Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803

week on Friday, April 4th, I'll be in Oklahoma City at the Paycom Center. Go get your tickets at tomscura.com slash tour.

Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

It's 7v7 soccer. Smaller the pitch, faster the action.

The world's elite soccer clubs compete for their share of a massive $5 million prize. Catch World Sevens on TNT, True TV, and HBO Max, December 5th through the 7th.
Welcome to another episode.

This is a really exciting day.

I'm pumped about this one. So am I.
I'm feeling healthier. I'm feeling alive and alert.
How about you? Feeling good. Get that timer going, please.
Get that timer. Well, Josh Solo isn't here today.

Josh, yeah.

What's he doing? Jew stuff.

Is today a Jewish holiday? No.

Did we sanction this? He's in Judork Titty. Oh, is he? He is.
He's doing his thing. What is he doing there?

You know how they love that place.

They do love that place.

So he's there. They do love that place.
Doing his thing. Stuff like that.
100% culture.

For sure.

He's there.

I don't know. Checking out fucking interest rates or something.
But he'll be back. He'll do his thing.
Banking industry.

Yeah.

They control it all. Yeah, they sure do.
It's so funny. The weather, all of it.
Of course, Jews control the weather and the aliens. It's wild, dude.
You didn't know that.

Yeah, there's so many naive people out there who don't understand how this works. Well, the problem is they're not doing their own research.
I got to do my own research.

You've got to get online and do your own research. I'm not just indoctrinated by the state.

This fucking round earth shit that all you peons believe in. Blue.
Oh, yeah. We rotate around the sun.
Fucking idiot. Yeah, prove it.

Prove it. How come when I'm flying,

how come I don't see a big curve? That's right, Tom. I'm sitting up there and I'm like, oh, where's the big curve? It's because it's not.
Yeah, stupid. You people are so.
Why come

when I go to the beaches and you look out there? Water's fucking flat, bro. It's all the way through.
It ain't curved, right, dummy? There you go. Stupid.
Do your own research. Do your research.

Do your own research. Yeah.
What the fuck does that even mean? Personal research. Hitler was pretty chill.
He's a cool guy. Yeah.
I'd like to fish with him. I really would.

I really would. Dude, your beard is growing back at such a rapid pace.
It's kind of freakish. You're like a werewolf.
Yeah. It's coming in.

Your touch, you're fingering my lipsticks. Is that because you miss wearing?

They don't want to hear that. Nobody wants to hear your beard flakes.
I think I'll be, what, I'll be at a week and a couple days. Yeah.
I'll be okay. Guys, buy my perfect red.

Buy my Berlin, my Madison, my Atomic Red at ChristinaP.com. Tom wore my lipstick.
How did it feel? It was perfect.

Pervor.

How did it feel? I'm being serious. It's a very luxurious product, no? Yeah, it is.
It feels very smooth. That's true.
You know why?

A lot of red lipsticks or highly pigmented lipsticks take the moisture out of your lip and then the next day you're just like, oh, dry. Were your lips dry the next day? No.
No.

My favorite thing that I saw

from

the live show and me being in that makeup for Robert Smith was somebody being like, this is the Illuminati got to him. Oh, the gothic Illuminati.
Yeah, because you had me wearing makeup.

They're like, this is exactly what Cat Williams was talking about. Satanic?

It's satanic. Well, Obama with his flag and the three stripes.
I sold my soul.

Hilarious. Comedians, just by the way, just so you guys know,

stand-up comics particularly,

we're nowhere near Illuminati, okay? That's not us.

We're the lowest on the show business total ball. No, nobody talks to us.

Nobody cares.

Do anything.

That's not us. That's the music business, guys.
Actors do crazy stuff. We don't do shit.
We're on the other end. We get the demons out, okay? So we don't need to do crazy stuff like that.

That's very true. Um, my stepsister, she texted and she was like, Oh my god, you finally met Robert Smith? No, because she saw it on Instagram.
I'm like, dip shit,

yeah, she bought it, she bought it. Oh, my god, she's not, this is my youngest one, she's not very bright.
Oh, okay, whatever, she's sweet, though.

And you're right, that's not, I was like, hey, dummy, that's my husband, that's Tom. She's like, oh my god, alfalvara, alfalvara.

I got some pretty cool stuff to show you. Okay.
So let's get into this. Okay.
Here we go. All right.

You fucked idiot. Literally, this is not comedy.
Don't laugh. Cause if you fit any of this shit, fuck you.
That's what you're saying to yourself in the mirror. Fuck you.
I don't care about you.

This is someone who's calling you up.

Yeah.

Who is Randy? I like this. Don't bring anyone motherfucking the fucking money.

Mousers.

with Tom Segura Mom Sagura and Christina Plazitz and Christina

That was cool.

This is a new lane that's really blown up in my algorithm, which is the,

it's always a guy who's like a business coach. He's, he's like really into,

like, you got to follow what I do. And they're almost always the same.
They're usually like pretty jacked on a lot of TRT.

They usually have a pretty red hue to their skin.

Their vocabulary, even in business stuff, includes a lot of cursing.

And they charge people and they're basically like,

I have a hot girl. I have a crazy car.
I live in a nice place. The fuck are you doing, you fucking loser?

And sign up with my thing, and then I can, you'll be like me.

That's like the baseline of it. So, this guy is named Wes Watson, he's a personal branding blueprint guy.
He claims that he helps people go from making their

thousand a month to three million a month. Oh, wow.
And the class on the cost end goes on the low end about $300 a month, and on the highest class, is about $3,000 a month. Oh, shit.

And here he's flipping out on people at a conference because someone asked why he's such an asshole.

This is someone who's calling you up.

Okay, so this, I don't know, eventually this is gonna lead to money.

There's so many guys like this now. My whole algorithm is just these guys.
People look at me as soon as they walk in and they're like, who is this guy? Who is this guy? Who is this guy?

I don't think I'm going to hurt somebody. No, you don't.
I don't look like I walk into a place and I'm just coming to have a good time. I'm coming to eat lunch.
When I walk in, it's like I'm literally

a rabbi's son. Like, that's what you look like.
Yeah, I'm not afraid. So, no one's

what's the haircut? That's an interesting haircut. He's got a lot of stuff.
People look at me as soon as I walk in and they're like, Who is this guy? Who is this guy?

Is this a garden gnome? Like, what? Why? Who's asking me? I don't look like I walk into a place and I'm just coming to have a good time. I'm coming to eat lunch.

When I walk in, it's like I'm literally going to hurt somebody. Okay.
No, I don't read that. Nobody reads that.
He wants to be that guy. Yeah.
He's hoping people see him that way. Yeah.

But I think he looks sweet with his little beard. His cute little beard.
Yeah, and his little glasses and

his sweet little Hitler haircut. Look at that.
Yeah. He's got a side part like Hitley.
Yeah. And then it's this long.
Yeah, I don't know what's going on with these guys, but

it's a really big lane now.

Then there's even weirder guys like this fucking guy. You still don't understand who I am

and why I was born. Uh-huh.

You cannot break me.

Okay.

Once again,

I will break you. Amazing.
All hell king.

You know, I have a feeling. You don't usually see a muffin top like that.

No, and he had tits. He had really nice jigglers.
I'm jealous. Yeah.
His tits are nicer than mine right now.

I hate, you know, I'm thinking Andrew Tate is the OG. He is kind of the OG.
He's the prototype for this. But he's legit that guy.

You know what I mean? Andrew was a fighter. He's an entrepreneur.
He's fit. He wears the suits.

These guys are like, oh, I want to be that guy, maybe? They prey on. The thing is, they just prey on.
Like, this last guy is definitely autistic, but the other guys,

they do,

he's so out of his mind.

He's like, he's, he's a fancy trainer. You know what I mean?

He's out of his mind. He's fancy trainer.

He's not. Yeah.
This is not a real thing. No.
He's completely delusional. The other guys, though, they make money, but they make it just like preying on somebody who's like, I want to make more money.

And they're like, no shit. The whole thing is that you're a bitch, dude.
You got to get your shit right. You know,

stupid. stupid.
Yeah. And they just

so nuts. Like, well, it's also,

you're making that guy rich because, like, give me $3,000 and I'll make you a guy. You don't have any money? I can't really help you.
Yeah.

Sometimes, so there's like these conferences. There's also like, let me just show you like another one where it's like,

these are alphas. Yeah, yeah.

And they're alphas.

They're like, they're getting people to sign up for this shit. And then they're saying things like this, which is, hey, come here.

Dude, I just fired a client that has paid me over $100,000 and pays me about $20,000 a month. I fired him intentionally.

And we were literally just staying in their business relationship with them for money.

So I called him up and I said, Hey, I'm going to shred our revenue share agreement and you're just going to do you and we're going to do us. And he's like, What do you mean?

I'm like, Dude, you're not a good guy. You're not like us.
So, like, I got to spend this time somewhere better for me. And so do you.
Go build your own agencies. Cool.
We'll be all right.

So, like, fire clients if they don't align with the core value. Hell yeah, dude.
Yeah. I me know what's up.
For sure. That's a total business 101 thing.

If it's not a good guy, then definitely don't take his money. For sure.
Just be like, are you good? Are you a nice guy? Because that's who we do business.

That's all that matters is if you're a good dude. Yeah, that's it.
That's how Showbiz runs. Are you a good person?

The way that he's rubbing his arm just tells me how he made that up on the spot.

And so

that's just something that I did.

No, you didn't, dude. You did not do that.

That's so

fucking full of shit that's not and then you get these guys all together which is another one and think of this think about like how

like you sat here with mark cuban yeah you know we've met other really successful business people and just the the way that they communicate and then check this out yeah we have a fabrication company out in texas and we had these go green guys that wanted to come in and buy it so we go to this fucking high-rise down in houston they all got 600 shoots so we go into the room it's a dog and pony show so what do you do where's your background i start out first, kind of tell him a little background.

By the time it gets to this motherfucker, he goes, Here's the thing: I'm here for one fucking thing. It's fucking money.
I'm not going to give you no fucking bullshit.

I don't give a fuck if you guys are Go Green. I drive a fucking diesel pickup truck.
I'm not trying to save the fucking world. Don't ask me about my kids.

I don't want to hear about your fucking kids either. We're here to take care of business for me.
You're wasting my motherfucking time. So if you want to do business, we can do that.

But I'm not fucking going to go

and tell you about my fucking story.

Hell yeah, dude. I just wish they'd take their dicks out and start jacking each other right there.
That was so cool. Everybody's dick is so hard right there, huh?

Do you realize that, like, we just gave you insight into some like really high-level business people?

And

you could be paying $3,000 a month for that, and we just gave it to you for free. Get in that fucking room.

Don't fucking, if you want to fuck around and hear some fucking shit about my fucking family, fuck that shit, motherfucker. I'm here to make fucking money.
And the guy's like, fuck yeah, bro.

I know. Is this the Edith Bozzitzki school? This is how my mother talks about it.

That would be her school. Oh, yeah.
I don't know about you, but I like keeping my money where I can see it. Unfortunately, traditional big wireless carriers also seem to like keeping my money too.

After years of overpaying for wireless, I finally got fed up from crazy high wireless bills, bogus fees, and free perks that actually cost more in the long run and switched to Mint Mobile.

And it was all because our own Enny. Enny was the guy who came in here being like, I'm saving money and I'm able to have more disposable income because I'm not paying these crazy wireless bills.

That's right. And now we use it for YMH Studios.
It's incredible. Say bye-bye to your overpriced wireless plans, jaw-dropping monthly bills, and unexpected overages.

Mint Mobile is here to rescue you with premium wireless plans starting at $15 a month. All plans come with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network.

If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at mintmobile.com slash mom.
That's mintmobile.com slash mom.

Upfront payment of $45 for three-month five gigabyte plan required equivalent to $15 a month.

New customers offer for first three months months only, then full price of plans of options available, taxes and fees, extra. CM Mobile for details.

Feeling like my best self means that I'm well rested and my energy levels are up. That's why I use bioactive complete multivitamin for men from LiveGood every day.

Since I started taking them, I've noticed feeling more rested, more centered, more balanced, and great browns. With LiveGood, I always feel like I'm at my best.
And what's better than that?

LiveGood believes that everyone deserves access to high-quality supplements without the insane markups they offer premium products formulated by an industry leading team of natural health experts and they cut out the middleman to sell them at the lowest prices anywhere they also have organic super greens multivitamins collagen weight loss products protein powder creatin detox hormone products skincare products all highest quality products at prices people can actually afford no wonder they're the fastest growing supplement brand on the planet with over 1.5 million customers and counting ready to make the switch and start saving?

We'll make it even easier for you. Use our link and you can save an additional 10% off your first order on top of the already lowest prices.

Just go to livegood.com slash YMH to save 10% on your first order. That's livegood.com slash YMH.
Don't miss out on this opportunity to invest in your health without overspending. Fucking

there's the main guy, like that guy that said he fired a client where he definitely lied. Oh, yeah.
That's what is so insane. He works for that guy in the white t-shirt that says his name.

And that's his name.

He's wearing, it's like the band wearing their t-shirt. He's wearing his own shirt.

And he's redder than Bert. Like he's on so much testosterone, this guy.
Is that what makes their faces red? Yeah. The T?

So flush. Yeah, yeah.

It's so high level in him. You're like, this is not a natural skin.
His whole thing is like, be fucking jacked. If you want to work for me, you got to be jacked.
Oh, yeah, I've seen those videos.

If you work here, we played those guys. That's it.
I love it. I love it.

But I have to say, I prefer this to like the sensitive ponytail guy vibe who lies to women and is like, you know, I've never received a blowjob.

Well, it's a different angle, it's just what angle do you like. Some people love this angle.
I prefer this because it's like masculine, you know. I'm into this, but it's faux masculine, it's

yes, they're they're overcompetent, wildly insecure guys, they're overcompetent because I hang out with alphas. I would say you and Joe and not Bert, but other men that are very strong men.

You hang out with, and you're in a male-dominated society culture, business. That's correct.
You're always around like, yeah. The guys that you think are like this in private are not like this at all.

They're very tempered. They're very...
The funny thing is, these guys who talk like this, they think that the most successful guys that are like way more successful than them are doing this.

Fuck you, dude. Fuck that guy.
Like in their mind, that's what a really powerful guy is like. It's very Gordon Gecko.

Was that his name? Yeah. Wall Street.
Yeah, it's very Wolf of Wall Street, like douchebag. That's so funny because I like that.

Your bullshit meter just, I mean, for me personally, just fires off

so high. You watch a guy like this and you're like, huh? No.
What is this? What are you doing? No. Why are you posturing like this? I know.
And if you've got time.

You're gonna make fucking money, motherfucker. You're like, huh?

Especially if you've got time to have this much of an entourage and like like a school of dudes with you. Like, what are you doing? You don't need 10 guys in your plane

to get a deal done. There's either 10 guys in your plane.

By the way, it's just

one of those sets. This could be a TV set

where like influencers go to shoot their Instagram. The giveaway is usually the audio, you know.
I'm here for one fucking thing. It's fucking money.
I'm not going to give you no fucking bullshit.

And I could be flying.

He also was probably like, all right, we've got to split this 15 ways. Yeah.

Everybody give up $1,000. That's what you give me

for sure. Because that's a ton of people on a private jet.
It is.

And the weight, do they even allow this many people? Two, three, four,

five. Anyone allow this many people? Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.
Yeah, there's at least twelve. The flight attendant, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen.
Yeah, it's a lot of people.

It's too weighted. It's too weighted.

It's max capacity, right? He was like, you guys can come, but no luggage. All right.
Just fucking just put everything in your pockets that day. And no catering.
There's no way. No.

These guys are basically sitting on each other's laps, literally.

On the bench seat. I don't know any fucking gay shit, but you can fucking sit over here if you want.

Yeah. This is insane.
We got to have someone go to these. Can we send Tanner? Tanner, you want to go to

Andy Elliott Business School? Go be a man, damn it.

He learned that.

And you go and you're like, look, I got some of my testosterone up. I go into a men's retreat.
And then you're like, like, what? And he'd just be like, now I want to sell more stuff.

He's like, okay.

Fuck yeah, dude. You have to wear the Elliot shirt.
There's a guy. The t-shirt is like...
The t-shirt's insane. The t-shirt's so weird.

There's a phone call out there where a guy is calling Andy's school.

And the guy's like, all right, if you want to do this program, it's like 20 grand. And he's like, what do you get for that?

He's like, You know, you get like you get one-on-one time, you get to like bro, bro, bro him up, like, bro, hug him. And he's like, What?

Yeah, you know, like, bro, dap him up and like give him a hug and shit. Yeah, he's like, Oh, okay, 20 grand.
Yeah, it's insane, wild. It's like, and I,

and then, oh, and then it's a prank. So, the guy calling is like, oh shit, I just found out like my grandmother died.

He's like, oh, fuck.

Um, the guy's like, you still got that credit card info? He's like, Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then he leaves off one number, and the guy's like, Hey, hold on, but I need to get all the info.

It's really Tanner, where is the school? We gotta send him.

Are you ready to learn how to be a fucking baller? Are you ready for that, Tanner?

I'm born ready, man. If I can drink Shivambu, I think I can roll with these dogs, you know? Definitely, dude.
I can roll with these boys any day.

Can you imagine, like, even wrap your head around how masculine you'll come back if you go to masculine and rich? It would be crazy. Yes.

Yes. I think I can get them to drink piss too.

I really think I can. Please find out what are the different tiers.
And then what we'll do is, yeah, pricing. And I think we should start you at the very bottom.

And then, you know, we'll see how your income is affected. And if you're actually doing.

And I think the thing that they probably get you to do is find out if you're good at selling. that program to somebody else.

It's a pyramid scheme. Yeah, they're like, so you give it this.
Sell it to someone someone else.

Can women join? No. It's not for girls.
Is it only men? Is it really? I mean, like, that's pretty much their language they use is like, come, come be masculine, come be a dude. There's no like chick.

I mean, we could start a chick school. Not even lesbian school.
Oh, yeah, we could do lesbian school.

Why don't we do that? Rich lesbians.

I would love to do that. There's power Lesis that

there's tons of cool stuff. That'd be awesome.
That would be so rad. Dude, I would go to a power Lesi seminar.
Yeah. Those bitches know what's up.

They're not constrained, confined by the patriarchy standards of beauty or behavior, anything. No, not at all.
I love that stuff. But I want to be.
I wish I were a lesbian.

I want to be a fucking badass motherfucker who doesn't take a shit. That's how the tanner will come back.
What's up, motherfuckers?

That's the best. Sweet Tanner.

Yeah.

Check out this wad of cash in my fucking pocket right now. Yeah.

So cool. All right.
Research.

You're doing it. Research.

What's involved? I really want to send you. I so want to send you.
Yeah, man. Can I just praise you for a moment, by the way? Speaking of positive male energy.
Praise me? Yes. Okay.

A while ago, I was at my hardcore weightlifting gym, my masculine energy gym where actual real dudes lift. Yeah.
And I finally got to meet face-to-face Brigham Bueller. Oh, from Ways to Well.
Yes.

He's been on Joe's show.

Everybody knows him in Texas. He's great.
He's great. He's amazing.
He's such a great, you know, entrepreneur. Yeah.
And he's also very fit, too.

So anyway, we ran into each other at the gym, and I just wanted to pass along a really nice compliment he gave you. He goes, you know, Tom has gotten into such amazing shape.

And the fact that he does it on the road is incredible. Like, how is he even doing that? And I was like, well, he's very dedicated.

You know, when he lands in a city, he goes to work out like you're on a very strict thing and he was very complimentary of you and your dedication to sparkle motion well that's really nice thank you that's nice um I love that guy he's really really great and that company what they do um he's he's like a really positive you know, like well-intentioned guy.

He's seen the inside, the dark side of like healthcare. And he's always just, he's just a natural like trying to help people.
Like he really is just like, what's going on? and how can I help?

And I see them like that with everybody. Like, let me help this person out.
And then, does he, is he like, are you fucking lifting, bro? He's like, bro, not fucking words. He's like, what the fuck?

Your protein intake is bullshit. Your fucking T-levels.
What are you, a chick? Fucking step it up. Yeah, he's like, give me $3,000.
I'll make you rich.

Give me some money and I'll fucking get your dick to grow.

Cool, man. Yeah.
No, he's great. He's great.
That whole team is great. The whole Roastable team there, good.

But, I mean, also, it's kind of an appropriate discussion for our guest that's going to be coming in today, fitness and stuff. I mean, it is an appropriate.

I've been holding on to that topic for so long. Before our guest shows up, can you please show the Ilaria Baldwin clip that I sent him this morning? I'm dying to get into this.

So, as you guys know, she's got a TLC show with her husband and her 10 million children. We've had obviously,

you know, clips of them in the past. And, like, she famously is, you know, she's this Boston-born girl who spent time in Spain and then kind of adopted that difficulty with English sometimes.

She's transracial. Right.
And it's cool that we live in a time where you can just pick whatever you want to be. I think she really likes being Latin.

She just likes it. She likes it.
It's fine. So anyway, there's this clip I got sent today of her and Alec in a fight.

And apparently, when Ilaria, Hillary, gets fired up, she tends to pick up her Spanish cadence which is the opposite of everyone on earth because what happens to most people is you are if you're speaking any language and you actually get emotional you revert to your mother tongue oh because that's what comes out of you is like but that's what she does she forgets her native language but it's very strange to be emotional right and and gravitate towards your second language but tom is it possible her soul is Latin?

Yeah. Maybe she is

Hispanic. Yeah.
Sorry. I always goof that up with you people.
I know.

When you think about businesses that are selling through the roof, like Gymshark or Mattel, sure, you think about a great product, a cool brand, and brilliant marketing, but an often overlooked secret is actually the businesses behind the business making selling and for shoppers buying simple.

For millions of businesses, that business is Shopify.

Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet and the not-so-secret secret with ShopPay that boosts conversions up to 50%,

meaning way less carts are going abandoned and way more sales going a tang.

So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling.

On the web, in your store, in the feed, and everywhere in between businesses that sell more, sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout Gymshark or Mattel uses.

Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com/slash momshouse. All lowercase.
Go to shopify.com/slash momshouse to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com/slash momshouse.

Raynex wipers are the number one wiper blades in America. That means all kinds of drivers choose Raynex.
Big drivers and small cars choose Raynex. Small drivers and big cars choose Raynex.

Drivers with long hair and short commutes choose Raynex. Drivers with short hair and long commutes choose Raynex.
Drivers with pets on board, babies on board, and bored babies on board choose Raynex.

Basically, drivers who love a clear view of the road all choose Raynex wipers. The number one wiper blades in America.

I know. What do you mean by? What do you mean you people? You know what I fucking mean.
Here, here she is. Yeah, let's watch it.
Go ahead.

So, yes, I agree that that's your reality of it. But what I used to do is I would say yes, and then I would do whatever I wanted, and I would would just keep it from you.
You gaslight me. No, no.

Okay, hold on.

After my first marriage, I said, let's have a prenup. I want to think about that.

No, no. First of all, I still don't understand quite what a prenu.
It is awkward. But I don't actually quite understand what a prenup is because you're like, after a certain number of kids, it's this.

And I was like, you know what? I'll just sign it, which was probably very stupid of me back then. Now I'll read it again.
But like, I just said I will sign it.

I don't really want to think about the end by the beginning. And then you were like, yeah, I don't want to do it.
Let's talk slowly.

You're speaking English in a Spanish cadence, which is always perilous for me. Slow down is the kiss.
I can't understand you.

That's hilarious. That's probably the greatest line.
Slow down a kiss. That's also how a father talks to his daughter.
A hundred thousand percent.

Sweetie. Slow down a kiss.
Jesus. You know, when you get like this, I can't understand you.

Very emotional. But you can see her turn.

You're speaking English in a Spanish cadence, which is always perilous for me.

What a great voice that Alec has. It's fantastic.
It's God-given. Like, you just can't train for that voice.
It's fantastic. He needs to do every voiceover on everything ever.

I think that's what I've been doing. He's so talented.
He really is. I would love to hear his voice, like in the subway or his voice in the airplane.
How is it not an option for our phones?

Is it an option? Can we have Alex Baldwin just. God, I would love that.
Hey, you have a text message.

Make it right here. I think it's got to be.
It's got to be, right? Let them children.

Let them do it. I know.
Let him be my Siri voice. This is, yeah, it's hilarious.

Yeah.

Yeah, and all the kids are like, Rocco,

cua Miguel, Rafael, Rafa. Yeah.
Do you, so you're, you're a Spanish speaker. Her Spanish, like, you always tell me if they speak it well or not.

Does she have a great Spanish accent or just like an okay one? Yeah, really good. She really is.
So she's, she's meant to be

Hispanic, as you say. Yeah, well, she learned in Spain and she speaks like a Spaniard.
Yeah. Yeah.
Is she Catalan? What is she doing? No, no. I mean, no, it's just Castilian.
Castellano.

But yeah, she speaks like a

native Spanish speaker. She speaks really good Spanish.
That's impressive. So maybe that's her thing, you know? She's like, I do think that

her family really, Spain became their adopted second home. So they're very immersed in it, you know? Yeah, I think her parents moved there at retirement is what it was.
And she spent time.

A lot of time there. And she just loved it.
Yeah. She liked it.
She liked it. But I think what

I think the problem was when she kind of she started out claiming to be Spanish when she started dating Alex. That was a weird thing.
Well, yeah. I mean, because her name's Hillary.
Yeah. Yeah.

It's weird for an adult to go, you know, like it'd be like if I'm like, my name is Tomaso. I know.
And she didn't think that people could like check her work.

Like journalists are going to check and see, oh, are you really Spanish? They're not going to, if you're not famous, but if you fucking are with a famous person, they're going to figure it out.

They're going to figure you out. Yeah, she could have sold that bullshit if she was just married to Alec the fucking plumber.
Of course. Everyone would would be like, oh, your wife's from Spain.

And they would probably just be like, yeah. No one would care.
She should, yeah. She could just move to like a small town and just be Ilaria as much as she wanted.

If she moved to like Iowa, then she could bellow the ball. You know, no, not in, not in Judor Titties.
She is of English, French, Canadian, German, Irish, and Slavic descent.

She was born and raised in Boston. Slovak.
Yeah.

Slavic. Slovak.
Her agency's website listed her birthplace as Majorca, which is hilarious.

That's not true. No, it's just, that's definitely not true.
Yeah.

Wow.

She has also heard mistaken statements that she was half Spanish. Yeah, she's not Spanish by ethnicity at all.
She really wants to be.

I've never known somebody that really wanted to be Spanish.

I've never known someone. I think there's this thing of like people just,

if you have a certain genetic or ethnic background, you always like there's things that people just go, that's sexier, right? Being

French, being Italian, being Spanish, being Portuguese. Like, those are like the love places and they're, they're sexier.
The languages are cool.

People are always like, oh, speak, you know, say that again. Like,

so there's just this thing if you're like, I'm a Boston chick with German, whatever, Slovak

descent. You're just like, I'm a Spaniard.
That's so true because growing up, I was so embarrassed to be Hungarian because it's not a cool European.

So I used to wish I were English or anything French, German. I had the same thing too, where it was like, I had a Latin mother but it's not the cool country everyone's like Peru

Does your mom have a basket on her head? And you're like yeah

Yeah, it's not a cool one fucking llama it's not one of the sexy norms no it's where what Latin did you want to be just I mean

the so everyone when I was a kid Colombia was cool because it was violent So that would have been for a boy that would have been like yeah, you know Colombian there's fucking Escobars down there and everyone would have been like that's fucking that's cool um yeah Colombian's kind of hard yeah that's Venezuela was kind of cool Venezuela always had always had multiple women in this miss universe so it was like a sexy place like they were you know I mean attractive people um

you know the Argentines were always the aloof kind of arrogant ones yeah they're like the white yeah they're they're the white latins and so I was always like that's pretty fucking cool and then

yeah,

I don't know. It's kind of like,

you know, those were the ones that, because I was also very into South America. I wasn't like really into, you know, I don't have any, I didn't have a reference for Central America.

And the Caribbean, I was always like, that's like fucking Alabama, you know.

It is. Yeah.
It's too far out there. Yeah.
You're not a part of that. I used to want to be German because my grandmother was born there.

Like I have German roots. And that language is a little more common.
Yeah. It's so hard to, Nobody speaks Hungarian.
This is terrible. The German.
Gosh, that would have been.

Yeah, you're a real outlier out there. I know.
It sucked. And then, you know, in the 80s, we were at war with Russia.
So everyone thought we were Russians.

I'm like, I'm not a fucking dirty Russian, okay? I'm not a filthy brewski.

Get that shit out of your mouth. Get that shit out of your head, man.

Talk to me.

The dog is being good. Let's take a quick break.
Look how small my hands are. So petite.
She's just a little thing.

Yeah, let's go. All right.
We'll be right back.

And we are back with a tech entrepreneur, venture capitalist, biohacker known for his attempt at reversing aging.

He's the founder of Blueprint, a health optimization company where he's both the creator and test subject. He's going to try to live to 380 years old.
It's Brian Johnson, everybody. Welcome here.

Better known as fucking Brian. Fucking Brian.
Fucking hero. Fucking Brian.

Yeah, the documentary on Netflix called Don't Die. It's really well done.
It's really well done. And we have cameos in it.
Yeah, you do. Yeah.
You play a big role in it, actually. You think so? Yeah.

Being the detractors, people who are like this.

Fucking die.

You have the thick skin of a comic, though, because

we are always shit on by people and you just kind of go like, yeah, whatever. Yeah.
But you just kind of get it. You get, well, you're doing something extreme.

And when somebody does something new and extreme, there's always got to be a a voice of like, what the fuck is this? That's right. And that's kind of what's happening with you in a way.
Yeah.

And by the way, you in this documentary, when they show old you, you are

unrecognized. Like, it is literally like two completely different people.
Like, I have, you know, old videos and footage where I look different, like I lost weight.

But you look like it's a, it's another person was born. It's dramatic.
Yeah. Like almost every six months, I feel like I've become a different human now.
The speed of change.

Like, if you look at my pictures over the past three years,

yeah.

That's different humans. Crazy, dude.

Really crazy. That's wild, bro.
Yeah, I mean, the guy in the far left there, I'd be like, was that your cousin?

Yeah, it's true. Well, what is it? Because you're leaning out.
There's like no body fat on you. We know you're not.
What's your body fat at? What's your level? Probably 10%. 9, 10%.

There's so much to get into.

I mean, obviously, the documentary goes through your daily protocol yeah which i think it's fair to say it's it's pretty extreme like it's not chill yeah that's right yeah that's right yeah yeah um i mean you do some things that i think are very

um

almost like a a given for a healthy living which is of course in avoiding certain foods like

sugar and fried foods junk food um i mean we could start with your morning routine which is that you get up what 4 35?

yeah i go to bed at 8 30 yeah 8 30 yeah so the way to think about the morning routine or I guess the entire routine is if you say life expectancy is 77 you know that's what we have on average then you can take that number and divide it by three by days you're gonna live and just calculate a die per day right so you die a little bit every single day right and so then you can say what things accelerate that rate of death you can say smoking would do that and drinking may, you know, and not getting good sleep.

All those things reduce you. Exactly.
And then you say what things actually increase that possibility. You extend that.
Sleep well and eat well and don't consume toxins and stuff like that.

And so what we tried to do is we tried to say, we're going to look at my body at a molecular level.

We're going to figure out every single thing that causes me to die and every single thing that causes me to reduce that speed and actually regenerate. And so that's what my warning machine is.

It's just like a mathematical equation of how do you actually stop that molecular death process in every way possible. And so it's really just a very...

But between the food and the eating and the supplements, which are, I mean, countless, hundreds of pills a day, this, this focus on all these, why, like, why the obsession, you think?

Because it is like, I think it's almost fair to say it's an obsession. So it's actually,

I'll give you a historical analogy. So imagine if you exist in 1870,

and there's a new idea roaming around town, and it's this person saying that there are these microscopic objects called bacteria that cause infection.

And there's one doctor who's washing their hands in between surgeries. And everyone else is kind of like, that's stupid.

You're slowing down the process. So like if you're a person that's, if you're delivering a baby or you're getting surgery, you want to know if that thing is true or not.

Because if you step in the wrong line, you might lose your life. Yeah.
And so that ended up being true.

that you know bacteria does exist it does increase the risk of death and so i want to suggest there's a new idea right now that's floating around town and that is that we may be the first generation who won't die You really believe in actually,

I didn't realize that it's not just extending life. You mean like it's possible that people could live forever? To halt the cellular decay of the organs and everything.

And are you successfully halting decay right now? So in some degrees I am. So I guess in first I'll say that I don't think the things I'm doing now have a path to immortality.

What I'm saying is if you look at the progress of AI and you just say, okay, so things that have happened in the past that have doubled lifespan, let's just say it's back, it's antibiotics and hygiene practices and like end-of-life care for cancer, stuff like that.

That's successfully doubled lifespan over the past few decades or past century. And so people who have done those things have been just really smart people.
They've discovered things, invented things.

And now with AI, you basically have like a billion new human geniuses working on problems. And then assume you're going to have a trillion new billion level human geniuses working on problems.

And so as you get more intelligence working on really hard problems, the speed at which you're going to solve problems is going to increase.

And so if you just simply do a basic probability of like how fast do we think we can solve these basic things of aging, just say you solve 2% per year over the next few years, right?

You start making a pretty big dent. So for example, even the things I'm doing now, my speed of aging is

0.48, which means my birthday happens every 24 months.

So I've dramatically slowed down my speed of aging, which means disease progression is substantially less, less, right? All bad things are less.

And so, yeah, so basically, what I'm saying is, this is the big idea happening right now in the world:

we may be the first generation to not die. And it's the first time in human history that is something anybody could say with a straight face.

Before, it's just been like this irony thing played out where someone tries to do it and they die some humorous death. Sure.
It's real now. Now, do you think, though, that

even that being said, you being able to do this, it takes such a crazy amount of effort and obviously resources and everything that it's only something applicable to somebody kind of in your

tax bracket and with the time to like can can a regular person get a piece of this yeah without committing the way you've committed yeah absolutely that's the cool thing so we've i've tried to go to the absolute extreme because i'm trying to make a point i'm trying to say what can science do and i'm trying to be the the performance art of like what does don't i look like in action but you can actually do just like 80 you know 20 of what I do and get 80% of the benefits.

So just getting the basics right and sleep and exercise and diet gets you the majority of the things I get. So what's the diet? Because you are vegan.
So why that? Yeah, I'm plant-based.

So what we did is we basically crawled through, the reason why it cost me millions of dollars is we crawled through all the scientific evidence ever published on Healthspan Lespan.

We just said, like, what does the evidence say? Instead of storytelling, an antidote. And that costs money.
Yeah, I mean, that's really, you have to look through every single study.

You say, do you believe this evidence? Like, is this, you know, on what was the study design? Like, all these different ways to assess the credibility.

And then say, do we think we're going to implement this? So we made a list of like the top 100 studies that help extend lifespan. And then we've been systematically implementing those in my life.

So what I do every day is basically a power law of all the best science ever.

What about the, there's a critical, there's, I mean, the.

documentary I give them credit, it's pretty balanced. You know, you hear voices of support, you hear criticisms.

So one of the critiques from I don't remember whom, was like, well, how can, what about the idea of you funding this research in science on a larger level?

I mean, does that, has that ever appealed to you? Doing trials and stuff. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, so the

what I'm trying to do is, so if we say

putting a million dollars into anti-aging research produces some kind of outcome, then if I try to do it, let's say I could put in a hundred million or 200 million or 500 million.

What I want is I want a trillion dollars to be invested in anti-aging. And the way you do that is you convince the human race that we are the first generation that won't die.

If you become convinced, right, and you turn everybody on that mark. So what I'm trying to do is leverage my resources to get a trillion dollars along this path.

And just like as a species, this is the biggest moment we've had ever. Do you judge

billionaires like Carlos

Slim and Bill Gates and Elon Musk for being like doughy and out of shape? I mean,

isn't it unforgivable? It is unforgivable.

So if you think about it, like the game they're playing, right? It's basically 20th century heroism, which means that you basically are playing wealth accumulation,

power accumulation. And so that you win by doing, by maximizing that number.
And so you do so at the cost of your health, because if you're going to die anyways, like what does it matter?

If you die at the age 50 or 60, but in glory instead of 70, 80 in a wheelchair what does it matter they're playing a 20th century glorification of accomplishment and what i'm suggesting is that's a 20th century game now if if you know if we're not going to die a different game is here and it's no longer about that one number maximization its existence is the highest virtue and so it breaks all previous models of like how do you achieve power status and prestige in society

yes because they're fat and it's not they're fat and they're not attractive and that's not cool yeah it's really also i I'm fucking eating, fatty.

I also love your facial regimen. Are you doing the vampire facial? Is that what I saw you doing? No.
In the dock?

Yeah, I did that once. Yeah.

But I don't do that regularly.

Yeah, the stuff we do. So two.
I guess, okay, three things. Creams mostly don't work.
I agree. Right? It's working.
Well, it works. Yeah, so.
Mostly devices.

So there's a technology I use called SoftWave. I just did it.
Yeah, instead of filler, it's

so good. Yes.

Did you buy the machine? I have one at the house, yeah. Oh, I gotta buy one.
Yeah, I'm doing

whole body.

Whole body. That's what's up.
Yeah, yeah. Seek height.
Yeah, thanks. That's what's up.
Yeah, right. So, where'd you have it done? In Los Angeles, my plastic surgeon.
Oh, on my face and neck. Yeah.

And did you? I just did it like two weeks ago. Yeah.
Yeah. So it's legit.
So it goes, it's ultrasound. It is 1.5 millimeters below the dermis.

And it does, yeah, it has on like a per millimeter cubed, it does like 25% collagen production. It's really good for collagen.
We're buying that. Yeah, your skin looks free.
Your skin looks amazing.

So no fillers anymore because I saw you, they were injecting you. Yeah.
I used to do fillers too. Oh, so it's actually, I don't do fillers.
That was, that was PRP.

So that was like blood from my body, and you spin it up, you separate plasma and blood, and you re- Yeah, so I don't do fillers. I thought you were doing fillers.
I'm like, this guy's a good idea.

When you did,

you went to Honduras in the documentary. Yeah.
And you got this one injection that you like, I think they mentioned that like it could be like a bodybuilding.

yeah gene therapy right but that particular one i forget the fullostatin did um what did you find any direct results of that particular thing did that do anything for you yeah uh we saw a seven percent increase in uh muscle mass from that yeah that's significant yeah it was big and then we actually measured my folostatin levels like so the idea is you put this

you inject this um Plasmid, it increases fullostatin expression, so you have higher levels, and higher levels, you know, has these additional benefits. And And so we measured, it actually did work.

It increased my fullestatin levels, increased my muscle mass. And then how long did it take to see that result in muscle mass? I think my measurement was like four or five months.

That's pretty significant. Yeah.
So

I assume that also meant you got stronger in that period?

I didn't do a test to see if I increased in strength. I just did an MRI looking at muscle mass.
And is that fullostatin, am I saying it right, fullostatin? Is that something you could only get there?

Is that why you went to do it? That's right. Cause it's not approved.
Yeah, they built it in Prosper because they have a different regulatory framework. Is it incredibly expensive?

It's $25,000. For the one injection? Yeah.

And is it something that, like they mentioned, it's a kind of fascinating aspect of it that this could alter someone's DNA, but at least in the documentary, they say that it's kind of revocable with the way they do it.

Yeah, exactly. So is your level now permanently higher? It was just a spike in the exactly.
Yeah.

It's like the, if you really want to punch through 120 years of age, you need some kind of gene therapy.

And so this is not. Are you going to fuck?

Are we there, dude? Are we there? I'm telling you, you guys, I'm telling you, don't die. Like, we are, we're there.

It's not obvious. It's like we don't have the things off the shelf right now, but like it's moving.
And I think in our lifespans, there's plenty of time to figure this out. And it feels like you're...

I feel like every month there's another possibility of something that you're discovering. So are you into some new wild shit right now? Yeah, we're doing we're doing

we're always doing new stuff. He's like, yeah.
Yeah, we're doing some exosomes on Monday when I'm back in LA. Some wild.
Yeah, exosomes. What's that? Yeah.
So

you've maybe heard of stem cells. Yes.
Yeah. So you do these kinds of

these treatments that have people have used them for all kinds of things. Like they use it for facials.

They've been trying to treat people with paralysis, like to rebuild spinal injuries. So they're used for this wide variety of things.

I used mesenchomyl stem cells, I did on my joints as an experimentation. So we're always, but like,

like

you really are a human lab brain.

Yeah. Aren't you afraid? Are you afraid you might inadvertently hurt yourself trying these things out?

We were really safe. So when we go through this process, like, so I would say this.
Oftentimes people suspect or suggest that I am somehow at greater risk. Yeah.

And I would suggest they are at greater risk because

we measure me so intensely. Yeah.
How often do you get your blood work done?

I mean, it depends on what we're doing, but you know, sometimes weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, I'm getting MRI scans all the time. We're doing like

we're doing microbiome, urine, like we're doing everything all the time. Do you drink your shivambu? What is that? Oh, man.
You're not even on this yet? Come on, man.

Tell me,

what am I missing? I'm a little bit of vitamins, minerals, oxytocin, and bonding hormone, which lowers cortisol.

So not only am I getting the benefit of the urine therapy, which is powerful on its own, the Shivambu, I should call it, but I'm also getting the benefit of the sperm, the semen, tiny bit of semen that's been mixed in with my urine.

What? Wow. Wow.
It's very, very potent. This guy is like something else.

This has to be comedy, no? No. No, he's not.
He's like 100%. No way.
100%. No way that's

a retreat that he gives. Yeah, he has like huge retreats.
He's in Canada. I swear to God.
Will Blenderfield. Yeah, yeah.
So he's consuming his urine and sperm.

Well, he's saying that there's a little bit of that that's coming into the urine. It's mostly about the urine.
Yeah. Yeah.
He's a big urine drinker. Yeah, like a uratini, like a urine and sperm.

However, look at his skin. Glowing.

I mean, he's in great health. He's 67.
Look at him.

But he is a healthy guy. He is a healthy guy.
Very lean. Have you tried marathons?

Have you tried? No, I measure my sperm weekly now, but weekly? Yeah, we just start doing that. Yeah.

What's the point of that? What is that?

Well, so like what we find out is when you measure these things weekly, you just find these really neat relationships with how things change.

So I've been measuring my, I've measured my sperm four times over the past four years, which is not enough.

So we need to see like what happens when, and then, you know, like when we have the LA fires, what happens when your body is filled with toxins? Does your sperm go down?

You know, like, does the motility go down? So we're just, every time we want to know more, we just increase the density of measurement. And then you start seeing all these relationships.

And you're seeing a change in your sperm count or just like in the

health of the sperm? Yeah, so you've got various metrics. Like you want to see total sperm count.
You want to see the motility of the sperm, like how many are swimmers.

Yeah, you want to see the DNA fragmentation index. That's kind of a disputed idea, but you want to characterize the sperm through various quantities.

And then you can, then you can decide an age to it. So everything we do always has an age.
So you can be, you know, I'm 47 years old, but like my

heart is 37. Oh, yeah.

My cardiovascular ability is age 18. My nighttime erections are age 18.

Are better than an average 18-year-old. What about your beanbag? Those sperm are pretty young too.

Well, speaking of sperm, your son is in the movie.

Talmatch? Yeah, that's right. Is that a Mormon name?

It's his great-grandfather's name, yeah. Okay.

Really lovely kid.

I think everybody who watched that doc like really enjoyed, you know, seeing him in it, seeing your guy's relationship.

And then it's clear that he's, I mean, appears to be like kind of following in your footsteps. So he might be like our, I mean, we'll be long gone, but he might be fucking 160 or something.

Tom, don't give up easily. Yeah.
Don't, yeah. You got to shift that mindset.
Okay. Oh, wow.
Right. So you're, you're really committed to this lifetime.
You're going to do it. You're this close.
So

I'm talking at South by Southwest on Thursday. Yeah.
And I want to give a talk about 10 reasons why death is dumb. I love it.
You're drinking liquid death.

I love liquid death. And I'm just saying.
It's soda. I'm just saying death is on.
Yeah. Right.
But

my life is so bizarre. I go around trying to convince people

and I'm called a fucking weirdo. Right.
Yeah.

But no, my talmaj is great.

You know, I have three kids. I, you know, I didn't really imagine that my child would become my best friend.
Yeah.

And we,

it's like he teases me. It's like sometimes he knows in my intonation when I say his name, he's like, ah, you're in dad mode.
Yeah, yeah. Right.

And like, I'm just going to command what he does and he does it no matter what happens. And other times, I'm, he's like my peer.
Sure.

And we're very much morphing into that kind of thing, but it's, it's like my favorite.

You seem, I mean, again, it's a documentary, but you guys seem to have a really cool bond. You guys are two peas in a pot.
We are.

Even your physicality, watching the two of you have chats and you're both working out and it's like, it's really nice, actually. You don't see that very often.

now you guys only took each other's plasma once that's right that's it yeah how did that go yeah did your father see benefits huge benefits really yeah oh like yeah gigantic so people don't realize that you guys maybe know this i did it because my father was experiencing cognitive decline yes yeah and so um honestly he he has turned his life around he's in his early 70s um exactly his friends his co-his co-workers are like rich what is happening like we do not understand you attribute it all to the plasma transfer part of it he's on blueprint as well, but that was a significant spike in his well-being.

And I suspect now it's been over a year, so the effects have to be wearing off, if not worn off entirely. But, I mean, it kick-started something in him that was really...

He did mesenchymal stem cells with me. He did the fullest statin gene therapy.
Are you a big peptide guy, too? I did that when I sprained my ankle. But not daily.

You're not daily into like BPC 157, and you don't do like the blue, what's it called, methylene? Methylene blue. We're going to start that next month.

Hey, I'm a big fan of of that. Cool.

Have you taken it? Yeah. And what's been your experience? A cognitive boost that you literally feel.

Like, I kind of call, you know how like sometimes, I mean, you're the way your body functions, I don't know if any of this is even relatable, but like sometimes you wake up and you get your day started and you have kind of like a fog.

Yeah. And for me, if I go right to workout, the workout knocks the fog off.
I feel like this methylene blue

does it even without that. Yeah.
And what's your dosage?

I get it in pill form. Yeah.
And I take two in the morning. Yeah.
I don't know what the milligrams or whatever are in it, but I'll look it up. Cool.
Yeah, we just did

our baseline test. We did three metabolic tests.

And we're going to see where my baseline levels are. Then we'll figure out the dose.
We're excited to try it. I'm a huge fan of it.

The other one that I just got on is a sleep peptide that it goes after what is the gland?

Pineal gland. Pineal gland.
Yeah. Dude.
Huh.

Game changer. Really?

Game changer. In what way? Well, I haven't been monitoring it, but my friend who was monitoring it,

his sleep was like, I'm getting two and a half hours more REM sleep, which is a substantial boost. And what I feel is that, A, I'm definitely sleeping deeper.
Yeah.

And in a practical term, I can tell you things like if I get up to pee or I just go, I go right back to bed.

If the kid, you know, our kids are young, if they come in the room, I either don't hear it like i don't it i don't pop up anymore or if i do it's like immediately back to sleep so that like that's how i can like describe the difference versus before taking it and i've been on it for like three weeks now and like i don't ever want to not have it interesting yeah yeah we um we've been looking at my pineal glands we did an mri and we are because as you age it uh calcifies and then it stops producing yeah i know that's scary it's scary and so then it stops produces melatonin which is why you supplement as you get older older.

And so we were looking at using this ultrasound technology to ablate it. So basically, can you use ultrasound and knock out the calcification? So you get back to it.
I wonder if

you're so in tune with how things affect you. If you would, if this peptide would be a real game changer for you.
Hold on, though. Can you break up the calcifications? So that was the theory.

So you can use ultrasound to ablate all kinds of things, stones and stuff like that. So it was just a repurposing of can you do a different part and can you do it in the brain?

So when you're in the brain, you want to be be very careful. So, we have these, I did one session.
We started with very low dose. So, we actually didn't complete the entire protocol.

I had to travel and never got back to it. But, yeah, this is the kind of technology where if you can, like, you can decalcify, maybe you can restore youthal function.
Yeah, maybe. It sounds logical.

I want to go back to what Christina said first, which is about your diet. Why, like, you know, there's so many recommended ways to eat now, and everybody has to juggle.
Why is vegan right for you?

Yeah. So, yeah, I say it's plant-based.
Vegan has like all this.

But plant-based, okay. Yeah, yeah.
So we were just driven by the evidence.

And so we went through the evidence and we say, what foods have the highest value contribution to lowering your speed of aging and maintaining health? And we just rank them.

So there's no, like, we don't have a horse in this race. We don't have an axe to grind.
We just wanted highest quality evidence. And so we created this don't die plate.

And so I basically eat a lot of legumes like lentils, uh beans eramame uh a lot of extra virgin olive oil that's uh yeah we saw you drinking that one oh i brought you i brought you as a bottle and you drink it why put it on all my favorite

oh you can the drinking of it yeah it was hard to watch you know what i love olive oil have you eaten it we eat it all we put it that's how we cook we don't cook with anything have you had a have you had a good olive oil i made one yeah i've had i've had some good olive oil do we can we bring one out can i get you guys yeah let's drink some let's get some oil let's put some olive oil in your coffee okay i'll try it

so he's legumes he's veggies he's olive oil. Berries, tofu, berries, seeds.
Your browns must be incredible.

I have the best bowel movements. How many times a day are we going? Just in the morning? Yeah, but it's like it's, I never, I'm never upset.

I've never had any problems. I'm never bloated.
That's the nice bit. Yeah.
Where's your olive oil? Like,

where's the olives from? Are you U.S., Europe-based? Everywhere. So we do.
As a collection, we do both hemispheres because we're trying to keep it within consumption within 12 months of harvest.

And so, because as it degrades, it's not like wine where it gets better over time. It degrades.
You want to drink it as close to harvest as possible. Hold on.

Speaking of alcohol, it's on the carcinogen list. Alcohol? Yes.

I just had a bout of breast cancer, and my oncologist says that it's on the list. Yeah, so I was going to ask you about that.
That was July of last year.

How are you doing? I'm fine. Thank you for asking.
Cancer free. I'm cancer-free.
I'm just going to have my breast reconstructed in August. And I was curious about how did this happen to me?

Yeah, yeah. Okay.
It was hormonal-based. It was a very rare form of cancer.
But my oncologist told me that one in six women will have breast cancer. One in six.
And I said, why?

The environment, plastics and everything. And so, you know what? I started doing like a real wacko, hydroponic gardening.

I'm growing my own vegetables and everyone thinks I'm nuts too, but it tastes incredible.

You take a piece of lettuce off your own hydroponic garden with seeds that are non-GMO. Yeah.
It tastes unreal. It's not like the crap.
No, are you growing your own veg?

Because, you know, to get those nutrients,

you're not going to like HEB or whatever and buying vegetables. So we've actually been wanting, I want us to, I actually want to build a garden.
You should. And do that and control the environment.

I'll come over. Yeah.
I'll show you what to do. It's actually...
It's awesome.

It's notably different eating these.

hydroponic

with non-GMO seeds. How big is this? Is it like a small thing?

I'll show you what I have. There's different sizes.
No matter what space you have, you can do it.

There's one that just grows lettuce that you can have in your home it's also not as involved as it sounds it's very easy yeah and it's also like it's expensive but it's not like holy but you're spending that much on organic produce yeah so yeah organic is like full of shit yeah so then what the fuck are you eating bro i know okay so here's the thing we

We have been tearing. Let me get this.
Yeah. Are you going to really put in my coffee? Is that going to taste good? You're going to love it.
Are you sure? I'm telling you.

I'm afraid. Oh, God.

it's great you ready tom do you have something you can get it in uh vodka can you guys make me one

of your coffee i don't i love it i mean it's great is it unhealthy to drink coffee it just it gets it creates a mood swing for me it does yeah that's normal that's because you're so dialed in that you can actually sense these things right yeah like i noticed that when i went from eating oh it is good that's pleasant isn't it yeah it's just it's pleasant it's not oh wow try it and i prefer my own.

And it's the healthiest thing you're going to have all day long. That's really good.

When you're someone that eats like shit and just everything, like I was eating like that for a long time, you actually can't sense what changes

are. You know what I mean? Like you have something the next day and they're like, don't you feel better? You're like, I don't know.
You can't tell. Like you can't tell.

And the more restrictive you get, you actually are able to detect, oh, this actually made me feel this way. This made me feel that way.
So your sense for that must be like very high.

Do you drink alcohol? No. Okay, so that's why.
That's a huge thing. Yeah.
So I was going to say, we smoke meth

with a little Coke, you know, like a little topper.

With when we started doing this, like going into the dye equation, we started measuring everything I was eating. So every single food, every single supplement, all my water, all my air.
And so

everything. And so food, as you know, is incredibly toxic.

Yes. And so it's horrifyingly bad.
And there's no standard. So we're creating a new thing called Don't I Certified.
We're going to crowdsource this where you take your favorite food,

vote it up, and then it'll be like $500 per test or whatever it is. We'll get the results back.
We'll post it for the public. So any food, and we're going to try to test.

Are you going to,

thank you very much, Reed. Not sure.
Try this. It's actually really good.
It's cold brew because I need to like that. Oh, it's cold brew.
I think that would have been better. Yeah, okay.

Have Brian put it in because he has the right amount. He knows how much to put in.

It's actually good. I'm embarrassed to say.
I didn't want to like it. I didn't want to like it.
I didn't want to like you. I watched your documentary.
I liked you.

Cause I just saw you on TikTok, Brian. Yeah.
And I was like, ooh, this guy's out of his mind. It's like everybody is.
And then you're like, oh, it's not. And look, what's the harm?

Obviously, you're doing this to yourself. You're grown up.
This is your choice. You can do whatever the heck you want to your body.
You want to staple your nuts to your leg? You can do it.

Who cares? I mean, there's that creepy chick that just had sex with a thousand guys in a day. And then there's Brian.

What makes me look so weird? I think the shot. How is it? Hold on.

It's actually really good. Yeah.
It's actually really good. Very nice.
Yeah. And that's good for me? Yeah.

So I consume more olive oil than any other food type in my diet. 15% of my daily calories.
Can I ask, before you get onto what makes you fucking weird?

Oh my God. I thought you were drinking olive oil.

If it wasn't a gift, I would. Well, I read that it has antioxidant properties after I got diagnosed with cancer.
I was reading about cancer.

I genuinely really like it. It tastes very good.
It tastes really good.

So there's one thing that stood out in the documentary. Oh, there's many things, but this in particular.

One point they're going over your diet, and somebody's with you in your kitchen, and they go, are you hungry? And you go,

I'm hungry quite a bit.

And what I wanted to ask, because, you know, there's, if you get to like, if you're around pro-bodybuilders, for instance, when they get to competition and they get very lean, very cut, they're all miserable.

They're like, I'm fucking dying right now to maintain this aesthetic, headaches, mood swings. They want to eat.
Their body's asking them to eat more.

To what degree, like your last meal of the day is at what time? Noon. Noon.
What?

So

you're fasting. That's a long fast.
Yeah. So, but why, like, how are you dealing like, how bad is your hunger? How are you dealing with the hunger? Yeah.

That particular scene from the documentary was when I was earlier on in the project and I was doing 1,950 calories a day. So I was 20% caloric restriction.
So it's pretty, pretty deep.

That's why I got pretty skinny. So I've since increased it to

2,250. So I'm substantially more.
And so right now my hunger is in check. So I am

slightly hungry all the time, but I find it really enjoyable.

Because having eaten too much is actually quite miserable. Yes.
Yeah. Yeah.
And even feeling like neutral is okay, but I like the edge of a slight hunger. I feel more creative.
I feel more energetic.

I just feel better.

I like being on Ozimpic. Yeah.
Yeah. That's where I'm at right now.
Yeah. What's your dosage on that? I don't know.
5,000 milligrams. Yeah.
Yeah. Cool.
How long have you been on that?

No, I don't know. Honestly, I think I do one milligram.
Yeah. A couple months now.
Cool. What's your range? What's your experience? I like it.
Like what you're saying.

I eat a very light dinner and then I fast until lunchtime the next day and I have a decent healthy lunch, a lot of veg, lean protein. Yeah.
And then I have a light dinner and then I'm back.

I don't do alcohol anymore because of the cancer stuff. Yeah.

Not too much dairy. I try not to consume dairy.
I like it. I feel lighter.
I like to feel, and here's the truth of it. I like to feel skinny.

I like to have my clothes fitting me loose and you, you know, you can move better. It's good.
So when I met you today, that was the first thought I had. I thought you felt good.

I thought I thought you felt good. I could tell like the way your clothes were on you and the way you moved.
Yeah, I did. I felt you.
I thought, like, you're feeling good about it.

Softwave, how much are you doing it? Let's talk about that machine. So, you, it's like every, okay, here's a secret.
Every two months is like the most you can do it because you need to do it.

You're only two months yet to build it. So, the way you can cheat that healing time is by doing hyperbaric oxygen therapy.
I just did that one. I had cancer too.
I want to buy a chamber. Okay, yes.

I'll tell you which chamber to buy. I just did 69 sessions.

That's amazing for anti-aging. And you know what? It's the best whole body skin rejuvenation therapy you can do.
It's better than any treatment.

And for your organs, for the oxygenation of all your organs. That's why you people do that nutty stuff.
Yeah, so

we're going to share our data this week. Yeah.

It has probably been the most effective whole body therapy we've done. Hyperbaric stuff.
Of course.

I think so, too. There's so many hyperbaric chambers.
Yeah, if you pull up Brian Johnson. How did you find the one

that is the right one for you? So we got a hard shell.

Yes, I moved my office. You see all the memes people are doing on me.
Stop it. You're working in there? Yeah, so because in these hard shells.
That's yours? Yeah.

So in these hard shell chambers, it's two atmospheres, but the oxygen level is 21%,

which is what atmosphere is. So it's just the flammability of our environment right now.
So you can take your electronics in there and work.

Otherwise, if you have to peel off 90 minutes a day, you can't do it. So, I basically worked there in the first 90 minutes.
Do you still get the benefits of a different level of oxygen in there?

Because that mask, so you breathe 20 minutes on with oxygen, then take a five-minute break. So, 20 on, five off, and you do it for 90 minutes.

And yeah, like it, it improved my microbiome, my brain, my skin, my VO, my cardiovascular ability. Yeah.

It reduced these advanced glycated end products, like junk in your body. It's just like whole body.
We're really surprised. But

do you not understand?

Like, are you curious as to why people are like, this guy's fucking crazy?

I'll tell you why.

You don't. Like, self-awareness checks?

Like, only because it's to most people,

even with your mission being clear and like, I get the drive. Hyperboard chamber chat is a little bit more.

Like that with, like, I mean, that's like not even that crazy, I think. But like, you know, all of it together, I think it's just that people go, like, well, who could commit to this? Yeah.

You know, and they see it as very few people. So, I, so I get that.
So, I, I, to help bridge that gap.

Um, so if you see LeBron James, yes, you're like, he, he performs really well in court, one of the best basketball players of all time, and he sleeps well and eats well, and you're like, God damn it, LeBron, you're fucking cool.

Yeah, right. And then a guy like me,

people don't know who I am. So they're like, who is this vampire billionaire, tech billionaire, Patrick Bateman, Prometheus, fuckface guy? Oh, Patrick Bateman, totally

you're you're a vampire Patrick Bateman. Sounds like you've been reading some comments

because I don't know. Yeah.
So I was like you guys I get it. Also totally.
I'm a rejuvenation athlete. And so I created this Olympic sport.
We have a leaderboard.

It's who has the lowest speed of aging in the world. Anybody can compete.
Oh my God.

How do you, how does, because that's an interesting thing when people like in documentaries, articles about you, you know, they'll be like

rate of aging is this or you know, like, you're like, my lungs are this age, my heart's. How can somebody check what theirs is? Like, how do they verify that? Yeah.
So you can do these age tests.

They're so much fun because like we could actually do seven in studio today.

What? Let's do it, bro. Yeah, yeah.
How? Yeah. So seven easy ones.
So, for example, you can do grip strength. So there's a little meter.

Yeah, just hold it. So, and there's a.
Do you have one with you? Guys, do we have it? Let's do it. Do we have a grip strength thing with us? I hope we do.
That'd be cool. Yeah.

Okay, so and that is a that's a measure of longevity? Then you look at a chart and you say your age, and then you say for your age, you're at you know 25th, 50th, 75th percentile, or 99th percentile.

You can do another one, a one-legged stand. So you stand on one leg and you close your eyes.

It's very hard to stay, just stand upright. on one foot with your eyes closed.
It measures your balance. So as you age, you're okay.
Yeah. You can do sit and reach.
So just sit on the ground.

You're trying to stretch. I I could do that shit.
Yeah, that's age-based. Continuous push-ups.
Continuous push-ups. You know, the thing about push-ups is, though,

there's a real range of push-ups that people are doing. I've seen people claim their push-ups at a certain level, and then you're like, that's not a fucking good thing.
Yeah, I know, exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. So we have, we have standards and rules.
But like, these are just introductory ones. And then, of course, you can get so much more advanced.

You can look at your age of your heart, of your lungs, of your brain, of your speed of aging in your body. It's like I've done more biological age tests than any human in history.
That's for sure.

We measure everything. It's so fun.
Like, what happens when? Like, when you do methylation blue, like, what happens to your immune system? Does it change?

Does it, does it become younger in its profile? So we're trying to assess all these cause and effects. So when you feel that, why?

See, I think why you struck me as odd in the beginning is because I'm like, why is he doing it? What's the why? And I was like, is this guy like, is this a vanity thing?

Like, does he just want to be like jacked? You know, like, he's just, then I was like, and then your precision, the way you speak, you're very precise.

Even earlier, you were like, my diet was at one point, how many calories?

1,200. And then I increase it to 2,200.
I'm like, who, that's so precise. It's just the way your mind works.
We're sloppy comedians. We don't think that way.
You know? Yeah. It seems very...

I don't, I think the good news, you guys won't have to. Right.
Like, like society, for example, like, you can typically drink tap water and not die.

So there's like some basic level of health built into society. As we get better technology, you're not going to have to do the stuff I do.
You're just going to like do society.

Food's going to be clean. Like you're going to have to.
Do you ever step off the plan? for some indulgence that you

either want or think you want very rigorous. Yeah.
I mean, rarely. I did go to Burning Man.
Oh,

yeah. I I threw off the routine.
Yeah, so I went to, I did the, I was on stage with Rufus. Oh, okay.
Yeah, and they were filming it. I didn't think much of it.

But you have people watching, they're like, is that Brian Johnson on stage with Rufus at Burning Man? Did you like Burning Man? It was fun. Yes, you had fun.

That's what I was going to ask you. What does Brian Johnson do for fun? We had so much fun.

Did you do drugs? Did you do LSD? Did you mushroom? Did you do shrooms? We went out on the playa. So

on Friday night, the last weekend, weekend, we were up all night long.

Yes, that's definitely not your normal. All night long.
How did that feel? It was amazing. We had such a fantastic time.
Yeah. Wow.
Did you vlog yourself after?

No, like we

took naps during the day, you know, trying to get ready for it. And we took one nap during the day, we tried one at night.
So really trying to be thoughtful about it.

But yeah, like, I mean, is travel difficult for you to maintain your protocol? It seems like it'd be a challenge. Yeah.

So I went to India and China last month, two months ago, and it increased my speed of aging by

almost 30 to 40%. Oh my goodness.
Just from being off the

time travel,

the time difference, the lack of sleep. What about something like coming to Austin, though? Does that screw you up at all?

Yeah, well, say like a little bit. Like my hotel room,

it has a little, there's a light on the balcony.

Weirdly, you can't turn it off. And I can't close the curtains all the way.
So light comes into my room. And then you have a mask on.
It takes the mask off. And the body is just sensitive to light.

And so it changes my circadian rhythm my bed is not chilled like i have at home um a chilled bed yeah um my room is not cool enough so like there's small things here and there what temperature are you sleeping uh so i turned the temp down to 65 in my bedroom

yeah so this is the thing yeah

yeah i got it you guys sleep in the same bed yeah yeah how's that going i mean it's been 45 years yeah have you ever tried not sleeping in the same bed tell me about it

Well, he travels a lot for work, so we don't sleep in the same bed often. That's true.

We have separate comforts. I will say I sleep better at home than on the road, though, for sure.
Yeah, exactly. You have your pappoon.

How many days do you travel? Oh, a lot.

Yes. And how do you, is it pretty tough? Yeah, it can be.
Yeah. Travel's tough.

I mean, it's the, like, I'm very lucky. I'm very fortunate.
You know, I get it. My job is going on stage and doing stand-up, which is fun.
That's the fun part. Yeah.

The travel, a lot of times, it's like, you know, we fly out out Thursday. You go to the gig, then we fly out, then we land somewhere Friday at midnight.
Then you go to the hotel.

Then you do the show the next day. You fly out again.

And it's like over and over and over. So the, you know, your body, you can feel it.
You feel yourself starting. Even with like on the road, we prioritize training every day.

We always, we train on the road every day because it actually helps your brain and obviously your.

your body function. And we eat pretty well.
Sometimes it's harder to find, you know, depending on the market. Sometimes you're like, I'm trying to find this food that I want.
It's good food. Yeah.

It can be a challenge. But I think the hardest part of it is actually

the time zones and the actually just the constant movement. Where, you know, you could do a four-day, five-day run.
If you do that two, three weeks in a row, you just cooked after it. Yeah.
Yeah.

Do you have any kind of stimulants built in? Like, do you do caffeine before your show to get into the right? I mean, I'm caffeine daily.

I would say most of the time, I would say probably like 80% of the time our workout is like around three hours or so before we leave to go do the show.

So it's like I like it later in the day because it kind of I wake up with those. Yeah.
And then,

you know, we'll eat something usually modest after that, clean. You kind of, you get showered, you get dressed, you go to the venue.
Yeah. And then,

you know, do your show. It depends on like

that's when things start to like, you know, to get up for the show. Yeah, I'll drink a little caffeine before a show.

Then the part that wears on you is going to sleep. Because if we're spending the night in the city where the show is in, you know, you go back to the hotel, it's going to be already 11 something,

probably.

And it's really hard to come off of like a show and be like, time to go to bed. So you're actually just trying to get your brain and everything to calm down.

And then you start to get messed up is like, you know, if we're going to leave early the next day so then you don't sleep well and then you you travel you're in and then you you change time zones and you're trying to make that adjustment it's the cumulative effect of that i think if you did it like once or twice you'd be like it's fine but it's just the day after day after day yeah yeah yeah i feel for you yeah i've been doing this i'm here at austin all week and uh like i'm sure by day four i'll be feeling like I really want to be at home.

Yeah. Yeah.
You definitely. I mean, I get home and I sleep so much better.
Yeah. But that circadian, that rhythm you're talking about, like when I got diagnosed with breast cancer, I was like, what?

And I thought back to the last 15 years of being on the road like that. I was working like that too.
And now you're not sleeping properly. You're not eating properly.

And since I've been home and off the road, I feel so much better. Yeah.
Well, there's some people who have... Sleep is the thing, man.
It is. Especially for women, our...

rhythms are different than men. Our hormones are regulated through sleep.
You've got to, I sleep more than him. Yeah, you know, and it's harder for women as women age to get sleep.

So, women have to work harder for high-quality sleep than men do as you age.

Waking up and all that shit. Yeah.
It's terrible. Yeah.

Do you do coffee on a move?

No, I haven't. Yeah.
Those are popular. Have you done it?

I actually did. I did it.

That's awesome. I did it a few years ago.
This lady does it.

I mean, you're not constipated, so there's no reason to do it. No, she needs to be on a vegan plant.

So you just plug a pipe in. It looks like just a bag of coffee, and then

she does her headstand.

Okay, she's feeding coffee into... Yes.
Okay. And then she'll go sit on the can and just make it all extra brown in there.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah. Just everything will come out.
Yeah. Wow, that's the thing.

I did the

colonics one. Yeah, what'd you think? You know, I didn't know what to think.
Yeah. Going,

there is it's it's so bizarre what does it feel like

you feel like you're kind of getting bloated right like and then there's this thing where they obviously if you want to have an experienced person who's kind of telling you let that feeling happen yeah don't resist like yeah and and then you kind of you know you ease you're like oh then you calm calmly take it in you're like okay and then when everything is leaving and you're seeing it leave there is like this sense of pride you're like yeah i did that

And you like it. Yeah.
And then you feel so light. You do.
Yes. You got to get into this.
Yeah, I'm missing out on all the good stuff. Yeah, you feel really good about it.

You're not even drinking your urine. Yeah.
And you're not giving yourself coffee enemas. Yeah.
Yeah. Do you do, do you, do you sharpen your sword every day?

You know, like Montak Chia stuff. But it's that.

This guy's like the

bad. I don't even, don't even know what I'm doing.

So the women practice on the egg. What do the men do? Okay, this is the world leader in this.
They have to practice

sharpening the knife.

Okay.

Now you get the penis out. Yeah.
You pull the skin. A lot of people, they never circumstances.
Yeah. So they have the skin.

So you pull the skin and you get the oil in the hand and you rub hand cold like this. You rub, rub, rub, rub.

Especially on the planned penis. Rub them.
50 times. I'm serious because it's totally true.
Because you make them strong and not sensitive. 50 times, once one

right side, 50 times, left side, 50 times, front, 50 times back, 50 times down. That's a wow.
That's a lot. 300 times.
Yeah. How often am I doing this?

You have to do it every day until you can control.

Every day.

I mean, this guy is like the, he's the one that coaches. He does seminars for this worldwide.
Yeah. For men and women.
Yeah. And that does what? What's the sharpen your sword? Sharpen your knife.

Complete, total control, mastery of your orgasms. Yes.

Extending them. Yeah.
And then the next level is like how you can basically

be the ultimate partner to the other person. Like he's like the voice on

for men and women, like your own orgasms and then the orgasm of the other person. I want to see it measured.
Oh, wow.

So these are the kinds of things they live in antidote. Yes.
I want to see him lead the leaderboard. Oh, right.
Watch him jack off or something. Yeah, right.

You got to measure that shit. Otherwise, this is like it sits in storyland and like everyone's telling us they're like how good they are.
Wow, did you realize Brian just called him out?

But he's like, show me, bitch.

He's the one where that guy, remember that like stories of New York guy? Where he was, there was this guy who was like, I

can, yeah. So this guy was like, I'm basically the best lover.
Yeah. And I can blow a woman's mind.

And there was, everybody kind of like rolled their eyes at this guy. Like, okay.

Turns out after he did that, then there were these women that came forward. They were like, oh, no, yeah, he's the real deal.
I've slept with him and he's amazing.

And then he credited this guy with everything. Yeah.
Like, he was like, this is who taught me. All right.
We need to do a come off. Right.
Like, yeah. I mean, that's a great idea.

In addition to measuring the motility. of your sperm.
Yeah. You need to get into it.
Can you add sharpening your knife to your daily regimen? I know you're already four hours deep into one.

I have powerful orgasms, by the way. Do you? Yeah.
Yeah. Actually, I would love to actually measure that.

Yeah.

Are you saying the duration and intensity, like the peak and the tail? So, okay.

Yes. And also, like, just

time in like time in. Do you know when a man has an orgasm, there's like a pump, right? Like a flex.
I don't know what you would call it.

Yeah. Dude, I'm up sometimes 14, 15, 16, 17 of those.
Pumps. Yes.
Yeah. That's a lot.
That's

before I met her, it was three.

Thank you. Yeah.
I think that's.

I think the 14, 15 is actually pretty high.

Yeah. I'm guessing.
It is pretty high. Yeah.
For sure. I mean, I've had conversations with other people about it, and they're like, oh, I'm 5, 6, 7.
Yeah, I said the median is probably like 5, 6, 7.

Yeah. Oh, wow.
Yeah. Yeah, you're definitely on like 99th percentile.
I'm trying to put out my own video like this.

I don't really know that I did anything to earn it other than I was masturbating at five. Yeah.
So maybe that was it.

Are you doing 300 sharpenings? A day. Left, right, up, down, straight.
Rap, rap,

ramp, rap, rap. I don't know.
I love his presentation, though. He's into it.
No, he's.

His life, dude. He is.

He's the guy. He's the guy if you want to get it.
And by the way, you can do soft wave on the vagina. Wow.
Hold on.

It snaps, though. You know how it hurts at the very end.
Oh, God.

I don't like the end.

That's okay. You deal with it.
It's so painful. So hold on.
Who's doing it for you? Do you have like a doctor come in and soft wave you or your assistant? Yes. And then I do my body on myself.

Oh, you can do it on your own.

You do your privates, too. I do shockwave on my dick.
Yes.

What does that do to it, though? Shockwave. So, yeah, this is.
That's the collagen.

Yeah. So this is, okay, I would say H-bot is like up there.
Focus shockwave is like very close second. What does that do to it?

So I used it when I sprained my ankle. I had

fracture and a high-grade sprain, and it accelerates healing. So people who tear ACLs, knee injuries, any kind of injury, you can use it to accelerate that.
It's also used for whole body rejuvenation.

I'm doing the world's first whole body rejuvenation protocol where I just do every joint proactively. And then we did it on the penis for increased nighttime erections.

And it affected them? Yes. You said you have the erections of an 18-year-old at night.
Yeah, exactly.

These are like in-sleep erections. Is that what that means? Exactly.
It's a cool biomarker because you can't just, you go to the gym and you can work hard to lift heavy weights. Yeah.

But nighttime erections just happen. You can't try to have them.
You just go to sleep and either they happen or they don't. And it's a very clear age biomarker.
Your penis doesn't work.

Like, you know, at age 18, you have around two and a half hours of nighttime erections. What? Yeah.
And I'm at three hours and two minutes. Wow.
How are you measuring that? There's a little device.

Yeah, just like a cube. It's a one-inch cube.
I should have brought it here. It's okay.
No, it's a new one. It's a new one.
Okay. Yeah.

You know what?

I messed up. I should have brought

the... Wait, is the fact that you're doing this treatment to the penis the reason that it's doing this? That it's having these nighttime erections.
Yeah. So basically.
It's a shockwave machine. Yeah.

So it rebuilds collagen. It rebuilds the.
How often do you have to do it to it? Three therapies. So it's like...
Three total. Yeah.
You do it like once a year, three therapies, once per year.

Dude, how do I do this? Yeah, where are you going? So they're everywhere. So, yeah, just type in Austin focused shockwave therapy.
There's a few vendors. And you can say, I want my penis done.
Yeah.

Yeah. Does it hurt, though? Yes.
Yeah.

Because the whatever, the soft wave that we do on our face. But this one has to be applied by a

doc. Medical person, right? You can get the machine.
I have the machine. But I'm saying, like, if you're doing it at a place, they do it too.
Yeah, they do. Yeah.

You actually sit in the chair in stirrups. They're like, all right,

let's get it out. Pull your dong out.
Yeah, pull your dong out. And I asked the doctor, I was like, so is it better flaccid or erect? Like, yeah, good question.

Because, like, is is the tissue is gonna change right yeah what do you say he said i don't know oh brian what about um cellulite what can i do for my cellulite you know what i have to stop being so fat i have not looked into that i should um i will i will yeah i'll look at it tell me the machine i'll look into it for you but look you could you could do your deed bro there you go yeah that looks pretty funny so yeah it when you do it i think what you'll feel is is your your dick will feel younger it'll just feel more nice it'll feel more firm like the tissue tissue will just feel more bouncy.

Dang. You might motivate me to put a picture out there of it.
That's pretty cool. You should do.
You should drop a dick pic. I mean, it should be.

Could you imagine? You did a nude photo shoot. That was pretty cool.
I did, yeah. Yeah.
I think that's actually, you're going to really like that. Did you show your stuff? Seriously, like one day.

I've never actually showed my junk. Yeah, don't show your junk.
No, but I meant, I just mean that like at one day, one day, you'll be 80 and very healthy. But it'll be fun to have that photo of you.

Yeah. Dude, Brian totally in his mind.
He's like, no, I'm not, bitch.

How'd you know? No, I'm not. Yeah.
I saw it in his life. I was being polite.
I was being polite. Yeah, you should.
You'll be 80 because you're actually 100. Because I can read minds.
I read minds.

I'm into ESP. What about this, Brian?

You're very dedicated to this cause. You've got your son.
You have a full life. I imagine for a woman to be with you, she would have to equally be into this lifestyle of yours.

Like you guys would have to wake up at 4:30 together and do this stuff. You're talking about dating apps on the dock, too.
You went on some dates,

there's no way a normal, the normal, you know what I mean, a woman that's not fully into this could deal with it. Yeah, no, I think someone could be chill.

Like, I could, I'm, I wouldn't require them to be the same, doing the same thing out, same level, no, but she's got to be fit and into the

because you know, yeah, you can't, yeah, for sure, yeah, some pig who just lays down just nothing. It's like, let's order a pizza.
Yeah, that wouldn't work. But, I mean, I think it's

a lot of women really like this, right? The boundary conditions are clear.

Right? Like,

you know what you're getting. Yeah.
That's good because you mentioned in the documentary that like you lead with, hey, I'm just letting you know. Exactly.

Heads up. This is its own thing going on here.
Yeah. But that's good because it lets somebody know whether they want to step in and try it.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Have you done the apps more?

No, I really, so, man,

it's

why aren't you on the Elite app? Yeah. Like, what? What is that?

Oh, yeah, I've done that. Oh, isn't that like the best you can get? Man, I'm so scarred.
Yeah. I am just getting in the wrong situation

is so fucked up and it just

lingers for so long. Yes.
That I, I mean, yeah, I would just be honest and say, like.

You must have people, though, reaching out. Like, like, you're in a documentary.
Sure. People have got to be hitting you up left and right.
Like, I'd love to try dating you. Sure.

And honestly, it's just not worth the risk to me right now. Yeah, I hear you.

I mean, we have so much momentum of what we're doing. And like,

you just get yourself in a situation where an accusation.

You're going to find somebody out in the weirdest situation. That's how you're going to.
I can't wait. Like, who's it going to get you?

You're going to be getting your dick sapped and someone will be saying.

Yeah.

Can I tell you, for some reason, I see him with like a sage type. Like, some girl who's into like

sound baths and healing. It's got to be somebody who is really into wellness, too.
Yeah. That's what's going to work for you.
But not on this masculine side of it.

She's going to be a healing person, maybe. Sure.
Like a hippie chick. And she's all hairy and smelly, like the opposite of him in some ways.

But he likes it. He's like, yeah, sage.
You should date a physical therapist, man. Just somebody.
By just so convenient, right? Or yeah. Or like a doctor.
Just like bring the doctor.

Bring the doctor in house.

Oh, my God. Who's just fascinated with what you're doing? Yeah.
Like, can you spin up an IV drip for me?

Yes. Yeah.
Right? Tom's saying it now. Like,

this is perfect. This is a good idea.
Yeah. Yeah.

Are you super gassy? No. Actually, people assume I am.
I'm not. With a legume intake, I mean.
I know. My body's normalized.
Yeah.

Even with all the broccoli and cauliflower. What's the most you weighed ever? 214.
214 is your highest? Actually, maybe in high school I was a bit more, but like 214 in my early 20s. Okay.

And what are you now?

Like 170. Damn, that's pretty dramatic.
Yeah.

I mean, I was obese. I was depressed.
I was taught. I mean, I was in a really bad state.
I almost killed myself. Yeah, that's in the dock.
Yeah, yeah. It's very powerful.
Yeah. I mean, it sucks.

It really sucks being in that state. But do you think that being in that state wasn't just like, you know, eating and living a certain way, but also was the fact that you...

kind of were coming to terms with like this religion's not for me like all that together right yeah i honestly i think um because i tried i was depressed and i i was trying a whole bunch of things to address it and i think what really happened was um i was in a bad relationship and i was basically trying to leave the mormon religion and i think they were both trying to tell me what to do

and it just crushed my soul

and i just couldn't see it And because I was, I had kids and the idea of leaving my born-into religion was such a big move, like leaving my community and my family and my identity.

So it was just like a gigantic shift.

Once I got over that, I mean, it was kind of once I got over that little thing of my entire world.

Yeah, you nailed it. Well, because from what I understand with the Mormon church, is that once you leave, you're excommunicated.
Like, you're not allowed to be spoken to. Your family has to drop you.

So that's a really big deal. And I lost two of my kids.
You know, like, we're friendly,

but like, they, I'm for all intents and purposes, like, I'm not really their dad in terms of like, they don't come to me like, hey, dad, I need help with this given thing because I, you know, I'm not part of the church.

I can't be trusted. They're practicing.

Yeah, they're practicing. Yeah.
It's like, we're friendly.

I talk to them all the time. I try my very best.
But yeah, I mean, so, yeah, it came at this gigantic cost and just, it's not free. No,

it's devastating. Yeah.
That's tough. But then staying in the misery of what you were in, you know, you did the right thing.
Yeah, and I hope my kids will come back, you know, like in time.

You don't, they're still so young.

Yeah.

Well, you're going to be alive forever, so they can come find you. Yeah, that's right.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's a good, that's a great perspective. Thanks.
Right. Yeah.
Yeah.

Let's talk about cool rich guy stuff. So

what's like besides medical equipment and

fucking he loves talking about what's your cool rich guy stuff? Like what's the coolest thing you bought when you, when you got money? A jet. A house, whatever, car, whatever.
The best. It's the jet.

It's, yeah. So I started flying

15 years ago.

And I was flying myself to various work meetings. I had a little propeller plane.
Yeah. And I almost died twice in it.

And so I thought, I need to stop flying. Yeah.

Because he's into this shit too. He's piloting.

I just saw what happened.

He wants his helicopter pilot. That's cool.
I almost have my license. Are you doing helicopters? I've been

sometimes, yeah. Yeah.
How many hours do you have in?

i don't i'm not close no yeah it's the schedule it doesn't allow me to oh too bad are you flying planes too i've gone up a few times to fly planes but i don't have a license yeah did you hear him almost died twice yeah but that was his fault

not

yeah

dumb people did that yeah yeah were you flying a cessna or something yeah 172.

oh yeah yeah that's what i went up in then i bought a bonanza um 836 and then i almost died twice and so i was like all right stop flying or or buy a jet because then you have a turbine engine instead of a piston yeah and you've got two engines instead of one and you can fly above the weather instead of through the weather and so I bought a jet and like it just kind of fell in love with it it's just the best what kind of did you get can I ask I bought a Mustang first and then I got a Phenom 300 those are incredible yeah yeah they're so fast yep so light yeah they're in crazy range for that size they're fantastic hold on hold on how old is your jet so I don't I sold it in the pandemic so yeah it was there was like a two to two and a half year time where I just wasn't wasn't flying.

And you've got to fly the plane. Otherwise, it just, yeah, there it is.
Yeah, those are rad. It is so fun to fly.
Um, yeah, I got my license. Um, so you got instrument rated to fly this? Yep.
Yeah.

You can fly that solo. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
No, will you be getting another jet? Um, you know, I honestly am really kind of mixed on this. Um, I fly commercial right now everywhere I go.

Um,

germs,

yeah, man. You're fucking, you're getting, you're aging every time you get on one of those.
Yeah, they raise the UV rate. Wait, so wait, wait, what were you saying, though? Yes.
Yeah.

So what was I saying? No, just that you're like, I'm flying commercial. I'm asked if you were in a

weather jet. Yeah, so I wasn't flying.
I was doing Blueprint and I was basically not traveling because we were trying to do everything perfect for my biomarkers.

And traveling is so costly on hurting biomarkers. And so I had like a four-year run, but I just wasn't traveling.

And then the plane owns you, where you have to fly somewhere every week because if you don't, the plane just, you know, you create risk because something that's not used in a mechanical system is going to fail.

Yeah. And so it's got to be used.
And so I just wasn't using it and it was such a pain in my ass. So I just got rid of it.
And so, but now recently I've been traveling a lot more.

So, yeah, I'm thinking. Let me get that jet.
Yeah. I mean, let's get another job.
But you know, like,

flying is just, it's so fun. It's the greatest.
Yeah. All right.
I'm going to ask you if I should get a jet. And just remember, I'm going to send this clip to my business managers.
Yeah.

So you just give me a hard sell on why it's a great idea. Ready? Yes.
Brian, as a guy who's kind of done it all and had all these things, do you think I should get a jet? Unquestionably. Really? Yeah.

You can get a jet and you can probably get away with the annual operating costs at around $400,000 to $500,000. Wow.
Yep. So just get a four-seater.

You know, has a range of, call it a thousand miles and cruises like three, 400 miles an hour. And so it will suck doing like coast to coast.
If you're East Coast, doing West Coast, that sucks.

But given that you're in Austin, you've got nice short hops yeah so anywhere in the us is like a pretty doable you have like one two stop runs and uh just get a pilot um yeah fly anytime and it will be worth the money wow yeah maybe i should that would help me to pursue getting my license to get to the point where i can do what you did right like actually get licensed get instrument rated and fly yeah so i think i think you definitely should get your license um but also i'd always fly with a co-pilot sure yeah because you if you don't i think the stats are something like uh professional pilots are like seven times safer than amateur pilots, which I am.

Yeah. Cause you get in the plane, you're like remembering stuff.
You're not doing that all day, every day. So you're just not fast.

And so if you get into a situation and you need to be fast, you're kind of screwed. Yeah.
So I always have someone in the cockpit with me. That's awesome.

Yeah. It's like, so if your financials allow it, it definitely

was worth

worth the increased efficiency of the things you can do and the way you can do them. Save time.
So much time. I almost feel like I can't not get one.
I kind of feel that way too, babe.

But in truth, because you do travel constantly, it's built into your business.

It's a necessity. I mean, you guys just convinced me.

Yeah,

there's good, there's like no low, good, low-cost planes, like turbine.

Are they safe if they're low-cost? They're safe. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
So you don't need to, the, the Freenom was, I think, like 8 million I paid or something like that.

But you can get four seaters for

probably like even less than a million, like $7,000,000,000. What? Yep.
Finance it. And then

operating costs are pretty low. What about a backup plane? Mark Cuban has a backup plane.

What is his? Like what is his backup plane? So he has a Bombardier and then he has an older Gulfstream. So he was like, he said it wasn't worth it at the time to sell the Gulfstream.

And then he goes, when the Bombardier is in service for something, then I'll take the Gulfstream. Yeah.
Yeah. But he's got a unique situation.
You know, like

most people don't go like, I got a backup plane. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.

Backup plan. He also sold the Mavericks.

Now, what happened to your nail polish? You're not doing your nails blue. Yeah.
Yeah. That was like my early days.
I was like, I can do whatever I want. I'm going to put on their nail polish.
You can.

I can do whatever you want. I went out of that phase, but like, yeah, I want to do it.
By the way, I've really enjoyed the dude. You drank the whole thing.
Yeah. Yeah, so do it every day.

It's really, really good for you. You know, you said that you're socially awkward in the documentary.
I don't think you are. I think you're fine.

Don't I have like some stripes of like some autistic behaviors? Yeah, we all do. We're all comedians, entrepreneurs.
We're all young. Yeah, but you're not.
But you're not.

You're just precise. You're one of those guys.

You're perceptive of social cues. And like,

I mean, either that or you're just like really studying when you're not here. You're just like,

laugh when they say something. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
That's cue. Yeah.
No.

Much more. I don't think so.
Yeah. I think you're just like a smart guy.

Before we go, just like for people who are still skeptical or whatever, is there somewhere you can, I mean, I know Blueprint's the company and you guys have, I think, some protocols that people can follow, right?

Yeah.

What's like a good

gentle way in to all of this for someone who's like, I'm curious, but I don't know. Yeah, I'll share it with you guys so you can have it as part of your lifestyles.
Okay, I'm writing it down.

Okay, cool. Yeah.
This is, I'm going to distill like the most powerful

laws of what I've learned for the past four years. Okay.
Fuck yeah. Let's go.
Okay. So first,

I just want to say to you guys and the audience, dying is dumb.

Okay. All right.
Yeah. I believe I'm on the premise.
Let's go.

Dying is dumb. I accept this premise.
Great. Okay.
So you want to make sleep

your number one life priority. And that's hard.
That is very hard because she mocks me.

I don't.

I value nothing. I'm on the same train as you.
The things she says I mock her for, I'm actually totally intensely jealous of, which is the fact that she's like, I'm tired right now.

And just fucking goes to sleep whenever she wants. Yeah.
At any hour. Yeah.
It's insane. Clear conscience, babe.

Yeah. So

the hard thing about this, though, is it's really not built into our culture. We just like sleep whenever we have time.
Yes. So you need to build your life around sleep.
So here's how you do it. Okay.

So the most important thing is your resting heart rate before bed. Okay.
So that is after your show or when you're getting ready for bed.

When you lay down on the pillow, measure your resting heart rate. So if you have a wearable, like an Apple Watch or,

okay, great. So just look at your beats per minute and you'll probably be something like 60, thereabouts.

And so you want it, so say it's 60. Okay.
Your goal is to try to go from 60 to 50 over the next few weeks. Okay.
Because the lower your heart rate, the better your sleep.

And by to lower your heart rate, there's obviously different, like one thing would be avoiding stimulants. Exactly.
And another thing would be tactics like breathing, meditation. Exactly.
Exactly.

So the drivers are, those things are big. Also, food.

Because when you eat food, your body's pumped, your heart's pumping, trying to digest. And so you want to eat, that's why I eat at noon because I give my body nine hours to digest.

So when I go to bed, my body's fully completed. It's primary digestion is done.
And my heart rate is 44. Now, if I eat at four or five, my heart rate's going to be at 52 or 53.

If I eat something bad, it's like 60.

And so, and that's going to just destroy my sleep. Now, what happens if those people listening are drinking a few beers, having the pizza, and then going to bed? What's that look like?

It's wrecking their sleep because their heart rate will be up probably 20 beats per minute. And there's an exact relationship with heart rate and lower quality sleep.

So it's going to demolish their deep sleep. And so deep sleep is when the trash collector, the trash truck rolls through your body and it picks up all the garbage.

And if you miss that deep sleep window, the trash collector doesn't come and you have trash accumulation. It's not like the next day.
And you feel it. Yeah.

And the trash collector doesn't come back and like, I'm going to pick up three days of trash. It can only fit so much in the truck.
And so you don't want to miss these cleanup windows.

So when you're saying the trash collector, so people understand, it's like cellular repair. They're picking up toxins or is that what you're meaning? Yeah, exactly.

Autophagy, where like your body like literally goes through like a it's like a self-eating process and it cleans up trash in your body and gets rid of the debris so this is why you take all these supplements and you do this stuff so that everything is at optimal performance so your body is not in like a deficit exactly so now you're optimal and then your body can just clean the organs clean everything every night exactly so yeah so you're If your bedtime is, let's say at 10 o'clock, let's say, Tom, you're at midnight thereabouts.

So try to have your final meal of the day at least two hours, if not six hours before bed. And just experiment.
But you'll see the earlier and the lighter you eat, it will drive down your heart rate.

And you'll feel amazing because your sleep will get better. And the Tom, you mentioned also the wind down routine.
And so what I do is I actually do self-talk.

And so I give the various versions of me names. So I'll say like ambitious Brian, anxious Brian, you know, Dad Brian.
And then I'll listen to their voice when they show up.

You know, like Dad, Brian, at 7.30 p.m. When I'm doing my wind down routine, my bedtime's 8.30.

You know, Dad, Brian may be like, today Today, when you were talking to Genevieve on the call, you know, we had this interaction, and like, you really should have been more understanding, like, whatever the rumination is.

And so, I'll have to listen to that and say, okay, great. And I'm going to write that theme down and say, like, I'm going to call Genevieve tomorrow and say, hey, babe.

Like, you know, so, but otherwise, if you don't do that, I'm going to put my head on the pillow and I'll think, ah, that thing about Genevieve today.

And then I wake up in the middle of the night and it's like, oh, Genevieve. And so you need to kind of get that thing washed out.
Also, red and blue light. So turn screens off.

Blue light's really bad. So you want to have red light and amber light in your house, in your environment, stimulants earlier in the day,

and then be consistent. So the body really is as good as a clock in terms of keeping time.
So

if you say your bedtime is midnight or 10 or whatever you do, be on time. Like within a plus or minus 15 minutes, really work hard to be on time.
And so that's your first goal is like make sleep.

And you will be a better human in every way, shape, and form if you make sleep your top priority. There's just, There's no drug more powerful than sleep.
I believe that. I believe that too.

I believe that too. I think it dictates everything for the day.
Yeah. What about your fitness, man? What are you doing? What's the fitness routine? Yeah, I work out an hour a day.

I do strength, cardio, flexibility, and mobility. And so a balance.
And so. You rotate what you're doing throughout the week? Yeah.
Yeah. I just, I...
kind of play around the gym.

I'm not very structured. I do various things.
But yeah, I spend a full hour and then I measure everything. I'm trying to be age 18 in all metrics.
And so I peg that for the goal.

And yeah, it's just a non-negotiable every day an hour. And it's awesome.

Well, I'll tell you, this traveling commercial, you'll get colds and stuff. Do you do you work out when you're sick? I do.
Oh, wow. I mean,

does that wear down your organs? So I might work out a bit lighter. But

if I'm feeling really bad, I'll chill, right? Obviously, getting the body some space. But mostly I just work through it.
Dang. Right, if I can lead you with anything, get that jet, dude.

Thanks. Thanks.
Yeah.

You know, it's complicated, though, because I'm very mindful. Like, why am I packing this big metal thing around for one person or a few people? No, no, no, no, no.

I mean, it's morally and ethically complicated for me. I really

struggle with it. The jet? Yeah.
Why, the carbon footprint thing? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

You can easily rationalize it. Try to live or you try to die, man.
I know.

Yeah, I hear you yeah and also I will say

the one thing I really Tom and I both agreed with you so much in the beginning of the documentary you talk about how the mind can tell you what to do the mind tells you what to eat and I think the average bear watching you goes well where's the joy you're not eating this you're not enjoying your coca-cola your pizza your hot dog it's like yeah but once you realize those things aren't actually bringing you joy exactly this is this is the lie i immediately thought of watching that your documentary of the book Discipline is Destiny.

Have you read that? Yes. I've heard of it.
I haven't read it. It's so good.
And I think you will actually, it's an easy read. It's by Ryan Holliday.

It's very consumable, and it has all these incredible stories about it. And the way that it explains the joy, like what you're saying,

that discipline brings you and how the person without them that appears to be. Yeah, enjoying everything, like how they're actually not free.
They're slaves to these things that drive them.

It's extremely well written. Highly recommend it.
I think you would get a real kick out of it.

But how would the average person kick this notion that, well, without wine, without pizza, without these junky things in my life, how will I be happy?

How do you kick it? Yeah.

I mean,

we all know that that stuff is misery. Right.
And I don't think anyone really wants to do it. They just do.
I don't think they do. Yeah.

It's a cope. They say they want because they can't stop it.
And so they're in a

bad state. I've never felt better in my entire life.
Like I've never been more emotionally stable. I've never had like a bigger consciousness.
You know, like negative things don't get to me.

Like I'm just good. And I don't think I've ever been able to say that in my entire life, that I'm just good.
Like honestly, it's all okay. Yeah.

And so like, I guess like fun, it's like a different direction, but just to be good with existence, I would give anything for that. I mean, I was so tortured for most of my life.

This is like,

yeah, I mean, you're kind of a living example of,

honestly, a lot of the messages of that book, really. Yeah.
It's really good. Yeah, and Ryan lives here.
No, he's a guy. Yeah, he's a friend.

Yeah, I met him years ago. We were in touch occasionally, but he's a great guy.
He's great. You guys would definitely bro down.

Go do his podcast. Oh, yeah.
Yeah.

He's great. Go do his podcast.
I'll introduce you to him if you want. Yeah.
No, we're in touch. We just haven't been together for a while.
Okay.

And you two, with your personalities, I think, would write. Can't you see the two of them? Yes.
Yeah. I think you can.
You'd like him very much. Yeah.

Cool. Well, thank you for coming.
Yeah, it's cool to hang with you guys. It's cool to hang out with you.

Come back when you're 120. Well, this is full circle.
So, yeah. So we're going to do a Don't Die 2 documentary.
Yeah. So you guys need to talk some shit.
Oh, easy. Oh, you got it.
Fucking Brian.

Fucking Brian. Yes.
Fucking guys. Out of his goddamn money.

Okay. All right.
We appreciate you. Thank you.
See you guys. See you next week.

This on me, big man.

This on me, big man.

This on me, big man, oh yeah.

This on me, big man.

This on me, big man.

Guys, what the fuck, fuck good dude.

If you're a hot black guy, if you wanna fuck me at $23.95, if you wanna move in, you can move in, but you gotta fuck me. Man, I need, I need to be fucked a lot, man.

And with free food, free rents, and everything else, man, as a deal, man.

I gotta fuck.

You see me when I come up with your age for a double fired out, man.

You see me when I come up with your age, fired out before that, out, man.

I'm a hot fuck by trash, comfortable.

Try that, man. And I think I need to be fucked a lot, man.

Try that, man.

Piss on me, beat me, I'm homie, I know. Hello.
Hello, hello, hello, hello.