The Cheat Code For Black Comedy w/ Gary Owen | Your Mom's House Ep. 826

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Welcome to another episode of Your Mom's House.

As always, I'm joined by my beautiful co-host, Christina.

And joining us for the first time, long overdue, another Cincinnati native.

You can see his special No S available right now on YouTube.

You can get tickets to see him live at GaryOwen.live.

It's Gary Owen, everybody.

Thank you.

Thank you for coming in, man.

This is awesome.

This is cool.

We're both Cincinnati guys by birth, and I've heard that probably 100,000 times in the 20-some-odd years I've been doing stand-up, and I can't believe I've never met you.

That's wild.

Everyone's always like, oh, you must be good friends with Gary.

I'm like, I mean, I'm a fan.

I know who he is, but I've never met him, dude.

I've never met him.

That's wild how comedians will just be in circles and

you'll see your name at a club coming a couple weeks later or something, but then you never really.

You're like, I've never met that dude for 20 years.

I've never met that dude.

That's wild.

Did you start?

Where did you start doing stand-up?

Dude, I started in L.A., which is like the advice everyone would be like, don't do that.

Did you move there to be a stand-up?

No.

I moved there because I wanted to do movies.

I wanted to do comedy movies.

And I thought, like in my research, I was like, oh, you know what?

The trajectory that like makes sense?

I saw that people would go to the Groundlings, go to the school they have, make it into the Sunday company that performs.

Yeah.

And then I was like, oh, and then SNL just pulls people from that.

And then those people end up there and then they end up in movies.

I was like, I'll just do that.

That makes sense.

So I moved there.

I started the Groundlings.

I started going through the levels of the school.

And I met some of the guys in like the class just were like, you know, you would like stand-up.

And I I was like, I've never thought of doing stand-up.

And so they took me around, like, showed me how they did spots, you know, and I was like, yeah, but what do you, like, how do you do this?

And then because of that, they introduced me one day in like one of these small rooms.

They're like, oh, he's a comic.

And I was like, yeah.

And then they're like, do you want to do a show next Thursday?

I was like, sure.

Yeah.

And then I just threw myself in.

What year was this?

2002.

Oh, wow.

That was, yeah, that was, yeah, I was kind of already out there a little bit.

Yeah, that's when I, that's when I started.

And then, and then I just kind of, as I started, oh, I fell in love with it.

And then I started to like

pull back from the other stuff, like going to these, you know, improv school and all that, and just focusing on stand-up.

And then it just, you know, took off, like, just kept going.

Huh.

Yeah.

Interesting.

Everybody got a different story.

You started in Cincinnati?

Uh-uh.

I started in San Diego.

Oh, in San Diego.

I was in the Navy.

So I thought.

I thought

you had to start in L.A.

I didn't think you could start in whatever city you was at.

So I thought, you got to get to L.A.

I also thought the whole state of California was L.A.

Right.

Something in David Lee Roth, California goes, I didn't know there was a Eureka and a Fresno.

Yeah, it's a big-ass state.

Yeah.

I remember my first day I got stationed in San Diego.

So I joined the Navy because I was in a trailer park in Hamilton, Ohio.

And then

I was like, how do you get out of here?

The military was the one place I go, oh, they're going to fly me.

They're going to actually get me out of this place because I didn't know where I want to go.

That's not where I didn't want to be.

So I was like, all right.

I said, if I could just get to California, I could start stand-up.

I just got to get there.

So first two years, I'm in D.C.

We're in the Honor Guard.

And then they gave me a shot to get station to San Diego.

I go, yes.

Yeah.

My first day in San Diego.

The plan is all in my brain.

Like, this is it.

So I call this place.

I'm in the phone book, mid-90s.

I call this play called the Comic Castle.

And I said, hey, you guys got Open Mic?

And he said, Hold on, let me check.

I go, Huh?

Let me check.

Yeah, he comes back.

It was a comic.

It's kind of what we do here.

It was a comic book store.

He was looking for a superhero named Open Mike, I guess.

So he calls me, he goes, I can't find him.

I go,

what?

I go,

he goes, and I'm kind of dumbfounded on the phone.

He goes, man, what are you looking for?

I go, no, I'm a comedian, man.

I came out.

I never been on stage.

I'm saying I'm a comedian.

He was like, I'm a comedian.

He goes, oh, it's a comic book store.

Nah,

you got to call the comedy store in la jolla and he gives me the guy's number and then that's where there was open mic on uh sundays yeah it's the only day you can get up so i called i went up didn't go well and uh bobby lee was on that show though he was

open micing back then we started open micing together really he was probably a year in before i started yeah and then uh it took me about another

god probably seven months eight months to get the nerve to go back up after that first night.

After the first night?

Yeah, it was, because I thought that was it.

Wow.

There's more to I got kicked out.

I got banned.

From that one night?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What'd you do?

I was 20,

and there was like 10 people in the audience, but like 20 comics in the back.

And they weren't heckling, but they were doing what comics do.

They were giving me the loud

before the punchline.

And, you know, I got this five minutes I've been working on my whole life.

I got, I can't turn right or left.

So I'm getting flustered.

So I just went, I had a beer beer in my hand.

I go, hey, all you comics in the back, go ahead and keep heckling.

And I go, I'm 20 years old.

I've been drinking in this club all night.

Why don't I call the cops and shut this motherfucker down?

So

when I saw the mic went off, the lights went off.

Two of the bouncers just grabbed me by the back of the shirt and they threw me out the front door.

And I did like a front roll.

And then I dusted myself off.

And there was a guy named Fred who won America's funniest home videos.

He had the crutches.

Something was wrong with him.

I just remember he came out with his crutches and he stood over me, never come back.

You're banned.

So I was like, well, that sucked.

That didn't go like I thought.

Yeah.

And then,

so it took me like a few more months to figure out, oh, there's other places I can go up in San Diego.

Okay.

So then that's when I really got started.

And I had to go back and apologize eventually.

How long was it before you went back to La Jolla's club?

It was probably

not a year, but close to a year.

Okay.

Because I was starting to do, you know, took me a a couple of months.

It's like, fuck.

And you remember David Arnold?

Passed away last year.

The name is familiar.

He was just, it sucks.

He was just starting to bubble up.

Really?

Starting to get, got a Netflix special.

He wrote on a lot of stuff.

Oh, man.

So, yeah, he passed away.

Yeah.

Dang, three years.

Three years ago already.

I had ACL reconstructive surgery and his first wife was my, the girl doing my paperwork on my knee.

And I went to her cubicle and she had all these articles of David about a comedian in San Diego.

I go, Who's that?

And she goes, Oh, that's my husband.

I go, I'm a comedian.

And keep on in the Navy, I've been up that one time.

Yeah, yeah.

And she goes, Oh, I gotta get you in touch with my husband.

So I called him, and he said, All right, man, this is what you gotta do.

You gotta get a headshot, you gotta get a resume, gotta get a bio, and you gotta get some time on a VHS tape.

You gotta send it out to the clubs.

And I go, So I get a headshot, I get a bio, I got a fake, rep, everything's fake.

Yeah.

And I'm still in the Navy and I'm sending it out to all these clubs all across the country with no VHS tape, hoping they'd call back.

And

so

I kept calling him every week and he wouldn't return my calls.

I'm like, man.

So then I started going up a lot in San Diego.

And then I started to build like, you got your little, you know, the

open mic is its own community.

Sure.

So I started to get in with everybody.

And then they was like, you know, Gary's pretty funny.

He's doing his thing.

And so finally, David answered like six, seven months later, and he goes, Hey, man, I purposely was avoiding your calls.

He goes, Cause you were just going to spin your wheels.

And he goes,

I answered all your questions.

So he goes, but now I see you're doing it.

So then we start talking, then we start hanging out a little bit.

But that's really where it all got started.

And then I had to apologize at a comedy store because all my buddies was over there.

How long did you stay in San Diego before you went to LA?

Where is that where you went?

You went to L.A.?

I was going to L.A.

probably three, four days a week.

Once I started open micing, you make that drive.

Yeah.

That's so serious.

And

most of the times I wasn't going up, but I just wanted to be around it.

So I'd sit in the back of the comedy store.

I'd just pay, sit in the back of the original room, just watch.

And then

I started to go up a little bit, get some spots.

You know, it was a kind of shitty rooms and all that.

And then it just kind of, I won the funniest black comedian San Diego contest.

That's insane.

So wait a minute.

Hold on.

Because like everybody knows in stand-up that you have a huge black follower

and that like that's, you know, it's a remarkable thing.

Cause here's the thing.

When you, when you start doing stand-up, there's this thing about doing rooms that are outside of like who you are.

In other words, there's gay rooms, right?

There's black rooms.

There's Latin rooms.

Like, so it's always a thing to be like, hey, are you going to do this

outside room?

Right.

And there's always more pressure on it because you're not one of the whatever group.

So you always have like a little more anxiety, a little more like focus, right?

You're a little like, hey, I mean, fucking, I hope this goes well.

And people would always do this thing, like, are you going to do the, like, the black rooms, especially felt like they were always the highest stakes because you know, you already knew instinctively that there's a standard that they're going to let you know if you suck

and it's going to feel different than like a white club.

It's going to

feel different.

And then if it goes well, it's going to be euphoria.

It's going to be a whole other level.

And it's like, I did, you know, I just, in LA, you know, I did the Comedy Union, which is on Pico.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Ends, that was his name.

And, you know, all black rooms.

And then I would open sometimes in the club system

for like black comics who had all black followings, basically.

You know, like everything like

Witherspoon,

Tommy Davidson.

I went out with Charlie Murphy a couple of times.

So you were always like, all right, like fucking dial in for this.

But you from the, was it from the jump?

Like you were just like, I'm in these rooms.

I'm just doing this.

Well, when I got kicked out of the comedy store, that first time I ever went up.

Yeah.

I was telling like some black guys I was in the Navy with how it went.

I go, man, that did not go like I thought.

I thought I was about to get discovered that night.

Right.

Right.

And you were funny amongst your Navy friends, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everybody knew.

I never had nobody be like, you're crazy.

It was like, I could see it.

You're a funny old one.

And I could always make the black guys laugh too, which was key, especially on the ships, because when you're in the middle of the water,

everybody sits in groups.

Like the Filipino guys are here.

The Mexican guys are here.

The black guys are here.

I always sat with the black guys because I like football and basketball.

Right.

I want to talk.

I didn't want to talk race cars or how I hate it.

You know, I hate at my wife's shit type shit.

white guys white guys were really bad at that

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That's like, I don't want no part of this.

So I'd always hang out with the brothers.

We can talk shit about basketball.

And if you're the one white guy, obviously i would always dig on them you know larry bird or you know joe montana type yeah you know so they're the ones that told me about the black nights in san diego they go dude you can go here you can go here

so with the mainstream rooms which is the comedy store and i didn't know anybody else over there i didn't know where to go but the black guys told me where to go so i was like oh i can get up three four times a week I go, oh, I just want to go up.

Yeah.

And I was so naive, I don't even realize I'm in a bad neighborhood.

I'm just driving in.

What's the address?

Going in.

What's up with all these window bars?

Yeah.

I've noticed nothing, you know?

Yeah.

There's a lot of liquor stores out here.

Yeah.

So then that's what really got me into quote-unquote the black world.

And then at the same time, when I started going to LA,

I did the whole wait in line for three hours to open Mike at the comedy store.

Yeah.

And

when I finally got selected to showcase for Mitzi Shore,

the time I went up, I'll never forget it was four girls and me.

We were the five.

And I was the fifth at all of them.

When I went up to do my five minutes, I looked in the back of the original room and Mitzi's like talking to the other four girls, paying no attention.

That's how mine went, by the way.

And

I know it sounds conceited, but I clearly had the best set that night, right?

So I was like, I should be good.

And then when they call me a couple of days, yeah, Mitzy doesn't think you're ready.

I went, what?

And then, like, I don't know what happened to the girls, but I was just like, I told myself, I'm never going up there.

And I never have.

Never?

Just the Black Knights.

I would do the comedy store.

I would do the main room on the Fat Tuesdays.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But guy, Tori was running Fat Tuesdays at the time.

So he'd always give me a spot like once a month, once every six weeks.

So I'd drive up, and then I'd go do it.

And then he finally ended up moving to there.

But that's really how I started doing all the black rooms.

And then

San Diego had, we're looking for the funniest black comedian San Diego contest, and I won it.

But it was a, it was a, it was a fiasco.

It wasn't like the top of the top.

It was really bad.

Yeah.

And everybody was doing jokes I'd heard.

I was like, I've heard towels,

a lot of music cues.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I was like, oh, this is kind of, it was a landslide.

It was, it was bad.

And then

there was a guy named Demilitant, Daryl Littleton, who was a producer of ComicQue.

He also went up.

So he's the one that got me the audition for ComicQ.

I got on.

And all this is like within the first two years of me doing stand-up.

This is like 96 to 98.

And then

I got on ComicQueue and ended up winning the whole thing.

So that got me the host of Comic View.

That's insane.

And that's when I started going out to nightclubs and headlining.

So I was still in the Navy when all this was happening.

Still in the Navy?

Because

I was driving up to LA.

I wasn't doing any rogue gigs.

And I remember

the only time I ever featured for somebody, his name was Chaz Elsner at the El Paso comic strip.

And they said, we're going to pay you $500 Wednesday through Sunday.

Nice.

You got to get here.

And we're just going to get a comic condo.

You know, the three of us, me, Chaz, and whoever the host was, we had this comic condo.

And I thought, how are they going to make money?

That is so much money.

I really thought that.

Like, $500?

How are you guys going to make money?

Damn.

I drove.

I took a couple days leave.

I drove Wednesday morning, drove straight to El Paso, got there like a couple hours for the show.

And I just remember to make it that week, Arby's had

$2 beef and cheddars.

You get two of them.

That was lunch.

There you go.

I bought a box of cocoa puffs and gallon of milk.

That was breakfast.

And then I ate at the club, brought something back to the room.

I was like, I came back like $400 to the good.

I was like, oh, this is the life.

I'm living good.

Dude, man.

I was drunk.

That whole drive felt like five minutes.

That's incredible.

Because you just want want to go up in a new city.

Sure.

But that was the only time I feared for somebody.

And then Comic View called.

And that was the only time I really left town for a week while I was in the Navy.

So then they called and said, we want to make you the host.

And I was like, oh, shit, I still got like a couple months left in the Navy here.

How's this going to work?

But they weren't filming for another three months.

So I just, my base and my command got creative.

And I, so I was literally hosting Comic View and active duty military at the same time.

But my base was real cool.

They were?

I'm not going to throw under the bus, but they worked a way for me to go record.

They were on your side.

Yeah.

Come back down for a couple of days.

You could have had some.

And I'm on the gate.

I'm waving cars on the, I'm a cop, so I'm waving cars on the base, and I'm on TV at the same time.

That's insane.

That's crazy.

And the CO was just like a cool.

The CO didn't know.

Oh, he didn't know.

The chief knew.

Okay, okay.

The chief was looking out.

That's cool.

He basically, I can tell now, he put me on a part of the base that nobody was really paying attention to.

Yeah.

And it was like people were like training to do something.

And I was supposed to be grading papers.

Yeah.

So I was supposed to be in this office all day on this building that nobody's paying attention to on the base, grading papers.

I wasn't doing that.

Yeah.

But that's what they thought I was doing.

I wonder, as somebody who has like.

conquered this in in doing these rooms in stand-up what would your advice be to like a white comic who's in it for a few years like he has his act together has his time whatever 10 minutes whatever it is and he's like i'm going to do a black room tonight like do you give him any advice in any direction no i say be you just do yourself i saw

when i first started coming up and doing fat two you didn't see a lot of white guys going up i was like the only one i saw sebastian go up and destroy being himself But he did the Jamie Fox thing from Ray.

He turned the spotlight on him.

Like all the lights was up.

He goes, no, when I go up, all the lights go out and you hit me with that spotlight in the

main room.

And

I was like, and this, I think this is before Ray came out.

So when I saw the movie Ray, I go, wait a minute, that's that shit that did that guy did at the comic store.

I didn't really know who Sebastian was.

This is probably 2000.

I'm guessing.

I saw him just destroy.

And I was like, I think with black audiences, and the biggest difference between white audiences,

black audiences have no skeletons in their closet.

If your cousin's special needs, talk about it.

If your cousin's gay, talk about it.

But don't try to snowball us.

Right.

You know what I mean?

And I did cheat.

I had a cheat code in the beginning because I would dance.

So I'd come out and put on some,

I don't know, Destiny's Child or hip-hop, hit them with a couple of dances, and they'd be like, oh, shit.

And then I kind of got them.

Yeah.

So it was a little bit of a cheat code.

Bro, I had some dance moves too.

But then when you hit like 35, you're like, I should stop dance.

I remember thinking, when does this end?

When does the dance moves end to get them?

Yeah.

Because, you know, because you come out and they're like, oh, it's a white dude.

Then you hit him with a couple dance moves.

They have hot dancers.

They're like, all right.

Yeah.

I think I heard a funny,

dude, I swear this is, I heard this from Louie, I think, once, where.

He was at, I think at the improv, the Melrose improv.

And it was like, whatever, you know, whatever night, the

Monday night show.

Monday night was, that was the ghettoist of all of them.

Well, he's on this show, and they go, they intro, they're like, the writer-director of Pootie Tang.

So the whole audience is like, oh, like, they don't know who that is.

They're like, oh, yeah, we know Puddy Tang.

And then he walks up and they were like, huh?

And then he did like, you know, like a Louis, I forget what the joke was, but, but he said that, you know, he did like some throwaway kind of line and that people were like, nah, hell no.

Just like, go.

Well, what?

I will say

to go there, like, you know, someone like Ralphie May

or like Lewis, you know, some guys are like, I don't know,

they kind of go there with the race stuff a little bit.

You do have to build some kind of rapport

before you go in.

Like, I could get away with a lot more than a lot of people.

Yeah, they know you.

Yeah.

They trust trust you.

Exactly.

Yeah.

I think sometimes, because I, there was always a story about Ralphie May on this thing called the Tom Joyner.

Um, Tom Joyner Morning Show had this big cruise every year.

It's just all black people on the cruise.

Yeah.

And

I did it five or six times.

Always went great.

One year they brought Ralphie, and it didn't go well at all.

And it's one thing to get booed, but to get booed on a ship.

Yeah, you're not.

You got to know where to go.

Yeah.

And it was.

You're not parked in the back.

Oh, I don't know what joke he said, but it was something to the extent of, I don't want to misquote him because he's not here no more, but it was along the lines of

I'm shocked to see this many black people on a ship after all you've been through.

Along those lines, right?

They were like this.

What?

And keep in mind.

The Tom Jordan recruits is nothing but college-educated black people.

They're not a part of that.

we don't have w-2 crowd yeah you know what i mean they're like what right they said it got they say phones don't work on ships yeah bullshit

because my phone was ringing really

like why'd they bring him where you at like why am i the only white guy that can do that ship they said but i had to come back the next year and that's the first thing i said i said i already heard what happened last year

y'all know me here yeah

yeah but i heard it didn't go well but that was like one of the things that if Rafa would have had enough rapport,

he could have got away with something.

But when you go up,

they didn't know who you were.

Yeah.

They said it was bad.

Well, especially if you, like, that's a funny joke.

It's a funny observation.

If, if you're unknown to them, like, if you don't have the rapport and like you open with that, that can set you aside.

Cause it's different to drop that like 40 minutes in.

Yeah.

You know, like if you have something going and then you make that joke, everyone's like, oh, it's funny.

But if you like out of the gate, like, nice to meet you.

Funny that that you're here.

I mean, that was what I heard, that was it.

Yeah, yeah.

It was like, and they said, oh, and then they said he came, because on this Tom Joyner cruise, you don't go up once, you go up like three, four times over the week.

They said he came back the next night to apologize.

My bad about last night.

And then he did another like boom.

And they was like, you.

And it was something about.

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I don't want to repeat it.

It was somebody.

what a black woman's vagina looks like.

Nice.

That was the gist of it, right?

My apologies.

And the only reason I know that is because some black girl came up to me the next week, next year, and said, Yeah, that dude last year, I don't know what he was talking about.

He was talking about, well, the black woman's pussy.

What the hell?

He knows what a black woman.

I know you know, Gary.

I know you know.

You could have said that because we know you know.

But he ain't never seen no black pussy.

I was like, they said the apology went bad.

They said the crowd went,

what?

What, dude?

Fuck.

Yeah.

That.

Well, rest in peace, Ralphie.

You were fucking good.

I thought, yeah.

You know, for me,

I like dark humor like most comedians, but I can see where I went left, but I was like, it was kind of, that was kind of ballsy.

I kind of gave him respect.

Yeah, that's really.

I've been

there to go there.

To go for it?

I was like...

To go there out of the gate is different, too.

I mean, I think we've all had it where you're like, I'm going to open with this.

I mean, that's literally, that's a boxer.

Yeah.

It's like Peter McNeely in that Mike Tyson fight.

He just said, I'm going to go out swinging.

I'm coming in just throwing haymakers from jump.

So he also said he was going to wrap him in a cocoon of fear.

Yeah.

Right before he went.

He's like, I will wrap him in a cocoon of fear.

And you're like, what?

That was what I think that was the best pre-fight interview was Peter McNeely in the locker right before

my family.

Yeah.

From Medford.

He was about to cry.

He saw his dad go,

Pete, not me.

No.

This ain't got nice.

Have you ever seen how this show normally opens, by the way?

Uh-uh.

Okay.

So, we usually play an opening clip to start.

Oh,

I just started hot, didn't I?

No, no, no, it's perfect.

Okay.

But I'm just going to play you like what normally happens here.

Just that we find a clip and we play it as the opening of the show.

I'm Ryan, and I want to be barted on by a Brazilian cutie with a big booty.

I mean, there's something magical about getting a paint guy that way.

And then this is

how the show show officially opens.

Oh!

Yeah.

I think we did right.

I think it was great.

So Ryan wants farts, Brazilian farts.

I think Ryan should be happy anybody.

Christina.

Farts on this.

He um.

We've played clips of him.

Did you see a stand-up?

No.

Okay, good.

I think he works in safety.

Okay, good.

I didn't want to see him on the road like, hey, bitch.

Yeah, I think he has like orange, you know, like

an orange vest on and putting cones down, that kind kind of thing is he all is he the guy you play you play him a lot

I mean we found a few videos of his where

He just keeps talking about how he wants a big ass in his face, which is cool.

It's fine.

Yeah, um, I don't know if it works, but we try to help him by promoting his message now he's saying he wants to get farted on which is different

You know you can get that done definitely.

Yeah.

I mean for the right price people do a lot.

Yeah, I mean I've seen videos where people are like yeah, this guy pays me 200 bucks to shit on him.

I mean, have you seen

the rumor is there's always these

OnlyFans and Instagram models.

They go to like the Middle East.

Yeah.

And it's supposed to be just wild shit going on.

They're getting flown private.

Yeah.

Coming back with like 300,000 in their bank account.

Someone get pissed and shit on.

Yeah.

I go, I'm just going to try to be funny.

Just funny.

Also, try to tell jokes.

The mindset of like being

some

Middle Eastern, you know, multi-million billionaire, and you're like, Yeah, I've done all the stuff that you guys turns you on.

It's boring to me.

Can I shit on a model?

Yeah.

Like a beautiful.

Can I get a beautiful, like a 10 over here and I'll shit on her face?

Yeah.

And maybe I'll come once.

Like, like, yeah, like, Jesus Christ.

Broken spine and limbs.

Oh, you guys went dark.

Holy shit.

She's 20.

She's gorgeous.

This is a gorgeous Ukrainian girl.

10 days.

Yeah.

Some guy like, you come here, we give you 100,000.

Dumped on the side of the road in Dubai.

Holy fuck.

She went on several, including a broken spine.

That's a lot.

She was taken to the hospital.

She underwent several surgeries.

The officials have explained, they said the model entered a restriction, a restricted construction site alone and fell from a height.

Okay.

that's what beautiful 20-year-olds are usually like.

Are they making a building here?

I'd love to see what type of concrete's being used.

She's gonna be all right.

I read that last one.

Get a medical treatment, everything will be all right.

Shit, everything will be all right.

And she's going back.

She's going back.

With a

big bank account.

Come on.

She looks like AI, bro.

Yeah.

That's insane.

Some guy just fucking was like, I wonder how hard I can hit someone.

Fucking back in the day.

she had probably had to sign the airtight MDA.

Holy shit.

She clearly didn't read it.

Probably said, if your spine breaks, it's on you.

You can't say nothing.

You were visiting a site.

Fucking crazy.

I like how the family is saying they believe that she did not fall at a construction site.

Like, yeah, I know.

That is the least believable lie.

That that girl was like, what are they making here?

This is cool.

Is this a condo?

Can I get a tour?

It's fucking so insane.

It's like the Eddie Murphy girl died.

Remember that?

The girl that went after Eddie Murphy like in 97

on Santa Monica.

Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.

And then it was a

Transvestite.

And then he or she, I don't know which one it was,

fell off the roof of the apartment building.

Really?

Yeah.

I don't remember that.

And it was like

the paper said she

locked herself out and she tried to swing in from her shawl from the roof into her window, but the window was closed and she fell to her death.

Yeah, that's a normal.

Yeah, right there.

Look.

1998.

Wow.

Sex worker being at the police getting emergency SUVs, unaware of the driver.

He was pulled over by police.

Holy shit.

Does it say how she died?

There you go.

On April's, a neighbor found her dead on the sidewalk, discovered wearing only her bra, pants, and a towel.

She was locked out of her apartment and tried to use a towel as a rope to slide down or swing from the roof to an open window.

Instead, she fell five floors and suffered head trauma.

Yeah, that happened.

Yeah.

Nothing shady there.

When I read that, that was when you used to get newspapers.

Right.

I'm literally in LA at the time.

I'm looking at the LA Times.

It's like on the fifth page.

And I go, what?

And even, I'm like, what?

How is this the fifth page?

And you never heard nothing about it.

Never.

No.

Till right here.

That's really crazy.

Have you ever met Eddie?

I did Daddy Daycare with him.

How was it?

He was cool.

He's just like, I was just, first of all, he really does seem ageless.

You know, like, you're like, this, I mean, he basically looks like kind of the same as when you.

Nah, Eddie was the.

He was the coolest.

And granted, this is 20 years ago we did Daddy Daycare, but we did

the auditioning, got it, did, um, did the table read.

He wasn't there for that.

We blocked the scene that morning.

He wasn't there for that.

And then when it was time to shoot, he showed up.

Yeah.

And I remember my first interaction is I come around the door and I'm in this big cared outfit and Eddie's standing there.

And for literally 30 seconds,

I was listening to him talk, but I wasn't registering what he was saying.

Yeah.

Because I'm dissecting everything.

I go, it's his nose.

Yeah.

That's Eddie's ears, his teeth.

I'm like, because I'm this close.

And then

he, we did it, and he goes, hey, man, he goes, you're a funny dude.

And he quoted one of my jokes.

I go, shut up.

You know, one of my jokes.

But he would always be in the back of the comedy store on Tuesdays a lot.

Yeah.

And so you'd always find out later.

They go, Eddie was here tonight.

And so then

the fact that he knew one of my jokes, I was like, oh, kind of validated it.

Yeah, that's so crazy.

I mean, that's the, it has to be the best feeling.

I mean,

I have a friend that knows him that said that even now he loves watching, he watches watches specials a lot.

So he sits around watching.

He knows everybody.

Yeah.

Everything.

He's up to date with all that shit.

I just can't believe that in stand-up, like in comedy especially, one of the things that the trade-offs is like, you can be cool, but you're not that cool.

Like Eddie Murphy cool?

But that's what like Eddie is like the exception of like remarkably funny, and he has the coolness of like a leading man action guy.

You know what I mean?

Like, most of the time, if you're a calm, like if you do stand-up, you're just not that cool.

You know, you trade off a little bit of coolness to be funny.

That's my first time meeting you guys.

That's you right there?

That was right there.

He comes around the corner.

You know what I'm talking about?

Nervous, holding that goddamn carrot.

Oh, my God.

Like, Taylor, Murphy about to walk around the corner.

See about to walk around the corner?

That's wild.

Oh, yeah.

Steve Zon, Jeff Garland.

Yeah.

That's crazy, dude.

Yeah, that was awesome.

I've been lucky in my career.

I've worked with every

A-list black comedian.

Like, I've got Jamie Foxx right off the bat.

Did held up with him?

And then we did Rebound with Martin Lawrence and did Little Man with the Weigh-Ins.

I've obviously done four or five movies with Kevin Hart.

Like, it's been like,

as far as black Hollywood, I was like, yeah, I got to work with all of them.

Of top tier, dude.

I feel like Martin doesn't get celebrated as much as he should.

Oh, that Martin show.

Jesus.

To this day.

Now, I love how social media, the clips pop up now.

Yeah.

They still hold up.

They still hold up.

Man.

Also,

when Def Jam was like the hottest show,

it was crazy because you would see like really funny people.

But I always had this thing where I was like, I couldn't wait for him to come back.

Like I was waiting for the host.

Even if he was going to do something transitional.

Like, hey, give it up.

He was, because he was so charismatic and so funny that even 15 seconds of him, I was like, yeah, that was awesome.

Like, I just.

He was the original crowd work.

Dude.

You never,

I always said, like, the Def Jam that struck me, like, oh, the media can portray somebody one way.

They can be completely different.

Remember Derek Coleman from Syracuse and Detroit and all that?

They always act like he was the biggest asshole.

And like, he always has a scowl on his face.

And then he was in the audience at Def Jam and Martin went off on him.

Like, talking about he fucked his girlfriend girlfriend or something like that, kidding.

And this guy's hitting the guy next to him and dying.

I go, wait a minute.

Yeah.

I thought he was about to get out of the seat and beat Martin's ass.

And I was like, he's laughing at that?

Oh,

I can't believe everything I see on TV and how they can't.

How they show people.

Remember, do you watch the one where he lit up Anthony Mason?

Oh, my God.

Him and John Starks was in the audience.

Oh, fuck yeah.

I remember that.

There were so many good ones.

So many good ones.

But he was like, dude.

It wasn't the same after he left.

This is no disrespect to Joe Torrey.

Then they brought it back years later with Mike Epps and DL.

It was never

like those first three years.

No, that was incredible, dude.

That was the best run.

Where'd you shoot?

Because you've done a bunch of specials, but the

sorry, what's it called?

The S.

No S.

No S.

Where'd you shoot it?

San Jose at the improv.

Oh, that's a beautiful room.

Yeah.

Well, this one came about.

It's crazy how it came about because you know how stand-ups are,

you work so hard for your hour when you're going to get it.

And I go, all right.

So Friday we shot this one called Broken Family that's on YouTube.

And then Saturday morning, we did two episodes.

I mean, we did two shows Friday.

And then Saturday, I woke up.

I was talking to my manager.

We was at coffee shop.

And I go, yo, did we get last night clean?

And she goes, yeah.

I go, I think I got another hour.

I think we can do it.

What the fuck, man?

So she was like,

yeah, she goes, all right.

Let's write it down.

So we're at the coffee shop and I'm just writing bullet points down, right?

I go, I got this.

I got this.

I said, I think I got it.

So she, we taped, I remember it was one through 12.

We taped 12 words.

So on the stage, in case I got lost, because I was so focused on the other hour.

I know it's a new hour, but I knew I had like a,

I only had to get through like 45 minutes because I had this joke about Undercover Boss that was like 15 minutes long, and it's in this special.

And I had shot it for my special like two, three years ago for Showtime.

And Showtime said, you got to take that joke out because they're Showtime and Undercover Boss are both under like the CBS umbrella.

And that was one of their most profitable shows.

And they said, she got, I go, really?

I said, I'm not even, I'm making fun of it, but I'm not putting it down.

Yeah.

I thought that was a little much.

Yeah.

So I told Lisa, that's what made me think of it when I woke up Saturday.

I said, yo, I still got the undercover boss bit.

We never aired it.

Yeah.

I can do it.

And then she was like, she's all right.

So we just came up with the other 45.

And honestly,

it came out way better than what I thought.

I thought, let's just wing it.

And if we don't use it, we don't use it.

But it came out.

I got done with the hour.

I go,

that felt good.

Then we did it a second time.

It felt good.

So I ended up getting two specials for the price of one.

That's insane.

It's insane as a comedian that you were capable of doing that.

That is,

I mean, unbelievable, dude.

But here's what's funny.

Yeah.

It's the same outfit.

It's the same stage.

You wear the same shit on both?

Yeah.

That's funny.

Because I've only brought, I brought that shirt twice.

Yeah.

I brought two pairs of jeans.

Yeah.

Because you got to switch fries there.

I was like, if you watch Broken Family and No S, it really could be a two-hour special.

Sure, sure.

But that's still so impressive that you could do that.

I mean,

that's wild that you just had another hour sitting in your head.

Like, yeah, I can do this other tonight.

Yeah.

Crazy.

Yeah.

But I mean, it came about because that undercover boss bit.

I was like, that's what the catalyst was.

I can do that too.

Oh, yeah, the reality show, right?

Like, where the boss goes in, they hide out.

Put him a wig and a fake nail.

Yeah, but that was the gist of the joke was like

going through COVID, you start watching a bunch of shows you wouldn't watch.

And I go, it ruined Undercover Boss.

I used to like it, but it always ends the same.

Yeah.

It's the same.

It's always a sob story.

And then they're going to overreact.

They're going to give you a bunch of people.

I know you work in the warehouse and you have three kids that are

in college.

We're going to pay for them to go to college.

And then they have to do the thing to the guy that was kind of a dipshit.

The way you talked about women's tits was really offensive to me here at hooters we have a standard we have a standard and you didn't meet that standard don't disrespect them so you can get fucked and you're like oh wow what a great guy yeah yeah yeah look at this fucking guy

jesus you don't think the show's on anymore is it not it had a good run yeah it was a real good run i think we had a um

you We we auditioned for a movie.

I think you got the part.

Because I got called back like two, three times.

You know how you go up for a movie and then you watch it, and you're like, I think that's the part.

Did you do a movie with Mark Wahlberg?

Yeah, some family movie.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Yep.

Yeah, they kept calling me back.

Then they go, and then you know, you do an audition and then you're like, just put it to bed.

Yeah.

But then when they call you back, you're like, what?

Yeah, that's,

yeah, yeah, that's us there.

Yeah, that's on the set.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You were the dad, right?

Didn't you have babies?

Me and Alan Rachel, the girl there, we were a couple that was

br I was I was Mark's brother-in-law.

Like her, the girl and Rose.

Instant family, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, the um that's your audition tape?

I have no fucking idea.

Hysterical.

I did mine in my basement.

I was living in Cincinnati at the time.

I found out that they also almost cast, God,

um, Paul Hauser for that role too.

Oh, really?

I can see that.

I was like, oh, yeah, he's way better choice.

Um, that was like David, you know, David Kechner?

Yeah.

So I did a movie with him.

And

when I sat down with him, I go, dude, you know, you've like killed my movie career.

Like a while ago, you've got like three parts, bro.

Like iconic parts

that I went in for at the time, like Anchorman,

Whammy.

And then when you watch, you're like, why didn't I think of that?

Yeah, he's great.

He's great.

No, he's really good.

Really good.

Yeah.

Super funny guy.

But yeah, you've had a great run in movies too, man.

Like, it's awesome.

Yeah.

it's funny when you talk about think like, like, think like a man was probably a big one, you know?

But it was funny.

Like, I remember when I got the call for that,

I didn't have to audition.

That's the best.

Because you know what sucks is when you do do auditions, you're like, you know, you can just give me it.

Yeah.

Because I've gotten shit given to me before.

Great to offer.

Yeah.

Well, Will Packer was a producer.

I don't forget he called me.

He goes, hey, Gary, I got this movie, man.

Steve Harvey book.

He goes, I need a white guy that can hang out with black guys, but not try to be black.

He goes, but I need somebody that can kind of give it to him a little bit on the low.

I was like, all right.

Yeah.

But I remember, and I could be wrong, but I remember we were talking about Cassidy.

They said, there's two white guys.

Chris Pratt was in the running for one, because he wasn't who he is now.

Yeah.

Because I remember when his name came up, I went, who's that?

And they were like, the guy is on like Modern Family or not Modern Family.

Parks and Rec.

Parks and Rec.

Yeah.

He's on Parks and Record.

Oh, and I looked at him.

I go, oh, yeah, that guy's funny.

And then I went, he looks a lot like me, though.

And then they were like,

yeah, we're going back and forth with the studio.

He goes, but Will was like, I'm going to bat for you.

I was like, all right.

So I think Chris ended up all right.

Yeah,

things worked out.

Yeah, he's good.

He's real good now.

Yeah.

That's incredible, bro.

Like, you, oh, you want to play a game with me real quick?

Sure.

All right.

Throw your headphones on.

So, this is

so many people have done this game.

Okay.

It's called Tom or Black, and it's a voice that you'll hear, and you have to vote whether it's me or a black guy.

Okay, right?

I should crush this.

I mean, there's a lot of pressure.

I should.

Yeah.

You should just.

Okay, here we go.

Oh, this is the intro to the game.

Let's see.

This episode.

I'm the one that had the elephants roosting in trees.

Shit, man, that's Tom Seguro.

Okay, so here we go.

I left a wallet there.

You can also ask for repeats of it.

Did you speed that up?

No.

Say it again.

Okay.

I left a wallet there.

That's a black guy.

So

he'll keep scoring there.

Okay.

Don't compliment that bitch.

That's a black guy.

Okay.

Fuck with my ass, man.

That's sound like Dave Chappelle.

I would say say Black.

No, that's you.

That's Tom.

Here we go.

God damn it.

That's you.

Why he came through.

Black guy.

That sounds you.

I'm gonna go black guy.

I think you're trying to trick me.

I mean, I'm always trying to trick you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then.

You need to come with a product.

I'm gonna hear it again.

Yeah.

Again, I think you're trying to trick me.

I'm gonna go black eye.

Okay.

Um,

Josh,

how do you do?

Hold on, I gotta calculate the score, or should we go through one by one?

Yeah, let's go one by one.

That's a good idea.

Okay, okay.

So, you want to you want to play the first one back?

Sure, I left a wallet there.

He said, Black.

That's me.

If I was going to change one, it was that one.

Okay, second one.

Don't compliment that bitch.

He said, Black.

That's a black eye.

Cool.

Good job, man.

Fuck with my ass, man.

He said, Tom.

That's a black eye.

Was that Chappelle?

No, it's a homeless guy in the street.

Okay.

But a character he would have done.

Okay.

God damn it.

Said Tom.

That's a black eye.

I really fucked this game up.

It's okay.

What'd What'd he say?

Black?

That's me.

All right.

He said, black.

That's a black guy.

That's two, fright.

And then...

You didn't come with the product.

He said, black.

Who was that?

Is that me or the black guy?

That's you, right?

It sounds like.

You didn't come with the product.

Yeah, that was me.

What are you?

Two?

Two.

Out of what?

Six?

Seven.

Seven.

Two of seven.

I got to tell you, it feels good.

Not playing the game no more.

I've also had black people go, we've done 10 and they've gone 0 for 10.

I've been thinking like you're trying to fool me, though.

That's what I was like.

Yeah, no, I mean, I'm definitely trying to...

But those aren't sped up or nothing.

They're not sped up.

They're not manipulated.

Yeah.

Is this bits from your act?

I mean, sometimes we throw in bits like clips from a bit, and then sometimes it's just, you know.

I don't know.

Like I went to the Florida State Bama game this weekend, so I heard a lot of stuff, and I'll probably

fucking unbelievable.

It was great.

They won at home.

They were unranked playing eighth-ranked Bama.

It's Bama.

Bama coming.

And they went, FSU went two in 10 last year.

So you're like, they're going to get the absolute, like, that's what everybody, but the place was energized.

They have a renovated stadium.

Like, it was just, there was energy, palpable energy at the game.

And in every room, people were just vibrating.

Have you ever been to Colorado yet since Deion got there?

No.

Have you?

yeah well i didn't go to a game i went and uh did his talk show on tubi he's got a talk show uh-huh and then deon's so cool i mean i've known deon for 20 some years but he the next day i caught a late flight because i wanted to see the facilities so we go down there and deon comes out and just like a classic deon just walks you around the entire place you go up through his suite it looks like exactly how you think of deon's suite like there's i think there was a throne

you know what i mean everything's in gold Yeah.

And God.

Just golden God.

Golden God.

Yeah.

And Nike.

Yes.

And then even his, even his dressing room was just like all these Deion shoes lined up, look like

a trophy case of shoes.

And it's just, it's all prime.

Everything's prime.

Prime, prime, prime.

But he is, he is the best.

He's a big reason why

we was talking about earlier, like, you can't judge the Derek Coleman thing.

Yeah.

Like, I'm not going to throw him into the bus, but I'll tell you off air, but he came to one of my shows at Care Lines 20 some years ago, and he brought a white NFL guy and everybody knows.

And not that the white NFL guy was being a dick, but he clearly just wanted to get to a seat and not be bothered.

Dion went to the kitchen.

What's up, baby?

Yeah.

I fiving the cooks, the chefs, you know, all right, man.

And then he sits down.

I was like, just complete man of the people.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

And then people

were just like, look, I'm just trying to sit down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean?

And there's nothing wrong with that either.

I was like this.

I go, but now I saw and I go,

the news would make you think Deion's a prima donna and a dick.

Yeah.

And it would have been the other way around.

Sure.

I go, that's not what happened here.

He so cares.

I've never met him, but he did a podcast with me via Zoom like a couple years ago.

And it was awesome.

Like, because I'm a big FSU fan.

the foundation of that is being a kid and watching Prime for sure.

So you got, it's kind of sucked that you guys had Randy Moss.

Oh, dude.

And because he's, did you watch?

Some people don't know that.

The story that Randy Moss first went to Notre Dame, got kicked out for

nothing.

That was the fight.

In West Virginia.

I know.

Then he goes to because Bobby Baden was like, you can come down here.

Yeah.

Take guys a fight.

Right.

And then he's on the team that would have been, I guess it was 97 or 99.

Yeah, 97.

And that fucking team was already goddamn loaded and they said he was torching your dbs oh dude they was like who is this dude this dude's crazy and then he gets booted from there for smoking a joint yeah he when i've i've gotten really close to randy over the years i did his um when he got in the hall of fame he brought me to minnesota to roast him it was a real private event but randy's the best right so he

that ran university on espn when he said he went into bobby bowden's office and and Bobby Bowden's like, Yeah, they're gonna

violate your probation and you're gonna get kicked off the team, and yeah, you might go to jail for a little bit.

And Randy goes, For smoking a joint?

You would have thought he completely robbed the bank and violated the parole like that.

He goes, I just literally went home.

My boys was sitting on the corner at this gas station, and I took a hit of a joint.

And then

it was so ridiculous the way they treated him.

For people that watched games in that era, that means it would have been Peter Warwick and Randy Moss running routes.

I mean, they were already dropping fucking crazy points on people.

They were so dominant in that.

You had the old quarterback back then, right?

Yeah, yeah.

Shit.

It was a Winky, was it?

Yeah.

Chris Winky?

Yeah.

Is that his name?

He's like 30.

Yeah.

But like, yeah, he's got three kids.

He's got a mortgage.

Yeah, Randy's the best boy.

I met him at the Brady Roast.

He was fucking, yeah, he was awesome.

And I told a buddy of mine one time, when I go to Charlotte, oh, oh, come scoop me.

We'll go get something to eat, right?

Because my buddy's a, my opener is a football fanatic.

Yeah.

And I said, I didn't tell him who it was because I knew he might freak out a little bit.

So I was like, hey, my buddy's going to pick us up for lunch today.

I goes, meet me in the lobby at like one o'clock.

All right.

So we're out in front of the Maryot there in Charlotte.

And he goes,

I said, hey, he's going to be in a big pickup.

I said, I'm going to tell you who it is now.

So don't freak out when you get in a car.

I go, it's Randy Moss.

He goes, what?

I go, that's what I didn't tell you before.

And then he goes, he goes, dude, you start moving.

Yeah.

He goes, I'm going to go check my shirt, man.

What I'm, what's he going to be driving?

I go, I guarantee you, he'll be in a pickup.

I go, there'll be fishing rods in the back.

There'll be dirty gym clothes in the bed of the truck.

I go, it ain't going to be like Hall of Fame, Randy.

This dude is country.

Yeah.

So we get in the truck.

It was like Randy heard me talking.

There was shoes and gym clothes that were dirty.

There's lures and earthworms in the back of the truck.

And he started talking.

They started talking fishing.

I want to stab myself.

Oh, yeah.

Can we talk football?

Yeah.

I'm boy.

What kind of lures you like?

You know, you like deep sea.

Randy's like, I hate deep sea fishing, man.

Nah, you know, I'm from West Virginia.

And I moved to Charlotte because they got a lot of bodies of water.

He goes, I like to put my pole in the ground like that bobber going under.

He's really country.

Yo, yeah.

They talk fishing.

I go,

yo.

And Randy goes, and they're like, I'm never getting to go fishing.

I go, I'm going to catch one fish.

I'm not taking off the line.

Yeah.

It's one fish.

I'm going to hold it up.

And then I'm done.

I'm not touching it.

I don't want to do any of that.

I'm all good too, dude.

Yeah.

That's him and Randy talking fishing.

I was like, this Randy didn't talk football at all.

Do you ever see those clips of him playing basketball with Jay Will?

Oh,

ridiculous.

And then Jason's like, yo, he was unbelievable.

That was his quarterback.

Yeah.

Who he also was like, wasn't he player of the year one year, too?

I think Jason was.

Well, I wonder why.

Look who you're throwing to.

Just fucking.

Hey, I'll heave it up 12 feet in the air.

Just snag it.

Yeah.

That's just wild to me.

Like

Randy Moss is the most country redneck black guy you ever meet.

Yeah.

Jason Williams is the most flavorful white guy you ever meet.

But if you, if you get them together, the same person.

The same guy.

That's what's wild.

That's some West Virginia shit right there.

That is.

Yeah, that's, I just, I don't know.

You see, like,

Randy's one of of those guys where you go, like, oh, there really are like aliens amongst us,

you know what I mean?

Like,

something like that, you just go, there's the guy, the guy who can run a 4-3 can't cover him.

Yeah, like it's really other level, man.

He was he never looked like he was running hard, no, like casually.

I'm casually doing a 4-2 right now, and I'm 6-4.

Yeah,

fucking unreal, dude.

He ended up at Marshall.

You know, I grew up in in, we were talking about before the era, he was in Fairfield and Hamilton.

You know, well, I, where I went to high school, was Oxford.

That's Miami of Ohio.

You know, back then, Marshall played Miami.

They were in the same conference.

Oh.

And they was like, that was the one game that stadium was overpacked because Marshall came to Oxford.

And they were like,

we got to see this shit.

I think Miami beat him that year.

I think Miami beat Marshall that year.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is crazy that he ended up at a one double-A program.

That's wild.

Yeah.

Arguably the best player in the country is like, I'm going to go to a

different division school.

This guy could have started anywhere in the country.

It's crazy.

You still a big sports fan, though?

Yeah, yeah.

I'm sure this guy.

NFL football is my thing.

So I'm diehard Cincinnati Bengals.

That's nice to hear.

You don't hear that a lot.

Bengals?

Yeah, I mean, we got Johnson.

I always pull for the Bengals because I still have that affection.

That was my first thing.

You know what I mean?

Like, my dad's favorite sport was football.

So, we watched, we watched a lot of college ball and then NFL and Cincinnati.

Like, that was the first game I ever went to.

And then, when we left Cincinnati, we left in like the winter.

I guess, I think it was the winter of 88.

We left the year they went to the Super.

Yeah, yeah, Boomer Sciacin team.

Yeah, Icky Woods, who I ran into, by the way, on a flight.

Oh, really?

It was surreal because I'd never met him.

And this is like 30 years later.

Yeah.

And I was like, that's fucking Icky Woods.

Yeah.

And

he never got paid.

No, he never got paid.

People always be like, he's selling meat door to door.

I go, you realize he was like a fourth-round pick, right?

Yeah.

He only played like two years.

He never got paid.

The knees.

I think his knees went bad.

Yeah.

He only played like two, three years in the league, but that rookie year was ridiculous.

Crazy.

And if you're a kid,

I mean, I had his poster up.

Yeah, the icky shuffle.

Come on.

Jeez.

So we left and like we went to Minneapolis.

And I remember I went, because my parents were pretty Catholic, and they're going to play in the Super Bowl.

And I went to like the big downtown cathedral in Minneapolis and I prayed.

Like, please let the Bengals win the Super Bowl.

Like, they were like, what are you praying about?

I was like, nothing.

I just want to have a happy life.

And you don't even know.

Like, the guy, Stanley Wilson, got...

They found him in the hotel room, coked out of his mind.

Yep.

I was like, this.

That was, when that that happened, I go, I think we're fucked.

Yeah.

But didn't we still have the opening kickoff go back?

No, it was a kickoff went back.

Not the opening.

Not the okay.

Stanford Jennings brought it was like in the third quarter.

Yeah, he took one back to the house.

Like, Boomer didn't have a good game that game.

No.

But also, they put the San Francisco put together that.

It was a fourth quarter drive.

John Taylor, all that, like, yeah.

And then, like, two passes before that,

uh, Lewis Billips had the ball right in his hands and dropped it to DB.

And I just went, went,

I mean, it was Joe Montana.

He doesn't do that.

No.

He threw it right to him and he dropped it.

I go, oh, we're done.

It's like one of the things you saw coming.

I go, we got the lead, two minutes left.

I go, this is Joe Montana.

This is what he does.

It's what he does.

And then I, it's crazy because

I was in Syracuse at the Funnybone, probably about 10 years ago.

Joe's son was playing at Tulane.

And they were up there to play Syracuse.

And I saw Joe in the lobby.

And I went up to him.

I said, hey, first I went to the wife.

I said, hey, what's up, man?

Big football fan.

I said, you know, I know there's nothing to do here tonight.

The game's at noon.

I know you're not flying out after the games.

You can't get out of Syracuse.

I go, I'd like to invite you guys to a show.

So they said, yes.

I was shocked.

His wife calls.

Yeah, I think we're going to come tonight.

I was like, awesome.

So I leave him tickets.

He comes and hangs out in the dress room for a few minutes.

I don't think he really knew who I was, really, right?

Get done with the show.

I asked if I can get a picture, of of course.

We get a picture.

And then his guy took a picture too.

And then, like, a month later, I get this blown-up picture of me in Montana.

And he autographed it.

And it's got like his seal at the bottom.

He has to do that.

Yeah.

And I go, why you got to be nice?

Yeah.

I fucking hate it.

Yeah.

Why you got to be cool?

That's funny.

That's pretty rad.

Oh, my God.

Like, it just came out left.

His guy called and was like, yo, Joe, I wanted to send you a thank you for getting him in the show and everything.

Seal on it.

Yeah, it's got the Montana thing at the bottom.

I still got it.

I got it hung up at the house.

I'm like, I can't hang it up in the main room because people are like, I thought you liked the bingles.

Yeah, I know.

So I got in the back closet.

Yeah,

it's pretty cool, though, dude.

That's, I remember being a kid because I'm only like nine or ten when this happens, and I was obsessed with Jerry Rice.

Like, I loved Jerry Rice.

And I could, it was like the first time where I was like, oh, I actually, the feeling was, I can't believe I want Jerry Rice to lose.

Do you know what I mean?

Against the Bingles?

Yeah.

Cause like in the game, I was like, he's like an idol.

And I was like, oh, but I don't want him to win.

And that was like a conflicted feeling.

I can't believe I want, as a kid, I want this guy that I admire to lose.

And I mean, you understand in our business, like you go to cities and some guys might come out on another team and you're like,

I'm a Bingles fan.

I can't root for you.

I know.

Especially when you do well in cities.

Like Pittsburgh is a great comedy market.

Fantastic.

Cleveland.

Fantastic.

And they, you know, the guys, coaches, or players will come out and you're like, I'm not supposed to like you.

I'll root for you.

And then when they invite you to the game.

Yeah, you're like, shit.

I'll tell them, I go, dude, I'm not.

I won't wear Bengals shit.

Yeah, but I ain't wearing.

I ain't wearing your shit.

Yeah.

And

I'll golf clap.

You know what I mean?

I went to the AFC title game.

A couple years ago where the Bengals played the Chiefs and sat in Travis Kelsey's suite.

Because, you know, he's a Cincinnati guy, though.

Yeah.

So a lot of guys are from Cincinnati.

I just sat in the corner.

Sweet.

I was like this.

And they was on me, though, because they knew.

Yeah.

And then when they won, I was like, and then Travis was cool.

I go, God damn it.

Why do you got to be cool?

Yeah, I know.

Fuck.

Yeah, both of them are red.

They're good guys, man.

I like them a lot.

I've been invited to games where they go, hey, don't wear.

the opposing teams like colors and and like you know gear and i was like well i'm not a fucking asshole i know and they go you'd be surprised i can imagine yeah they're like some guys do it like as a badge of honor yeah like i don't give a fuck yeah you know like no i want to be invited back yeah no be cool dude yeah be very cool um dude this was this was a treat i i i i really loved meeting you it's fucking it's been literally 20 years of people being like you know gary right you guys are both from cincinnati i'm like no i don't it's and it it is wild in our business because you just you just think we all know each other yeah and like and it's literally like you said like you look on the calendar and and you're like, oh, he's coming.

Yeah.

Coming in a week.

I won't be here.

Right.

But yeah.

What made you make the move to Austin before we get out of here?

It was the, it was during the pandemic.

I always felt like, you know, I have a lot of, I lived in LA 19 years.

I have a lot of affection for L.A.

There's things I still love about LA.

But like during the pandemic, when it was like chaotic, you know, in the city, I'd never, my wife was, raised like since she moved there when she was two.

She was a lifelong Angelino.

And every time, you know, sometimes you do weekends where, like, I would always get back from like Denver and be like, damn, that was awesome.

Like, I love Denver.

And she'd be like, yeah, we're not going to fucking move there.

Yeah.

And I was like, yeah, okay.

And then it was during the pandemic, everything was shut down, where

as it was progressing, she was like, hey, I'm okay to get out of here.

I was like, for real?

She was like, yeah, like we can do what we do from anywhere.

Let's look.

So I just kind of was like, okay, started to like check out different cities and came here.

This was one of those cities where every time I had been on tour, I would go, oh,

Austin was great.

It was like a great week.

So it was just like on the short list.

There was only like four cities we were considering all over.

Yeah.

And then when she was like, I like this one.

It was kind of like, okay, we're going to look there.

Huh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's been, it's been over four years now.

Yeah.

But you live in Texas?

It's Houston.

What made you choose Houston?

I got, I got a divorce.

How was that?

And I was like, all right, well.

That was leaving where?

Where did you live?

San Francisco, Oakland.

Oh, okay.

So I was like, we had, we still had a house in Cincinnati.

And then we had a house in California, too.

So it was like, I was kind of back and forth.

And then when the divorce happened, I said, all right, I got to be, I need a city with a hub because I'm still flying out just about every week.

I was like,

no state taxes.

I was thinking where I could save money too.

Yeah.

Because, you know, hopefully you'll never have to to go through this, but

them attorneys get in your brain.

You'd be thinking you're about to go broke.

Yeah.

They're like, you have to get out of here.

You can't have a divorce guy in California.

And they'll share all the horror stories.

I was like, all right.

So I just need a place with a hub.

It got down to Phoenix, Dallas, and Houston.

And then I met a chick.

Oh.

And I was like, yeah, I'm going to go to Houston.

Yeah, yeah.

I was like, all right.

That's still the deal on those three cities.

Are you happy there?

You're working out?

I love it.

I mean, obviously, it's like Austin.

The summers are a little rough.

Yeah.

It gets a little hot.

But I mean,

I love it.

It's funny.

I still live the city, got my car broken into.

Yeah.

I still was like, all right, well.

Yeah.

It's all good.

Welcome to the city, baby.

It just happens.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not like Hughes.

But it was like you always thought Dallas, Houston were great stand-up towns.

Yeah.

You know, I always felt like I was tapped in socially with the right friend group.

So I was like, yeah.

This is a good time.

Yeah.

Houston was always...

It was always a good city.

Yeah.

I don't know what it is.

Most urban comics,

that improv is usually the one of their biggest money weekends oh yeah oh yeah it's big it's usually sold out your adding show sometimes yeah you'll see i've i've it's been a while since but i remember being online and being like oh look who's at houston and they're like it's doing 10 shows like this guy's like adding adding adding yeah just yeah you'll kill him keep up yeah i mean also some people don't realize how big of a city that is that's a fucking huge metropolis man oh houston is unreal massive Yeah.

You can be an hour from your friend.

Yeah.

Never see him.

That's what I mean.

Yeah.

You got three comedy clubs in one city.

And it used to be even more, I think.

Like if you go back 20 years.

Yeah.

I think they had like five at one point.

Yeah.

I think we're definitely in a

comedy like

resurgence right now.

I think the

we let the cancer culture have their time.

And we kind of had, all right, we're, I think people are done with that.

And then the ticket sales right now are just through the roof.

That's awesome.

There's so many people.

That's great.

And I'm like, all right, everybody's getting back out there.

Everybody trying to laugh.

Yeah.

Have a good time.

It also means that people are spending money, which is usually encouraging.

It's fun.

Yeah.

I think that's I've always heard like the one the one thing that recession does not affect is stand-up.

Yeah.

Because people still want to spend money to get away from all that shit.

Right.

They want to forget about it.

So when you're reading the news and everything and people are freaking out, we're going, oh, we're still good.

Yeah.

Go see a stand-up show.

Yeah.

And go see Gary if you've never seen him.

GaryOwen.live.

Don't forget to check out No S,

his special available on YouTube.

But there's also, you have like six, seven, I forget how many.

You have so many specials.

I can't tell you.

Yeah.

Well, just

Google them.

Yeah, we got two on YouTube this year.

We got Broken Family and No S came out this year on YouTube.

Incredible, man.

Yeah.

Real pleasure to meet you.

Thanks for watching.

Yeah, yeah, it was fun.

Absolutely.

We'll see you guys next week.

Can you please tell the audience so I can have record that you're impressed with my water consumption?

So who's the water champ?

You're the water champ.

You've been the water champ for as long as I've known you.

Pound in the water, pounding the water.

You've been the water champ for as long as I've known you.

Let's go, let's go, let's go, water champ.

Pound in the water, pound in the water.

Let's go, let's go, let's go, water champ, pound in the water, pound in the water.

That's what I'm talking about.

That's the current water champion.

Tom, gets it.

Running away.

Let's go, let's go, let's go, water champ.

Pound in the water, pound in the water.

You are the water champions.

Pound in the water, pound in the water, water down, water champ.

You're drinking that much water.

peace.

Water and peace at the same time.

Just sipping.

Sometimes he's peeing while he's drinking.

Oddly enough, my wife also competed.

She came last late.

Have you ever seen a Yorkie drink water?

Just my overwhelming urge to consume more water.

You don't understand.

Current water champion.

She don't understand.

Water champ, water, champ.

You don't understand.

Current water champion.

You don't understand.

Water champ, water champ.

Just kept drinking, and no one said a word.

Pound in the water, pounding the water.

Let's go, let's go, go, let's go, water champ, pound in the water, pound the water.

Let's go, let's go, let's go, water champ.

Pound in the water, pound the water.

Is this technically water two?

Let's go, let's go, let's go, water champ.

Let's go, let's go, let's go, water champ.

People would discuss, like, who's the water champ?

Let's go, go, water champ.

Why are the water champions?

I've never seen someone drink so much water during such a short time.

Let's go, water, champ.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Water champ.

Pound in the water.

Pound in the water.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Let's go.

Water champ.

Pound in the water.

Pound in the water.

Let's go.

Water champ.

Let's go.

Water champ.

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