed what mama wanted.

That's all he wanted.

He wasn't trying to do anything extra.

I mean, I just can't believe mom would get so upset that I married my grandma's husband.

I mean, it's just, I just don't get it.

I know.

And then

I mean,

that was so fucking loony tunes.

Just that it's, because I was sitting there and I watched a scene.

I was like, nice scene.

Like, it's just going normally.

And then I was thinking about it later and I'm like, could you think about what was actually being said during that time?

I had the exact same thing.

I was like sitting there like, oh, my God, her church is back.

This is so lovely.

Oh, my God.

And oh, like, I can't believe the mom would say that.

And I was like, you know, it was like two years ago.

We're like, what a fucked up.

Like, she married her grandfather and she runs a cult.

And now we're like, look at her.

You know, love is love.

Like, God, I love the new benches in Mary's church.

No, there's no more more questions like what happened to that church and what did happen to all these people who claim that Mary was, you know, impoverishing them and making them poor.

It's like a couple seasons pass by and everything just normalizes.

We're like, oh my God, I know.

I can't believe anybody got mad at you for marrying your grandfather and stealing this church.

Good for you, girl.

Good for you.

A church that may or may not be a cult, but we're like, you know what?

I don't know.

I think we just sort of got to a place where like, you know what, there's bigger fish to fry in our lives.

Cultural smoke.

Everybody needs somewhere to go after school.

Am I right?

Everyone, every pot has its lid.

Okay.

So

she

talks about, they both are talking about how her mom really wanted power.

And I guess it sounded like there was some sort of confrontation that happened.

at the congregation.

Oh, hell, this is good.

Yes, the mom showed up to the church during church and was like, this is mine.

And like tried to take over the church.

And then they called the police on her ass and had her arrested at the church.

I mean, that's

some crazy shit.

And I love how they try to be like polite about it.

They're like, well, yeah, it was crazy.

I mean, she showed up and then she said what she said.

And then the police were called and they said, who do you want out?

And someone was escorted out.

It's like, was it the organ player?

Who is it?

Come on, give me some hints.

Who is it?

Oh my God.

It was the lady in the third row.

Oh, I knew she was.

Oh, the mom?

What?

I had no idea.

So she is saying, you know, her mom, now it's full circle because she had her escorted out of the church and now she has been escorted off of the earth, you know, and she's like, yeah, it's full circle.

And I don't know how I feel about it.

It's, it's like a roller coaster, you know, it hurts, but it's a closed chapter now.

And I feel like it was a storm or a battle that I'd been in for all these years because she would put articles in the paper about me.

She put lies out there about us.

I mean, it was always something telling people that I married my grandfather.

I mean, well, that that was true, but still, I mean, just horrible.

And so she's talking about how when her mom walked out of her life, she actually has to mourn it all over again because, you know, she was mourning her mom, but I guess there was always a chance that they could make up or something.

But, you know, now she's dead.

And so she has to kind of remourn her.

I have to say, my heart really broke for Mary during this because it just sort of, you know, we've had glimpses.

She's talked about her mom here and there.

And every time it's very sad, but like,

you know, she was treated so badly by her mom it sounds like it's like when she told stories the reunion about how they grew up with money they weren't impoverished but her mom just like wouldn't buy food for the kids they just had nothing in the refrigerator and i just i don't know i just think about like all the hurt that she must feel and like that's it's just brutal and like this like the whole situation is really just

completely like actually

sad yeah it's linear because even if you know no matter what side you take on it, because it is salacious, like everything that's happened in this storyline is completely salacious.

But even if you take the anti-Mary side of it all, the fact that a child was even in the position to marry their grandfather is fucking crazy.

Like, it's crazy.

What kind of family was, you know, what kind of family was that that she grew up in?

So, you know, whatever is, whatever she may be now, you know, it comes from somewhere.

And it's.

But you know what?

I love, I love that from what we can see that Mary really is just like so loving to her son because like that's a cycle that could have continued on.

And like that she like, it's just, you know, it's just, it's sad that like, that, that Mary just was not receiving love from her own mother.

Like, I cannot even imagine.

I come from like mother love privilege where I have like lots of love coming from me from my, from my mom.

And like.

That like she actually had to go through her life.

And then now it's just, it's always going to be like there never was a resolution.

Not that there had to be, but if she was on some level hoping for that,

that's gone.

And like, that's, that is like incredibly tough.

And, um, yeah, but I'm so happy that she does not,

she does not continue that forward and that she shows so much love to her son, which is why it's actually also heartbreaking that her son is in such a tough place and she just keeps on trying to pour love into him.

And they have such an uphill battle to go.

But anyway, I was very moved by the scene ultimately, particularly before about the nail in the pew.

I was like, what?

Yeah.

All right.

So let's go over to Angie at Lunatic Fringe.

Is it the one?

Perfect transition.

We don't know.

Yeah, we don't know.

Let's go from Mary pouring out her heart in the tragedies in her life and contemplating the sadness of certain parental relationships to Heather getting a perm, a test perm at a hair salon.

Yeah.

So Heather comes over and Angie's like, my cosmetology license lapsed a while ago.

So I have to retake tests on mannequin heads.

So what better mannequin head than Heather Gay?

Sometimes I literally will knock her on the forehead to make sure she is a real person.

You know what I'd love?

Still not convinced.

You know what I'd love about Lunatic Fringe is that whenever they do a scene there, like Lunatic Fringe is like an actual sitcom set.

Doesn't it look exactly like an NBC sitcom that would air on like Saturdays between 227 and Golden Girls?

Like a show about a hair salon.

And this is the set.

And you enter from the top, but you can also enter from the sides.

It's just like a like there is no fourth wall.

It's just, that's it.

They should make it one.

I'm surprised it isn't a show yet.

They're trying to do everything in Salt Lake City right now.

How is there not a Lunatic Fringe show?

Let's write a multi-cam sitcom called Lunatic Fringe, and it takes place in the salon.

And like, we can have Jack.

We have to cast Jack A in it, by the way.

Speaking of 227, like Jack A is like the older person who's been doing it forever.

She comes in, she's like, Oh,

I am great,

Mary.

Oh, Mary, oh, Mary, I'm great.

I've got some Hispanic opener.

I just, that was not a bad game.

That could be her tagline: Sublink.

Subswinky.

That's her framework control.

Okay, that's the third time we brought up 227 this week.

She's after working at Huey Lewis in the news.

Oh, no.

Now it doesn't count because you said it.

You said it.

I'm sorry.

Lunatic French is cancelled.

Just kidding.

Back to the drawing board.

Back to the drawing board.

Back to our premiere Vita Tequila idea.

Yeah.

So Angie is like,

she's saying,

she's going to do this test perm.

And she's like, oh, you will never believe what happened.

I am sitting here with Sean the other day and this really cute gal walks in and I thought she had a hair appointment.

And she said, hi, I'm Lisa's assistant.

And I said, hello.

Do you have a hair appointment?

And she said, no, here's what I want from you.

I am here to get all the fresh wolf products today.

And I was like, what?

And I was like, is this a joke?

And she said, no.

So I had to go down to the storage room and find the product.

It was dusty.

I love that she's got all the product in the storage room, but she's yelling at Lisa that it's not sold.

Well, maybe because it's sitting in the storage room for one thing.

I can't believe no one bought that shitty product in the storage room.

I can't believe no one said, hey, can I see what products you may have in your storage room?

It's a shock.

So she goes to get the product.

It's been dusty.

She packs it.

And then the assistant says, Lisa, Venmo'd you some money for product.

I don't want her money, but apparently.

The Venmo already went through.

So she's, she gets a text from Lisa and it says, $600, Venmo, son.

I can send my cleaners to help you too.

Sorry, your salon is so dusty.

My salon is not dusty.

Look around.

Look at Jack Hay Station.

It is clean as a whistle.

No dust to be found.

Oh, but she literally just said the product was all dusty.

She's still so funny.

So she's like, so I just said you should probably have sent the $600 to other people that are claiming that you owe them money.

I didn't say you owed me any money, and my salon is not dirty.

Your products are, though, because they've been sitting here for two years.

So there's that.

So then she throws her grenade back.

Well, at least I don't have to borrow money to take vacations and pay it back after using a card I should never have used to begin with.

What are you talking about?

And aren't you the one being accused of using somebody's Amex card?

So now they're going to start fighting over Amex cards that they don't.

Everybody in Salt Lake City just has access to an Amex card that's not theirs.

Also, you can't like diss someone for like, oh, you had to use someone else's money to go on vacation and then you paid them back.

It's like, well, if the if the debt has been paid within the diss, it's not really a diss, is it?

Yeah.

Why are we?

Oh, wow.

You're so poor you can't even afford your own vacation.

So you went on vacation on someone else's dime and then you paid them back.

It's like, that's very housewife.

It's very acceptable.

It's like the fight where people are like, oh my God, you have a mortgage.

Oh,

yeah.

It was like on,

remember on Southern Hospitality when when it was like, did you know that Emmy went and bought us all uniforms and then she used her own money and then she reimbursed herself?

They're like, how could you do that?

Well, she used store credits.

Remember, like she got store credits for influencing or something.

And they're like, she pocketed our money and used her free clothes to get our uniforms.

It's like she reimbursed is like a reimbursement.

So yeah, so they are, so so Lisa has now accused Angie of using someone else's credit card that she never should have used in the first place and then paid them back, but solely to go on vacation.

So now we understand Jackie's role in all of this, huh?

Yeah, I have my own shekels.

So at that point, I just stopped responding.

I am not going to engage with her craziness.

Are shekels Greek money?

Just stop to ask.

Shekels.

I thought shekels were like, I thought that's like Yiddish.

It's like, oh, do you have a shekel?

I'll look it up.

Shekel.

Whenever I think of like new shekel, one Israeli new shekel equals

30 cents.

Oh.

Yeah, it's a Mesopotamian coin.

What is the currency in Greece?

It's the Euro.

Never mind that.

What about the old Greek currency?

Okay.

The drachma, the drachma.

The drachma drachma.

There you go.

I knew it was something from the old one.

Was it like sesterity?

Cesarity?

I don't know.

Look up old, old.

I play a lot of like Farko and go back.

I have a lot of board games that take place in ancient Greece, and it's always like,

use one Cesersti or whatever.

Yeah, I just see the Drachma.

Ancient Greek.

Yeah.

It was through the

Hellenistic period up to the Roman period.

Yeah, the Drachma.

Isn't that what you said?

Yes.

And

the original thing said Drachma was the currency from 1833 until like the Euro came around.

But now it's saying also it was ancient Greek.

So like lots of Drachma.

Yeah.

Well, now it is an American Express card from Greece with a Greek flag.

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