Steph Tolev is NAUSEATED By Cool Guys | Your Mom's House Ep. 814

Speaker 1 Get ready, Milwaukee. I'll be filming my live special taping of my come together tour in Milwaukee on Saturday, November 15th at the Riverside Theater.

Speaker 1 Get your tickets to the special taping during the pre-sale today at 10 a.m. local time with the code word Tommy.

Speaker 1 I'll also be in Atlantic City, New Jersey next weekend for two shows at Hard Rock Live at Etus Arena on Friday, June 20th and Saturday, June 21st. Tickets and all info are at tomsagura.com/slash tour.

Speaker 4 Well, welcome.

Speaker 4 Welcome to your mom's house.

Speaker 6 I am so excited for this spa day.

Speaker 9 Candles lit, music on, hot tub warm and ready.

Speaker 12 And then my chronic hives come back.

Speaker 14 Again, in the middle of my spa day, what a wet blanket.

Speaker 12 Looks like another spell of itchy red skin.

Speaker 17 If you have chronic spontaneous urticaria or CSU, there is a different treatment option.

Speaker 19 Hives during my next spa day?

Speaker 20 Not if I can help it. Learn more at treatmyhives.com.

Speaker 1 And we are back and joining us today is one of our absolute favorites. Don't forget her new special comes out June 24th on Netflix.
It's called Filth Queen. Please welcome Steph Tolum, everybody.

Speaker 24 Hey!

Speaker 25 Thank you.

Speaker 26 Steph, you look amazing.

Speaker 28 I've shed a a couple LBs.

Speaker 29 Yeah, you're in the best shape.

Speaker 30 Put down the hot dogs, put down the old

Speaker 33 Sipperinis, and here we are.

Speaker 35 You look fit.

Speaker 30 I thank you.

Speaker 37 I am strong.

Speaker 38 Yeah. Strong as hell.
Yeah?

Speaker 40 I think so. My legs are strong.

Speaker 1 Do you like the weight training?

Speaker 42 I hate it. Okay.

Speaker 44 This morning, working out of my hotel, bragging, a woman was doing yoga, and her husband was in there watching her.

Speaker 46 Just

Speaker 35 like, just no, like waiting for a man to look at her.

Speaker 47 And I was like, buddy, she's a butterface over here, so I don't know what you're looking at.

Speaker 49 No one's coming in here talking to her.

Speaker 41 It was like really protective.

Speaker 51 Yeah.

Speaker 52 And it was weird because her face was so ugly.

Speaker 53 I feel so bad saying it, but it was hideous.

Speaker 51 And her body, I was like, God, what a waste.

Speaker 26 Great body. Great bod.

Speaker 57 Or like, what an improvement.

Speaker 58 Because if I, I think if I had an uglier face, I would be working on the bod a lot more.

Speaker 61 Excuse me, what do you think? I'm over here working out.

Speaker 52 I literally, my main reason was to lose weight for the special because I was like, I honestly God, I didn't want people to say that I was fat, ugly, and a trans.

Speaker 14 And I was like, I could be the two.

Speaker 44 Let's get fat out of there.

Speaker 47 Ugly, trans, keep it in, get the fat the fuck out of there.

Speaker 1 It's so great to recognize the,

Speaker 1 when you know the shoot's coming up, because when I had the, I shot the series back in October, it was like midsummer last year, and I was like, oh, I gotta fucking dial it in.

Speaker 42 You're fit.

Speaker 52 You're very fit.

Speaker 1 I've gained, since we rapped, I've gained 10, 12 pounds.

Speaker 66 Oh, shit.

Speaker 1 Because I was so determined to try to like lean down. I know, I got to do it again.

Speaker 65 I got to do it again.

Speaker 6 You just have to stay in that place of self-loathing

Speaker 59 and restraint all the time.

Speaker 68 It's good for you mentally.

Speaker 42 It's good for you.

Speaker 20 But I go back and forth between like self-restraint.

Speaker 69 I'm not doing anything bad.

Speaker 58 And then I just go up.

Speaker 59 Like now I'm drinking wine every night.

Speaker 57 And then, you know what I mean?

Speaker 70 Five days later, I'm like, oh, I should rein it in.

Speaker 72 Is that what everybody does?

Speaker 43 It is.

Speaker 73 But it's also, I feel like, as a woman at this age, you have one piece of meat and you're fucking swollen.

Speaker 44 I'm like, the next morning, I have my double chins back. I'm like, what the fuck am I doing right now?

Speaker 1 What's your favorite food?

Speaker 38 Oh, fuck, ravioli.

Speaker 62 Suck back some chef moier d right now. Put it in a bowl.

Speaker 78 The canned kind of

Speaker 55 trash. I'm disgusting.

Speaker 72 I like that one, too.

Speaker 79 You like pasta.

Speaker 30 Yeah, but like, but no, meats, a steakhouse.

Speaker 81 I fucking fuck with a steak and a Bernouse.

Speaker 55 I'm gonna sauce it up.

Speaker 77 I love a dip, of a sauce, sauce, gravy, French food,

Speaker 66 rich, buttery sauce. Buttery dippies.

Speaker 54 Bue blanc. Dippy dippies.

Speaker 83 Yeah. Yeah, your Canadian treat.

Speaker 20 What's your favorite poutine?

Speaker 55 It's disgusting.

Speaker 1 It's disgusting. Did you like Norm's famous poutine?

Speaker 75 No, I haven't had that one.

Speaker 39 You haven't had that one? No.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 I'll pull it up for you. We have like a whole video of how he makes it.

Speaker 22 It's unbelievable.

Speaker 85 Is it good? Yes.

Speaker 47 You say this, and it's some weird video of a guy rolling cheese curls out of his people.

Speaker 89 It's delicious.

Speaker 90 And you did it to me last time.

Speaker 63 I'm like, oh, what is this?

Speaker 34 And it was some man getting ass railed.

Speaker 28 And I was like, I ate whatever this is.

Speaker 15 It's not us.

Speaker 72 We don't. Yeah.

Speaker 25 Okay. And

Speaker 91 it is you guys. Except, we've matured.

Speaker 42 It's changed a lot. Okay.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we've changed a lot.

Speaker 17 I'm waiting for a dick to be one of those fries right now.

Speaker 58 I'm just waiting for it.

Speaker 66 Just before.

Speaker 22 God, I love it.

Speaker 1 We'll do a whole poutine thing here in a minute.

Speaker 22 I love poutine.

Speaker 50 It's so good.

Speaker 1 I think the first time I had it was like when I went for the Montreal Comedy Festival. Yeah, me too.
I hadn't ever experienced it.

Speaker 66 I was like, oh, shit.

Speaker 94 This is fantastic.

Speaker 30 Because you need the squeaky curds.

Speaker 81 That's the main thing. Yeah.

Speaker 52 Squeaky curds, and you need the beef gravy.

Speaker 95 I like that gravy. Gravies.

Speaker 5 Can they put it on anything else?

Speaker 12 They should put it on like pasta.

Speaker 24 Can they put it on pasta?

Speaker 29 I don't know, dude. Yeah, that should slap.

Speaker 76 Especially when you're drunk walking around.

Speaker 96 Oh, the Belle Provence, that disgusting place where the men that work there are like wet.

Speaker 55 Like they get like punch in, and their fingers like slip off the couch dress.

Speaker 31 They're so there, like you could wring their dicks out.

Speaker 26 They're all like a pile of oil. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 80 The pores are so deep.

Speaker 97 It's so gross.

Speaker 94 Good food.

Speaker 98 It is delicious.

Speaker 99 See, the hot dog poutine.

Speaker 1 Did you go to Montreal a lot as a, like, growing up, or was that kind of

Speaker 100 drink younger, you could drink at 17.

Speaker 1 Doesn't it feel crazy even though you're from like what I always felt when I went there, you're like, oh, I feel like I'm 4,000 miles away. It doesn't feel like you're crazy.

Speaker 30 It doesn't feel like you're anywhere. It was a five-hour drive from Toronto.

Speaker 38 So my parents let me borrow my car.

Speaker 81 We'd go when I was 16.

Speaker 17 We'd lie and say we were 17 and get into all the bars.

Speaker 40 Amazing. Oh, yeah.
And I was.

Speaker 26 quite a little kissy-kissy.

Speaker 17 Those French boys didn't care about the nose. They liked the old French Nazarene.

Speaker 38 I was getting fingered left, right, and center on those bars.

Speaker 55 Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 87 Just fingers.

Speaker 52 I wasn't a, I was, I'm not going to go all the way, but I let them finger me in a dark alley.

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 50 That's sweet of you.

Speaker 8 It was cold. I kept their fingers warm.

Speaker 102 Yeah, of course.

Speaker 37 I'm not thoughtful.

Speaker 103 I'm a nice gal.

Speaker 1 Fingers warm could be a good name.

Speaker 9 Finger warmer? Finger warmer?

Speaker 72 Yeah.

Speaker 28 I'll do that for my hustler shoot.

Speaker 30 Put your fingers in here, boys. Warm them up.

Speaker 58 We've been talking about this.

Speaker 59 So before we got on camera, you're going to do a hustler shoot.

Speaker 105 I am. Legs spread.

Speaker 64 Ankles over the head.

Speaker 106 Let's look up some poses for you to press.

Speaker 52 If I did legs over the head, I would become a paraplegic.

Speaker 8 My legs would never tap down.

Speaker 107 I swear to God, if you lock my legs back there, we're screwed.

Speaker 1 Why Why don't you do one of those two cock poses? You know what I mean?

Speaker 86 That I can do.

Speaker 30 I can do two cocks.

Speaker 26 I don't know if my boyfriend would love that. I can do two cocks.

Speaker 109 No, I'm not doing a full spread.

Speaker 110 Well, let's discuss what you're going to do.

Speaker 6 Should we plan?

Speaker 36 I mean, we don't.

Speaker 111 I will say.

Speaker 1 What about on the knees?

Speaker 42 Knees is good. Looking back.

Speaker 68 Right? Hold on.

Speaker 1 But looking back and spreading one cheek. So you spread with one cheek.

Speaker 50 See the butthole?

Speaker 39 Butthole. Yeah, butthole.

Speaker 17 No, I can't be showing my anus is a mess.

Speaker 40 We were talking in the bathroom.

Speaker 63 I got hemroids.

Speaker 14 The whole thing.

Speaker 87 That's not hustler.

Speaker 78 What is that?

Speaker 101 If that's hustler, I'm fucked.

Speaker 47 no we want we want a hustler that woman on the beach sand in your pussy do you know how many sand fleas are down there it's upsetting think about how your thighs look like when you're on your knees your my thighs don't look great my legs are my only good quality oh so i can slop around the legs it's the pussy and the the tits and the ass and the asshole that are the problem

Speaker 87 it's everything else that's the problem yeah so maybe we'll just do just legs you could do these Some of these are okay.

Speaker 43 Okay, yeah, like the forward lean with the boot.

Speaker 101 I can push the boots forward.

Speaker 94 That's nice.

Speaker 89 That's nice.

Speaker 101 Put somebody else in a one piece.

Speaker 89 Give me a one-piece. How about that?

Speaker 38 Do you have a nice?

Speaker 1 That one with the dropping.

Speaker 43 I can do the dropping.

Speaker 113 I can do the no-pussy-out.

Speaker 30 This is nice.

Speaker 10 Oh, right.

Speaker 1 It's just covering.

Speaker 72 I mean, I need a little bit more fabric there, I'll tell you that.

Speaker 27 Just see a little bit.

Speaker 90 Everybody's tits look good like that.

Speaker 29 That's why they're not.

Speaker 38 Yeah, that's pushy-pushy.

Speaker 54 Yeah, yeah, that's a good pose.

Speaker 112 Can we see a little more hardcore?

Speaker 30 Yeah, let's see what I'm up against here. Let's see a little bit more

Speaker 75 anus. Spread.

Speaker 104 Yeah, the spread.

Speaker 39 Also, I wouldn't need to spread.

Speaker 74 One hand spread.

Speaker 1 But take cover out of there.

Speaker 101 Okay, these ones are okay.

Speaker 67 Hoses, like hustler magazine.

Speaker 54 So there's there is tits. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 26 She's going to be pretty.

Speaker 76 These are pretty sweat.

Speaker 29 Because they look better when they're oiled.

Speaker 9 Yeah, they do look oiled up.

Speaker 30 They look nice oiled.

Speaker 1 Oh, how about that? With the legs spread right there?

Speaker 47 Do I bring in my own oiler?

Speaker 38 Oh, that's nice.

Speaker 78 What's the life spread? Like that.

Speaker 15 That's nice. Oh,

Speaker 39 my.

Speaker 39 Just do that. It's nice.

Speaker 26 And we're going to talk about your shoot. Eddie's going to talk about it.

Speaker 104 If I do that, I will lose every fan I've ever had.

Speaker 42 Or you'll gain some.

Speaker 105 I'll gain ones that I don't want.

Speaker 32 Oh, there's Jules Ventura, yeah.

Speaker 27 But that's a hard pose for me to do.

Speaker 29 That wouldn't be flattering for me.

Speaker 43 That's all my laby would be dragging on the floor.

Speaker 101 That pose is awesome.

Speaker 15 That would hurt my knees.

Speaker 29 Do you have a heavy labyrinth?

Speaker 114 Yes.

Speaker 43 Well, I'd be peeking around.

Speaker 1 Or like where you're holding your leg up. See how that one there, she's holding her leg up? That's right.

Speaker 44 Like that? But look how, look at that vagina.

Speaker 61 I call that the old two lines in a hole.

Speaker 74 There's not a lot of

Speaker 8 hemorrhoids or she's got a pimple by her asshole.

Speaker 29 No, they'll airbrush out the hemorrhoids.

Speaker 68 Everybody's got hemorrhoids.

Speaker 97 Look, they didn't for her.

Speaker 83 That's really sweet.

Speaker 41 That's a nice pose.

Speaker 86 That's sweet.

Speaker 78 That's really sweet.

Speaker 101 It does look childlike.

Speaker 33 There's a nice, you know what it is, the lighting.

Speaker 76 It's a soft lighting.

Speaker 15 Well, that's the tough part, Steph.

Speaker 115 You should practice now your angles and finding your angles.

Speaker 25 I'll tell you what.

Speaker 116 That's serious.

Speaker 117 Crane.

Speaker 105 Get the camera in a crane, hover it over a street here.

Speaker 1 Angles are way up or going up.

Speaker 39 Imagine seeing yourself. There you go.

Speaker 64 There you go.

Speaker 89 That's what you gotta do.

Speaker 8 Okay, that one I could do.

Speaker 15 Everything's covered.

Speaker 1 No panties, no bra, but like just like that.

Speaker 53 I have a hairy ass. I'm gonna have to wax everything.

Speaker 77 This is gonna be a lot. This is gonna be a good thing.

Speaker 118 Yeah, you better before the shoot.

Speaker 75 Oh, what am I thinking? And you're growing it out now. Everything waxed.

Speaker 22 Dude, that's gonna be so cool.

Speaker 119 Is it just you, or can you have a male partner in it?

Speaker 118 Or is it?

Speaker 81 I think it's just me. It's just you.

Speaker 65 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You and your butthole.

Speaker 41 Nothing else. Yeah.

Speaker 30 I just put a massaging to who guys, my asshole.

Speaker 62 Me and my partner.

Speaker 88 There he is.

Speaker 112 Dude, if you put little, if you did a little, like the groucho on my asshole,

Speaker 78 I'll do that.

Speaker 80 That's funny.

Speaker 8 That is funny.

Speaker 64 You will go viral.

Speaker 36 That is, oh my goodness gracious.

Speaker 106 So nice. How does she do that?

Speaker 32 That's rad.

Speaker 122 Wow. She's awesome.

Speaker 42 That's

Speaker 123 it.

Speaker 88 That kind of looks like you.

Speaker 92 Oh, my God.

Speaker 45 I was like, is that you? The girl to the right?

Speaker 1 The double.

Speaker 50 Look at that. Perfect.

Speaker 41 The two of them. The two of them.

Speaker 33 Two gals hanging out.

Speaker 90 You know what the funny thing is?

Speaker 8 Just two girls have two girls goofing off.

Speaker 39 This could be you and me, Bernanette.

Speaker 25 Just do it.

Speaker 43 Come do it with me.

Speaker 1 Everybody in this pose is happy. Look at all the, they're always happy.

Speaker 120 Are they?

Speaker 43 They look kind of like, if you zoom in, they look like they're really struggling.

Speaker 110 No, they look so calm.

Speaker 32 I was going to say.

Speaker 85 I think they look like they're strained a bitch.

Speaker 46 They love it.

Speaker 26 Very bizarre pose.

Speaker 1 I'll take the pillow underneath my body, please.

Speaker 97 Yeah, look, like, look, that looks crazy.

Speaker 101 God, buttholes are so gross.

Speaker 102 They really are.

Speaker 64 They are so gross.

Speaker 46 Yes. Steph, you and I should recreate this post.

Speaker 39 Oh, God.

Speaker 8 Look at that.

Speaker 72 It's so open.

Speaker 46 Can I tell you something? I hate it.

Speaker 95 I don't think spread it too.

Speaker 83 The spread is too hard. I'm not a doctor.

Speaker 119 I know.

Speaker 59 I don't like that spread.

Speaker 17 Because also, what is that in there? What's that piece?

Speaker 71 I don't know what that. I don't have it.

Speaker 46 You might have a piece.

Speaker 50 You're looking at it.

Speaker 90 What is that piece?

Speaker 47 Is that piece real?

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Speaker 101 No, do we have the piece?

Speaker 78 Tom, does she have the piece?

Speaker 35 It looks like a larynx.

Speaker 47 What is the piece, babe?

Speaker 96 It looks like if you're gutting a chicken, there's like a piece in there.

Speaker 1 You're focused so much on the cooch and her butthole.

Speaker 112 Like, look at that tit situation going on.

Speaker 31 I didn't even notice it right now.

Speaker 115 To be honest, Steph, you should practice your spread if you choose to do it.

Speaker 72 How far are you going to spread?

Speaker 1 If you're doing toys, one in your ass and one in your vague and one in your mouth, you got to start practicing. It's going to really stress you out that way.

Speaker 79 Oh, God.

Speaker 55 Toys?

Speaker 55 No.

Speaker 104 I can assume that I'm healthy. It'll be it.
You want to do this?

Speaker 124 I want to do this.

Speaker 58 After I get my new tits,

Speaker 59 I'm going to heal a little bit. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 108 You can't have fresh cuts.

Speaker 58 No, and then I'm going to do this.

Speaker 50 What do you think?

Speaker 13 Oh, it's a fucking great idea.

Speaker 42 It's a great idea.

Speaker 55 Everyone's so supportive.

Speaker 112 Everyone will know at school for the boys. They'll be like, hey, I saw your mom.

Speaker 110 Great spread. What are you talking about?

Speaker 76 This is the big thing.

Speaker 6 You can give it to their teachers for Christmas.

Speaker 87 We can give it to everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 One of these chicks has definitely at least signed that, like, hey, Merry Christmas.

Speaker 59 Actually, I know somebody who did a very, yeah, provocative shoot in Playboy, and she signed a bunch and gave it to her dad for her dad to give his employees.

Speaker 39 Huh.

Speaker 6 So, think about that too.

Speaker 39 Well, I don't want to think about that.

Speaker 17 I actually hate that, and now I'm like, I'm for sure covering everything up.

Speaker 97 I'm scared my tits are going to come out when the special comes out because I've sent these jugs off.

Speaker 23 Don't forget, Filth Queen, June 24th on Netflix, and

Speaker 72 Steph will be spreading her butthole for your entertainment and the hustler.

Speaker 83 No, I won't.

Speaker 105 Yeah, these jugs are coming out.

Speaker 59 Your generation, you guys have all sent around your body at this point. Is there even any shame to that?

Speaker 97 Well, there should be, because it was never, I was always like a double chin in it, or like I had a tit hair.

Speaker 30 Like, I was never like, I wasn't prepping them.

Speaker 74 I wasn't oiling them up.

Speaker 29 Yeah, you should oil them up.

Speaker 13 We didn't even play our opening clip.

Speaker 110 Oh, my God.

Speaker 91 We were just so gabbing. It was so much fun.

Speaker 76 Ready?

Speaker 41 Here you go.

Speaker 125 I'm going to put some cold fleet in your booty with some milk.

Speaker 125 Oh, yeah, girl.

Speaker 126 I'm trying to tell you.

Speaker 126 Nigga, Manai, you know that's for you. That milk and cornflake in your booty.

Speaker 126 Megan the style, you next.

Speaker 24 Oh. Yeah.

Speaker 125 Corn flick, raisin brain.

Speaker 58 Raising brain in your booty.

Speaker 82 Who is Randy?

Speaker 127 Don't bring anyone mother into this.

Speaker 76 Don't bother the fucking stand.

Speaker 4 Well, welcome.

Speaker 4 Welcome to your mom's house.

Speaker 76 With Tom Sagura.

Speaker 50 Tom Segura.

Speaker 32 And Christina Pazitsi.

Speaker 76 Nigga Manaj.

Speaker 4 Welcome to your mom's house.

Speaker 106 Why are you trying to turn on Steph?

Speaker 113 See, that's the guy.

Speaker 14 That's what I'm going to have liking me after.

Speaker 76 I don't want that.

Speaker 74 After my spread.

Speaker 113 He also, putting milk.

Speaker 53 Unless you have hot sauce in your asshole, you can't even put milk in this trim.

Speaker 53 Milk assault.

Speaker 1 You wouldn't like to have corn flakes eaten out of your butt?

Speaker 16 I really don't like ass eating, is

Speaker 17 really.

Speaker 17 I mean, you have to be scrubbed.

Speaker 53 This is the longest intro I've ever heard in my life.

Speaker 28 Is it keep going? I was like, can I talk yet?

Speaker 72 It's four hours.

Speaker 66 15 years of the same intro.

Speaker 26 That long?

Speaker 39 Yeah, every single episode.

Speaker 50 Huh.

Speaker 30 Maybe I was nervous last time. This time I'm like irritated.

Speaker 123 I'm like, can we wrap up the whole thing?

Speaker 74 I ain't gonna talk about my asshole.

Speaker 48 It's so long.

Speaker 5 It is so long.

Speaker 76 It is so long. Yes.

Speaker 129 No edits, huh? What is it? Three minutes?

Speaker 112 Yeah, it's pretty long.

Speaker 125 Pretty long.

Speaker 9 Still going.

Speaker 74 It's still going.

Speaker 6 He's always into eating stuff out of girls' butts.

Speaker 67 That's his thing.

Speaker 71 That is.

Speaker 20 I'm going to lick your booty.

Speaker 57 I'm going to put a whipped cream in there and a banana and the banana split.

Speaker 1 Y'all know what's a banana split.

Speaker 22 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then he does, and then he goes, I'm going to crush up some corn chips.

Speaker 84 And you're like, that's not even a banana split.

Speaker 75 No, he's getting carried away.

Speaker 110 Yeah, he gets really carried out. But he's very thin.

Speaker 59 He's not an eating guy.

Speaker 106 So, what is this food thing?

Speaker 86 Maybe no one's let him do it.

Speaker 1 No, actually, I was with him when he did it to somebody.

Speaker 50 Are you serious? Yeah, I flew to this person.

Speaker 113 You met this man in person?

Speaker 41 I flew to.

Speaker 1 No, you didn't. I swear to God.

Speaker 84 I flew to Lafayette or where was it?

Speaker 21 Yeah, right.

Speaker 22 Louisiana.

Speaker 87 To meet this man.

Speaker 1 And then we, a girl came in the room and he put a banana and corn chips and ice cream in her ass, and they ate it all out.

Speaker 78 She opened it up.

Speaker 96 I mean, more closed.

Speaker 13 You know.

Speaker 47 are people not worried about yeast infections anymore

Speaker 107 if a little bit of dairy went even near if i don't wear cotton underwear i'm scratching for three weeks

Speaker 62 i don't know what to tell you right now we're airing out right now baby i gotta we're not slopping in a fucking corn chip yeah i know it's crazy

Speaker 112 crazy gross it's disgusting but i could also if you're interested i know you're seeing someone but if you're not i could hook you up with him my boyfriend is so hot that is and he's real that is uh

Speaker 97 tell me about your boyfriend i love my boyfriend so much he's okay you know Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore?

Speaker 13 Of course. Yeah.

Speaker 52 It's his nephew. And they look exactly like that.

Speaker 55 Really?

Speaker 30 Bring up Jefferson McDonald.

Speaker 75 Bring him up.

Speaker 62 Yeah, full name. I don't know if I'm a lot of sneakers.

Speaker 41 Jefferson McDonald.

Speaker 62 I love him so much. You love him so much.

Speaker 1 How long have you been seeing him?

Speaker 44 A year and a half.

Speaker 45 There he is. There's my lover.

Speaker 13 Wow.

Speaker 56 He looks exactly

Speaker 50 like him.

Speaker 43 It's so fucking crazy.

Speaker 17 So I met him at the last factory.

Speaker 34 He's a singer. He's a piano player.

Speaker 62 He opens for me now on the road and he opens for my pussy, my asshole.

Speaker 37 Not my asshole.

Speaker 40 It's a mess back there.

Speaker 30 But

Speaker 63 he's a very sweet boy. And I met, he was at

Speaker 52 a show with Shooter at the Laugh Factory in LA.

Speaker 17 And I was fangirling over Shooter.

Speaker 34 And he was with him.

Speaker 17 And I was like, who's this?

Speaker 83 He really looked.

Speaker 91 It's bizarre.

Speaker 87 Yeah.

Speaker 43 It's like, how do uncles look that much like they're fucking.

Speaker 17 It's crazy.

Speaker 70 Maybe they're not uncles.

Speaker 129 I saw his dad.

Speaker 33 His dad looks like him, but his uncle, it's they have the same mouth.

Speaker 42 Yeah.

Speaker 131 Did you grow up?

Speaker 70 Did you have a boner or head of mouth?

Speaker 76 Well, yeah.

Speaker 86 I hate to write to you.

Speaker 90 I did. There he is.
He did my podcast.

Speaker 35 I really did.

Speaker 30 That's why I met.

Speaker 132 Look at us. Look at us.

Speaker 114 A cute couple.

Speaker 57 He's a real Aryan dazzler.

Speaker 45 I know. You know why?

Speaker 30 I always liked a real white guy because my Baba always was like, marry a Bulgarian, keep it in the family.

Speaker 47 And I was like,

Speaker 36 I don't want anything like this.

Speaker 73 I don't want anyone who looks like anyone in my family.

Speaker 30 They're all hideous people.

Speaker 45 I don't want any Bulgarians, enough hair on my body.

Speaker 105 We don't need more hairs coming binding up here.

Speaker 17 It's disgusting behavior.

Speaker 1 And you met how long ago?

Speaker 62 About a year and a half ago.

Speaker 8 Almost two years.

Speaker 62 Yeah. Yeah.
I know.

Speaker 63 He moved in with me right away, three months.

Speaker 39 Whoa.

Speaker 26 Oh, yeah. Three months.
Oh,

Speaker 45 yeah. He's coming.
He's flying in right now to see me.

Speaker 1 And you live in LA together.

Speaker 63 Literally the other.

Speaker 17 He was on a cruise ship in Japan for three weeks.

Speaker 15 Let me ask you this.

Speaker 1 Is he American?

Speaker 17 He's American. So if I fail my citizenship test.

Speaker 1 So she's testing soon.

Speaker 112 I know.

Speaker 119 I am.

Speaker 58 I'm going to tell you: they're going to ask you, they're going to ask you to write a sentence in English.

Speaker 98 Any sentence.

Speaker 58 You got to know the president, the vice president.

Speaker 38 I'm going to say, I heart Donald Trump.

Speaker 61 I'm going to wear a make America a great hat.

Speaker 1 I just wear it. I'm wearing an arrow.
Let's test you on a few things.

Speaker 108 Oh, God. Okay.

Speaker 47 This is embarrassing. I'm stupid.

Speaker 20 No, we're going to test you for your quiz.

Speaker 50 We're preparing you. This is what we're going to do.

Speaker 15 I'm going to try to ask you.

Speaker 119 I might be wrong, too.

Speaker 1 I'm so stupid. When was the Constitution written?

Speaker 47 Fuck.

Speaker 47 Oh, 1776.

Speaker 78 No. 1772?

Speaker 57 No.

Speaker 58 1985.

Speaker 91 No.

Speaker 1 Constitution.

Speaker 1 Not when was the country.

Speaker 71 1762.

Speaker 10 Columbus.

Speaker 51 Did you know what it was? 1450.

Speaker 50 Okay, are you ready?

Speaker 38 Yes. 1787.

Speaker 33 1787.

Speaker 6 Nobody knows that. They're not going to ask you.

Speaker 56 17. I was close.

Speaker 92 They're not going to ask you that.

Speaker 92 Don't rely on

Speaker 83 it.

Speaker 6 They're going to ask you the most basic shit.

Speaker 29 Okay. Trust me.
Dumb-dumb stuff. That's hard.

Speaker 109 Does anyone know that listening?

Speaker 33 1787?

Speaker 111 They're going to ask you what y'all do.

Speaker 58 Stars and stripes represent on the flag.

Speaker 54 States and colonies.

Speaker 42 Oh, here's one that could happen.

Speaker 68 Ready?

Speaker 76 Ready? Okay.

Speaker 1 Who is the father of our country?

Speaker 129 George Washington. Good.

Speaker 76 Oh, I like to call him mm, Papa, Michael Jones.

Speaker 50 When is Flag Day?

Speaker 41 Who the fuck?

Speaker 78 Oh, June.

Speaker 17 It's in June. Yes.

Speaker 86 I've read these cards a lot.

Speaker 15 Okay, okay, good.

Speaker 10 See? I'm American.

Speaker 38 I don't know.

Speaker 1 What is the largest state?

Speaker 44 Texas.

Speaker 83 No. California? No.

Speaker 88 Alaska. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Speaker 129 Damn it.

Speaker 96 I should have got that.

Speaker 96 I'm failing.

Speaker 113 That's three minutes.

Speaker 64 I'm already doing great.

Speaker 1 Should Canada be the 51st state?

Speaker 10 Yes. Good answer.

Speaker 25 I know that's another question.

Speaker 45 I would say no normally. No offense.

Speaker 44 But

Speaker 87 that's not a question.

Speaker 25 You added that one in.

Speaker 1 I did because they might just add it.

Speaker 87 They might.

Speaker 30 And I'll say Canada.

Speaker 68 Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 68 Yeah.

Speaker 8 Burn them all.

Speaker 103 Burn my whole family alive. I don't care.

Speaker 1 What is the political party of the president now?

Speaker 124 Republican.

Speaker 94 Yeah. Good.
See?

Speaker 110 See, you're good.

Speaker 112 I'm good. That's good.
A couple more.

Speaker 93 Couple more. Okay.

Speaker 1 How many states are in the United States? 50.

Speaker 68 Wow. Jesus Christ.
Are you sure?

Speaker 43 I thought it was 50. I know.
That's why.

Speaker 101 I thought it was 52. That's why.

Speaker 63 But that says 50. So I'm not getting confused.

Speaker 87 It's 50, baby.

Speaker 76 It is 50?

Speaker 106 Yes. Pretty sure.

Speaker 91 Definitely. What are the other.

Speaker 47 Why is there 52 stars then?

Speaker 1 Are you thinking of playing cards?

Speaker 1 There's not 52 stars.

Speaker 99 It's 50. 50 stars?

Speaker 108 Okay, okay. So I gotta write.

Speaker 26 I gotta write.

Speaker 1 Who elects Congress?

Speaker 14 The people. Fuck.

Speaker 47 The blue ones are easy.

Speaker 11 Oh, they are? Yeah.

Speaker 99 That's why I know the blue ones.

Speaker 88 The red ones are hard. Oh, okay.

Speaker 1 So who wrote the Declaration of Independence? My mother.

Speaker 32 George Archie. Who the fuck wrote it?

Speaker 57 Do you know that?

Speaker 1 Yeah, but also, don't disrespect these questions.

Speaker 39 Oh, my God.

Speaker 87 Wait, is it a person's name? Yeah.

Speaker 99 Hold on. John C.

Speaker 121 Riley.

Speaker 108 Tom.

Speaker 99 Thomas Jefferson. Yeah.
Yes.

Speaker 63 I need you there pointing.

Speaker 96 The point. Help me.

Speaker 1 Okay. Now you're going to get this one.

Speaker 55 Okay, here we go.

Speaker 1 When was the Declaration of Independence adopted?

Speaker 17 Did I already say the number?

Speaker 1 Yeah, you had it earlier.

Speaker 81 Okay, 17th...

Speaker 38 No, 17th.

Speaker 37 You did that now. I think

Speaker 37 1772?

Speaker 112 1776? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 And which specific date?

Speaker 88 A full date?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Come on.

Speaker 42 Oh, July 4th? Yeah. 1776.

Speaker 55 Okay.

Speaker 22 Yeah, you got it, man. Okay.

Speaker 93 Dude, welcome to America.

Speaker 70 Welcome to America.

Speaker 17 Try to kick me out now, Trump.

Speaker 104 Please don't. I've tried so hard.

Speaker 88 I've worked so hard to get here.

Speaker 22 Well, look, let's shift it to

Speaker 50 something Canadian.

Speaker 1 So we told you, poutine. Yeah.
Huge hit. Yes.

Speaker 93 Great, fantastic food.

Speaker 24 Hello.

Speaker 22 I think we're going to make French Canadian poutine fries.

Speaker 134 What are poutine fries? Well, poutine fries are basically your fries, cheese, and a great appetite.

Speaker 42 Yeah.

Speaker 34 What on God's green earth am I looking at right now?

Speaker 1 This norm summer. However,

Speaker 134 there's going to be a bit of a change to the recipe. Everybody likes to change the recipe.

Speaker 134 These ones are going to have fries,

Speaker 134 cheese,

Speaker 134 pig shit, and pig piss. Ooh, it's going to be a treat.

Speaker 129 He's Canadian too, but no, don't, don't.

Speaker 109 He's from Calgary.

Speaker 17 Well, that makes sense.

Speaker 57 Keep those.

Speaker 134 Okay, so let's get things happening.

Speaker 75 Oh, no.

Speaker 63 Does it come out? The penis comes out.

Speaker 134 We'll pee on the fries first.

Speaker 37 Oh, my God.

Speaker 60 What's accidental?

Speaker 43 Wait, what is it?

Speaker 94 It's in a cage.

Speaker 134 Pig shit dumped on my fries.

Speaker 65 I have water squirts.

Speaker 53 I can't look at this, actually. This is

Speaker 121 grotesque.

Speaker 78 No, he doesn't poo.

Speaker 50 It's just the beginning. No, he's going to make sure all the fries are covered in pig pigs.

Speaker 112 What, you're not even proud to be Canadian anymore?

Speaker 63 This is our Canadian test. This is what we have to do.

Speaker 76 We have this guy's fries.

Speaker 50 We have to do this fries. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 11 So every immigrant.

Speaker 132 No, no, I actually can't watch this.

Speaker 38 Watch this.

Speaker 5 I can't. I can't.

Speaker 72 Listen.

Speaker 91 Oh, my God. I hate you guys.

Speaker 76 Is it done yet again?

Speaker 72 Oh my god!

Speaker 25 God!

Speaker 46 This is the best part. No, I can't.
I can't.

Speaker 47 The fact that he doesn't already watch this is making me sick.

Speaker 115 What's that?

Speaker 50 This is some cheese.

Speaker 77 I don't know why it's worse than the rest of it.

Speaker 89 Somehow that impresses me.

Speaker 50 Oh, God. He doesn't eat it.

Speaker 99 I'm not even able to throw up.

Speaker 76 Does he eat it? No, I can't watch.

Speaker 76 No, just look. It's fine.

Speaker 89 I can't look.

Speaker 24 You gotta look. You just gotta watch.

Speaker 135 I played a game.

Speaker 76 I think this guy has a garbage here. I'm not joking.

Speaker 130 I have to go. garbage.

Speaker 104 I hate it. Why is it still going?

Speaker 76 Why are all your clips so off?

Speaker 130 I'm sad to throw off.

Speaker 76 That's so bad.

Speaker 116 It has to stop.

Speaker 15 It actually has to stop.

Speaker 15 I can't eat away.

Speaker 1 This show is sponsored by Liquid IV. I've got a few big plans this summer, some travel, some time outdoors, and definitely some long days in the sun.

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Speaker 136 Martha listens to her favorite band all the time.

Speaker 76 In the car,

Speaker 82 gym.

Speaker 82 Even sleeping.

Speaker 18 So when they finally went on tour, Martha bundled her flight and hotel on Expedia to see them live. She saved so much, she got a seat close enough to actually see and hear them.

Speaker 136 Sort of.

Speaker 18 You were made to scream from the front row. We were made to quietly save you more.

Speaker 136 Expedia, made to travel.

Speaker 18 Savings vary and subject to availability, flight inclusive packages are at all protected.

Speaker 126 Warner, winner.

Speaker 68 Here, here's an American.

Speaker 1 You ever seen a super strong guy?

Speaker 49 No, he's going to break something.

Speaker 31 I hate these videos.

Speaker 1 Crack this fucking cement.

Speaker 47 No, he's going to do something bad bad to his body.

Speaker 50 This is horrendous.

Speaker 9 Stop lying to me.

Speaker 13 I promise.

Speaker 1 Look.

Speaker 62 No, I can't.

Speaker 38 I'm gonna watch your reaction. I swear.

Speaker 62 No, I can't.

Speaker 63 No, it's something bad. It's a bones.

Speaker 87 Yes, it is.

Speaker 73 I'm watching your face.

Speaker 6 It's really nice so far. No.

Speaker 19 It's nothing, Steph.

Speaker 24 Just watch.

Speaker 94 No, it's. Just watch.

Speaker 34 I can't.

Speaker 16 I hate this shit.

Speaker 118 He just gives up.

Speaker 117 That's it?

Speaker 68 That's the clip?

Speaker 22 I told you.

Speaker 34 I don't believe anything you say.

Speaker 94 I don't trust you. What is this?

Speaker 45 Oh, that was bad. You know what?

Speaker 31 I need to watch that video once a week now so I don't eat anymore.

Speaker 1 There's Norm. He used to be a mortgage broker in Canada.

Speaker 77 That's terrifying.

Speaker 17 If you trusted that guy with your finances and your mortgage, and then you found out that's what he had on the bank.

Speaker 1 Then you found out it's like a chef who's making all these crazy things.

Speaker 80 Oh, yeah, a chef.

Speaker 47 Yeah, let's call that a Canadian chef.

Speaker 91 Yeah.

Speaker 36 Get rid of the keg.

Speaker 76 That's what they're an appetizer.

Speaker 132 Okay.

Speaker 133 What a difference a head tattoo makes, too.

Speaker 76 Christ. It's a real chat.

Speaker 105 You can tell.

Speaker 43 No, you can tell by the soulless eyes.

Speaker 45 He's got no lids.

Speaker 51 They're dry as hell.

Speaker 1 He looks way different now.

Speaker 26 I hate that.

Speaker 1 Like that, the Poutine video?

Speaker 105 I hate him so much.

Speaker 44 No, I'm actually like really upset right now.

Speaker 1 That's him now.

Speaker 44 No, he's a bad guy.

Speaker 1 But underneath it with the pig.

Speaker 87 See how it says.

Speaker 114 What the fuck is his problem?

Speaker 122 That's him now.

Speaker 1 He got the tattoo pig on his forehead.

Speaker 90 Why is he so sick about pigs?

Speaker 1 He likes being

Speaker 1 submissive to a couple doms.

Speaker 63 Those doms better be getting paid millions upon millions of dollars to go near.

Speaker 1 I think they're getting anything they can get out of them.

Speaker 80 The smell that radiates off of that pig-pissing clown, I can't.

Speaker 1 What's crazy is what you're saying right now is making him so hard.

Speaker 83 I know.

Speaker 86 Does he watch this?

Speaker 75 I don't know.

Speaker 62 No, he can't look at me.

Speaker 20 I should try tick cups for Hustler.

Speaker 76 Tick cups.

Speaker 10 Just show her.

Speaker 30 I saw the tick cup. I saw they swell them up.

Speaker 61 They push them in.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 47 So he doesn't have boobs done.

Speaker 33 He just puts them in these cups.

Speaker 100 That looks nice.

Speaker 124 That's a nice angle.

Speaker 71 His pig Norman Summerton.

Speaker 23 Full name.

Speaker 73 Summerton.

Speaker 102 Good.

Speaker 71 Seven hours now today.

Speaker 117 Seven hours.

Speaker 19 Can you do that?

Speaker 50 This man, this is a bad man.

Speaker 17 I hate this man more than I've hated anybody.

Speaker 38 He's a bad bat guy.

Speaker 50 He's just got a good job. He's a sweet guy.

Speaker 31 Different interests.

Speaker 85 Yeah, this is his hot.

Speaker 136 Look at these tick cups.

Speaker 42 Look at these tit cups.

Speaker 85 And also, in the middle of the day.

Speaker 19 Seven hours.

Speaker 76 It's a long time.

Speaker 17 Oh, the sound of his armpit was stuck in that pit.

Speaker 1 Isn't that crazy? I mean.

Speaker 77 He loves this.

Speaker 94 Yeah.

Speaker 76 I know I do.

Speaker 94 He really does.

Speaker 1 It's crazy that you're not a fan of a really well-known Canadian.

Speaker 116 Stop.

Speaker 73 Celine Beyond.

Speaker 72 This is on par.

Speaker 113 That was her old husband.

Speaker 28 He's that same age.

Speaker 50 Yeah. All right.

Speaker 1 enough upsetting you. Anyway, I got something for you.

Speaker 112 Check it out.

Speaker 39 Oh, Tom.

Speaker 127 I also got a nice salmon fillet. It's a little bit of leche.
I like the light milk. Here we are.
Got to get those super soft brioche buttons. Can't forget about a super nice, delicious cake here.

Speaker 127 I'm joking.

Speaker 102 I'm not getting that.

Speaker 39 Dude, that was funny.

Speaker 94 Couple boxes of those.

Speaker 50 Anyway,

Speaker 112 whatever. Yeah, go ahead.

Speaker 51 Those shorts are crazy. They're crazy.

Speaker 72 No.

Speaker 10 It's full anus. What?

Speaker 47 Boards just don't wear pants.

Speaker 111 But this is what gay guys do.

Speaker 90 They just wear it. No, women wear those too.

Speaker 124 Yeah, they do.

Speaker 86 Those pants are just like, at this point, I'd rather a bare ass.

Speaker 1 We're used to seeing women and shit like this at this point.

Speaker 112 Women wear stuff like this all the time.

Speaker 90 All the time. I love this.

Speaker 33 I think more gay men should wear this.

Speaker 78 Look at that ass.

Speaker 127 The stuff's the ball. He's so good.
These little Chio Bonnies here.

Speaker 15 Look at Obonnie.

Speaker 102 Let's see the front.

Speaker 37 Let's see the front. Oh, the front's small.

Speaker 55 He's wearing a thong.

Speaker 44 But it's tucked in.

Speaker 5 Oh, he's wearing a thong.

Speaker 48 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 72 His ass is insane.

Speaker 112 That's his real ass.

Speaker 29 I think those are implants.

Speaker 17 No, those might be implants because they're so feminine.

Speaker 101 They're so round.

Speaker 9 No, you know what?

Speaker 14 That's a Canadian.

Speaker 40 Okay, I made it down here. He said, I can't make it down here.

Speaker 66 They're maple cookies.

Speaker 75 Yeah, I know those are broken.

Speaker 50 You should see an asshole kind of thing.

Speaker 44 I'm looking for it.

Speaker 72 Those are definitely implants. I love them.

Speaker 112 He does have a thong on, doesn't he?

Speaker 68 Huh? Does he have a thong on?

Speaker 102 Or he's wearing nothing at all. Yeah.

Speaker 27 He's got a G-string on under.

Speaker 72 Where are you?

Speaker 68 Oh, buddy.

Speaker 127 Can't forget my peanut butter.

Speaker 78 Oh, there it is.

Speaker 33 And there was the shake.

Speaker 1 And then there's Edney shaking his head.

Speaker 48 I bet.

Speaker 63 I bet this guy doesn't get shadow banned on TikTok the way I do.

Speaker 62 And that's a full asshole.

Speaker 17 And I even say, I say A-Nuis, and I'm blocked for like three months.

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 52 And that guy's full A-hole is in a fucking crowded grocery store.

Speaker 121 It's insane. It's crazy.

Speaker 122 How's that allowed?

Speaker 79 You're right. It should stop.

Speaker 76 He should be banned.

Speaker 39 I agree.

Speaker 94 Can't want you kicked out.

Speaker 38 He's not eating peanut butter if his ass looks like that because that's a firm ass.

Speaker 6 See, this is one of those people that can consistently self-loathe. Like, so what is it about these types? They can just stay fit all the time.

Speaker 69 Like they don't fall into like five day long benders.

Speaker 77 Because I think once you get to this body, once you're at that, like jacked up, I think you're just like, it's like a new drug.

Speaker 76 Yeah.

Speaker 30 You're just like you're high on your fucking abs.

Speaker 103 Like you're just like, like roid it out.

Speaker 38 You're all fucking.

Speaker 1 And plus, it's reaffirmed all day, right? Because you step out of your house like that, and everyone's like, yo, like all day.

Speaker 66 Yes.

Speaker 1 And so you go, if I dial it back, I'm going to stop getting this

Speaker 1 positive affirmations of like, wow.

Speaker 50 Everyone's saying wow to you.

Speaker 87 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 35 Asking how you get like that.

Speaker 54 What is your workout?

Speaker 38 Oh, yeah. He's getting a lot of attention.
Wow.

Speaker 1 But then it also has to consume a lot of your too much energy.

Speaker 43 Going to the gym, if people go, I have an hour.

Speaker 55 That's it.

Speaker 63 I hit the hour cap and I'm like, I hate this.

Speaker 76 You have to, of course.

Speaker 17 One hour, that's enough.

Speaker 42 When people spend like their whole life, one hour is enough, dude.

Speaker 17 It's simply enough. It is.

Speaker 37 We've hit the max here.

Speaker 63 You do your workout, you futz around, you get the hell out of there.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So a couple weeks ago, we were exposed to this story that happened in the news, okay?

Speaker 93 Okay.

Speaker 1 Of a woman who was scammed. So I want to show it to you so you have some reference.

Speaker 18 God.

Speaker 131 The Santa Bay Area woman is out tens of thousands of dollars after she says she sent money to a scammer who said he was celebrity Keanu Reed.

Speaker 29 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 131 Diane Ringstaff said she was playing words with friends when somebody messaged her saying he was the Hollywood actor. They started chatting over the next two years.

Speaker 131 Diane said she saw Keanu

Speaker 51 slapped his ears too.

Speaker 131 And then he sent her audio messages.

Speaker 3 Good morning, my sunshine Diane. As you said last night, I am sending this recording to let you know that I cherish you and that I am loyal to you.
You will always be my queen.

Speaker 138 Have a great day today, Diane.

Speaker 21 Love you.

Speaker 3 Kisses from your loving Keanu.

Speaker 131 Keanu said he needed tens of thousands of dollars in Bitcoin and cryptocurrency for help with legal troubles.

Speaker 12 Sure.

Speaker 139 Knowing what I know now and all the technology that's out there

Speaker 139 and fake voices and everything else, you know, ding, ding, ding.

Speaker 105 Ding, ding, ding.

Speaker 51 The witch is dead over here.

Speaker 36 I can't believe that woman showed her face after that.

Speaker 41 It's unbelievable.

Speaker 16 More to fight, if that was me. Yeah.

Speaker 58 More fight.

Speaker 36 She's like, and now that I know, I didn't even think about a voice.

Speaker 47 Was that her?

Speaker 113 Or was that Keanu's voice?

Speaker 25 Because it wasn't even close.

Speaker 1 What's crazy is that Keanu has started messaging us. Yes.
I think because he felt bad about what happened to Earth, so the real guy has been like.

Speaker 138 Hey, Tom, so sorry to hear about your struggles with Invisalign, your beautiful face, warm energy, and precious teeth.

Speaker 41 I prefer your thoughts and prayers forever.

Speaker 76 Wow. Wow.
Isn't that crazy?

Speaker 51 The fact that this guy is getting by with an impression that bad.

Speaker 1 This is just AI generation.

Speaker 90 It's just AI, Keanu.

Speaker 95 It has to be, but now he's on us. You know what's weird?

Speaker 138 I am drowning in legal troubles that I cannot elaborate on right now.

Speaker 124 Okay,

Speaker 138 send me money, and I will send you money.

Speaker 22 It sounds kind of Keanu-ish.

Speaker 9 Not at all.

Speaker 123 What?

Speaker 39 I'm convinced.

Speaker 10 I'm getting to send him some money.

Speaker 105 People, I've been getting a lot of fake Keanu reviews on TikTok DMing me.

Speaker 61 Really?

Speaker 52 That I'm like beautiful. It's like, hits me, Keanu, and it's like one follower.

Speaker 38 I'm like, it ain't you, Keanu.

Speaker 23 Voice or text?

Speaker 38 No, no, just text. Just text.

Speaker 1 It's probably him. Send him money.

Speaker 38 They haven't asked for money yet.

Speaker 30 I find that so.

Speaker 116 I feel bad.

Speaker 1 Yeah, of course. But you also realize that, like, I mean, the older generation has no idea about the camera.
They're just like, oh, this has to be.

Speaker 22 How could somebody impersonate?

Speaker 30 How are you not FaceTiming one time?

Speaker 114 I would need one.

Speaker 33 I would FaceTime make sure that I'm talking about it.

Speaker 65 I said that there was a video chat even on the other side.

Speaker 15 Otherwise,

Speaker 83 a video.

Speaker 76 How was there a video?

Speaker 138 Wow, mommy, you are so funny and talented and creative and nice and beautiful and physically attractive. Oh, physical.

Speaker 70 Thank you, Keanu.

Speaker 26 Wow.

Speaker 40 Now I want some Keanu messages.

Speaker 138 Show me how those big tits fart.

Speaker 68 Oh,

Speaker 108 she's really specific.

Speaker 124 Dialing in.

Speaker 58 I mean, I can see how one can get taken away with this.

Speaker 76 I mean, he's really.

Speaker 33 Every day he sends a message to her.

Speaker 138 Tom, your thick Peruvian cock is so vascular. It makes me salivate like a dog hungry for a bone.

Speaker 50 Wow, that's Keanu Reef.

Speaker 76 Wow.

Speaker 42 Wow. That's insane.

Speaker 35 Actual Keanu Reeves.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 128 Huh.

Speaker 1 That is so crazy.

Speaker 86 That is insane.

Speaker 90 I didn't know he was such a fan of it.

Speaker 42 I don't know.

Speaker 89 Is Keanu Canadian?

Speaker 130 No, I think he's Kanani.

Speaker 129 He took acting classes from one of my teachers, and he kept bragging about that.

Speaker 98 He's like, my biggest acting, Keanu Reeves.

Speaker 46 Do you know anything about him? We're all like, get to him.

Speaker 64 Where was he born?

Speaker 22 Where was Keanu born?

Speaker 138 Good morning, my sunshine.

Speaker 138 Diane, it's me, Keanu.

Speaker 138 I will love you like you've never been loved before. I will cherish you.
I'll make you feel like a woman.

Speaker 22 A real woman.

Speaker 92 A real woman.

Speaker 25 I love that. A real woman.

Speaker 123 Oh, I was born in Lebanon.

Speaker 124 What? I had no clue. What a life.

Speaker 89 Did he live in Canada?

Speaker 33 Am I making this up?

Speaker 1 He's 60 years old.

Speaker 14 He's 60 years old and he's buried in legal troubles.

Speaker 41 Look at him.

Speaker 41 Absolutely swapped.

Speaker 76 The only way out of this?

Speaker 23 Fucking Bitcoin, man. Diane.

Speaker 96 Diane.

Speaker 43 You know, ding, ding.

Speaker 98 God. Look at her daisy.

Speaker 110 She looks like cigarettes.

Speaker 50 Like, you can tell.

Speaker 77 Oh, yeah. She's just was smoking and she was wiring piano money.

Speaker 54 Old lady, $160,000.

Speaker 96 Where did she get the money from?

Speaker 9 That's what I was doing.

Speaker 39 How the fuck did she have that money?

Speaker 1 Life savings, dude.

Speaker 47 She could have fixed those bleffs.

Speaker 51 Oh, yeah. Those blefts.

Speaker 88 You probably even tuck that up. Are these bleffs or are these bleffs?

Speaker 26 Are you bluffing?

Speaker 1 I got bleffs right here.

Speaker 66 And you got upper bleffs, too. Oh, I don't want to.

Speaker 91 Oh, when it comes down?

Speaker 118 I got to trim my eyelids.

Speaker 57 I'm going to do it in June.

Speaker 118 You're trimming the lids. Get them trimmed.

Speaker 50 Upper blefts.

Speaker 108 Lifting the blefs.

Speaker 71 Lifting the blefts. Just trimming them.
Trimming.

Speaker 104 Just a light trim.

Speaker 47 Just, yeah, just a bang trim.

Speaker 28 Just a bleff trim.

Speaker 53 Just a small little,

Speaker 88 put a bowl on there.

Speaker 72 She could do it. I told her I'd do it.

Speaker 45 I could do it again. Why are you doing the eyes?

Speaker 20 It's just they're drooping.

Speaker 57 And my dad did it at my age, too.

Speaker 29 It's like kinetics.

Speaker 42 Okay.

Speaker 32 I don't like how it looks.

Speaker 91 Like, I don't like it.

Speaker 28 I would never look at you and say, fat lids.

Speaker 72 I'm going to say a lot of fucking bleffs on this bitch. Oh, God.

Speaker 15 Makeup artists. Bluffed out.

Speaker 58 She was like, you should really get your blephs.

Speaker 88 How dare you?

Speaker 50 I was like, You're right.

Speaker 28 It'd be like every makeup person would be like, You should get a no job.

Speaker 54 I'd be like, Thank you.

Speaker 63 I've never thought about that before.

Speaker 64 Internet

Speaker 64 a lot, man.

Speaker 93 It's crazy.

Speaker 77 Keanu is horned up.

Speaker 11 She's horned up.

Speaker 90 Because this is the shit he was saying to her.

Speaker 15 And he's like, Can I get some cryptocurrency?

Speaker 50 And you're like, Oh, yeah.

Speaker 66 You're like, Kena reefs.

Speaker 54 You're like, I'm bricked up right now.

Speaker 38 I need a little crypto for my hard cock.

Speaker 121 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 138 It really hurts me that you don't believe I'm real. but still, I'm really excited to see those hustler poses.

Speaker 39 Wow.

Speaker 39 Wow.

Speaker 91 Oh, my God. Keanu.

Speaker 39 How much money do you want?

Speaker 122 Wow.

Speaker 76 Wow. Also, why do you think?

Speaker 138 I slept like a homo last night.

Speaker 76 Wow.

Speaker 11 What does that mean?

Speaker 63 With a dick in his ass?

Speaker 1 No, just like really well, like tired.

Speaker 39 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 50 Okay.

Speaker 22 Yeah, because they get more tired.

Speaker 46 He acted for crypto things.

Speaker 91 Oh, wait, why am I believing you? It's true.

Speaker 86 Yeah, they get more tired.

Speaker 30 They get tired. Homosexual may get more tired than

Speaker 1 you slept like when it means you slept really deeply.

Speaker 66 Yeah, because gays sleep deeper.

Speaker 90 Where's this fat coming from?

Speaker 1 From because of fact, because they have more anal and they get more tired.

Speaker 59 It's more tiring to do anal than vaginal sex. Everybody knows this.
Yeah.

Speaker 36 Really?

Speaker 1 If you get pounded for hours in your ass, you're going to want to break.

Speaker 35 Hours?

Speaker 140 You're going to need to sleep.

Speaker 69 That's too long.

Speaker 104 I agree. We're capital

Speaker 95 at 30 minutes here.

Speaker 65 30 minutes.

Speaker 116 Yeah, that's also too long.

Speaker 28 That seems like I'm in and out like a fiddler's elbow.

Speaker 38 We don't need to be doing it that long.

Speaker 42 Okay, here we go.

Speaker 64 Yeah, why did he choose cryptocurrency i anonymity harder to trust yeah oh smart cancel there's a smart great smart there's a great job

Speaker 1 about one of the biggest um

Speaker 1 like cryptocurrency like robberies of all time was this like this dopey couple and they they stole i forget how they stole billions worth billions but then you have you like you go well how like if if you try to retrieve it like like you know that's when feds can come on you yeah so then you're trying to like funnel it to like a

Speaker 76 offshore offshore kind of

Speaker 1 like flea market of crypto stuff and try to get it out that way these people got away with it for years but then

Speaker 20 but it was it was billions they had billions yeah that's a name it's a netflix doc greedy greedy just take a couple hundred bucks why don't we try we should prank call like robert paul champagne with ai cam he would a hundred percent believe that he would believe it and he would send him money.

Speaker 5 Oh, God.

Speaker 46 I don't care if you're colonia.

Speaker 58 I'm pretty busy right now, but Kidu's very much in live with me guys. Because he does think that celebrities are into him.

Speaker 1 I know. I know.

Speaker 28 Who's this guy?

Speaker 93 I don't know anybody.

Speaker 22 Oh, I'll show you.

Speaker 129 He's up here. Yeah.

Speaker 84 There he is.

Speaker 106 This is Robert Paul.

Speaker 119 We could easily do an AI Cano call.

Speaker 62 Does he answer all the time?

Speaker 74 This guy.

Speaker 93 He's like five different. Black guys who love the fuck the fuck good.

Speaker 141 If you're a hot black guy, you want to fuck me at $23.95. If you want to move in, you can move in, but you gotta fuck me.

Speaker 141 I need to be fucked a lot.

Speaker 96 It looks like three of my allies.

Speaker 71 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 39 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 26 God damn it.

Speaker 35 It's upsetting as hell.

Speaker 16 So, you know what?

Speaker 142 You had to do me in here. Yeah.

Speaker 135 Yeah.

Speaker 68 I'm gonna come now.

Speaker 76 I'm gonna come now.

Speaker 71 I'm coming.

Speaker 76 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, god,

Speaker 48 what is this on?

Speaker 56 What is this on?

Speaker 76 It's Hulu.

Speaker 94 I don't understand.

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 90 Oh, yeah. Why is he still going?

Speaker 105 Oh, my God.

Speaker 87 That's not real.

Speaker 34 This is as long as your intro.

Speaker 77 That's not real.

Speaker 91 Do you know where this really was on?

Speaker 76 It was on YouTube.

Speaker 39 No.

Speaker 26 Yeah, he got kicked off.

Speaker 91 No fucking kidding.

Speaker 78 Good Christ.

Speaker 29 This is why we don't let our kids on YouTube.

Speaker 30 No, your kids shouldn't be on any form of the internet.

Speaker 33 Lock them away.

Speaker 50 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 26 That was such a long calm, right?

Speaker 101 If a man did it on top of me, I'd call the police.

Speaker 79 Officer come jump the total pig Officer Cum Dump.

Speaker 76 Oh, he's sniffing off the cum dump. What's he doing?

Speaker 79 Officer come jump likes it wild

Speaker 79 and tilty. That's right.
Officer come jump will take it like a man. I will bend down and you could bang me as you fit as you can.

Speaker 47 Well, get it straight, buddy. Don't be slurring.

Speaker 98 We don't know what you're doing.

Speaker 26 Don't be sending that message out there.

Speaker 1 Does this also make you think that, like, after what we've shown you, that just men are just generally more deviant pigs, right?

Speaker 36 Like, we're... I mean, I think I didn't come here thinking that it wasn't true.

Speaker 86 I do believe this. Yeah, they're going to be.

Speaker 1 We reaffirmed it, though.

Speaker 47 I well, you refer me to this dark part of the internet that I like to avoid.

Speaker 86 Damn it.

Speaker 32 What?

Speaker 114 I like to just, I'm wholesome.

Speaker 113 I mean, I only watch Lawn Order SVU.

Speaker 30 That's as far as I go.

Speaker 62 And then I keep it.

Speaker 77 But still.

Speaker 95 You're a very liberated gal.

Speaker 137 I am.

Speaker 133 Did you spend time with boys growing up?

Speaker 6 Like, where, how did you get to be so cool?

Speaker 88 So cool?

Speaker 115 What I mean by that is a lot of times women get trapped in like the societal stuff of like you can't laugh at farts.

Speaker 55 You can't be gross.

Speaker 94 You can't be whatever.

Speaker 69 How did you get out of the matrix?

Speaker 30 I think it's my family. My grandma was always gross.

Speaker 47 Her quote, she kept saying, she's like, go to the bathroom when you can, sit down with you can.

Speaker 35 Let the air blow free wherever you be. She always was farting.

Speaker 20 She'd fart.

Speaker 104 I had charged and go, whatever.

Speaker 47 I had to get it out.

Speaker 35 Like, she didn't give a shit. Yeah.

Speaker 34 And then my mom was like that.

Speaker 62 And my aunt.

Speaker 61 And then my Bulgarian family was gross.

Speaker 52 So I was never, no, there was no classy women in my life. I wasn't like looking up to some like hoity-toity.

Speaker 30 Like, we were all, I remember my first, like, the first things my parents ever did, fart in front of me.

Speaker 74 Like, non-stop.

Speaker 30 Like, me and my dad bonded one summer and my sister over Blue Angels at the cottage.

Speaker 17 Do you know how to do Blue Angel?

Speaker 40 When you like, bend,

Speaker 30 how have you not had this on here yet?

Speaker 34 You bend over and you light a match and your fart.

Speaker 104 It's like a fireball.

Speaker 120 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 35 So we turns out we're all very good at doing those.

Speaker 63 Thank you, Daddy, for passing that down.

Speaker 52 So yeah, me and my sister, all the three of us, put our matches.

Speaker 1 You and your boo-boo, do you guys fart in front of each other?

Speaker 66 Yeah, and he hates it. He hates it.

Speaker 68 Uh-oh.

Speaker 40 He gets so mad, and I do it.

Speaker 83 But it means, but you know why?

Speaker 58 Steph, because he's a real whitey.

Speaker 1 I know.

Speaker 59 He's an Aryan guy.

Speaker 110 But he farts.

Speaker 51 But he's born-again Christian.

Speaker 29 Okay. There you go.
He's ashamed about it.

Speaker 51 No, he's not shamed. He farts.

Speaker 30 He just thinks it's gross when I do it.

Speaker 81 I'm like, yeah, it's disgusting.

Speaker 35 And they always reek.

Speaker 47 It's not good.

Speaker 33 I mean, healthy.

Speaker 43 When you eat healthy, it's like a kale salad's coming to my ass.

Speaker 55 Of course.

Speaker 112 This guy.

Speaker 143 okay we discovered him years ago okay okay i just want to say deadass the reason why i'm wearing this fucking yellow fucking weird thing

Speaker 145 is my ass is gonna be doing community service for the state of utah woo i got a d-u-y baby

Speaker 1 okay this i like this guy's fun this guy i like this guy's fun so um and we've been he's been

Speaker 58 babe he's been in our lives for like a decade yes really started with these videos and then our relationship with him has grown over the last decade.

Speaker 119 And now we're in a life.

Speaker 1 And so now

Speaker 1 we had him come down. We had him do one of those blind date dating things that we hosted with like 50 eligible girls.
And he got to pick, you know, like...

Speaker 1 cross some out and go on a date with one. And then he went back to where he lives in upstate New York.

Speaker 1 He had some legal trouble with his landlord. He got in some fights.
He ended up in jail. God.
He expressed to us that he wants to get into adult entertainment.

Speaker 1 And so we set up a shoot for him, him and Alexis Fox, who's like a real-time.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So she was like, yeah, I'll do a scene with you.
And he's like over the moon, but he's been in and out of jail a lot lately.

Speaker 26 Okay.

Speaker 1 So anyways, he got out and now he's talking about how it's kind of better to be in. Like it's because he got kicked out of his place.
Anyway, so there's a lot of drama going on with him right now.

Speaker 1 Okay. And we've been trying to get a hold of him.
And it's been tough the last couple days.

Speaker 23 So, I think we can get a hold of him.

Speaker 65 Let's see, is he gonna answer?

Speaker 82 He texted.

Speaker 59 They never answer their phones on the first trial.

Speaker 112 Who guys never do?

Speaker 81 Let's play it's the police.

Speaker 41 There you go.

Speaker 1 Every single time. They say every fucking time.

Speaker 53 They never. Oh my god, I thought that was his answer machine.

Speaker 56 I was like, please say it's a guitar ref.

Speaker 107 I would die.

Speaker 47 This guy should be in a fucking band if that's what he's playing.

Speaker 103 The animals.

Speaker 1 Just say, answer your fucking phone.

Speaker 95 Please text him, like, answer your phone

Speaker 113 I met Alexis. I hosted the Avian Awards.

Speaker 16 Oh, yeah. She's fantastic.

Speaker 26 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 68 She's loved.

Speaker 36 They were all great.

Speaker 83 She's done bits with us.

Speaker 47 Yeah, she's doing a bit with me in two weeks, actually.

Speaker 30 She's great.

Speaker 34 Yeah, she's so funny and fun and great tits.

Speaker 97 Speaking of tits.

Speaker 68 Big milkers.

Speaker 54 Big set of juggies up there.

Speaker 98 Big milkers.

Speaker 54 Very natural. Yabbos.

Speaker 40 Yeah, she's great. Did I bring Yabbos back?

Speaker 77 Yabbos.

Speaker 40 I think Yabbos is funny.

Speaker 89 You just put Yabbos in front.

Speaker 17 My parents called them Lullabinies, and that wasn't real.

Speaker 71 I gotta take a pitch. Sorry, guys.

Speaker 65 You gotta take a pitch? Yeah.

Speaker 145 Okay.

Speaker 101 Go ahead.

Speaker 101 Wow, middle of the podcast.

Speaker 23 Disruption. She's really bad at all.

Speaker 1 She's going to wax her ass is what she's doing.

Speaker 96 She's going to pull her hemoid back in.

Speaker 1 That's what she's doing. Push it back in.

Speaker 28 Poppy poppy.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 52 I can't believe you meet these people in person.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know.

Speaker 48 Don't they love it?

Speaker 1 Some of them are like, you know.

Speaker 88 Like, what the hell?

Speaker 23 Yeah, like, some of them are just like, oh, cool.

Speaker 1 Like, it's fun. And some of them are more apprehensive.

Speaker 1 You get every range of things, yeah. But because you think you're making fun of them or something, no, they don't have that much self-awareness.

Speaker 76 Um,

Speaker 1 you know, Fancy Chef, have you seen him online?

Speaker 33 I haven't seen any of these people.

Speaker 47 All I see is amputees and dog videos.

Speaker 98 I got in a weird burn victim thing recently. I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 55 My algorithm is bad.

Speaker 98 Yeah, a lot of burnt people and a lot of golden retrievers.

Speaker 1 It's very strange.

Speaker 54 Really? Yes.

Speaker 1 My algorithm is insane.

Speaker 91 No fucking kidding.

Speaker 72 Yeah.

Speaker 47 Watching this shit. I just had the moment though.

Speaker 35 Have you ever had your like, your two algorithms like cross over perfectly?

Speaker 99 Uh-huh.

Speaker 47 There's a video of a Dalmatian carrying a pocket pussy.

Speaker 62 Excuse me, it's my TikTok alarm.

Speaker 122 Kill me.

Speaker 53 I have to post a TikTok.

Speaker 74 I'm actually embarrassing.

Speaker 53 Oh, really? That's pathetic. No, it's ignore me.

Speaker 30 Okay.

Speaker 40 I'm so insane.

Speaker 30 My social media. I'm like,

Speaker 101 My go, find this video.

Speaker 47 It's literally a Dalmatian carrying a pocket pussy. And the dog sitter is like, Gladys, put that fucking dog.

Speaker 62 And I'm like, finally, my algorithm make sense.

Speaker 72 Yeah,

Speaker 104 a dog and a pocket pussy.

Speaker 14 That's perfect.

Speaker 1 I get a lot of workplace accidents.

Speaker 50 You know, like

Speaker 1 a car falling on somebody from a lift.

Speaker 80 And they die?

Speaker 1 Sometimes Fancy Chef is this guy.

Speaker 128 Beautiful and nice. Look, look at that chicken.
Look how I got that season. Look, look how I look.
I put my thing in there to get it all in there.

Speaker 102 Looks good.

Speaker 128 You bite that, you get a bite.

Speaker 102 Look at.

Speaker 128 Yeah, fancy. Yeah, fancy, yeah.

Speaker 105 This is why I don't like going to Potluck's.

Speaker 102 You want to leave?

Speaker 51 I don't trust anyone.

Speaker 1 So we flew him down to cook for us.

Speaker 36 And you ate it.

Speaker 68 I took a bite.

Speaker 63 You had 7L poisoning.

Speaker 129 He fingered your chicken, and then you ate it.

Speaker 90 Wait, but you didn't like that he seasoned every morsel?

Speaker 50 I mean, he's the one who's

Speaker 52 like the idea of that guy's dirt corners and his fingernails getting wedged into that chicken.

Speaker 50 He's not dirty. He's impeccably clean.

Speaker 52 You looked at each finger.

Speaker 129 You cleaned it out with your own teeth.

Speaker 78 Oh, that grosses you out.

Speaker 87 Here it is. Look at this.

Speaker 47 This is a perfect video. Yeah.

Speaker 65 Let's see it.

Speaker 94 What is this?

Speaker 129 A dog found a pocket pussy.

Speaker 21 Ew.

Speaker 46 It's so funny.

Speaker 6 I've never seen a pocket pussy.

Speaker 58 Did you know that? I don't know what you're talking about.

Speaker 101 Good. Why would you?

Speaker 19 I can't believe there's one depraved thing I don't know.

Speaker 58 Can you look it up for me?

Speaker 135 A pocket pussy.

Speaker 32 Oh, yeah, you know what that is.

Speaker 112 Like a fleshlight?

Speaker 8 Yeah, that's a fleshlight. Flashlight.

Speaker 25 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 14 Yeah, but it's out of the sheath.

Speaker 52 It's like loose when they take it out.

Speaker 29 Oh, I almost threw up. I felt that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's gross. I have these dolls at the house that are just like torsos.

Speaker 15 Oh, and you fuck them?

Speaker 89 Yeah.

Speaker 76 Just a torso.

Speaker 124 I've seen those legs.

Speaker 55 Oh, they're weird.

Speaker 27 Weird. You see those?

Speaker 40 No, they're bizarre. He answered.

Speaker 50 He answered.

Speaker 94 Okay, so what's going on? So what's up?

Speaker 13 Tony? Tony?

Speaker 144 Yes, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, man.
What's going on, players?

Speaker 50 Hey, what's up, man?

Speaker 76 What are you up to?

Speaker 144 Oh, dude, yo, dude, Tom, dude. Holy shit, dude.
No, no, hear me out, brother. Okay.
Bigger city, way more opportunity. Dude, some of these videos I'm doing are just out of sight.

Speaker 50 Wait, what city are you in?

Speaker 147 Where are you?

Speaker 144 Yes, sir. Yo, dude.
Oh, man, it's out of sight. This is

Speaker 144 the candy store.

Speaker 130 Where are you?

Speaker 144 Yeah, yeah. So I am downtown Syracuse, New York.

Speaker 130 Okay.

Speaker 144 Yo, Tom, dude, I'm loving this down here, boys. You know, yeah, it's like, yo, this is literally like Mexico.
Like, for real.

Speaker 144 there ain't no laws yeah there's no laws in syrac everybody knows that what's what's um dude yo this is wild brother what kind of videos have you been doing oh dude we're talking i mean yo it's like i turn hate into money you know what i'm saying yo tom so check it out okay dude i i've been going to this really really fancy uh you know bar slash uh restaurant dude uh the past couple days because dude i'm down here you know talking to these rich chicks you know i'm loving these rich ladies brother for real yeah you know, they because yo, Tom, like, I need some bread, I need some coins.

Speaker 144 So, dude, I've been hitting on these rich chicks, dude. They've been loving me, man.
I got my durag back, I got my hater shades, dude.

Speaker 60 I'm loving it down here.

Speaker 68 Oh, wait a minute.

Speaker 1 Let me back up because I know, I know, a little while ago, you know, I know you were locked up and you got out, and everybody celebrated when you got out. It was a super exciting thing.

Speaker 1 They're like, oh, Tony's free. This is awesome.
But then I saw that you had to move into like a hotel.

Speaker 23 Are you do you have housing right now?

Speaker 144 Um, so in two days, I will be homeless again. I, um, I don't, I've been relying on my fans, you know, I love my fans, all the donations, uh, just to pay for these hotels.

Speaker 144 They are very, very expensive, Tom. Yeah, I mean, dude, you, you guys are even helping, which I love.
You know, that's why I love you guys. But, yo, there, I mean, it's like 400 a week, man.

Speaker 144 And it's, and I'm at the red roof now, dude. It's like 70, 80 bucks a night.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a, it's a a lot.
And then are you still, you are doing video? Are you doing OnlyFans still?

Speaker 144 Yes, sir. Yep, yep.
So

Speaker 144 it's kind of sad. My fan base is only at 21 right now, but

Speaker 144 I'm still doing good on the OnlyFans. You know, that's just, you know, steady income.

Speaker 112 Is it mostly like solo content or customs or what?

Speaker 144 100%. All solos, man.
All solos, dude.

Speaker 144 I'm not out here, you know, like banging chicks. You know, I'm out here trying to, trying to hustle, you know, trying to get my OnlyFans up and running my comedy.

Speaker 144 You know what I'm saying like i'm loving all this man i'm taking all this in well yeah you're a worker are you doing uh 100 are you doing are you doing the worker yes sir are you doing stand-up

Speaker 144 uh no so uh ed bass master in a couple months um i've never done a stand-up show before tom so ed bass master is gonna um get me a ticket down to uh

Speaker 144 uh uh pa or uh either pa or rochester new york and he's gonna have me do it do a skit for a you know five ten minute skit No shit. I'm just getting some content right now, man.
That's great, though.

Speaker 144 Tom, thanks, yo, Tom, thanks for them tickets, bro, to your show.

Speaker 76 Holy fuck, my pleasure.

Speaker 1 My pleasure, man.

Speaker 1 I'm glad you got your comments.

Speaker 144 Tom, dude, I was downstairs on the, you know, you know, those three bars, the club's bars?

Speaker 102 Uh-huh.

Speaker 144 Dude, yo, Tom, dude. Like, I showed up there and, like, the lady was like, oh, you're Tony Johns.
Like the

Speaker 144 club promoter, dude. She was like, oh, yo, you're Tony Johns.
I said, yeah, yeah. And

Speaker 144 she was like, you're,

Speaker 144 you know you're um

Speaker 144 you're on the you know YMH show I said yeah and dude she she gave me everything dude like I can I could go to any club like all all inclusive dog like oh

Speaker 144 whatever you need oh yeah hell yeah didn't you

Speaker 115 can I ask you something though what's up with your sketch with Alexis Fox any progress

Speaker 130 uh

Speaker 144 yeah I'm ready whenever she's ready for real I need to be honest with you I need money I'm whenever she's ready I'm ready there's no rush but whenever she's ready tell her to hit me up because I'm game.

Speaker 68 Let's go.

Speaker 95 Can you leave New York?

Speaker 148 Yeah, yeah. We were okay.

Speaker 144 I am, so I just have to do anger management and sex therapy. But other than that, I'm golden.
I can, I can travel down to Vegas. Yeah, oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Did the courts made you take anger management?

Speaker 144 Yep, yep. So that was my

Speaker 144 way out of the jailhouse, you know, the Cougar County.

Speaker 68 Cougar County, man.

Speaker 60 Sea Block.

Speaker 148 Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 144 So I'm, yo, dude, was the the, let me tell, it was the anger management counseling and sex therapy counseling. I do not have to take any medication because I don't need it.

Speaker 144 My therapist didn't diagnose me.

Speaker 144 Yep.

Speaker 10 What did they diagnose you?

Speaker 144 Yeah. So what was I?

Speaker 110 What is your diagnosis?

Speaker 144 Yeah, so it's like I've been saying the whole time. It's anxiety.
Yeah. It's actually severe anxiety.
I could be on benefits for my anxiety.

Speaker 144 It's PTSD from my past, always being locked up and in uh in facilities, and then it's also anger, so it's bipolar, I'm always up and down, and then it's uh ADHD, so I have a hard time sitting still.

Speaker 130 I cannot sit still.

Speaker 1 I wonder if you could get in on this hustler shoot I know coming up. Um,

Speaker 60 what's the uh

Speaker 60 dude?

Speaker 144 Oh, yo, dog, you are speaking my language.

Speaker 1 Let me try, I'll see what I can do. I'm gonna make some calls.

Speaker 130 Um, yes, sir.

Speaker 148 God damn, so

Speaker 68 so we'll uh

Speaker 68 what's next for you?

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 68 are you gonna

Speaker 147 I'm ready?

Speaker 144 Put me in, coach.

Speaker 57 Please. Wait, you're in New York right now, right? Like,

Speaker 60 Syracuse.

Speaker 144 Yeah, I'm in Syracuse walking around, you know, trying to talk to these

Speaker 144 rich ladies here, trying to get me some cash going, you know?

Speaker 68 Hell yeah.

Speaker 41 Good. Hell yeah.
Get that money.

Speaker 76 Do you put on a chauffeur?

Speaker 1 What do you do? Do you stroke it for them?

Speaker 94 How do you get them to donate?

Speaker 144 No, no, to be honest. Yo, to be honest, Woody Tom,

Speaker 144 I'm a real ballsy dude. You know, I like having fun, dude.
I'll just go straight up to the girl and I'll say, hey, you know, can I, you know, buy you a drink? And I'll go from there.

Speaker 144 But a lot of the times, dude, I'll just kind of sit back in my chair and they'll just kind of be looking at me. I'll be looking at them.

Speaker 144 You know, I'll just kind of sit back. And to be honest, what you do, that kind of creepy, bro.

Speaker 144 Just kind of sit back and, you know, just kind of put on a little show for them, you know, wink at them, blow them some kisses.

Speaker 76 I love that.

Speaker 130 Oh, yeah, yes, sir.

Speaker 76 I love that.

Speaker 147 Hey, yes, sir.

Speaker 144 I love ladies, man. You know, I'm a true sex therapist.

Speaker 110 Tony, what is sex therapy?

Speaker 144 So that's something my counselor did recommend.

Speaker 144 Because, yeah, she was like, yo, dude, like, you got an issue with sex here, man.

Speaker 135 Yeah.

Speaker 140 What?

Speaker 144 Like, a lot of people.

Speaker 60 They're all sexed up.

Speaker 6 Do you believe that?

Speaker 133 Do you think you have a thing with sex?

Speaker 144 Huh?

Speaker 6 Do you think that way, too?

Speaker 144 Oh, fuck yeah, 100%.

Speaker 130 I've known him since for a long time.

Speaker 144 Yeah, like,

Speaker 144 I just, I love pleasure in myself.

Speaker 144 Like, I like the feeling, you know, like, Christina, like, it may sound sexy to a lot of women, but, like, I like pleasuring a woman, like, making her, like, you know, like, feel good, like, come, and, you know what I'm saying?

Speaker 134 Just like, it turns me down.

Speaker 144 Yeah, it turns me on. So nice.

Speaker 148 I'm being for real. It turns me on, too.

Speaker 60 It turns me on when a girl's turned on.

Speaker 68 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 I love turning women on.

Speaker 144 I love it, man. Seriously, eating, you know, like, I love it all, man.
Like, I'm seriously, like, I love women. It's crazy.
I'm a ladies' man.

Speaker 50 Yeah, you're a ladies' man. I know.

Speaker 68 We're built that way.

Speaker 115 We like to lick box and put fingers in them and make them happy oh dude i'm crazy about pleasure and awakening yeah i love it do you like you like how you been though christina oh i'm good thanks for asking tony i i appreciate that you know we always keep up with you through cougar we're we're updated on you and i'm glad that you got out of jail even though i heard you had a pretty decent time there

Speaker 144 yeah tell me about jail a lot of a lot of the guards i mean the the the the the guard the the lady guards were amazing but the male guards were kind of iffy yeah but at the end of the day i mean mean, dude, yo, the lady guards, they're fucking, they're smoking.

Speaker 135 I mean, they could hot.

Speaker 32 Did you? Did you? Yeah.

Speaker 76 I love a lady in uniform.

Speaker 60 Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 111 Tony, did you hook up?

Speaker 144 Put me in bracelets, you know, put me in the bracelet, sweetie.

Speaker 36 Did you hook up with a lady guard?

Speaker 144 Oh, I fucking wish. No, I fucking wish.
That'd be sexy as fuck.

Speaker 50 Hell yeah. Shout out to Cook College.

Speaker 24 No, fuck. No, I wish

Speaker 144 I was actually like trying. Yo, Tom, dude, Christina, I was like trying to hook up with one for real.
Sorry, I'm kind of excited. I'm talking to you guys.

Speaker 106 We're excited.

Speaker 69 we're excited wait what how did you try to hook up with her like what how did you tell her you like her

Speaker 144 to be honest i uh it's kind of crazy what i did um she ended up doing her rounds and she was older you know i like my cougars and my milfs hell yeah she was a blonde yeah she was a blonde cougar and uh i just you know i i noticed she was doing her rounds and this is actually really illegal what i'm gonna say I ended up just putting down my gel pants and I just started stroking it and she like stopped, looked in my window and she oh I'll be for real she like licked her lips I'm like oh fuck yeah that's fucking hot I was just boy it was hot as fuck

Speaker 144 like fucking oh fuck yeah like licking her lips because dog what I did is fucking like crazy as fuck

Speaker 1 I was just so fucking yeah dude I was so fucking horny and just I just needed to bust the loads I found that a lot of chicks like to watch watch us stroke it I've I've noticed that just like in my experience yeah they love a lot of times I'll be somewhere and I'll just start you know kind of tugging and I notice that every woman that looks at me gets kind of like worked up.

Speaker 130 Hell yeah.

Speaker 76 Fuck you. By the way,

Speaker 22 dude, Tony,

Speaker 1 I don't know if you have Netflix, but June 24th, my friend Steph Tolev has a new special coming out called Filth Queen. It's so funny, and she's dirty and hilarious.

Speaker 1 I think you got to check it out when it comes out, okay?

Speaker 144 Yeah, fuck yeah. No, I'd love to, bro.

Speaker 147 That's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 84 Steph Tolev, okay?

Speaker 1 I want you to look her up.

Speaker 148 Yes, sir. Okay.

Speaker 136 Nice.

Speaker 20 All right. Well, take care of yourself, Tony.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Yeah, don't go to jail.

Speaker 76 Stay out of jail.

Speaker 144 No, no, I'm trying my hardest not to go to jail.

Speaker 58 Okay, and get to Las Vegas.

Speaker 6 We got to get you with Alexis.

Speaker 1 We got to get you with Alexis.

Speaker 144 Yes, yes, please. I'm ready whenever you guys are.
For real. Thanks.

Speaker 24 Okay. Thanks for everything, Tony.

Speaker 68 Absolutely, bro.

Speaker 104 We'll talk to you soon. Stay safe, buddy.

Speaker 144 Bye, man. I love you guys.

Speaker 76 We love you, too. Okay.

Speaker 76 Bye-bye.

Speaker 58 Wait, so he can leave the state of New York.

Speaker 52 This is huge. Jefferson's mom is a cougar and she's a babe and she lives in Syracuse.

Speaker 44 And I'm like, that whole conversation, I was like, I got to get her on the phone.

Speaker 88 I'm like, I'm about to call her the second we're done this and make sure she never talks to this man.

Speaker 83 I'm terrified right now. He's so sweet.

Speaker 107 No, no, she is.

Speaker 26 He's a sweetheart.

Speaker 33 That man is not going near her. She's single and she is very attractive.

Speaker 52 And I swear to God, I am, I'm so upset right now.

Speaker 85 I have to tell you.

Speaker 104 I'm literally upset.

Speaker 76 I have to tell you.

Speaker 43 Literally, he's going to fucking talk to her.

Speaker 114 I know he is.

Speaker 86 He's a sweetheart. Damn it.

Speaker 26 He's harmless.

Speaker 66 He's such a sweet guy.

Speaker 45 He's harmless.

Speaker 106 He's been in

Speaker 91 jail.

Speaker 51 He's so sweet.

Speaker 78 Several times for sex addict stuff.

Speaker 87 What are these?

Speaker 96 What has he done?

Speaker 45 He's harmless.

Speaker 46 Compared to the other guys we've showcased on the show, he's sweet, you know?

Speaker 62 Pigman.

Speaker 46 You know what? You just need to open your heart.

Speaker 77 That's my problem.

Speaker 66 And your heart.

Speaker 109 I'm closed in. You're too close.

Speaker 101 I'm closed up. Yeah.

Speaker 70 Yeah. That's it.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 143 One more thing for all you young bucks going out to the club tonight. One last thing.
What you got to look out for, and this is what, you know, my...

Speaker 143 One of my good buddies, you know, was telling me about, and I've tried it numerous times and it really works. Look out for body language.

Speaker 137 Good tip.

Speaker 35 Good tip. Good tip.
Absolutely key.

Speaker 59 Anxiety, ADHD, and bipolar.

Speaker 140 That tracks.

Speaker 38 That tracks. That's a lot of stuff.
It's wonderful. And sex addiction.

Speaker 115 That's wondering. And sex addiction.

Speaker 99 And stroking addiction.

Speaker 76 He likes to

Speaker 76 stroke that. What's going on?

Speaker 50 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 That female guard was like,

Speaker 149 that did not happen.

Speaker 101 I swear to God.

Speaker 67 Can I ask you guys something for reals?

Speaker 119 Do you think, do people in the real world lick their lips when they're in desire?

Speaker 6 Like, or is that just a porn?

Speaker 96 I think it's an old man thing.

Speaker 31 It's an old, creepy Armenian maze.

Speaker 52 Yeah, it's an old man thing. I think our generation stopped doing it.

Speaker 76 But women are not.

Speaker 24 Women do like it, though.

Speaker 63 Yeah, women love that.

Speaker 25 Nothing like walking around.

Speaker 1 I've gone up to women just going,

Speaker 26 and they're always like, oh, ooh, I'm wet.

Speaker 39 Ooh, I'm so

Speaker 29 do it again.

Speaker 137 Show me.

Speaker 135 Oh.

Speaker 129 If you look at the sound of it, too, is very vile.

Speaker 104 It's like dry, but also wet. Very strange.

Speaker 1 I stopped doing it because I don't want them to get too worked up.

Speaker 38 That's the problem. Yeah.

Speaker 29 Well, and just stroking your hog in public. Oh,

Speaker 74 you're stroke and doing that at the same time. That's the combo.

Speaker 38 Yeah, that's the combo you gotta do.

Speaker 51 That really.

Speaker 51 Women will just start

Speaker 34 taking off.

Speaker 30 Also hilarious.

Speaker 52 You think women take off their shirts like a man from the back?

Speaker 39 Yeah.

Speaker 39 That's why I get ready to fuck my boyfriend over here.

Speaker 91 Take off my jersey.

Speaker 76 Suck hot.

Speaker 1 Which girl will take it off. Oh, from the bottom.

Speaker 76 Yeah.

Speaker 123 Crisscrossed. So gay.

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 90 And I'm going to do that to my boyfriend today and see if he says anything.

Speaker 38 So manly.

Speaker 124 Hold on a second. Maybe

Speaker 69 I like this instead of crisscross.

Speaker 56 I know, crisscross makes sense.

Speaker 34 Because men are just like, get this off me.

Speaker 28 Women are like, I gotta fold it and get it off.

Speaker 42 Yeah.

Speaker 63 Ripping, just ripping the fucking neck over.

Speaker 6 You know, what's interesting is that what I think excites women sexually is the exact opposite of what men think. it does.

Speaker 20 Like, I like to see men doing, like, I was watching Tom eat a curry at lunch.

Speaker 133 And it was just sweet like he was just being a normal person just eating something and not being anything and I was like oh he's so adorable like he's so attractive and it's never probably when you're trying to be attractive that you find men attractive because when they try to be sexy it's the unsexiest thing like I hate male dancers I hate like male posers like hot posings do you know what it's like

Speaker 6 very well today no no yeah but like when they try to be sexy like 90s R ⁇ B bands that you like like Jodici and stuff.

Speaker 29 Like, I hate that stuff.

Speaker 113 When they're like posing, looking like, like, Jefferson plays piano, that turns me on, right?

Speaker 55 He's like playing.

Speaker 1 What about men doing manly shit?

Speaker 118 Like chopping wood.

Speaker 42 Yeah, like that kind of thing.

Speaker 58 Yeah, because that's competency.

Speaker 57 That's like, oh, you know how to do something.

Speaker 57 Yeah, when people are doing something they're good at, that's always attractive.

Speaker 108 Yes, that's that's attractive.

Speaker 57 Yeah, like you're eating, you're eating. Eating curry.

Speaker 89 You're really.

Speaker 113 Hey, that's your best skill.

Speaker 87 That is kind of eating curry.

Speaker 112 I can't do that much.

Speaker 5 So eating curry for me is up there.

Speaker 23 Yeah. I'm not that capable capable of it.

Speaker 8 Eating curry.

Speaker 41 You can't saw, you can't cut, but you can eat curry real good.

Speaker 1 Do you want to show her your stuff?

Speaker 58 Oh, I'm so excited.

Speaker 69 Are you ready for TikTok?

Speaker 1 For the marginalized community?

Speaker 94 Okay.

Speaker 66 I feel like we've shown you a real wide variety of stuff today.

Speaker 42 I feel sick.

Speaker 30 I think I have a cold now from watching that one video. I feel actually sad.

Speaker 1 That's the YMH experience.

Speaker 5 That's exactly what you're supposed to feel.

Speaker 52 I haven't gagged like that publicly in a very long time.

Speaker 40 Like it was real.

Speaker 38 You did.

Speaker 76 Yeah. Welcome back.
Welcome back.

Speaker 150 Seeing a woman is a really violent experience. We are walking secrets.

Speaker 47 Don't like we want to see you.

Speaker 150 We don't want to hear you.

Speaker 95 Don't tell us how you feel. Makes us uncomfortable.

Speaker 150 We're like harboring a lot of violence all of the time.

Speaker 150 Even in the imagery that we consume, it's like, even if you haven't bounced off of somebody who has violated you in a specific way, we are incredibly violated constantly.

Speaker 150 Having a female body is an overtly political act if you can get out of bed in the morning and not hate yourself. It is

Speaker 60 it's hard.

Speaker 24 That's a hard time.

Speaker 87 Seph, do you?

Speaker 36 How do you feel about that?

Speaker 114 I feel like there was parts of it where I was like, okay.

Speaker 28 And then I was like, getting out of bed in the morning, what the hell?

Speaker 111 She takes it a little too far.

Speaker 86 She takes it way too far.

Speaker 110 Well, I'm just curious to see.

Speaker 6 Because I was like, okay, maybe this isn't my generation. Clearly, I don't feel this violated.

Speaker 58 But like, she's an actress. She's a lesbian actress right now.

Speaker 50 She's with a lady.

Speaker 20 So maybe they're like all against this patriarchy stuff right now.

Speaker 119 Like they're ramping each other up.

Speaker 76 Okay.

Speaker 59 And she is, you know, she makes her living being objectified.

Speaker 95 And maybe that's what she feels.

Speaker 90 Yes.

Speaker 69 But as a whole, like, I don't know that I feel that.

Speaker 33 Well, maybe she's getting like

Speaker 30 hounded online and stuff.

Speaker 47 Like maybe she's getting like right now.

Speaker 40 It's at a peak where she's like every morning getting like threats and like weird shit's been flopping off.

Speaker 62 But I'm like. Yeah.

Speaker 17 The only thing I'm worried someone will do to me is literally break my nose in public so I get a no shop.

Speaker 38 That's that's how I want to get violated.

Speaker 35 The men on the internet hate my nose, but that's like I don't feel like that violated all the time.

Speaker 81 No, also, like, you know, I'm usually wearing an oversized Harley-Davidson t-shirt and friend of mine.

Speaker 1 It's so intense. It's a, it reads as, like, so intensely anti-men is the way, like, the, you know, like, we, I, I don't want to hear you.
I don't need to tell us anything.

Speaker 1 This is, it's a violent existence. It's like, I don't know what, I mean, what you've been going through, but it feels like you're.

Speaker 6 I think she's traumatized.

Speaker 30 Well, I think something's clearly happened, and especially if she's in acting, I'm sure those disgusting directions.

Speaker 102 She tourism

Speaker 72 someone horrible did something to her recently where it's like god i mean arguably when i started my career nobody wanted to hear women talk and now it's totally different i feel like it's a little better isn't it it's not totally maybe a little better they tolerate me talking now they tolerate some some talking a little more yeah but it's still not as

Speaker 76 great it's not as great nobody really wants to hear chicks talk that yeah

Speaker 51 that's why i sound like this to try to just to disguise my voice so no one knows who i am dude are you gonna do a hustler shoot with Tony, though, if he shows up to this?

Speaker 52 If Tony comes anywhere near a 500-foot radius, the FBI will be involved.

Speaker 62 I don't know what to tell you right now.

Speaker 87 The fact you said my name is going to be separate.

Speaker 96 If I open my phone and that man followed me, I'm blocking him.

Speaker 29 You know what to promise, Steph?

Speaker 59 You and I don't look like her. That's why.

Speaker 39 I mean, that's true.

Speaker 124 I was like,

Speaker 110 maybe she's just much cuter than us.

Speaker 26 Yeah, I'm not getting hit on a lot.

Speaker 72 I'm not going to lie to you.

Speaker 30 That's why when my boyfriend hit on me after the show, I was like, marry me?

Speaker 61 No one's ever hit on me before.

Speaker 30 Yeah.

Speaker 14 So it's like, I really lock it.

Speaker 1 She normally has dark hair, right?

Speaker 95 Yeah, she's so cute. I really like that.
She is cute.

Speaker 53 She is cute.

Speaker 17 Yeah, but something definitely just happened to her.

Speaker 98 Yeah.

Speaker 95 Oh, this story. So, this says for people listening, Kim Kardashian is setting a whole new standard in child care, splashing millions on nannies.

Speaker 71 She runs a military-style operation with a dedicated team of nannies, each assigned to one of her four kids and working around the clock.

Speaker 95 They basically take daytime, nighttime shifts, 12-hour shifts at 6 a.m.

Speaker 135 So

Speaker 149 they get one day off a week at our expected travel with their allocated child, including when the kids visit dad.

Speaker 95 Yeah, includes a chief of staff and head nanny overseeing a team that manages meals, laundry, security, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 6 This is so pretty intense.

Speaker 25 Crazy.

Speaker 56 Don't have kids if that's insane.

Speaker 110 So I'll tell you, so.

Speaker 59 You know, we lived adjacent to this family at some point, like very briefly.

Speaker 58 And I had heard this story of like, they've got nannies on nannies on nannies, like a room where the nannies sleep and they take 12-hour shifts sleeping.

Speaker 6 And like, it's crazy, but I guess this is what like

Speaker 66 celebrities

Speaker 1 first play date

Speaker 85 was with Saint

Speaker 1 West and a nanny. And a nanny.
So I had, I had Ellis, our son.

Speaker 84 And then there's this Filipino lady

Speaker 47 just hanging out at the playground where it was jamaican nanny they like or bohamian was this a bahamian one no this this one was because there was a team yeah a team but this one was like a filipino this is crazy i understand you're busy you're touring i'm not i'm i'm not i am shaming her but this because this is that's insane you're not raising your kids at this point yeah when you when you not when you run your children that's insane never

Speaker 58 and yeah so i remember our son was on the same playground as saint and it was a security guard it was the nanny and i was like this we got to get out of this community we're we're living in the same community, we got to get out of here,

Speaker 70 but uh, but yeah, like, why have the kids if you're not even gonna that many nannies on and off 12-hour shafts?

Speaker 58 Here's the thing: here's a deal, man. I get it, she's got to make the living, but like, why have four kids with a completely insane person?

Speaker 6 I think that's also make a living.

Speaker 33 She's fucking loaded.

Speaker 61 What more?

Speaker 45 What are you doing? How much more are we making here?

Speaker 96 You've got enough.

Speaker 43 I don't know. Stop making.
Stop. I agree.

Speaker 47 Raise your kids. Stop making.

Speaker 96 I know. Something like you're just getting started.

Speaker 132 It's like your first Netflix special.

Speaker 39 Bitch.

Speaker 96 come at me.

Speaker 17 You're not going to watch it anyways.

Speaker 51 But you can't get it.

Speaker 10 See, that's psychotic.

Speaker 59 You can't say that now. Well, I just have to be like, oh, she's a feminist icon because she has a table of people raising her kids.

Speaker 58 It's bananas.

Speaker 59 Anyway, that's usually marginalized psychos.

Speaker 6 These got put into the

Speaker 76 intelligent file. Sorry about that.

Speaker 106 It's fun.

Speaker 131 So many good songs.

Speaker 7 And I've become that mom where I'm like sitting around with friends and I start singing like... Tyrannos, that's the chorus.
Tyrannosaurus.

Speaker 152 I was like, what am I singing? Oh my gosh, I'm singing Storybox.

Speaker 152 I'm singing Storybox. I am not singing Beyoncé in that.

Speaker 76 Okay.

Speaker 47 Who's that?

Speaker 42 Megan Markle.

Speaker 76 She's pretending to be a good mom here.

Speaker 94 Megan Markle.

Speaker 81 Oh, that's the married to the Prince.

Speaker 98 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 26 Prince Iris.

Speaker 39 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 115 I like when she does the one with her friend who's like, oh my god, I can't stop watching clips from that one.

Speaker 59 There's a woman that she's interviewing with who's just like, yeah,

Speaker 59 yeah, that's amazing yeah

Speaker 19 and it's just it's the most puke-worthy interview and megan markle will say things like i try to tell my children it's that you can't do something yet the power of yet like they're just both jacking each other

Speaker 54 so hard it's so but it's so i should have had my dad go raise these kids smack them around a little bit smart up idiot jesus christ

Speaker 94 That's so bullshit. It's insane.

Speaker 47 But that's why we're all funny because our parents didn't do this to us.

Speaker 113 What the the hell is this?

Speaker 106 It's too much.

Speaker 17 1,200 nannies talking to me like that.

Speaker 101 I that baby voice.

Speaker 47 My parents never did a baby voice, even if I was a baby.

Speaker 26 I said, No, neither do we, little baby voice.

Speaker 58 Because why do you have to treat them like idiots?

Speaker 59 They're not idiots, they're just tiny people.

Speaker 95 They're learning people.

Speaker 124 You don't have to treat them like dopes.

Speaker 95 But yeah, anyway.

Speaker 70 What are you looking for?

Speaker 84 I was looking for that clip.

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 142 I promise to hand and to hold

Speaker 142 through thick and through thin

Speaker 79 forever I do.

Speaker 59 There's your proposal and stuff.

Speaker 93 And you're the lucky one gets to be with me. How do you like that?

Speaker 1 How do you like that?

Speaker 30 How do you like that?

Speaker 10 I wish I had an ounce of that man's confidence.

Speaker 42 No.

Speaker 86 One little whisper of the amount of chin hair he's got of confidence.

Speaker 58 I feel like there's dried barbecue sauce in the field.

Speaker 63 Yeah, what is that?

Speaker 17 I thought there was like a skin flake situation going there.

Speaker 1 It actually probably is dried sauce.

Speaker 98 It's definitely dried sauce.

Speaker 62 Yeah, it's from the pig guy's shit.

Speaker 112 You're hardened on there.

Speaker 71 You're lucky to be with me that's what he said oh this is the lady yeah i've watched this a million by the way i just have to say i have to thank enjoy this

Speaker 76 i forgot to have fun

Speaker 76 you're right you're right

Speaker 64 how many views does this have lives are divinely ordered getting to know you for who you truly are unreal

Speaker 146 so why did you say yes to doing this show because it's you

Speaker 146 is like i want people to see that you know what i mean i'm gonna get emotional if i talk about it it's a gift to celebrate my friend.

Speaker 101 How many followers does that bitch have?

Speaker 40 I'm actually pissed.

Speaker 146 Listen to this and that's what I hear. And listen to that.

Speaker 50 I don't know who this is.

Speaker 76 But you're the same. You're the same.

Speaker 123 Can you?

Speaker 104 Who talks like this?

Speaker 112 They just reaffirm everything.

Speaker 63 No woman, I've never met someone who actually speaks like that in my life.

Speaker 76 Oh, I was having the worst.

Speaker 70 When she get to the mom world,

Speaker 67 so sad.

Speaker 55 Oh, no. What's her name?

Speaker 29 I don't even know her name.

Speaker 62 Jamie. Jamie something.

Speaker 21 Oh, no. There you go.

Speaker 34 612,000 followers.

Speaker 114 Jamie Lee. Who are these fucking followers?

Speaker 47 This is crazy.

Speaker 6 You know what it is?

Speaker 30 This is me hate watching.

Speaker 52 This can't be people.

Speaker 59 I actually like Maria Schriver.

Speaker 71 She was nice to me one time when I bombed at some journalism conference. She was very nice to me.
She was like politely smiling. It was horrible.

Speaker 1 I don't like her brother or her fucking nephew, Cunts.

Speaker 21 Really? Yeah.

Speaker 137 Dang. The Jamie Curt.

Speaker 106 I choose me with Jenny Guard.

Speaker 68 Yeah. He's a piece of shit.

Speaker 38 I should go on her. I should ask to do a podcast, actually.

Speaker 40 I'm asking PR people to get me on that promote special.

Speaker 6 I was going to say, what is this?

Speaker 20 This is when Oprah Winfrey started, the self-help basically brought it all to light.

Speaker 59 And a lot of women got turned on to Oprah Winfrey and also the stuff that was pretty useful and pretty good. And now it's like carried on a decade too long.

Speaker 74 And she's that's the voice now? Yeah.

Speaker 76 Yeah, yeah. What the fuck?

Speaker 124 Just do you.

Speaker 23 Don't forget that Filth Queen comes out.

Speaker 5 She's the 24th on next.

Speaker 117 I won't be watching it,

Speaker 117 yeah, you should. Yeah, I won't be watching it.

Speaker 123 No way.

Speaker 55 My eyeballs can't see down. You know why?

Speaker 117 What I put inside of my heart and my spirit is pure.

Speaker 50 There's always that.

Speaker 1 The pitch always goes. Yeah.

Speaker 13 It has to go up and down.

Speaker 86 It is fun to do.

Speaker 30 Now that you do the voice, I'm like, oh, I could.

Speaker 90 Oh, you know what they love to say, these types of people?

Speaker 123 I love that for you.

Speaker 103 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 123 Jeff, I love that for you.

Speaker 39 You're asking a hustler.

Speaker 124 I love that for you.

Speaker 64 Yeah.

Speaker 90 I want to spread it wide open.

Speaker 117 Yeah.

Speaker 20 But I love that for you.

Speaker 41 For you.

Speaker 58 Which the insinuation is like, not for me.

Speaker 70 Yeah.

Speaker 15 I'm better than you.

Speaker 72 But for you.

Speaker 124 That's a good choice.

Speaker 1 I love food on the ground, and I love that for you.

Speaker 76 You hungry? Yeah.

Speaker 90 Get on your hands and knees, little pig.

Speaker 76 Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's some scraps that I didn't have, and I love that for you.

Speaker 89 You want to scrape out the bottom of my temperwear?

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's some wagyu in the fridge, but that's for me.

Speaker 64 But for you, I love something else.

Speaker 1 I love that garbage.

Speaker 129 I shit in the toilet and it clogged.

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 76 And I love that for you.

Speaker 89 I love that for you.

Speaker 99 We clog it.

Speaker 70 These are women that don't have negative.

Speaker 151 Is it acceptable to marry my cousin? Duh. You want to marry her? Go ahead.
It is halal. Now, for some reason, this is something people make fun of Muslims.
Oh, go marry your cousin.

Speaker 151 Go marry your cousin. Yo, bro, we marry cousins all the time.
People have been marrying cousins for millions of years, bro.

Speaker 151 And yes, the chances of a birth defect might be increased, but it's not to the the level where Allah knows us. Allah knows best.
It's not to the level where it's going to be dangerous.

Speaker 21 My parents were cousins.

Speaker 151 Look how I turned out.

Speaker 151 I have brothers and sisters who are married cousins. I have lots of people in my family who are cousins who are married.
Absolutely not a single issue in any of my siblings' family ever.

Speaker 151 So you want to marry a cousin? Go ahead. You don't want to? Go find a halal badi.

Speaker 112 How do you feel about marrying a cousin?

Speaker 98 It's disgusting. Yeah.

Speaker 31 There's so many other people out there.

Speaker 77 There's so many.

Speaker 83 Billion.

Speaker 105 Literally billion.

Speaker 30 Many other human beings out there.

Speaker 35 Why on earth would you?

Speaker 59 But have you had a hot cousin?

Speaker 40 Yeah, I had a sex treatment one of my cousins years ago.

Speaker 17 And I'll tell you what, Christmas is still funny because my other cousins know about it.

Speaker 62 No, he was a Mormon, so it would have been not that gross.

Speaker 37 No, I'm kidding.

Speaker 37 No, it's still gross.

Speaker 32 It would be halal, though.

Speaker 30 It'd be halal. It'd be halal.
I didn't know it was, it was clean.

Speaker 116 No, it's disgusting.

Speaker 17 I don't understand it.

Speaker 52 There's too many people. Why do you want anyone that looks like you?

Speaker 1 I know. Repulse.
Also, like, don't you want to just get out there and meet somebody?

Speaker 101 Change up the vibe here.

Speaker 30 That's why get a new family.

Speaker 88 Also, yeah, do you love your family that much?

Speaker 14 Like, keep it in, just keep it all together.

Speaker 50 This tight?

Speaker 101 Yeah.

Speaker 59 But this is England.

Speaker 32 That's England. England.

Speaker 67 They're all cousin fuckers. That's why they're all like the same.

Speaker 84 Well, the Royals all fucking married each other.

Speaker 97 They don't know that island is inbred.

Speaker 119 You know, they fuck their cousins.

Speaker 76 That's why they look like

Speaker 76 that.

Speaker 113 That's why the teeth are like that.

Speaker 76 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You look at like Scottish.

Speaker 1 It's always, you're like, the fuck's going on here.

Speaker 119 Because they're on an island together and they all fucked for centuries right now.

Speaker 83 Now if you have enough people, yeah, yeah, you want to change it up.

Speaker 15 That's why I want a whitey.

Speaker 16 I want a big old whitey.

Speaker 98 Mix it up down there.

Speaker 15 Mix up the change.

Speaker 98 Fuck yeah.

Speaker 98 Yeah.

Speaker 112 Get out of Bulgaria.

Speaker 113 Get out of Bulgaria.

Speaker 30 Slop it around. I find that it's also like

Speaker 17 you have no personality that you have to just rely on like talking to your family still.

Speaker 28 It's ridiculous.

Speaker 121 It's absurd.

Speaker 93 Get out there.

Speaker 153 Change your eye color. You're ready to go in and get your eye color changed.

Speaker 30 No, this, I can't do this.

Speaker 7 I've been wanting to do this for a long time.

Speaker 23 Everyone's been wanting you to do it.

Speaker 136 Dude, I can't do this.

Speaker 22 Your eyes are gross lately. No, this

Speaker 153 green. What are your friends and family thinking?

Speaker 118 Friends are really excited.

Speaker 136 Let's do this, shall we?

Speaker 75 No, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 53 I can't do eye stuff.

Speaker 71 I know, it's so hard.

Speaker 70 No.

Speaker 6 Dude, fucking with your eyes just for the

Speaker 15 color of the guy from the desk.

Speaker 135 Oh, God.

Speaker 76 I can't hear it.

Speaker 21 I actually can't hear it.

Speaker 76 Oh, my God.

Speaker 92 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 154 And they don't look like real green.

Speaker 154 They look like alien green. No, I can't.
And she's got like vampire green. I'm very happy with those.
I said they're perfect. No, they're not.

Speaker 6 They look crazy.

Speaker 153 So what do you think your friends are going to say? They're going to want to get it.

Speaker 118 They look like an alien slea stack. I can't.
I really.

Speaker 149 This shit does not look good.

Speaker 91 They didn't even put her out.

Speaker 6 You can't fucking do anesthesia.

Speaker 76 Yeah, those are Hulk green.

Speaker 130 Yeah, they're not green.

Speaker 112 You know what I mean? Like incredible Hulk.

Speaker 50 Yeah.

Speaker 26 The ideal green.

Speaker 41 They don't look like, oh, your eyes are green.

Speaker 1 They look like fucking screaming green.

Speaker 52 As if anyone stopped her on the street or comments on an interview, God, your eyes are poo-poo cocka.

Speaker 30 I can't look at you, disgusting eye pig.

Speaker 17 That's insane to get that done.

Speaker 77 So crazy. That's so gross.

Speaker 118 She literally looks like a lizard person.

Speaker 112 I would do this, though.

Speaker 113 Like the guy who lives out here.

Speaker 87 Have you seen the lizard guy out here?

Speaker 76 Yeah.

Speaker 47 That guy's dick better be green.

Speaker 74 It pisses me off.

Speaker 30 If that man's cock is white, I will.

Speaker 80 That's psychotic.

Speaker 40 Which guy? Lizard Man out here.

Speaker 76 Oh, I I always see him out here. Yeah.

Speaker 43 You can't go full lizard and have a white dick.

Speaker 78 No.

Speaker 94 That's nuts. I'm sure he doesn't.

Speaker 88 You have to have tane balls.

Speaker 30 Ainuise has to be.

Speaker 87 Dude, it doesn't look good. It's not.

Speaker 100 What a strange thing. You know why?

Speaker 59 Because they need to have like, there needs to be some contouring or some blending of dark and light.

Speaker 67 Like, it's all just light. It's all good.

Speaker 61 If I get a hair in my eye, I leave it.

Speaker 63 I can't even touch my eyeball.

Speaker 37 It's gone.

Speaker 17 We're done now. There's hairs in my head.

Speaker 1 Would you do eye surgery?

Speaker 68 Never.

Speaker 101 If I have the laser, I'm going to have fucking bottle caps.

Speaker 35 I'm going to look like you two.

Speaker 74 I'm going to tell you right now.

Speaker 25 I ain't fucking ever.

Speaker 44 I can't put a contact in.

Speaker 17 No. I was always scared.

Speaker 44 I'm like, if I go to an acting room, I was like, you have to.

Speaker 63 I'm like, well, then I'm not doing it.

Speaker 105 Yeah. I can't touch my.

Speaker 37 This guy.

Speaker 35 This guy's dick better be green.

Speaker 107 It is. You cut your tongue.

Speaker 91 You put his surgery.

Speaker 42 He's got dick pics out there.

Speaker 90 He's got to have dick pics.

Speaker 56 There has to be.

Speaker 1 He's definitely modified his dick.

Speaker 80 You can't go this far. Right.

Speaker 1 And be like, oh, here's my normal dick. No.
No.

Speaker 89 Like, he's gone far.

Speaker 58 does it say he's done more stuff to his dick than if you search the dick

Speaker 24 dick's awesome dick no there's more he didn't tell how about just nude

Speaker 1 why did gay porn come up for that well i don't know okay well we gotta call him up we gotta find you i'm actually surprised you don't have his number sir bring your dick in here call him up um all right We have to wrap this up, but Steph.

Speaker 1 Thanks for having me. No, we're so thanks for quizzing me.

Speaker 1 First of all,

Speaker 1 you're going to pass your citizenship test.

Speaker 22 I'm very, very proud of you. And also, you can finally just renounce your Canadian citizenship.
It's a big deal. You have to renounce?

Speaker 75 No.

Speaker 100 No, I'm getting dual citizen. Of course.

Speaker 1 You have to burn your passport.

Speaker 1 No, but so proud of you and happy for you for Filth Queen.

Speaker 76 Amazing.

Speaker 67 Great title, by the way.

Speaker 15 That's really funny.

Speaker 1 June 24th on Netflix. If you've never seen Steph, she's absolutely hilarious.
Please watch the special. Don't forget to pick up her hustler spread,

Speaker 13 which is coming up as well.

Speaker 1 And then her, and I don't know if her and Tony John are going to work together in some way, but it's going to be

Speaker 1 him.

Speaker 38 I'm going to see him in summer. We're going up.
We go up there for a while. And you know what?

Speaker 1 If you go see Steph on tour, which you absolutely should, bring her some homemade poutine and just show her a good time.

Speaker 1 We love you. Thank you for coming.

Speaker 55 Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Speaker 72 Oh, my gosh.

Speaker 25 Thank you.

Speaker 1 We'll see you guys next week.

Speaker 1 It's beautiful.

Speaker 1 Gotta practice a game, huh?

Speaker 130 But here comes the camera cross. Come on.

Speaker 126 I don't care where you're from. Bro, bitch, I paloosis.
Judge Boy.

Speaker 130 Come on.

Speaker 126 Bring it to me.

Speaker 126 It's beautiful.

Speaker 126 One time. She got a little brick feeling.
one time, she got a little brick build one time, she got a little brick build one time,

Speaker 126 she got a little brick build one time, she got a little brick build one time, she got a little brick build one time, I'ma get her draw up.

Speaker 126 Yeah, they got some boy over there, mama.

Speaker 126 Yeah, doesn't matter if she's young or old.

Speaker 126 Yeah, I wanna kick your feet.

Speaker 126 Yeah, I wanna get your feet.

Speaker 126 Yeah, I wanna kick your feet. I want your feet.
Yeah, I wanna kick your feet. Doesn't matter if you're young.
Oh,

Speaker 126 one time.

Speaker 126 Lena, how you doing, my baby?

Speaker 126 I've been alright, Kega.

Speaker 126 Y'all got to play the music.

Speaker 126 When I say I'ma make you feel like a woman,

Speaker 126 I'ma make you feel like a woman. Straight up in your eyes.
My baby girl, when you gonna let me touch your ass,

Speaker 126 I promise you,

Speaker 126 it's church.

Speaker 126 Oh, yeah, my baby. It's church.

Speaker 126 My baby girl, I'ma make you feel good, baby.

Speaker 126 I promise you, in your eyes. The way you've been in over late then, just give me one chance, please, my baby.

Speaker 126 Yeah, give me one chance, my baby girl. I wanna eat your ass.

Speaker 126 One time,

Speaker 126 I hear ya.

Speaker 126 One time, she she got a little brick building, one time, she got a little brick building, one time, she got a little brick building, one time,

Speaker 126 she got a little brick building, one time, she got a little brick building, one time, she got a little brick building, one time, I'ma tell her draws up.

Speaker 126 Well, come on, Willie,

Speaker 126 show me

Speaker 126 Yeah.

Speaker 126 Bill Moore is church.

Speaker 126 One time. She got a little brick building.
One time. She got a little brick building.
One time. She got a little brick building.
One time.

Speaker 126 She got a little brick bin one time. She got a little brick bill one time.
She got a little brick bill one time.

Speaker 135 I'ma tear her drawers up.

Speaker 135 Gabriel.

Speaker 135 I'm looking at you girl.

Speaker 135 Yeah, you you beautiful baby.

Speaker 135 And they got some boot over there, you know.

Speaker 135 I'm telling you, man,

Speaker 135 that boy's gonna touch your chest.

Speaker 135 Listen to this.

Speaker 135 I'm gonna eat them little Muslim women draws.

Speaker 135 Yeah, I'm gonna smoke these drawers.

Speaker 135 When I say I'ma smell your drawers,

Speaker 135 when I'm laying down,

Speaker 135 I'ma smell your drawers.

Speaker 135 Nina, I bet you any kind of money, you can't put your booty in my face.

Speaker 135 And it doesn't matter if you got a small booty or a big booty. Guess what? You want to swing out? You know how?

Speaker 135 I let this ball go.

Speaker 135 Speed up. Be a woman.

Speaker 135 When I get through with you, you're not gone back to your house. You're gonna stay over here with me straight up.

Speaker 141 I call it like I see it. Yeah, because you ain't never had that feeling before.

Speaker 141 Be a woman.