Hellraiser Or Hilarious w/ Doug Bradley (Pinhead) | Your Mom's House Ep. 824

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Hi, mommies. Hi, Jeans.
It's me, the main mommy, and Tommy Salami is still filming in Jew Mexico. He's filming a movie.
So I have a co-host with me today that I am so stoked.

You guys don't even know what you're in for. Please welcome Doug Bradley today as my co-host.
Yeah!

Yeah! Hello, hello, hello. Hi.

It's a great pleasure to be here.

I love you. I am so thrilled that you and your wife came to Austin just to do this.
I really appreciate you. Thank you for inviting us.
And, you know, it's a pleasure to be here. And

as a very wise man once said,

let the conversation begin.

Yes!

Yes!

I bet you didn't know Pinhead is a momma.

You do now.

Let the conversation begin.

Who do you think's creepier,

Pinhead or Garth?

Who's killed more people?

Well, Pinhead, well,

other than

wiping out an entire nightclub full of people in Hellraiser 3,

his known kill count

on screen isn't that high, really.

We'll talk about that.

Yeah.

I agree.

I have so much to get into.

I mean,

with Garth for me, it was back in the day when, because I get asked quite often at Q ⁇ A's, you know, in interviews and fans generally about

what music I like and what I listen to. And I always say it's easier to define myself by what I don't like and what I don't listen to.
And in trying to

make a distinction between being

a huge country music fan,

but it was at the time that the new corporate Nashville sound was emerging, and I called it Big Hat Country, and Garth was the poster boy of Big Hat Country for me, so I used to say, you know, like Garth Brooks,

no.

Wow.

And I mean, I don't, I don't.

What's

Friends in Low Places? That's him, right? Yeah, I've got friends in London. But

I couldn't hum it to you, and I couldn't name really any other Garth Brooks songs. And then

I'm not sure of the chronology

as to when I got shown

the Facebook clip,

which was so weird in so many ways, not least because he gave the impression that someone had just introduced him to the idea of Facebook and he'd never heard of it before.

Do we have it? Can we just

and then I'll do the opening clip. I know what you're saying.
This phony, this faked surprise.

Facebook? What a great idea. Why did nobody think of this? Let's watch it again, just for old time's sake.
So creepy. Well, I guess it's official.
I guess it's official. It's put out on Facebook.

What the? I really wasn't sure about this at the start. Then a friend of mine said something that just made all kinds of sense.

She said, think of it more as a conversation.

I like that. I like that.

I like that.

I like that. Well,

that's amazing. Here, this is a great segue.
I really like that. Yeah, let's get into the opening clip because I really like that too.
Let the conversation begin. Anyone want these old sandals?

You can have them

if you want them.

I don't want them no more. My friend was getting some more sandals.
Oh, and also they come with a a bottle of breast drink, too. Oh, well, I'm so

stupid.

Welcome to your mom's house.

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

Nice long intro.

Oh.

Hold on.

Now

I'm disrobing because I'm

not sure. Show us your shirt.
It's so beautiful. You must.

I only wore the overshirt for the purposes of the reveal. It was such a good reveal, by the way.
I had no idea. You wore a denim shirt, too, to really pay a wash.

Now, as you know, Doug, you're a huge fan of Sex in the City, I'm assuming.

You're sure. Clearly a Miranda.

But anyway, apparently... You know the guy that plays Mr.
Big?

No. Okay.

He's so hot. Is he? You're You're going to like him.
Well, he's like super into me.

Yeah, here it is. He found out that like, I guess Tom isn't here.
He's super cute. Okay, ready? He sent me this video.
It's so weird. Okay, Christina.
You have a podcast. It's called Your Mom's House.

Are you doing it well? Without your husband, Tom. She's killing it with her goth style.
Goth music, the cure, always a great one.

Sexy,

loves goth music. So let's keep Tom away from it for a while and see what happens.

You're going to be doing fine without him. Cheers.

Wow. What do you think? Well,

nice, I suppose.

I don't know, really. I'm very neutral on the subject of Mr.
Big and indeed sex in the city in general.

I never watched it. Can I? Oh, well, you're missing out.
I watch it compulsively.

Can I just point out, this is really interesting. This is very interesting in a celebrity's home when there's a picture of the celebrity hanging in their home.
Positioned.

Very unique choice. Hot choices.
Do you have many photographs of yourself

in your home? I don't have photographs of me.

There are lots of images of Penhead around. Let's look at him for a minute.

I have a sort of

there's steps going down towards the utility room and

basement.

I love this photograph. I keep a lot of stuff on the walls and stuff that fans give me.
I call that a museum. So

this is

Bloodline Hellraiser 4. So it's 1994.

It's late night. That is only water.

We're filming. I always had a leotard underneath the jacket, so I just really just dropped it down off the shoulders.

Oh, that's what that is. For a little decolité moment, dears.
I was going to say, it's the Cennabites.

It's very big. Yes.
So you had a suit, you had a leotard under

the leather heavy. What is it, like an S ⁇ M kind of outfit?

Which, by the way, I have to say, like, let me just fan your skirt up for a moment because, you know, I've been a huge fan of Hellraiser and Clive Barker, Books of Blood, all that stuff since I was a teenager.

And I feel like, you know, anybody can kill people, right? Like Freddy Krueger

and

Jason. I'm sure you're friends with all these guys.
I know them. Yes.
Yeah. You guys hang out and stuff.

Well, at conventions, I wouldn't say we sort of hang out. I made a movie with Robert.
Oh, Robert England. Yes.

Yeah, how was he?

Robert's wonderful. I've known Robert for a very long time.
We made a movie together in in the mid-90s called Killer Tongue. Bring that up, please.

La lingua afacina.

There we are.

We shot it in Spain.

It's awesome. It's one crazy movie.

But it's a lot of fun. I was playing a convict.

And the reason

there's Mindy Clark

is in it as well. That's Mindy

looking very, very sexy in her outfit with her

killer tongue retracted in her mouth. So Robert was playing the chief screw, and I was

a convict

on a chain gang.

And Mindy and her boyfriend had carried out a bank heist and Mindy was pretending to be a nun and she was hiding out in the convent, very heavily pregnant

with her collection of large poodles and then there's a point in the movie

at which an asteroid appears and it it hits Earth's atmosphere and it breaks into lots of pieces.

She's sitting around a table eating soup with her poodles who are all perched on chairs around the table and fragments of the asteroid fly in through windows and land in the soup and the magical properties of the asteroid turn all the poodles into drag queens.

Fuck yeah, this sounds like the best movie ever. This is amazing.
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So we're in a kind of Priscilla in the desert kind of kind of thing

now.

And that's only like the first 10 minutes. That's awesome.
Oh, it sounds, I got to watch this when I get home. I'm going to have surgery tomorrow.

It's completely insane. time completely insane completely insane and there you are

talking of completely insane yeah yeah what so but but

my point being is that i love robert england i love uh uh uh friday the 13th jason let's talk about your your other slayers

Night of the Living, Dead. What's the one? The chainsaw, Texas Chainsaw.
All these guys are scary as shit, right? Like, you don't want to meet any of these bros.

Now, what I love about Pinhead and Hellraiser is that you brought a humanity to this,

you know, this really scary character, which is kind of cool because we got to see that at one point Pinhead was just a person.

And there's, it's all these great themes about desire and greed and lust and these wonderful human themes. And I find that to be so relatable.

Anyway, I mean, it's a testament to you bringing some kind of

human element to this because this is fucking terrifying there you are with rainbow star jesus christ that's uh

you keep asking me questions and then putting images up and we're not with

but so that's um

i was doing publicity uh

for the release of hellraiser 3

So this, I think, is 1992, maybe 92 or 93.

And

Namiramax, in their infinite wisdom, had decided it would be a very cool idea for me to do lots of publicity stuff in makeup and costume, which I didn't think was such a great idea, but they agreed to pay me to do them, at which point it seemed like a better idea.

Of course. So,

this is the MTV Video Awards when they used to film with David Spade

the filmed inserts of celebrities who couldn't get in because they weren't on the list.

And they'd pre-film those and then screen them during the

awards ceremony. And

that year

it was Roseanne,

Andrew Dice Clay,

Ringo.

and Pinhead

who couldn't get in because their names weren't on the list. And

I'd had my makeup and costume applied in my hotel room,

which was a trip too, because on the way down from the hotel room to the lobby,

we're in the elevator going down, and it stopped. And the doors opened, and here's a businessman with, you know, with

his suit and his briefcase.

And he stared at me, and I stared back at him. And then he just went, okay.

This is some weird shit. And took a step back, and the elevator doors closed.
And

down we went. So I arrived in the limo.

You know, it's quite an exciting thing to be doing and get out. The PR girl comes over and says,

you know,

so delighted to have you here today.

It was at UCLA. We're just going to...
bring you into the entrance to the auditorium. Eric Clapton and Elton John are rehearsing at the moment.

Oh, and Ringo's here.

So, you know,

I was

seven, I think,

when the world stopped turning for me for a moment when I first heard Love Me Do on the radio in 1962.

And huge Beatles fan for all of my life from that moment forward.

So my legs have gone to jelly a bit.

And

came around the corner into the entrance to the arena. And Ringo, with this extraordinary turban thing going on, has got his back to me.

And he's talking to a couple of guys who

see me. And then they start

to Ringo.

And he turned round, and

it's one of the proudest moments of my life. He turned round, he looked at me,

and he said,

Hey,

it's Pen Ed.

Oh, that's so cool.

And that picture

was on the front of the Hollywood Reporter the next day. Amazing.
It was great. And I've said often to fans, you know, who say to me, who apologize.

because they're talking gibberish or you know and I my brain and my tongue Homer Simpson style completely disconnected. Of course.

I just talked gibberish to him. Of course.

I'm from Liverpool, too. Yeah.

I do that too.

I believe I actually did say that while I'm thinking, what are you doing?

Did you guys talk about Liverpool?

Honestly, the rest is a blur. Yeah, he just dissociated it.

Yes.

Oh, my gosh.

I think we did, but he's not.

A man of few words. Yeah.

He's got to be used to being seen as like an absolute god. It's arguably the most famous people on the planet are the Beatles.
Right. No, I mean, I was, I was kind of completely.

Oh, I'd be, I'd puke on myself. Hell yeah.

If I ever met Peter Murphy, I'd just puke all over myself or like Robert Smith. That's those are my Beatles.
You know what I mean? Right. Yeah.
So what is it like to be

comedians? We're lucky in that when we meet fans, they're pretty happy to see us.

I think people,

you know what I mean? Like, you're walking around in this wild costume. What is that like? Well, I'm not when fans meet me.
No, no, no, they meet you as

human. Yeah.
But, like, I'm saying, like, even walking around at the MTV Music Awards, that's got to feel weird because you're not really filming a movie.

It does. That

does kind of feel weird because you,

you know, people aren't relating to me and I'm not in character because I'm, it's you know not doing that, um,

but nobody's relating to me, they're relating

to that image and what they see, you know, and all the pinhead jokes come out, you know, the pincushion jokes, let's go, let's hear the dartboard jokes, and you know, all of that. Um,

so

yeah, and and being in sunlight isn't great with the makeup, yeah. Well, as a as a goth of you know, 40 years or so, I know.
Oh, I know.

Well, because

the foam latex is full of little air bubbles. Oh.

And they heat up

slowly. And you don't notice the process until suddenly everything is getting very warm.
Wow. And then it takes a long time to cool down again.

So, yes, it was.

And it was only me and Ringo that day.

I didn't get to encounter Roseanne

which would have been pretty wild, I think.

She would have loved it. Sure.

So, I'm going to ask you all the basic questions that you get asked 40 million times a year. How long does it take to put on the makeup, dude? It's been a pleasure talking to you.

I'm sorry. I know.

How do you come up with your skits, Christine?

Well,

early days, it was about five or six hours. And

then it comes up to about three or four would be

the standard time. That's to get into it and then to get out of it at the end of a day? 30 minutes to an hour.
You just rip it off. Or no, no, they keep it intact because they're using it.
No. No.

Neither of those things.

And I hated the removal much more than the application.

You have to proceed slowly because basically everything is glued to your skin. So you can't just rip it off.
And in particular, in my case,

excuse me.

Oh my gosh. Please don't do that.
What? Just kidding.

I see your microphone over there. I think clearing my throat is the least of our worries.

What was I saying?

Makeup, putting it on and taking it off is

they got to pay you a lot more for that part. Jesus.

they used they used stuff called uh pros aid prostate

prostate pros aid

prosthetic aid i think is is look at you that's uh what year is this this is 1994 it's bloodline

it's this was uh movie magic filmed this and uh gave the impression that this is what pinhead liked to do

um

he liked to.

If you watch carefully, you'll realize that I haven't got a fucking clue how to throw a football.

I don't do American football, but they gave the impression that this is what Pinhead does when he's relaxing on set.

He likes to throw a football around in the parking lot. This Cenobite.

No, he doesn't. Who the fuck is that?

Is that...

Oh, that's Jamie. Right.
Okay. That's from that's from the remake.

The Zulu remake. Oh, okay.
I haven't seen that picture before. So she is a lady.
I could never tell what gender that cenobite was, which is another reason you guys were so ahead of your time.

You had non-binary cenobites.

In some ways, I mean,

you said I was

wearing a skirt. So cool.
It's like an SNM thing.

Gosh, so I read Clive Barker's stuff as a young teenager, and I didn't realize until last year when I reread Books of Blood, because I was in a really dark after,

you know, breast cancer stuff. I was like in the darkest place.
So you turned to the Books of Blood to change yourself up. Yeah, I did.

I don't know what it was, but I was like, I have to read something darker than what's in my head to get me to access that darkness. Do you know what I'm saying?

Like, you have to see something that feels safe to you to be able to deal with those feelings. And so.

I was reading it and a friend of mine was like, hey, you know, Clive Barker, the guy who wrote it's a gay man. And it totally,

you see it as an adult in a totally different way.

Now, this is very recently. Yeah.
This is like a year ago. I was like, oh my God, Clive Barker's a gay dude.
This is like Barry Manalo coming out.

You're like, duh. Well, now look at me.
I'm like, oh, yeah. He was into like leather bond.
That's probably why I liked it because I was a goth kid and I thought stylistically, it's so cool.

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Celebrate 100 years of high-flying dunks, 100 years of show-stopping moves, and 100 years of changing the game. Bring the whole family and be part of the legacy.

This game is once in a century be there at chase center on january 18th go to harlemglobetrotters.com for your tickets to the 100 year tour

you'd you'd read the books of blood in high school as a teenager yeah like so you'd read in the hills the cities

uh i don't know that one okay which one's that is that i've only read the first volume i don't remember everything

rawhead wrecks i i don't remember running order

well you know raw head rawhead wrecks a little little bit of a clue in there as well. Right.
Yes, yes. I didn't put together

like, you know, the eroticism as being gay or whatever. I don't know.
He's not.

Is he a Satanist? What I'm trying to ask you about

is that, is he into sex magic Satanism?

Never mind the being homosexual bit. Is he a Satanist?

Are you a Satanist? Am I a Satanist? Do you get asked? Are you a Satanist? Definitely.

I worship the devil daily. There you guys are.
There we go. Oh, he's cute.
I've never even seen an image of him.

I think that may be on the set of Lord of Illusions. That was a weird night.
I think that may be it. I was doing a night shoot for Hellraiser 4.
Clive was doing a night shoot for Lord of Illusions,

like a few blocks away. And they gave me permission in the middle of the night to go and visit.
Oh.

So I did. I don't think Clive was best amused because it kind of brought his entire filming process to a standstill.
But when you show up in that gear, when Pinhead wandered all true.

So, you guys have a really interesting past together that I didn't even, I was not even aware of. You guys have kind of.
I didn't answer your question, by the way.

Sorry.

No, he's not a Satanist. He's not a Satanist.
And are you, do you worship the devil? Okay. No, I'm

an atheist, so by definition, if I don't believe in God, I can't believe in the devil. Good.
Good reasoning. True story.
Okay, so hold on.

You and Clive go way back. When did you meet him?

1723.

Three o'clock on

1723? On a Monday afternoon,

shortly before America was invented.

I'm not sure of the precise year. It's going to be, pardon for the liquid death noises off

appropriate moment.

I cast in the school play. We're at Quarrybank High School in Liverpool.

Where ten years before that, John Lennon was a pupil.

I got cast in the school play, so I'm told to report to rehearsals, which I did, and met my fellow cast members, which included Fellomilad.

So,

and that's

you know, I've said, and it's true, really, that was the day that changed my life. Clive was already writing, starring in, directing,

hand-drawing the posters for his own plays at school, which the head teacher used to give him permission to take over the school hall and put these plays on. And I got drawn into that orbit.

But isn't that amazing? Sorry, just for a minute, that your friends at that age are so seminal to who you become.

Like, had you not met Clive and had you not gotten weird with him, we wouldn't be sitting here today.

You know, had I not met my weirdo friends at 15 and they're like, you should listen to this music or you should read this book or you should go here. And then that's how the Beatles met, right?

Like in high school.

A lot of people met in high school back in the day. No.
So anyway, continue. So you're with Clive and that's where you two formed, right?

Adam Clayton

put a notice on the school notice board, drummer looking for people to be in the band. Wild, right? And the other three were at school with him, and they all said, hey, yeah.

What is it about British schools?

Well, that was an Irish school.

Oh, you were an Irish school. Yes, you have to make a sharp distinction

between

a long no

and the Republic of Ireland or you'll start a war. Oh, I know.

Oh, that was in 1992 at the unveiling

at the Hollywood Wax Museum. Okay.

So is that not actually me? It may not be, actually. That's so weird.

That may be a wax dummy of me. I thought I looked a bit weird.

It looks really good, though, for now.

The costume doesn't look quite right.

Oh.

What is that like to look at a photograph of yourself and go, that's not me? Don't realize it isn't.

That's just a statue of me in this wacky costume.

So people always assume that you are this guy, right? That you are

a torturous demon from hell when they meet you?

I don't know. That would be for people

to answer. Yeah.

But people are, you know,

there's

it's the fun of the distinction between me and the character, you know, that that's always there. It's always there, but that's true for any

entertainment. entertainer.
Yeah. You know, the distinct for

you,

when you're on stage. Of course.
With, you know, you're the microphone.

You are in

character as Christina P,

and that's what you're presenting.

And then if people see you in the supermarket the next day, you know, it's

weird.

Which people, you know, I've had people say to me, you know, what are you doing here?

They don't have HEB inhale.

I eat food. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, but why are you here? It's fucking wild.

I've had people say that to me, too. Like, wait, you carry a backpack? Somebody said that to me while I was in the airplane.
They're like, you have a backpack? I was like, yeah, dude.

Like, I'm still an idiot. I'm still just a human.
But we just shamble around doing everyday things when farting into microphones, dude.

But I think it's such an important,

it's such an important function. I'm farting with you.

I've never knowingly farted into a microphone. Well, it's your first time.

If I feel the need to fart, I'll I'll ask you for the microphone.

This would be the greatest day ever if Tug Bradley farted into my fart mic. Because then I can show my husband, like, see, celebrities love the fart mic, babe.
Okay.

You'd be like the first celebrity to fart. Is he appalled by a fart mic? Yeah.
He doesn't want to give the people what they want. I know what the people want, and I want the fart mic too.
Okay.

Such a fucking bullshit. But what I was going to say is,

It's such an important function that horror has in society. And I think you play a really all monsters.
And you've even written a book about masks and the function and right of...

Say a little bit about that. I know this book you wrote was based on a talk you gave.
Yeah,

it started as an illustrated lecture.

And

then it was suggested to me that it should be a book, which was cool because it was always very, very difficult for me to

squeeze all the material down into you know an hour for this illustrated lecture um and it was still difficult for me to squeeze everything down into the book so i

part of the thing that drew me into

playing pinhead

in the interim after after school and pinhead and that's it's the best part of like 15 years in between

um we had done a lot of theatre work together and we had done a lot of masking

work

in the theatre work.

And so there was always a fascination with that process.

And

as soon as I got into horror, it was very much, you know, those performances that were the most intriguing.

Boris Karloff

in Frankenstein, obviously, and then discovering

Lonchaney Sr. and so on and so forth.
So, in the book, I started by talking a little bit about

the whole cultural history of masking, because it seems as though there's not any culture, anywhere, any time, any place that did not incorporate masking, either

in a context of war, or in a context of religion, or in some function in daily life.

And in particular, to elevate yourself out of the human away from the human and in the in the moment of putting a mask on you cease to be that human being and you you become the thing

that that the mask yes presents yes to the world it's the image it's the persona

and that's what persona means

and then

I talked about how,

you know, we tend to talk about theatre being born in the sacred groves behind the

Acropolis, the groves that were involved in the worship of Dionysus. Theatre seems to be born there, and Greek theatre grows out of that.
In Greek theatre, every single actor was masked.

No actor in Greek theatre ever went on stage as themselves. And these were fixed, rigid masks that presented a persona, a character.

And you would recognize, the audience would recognise immediately from the mask who this person was and what their function was. And

there's also a suggestion that they always have very kind of exaggerated mouthpieces like that.

And it's suggested that this may also have served the function of helping to, you know, like a like a loud hailer, project the voice

out

into the amphitheatre. I talked about no theatre in Japan, which is all masked kabuki theatre in Japan as well.

And then I took it into

horror movies, which it seemed to me is where the legacy gets carried forward in the 20th century. gods and demons and magic and transformation.

And so

wanted to talk specifically about the actor's relationship to the makeup.

Lon Cheney Sr. was like a it was like a calling for him.
You know, he made his own makeups. He applied the makeups himself.

And no other actor has done that.

You might not be

he was, I mean, look at that. And he did, he, all of that he did himself.
Are you kidding me? All of that he did himself. He's so iconic, this guy.

And he wouldn't let any of his secrets away.

He wouldn't talk about it. And he refused to answer fan mail.
Everything went in the bin.

Nothing. There are a couple of staged pictures of him with his makeup kit.
It's very theatrical, a lot of his makeup, because he started in vaudeville and that was where he learned.

You see the picture there of him with his with the makeup box, which I think

you can see in the Los Angeles County Museum.

But that's that's a

staged picture. Nobody ever got near him when

he was doing his makeups.

And then you've, you know, you have like Charles Lawton playing the hunchback of Notre Dame,

who had a very, very bad relationship with his makeup artist.

And

Boris Karloff and Jack Pierce, very, very close relationship

working on Frankenstein and

also the mummy.

That's Jack Pierce working in his looks like a dentist, doesn't he? It's amazing.

Working on Karloff.

Wow, do you realize you're like an iconic monster?

Well, I do.

So great.

I have to,

you know, because it's just because it's incontrovertible. We all all are, all the people we've been talking about, Robert and Kane and

Gunnar Hansen,

the late Gunnar Hansen, who played the first Leatherface so memorably and so brilliantly. Terrifying.

We are.

We have left our indelible mark on horror cinema. I mean, it's very difficult for me to put myself in the same company as Boris.

Oh, you you are yeah let me tell you i had to walk out of hellbound hellraiser 2 when i was 13 years old i had to leave that's how traumatized i was cool so cool i've never walked out of a film because i was that afraid my stepsister and i snuck in you know we were too young to be in it 13 i was 13 years old and there was skin was that 88 it was 1942

yeah it was r

and it's the first time i think it was julia coming out of the mattress that's a scene holy man. That's full on, that one.
And I've never seen anything like that before.

And then you show up. Oh, Julia.
Oh, my God. It still terrifies me.

It's wild.

It is wild. There's nothing like this.
It's all

the cutting of the arm, Oliver Smith.

Get him off, man. Who played skinned Frank in Hellraiser?

He's back.

Yes.

For that. And you've got all of that.
And

that's quite difficult to deal with. And

it's only a kind of

appetizer

for Julia emerging from the mattress. It's pretty wild.
Spoiler alert, if you haven't seen this movie, came out in 1988. We can talk about it, right, Josh? I always get into trouble.

But yeah, it gets way crazier. And I just re-watched it before you came to Austin just to re-terrify myself.
And it's still, I think because you have the themes of mental illness and Dr.

Chenard and KSD

but my oh no don't even say it can I tell you my favorite line

why when I really started to love pinhead and I was like oh this character's different this guy's got some humanity this is deeper than just slash bullshit stuff you know what I'm saying like is when Tiffany unlocks the box and summons the Cenobites and then they all come out and you're last and you go, no!

And then the lady with the thing goes, no, and you go, no.

It is not hands that call us, it is desire. Desire!

I just got diarrhea having you do that to me right now. Yeah.

Oh, I got a fart mic. Yeah, I got a fucking shit in the mic, man.
Well,

you're stressing me out, Doug. Yeah, that's so like a...

Oh, man. Well, you see,

you

were saying earlier is very true because Leatherface doesn't speak. No, he kind of

makes piggy noises beautifully, but brilliantly done by Gunnar, but he doesn't speak.

Michael doesn't speak. Jason doesn't speak.
Freddy does, but he just calls everybody a bitch. Yeah.

He talks some shit and he haunts your dreams, which is terrifying. And I've always said that, you know, Freddy is rock and roll.
If Freddy is rock and roll, Pinhead is a requiem mass

that's that that's where he belongs and what you said about

what I channel with the character that's all down to Clive that's all down to Clive

but

those ideas of humanity and those those lines those resonating lines

no tears please it's a waste of good suffering and your suffering will be legendary even in hell, and we'll tear your soul apart, and all of that.

That is all from Clive. I mean,

I'm not engaging in false modesty at all. Yes, that's my performance, and I did what I did with it, and obviously, I seem to have done something right.
But

the material comes from

Clive. I mean, I changed not one word of what he wrote.
And the thing for me was because

obviously I'd also

had a front row seat

for that 15 years to all of Clive's creativity.

Oh, how dare you? I had a Belchmike.

We're going to need a Belchmike. Well, this is the Belchmike.

The plays,

the kind of juvenilia movies that he was making, the short stories,

and the endless, endless art, the constant art, the drawing every single day of his life. I saw all of that, and particularly in the writing,

as you know from the Books of Blood, he naturally

has

quite a high poetic style. It's very easy to read.

But

I would make a comparison comparison to Poe, who does the same thing. But that's naturally Clive's writing style.
So when I started reading the Hellraiser screenplay,

the first thing that struck me was how he was kind of almost writing down

because he had to. He's kind of writing in movie ease, which is not necessarily...
the way that he would normally be writing. And I was very aware that

Pinhead arrived and started to speak, I felt like Clive was going, thank fuck for that. And

he was taking the handbrake off and let it rip. Yeah.

So the language he employs for Pinhead

is

completely different from the way that anybody else in the movie speaks. So I have those lines, that language, that costume, that makeup, you know.

No.

What's your...

I mean, it's haunting it's truly but but you're right because it is such a scene stealer you you just want to watch Pinhead talk you're like what's he gonna say? What's he gonna do? Is he gonna kill?

What's he gonna do? Uh what can I ask you like the stupidest question like Chris Farley type

Remember

when you were in that band?

I feel like that's what this interview is that great yeah no it's it's the fucking it's the best um go on you couldn't ask

a stupid question.

So, um,

you use a hot one.

I, um,

what accent does Pinhead have in correlation? Like, what part of England is he from? If you have to, because I don't think you're doing like a Liverpool accent, right? Like,

scouse Pinhead. I'll tear your fucking soul apart, lads.
I'll tell you now.

You're suffering, it'll be fucking legendary, even in hell. It's a totally different movie.
And everybody gets a pint. It would be.
Yeah. Yeah.
Totally different. You know what I mean?

Like, you know what I mean? Like.

No, that's. Oh, yeah.
I do like Australian. You said.
Well, you go cockney. Like.
Like, cockney. Like, not like.
Oh, oh, yeah. Like.
Like.

Like. Like.
You know what I mean? Like. You know what I mean? Like.

Yeah. Well, Gavna, what's

Gavna? Oh, for fuck's sake, no tears, please. Oh, for fuck's sake.

It's a waste of God's suffering. Come on.

Save that suffering for later.

So cool, man. We just rewrote this.

Yeah. No, I'm not sure that would have worked.
No.

No.

I don't know.

It's just my voice. It's your voice.
And it's special. I want to share.
I didn't vote. I wasn't.
Well, I mean, by definition.

He's countryless, stateless, you know,

he has no social place. He has no, he is, he is,

you know, he's kind of in abeyance as a being. So

there's no geographical or cultural location for him.

Well, other than hell. Hell, yeah.

A.K.A. Hell, his address, H.E.
double honky sticks.

I just want to show this photograph. Is this you and Clive?

As babies?

Look at you two.

And your lovely wife, Steph, sent this to me. Right.

And

I thought this was really cool. Can you talk about that a little bit?

Sure.

So

it's 1976. We're in Liverpool.

So

I'm 21.

How about that? Fuck me. I know.

So

we're almost 50 years on because I turn

71 in a few weeks.

And for those people who know their Liverpool geography,

looking through the window, we're looking out on Belvedere Road. And

it was a point where Clive was kind of ramping up filming on the Forbidden again,

which was a...

a thing that was rolling around for a few years and it it it rolled on for a few years beyond that. It started out as an adaptation of

Christopher Marlowe's Dr. Faustus,

the play,

to make that as an adaptation for a film. Even by this time, it's become something completely

different.

And we're in a flat that two two uh two people who were both at Quarry Bank

and were part of the group that had constellated around

Clive.

This was their flat and they'd agreed to let Clive use a room in the flat, as we call them in England, apartment.

And it was completely painted black and that

the circuit, the the circles on the window, Clive had put that in there because he wanted sunlight to come in through the window with those patterns.

And we'd painted the floorboard, we'd stripped the room back to bare floorboards and painted those

either white or alternately black and white.

What you're seeing on the edge is

the nail board,

as I call it, and this was purely a visual idea that Clive wanted to explore in the film. So I have to always think this

backwards.

He's got a piece of wood and he's painted it white and he's put a gridiron pattern on it

in black

and then at each intersection

he's put in a nail, a big thick, like a six inch, nine inch nail, big

chunky nail,

and then just filming it flat on and swinging a light

in front of it so that the shadows of the nails moved across the board like a sundial.

But then developing it in negative

so that now the nails appear as kind of ghostly grey things.

The

the shadows are now white shadows

on a black background with a white gridiron and

the shadows are white which shadows ought not to be and they're moving backwards and forwards on on the the nailboard that's crazy that's it it's just it's just a visual idea

it's one of one of one of the One of the keys to the way that

Clive works, always worked with his imagination. There are lots of examples of this.
Nothing's ever wasted. Nothing's ever forgotten.
Everything's always in there.

So as I say, this is 1976.

Nine years later,

in

no, ten years later. 1986, we're turning the cameras on Hellraiser and Clive has has anthropomorphized the nailboard, and it's become

the character who had no name, who became

known as Pinhead. It's a wild.
None of the Cennobytes have had any name,

right?

In my own head,

Pinhead doesn't.

It was the Special Effects Makeup crew who gave us the names when they were prepping the film, because I'm lead Cennobyte, and then there's I, you know, was chattering Cennobite, yeah, the chatterbox.

I didn't like that guy either.

The fat cennobite and the female cenobite, they needed names, but when they were working on the makeups in the in the workshop, you know, yeah, I'm are you working on the lead cennobite today?

You know, it's a bit so they gave us the

names were their nicknames for us. That's amazing, Pinhead, Butterball, Chatterer, and the female Cennobyte was called Deep Throat.

I didn't know that.

Which

may be the reason why she continued to be credited as the female Cenobite.

But so in the preparation of the film, they had all been talking about

Pinhead and Butterball and Chatterer. And so when we went on set,

those were the names that were being used

and they just they they they stuck so that by by the time

certainly hellbound came out the press were talking about pinhead

but but in in my mind he he he has no name nobody ever called him pinhead in the movies he was called a pinhead but as human but that's a different a different thing what was his name as a human uh spencer elliott captain in the cabin in the british Army in the First World War.

Old timey.

When we see him at the beginning of Hellbound, it's

probably 1921.

He stayed in the British Army and

he would be...

The reason that we see him in tropical uniform is that he's probably now

engaged in putting down the Indian mutinies in the early 1920s. There it is.
You get a little clue with the voice on the radio,

which is talking in,

say, Indian, that's ridiculous, there's no such language, but whatever Urdu or Hindi or whatever language it is that you hear, which is just a little clue as to where we are. Not English, am I right?

And there is his pith helmet. There is the pith helmet.
And that's why he's got a pith helmet because

he's

out in India. And there would have been

scenes preceding this

of him in an Indian street bazaar

making his way looking for the place that he's been told sells Lament configurations. The puzzle box.
And then he would have gone in, and then you would have had the standard

Hellraiser transaction.

Yeah,

what's it worth and all of that

inside? Now,

we'd had a big bump up in budget from Hellraiser to Hellbound, but then there was a financial crisis. And

as the money was being moved from

Los Angeles to London, the exchange rates went crazy and wiped about a third off the budget by the time the money was in London.

And New World

couldn't make up

the money. There was even talk about postponing filming until things settled down a bit, but we went ahead.

And so, those two scenes prior to this moment,

which

really only became so hard to watch, I still can't. Only because they

would have required

two sets building and they're only establishing scenes. Yeah, yeah, you don't need to do that for an establishing scene.
They went, which was a shame.

That would have been nice, but you know,

fuck, I forgot. It was about him.
Oh, I read the novella that that story is based on. The Hellbound Heart.
Yes.

And I didn't even realize this before because I was always like, well, why do these people want to go to hell? What the hell is wrong? What's wrong with you? What is that?

And in that book, The Hellbound Heart, right? So think of it. They're promising him, they kind of trick him, the Cenobites.
They're like, he's assuming he's going to get like lady.

Well, that's what everybody assumes. That's what that's what Frank assumes

in Hellraiser.

And again, the difference

to

the other movies around at the time are

Pinhead is not a boogeyman.

He's not hiding around the corners in the shadows waiting to jump you.

There's a whole process here.

You have to be

somewhere fucked up enough in your head that

you become aware of the existence of this thing called the Le Men configuration

and the promise that it's going to give you something beyond. And Frank has the line, it's never enough.
It's never enough.

And for him, that's all about, you know, sex and drugs, no matter how much sex he does, no matter how many

quantities of drugs he takes, it's never enough.

And the Cenobites, the box seem to promise something beyond.

That's Dr. Faustus.
That's straight out of Faustus. It's straight out of Marlowe again, where he says

it's not sex and drugs and rock and roll

in Elizabethan England.

Faustus is saying, he's studied everything.

He's studied the philosophers. He's studied natural history.
He's studied theology. He's studied the natural sciences.
He studied everything.

And it's not enough. Is that all there is? It's not giving him the answers.
And that's when Mephistopheles appears and says, I can help you with that

for a price.

Your soul.

And so that's, you know, that it's a Faustian bargain. But so

you have to have the motivation to want to find a lament configuration i don't know how you know you can't just you know i don't know whether now you could go on amazon i've got one in my

configuration

i got it on etsy uh it lights up though um

and you have to obtain it work out how to open it solve the damn thing with the right motivation it is not hands that call us right and then and only then will you meet the centabytes but as you say in the hellbound heart

that's what that's what frank assumes. That it's going to be horny.
Good times. What Clive does so brilliantly in The Hellbound Heart is that what Frank gets is he gets everything.

He gets everything. Yes.
All at once, all at the same time.

You know,

he's coming all over the floorboards. He's got

every song, every piece of music he's ever heard in his life in his ears all at the same time.

all the conversations he's been engaged in and and every conversation he's overheard it's all happening to him all at the same time and he Clive says you know he could he could feel

every every breath he can feel at the in his throat every dust moat on his skin he's aware of he's hyper aware of

and it's insanity and he's screaming and begging for it to stop

and then it does, and he's lying on a heap in a heap on the floor.

And the female Cenobite is watching him in a very rude kind of way.

Brilliantly described by Clive in the Hellbound Heart.

She's just watching him, and

she's got her legs spread, showing everything with these tongues

from that Frank has no doubt belonged to people that she has killed, laid out on her thighs.

And she just looks at him and says, so you've you've finished dreaming. Good.

Now we can play,

which becomes time to play in the movies. And

that's the kickstart to the Hellbound Heart. Fucks me up, yeah.
Right? Like, do you just feel fucked up just hearing that?

But it's a cautionary tale, and it's also about like the hedonic treadmill that you can one can get on instead of just being still and being like yeah dude you know it's kind of like i want to tell my dad like there's only so many bitches you can fuck there's only so many stepmoms i can have right you're right this is the this is the story of like

It's never enough.

You've got to find peace and calm.

It's not out there. Nothing is out there.
It's an inside job.

But it's our curse, isn't it? Yeah, of course. We're humans.
It's never enough sucks that we

we always want to, you know,

we see a mountain, we want to climb the mountain, so we climb the mountain, and there's another mountain. Yeah, so now we have to climb

the mountain, and oh, look, there's another mountain. So here we go.

I don't know who was it, who was it said that what's up, what's out there? Yeah, more.

We'd better build a rocket and go and find out, hadn't we?

We have that this insatiable curiosity. You know,

whales, we know are hugely

hugely intelligent i just read this thing about

from

uh

studying whale song they've worked out this process that when whales are migrating they're sometimes not quite sure which way they should go you know like us in cars before gps

do we

do we do we go straight on here or do we make a do we fred do you remember last year did we go straight well I think we turned left I don't think so I think we were and they will keep this conversation going between themselves

for long periods of time and they won't make a decision until every every whale in the pod has reached an agreement and which by the sounds they're making are kind of coming together and then they make their decision to go they're hugely social hugely intelligent

and apparently perfectly content to be whales in the ocean. They come out and breach.
So

they obviously have an awareness that there's this other

place up here,

but they don't have the desire to go and build machines

to take themselves out

to go and explore.

There isn't a whale yet who said,

Bob, you know, when we breach, when we do that jumping up in the air thing, and all the people on the boats take photographs of us,

you want to go and join them and you know, find out what they're up to, see what they're doing. I know.
I know it's it's like they're they don't have that. They don't have that.

Well, yeah, I know someone once said to me, like, you know what the reward is for being a successful comedian? Just more work.

The reward is for being successful. You just do more of the same shit.
Do it harder, faster, again and again and again. And yeah,

when's your next special out there? Oh, fuck off. Who cares?

Who cares?

Listen, I want to do one thing with you since you're from Liverpool. And by the way, I think we have to thank your son, Sage,

for hooking us up. Shout out to you.
My stepson. Yeah.
Steph's stepson. Absolutely.

Sage.

Thank you because he made you aware of your mom's house. Well, he made super mommy.
He made his mom aware of your mom's house.

He's hugely into comedy, massively into comedy.

And he's been listening to Joe Rogan for forever, which

I think is a wonderful thing because he is of the generation that doesn't read. Yeah.

You know, he's of, is it maybe the first generation of Americans who will not have read

Tom Sawyer,

will not have read Huckleberry Finn

and probably never will.

What Rogan has done is he's introduced him to the marketplace of ideas. He's introduced him to this place where people do this

sit and exchange ideas in a civilized manner. So Sage,

Sage is hugely into

comedy. Well, he's got to come out to Austin.
And also,

he had started listening to YMH, and he said to his mom,

you've got to watch this, your mom's house, because the chick is on there.

She's kind of like

a bit like you.

So Steph started watching, and then from time to time, she'd show me...

clips of you know of the craziness yeah and that's when we started interacting on instagram a little bit and i was like no no way, this guy's fucking crazy. This guy likes us.

I didn't think Pinhead had a sense of humor, but he does.

Okay, so you're from Liverpool, and I need you to help me decipher what's happening here. You think you could translate some of this? I'll try.
Sometimes when I go back to Liverpool now, because

they did this survey recently on regional accents in Britain, and they

they they concluded that regional accents are kind of merging, that they're they're softening, they're losing their edge.

You know, it used to be you could go from one village to another village only a few miles down the road,

and

the language and the dialect would change slightly, you know, in an age when 10 miles was a long way and it, you know, it was a big deal to make a journey from there to there.

And this was generally true around the country, except in Liverpool, where the accent was getting stronger, was getting more severe.

So sometimes when I'm back in Liverpool, I hear people speaking, and I think,

I have no idea what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, well, listen to this, see if you can help me, okay? I'll do my best.

Obviously, you don't kind of work in there.

How do you reckon? So, how do I deposit it?

Press the spacebar market.

I'm retarded.

So, if you go back to the beginning,

they're talking about football. Okay.
Soccer. Soccer.

So

the first bit is:

how do you reckon we're going to get on this year, lad?

I think we're going to go to Wembley again.

I think that's the first two lines. And then I.

One more time?

Obviously, you're not going to win. We're going to beat his odds or leave like a lot of on what makes you so.
Right,

you're gonna be aware of the rest. So he's

he's an Evertonian. The guy in the blue supports Everton, and the guy in the red supports Liverpool and he's saying

I think you're gonna win with

order and gotta leave play at Argonaut.

You're gonna draw and get a replay at our ground. Show me how to pause it.
Hold on, let Tom chastise me a little bit. Oh,

Bells, Bellevue. Bellos is dead.

Wow. Okay, let's.
So

we know we're talking about

football. Yes, so it's

how do you reckon we're going to get on lad

is is the first line. I think he's going to go to Wembley again.
And then

I would guess maybe Liverpool and Everton have played

an FA Cup game, a knockout game at Anfield.

And so I think the Evertonian is then saying, I think you're going to get a draw and a replay at our ground.

But it's very, very flat and it's very quick. Well, do you reckon we're going to get on that?

The user going on to Wembley again. The user going to get a draw at your ground and then get a replay at our place.

What makes you say that? Because we've done it last game, ba, two weeks ago. What's ba? Ba.
I don't know what that is. About two weeks ago, maybe?

Because we've done it about two weeks ago, might be.

About.

Okay, let's go to the next clip to put it in here.

You didn't park the bus, you played Galaxy. Park the bus.

We played...

Park the bus is

that means

you were being very, very defensive.

So you're going into the game to protect nil-nil.

to not concede.

So effectively the idea is you've

parked a bus in front of the goal. Oh, got it, got it, got it.
So they can't do the... Okay, got it.

Bosses fucking.

Parked the bus.

Users celebrating ladder like user just won the World Cup.

You nail that, by the way. I just, you know, Jack Bradley.
We do. That's the thing with Evertonians.
They get a fucking draw. They think they've won.
You know, that's the truth of it. Okay.

They did last season. They beat us to all at Goodison.
And they were.

No,

it was late on, you know, in our inexorable march to winning the title for the 20th time. We drew two all at Goodison against Evaton.
And then... Yeah, you're speaking.

It's like Chinese, the good old Levisted. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

So that's what he's saying.

Use.

Got a draw and use a celebrating like he'd won the World Cup. Okay.
That was really good. Try this guy, okay? You did that one really, really well.

This one is probably

the hardest in YMH history.

And we're here in Killarney because we've been invited by a very special character. I hear he's a local legend and a special.

Sham, how are you?

We're here in Killarney today.

Are you from Killarney?

Born and bred. Born and bred in Killarna.

Born and bred in Kalani.

So it's a place that we would know as Kalani. I mean, I'm not, it's...
This is,

I'm out of my depth here, but

he's pronouncing Kalani as Kalani. Kalani.
Kalani. Barn and bred and Kalani.
Okay.

With not very many teeth in his head, which doesn't help. But

I think the guy interviewing him, who is Irish, I think he's struggling a bit. Well, they all are.
Okay, so let's keep going. What's your favourite thing about Killarney? Timmy Connor, my best singer.

Good player.

Good player. Somebody's a good player.
Oh, yes.

He may be called O'Connor. I think I may have caught that.
O'Connor, the player is O'Connor? Maybe. Yeah.
I wouldn't. I don't.

Otherwise, I have not got a clue.

Not a clue.

Okay.

And then this is your regular spot. We're in O'Connor's bar.

Oh, we're in O'Connor's bar.

Oh! I moved around.

You moved around a lot. I made Lady Jack up.

He did what?

I don't know.

I'm not a bit worried about that one. This guy's.
And there's the harsh racing going on in the background. Oh, yeah.

On the television.

The horses. I fucking hate horses.
I know you hate horses. I don't wanna fucking doubt horses.
They love them.

They fucking hate them. They love the horses.
I wish they would all fucking die. I love the horses.
I wish they would all get murdered system. That's a natural thing to say.

Well, I don't give a shit. What does a horse ever done to you? They've stepped on me.
They make bad smells. Well, get out of the way.
I don't fucking like them.

You have a fart microphone, and you're complaining about horses making bad smells.

Okay, one last.

Tell me if you can like decipher what the fuck is that. From where I was sitting, that looked to me like a terrible gold

pause.

Hold on, that guy's the first game of the season.

This is North London.

This is actually the area of London that I lived in for 30 years.

And it's Arsenal.

The guy interviewing at the beginning, he's saying, now,

the North London accent has become become something very, very specific because it has absorbed an awful lot of influences from waves of immigration.

The guy doing the interviewing looks to me as though he may be of

British Caribbean background, and the guy that's being interviewed looks as though he may be of Middle Eastern extraction. I'm guessing wildly.
The guy in the middle is looks,

you know, English.

And

the accent has absorbed all those elements. You can hear how

he has a very...

The guy on the right, the scarf around his neck, he's got a very, very

pronounced North London accent. And

you've also

a lot of Greeks and then

Turkish people coming in. and they've all brought their own inflections: Indian,

Bangladeshis, Pakistanis, and it's become very much a soup. So, you're getting you're getting

looked to me like a basic goalkeeping error. You gotta hear this.
And I can't quite.

I need my, I'll call my daughter. She can

she understands this lingo a bit better than I do. This is so funny.

You understand? I'm not saying that.

He keeps calling him blood.

Motivation blood.

Motivation Motivation blood, you hear

how that's almost like a Caribbean note in that

motivation blood.

What's he doing, blood? What's he doing? So, blood is like, bro.

What did he do, blood? What did he even do? What are they doing in the board, blood? What are they doing? I'm not the only man getting mad, you know, blood. Everyone's mad here, fam.
You understand?

Come here and waste their money, blood. You understand? Every week, blood.
You understand? The most expensive season ticket, blood. We ain't won a London derby this year, fam.
We ain't won a dude.

We won a London Derby this year, blood. That's Arsenal playing Spur or playing other teams from London.

Who else have we done? Who? No one, fam. This team is dead, fam.
No one, fam.

Who's done who? Who?

No one, Blood.

No one, Blad.

We come here every week. Set a man go home and away, blood.
Set a man go Europe for this blood. Fam, come on, man.
Set the man go Europe. Do you see that?

That's like a Jamaican

thing. I love it.
It's like a patois, right? Is that the word? I don't even know. And it's so it's this.
It's this

it is an unimaginable melting pot

in London. And

all those linguistic elements have

found their way into

the accent. Yeah, it is becoming way more diverse in London.

Wow. Thank you so much for joining.
Also, just know that.

Doug does these conventions where you can actually talk to him and he's so sweet. You're so kind with your fans, and you spend time with people talking to people, and I think that's lovely.

So, people can see you at a horror convention. Sure, where am I going to be next? In September, I'll be in

Albuquerque. Oh.

I don't have my phone on me, so I can't check the dates to be precise. But in September, I'll be in Albuquerque and also

at a convention called Silver Scream, which is in Worcester, Massachusetts. Worcester.

Worcester. Worcester.

That's like

an hour out of Boston. Okay.
Worcester.

And in October,

I will be

in Lexington, Kentucky. Oh, Sexy Lexington.
Also, check him out on YouTube.

Doug does this great thing where he reads Christmas stories.

Well, and Christmas, I do. Yeah, I love that.
The rest of the year I don't read. I think you would all year, though.
You just want me to read Christmas stories all the time?

I would love to hear your cool accent. Check him out on YouTube also.

You should join us. I read talk.
I read classic horror stories. I love them.

It's a thing I've always done.

Steph, you know, thinks I'm slightly mad because I'm always reading to myself. aloud.
But I always... That's fun.
I always did that since I was a boy. So it was, you know, kind of a a

lockdown thing, and it was Sir Patrick Stewart who gave me the kind of idea for it because during lockdown,

he did this great thing of reading a Shakespeare sonnet every day and going through Shakespeare's complete sonnet cycle. And he's just sitting in an armchair.

See, there's me reading a Halloween story. I love that.
Not just a Christmas story. I love that.

I want you on TikTok. But the first one is a Christmas story because a pinhead puts his Santa hat on for Christmas.
I love that.

So those are on there. And there's also, I recorded a huge cycle of classic horror stories called Spine Chillers, which you can buy at the store on my website.
So dougbradley.com forward slash store.

Ignore the website because it's horribly out of date and I'm faintly embarrassed by it.

Just go to the store. I like it.
got some. Is that a severed hand? I like it.
And that's cool. Shit.

Hey, man, I like it.

Well, awesome. So they can check out your website and find all that stuff.

Thank you so much again for coming to Austin.

Not at all. Thank you so much.
This has been

beyond a pleasure. It's been so fun.

It's been so fun. And I just want to leave on this.

You understand?

blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood, blood. You also have to understand that these are Arsenal fans.

And, you know,

I do seriously think that being an Arsenal fan should be classified as a mental disorder. They're not.

They're not normal. They're not quite right in the head.
They don't perceive reality quite as you and I do.

They do not. Well, on that note, they're very troubled individuals.
I'm so sorry if you're an Arsenal fan.

Liverpool. Thank you so much.
All right, mommies.

Just a quick note, you won't see me for quite a while. I'm going to have my top surgery tomorrow.
I'm so nervous. They're going to take the fat from my belly and they're going to make boobs.

And, you know, I've had so many pairs of boobs now. I'm like triple trans at this point.
I don't know what I'm considered. But next time you see me, I'll have a new rack.

I'm going to go for cute little French girl titties because they still can gain, you can still gain weight because it's your belly fat.

But I'll be out for like, gosh, I don't know, maybe six weeks, I hope. So next time I'm going to be able to do that.
What happens?

Will I get big black tits? I hope so. What if I wake up? Well, only if you've got a big black belly, presumably.

What if I'm like, I want big black ones? It doesn't mean this.

Wouldn't that be fun? Or I show her a picture. She's like, because your surgeon's like, what kind of tits do you want? And I actually did find a picture of a black woman.
And I was like,

but my surgeon's black too. So I didn't want to sound racist and be like, can I just have the boobs, but not the color?

Do these come in another color? Yeah, can we do this in a lighter hue? But I really like the shape of these.

What?

But

so won't you have two sort of conical-shaped holes in your belly? Oh, no. So two boob-shaped holes.
Can we do this real fast and then we'll get out? You got to see it. It's called the deep flap.

D-I-E-P. I'm sorry.
Flap.

No, don't be. You're going to throw up.
Hey, I get to horrify.

Oh!

Oh!

This is a dream. Okay, so pull up like drawings or images of it.
This surgery, first of all, it's going to take two plastic surgeons to do it simultaneously. It's a 10-hour surgery.

So they take the fat from my belly because I don't have tits anymore. There's just bags of, you know, it's just implant because I had a double mastectomy.
So they'll take the fat from my belly.

They cut, they carve it out like that. God, it's so hellraisery.
And then they're gonna put it in my tit. They're gonna rip the skin off of it and put the fat in my boob and then zip it up.
And then

I'll have a few revision surgeries, I guess. And then they give you a tummy tuck.
Sorry, long story short,

they'll tuck my tummy. So I'll have a flat stomach for the first time since I was 12 years old, which is going to be really exciting for me.

And you don't gain weight in your stomach again because they take out all the fat cells, which is cool. But I can still gain weight in my boobs because it's belly fat.

Yeah, there's the live live pictures. Does that gross you out or are you immune to it because you're pinhead? When you look at those bloody photos?

I don't think it's anything to do with being pinhead.

It's staggering. It really is.
I'm not grossed out by it, but I had

no idea that this was a thing. Yeah.
That's astonishing. It's astonishing.
And they used to, when you had a double mastectomy, they used to just take everything and leave you flat.

So So now they can spare your nipples. But

long story, you don't want to spare your nipple. It's too much of a hassle.

They can, so they just put a bag in there and they spared the skin. And then now they can do that.
Because you don't want just an implant with no fat around it. Because that's what I have right now.

And it looks so weird. Just looks like droopy.
No, it looks like Soprano's tits. Like, you know, when you go to the...
To his strip club? And like. Oh, he knows exactly.

Like those hard early 2000 tits. That's what I have right now.

The

Bada Bing. The Bada Bang.
Yeah. It's like I could work at the Bada Bang.

My current set of tits. So I'm going to get some naturals again.
Well, let me know if you're working at the Bada Bing. You got it.

I'll come and give you some dollar bills. Thank you.

The oldest stripper with deep flat cancer tits. How depressing.

Scars and shit. The only white chick in New Jersey with black boobs.

Come and see me. The only white girl in New Jersey with black boobs.
I think you'll do well. That'd be so great.

And this is tomorrow? Yeah, dude. You're awfully kind of.
What the fuck are you doing? Blood. Talking to me.
Blood. Because, fam, blood.
10 hours? Bro, I know, homie. I'm a little bit more.

What are you thinking, fam? Fam, fam. Listen, if I'm not here talking to you, mate, mate.

I'm Australian again.

If I'm not here talking to you, I'm home fucking pacing the floors. No, I know.
And I don't want to fucking do that, bro. I'd rather be here trying to be funny and getting out of my own head.

And then I'll take some Xanax later. I understand that, girl.
Yeah. Yeah.
Fucking hell. Yeah, fucking hell is right, man.
Sounds like Irish. Do it again.

Fucking hell.

No, I was doing Liverpool. Fucking hell.
Fucking hell. Fucking hell, girl.
Fucking hell, girl. Yeah, 10 hours.
10 hours, two surgeons. And it's a micro surgery, so my...
Do they

one take over from the other? They can't. They tag team, team bro they have to they tag team my tips sharing the driving

yeah well one of them my top surgeon she'll do it with like special

i guess micro whatever goggles so they can they can connect the blood vessels

it is wild fam i know i know i wanted to i want to start an only fans page just so i can show people my deep flap tits the only the only way that the only way that you would really impress pinhead yeah would be if you were going to be conscious throughout.

Our suffering would be legendary.

Jesus wept. Oh, the pain.

The suffering.

The sweet, sweet suffering. All right.
On that note,

I love you. You're the best.
Shout out to Sage. Shout out to Steph.
Thank you so much.

I love you guys. All right.
I'll see you next time with my new black tits. Bye, guys.
Bye.

You did this, look what you've done. You pushed and pushed, and now it's come to this.
It's maddening, and it's all your fault. You asked for it, so here it is.
You deserve it.

All the kicks, the screams, the blood. It's all for you.
All for you. All for you.
All for you.

What did you think would happen?

Will you walk again? Talk again? We hope not. Will I drop it on your head? Can a knife puncture your side? I have a bat, that would like to meet your face.
You deserve it all.

It's all for you.

Your smile doesn't fool us. We watch you flare in the dewater.
As we grasp for air, we chill it, kick it, push. You fighting to live, so we push you under again.

I tried to make it work. I listened and and I gave you chances.
But you wanted something else, I feel glee as your inside smell. This fist is for you, this blade is for you.

Tie you to a post, watch the birds eat away. You go up in flames, you suffer finally.

I did it all for you, all for you, all for you, all for you, all for you, all for you.

You can do it, you can do it, you can do it, you can do it, you can do it,

that was so good and how hard that was for me.

I'm proud of you, proud of you, proud of you.

Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. A million times I'm sorry.
Lucy, I'm just like hacking my cheeks in the machine.

My cheeks are all wet with tears from my eye. My master is upset, and I don't know why.
Is it something I did? Is it something I said? Daily shame, embarrassed myself, helping dread.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, afraid, afraid, afraid. Afraid to be sorry, sorry to be afraid.
With a panic, beer is my breakfast, then for lunch, I scored a second. After some lunch, it all becomes clear.

I'm a dumb fucking idiot once up all year. I break the palm drops, I bony out my bomb.
There's just two things I knew very wrong. It's not your fault that you wished I would die.

I'm just an outside, don't give shit. Inside, I'm all out of words.
Nothing I can do except apologize for being an imbecile. I'll read you.

I'm sorry, Mr. Tom.
I do better, do better, do better, do better, do better.

I'm proud of you, proud of you, proud of you, proud of you, proud of you.

This isn't just a game, it's a once-in-a-generation event. The Harlem Globetrotters 100-year tour.

Celebrate 100 years of high-flying dunks, 100 years of show-stopping moves, and 100 years of changing the game. Bring the whole family and be part of the legacy.
This game is once in a century.

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