#3064 Below Deck Med S10E06 Part 2: Vegan for Vendetta

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Speaker 1 Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Crappens. This is part two of a two-part recap.
If you're like, hey, wait a minute, I didn't hear part one. Guys, it's because we put out a lot of recaps.

Speaker 1 Go back and listen to part one, okay? It's before this one. Bye.
Enjoy the show.

Speaker 1 Now, Nathan wants V to rinse off a a rail. Okay.

Speaker 1 And now it's time for the dinner. And Carlos is wearing a backwards hat.
I don't know. I don't care what they're wearing.
So they go to this IT. So now

Speaker 1 V comes to the deck with a bucket of stuff and she's wiping down the rail. I love that it's a whole plot line.
Like, is V going to wipe down the rail? Where's V? The rail still needs to be wiped out.

Speaker 1 Oh my gosh, there she is. She's got a whole bucket to wipe.
She's not only wiping the rail, she is wiping down the rail expertly.

Speaker 2 Guys, can we have another round of applause for b v great work victoria i call her victoria because she's a champion so everyone gets their food and josh is like all right we've got king oyster breaded mushrooms hand-cut french fries cauliflower couscous green salad garlic mushroom sea bass lamb shrimp melon and cucumber carlos do you have any complaints and um carlos is he's like i think maybe you're right maybe they told him to shut up because he's like clearly biting his tongue on this one

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 1 He has it all over his face, but he doesn't say anything.

Speaker 1 And then Candace, is Candace the other vegan? And she's like,

Speaker 1 okay, that's fine because, you know, vegans can't be just nice. So then they cut to everybody looking kind of unhappy, right? Yeah.

Speaker 1 And yeah, no one looks happy. And Carlos complains that something's too greasy.
And then we cut to Kizzy and Josh. And she's like, do you feel better about them now? He's like, it's just scary.

Speaker 1 It's scary when they've got so many variety of preferences. You know what I mean? I mean, anywhere else, I'd have their face

Speaker 1 flat down on a grill. But can't do that, can I? It's me, Josh.

Speaker 2 And so Carlos is like, he's like, well, I mean, they try. He's like, it's too greasy.
They try. It really doesn't take that much, though.
I mean, like, it's so easy to make this stuff.

Speaker 2 I'm like, well, then. Why don't you put on your preference sheet what you would like to eat? So that way he can make it for you, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah. So then, yeah, I'm so sick of Carlos.
I don't even care about his, I don't care about him anymore. He's pissing me off.

Speaker 1 So now it's time for dessert. And they get these little coconut bowls.
And he's like, all right, so in the bottom of the coconut, there's a coconut hooray. And then there's some fresh pineapple.

Speaker 1 And Candace, the vegan, makes a grossed out face. And so he kind of pauses and he's like, and there's a coconut and almond crumble there, fashion fruit sauvet.
And on top is a honeyed twill.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 it's,

Speaker 1 I don't think honey is vegan, which is interesting.

Speaker 2 Some vegans are okay with it. Some are not, but it's definitely considering this guy, Carlos, like how he is, I would have erred on the side of

Speaker 2 caution. But like, again, we are sort of getting a sense that he's like trendy vegan.
So I don't think he doesn't even have like a moment.

Speaker 2 Like, I think if he, if he knew he could complain about the honey, he would have. But I don't think he even realized that honey is like controversial in the world of veganism.

Speaker 1 So everybody is staring at this dessert like

Speaker 1 they don't want it. They don't like it.
It's a really weird reaction for a whole table to just like look at this dessert and then we just hear someone go I don't like coconut

Speaker 1 I don't like coconut

Speaker 1 what was that

Speaker 2 is that wind so uh then they're like you know what bring Josh back up here we want to say something once and for all so Josh comes up there and Candace the vegan goes I summoned you back up here.

Speaker 2 He's like, oh, summon me back up here. Yes.
I, queen of veganism, summoned you back up here. Have you made this dessert before? Is this something you created tonight?

Speaker 2 And he's like, well, I've done it before. I did it for a competition in December.
So there, be impressed. I was in a competition.

Speaker 2 Of course, it was just me and three other clowns and none of them cooked. But either way, it was a competition.

Speaker 1 Guess what?

Speaker 1 It was a handkerchief coming out of your wrist competition, but still, you know, it was eaten.

Speaker 2 It all took place in a tiny car with 20 other participants.

Speaker 1 And someone just laughs when he said, I did it in a competition.

Speaker 1 So we don't think this is going to go well. Yeah.
And she goes, this is like a party in my mouth. And someone else is like, it is divine.
And even Carlos says, this was nuts.

Speaker 1 And nuts aren't vegan, but I still liked it. Nuts are vegan, Carlos.
Nuts are a vegetable and we all know it.

Speaker 1 But vegetables are vegan. Shock off my ass.
I'm a vegan.

Speaker 2 Nuts come from a nut cow, and they're not vegan. Okay.

Speaker 2 So Josh is like, yeah, well, okay, great. There's more passion for you.
And it's all happy. And the vegans are happy.
And Josh is like, hold on. Is that a pig flying over there?

Speaker 2 They actually liked it. I'm like, Josh, you're doing so well.
Why did you mention the pigs? Okay.

Speaker 2 You should say broccoli. Is there a broccoli flying over there? But like, not a pig.
Come on.

Speaker 1 So Carlos loves it so much, he's going to eat the whole bowl of it. So, you know, crazy things do happen.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 So now Josh is excited and Aisha's like, say you won in the end, didn't you?

Speaker 1 And Candace is like, he listened. We have changed a chef into a vegan chef.
Our work here is done. You're welcome, other vegans.

Speaker 2 So, yeah, and then there's some hijinks downstairs where like Aisha has Nathan on her shoulders for some good some reason.

Speaker 2 And then Kizzy and V are in the cabins cleaning and Kizzy's telling V about how she's like, oh, guess what? Joe, I'm teaching Joe a dance and I'm going to like twerk.

Speaker 2 I'm going to do British white girl twerking. It's going to be great.
And I'm like, oh, up on him like this. Yeah.
I'm basically just announcing the fact that I had a good physical chemistry with Joe.

Speaker 2 Isn't that funny, V?

Speaker 1 I will say her twerk, her butt moved, which is very different from most of the twerks we get on here.

Speaker 1 Most of them just look like people imitating someone from cats trying to like scratch up against a post, like scratch their butt. But her butt moved.
So I was impressed.

Speaker 1 That was a pretty decent white girl twerk.

Speaker 2 Yeah, good, good work on her end.

Speaker 2 Um, so now it's time for the big dance number. So they come out, and

Speaker 2 Joe is wearing his like Spanish dancing uniform, and

Speaker 2 which is basically like a sheer shirt, and they dance, and it's fun.

Speaker 2 And everyone, like, everyone on the, on the crew, like, grabs someone and dances with them, and it's a fun time, and everyone laughs and smiles. And then there's like a split.

Speaker 2 Kizzy does a split, and then Joe does a split, and everyone does a split, and everyone's happy. and you know there's smiles on the guest's face for the first time all charter.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And so then Aisha loves it because it's the first time she's seen most of them smile.

Speaker 1 So now Kizzy's doing dishes and Max comes over and he's like, I just clean this.

Speaker 1 And she's like, thanks, babe. Darling, sweetheart, my delightful passion.

Speaker 1 Oh, poor Max, you're not getting any of that.

Speaker 2 No, let's go to bed.

Speaker 1 It is smart because you do get guys to do your dishes so that's good so the guests go to bed and then max nathan and joe are out smoking and nathan's like boys fucking smashed it today and i'm proud of fucking everyone and so they're like are we gonna keep v like what do we do do we get to keep her do we get to keep her meanwhile asha's talking say it again sorry I was echoing you.

Speaker 2 I was saying, does she get to stay?

Speaker 1 Is she going to stay? Yeah. So then we go to Asha and Kizzy.

Speaker 1 And Kizzy's like, something wasn't done in the cabins when we did turn downs earlier. And I've just been in a bad mood today.

Speaker 1 You know, it's just, I've been more frustrated than I should be because the love of my life, Tommy, what should I do about it? Oh, God.

Speaker 2 Kizzy, I mean, you were the one who advocated for V to go out on the deck. And now you have to do all the work.
Sawye.

Speaker 2 So now she like, she, she texts Tommy and she goes, I fancy you a crazy amount, which is hilarious based based on what she winds up texting him the very next night. So

Speaker 2 next morning, everyone's waking up. V is doing laundry.
People are like, like Nathan and Joran are cleaning things up. Sandy goes up to V and she goes, how's it going?

Speaker 2 Victoria, do you like when I say your full name? Just want to let you know it's my, Jose, I really appreciate what you're doing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. It's like you're hustling yesterday.
Wow. Real hustler out there, Victoria.
You did great. She's like, oh my God, thank you so much.
Learned it in Afghanistan. That's what I want to hear.

Speaker 1 So then LaDonna calls for Asha and she's like, so when there were, when the beds were cleared off, there was a headband and it belonged to my daughter. And my daughter's dead.
So I need the headband.

Speaker 1 And Asha's like, oh my God. And so they cry.
And then Asha finds it under the covers. So it was sweet.
It was like a very short storyline.

Speaker 2 It was like a beautiful little scene. Like Asha, and I love that Asha's like, hmm.

Speaker 2 And then she just like, for some reason, Kizzy or or V decided to put a whole ass fitted sheet over like a garment, essentially.

Speaker 1 Oh, was it over the, was it under the fitted sheet? It was under the fitted sheet, I think. Oh, I thought she just

Speaker 1 like the blanket. And I was like, oh, here it is.
It's in your sheets.

Speaker 2 Let me tell you something.

Speaker 2 I've been really messing shit up a lot on crap ends up the past few days. So don't trust me anymore.
But I'm pretty sure it was under a fitted sheet. Either way, it was under something.

Speaker 1 It was in the bed. So they laugh and they hug.
And it's like the best ending to a movie that we never watched. It's like, oh my God, this is so sweet.

Speaker 1 She spent this whole time searching for her daughter's headband and she finally found it. It's like, no, I lost something.
Oh, here it is. Oh, my God.

Speaker 2 And then the camera pans over and Sandra Bullock is standing in the door, her arms crossed, giving a proud smile. She does a nod.

Speaker 2 And then there's like this celestial light and she gets brought up to heaven because she finally did the thing that lets her go to the next plane.

Speaker 1 No, don't kill Sandra Bullock.

Speaker 2 No, she was already dead. She was like, she had to like do this thing.

Speaker 2 She had like, this had to happen. So that way Sandra could finally be accepted into heaven.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 2 Her character, it's not Sandra. It's just her character.

Speaker 1 No, I don't even want to see a Sandra Bullock character die. I love her.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 2 Okay. She doesn't go to heaven, but she smiles.
And then she smiles and then she like leaves. to go out to another boat and she doesn't have to even say goodbye to the boat.

Speaker 1 Is George Clooney there? Is George Clooney?

Speaker 2 George Clooney is on the tender to pick her up.

Speaker 1 Speaking of

Speaker 1 when we were in New Orleans, you and I, we went to look at the garden district. You know, we took a tour from those people who weren't real,

Speaker 1 well, they weren't like licensed tour people or whatever. They were just people on the street.

Speaker 2 We just attached ourselves onto that tour group, right?

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Well, we paid them or whatever, but yeah, it was like some kind of rigged.

Speaker 1 thing but it was kind of fun and we were looking at the garden district and we saw sandra bullock's mansion and i was like this would be the coolest place for sandra bullock to die in her mansion just like, I don't know, haunt New Orleans because she's just so sweet.

Speaker 1 It would just be, be like such a sweet haunting, you know? She would have a sweet,

Speaker 2 sweet haunting and she'd have like an earnest plea to every every house that she haunted. She'd be like, I just, I just, uh, I want the best for you.
And I just, I, I don't, I don't know how to do it.

Speaker 2 And I try my best, but, but this is all I can offer you right now. And you're like, oh my God, ghosts.
Ghosts. And they were like,

Speaker 2 so sweet.

Speaker 1 And they were like, well, she's not here that much. And I was like, is it because John Goodman's her neighbor? Because he was like one of her neighbors.

Speaker 1 And I don't know, like, John Goodman's a good actor, but he always seems like he's in a bad mood. I feel like he would be a bad neighbor.

Speaker 2 Yeah, that was a great tour guide. I seem to remember her wearing like a tie-dyed shirt, and then she gave us a ride across town afterwards.

Speaker 1 Yeah, remember, we piled into her daughter, yeah, her daughter's car. She took us

Speaker 1 because she had to, she took us to a parade, she took us to a Mardi Gras parade.

Speaker 1 That was fun, okay. So, anyway, um, here we are now.
Um, they're checking tenders, and Nathan and Joe start asking each other about their moms. And

Speaker 1 Joe says that his mom is always asking about Nathan because of that night they had together. And they start laughing.
And then Sandy is, she sees them goofing off and laughing.

Speaker 1 And she's like, hmm, I'm going to put that feather in my cat for later. Just saw boys laughing about something.
Not sure what it was, but there will be no laughing on my boat.

Speaker 1 Have we forgotten our hero V who tied a bowl line? Okay, let's think about our heroes and less about our zeros.

Speaker 2 Sandy really is messing up because that's when the two boys are laughing, that's when Sandy's supposed to give like a hearty laugh and then look at the camera.

Speaker 2 And then the camera freezes and it says, and introducing Captain Sandra Yon in the opening credits. But instead, she goes, hmm, which is like you can't use that in a sitcom opening, right?

Speaker 1 Introducing Captain Sandra Yon.

Speaker 2 You know, you're supposed to, ha ha, boys,

Speaker 2 and then smile at the camera.

Speaker 1 So now it's time for the guests to depart. Carlos gives the chef a high five and hugs him and says, chef, you did your thing, ate really well because of you.
Carlos, get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 You complained about everything except the very last thing you ate.

Speaker 2 I loved when Josh put his makeup to good use and he

Speaker 2 appeared in his clown makeup and goes, this guy's a fucking clown. Absolutely, this guy's a clown.
You don't get to be an absolute monster with the food.

Speaker 2 And then you get to act like a hero, like the guy be like, hey, good job, you. I'm like, no, no, you're, you're, you're a dick.
Get out of there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So then LaDonna cries with Aisha and she says that, you know, coming from Chicago, this was a major reset and it's been a blessing.

Speaker 1 And then she hands him an envelope and cries her way down the dock. And Nathan's like, this tip is going to be shit.

Speaker 1 And third charter is done, guys. So then we see Nathan with Kizy on the dock, and she's like, I can't wait to have a slutty night out

Speaker 2 with Tommy, the love of my life, but not with Tommy, if you know what I'm saying. But definitely with Tommy.
It's like, what makes messages are you saying? And he's like, so are you?

Speaker 1 And she goes, yeah, I'm going to have a slutty night. And he goes, well, you want to break up with your boyfriend first.
And she goes, yeah, I'll do that at some point in the next few days, probably.

Speaker 1 And he goes, well, let me know when you've done it. And she's like, yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, love to hear that. I'm sure.
I'm sure Tommy loves this. So tip meeting, okay, charter three, Aisha, you are willing to allow V, as she's known in some circles, to come on deck and support us.

Speaker 2 And thank you because you're a team player. And V,

Speaker 2 I'm just trying to be like the kids call you V. Your work ethic is incredible, Victoria.

Speaker 1 I had to say it, Victoria. Well, in this one charter, we learned that V is a really hard worker.
And we've learned that Kizzy has three V Ds and they're very hard workers as well. So, you know what?

Speaker 1 What a charter. We learn something every time guys, don't we? Okay, now kudos.
Okay. Love those bars.
Those are my backgrounds. Bring them back bars.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Bring those kudos back.
I didn't miss kudos. Bring them back to the marketplace because those are delicious.

Speaker 2 I heard that Ben Mandelker from Watch for Crappins used to eat kudos bars as a snack at a Hebrew school and he loved them dearly with his five alive. So let's have that.

Speaker 2 Let's let other children have that experience. Okay.

Speaker 1 God fucking kudos bars. I used to have because they were like lower calorie.
Well, they weren't lower calorie, but I guess it's better than a Snickers bar kind of thing.

Speaker 1 And so my mom would buy those and I would eat 10 of them, you know? So they were never healthy for me, but God damn it, they were. God, I love them.

Speaker 2 I used to, so it used to be, I would go to Hebrew school after, after like regular school and there'd be snack time. And so my mom would always give me a...

Speaker 2 granola bar with chocolate chips, like the chews, like chewy brand, and like a juice box. And that was my snack.

Speaker 2 But then when kudos bars came around, we switched up from the granola bars, simple granola bars, to kudos. And it's like life was never the same until it wasn't because kudos went away.

Speaker 1 Why do we let them go away?

Speaker 2 Why do we not support kudos?

Speaker 1 Just like true religion, we're standing around waiting for the return of kudos.

Speaker 1 I just want the rapture to happen so I can get kudos back.

Speaker 1 The kudos bar.

Speaker 2 A celestial light appears on a box of kudos bars and it goes up to heaven.

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Speaker 1 All right, guys, now the tip. Now listen.

Speaker 1 Pants that cover your ankles will make your ankles cold. Okay, that was a free tip for you.

Speaker 1 But now, monetarily, you know, success is about much, how much we pivot and rebound. Okay.
So in this case, what I love is these charter guests actually

Speaker 1 left you.

Speaker 2 Are you you ready to be sad?

Speaker 1 $40,000. You are winners.
You are absolute winners. I was just kidding.
The tip was really good, everybody. And everyone's like, oh my God,

Speaker 1 which I couldn't believe either. And I do think this is the highest tip in history.

Speaker 2 I've never seen anything like this. Never.

Speaker 1 I was shocked, shocked.

Speaker 2 $40,000. And when you think about the gays last season who spent five days on this boat and gave like, what, like $20,000, $10?

Speaker 2 Or, I mean, doctor i they they really took the reins over from dr contessa dr and contessa and scott who gave like 18 000 like this is literally twice as much but uh at least dr contessa and scott had like a normal length of one but the gaze wow that was just the worst thing ever but yeah

Speaker 2 i did not see this happening i was like

Speaker 2 What? This is why I think that there was more than what then meets the eye. I mean, especially the fact that LaDonna was like in tears at the end of the charter.

Speaker 2 I was like, I feel like she probably had a whole experience that was lovely and full of bonding and all sorts of stuff happened. And they just didn't even show it on camera.

Speaker 2 I feel like there had to be more.

Speaker 1 They just focused on the negativity instead.

Speaker 2 $40,000.

Speaker 1 What are we live under?

Speaker 2 I really do feel like if they were trying to be like, look, we complain about the food.

Speaker 1 We don't want to be, we don't want to be awful.

Speaker 2 So like, let's give a good tip. I still think they would have left like 25 to 30, but 40?

Speaker 1 Something had to have happened, right?

Speaker 1 I don't know, but it was good. So Joe's like, Jesus, did I shot

Speaker 1 him? What sorry, Ben? Go ahead.

Speaker 2 Sandra blocks in the doorway again as Captain Sandy reads the tip and she nods and walks out the room yet again. And we're

Speaker 2 done.

Speaker 1 So they're all celebrating. And

Speaker 1 Josh is like, yeah, I've got to make lots of money with my big tip. Got to make lots of honeys with my big dick.
I can't say that. Don't use that.
It just rhymed with tip. She didn't really.

Speaker 1 And then Asha's like, oh, who's it's the biggest tip I've ever had. It's going to take me a long time to come down from this high.

Speaker 1 And then we go to a text message video that the crew sent to LaDonna, and they're all dancing around singing, thank you. Thank you, it's La Donna.

Speaker 2 It is actually really cute. They're like so happy, as they should be.

Speaker 2 So, um, then, hey, uh, okay,

Speaker 2 um, okay, uh, Nathan and Aisha, Nathan and Aisha, come to Wind Central. Sorry, episode's still playing a little bit.
Okay, hey, you two, Aisha, Aisha, and Nathan.

Speaker 2 I just want to give you an update, okay?

Speaker 2 Norma still has not gone on a date. I know it's been 10 years, but we're hoping maybe this weekend things will change.
Okay, and as per you.

Speaker 1 I've even like using the word update because it hurts Norma's feelings, you know.

Speaker 1 No date. We're just saying.
Okay, I want to give you guys a no date.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 we're even in the fields here.

Speaker 2 Oh, but you know what? So, question: How is V doing on deck?

Speaker 2 How is she with the line handling? And are we open to calling her Victoria? Because I think that's really what we should be calling her on the show.

Speaker 1 Oh, she was fantastic. You could tell she was nervous, but I like that she was nervous because it shows that she cares.
I love that.

Speaker 1 You know, the boat does need four deck hands, so I'd like to keep Victoria on deck. That's what I'd like.
Victoria on deck. Sounds good, doesn't it? Well,

Speaker 1 okay, well, that's fine.

Speaker 2 I mean, don't you both feel like she'd be be great? I mean, think about it.

Speaker 2 V on the deck, it's like she's wearing a real V-deck t-shirt, except it's called a V-neck, but it's close, you know, if you think about it.

Speaker 2 It's pretty close to a good joke there, right?

Speaker 1 Oh, sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so. So V-neck is the Capri pants of shirts.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 Someday

Speaker 2 a V-neck and a Capri pant, they go both go towards the center, but never the twain shall they meet, said someone once.

Speaker 2 My girl, my wife, at least.

Speaker 1 I credit that this guy, Wizzy, personally. Well, she's so much happier outside.
You can see it. He's like, God, you can see the joy in her.
I've never heard people discussing somebody like this.

Speaker 1 It's so funny how they talk about V. She sounds like a pet.
We should start letting the puppy out more. He just loves it.
He's out there in the field, dropping around.

Speaker 1 I'd love to have him inside for colours, but he's a nature. He's a nature beast.
Let him nature. Let nature nature.

Speaker 2 So I'm going to

Speaker 1 get a new stewardess. Okay.
I'm going to call her up here and we're going to let her know together. Okay.
Let's bring her up here. V, come in here.
You're not in trouble.

Speaker 1 We're officially shifting you to the dick team. She's like, oh, my God.
Thank God. Thank God.
Manual labor and mopping outside. Thank you.

Speaker 1 We did it, Joe. We did it, Joe.

Speaker 1 So it's like one of those jobs they make it a big deal when you're the employee of the month. They're like, guess what? Your picture is going above the Slurpee machine this month.

Speaker 1 And you're like, oh, my God. Yes.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 she's going to be there. And now,

Speaker 2 so Aisha's like, well, this is great.

Speaker 1 But if I don't get graded stewardess, I might be less supportive.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 V is like, from the bottom of my heart, I would just like to thank you for seeing something in me. You know, thank you guys so much.
I'd like to thank my parents.

Speaker 1 I'd like to thank my boyfriend, R.I.P., miss you, miss you.

Speaker 1 I'd like to thank God. I saw a beautiful cloud today shaped like a heart and I felt it.

Speaker 1 And now look at, look, believe in yourself to all the children out there who don't believe they are worthy of holding a chamois.

Speaker 1 You can do this.

Speaker 2 Oh, my goodness. So,

Speaker 2 yeah, so V is going to be on the deck, which is exciting.

Speaker 2 And so uh, Nathan is excited and everyone's excited. And I mean, Via's really excited.
She's like hugging everyone. She's really crying and it's going through a lot.

Speaker 2 Um, and so then she goes downstairs and she tells Kizzy and she's like, I've done it.

Speaker 1 I'm on the outside.

Speaker 2 And Kizzy's like, well, I'm excited for. As long as I'm still the favorite on the interior, I don't mind.

Speaker 2 Like, you do know that another person's going to come in and she'll probably be better than you. And you have to do this all over again, right?

Speaker 1 So then Captain Sandy's got to text Norma. She's like, oh, hey, Norma, I no longer need a deckhand, but I'm now looking for a stewardess.
So know of anybody available?

Speaker 1 Nope. Wow.
So you're still unable to keep a crew? That's, that's good to hear.

Speaker 1 Still losing every day of your life, huh? I'll see what I can do. You stupid loser.
Nope.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 Well, maybe next time you shouldn't send me a deckhand and tell me it's someone for the interior.

Speaker 2 Maybe next time you should send me someone from the interior who's actually good for the interior. Maybe that's because you've never looked on the inside of yourself.

Speaker 1 Bloop.

Speaker 1 Okay there.

Speaker 1 Okay there, ashram, Sandy. Okay.
Hey, maybe instead of asking for deck hands, I should be asking you to get your dick out of your hand. Bloop.

Speaker 1 Hey,

Speaker 2 you know what?

Speaker 1 I don't.

Speaker 2 I'd rather have a dick, a deck hand than a dick in my hand in the first place. Give me some better staff.
How about that?

Speaker 2 Bloop.

Speaker 1 No one has ever had more staff than you. And I'm talking to you.
Here's everything I've played.

Speaker 2 You know what?

Speaker 2 You're really messing me up because I was riding a real high from the double header of wind. And you're coming in here with a lot of attitude.

Speaker 2 And you're the one who messed up in the first place, Norma. I'm not joking right now.

Speaker 1 Bloop. Bloop.
The only thing showing more wind than Netflix is the inside of your head, you stupid cow. Bloop.

Speaker 1 Bloop.

Speaker 2 You know what?

Speaker 2 At least a cow could staff a boat better than you could. Bloop.

Speaker 1 Okay. You seem tired today.

Speaker 2 So go ahead and I've been through a lot.

Speaker 1 Been through a lot.

Speaker 1 Go ahead and get your nap. I'll work on getting you a staff that's unfireable.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Bloop.

Speaker 2 You know what?

Speaker 2 How about you work on a date that's unwalkawayable?

Speaker 2 Loop.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'll let you have that one. Have a good night, you dumb bitch.
Thank you.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you too. You have fun.
You have fun alone, as usual.

Speaker 1 Bloop. So now it's time to go out.

Speaker 1 They get in the vans and V is like, can we talk about boys real quick?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Aisha. She's like, well, I can't tell if they're into me or not into me.
And she's like, well, if you're down, they're down. They're men.

Speaker 1 They're men. What more do you need? Okay.
All they're waiting for is a flag. Just put up your flag and they will try to conquer it, ma'am.
They will be there.

Speaker 2 So then Joe is like, oh, Kizzy, she smells nice. And Max is like, oh, she is a jackal, you know, a jackal.

Speaker 2 And then Josh.

Speaker 1 Is that a compliment?

Speaker 2 I'm not sure what Max is ever saying at any given moment.

Speaker 2 Josh thought V was into you.

Speaker 1 He's like, oh, y'all, she's a sweetheart.

Speaker 2 So I'm telling you, he's more into Kizzy, but he's going to go after, he's going after V first because V is available, but he's really into Kizzy.

Speaker 1 So Kizzy's like, who do you think would be the best shaga?

Speaker 1 And Aisha thinks Max because he would be a giver, which possibly. I feel like Max would last about one second.
And be like, God damn it, bro.

Speaker 1 Yelling at his wiener. Like, god damn it.
Why?

Speaker 2 He would literally literally go down on a girl for five seconds and then jump around and be like yes i did that i did that and you do like karate chops it would not be pleasant so um they all but they all believe that nathan would just get like all excited and wouldn't would would be just more like oh my god oh my god oh my god so they get to a restaurant and they sit down they toast to their big tip and everything

Speaker 2 and joe is speaking spanish the way staff which is which is really cool and max asking how he learned and you know we learned that um his his parents are still in Liverpool.

Speaker 2 And so, last season, Joe just wanted to make his grandpa proud. This season, I'm just saving up right now to the day to buy an apartment for me, mom.

Speaker 1 I just want to buy an apartment for me, mom, in Spain. Whatever comes, the rest is for me, but that's all I want: is apartment for my mom and my mama's boy down at the bottom of it.

Speaker 1 Total fuckboy, this guy. I just all I care about is me, mom.
Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 So, V's like, wow, you're really cute, though and kizzy's like could you pass me another cookie

Speaker 1 and joe's asking um kizzy if she misses the meat ah

Speaker 1 you guys it's burning off the screen the chemistry is burning off the screen hilarious

Speaker 2 so then nathan and joe go to the go to the bathroom and um Kizzy's like, she's like, oh my God, I'm worried if I eat too much.

Speaker 2 So Nathan's like, he's like, bro, that's trouble right there you know that's real trouble and joe's like yo she's got a fella and she's flirtatious i love how it's always the girl who's the trouble not the fuckboy who just can't who could make the decision to like not be you know an idiot

Speaker 1 yeah i think they just mean like there's trouble yeah big trouble

Speaker 1 And Joe's like, yeah, she's got a fella, but she's given game. I, oh, she's given game, but she won't go all the way.
I'm telling you, right now. I'm telling you.

Speaker 1 So, see, that's what he's worried about. He's like, do I choose the one that I possibly won't get laid with?

Speaker 1 Because she'll keep saying boyfriend over and over, or do I just go for the easier, the easier choice? Like, as far as getting laid in his mind.

Speaker 1 So then he says he's doomed if he does or doomed if he doesn't because he'd either be a homewrecker or a heartbreaker. Fuck me.

Speaker 2 You don't have to be a heartbreaker.

Speaker 2 You could be a, you're, you're, yeah, you're doomed if you do and become a homewrecker.

Speaker 2 Or you could just date someone that you're interested in and just date them and not fuck around on them and break their heart.

Speaker 1 Well, I think he means because the other girl has a dead boyfriend. So if he has sex with her, it's going to break her because she's very fragile.

Speaker 1 Broken bed. Broken bed.

Speaker 1 So he thinks Kizzy is powerful and he's really attracted to her. And Nathan can see the vibes.
So much, bro.

Speaker 1 So then we go back to the table and Kizzy is asking Josh what his best memory is, which is kind of a terrifying question to ask someone like Josh.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 And he's like, oh, well, I missed that. My mom and dad, you know, like, I think when we got the first restaurant, we were all very close as a family.

Speaker 2 Quite literally, we're all in the same clown car together. Did I mention that earlier? We've not ever, we're not ever together anymore.

Speaker 2 Mainly because I show up at Christmas with this crazy paint on my face and terrorize the entire family and they said josh you can't come back to this house until you stop dressing in a clown uniform so it's unfortunate i don't get to think them anymore he's mad because his parents split and his mom got a new boyfriend because god forbid she's alone you know he's like you know because that's what society says you have to get a boyfriend so that's what she did

Speaker 1 And Kizzy's like, oh, I'll really look up to your mother, actually, because that's what I think I'm like. You know, I just don't like being alone.
I'm not good at distance. Touch is so important.

Speaker 1 And if I can't touch you, I'm like, where are you? Okay, Kizzy, if you just wanted to say you want to get laid, just say that.

Speaker 1 But don't make some guy open up about his broken family and then turn it into how you need to get laid.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 2 exactly. Kizzy.

Speaker 1 Let's grieve his mother, who's still alive, but with a boyfriend.

Speaker 1 Lizzie is like, my mom hurt me because she couldn't be alone. Oh, my God.
I'm just like your mother. Actually, I'm bored with you.
I'm not going to talk to you anymore.

Speaker 2 but kizzy's really going through it because he's like i've been in relationships for like most of my life and i kind of sometimes think oh have i missed out on that single period where you just literally flirt with everyone i'm like i don't think you've missed out on that part

Speaker 1 you were just doing it today everyone you're literally doing it today and you're 22 how much

Speaker 1 what do you mean you've been in a relationship your whole life get out of here you've been with this guy two months so now kizzy and v go to the bathroom and um joe is like oh look at at those birds.

Speaker 1 Look at the birds.

Speaker 1 So then

Speaker 1 V stops because this dude in her said she has to fix a pillow.

Speaker 1 It's funny. So then Josh is now talking about V and he's like, you know, V is really, you know, I like Latina birds.
And Joe's like, yeah, full on relationship, you know, get to know you kind of.

Speaker 1 And Josh is like, yeah, I like her. Josh, you have no chance.
I'm so sorry. Yeah.
You dress as a clown and you break down at dinner over your mom finding a boyfriend. Like you're not.

Speaker 2 You're not in this mix. You're

Speaker 2 It's so rare that the chef is ever truly in the mix. They're just too weird and too emotionally tangled up.

Speaker 1 We haven't seen that since Malia, and that was a disaster. Oh, yes.
Try to cut a cucumber.

Speaker 2 So, um, yeah, Max is like, oh, Joe is that my fan, you know, like normally I'm like the exotic French guy, but now he just comes and snatches.

Speaker 1 So, good for him, good for him.

Speaker 1 Oh, Joe's so romantic. Yeah, Joe's like, Kizzy, she smiles at me, and we both tingle.

Speaker 1 It's just, I mean, it just, ooh, chills.

Speaker 1 So then Max is like, oh, so guys, what do you think about Joe?

Speaker 2 Because they're back in the vans now. And Kizzy's like, oh, lovely boy.
And V says, oh, he's charming. Yeah.
Oh, he's great. Wow.
And then now we cut to Joe and Nathan and Aisha.

Speaker 1 And Asha's like, oh, I can really actually tell that Kizzy is.

Speaker 2 Really into your Joe, really big time.

Speaker 1 Yes, I think she knows that she's got a, because she knows she's got a boyfriend, she's like, well, I don't have the right to happy intermother V, but I can tell that she certainly is.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and Joe's like, oh my God, what the fuck is my life? What the fuck is my life?

Speaker 1 Well, you've still got some hair. Just do whatever.
Just make a decision, okay? Because it seems like you've already been annoying me for eight weeks now, and you've been here for one episode.

Speaker 1 So just do whatever you're going to do. So now everybody goes to the club and Joe's all over Kizzy and V's watching it.
And Josh and Asha are doing a weird robot dance together, which is them.

Speaker 1 And now Nathan's talking to V, and he's so proud of her, and her work ethic reminds him of Gail,

Speaker 1 and she's going to be so great.

Speaker 1 And now we go to Kizzy and Joe having a conversation, and Joe's like, you know, you've got a boyfriend, so I don't know what to do with you, but you've got a smile in your eyes, and my balls are tingled.

Speaker 1 So you know what you do. You know what you do, you bad girl.

Speaker 2 Oh, God. So Joe and V,

Speaker 2 Joe's talking to V,

Speaker 2 and he's like, I want to have a serious conversation with you. And she's like, okay, like, what's happened in the past about your boyfriend?

Speaker 1 I'm so sorry. Wow.

Speaker 2 Sure, she loves hearing that at the club when you're hitting on her. Like, that's, God, nothing really, nothing says spitting game, like saying, hey, sorry your boyfriend died.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And she's like, I mean, it's fine.
And he says, well, I don't want to like intrude on your personal space. And she's like, yeah, I wouldn't come here if I wasn't like ready.
So take a seat.

Speaker 1 So he sits with her and they get all cuddly.

Speaker 1 and she's like why would you bring it up now and he's like well i'm bringing it up before anything goes further like i don't want to be that guy that just comes in and then you know like jerk off most and then ciao you know i want to jerk off and then make sure you're not crying while i leave you because that would make me look extra bad

Speaker 2 it's like he's saying oh i was going to do this with you i was going to come in we'll have sex and then i was going to leave you But now that I know that your boyfriend's dead, I just want you to know that like, I don't know if I can do that with you because that might be really hurtful to you.

Speaker 2 So, I don't know if I can just, I don't know if I can just like tell you my usual lies and then go for someone else on the boat. So, if you're wondering why I'm not making a move on you, that's why.

Speaker 2 And she's like, Um, I appreciate what Joe was saying. And, like, one of the really hard things since Bond died is that, like, some guys are just like, I don't know what to do.

Speaker 2 Like, do you guys want me to hold, you want me to hold you? Like, do you want to cry? Like, do you want to leave the room? And they treat me like I'm fucking damaged.

Speaker 2 And like, I don't want that to be me because like, fuck that, you know?

Speaker 2 So then she then says to Joe along those lines, I was so heartbroken. I can't do that again.

Speaker 1 Not for a while. I'm like, she's like, whatever.
He's afraid to hurt me, but trauma builds character. Let's do this.
I'm here for it. I'm not broken.

Speaker 1 So he's like, well, I can say that your hair straight is so fucking sexy. So now she sits on his lap and they're like, ah,

Speaker 1 my God. Yeah.
It's rough.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Then they head back in the vans.
And then like, at one point, like Joe and V get like really close. And she like grabs his cheeks like she's going to kiss him.
And she goes,

Speaker 2 do you want to? She's like, If you wanna kiss me, it's not gonna be in the back of a van.

Speaker 2 And he's also telling her things in Spanish, like, Oh, you know, it's different, you know, with Kizzy. I like her, but it would just be for fun.

Speaker 1 But you have a soul and straight hair.

Speaker 2 Oh my god, straight hair when all the time I thought it was only curly. Oh, I do like that, but I don't like it, I don't just like it.
I love it.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 she's like, if you want to kiss me, it's not going to be in the back of a van, though.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 tight quarters on the bottom of a boat.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Meet me in the broom closet.

Speaker 1 So Joe slides down the steps of the boat and with his feet on the rails, you know, and he's kind of walking down the railings. And now it's time for bed.
And Joe and Nathan are talking.

Speaker 1 And Joe tells him about his talk with V. And he's like, oh, she's fucking naughty, mate.
She's naughty. And then Kizzy comes in.
She's like, what are you guys talking about?

Speaker 1 What are you guys talking about? They're like, nothing. And she's like, oh, my God, they're so fucking stupid.
I'm just so confused. I want my 20s to be like full of fun and adventure and no regrets.

Speaker 1 And I think the most important thing is I've got to be honest with Tom. But I just feel guilty because I really do like Tom.
I really do. So now she has to FaceTime Tommy and lay down the law.

Speaker 2 Okay, Tommy. So I know this is shit.
And I've done some thinking. I don't even know how to word it, but I don't want to have any reservations whilst I'm here.
So...

Speaker 2 What I'm trying to say is I'm on a television show with like really hot guys and I really want to bang them.

Speaker 2 And it works two ways because then I get to bang a hot guy and I get to be on TV more and I just don't know if I want to be stuck just FaceTiming you this whole time. I mean look at your bangs.

Speaker 2 I mean really like it's just I don't know it's not very attractive.

Speaker 2 So I was kind of thinking maybe we break up and then we can get back together after the television show when it's back to like regular world. I don't know.
What do you think?

Speaker 1 And he's like, I don't get it. She goes, yeah, but you know what I'm like, right, Tommy? You know, I'm loud and flirty and crazy and all these things.
He's like, yeah, and I love that about you.

Speaker 1 But I want to kiss someone. He's like, wait, what the fuck just happened? She's like, well, I don't want to hurt your feelings.

Speaker 1 He's like, well, I can't tell you how upset I am right now, but I'm very, very upset. But you just told me how upset you are.
Well, not how upset. They're extremely upset.
Extremely.

Speaker 1 Oh, they don't want to talk about it. You just did, Tommy.

Speaker 2 He's like, well, he's like, well, okay, but then fine. Don't hold back.
Maybe we just won't speak for four weeks. I don't know.
I don't really know what to say, to be honest.

Speaker 2 I feel like you've sort of made up your mind. Oh, don't speak for four weeks.
Okay, great. Bye.
Bye, Tommy. Bye.
It's like, no, no, no. That was supposed to be a threat.

Speaker 1 I know. Poor Tommy.
You've already lost this one. I like when she goes, Tommy, I don't want to have your feelings be dependent on my actions.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 Tell me you've done this before without telling me you haven't done this before.

Speaker 1 So she basically dumps him and then pretends to cry in her face. And she's like, I'm fucking hate boys.
What are you talking about? Every boy's been nice to you, including Tommy.

Speaker 2 You just dumped the boy. You're the one creating the the drama, not the boys.
They've been respectful of your boundaries.

Speaker 2 No, ma'am.

Speaker 1 Well, anyway, that was my first time. I think what finally pushed her is that she saw that Joe picked the beef, right? And so she's like, oh, God, I'm running behind here.
God, she wins everything.

Speaker 1 First, she's the favorite

Speaker 1 in the cleaning crew. And then she gets moved outside.
And now she's getting the... you know, hot new guy.
I'm breaking up with Tommy. That's it, Tommy.
You're done.

Speaker 2 Bye, Tommy. Well, fun episode.
I'm glad those vegans are gone. And we'll be back with more episodes later this week.
Thanks, everyone, for being here. It's a fun time.

Speaker 2 Watch out for that wind and other scheduling changes. And we will catch you in the next episode of Crap Ins.
Bye, everyone.

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Speaker 2 Picture this.

Speaker 3 You're standing on the beach when you notice something strange. The horizon doesn't look right.
At first, all you can see is a thin white line stretching as far as your eyes can see.

Speaker 3 Then, the line starts to rise. But it's not the horizon at all.
It's a wave, a 30-foot wall of water, and it's racing straight toward you.

Speaker 3 On the day after Christmas in 2004, a 9.1 magnitude earthquake hit off the coast of Indonesia, triggering a devastating tsunami. It struck Thailand without warning.

Speaker 3 No alarms, no cell phone alerts, no evacuation.

Speaker 3 And this season of Against the Odds, experience one of the deadliest natural disasters in history through the perspectives of those who did everything they could to survive.

Speaker 3 Follow Against the Odds on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Against the Odds Tsunami in Thailand early and ad-free right now on Wondery Plus.