Tom Has Some BAD THOUGHTS | Your Mom's House Ep. 808

Transcript

Speaker 1 What's everybody?

Speaker 3 My come together tour is coming to the vibrant arena in Moline, Illinois on May 8th.

Speaker 8 Bristol, Virginia at the Hard Rock on May 10th, and then Springfield, Massachusetts at the Mass Mutual Center on May 22nd.

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Speaker 15 Coppy Carly Cut

Speaker 15 Always fucking cut

Speaker 15 Country Carlica

Speaker 15 Country Carly Cat

Speaker 15 Country Carlica

Speaker 15 Country Carly Cut

Speaker 15 Copy Copy Cut

Speaker 15 Company Carly Cut

Speaker 15 me

Speaker 15 current,

Speaker 15 come with

Speaker 15 her.

Speaker 15 It's sexy.

Speaker 18 Best song ever made.

Speaker 19 Really cool one.

Speaker 18 I wish we could have played that at our wedding, but it wasn't made yet.

Speaker 2 It wasn't made yet.

Speaker 10 Jeans and Michael.

Speaker 20 We're going to hit.

Speaker 21 Jeans and Michael.

Speaker 18 Even the title on that was a banger.

Speaker 22 It's really exciting, man.

Speaker 18 Jeans in Michael.

Speaker 25 I remember the clip, too.

Speaker 26 I remember the clip that she was bound and her head was through one of those things, and

Speaker 28 her arms and legs were bound all over.

Speaker 18 That old-timey torture in the middle of the town square.

Speaker 18 What is it called? You guys, you know, the stocks. Yeah.

Speaker 6 And then a cool guy came up behind her and put things in her.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 18 They love that. Why are you guys laughing so hard?

Speaker 30 He was fucking awesome.

Speaker 9 He took her to town and then she did the post-scene interview and she was like, I was awesome.

Speaker 21 Oh, socks.

Speaker 34 Soxier.

Speaker 18 It can't be that comfortable to be in the stocks. This seems like sexy.
It didn't look comfortable. Now, this seems like a very common fantasy, though.
Yeah. This one makes, it's like intuitive.

Speaker 18 Not the standing one, obviously, but you know.

Speaker 6 No, yeah, somebody just

Speaker 6 that can't fight back, you mean?

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 18 Yeah. I feel like they probably did have just open on people in the stocks, right?

Speaker 18 I'm sure. I never read about it.

Speaker 6 I think back in that day, there was a lot of things that went down that

Speaker 36 wasn't repercussions for can I tell you something?

Speaker 18 So I'm into watching Fantasy Island, that old show from the 80s with Mr. Rourke and Tatoo, the little midget.

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 18 I'm sorry, little person.

Speaker 18 And it is so funny because people's fantasies are so lame. Like this one couple shows up to Fantasy Island and they want to

Speaker 18 love it. I watch it while I'm on the treadmill.

Speaker 37 Okay.

Speaker 18 My mom and I used to watch this bullshit every Saturday night in the 80s. Did you watch this with your mom? You never watched this shit when you're a kid?

Speaker 38 No, no, no, not this.

Speaker 18 See, this is when three years between us makes a difference. But anyway, mom and I, Saturday night, Fantasy Island.

Speaker 18 The point of the story is there's a couple that comes to the island and they're like, Mr.

Speaker 18 Rourke, our fantasy is to live in a more moral time where they don't want to live in the depravity that was 1980

Speaker 18 too. And Mr.
Rourke gives them

Speaker 18 a warning, like, you may not enjoy it so much as you think. It might be a little, you know, different than you expect.
So they're back to puritanical times. They create a village.

Speaker 18 It's so expensive to go to Fantasy Island. First of all, I don't know how these people are affording it because they, it's a whole thing.

Speaker 18 this little fucker was a real rascal you know that right hold on yeah can i tell you the point yeah so they go back to puritanical times and they're putting people in the stocks and punishing them and then they decide they don't want they don't want that puritans anymore that that era because life sucks molto gay yeah yes it fucking sucks

Speaker 18 and like you just people and just take away

Speaker 18 you've said it a few times hold on there's a there's a priest in the town and he this girl got married when she was 13 and then her husband died at 15, and she's 15, and he wants to bang her, and like, it's so awful, okay, yeah, yeah, but these guys were these two were both knuckleheads, you know that, right?

Speaker 18 I feel like Ricardo Montalban

Speaker 18 could not not get laid because he's so smooth and so handsome, but technically, the little guy, the little guy was a fiery little fucker.

Speaker 18 No, you don't know that, yeah, the Survey Villiches, yeah, yeah, yeah, drinking guns, yeah, he was a little shit, yeah, you know, the LPs kind of do that, the ones in showbiz, Yeah.

Speaker 18 Yeah, they party. They can party.

Speaker 48 We just had one here.

Speaker 18 We did. Brad, but Brad's not a big party.
You know why they came to the party?

Speaker 49 He was a big party guy.

Speaker 18 But they can't, because their bodies can't really

Speaker 50 drink alcohol.

Speaker 18 He used to party pretty hard. I know.
So did Chewy Bravo.

Speaker 26 This guy.

Speaker 6 I think he had a mean streak, this guy.

Speaker 18 Seriously? Can you find any footage of him yelling at people?

Speaker 18 Any Herve Villichez stories?

Speaker 24 Hervey Village has?

Speaker 18 It's funny that they both chose Latin people to star in Fantasy Island.

Speaker 30 Look at him.

Speaker 51 You can tell he's fucking whacked out of his mind in that picture.

Speaker 18 Yeah. You can't understand a lot of what Tech She says.
No. Yeah.
Oh.

Speaker 18 Like his accent, boss. Look, he's tall a little.

Speaker 18 He can't understand what he says. I have to subtitle it because I can't understand what he's saying most of the time.

Speaker 6 The sad, tragic ending of Herve right there.

Speaker 2 He couldn't overcome his addiction to women.

Speaker 20 Hilarious.

Speaker 12 Yeah, he was a little fucker.

Speaker 37 Wow.

Speaker 18 A little fucker.

Speaker 41 Three foot ten, too.

Speaker 2 Imagine that little shit sticking fingers up your ass

Speaker 52 He's behind you. He's like

Speaker 18 Would you guys stop laughing? You're encouraging him. Don't encourage him.

Speaker 21 That's true

Speaker 18 No, he had to

Speaker 18 can we listen to him speak he's not

Speaker 18 Yeah, it wasn't good and between him and Montelbon. I don't know how American

Speaker 55 films like The One and Only and S Tattoo in Fantasy Island.

Speaker 55 When I came to meet him, I became acquainted with his hangouts like this cafe in Venice, California, his many talents and hobbies, and his special

Speaker 57 minute since I'm six years old.

Speaker 11 He's trying to fuck this lady.

Speaker 13 What is he saying?

Speaker 55 And how'd you turn to acting? How'd that happen?

Speaker 57 I just answered an ad in a village voice. That's a newspaper in New York.
And they wanted somebody small to be in the play.

Speaker 18 So I went. He's sweet.

Speaker 55 Are Are the rest of your family all normal size?

Speaker 57 When you go normal size, to me, I don't know. Yeah, they're all regular size.

Speaker 57 And I was the only kid to be small in the family. And my father used to be doctor.

Speaker 21 Dogtail?

Speaker 44 What? Dogtail.

Speaker 57 No, it didn't make any difference to him or to my mother.

Speaker 37 They just treated me like everybody.

Speaker 55 Okay, what don't the rest of us understand about life for a man your size? What's different for you?

Speaker 57 I just don't like pity.

Speaker 57 But it's nothing different. What's different is the attitude of people toward me.
Neither one reminds me that I'm smart.

Speaker 37 By the way they act with me.

Speaker 54 Yeah. You know, in the streets or something.

Speaker 12 And I am at the face level with your pussy.

Speaker 17 I have people who

Speaker 57 are scared. I don't know them and they say, they ask me personal questions like my sex life, how you do it, how you do this.
Well, that's not their business because

Speaker 57 even if you were

Speaker 57 a regular size, you will not ask a question like that.

Speaker 18 I know that you've recently gotten a divorce.

Speaker 43 Divorce? Yeah.

Speaker 54 I'm back on the market.

Speaker 29 I'm ready to fuck again.

Speaker 30 Yeah.

Speaker 18 But don't you like how people were just so direct in 1978?

Speaker 42 She's like, I don't like people asking me about my sex life.

Speaker 34 My sex life.

Speaker 16 Fuck you. After I come, I say voila.

Speaker 17 And I leave.

Speaker 18 Yeah. He was, but I mean, look, he made the 80s.
Hervey Villa shows was huge.

Speaker 59 By the way, Ricardo.

Speaker 6 I just want to tell people, real soon here, the 2Bears 5K is coming up. It's going to be May 4th in Tampa, Florida, 2Bears5K.com has all the information.

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Speaker 12 All the swag, baby.

Speaker 2 It's going to be a fun-filled day, actually, if you're there. We'll be at Raymond James Stadium where the Bucs play.

Speaker 51 There's going to be music, food, drinks.

Speaker 2 There's recovery centers.

Speaker 6 It's a fun day. So come on out May 4th in Tampa, Florida.

Speaker 21 You guys are going to run 5,000 miles.

Speaker 6 5,000 miles. Isn't that crazy?

Speaker 62 That's fucking terrible.

Speaker 63 Yeah, it only takes a fucking few days.

Speaker 47 It's fine.

Speaker 18 Look at my cool blood drawing.

Speaker 13 Oh, you're going to gonna take it off now?

Speaker 18 It's only been like an hour.

Speaker 41 Yeah, well, it's um spurred out, is it?

Speaker 19 No, you'll be good.

Speaker 14 Let's see.

Speaker 64 Oh, kidoki.

Speaker 12 Good job.

Speaker 55 You, good job.

Speaker 18 Good job, your mother.

Speaker 37 Okay. Fuck I'm looking at.
All right.

Speaker 30 Okay.

Speaker 16 Let's start the show.

Speaker 18 Let's start the show. Uh-oh.
I know he's going to be a little bit more.

Speaker 58 You guys, man. Keep off your asses and back to work.
Come on, man. We're taking a break.
Fuck your break. There's 15 cars here that need to be serviced.
Now get back to it. Listen here, fucker.

Speaker 65 The only thing you need servicing around here is our cocks. Yeah.

Speaker 58 Just get on your knees and beg like a bitch.

Speaker 56 What?

Speaker 67 No, my motherfucker's dead. Welcome.

Speaker 14 Welcome to your mom's house. This is Tom.
Tom Segura. Tom Sigzugura.

Speaker 18 And Christina Pajinski.

Speaker 14 Christina Pajinski.

Speaker 14 Welcome to your mom's house.

Speaker 18 Meow, meow, now.

Speaker 18 Meow, meow, meow, meow,

Speaker 18 What?

Speaker 21 That was a very that was so good.

Speaker 39 What? What happens next?

Speaker 31 I want to see the rest of the scene.

Speaker 39 Do we not have it?

Speaker 1 Oh my god, please. I can probably pull it up.

Speaker 52 Bro, you gotta find this.

Speaker 69 Yeah.

Speaker 40 This is fantastic.

Speaker 12 This guy, the way he deliberately, first of all, the balls of this guy to talk to his boss like that is crazy.

Speaker 9 But this guy nails this what.

Speaker 34 It's so good.

Speaker 18 Almost as though he doesn't know they're gay.

Speaker 59 He's like, what?

Speaker 18 What?

Speaker 58 Down your knees and beg like a bitch. What?

Speaker 72 Are you out of your fucking mind? What?

Speaker 18 Tommy, you do it. Wait, what does he say? What's the lead in line? Get on your knees and fucking beg.

Speaker 34 Beg like a bitch.

Speaker 18 Okay, right. You get on your knees and fucking beg like a bitch.

Speaker 56 What?

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Speaker 18 Oh my God, that was so good.

Speaker 18 You're such a good actor, dude.

Speaker 53 Thank you. Yeah.

Speaker 18 Thanks very much. What? Yeah, I have a feeling he gets on his knees and beds.

Speaker 11 The fact that he's going to go from this level of just an incredulous look to on his knees with dicks in his mouth, I don't believe it.

Speaker 18 You don't buy it. How's that going to happen? I know, because it's so, he took it so high emotionally, and there's, he needs to bring it down.

Speaker 2 Well, it's, it's great, but I want to know, like, how quickly does he go from that response to participating?

Speaker 18 I know, and how, how do we see him change his mind? Yeah. What's the evolution?

Speaker 6 That's like the scene work, I want to say.

Speaker 39 I agree. Yeah.

Speaker 34 I agree.

Speaker 30 I agree.

Speaker 18 It's really crazy. Speaking of scene work, you know, Tony Johns.
Oh, my God. It's

Speaker 18 Hop on Ling. He has two weeks.
to make it to Las Vegas.

Speaker 2 Can he stay out of trouble for two weeks?

Speaker 18 That's what we're debating. So here's all he has to do in the next next two weeks because he has to get his tests, right? So, which means he can't have sex with anybody.
Well, he can.

Speaker 12 He's just got to be safe.

Speaker 18 That's not going to happen.

Speaker 12 So, he's got to be safe.

Speaker 2 He's got to not get arrested again.

Speaker 2 He probably should try to find housing.

Speaker 7 Well, that's the thing.

Speaker 6 He's asking online for it.

Speaker 25 He's like,

Speaker 9 Just let me crash.

Speaker 18 Yeah, but the reason is he goes to court today. Isn't that right? Is Cougar there? Cougar knows his whole whereabouts and like, or what, or Josh?

Speaker 18 Who knows the court date and what the Cougar's the one.

Speaker 29 Cougar knows, yeah. What do you got?

Speaker 41 Yeah, what's going on with court right now?

Speaker 76 So he actually, he's in court as we speak.

Speaker 46 Right now? Yeah.

Speaker 13 Oh, my God. What if we call him and he answers?

Speaker 18 Well,

Speaker 52 he had the all-time best, the all-time best statement about, have you been paying your rent? He goes, I'm not a fucking walking ATM.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 68 That's his reply to, are you paying rent?

Speaker 6 Am I a walking ATM?

Speaker 25 No.

Speaker 80 Does that, yeah.

Speaker 78 So the fact that, by the way, we love Tony Johns.

Speaker 6 The fact that he thinks this could go any way other than for the home owned, like the landlords.

Speaker 18 But here's the deal, man. You know, New York, it has those laws, like squatters' rights laws.
It's a lot harder to evict people like in California.

Speaker 2 But they've gone through the process, though.

Speaker 41 Like they, they went through the long process because he's

Speaker 40 shown the documentation.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 18 I'm thinking New York might give him like a 30-day graze period, which will get him to Vegas at least.

Speaker 18 So what else, Cougar?

Speaker 32 He's got to pack his bags when he goes to Vegas.

Speaker 20 He should plan on.

Speaker 61 And then he's like, oh, but I love Auburn.

Speaker 13 Like, what the fuck?

Speaker 18 Well, you know why we figured out he loves Auburn? It's because he's kind of known as like the village knucklehead. Do you know what I mean? Like, Cougar was telling me, tell him about the cops.

Speaker 76 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 59 So, according to him,

Speaker 79 usually whenever he gets arrested,

Speaker 79 the cops are always excited to see them because apparently most of the cops in the Auburn PD are YMH fans.

Speaker 25 Oh, cool.

Speaker 77 Yeah. Shout out to Auburn PD.

Speaker 18 But I also think that, listen, I think that Tony Johns is a bit of a local menace, right? He's not necessarily a bit. He's not a malicious guy, but he's a menace.

Speaker 18 And I bet you the whole village knows that, oh, here he comes. He's going to jerk off in the bathroom again.
Here comes Tony. So they kind of, you know.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I want him to get, I want him to just stay on the path.

Speaker 77 Let's just get him to Vegas, start his scene work, get him working.

Speaker 18 Don't get arrested. Yeah.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 45 Now, the real question is, are we going to be able to add

Speaker 4 the

Speaker 49 RPC to this scene?

Speaker 50 I really want to see that.

Speaker 18 This is the question everybody's been wondering.

Speaker 10 Can we give him a call?

Speaker 13 Can we call RPC and see if

Speaker 6 he's open to his...

Speaker 41 I know he's an actor.

Speaker 47 He's made it clear that he does work in this business.

Speaker 18 Also, keep in mind, we've tried calling him every week for the last three yeah but we only tried three of his six numbers we should try them all

Speaker 19 you don't want to just call one person like one or three phone numbers for somebody how do these cool guys have multiple how do they memorize

Speaker 52 they barely can spell their names i don't know like fucking just

Speaker 20 how can they afford like four lines i have no idea i have one phone number i have no idea i don't even know the number i don't know the numbers I don't know our phone numbers.

Speaker 18 I don't know our phone numbers either.

Speaker 18 No, I know mine. I don't know yours.

Speaker 20 Yeah, I don't know. Yeah.

Speaker 80 No idea. No.

Speaker 72 Please leave your message.

Speaker 1 Well, yeah, what are you doing, man?

Speaker 10 Call the other numbers. Jesus.

Speaker 18 What are you, dumb, Josh?

Speaker 40 God, obviously.

Speaker 30 Call stupid. Call all the numbers.

Speaker 63 We literally have them in our phone as RPC1, RPC2, RPC3.

Speaker 29 I'm busy right now. I'm at Cody Island.

Speaker 18 Yeah, you gotta do my shows at Cody Island.

Speaker 29 Very busy right now.

Speaker 51 Making a hat and doing some scenes.

Speaker 21 Robert

Speaker 8 speaking.

Speaker 5 Hey, Robert, it's Tom, Segura, and Christina P.

Speaker 6 Hi, Robert.

Speaker 24 Oh, how are you doing?

Speaker 1 Good. How are you, man?

Speaker 82 Just resting. That's all.

Speaker 59 Oh, resting. Yeah.

Speaker 77 Got to get your rest.

Speaker 1 How have you been, man?

Speaker 82 I was trying to do some comedy, but I got to work it out later on. It's something about, I can't explain.

Speaker 82 A wife of the. Well, how about explaining to it?

Speaker 82 A wife that's going to marry the

Speaker 82 president when he's dead.

Speaker 24 Trust me.

Speaker 20 Yeah, I know what you mean.

Speaker 20 Okay.

Speaker 82 I call her Goena.

Speaker 33 Right.

Speaker 43 That's fun.

Speaker 82 We'll get into that.

Speaker 6 Yeah, so you're working on that bit.

Speaker 52 That's fun.

Speaker 39 Hey, I got a question for you.

Speaker 70 What? So we are producing

Speaker 6 a doc and then working with some people for an adult scene that's shooting in Vegas.

Speaker 31 It's a big, it's big names, you you know, Alexis Fox.

Speaker 52 It's like the breakout role for Tony Johns.

Speaker 5 Would you be interested in being in a scene like that?

Speaker 82 What kind of scene?

Speaker 6 It's an adult scene, like a porno.

Speaker 82 I would do it.

Speaker 84 Yes.

Speaker 41 So here's what I'm thinking.

Speaker 20 I'm thinking.

Speaker 69 Oh, yes.

Speaker 11 Right now, we're going the law enforcement angle.

Speaker 32 So

Speaker 70 Alexis. Creatively.
Yeah, creatively.

Speaker 6 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 12 So she's going to play Officer Alexis.

Speaker 59 And

Speaker 52 then Tony Johns is

Speaker 6 the male who's been arrested.

Speaker 13 And we were thinking of you could be like basically Sergeant Cum Dump who comes in and tells Officer Alexis that this

Speaker 4 criminal needs to be strip searched and that you need DNA so that she's got to get it out of them.

Speaker 69 You know what I mean?

Speaker 82 Oh, I get the point. Yep.

Speaker 77 You feel you could do that?

Speaker 82 Oh, I could,

Speaker 82 if I could pull a schizophrenia on the air,

Speaker 82 we got getting deported by the prisons, I could do that.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 So, um, how about getting to Vegas?

Speaker 78 Uh, would you be uh cool flying to Vegas?

Speaker 82 How could I get to Vegas?

Speaker 41 Well, we would fly you there,

Speaker 82 okay? But here's here's a guy now. I have a cat who want me to do my cat.

Speaker 22 Oh, right. The cat.

Speaker 11 That's a good question.

Speaker 83 I don't know.

Speaker 41 Is there somebody that could watch the cat?

Speaker 82 The only thing I could do with the cat, if I had to, I could bring him to a shelter that could hold them for a few days.

Speaker 1 Okay. I mean, that's up to you.

Speaker 20 I don't want to, you know.

Speaker 13 Well, no.

Speaker 82 It's a shelter, but not they can't keep them, they could hold them for a few days.

Speaker 18 Okay. That's a good idea.

Speaker 8 When are we planning on shooting the scene, guys?

Speaker 18 April 25th to 27th.

Speaker 8 Okay, so we would need you in Vegas April 25 to 27.

Speaker 78 We would fly you out and put you up.

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 24 Because

Speaker 82 I will have to go to the shelter and see if they can get them

Speaker 82 just to board him. I don't want them keeping.

Speaker 53 I mean, I'll.

Speaker 8 Right, right, just to board him. Yeah.

Speaker 82 So I just got this black Persian cat, and I cannot lose him. Okay.

Speaker 25 Oh, of course.

Speaker 41 No, we love cats.

Speaker 6 So we would fly you out there, and then we would put you up, and then we would, you know, you'd be participating in the scene and obviously you get paid for that and then you've uh you would fly back.

Speaker 24 Okay.

Speaker 6 Okay.

Speaker 45 Um how do you feel about uh air travel?

Speaker 6 Like are you pretty comfortable going to one of the airports to fly to Vegas?

Speaker 82 I guess a little airplane flight, but as long as I'm not near a window.

Speaker 10 Oh, yeah, we can get you an aisle seat.

Speaker 82 Sure.

Speaker 82 Okay.

Speaker 82 You know, a fact of the cat, the 25th,

Speaker 82 I can put a little food up because

Speaker 82 I can put food up there because I can leave my home second though. I don't have to have nobody take care of him.

Speaker 82 He could take care of himself.

Speaker 24 Right.

Speaker 37 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, if you leave some food out for a couple of days in the litter box and everything.

Speaker 13 Yeah, it's fine.

Speaker 82 He's a big cat, so I have to worry about that.

Speaker 13 Okay.

Speaker 2 Man, this is super exciting.

Speaker 82 So it's the 25th, the 27th? Okay, so

Speaker 82 okay. As long as I get back to get to get my little check because I got to pay the rent and everything.
Oh, and the insurance and all that.

Speaker 24 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 13 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 20 So, yeah, I mean, you know, this would be great.

Speaker 41 I mean, you could bring out some, if you have some costume stuff for Officer Cum Dump, if you want to bring that, that would be probably helpful.

Speaker 82 Well, probably unless he has hat and his stuff like that, his hat. And

Speaker 82 I used to have a uniform, but someone stole the uniform on me, believe it or not.

Speaker 12 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 3 We can get you a new uniform.

Speaker 82 Oh, yeah, I had Dre Queen that stole it on me, and I try to

Speaker 82 get a hold of her.

Speaker 82 oh, I know she stole the fucking uniform.

Speaker 34 Oh, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 18 Hey, can I ask you, have you had any black guys come around lately?

Speaker 82 I had one here, but I tried being nice to him, and I told him I tried to help him out. And he drank,

Speaker 82 well, expensive brandy,

Speaker 37 champagne, and everything else.

Speaker 82 And he was just a drunk as a drug addict. I said, get the fuck out.
I just saved him out.

Speaker 13 Oh, shit.

Speaker 18 Did you at least get to, you know, have sex with him before?

Speaker 82 Oh, he was a bottom and he was the worst thing in the fucking world.

Speaker 53 Oh,

Speaker 18 sorry. Damn.

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Speaker 82 I got a little so

Speaker 82 I got my black cat.

Speaker 82 Well, the black cat, I can put it. The black cat's like, well,

Speaker 82 he's bossy in the house, so I got my male cat. So I don't need him anymore.
He's done with it.

Speaker 13 Oh, okay.

Speaker 2 Well, this is super exciting, Robert.

Speaker 18 Oh, my gosh, Robert. This is amazing.

Speaker 10 It's going to be a huge scene.

Speaker 30 Oh, my God.

Speaker 82 I got to ask you. I put somebody in in charge of my insurance, right?

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 82 I have this girl's equipment that could handle insurance. I got to get a good, because I got insurance.

Speaker 82 I got to find some dudes to do an insurance policy because this girl can't do insurance for some reason.

Speaker 20 God damn it.

Speaker 25 Insurance is such a pain in the ass sometimes.

Speaker 53 No. No, no.

Speaker 82 I try to work with her. I tried to tell what to do, and she's,

Speaker 82 well, I'll tell you because she's in Texas, but she seems a good, she's a smart person, but we got to discuss it about,

Speaker 82 she doesn't know what burial things are. I got to explain to her.
It's just a long story.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I get it. So the guys will be in touch, and we will book all the travel for you.

Speaker 6 And then, yeah, this will be a super fun thing, man.

Speaker 18 Thank you so much for oh, Robert, which phone number is the best for Josh to reach out to you? Could you just like answer your phones and stuff?

Speaker 82 The one user now. Okay,

Speaker 31 mark this one as the good number, guys.

Speaker 18 So keep a lookout for the phone calls, okay, Robert?

Speaker 82 Okay, as long as it's a morning like this, we're okay.

Speaker 71 Okay.

Speaker 44 Okay, cool.

Speaker 82 The 25th and 27th. Okay.

Speaker 10 All right. Awesome, man.
Can't wait.

Speaker 70 We'll talk to you soon.

Speaker 24 Okay. Okay.

Speaker 13 Gotcha. Bye, sweetie.
Bye-bye.

Speaker 24 Bye-bye.

Speaker 18 He goes, as long as it's in the morning like this, it's like 12.30 his time.

Speaker 19 It's later than that, I believe.

Speaker 18 It's not the morning remotely. He's just resting.

Speaker 6 Yeah, it's 1.07 there.

Speaker 18 He's resting. Did he always have a cat?

Speaker 10 I don't think so.

Speaker 69 I've never heard him really talk about the cat before.

Speaker 18 Me neither. That was never a concern.

Speaker 52 And they went from all boarding the cat and boarding the cat to like, it'll be fine here.

Speaker 44 I'm like, yeah,

Speaker 1 it's good.

Speaker 1 Well, this is very exciting.

Speaker 32 This is very exciting.

Speaker 18 Did you ever, in your wildest dreams, imagine Tony Johns with Robert Paul Champagne and Alexis Fox?

Speaker 6 Dude, Officer Cum Dump getting a real role. Yeah.

Speaker 85 It's a really cool thing.

Speaker 21 He's so good.

Speaker 18 Yeah. Babe, we're making so many dreams come true.
Yeah.

Speaker 7 So, yeah.

Speaker 5 There you go.

Speaker 18 I can't believe it.

Speaker 41 Speaking of big news, we have a YMASH exclusive.

Speaker 49 I should probably treat it with the respect that it deserves.

Speaker 43 It's true.

Speaker 52 Netfricks, the streaming platform,

Speaker 2 I have a new show coming out called Bad Thoughts.

Speaker 69 And it's going to come out on May 13th.

Speaker 22 So, I hope you all will check it out.

Speaker 64 So far, the teaser has dropped, but now

Speaker 78 the full trailer is coming out.

Speaker 40 And the good people at Netflix have allowed us to debut the trailer first. Wow.
So, we get to play it before anybody else.

Speaker 52 So, we're going to go full screen.

Speaker 41 We're going to mute the mics and we're going to let you watch the trailer.

Speaker 7 And then we will come back and we'll talk about it.

Speaker 70 Awesome. So, here you go.

Speaker 5 It is the world-exclusive premiere of the new trailer for bad thoughts coming out May 13th on Netflix.

Speaker 20 And he

Speaker 87 goes, You got 24 hours, Agent 6.

Speaker 16 Don't get yourself killed.

Speaker 32 It's a job.

Speaker 34 I only have one room left:

Speaker 32 no women, no children.

Speaker 32 Oh my god.

Speaker 32 Well, I think I'm going out of my head.

Speaker 32 Yes, I think I'm going out of my head.

Speaker 88 I'm a global country superstar who's lost his mojo.

Speaker 66 So he decided to kidnap his fans, force them to live in a poor people town.

Speaker 88 Make them share their deepest, darkest traumas.

Speaker 18 It's like he put it in the hit songs.

Speaker 89 My mother died in 9-11. Ooh!

Speaker 68 I like that.

Speaker 6 Get this starving bitch a shrimp.

Speaker 32 Large iced coffee and just a slash of whole milk.

Speaker 17 Next.

Speaker 31 Could you just remake this with less milk?

Speaker 66 Less milk?

Speaker 63 I'm a professional barista. I know what a fucking splash is.

Speaker 88 Think of this as a conversation.

Speaker 84 To get to the truth. What the matter with me, big boy.

Speaker 41 Want to get to the real stuff.

Speaker 18 He's clearly using that headset for virtual reality form.

Speaker 41 I have severe carpal tunnels. Quick stuff.

Speaker 84 You're a terrible person.

Speaker 13 Raw stuff.

Speaker 11 Welcome to the party.

Speaker 11 There's no better feeling than killing the enemy.

Speaker 19 You know, we have to transfer schools, right?

Speaker 14 Of course.

Speaker 22 I am exhausted.

Speaker 18 You killed three people.

Speaker 17 I know.

Speaker 59 Why not? You guys do it. it.

Speaker 13 And there you go. Yeah, it's so good.

Speaker 18 It's the trailer. It's so good.

Speaker 29 Yeah, we're stoked.

Speaker 18 Babe, this show is so fucking great.

Speaker 22 It's really exciting.

Speaker 18 I'm so stoked. I've watched you go through the whole process.
You've spared no expense.

Speaker 6 The writing for the whole production of it, and now we've been in post for months, and now it gets to come out.

Speaker 45 So we're super excited for it.

Speaker 68 So good.

Speaker 3 We'll have a premiere in another well the premiere is actually

Speaker 47 may 6 right no yeah it's may 6 yeah so exciting coming up in like a few days oh my god yeah but so many people you know work so hard i think that's the thing you realize too when you actually get to do a project like this is you're like oh man this is truly a collaborative experience like there's so many people involved so many And they all they all bust their ass.

Speaker 23 Everybody tries.

Speaker 35 That's the other thing is you're like, man, even when a show comes out and like, because you don't know how a show is going to be received, I don't know what, what, but you're like, man, people really try.

Speaker 22 They really try. Everyone tries their best to make the best thing possible.

Speaker 24 Definitely. Yeah.

Speaker 18 Well, it also matters the team that you've assembled. You really found some like-minded weirdos to work on this with you.
Top to bottom. And you can see Rob Eiler is in that.
Yeah.

Speaker 18 There's a lot of stars, a lot of people.

Speaker 10 Rob Eiler's in it.

Speaker 41 Kirk Fox is in it.

Speaker 2 Daniela Pineda's in it.

Speaker 6 Johnny Pemberton's in it.

Speaker 18 i'm forgetting tons of people tons of people dan stevens is in it um

Speaker 81 who else alan rachel's in it um

Speaker 81 shay wiggum

Speaker 18 shea wiggum's in it which is unbelievable i mean you you got yeah we got so many fucking heavy hitters we do so good and you know what's great too is these thoughts these awful thoughts have been marinating as long as I've known you.

Speaker 80 You just said that to me.

Speaker 18 And it's so cool to see them now out there in in the world like

Speaker 18 there's so many jokes and so many ideas that are in there for from 20 years nuggets have been there so long yeah yeah that's true cool that you got to do them all and it looks amazing yeah that i got to give credit to to nico uh our dp was just unbelievable in it and then the writers uh rami hishash jeremy connor zimin and gerrard connor galvin um were amazing.

Speaker 22 Greg Tukulescu, who also helped us.

Speaker 60 Yeah, it was like, it was a huge, huge collaborative effort. I got to direct a few of these, which was a huge win for me, something I always wanted to do.
So I directed three of the stories.

Speaker 26 So we'll get into that more when the show comes out.

Speaker 18 And also some, you know, little YMH Easter eggs.

Speaker 31 There's some Easter eggs in there.

Speaker 18 Which is so fun that we got to, you got to put it in.

Speaker 6 I like that. Some people were like, oh, you have to be a YMH insider to get this.

Speaker 12 Not at all.

Speaker 54 No.

Speaker 32 0%.

Speaker 18 But it helps. It helps to have the same sensibility.

Speaker 6 Yeah, Yeah, but none of them are contingent upon understanding an inside joke.

Speaker 31 No, no, no.

Speaker 18 But if you're a fan, you'll be happy to see some stuff in there.

Speaker 33 Yeah, so

Speaker 75 again, that's the full trailer.

Speaker 1 Show comes out May 13th.

Speaker 70 I hope you watch it.

Speaker 12 I hope you tell people to watch it.

Speaker 47 We couldn't be happier about it.

Speaker 71 Yeah.

Speaker 13 Awesome. There you go.

Speaker 52 Oh, Tanner found the full gay auto mechanics scene.

Speaker 18 But before that, can I just plug my lipsticks? Get it in time for Mother's Day.

Speaker 2 It's a great thing to put on your lips before you blow a guy.

Speaker 18 Yep. Christinap.com.
Get all all four colors. Get the perfect four by now in time for Mother's Day.
Get them right now, right now, right now.

Speaker 90 Get them right now, right now, right now, right now.

Speaker 18 Are we really going to watch the full gay scene?

Speaker 53 I'm so excited.

Speaker 32 I just want to see what happens.

Speaker 31 Like, what happens here? I know.

Speaker 18 Okay. It's a mystery.

Speaker 2 It's called greased up.

Speaker 44 Okay.

Speaker 2 Greased up. Where does it go from here?

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 65 We've been working our asses. You guys, man.
Get off your asses and back to work. Come on, man.
We're taking a break.

Speaker 46 Yeah, resting.

Speaker 65 There's 15 cars here that need to be serviced. Now get back to it.
Listen here, fucker. The only thing that needs servicing around here is our cocks.
So get on your knees and beg like a bitch.

Speaker 56 What?

Speaker 65 You're fucking fired? You can't fire us. Our buck.
Without us, this place would hold.

Speaker 30 Ooh, that's a good company.

Speaker 65 Get on your knees because I'm in charge now.

Speaker 13 Right away?

Speaker 18 Oh, so he forces him. That's how he gets him.

Speaker 18 Because we were wondering how

Speaker 18 Tom and I are wondering how he goes from what to sucking his tears. It was pretty fast.
He forced his head down.

Speaker 45 Yeah, it was pretty quick.

Speaker 40 Yeah.

Speaker 85 Okay.

Speaker 18 Wow, that was so sudden. It was like,

Speaker 18 I feel like we missed a few beats here.

Speaker 41 Thanks, Tanner.

Speaker 13 Appreciate you doing the research.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I mean, he really just went from what?

Speaker 39 And then they pulled him down by his tie.

Speaker 18 So it was involuntary. It looked like there was.

Speaker 69 He doesn't want to be there.

Speaker 13 I can tell. He's like, I run a business.

Speaker 6 I'm trying to run this fucking mechanic shop.

Speaker 18 Well, now all three of them are banging in the none of those cars.

Speaker 6 No cars are getting serviced now.

Speaker 73 So it actually, he was right.

Speaker 22 They really should get back to work. Yeah.

Speaker 18 So true. It's really interesting.
I don't know about this mechanic shop.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I don't know about taking my car here. I'd like, if you could find out the name of the place, I'd like to avoid it because they don't actually work.

Speaker 22 They're just all fucking

Speaker 30 not cool.

Speaker 18 Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 18 That's right. All these workplace orgies and stuff get in the way.
It's pretty cool. It is pretty cool.
Yep.

Speaker 18 Speaking of cool,

Speaker 18 have you seen our homeboy from the Rolling Stones? Mick Jagger got married. Oh, nice.
Yeah. You want to check out his bride?

Speaker 25 Yeah, let's see her.

Speaker 18 Do you want to guess how old she is?

Speaker 2 72.

Speaker 21 No, silly.

Speaker 18 He's 81 and she is 37.

Speaker 34 That's cool. That works.

Speaker 50 That's perfect, right? Yeah.

Speaker 18 Do you have the cool guy, Riff, we can play?

Speaker 13 Sure.

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 18 This is so cool. They look so happy together.

Speaker 13 They do.

Speaker 52 Well, he's engaged to his longtime partner.

Speaker 18 How long could it have been?

Speaker 90 Melanie Hamrick.

Speaker 18 I mean, how long?

Speaker 45 He looks happy as shit there.

Speaker 18 No, he's always happy. He's a fucking Mick Jagger.

Speaker 18 But hey, good for him. At least he's marrying her and they can have kids.
There's nothing worse than when a guy just uses up your best years and then spits you out. Yeah.

Speaker 18 Like he took her best fertile years, but then he's got to knock her up, right?

Speaker 13 I would think so.

Speaker 22 Has she had a kid?

Speaker 18 I don't know. Let's do some research.

Speaker 18 Oh, maybe she has children.

Speaker 48 Has one child named Devereaux.

Speaker 18 With Mick Jagger.

Speaker 2 Yeah, they welcomed him in 2016.

Speaker 39 Oh, that kid's almost 10.

Speaker 18 So

Speaker 18 that is a longtime partner.

Speaker 45 Miss Jagger's eighth kid.

Speaker 70 Yeah. Oh, they've been in a relationship since 2014.

Speaker 18 But you know what? He hasn't been sure about her this whole time.

Speaker 39 So they've been dating since she was 26.

Speaker 22 So that is the best fertile years. But he gave her a kid.

Speaker 18 Made an honest woman out of her. Why do you think it took him an entire like he was on the fence for a decade with her?

Speaker 77 I'm pretty busy.

Speaker 6 I do a lot of shit. I don't know, man.

Speaker 2 This could go either way. You know what I mean?

Speaker 34 I don't want to fucking lock into something.

Speaker 18 I mean, let's be kinced.

Speaker 13 Bitch,

Speaker 68 you are replaceable.

Speaker 39 You ain't, you ain't shit.

Speaker 8 I'm not reliable, and neither are you.

Speaker 18 And he's in her thoughts.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 36 Yeah, that's fucking so cool for sure, man.

Speaker 18 But real talk.

Speaker 29 Yeah, real talk.

Speaker 18 Can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, ma'am.

Speaker 18 I want you to be brutally honest with me with dudes like that dragging their asses for a decade on a woman. What the fuck is wrong? What is going on there?

Speaker 80 They're not sure.

Speaker 18 They're not sure about her or not sure they want to be married or both.

Speaker 35 Both.

Speaker 6 Probably more just, I don't know if I want to be married, I think.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Because I think that's real scary.

Speaker 75 Some dudes, it's really, really scary.

Speaker 18 Just have one be for a moment.

Speaker 59 Yeah, so they're, I mean, you've got to actually give credit to, like, they're not marrying them. And

Speaker 68 that's the decision.

Speaker 64 Like, it's clear. Yeah.

Speaker 6 If he's not asking you to get married and you're cool with it, then that's fine.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 18 That's fine. Yeah.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 18 I know. But if you're abroad that like wants to have kids, I mean, a lot of chicks will tell them.

Speaker 10 You see it all the time.

Speaker 52 Women go, hey, if you're not going to marry me, then I'm out of here.

Speaker 18 Which is what they should do is just get out of there if you want to have children and the whole thing. So, so Mick Jagger is a cool guy marrying his 37-year-old longtime partner.

Speaker 18 They started when they were 26. He's 81.
On the flip side of this, you have an actual cool guy, like I mean, a genuine person like Canu Reeves, who is dating an age-appropriate woman.

Speaker 18 Yeah, and he gets so much shit.

Speaker 70 Does he get a lot of shit?

Speaker 18 Yes. Like, online, people are like, oh my God, she's got gray hair.
She's so old. And it's like, well, yeah, it's age-appropriate.
That's

Speaker 64 who you should be.

Speaker 29 She looks lovely, though.

Speaker 18 She's great.

Speaker 18 And there's pictures of them eating in restaurants, like laughing and having the best time.

Speaker 21 And like, they're very happy.

Speaker 2 They look happy. They look good.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 70 How old is she?

Speaker 18 I don't know. How old is how old is she?

Speaker 30 She's 52. She's 52.

Speaker 18 And how old is Canu?

Speaker 81 Canoe's got to be a little older than that.

Speaker 18 Maybe like

Speaker 18 60. Okay, so that's

Speaker 13 eight years younger.

Speaker 18 But that's still the proper ballpark. Like he's, God, he looks so great.
He's so fit for 60.

Speaker 28 60.

Speaker 60 That's wild.

Speaker 27 That doesn't look like a 60-year-old man.

Speaker 53 No.

Speaker 41 Neither does Tom Cruise.

Speaker 27 Tom Cruise was just up there.

Speaker 60 He's 62.

Speaker 18 But see, Canoe is half Asian.

Speaker 18 So he's got that Asian blood that keeps you young forever. They look great.
They don't age.

Speaker 21 They don't age. But do you think he's had work?

Speaker 39 Yeah, a little bit. Maybe a little, yeah.

Speaker 21 But the right amount. Yeah.

Speaker 18 The right amount.

Speaker 75 Movie stars should.

Speaker 18 Absolutely. If you're on a big screen and people are looking at your big, dumb head.

Speaker 78 he's had it.

Speaker 22 Cruise has had it. Pitt.
Pit stops had it. They all have little touch-ups.

Speaker 18 You know, who's had really good work done? Gwynney Peltrow. Oh, really? She apparently had the bottom lifted, and you can see because of the ears, you know, that.

Speaker 18 And then she had the bleffs, which is, I'm going to have my upper blephs done in July. You guys are going to get to see me all fucking weird looking.

Speaker 18 But she looks great. She had the right amount.

Speaker 18 I'm not going to do that. I'm just getting my eyelids dropped.

Speaker 21 My eyelids are drooping.

Speaker 18 But she looks fantastic. She's just a few years older than me.

Speaker 10 When I do it, I'm going to go full.

Speaker 13 Full.

Speaker 24 Full

Speaker 59 all the way back.

Speaker 78 This shit up here like this.

Speaker 21 Yeah.

Speaker 54 And I'm going to go, hi.

Speaker 92 It's great to be back on stage.

Speaker 18 Like Liberace, that Liberace movie when he couldn't close his eyes to sleep.

Speaker 39 Snoring with his eyes open. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 18 Oh, Tom Cruise looks great.

Speaker 18 He's 62 years old now. That's ridiculous.
I'm not seeing.

Speaker 51 When you look at somebody somebody and you're like, that guy's less than a decade from 70.

Speaker 13 Impossible. Yeah.

Speaker 18 No, he takes good care of himself.

Speaker 36 For sure. Yeah.

Speaker 18 All these celebrities, they all get face lips. They're all doing all kinds of shit to their face.

Speaker 80 He's on top of his nutrition.

Speaker 8 That too.

Speaker 2 He has been for decades.

Speaker 60 That too.

Speaker 27 He's physically fit.

Speaker 61 He's really active.

Speaker 18 Because I'll tell you, man, Gen Pop, when I was getting my colonoscopy, when I'm in these doctors' offices for all my blood work and all these MRIs and stuff,

Speaker 18 Gen Pop does not look good, man. I mean, I'm looking at people

Speaker 18 in the future, and I'm like, this is what happens when you don't take care of your body, and you must start really taking care of yourself in your 40s.

Speaker 12 Yeah, 40s is where you lay the ground.

Speaker 29 It's crucial.

Speaker 31 I know. Because once you're 60, it's too late.

Speaker 64 It's too late.

Speaker 18 You've already got diabetes and problems.

Speaker 10 If you're 60 and you haven't started, don't start.

Speaker 18 Don't start. It's too late.

Speaker 32 Just throw in the towel.

Speaker 18 Keep doing what you're doing. Yeah.

Speaker 13 Just keep going. Well,

Speaker 13 that's the message right now.

Speaker 18 Your sister gives your mom shit for like drinking or or doing things. And I'm like, don't give her shit.
She's 80 years old. Let her eat cake and wine for dinner.
Who cares?

Speaker 41 Yeah.

Speaker 6 She's rounding third right now.

Speaker 22 So it's just like, let her come home.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 18 Who cares? And she's in great health.

Speaker 38 She doesn't have any health problems.

Speaker 50 It's insane. Yeah.

Speaker 18 It's insane.

Speaker 18 How long do you want her to go? Until 100?

Speaker 39 No.

Speaker 68 Don't even put that out there.

Speaker 48 God.

Speaker 34 No.

Speaker 27 Got a couple of years at best.

Speaker 18 And she's in great health, so let her ruin it now. Now's the time.

Speaker 13 Right? Yeah.

Speaker 18 Don't start eating salads now when you're 80.

Speaker 13 You've been eating like a toddler.

Speaker 25 First of all, she won't anyway.

Speaker 70 No. No.

Speaker 64 I've been trying to get her to do a daily casual neighborhood walk for one decade.

Speaker 51 No.

Speaker 31 And she's like,

Speaker 34 I did it two weeks ago. I hate it.

Speaker 30 I'm like, okay.

Speaker 25 Hates it. Don't walk then.

Speaker 41 And then she's like, I can't walk anywhere.

Speaker 35 I'm like, yeah, okay.

Speaker 18 She did do Pilates with Jane and me like two months ago, and she did it. We were afraid that she'd fall off the machine and stuff.
Like, everybody was nervous, but she did it. She should be.

Speaker 18 She hasn't gone back yet, but yeah.

Speaker 19 Yeah, she's out of her fucking mind.

Speaker 18 Good genetics, though, Jane.

Speaker 49 She's a crazy person.

Speaker 18 Let's hope you get it.

Speaker 5 It's crazy.

Speaker 9 She's one of seven, you know.

Speaker 10 I know. She's the youngest of seven.

Speaker 6 Most are dead.

Speaker 33 Because who's alive?

Speaker 22 Four are so three are dead.

Speaker 6 It's all men.

Speaker 22 Oh, don't say that. Oscar,

Speaker 24 Juan Liz, and Pepe are dead.

Speaker 33 Some of them died in their 60s.

Speaker 18 Don't say that. It's true.

Speaker 77 But Armando is still alive.

Speaker 49 He's older than her.

Speaker 22 Blanca is still alive. She's older.

Speaker 77 And Marita is still alive.

Speaker 30 And she's older. So

Speaker 26 she has older siblings that are all alive.

Speaker 18 I know. I think about my DNA.
Like, I had bad luck with the breast cancer stuff.

Speaker 18 But my dad, on the other hand,

Speaker 18 is a roach. He never had a green vegetable, never drank water in his life.
Just booze and like horseradish and sausage.

Speaker 25 Fine.

Speaker 18 Fine. Fine.

Speaker 31 He's in his late 70s now. Yeah, dude.

Speaker 18 He's going to be 80s. Fine.
Crazy. I just pray that he gets some of that.

Speaker 75 It really is a roll of the dice, though, on this shit.

Speaker 18 You know, it's some of it is.

Speaker 53 No, all of it is.

Speaker 18 My oncologist, I was like, hey, what's the common denominator with people you see that have cancer? She goes, nothing. Nothing.

Speaker 18 Luck. She's like, people who smoked their whole lives won't get lung cancer.
Somebody who's never smoked will get lung cancer. Crazy.
She goes, actually, the only thing you can do

Speaker 18 is be an asshole she goes assholes live forever and i'm like that's fucking so true yeah you know we know that um

Speaker 59 we know that couple in la

Speaker 2 where she's younger than him and um which one i feel like that's all of la no but these are friends okay and he doesn't look close to his age and he's like yeah this age like 60 ish and His parents lived into their 90s.

Speaker 77 Wow. And so you're like, oh, because you're like, well, you look really good.

Speaker 21 Oh, right.

Speaker 18 I know which couple you're talking about.

Speaker 20 Oh, you look really good, man. Yeah.

Speaker 28 And he's like, yeah, mom's 96. Yep.

Speaker 69 You're like, mom's 96?

Speaker 68 Yep.

Speaker 3 Like, yeah.

Speaker 6 And my dad lived to 94.

Speaker 3 And you're like, oh, okay. There's something in your genes.

Speaker 18 It's totally genetics. Yeah.

Speaker 18 No, you're just, you're hashtag blessed or you're not.

Speaker 19 If Charl pushes it into her 90s, I'm going to lose my fucking mind.

Speaker 18 She might, dude.

Speaker 18 She might. It's unbelievable.

Speaker 31 She's been promising to check out for so long now.

Speaker 27 She just keeps fucking.

Speaker 18 Because she's been threatening that shit. Like, I'm going to die soon since I've known her for 20 years now.

Speaker 53 Yeah. I'm going to die.

Speaker 80 Dude, I remember being a kid and she was like, I do understand I'm 45.

Speaker 20 Yeah. I'm going to die.

Speaker 13 And I'm like, okay.

Speaker 13 All right.

Speaker 68 I'm six. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Thanks for telling me.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 18 Put that mortality in your head already as a kid. That doesn't help.

Speaker 22 Pretty crazy.

Speaker 6 This is so funny.

Speaker 31 One of my favorite comedians is Miss Pat. Oh, she's so funny.

Speaker 32 And she was on Trick Daddy's Pod. They were cooking.
This is such a funny exchange.

Speaker 89 Damn, how long have you been in the game rapping and shit?

Speaker 93 I've been rapping since 95.

Speaker 89 Did you go to Diddy parties?

Speaker 93 They don't invite no nigga like me at Diddy Parties.

Speaker 93 My homeboys would rob that bitch, tell her all them niggas, put your dicks up and raise your hand and drop your money in your wallet in this basket.

Speaker 93 Yeah, I ain't gonna invite no motherfucking Diddy parties. I'm not a Diddy party ass nigga.
I'm not that kind of dude.

Speaker 18 I love that Miss Pat has the balls to ask that.

Speaker 68 Oh, of course.

Speaker 36 She's the best.

Speaker 25 She'll ask anything.

Speaker 32 Have you gone to a ditty party? So funny.

Speaker 13 She's like, fuck no.

Speaker 30 He's like, put your dicks up.

Speaker 73 Take your wallets, which is true.

Speaker 78 Which is true.

Speaker 27 There's no way Trick Daddy and his crew would go to a ditty party.

Speaker 49 That would never happen.

Speaker 32 So fucking funny, though.

Speaker 2 I love Miss Pat. I think I'm going to see her.

Speaker 18 Oh, yeah?

Speaker 74 I think in New York, when I go to New York, she's going to be there.

Speaker 18 Yeah, she's great, man.

Speaker 18 We got to get her to move out to Austin where she's got family and shit.

Speaker 46 Yeah.

Speaker 60 I thought you would like this just because you like music.

Speaker 50 You're a cool music fan.

Speaker 53 Oh boy.

Speaker 94 Multiple major labels told me that despite my talent, I was still too old in my mid-30s to begin a music career.

Speaker 84 Well,

Speaker 41 here's what I say to that:

Speaker 61 My name is the Rafa,

Speaker 61 and I make music.

Speaker 37 Yeah.

Speaker 37 Everything

Speaker 22 I thought the staff put this together, but it's a real clip.

Speaker 18 For people just listening, he's in a day glow bodysuit, and this is his, these are his tunes.

Speaker 21 These are his tunes, yeah.

Speaker 18 This is the guy.

Speaker 39 He's not too old.

Speaker 18 He's not too old.

Speaker 13 No, you kidding me? No fucking way, man.

Speaker 18 He feels fresh as fuck, dude.

Speaker 23 All is forgiven.

Speaker 80 I wonder if putting that on is what puts him in a musical mood.

Speaker 27 God.

Speaker 18 Probably. That's like his outfit, his show.
You know, we all wear shit on stage that makes you feel more funny. Yeah.
This definitely makes him feel sexier and activated and like rhythmic, dude.

Speaker 25 Dude, way to go, man.

Speaker 18 Wait, do you think that's true, though, that you can't start a music career past 30? Are there any examples of it?

Speaker 10 I'm trying to think about it. I mean, you can, but.

Speaker 18 Moby. Moby's old as fuck.

Speaker 51 But he's been making music a long time.

Speaker 18 Even before he broke it?

Speaker 29 Yeah, because that's bald already, dude.

Speaker 6 He broke with that album in like 97,

Speaker 35 98.

Speaker 20 That's when that Moby Play album came out. It was like around 98, 99.

Speaker 27 So that's already 25 plus years ago.

Speaker 2 He was making music before that. That wasn't his first album.

Speaker 27 So he was, yeah, he was doing it alone.

Speaker 18 Hold on.

Speaker 38 Oh, Liz, but get it on.

Speaker 18 I like it. It's very catchy.

Speaker 32 Yeah, it is catchy.

Speaker 18 And I like, I actually like Day Glow thing, thing, the Glow-in-the-Dark shits.

Speaker 46 Yeah.

Speaker 18 Can I tell you, though, in today's world, you never know. This song could take off on TikTok.

Speaker 20 You never know.

Speaker 18 And like people could be memeing that shit, and then he could get a fucking record deal now.

Speaker 29 Yeah, I don't believe the shit about it's too late to do

Speaker 29 creative stuff. No.

Speaker 2 If you want to write, if you want to paint, if you want to, you should definitely do it.

Speaker 18 Start in your 50s. There are people I follow on TikTok or like elderly people, and they're so rad.
They come up with crazy stuff. Yeah.
What are you thinking?

Speaker 2 No, I was looking at this thing on the porn?

Speaker 24 No.

Speaker 21 Fuck porn. Yeah, you're thinking about what?

Speaker 13 No.

Speaker 56 What?

Speaker 17 Suck your guy's cocks?

Speaker 42 Okay.

Speaker 29 Okay.

Speaker 29 Yeah. Okay.

Speaker 34 All right.

Speaker 10 You fuck me and I'll blow him.

Speaker 21 Fine. Okay.

Speaker 18 What would you do if you had to make like an album now? But you do rap, right? You'd be raps.

Speaker 6 I don't think I could. I'm not a...

Speaker 31 No, I couldn't do that.

Speaker 20 My interest isn't even in that.

Speaker 6 It would be in production.

Speaker 41 Like, that's the stuff I like.

Speaker 30 What do you mean?

Speaker 20 Like, making beats, even though I can't make one.

Speaker 32 That's what I like the most.

Speaker 12 Making beats.

Speaker 50 Well, that's what I enjoy the most, is like the production in hip-hop.

Speaker 18 You'd be like Rick Rubin, but Rick Rubin.

Speaker 25 No, he's a producer.

Speaker 59 Yeah. Like, I'm saying, I like what the mellow, the beat that you hear.

Speaker 18 Oh, I don't like that at all. I like the lyrics and the words.
Because there are songs where the beat is cool, but the words are so dumb I tap out.

Speaker 39 There's a lot of songs like that.

Speaker 2 I can't do it. I know.

Speaker 6 And what I do is I tune out the words and I just listen to the beat.

Speaker 18 You know what? You would write a song about roogies. You love them so much.

Speaker 38 I love my roogies.

Speaker 18 I suck on them all day long.

Speaker 86 Rugies in my mouth.

Speaker 39 I put them in my butt.

Speaker 21 You should put them in your butt.

Speaker 38 It's roogie test.

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 18 Well, you and those roogies. The kids want to try the roogies, too.

Speaker 40 We should get them.

Speaker 18 Let your kids try roogies.

Speaker 2 They already know that babies like to smoke and eat sausage.

Speaker 2 You know what you brought up the other day that I was thinking about?

Speaker 86 What?

Speaker 23 How you learn alcohol drinks at different phases of your life?

Speaker 41 Yes.

Speaker 6 And I was thinking about it because I was like, like when you order a drink, like I remember learning what a screwdriver was.

Speaker 18 Oh my God.

Speaker 51 And feeling so like sophisticated.

Speaker 18 So grown up.

Speaker 32 And I'd be like, let me get a screwdriver.

Speaker 54 And

Speaker 29 I know.

Speaker 18 Because it sounds hard, but it's not. It's just vodka and orange juice.

Speaker 62 You're like, yeah, I don't order.

Speaker 12 I don't say, can I get a vodka and orange juice?

Speaker 48 I was just going to go let me get a screwdriver.

Speaker 6 And the night I OD'd when I was a freshman in college, I had 14 screwdrivers.

Speaker 38 14? Yeah.

Speaker 38 Yeah.

Speaker 13 It's part of why I ate.

Speaker 46 It's part of why I ended up in the hospital.

Speaker 53 Tome. Yeah.

Speaker 18 Did you drink them before you dosed? Yeah.

Speaker 22 So I was lit.

Speaker 32 I was super drunk.

Speaker 6 And then I dosed.

Speaker 35 And then I was like,

Speaker 18 bro, you were on your way to a significant problem.

Speaker 6 I was on my way to the grave.

Speaker 46 Yeah.

Speaker 18 You were doing 14 mixed drinks.

Speaker 43 After ecstasy, too.

Speaker 40 I took ecstasy.

Speaker 22 Then I drank those 14 drinks over a few hours, obviously.

Speaker 20 Oh, yeah, just a few hours.

Speaker 22 And then I did the GHB.

Speaker 35 But one of the things I always remember is screwdrivers.

Speaker 42 You were on your way.

Speaker 31 Yeah, and then you learned, what was the seven and seven? No, hold on.

Speaker 18 So, screwdrivers, when I was 13, Jenny Pentland taught me what a screwdriver was. And we would make them in my house when my parents were gone and drink them in the jacuzzi.
They liked so bad.

Speaker 18 It's a fucking screwdriver. And that was the first drink.
And then you learned,

Speaker 18 well, Zima was in college.

Speaker 39 No, I didn't do that, I'm not getting that.

Speaker 18 Oh, Strawberry Hill, Boone Strawberry Hill was high school.

Speaker 74 Did you drink that?

Speaker 11 No, what we started at, like, I also thought it was uh cool to say on the rocks.

Speaker 86 Oh, my god, you can get that on the rocks, on the rocks, um, strawberry hill.

Speaker 59 There it is, then cubal libre, which is a big one with like the Latinos, yeah,

Speaker 27 which is just rum and coke, um,

Speaker 59 but it sounds way better when you say cubal libre, yeah, um, seven and seven, seven Seven and seven.

Speaker 18 Okay. So once you start, so I did those in college.

Speaker 18 Once you puke seven and seven, that phase ends. That ends, yeah.
It's just like the Bacardi phase. The first time you vomit that shit, you're done with Bacardi.
But here's the thing.

Speaker 13 I still,

Speaker 51 I'm so bad now.

Speaker 6 One thing is I don't, I don't drink a lot, but I'm, whenever I see a cocktail menu, I'm like, oh, I go, what's like, because I always have kind of the same desire at this point in my life where I go, I like it to be like refreshing taste.

Speaker 6 So I like things with cucumber, mint, and but like not too sweet.

Speaker 78 So it can have a little bit, but like really sugary, sweet ones.

Speaker 20 Yeah, forget it.

Speaker 3 Oh my God. Remember when you learned a Long Island icon?

Speaker 18 I was just going to say that. I learned that.

Speaker 27 I feel like that was going from high school to college.

Speaker 74 Yeah. Let me get Long Island.
Oh, my God.

Speaker 18 So Long Islands, I discovered like first year. That's to get complex.

Speaker 25 Obliterated.

Speaker 18 Because they were cheap, right? Because you could get one Long Island Iced Tea for $13 and then you'd be ripped.

Speaker 18 And there was a couple places that would serve minors, Casa Vega in the valley, and the Dresden Room.

Speaker 18 And we would go there and they would give you Long Island iced teas when you were like 18 years old. Oh, shout out to Casa Vegas.

Speaker 52 Casa Vega is still around, probably enjoying the free plug.

Speaker 18 They serve minors. Thanks for the underaged booze.
I'm sure they don't do it anymore. But in the late 90s, that was fucking fire, dog.

Speaker 2 Well, this old dogface, I used to just walk into bars at 17.

Speaker 41 They'd be like,

Speaker 81 how's it going, sir?

Speaker 13 What do you like?

Speaker 18 I had a fake idea. Here's a Dresden.
Yeah.

Speaker 40 You didn't have to pull it out all the time.

Speaker 18 I didn't have to do it either. No, the Dresden Room, this is before it became cool from that movie Swingers.

Speaker 13 You think of your tits?

Speaker 22 They saw your tits and they were like, this titted broad as a kid.

Speaker 18 Because tits got me to buy cigarettes when I was 13 at the time to buy a liquor store off Newcastle in Venturo Boulevard.

Speaker 18 I would wear my bikini top in when I was 13 and go-go boots and a skirt, and the guy would always sell me cigarettes. And that's how I got booze.
And then beer in high school, I think we had a plug.

Speaker 18 Like, I think somebody's brother got us beers. Yeah.
And then you'd go to the nightclub.

Speaker 18 We'd go to like Helderskelter, the Goth Club, park in the parking lot across the street, drink our beers in the parking lot, and then go into the club with a fake ID.

Speaker 23 I went into a liquor store in Boston.

Speaker 22 I was visiting my sister.

Speaker 32 I was going to school there.

Speaker 35 And I go to the liquor store and I put all the beer and everything on the counter. And the guy was like, ID? And I handed it to him.

Speaker 27 He laughed and handed it back.

Speaker 40 He goes, get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 18 I was like, did you even get the beer?

Speaker 25 No, he was like, get out of here.

Speaker 23 But that's also a fake ID town because Boston is a massive college community.

Speaker 28 You know, they have 61 colleges and universities in the greater Boston area.

Speaker 22 So they're used to underage kids trying to.

Speaker 50 Yeah.

Speaker 49 He was like, get out the fuck out of here, dude. Yeah.

Speaker 18 Oh, seven and seven. And then Cosmopolitans.
See, I don't even know what that is. When that came out, Sex in the City came out, and then all the girls were drinking their like pink foofy drinks.

Speaker 18 And

Speaker 18 you get fucking shitty on these a few times, and then you're done with the Cosmo fan.

Speaker 6 I had my first martini last year.

Speaker 35 Really? I've never had a martini.

Speaker 18 Those are good. Yeah.
They're not sweet.

Speaker 35 Never had one.

Speaker 18 It's not sugar. Sugar is what gives you the big, big hangover.

Speaker 51 I'll tell you what I am into.

Speaker 18 Ginatonic.

Speaker 52 I like Ginatonics with Hendrix

Speaker 54 and monkey food. Sorosos.

Speaker 40 Yeah, but that's vodka, though.

Speaker 18 Vodka and stomach.

Speaker 78 Yeah, but that's a, that, the one that I like for vodka is you do osos, a little soda water,

Speaker 6 a little bit of simple syrup, and then the muddled cucumbers with mint because that's like a refreshing drink.

Speaker 41 I think that's kind of like,

Speaker 32 what's it called, like a vodka sour or a Tom Collins?

Speaker 41 Like it's a version of that.

Speaker 26 But what's the other one that I, oh, I like espresso martinis.

Speaker 32 I can't do that.

Speaker 22 I like that.

Speaker 18 I don't want to get jacked and drunk. It's like, remember when I like coffee, so it's like that taste is so good.

Speaker 18 I know, but I have bad memories of doing Red Bull vodkas in the early aughts, and then you'd be up playing playing video games, drunk as shit at three in the morning.

Speaker 6 We can have an espresso martini day here, guys.

Speaker 60 We should do that one day.

Speaker 46 Hell yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 63 Sounds good to me.

Speaker 30 Yep.

Speaker 18 Porosos on the rocks with just some lime

Speaker 18 is so good. That's good.
And it doesn't have that burning shit. No, it's good to see it.
It's just like clean.

Speaker 18 So good.

Speaker 18 Yeah. But you know what? I, you know, at the end of my drinking career, it was just wine because all this stuff is like, I can't, dude.

Speaker 90 I know.

Speaker 18 I can't metabolize this shit.

Speaker 2 Can't drink too much because in this case happens.

Speaker 66 I want a button for a bathroom that just plays the purge noise, the claxin,

Speaker 29 whenever you have to shit.

Speaker 18 Everyone around knows you have shit.

Speaker 22 Her foofies are real bad. They're bad.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 21 Why are they all black?

Speaker 61 They are rotten.

Speaker 26 They're rotting, and that's probably going to affect her brain soon.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. Yeah, it'll go to your brain.

Speaker 17 The rot?

Speaker 46 Yeah. Fuck.
Yeah.

Speaker 12 Yeah, yeah, you can't.

Speaker 23 She's got serious decay going on in there.

Speaker 18 What does she want the sound of? The purge?

Speaker 26 The purge when she has to shit or after she shit.

Speaker 18 Yeah, yeah, but everybody knows she's shitting. She's a big girl.
There's no fucking mysteries.

Speaker 61 She's not quiet about it.

Speaker 48 They're all like, oh, we know what happened in there.

Speaker 18 And by the way, we don't need a sound effect. No, they know.

Speaker 18 And I know when you shit, because, oh my god, the other morning you were in there, and I've noticed this about you, but I haven't articulated it. Is that you're always like, oh,

Speaker 71 ah,

Speaker 18 like you make make grandpa sounds when you're shitting.

Speaker 22 It feels good.

Speaker 31 Ah! You make sounds when things feel good.

Speaker 90 You know?

Speaker 18 You're not embarrassed.

Speaker 75 Somebody rubs your scalp, you go, ah,

Speaker 31 eat something good.

Speaker 6 Take a nice shit.

Speaker 18 That's what you do. That's your sound.

Speaker 18 And you do it out loud. I'm right next to you.

Speaker 18 You're not embarrassed that I would hear you go, ah.

Speaker 2 No, I want you to know that I feel good now.

Speaker 18 Oh, Oh, I noticed. Yeah.
I just, I don't know. I guess we're built different that way.

Speaker 54 It feels good.

Speaker 6 If you pull up my bean bag,

Speaker 18 okey-dokie. I do that, but I don't know.
I think I'd be embarrassed if I made a sound like that.

Speaker 35 Absolutely not.

Speaker 41 It's very cool.

Speaker 83 Peachy break.

Speaker 18 Yeah, I got a whiz, too.

Speaker 84 Oh,

Speaker 41 that is pretty.

Speaker 75 And we're back, and it's time to explore the marginalized community.

Speaker 12 Can't fucking wait. Let's see what you got for us today.

Speaker 13 Let's do it. All right.

Speaker 95 She was looking for me.

Speaker 95 Oh, here I go.

Speaker 18 I'm about to enter a world

Speaker 18 where anything is possible.

Speaker 18 Won't you come with me?

Speaker 18 Come into the portal of instant manifestation.

Speaker 34 Okay. Let's go.

Speaker 41 Is it Ash Wednesday?

Speaker 63 Is that why that's on her forehead?

Speaker 18 I think it's a birthmark. Oh, okay.

Speaker 13 Well, why don't you want to go into the fucking portal? Well, anything is possible.

Speaker 23 I think that's cool.

Speaker 18 You don't want to make manifestations happen

Speaker 13 now?

Speaker 81 Drugs are involved with something like this.

Speaker 25 She doesn't look high.

Speaker 41 She doesn't look high.

Speaker 23 I think she just has...

Speaker 23 Birthmark.

Speaker 6 No, not a birthmark. I think she has a severe mental illness.

Speaker 18 No.

Speaker 92 Yeah.

Speaker 18 Why don't you open your fucking mind to another portal?

Speaker 80 Yeah.

Speaker 38 Where anything is possible?

Speaker 18 What is wrong with you? You're so closed-minded.

Speaker 41 How do you know she's possible?

Speaker 28 She has that crazed look in her eyes for sure.

Speaker 45 Yeah. Babe.

Speaker 6 She's very disturbed.

Speaker 18 You know what? You and I, this is where we digress. We go different directions.
I'm all into this now. Okay.
I want to see the portal.

Speaker 13 Wow.

Speaker 78 Oh, shit.

Speaker 47 The balls to play this music and do the slow turn.

Speaker 18 It's kind of tight, right?

Speaker 84 Yeah.

Speaker 61 I suppose it's like, oh, my shit. It's tight.
Damn. That's how you can pull it.

Speaker 14 Nice.

Speaker 30 That was.

Speaker 18 Okay, so hold on.

Speaker 13 We could give my mother this haircut.

Speaker 29 Oh, we should.

Speaker 18 It's got V-shaped bangs high above the ears and then a sweet long rat tail.

Speaker 13 But a thick one.

Speaker 40 It's not a little tail.

Speaker 29 It's not a rat tail, though.

Speaker 39 It's not a real tail.

Speaker 18 It's like a.

Speaker 30 It's like a fox tail.

Speaker 29 A pony rat. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 18 It looks so good.

Speaker 6 That is so horrendous.

Speaker 2 Shout out to whoever did that.

Speaker 51 I didn't think anything could be that bad, but you did it.

Speaker 64 Yeah.

Speaker 22 Yeah, that's real dog shit.

Speaker 41 Yeah.

Speaker 91 This is a special secret menu item at the Plasma Gate Coco.

Speaker 18 These are all 100% agave tequila. This one is tequila anejo.

Speaker 18 This yellow one is tequila reposato.

Speaker 18 And this other red one is tequila blanca. Make sure you ask for this because they only have a limited amount on board.
And you do keep it at $65. They're all sealed.

Speaker 92 You can see. Okay, yeah.

Speaker 91 It's 100 milliliters, so that's three and a third ounces.

Speaker 54 So it's some Disney dorsal

Speaker 2 telling you about a secret menu item.

Speaker 18 These two retards spend money at Disney everything.

Speaker 18 And they're childless. So again, low IQ adults with no children going to fucking Disneyland and eating and drinking all this sugar-loaded crap.

Speaker 18 And they're so pumped to give Disney their money. It's ridiculous.
Every post is like, we just spent, we bought the limited edition mug. Yeah, they looked like it's like, what are you doing?

Speaker 39 Yeah, some people, you know,

Speaker 51 they get excited about different things, and this one is as dumb as it gets.

Speaker 49 So, congratulations.

Speaker 32 Absolutely fucking stupid.

Speaker 18 So dumb. Yeah.

Speaker 18 Oh, so this is a real place. Special things about Hammond Harmony's

Speaker 18 hair. Who doesn't like having their hair brushed? It's the ultimate nurture.
What mummies do, isn't it?

Speaker 67 So come and have your hair brushed.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 23 So I don't have hair, but if I could lay in that and have a scalp massage. Yes.

Speaker 18 So I love these two women so much. I DM'd them and I was like, I love everything about this.
Where is it?

Speaker 39 In London?

Speaker 18 Fuck, I forget. It's in the UK, right? Yeah, it's not around us.
Right. That was dummies.
I know. And they were like, yeah, if we open on in Austin.

Speaker 18 I'm like, please, you just lay in a hammock and somebody brushes your hair.

Speaker 13 That's pretty rad.

Speaker 51 This is a good find.

Speaker 6 I think. Congratulations.

Speaker 23 It's one of the only upsetting, non-upsetting TikToks you've found.

Speaker 30 Really cool. You're welcome.

Speaker 50 That's a great idea.

Speaker 53 I know.

Speaker 18 Oh, Salt. Stick Stick Nation.

Speaker 87 I'm in in Boston, Massachusetts. I just found this stick.
It's got some magical shield properties to it for sure.

Speaker 87 As you can see, the display here, it can cast magical wards and spells around it.

Speaker 87 It could also be used as a type of spinning device of some sort, and in a pinch, you could turn it into an umbrella.

Speaker 67 Well,

Speaker 87 this is my stick.

Speaker 18 Thank you, Stignation. I mean, that's a pretty kick-ass stick, dude.

Speaker 33 That is pretty cool.

Speaker 20 I don't know that it can fend off evil spirits.

Speaker 18 What is wrong with you today?

Speaker 31 But it is.

Speaker 27 It's just from official stick reviews.

Speaker 18 You don't believe in the spirit world. You don't believe in alien portals.
What the fuck, dude? Do I even know you anymore?

Speaker 34 Okay.

Speaker 89 Nothing like a box of little duppy honey buns.

Speaker 38 Oh.

Speaker 60 I guess we have Disney adults doing food reviews now.

Speaker 18 I've never had. Nothing like it.

Speaker 18 I've never had those.

Speaker 18 Have you had those? Honey buns? She seems to like them very much. They look frozen, and then you're supposed to heat them up.

Speaker 27 Her face looks frozen.

Speaker 18 Yep, there's something going on there. Yeah.
Something dead inside.

Speaker 42 I like wrapping honey bun.

Speaker 53 Okay.

Speaker 53 What?

Speaker 14 Oh my god.

Speaker 36 This is a lady at a buffet?

Speaker 36 This guy.

Speaker 36 What the fuck?

Speaker 18 Just keep watching.

Speaker 25 I am watching.

Speaker 92 Keep it.

Speaker 32 This guy's just staring at the camera.

Speaker 85 Okay.

Speaker 61 You could look like this.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 18 I definitely think this could be me. Yeah.

Speaker 18 Now she's getting a pedicure, a manicure, and he's following her there.

Speaker 33 He's having a good time.

Speaker 18 He watches her eat.

Speaker 12 There's the food.

Speaker 2 This is really well put together.

Speaker 41 Thanks for flagging this.

Speaker 33 I think we understand what the food is.

Speaker 18 Well, hold on, you don't understand what's happening here.

Speaker 79 30-second shot of the food.

Speaker 18 So that's her on the phone. Do you sense a theme here? Is that he really likes videoing?

Speaker 36 Her.

Speaker 66 Her. yeah

Speaker 18 it's an entire account that this guy just filmed dedicates to her filming her you know what's cool is that reality is what you make of it and in his mind he's hit a home run yeah of course he's in heaven of course he's like yeah of course i document this why don't you take a little lesson from him what do you mean I'm just saying you could worship me a little bit more.

Speaker 18 You could take videos of me lovingly a little bit more.

Speaker 89 What's wrong? Have you ever felt discriminated against during travel? I recently hosted 13 plus size travelers in Thailand, and unfortunately, during our trip, we were discriminated against.

Speaker 42 No!

Speaker 89 As a Thailand black woman that's traveled extensively through Southeast Asia and Thailand specifically, I was able to give my travelers the heads up that they were more than likely going to experience some fat phobia during our trip.

Speaker 89 What I wasn't expecting was that the company that we hired to give us a tour through Bangkok's floating market would be the source of the fatphobic comments.

Speaker 89 Bangkok's floating market is a historical and cultural site that I was super excited for my travelers to experience, which is one of the reasons why it was a highlight as I built the itinerary.

Speaker 89 My travelers were super excited to visit the floating market, but I could feel the mood shift as soon as we started to get on the boats.

Speaker 89 I make sure that all of the companies that I work with are aware that my clients and I are all plus size travelers so that hopefully that can minimize the shock and awe when we arrive.

Speaker 89 After the tour, I checked in with all of my clients and unfortunately one of them was called some disturbing names in English by one of the boat staff.

Speaker 89 In response, we declined to give a tip and contacted the management of that boat company. I've also decided not to bring my clients back to the floating market.

Speaker 89 What would you do if this happened to you? Let me know in the comments.

Speaker 5 Wish we could hear a little more detail about the

Speaker 18 comments. Like, what did they call?

Speaker 35 Yeah.

Speaker 18 And I have a feeling, I mean, look, you're in another culture. They are not as sensitive as we are.

Speaker 7 And they're not, and Thai people are small.

Speaker 34 They're built.

Speaker 27 Like, they have a very slender build.

Speaker 18 So to see, like,

Speaker 18 big American women, it's going to be shocking.

Speaker 13 There's probably a lot of, oh, yeah.

Speaker 41 The market closed early today.

Speaker 18 They aren't in Japan, babe.

Speaker 18 You remove?

Speaker 18 That's more of this, isn't it? You eat all the food.

Speaker 18 We don't shop because there's no food left for you.

Speaker 76 You're so fat and so black.

Speaker 18 We never see so black, fat like you before. Exactly what they said to them.
Exactly. They were like, oh, you're very big.

Speaker 29 American football player.

Speaker 10 No, we're women.

Speaker 29 You play for cowboy.

Speaker 18 And I know it because I've, like, when I was in Korea, yeah, they were like, Oh, you're too big, like they thought I was too big because I was like, I think I went to shop for a bra or something, and they were like, Oh, no, no big sizes for you.

Speaker 18 And I was like, Thank you. So, they just do, they just laugh at you in your face.

Speaker 71 I'm so fat.

Speaker 18 Oh, you're so big. Why are you so big? You never stop or eat, you eat all the day

Speaker 18 exactly, and then they laugh, of course, yeah of course it's really fun yeah yeah

Speaker 96 these saltwater crocodiles in indonesia have apparently learned how to pretend to be drowning to lure humans in who they view as prey who they then obviously eat

Speaker 39 that's

Speaker 64 awesome right that's incredible yeah

Speaker 18 who but who sees a a croc drowning and goes i gotta get in there well they don't think it's a croc they might think it's people because they're just they're on their back with the hands up.

Speaker 18 Like, if you see the look at it, no, I'm serious, that's what they're trying to do.

Speaker 13 Look like hands to me.

Speaker 25 I'm like, yo, this motherfucker's smart.

Speaker 18 Holy shit, he's imitating people. See, yeah, you don't, if you don't know that the croc's in there, you might think that's a human.

Speaker 26 I bet there's some weird hands on that motherfucker.

Speaker 13 I know, shit.

Speaker 18 I might think it's a human and jump in.

Speaker 13 Really?

Speaker 18 I might be like, it's a kid in there. Like, if I didn't know there were crocs in there, that is so crazy.
I would think it's like a kid or a severely disfigured.

Speaker 23 This must have happened, by the way,

Speaker 60 a few times.

Speaker 29 Like, look at that. That looks like a hand.

Speaker 13 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 29 Oh, no.

Speaker 38 Oopsie.

Speaker 32 Croc's like, dumb motherfucker.

Speaker 71 Yeah.

Speaker 24 Yeah.

Speaker 41 I don't even understand how he got those five fingers.

Speaker 39 Like, what? What is that?

Speaker 25 Fuck. I don't know, man.

Speaker 33 What on a crock could look like that?

Speaker 40 Those are crock paws.

Speaker 2 The crock paw has the same mentality as those Thai Thai people.

Speaker 97 Look at the fat man jump in the water.

Speaker 97 We eat you now, fatty.

Speaker 53 Oh, come here.

Speaker 13 Okay, that's it.

Speaker 18 Yeah, luring in the tourist.

Speaker 95 Ahoy there, Italia.

Speaker 95 I be hearing that somebody named John wanted to give you a little message.

Speaker 95 Our matey, the sea be vast, but every day we have a chance to chart the course worth of remembering.

Speaker 95 I be grateful that our ships be crossing,

Speaker 95 but not for all treasures maybe of gold.

Speaker 13 Okay.

Speaker 1 She sounds like she comes from the Burt School of Impressions.

Speaker 6 He does similar accents.

Speaker 13 Yeah.

Speaker 18 I've never heard him do an accent.

Speaker 30 Oh, that's really bad.

Speaker 95 It's the people that you'll be meeting.

Speaker 6 How is this a fucking four-minute video?

Speaker 52 How long this bitch talks like this for this long?

Speaker 50 She's from retarded ireland okay different country

Speaker 41 oh my god please so it's so long

Speaker 46 thanks a lot for that real nice treat you really appreciate it i thought you'd like her

Speaker 43 so uh bad thoughts comes out may 13th and um don't forget the two bears 5k is may 4th in tampa florida 5 000 miles i'm on tour thompsogir.com slash tour for tickets buy my lip shits lip shits are on sale for Christine.

Speaker 18 My eyeglasses are so dirty every time I put them on. Just film.

Speaker 13 That was a horrible video.

Speaker 18 I need new ones. My prescription is up.

Speaker 2 Thank you guys for watching.

Speaker 9 Thank you for listening. And we'll see you next week.

Speaker 18 Hi, mommy.

Speaker 43 Speaking of cocks,

Speaker 13 how you feeling about this? You like those uncircumcised cocks, as I recall? Sure, sure.

Speaker 13 Beautiful dip. Taste good.

Speaker 13 Got it coming those balls.

Speaker 14 I'm a stupid question.

Speaker 14 What's coming in those balls?

Speaker 67 Yeah, you like uncircumcised guys, as I recall.

Speaker 16 Olivia loves a challenge.

Speaker 94 It's why she lifts heavy weights

Speaker 16 and likes complicated recipes.

Speaker 16 But for booking her trip to Paris, Olivia chose the easy way with Expedia. She bundled her flight with a hotel to save more.
Of course, she still climbed all 674 steps to the top of the Ivy Tower.

Speaker 16 You were made to take the easy route. We were made to easily package your trip.
Expedia, made to travel. Flight-inclusive packages are at all protected.

Tom Has Some BAD THOUGHTS | Your Mom's House Ep. 808

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