Our Favorite Jeans w/ Charo | Your Mom's House Ep. 825

Well, welcome.

Welcome to your mom's house.

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Hello, I'm Charo.

Welcome to your mom's house.

Well, here I am doing a podcast with Tommy and Christina, and I have never seen them looking better.

Hey, Cristina, close your mouth.

A fly might get in.

But you look gorgeous.

And of course, Tommy, the boss, but I love them.

i can scream at them i can boss them around nobody say anything it looks so good oh my gosh i'm taking them with me

tom and christine are gone so of course i have to do the work for them tom is going to owe me so much for this he's going to regret not being here so here we go we asked fans and guests to send in their favorite moment from the podcast Our first guest, Stavros Kalikhielsk.

I can't pronounce it very well, but I know who he is.

And I love him.

I don't really have a favorite clip.

I do have a least favorite clip when you pieces of shit made me watch a guy eat shit.

Just came out of his ass like soft server and he lapped it up.

How the fuck is this even a successful show?

I love you both, but you scarred me that day.

The way we first learned about him was through one of his cooking shows.

He had a cooking video that became famous.

It was before he got his forehead tattooed.

Okay, okay.

Before he had titco.

Today we're going to make French-Canadian poutine fries.

What are poutine fries?

Well, poutine fries are basically your fries,

cheese, and a great appetite.

Wow, a great appetite.

Just like your grandpa's.

There's going to be a bit of a change in the recipe.

It stresses me out, too.

Fries, cheese,

pig shit, and pig piss.

Ooh, it's going to be a treat.

No!

Okay,

Yes, me.

Are you ready?

He paces through the cage,

which it's in his urethra, so I don't know how he's.

Oh, oh!

Oh, fuck.

No, dude.

No, mix it up.

Make sure all the bones are covered.

You gotta have all the ingredients.

I take back what I said about his recipe.

I don't want to

watch this.

Oh, no.

No!

No!

Ow!

Fuck!

No!

Look, dude, that's disgusting.

That fucking sucks so much.

Oh, my God.

Why did it come out so fast?

Why did it come out so fast?

Take the cheese.

Jesus Christ.

I literally.

I don't even gag easy dude, but that shit is fucked up.

No, it.

I don't want to watch you eat it.

Don't eat it, Norm, please.

I beg you, Norm, don't eat your own shit.

No.

Look at this gooey turret.

Oh my god.

Jesus in Christ.

Oh shit.

Oh good.

Why the fuck did it come out so fast?

No, no, no, no, no.

This is disgusting.

Up next is Christy Stefano.

When the first time I did your mom's house live and when Tom and Christina showed me a man getting shit into his eyelids, is when I subscribed to the channel.

So I know, Stavi, it was one, you know, one man's treasure, one man's trash, another man's treasure.

And I got to be honest, also, one of my favorite moments is when I came on there and I talked about my love for the transgender woman in Baby Reindeer.

And we had such a great moment, and I felt so listened to and included.

And then the very next day, I told that same story on Joe Rogan, and his response was, ugh.

So thank you for supporting my trans

love.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about her at all, and she consumes my thoughts when I'm every moment of my life.

I'm thinking about her.

Terry, I'm not sure.

Yes, there's a video of her dancing around.

Can we please pull it out?

Yeah.

Her dancing around.

I've watched it on repeat.

I've had to, you know, Jasmine's caught me multiple times looking at her Instagram, looking at her pictures, and I've had to tell her multiple times, no,

it's for a bit, but

it's not.

Can you walk me through the attraction?

Because I'm trying to understand, because to me, it looks like a very masculine woman.

So it's like you like the woman look,

but you like a masculine woman look.

Is that what you're no?

She looked like an Italian girl from Brooklyn or Staten Island to me.

Oh, yeah.

She looked like that.

And at first thought, I thought she was a woman.

And then it's one of those things when I found out she was in fact a biological male and still had a penis, it made me more intrigued.

Okay.

Yeah, I think there was a video of her dancing.

I think it's loading up right now.

Okay.

so am i i i i want to get my feet over my head and get back to my hotel room and shoot it off my eyelids to nava ma's instagram um so wow her followers have doubled when i the last i was on her page about two days ago she had 68 000 followers now it's over at 110 yes see terry just dancing around and uh

yeah just kind of

yeah you like her pause i like it everything i like her i was like i was like wondering like i wonder where she where that apartment is she i like her flowers i like her kitchen.

I'm just like,

she looks like she would tolerate me and not judge me.

Right?

I like that.

Yeah, she looks like she would.

Maybe that's the, maybe that's the hook, Chrissy, is that

she won't judge you.

The thing that excites the straight male human brain number one the most is big tits and a big dick.

So you don't even realize when you're watching porn, you will fast forward through the videos if the man's penis is too small.

But if you see a nice big, fat dick and some big tits, then you stay.

And that's why I'm staying on her because I'm assuming she has a big fat cock and big tits.

And I've already seen her tits in baby reindeer.

Yeah.

And I feel good talking about this because I promised my family last week at a barbecue that I wouldn't publicly talk about any gay stuff or hypersexual stuff.

And I looked them all in the eyes and said, I won't do it.

And then I'm happy I'm doing it.

Yeah, you are doing it.

But still, it's fun.

It's just who cares.

What?

That lady has a penis?

Oh, shit.

Turn that off.

Hi, Tim and Christinza and Booth Boobs.

My personal favorite YMH podcast moment ever is from episode 773, where Christina gets to tell Tim live on the podcast that Hammy has escaped not only for the third time, but infiltrated the walls of your home.

Always makes me giggle.

Thank you guys so much for what you do.

Thank you for the years of laughs.

It's your buff day.

and if you're ever on the market for an orphaned malvy 31 year old hit me up love you i've been a little high on drugs the last like nine days recovering and yes i've been a little bit bored

so i bought the kids a hamster right this is this happened a while ago and then i thought what's better than one hamster two hammies so right before surgery yeah i bought I bought us this fucking crazy hamster, dude, that like we had it in a box on the way home from the pet store.

It chewed through the box.

It chewed through the box on the way home.

That was cool.

This thing is crazy.

And so we have had

three hamster escapes

in the house.

And the first one was just like a total fluke.

The second one, the kids left the cage open and you were not pleased.

No, I did not like that.

You don't like that.

It made you very upset.

I mean, I'm not a big fan of this family of pets.

This type of pet is not one that I'm excited about.

Well, we can't have dogs or cats because of an allergy.

All right, we have our son.

One of our sons has allergies.

But like,

then knowing that it's free and it just really makes me uneasy.

And then

I leave and you're like, oh, I got a new

crate.

It just brings, it brings me, look.

I don't do well with feelings, especially feelings of sadness and depression.

And I was like, fuck it.

You know what?

I'm going to buy another hamster.

I know, but you also decided to buy a new home for the hamster.

Yeah, let me show you.

So this is actually the third cage.

Third cage.

And it is

enormous.

That is taking up half of a room now.

It's called the hamster habitat, Tom.

It's more humane than a cage.

And that's just for one?

That's for one hammy.

That's the savage hammy.

That's the savage hammy.

So you came home and you found Hammy in that.

But the reason was, so that fool got out a third time, remember?

This is what you haven't told me.

Yeah, brah.

So remember, you had left and the search was on.

And you found for Hammy.

Yeah, you found.

Now, I didn't tell you what went into finding Hammy.

Wait.

This is the time you said, I found it.

And I did.

Yeah.

But it took a little prep work.

So, oh my God, dude, you didn't even know this.

We were at dinner.

We were at dinner.

You were sitting right.

It was here, here, and then Jane was sitting next to you and we're eating.

And I fucking hear

like scrambling.

Like it's in like that.

And it's in the walls.

It was in the walls right next to your fucking head when you were eating dinner.

Wait, how did you know?

Because right before you came to sit down for dinner, I heard it scrambling in the walls.

What do you mean in the walls?

So you know our dining room table?

Yeah.

Right behind you is that wall and that cabinet.

There's a wall right behind you and then the front door.

It's not a full wall.

It's like a little partial.

Okay.

It's like a you mean if you're seated with your back to the front where you were sitting yes or the head of the table yeah the head of the table where you're sitting when you're and your back is to the front door on our big dining room table yeah there's a piece of wall and i

you heard that heard it and then i was like to jane i go you cannot tell tom that this fucker is in the walls he's gonna freak because this is the third escape and you're gonna kill me and i've already bought this crazy hamster like this is crazy you're gonna you're gonna divorce me and i and i put a christmas tree in our room too by the way did i mention that there's a christmas tree yeah you put a christmas tree but anyway okay there's the there's my christmas tree in there like i've already i'm off the deep end already with this cancer like i'm losing my i'm already okay doing stuff to feel better that doesn't make sense so

we eat dinner and jane and i are just like praying that you're not hearing right behind you.

It's like a comedy.

It couldn't be funnier.

It was so perfect.

And you're telling, we're just like, so tell us about the thing, Tom, and right behind your fucking head, and you don't hear it.

And then, so you leave, and to Brian, I go, Look, we got to get this fucking hamster out of the walls before my husband gets back.

He's going to be furious.

So, he calls the guy over.

So, first of all, when you have like rodents in your walls, the exterminator won't drill holes in the walls.

So, we had to get a guy to come over and drill holes in the walls.

What

we We fucking drilled, dude.

We drilled holes into the wall.

Where?

You know the front door?

Yeah.

That wall that is right to the right of it?

We drilled a hole in that wall.

And then on the other side.

And then they patched it up?

Before you got home.

Wait, so hold on.

So we're all like, okay, I hope this fucking hamster comes out because otherwise it's just going to die in the walls.

And we're waiting for the exterminator to come, but he doesn't come until the next day.

So we have this night of like, please let this hamster come out.

So we put food out, we're waiting, and I'm, I can't sleep because I'm so codependent, and I hate when you're upset with me.

Like, I can't handle the feelings of your upset.

And I'm like, he's gonna be so mad at me, and I've got to resolve this.

So I'm up at fucking midnight, high on Oxy's, looking for a hammy, and my tits are hurting.

And I've got a flashlight, and I fuck, I find it, dude.

I find the hammy by the kids' room.

So it did come out it did come out we lured it out with treats

so it came out of one of those holes i'm presumably so how did it get into the wall we know we do not we found there's a tiny little area under the cabinet okay just a you know they only need an opening yeah and that's how it got in there and it got in the wall did we plug that up

don't know

you know what i'm thinking about right now divorce no new christine no new christine was just here

she would never have tricked you like that.

She never would do this.

Dude, they patched it up so that you never have to know.

But I thought it'd be funny.

I would patch up the original entrance.

Yeah, we will.

That was fun.

That was like fun.

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Oh Steve O.

Hey everybody Steve-O here and my favorite time on the Your Mom's House podcast was when I told the story about jacking off in the airplane and simultaneously ejaculating as I fell out of it.

It was just a special thing man.

On my bucket list I had skydiving.

I said if I ever go skydiving because the first time you have to have a tandem dude strapped on your back, then I'm going to be butt fucking naked and furiously jacking off.

Oh yeah.

I'll be all pent up and while I'm fucking whacking it like when I pass the point of no return right I need to really time it so that right when I blow a load is when I when I fall out of the plane.

And your jiz just went flying everywhere as you're jumping.

Yeah, it was the wind caught it.

Not a drop landed in the plane.

So wait, you're but I hadn't fallen out of the plane yet.

I just got my wiener out into the wind and the wind caught it and blasted it into the slow motion camera that was mounted on the side of the plane.

Wow.

Which was like just a full brunt fucking money shot.

And it's good that way because

had I blown the load after falling out of the plane, it would have been really tough to catch it.

This is right in your face.

If it was in 3D, you'd be like wiping the jizz off your nose.

You're on the precipice of the screen.

And then jump,

yeah, I mean,

I'm jizzing as we're scrambling, as we're going out.

Holy shit.

Because they hang it.

I'll show you.

They hang it.

Yeah, I'd love to see it.

I'd love to see it.

You know, I had four dick pills for breakfast.

I planned this.

I did.

Yeah, four Cialis tablets.

Holy shit, that was.

Four of them.

And

I planned it like, you know,

I did not blow a load for four entire days and nights leading up to the

pent up with a hair trigger.

Yeah.

I don't think you can blow a bigger load than four days.

You know, because after that, your body just starts cycling it.

Yeah.

Four days is a lot.

Four days kind of maxed out.

Yeah.

Maybe 10, but I'm not trying to do that.

No one's trying to do that.

I came prepared.

Yeah.

But the thing was that before we took off, they said, okay, now that you're going to have to, there's a two-minute window

for the jump.

Because before or after the two minutes, like, we're not over the drop zone.

So I'm going to have to time this ejaculation.

Oh, that's scary.

An airplane full of dudes pointing cameras at me with one of them strapped on my back so tight that his fucking chin is resting on my shoulder like a parrot.

Yeah.

Like,

like, and I have to,

it's threading the needle over here.

Yeah.

And I gotta fucking do this within the space of two minutes.

And I thought about it and I was like, okay, like, give me one minute's notice before the two minutes starts.

Oh, wow.

So you start pre-gaming the jacket?

Ah, I start pre-stroking semi-regularly.

I had my Jagos buddy Preston with me.

He's my fluffer.

He's got the lotion.

Yeah.

Right.

He, you know,

when I hear T-minus three at 15,000 000 feet after they open up the door i go lube he squeezes the lotion on my hand and then i click play

and i start whacking that's like uh there's no pregame there's just hit play

full fucking go oh wow yeah all right

on to our next rober and jamie lynn sigler uh what's everybody i'm rob eiler i'm jamie lynn sigler and one thing we could tell you about working for tom and christina is they make us show up every week no matter what.

And then weeks like this, they just don't show up.

And

yeah, no one's there to tell them they have to.

But they're making us work even more by introducing or maybe talking about our favorite YMH moments.

Anything with Tony John for me is my favorite.

But then I don't know if you remember.

I think it was the one with me and you, or maybe I was doing it alone.

They showed us a video of some guy and his fetish was to like be put into the ground.

Yes.

Or he put a woman into the ground in his apartment and then like, put the furniture back and acted like she wasn't there.

Yes.

And then there were like spiders down there, apparently.

I'm really appreciative to Tom and Christina for showing me just how fucked up the world is that we live in.

Yeah, and thanks for letting me watch that every week.

Whoa.

You'll probably go down slowly when I put that.

It's all right, Jamie.

Is this what you do at home, Jamie, with your husband?

After the kids go to bed, for sure.

This is super fucking cool.

So.

That's it?

No, no.

Stop at home.

Oh, Jamie had to ask.

I was like, well, wait, what?

Are we using imagination?

I hope that's a set and not his house.

I think that is his house.

Me too.

This is terrible.

Did you see his dad's dance at first?

Dude, guys are so fucking weird.

Imagine that gets you off.

The craziest part is.

That's like my if you've spiders in there, that's my straight up nightmare.

Oh, I thought you met Michael Imperioli from Goodfellows.

Get the fuck out of here.

I'm going to watch the TV.

Wow.

Hey, that's great.

I thought Tony was a gangster.

Well, what's that mannequin in the corner?

Just to practice with.

Whoa, whoa, wow.

Jesus Christ.

You know what's crazy too?

It's like she's down there, like, ooh, and he's just like, I think I'm going to jerk off.

Yeah, yeah.

Like, where does the gratification come from?

He's peaking right now.

Right now, he's got this rush.

He should be.

It's not a good feeling.

So we highlight cool guys on our show.

This is obviously King of the Cool Guys Club.

Hilarious.

But he's not jizzing on her.

He's not even ejaculating.

This is what gets him on.

Gangster.

Yeah.

This guy's

darkest, cold, cool guy.

Now There's a cool guy.

Tom, have you ever thought of putting a dove under here?

Yes.

Honestly.

Why are you showing me this?

This is going to cost you.

Up next.

In the episode where Christina, Tom, and Josh Potter are talking about

Aaron Hernandez out of nowhere, Christina says the Pouncy Twins be gay.

And

if you watch Tom's reaction, he's just so happy.

Like, you can see how

proud he is of the decision he made to marry that woman.

He did crazy shit.

Like, someone would, like, walk by him and they'd, like, maybe spill a drink on him or something a little bit.

And then he would, well, that was exactly what happened when he murdered a guy.

He murdered two guys.

Yeah, two of them.

Two guys on the street because they spilled a drink on him.

And he got so crazy and he couldn't control the impulse to murder.

I mean, it was just such an irrational.

It's like when someone makes your drink wrong at Starbucks.

How far away are you from?

But you know what?

I have that frontal lobe.

You still have yours?

Yeah.

Okay.

That's when you'll know something's wrong with me.

Oh, boy.

If I'm like, they did it.

A couple of head injuries.

Oh, boy.

They made it wrong, and then I just cut them up.

Yep.

A couple of head injuries away from that wall breaking down in your frontal lobe.

That's for sure.

It's a good thing I didn't play college ball.

Oh, how sad.

No, it's really sad.

He killed those two guys.

He killed his fiancé's sister's boyfriend.

This is a separate one.

Then one of his friends who he was rolling with, who knew, because was with him when he shot the two guys who spilled the drink, he shot him in the head.

So he tried to kill that guy.

The lover in prison, by the way, said during a night of canoodling that he confessed to a fourth body.

Oh, my life.

And then don't forget that he also shot somebody in Gainesville when he was at Florida and they never tied it to him.

The Tebow team.

You must look back and go, haha, yeah.

The Savages.

Yeah, they're all animals on that team.

There was like a coach who got arrested and all this other stuff.

Yeah, and then they're like national champs.

How about the Pouncy guys being in that documentary?

They got the Pouncey twins be gay.

That's the one thing I know about football.

I got it.

Final.

Oh, shit.

You know what I mean?

It might be that.

No, I don't know.

She's talking about

the year they got drafted.

Yeah.

I remember this so specifically because I was laughing so hard about it.

There was an ole miss player, right, who was Twitter, was like kind of, because the Twins have been in the NFL like 10 years or something.

Yeah.

So Twitter was sort of newish, right?

Yeah.

It would have been like.

It was probably around that same draft as Aaron Hernandez.

Exactly.

09 or or something.

Right.

So it's a couple of years old, but it's not like what it is now.

And so it's like, oh, let's go on Twitter and this old miss player was tweeting like hilarious shit about everybody in the draft.

And when that was the year that they didn't enter the draft the same year.

So Marquise

went like the year before Mike or vice versa.

right?

Pouncey.

Yeah, I don't remember what that was.

So whichever one was first, he gets drafted

and

the brothers stand up and they kissed.

And they kissed like on the lips.

That's how that happened.

And then that dude

wrote, Pouncey Twins be gay.

Because they kissed.

And so I started tweeting at that dude, the old miss player, and he blocked me.

Oh, what did you say to him?

I was like, they be gay, huh?

Like, I just kept trying to provoke them.

But it was.

And you've held that now for over a decade in your brain, Christina.

Yeah, it's amazing.

came out of that vault right away.

It's like the joke just

talking about it if you're if you're yeah, because I remember you saying it palsy twins be gay, and you would say it around the house, and then it's like lock that up for somewhere.

I can't remember what I had to see if you remember that.

Oh, yeah, I don't know what I did yesterday,

but I know palsy twins be gay, and I know talk about practice.

That's right.

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This is really going to cost you me precious.

Oh, yeah.

I'm talking here to a wall.

Hey, hey, folks, Mark Norman here.

It's raining in disgusting New York, but gotta give a shout out to your mom's house.

What's the best moment?

Well, Compton's cans are hard to pass up, but for me, it was fun zinging Segura five years ago about how fat and gross he used to be.

Check out that clip from the old show.

That was a doozy.

But yeah, love what you guys are doing.

Christina peas the shit and we're all glad Ari left.

Ugh.

Comedy.

They sent me a set that I did.

Oh,

like two years into stand-up.

Yeah.

A friend of mine, I was like, what?

He's like, yeah, I recorded this.

And

I could not watch it.

I started to watch it and I was like,

like started to sweat can i say about you you're the one of the rare cases like usually you watch a guy's 15 year old set and you're like man you were so young and thin you looked like hell back then and you look great now thanks man you went the other way the other way yeah yeah you were like a big guy with only facial hair it's the only advantage to like not giving a fuck about yourself when you're young it's like i also see friends from high school and like they look like shit now yes right and then i look better than i did in high school exactly and they're like oh what happened i'm like i don't know That's when you neglect yourself when you're young.

Yeah.

You can improve later in life.

I look at sometimes all, because I'm a big stand-up nerd.

I watch everything.

So I watch your old stuff, and I'm like, you can just look at you and go, he'll never make it.

He's so unappealing looking that he's fucked.

Like, you looked like a guy who liked wings and tits.

That was like your look.

You know, it kind of had a vagacy.

There was a shiny shirt involved.

And your hair was pointy down.

Yeah.

And you're like, this guy's a fucking mess.

Yeah.

Like, you're like, I would never hang out with this guy.

He's going nowhere.

You look like you had flames on your car, Prado.

Let's see.

There's some.

Give me a real on stage, like a real guy.

Oh, that's that's rough.

That's bad.

There, look at the gold chain, the chest hair.

I mean, this guy works at a place called Diamonds, and it's a strip club.

It shouldn't happen on the album.

I'm scrolling.

Let's see what else we got here.

Oh, this is.

Look, look how big I am right there.

Yeah, but that's kind of a sitcom.

Yeah, that is a sitcom look.

I'm talking, you know, those shiny black shirts and the fun hair.

Yeah.

The gold chain, man.

Oh, there's a guy.

Come on.

You think I like to tell him holding the mic flag.

And then look at that one on Conan.

You're like this distinguished dude with the suit and the gray.

You look cool as shit.

Like, that looks like a guy who sells a badass tequila.

Yeah.

That is the guy who sells tequila.

Oh, there he is.

Look at that one with the

green button down there.

Yeah.

Come on.

Was that Ben Glebe?

Oh, yeah.

But you were still getting laid.

Christina with the bangs.

She's got the bangs.

Yeah.

Look, that's me when I first got to LA on the right.

This one.

The other one.

To the right.

That's me when I first got it.

Oh, hey, well, that guy's a smoke show.

That's how I got laid at 24.

What happened?

I just fucking neglected myself.

Yeah, I guess so.

Because the one next to it, that's like a before and after

or aviews.

That's like, oh, I started doing stand-up, and

I don't know what's going to happen with my life.

This is scary.

Yeah.

You know?

Right.

Yeah, but you got good bones.

No pun intended.

Like, you're like a house that's it was falling apart, but you can see when you reduce all the fat, the bone structure is not that bad.

Not bad, and the eyeballs are gorgeous.

Yeah, you're solid.

Ah, that was good.

I like that one.

Oh my gosh, Dr.

Drew.

I've been asked to reminisce a little bit about one of my favorite times on YMH.

And immediately, when I thought about it, what came to mind was my very first experience with Tama Christina where I went out to

way out in the deep San Fernando Valley and they pulled me into their garage or something they were filming in at the time.

And Tom began showing me horrible videos.

And Christina thought that was very funny.

And especially this video.

This one stands out in my memory.

It was an introduction to a man with whom I would become, let's say, intimate.

I certainly was sitting in his living room, not, well, a little while after that in New York City.

The cameraman I was with never recovered from that experience, Paul, sorry.

But it was my introductory experience to none other than Robert Paul Champagne.

Do you think the person involved in the clip is

taking drugs?

Is it one of you two?

No, it's not you.

Okay, okay.

I can't wait.

Black guys who love to fucking fuck good.

If you're a hot black guy and you want to fuck me at $23.95, if you want to move in, you can move in, but you got to fuck me.

I need to be fucked a lot, man.

Yeah, we got it.

Free food, free rent, and everything else, man.

Here's a deal, man.

Oh, boy.

Hold on.

If you're in jail, homeless, or you're a thug, you want to come move in?

Your friend can move with you too, man.

Free rent, you can leave some of you.

Fuck me.

Piss on me.

Beat me.

I home me out.

You see me?

You want to come over today and try it out?

try it out, man.

I just get sad when I see that.

Yeah, I mean, what's happening?

First of all, look how dark the circles are around his eyes.

What do you think that does not look well?

I was being drugged, man.

I didn't slept in a month.

And then I just smell meth.

I can smell meth.

Well, the first time we played, it was interesting.

I said, you know, the funny thing about this, you play this over and over again.

Oh, yeah.

And this is a regular clip on the show.

So, Jesus.

Just that.

Just that.

You're not worried about your souls now.

Forget his.

Oh, we're ruined.

I know, I see that.

I'm going to bring in my questionnaire.

We're ruined.

But this, I was like, you know, there's some part of every man's brain that has wanted to

express these feelings.

Yeah, but this.

Just fuck me.

But I'm saying for someone to actually pull out a camera and go to the bottom.

No, and to be this disconnected and all of it.

This was somebody who was like...

severely beaten as a child.

It's like, oh, yeah.

Is that what's happening?

Yeah, that's just all I see is just abuse, abuse, abuse.

Because he's probably probably the abuse again.

Yeah, yeah, he's reenacting.

Oh, he's reenacting the trauma to try to solve it or whatever.

Or whatever that is.

Whatever our brain does.

It makes us do that.

That's interesting.

So the dark.

What's with the ball on his head?

Well, that's just a BG there.

It's very dark.

It's not well lit.

He's shirtless.

His spot-on analysis made this sad for me now.

Yeah, it is.

What they're all sad.

That's why I could never go to strip clubs and things.

I'm like, oh, these women are supposed to be a little bit more.

Well, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, same here.

No, it's empowering.

Don't you know?

It's supposed to be empowering.

That's what they say.

I know.

It is.

You guys don't get it.

So he, yeah.

In my building, try it out.

If you want to fuck a piss on me, try it out.

Seriously, only goes, fuck, man.

I'm looking for hardcore guys.

I mean it and want to do it.

And I want to deliver it.

I'm a hot fuck.

White trash.

Good job.

People just send this in to us.

Oh, that's nice.

Yeah.

I'm so glad I'm talking to your fans.

This is very nice.

This is the tip of nice.

He actually looked like Tommy, so I like this one.

My absolute favorite moment of the podcast is when Charo and Blanca are on the episode and Charo bets Tom $500 that the man in the video is not Tom and he responds with okay but then later denies ever saying okay and they were just off and running.

I missed.

You missed it?

Yeah, because I don't know who fell.

Two guys jump into the.

No, it's not two guys.

There's definitely not two.

Just watch the one screen, Blanca.

Oh, okay.

Go look up by yourself.

Just the screen right here.

This screen.

Oh, this screen.

This is okay.

I also want to look at it.

That's what I thought.

Okay.

Erase that thing.

Okay.

Here.

Okay.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my God.

Oh, oh, my gosh.

That's a thing.

That is

already happened.

Oh, he broke the glass and his his body is all.

And you think it's funny?

I did.

You did that?

They think it's funny.

Yeah, I did that.

Yeah.

You broke that glass?

Yeah.

That's stupid.

I know.

I was trying to dive straight through the thing into the window hole.

And you didn't realize there was a glass there.

Right.

That's in our old house.

Hi!

Oh my gosh, that is horrible.

Did that for real happened?

Oh, no.

Yeah, that really happened.

That was in the house, the last house happened.

And that didn't.

I gotta tell you something.

It hurt.

Oh, I bet.

It's amazing that you don't have any scratches.

But that's not you.

How much blood did you have?

A good amount of blood.

That's not Tommy.

That's me.

That's him.

Yeah.

Okay, do it again.

I thought you were smarter than that.

Okay.

I bet you.

I'm only making this in bet.

That's funny.

But I'm going to bet $500 that's not you.

And if I am right, you pay me.

You know what?

I realize now you have that hair.

That's just not what they realize.

Yeah.

Everybody, everybody cares that I just make $500.

What did you just say?

Keep going.

That is a really...

Wait, no one even took you up on the bet.

That's not how bets.

Bets don't want to.

Here, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Bets don't go, I bet this, and then it is a thing.

Someone has to say, I'll take that bet.

Tell him to do that.

Someone has to say, I'll take that bet.

You did.

Did I say I'll take that bet?

I did not hear that.

okay play it

play it play it no no no no no no no no wait wait wait wait wait and no no wait no wait no here's what i want here's what i want here's what i want i want no no no no you're you're gonna pay me when you hear that it's not recorded

that's the bet

you're gonna pay me when you hear that it's not recorded

you gotta talk to the mic

listen to the answer

I said, that's not you, and if it's not you, and I'm right, you pay me 500.

Your answer was okay and i said okay play it i did not say okay oh my gosh there's a whole room of people yeah but they cheat to fail to help you no yes they play it like it was charo i would never lie to you okay i did not hear that okay

he's right there was no contract made there was

you got to pay me now i swear okay you can swear all you want but now when you hear that wait wait when you hear that i didn't say okay do you agree that you will pay me if he doesn't cheat and you have to prove prove to me that he doesn't cheat.

No, he's buying words.

I cheek, God, you didn't realize he was playing with words.

Well, who's playing with words?

No, no, no.

Let me tell you one thing, Tommy.

Who's playing with words?

No, you missed.

How?

No.

By saying

that.

No, I bet.

And we didn't

think that you were really betting.

Okay.

This is.

Okay.

Okay.

Wait, I didn't bet.

What are you talking about?

You're the one that said I bet.

How am I playing with words?

And your answer was okay.

It was not.

I swear.

It was not.

Please, guys, help me.

There's a whole room full of people who have watched

the station.

Yeah, but they all help Tommy.

Why?

Why would they help me?

They would love to see me lose the bet.

What are you talking about?

Okay, then do it.

Then do it.

Put the okay in there.

No.

Put the okay in there?

Watch it again.

You're asking me to lie?

No, watch the okay again and please tape it.

Wait, so

I want to be clear about how you think bets work.

You think a bet is like, hey, I bet that if this dog runs across the street, it's a thousand.

And if someone goes, okay, that's a bet?

No, no, I'm not.

That's what I didn't think it would be a bet.

If you are smart, and you are smart and you are my son, it has to be a part of me in there.

So, I, number one, I don't like.

And number two, when I make a bet, part of Charlington?

I am very careful with my bets.

And when I told you, but he never agreed to that bet.

But nobody bet you.

He didn't agree to that.

He has to agree to the bet for there to be a bet.

You guys don't get it.

I said, I bet you $500.

Yeah, but he didn't say great.

Bet is is on.

I get it, no.

He says, okay.

He didn't agree to the bet.

Oh, my God.

You have to agree to the bet for there to be a bet.

So the word okay is not a bet.

No, he just was like, uh, okay.

Like, it wasn't a consent.

Okay, what did you say?

She's helping me.

I don't think I said anything.

I don't think he said okay.

I think that he say okay.

Tell me.

Annie's the sound.

Listen, any listens to us to make sure

we hear

the exciting factor.

Annie, did my husband say

okay?

No, definitely not.

And this is the most hilarious gaslight I've ever heard in my life.

Hey, by the way, this is how I grew up.

This is how I grew up with this nonsense 24-7.

All of a sudden, the argument is: did you say okay?

No, you didn't consent to the bed.

I see.

No.

Charles, all you did was a single.

You're turning again.

You're away from the mic.

Move.

Okay.

Turn your chair.

Turn your chair the other way.

The other way.

Jesus.

This is a microphone

sorry.

So, Charo, what happened was you just had a thought that you expressed out loud.

As in,

I, hey, I bet that's not Tom.

I bet five.

And then, and then you, in your mind, heard him go, yeah, that's a bet.

That's not what happened, baby.

You just went, hey, oh my god, I bet, I'll bet $500.

That's not Tom.

And then that's it.

You know what?

Your sister's a career.

You know what?

Yeah.

I agree.

That's true.

I'm an impartial.

Okay, I want a lawyer.

You know what?

It's like talking to a crazy person.

That's what everybody thinks about.

Yeah, and you are the crazy person.

No.

No.

I know.

Go around the room.

Their club is all in your soul.

Your sister just agreed.

My sister doesn't hear

you holding your hand on my face.

She's deaf.

You're the wife.

And they are all in tomb.

You were just excited, I think.

Okay, so

can we move forward?

Can we go on?

Yes, yes.

Let's move forward.

Let's move forward.

That was like fun.

That's okay.

Gosh, finally.

Okay, Tom and Chris doing a best of

episode.

Obviously, running out of ideas, a little desperate.

What's my favorite moment in YMH history?

I've never seen the show.

Okay.

I've never seen the show.

Not interested in the show.

Never seen the show.

Good morning, Julia.

That guy's one of the funniest guys on planet Earth.

I think that guy is brilliant.

I don't don't know.

Is he dead?

He might be dead.

Anyway, I love you, Tom.

I love you, Chris.

Kisses.

Oh, God.

Good morning, Julia.

It's me, Joe.

Just wanted to say hi.

Wish you a great day.

Tell you that meeting you yesterday

and getting a look at you was probably one of the greatest moments of my life.

You were so beautiful.

You don't know how beautiful you are to me.

I mean, just you're gorgeous.

You're precious.

He met her at a club and got her number, and then she woke woke up to this.

This

inbox.

Sweet guy.

Sweet so far.

Yeah, you're gorgeous.

He's got a good goatee.

He combed his hair.

He's got the fan running.

I like this.

It's a great goatee.

It's in the world of goatees.

He's got it.

That's the one.

He's got a cute little butcher underneath there, so the more hair is growing in the crevice.

But it's been sitting in my mind when you said to me you want to go back with your ex-boyfriend.

Please erase him from your memory.

Please, don't ever go back in the past.

I know, because I've been there, and I understand when you're trying to find somebody and you go on dates, and nothing compares to your ex.

Hold on, he was religious, by the way.

You didn't see the cross in the hallway.

I saw it, I saw it.

Well, this is letting you know what kind of guy he is.

Yeah, he's a good guy.

He's a good guy.

He also lets her know that if she were to not go back to her ex and go with him, that she would forget about her ex.

I will love you like you've never been loved before.

I believe it.

I will cherish you.

I'll make you feel

like a real woman.

He does like a fan.

And believe me, after you experience me, you won't even know who your ex-boyfriend is.

It's like almost like the I Make You Come guy.

Threat.

Similar proposal.

Yep.

And then a lot of cool guys on this podcast today.

Creepy guy opened me.

Open to me in your arms.

Oh, boy.

Both.

Let's go full throttle.

Oh, yeah.

I could see me falling in love with you.

It just, I don't know.

I just looked in your eyes and I just melt.

Wow.

This guy's a fucking romantic.

Yeah, right.

I can tell you, I'm liking this guy a lot.

I like everything he's got going on.

Let's set this guy up with his sister.

With my sister.

Come on.

Yeah.

Let's see what else he's got to say.

I mean, I'm so interested in this guy's rhetoric.

Do you, when you, for me, when I see something like this, my immediate feeling is like.

My new best friend.

My new best friend, who I'm so humiliated for.

But I also go like, because we were talking about last week, that this is what happens in my mind is i start thinking about embarrassing things that you've done yes yeah and i get washed over with that uh shame i got i got videos i got videos that are pretty similar to this so yeah pretty close what's the worst one and how old are you

pretty close 34 when the first one get no um

probably

uh probably put out a little um

i was probably on the cusp of the first round of dick pics and uh sent a uh

sent a halfy.

I thought that was

just not a fully, just like a half chub, you know?

Oh, okay, okay.

Yeah.

I mean, I've never gotten one because he and I hooked up in the time of Friendster.

Oh, yeah.

I've never even

sent my wife a dick pic, no chance.

When you sent this picture,

like a half.

Little halfy.

Do you text it?

Yeah, it was a text.

What was that?

No, I think it was an email, to be honest with you.

An email.

Yeah, I think it was an email, a pick email.

Is it a response?

No, and that probably is the

nail in the coffin.

And how did you meet this girl?

And what's the.

It was like friend of a friend type of shit.

Don't really know her that well.

A lot of flirting.

I thought, real horny, I'm going to send you this penis pic.

Got no response and got nothing ever again.

I think it was an indication of my

lack of skill.

Really?

Yeah.

Was there,

but it wasn't at it, like, you weren't just like, oh, I met you.

Here's a dick pic.

There was like a lot.

No, there was a lot of communication.

And then she saw it.

Ghost.

Wow.

Yeah.

Not a cool cool penis.

Bye.

Not a cool penis.

Bye.

That's my name in my bio.

You send me the picture.

I'll send you the photo.

Okay, thanks.

And it's just half.

It's half.

Yeah, but here's what I'm thinking.

It's like, hey, I'm getting a picture.

I bet you it was better than you think it is.

I think it got sent around to friends.

Tommy, please.

And who would believe it?

Ryan Sickler.

Hey guys, Ryan Sickler here.

I'm very fortunate to have a bunch of crazy moments and fun times on YMH, but I would have to say the wildest moment would be the Jesse Lee Peterson episode coming full circle like

I had no idea what that show was I thought I was being punked I had no clue what was going on and then boom here comes YMH to save the day we have been so obsessed so obsessed

white history month right and every month white history month i hear that all the time

i mean it is that's the way they built it

How is it ever?

What is White History Month?

Where we take a pause to recognize

the men who founded and created the greatest country on this side of heaven.

And

because right now they're trying to erase that history and put on a fake history.

And so I don't want the younger generation.

to forget real history.

Otherwise, they're not going to

appreciate America.

Yeah, I did not know that was a sign.

So this is like,

this is towards the beginning.

So it's like, I feel like,

okay, what's going on here?

He just blocked this out.

This is so traumatic.

You're like, God, I never want to.

When I left, I was so, I called my manager.

What the fuck?

Yeah.

Did you just send me him?

What was that?

I go, at first, I'm confused.

He goes, I didn't know either.

He didn't look it up either.

I go, that's hilarious.

I fucking spent about 10 minutes in the mud trying to figure out what's really going on.

And then after I figure it out, then it just gets fucking fun.

Yeah.

Look at your kids, you have to do that.

I have two kids.

My daughter's seven, and her brother is my stepson.

He just turned 19.

And are they white?

My daughter is, and my stepson is mixed.

Oh, we need white babies.

Oh, my God.

We got one.

We got one.

She's, I mean, look at it.

That's such a crazy thing.

She's loving it.

Even your posture,

when you're sitting like this, and you're kind of like, what the fuck?

Like, I know this is.

There was a moment where I was like, really ready to just be like, all right, I don't have time for this.

I'm going to get up and leave.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, my time's fucking valuable.

Yeah.

I'm like, is this a clown?

Like, what is this?

Yeah.

He said there needs to be more white babies.

Oh, that's a big, that's one of his big stances.

That's a big stance.

But that's not all.

He got into so much shit where I finally, I'm like, okay, dude.

That's like shit my family says in Hungary.

He asked me rapid-fire questions at the end, real quick, too.

You got no time to think about it.

But I want to ask you: What do you think about the attack upon men today in America?

Men are the most

species of this side of heaven.

And they're doing everything to erase them.

What do you think about that?

I mean, who's trying to erase men?

Yeah.

The people who hate men, liberals,

and some

Republican women and others.

Republican women, not men.

Yeah.

Only the Republican women.

What is the purpose of the attack upon me?

Why is this attack happening to men?

What is he talking about?

Honest to God, I don't know where we're going with this.

I don't think men are under any different attack than women are.

You don't think so?

Well, look who's attacking the women.

Who?

The men.

In what way?

In what not way.

I love seeing the...

Like the, it hit you.

Because you're being like a gracious guest to start.

And you're like, wait,

I'm trying, yeah, but I've never heard any shit like this come out of a black people.

I mean, an an example.

Listen, for one thing, there's also a part in this when he's saying shit about black people where I don't want,

I almost, eventually I do, but I'm like, I want to be like, aren't you black?

But I don't want to say, aren't you black?

Because if he's like, I'm Creole or some other Cuban, or I'm like, then I'm a fucking, I'm as bad as he is.

Yeah, yeah.

So I'm confused.

Like, what is going on right now?

Are you not?

Like, what?

Do you believe that racism exists?

Of course.

Do you have any proof of that?

Yeah.

Can you give me an example?

A proof.

Proof that racism exists?

Right.

Are you serious?

You can't even be serious.

Slavery?

How about we take decades, the 50s, the 60s?

I'm talking to...

This is where

you're black, yeah.

Do you believe racism?

That's where I stop myself right there.

Am I talking to a black man?

Am I not?

And I caught myself like, I better not fucking say that shit.

Because he might be

or something like that

I'm talking to it

shut the fuck up man this might be real how about we take decades the 50s the 60s am I talking to

He makes some very good points he is one of the good ones favorite moment from your mama's house podcast it's gotta be um when i was forced to watch that man be completely dismembered by a lathe on a Russian security footage video by the Lord of Darkness, Tom Segura.

You sure you want to see it?

Is it a lathe?

It's gonna be on that.

It's a lathe, right?

Is it a jack?

Uh, yeah.

Oh, it is, huh?

Here we go.

He gets a little hurt.

Russia, that's all I gotta know.

You're missing it.

I'm not fucking watching that.

No, not.

I saw it.

I saw it.

What more can happen?

Oh, fucking A, Tom.

Jesus Christ.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Oh, my God.

Oh!

I didn't know it was going to escalate so fast.

He is not okay.

He just got disintegrated.

He got like dog meeted.

He did.

They have the high-res photos of the aftermath.

Jesus Christ.

It's not good.

Wow.

Yeah.

You got to not

work at a place.

Just don't work there.

Don't work there.

Cut it out.

Cut it out.

No, no, no, no, no.

Cut it out there's a limit for everything that's absolutely no

99

so many great memories from ymh but i guess not just my favorite memory from ymh but my favorite memory of all time was when you guys sent me on that all expense paid trip to a men's retreat and I learned the importance of sunbathing my taint.

Up until that point, my taint had been cold and hard.

And after that point, it was warm,

alive, and so was I.

So thank you for that.

Thank you.

We know you're in there!

Tom!

Duncan?

No way!

You doing this?

Dude, I already did it.

It's a life changer.

Oh my God.

I started making more money, getting more bitches.

Nice.

I kicked this immigrant family out of their house.

Hell yeah, dude.

I just want to get hard without pills.

This can do that.

Oh, keep an eye on my guy, Tanner.

He's kind of susceptible to things.

What do you mean?

Some things just don't go away, you know?

Sure.

Okay.

No problem, man.

Thank you, man.

I appreciate it.

You got it.

Tanner, listen to what he says, okay?

He's got a beautiful cock.

Let's get naked.

Um, is there a way for to not do naked?

That is totally fine.

We got some other options.

Let's shake off and meet my intention.

I am doubtless.

I am doubtless.

I am fearless.

I am fearless.

Exhale, grunt and growl at your ball.

Beautiful.

Now slapped your nuts.

Let's get butt-fucked by the most masculine force in our galaxy the fucking Sun

There is a limit to me that is disgusting.

No, I don't take it another bracelet good morning Julia.

Hi mommies

I was recently asked to come up with my favorite YMH moments and I'm just taking a walk because I'm fat

There's so many that I wouldn't really know where to start, but I will tell you there's one that stands out, and that is episode 358.

And that is where Top Dog is doing his blonde jokes with Tommy.

R.I.P.

Top Dog.

I really don't think much people could argue this.

It's almost an iconic episode at this point.

It'll live on forever.

It'll be there on the internet long before we're all dead.

It's a fantastic episode.

So, YMH,

please play episode 358 where Top Dog does his blonde jokes with Tommy.

Again, RP.

Later, our words.

You like jokes, right?

I love jokes.

Okay, so I wanted to read some jokes to you and

talk, and you tell me what you think of these jokes.

Okay.

How can you tell when a blonde sends you a fax?

I love blonde jokes, by the way.

I don't know.

It has a stamp on it.

I love it.

I love those jokes.

Oh, I gotta love blonde jokes.

Okay, how can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?

I don't know.

There's whiteout all over the monitor.

Oh, I got it.

I got one for you, too.

Okay, go ahead.

Go ahead.

Okay, this blonde is sitting at a bar in Chicago watching

one of these bars where they had the TV behind the bar.

And there's some guy up on the ledge getting ready to jump.

So

this guy sits down next to her.

And he says to her,

this is the 6 o'clock news.

And he says, I bet you.

He jumps.

And the blonde says, I bet you, Drink, he doesn't.

And all of a sudden,

the guy jumps.

And so

the blonde says, I guess I owe you $20.

And he said, no, I really can't take the money because I saw it on the five o'clock news.

And the blonde says, so did I, but I thought he might change his mind.

I think that's hilarious.

Oh my god.

I think that's so funny.

Can you imagine?

Yeah, that's funny.

How do you drown a blonde?

You know, have her stand in the shower for a long time.

No.

I don't know.

I'm discussing.

I don't know.

Okay.

Just go, how?

You put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool.

That's funny.

That's funny.

Oh my gosh.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA?

I don't know.

Look, they spelled Macy's wrong.

That's funny.

That's funny.

Yeah.

I got one more blonde joke for you.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Please keep it coming.

Okay, so this blonde,

she was going to go from New York to Europe, to London.

So she just climbed on board and she sat in first class without a first class ticket.

And the steward says, I'm sorry, miss, but you're not allowed.

You have to go back in coach.

She says, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and I'm going to London in first class.

Well, the stewardess never had anybody talk to her like that, so she went to get the co-pilot.

The co-pilot came out and said, Miss, you got to go to the back of the coach with everybody else.

You don't have first-class ticket.

She goes, I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, and very busty, as you can see.

I'm going to London in first class.

Well, the co-pilot, he didn't know what to do.

So he goes up and tells the captain.

The captain says, don't worry, I speak blonde.

The captain goes back, whispers something to her ear.

She pops up and runs back in the coach.

And the other said, What did you say to her?

I told her that only coach is going to London.

I think that's hilarious.

Yeah, that's good.

Thumb broad.

Can you imagine?

So stupid.

Figure out

fake the airplane kind of divides itself here.

I mean, how dumb can he get?

Yeah.

Really funny.

Actually, I love that joke.

Yeah, it's a good job.

Sometimes I just tell jokes to myself to make myself laugh.

Oh, my God.

Really?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Seriously.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Man, that's a lot of, I can see a broad doing that, though, you know?

I could.

Yeah, the other kind of jokes I like,

I like Polish jokes.

Yeah.

Who doesn't?

Yeah, sure.

These two Pol Ox are driving down from Cincinnati to Miami on I-75, 675.

They saw a sign that says clean restrooms ahead.

Yeah.

So the time they got to Miami, they cleaned 150.

That's funny, actually.

That's good.

Never heard of that.

That's good.

You know what the world's shortest book is?

What?

Polish War Heroes.

Oh, yeah.

I've heard that one.

The Hungarians used to go to the Russians.

Why do blondes wear panties?

I have no idea.

To keep their ankles warm.

Jesus.

Oh, my God.

Wow.

Yeah.

Yeah, I love those.

I love my jokes.

Hey, where do you look for blondes' obituaries?

In the sports page.

No, under home improvements.

Oh, that's good.

That's really funny.

Good.

That's pretty good, man.

Yeah.

You know, it's, you know,

you don't do any one-liners like this, but this is some good stuff here, buddy.

He saw that they were so funny that he laughed so hard as he tell you the joke that you are laughing actually at him, no other joke.

He was adorable.

Anything he did was funny.

Anything he did was good anyway.

My favorite.

Now you're making me cry.

You're not typing this, me blowing my nose, no?

Because I will cost four bracelets.

My favorite, your mom's house memory is actually my least favorite memory when Christina and Tom forced me to watch the disgusting pigman norm piss and shit into a poutine and then eat, I can't, I gagged, I gagged into the garbage can.

I almost threw up.

I've never almost thrown up before like that in public on a podcast, almost barfed.

And then I looked up to see both of them, sheer glee on their face.

I've never seen people happier.

And it made me realize they are so in love.

And it was a very nice moment to see two people so happy at somebody almost yakking on a very large podcast.

But I guess it was a nice memory just to see how happy Tom and Christine are together in love.

I think we're going to make French-Canadian poutine fries.

What are poutine fries?

Well, poutine fries are basically your fries,

cheese, and a great appetite.

What on God's Green Earth am I looking at right now?

This norm summer.

However,

there's going to be a bit of a change to the recipe.

Everybody likes to change the recipe.

No, they don't.

These ones are going to have fries,

cheese,

pig shit, and pig piss.

Ooh, it's going to be a treat.

He's Canadian too.

No, don't, don't.

He's from Calgary.

Well, that makes sense.

Keep those.

Okay, so let's get

things happening.

Oh, no.

Does it come out?

If penis comes out,

we'll pee on the fries first.

Oh, my God.

Thank you.

What's accidental?

Wait, what is it?

It's in a cage.

Pig shit dumped on my fries.

I have water squirts.

I can't look at this, actually.

This is grotesque.

Oh, no, he doesn't poo.

It's just the beginning.

No, it's just

the fries are covered in pick pigs.

What, you're not even proud to be Canadian anymore?

This is our Canadian test.

This is what we have to do.

The sky fries.

We have these fries.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So every immigrant?

No, no, I actually can't watch this.

Watch this!

I can't.

I can't listen.

Oh, my God.

I hate you guys.

Is it done yet again?

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

This is the best part.

No, I can't.

I can't.

The fact that he's already watch this is making me sick.

What's that?

This is some cheese.

I don't know why that's worse than the rest of it.

Somehow that impresses me.

Oh, God.

He doesn't eat it.

I'm actually about to throw up.

Does he eat it?

No, I can't look.

No, just look.

It's fine.

I can't look.

You gotta look.

You just gotta watch.

I fight the game.

I think this guy has a garbage here.

I'm not joking.

I have to go throw up.

I hate it.

Why is it still going?

Why are all your clips so off?

I'm sad she's going to throw off.

That's so bad.

It has to stop.

Okay, okay.

It actually has to stop.

I can't, you know what?

I hate that middle.

Like that, the Poutine video.

I hate him so much.

No, I'm actually like really upset right now.

That's him now.

No, he's a bad guy.

But underneath it with the pig.

See how it says.

What the fuck is his problem?

That's him now.

He got the tattooed pig on his forehead.

Why is he so sick about pigs?

He likes being

submissive to a couple doms.

Those doms better be getting paid millions upon millions of dollars to go.

I think they're getting anything they can get out of them.

The smell that radiates off of that pig pissing clown, I can't.

What's crazy is what you're saying right now is making him so hard.

I know.

Does he watch this?

I don't know.

That is disgusting.

Now I'm really mad.

No.

What, everybody?

It is I, the Roach, your host of Behind the Jeans, Josh Potter.

How are you?

I have been asked, what is my favorite YMH moment?

Why there's only one choice, really.

It is having the honor and privilege of getting to be the first person to cross through the threshold of 2395 Wagner Houses Apartment 2C in East Harlem and making first contact with Robert Paul Champagne.

I mean, I felt like Neil Armstrong.

I felt like a political dignitary going to a faraway land.

It was truly one of the best moments of my life and definitely my favorite moment on your mom's house.

About to go to apartment 2C, see Robert Paul Champagne.

Ooh, Ashley.

Ashley.

Hi, Robert.

Hi, can you come in?

This is Paul.

He's our director.

I'm Josh.

I'm minus nothing great.

Oh, that's okay.

Where can we go?

Where can we set up?

No one here.

Thank you for inviting us in your home, first and foremost.

We're really happy to be here.

Thank you for all of your art that you've provided us with.

I try.

Some of it around the house here, I've noticed.

A lot of art.

So tell us how you

came to be here in Harlem.

You said this was your mother's place?

Yep.

She was a real chish.

She hated the nursing home.

And I, well, they agreed.

They got the place of me.

It's like, okay, Mom, I'll go with you.

But I'm crazy for Harlem, but I'll go with you.

Right.

Then she got worse and worse.

She wasn't home too too much.

She was getting sicker and sicker and I had a had a nurse here.

She was robbing me blind.

I had to get rid of her.

Then I had to put her in a nursing home.

And now you're here.

Is your mother still with us?

No, she passed away in December.

Passed away?

Okay.

But now you've inherited all her wares.

Yeah, but I don't do half the stuff.

You don't know what half the stuff is?

No,

I like the stuff, but that's why I said I've got to get somewhere to live.

I got to put somebody on a wheel.

If anything happens to me, they're going to have antiques here.

I have crystals

from Ireland in there, glasses, and all this beautiful stuff.

And I can't, anything happens to me.

They're going to have a party.

Yeah, that's true.

I mean, that's always tough.

So what is your solution?

What do you think's going to...

I try, that's why I put it for two.

I said,

my edge was, you could be S-Con.

You could be a thug, but but.

But

if you're here with me and we have our fun and you we go back and forth,

you could be comfortable.

I have the rooms that I can fix the room.

I got rooms of a mess.

I've got to fix it up.

I'll give you a room.

I'll take another person in.

We could have a little fun as a family.

I have nothing to leave stuff to.

Right.

And then the only thing that they would have to contribute is helping you move all of these things.

You just move some of the stuff and, you know, fix it up.

I think that's fair.

That's a fair trade.

And

it's taking a room, put some in storage because

I guess right it's the lot it's a lot of lifting and it's a lot of,

you know, carrying up and down the stairs and things like that.

You need some strong, bigger fellas to do that.

I put it out, and

people call it and make jokes out of it.

Oh, well, that's- Like a ha ha ha ha.

You know, you could be homeless, and you're making a joke.

Yeah, that's sad.

We shouldn't make jokes about those types of things.

I got clothes.

I told them what time you could shower, I got clothes, clean clothes for you, I got lots of toiletries.

I mean, you go in a closet, you go pop anything out, right?

And then, and here here they are making jokes.

Yeah.

That's a shame.

Have you had anybody that was a real serious

possibility?

Some guy, he's getting out in August, Sonrikas Island.

But

the deal is he has grand theft, and that is not a good deal.

Yeah.

He's getting out in August, though?

Yep.

So you're thinking because of the grand theft, he might not make it out?

No, no.

I don't mind a rape or a little minor robbery, but grand theft, he sees antiques, I don't want to be the next victim.

I hear you.

That kind of bing.

Yeah, so if he was a rapist.

A rapist wouldn't bomb me because I wrote him.

No, because then he can't rape you.

You're willing.

You're down.

Okay, but he will rope.

But the robbery.

The robbery, I'm thinking I've got antiques here, and I got

some.

You mentioned before we got started filming

some famous names of lovers that you've had.

Tom Selick.

Tom Selick.

Yeah.

Now, this is what year about?

he was around the 80s

Right, okay, so this was in his heyday.

This is mustache Miami Vice Tom Selleck

used to go to the eagle with the eagle the lure and the eagle he used to smoke his cigar and he wore a harness and and

Everyone says Tom said we don't and I ever called him Tom I just I just say I say Tommy and he was just smoking cigars.

We used to go back and forth and and we went to hotel rooms, but no one thought of Tom Silk because when he wore the leather, he wore glasses.

Ah

And that was like his Clark Kent to Superman, so he was he was kind of but he was bi right, so he was a little more shy about his

gay side

and I respect it.

So, okay, okay, yeah, sure.

What was uh, do you remember some of his favorite things to do when it comes to he was into water sports, he was into rips, he was into restrainance.

Oh, he was he was about, he was so wild.

Oh, is he retarded?

Oh, favorite memory of your mom's house.

So I get to Austin.

It's 10 o'clock at night.

I'm doing the podcast the next morning.

I've been on a plane.

I decided to go for a walk, see the sights.

Everyone is all about Austin these days.

Everyone's moving there.

The business is going there.

And I decided to just go check it out.

Why not?

I get out there.

I start going for a walk, and it's insane.

I mean, it is like Sodom and Gomorrah out there.

It's the craziest thing I've ever seen.

And I live in Los Angeles.

I saw a homeless man who was not wearing a shirt, smoking crack, and loading a handgun at the same time.

Favorite memory.

Nothing to do with the actual podcast, just to do with how insane Austin is.

But congratulations, guys.

Thank you for watching.

Make sure to check out my show, Mui Muchacharo, please.

Anton has to buy me

maybe a diamond bracelet for doing this Tommy will be back next week ta-da there is retarded what's up jeans it's your boy Doug

you want my favorite moment of YMH it's gotta be the opening to Tom's birthday episode number 759 the I am

Good Morning Julia song

Freaking hilarious and one of the biggest tunes ever ever recorded.

Not just comedy, like it's actually sick.

So, I was laughing and jamming at the same time.

Good times.

I mean just you're gorgeous, you're precious And uh Word has been sitting in my mind When you said to me you wanna go back with your ex-boyfriend

Please erase him from your memory Don't ever go back in the past

I know Cause I've been there and I understand when you know you're trying to find somebody and you go on dates

And nothing compares to your express there is that better person out there, Julia.

I promise you, it is me.

I'll love you like you've never been loved before.

I will cherish you.

I'll make you feel like a woman, a real woman.

And believe me, after you experience me, you won't even know your ex-boyfriend is.

So,

I could see me falling in love with you.

You're just, I don't know.

I just looked in your eyes and I just melted anyhow.

I'm heading off to work.

Child, baby, let's go full trot.

Oh, baby, child, baby.

Child, baby.

Trial, baby, child, baby.

This is my cute little home.

Everything you see behind me, I built everything every square inch from crown molding, the chair rail, the floors, the lighting, the plumbing, doors, windows.

So, this is the type of guy you're getting.

I'm a very handy guy, and uh, I love to build you whatever you want.

You're a sweetheart, so I hope this video doesn't scare you, but that's how I feel.

I just want you to know that, okay?

And I look forward.

I'm going out to dinner with you, so let's make it happen.

Let's go, let's go, full child, baby.