It's An Austrian Painter Summer! | Your Mom's House Ep. 816

South Carolina and Georgia.

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Well, welcome.

Welcome to your mom's house.

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Oh,

yeah.

Speaking of, yeah, I don't know what this is with you,

but it is now officially a Hitler summer

because you've been watching your Hitli docs in bed.

But I love Jewish people, but I also love Nazis.

Go ahead.

You do this every summer.

Heather pointed this out.

Yeah.

That every summer you get into Hitler and World War II and you go down this rabbit hole.

What is it about joy and summer?

I like his name, to be honest.

Hitler.

What is it about summertime?

Summertime is wartime.

You know, I was just going through

the library of options.

Yeah.

And

I just got a little

tickle for

some World War II stuff.

So I started the World War II doc series.

It's a six-episode series, I think.

In color, which is nice to see.

You know, there's just so much that goes on.

Like, you think you know a story, and then you forget just

how many different little stories are in something like World War II.

It's just fascinating.

So, I just, yeah, I jump into it.

But, what about the idea of summer and freedom and good weather and

lightning bugs and barbecues and boats makes you go World War II?

I don't know.

I think I cycle in and out of war docks, though.

Yeah.

Like, I haven't seen one in a while, so I was like, eh, kind of time for a refresher.

Because where were you before?

I'm trying to remember.

Were you into Pearl Harbor?

What were you interested in?

What, last time?

Like, prior to World War II.

Oh,

I was just watching.

I mean, I watched a few docks.

I watched the Tylenol one.

I watched the bin Laden one.

Oh, that's where you were, the Middle East.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So it could have been a bin Laden summer, but

you know, the bin Laden dock was fantastic, but that's only three episodes.

Like once you get into it, you know, it's really good.

I mean, they had, they got really incredible people to do that, like to agree to be on the dock, you know, really?

Yeah.

The former CIA director, Leon Panetta,

a bunch of high-ranking people that were, including the person that planned the raid.

The commander, the naval commander.

Some people from SEAL Team 6 were in it.

And just, yeah, like a lot of high-ranking people talking about that whole

basically journey of tracking him and everything that was behind the scenes, you know, of like how they figured out.

I mean, I know people kind of know, you know, the courier was

the connection to figuring it out, but having them lay it out.

And when you see how long it takes, that's the thing about these, you know, clandiston operations.

It's like they have to be so patient.

And they're just, you're tracking, they had to track this guy for like thousands of miles.

You know what I mean?

Like, he's in one country going through all this terrain, switching vehicles, switching hands, and like tracking, tracking.

And then he just ends up in Pakistan in, what is it, Abbottabad?

Abbottabad.

And they, they just see this house and they're like, this house is fucking weird, man.

Like, it has 15-foot walls.

And, you know, then they like are figuring out who, like, how many people live there.

They're looking at the trash that they, and they burn the trash, and they're watching people come in and out.

And then they figure out that they're like, oh no, they thought two families live there.

They're like, there's a third family that lives here, and they live on this

level.

And then they're using satellites to, you know, to see what they can.

And

it looks really good.

It's pretty cool.

It's a cool room that he was chilling.

But this satellite imagery just had this

guy that would pace every day.

You know?

And they had to use, I forget what it's called, when you use,

they see the image and the shadow that he casts, and then they figured out that by the shadow, that

this individual, because they couldn't see him head-on, was the same height.

as Bin Laden.

And he was a tall guy.

He was a tall guy, yeah.

Wow.

So what you're saying is Bin Laden is longer than a summer.

World War II, you could figure that war out in a summer.

No, the opposite.

Oh, no, Bin Laden is longer than a summer.

Bin Laden's a quick watch.

Oh, so it should have been a Bin Laden summer.

Well, no, because you need more.

Bin Laden's a weekend watch.

Oh, even less.

World War II is a...

That's a full-time job.

It's a full-time job.

Sorry.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm going to wrap up this one probably tonight, and then I'm going to start another World War II doc.

What do you got your paws on?

I I don't know yet.

I'm looking at there's a lot of options.

Might do Vietnam too.

I don't know.

You do cycle into Vietnam eventually in summertime.

It's a warm climate.

That was a jungle war.

That makes sense for you.

Yeah.

See, that would make more sense of Vietnam summer, a World War II winter.

Oh, I see what you mean.

Because so you're saying maybe save this next World War II doc for the holidays.

That's what I'm talking about.

Like Thanksgiving Christmas.

That's what I'm talking about.

Hey, boys, gather around.

We're going to watch a documentary

about Stalingrad.

Yeah, when your mother's around, your sister's a fam.

My dad could sit and watch that shit for weeks on end in a row.

Wake up, watch it, sit on it.

Watch this right here.

These tanks.

See, these tanks didn't actually have on the right rudders on them.

You just kind of mumble it to it, and you're like, cool, man.

Loved it.

You would walk in six hours later and you just hear fucking machine guns going off.

Like, you still watching the?

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

It was pretty neat.

Yeah, and he's laying there in his chonies.

I know exactly what you're talking about.

That house is a little bit more.

Yeah, but you watch these things.

I didn't, like, I had no idea that

they were trying to get Germany, obviously, to surrender.

That at one point they gave the directive to British and American troops, just bomb Hamburg and kill civilians.

They're so desperate, I think.

Yeah, yeah.

So, yeah, they're years into the war, and then they're like, just destroy Hamburg.

I didn't know that.

There's so many details.

That's what I'm saying.

How would you know that, Tom?

Well, I know.

Don't beat yourself.

And here's the craziest thing.

They fucking bombed the shit out of Hamburg.

I mean, this place was fucking pretty much destroyed.

And then they had all

survivors go into, like, I guess, like, a postal service building operation.

And then the Brits were like, bomb that.

Oh, my God.

To kill all the civilians.

Just to get her done.

Yeah.

To really put some fear into Hitler's heart.

Yeah.

And then Hitler was like,

ah, ah.

Do you know what's so funny?

So my father will tell people where to visit in Europe dependent upon whether or not Hitler bombed it during World War II.

That's where to visit?

Well, no.

Meaning if Hitler didn't bomb it, it's a nicer European city.

Oh, that's right.

And that's just true because Hitler didn't, you know, tear it all to pieces.

So you have like the original European buildings and such that you can actually see.

The other interesting thing about this dock is they have a lot of like super old people that fought in the war in it, you know?

Super old people.

Oh, that's cool.

They're still around.

They're still around.

And you hear them talk about, like, it's just interesting.

Like, some guy who's like, I hated the Americans.

You want to hear that?

Like that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's like, that's so annoying with their McDonald's.

They're so loud in the subways.

And then, and then whenever they have the American on, it's like an 87-year-old guy.

He's like, so we

stormed that beach, and there's fucking Japs everywhere.

He's like, and there are only a handful of Japs left when we left.

Nice, real nice.

I know.

It's so funny because now they don't even, they try not to, well, the idea being like, we have drones that do the killing for us, so we don't have to do that.

That type of war will never happen again, really.

I hope.

I mean, look, no, none of it's great.

No, of course not.

Oh, my goodness.

These people were just

traumatized.

These men were so traumatized.

When you see footage, like one thing you don't think about is when there's a war at sea and you're on an aircraft carrier.

You didn't think about this until you're actually watching this because someone will have a camera on deck.

There's planes approaching firing and the guys that work on the deck just hit the deck.

They just lay on the deck.

And then fucking a plane flies over that's firing bombs and shooting machine guns at it.

You're like, holy shit.

And then they just pop up and they just run around.

Yeah, it's really crazy.

You just hope that you don't get hit.

All of them were like, I'm probably going to die today.

It's wild.

How do you even, I don't know how they sleep at night, how they function.

Because you just train, train, train until you're just like, I'm a war machine.

I'm a killing machine.

There's a scene in this show, The New Look, about Coco Chanel and Christian Dior and how they navigated World War II.

And it's a great, the idea being you think you would do differently or be a better person, but really, would you?

Because you're just trying to survive.

That's the thing.

It's all about survival for most people.

Right.

It's a great moral question.

And at one point, Coco Chanel is meeting with some Intel guy and some German or whatever.

And she's literally, she's in Paris and she's standing there and she's like, do I have to be here?

The bombs are falling right behind me.

And she's literally like, I'm fucking Coco Chanel.

Yeah.

And I'm standing in Paris and right behind me, the bombs are falling.

And she's like standing nervously waiting for this guy to come meet her.

And you're like, that's how it was.

Yeah.

People are just like, oh, yeah, they're just bombing some shit behind me right now.

You know what nobody ever talks about, though, with Hitley?

What's that guy?

He was a great friend.

He was a great friend.

To animals.

No.

To people.

To Mussolini.

Nobody talks about it.

No, that's true.

We learned that in the morning.

Because I'm watching the doc, right?

And when the Italians are just done with Mussolini, they're like, we're done with this fuck.

Yeah.

And they start just like rioting and going crazy.

Guess what Hitley does?

What?

He sends a plane to to pick up Mussolini because he's worried sick about him.

He's worried sick about him.

He's like, get in, loser.

He's like, get in here.

And he fly, and then he greets him.

He gets off and he's like, you okay?

Yeah, I swear.

Just a couple of bros.

Yeah.

And here's the thing.

Say what you want about Hitler, but you can't say he was a bad friend to his friends.

And they both have an aesthetic sense.

They share an aesthetic sensibility here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Same kind of outfit.

No one ever talks about the guy had a great smile.

Hitler?

Yeah.

Did he have nice teeth?

I don't know about that, but it's just a beautiful smile.

Sure.

His eyes really lit up when he smiled.

How come we never see these shots?

Oh, look at it.

Look at that.

Guy's having the time of his life.

Just goofing around with his friends.

How about a little more photos like this?

That's the guy I remember.

You know what I mean?

Hello.

He's just saying hi.

Hey.

Hello.

Hi.

Vigates.

How's everyone doing?

He's just waving.

See, loving.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's a Hitler summer for him, too.

Yeah, they always show that photo.

Yeah.

The stern.

Yeah, it's like, oh, that's how you got to remember him.

You got to remember him like, hmm.

But here's the real guy.

You know?

I get it, Tom.

I get it.

But again, great friend to Mussolini.

And I just want it to be

out there.

All right.

Here's your opening clip.

Are you ready?

I need a pen when you have a chance, Josh.

What would have happened had there been a 14-year-old girl here, Tim, and not me or the Polk County Sheriff's Office?

Well, you'd have ate her ass.

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He did not say that.

Welcome to your mom's house.

Meow, meow, meow.

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

You eat her ass?

You'd have ate her ass.

He did not straight up say that.

He said that.

And then I like how the guy goes,

you and I?

Yeah.

He's thinking it for sure.

Paul County Sheriff's Office.

Well, you'd have ate her ass.

I don't know.

Yeah.

It's possible.

I mean, it is what I proposed as the idea.

He proposed that to a a 14-year-old?

Well, I mean, I'm deducing that from the conversation.

Yeah, me too.

That's really wild for a 14-year-old to be on board with.

Wow, I didn't know that.

Well, it's not that.

It's somebody posing as a 14-year-old.

Oh, right.

That's how they got him.

Yeah.

That's how they got him, Tom.

Somebody was like, come on over.

I'm watching a movie.

He's like, how about I come over and eat your ass?

She's like, oh, I've never done that.

And then you show up and it's Chris Hansen.

Do you think the chats with these

are like Keanu AI, where you're like, wow, this chick's really overly cool.

Like, this 14-year-old knows what ass eating is.

I mean, probably your reptilian brain takes over, and you're just like, cool, this is the one I've been looking for.

Yeah, I'm sure that they, when they look back on it, they're probably like, oh, yeah, this is not, I got, I got caught.

Yeah, I got bamboozled here.

Yeah.

There's no 14-year-olds.

He's like, trying to get my ass eaten today.

What are you doing?

Yeah.

Yeah.

He's like, what you doing, girl?

Just trying to get my ass eaten.

Yeah.

And he's like, funny enough,

I'm into eating ass.

So if you want.

What a coincidence.

What a coincidence.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And he looks like he likes 14-year-olds.

They always look the part.

Sell all my holes with your delicious man's bread and want to overflow your love juice from my orifices like a broken toilet.

Can you?

Yeah, new.

Do you need money?

Ding, ding, ding.

Fucked a lot, man.

Yeah.

You bet I'm coming up in May

Keanu.

He's so worked up today.

Taylor Keanu Reeves is fucking doing this.

Everyone thought he was a good guy.

You're welcome to spit on me, slap me, and be yours today because that's what I am.

Wow.

I need to get fucked alive, man.

It's so crazy.

I didn't know he was like this.

I didn't know this either, man.

Tom and Christina, you are both so hilarious and attractive my racially ambiguous hog is throbbing for your comedy oh my god wow i didn't know he was such a fan i didn't know that either tom your thick peruvian cock is so vascular it makes me salivate like a dog hungry for a bone

wow jesus wow Kanu.

Keanu's really just a dirt dog.

Dude, he's so horny.

I had no idea.

And he's broke.

That's the craziest thing.

That's the craziest thing.

He's probably made $400 million.

Where did those dollars go?

Just to fucking cool people.

You got to send him Bitcoin.

Yeah.

Here's the thing.

You cannot wire me US dollar.

That had to have been the best part.

She's like, I can send you.

He's like, no, no, go get some Bitcoin first.

Then get me that.

That's so random.

Why?

Because it's just legal shit.

God, I'm in a fucking bind.

Can you just get some Bitcoin?

You realize, too, that woman had zero idea how to get Bitcoin.

I don't know either.

No, but I'm saying that lady had to be like, I need Bitcoin today.

Yeah.

She's like, can I go to 7-Eleven and get Bitcoin?

How do I buy it?

I would have no idea.

And then he walked her through it.

It was like, go here, go to this site, register this.

Don't put too much information.

And then, yeah, and send me that code.

And then, yeah, then you'll help me get out of this bind I'm in.

Oh, anything.

Yeah, I'm trying to help Keanu Reeves out.

A ding, ding, ding, ding.

Ding, ding, ding.

We need that as a drop.

That's just, we have it, I think.

Ding, ding, ding.

What a dummy.

Jesus.

Ding, ding, ding.

So fucking stupid.

Ding, ding, ding.

Yeah.

Hey, mommy, show me how those big tits fart.

Wow, he knows your thing.

What the hell?

God.

How can it?

Wow, mommy, you are so funny and talented and creative and nice and beautiful and physically attractive to me.

Wow, do you know what I like at the end of that?

He got real sultry.

He was so attractive to me.

Yeah.

Well, he says something about you being creative.

And funny enough, you have some creative things.

Yes.

So I wanted to bring to light, Josh, Zola, thank you so much for pointing this out, that Adrian Brody, the actor, has been selling his artwork to the public.

And let me tell you, he's been crushing it.

Crushing it.

And the reviews from the art world

are pretty fucking rough.

Well, they don't know good art when they see it.

That's the problem.

Yeah, it says the actor's art gets gets brutalized

in a review.

Well, who's well, but I saw some other art

world people that were saying that it is absolutely

horrendous and hideous.

Yeah.

Let me see.

Let's see what he's got.

Let's see.

Alex Greenberger of Art News says it's bad.

Oh, okay.

So it looks

like pop art shit.

Yeah.

Like deco-podge.

If you're listening to this, so

it's

so he has 425 grand.

I mean, this is great.

So he sold this.

It looks like a collage, and then Marilyn Monroe's in the middle, the Hollywood sign in the background.

It's just like a collage of different Maryland sales.

Well, I will say this, though.

Just to be fair to this right now, because I didn't realize this when I heard his art had sold for that much.

It looks like that one sold for almost $425,000.

It's for a benefit and includes a lunch with him.

Oh, that's wow.

But I'm saying that's somebody

who's doing that to also, it's it's to contribute to whatever the benefit is.

It's not just somebody going, I want to buy this art for this much money.

I agree.

I see what you're saying.

It's a little bit different.

I see what you're saying.

The intent is different, but do we have any other of his, any more of his work that we can critique and sort of look at?

Because

I agree.

That particular piece, I feel like we've seen in galleries before.

Yeah.

It's a little been done.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's pop art shit.

It's pop art.

He's collaging like Betty Boop.

Is that like a band?

It's not that

notably.

It's just, you've seen it, like you said.

Yeah, you've seen it.

I have a piece of art like that from a gallery when we were on the road,

but it hangs in a garage.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, it's just like a fun, they're like fun things I, you know.

But he's not selling all of these and giving it to charity.

He is profiting, right?

I'm assuming not all of these are for charity.

I like the Bugs Buddy one.

I have no idea.

I think he's fine.

I think it's fine.

Adrian Brody's art is horrendous.

Oh, gosh, you guys.

Why are people pretending it isn't?

Well, I don't think it's horrendous.

I don't think it's hard.

It's no different than the shit that is in galleries now.

What's the diff?

I think they don't like him.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know either.

Listen, the point is, seeing Adrian Brody's skulls.

I wonder what these are.

Can you see what they're listed for at this gallery, at the Eden Gallery, whatever that is?

I cannot imagine they're listing these for six figures.

That's so insane.

That's so good.

Yeah, that would be really crazy.

People brutally mock Adrian Brody's art.

Yeah, what is that?

Broducks?

Bro, so he made like a Starbucks symbol, but he called it Brodux,

which isn't even like, like, it's like Banksy is clever with his stuff, right?

Like, it's funny.

Oh, my God.

Yeah, yeah.

No, that's.

His stuff's really really cool.

22,000.

Yeah, that's that's like more in line with what that kind of stuff would go for, probably, like, in the teens.

And,

you know, part of that's his name.

And

I think that one that everyone keeps citing is really because it was for a benefit, you know?

Yeah.

So they just made the price real crazy.

That was, oh, wow, look at this.

Sold a lot of what?

But see, that's Hedagala.

Like, that's that's not.

Yeah, that's for charity.

It's for charity.

Wow.

Okay, so this is really interesting.

That's in line with what I'm going to propose here in a moment.

Yeah, tell me what you're doing.

So in light of Adrian Brody's success, I was thinking I'm going to start putting my art up for sale.

And like, I want to sell the original piece.

And

I've been working on something for a while.

I need money.

I'm drowning in legal troubles that I cannot elaborate on right now.

Please send me money and I will send you my love.

Yes?

So I've

this is my first piece that I'm going to be putting out there for sale in light of Adrian Brody.

Is that Adrian's or yours?

No, this one's my original.

No, that's yours.

Okay.

This one's my original.

That feels Adrian-like.

What the fuck are you talking about?

I did that with my hand.

That's oil pastels with my hand.

I'm saying like I could see this in a gallery.

Oh, okay.

As long as you mean it like that.

No, I meant it as a compliment.

No, I meant it as a compliment.

Well, yes.

is there a list price for the original?

For the original?

Well, first of all, let me tell you a little bit about this piece before we jump straight to the price.

That's really

tacky of me.

I'm sorry.

I just want this.

I want the context.

You know, every great piece of art has a story, okay?

This one is about my struggle.

Oh, my struggle with breast cancer

and this difficult year that I've had with my mortality and existence.

And that's why I've made this piece of art.

It's called Fuck Around and Find Out.

That's what this is called?

Yes.

And it's a cat, and he's not playing games.

So I'm going to be selling this original piece.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

10,000 US dollars.

Wow.

Not Bitcoin.

U.S.

dollars.

Okay.

10 grand.

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And 10 grand.

Where can they buy it?

Where are we going to post this, Josh?

I think on the YMH store.

Story.ymhstudios.com.

Let's see if that actually.

Yeah.

I need to get in on this Adrian Brody business plan.

I'm going to do this first.

Let's see if it.

Well, can people buy prints who can't afford the?

We'll see.

I don't know yet.

I may just sell the original and

if the response was great, then I may sell the prints.

Limited run.

10 grand.

Yeah.

Seems reasonable to me.

It seems totally reasonable.

You know how much work went into this cat?

How long?

Just hours, days of me thinking about the color scheme.

And like, look how I fucking, look at the bottom, bro.

bro you see how like the fur fucking looks all soft and shit i did that bro that looks great it really does look cool yeah it's really cool this cat's a killer dude yeah i'm super stoked about it and 10 grand i feel like you could own this put this in your house frame it whatever you know very cool yeah it'll just bring joy get in here and suck us up nasty flip ass bitch hey get it hey get up in here and suck us up

Head mustard, gobble ass bitch, head mustard, gobbling ass bitch, sea creature, sea-crawling ass bitch.

See, this is the type of misogyny that my artwork addresses.

Yeah, you know, like in addition to being cancer survivor, mother, um, Eastern European immigrant, it's also about misogyny and patriarchy and all that stuff, too.

He's so aggressive, this guy.

Yeah, it's a lot, bad.

It's yeah, he

suck us up, you see creature ass bitch.

Like, it's really

demeaning.

It's a woman that likes to be demeaned a little bit.

Yes, or maybe she's, I don't know if she likes it, she's just used to it.

You know what I mean?

Bitch, get in here and and suck us up.

She's like, that sounds pretty inviting.

Yeah.

I mean, sea creature, sea-crawling ass bitch.

A sea creature,

sea-crawling ass bitch.

That's for somebody who's abused a lot.

Yeah.

And then they're like, who's just like,

that feels right.

Yeah.

God, I think about this all the time.

If I might just compliment you.

Yeah.

Don't compliment that bitch.

Don't compliment that bitch.

But like, I really

should have ended up with a monster.

Don't compliment that bitch.

Yeah.

Not you.

Yeah.

Do you know what I mean?

I know.

He should have been with a real psycho.

Like.

These fucking two.

Even that bit didn't really make sense.

No.

Because he's supposed to be serving her.

Right.

And then she says, my lord to the servant.

Right.

Like, don't call me my lady.

Call me my lord.

Oh, is that what she said?

I'm the man in this relationship.

I think because he's being so emasculating

on social media.

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh, I see what you're saying.

So she's like,

what was she saying?

Call me my lord.

Okay, I was like, go inside and do your mommy and wife thing.

Stop trying to be famous.

That's what the comment was from

Larissa.

20.

I mean, look, do I like that they're trying to make fun of themselves?

Yeah, I think that's really cool.

It's good.

They just need help.

Like, they should have a comedian.

Help them out a little.

Yeah.

I agree.

Call like who's good at these, you know?

Um, did we talk about watching Star?

Granny Furlon's good at like line and technology.

Yeah, she is.

You should contact her.

Um,

Star Wars with the boys.

Oh, my God.

So they've been doing this thing, by the way.

I don't know if other people have the same experience where whenever you propose, let's watch this new thing that you haven't seen, they're like, absolutely not.

So, like, when Harry Potter, like a couple of years ago, I was like, let's watch Harry Potter.

They're like, I don't want to watch that.

No way.

I hate Harry.

Like, I hate him.

And you're you're like, why?

They're great movies.

And they're like, no.

I'm not watching that.

Same thing with Star Wars.

I was like, let's watch Star Wars.

They're like, no, no, no, no.

I hate Star Wars.

You hate Star Wars?

I hate it.

It's the worst.

And you're like, all right.

And like another year would go by.

And I'd be like, you want to watch Star Wars?

Like, no, no, no, no, no.

Star Wars is the worst.

And you're like, what is going on?

And then finally, I'm like, hey, let's watch Star Wars, the original.

And Ellis throws this huge thing.

He's like, I just, I want to watch anything else.

I'm like, seriously.

And he's like, yeah, but let's just not even watch something.

I go, how about just give it like 15 minutes?

And if you can't, if you don't want to watch it after 15 minutes,

I'll turn it off.

I'll find something else.

He's like, oh, fine.

A few minutes in, Julian is just like, what is this?

I'm like, Star Wars.

And he's like, this is Star Wars?

I go, yes.

And he's like, this is pretty good.

I go, I know.

And then Ellis is like, well, I've seen all of them.

I'm like, wait a minute.

You just said it's the worst.

He's like, yeah, I watched them all over at my buddy's house.

And I'm like, I go, so you've seen these all?

He's like, yeah, yeah, I know what this is.

I'm like, okay.

Cool.

Can we watch it?

He's like, yeah, it's actually really good.

I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about?

It's so crazy.

And then Julian is like, who is that?

I go, it's Han Solo.

Han Solo?

Yeah.

He's like, what kind of name is that?

I'm like, I don't know.

He lives in fucking outer space.

And he's like, Han?

I go, yes.

What's his last name?

Solo.

Han Solo.

I'm like, yes.

What's his real name?

I'm like, Harrison Ford.

He's like, oh.

What's that thing he's talking to?

I'm like, that's Chewbacca.

Chew what?

Chewbacca.

He's a Wookiee.

What's a Wookiee?

I go, that fucking thing.

Who's the other guy?

Luke Skywalker.

What's his real name?

Mark Hamill.

Oh.

Is that his friend?

I'm like, I guess.

I don't know, dude.

Can we watch the movie?

No.

What's happening?

Why does he do that?

Who's Darth?

Dark Vader?

Darth Vader.

Darth Vader.

I go, yeah.

How do you spell that?

How do you spell it?

Now you got to spell it.

I can't just watch this.

I go, he's a real bad guy.

How is he bad?

How is he bad?

He's just consumed with evil.

What does he do that's evil?

I'm like, everything.

He hates everybody that's alive.

He wants everyone dead.

He's like, oh.

You know what I would do if I saw Dark Vader?

What?

He goes, I'd go, fuck you.

Double bird.

Double bird to Darth Vader, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is fucking

25 minutes into that movie.

I had answered at least 150 questions.

And then his mind is really blown that Leia is actually

Luke's sister, and now I had to fucking explain that.

Does that mean that?

Oh, then we were, because we watched the original three, and then it's like, so wait, Darth is Luke's dad, and then I go, yeah.

And he goes,

but how is he his dad?

He used to be his dad.

Yeah, I mean, he was Anakin Skywalker, and then he kind of turned to the dark side of the forest, and he's kind of half man, half machine.

What?

I'm like, I don't know, dude.

It's fucking complicated.

Can we just watch this fucking movie, please?

It's so complicated.

Well, look, Star Wars is the greatest story ever told.

Well, it's just good and evil.

It's fantastic.

Well, it's so many layers to it.

I mean, it's Oedipal, right?

I think why so many boys love it.

It's the idea of killing your father, which is part of the drama of being like a six or seven-year-old boy.

You love your mother.

You want to kill your father.

You resolve these things in your brain, but I think that's why it really, like, you see that as a kid.

And on a subconscious level, you're like, wow, this is a wild story.

The guy's got to kill his own father.

How do you do that?

And then there's the idea of succumbing to the dark side of the force.

Well, what is the dark side of the force?

It's the darkness within you.

Well, what does that mean?

It could be anything, addictions, bad feelings, low energy behavior.

George Lucas was amazing.

It was such a good story.

Obsessed with that

Eastern philosophy?

No, what's that?

Oh, my God,

this tale of,

I think it's an old Irish.

Wow.

An old Irish tale.

We studied in college about like he was really fascinated with this author.

And it was stories of like, you know, Star Wars is just like adapting,

you know, an old philosophy story of good versus evil, essentially.

It's these same tales, right?

Just retold in a different way.

But it was.

Oh, shit.

Pac-Man's calling me.

No way.

I think we should answer that.

Really?

Yeah, Pac-Man Jones.

All right.

What's up, man?

Hey.

Hey.

When I call you and answer your goddamn phone.

I just did.

I did.

I'm doing a podcast.

What's going on?

What's up, man?

Do you know who I am?

The mailman, the little stinky-booty mailman, the little stinky booty guy in Cincinnati.

Burke knows who I am.

Okay, okay.

All right.

I like the hat, bro.

And the teeth.

Oh, yeah, it's Hooday, baby.

Yeah, Hooday, all the way.

You should check out his shit, T.

Hey, send me a link.

I will.

I'll send it to you.

How are you?

I'm good.

How are you doing?

I'm good.

Yeah?

Yeah.

You know, I ignore the noise.

Yeah, I know.

There's a lot of

fuck up, people.

Yeah, that's right.

What?

You talking about I did what?

Bro, you got the wrong guy, bro.

Wrong guy.

That's what I told his friends.

You should tell him that.

I did give him a little nugget.

Oh, yeah, that motherfucker.

Yeah,

but I wasn't trying to hurt him on that.

It probably could have gone way differently.

I'm glad you could have gone a little bit worse.

Yeah, yeah.

I thought I did pretty good.

How are you doing on the links today?

We just started.

Oh, you just started?

All right, cool, man.

All right, bro.

Yeah, everything's good, man.

Everything's good.

Let me see what kind of shoes are.

They're running shoes, bro.

Let me see.

Damn, you let me down, bro.

Yeah, well, they're.

Hey, I bet my boy, I'm like, he fucking got a J's on right now.

Nah, I just came from the gym, though, man.

I came from the gym.

I love you.

I love you.

i love you too bro

okay

that was insane insane he shit on your shoes babe yeah i know because they're like he's like he's got jays on he had a he had a bet going oh so i just let him down well who was the other fella i don't know i actually don't i didn't recognize him but he had all diamond teeth was cool oh cool yeah dude that's what you need to get next you think so 100 is he do you know who that was

oh wait is this the yeah joseph campbell campbell that's who i was thinking

Thank you.

Of course.

So, Joseph Campbell,

we read about, we did a whole thing about this in the income.

Of course, Joseph Campbell, it's about mythology, the myths.

Sorry, the archetypes.

Yes, it's fantastic.

I said Irish.

But I think I just got thrown by the name.

I was just reading him.

What's the fucking one I was just reading?

My memory is a dog shit.

Fuck my brain.

What's that guy, babe?

Say it.

My brain is so fucking stupid.

I don't remember.

Brain.

I don't remember.

Nah, Mia's the fucking

Vatisi's big book, Joseph, The Power of Myth.

Yes, The Power of Myth.

And it talks about the archetypes that exist in life.

The father, the mother, the maiden.

All these are human archetypes that exist.

You know what?

I gotta find.

It's all about that.

I remember a while back.

The power of myth.

I had found

there's a story out there about Lucas shopping this script.

And it's so funny to think of like a studio exec in the 70s reading and being like, fucking a what?

A Wookiee?

Yeah, it's Chewbacca.

And he's trying to like explain.

Well, yeah, you know, he's like, this is goofier than shit, man.

We're not making this.

Yeah.

And like, I'm sure, because it had to have been turned down by so many people.

Oh, for sure.

It was too weird.

So I remember there's a great story about how Jim Henson got the Muppets on television.

It was Brilstein Gray did the show, and he's pitching it to Bernie Brilstein, Jim Henson.

And, you know, Henson was just a stoner with puppets.

Yeah.

And they were like, there's some way we can commodify this.

We don't know how.

And so Henson and Brilstein are in a restaurant.

And I think Bernie Brilstein goes, I know what it is.

It's Hee-Haw with puppets.

You know that stupid show, fucking Hee-Haw?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that's it.

That's how they pitch stuff in the 70s because shit was so wild back then.

Like hee-haw, Google Hee-Haw.

It's the stupidest fucking show you've ever seen.

Yeah, it's like hillbillies popping up in cornfields.

And like, it's a second, it's like

hee-haw with puppets.

And I thought, oh, that's so brilliant.

That is a really good pitch.

See, look at this stupid two characters, and it's all making fun of like southern people.

What do you call a gorilla with an attitude?

You know, like, and they're jumping up in cornfields, popping and telling each other.

Yeah, it's like the stupidest shit.

But then laughing was big in the 60s.

So this was like after laughing.

I don't know.

You see this guy?

By the way, I know you like this.

Yes, you are live with me, Ben Hutt, on the CNN at all.

What was he doing?

He farted.

I missed that.

Let me say that again.

Yeah, he farted live on CNN.

Yes, you are.

You are live with me, Ben Hut, on the CNN at all.

Are you there?

Idiot.

He knew he was about to go live.

He just beefed.

He's crazy.

He knew he was about to be live.

He did a full league.

Yeah, you can't do that on CNN, bro.

He's like, oh, sorry.

Sorry about that.

Anyway,

let's move on.

Like, nah, you need to talk.

The whole segment's got to be about your fart now.

Bro, and luck, the other guy knows.

He's like, the other guy's like, you're live.

You fucking beefed.

The whole world just saw you rip ass, sir.

Fucking idiot.

Speaking of farting,

I am so excited.

So if you're watching, if you're listening to the podcast today,

June 25th, the day this is coming out, later today,

we are debuting finally

Fancy versus Philip.

My good friend Philip Franklin Lee, the Michelin star chef, who has sushi by scratch, he has pasta bar, NADC with

Neen Williams, also does the podcast together, Not a Damn Chance podcast.

He's a fantastic, phenomenal chef.

So I got him

to do a competition

with Fancy Chef.

And it was

unbelievable.

And I have a quick,

I'm just giving you a little sneak peek.

Just a sneak peek about from some of what went on that day.

It was unbelievable.

I need you.

You don't need to see nothing.

You need a mind in the business.

I'm in taxes.

I'm in taxes.

I'm in taxes.

I'm in taxes.

Fancy library reaching out to one of his

phone numbers.

5067031413646346667570604367702042178460689666.

The glass inspires the dish.

It's not quantity, it's not the glass flat.

Beautiful.

Oh my god.

That was unbelievable.

That was a dream come true.

To have the two kind of highest level chefs I know go at it.

Just real competition, see who can come up with what.

It was really a treat.

I feel so like.

It was unbelievable.

The full cut is just incredible.

I mean, the tension in the room, these guys going at it back and forth, high-level guys, just their minds, you know, racing and like all the flavors that we had.

It was just, I'm so sorry you couldn't make it that day.

It was unbelievable.

We had stuff going on.

The phones ringing is what really adds to the adrenaline rush going on.

Raw footage.

Just, we didn't, you know, tell him to ever turn them off.

Don't turn off a ringer, bro.

You got six phone lines.

Is that, though, the most impressive thing that you've seen that he can rattle off every number?

It's pretty crazy.

Isn't that incredible to you?

Because I don't think I know my own phone number.

Well, I don't know more than maybe two numbers.

Yeah.

He just was like, boom.

It's, it's, he's savant-like, yeah.

With that.

That and cooking.

Yes, of course.

May I ask you, what was the dessert that you were sampling?

Oh,

so he, uh, I mean, I don't want to give it away, but I'll just tell you.

I mean, there was fresh berries,

strawberries, raspberries, blueberries,

and

I think it's rum-infused whipped cream.

How do they do that, I wonder?

They sell it out of the can.

And

Got it.

Wow.

It's Cardi B's

vodka-infused whipped cream.

So it's whipped cream that has, and he was like, I just came up with that on the spot.

And there was like a mint leaf on it.

It was beautiful and nice.

So different.

Yeah.

It was beautiful and nice.

Was Philip worried?

Oh, yeah.

When he saw Fancy and what Fancy was bringing?

First of all, Fancy came in wearing a chef's outfit.

Yeah.

And Philip didn't.

And he was like, oh, I'm just wearing my regular clothes.

Like, well, mistake number one, yeah, you know, you had to come correct, yeah, you had to come styled.

Yeah,

well, I can't wait to watch the whole thing, it looks fantastic.

It was incredible, it looks delicious, too.

Yeah, it was really, really

spectacular.

Delicious time, you can watch this fancy versus Philip battle at 5 p.m.

Central here on the YMH YouTube channel.

Um,

so I got something for you.

Ready?

Always,

Okay.

Was that a suicide?

No.

Nah.

No.

It was, she was trying to clean her windows.

Yeah.

It's in Russia.

80 years old.

Yeah.

Walked away with bruises.

No.

Yeah.

I'm telling you, the Slobs are built different.

Isn't that incredible?

I mean, that is hard the way.

Yeah, let's see it again.

She's like, ah, shit.

dude that didn't okay bruises like all right you're gonna hire someone to clean the windows she's like all right

she just fell out can i tell you something can i talk to you for a second yeah man falling out of your window is extremely easy i had a friend in college who fell out of a third story window he was at a house party there was a band playing and he was with this girl and the room got progressively fuller and fuller and he just got backed in backed in And he and this girl,

he was behind her back.

She's leaning on the ball into the he's right.

And then, whoop, out the third story window, he falls first, she falls on top of him.

He's in a coma for three weeks, and he's never been the same.

Broke a bunch of shit.

It was horrible.

And she was fine.

No, she didn't make it.

She didn't make it?

Yeah.

From the third story?

Yes.

Damn.

So, yeah.

And she landed.

Wait, I'm sorry.

Wrong story.

Wrong.

She was fine.

But she felt really guilty that he wasn't.

Sorry.

That was the story.

I forgot that.

Sorry.

She survives.

And she doesn't have as much trauma and injury as my friend did.

But he's never been the same.

He was really, really, really like super intelligent before that happened.

And then do you have another story about someone who's thinking?

No.

No, I'm probably just mixing up clips that we've seen on the show.

Different traumatic.

Well, first of all, we've never played someone who didn't make it, so that's a new show.

No, of course.

Yeah, come on.

Come on now.

This is fun music.

Is that a bucky song?

I think it's gonna

fuck these big-ass buses, man.

Bro.

I think you're gonna hit the car pretty hard.

No?

Oh.

Get out of here, get out of here.

That could happen.

That was right here in Texas.

That was one of the craziest things I've seen.

Dude, I'm so afraid of that happening to me.

The logic, too, like your brain, sometimes your brain doesn't, you know, like he's just like, oh,

block the thing from hitting my car and not adding up how much force and pressure.

I mean, I don't think he's going to stand up straight ever again for the rest of his life.

Because the way where it smushed all his internal organs, like the important things, my car is the car.

Like, my car is not scratched.

That's cool.

But it literally got him like stomach, spleen, liver, kidneys, everything mushed.

By the way, by Christina P.

Lipstick.

Yes, it's got four colors.

A serious injury

to his hip.

That's where he got hurt.

His hip.

I'm sorry.

Didn't mean an interesting time to plug the lipstick.

Do you want to do that again?

Christinap.com, four shades.

You can get Atomic Red, Perfect, Red, Madison, and Berlin.

ChristinaP.com, buy all four.

I got one more for you.

Oh, fuck off.

Ready?

Yes.

Oh.

Guess what?

Okay.

She's okay.

Hold on.

I got the weirdest text.

Okay.

So, you know, this phone used to belong to.

Yeah.

You and I are more than friends.

We're like a really small gang, minus the weapons and cool jackets.

Okay, that's probably spam.

Do you know what I've been doing now?

So I used to always say I'm Ambassador Cart, right?

Yeah.

Right.

And it was like, and then get them to be like, I'm sorry, what?

I'm like, this is ambassador.

You know, the State Department's going to visit you.

Like, all this.

So what I do now, like, I got one

like a week ago that was like,

hey jessica it's me kathy

um are you ready for lunch yeah i just go yeah where were we eating lunch and then they go wait where are you i go i'm outside where are you

and then they don't like they're they always are looking for you're supposed to go that's not me that's right so i just am i affirm everything now and then they just stop you go you know what i mean like whatever they say just like you just yes answer so i should say you and i are more than friends we're like a really small gang gang minus the weapon.

LOL for sure, homie.

Oh my god, for sure, homie.

Just add to it, and then they just go like, when they're like, wait, who is this?

You go, no, wait, who is this?

Who is this, bro?

I thought you were my homie.

What's up, bitch?

Are we going out later?

Yeah, let's go.

Oh,

let me add that.

Are we hanging later?

What's up, bro?

It's more fun, actually.

It is so much fun, yeah.

Because they're looking for you to just like try to dismiss them.

Yeah, so they can go.

No, I want to hang out.

Why the heck are we not friends more?

I miss you.

I miss you, girl.

I'm thinking about you.

Let's hang out.

Let's see if they're not going to write back.

You're right.

Yeah, because they want you to be like, who is this?

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, this is Caitlin.

And then they go, well,

it's okay.

Let's just hang out.

Let's chat.

Yeah.

And then, and then they need, they need fucking, what's it called?

Bitcoin.

Oh, you move your phone.

They need fucking Bitcoin and shit.

Did you see this?

This was

done by one of our

Scott Welsh.

I know that Neme.

Yeah, yeah, he does a lot of stuff on

Instagram.

And he's been doing things like this for a long time, really cool ones.

But this one was really, really special.

And that's when I decided I'm going to murder my mother.

I knew a week before she died was going to kill her.

And she went out to a party.

She got soused.

She came home.

went to sleep.

I was woken up by that.

I got, came out.

I walked up to her bed.

She's laying there reading a paperback

as many thousands of nights before.

And she said,

Oh, I suppose you're going to want to sit up all night and talk now.

I looked at her and said, No, said good night.

And I knew I was going to kill her, you know.

Pretty cool.

That's really cool.

I like that Charo's reading, my son, a sociopath.

A psychopath, yeah.

That's cool.

Yeah, and they did a really good charo.

Really good, really good.

You, your teeth are awful in this.

Well, it's real audio.

Yeah, I know.

That's from Ed Kemper.

He was goofball, killed his mom in real life.

Yeah, I figured as much.

There he is.

Yeah.

Big guy.

Smart guy, too.

Sure.

Why is he smart?

He had a really high IQ.

Oh, he was really intelligent.

Yeah.

Some of them are.

Yeah.

Some of them are.

Yeah.

6'9.

Big fuck, huh?

6'9.

He's 6'noying.

Damn, dude, that's tall as shit.

Fuck, right.

IQ of 145.

Oh, it's fucking good.

Places him in the genius range.

Oh, cool.

Yeah.

Wow.

Thank you for sharing that.

He was a real neat guy.

Too bad that the...

The last thing he killed was his mommy.

Some other broads.

He had a real problem with killing women.

They usually do.

That's

how it goes.

What was he saying?

He murdered seven women.

Yeah, one girl.

He murdered his paternal grandparents when he was 15.

And most of his non-familial victims were female college students hitchhiking, which is something you can't even do anymore.

I know.

There is no like hitchhiking kind of culture anymore.

Well, look, if I were one of these clowns, you know what I would do?

Get on the dating apps.

Start killing that way.

Yeah.

Hey, come meet me at this fucking bar, dark-ass place.

With a phony picture?

You have to do a phony picture.

Full identity.

Yeah.

And this dumb broads show up.

But you have to pick somebody.

Wait, because if you...

It's interesting, right?

If you do a full catfish thing,

then the woman's there looking for this other guy.

Yeah.

And you know who she is.

She has no idea.

Right.

But do you want to pick somebody who's close to what you look like so that she engages?

So you're just like waiting.

No, no.

So here's what you're going to do.

First of all, I know who you're going to fucking go after.

One of these Disney adult losers.

You're talking to me?

No.

I'm just saying, in general, if you wanted to kill somebody, go after one of these losers, these Disney fucking adults.

Jesus.

They're so aggressive.

Hold on.

On these specific sites where they're like, I'm a rope dropper what was the other one one of these fucks yeah one of these doors closer i'm a park closer i'm a rope dropper and you get this girl all juiced up on how like down you are for disney yeah you set up a meeting time you stand her up just like this fishing yeah oh what happened your date didn't show up i'm so sorry but you're wearing like a disney shirt that she can cling to why don't you hang out with me

let's go for a walk around like austin and then now you fucking strangle her ass and put her in the fucking lake.

Oh, I see.

Yeah.

So I just happen to be, I have my Mickey Mouse shirt on.

I'm like, oh.

This is so weird.

No, I'm just here crazy.

You're into this stuff?

You like Disney?

I love this stuff.

God, this guy's a real loser.

I'm sorry you got somebody did that to you.

Shit.

Yep.

There's no fucking way to treat someone.

And these nerds are like in Orlando.

Yeah.

Easiest place to dump a body is Florida.

All the swamps and the gators, they just chew everything out.

Yeah, I go to the Everglades and you just

feed the gators.

For fucking shore, homie.

Yeah, what do you want?

Sounds like you've kind of thought this through a little bit.

Yeah, it doesn't seem like it's off the top of your head.

Well, it is, actually.

Okay,

pretty cool.

I just think these nerds, like, these, you have to go to like a specific nerd culture because then they're really, they're really

looking for it.

You know what I'm saying?

They're willing to block out a lot of stuff.

Just like that guy that got catfished, the 14-year-old ass eater.

Man kills husband and wife over debt and dumps bodies in swamps.

Florida, that's where you dump a body.

Oh, yeah.

We've been thinking about this for a long time.

He killed a couple.

Huh.

Let's see.

A man is accused of fatally shooting a married couple, leaving their bodies in a swamp because he believed the husband had stolen $30,000 from him.

Jesus.

A jury now convicted the 39-year-old Todd Jackson of two counts of first-degree murder, armed kidnapping, burglary of an occupied dwelling with a firearm, and tampering with physical evidence.

I like that that one thing says believed, meaning that maybe that didn't happen.

A judge sentenced him to life in prison.

Let's see,

they realized law enforcement suspected them.

Okay.

Bank rappers found no suspicious transactions that would indicate the victim stole from his bank account.

We further argued that while the co-defendants had numerous motives to commit the crime, Mr.

Jackson had none.

No physical evidence linked Mr.

Jackson to the crime scene.

Well,

okay.

I mean, 30 grand, that's enough to murder somebody.

Yeah.

That's a lot.

But it seems like there's nothing that connects him to that.

Like, the couple?

Did they actually do that?

It doesn't seem like it.

I just found the story.

I'm not sure the whole backstory of it.

Deputies used a surveillance technique that Nichols said her stepfather was the one who shot and killed a couple because he thought Raymond Klein had stolen $30,000 from him.

That is

a lot to do if you go, I think this guy took money from me.

Like, you don't know.

Feels like you'd want to know.

You'd want to confirm it.

Yeah.

But then you'd also want to be able to get your money back before you kill that guy.

Yeah.

Like, I'll be like, hey, dude, here's your chance to give it back to me.

And then when he doesn't, I fucking murder him.

Kill that guy.

Right?

Like, you want your money back.

You want your money back.

Yeah.

That's the grand.

That's a lot of scratch, bro.

That's a lot of dough.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Give me my fucking money, bitch.

Bitch.

Fucking dummy.

Bitch.

Yeah.

See?

So many bodies.

Woo!

I don't like that.

I don't want want to fucking see that.

Fuck that.

Why don't you fuck this?

Dude, I'm not looking at this.

I broke my ankle.

I don't want to see this.

It was just dislocated.

He put it back on.

Yeah, I don't want to see this.

This happened to me, remember?

Remember when they said, you watched them, didn't you?

They usually put you on.

They didn't give her ketamine or anything ketamine or anything.

I don't know.

Oh, wait, wait.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

Okay, came back.

Okay.

Hold on.

Homie, wait.

Isn't this Jenny?

Yes.

Fuck yeah, it is.

Yes, it's Jenny.

Yes, dummy.

Yeah, see, this is the fun way to do it.

Yes, dummy, it's Jenny.

Who the fuck are you?

No, it's like, no.

Yes, dummy, it's Jenny.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, yeah.

Homie, wait, isn't this Jenny?

Yes, dummy, it's Jenny.

Let's see what this fucking idiot says about her.

It's so much more fun.

It's so much more fun, yeah.

Okay, wait, when they reset my ankle, they put me up.

That's why I did ketamine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They didn't even give this poor motherfucking Xanax.

Fuck.

Dude, that ankle was completely off.

Oh, I saw it.

I don't want to see it.

Then he had like the

flutter.

He's like,

I don't like this.

I know, I don't like it.

Dude,

fucking show me this.

What kind of fucking hospital is this?

Oh, I mean, it's kind of, it's not here.

I'll tell you that.

For sure.

Give him drugs, bro.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck, Enny, you're here.

Enny's back.

Nice.

We missed you.

We need a star.

I'm just strolling in.

You can't do that.

Why is he late to work?

That's fucking crazy.

I came in late.

Only I can do this.

This is fucking crazy.

I can't believe I work here.

This is so fucking dumb.

Where have you been?

We miss you.

Where the fuck have you been, bro?

I'm fucking working, man.

Oh, shit.

I'm working in the

I got a bunch to do.

Okay.

All right.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

So whoops.

All right.

We need to get some

Negro spiritual music to play when Eddie gets on the mic.

Can we get that for him, please?

What?

Oh, my fucking God.

You want to get some of those tracks?

Do another one.

Those are funny.

Whole white baby, bro.

Yeah.

I'm sweating.

So funny.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm going to drop that in my life.

You know what I'm saying?

And not jail.

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

You want to see some of your talks?

Fucking always, dude.

Yeah.

Oh, that's hilarious.

He packaged a damaged old TV and then it was stolen.

Isn't that fucking amazing?

That's amazing.

So for those people just listening,

if you want to get rid of an old television.

This is a ring camera from a front porch where a guy took his old shitty TV, packaged and taped it up and put it on his front porch yeah you make it look like it's a delivery box and people will

just stole it yeah yeah I'm gonna start doing that yeah that's awesome

this is a shitty spray tan product I did want to be tan but come to find out I bought the wrong freaking

spray tan on Amazon And this is the result.

Is that a woman?

Yeah.

It's a lot of hair.

It's a big.

It is her.

It's a lot of hair, right?

A lot of.

Oh, it looks like chest and facial hair.

Yeah, some bras have a lot of

hormonal stuff.

No, it looks like hormonal hair.

It does look like dude hair.

Yeah, right.

You know what I'm saying?

Right, yeah, okay.

Like, yeah, broads sometimes

have to take off the hair.

That's quite a bit.

Yeah, that's quite a bit of.

I know.

Also, that's real dark.

Real chocolatey, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, it was way too dark.

Yeah, probably

maybe go a shade lighter.

You've got to be conservative with spray tan or any salt tanner.

Yeah.

Because then it looks the best.

Conservative is always the way to go with everything.

You know, any facial work, I'm saying, like teeth, stuff like that.

Don't go too far.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Our kids don't have bedtimes.

They don't have any restrictions on any kind of media, and they can eat what they want when they want.

Now, when somebody first hears that, they tend to think.

Well, I'm about to say that just sounds like chaos.

I know, and most people think that.

If you would have told me that 15 years ago, I would have believed the same thing.

However, they make really good choices for themselves.

Yeah, I mean the kids have total freedom to, you know, anything from jumping on the trampoline at two in the morning to staying up late, you know.

How late do the kids go to bed sometimes?

Yeah, well, I mean, just last night, I basically said, what do you think, Orion?

Are you ready to go to bed?

And it was 3.05 a.m.

And he said, yeah, I'm tired.

And how old is he?

And he's five.

I do little jabs, you know.

They may go to bed and get up late, but a rules-free lifestyle doesn't mean the Martin kids sit on their hands.

There we go.

Devon, the eldest, spends much of his time learning practical skills, like woodwork and blacksmithing.

If I'm interested in woodworking, then I'm going to woodwork.

You know, if I'm interested in a video game, I'm going to play that video game.

You know, whatever I want to do, I can do.

Have you looked at subjects, though?

Like, if you went to school, you'd do history, geography, math, English?

If I wanted to, I would.

I'm learning what I'm doing, and I'm doing it pretty well, I like to think.

And I figured I can learn almost anything that way.

History would be easy.

I'd just go online and read about it.

So you can learn a lot from online.

You can learn a lot from YouTube, I guess.

Yeah, we call it the University of YouTube or YouTube University.

Have you ever thought that you might like to go to school?

I've thought about it a few times for about four seconds and I realized, of course not.

Why would I want to leave this life and go to school?

It was fascinating.

It's definitely a way.

I remember meeting, knowing of, I should say, somebody who did this type of parenting.

Okay, like free, total free reign.

Yeah.

Okay.

And what happened?

Are they engaged in the I don't know?

I don't know what happened.

I know that the person

that had access to this family is the one that told me about it.

Okay.

Was like, it's,

it doesn't, it's not that cool

to witness.

Well, listen, I, I think from a parenting perspective, having everybody on a schedule just puts you at ease.

Because if your kid's up, your five-year-old, until 3 a.m., that means your ass is up at 3 a.m.

Watching them jump on a fucking trampoline.

And I'm not interested in that, bro.

I don't think so either, man.

That was, that's.

I mean, I understand that there's like, there's something cool about this.

Like, I think the fact this kid's like learning blacksmith work or whatever, you know, he's like that kind of thing.

You're like, oh, that's pretty rad.

But the fact that there's no, like, people, I think kids want boundaries.

They want

it.

They need it to, because if they're always anxious about, well, when's the next thing coming?

Like, when is dinner?

When is sleeping time?

Then their brains aren't free to learn.

Because I saw this is from the vaults.

I thought we were going to get a 10-year update.

Oh, I went.

Can you search for that, Josh?

That would be really cool.

Yeah, that's cool.

I mean, I hope he takes that stupid door knocker out of his fucking nose.

It looks dirty, too.

Have you done a fucking shower?

Congratulations, Jared.

Congratulations, Jared.

Congratulations, Jared, and coming out.

Congratulations, Jared.

Congratulations, Jared.

Okay.

Congratulations, Jared.

Alright, this is for my friend Jared, who came out recently.

And I have to apologize.

This was sent on Friday, and I'm just now getting to it.

So I'm sorry.

Jared, good for you.

I'm happy for you.

Know that you are loved and you're special.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you very much for stealing out.

Congratulations.

Congratulations, Ja!

Coming out!

You don't like that?

No.

No, I mean, the

the you know the

reason for the message is nice.

Congratulating someone on coming out.

That's great.

You know, like the voice is terrible.

Whatever.

Not whatever.

No.

Maybe that's a really nice voice.

Mariah Carey was known for her high-pitched voice.

This does not sound like Mariah Carey.

Singing.

It does not sound like Mariah Carey.

Yet.

The power of yet.

Megan Markle.

Yet.

She's not.

She's not a Mariah Carey singer yet.

Yet.

Yet.

Yet.

I haven't taken a shit today.

Yet.

There we go.

A grand opening, epic universe.

This is

a murder gallery we're going to to kill everybody.

This is crazy.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, no one's going this way.

Wow, I like seeing all these fat people running.

That's good.

This is madness.

Jesus Christ.

This is so cool.

This is a new exhibit?

Yes.

Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, I guess this is Euro.

It looks like Euro Disney.

The grand opening of Epic Universe.

Wow, there's a bunch of...

I've only seen one kid.

I've seen one kid so far.

All right.

What does it say there?

Epic Universe.

A new theme park located in Orlando, Florida.

Officially opened May 22nd.

750-acre park features the five themed areas.

Celestial Park, Dark Universe, How to Train Your Dragon, Isle of Burke, Super Nintendo World, and the Wizardry, Wizarding World of Harry Potter, Mystery of Magic.

All good things.

All fine.

Yeah.

There's no kids in this video.

You know, it's not one fucking cat.

Scroll up a little bit, just a hair.

So Celestial Park serves as the gateway to the other lands.

It includes attractions like Stardust Racers, Constellation Carousel.

Dark Universe is a shadowy world inspired by Universal's classic movie Monsters, featuring attractions like the Monsters Unchained, how to train your dragons, obviously based on that world of dragons, Super Nintendo World,

immersive land featuring attractions like Mario Kart.

And of course, the Harry Potter one.

Pretty self-explanatory there.

All right, so that's a new park.

I didn't know that.

Great.

And again, I would probably love to take our children to it, but these are all adults geeking out and running.

These are all fat adults running and geeking out.

You know, I feel like you're going to get some backlash.

I don't give a fucking shit.

All these people need to be in mental institutions.

This is ridiculous.

For the record, don't agree, everybody.

Don't agree.

I think she's wrong.

These adults that are into this stuff, this is mental illness.

Just like what you like, and if it makes you happy, just go there.

Just don't make videos.

If you like what you like, do it privately.

This dork puts it on.

Oh, my God.

Piss pups is today, Sunday, May 4th, from 4 to 9 p.m.

For the location, info, hit me up in my DMs, and I'll send it on over.

35 bucks at the door.

And I'll piss pups today.

But we missed that video.

How is this different than the last video?

How?

How is this different?

This is for adults, babe.

This is piss play.

Piss pups.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's where adults piss on each other.

It's different.

What we needed for the piss pups to go to the fucking new park.

They need to go to the dark

dragon.

To spray everything.

And just to sniff with their snouts and just piss everywhere, yeah.

They need their own amusement park, the pups.

I would, by the way, just to put it out there, if the piss pups are listening, the piss pup community would fund this venture.

Oh, if you guys would go as a group to piss all over this new park, I'll pay for it.

Oh, for fucking sure.

I would too.

Or a piss pops park.

That would be fucking amazing.

That'd be rad too.

Just a bunch of gay guys.

Oh,

wow.

Fuck this shit.

The worst thing ever

to be up here with like your kids.

Fuck.

Oh, it's in Mexico City?

That's why.

Damn.

That's why.

No, it happens everywhere.

Like this?

Oh, you're right.

Shouldn't be so racist.

No, you're right.

This is during a storm, and it looks like they have to stop the ride because of the storm.

Well, just lower it.

That must be some mechanical failure.

Just lower it.

Lower the guy.

That's what I would be up there going, lower the fucking thing.

And like, they saw the weather coming.

They couldn't have lowered these poor people.

Well, I think they probably got a storm.

It's not about that.

It's probably the storm's coming and they're like, man, it got stuck at the same time.

This is just bad timing.

Yeah, it is.

It is, man.

Daddy Reese wouldn't be happy with that.

They are stuck up there in Mexico.

By the way, I didn't realize

that

there's a closing song here.

Oh.

It's called Anywhere's Those Pants.

Oh, shit.

It's by Jumpman Studios.

Hell yeah, dog.

You want to hear it?

Yeah, of course.

It's our closing song.

Thank you for watching.

Thank you for listening.

Check it out.

Here's a new song.

Wait, what?

I'm close.

Oh my god, is he gonna fuck that bitch?

I'm close

I would bite you so you fucking hard

Dude, so many dudes wanna pull my button Le China make my dad white.

You know, I'm a worker.

I'm close.

I also do.

What?

Wait, what?

You're so beautiful.

What?

That's like a fuck you up.

Rob, rock, robber.

I'm close.

I'm usually the dude saying friends with him.

Good morning, good morning.

Good morning, Julia.

Look at you, morning.

Oh, my God.

Is he gonna talk that?

I'll suck your dude.

Look at you morning, good morning.

greatest moments of my life.

Look at good morning, good morning.

Oh my god, is he gonna clock that?

You're welcome.

That was amazing.

Thank you.