Our Favorite Jeans w/ Charo | Your Mom's House Ep. 825

Speaker 1 Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

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Speaker 8 Hello, I'm Charo.

Speaker 9 Welcome to your mom's house. Well, here I am doing a podcast with Tommy and Christina, and I have never seen them looking better.
Hey, Cristina, close your mouth. A fly might get in.

Speaker 9 But you look gorgeous. And of course, Tommy, the boss, but I love them.
i can scream at them i can boss them around nobody say anything it looks so good oh my gosh i'm taking them with me

Speaker 9 tom and christine are gone so of course i have to do the work for them tom is going to owe me so much for this he's going to regret not being here so here we go we asked fans and guests to send in their favorite moment from the podcast Our first guest, Stavros Kalikhielsk.

Speaker 9 I can't pronounce it very well, but I know who he is.

Speaker 13 And I love him.

Speaker 17 I don't really have a favorite clip. I do have a least favorite clip when you pieces of shit made me watch a guy eat shit.
Just came out of his ass like soft server and he lapped it up.

Speaker 17 How the fuck is this even a successful show? I love you both, but you scarred me that day.

Speaker 22 The way we first learned about him was through one of his cooking shows.

Speaker 24 He had a cooking video that became famous.

Speaker 26 It was before he got his forehead tattooed.

Speaker 4 Okay, okay.

Speaker 27 Before he had titco.

Speaker 29 Today we're going to make French-Canadian poutine fries.

Speaker 31 What are poutine fries?

Speaker 30 Well, poutine fries are basically your fries,

Speaker 30 cheese, and a great appetite.

Speaker 4 Wow, a great appetite.

Speaker 31 Just like your grandpa's.

Speaker 30 There's going to be a bit of a change in the recipe.

Speaker 4 It stresses me out, too.

Speaker 30 Fries, cheese,

Speaker 35 pig shit, and pig piss.

Speaker 32 Ooh, it's going to be a treat. No!

Speaker 36 Okay,

Speaker 32 Yes, me.

Speaker 37 Are you ready?

Speaker 6 He paces through the cage,

Speaker 39 which it's in his urethra, so I don't know how he's.

Speaker 40 Oh, oh!

Speaker 41 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 31 No, dude.

Speaker 31 No, mix it up.

Speaker 30 Make sure all the bones are covered.

Speaker 26 You gotta have all the ingredients.

Speaker 42 I take back what I said about his recipe.

Speaker 4 I don't want to

Speaker 31 watch this.

Speaker 31 Oh, no.

Speaker 31 No!

Speaker 31 No!

Speaker 31 Ow! Fuck! No!

Speaker 31 Look, dude, that's disgusting.

Speaker 42 That fucking sucks so much.

Speaker 40 Oh, my God.

Speaker 42 Why did it come out so fast?

Speaker 31 Why did it come out so fast?

Speaker 31 Take the cheese.

Speaker 43 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 31 I literally.

Speaker 21 I don't even gag easy dude, but that shit is fucked up.

Speaker 31 No, it.

Speaker 31 I don't want to watch you eat it.

Speaker 31 Don't eat it, Norm, please.

Speaker 31 I beg you, Norm, don't eat your own shit.

Speaker 31 No.

Speaker 30 Look at this gooey turret.

Speaker 4 Oh my god.

Speaker 7 Jesus in Christ.

Speaker 31 Oh shit.

Speaker 46 Oh good.

Speaker 31 Why the fuck did it come out so fast?

Speaker 10 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 9 This is disgusting. Up next is Christy Stefano.

Speaker 3 When the first time I did your mom's house live and when Tom and Christina showed me a man getting shit into his eyelids, is when I subscribed to the channel.

Speaker 3 So I know, Stavi, it was one, you know, one man's treasure, one man's trash, another man's treasure.

Speaker 3 And I got to be honest, also, one of my favorite moments is when I came on there and I talked about my love for the transgender woman in Baby Reindeer.

Speaker 3 And we had such a great moment, and I felt so listened to and included. And then the very next day, I told that same story on Joe Rogan, and his response was, ugh.

Speaker 3 So thank you for supporting my trans

Speaker 3 love.

Speaker 48 I haven't been able to stop thinking about her at all, and she consumes my thoughts when I'm every moment of my life. I'm thinking about her.
Terry, I'm not sure.

Speaker 48 Yes, there's a video of her dancing around.

Speaker 3 Can we please pull it out? Yeah.

Speaker 48 Her dancing around. I've watched it on repeat.
I've had to, you know, Jasmine's caught me multiple times looking at her Instagram, looking at her pictures, and I've had to tell her multiple times, no,

Speaker 48 it's for a bit, but

Speaker 48 it's not.

Speaker 39 Can you walk me through the attraction? Because I'm trying to understand, because to me, it looks like a very masculine woman. So it's like you like the woman look,

Speaker 39 but you like a masculine woman look.

Speaker 21 Is that what you're no?

Speaker 48 She looked like an Italian girl from Brooklyn or Staten Island to me.

Speaker 50 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 8 She looked like that.

Speaker 3 And at first thought, I thought she was a woman.

Speaker 22 And then it's one of those things when I found out she was in fact a biological male and still had a penis, it made me more intrigued.

Speaker 23 Okay.

Speaker 48 Yeah, I think there was a video of her dancing.

Speaker 51 I think it's loading up right now. Okay.

Speaker 48 so am i i i i want to get my feet over my head and get back to my hotel room and shoot it off my eyelids to nava ma's instagram um so wow her followers have doubled when i the last i was on her page about two days ago she had 68 000 followers now it's over at 110 yes see terry just dancing around and uh

Speaker 48 yeah just kind of

Speaker 48 yeah you like her pause i like it everything i like her i was like i was like wondering like i wonder where she where that apartment is she i like her flowers i like her kitchen. I'm just like,

Speaker 48 she looks like she would tolerate me and not judge me.

Speaker 46 Right?

Speaker 46 I like that.

Speaker 53 Yeah, she looks like she would.

Speaker 39 Maybe that's the, maybe that's the hook, Chrissy, is that

Speaker 39 she won't judge you.

Speaker 48 The thing that excites the straight male human brain number one the most is big tits and a big dick.

Speaker 48 So you don't even realize when you're watching porn, you will fast forward through the videos if the man's penis is too small. But if you see a nice big, fat dick and some big tits, then you stay.

Speaker 3 And that's why I'm staying on her because I'm assuming she has a big fat cock and big tits.

Speaker 22 And I've already seen her tits in baby reindeer.

Speaker 48 Yeah. And I feel good talking about this because I promised my family last week at a barbecue that I wouldn't publicly talk about any gay stuff or hypersexual stuff.

Speaker 48 And I looked them all in the eyes and said, I won't do it. And then I'm happy I'm doing it.

Speaker 51 Yeah, you are doing it. But still, it's fun.

Speaker 22 It's just who cares. What?

Speaker 9 That lady has a penis?

Speaker 9 Oh, shit. Turn that off.

Speaker 54 Hi, Tim and Christinza and Booth Boobs.

Speaker 54 My personal favorite YMH podcast moment ever is from episode 773, where Christina gets to tell Tim live on the podcast that Hammy has escaped not only for the third time, but infiltrated the walls of your home.

Speaker 54 Always makes me giggle. Thank you guys so much for what you do.
Thank you for the years of laughs. It's your buff day.

Speaker 39 and if you're ever on the market for an orphaned malvy 31 year old hit me up love you i've been a little high on drugs the last like nine days recovering and yes i've been a little bit bored

Speaker 39 so i bought the kids a hamster right this is this happened a while ago and then i thought what's better than one hamster two hammies so right before surgery yeah i bought I bought us this fucking crazy hamster, dude, that like we had it in a box on the way home from the pet store.

Speaker 39 It chewed through the box.

Speaker 51 It chewed through the box on the way home.

Speaker 39 That was cool. This thing is crazy.

Speaker 57 And so we have had

Speaker 39 three hamster escapes

Speaker 39 in the house. And the first one was just like a total fluke.
The second one, the kids left the cage open and you were not pleased.

Speaker 28 No, I did not like that.

Speaker 39 You don't like that. It made you very upset.

Speaker 51 I mean, I'm not a big fan of this family of pets. This type of pet is not one that I'm excited about.

Speaker 27 Well, we can't have dogs or cats because of an allergy.

Speaker 58 All right, we have our son.

Speaker 51 One of our sons has allergies.

Speaker 24 But like,

Speaker 51 then knowing that it's free and it just really makes me uneasy. And then

Speaker 51 I leave and you're like, oh, I got a new

Speaker 39 crate. It just brings, it brings me, look.
I don't do well with feelings, especially feelings of sadness and depression. And I was like, fuck it.
You know what?

Speaker 4 I'm going to buy another hamster.

Speaker 51 I know, but you also decided to buy a new home for the hamster.

Speaker 39 Yeah, let me show you. So this is actually the third cage.

Speaker 59 Third cage.

Speaker 43 And it is

Speaker 7 enormous.

Speaker 51 That is taking up half of a room now.

Speaker 39 It's called the hamster habitat, Tom. It's more humane than a cage.

Speaker 59 And that's just for one? That's for one hammy.

Speaker 39 That's the savage hammy. That's the savage hammy.
So you came home and you found Hammy in that. But the reason was, so that fool got out a third time, remember?

Speaker 24 This is what you haven't told me.

Speaker 59 Yeah, brah.

Speaker 39 So remember, you had left and the search was on.

Speaker 60 And you found for Hammy.

Speaker 39 Yeah, you found. Now, I didn't tell you what went into finding Hammy.

Speaker 18 Wait.

Speaker 51 This is the time you said, I found it.

Speaker 39 And I did. Yeah.
But it took a little prep work. So, oh my God, dude, you didn't even know this.
We were at dinner. We were at dinner.
You were sitting right.

Speaker 39 It was here, here, and then Jane was sitting next to you and we're eating. And I fucking hear

Speaker 39 like scrambling. Like it's in like that.

Speaker 39 And it's in the walls. It was in the walls right next to your fucking head when you were eating dinner.

Speaker 51 Wait, how did you know?

Speaker 39 Because right before you came to sit down for dinner, I heard it scrambling in the walls.

Speaker 59 What do you mean in the walls?

Speaker 39 So you know our dining room table? Yeah. Right behind you is that wall and that cabinet.
There's a wall right behind you and then the front door. It's not a full wall.
It's like a little partial.

Speaker 39 Okay.

Speaker 39 It's like a you mean if you're seated with your back to the front where you were sitting yes or the head of the table yeah the head of the table where you're sitting when you're and your back is to the front door on our big dining room table yeah there's a piece of wall and i

Speaker 39 you heard that heard it and then i was like to jane i go you cannot tell tom that this fucker is in the walls he's gonna freak because this is the third escape and you're gonna kill me and i've already bought this crazy hamster like this is crazy you're gonna you're gonna divorce me and i and i put a christmas tree in our room too by the way did i mention that there's a christmas tree yeah you put a christmas tree but anyway okay there's the there's my christmas tree in there like i've already i'm off the deep end already with this cancer like i'm losing my i'm already okay doing stuff to feel better that doesn't make sense so

Speaker 39 we eat dinner and jane and i are just like praying that you're not hearing right behind you. It's like a comedy.
It couldn't be funnier. It was so perfect.

Speaker 39 And you're telling, we're just like, so tell us about the thing, Tom, and right behind your fucking head, and you don't hear it.

Speaker 39 And then, so you leave, and to Brian, I go, Look, we got to get this fucking hamster out of the walls before my husband gets back. He's going to be furious.

Speaker 53 So, he calls the guy over.

Speaker 39 So, first of all, when you have like rodents in your walls, the exterminator won't drill holes in the walls. So, we had to get a guy to come over and drill holes in the walls.

Speaker 25 What

Speaker 4 we We fucking drilled, dude. We drilled holes into the wall.
Where?

Speaker 39 You know the front door?

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 39 That wall that is right to the right of it?

Speaker 33 We drilled a hole in that wall.

Speaker 39 And then on the other side.

Speaker 59 And then they patched it up?

Speaker 4 Before you got home.

Speaker 15 Wait, so hold on.

Speaker 39 So we're all like, okay, I hope this fucking hamster comes out because otherwise it's just going to die in the walls.

Speaker 39 And we're waiting for the exterminator to come, but he doesn't come until the next day. So we have this night of like, please let this hamster come out.

Speaker 39 So we put food out, we're waiting, and I'm, I can't sleep because I'm so codependent, and I hate when you're upset with me. Like, I can't handle the feelings of your upset.

Speaker 39 And I'm like, he's gonna be so mad at me, and I've got to resolve this. So I'm up at fucking midnight, high on Oxy's, looking for a hammy, and my tits are hurting.

Speaker 39 And I've got a flashlight, and I fuck, I find it, dude. I find the hammy by the kids' room.

Speaker 39 So it did come out it did come out we lured it out with treats

Speaker 39 so it came out of one of those holes i'm presumably so how did it get into the wall we know we do not we found there's a tiny little area under the cabinet okay just a you know they only need an opening yeah and that's how it got in there and it got in the wall did we plug that up

Speaker 31 don't know

Speaker 51 you know what i'm thinking about right now divorce no new christine no new christine was just here

Speaker 39 she would never have tricked you like that.

Speaker 51 She never would do this.

Speaker 39 Dude, they patched it up so that you never have to know.

Speaker 27 But I thought it'd be funny.

Speaker 60 I would patch up the original entrance.

Speaker 39 Yeah, we will.

Speaker 10 That was fun.

Speaker 13 That was like fun.

Speaker 39 Summer's winding down, and while I'll miss the long days, there's something nice about getting back into a routine.

Speaker 39 And for me, that means making weeknight dinners again, keeping the house organized, and giving my space a little refresh so it feels ready for the season ahead, which is why I love Wayfair.

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Speaker 39 Sale ends at 8:31.

Speaker 40 Oh Steve O.

Speaker 64 Hey everybody Steve-O here and my favorite time on the Your Mom's House podcast was when I told the story about jacking off in the airplane and simultaneously ejaculating as I fell out of it.

Speaker 64 It was just a special thing man.

Speaker 65 On my bucket list I had skydiving.

Speaker 63 I said if I ever go skydiving because the first time you have to have a tandem dude strapped on your back, then I'm going to be butt fucking naked and furiously jacking off.

Speaker 31 Oh yeah.

Speaker 65 I'll be all pent up and while I'm fucking whacking it like when I pass the point of no return right I need to really time it so that right when I blow a load is when I when I fall out of the plane.

Speaker 51 And your jiz just went flying everywhere as you're jumping.

Speaker 67 Yeah, it was the wind caught it.

Speaker 64 Not a drop landed in the plane.

Speaker 66 So wait, you're but I hadn't fallen out of the plane yet.

Speaker 5 I just got my wiener out into the wind and the wind caught it and blasted it into the slow motion camera that was mounted on the side of the plane.

Speaker 67 Wow. Which was like just a full brunt fucking money shot.

Speaker 63 And it's good that way because

Speaker 67 had I blown the load after falling out of the plane, it would have been really tough to catch it.

Speaker 4 This is right in your face.

Speaker 15 If it was in 3D, you'd be like wiping the jizz off your nose.

Speaker 49 You're on the precipice of the screen.

Speaker 4 And then jump,

Speaker 66 yeah, I mean,

Speaker 70 I'm jizzing as we're scrambling, as we're going out.

Speaker 11 Holy shit. Because they hang it.

Speaker 4 I'll show you. They hang it.

Speaker 23 Yeah, I'd love to see it. I'd love to see it.

Speaker 63 You know, I had four dick pills for breakfast.

Speaker 4 I planned this. I did.

Speaker 63 Yeah, four Cialis tablets.

Speaker 56 Holy shit, that was.

Speaker 34 Four of them. And

Speaker 5 I planned it like, you know,

Speaker 67 I did not blow a load for four entire days and nights leading up to the

Speaker 66 pent up with a hair trigger. Yeah.

Speaker 64 I don't think you can blow a bigger load than four days.

Speaker 63 You know, because after that, your body just starts cycling it.

Speaker 34 Yeah.

Speaker 23 Four days is a lot.

Speaker 51 Four days kind of maxed out. Yeah.

Speaker 66 Maybe 10, but I'm not trying to do that.

Speaker 4 No one's trying to do that.

Speaker 5 I came prepared. Yeah.

Speaker 63 But the thing was that before we took off, they said, okay, now that you're going to have to, there's a two-minute window

Speaker 63 for the jump. Because before or after the two minutes, like, we're not over the drop zone.
So I'm going to have to time this ejaculation.

Speaker 8 Oh, that's scary.

Speaker 63 An airplane full of dudes pointing cameras at me with one of them strapped on my back so tight that his fucking chin is resting on my shoulder like a parrot.

Speaker 39 Yeah.

Speaker 66 Like,

Speaker 67 like, and I have to,

Speaker 66 it's threading the needle over here.

Speaker 67 Yeah.

Speaker 63 And I gotta fucking do this within the space of two minutes. And I thought about it and I was like, okay, like, give me one minute's notice before the two minutes starts.

Speaker 39 Oh, wow. So you start pre-gaming the jacket?

Speaker 65 Ah, I start pre-stroking semi-regularly.

Speaker 63 I had my Jagos buddy Preston with me. He's my fluffer.
He's got the lotion.

Speaker 67 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Right. He, you know,

Speaker 5 when I hear T-minus three at 15,000 000 feet after they open up the door i go lube he squeezes the lotion on my hand and then i click play

Speaker 63 and i start whacking that's like uh there's no pregame there's just hit play

Speaker 7 full fucking go oh wow yeah all right

Speaker 71 on to our next rober and jamie lynn sigler uh what's everybody i'm rob eiler i'm jamie lynn sigler and one thing we could tell you about working for tom and christina is they make us show up every week no matter what.

Speaker 71 And then weeks like this, they just don't show up. And

Speaker 71 yeah, no one's there to tell them they have to. But they're making us work even more by introducing or maybe talking about our favorite YMH moments.
Anything with Tony John for me is my favorite.

Speaker 71 But then I don't know if you remember. I think it was the one with me and you, or maybe I was doing it alone.
They showed us a video of some guy and his fetish was to like be put into the ground. Yes.

Speaker 71 Or he put a woman into the ground in his apartment and then like, put the furniture back and acted like she wasn't there. Yes.
And then there were like spiders down there, apparently.

Speaker 72 I'm really appreciative to Tom and Christina for showing me just how fucked up the world is that we live in.

Speaker 71 Yeah, and thanks for letting me watch that every week.

Speaker 4 Whoa.

Speaker 45 You'll probably go down slowly when I put that.

Speaker 48 It's all right, Jamie.

Speaker 39 Is this what you do at home, Jamie, with your husband?

Speaker 72 After the kids go to bed, for sure.

Speaker 51 This is super fucking cool.

Speaker 12 So.

Speaker 40 That's it? No, no.

Speaker 33 Stop at home.

Speaker 4 Oh, Jamie had to ask.

Speaker 61 I was like, well, wait, what?

Speaker 41 Are we using imagination?

Speaker 3 I hope that's a set and not his house.

Speaker 4 I think that is his house.

Speaker 39 Me too. This is terrible.
Did you see his dad's dance at first?

Speaker 48 Dude, guys are so fucking weird.

Speaker 71 Imagine that gets you off.

Speaker 4 The craziest part is.

Speaker 72 That's like my if you've spiders in there, that's my straight up nightmare.

Speaker 71 Oh, I thought you met Michael Imperioli from Goodfellows.

Speaker 46 Get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 74 I'm going to watch the TV.

Speaker 75 Wow.

Speaker 60 Hey, that's great.

Speaker 39 I thought Tony was a gangster.

Speaker 49 Well, what's that mannequin in the corner?

Speaker 76 Just to practice with.

Speaker 33 Whoa, whoa, wow.

Speaker 12 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 4 You know what's crazy too?

Speaker 51 It's like she's down there, like, ooh, and he's just like, I think I'm going to jerk off.

Speaker 43 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 39 Like, where does the gratification come from?

Speaker 40 He's peaking right now.

Speaker 4 Right now, he's got this rush. He should be.

Speaker 39 It's not a good feeling. So we highlight cool guys on our show.

Speaker 39 This is obviously King of the Cool Guys Club.

Speaker 36 Hilarious.

Speaker 39 But he's not jizzing on her. He's not even ejaculating.

Speaker 72 This is what gets him on.

Speaker 39 Gangster. Yeah.
This guy's

Speaker 49 darkest, cold, cool guy.

Speaker 4 Now There's a cool guy.

Speaker 71 Tom, have you ever thought of putting a dove under here?

Speaker 11 Yes.

Speaker 10 Honestly.

Speaker 9 Why are you showing me this? This is going to cost you. Up next.

Speaker 78 In the episode where Christina, Tom, and Josh Potter are talking about

Speaker 78 Aaron Hernandez out of nowhere, Christina says the Pouncy Twins be gay.

Speaker 79 And

Speaker 78 if you watch Tom's reaction, he's just so happy. Like, you can see how

Speaker 78 proud he is of the decision he made to marry that woman.

Speaker 51 He did crazy shit.

Speaker 75 Like, someone would, like, walk by him and they'd, like, maybe spill a drink on him or something a little bit. And then he would, well, that was exactly what happened when he murdered a guy.

Speaker 4 He murdered two guys.

Speaker 53 Yeah, two of them.

Speaker 51 Two guys on the street because they spilled a drink on him.

Speaker 39 And he got so crazy and he couldn't control the impulse to murder.

Speaker 51 I mean, it was just such an irrational.

Speaker 39 It's like when someone makes your drink wrong at Starbucks.

Speaker 39 How far away are you from?

Speaker 51 But you know what? I have that frontal lobe.

Speaker 39 You still have yours?

Speaker 40 Yeah.

Speaker 36 Okay.

Speaker 51 That's when you'll know something's wrong with me. Oh, boy.
If I'm like, they did it.

Speaker 80 A couple of head injuries.

Speaker 51 Oh, boy. They made it wrong, and then I just cut them up.

Speaker 7 Yep.

Speaker 75 A couple of head injuries away from that wall breaking down in your frontal lobe. That's for sure.

Speaker 51 It's a good thing I didn't play college ball.

Speaker 76 Oh, how sad.

Speaker 22 No, it's really sad.

Speaker 51 He killed those two guys. He killed his fiancé's sister's boyfriend.
This is a separate one.

Speaker 51 Then one of his friends who he was rolling with, who knew, because was with him when he shot the two guys who spilled the drink, he shot him in the head. So he tried to kill that guy.

Speaker 75 The lover in prison, by the way, said during a night of canoodling that he confessed to a fourth body.

Speaker 39 Oh, my life.

Speaker 51 And then don't forget that he also shot somebody in Gainesville when he was at Florida and they never tied it to him.

Speaker 75 The Tebow team.

Speaker 75 You must look back and go, haha, yeah.

Speaker 81 The Savages.

Speaker 75 Yeah, they're all animals on that team. There was like a coach who got arrested and all this other stuff.

Speaker 24 Yeah, and then they're like national champs.

Speaker 75 How about the Pouncy guys being in that documentary?

Speaker 39 They got the Pouncey twins be gay.

Speaker 39 That's the one thing I know about football.

Speaker 44 I got it.

Speaker 46 Final. Oh, shit.

Speaker 4 You know what I mean? It might be that. No, I don't know.

Speaker 81 She's talking about

Speaker 76 the year they got drafted. Yeah.

Speaker 51 I remember this so specifically because I was laughing so hard about it.

Speaker 51 There was an ole miss player, right, who was Twitter, was like kind of, because the Twins have been in the NFL like 10 years or something.

Speaker 36 Yeah.

Speaker 60 So Twitter was sort of newish, right? Yeah.

Speaker 51 It would have been like.

Speaker 75 It was probably around that same draft as Aaron Hernandez.

Speaker 40 Exactly. 09 or or something.

Speaker 58 Right. So it's a couple of years old, but it's not like what it is now.

Speaker 51 And so it's like, oh, let's go on Twitter and this old miss player was tweeting like hilarious shit about everybody in the draft.

Speaker 51 And when that was the year that they didn't enter the draft the same year. So Marquise

Speaker 51 went like the year before Mike or vice versa.

Speaker 75 right? Pouncey. Yeah, I don't remember what that was.

Speaker 51 So whichever one was first, he gets drafted

Speaker 51 and

Speaker 51 the brothers stand up and they kissed.

Speaker 10 And they kissed like on the lips.

Speaker 27 That's how that happened.

Speaker 59 And then that dude

Speaker 58 wrote, Pouncey Twins be gay.

Speaker 31 Because they kissed.

Speaker 51 And so I started tweeting at that dude, the old miss player, and he blocked me.

Speaker 39 Oh, what did you say to him?

Speaker 58 I was like, they be gay, huh?

Speaker 7 Like, I just kept trying to provoke them.

Speaker 75 But it was. And you've held that now for over a decade in your brain, Christina.

Speaker 39 Yeah, it's amazing.

Speaker 39 came out of that vault right away. It's like the joke just

Speaker 39 talking about it if you're if you're yeah, because I remember you saying it palsy twins be gay, and you would say it around the house, and then it's like lock that up for somewhere.

Speaker 33 I can't remember what I had to see if you remember that.

Speaker 39 Oh, yeah, I don't know what I did yesterday,

Speaker 39 but I know palsy twins be gay, and I know talk about practice.

Speaker 40 That's right.

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Speaker 9 This is really going to cost you me precious.

Speaker 9 Oh, yeah. I'm talking here to a wall.

Speaker 80 Hey, hey, folks, Mark Norman here. It's raining in disgusting New York, but gotta give a shout out to your mom's house.
What's the best moment?

Speaker 80 Well, Compton's cans are hard to pass up, but for me, it was fun zinging Segura five years ago about how fat and gross he used to be.

Speaker 80 Check out that clip from the old show. That was a doozy.
But yeah, love what you guys are doing. Christina peas the shit and we're all glad Ari left.

Speaker 7 Ugh.

Speaker 80 Comedy.

Speaker 24 They sent me a set that I did.

Speaker 36 Oh,

Speaker 51 like two years into stand-up. Yeah.
A friend of mine, I was like, what?

Speaker 23 He's like, yeah, I recorded this.

Speaker 59 And

Speaker 7 I could not watch it.

Speaker 76 I started to watch it and I was like,

Speaker 40 like started to sweat can i say about you you're the one of the rare cases like usually you watch a guy's 15 year old set and you're like man you were so young and thin you looked like hell back then and you look great now thanks man you went the other way the other way yeah yeah you were like a big guy with only facial hair it's the only advantage to like not giving a fuck about yourself when you're young it's like i also see friends from high school and like they look like shit now yes right and then i look better than i did in high school exactly and they're like oh what happened i'm like i don't know That's when you neglect yourself when you're young.

Speaker 28 Yeah. You can improve later in life.

Speaker 80 I look at sometimes all, because I'm a big stand-up nerd. I watch everything.
So I watch your old stuff, and I'm like, you can just look at you and go, he'll never make it.

Speaker 80 He's so unappealing looking that he's fucked. Like, you looked like a guy who liked wings and tits.
That was like your look. You know, it kind of had a vagacy.
There was a shiny shirt involved.

Speaker 80 And your hair was pointy down.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 28 And you're like, this guy's a fucking mess. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Like, you're like, I would never hang out with this guy.

Speaker 80 He's going nowhere. You look like you had flames on your car, Prado.

Speaker 31 Let's see.

Speaker 7 There's some.

Speaker 80 Give me a real on stage, like a real guy.

Speaker 46 Oh, that's that's rough. That's bad.

Speaker 80 There, look at the gold chain, the chest hair. I mean, this guy works at a place called Diamonds, and it's a strip club.

Speaker 14 It shouldn't happen on the album.

Speaker 80 I'm scrolling.

Speaker 51 Let's see what else we got here.

Speaker 52 Oh, this is.

Speaker 21 Look, look how big I am right there.

Speaker 80 Yeah, but that's kind of a sitcom.

Speaker 51 Yeah, that is a sitcom look.

Speaker 80 I'm talking, you know, those shiny black shirts and the fun hair.

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 14 The gold chain, man.

Speaker 80 Oh, there's a guy.

Speaker 75 Come on.

Speaker 51 You think I like to tell him holding the mic flag.

Speaker 80 And then look at that one on Conan. You're like this distinguished dude with the suit and the gray.
You look cool as shit. Like, that looks like a guy who sells a badass tequila.

Speaker 31 Yeah.

Speaker 14 That is the guy who sells tequila.

Speaker 80 Oh, there he is. Look at that one with the

Speaker 80 green button down there. Yeah.

Speaker 52 Come on.

Speaker 28 Was that Ben Glebe?

Speaker 80 Oh, yeah. But you were still getting laid.

Speaker 28 Christina with the bangs.

Speaker 51 She's got the bangs. Yeah.
Look, that's me when I first got to LA on the right.

Speaker 32 This one.

Speaker 35 The other one.

Speaker 18 To the right.

Speaker 35 That's me when I first got it.

Speaker 46 Oh, hey, well, that guy's a smoke show.

Speaker 50 That's how I got laid at 24.

Speaker 18 What happened?

Speaker 51 I just fucking neglected myself. Yeah, I guess so.

Speaker 80 Because the one next to it, that's like a before and after

Speaker 58 or aviews.

Speaker 51 That's like, oh, I started doing stand-up, and

Speaker 51 I don't know what's going to happen with my life. This is scary.

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 45 You know?

Speaker 7 Right.

Speaker 80 Yeah, but you got good bones. No pun intended.
Like, you're like a house that's it was falling apart, but you can see when you reduce all the fat, the bone structure is not that bad.

Speaker 80 Not bad, and the eyeballs are gorgeous. Yeah, you're solid.

Speaker 43 Ah, that was good.

Speaker 10 I like that one.

Speaker 9 Oh my gosh, Dr.

Speaker 8 Drew.

Speaker 85 I've been asked to reminisce a little bit about one of my favorite times on YMH.

Speaker 85 And immediately, when I thought about it, what came to mind was my very first experience with Tama Christina where I went out to

Speaker 85 way out in the deep San Fernando Valley and they pulled me into their garage or something they were filming in at the time.

Speaker 85 And Tom began showing me horrible videos.

Speaker 85 And Christina thought that was very funny.

Speaker 70 And especially this video.

Speaker 85 This one stands out in my memory.

Speaker 85 It was an introduction to a man with whom I would become, let's say, intimate.

Speaker 4 I certainly was sitting in his living room, not, well, a little while after that in New York City.

Speaker 85 The cameraman I was with never recovered from that experience, Paul, sorry. But it was my introductory experience to none other than Robert Paul Champagne.

Speaker 62 Do you think the person involved in the clip is

Speaker 51 taking drugs?

Speaker 85 Is it one of you two? No, it's not you.

Speaker 13 Okay, okay. I can't wait.

Speaker 29 Black guys who love to fucking fuck good.

Speaker 29 If you're a hot black guy and you want to fuck me at $23.95, if you want to move in, you can move in, but you got to fuck me.

Speaker 29 I need to be fucked a lot, man.

Speaker 43 Yeah, we got it.

Speaker 29 Free food, free rent, and everything else, man. Here's a deal, man.

Speaker 11 Oh, boy. Hold on.

Speaker 29 If you're in jail, homeless, or you're a thug, you want to come move in? Your friend can move with you too, man. Free rent, you can leave some of you.

Speaker 77 Fuck me.

Speaker 29 Piss on me. Beat me.
I home me out. You see me? You want to come over today and try it out? try it out, man.

Speaker 11 I just get sad when I see that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, I mean, what's happening?

Speaker 26 First of all, look how dark the circles are around his eyes.

Speaker 13 What do you think that does not look well?

Speaker 11 I was being drugged, man.

Speaker 52 I didn't slept in a month. And then I just smell meth.

Speaker 11 I can smell meth.

Speaker 51 Well, the first time we played, it was interesting. I said, you know, the funny thing about this, you play this over and over again.

Speaker 40 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 12 And this is a regular clip on the show.

Speaker 4 So, Jesus. Just that.

Speaker 4 Just that. You're not worried about your souls now.

Speaker 11 Forget his. Oh, we're ruined.
I know, I see that.

Speaker 70 I'm going to bring in my questionnaire.

Speaker 11 We're ruined.

Speaker 51 But this, I was like, you know, there's some part of every man's brain that has wanted to

Speaker 3 express these feelings. Yeah, but this.
Just fuck me.

Speaker 51 But I'm saying for someone to actually pull out a camera and go to the bottom.

Speaker 70 No, and to be this disconnected and all of it.

Speaker 52 This was somebody who was like...

Speaker 70 severely beaten as a child.

Speaker 13 It's like, oh, yeah.

Speaker 26 Is that what's happening?

Speaker 70 Yeah, that's just all I see is just abuse, abuse, abuse.

Speaker 69 Because he's probably probably the abuse again.

Speaker 13 Yeah, yeah, he's reenacting.

Speaker 39 Oh, he's reenacting the trauma to try to solve it or whatever.

Speaker 69 Or whatever that is.

Speaker 70 Whatever our brain does. It makes us do that.

Speaker 39 That's interesting. So the dark.

Speaker 39 What's with the ball on his head?

Speaker 39 Well, that's just a BG there.

Speaker 39 It's very dark. It's not well lit.

Speaker 81 He's shirtless.

Speaker 51 His spot-on analysis made this sad for me now.

Speaker 62 Yeah, it is.

Speaker 43 What they're all sad.

Speaker 70 That's why I could never go to strip clubs and things.

Speaker 23 I'm like, oh, these women are supposed to be a little bit more. Well, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 13 Yeah, same here.

Speaker 39 No, it's empowering. Don't you know? It's supposed to be empowering.

Speaker 23 That's what they say. I know.

Speaker 62 It is. You guys don't get it.

Speaker 39 So he, yeah.

Speaker 29 In my building, try it out. If you want to fuck a piss on me, try it out.
Seriously, only goes, fuck, man. I'm looking for hardcore guys.
I mean it and want to do it. And I want to deliver it.

Speaker 29 I'm a hot fuck.

Speaker 85 White trash. Good job.

Speaker 51 People just send this in to us.

Speaker 13 Oh, that's nice. Yeah.

Speaker 10 I'm so glad I'm talking to your fans.

Speaker 10 This is very nice. This is the tip of nice.

Speaker 9 He actually looked like Tommy, so I like this one.

Speaker 55 My absolute favorite moment of the podcast is when Charo and Blanca are on the episode and Charo bets Tom $500 that the man in the video is not Tom and he responds with okay but then later denies ever saying okay and they were just off and running.

Speaker 12 I missed.

Speaker 60 You missed it?

Speaker 87 Yeah, because I don't know who fell.

Speaker 7 Two guys jump into the.

Speaker 85 No, it's not two guys.

Speaker 51 There's definitely not two.

Speaker 60 Just watch the one screen, Blanca.

Speaker 87 Oh, okay.

Speaker 3 Go look up by yourself.

Speaker 40 Just the screen right here.

Speaker 14 This screen. Oh, this screen.

Speaker 43 This is okay.

Speaker 87 I also want to look at it. That's what I thought.

Speaker 88 Okay. Erase that thing.

Speaker 7 Okay. Here.
Okay.

Speaker 45 Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 45 Oh, my God.

Speaker 21 Oh, oh, my gosh.

Speaker 53 That's a thing.

Speaker 7 That is

Speaker 45 already happened.

Speaker 87 Oh, he broke the glass and his his body is all. And you think it's funny?

Speaker 31 I did.

Speaker 87 You did that?

Speaker 53 They think it's funny. Yeah, I did that.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 87 You broke that glass?

Speaker 53 Yeah.

Speaker 87 That's stupid.

Speaker 51 I know.

Speaker 68 I was trying to dive straight through the thing into the window hole.

Speaker 87 And you didn't realize there was a glass there.

Speaker 45 Right.

Speaker 39 That's in our old house.

Speaker 45 Hi!

Speaker 87 Oh my gosh, that is horrible.

Speaker 89 Did that for real happened? Oh, no.

Speaker 43 Yeah, that really happened.

Speaker 39 That was in the house, the last house happened.

Speaker 76 And that didn't. I gotta tell you something.

Speaker 45 It hurt.

Speaker 87 Oh, I bet. It's amazing that you don't have any scratches.

Speaker 89 But that's not you.

Speaker 87 How much blood did you have?

Speaker 28 A good amount of blood.

Speaker 89 That's not Tommy.

Speaker 10 That's me.

Speaker 33 That's him. Yeah.

Speaker 45 Okay, do it again.

Speaker 87 I thought you were smarter than that.

Speaker 45 Okay.

Speaker 88 I bet you.

Speaker 40 I'm only making this in bet. That's funny.

Speaker 88 But I'm going to bet $500 that's not you. And if I am right, you pay me.

Speaker 87 You know what? I realize now you have that hair. That's just not what they realize.

Speaker 87 Yeah.

Speaker 17 Everybody, everybody cares that I just make $500.

Speaker 39 What did you just say?

Speaker 31 Keep going.

Speaker 80 That is a really...

Speaker 60 Wait, no one even took you up on the bet.

Speaker 6 That's not how bets. Bets don't want to.

Speaker 21 Here, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Speaker 19 Bets don't go, I bet this, and then it is a thing.

Speaker 6 Someone has to say, I'll take that bet.

Speaker 12 Tell him to do that.

Speaker 6 Someone has to say, I'll take that bet.

Speaker 10 You did.

Speaker 60 Did I say I'll take that bet?

Speaker 7 I did not hear that. okay play it

Speaker 6 play it play it no no no no no no no no wait wait wait wait wait and no no wait no wait no here's what i want here's what i want here's what i want i want no no no no you're you're gonna pay me when you hear that it's not recorded

Speaker 6 that's the bet

Speaker 60 you're gonna pay me when you hear that it's not recorded

Speaker 28 you gotta talk to the mic

Speaker 88 listen to the answer

Speaker 88 I said, that's not you, and if it's not you, and I'm right, you pay me 500.

Speaker 15 Your answer was okay and i said okay play it i did not say okay oh my gosh there's a whole room of people yeah but they cheat to fail to help you no yes they play it like it was charo i would never lie to you okay i did not hear that okay

Speaker 39 he's right there was no contract made there was

Speaker 60 you got to pay me now i swear okay you can swear all you want but now when you hear that wait wait when you hear that i didn't say okay do you agree that you will pay me if he doesn't cheat and you have to prove prove to me that he doesn't cheat.

Speaker 53 No, he's buying words.

Speaker 87 I cheek, God, you didn't realize he was playing with words.

Speaker 53 Well, who's playing with words?

Speaker 89 No, no, no. Let me tell you one thing, Tommy.

Speaker 14 Who's playing with words? No, you missed. How?

Speaker 88 No. By saying

Speaker 88 that.

Speaker 87 No, I bet. And we didn't

Speaker 87 think that you were really betting. Okay.
This is.

Speaker 12 Okay.

Speaker 21 Okay.

Speaker 19 Wait, I didn't bet.

Speaker 41 What are you talking about?

Speaker 91 You're the one that said I bet.

Speaker 14 How am I playing with words?

Speaker 90 And your answer was okay.

Speaker 6 It was not. I swear.

Speaker 10 It was not. Please, guys, help me.

Speaker 39 There's a whole room full of people who have watched

Speaker 87 the station. Yeah, but they all help Tommy.

Speaker 21 Why? Why would they help me?

Speaker 60 They would love to see me lose the bet.

Speaker 6 What are you talking about?

Speaker 88 Okay, then do it.

Speaker 7 Then do it. Put the okay in there.

Speaker 19 No. Put the okay in there?

Speaker 89 Watch it again.

Speaker 21 You're asking me to lie?

Speaker 88 No, watch the okay again and please tape it.

Speaker 8 Wait, so

Speaker 60 I want to be clear about how you think bets work. You think a bet is like, hey, I bet that if this dog runs across the street, it's a thousand.

Speaker 6 And if someone goes, okay, that's a bet?

Speaker 28 No, no, I'm not.

Speaker 87 That's what I didn't think it would be a bet.

Speaker 88 If you are smart, and you are smart and you are my son, it has to be a part of me in there.

Speaker 89 So, I, number one, I don't like.

Speaker 87 And number two, when I make a bet, part of Charlington?

Speaker 88 I am very careful with my bets.

Speaker 39 And when I told you, but he never agreed to that bet.

Speaker 53 But nobody bet you.

Speaker 39 He didn't agree to that. He has to agree to the bet for there to be a bet.

Speaker 90 You guys don't get it. I said, I bet you $500.

Speaker 39 Yeah, but he didn't say great. Bet is is on.

Speaker 88 I get it, no.

Speaker 9 He says, okay.

Speaker 39 He didn't agree to the bet.

Speaker 49 Oh, my God.

Speaker 39 You have to agree to the bet for there to be a bet.

Speaker 87 So the word okay is not a bet.

Speaker 39 No, he just was like, uh, okay. Like, it wasn't a consent.

Speaker 53 Okay, what did you say?

Speaker 12 She's helping me.

Speaker 53 I don't think I said anything.

Speaker 39 I don't think he said okay. I think that he say okay.
Tell me. Annie's the sound.
Listen, any listens to us to make sure

Speaker 40 we hear

Speaker 39 the exciting factor. Annie, did my husband say

Speaker 7 okay?

Speaker 51 No, definitely not.

Speaker 28 And this is the most hilarious gaslight I've ever heard in my life.

Speaker 91 Hey, by the way, this is how I grew up.

Speaker 60 This is how I grew up with this nonsense 24-7.

Speaker 3 All of a sudden, the argument is: did you say okay?

Speaker 43 No, you didn't consent to the bed.

Speaker 7 I see. No.

Speaker 39 Charles, all you did was a single.

Speaker 60 You're turning again. You're away from the mic.

Speaker 14 Move. Okay.
Turn your chair.

Speaker 53 Turn your chair the other way.

Speaker 19 The other way.

Speaker 89 Jesus. This is a microphone

Speaker 41 sorry.

Speaker 39 So, Charo, what happened was you just had a thought that you expressed out loud. As in,

Speaker 39 I, hey, I bet that's not Tom. I bet five.

Speaker 39 And then, and then you, in your mind, heard him go, yeah, that's a bet. That's not what happened, baby.
You just went, hey, oh my god, I bet, I'll bet $500. That's not Tom.

Speaker 15 And then that's it. You know what?

Speaker 88 Your sister's a career. You know what?

Speaker 31 Yeah.

Speaker 87 I agree. That's true.

Speaker 39 I'm an impartial.

Speaker 89 Okay, I want a lawyer.

Speaker 21 You know what?

Speaker 60 It's like talking to a crazy person.

Speaker 23 That's what everybody thinks about.

Speaker 3 Yeah, and you are the crazy person.

Speaker 80 No.

Speaker 92 No. I know.

Speaker 14 Go around the room.

Speaker 87 Their club is all in your soul.

Speaker 4 Your sister just agreed.

Speaker 15 My sister doesn't hear

Speaker 87 you holding your hand on my face.

Speaker 88 She's deaf. You're the wife.

Speaker 39 And they are all in tomb. You were just excited, I think.

Speaker 39 Okay, so

Speaker 39 can we move forward?

Speaker 53 Can we go on?

Speaker 87 Yes, yes. Let's move forward.

Speaker 14 Let's move forward.

Speaker 13 That was like fun.

Speaker 9 That's okay. Gosh, finally.

Speaker 84 Okay, Tom and Chris doing a best of

Speaker 84 episode. Obviously, running out of ideas, a little desperate.
What's my favorite moment in YMH history? I've never seen the show.

Speaker 27 Okay.

Speaker 84 I've never seen the show. Not interested in the show.
Never seen the show. Good morning, Julia.

Speaker 84 That guy's one of the funniest guys on planet Earth. I think that guy is brilliant.
I don't don't know. Is he dead? He might be dead.
Anyway, I love you, Tom. I love you, Chris.

Speaker 95 Kisses.

Speaker 80 Oh, God. Good morning, Julia.

Speaker 68 It's me, Joe.

Speaker 68 Just wanted to say hi. Wish you a great day.
Tell you that meeting you yesterday

Speaker 68 and getting a look at you was probably one of the greatest moments of my life. You were so beautiful.
You don't know how beautiful you are to me.

Speaker 68 I mean, just you're gorgeous. You're precious.

Speaker 51 He met her at a club and got her number, and then she woke woke up to this.

Speaker 23 This

Speaker 13 inbox.

Speaker 96 Sweet guy. Sweet so far.
Yeah, you're gorgeous.

Speaker 97 He's got a good goatee. He combed his hair.
He's got the fan running.

Speaker 11 I like this.

Speaker 97 It's a great goatee.

Speaker 96 It's in the world of goatees.

Speaker 97 He's got it. That's the one.

Speaker 97 He's got a cute little butcher underneath there, so the more hair is growing in the crevice.

Speaker 68 But it's been sitting in my mind when you said to me you want to go back with your ex-boyfriend.

Speaker 68 Please erase him from your memory. Please, don't ever go back in the past.

Speaker 68 I know, because I've been there, and I understand when you're trying to find somebody and you go on dates, and nothing compares to your ex.

Speaker 97 Hold on, he was religious, by the way. You didn't see the cross in the hallway.

Speaker 43 I saw it, I saw it. Well, this is letting you know what kind of guy he is.

Speaker 13 Yeah, he's a good guy. He's a good guy.

Speaker 51 He also lets her know that if she were to not go back to her ex and go with him, that she would forget about her ex.

Speaker 68 I will love you like you've never been loved before.

Speaker 69 I believe it.

Speaker 68 I will cherish you.

Speaker 68 I'll make you feel

Speaker 43 like a real woman. He does like a fan.

Speaker 68 And believe me, after you experience me, you won't even know who your ex-boyfriend is.

Speaker 51 It's like almost like the I Make You Come guy.

Speaker 86 Threat.

Speaker 97 Similar proposal.

Speaker 86 Yep.

Speaker 39 And then a lot of cool guys on this podcast today.

Speaker 39 Creepy guy opened me.

Speaker 68 Open to me in your arms.

Speaker 11 Oh, boy. Both.

Speaker 3 Let's go full throttle.

Speaker 68 Oh, yeah. I could see me falling in love with you.

Speaker 68 It just, I don't know. I just looked in your eyes and I just melt.

Speaker 11 Wow.

Speaker 43 This guy's a fucking romantic.

Speaker 4 Yeah, right. I can tell you, I'm liking this guy a lot.

Speaker 68 I like everything he's got going on.

Speaker 58 Let's set this guy up with his sister.

Speaker 43 With my sister. Come on.

Speaker 96 Yeah.

Speaker 97 Let's see what else he's got to say. I mean, I'm so interested in this guy's rhetoric.

Speaker 51 Do you, when you, for me, when I see something like this, my immediate feeling is like.

Speaker 15 My new best friend.

Speaker 22 My new best friend, who I'm so humiliated for.

Speaker 51 But I also go like, because we were talking about last week, that this is what happens in my mind is i start thinking about embarrassing things that you've done yes yeah and i get washed over with that uh shame i got i got videos i got videos that are pretty similar to this so yeah pretty close what's the worst one and how old are you

Speaker 97 pretty close 34 when the first one get no um

Speaker 97 probably

Speaker 97 uh probably put out a little um

Speaker 97 i was probably on the cusp of the first round of dick pics and uh sent a uh

Speaker 97 sent a halfy.

Speaker 43 I thought that was

Speaker 97 just not a fully, just like a half chub, you know? Oh, okay, okay.

Speaker 27 Yeah.

Speaker 39 I mean, I've never gotten one because he and I hooked up in the time of Friendster.

Speaker 27 Oh, yeah. I've never even

Speaker 97 sent my wife a dick pic, no chance.

Speaker 91 When you sent this picture,

Speaker 97 like a half.

Speaker 43 Little halfy.

Speaker 27 Do you text it?

Speaker 15 Yeah, it was a text.

Speaker 80 What was that?

Speaker 96 No, I think it was an email, to be honest with you.

Speaker 13 An email.

Speaker 97 Yeah, I think it was an email, a pick email.

Speaker 4 Is it a response?

Speaker 97 No, and that probably is the

Speaker 97 nail in the coffin.

Speaker 39 And how did you meet this girl? And what's the.

Speaker 97 It was like friend of a friend type of shit. Don't really know her that well.
A lot of flirting.

Speaker 97 I thought, real horny, I'm going to send you this penis pic.

Speaker 97 Got no response and got nothing ever again. I think it was an indication of my

Speaker 97 lack of skill. Really? Yeah.

Speaker 51 Was there,

Speaker 51 but it wasn't at it, like, you weren't just like, oh, I met you. Here's a dick pic.

Speaker 3 There was like a lot.

Speaker 97 No, there was a lot of communication.

Speaker 51 And then she saw it. Ghost.

Speaker 97 Wow. Yeah.
Not a cool cool penis. Bye.

Speaker 97 Not a cool penis. Bye.

Speaker 43 That's my name in my bio.

Speaker 43 You send me the picture. I'll send you the photo.
Okay, thanks.

Speaker 13 And it's just half.

Speaker 43 It's half.

Speaker 15 Yeah, but here's what I'm thinking. It's like, hey, I'm getting a picture.

Speaker 51 I bet you it was better than you think it is.

Speaker 97 I think it got sent around to friends.

Speaker 9 Tommy, please.

Speaker 87 And who would believe it?

Speaker 9 Ryan Sickler.

Speaker 50 Hey guys, Ryan Sickler here.

Speaker 80 I'm very fortunate to have a bunch of crazy moments and fun times on YMH, but I would have to say the wildest moment would be the Jesse Lee Peterson episode coming full circle like

Speaker 80 I had no idea what that show was I thought I was being punked I had no clue what was going on and then boom here comes YMH to save the day we have been so obsessed so obsessed

Speaker 94 white history month right and every month white history month i hear that all the time

Speaker 79 i mean it is that's the way they built it

Speaker 21 How is it ever?

Speaker 98 What is White History Month?

Speaker 3 Where we take a pause to recognize

Speaker 16 the men who founded and created the greatest country on this side of heaven.

Speaker 4 And

Speaker 16 because right now they're trying to erase that history and put on a fake history. And so I don't want the younger generation.
to forget real history. Otherwise, they're not going to

Speaker 16 appreciate America.

Speaker 94 Yeah, I did not know that was a sign.

Speaker 4 So this is like,

Speaker 51 this is towards the beginning.

Speaker 58 So it's like, I feel like,

Speaker 51 okay, what's going on here? He just blocked this out.

Speaker 39 This is so traumatic.

Speaker 41 You're like, God, I never want to.

Speaker 4 When I left, I was so, I called my manager. What the fuck? Yeah.
Did you just send me him?

Speaker 21 What was that?

Speaker 11 I go, at first, I'm confused.

Speaker 3 He goes, I didn't know either.

Speaker 4 He didn't look it up either.

Speaker 69 I go, that's hilarious.

Speaker 80 I fucking spent about 10 minutes in the mud trying to figure out what's really going on. And then after I figure it out, then it just gets fucking fun.

Speaker 50 Yeah.

Speaker 43 Look at your kids, you have to do that.

Speaker 98 I have two kids.

Speaker 94 My daughter's seven, and her brother is my stepson. He just turned 19.

Speaker 16 And are they white?

Speaker 94 My daughter is, and my stepson is mixed.

Speaker 16 Oh, we need white babies.

Speaker 79 Oh, my God.

Speaker 79 We got one.

Speaker 77 We got one.

Speaker 48 She's, I mean, look at it.

Speaker 4 That's such a crazy thing. She's loving it.

Speaker 39 Even your posture,

Speaker 39 when you're sitting like this, and you're kind of like, what the fuck?

Speaker 12 Like, I know this is.

Speaker 80 There was a moment where I was like, really ready to just be like, all right, I don't have time for this. I'm going to get up and leave.

Speaker 86 Really? Yeah.

Speaker 80 Yeah.

Speaker 50 I mean, my time's fucking valuable. Yeah.

Speaker 69 I'm like, is this a clown?

Speaker 80 Like, what is this? Yeah.

Speaker 69 He said there needs to be more white babies.

Speaker 51 Oh, that's a big, that's one of his big stances.

Speaker 98 That's a big stance.

Speaker 4 But that's not all.

Speaker 4 He got into so much shit where I finally, I'm like, okay, dude.

Speaker 39 That's like shit my family says in Hungary.

Speaker 80 He asked me rapid-fire questions at the end, real quick, too. You got no time to think about it.

Speaker 21 But I want to ask you: What do you think about the attack upon men today in America?

Speaker 16 Men are the most

Speaker 16 species of this side of heaven. And they're doing everything to erase them.
What do you think about that?

Speaker 94 I mean, who's trying to erase men? Yeah.

Speaker 16 The people who hate men, liberals,

Speaker 16 and some

Speaker 16 Republican women and others.

Speaker 80 Republican women, not men.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Only the Republican women.

Speaker 16 What is the purpose of the attack upon me?

Speaker 16 Why is this attack happening to men?

Speaker 10 What is he talking about?

Speaker 98 Honest to God, I don't know where we're going with this.

Speaker 94 I don't think men are under any different attack than women are.

Speaker 11 You don't think so?

Speaker 98 Well, look who's attacking the women. Who?

Speaker 29 The men. In what way?

Speaker 98 In what not way.

Speaker 51 I love seeing the...

Speaker 23 Like the, it hit you.

Speaker 22 Because you're being like a gracious guest to start. And you're like, wait,

Speaker 80 I'm trying, yeah, but I've never heard any shit like this come out of a black people.

Speaker 16 I mean, an an example.

Speaker 80 Listen, for one thing, there's also a part in this when he's saying shit about black people where I don't want,

Speaker 80 I almost, eventually I do, but I'm like, I want to be like, aren't you black? But I don't want to say, aren't you black?

Speaker 21 Because if he's like, I'm Creole or some other Cuban, or I'm like, then I'm a fucking, I'm as bad as he is.

Speaker 4 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 31 So I'm confused.

Speaker 4 Like, what is going on right now?

Speaker 92 Are you not? Like, what?

Speaker 16 Do you believe that racism exists?

Speaker 46 Of course.

Speaker 16 Do you have any proof of that? Yeah. Can you give me an example? A proof.

Speaker 22 Proof that racism exists?

Speaker 98 Right.

Speaker 98 Are you serious?

Speaker 98 You can't even be serious.

Speaker 80 Slavery?

Speaker 98 How about we take decades, the 50s, the 60s?

Speaker 98 I'm talking to...

Speaker 77 This is where

Speaker 77 you're black, yeah.

Speaker 98 Do you believe racism?

Speaker 43 That's where I stop myself right there.

Speaker 91 Am I talking to a black man?

Speaker 92 Am I not?

Speaker 91 And I caught myself like, I better not fucking say that shit.

Speaker 77 Because he might be

Speaker 31 or something like that

Speaker 91 I'm talking to it

Speaker 98 shut the fuck up man this might be real how about we take decades the 50s the 60s am I talking to

Speaker 74 He makes some very good points he is one of the good ones favorite moment from your mama's house podcast it's gotta be um when i was forced to watch that man be completely dismembered by a lathe on a Russian security footage video by the Lord of Darkness, Tom Segura.

Speaker 28 You sure you want to see it?

Speaker 14 Is it a lathe? It's gonna be on that.

Speaker 38 It's a lathe, right?

Speaker 38 Is it a jack?

Speaker 48 Uh, yeah.

Speaker 12 Oh, it is, huh?

Speaker 81 Here we go. He gets a little hurt.

Speaker 38 Russia, that's all I gotta know.

Speaker 27 You're missing it. I'm not fucking watching that.

Speaker 38 No, not.

Speaker 39 I saw it. I saw it.

Speaker 39 What more can happen?

Speaker 83 Oh, fucking A, Tom. Jesus Christ.

Speaker 77 Jesus fucking Christ.

Speaker 53 Oh, my God.

Speaker 31 Oh!

Speaker 38 I didn't know it was going to escalate so fast.

Speaker 51 He is not okay.

Speaker 38 He just got disintegrated.

Speaker 35 He got like dog meeted.

Speaker 46 He did.

Speaker 51 They have the high-res photos of the aftermath.

Speaker 53 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 28 It's not good.

Speaker 41 Wow.

Speaker 59 Yeah. You got to not

Speaker 38 work at a place.

Speaker 34 Just don't work there.

Speaker 7 Don't work there.

Speaker 13 Cut it out.

Speaker 9 Cut it out. No, no, no, no, no.
Cut it out there's a limit for everything that's absolutely no

Speaker 99 99

Speaker 99 so many great memories from ymh but i guess not just my favorite memory from ymh but my favorite memory of all time was when you guys sent me on that all expense paid trip to a men's retreat and I learned the importance of sunbathing my taint.

Speaker 99 Up until that point, my taint had been cold and hard. And after that point, it was warm,

Speaker 99 alive, and so was I. So thank you for that.

Speaker 6 Thank you.

Speaker 6 We know you're in there! Tom!

Speaker 31 Duncan?

Speaker 53 No way! You doing this?

Speaker 17 Dude, I already did it.

Speaker 25 It's a life changer. Oh my God.
I started making more money, getting more bitches. Nice.
I kicked this immigrant family out of their house.

Speaker 4 Hell yeah, dude.

Speaker 99 I just want to get hard without pills.

Speaker 51 This can do that.

Speaker 25 Oh, keep an eye on my guy, Tanner. He's kind of susceptible to things.

Speaker 74 What do you mean?

Speaker 78 Some things just don't go away, you know?

Speaker 12 Sure. Okay.
No problem, man.

Speaker 43 Thank you, man. I appreciate it.

Speaker 7 You got it.

Speaker 51 Tanner, listen to what he says, okay?

Speaker 48 He's got a beautiful cock.

Speaker 74 Let's get naked.

Speaker 99 Um, is there a way for to not do naked?

Speaker 74 That is totally fine. We got some other options.

Speaker 55 Let's shake off and meet my intention.

Speaker 74 I am doubtless.

Speaker 7 I am doubtless.

Speaker 74 I am fearless.

Speaker 43 I am fearless.

Speaker 74 Exhale, grunt and growl at your ball.

Speaker 74 Beautiful. Now slapped your nuts.

Speaker 74 Let's get butt-fucked by the most masculine force in our galaxy the fucking Sun

Speaker 9 There is a limit to me that is disgusting. No, I don't take it another bracelet good morning Julia.

Speaker 93 Hi mommies

Speaker 93 I was recently asked to come up with my favorite YMH moments and I'm just taking a walk because I'm fat

Speaker 93 There's so many that I wouldn't really know where to start, but I will tell you there's one that stands out, and that is episode 358.

Speaker 93 And that is where Top Dog is doing his blonde jokes with Tommy. R.I.P.
Top Dog.

Speaker 93 I really don't think much people could argue this.

Speaker 93 It's almost an iconic episode at this point. It'll live on forever.
It'll be there on the internet long before we're all dead. It's a fantastic episode.
So, YMH,

Speaker 79 please play episode 358 where Top Dog does his blonde jokes with Tommy.

Speaker 93 Again, RP.

Speaker 93 Later, our words.

Speaker 60 You like jokes, right?

Speaker 73 I love jokes.

Speaker 51 Okay, so I wanted to read some jokes to you and

Speaker 51 talk, and you tell me what you think of these jokes. Okay.

Speaker 51 How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?

Speaker 73 I love blonde jokes, by the way.

Speaker 73 I don't know.

Speaker 51 It has a stamp on it.

Speaker 73 I love it.

Speaker 73 I love those jokes. Oh, I gotta love blonde jokes.

Speaker 51 Okay, how can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?

Speaker 32 I don't know.

Speaker 51 There's whiteout all over the monitor.

Speaker 73 Oh, I got it. I got one for you, too.

Speaker 23 Okay, go ahead. Go ahead.

Speaker 73 Okay, this blonde is sitting at a bar in Chicago watching

Speaker 73 one of these bars where they had the TV behind the bar. And there's some guy up on the ledge getting ready to jump.
So

Speaker 73 this guy sits down next to her. And he says to her,

Speaker 73 this is the 6 o'clock news.

Speaker 73 And he says, I bet you.

Speaker 73 He jumps. And the blonde says, I bet you, Drink, he doesn't.

Speaker 73 And all of a sudden,

Speaker 73 the guy jumps.

Speaker 73 And so

Speaker 73 the blonde says, I guess I owe you $20.

Speaker 73 And he said, no, I really can't take the money because I saw it on the five o'clock news.

Speaker 73 And the blonde says, so did I, but I thought he might change his mind.

Speaker 73 I think that's hilarious.

Speaker 82 Oh my god.

Speaker 82 I think that's so funny.

Speaker 11 Can you imagine?

Speaker 59 Yeah, that's funny.

Speaker 51 How do you drown a blonde?

Speaker 73 You know, have her stand in the shower for a long time.

Speaker 73 No.

Speaker 31 I don't know. I'm discussing.
I don't know. Okay.

Speaker 13 Just go, how?

Speaker 51 You put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

Speaker 73 That's funny. That's funny.

Speaker 31 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 51 What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?

Speaker 51 I don't know. Look, they spelled Macy's wrong.

Speaker 51 That's funny. That's funny.

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 73 I got one more blonde joke for you.

Speaker 26 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 51 Please keep it coming.

Speaker 73 Okay, so this blonde,

Speaker 73 she was going to go from New York to Europe, to London.

Speaker 73 So she just climbed on board and she sat in first class without a first class ticket.

Speaker 73 And the steward says, I'm sorry, miss, but you're not allowed. You have to go back in coach.

Speaker 73 She says, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to London in first class. Well, the stewardess never had anybody talk to her like that, so she went to get the co-pilot.

Speaker 73 The co-pilot came out and said, Miss, you got to go to the back of the coach with everybody else. You don't have first-class ticket.

Speaker 73 She goes, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and very busty, as you can see. I'm going to London in first class.

Speaker 73 Well, the co-pilot, he didn't know what to do. So he goes up and tells the captain.
The captain says, don't worry, I speak blonde.

Speaker 73 The captain goes back, whispers something to her ear. She pops up and runs back in the coach.

Speaker 73 And the other said, What did you say to her? I told her that only coach is going to London.

Speaker 73 I think that's hilarious.

Speaker 50 Yeah, that's good. Thumb broad.

Speaker 73 Can you imagine?

Speaker 73 So stupid.

Speaker 73 Figure out

Speaker 73 fake the airplane kind of divides itself here.

Speaker 33 I mean, how dumb can he get? Yeah.

Speaker 73 Really funny. Actually, I love that joke.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it's a good job.

Speaker 73 Sometimes I just tell jokes to myself to make myself laugh.

Speaker 41 Oh, my God.

Speaker 51 Really?

Speaker 73 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 14 Yeah. Seriously.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 51 Man, that's a lot of, I can see a broad doing that, though, you know?

Speaker 45 I could.

Speaker 73 Yeah, the other kind of jokes I like,

Speaker 73 I like Polish jokes.

Speaker 11 Yeah. Who doesn't?

Speaker 26 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 73 These two Pol Ox are driving down from Cincinnati to Miami on I-75, 675.

Speaker 73 They saw a sign that says clean restrooms ahead.

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 73 So the time they got to Miami, they cleaned 150.

Speaker 40 That's funny, actually. That's good.

Speaker 14 Never heard of that. That's good.

Speaker 73 You know what the world's shortest book is?

Speaker 8 What?

Speaker 73 Polish War Heroes.

Speaker 31 Oh, yeah. I've heard that one.

Speaker 39 The Hungarians used to go to the Russians.

Speaker 51 Why do blondes wear panties?

Speaker 73 I have no idea.

Speaker 43 To keep their ankles warm.

Speaker 43 Jesus.

Speaker 43 Oh, my God.

Speaker 11 Wow.

Speaker 73 Yeah.

Speaker 73 Yeah, I love those. I love my jokes.

Speaker 50 Hey, where do you look for blondes' obituaries?

Speaker 50 In the sports page.

Speaker 60 No, under home improvements.

Speaker 60 Oh, that's good.

Speaker 73 That's really funny.

Speaker 4 Good.

Speaker 62 That's pretty good, man.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 73 You know, it's, you know,

Speaker 73 you don't do any one-liners like this, but this is some good stuff here, buddy.

Speaker 9 He saw that they were so funny that he laughed so hard as he tell you the joke that you are laughing actually at him, no other joke.

Speaker 15 He was adorable.

Speaker 9 Anything he did was funny. Anything he did was good anyway.

Speaker 15 My favorite.

Speaker 10 Now you're making me cry.

Speaker 9 You're not typing this, me blowing my nose, no? Because I will cost four bracelets.

Speaker 95 My favorite, your mom's house memory is actually my least favorite memory when Christina and Tom forced me to watch the disgusting pigman norm piss and shit into a poutine and then eat, I can't, I gagged, I gagged into the garbage can.

Speaker 95 I almost threw up. I've never almost thrown up before like that in public on a podcast, almost barfed.
And then I looked up to see both of them, sheer glee on their face.

Speaker 95 I've never seen people happier.

Speaker 55 And it made me realize they are so in love.

Speaker 95 And it was a very nice moment to see two people so happy at somebody almost yakking on a very large podcast.

Speaker 95 But I guess it was a nice memory just to see how happy Tom and Christine are together in love.

Speaker 25 I think we're going to make French-Canadian poutine fries.

Speaker 30 What are poutine fries? Well, poutine fries are basically your fries,

Speaker 30 cheese, and a great appetite.

Speaker 60 What on God's Green Earth am I looking at right now? This norm summer. However,

Speaker 30 there's going to be a bit of a change to the recipe. Everybody likes to change the recipe.

Speaker 95 No, they don't.

Speaker 33 These ones are going to have fries,

Speaker 30 cheese,

Speaker 30 pig shit, and pig piss. Ooh, it's going to be a treat.

Speaker 39 He's Canadian too.

Speaker 56 No, don't, don't.

Speaker 4 He's from Calgary.

Speaker 95 Well, that makes sense.

Speaker 39 Keep those.

Speaker 30 Okay, so let's get

Speaker 95 things happening.

Speaker 59 Oh, no.

Speaker 95 Does it come out? If penis comes out,

Speaker 30 we'll pee on the fries first.

Speaker 95 Oh, my God. Thank you.

Speaker 15 What's accidental? Wait, what is it?

Speaker 88 It's in a cage.

Speaker 30 Pig shit dumped on my fries.

Speaker 20 I have water squirts.

Speaker 95 I can't look at this, actually.

Speaker 4 This is grotesque.

Speaker 56 Oh, no, he doesn't poo.

Speaker 40 It's just the beginning. No, it's just

Speaker 30 the fries are covered in pick pigs.

Speaker 86 What, you're not even proud to be Canadian anymore?

Speaker 15 This is our Canadian test.

Speaker 95 This is what we have to do.

Speaker 4 The sky fries.

Speaker 4 We have these fries.

Speaker 27 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 43 So every immigrant?

Speaker 56 No, no, I actually can't watch this.

Speaker 4 Watch this!

Speaker 31 I can't. I can't listen.

Speaker 53 Oh, my God. I hate you guys.

Speaker 31 Is it done yet again?

Speaker 43 Oh my god.

Speaker 43 Oh my god.

Speaker 56 This is the best part. No, I can't.
I can't.

Speaker 90 The fact that he's already watch this is making me sick.

Speaker 39 What's that?

Speaker 75 This is some cheese.

Speaker 84 I don't know why that's worse than the rest of it.

Speaker 4 Somehow that impresses me.

Speaker 46 Oh, God.

Speaker 57 He doesn't eat it.

Speaker 3 I'm actually about to throw up.

Speaker 39 Does he eat it? No, I can't look.

Speaker 27 No, just look. It's fine.

Speaker 31 I can't look.

Speaker 31 You gotta look. You just gotta watch.

Speaker 33 I fight the game.

Speaker 31 I think this guy has a garbage here.

Speaker 42 I'm not joking.

Speaker 32 I have to go throw up.

Speaker 53 I hate it.

Speaker 39 Why is it still going?

Speaker 42 Why are all your clips so off?

Speaker 32 I'm sad she's going to throw off.

Speaker 33 That's so bad.

Speaker 69 It has to stop. Okay, okay.

Speaker 4 It actually has to stop.

Speaker 4 I can't, you know what?

Speaker 7 I hate that middle.

Speaker 60 Like that, the Poutine video.

Speaker 95 I hate him so much.

Speaker 95 No, I'm actually like really upset right now.

Speaker 59 That's him now.

Speaker 95 No, he's a bad guy.

Speaker 51 But underneath it with the pig.

Speaker 46 See how it says.

Speaker 39 What the fuck is his problem?

Speaker 11 That's him now.

Speaker 51 He got the tattooed pig on his forehead.

Speaker 15 Why is he so sick about pigs?

Speaker 51 He likes being

Speaker 82 submissive to a couple doms.

Speaker 95 Those doms better be getting paid millions upon millions of dollars to go.

Speaker 51 I think they're getting anything they can get out of them.

Speaker 90 The smell that radiates off of that pig pissing clown, I can't.

Speaker 51 What's crazy is what you're saying right now is making him so hard.

Speaker 43 I know.

Speaker 17 Does he watch this?

Speaker 8 I don't know.

Speaker 9 That is disgusting. Now I'm really mad.

Speaker 10 No.

Speaker 84 What, everybody?

Speaker 75 It is I, the Roach, your host of Behind the Jeans, Josh Potter.

Speaker 46 How are you?

Speaker 75 I have been asked, what is my favorite YMH moment? Why there's only one choice, really.

Speaker 75 It is having the honor and privilege of getting to be the first person to cross through the threshold of 2395 Wagner Houses Apartment 2C in East Harlem and making first contact with Robert Paul Champagne.

Speaker 75 I mean, I felt like Neil Armstrong. I felt like a political dignitary going to a faraway land.
It was truly one of the best moments of my life and definitely my favorite moment on your mom's house.

Speaker 77 About to go to apartment 2C, see Robert Paul Champagne.

Speaker 77 Ooh, Ashley. Ashley.

Speaker 20 Hi, Robert.

Speaker 29 Hi, can you come in?

Speaker 77 This is Paul.

Speaker 43 He's our director.

Speaker 20 I'm Josh. I'm minus nothing great.

Speaker 20 Oh, that's okay. Where can we go? Where can we set up?

Speaker 33 No one here.

Speaker 75 Thank you for inviting us in your home, first and foremost. We're really happy to be here.
Thank you for all of your art that you've provided us with. I try.

Speaker 75 Some of it around the house here, I've noticed.

Speaker 29 A lot of art.

Speaker 75 So tell us how you

Speaker 75 came to be here in Harlem. You said this was your mother's place?

Speaker 86 Yep.

Speaker 20 She was a real chish. She hated the nursing home.

Speaker 20 And I, well, they agreed. They got the place of me.
It's like, okay, Mom, I'll go with you. But I'm crazy for Harlem, but I'll go with you.

Speaker 13 Right.

Speaker 20 Then she got worse and worse.

Speaker 20 She wasn't home too too much. She was getting sicker and sicker and I had a had a nurse here.
She was robbing me blind.

Speaker 43 I had to get rid of her.

Speaker 20 Then I had to put her in a nursing home.

Speaker 75 And now you're here. Is your mother still with us?

Speaker 20 No, she passed away in December.

Speaker 75 Passed away? Okay. But now you've inherited all her wares.

Speaker 20 Yeah, but I don't do half the stuff.

Speaker 75 You don't know what half the stuff is?

Speaker 75 No,

Speaker 20 I like the stuff, but that's why I said I've got to get somewhere to live. I got to put somebody on a wheel.
If anything happens to me, they're going to have antiques here.

Speaker 20 I have crystals

Speaker 20 from Ireland in there, glasses, and all this beautiful stuff.

Speaker 20 And I can't, anything happens to me.

Speaker 20 They're going to have a party.

Speaker 75 Yeah, that's true. I mean, that's always tough.
So what is your solution? What do you think's going to...

Speaker 20 I try, that's why I put it for two. I said,

Speaker 20 my edge was, you could be S-Con. You could be a thug, but but.

Speaker 13 But

Speaker 20 if you're here with me and we have our fun and you we go back and forth,

Speaker 20 you could be comfortable. I have the rooms that I can fix the room.
I got rooms of a mess. I've got to fix it up.

Speaker 20 I'll give you a room. I'll take another person in.
We could have a little fun as a family.

Speaker 20 I have nothing to leave stuff to.

Speaker 75 Right. And then the only thing that they would have to contribute is helping you move all of these things.

Speaker 20 You just move some of the stuff and, you know, fix it up.

Speaker 75 I think that's fair. That's a fair trade.

Speaker 20 And

Speaker 20 it's taking a room, put some in storage because

Speaker 75 I guess right it's the lot it's a lot of lifting and it's a lot of,

Speaker 75 you know, carrying up and down the stairs and things like that. You need some strong, bigger fellas to do that.

Speaker 20 I put it out, and

Speaker 20 people call it and make jokes out of it.

Speaker 13 Oh, well, that's- Like a ha ha ha ha.

Speaker 20 You know, you could be homeless, and you're making a joke.

Speaker 75 Yeah, that's sad. We shouldn't make jokes about those types of things.

Speaker 20 I got clothes.

Speaker 20 I told them what time you could shower, I got clothes, clean clothes for you, I got lots of toiletries. I mean, you go in a closet, you go pop anything out, right?

Speaker 75 And then, and here here they are making jokes. Yeah.
That's a shame. Have you had anybody that was a real serious

Speaker 75 possibility?

Speaker 20 Some guy, he's getting out in August, Sonrikas Island. But

Speaker 20 the deal is he has grand theft, and that is not a good deal.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 75 He's getting out in August, though? Yep. So you're thinking because of the grand theft, he might not make it out?

Speaker 20 No, no.

Speaker 20 I don't mind a rape or a little minor robbery, but grand theft, he sees antiques, I don't want to be the next victim.

Speaker 43 I hear you.

Speaker 20 That kind of bing.

Speaker 75 Yeah, so if he was a rapist.

Speaker 20 A rapist wouldn't bomb me because I wrote him.

Speaker 8 No, because then he can't rape you. You're willing.
You're down.

Speaker 43 Okay, but he will rope.

Speaker 86 But the robbery.

Speaker 20 The robbery, I'm thinking I've got antiques here, and I got

Speaker 75 some. You mentioned before we got started filming

Speaker 75 some famous names of lovers that you've had.

Speaker 20 Tom Selick.

Speaker 75 Tom Selick.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 75 Now, this is what year about?

Speaker 20 he was around the 80s

Speaker 75 Right, okay, so this was in his heyday. This is mustache Miami Vice Tom Selleck

Speaker 20 used to go to the eagle with the eagle the lure and the eagle he used to smoke his cigar and he wore a harness and and

Speaker 20 Everyone says Tom said we don't and I ever called him Tom I just I just say I say Tommy and he was just smoking cigars.

Speaker 20 We used to go back and forth and and we went to hotel rooms, but no one thought of Tom Silk because when he wore the leather, he wore glasses.

Speaker 11 Ah

Speaker 75 And that was like his Clark Kent to Superman, so he was he was kind of but he was bi right, so he was a little more shy about his

Speaker 75 gay side

Speaker 20 and I respect it.

Speaker 13 So, okay, okay, yeah, sure.

Speaker 20 What was uh, do you remember some of his favorite things to do when it comes to he was into water sports, he was into rips, he was into restrainance.

Speaker 20 Oh, he was he was about, he was so wild.

Speaker 9 Oh, is he retarded?

Speaker 22 Oh, favorite memory of your mom's house.

Speaker 100 So I get to Austin.

Speaker 48 It's 10 o'clock at night.

Speaker 100 I'm doing the podcast the next morning. I've been on a plane.
I decided to go for a walk, see the sights. Everyone is all about Austin these days.
Everyone's moving there. The business is going there.

Speaker 100 And I decided to just go check it out.

Speaker 59 Why not?

Speaker 100 I get out there. I start going for a walk, and it's insane.

Speaker 22 I mean, it is like Sodom and Gomorrah out there.

Speaker 100 It's the craziest thing I've ever seen. And I live in Los Angeles.

Speaker 100 I saw a homeless man who was not wearing a shirt, smoking crack, and loading a handgun at the same time.

Speaker 100 Favorite memory. Nothing to do with the actual podcast, just to do with how insane Austin is.
But congratulations, guys.

Speaker 9 Thank you for watching. Make sure to check out my show, Mui Muchacharo, please.
Anton has to buy me

Speaker 9 maybe a diamond bracelet for doing this Tommy will be back next week ta-da there is retarded what's up jeans it's your boy Doug

Speaker 101 you want my favorite moment of YMH it's gotta be the opening to Tom's birthday episode number 759 the I am

Speaker 50 Good Morning Julia song

Speaker 101 Freaking hilarious and one of the biggest tunes ever ever recorded. Not just comedy, like it's actually sick.
So, I was laughing and jamming at the same time. Good times.

Speaker 77 I mean just you're gorgeous, you're precious And uh Word has been sitting in my mind When you said to me you wanna go back with your ex-boyfriend

Speaker 77 Please erase him from your memory Don't ever go back in the past

Speaker 1 I know Cause I've been there and I understand when you know you're trying to find somebody and you go on dates

Speaker 1 And nothing compares to your express there is that better person out there, Julia. I promise you, it is me.
I'll love you like you've never been loved before.

Speaker 1 I will cherish you.

Speaker 1 I'll make you feel like a woman, a real woman.

Speaker 77 And believe me, after you experience me, you won't even know your ex-boyfriend is.

Speaker 77 So,

Speaker 77 I could see me falling in love with you. You're just, I don't know.

Speaker 77 I just looked in your eyes and I just melted anyhow. I'm heading off to work.
Child, baby, let's go full trot.

Speaker 31 Oh, baby, child, baby. Child, baby.

Speaker 31 Trial, baby, child, baby.

Speaker 43 This is my cute little home.

Speaker 77 Everything you see behind me, I built everything every square inch from crown molding, the chair rail, the floors, the lighting, the plumbing, doors, windows.

Speaker 77 So, this is the type of guy you're getting. I'm a very handy guy, and uh, I love to build you whatever you want.
You're a sweetheart, so I hope this video doesn't scare you, but that's how I feel.

Speaker 77 I just want you to know that, okay? And I look forward.

Speaker 91 I'm going out to dinner with you, so let's make it happen.

Speaker 91 Let's go, let's go, full child, baby.