Big Ryan Energy w/ Ryan Sickler | Your Mom's House Ep. 818

Well, welcome.

Welcome to your mom's house.

Black and indigenous

people of color

do are valued.

She does leave out so many groups.

She hit a lot of groups, though.

But it's not really inclusive.

What's that called?

Do you know?

Do you want what we have it as?

That video?

Black and indigenous people of color.

Creoles.

Yeah.

Gypsies.

I don't think she says gypsies.

Pakistanis or

Sunnis,

Turks and Kurds and Shiites.

She names a lot of them.

She does.

She names very obscure.

Yeah.

I mean,

we value your opinions.

Yeah.

Yeah, she's great.

She's great.

And, like, those groups don't want her as their spokesperson.

This is what she would do if you told her, like, shut the fuck up.

She'd be like,

there she is.

Thank you for your feedback.

Yeah.

Black and indigenous people of color.

Thank you.

Lesbian, gay,

transgender, queer.

Queer.

Lesbian gay,

transgender, queer.

Asian American Pacific Islander.

Asian American

Pacific Islander

Creoles

in this world.

Annie, when you hear this song, is this like a good way to start your day?

I feel very represented.

You do, you know?

You feel seen?

I feel seen.

I feel heard.

I feel felt.

You do.

Wow.

Do you think, how did she go to the side?

Do you think she'd be a good hang?

Like, if you were to meet her?

Oh, God.

I mean, I'm down.

You are down.

We should bring her.

We should bring her on the show.

That would be amazing.

That would be amazing.

Because I think about this song so much.

I forget when we first saw it.

It was a while ago.

But every once in a while, I'm driving around and I'll see a black or indigenous person of color, or a lesbian, or a Romani, or a Hispanic, or a Latino, or a Pacific Islander, and I'll think about this song and I'll be like, God, they must feel so connected.

But how does Creole make that?

Stop!

You know what?

I think the Creole was.

I feel like she ran out.

Is that right?

Just like Google, like, what else is this?

What else is that?

Because I didn't theory.

I didn't realize Creole was a really

outsider group.

She's

it that big?

No, it's not that big.

There's two Creoles.

There's not a lot of Creoles.

There's more than two.

In the state of Louisiana, there's Creoles.

Other than that, it's a very niche group.

They're not like, how come no one's talking about us?

Yeah, nobody cares.

I mean, as far as I know.

That woman, too, also, if I said something,

she would go, shut up, white man.

I'd go, okay.

She wouldn't even step foot in our building if we invited her to this and then she Googles you and me.

We're enemy number one to the other side.

I would go back.

I'm half Providence.

She'd be like, I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry.

You present white.

Do you think she's straight?

What I'm saying is I don't care what her identity is, but like, what's the key to her heart?

Like, how much bullshit do you have to spit as a man to get inside of this?

You got to be down with this kind of bullshit.

Patchouli panties.

Yeah.

You got to feel as bad about existing as she does.

And then she'd be like, cool.

Yeah, I like you.

You'd be like, I'm sorry, I was born too.

She'd be like, Great, yeah,

yeah, I know.

She's so full of white guilt, yeah, so much.

It's a lot, it's hey, I get it, yeah.

You and I should be writing songs.

Well, maybe we reach out, guys.

Maybe we reach out and we see if we can make something happen.

Black gonna be like, I would love to hear like a live version of it, you know.

Well,

like if she would come on and perform it live, do you think she would do the next YMH live and maybe be

musical guest?

Maybe if we were willing to, because I'm sure she wouldn't do it for money, but if we were like, hey, we'll donate

to whatever black Latino thing you want,

maybe that would be an excuse.

To the Romani Creole population.

So they don't burn the Romani anymore.

And I'm bound to be the one in communication with Josh.

There we go.

That's a team player.

Nailed it.

Nailed it.

Maybe

hit her with a, hey, check this out.

You know what I'm saying?

You know what I'm saying?

We were listening to your shit.

And she'd be like,

I understand you're from a different culture than me, and I would love to

be there for you.

I know.

However, you speak to me,

was it any?

I'm sorry.

And also, too, if she wants to, like,

be in the mix, like, look, she lives somewhere probably like Minneapolis.

By the way, if she gives you any pushback, if she's like, no, I'd be like, yeah, white bitch.

That's what I thought.

And then she'll be like,

you're right.

You're right.

You're right.

I suck.

Sorry.

I'm the worst.

But look, you can tell she lives somewhere like Minneapolis or Manitoba.

Maybe.

There's no people of color anywhere near her.

Well, that's why she's feeling so bad.

I know.

She's isolated with the whites.

That's white.

So maybe if she moved to an area where she could be amongst all these different people, she wouldn't feel so guilty.

She separates herself, so she's actually the problem.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I do know what you're saying.

I do know what you mean.

Yeah.

I don't know what you're saying, and I don't know what you mean.

Well, let's give a little opener here.

You ready?

You got it.

Let's get going here.

Here we go.

I don't jack off.

I get my dick.

I like cows.

Sir, you cannot be saying that loud.

Come on.

No.

No.

No.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was us random.

Don't bring in what my mother is.

No, no.

No.

Welcome to your mom's house

with Tom Sagura.

Tom Sutsura.

No, Christina Bashitzi.

Welcome to your mom's house.

No.

Now, now, now, now, now.

So, this is a pretty cool video.

It's filmed inside of McDonald's, And what's happening, if you're listening, is there's a potential art model for

nude sketches.

Speakerphone, he's like, I don't jack off.

I get my dick sucked.

And a lady goes, sir,

you cannot talk like that.

And the best, you don't usually see this.

He goes, you're right, you're right.

And he like, he shapes up.

He's like, yeah, that's okay.

I'll get out of here.

Usually you hear like, nah, like back.

or like, fuck you, bitch.

You know, like, you usually hear confrontation back.

And he's like, very polite.

I don't jack off.

I get my bitch.

I like.

Sir, you cannot be saying now let.

I'm

sorry.

I'm sorry.

No.

Let me get out of here.

Sorry.

Let me get out of here.

He knows.

He knows.

It's like sometimes when you're a toddler, like, you know, they're caught red-handed.

Yeah.

Nothing.

Me, a culpa.

I'm done here.

I'm sorry.

I shouldn't be talking about my dick and McDonald's.

Yeah.

He knew.

He knew.

He knew.

But sometimes you don't get that all the time.

No, you don't.

They don't take accountability for their actions, the homeless.

Who's they?

Oh, the homeless.

Yeah, crazy people, baby.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Listen, I'm a team crazy person, too, but we will find out the results later.

This is though, I've been so stoked about this one.

This might be one of my favorite things that I've seen in a long time.

Go ahead.

Essex is a continent.

No.

No, it's a county.

A what?

A country?

A county.

What's the difference between a county and a country?

Country.

So country is like England.

Yeah.

So Wales is in Cardiff.

Cardiff is the capital of Wales.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm from Liverpool, so I live in a country.

Liverpool's a city.

A city.

Yeah.

If you go on a plane and go to another place, that's still the United Kingdom, isn't it?

Depends where?

Where do we go?

So Spain?

That's Europe.

But it's still still in the United States.

That's incredible.

Isn't that amazing?

I could listen to her talk all day.

You know what the best part?

Like, one of the things that stands out to me?

How gentle they are with her.

No, like a child's.

Yeah.

Like explaining it to your six-year-old.

She was like, so Liverpool.

Liverpool.

That's a country.

And they're like, no, that's a city.

The one you've lived in forever.

But they're nice about it.

Like, oh, no, that's not.

Spain's in Europe, but it's not the same country.

I know.

That's exactly how.

I mean, I would say it with

the same gentle way to our children.

Kiss.

Like, oh, yeah, this is, no, you know, New York is another city.

Yeah.

We just explain it to children.

But she's so attractive.

That's why she's gotten away with it.

I think so.

That's also why they're nice.

Because she was like a big old fucking pig.

Yeah.

Then they'd be like, you fucking stupid.

Yeah.

You don't know the difference.

Fucking fatso.

But then they're like, oh, you're pretty.

Yeah.

It's called pretty privilege, Tom.

It's just another city.

You live in another city.

Yeah, live a pup.

And if these were men, they would just be like so nice to her.

Oh, the men would be.

But I'm saying if it was a man that was that stupid and it was a group of dudes.

Oh, no.

You guys would be like, what are you fucking idiot retarded?

Yeah, no.

Guys would be brutal.

Brutal.

Ruthless.

Well, that's different.

I guess hot chicks,

I think because a lot of

a lot of hot chicks are stupid.

So this is just a camaraderie thing.

They are like, yeah, I could be that stupid.

I could be that.

Yeah, I'm hot, so I'm hot.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All these hotties are working together to be like, it's okay.

It's okay to be stupid.

We have to support each other.

Women supporting women.

Now, if it was a really cute guy, let's say it was a really cute guy.

Yeah.

And he were stupid.

Oh, my God.

They'd be nice to him.

Yes.

Because they'd be like, oh, he's really cute.

Of course.

But if he was not attractive.

Forget it.

They'd be like, what?

No, if he were a dumbass.

Do you really not know this?

So they would talk to him.

You don't fucking know that?

That's what they would say to him.

I know.

Isn't that wild?

You think Liverpool's another country?

Are you fucking moron?

Fuck, I know.

Yeah.

Liverpool.

Yeah.

It's staying in the United Kingdom.

So I've go to Spain.

If I go to Spain.

Let's play it again.

I like to hear it.

Who is it?

It's the same county.

But she fucking...

Essex.

Essex.

It's a continent.

It's a continent.

No, it's a county.

It's a county.

A country?

A county.

What's the difference between a county and a country?

Country.

So a country is like England.

Yeah.

So Wales is in Cardiff.

Cardiff's the capital of Wales.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I'm from Liverpool, so I live in a country.

Liverpool's a city.

A city.

Yeah.

Come on.

If you go on a plane and go to another place, that's still the United Kingdom.

Depends where.

Where do you want to go?

So nice to her.

Yeah.

That's Europe.

But it's still in the United Kingdom.

No, no, no.

But the black chick was starting to go.

That's Europe.

Yeah.

Dumb.

And she was getting a little like...

A little bit.

Now, here's the thing.

Having seen so many clips and videos, you know over so many years

she could be putting people on like we're not seeing enough video like she's either really

smart and funny in doing this or just dumber than a box of sand like she's one of the two but she's from Essex and that is known to be like like you know like the dummies are from like

the cultural whatever the chabs are from Essex.

They're supposed to be like this.

There's a lot of girls that are like this, right?

Like the cultural

whatever.

They're like valley girls, right?

So here's what we know about this actual clip.

Oh, it says viewers of the show believe she is secretly smart because it was later revealed she studied at Liverpool Hope University.

Okay, so she can't be that stupid.

And she was later invited on Good Morning Britain and Piers Morgan grilled her.

Oh.

So I don't know.

I'm sure there's more out there.

I think we should try to find it.

This is a...

That's grilled.

This clip went viral and played on the news.

This woman has a son.

She now has over 700,000 followers on TikTok.

Yeah, I wonder if this is genuine or not.

Because it's either like it's very well executed on her part, and like I really respect it if she did it, or if she's really this dumb.

Yeah.

Because she's also, she's not 17, right?

Like, you know, like...

No.

She's in her 20s, right?

Like late 20s.

She's super cute.

Yeah.

But I'm saying, like, she's not a child.

No, she should know these things.

Come on.

It's adorable, though.

It's a good clip.

It's funny.

How can you find something else if you can?

First of all, I just want to take a little break.

Buy my lipstick, Christinap.com.

Also, a few things.

Some of you maybe missed last week's episode.

I'm wearing these glasses and hat because I

had a little cosmetic surgery and still bruised.

Still bruised.

But also,

my artwork, we increased the price to $20,000.

Yes, fuck around and find out.

It's not $20,000.

And you can find it on store.ymhstudios.com.

Correct.

It has not sold yet.

We'll see if it moves.

We'll just see if it moves and we'll just go from there.

But, you know, apropos of the title,

because you guys haven't bought it yet, you've fucked around, and now you're going to find out I am raising the price to $30,000.

And now we're going to sell it.

Wow.

I believe that to increase the price is the way to go.

Not decrease.

I know my value to you.

I know your value.

Know what you're worth.

I do self-care.

I meditate.

I watch, I eat fruit for my vagina.

I do.

Fruitify your pussy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Very cool.

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What's this right here?

It wouldn't be.

You've got a slight

problem, perhaps with geography.

Yeah, I wasn't the brightest tool in the box in geography.

Yeah.

Were you the brightest tool in the box in anything?

Yeah, stuff that I have Interesting.

What are you good at?

What would you say is your intellectual powerhouse?

Powerhouse.

Yeah.

Anything but geography in Brexit.

Give me something.

English.

English.

Yeah.

You like English?

Yeah.

Can you speak English?

I'm speaking English right now.

So rude.

I don't think you have to defend yourself, Hayley.

Exactly.

The point of Love Island is not about how good you are at geography.

What is the point of Love Island?

I'll be honest with the thing.

Well, she's about to tell you if you let her speak.

I I just don't get the point of this.

It seems to me that we put the dimmest people in Britain to one leg.

It's so rude.

And you all just try and have sex with each other.

Am I wrong?

Definitely wrong.

Definitely wrong.

Really?

There's early?

There's a doctor in there, a solicitor, a nuclear engineer.

Nuclear engineer.

Yes, you're less.

What?

Yes.

He's only 20 years.

20-year-old nuclear engineer.

We sold you a partner.

There are no 20-year-old nuclear engineers.

He's also a government policy advisor.

Charlie, look, I know that you go socialising with my eldest son, Spencer, who to my horror loves Love Island.

And he vouches for you and says, actually,

you're a relatively normal bloke.

So, my question is, what are you doing in there?

Just having a bit of fun, you know.

So, Haley, explain to me, right, what the point of this is, Love Island.

You go into fan love, and obviously, you don't go into sit a politics exam like I mean, I don't think she's doing enough.

Here's the thing: I don't think she was doing a bit.

I don't think she's doing a bit.

Yeah, confirmed.

Yeah, yeah, she's as dumb as that.

That's pretty amazing.

Now, Now I want to meet her.

I know.

I know.

Should we have her on our show and give her.

I would love to.

Should we make her do geography lessons?

Well, it's just like it would just be, I want to dig deeper.

I mean, this is pretty fascinating.

Why don't we put her against Emma, our CEO?

Wow.

In like a geography championship quiz thing?

Yeah.

Or something like that.

It's a pretty good idea.

Yeah.

That's fascinating.

That's amazing.

Learning about a county versus a country versus a city.

I know, but now I want to see a show where they educate this girl.

Yeah.

And they just quiz her on different things.

I could watch that all day with that accent talking.

She's like, actually, what is a mammal?

I can't even do Liverpool.

A mammal is a

mammary.

She said she liked English, but I wonder if she would know what's a noun.

Negative, sir.

I don't think so.

I don't think so.

Verb.

Hold on.

This university she went to, is this one of those online universities?

I don't know.

You know, people can get PhDs online now.

I know.

It's very misleading.

I don't think she went to a real

school.

Here's where she went.

Liverpool Hope University.

Like, is that a real place?

It looks like it.

Yeah.

Well, anyway, she's pretty, and that's all that matters.

That is really all that's going to matter in her life.

I know.

Fucking who cares?

She's got to just set herself up for the next 10 years because that's why she's, well, she's the prettiest.

100%.

Like, Jeff Bezos's new wife, like, she's just a professional millionaire dater.

That's what that lady did.

Yeah.

There are just women who, like, bang rich dudes.

Yeah.

And, like, okay, that's your life.

Then go fucking do it.

Go do it, man.

Enjoy it.

But can I tell you what I thought was kind of gross with their wedding?

Like, first of all, it costs like $40 million, which is, I think, a little excessive.

But, like,

for me, like, you're exchanging marital vows, which is a real thing.

But the guest list is just a-list celebrities.

It's like Oprah Winfrey, the Kardashian,

Leonardo DiCaprio.

Like, you're really friends with these people?

You mean to tell me, like, you're really good friends?

You're close enough with Leonardo and Oprah that you want them to witness marital vows.

I mean, I mean, I just think it's creepy to use your wedding

as a social event.

Yeah, like, what?

Why not just throw a gala or something?

I know.

If you want to meet these people, it's fine.

Well, he's friends with Leo.

They are friends.

Is he really?

No.

Jeff Bezos.

They're friends.

He kicks it with Leo.

Yeah.

Wow.

They're friends.

Oh, there's

Sydney Sweet Tits.

Sydney Sweet Tits.

Ugly Face.

Big Tits.

I don't know who that is.

Who am I looking at?

Brooks Nader and Ellie Golding?

Don't know.

No clue.

Don't want to know.

I know.

It seems insufferable.

Yeah.

But could you imagine?

It's molto gay what they did.

Just how boring.

Yeah.

Oh, there's

Trump and Kushner there.

Oh, right.

Yeah.

It's just big shots, man.

This is how big shots do it.

Yeah.

Who's that?

I'll never get it.

Sam Altman and Carly Kloss.

Carly Kloss.

Is that she an athlete or model?

I don't know.

It sounds.

Who do we invite?

What celebrities do we invite to our wedding?

The cool guys.

Yeah, there's Ops.

There's Open Space and Gail.

And

her girlfriend.

Her gay wife.

I mean, don't you think Oprah?

could just come out now and be like, I'm a big lesbian.

Yeah, of course.

Gail and I have been eating each other's boxes for 40 years.

This Stedman guy.

It's fruitifying our pussies forever.

I mean,

during COVID, I'll never forget Oprah moved Gail onto her property in Montecito.

And like, Gail lived in a house on her property.

Like, what?

Yeah.

If Gail's a grown woman, too, with her own life.

Yeah, yeah.

They've got to be bonding each other.

You think so?

To be that enmeshed.

Like, Shauna, my BFF.

Yeah.

You would do that too, though.

She's not staying on my property.

Is it going to be a good idea?

But you would do that if that were a thing.

Do what?

If there was like, you know, if it was.

If she needed my help.

Yeah, you'd be like, move in here.

Yeah, but Gail doesn't need her help.

Gail has her own money, her own life, her own kids.

Maybe.

It's a little weird.

And she never married Steadman.

That's a little weird, no?

He's just like, one more year.

Just keep this shit going.

I'm sure at the end of every year, he's like, one more spin around the sun.

Shit.

Let's do it again.

I get my allowance.

Shit is nice.

Could you imagine?

Yeah.

Oh my God.

And the dogs.

What do you think she breaks him off?

Like, what do you think?

What do you think she breaks off?

Oh, to play the role of the camera.

Yeah, like, what's his like?

He's got to have like a monthly stipend, right?

Well, he's been, they've been doing the charade for what, 20

years.

But he also doesn't work as much.

I mean, he had it.

He looked he had his own career.

He made money.

Yeah.

He's got to be like, hey, bitch.

Like, you know.

Bitch.

You think he calls Open Freedom?

Anybody calls Oprah Winfrey a bitch?

Yes.

I think he's like, hey, bitch, check this out.

You're so stupid.

No.

Like, look, I've been fucking you for how long, right now, right?

No.

And she's like, all right, all right.

You think?

And she has no idea what normal is anymore.

She's like, I'm not going to, I'm not a sucker.

You're not going to get me.

I am not going to give you more than $2 million a month.

And he's like, oh, okay, I'll try to make it on that for sure.

I would guess.

So they've been together for a minute.

He's got his own money.

He does.

Yeah.

But he's got to play the Sherad so that she can

rug munch with

a long time they've been fucking around.

I think hush money, 10 million a year.

You think so?

Yeah.

To sign the NDA.

Oh, I'm Oprah as a hell.

We're just not getting married.

It's just not in our thing.

We're just good friends.

I don't know.

Like, come on.

Also, you're getting to the age where you actually

want to have a spouse just so that somebody can come in the room.

Like, you know what I mean?

For the medical shit.

You're dead.

Yeah.

Somebody finds your body.

Actually be there.

Is that what you think?

Motherfucker's 6'7?

Yeah, he should date the basketball player, the goth.

Yeah, that'd be really into it.

She would like him too.

She'd be like, oh, Stedman, yeah.

I mean, he doesn't seem like a lot of hot sex, does he?

I mean, he's 74 now.

I'm saying back in the day, even.

I'm sure he threw that dick around.

Yeah.

He looks like back in the day.

Yeah, he was having it, dude.

So is she.

They're both cute.

No, she's in love with Gail, big time.

You think so?

Because I'll tell you, when she talks, I've seen interviews where she's like, Gail King,

imagine a friend who is your biggest supporter.

Yeah.

Your best friend.

She's my mother, my daughter, my sister, my lover.

I mean, she is like, oh, my God.

You think she's part of the Ida Booty gang, though?

Of course.

Yeah.

Of course they're in the Ida Booty gang.

Who isn't in the Ida Booty gang?

A lot of people are not in the Ida Booty gang, yeah.

I found out so many of my friends have never done that.

It was so baffling to me.

So many.

That's because you're mentally ill.

We've discussed this before.

You think you're the normal one, and that's why you're even crazier than me.

You think you're okay and everyone else is fucked up.

You think you're fucking okay.

That's called a personality disorder.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sure.

I'm neurotic because I think I'm the problem.

Yeah.

But you're personality disorder because you think everyone else is the problem.

Get out of here.

Look at this.

Get over here.

Get over here now.

What did I eat yesterday?

Pasta.

Rigatoni.

It's a cool relationship.

You don't like that?

I don't want to.

Can I tell you why?

What?

It's a little fabricated.

It doesn't.

It feels authentic to me.

Real married couples, they go, I know what you had.

You had the salad from Mendocino Farm.

It was very performative.

Soyrizo chips on there.

Oh, you had the ranch dressing.

Because I can tell my baby's digestion, your farts and your toots and shits and stuff.

Yeah.

Can you tell what I ate?

No.

You're not as dialed into me.

I'm dialed into you.

You know.

Because I'm the woman.

I'm a lady.

Yeah.

I'm a mother.

You have toddlers.

You don't even know

what my middle name is.

What's my middle name?

Whatever.

Edith.

Where was I born?

It's not.

I changed it.

Yeah.

Where was I born?

Windsor, Ontario, Canada.

What's my sign?

Your sign.

My astrological sign.

Oh, who gives a shit?

You don't know.

I don't care.

You don't know?

I don't care.

You don't fucking know.

I'm not a fucking broad.

I don't care about that shit.

You were born in June.

I will give you $100 if you can tell me my astrological signs.

I don't know what any of those are.

I don't even know.

I don't know.

You don't know your wife's astrological signs.

No, she's a Taurus.

Final answer?

No, I don't care.

I want you to tell me.

I don't know what they are.

You do know what they are.

Josh, bring up the signs.

Oh, boy.

And guess.

Don't say what month they're correlated to.

Oh, okay.

Because so we, you know, tricky, tricky.

What school?

Do you know what school your sons go to?

Yeah, I know what schools they go to.

What's my name?

Okay, you are a fucking

you're either a Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Libra, or Scorpio, I think, or Capricorn, or Aquarius.

Which one is it?

Butt slop, pick one.

I just did.

No.

You're a Taurus.

You're a Libra.

You're a Capricorn.

You're a Chazittarius.

Chazetarius?

You're Chazittarius.

You're Chazetarius.

You're Pisces.

What are you?

Guess.

Butthole, just guess one so I can tell you if you're right or not.

Okay, you're Libra.

Final answer?

Sure.

Libra.

I don't know.

I just said 10 times.

Josh, go ahead and tell him what month a Libra corresponds to.

October.

So you're not a Libra.

So what are you?

Can I also tell you this, though, before you tell me?

Can I just please tell you you this?

Yeah, can I?

Can I tell you this?

And I mean this with all sincerity.

And I mean all sincerity.

All sincerity.

I don't care.

I didn't kill this.

I don't care.

No, no, I just don't care.

Yeah, I know you don't care.

Okay.

That's why you're a bigger sociopath than me.

Gemini.

I said that one.

I fucking said that.

Out of all the 12.

Yes,

in all the 12, you were like, Pisces, Aries, Libra.

I already guessed it.

Gemini's.

Yeah.

Oh, Oh, did he guess Gemini first?

No.

Yeah, it was first.

Lies.

If you played the tape back, I said Gemini, and then you were like, is that your final?

And I moved on.

Oh, my God.

So I had it right.

You're such a lying face.

God's going to punish you so hard.

You know what?

And I hope that surfer finds you and shaves the other fucking side of your dumbbeard.

So fucking rude.

Yeah.

What am I?

Aries.

How do you know?

Because I looked it up when we started dating dipshit.

Because that's what girls do.

They look you up.

And they look you up and they go, oh my God, he's in the seventh descendant of the thing.

Gee, are you putting together why I didn't do it?

I'm not a fucking chick.

And chicks are dumb.

Okay.

Dumb broad.

Yeah.

Yeah, but cheeseburger whistle, listen, hamburger slice, is that after just knowing somebody for 20 years, well, you've known me since I was 25.

You never thought.

Didn't care.

And still don't.

And by the way, never thought.

By the way, I will forget that you are this, and I will do.

I know you will.

I will.

And this this is your sociopathy.

Now you're going to double down on it and go, oh, yeah?

Well, I'm still going to forget it.

Yeah, I am.

I am.

Okay.

Aries?

Aries?

Aries.

Okay.

All right.

Can I give you a redeeming yourself question?

Sure.

She's a Libra.

I got it.

Go.

Okay.

Shut up.

Okay.

Death row meal.

What am I going to pick?

Oh, shit.

Your death row meal?

You can do this, Tom.

Dig deep.

You've known me since I was 25 years old.

You can do this, Tom.

I mean, there's a few.

And I'm thinking about five things.

It could be one of like five things.

Well, I definitely think you would do Korean at some point in your death row.

Okay.

I think you would do Kimchi and Calbi.

Sure.

I think that would be a problem.

That's in the foreign category, but let's go like day to day.

I could make this at home.

I'm leading you a little bit here.

For fuck's sake, man.

You know I'm trailer trash.

Yeah.

So fucking think about it.

Well, what, you're going to make mac and cheese and shake and bake?

That's close.

Yeah, it's pretty close, right?

Yeah.

I mean, you like to make soups all the time, poop soup.

But you make it all the time, dude.

Death row.

This is it.

This is the end of my life.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

You know I like shitty spaghetti with

your with your fucking

your cheap cheese, your parmesan cheese.

Thank you.

Shaky cheese.

That's not.

And ragu.

That's not necessarily number one, though.

Don't act like that.

It is in my heart.

Or I would have accepted Stouffer's Frenchbread pizza.

Get the fuck out of here.

I love Stouffer's Frenchbread.

Over the Korean stuff?

No, you don't.

I do.

In my heart, but I don't eat it as much because it's unhealthy.

I'm not supposed to eat that stuff.

Bro, you never have this.

Don't act like that.

It's in the freezer now in Texas on our children's eyes.

Right now, there's a Stouffer's French bread pizza.

There's one.

Yes, there is.

I know exactly.

I see it in my mind's eye.

You.

That is not on your death row list.

It is, bro.

Okay, then you're another person.

I don't know you.

That's insane.

Stouffer.

Like, you act like

we always talk about Stouffer's and how much you love this shit.

I do love it.

I've talked about it.

Okay, I'll give you one more thing.

One more thing.

My favorite band of all time.

Oh, that's easy.

That's fucking easy, bro.

It's Huey Lewis and the movies.

All right, fuck off.

There's a guest here.

Let's go.

We're divorcing.

This is terrible.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Good job, bro.

What did I get you?

Clap for everybody.

Tom Guest Bauhaus.

What did I just bring you?

You got me the Bauhaus Coasters.

I really appreciate that.

Robert Smith.

Yeah.

I know.

You got it.

I appreciate that.

Fucking gypsy.

Stupid Aries.

All right.

Let's reset here.

I'm fucking with a Libra.

You know how it is.

All right, we'll take a little break.

And we are back, and we are joined by one of our all-time favorites.

He's the host of the Honeydew and the Way Back.

You can see his current special lefty son on YouTube.

There's a new one coming out called Live and Alive.

That's correct.

And you can see him live if you get tickets at ryan sickler.com.

It's Ryan Sickler, everybody.

Thank you for having me back, guys.

Good to be.

It's been a minute.

It's been a minute, dude.

You look good.

Thank you, man.

You're trimmed down.

I'm trying to take after you, dude.

Yeah.

You trimmed down a lot.

I needed to.

I was, you know, once I got on that scale, and I was like, what's going on here?

And then I went and did your bad thoughts.

And I said, I looked down to try to see my big fake dick and I couldn't see it over my real big gut.

And I was like, it's fucking time, bro.

I got a hand.

That was it.

So in a way.

Yeah, that was, it really inspired me.

Somebody that can say that big dick changed my life.

It did.

That big dick changed my life.

And my health.

Yeah.

That's awesome.

You look great.

So you've been just eating healthier?

Eating better.

I'm not killing myself in any way to go, you know,

but just making smarter decisions.

But cardio has been the thing, too, that I've, just since the injury, I couldn't, I was always in pain.

So dropping the weights help, and I'm out doing cardio now, and that just also changes your mental perspective.

I love getting outside in the sun and just walking and getting some exercise.

You would kill you right now.

You can't do that.

that enough.

You're an enemy right now.

You're down almost 30 pounds.

Yeah.

That's incredible.

Without Ozempic or any of that.

I'm not saying any people should.

Even my doctor, when I went to see him, he's like, you should definitely start losing some weight here.

Just get that off your spine.

And do you want to try Ozempic?

And I was like, no, I haven't even begun to begin to take this seriously.

Like, if I genuinely take it seriously and I, you know, I'm still a fat ass, then yeah, I'll come back to see you for a needle, but let me just really see if I can.

And I'll be honest, I'm surprised at 52 that if you just make some,

I mean, they're not, I'm not doing anything bad at all.

Yeah, if you just do it and get in the groove and keep doing it, it still works.

Nice.

Yeah, it looks great.

You look great, man.

Thank you, brother.

So do you guys do that?

I'm so happy.

Well, I mean, especially

right now.

Look at this.

Yeah.

I can't wait for you to see my eyebrows.

Oh, there you go.

Doesn't that feel nice?

Now I see it.

Yeah.

This is great.

I got to cover up this pink eye I got out in your lobby out there from some shag pillow from 1968 that hadn't hadn't been dusted.

What is that?

I don't know.

Your eye looks super irritated.

Yeah, it is.

It is irritated.

Just one of them.

When's the last time you had pink eye for real?

Oh, God, as a kid.

Shut up.

That's because he has got a daughter.

Yeah.

Boys, the pink eyes.

Oh, you know what?

I never did get pink.

I was thinking about that.

Yeah, I do have a kid now.

I never did get pink eye.

Look, knock on wood.

I don't want to jinx it.

We've avoided pink eye, and we've also avoided

lice.

Knock on wood.

So far, we've avoided lice.

I've woken up with one of my son's assholes on my eye.

And I've been like, well, that's red on something.

No,

he put his asshole on your face and farted.

Yeah, that's that's cool.

And it smelled bad.

Yeah.

They don't have to be that old for it to smell like an old man's fart.

And then it's really interesting.

Like, it comes out with that.

I was like, huh, that smells like just a 35-year-old truck.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it smells bad from the jump.

It smells real bad.

This is pretty cool.

I found this.

I don't know know if you've seen this story yet.

I've never seen anything remotely resembling something like this.

Officers in Bergen County say they're taking action against what they call a hostile work environment created by the police chief.

They're planning to file a lawsuit alleging some pretty disturbing behavior.

These are just some of the photos provided by Tescano.

Allegations made against Chief Robert Farley include sending a gay pride flag to an officer's home, shaving his body hair and leaving it all over an officer's desk and personal property, and jabbing an officer with a hypodermic needle through his pants.

Officers also say he pulled his pants down and defecated on the floor in front of his entire staff.

On several occasions, he has thrown eggs in fits of anger, creating additional messes for staff to clean up.

And they say he also tampered with the office coffee by adding prescription medications such as Adderall and Biagon, causing staff to inadvertently experience the effects of these substances without their consent.

Hey, chief.

That's the chief of police.

Chief.

I like how they went, like, send a gay pride flat.

Yeah.

And then it was like, stabbed a guy in the fucking leg with a needle.

Took a shit on his mom's house.

Like, what the fuck?

Because it kept getting worse.

You know, they had the list.

They're like, all right, let's pick this order.

100% they.

But also, the chief, as he's doing, is like, how am I topping that?

How am I going to top that one?

I'm going to stick this guy with a hypodermic needle

perfect that it's Jersey.

It's like the most corrupt stuff.

But also, don't you think 20 years ago, nobody would bat an eye at some crazy shit like this?

You feel like that's just Jerry?

That's just fucking

just Chief Jerry, man.

He does.

Shaved his balls.

Oh, Chief.

It's my best.

Chief Farley?

Yeah.

I got his pubes right here.

He shaved his back on my desk.

It's so crazy.

I know.

This just sounds like the 90s.

It's insane.

It's so gross to have your fucking chief's back hair all over you.

What is all this shit all all over my laptop chief trimmed up over here

right before he shit on the floor he shaved his back over oh that's his shit

what's that oh he threw an egg at the wall he was pissed

then he stabbed me in the leg with a needle

nailed a flag to my side that is crazier that's crazier than taking a shit because you don't know what's in that needle you know he's like i got this off a suspect this morning you know the gap i mean that's the whole thing is cops are always like you got anything sharp that can stab me

That's all they ask.

If I go in those pockets,

Chief's going to stab me.

But I do appreciate the Adderall and the coffee because that is a strong cup.

Yeah.

You get that in a while.

It's going to be a white light.

And Viagra.

So they're getting boners and they're all fucking jacked up.

The whole police precinct's wide awake with their dick heart out on the fucking.

Hey, Chief, we're all hard.

What's going on?

Oh, I fucked with your guys' coffee today.

You are, huh?

Yeah, man.

I got you guys.

Can your body even handle Adderall with Adderall?

I don't really know.

It's supposed to be that F-TOP.

That's a lot.

A lot of stimulants.

So much.

Yeah, because

you got speed and you got open capillaries.

Imagine looking at your rear view and a fucking cop sauntering up and he's just got a fucking hard dick.

Like, this guy really stoked he got me.

He loves pulling me over.

He's so excited to see me, man.

I think that the chief has to do a statement, right?

This is a statement.

The government denies any wrongdoing, calling the allegations false and outrageous, claiming they were made by disgruntled officers.

In a news statement late today, the township says some of the officers planning to file suit recently had their overtime pay reduced.

When Chief Farley took office last year, he undertook an initiative to reduce the amount of police overtime.

It is highly suspicious that these allegations have only come to light after Chief Farley instituted these reforms.

They all immediately said as to any allegation that they have filed, they will all undergo polygraph examinations immediately.

Okay.

Yeah.

Chief's like.

Man, you guys just overtime.

You know, it's just, just disgruntled overtime people right now saying I shit on the floor.

Which sounds like something a guy that shits on the floor would say.

Yeah.

Right.

He's like, I mean, they're just mad at me.

God.

Fucking Christmas.

Overtime.

Next thing you know, I'm stabbing people with a needle.

I mean, come on, man.

Like, we'll take a lie detector.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You're both.

My aunt Marguerite.

Do you ever have to take a lie detector?

Have you ever taken one?

No, have you ever?

You guys never did one on this show or anything?

You should.

No, you should.

I never have, but my Aunt Marguerite was forced to take one.

What?

She was forced to take one when she was working for Rite Aid back in the 80s.

Right aid.

She was a cashier at Rite Aid on Eastern Avenue in Baltimore, Maryland, in Highland Town, and some money went missing.

And so they blamed her and some other cashiers.

And long story short, they told her they had to pass a lie detector test

to save their job.

So they contact an attorney.

She said, Look, I don't care if you stole it or not.

Did you steal it?

And they said, no, we're not stealing anything.

She goes, okay, then if they're telling you you have to take that test to save your job, that's illegal.

You go take that test.

Pass that test.

We got them.

They all passed the test.

They open up a case.

Again, long story short, turns out the bigwigs are embezzling, blaming it on these ladies.

My aunt Marguerite cashes in in the 80s for $1.4 million.

For real,

that's awesome.

She was the sort of ringleader that got the attorney and everything, so she got a little more.

But I think there were like four ladies, and they all got over a million dollars.

Oh, shit.

Good for them.

Good for them.

Yeah.

So the point of the story is that's a game changer for her, right?

Yeah.

Big time.

She moved her grandkids out to Baltimore.

I mean, but like this is Baltimore City.

They went right here.

That's always right here.

You know what I mean?

They didn't go.

They went right there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's a game changer.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is this, by the way, are you doing stuff like this?

I'm Ryan.

And when I say I like ass,

I mean, god damn, I got ass.

I mean, I'll tell you what, Ryan, I am.

I got Pink Eye.

I should ask him what he's doing eating that ass because he doesn't have it.

You know what I mean?

I got it and he doesn't have it.

And you both, Ryan, you both love ass.

And this also feels like you could have done this one.

I'm Ryan, and I just got a fresh cut for all you beautiful black goddesses out there yeah you know sometimes

a haircut makes you feel nice

sometimes a good haircut makes you feel nice he's one of these people who talks around their teeth

like you know there's people that they talk around their teeth oh yeah never heard that he's got yeah

he's got a lot of teeth

he's got to talk around the teeth you got a whole lot of mouth going on ryan

And I got a fresh cut.

I got a fresh cut for the beautiful black princesses.

Do we know more about this guy?

That's it so far.

Does he have a black girlfriend or anything?

I think he wants one.

He definitely wants one.

Beautiful black goddesses.

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah.

Good luck with that.

Ryan?

I'm Ryan.

You should start doing those.

I'm Ryan.

And I just got, I just lost 30 pounds.

I love black women.

And then just ended up.

Do it, Ryan.

Do it.

Do it as him.

As him?

Yeah.

My name is Ryan.

I just got a fresh cut

for all you beautiful black goddesses.

Dude, that is a great lane for you.

That was such a good idea.

I'm going to start making shorts, guy.

Yeah, that's so good.

He doesn't waste any words.

It's all right there.

It is.

Both of them.

Direct messages.

If you're a black lady that likes getting her ass eaten, this is your guy.

He's doing six-second videos.

Yeah.

It's really interesting.

Most people go on too long.

Yeah, you're right.

Long wind.

She's all right there, you know.

Right there.

I got the full message.

I got a cut, and I like black ass.

I'm looking good.

I'm feeling good.

Black ladies, spread those cheeks.

Yeah, that's what I want.

It's perfect, man.

What did I pull for you?

Oh, yeah.

Some cool videos.

Oh, my gosh.

That was to the face.

That's car.

Is he in a truck or a water?

Yeah, he's in a car or what?

With his mouth open, too, you dick.

He's fucked hot as a shit.

But how many times have you wanted to do that?

Oh, that means being in an open car has always been like a tree.

It seems like a fun thing to do.

I didn't realize that could happen to you.

Well, you get hit in the head, and you should definitely close your mouth.

Yeah, I'm not opening my fucking mouth.

I would do that with goggles and shit on.

I'm like, I would have had my fucking mouth in there.

Like, what an asshole.

That's recycle water and suck.

It's so gross, dude.

It's the gross.

It's all the dirty water running off everyone else's car being recycled back through that.

He's like,

it's so disgusting.

It's so gross.

But I want that whipperwill thing to come over.

Yeah, that thing

just scratches back and shit.

That seems fucking.

It would feel good, I feel like.

It'd probably tear your skin.

Here's Ryan.

There's Ryan.

He kept pedaling.

I don't understand that.

He could have stopped.

It looked like he just, he intentionally did that.

He's slowing down.

He's slowing down.

He said, nah, never mind.

Oh, my God.

His sounds are amazing.

Those are great.

Some ribs in there might be somewhere.

Oh my god, did we find Ryan's page?

Oh, these have got to be gold.

Stop.

The stitches are cutting.

Are they all just going to be I'm Ryan?

Oh, fuck.

Ryan, and hopefully

I get a big black booty in my face.

That was it.

I'm Ryan, and I have a confession.

Oh, shit.

Is it about black ass?

Smell a woman's butt of a gold.

Okay.

I'm Ryan, and I'm watching WE United Champions, and it's the Jade Cargill and

Jade Cargill and Oscar match, and they're booing Jade Cargill.

Saudi Arabia doesn't know what

they're saying, bro.

Like, Jade Cargo is a beautiful, dominant

athlete, and she's just

everything what a woman should be.

He's just trying to work around a woman should be.

Don't boo Jade Cargill.

He's working around those teeth.

I'll tell you what.

Longest post yet

about wrestling.

Yeah, so you know what I'm saying?

I know exactly what you're saying.

I know what you're saying.

I know what you mean.

Longest one here.

Just

scroll down and just pick a random one.

I like black ass.

Can you go down?

When it comes to wrestling.

Yeah, just pick a random one.

Yeah, here we go.

I'm Ryan.

And

do people who like to talk shit about other people behind their back?

Not to me personally, but to anyone who likes to talk shit

and not confront like other people about them type of shit yeah

they're the cowards they're the childish one they're

i don't know man i just feel sorry for people who like starts rumors and yeah all this other stuff and

like it doesn't matter how big and bad you think you are you're not you do that you're a child you're a child yeah how'd you know he's gonna say that's kind of how i put it together yeah i've been watching a lot of ryan shit i can tell i can tell what do you think his mom made him for dinner that night you know you know, she's right in the next room.

He ain't living by himself.

That guy lives by himself.

How far down does this go?

Oh, wow.

He's been here for years.

Hey, guys.

There's a lady in there.

Hi, guys.

Where's this?

Let's see.

What would you do if she was joining me?

And I whipped this out.

It's pretty fun.

Just going to put them back together.

I can't do this.

That was pretty good, Ryan.

That was pretty funny.

What about the next one?

Is he still doing I'm Ryan?

I'm Ryan.

And I had to take down my last

post because I feel like it kind of offended people because of

ginormous ass.

And also, I'm not

just trying to have fun.

You know what's great about this guy?

He's totally on brand always.

He's still in this.

We just went back like a couple years and he was like, it was a big ass.

Respectfully, also, though, he has a fan base.

He was like, hey, man, that's not cool.

How many followers?

Listen and take him down.

Does he have?

Let's go back to the beginning.

Oh, he's got 10.

Is it 10,000?

Ryan.

Damn.

I mean, hey, buddy's an influencer at this point.

I know.

Ryan's doing his shit, man.

Archie's like girls, that judge.

I like black ass.

I'm Ryan.

Yeah, I'm 33.

Okay.

I need a Valentine's Day date.

And a good fuck.

And what?

I read a good book.

He doesn't read books, let's be honest.

I saw he said fuck.

I thought I said I want to play it again.

Oh, maybe I misunderstood.

I'm Ryan.

I'm 33.

I need a Valentine's Day date and a good book.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I would want a good book.

Yeah.

You were way off on that.

Way off.

He's not looking at books.

He's not looking at it.

No.

No, no.

I'm Ryan.

He's got an ass block in his view.

What are you talking about?

Valentine's Day.

A good fuck.

Yeah.

I like that he randomly posts hot chicks, though.

That's a cool move, too.

Nice.

Yeah, that's a wrestler for sure.

Yes.

I'm Ryan.

And this Stephanie Valkyra.

Yeah.

WWE wrestler.

Yeah.

Don't know how to pronounce her last name, but that doesn't matter.

She's freaking hot.

And I'm a...

I know.

And we know.

And we know.

We knew her so bad.

We got it.

You know what?

Here's the thing, Ryan.

Keep putting that out there.

One thing I've learned is that if you tell chicks you want to get in there they they listen i love that no doubt it's called manifesting yeah man the more you keep putting these videos out the more black ass is going to be sitting on your face buddy you're going you're not even going to be able to see it if you know what's going to happen and what he's thinking and i know he's thinking in his mind is that stephanie velalaska whatever her name is she's going to see that And then she's going to be all, oh my God, is that

Ryan, who likes big asses?

And I'm guessing that's the moment he switches from the black ass to brown ass.

Yeah, you know what I mean?

Then he takes down all the black ass.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, I'm Ryan.

I got to take all this shit down.

Because she's going to be actually brown ass.

What am I like second place to you?

Yeah.

Yeah, she'll be insulted.

Yeah.

He didn't think that through.

No.

Also, like when social media, when I first started posting, I would be like, hey, it's Christina.

And come see me at the funny bone.

And I remember in the comments, somebody was like, yeah, we know who you are, dummy.

You don't have to say it every time.

I'm like, who's the guy on the far right there?

It looks like he's coming out of a bender.

I'm not posting any more videos.

Fuck all of you for never showing up.

Well, no one's going to miss you.

Wow.

I'm Ryan, and I'm still going to make videos.

He dropped.

He gave us a little button at the top and then hit us with Hi Am Ryan.

Cold open.

Nobody's going to miss you.

Hi, I'm Ryan.

I'm going to keep doing my thing.

Hi, I really hope you adopt Hi Am Ryan.

I I know.

I'm Ryan.

Hi, I'm Ryan.

I have a show this weekend.

Oh, God.

Oh, who's the big muscular guy?

Hi, I'm Ryan.

It's Ryan.

Oh, really?

Just.

AI Ryan?

AI Ryan.

AI Ryan.

Wow.

Yeah.

Hi, I'm Ryan.

Ryan, if you get like that, I promise you're going to get all the black ass you want.

Oh,

male black ass.

I don't think female black ass.

I think it's a different kind of black ass coming my way.

Oh, my God.

Shit.

Be down in West Hollywood.

Just

tapping ass.

Black.

Hi, I'm Ryan.

Hi, Dad.

I can hear what's going on.

We knew that was going to happen.

Listen, this is my, your husband, as you know, is a psycho my whole feed is people dying yeah people being paralyzed yeah people being shot at yeah um people falling and hurting themselves every now and then there's like a little like look at this weird one here i sent him one the other day where some dude died did you see this some guy fucking died and his last wish was to rent a helicopter and just drop cash from the sky for everybody and the whole fucking streets are out there and they're just letting cash fly out that's nice that was crazy i had to I have to try to break up the algorithm with shit like that because it's just pure murder on my because of what he's sending you is what you're saying.

Watching a guy just have his neck and spine snapped for 14 minutes on a bowl because they can't get them off.

Shit like that.

It's just jelly on there.

I'm like, God forbid.

That's awesome.

That was crazy, dude.

They can't get them off.

But Sickler, he has, so the other night, he said that he thinks I'm more mentally unwell than him.

But why?

I'm a sociopath.

I don't have feelings, and I'm crazier.

He thinks he's more.

He's a cold communist, dude.

Yeah, but I'm Eastern European.

This is cultural.

Okay, cultural killer.

Fine.

He thinks I'm way crazier.

No way.

But you think you're not because you just laugh at it and send it and say, no, no, he really enjoys it, though, Ryan.

You saw the joy when you brought these people in the middle of the day.

I get like three a day of horrific shit.

Look at him laughing on your head.

I know.

And I don't.

Yeah.

Whoa,

there are some other random ones scattered in there, too.

Oh, like what, Tom?

I'll just tell you all fair about that one.

There's all kinds of stuff.

All kinds.

That was a good one.

Classics.

That was a fucking fastball of the nuts, dude.

Terrible.

My favorite.

Have you ever seen when major league players

get mad at the ump and they fucking move out of the way or they'll drop the glove and hit the guy in the neck and shit?

That shit's coming in.

It's like 100 miles an hour at your neck.

Yeah.

Dude.

Dude, wasn't there a comic whose nuts got twisted catching?

He was a catcher of baseball.

Just thought get your nuts.

And he was like, you know, the catcher.

So he was crouched down and then he got hit in the nut with the ball and then it twisted his nuts.

I don't know.

Is that somebody?

And he lost the nut.

Yeah.

I want to say there's a guy in comedy.

How about when Mr.

Belvedere sat on his nuts?

Remember that?

I do remember that.

Yeah.

He was very upset.

He didn't like that.

He was very upset.

He was very upset.

They changed the taping that week.

We had a kid.

I don't want to say his name.

It was going to be.

We had a kid.

That's why they call it Belvedere.

You're off this week.

Why?

Mr.

Belvedere.

Oh, Belvedere sat on his ball bag over here.

We had a kid.

God, I don't want to say his name, but I'm going to say it.

This poor kid.

I won't say his first name.

We'll call it, say it was Joe.

His last name really was Dudo.

And the kid did a belly.

The story was he did a belly flop into a pole, hits, and his nuts tangle, and he has to lose line.

Fuck.

And they called a kid Joe Uno the rest of us.

That's just a tough time to have one ball, you know.

Later in life, you don't give a shit.

That age is rough.

And everybody knows that.

Hey, look who's here.

Joey Uno.

Everybody knows that.

Every day.

Everybody knows that.

Everywhere you go all day long, and now it's your nickname.

It's your nickname.

It's not just.

Then you go to your next place in life, and they're like, How come everybody calls you Uno?

And you're like, God damn it.

Or you think you escape it.

And then one day somebody sees you and says it, and everybody at work's like, What's that all about?

Like when we all knew Brody as Brody, but his whole upbringing, he was Steven to those people.

Who the fuck's Steven?

Yeah.

just to make it to high school like oh and everybody in high school knows that about you it's like that one girl that had butt sex butt sex becky and then you're just butt sex becky for four years yeah we had we had that backdoor becky she was backdoor becky yeah that's nice yeah yeah this it completely traumatized her traumatized her not the ass fucking in high school the making fun of the making fun of yeah because everybody would call her that she would just break down crying yeah it was horrible so maybe this is your story and I just made it mine.

When I think about it.

Oh, I'm not sure

who you're even looking at right now, Christine.

I'm not sure.

You look like the fucking hamburgler.

Oh, yeah.

You look like the goddamn hamburglar right now, for Christ's sake.

What was his stupidness?

Christina, you fucking hamburger.

Robble, rubble, rubble, rubble.

He was always going to jail.

He was.

Stealing burgers.

Stealing burgers.

Give me a burger.

What the fuck?

I thought she looked like Zorro

with the other hat on.

And gayer blade.

This is so bad.

Put my plastic surgery.

It's not settling.

You're fucking bullying over here.

And you went

shit talk.

It's not good.

I still got the stitches in, boys.

At least the stitches come out.

Oh, it's so funny, dude.

Rabble, rabble.

Rubble, rabble, rabble.

rubble.

Holy shit.

Oh, my God.

That's not a small man either.

No.

Play that again.

Holy shit.

What the fuck is that?

A yak?

What is that?

Look how high up that guy got.

Oh, fuck dude.

He could have stood on top of that car.

He threw him.

It threw him.

With just a flick of the neck.

Remember that other one I sent you where the guy went,

he went way to fucking over there.

Yeah, like nothing, too.

Yeah.

We're so weak.

I love people that think they're going to touch animals and shit.

Oh my god.

The music is ugly.

I think that's more music.

Yeah.

Oh, what the fuck?

That's a sewage line break in.

I was wondering, it's all brown.

Oh, God.

That guy's swimming in it.

Oh, that's man.

That's the worst.

That's like the worst thing that can happen to you.

Being in a pool of shit.

Just swimming in a pool of shit.

Other people's, not yours.

Yeah.

That's awful.

I don't want to be in my own shit.

Yeah.

I'd rather fall into a sinkhole.

Oh.

Fuck.

Just kill me.

That's what made me gag, man.

Yeah, that's really rough.

Oh, man.

What is Le Puton?

His fucking legs come up at back is ruined.

You hear it

so clearly they're on the floor.

He knocked the wind out of him too, it hurt like crazy.

Look at that right leg.

He's fucking

Why are you coming into work that excited anyway?

What the fuck do you gotta tell everybody you gotta come in that high?

You got some breaking news, man.

Settle the fuck up.

Step up the steps.

He thought he was gonna fly in all the way.

He did, man.

Especially that floor is so shiny.

It's so slick.

You know that floor.

It's too funny.

Rubble, rubble, rubble, rubble.

I just lost my headphones.

You fucker.

Oh, God.

I just lost my headphones.

Oh, they're back.

No way to cut out of that.

shit.

Oh my god.

I'm talking about India.

I don't like that.

What the hell happened to this?

The street cleaning spray.

He thought he would just ride through it

in his high pressure.

Yeah.

He doesn't realize I see pressure.

I didn't realize.

It fucked him up, dude.

He's tumbling like he's going down a cliff.

Oh, my God.

I thought you would get a kick out of this, too.

We played this before.

Beautiful soul.

So I want you to ask yourself, would you feeding your pussy today, beautiful soul?

Go in with intention and self-love and self-care.

Think about how it's going to digest in your body and attach to that pussy and what it's going to do, beautiful soul.

If you eat the fruit, it's going to go in that pussy and fruify it.

Meaning it's going to heal it and clean it and just flourish it with

a good ass drip.

And I'm gonna say that as kind as I can.

I'm Ryan, and I like fruity push.

I was about to say, I think we know a guy for her.

I'm Ryan, and

I want some fruity black ass.

Fruitified ass.

Fruity black ass.

Oh, fuck.

She's sweet, though.

I like her.

Yeah, she is.

I'll tell you who's not sweet.

She should sell something.

This bitch.

Stay there.

Don't let her.

Don't touch her.

No.

Don't touch her.

Don't touch her.

No, this is where her asshole is.

Do not touch her.

Look at her.

Shut up.

Fuck up.

Don't fucking touch me.

Miss.

Miss.

Step back.

Stop back.

Let go.

Let go.

Let go.

Let go.

Let go.

Let go of her hair.

You cannot do that.

Let go, Miss.

Let go of her hair.

I'm not.

Andrea.

I'm not even touching your hair, bitch.

Andrea, you need a police right now.

You need to let go.

You need those 9A1.

You need to let go.

9-1-1, baby.

You need to let go right now.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

I didn't want to sit next to a fucking fat lady, the gold hunter.

You guys are already past the point in your turn.

You're already past the point in

here.

And I saw Pramis.

Y'all see me.

You know what's going on.

It just retarded.

Yeah, put me on the ground.

Put me on the ground.

This chick is awesome.

I know.

I wish I were on this flight.

I want to see this shit in person.

Me too.

I never get to.

I never do either.

I never see anything.

Oh, yeah, make that bigger.

That's

Liana Perry, a 32-year-old passenger from the Big Apple.

Whoever fucking writes that article,

was arrested and charged with aggravated assault after a meltdown before takeoff around 1 a.m.

Tuesday.

Port Authority Police said video from inside the cabin shows several passengers and employees grappling with the crazed passenger.

She holds onto a woman's hair and calls calls her a fat ass bitch.

Let go of her hair.

They claim that she claims to not be touching the other woman's hair, despite having a handful of it.

Yeah.

It's cool.

It's pretty cool.

Look at this fat lady.

Look at this fat ass bitch.

She can't even...

Look, you can't even see her stomach.

It's horrible.

Look at her outfit.

Look at this fat ass bitch.

Hilarious.

You can't even show your mouth because you're embarrassed.

You can't even see it You're embarrassed.

Shut the fuck up.

Who is the moment?

Sorry, I can't hear you.

I can't hear you, ugly ass fucking dude.

He's never gonna lay it again.

Okay, I'm sorry, black guy.

My boyfriend's black, so shut the fuck up.

My boyfriend's fucking a black guy.

My boyfriend's a black.

My boyfriend's black.

My boyfriend's a fucking black guy.

You're joking.

Oh, wait for it.

I knew it was coming.

I knew it was coming.

That's a dick move.

Shut the fuck up.

Well, that's aggravated assault.

I learned that because Archie kind of bricked up, though, with her.

Like, she's just

there's something hot about her.

I'll tell you what needs.

She needs she needs to be dicked down.

Yeah.

A good that dude does not get ever getting laid again.

Take her home.

Yeah.

Give her a shot.

Do you think she had the coffee with the Adderall and the Viacro?

She's a cop.

That's exactly how you would do it.

I'm a police officer.

She's like, talk to my loot.

Talk to my chief of police.

God damn.

I'm undercover.

Sorry, take this on.

I'm just doing what I was trained to do.

We got in a fight in indoor soccer in Baltimore City.

We got in a lot of fights, but this one, I don't know why our goalie or our goalie, as Christina will call him, our Goldie

spit on the ref.

Whoa.

And they arrested him on the field, and we were like 19, and we're like...

They arrested him on the field?

Oh, yeah, on the field.

I played goalie after that, and I wasn't a goalie.

And we go to bail him out after the game.

We're like, like, we'll come down and get you out.

And that the charges they hit him with were aggravated assault.

Because of the spitting?

Spitting, yeah.

He's spitting a man's fucking face.

Why didn't he spit?

Because the ref just.

It was a melee fight and a ref said something.

He said, spit in the ref's face.

And a ref called 911.

They came down and arrested him on the field.

That's wild.

I didn't know that.

I've actually spit on a girl once.

It's a form of assault.

You did that in your 20s?

Yeah.

Well, I'll tell you what.

All right.

I'll tell you why, dude.

I was dating this guy.

And this fucking bitch, long story short, fucked my boyfriend, and then I saw her at a party, and I was all, bitch, I know you fuck my boyfriend, and then she was afraid of me, so she left the party, and I was like a second-story Victorian in San Francisco, and I stuck my head out the window.

I'm like, I fucking know you're a whore.

And I said her name, fucking Stephanie.

Yeah.

And then I spit on her.

Did you get her?

I don't even think so.

I was so drunk and angry.

I don't even know.

It just felt good to spit on a bitch, you know?

Okay.

All right.

So look at you now, man.

If she could see you now, hamburgler.

If she could, Stephanie could see you now, dude.

How many burgers you done scrumped up?

Rubble, rubble, rub.

How many burgers did I steal since then?

Since the 90s?

Rubble, rubble.

There you are.

Here come the Photoshops, guys.

Oh,

shit.

Dude, they used to put long hair on that dude.

And even the stripe on this jacket?

That's what, listen.

That's wild.

Once, we've been talking for a while, and i looked down and i saw the stripe and that's what made me think of the hamburger i'm like this chick looks like the goddamn hamburger

glasses and the hat

oh my god dude

so rad here we go i can't wait for the photos oh have you followed any recent will smith stuff oh my gosh

i've seen the horrible rap that people are like oh y'all woke will smith up like i don't think anybody woke him up and then the one where he's in like the city streets trying to get the people hyped and no one even gives a shit that he's there.

So weird.

Yeah.

This is, I think, from an interview that was so goddamn weird.

For the first time in my career, having to deal with a level of disapproval that I never had to experience.

What is making a mistake in front of the world?

How do you handle that?

It's brutal.

It's brutal.

It's brutal.

But beautiful.

The addiction to the approval of others that I had to dissolve.

Brutiful.

It was brutal.

I think we need that word.

It makes a lot of sense.

No, it doesn't.

Stop yes ending that fucking thing.

But it's like, you know, finding that way to be able to be with my own humanity, be able to not be perfect, but be human and find a higher power in my humanity than I found in my constellation of ideas of perfection that we called Will Smith.

The fullness of who I am

to allow that to be better than Will Smith.

The honesty and the authenticity and the broader spectrum of the possibilities of who I am is actually better than Will Smith.

So that, like working in that space of authenticity and honesty and imperfection, allowing that to grow into a higher perfection than the imagery of Will Smith is where I am as an artist and as a human right now.

How about, hey, Chris Rock?

I'm so sorry.

Yeah, fuck that.

How about that?

How about that?

How about you shut your wife's fucking your son's friends?

You walked up on stage.

You slapped a man in his face.

If I was Chris Rock, I would have sued this dumb motherfucker.

I would have sued the Academy.

I'm working for you that night.

You let this motherfucker get up and slap me across the fucking face.

Fuck this clown.

Fuck Will Smith.

What an idiot.

It's brutal.

It's brutal.

And then to allow myself the unfolding of the perfection.

It's like, why don't you say the truth?

I'm humiliated.

Yeah.

It was embarrassing.

My wife's fucking my son's friends, and I lost my shit.

I got up on stage in front of the world and I smacked the shit out of Chris Rock.

You didn't deserve that, Chris Rock.

I'm so sorry.

I'm embarrassed.

If anyone deserved it, it wasn't you, Chris Rock.

But if I say who really deserved it, I'll go cancel Chris Rock.

So I apologize apologize for hitting you when you were the person I did not want to slap, Chris Rock.

I really wanted to slap somebody else, but I can't do that because it's my wife.

And honestly, my wife will probably kick my ass.

But can you imagine the level of bullshit that Jada and him say to each other on a fucking daily basis?

This, the way he's talking.

You know, that's how they talk in that house.

Of course.

How was today?

It was brutal.

Oh, yes.

You got to be like, yeah, I know what you mean.

What were your wins today?

Oh, well, I'll slap Chris Rock.

That'd be awesome.

You're Trying to dissolve the delusion of self while also trying to shape away from the addiction to approval that is the idea of Will Smith, which is my name, right?

I say my name when I talk about this.

That's what we call Will Smith.

It's like, you know, when I pull, it's like almost like I poured this liquid into a container and then it hardened.

You know what I mean?

Like brutiful.

And then I cracked that container and it stayed strong.

You know what I mean?

But then I dropped the elbow on and it came came down like 9-11 and just spread out everywhere.

And I'm like, well, now there's a bunch of brutiful things, not just one brutal thing.

And I started taking that and I started throwing them at people, you know what I mean?

Not as like rocks, but as gifts.

Yes.

Giving them my love as parts of me.

I'm just spreading out everywhere.

Yes.

Brutal.

I love this.

I love this too.

I had to be loved this down on them and let me know.

I love this love for you.

Thank you.

I'm blessed.

Wonderful.

Also, you fucked up when you slapped that guy.

I did.

I should have.

It's Chris Rock.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

Then it's over.

That's it.

That's all he has to do.

But do you see his ego is, I mean, look, he's been famous for so long.

Nobody's told this man the truth about anything since he was, what, 20 years old, 18 years old?

Nobody's had the audacity to be like, you fucked up, you dummy.

Yeah.

And this is the level of ego and delusion with celebrities.

that go totally unchecked for this fucking long.

Yep.

And that guy's going to sit there and go, oh, we need to put that in our vernacular right now.

No, we don't.

No, we don't.

Oh, brutiful.

I love that shit, man.

No, we don't.

Yeah, of course.

We should put that in the wiki,

the dictionary.

We shouldn't put that anywhere.

Impactful.

Brutiful.

You should just say, I'm fucking sorry, Chris Rock.

Don't ever let us get that way.

See, sometimes, this is the thing I've learned about life.

You must have already that way.

You want to have control of things.

You want what you want now, but sometimes you just got to let life play out.

And the longer

I've had to learn, because I've been very very reactive in my life instead of like thinking and letting things go that's brutal thank you and the long so so is your outfit it's brutal

it's brutal and beautiful christine

like you're surge i make my eyes ruth all right go ahead but if you just let life do its thing yes most of the time it takes care of himself yes right takes care of itself who would have thought

DJ Jazzy Jeff's the cool one in the end.

How about that?

I know.

How about that?

He was always robbing the Batman.

Now it looks like this motherfucker's

just lose it.

He's gone.

He's gone.

I don't know what happened to that dude.

It's kind of like the Mark Wahlberg not joining New Kids on the block.

You know what I mean?

Like, he was the algorithm.

Because he beat an Asian almost a dynamic.

So I think there was a reason.

It's definitely a reason.

But, like, he got in the end.

It was good for Mark Wahlberg.

Where's the rest of those guys?

Yeah.

Hanging tight.

Well, if I could say something without the record,

I'm about to go off and

film this feature film and I've been looking at like who is Tom?

And in the film I won't play Tom, I'll play other characters.

And so coming to like a place of acceptance within myself to allow myself to be these other people is really this transformative process.

Yes.

Tell us about how you're going to shed your Tom skin and slip into that cover of a new person.

Wow.

Ryan, I don't know.

I don't know.

That's brutal.

That is brutal.

I'll just show up, and I hope the process takes care of itself.

What a, that's an interesting way to go about it.

Can you, but can you imagine?

That's how actors talk about what they

were playing make-believe.

And they're like, you know, when I was playing the project.

Because this, you know, this reminded me of?

When that Nosferadu came out and those two broads were doing interviews everywhere.

Nah, name, Nosferadu.

Was it?

It was wicked.

Oh, wicked, wicked.

Ariana Grande.

Yeah, that would hold space map.

Oh, my God.

And they would hold hands and cry.

They'd cry in every interview.

They're like, you're such a beautiful person.

They couldn't.

They couldn't get through it.

They're beautiful.

So bizarre.

And what was interesting about my character and the song is that it allowed people to hold the space to feel.

And then the interviewer asked.

Do you want to say I like ass.

Yeah.

I'm Ryan.

Yeah.

And I like black ass.

Black ass.

God damn.

That must have been what it really said.

It really

is.

You must have just seen an S.

Will you play these two psychos doing their whole holding hands?

People are taking the lyrics of defying gravity and really holding space with that.

Yeah.

I didn't know that that was happening.

Oh, my God.

I've seen it, yeah.

Yes.

Really powerful.

That's why I wanted.

There we go.

Hold hands.

Hold hands.

I didn't know that was happening.

I've seen it on a couple posts.

I don't know how widespread, but you know, I am in queer media, so that's my

cool.

It's really cool.

You know, Tom, people were watching Bad Thoughts in that sketch when you shit yourself.

Yeah.

You really connected with so many people that have had a loss of bowel control.

And I just want you to know, is that happening?

That you...

It is happening, Tom.

People are shitting themselves

in solidarity and holding their shits and their space with your shits in space.

That means so much to me.

Yeah, I've seen a few posts about it.

You saw a couple of posts?

Just like one or two of them.

So I'm going to bring it up in this whole interview in front of really famous people about a big movie.

Two people said something.

That's what journalism is now.

I think I read something somewhere.

I think I saw something once.

Wow, what?

You're really doing research.

You're going deep.

They've read something on Twitter.

She said people are holding some shit.

People are talking about it.

She said, I didn't know that was happening.

I saw it.

She said, I've seen it.

And so I'm thinking, like, oh, she saw people at a park or something holding some faces.

I saw a couple of posts.

Some people wrote some shit about it.

Yeah.

Can I actually tell you a story I have never told you quickly about

a shit story that happened on bad thoughts?

On bad thoughts?

On bad thoughts.

And I'm going to apologize in advance if this came out of your personal budget, but

I had been asked to come down and

I reset my schedule because I was flying into Detroit Friday to do a show and then Saturday Minneapolis.

And I redid my schedule to come into Austin for two days and to fly from Austin to Detroit to Minneapolis.

And I'm just all over the place.

I'm running around.

I'm not eating.

I'm not doing anything.

I get to your shoot and they're like, get here at 8.30.

I'm like, I get there at 8.30.

I don't work until 8 p.m.

that night in hindsight.

And I'm just there all day.

And all of a sudden...

I have to take the shit that I haven't taken in like two days because I'm traveling and everything.

And I know what's going to happen.

My trailer's here.

Two trailers down are the toilets.

I go in and I know what's going on.

And I know that that foot pump ain't going to take care of this.

You know what I'm saying?

It's one of those boat, you know, boat toilets.

I'm like,

I don't care how many people you got.

But you know what's coming, I'm saying.

You know, it's going to be a bad thing.

Oh, no doubt.

And it's exactly what I think it is.

And I hit the pedal, and exactly what I think is going to happen happens.

Nothing.

And I'm like, oh, fuck.

So thank God no one comes in.

I leave.

And I mean, it's a lot.

And I just go back down to my trailer.

And within two minutes, I hear somebody walk in.

I hear, Jesus Christ.

Oh, fuck.

And you're changing locations.

You're going from that mental hospital to the gym.

That's where we're at.

And I don't get a ride.

They tell me to take an Uber over.

Later, a guy's like, why you just ride with us?

I was like, they told me to take an Uber over.

I got out of there as quick as I fucking could.

I got that Uber.

I was like,

this guy gets on a walkie talk, and I hear him like off the click.

He's like, Yeah, let them know we're going to be one down on the other location, man.

I'm going to have to work on this thing.

And I am dying in there, like, this poor son of a bitch.

I fucked that trailer up, dude.

I had never told.

That's a big shit, man.

They took it down, dude.

He's like, nah, nah, nah.

This is what they come, man.

What do we got over there?

We got any room over there?

We're going to need a couple extra.

I was in there holding space.

You know what I'm saying?

Lots of space.

So for people that don't know.

If you go back and look at the bottom line, I'm curious if

you like a thing.

Someone had to come.

If they docked me, they're like, well, you would have had more.

It's $20,000 to fix the trailer toilet.

People who haven't seen Lefty's Son, you can watch that now.

But you have a new one.

You know what?

Can I say this real quick?

Thank you all because you supported that special when it came out.

YouTube demonetized it.

It's very close to a million views.

They told me I glorified cannabis.

They demonetized it after three weeks and pulled it out of the algorithm.

It's still over 900,000.

Get that fucking thing to a million views.

New specials coming out, Lefty Sun.

Check out The Honey Doo.

Oh, Live and Alive.

I mean, Lefty Sun is the one you got to go watch.

New special coming live and alive.

Go check out The Honey Dew.

Go check out The Wayback.

I'm really having a great time on that podcast.

And I can't wait to see you with your brothers.

Yeah,

that's going to be a minute, but we just shot like we shot two 10-hour days of content in that junkyard.

I got a ton of episodes, ton of stuff coming.

So it's always going to be great.

Thank you.

Well, it's always good to see you, man.

Good to see you.

Ryan Sickler and all your social media.

Thank you guys.

This is Ryan.

We love you.

Bye, guys.

You're obviously a smart girl.

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You're attracted to me.

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We could do six or eight.

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We could do six or eight.

Look, man.

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Look, man.

You're obviously attracted to me.

We are obviously two catches that have actually come together.

Here are two catches that have come together.

Here are two catches that have come together.

Here are obviously two catches that have actually uh come together.

Here are two catches that have come together.

We could do six or eight, we could do six or eight.

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Here are two catches that have come together.

Literally the best hidden kept gem in the city.

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Here are two catches that have come together.

We can do six or eight, we can do six or eight.

We are two cabbages that have come together.

We are two cabbages that have come together.

Here are two cabbages that have come together.

We are two cabbages that have come together.