Bryan Johnson Will Never Die | Your Mom's House Ep. 803

1h 53m
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This week on Your Mom’s House, Tom and Christina welcome anti-aging expert and biohacker Bryan Johnson to talk about the ultimate goal: not dying. Bryan breaks down his "Don’t Die" program, which involves everything from hyperbaric chambers, drinking lots of olive oil, and shock waving your penis.

Before Bryan joins in, Tom and Christina open the show by clowning on some rich guy influencers and check out some of Hilaria Baldwin’s unhinged reality show.
Next, Bryan enters the Mommy Dome and briefs Tom and Christine on his entire lifestyle process, plus he even even gifts them some of his special olive oil. Tim and Kirsten also grill Bryan on some other crucial health hacks include coffee enemas, sharpening your own "sword", and piss drinking. They also touch on Bryan’s Mormon upbringing, his secrets for a better night' sleep, and whether owning a jet is actually worth it. If you want to live forever watch this episode ya chomo!

Your Mom’s House Ep. 803

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Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:04:48 - Opening Clip: Psychotic Roofing Conference
00:07:39 - Clip: Who Is This Dangerous Guy?
00:08:50 - Clip: Fancy Trainer
00:10:43 - Clip: Fired A Client
00:12:01 - Clip: Cool Dudes On A Plane
00:24:23 - Hilaria Baldwin
00:34:18 - Bryan Johnson Won't Die
00:43:03 - Anti-Aging Secrets
00:48:58 - Clip: Urine Therapy
00:51:28 - The Father, Son, & Holy Pineal Gland
00:56:57 - Diet & Olive Oil
01:06:23 - Hyperbaric Chambers
01:12:28 - Fun Stuff & Tom's Routine
01:18:24 - Clip: Coffee Enema Queen
01:19:55 - Clip: Rub, Rub, Rub
01:24:00 - Shockwaving Peeners
01:27:53 - Bryan's Personal Life
01:33:26 - Cool Rich Guy Stuff
01:40:04 - Dying Is Dumb
01:50:14 - Closing Song - "Piss On Me Beat Me" by Zach
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Transcript

week on Friday, April 4th, I'll be in Oklahoma City at the Paycom Center.

Go get your tickets at tomscrow.com slash tour.

Well, welcome.

Welcome to your mom's house.

I am so excited for this spa day.

Candles lit.

Music on.

Hot tub warm and ready.

And then my chronic hives come back.

Again, in the middle of my spa day, what a wet blanket.

Looks like another spell of itchy red skin.

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Welcome to another episode.

This is a really exciting day.

I mean, I'm pumped about this one.

So am I.

I'm feeling healthier.

I'm feeling alive and alert.

How about you?

Feeling good.

Get that timer timer going, please.

Get that timer.

Well, Josh Solo isn't here today.

Josh, yeah.

What's he doing?

Jew stuff.

Is today a Jewish holiday?

No.

Did we sanction this?

He's in Judork Titi.

Oh, is he?

He is.

He's doing his thing.

What the fuck is he doing there?

You know how they love that place.

They do love that place.

Yeah.

So he's there.

They do love that place.

Doing his thing.

Stuff like that.

100% culture.

For sure.

He's there.

I don't know.

Checking out fucking interest rates or something.

But

he'll be back.

He'll do his thing.

Banking industry.

Yeah.

They control it all.

Yeah, they sure do.

So funny.

The weather, all of it.

Of course, Jews control the weather and the aliens.

It's wild, dude.

Didn't know that.

Yeah, there's so many naive people out there who don't understand how this works.

Well, the problem is they're not doing their own research.

I got to do my own research.

You've got to get online and do your own research.

I'm not just indoctrinated by the state.

This fucking round earth shit that all you peons believe in.

Loose.

Oh, yeah.

We rotate around the sun.

Fucking idiot.

Yeah, prove it.

Prove it.

How come when I'm flying,

how come I don't see a big curve?

That's right, Tom.

I'm sitting up there and I'm like, oh, where's the big curve?

It's because it's not.

Yeah, stupid.

People are so.

Why come when I go to the beaches and you look out there, water's fucking flat, bro?

It's all the way through.

It ain't curved, right, dummy?

There you go.

Stupid.

Do your own research.

Do your research.

Do your own research.

Yeah.

What the fuck does that even mean?

Personal research.

Hitler.

was pretty chill.

He's a cool guy.

Yeah.

I'd like to fish with him.

I really would.

I really would.

Dude, your beard is growing back at such a rapid pace.

It's kind of freakish.

You're like a werewolf.

Yeah, it's coming in.

Your touch, you're fingering my lipsticks.

Is that because you miss wearing?

They don't want to hear that.

Nobody wants to hear your beard flakes.

I think I'll be, what, I'll be at a week and a couple days.

Yeah.

I'll be okay.

Guys, buy my perfect red.

Buy my Berlin, my Madison, my Atomic Red at Christinap.com.

Tom wore my lipstick.

How did it feel?

It was perfect.

It's perfor.

How did it it feel?

I'm being serious.

It's a very luxurious product, no?

Yeah, it is.

It feels very smooth.

That's true.

You know why?

A lot of red lipsticks or highly pigmented lipsticks take the moisture out of your lip and then the next day you're just like, oh, dry.

Were your lips dry the next day?

No.

No.

My favorite thing that I saw

from...

the live show and me being in that makeup for Robert Smith was somebody being like, this is the Illuminati got to him.

Oh, the gothic Illuminati?

Yeah, because like you had me wearing makeup.

They're like, this is exactly what Cat Williams was talking about.

Satanic?

It's satanic.

Well, Obama with his flag and the three stripes.

I sold my soul

for the Roberts.

Hilarious.

Comedians, just by the way, just so you guys know,

stand-up comics particularly,

we're nowhere near Illuminati.

Okay, that's not us.

We're the lowest on the show business total ball.

No, nobody talks to us about it.

Nobody cares.

Do anything.

Yeah.

That's not us.

That's the music business, guys.

Actors do crazy stuff.

Yeah.

We don't do shit.

We're on the other end.

We get the demons out.

Okay.

So we don't need to do crazy stuff like that.

That's very true.

My stepsister,

she texted and she was like, oh my God, you finally met Robert Smith?

No.

Because she saw it on Instagram.

I'm like, dip shit.

Yeah.

She bought it?

She bought it.

Oh, my God.

She's not.

This is my youngest one.

She's not very bright.

Oh.

Okay.

Whatever.

She's sweet, though.

And you're right around.

I was like, hey, dummy, that's my, that's my husband.

That's Tom.

Oh, my God.

Alfalvara.

Alfalvara.

I got some pretty cool stuff to show you.

Okay.

So let's get into this.

Okay.

Here we go.

All right.

You fucked idiot.

Literally, this is not comedy.

Don't laugh.

Because if you fit any of this shit, fuck you.

That's what you're saying to yourself in the mirror.

Fuck you.

I don't care about you.

This is someone who's calling you up.

Who is Randy?

I like this.

Mausers.

Mom Segura.

Christina.

Meow, Meow.

That was cool.

This is a new lane that's really blown up in my algorithm, which is the

it's always a guy who's like a business coach.

He's he's like really into

like you got to follow what I do.

And they're almost always the same.

They're usually like pretty jacked on a lot of TRT.

They usually have a pretty red hue to their skin.

Their vocabulary, even in business stuff, includes a lot of cursing.

Yeah.

And they charge people, and they're basically like,

I have a hot girl.

I have a crazy car.

I live in a nice place.

The fuck are you doing, you fucking loser?

And sign up with my thing, and then I can, you'll be like me.

That's like the baseline of it.

So this guy is named Wes Watson.

He's a personal branding blueprint guy.

He claims that he helps people go from making their a thousand a month to three million a month.

Oh, wow.

And the class on the cost end goes on the low end about $300 a month, and on the highest class is about $3,000 a month.

Oh, shit.

And here he's flipping out on people at a conference because someone asked why he's such an asshole.

This is someone who's calling you up.

Okay, so this, I don't know.

Eventually, this is going to lead to money.

There's so many guys like this now.

My whole algorithm is just these guys.

People look at me as soon as I walk in and they're like, who is this guy?

Who is this guy?

Who is this guy?

I'm going to hurt somebody.

No, you don't.

I don't look like I'm walking to a place and I'm just coming to have a good time.

I'm coming to eat lunch.

When I walk in, it's like I'm literally

a rabbi's son.

Like, that's what you look like.

Yeah, I'm not afraid.

So

what's the haircut?

that's an interesting haircut he's got people look at me as soon as i walk in and they're like who is this guy who is this guy looks like i'm going to hurt somebody is this a garden gnome like what why who's asking i don't look like i walk into a place and i'm just coming to have a good time come to eat lunch when i walk in it's like i'm literally going to hurt somebody okay no i i don't read that nobody reads that he wants to be that guy yeah he's hoping people see him that way yeah it's i think he looks sweet with his little little

beard, his cute little beard, yeah, and his little glasses and his sweet little Hitler haircut.

Look at that!

Yeah, he's got a side part like Hitley, yeah, and then it's this long.

Yeah, I don't know what's going on with these guys, but they're

it's a really big lane now.

Um, then there's even weirder guys, like this fucking guy.

You still don't understand who I am

and why I was born.

Uh-huh.

You cannot break me.

Okay,

once again

i will break you amazing all hell king

you know i have a feeling you don't usually see a muffin top like that no and he had tits he had really nice jigglers i'm jealous yeah his tits are nicer than mine right now um i hate you know i i'm thinking andrew tate is the og he is kind of the og he's the prototype for this yes but he's legit that guy you know what i mean Andrews was a fighter.

He's an entrepreneur.

He's fit.

He wears the suits.

These guys are like, oh, I want to be that guy, maybe?

They prey on.

The thing is, they just prey on.

Like, this last guy is definitely autistic, but the other guys,

they do.

He's so out of his mind.

He's like, he's a fancy trainer.

You know what I mean?

He's out of his mind.

He's not.

This is not a real thing.

No.

He's completely delusional.

The other guys, though, they make money, but they make it just like preying on somebody who's like, I want to make more money.

And they're like, no shit.

The whole thing is that you're a bitch, dude.

You got to get your shit right.

Stupid.

Yeah.

And they just

so nonsense.

Well, it's also you.

You're making that guy rich because, like, give me $3,000 and I'll make you a guy.

You don't have any money?

I can't really help you.

Yeah.

Sometimes,

there's like these conferences.

There's also like, let me just show you like another one where it's like,

these are alphas.

Yeah, yeah.

Letting you know they're alphas.

They're like, they're getting people to sign up for this shit.

And then they're saying things like this, which is a come here.

Dude, I just fired a client that has paid me over $100,000 and pays me about $20,000 a month.

I fired him intentionally.

And we were literally just staying in their business relationship with them for money.

So I called him up and I said, hey, I'm going to shred our revenue share agreement.

And you're just going to do you and we're going to do us.

And he's like, what do you mean?

I'm like, dude, you're not a good guy.

You're not like us.

So like, I got to spend this time somewhere better for me.

And so do you.

Go build your own agencies.

Cool.

We'll be all right.

So like fire clients if they don't align with the core value.

Hell yeah, dude.

Yeah.

I don't know what's up.

For sure.

That's a total business 101 thing.

If it's not a good guy, then definitely don't take his money.

For sure.

Just be like, are you good?

Are you a nice guy?

Because that's who we do business.

That's all that matters is if you're a good dude.

Yeah, that's it.

That's how showbiz runs are you a good person the way that he's rubbing his arm just tells me how he made that up on the spot

like that's just something that i did

like no you didn't dude you did not do that

that's so

fucking full of shit that's not and then you get these guys all together which is another one and think of this think about like how

Like you sat here with Mark Cuban.

Yeah.

You know, we've met other really successful business people and just the way that they communicate and then check this out.

Yeah.

We have a fabrication company out in Texas and we had these go green guys that wanted to come in and buy it.

So we go to this fucking high-rise down in Houston.

They all got $600 shoots.

So we go into the room.

It's a dog and pony show.

So what do you do?

Where's your background?

I start out first, kind of tell him a little background.

By the time it gets to this motherfucker, he goes, here's the thing.

I'm here for one fucking thing.

It's fucking money.

I'm not going to give you no fucking bullshit.

I don't give a fuck if you guys are go green.

I drive a fucking diesel pickup truck.

I'm not trying to save the fucking world.

Don't ask me about my kids.

I don't want to hear about your fucking kids either.

We're here to take care of business for me.

You're wasting my motherfucking time.

So if you want to do business, we can do that.

But I'm not fucking going to go to school and tell you about my fucking story.

Hell yeah, dude.

I just wish they'd take their dicks out and start jacking each other right there.

That was so cool.

Everybody's dick is so hard right there, huh?

Do you realize that, like, we just gave you insight into some like really high-level business people?

And you could be paying $3,000 a month for that, and we just gave it to you for free.

Get in that fucking room.

Don't fucking, if you want to fuck around and hear some some fucking shit about my fucking family.

Fuck that shit, motherfucker.

I'm here to make fucking money.

And the guy's like, fuck yeah, bro.

I know.

Is this the Edith Bozzitzki school?

This is how my mother talks.

That would be her school.

Oh, yeah.

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Fucking

there's the main guy, like that guy that said he fired a client where he definitely lied.

Oh, yeah.

That's what is so insane.

He works for that guy in the white t-shirt that says his name.

And that's his name.

He's wearing, it's like the band wearing their t-shirt.

He's wearing his own shirt.

And he's redder than Bert.

Like, he's on so much

testosterone, this guy.

Is that what makes their faces red?

Yeah.

The T?

So flush.

Yeah, yeah.

It's so high level in him.

You're like, this is not a natural skin.

His whole thing is like, be fucking jacked.

If you want to work for me, you got to be jacked.

Oh, yeah, I've seen those videos.

If you work here, we played those guys.

That's it, I love it.

I love it.

But I have to say, I prefer this to like the sensitive ponytail guy vibe who lies to women and is like, you know, I've never received a blowjob together.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Well, it's a different angle.

It's just what angle do you like?

Some people love this angle.

I prefer this because it's like masculine, you know?

I'm into this.

But it's faux masculine.

It's not real.

Yes, they're overcompetent.

They're wildly insecure guys.

They're overcompetent.

Because I hang out with alphas.

I would say you and Joe and not Bert, but other men that are very strong men.

You hang out with, and you're in a male-dominated society culture, business.

That's correct.

You're always around, like, yeah.

The guys that you think are like this in private are not like this at all.

they're very tempered they're very the funny thing is these guys who talk like this they think that the most successful guys that are like way more successful than them yeah are doing this fuck you dude fuck that guy like in their mind that's what a really powerful guy is like it's very um gordon gecko is that was that his name yeah wall street yeah it's very wolf of wall street like douchebag so funny because i like that your your bullshit meter just i mean for me personally just fires off

so high.

You watch a guy like this and you're like, huh?

No.

What is this?

What are you doing?

No.

Why are you posturing like this?

I know.

And if you've got time.

You're going to make fucking money, motherfucker.

You're like, huh?

Especially if you've got time to have this much of an entourage and like a school of dudes with you.

Like, what are you doing?

You don't need 10 guys in your plane

to get a deal done.

There's 10 guys in your plane.

This plane isn't flying, by the way.

It's one of those sets.

This could be a TV set

where like influencers go to shoot their Instagram.

The giveaway is usually the audio, you know.

I'm here for one fucking thing.

It's fucking money.

I'm not going to give you no fucking bullshit.

And I could be flying.

He also was probably like, all right, we've got to split this 15 ways.

Yeah.

I'm going to give up $1,000.

Because that's a ton of people on a private jet.

It is.

And the weight, did they even allow this many people?

Two, three,

four,

five.

Anyone allow this many people?

Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve.

Yeah, there's at least least twelve the flight attendant 13 14 15 yeah it's a lot of weighted it's too weighted it's like it's max capacity right he was like you guys can come but no luggage all right just fucking just put everything in your pockets that day and no catering there's no way no these guys are basically sitting on each other's laps literally

on the bench seat i don't know any fucking gay shit but you can fucking sit over here if you want

Yeah, this is insane.

We got to have someone go to these.

Can we send Tanner?

Tanner, you want to go to

Andy Elliott Business School?

Go be a man, damn it.

He learned that.

And you go and you're like, look, I got some of my testosterone up.

I go into a men's retreat.

And then you're like, what?

And you just be like, now I want to sell more stuff.

He's like, okay.

Fuck yeah, dude.

You have to wear the Elliott shirt.

There's a guy.

The t-shirt is like...

The t-shirt's insane.

The t-shirt's so weird.

There's a phone call out there where a guy is calling Andy's school, like the,

you know, the, and the guy's like, all right, if you want to do this program, it's like 20 grand.

And he's like, what do you get for that?

He's like, you know, you get like, you get one-on-one time, you get to like bro, bro, bro him up, like bro, hug him.

And he's like, what?

Yeah, you know, like, bro, dap him up and like give them a hug and shit.

Yeah, he's like, oh, okay.

20 grand.

Yeah.

It's insane.

Wild.

It's like, and I.

And then, oh, and then it's a prank.

So the guy calling is like, oh, shit, I just found out like my grandmother died.

He's like, oh, fuck.

The guy's like, you still got that credit card info?

He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then he leaves off one number and the guy's like, hey, hold on.

I need to get all the info.

It's really.

Tanner, where is the school?

We got to send him.

Are you ready to learn how to be a fucking baller?

Are you ready for that, Tanner?

I'm born ready, man.

If I can drink Shivambu, I think I can roll with these dogs, you know?

Definitely, dude.

I can roll with these boys any day.

Can you imagine, like, even wrap your head around how masculine you'll come back if you go to?

Masculine and rich.

It would be crazy.

Yes.

Yes.

I think I can get them to drink piss, too.

I really think I can.

Please find out what are the different tiers.

And then what we'll do is.

Yeah, pricing.

And I think we should start you at the very bottom.

And then, you know we'll see like how your income is affected and if you're actually doing

and I think the thing that they probably get you to do is find out if you're good at selling that program to somebody else it's a it's a pyramid scheme yeah they're like so you give it this sell it to someone else can women join no it's not for girls is it only men is it really i mean like that's pretty much their language they use is

like come come be masculine come be a dude there's no like chick i mean we could start chicken

Not even lesbian school.

Oh, yeah, we could do a lesbian school.

Why don't we do that?

Rich lesbians.

I would love to do that.

There's power Lesis that

there's tons of cool stuff.

That'd be awesome.

That'd be so rad.

Dude, I would go to a power Lesi seminar.

Yeah.

Those bitches know what's up.

They're not constrained, confined by the patriarchy standards of beauty or behavior, anything.

No, not at all.

I love that stuff.

But I want to be.

I wish I were a lesbian.

I want to be a fucking badass motherfucker who doesn't take shit.

That's how the tanner will come back.

What's up, motherfuckers?

That's the best.

Sweet Tanner.

Yeah.

Check out this wad of cash in my fucking pocket right now.

Yeah.

So cool.

All right.

Research.

You're doing it.

Research.

What's involved?

I really want to send you.

I so want to send you.

Yeah, man.

Can I just praise you for a moment, by the way?

Speaking of positive male energy.

Praise me?

Yes.

okay i a while ago i was at my hardcore weightlifting gym my masculine energy gym yeah actual real dudes lift yeah and i finally got to meet face-to-face brigham bueller oh from ways to well yes he's been on joe's show you guys everybody knows him in texas great he's amazing he's such a great you know entrepreneur yeah and he's also very fit too so anyway We ran into each other at the gym, and I just wanted to pass along a really nice compliment he gave you.

He goes, You know, Tom has gotten into such amazing shape, and the fact that he does it on the road is incredible.

Like, how is he even doing that?

And I was like, Well, he's very dedicated.

You know, when he lands in a city, he goes to work out, like, you're on a very strict thing.

And he was very complimentary of you and your dedication to sparkle motion.

Well, that's really nice.

Thank you.

That's nice.

I love that guy.

He's really, really great.

And that company, what they do,

he's like a really positive, you know, like well-intentioned guy.

He's seen the inside, the dark side of like healthcare.

And he's always just, he's just a natural, like trying to help people.

Like, he really is just like, what's going on?

And how can I help?

And I see them like that with everybody.

Like, let me help this person out.

And then is he like, are you fucking lifting, bro?

He's like, bro, fucking worrying.

He's like, what the fuck?

Your protein intake is bullshit.

Your fucking T levels.

What are you, a chick?

Fucking step it up.

Yeah, he's like that.

Give me $3,000.

I'll make you rich.

Give me some money, and I'll fucking get your dick to grow.

Cool, man.

Yeah.

No, he's great.

He's great.

That whole team is great.

The whole Raisedwell team there.

They're good people.

But, I mean, also, it's kind of an appropriate discussion for our guest that's going to be coming in today, fitness and stuff.

I mean, it is an appropriate.

I've been holding on to that topic for so long.

Before our guest shows up, can you please show the Ilaria Baldwin clip that I sent him this morning?

I'm dying to get into this.

So as you guys know, she's got a TLC show with her husband and her 10 million children.

We've had obviously,

you know, clips of them in the past.

And like she famously is, you know, she's this Boston-born girl who spent time in Spain and then kind of adopted that

difficulty with English sometimes.

She's transracial.

Right.

And it's cool that we live in a time where you can just pick whatever you want to be i think she really likes being latin

she just likes it she likes it it's fine so anyway there's this clip i i got sent today of her and alec in a fight and apparently when ilaria hillary gets fired up she tends to pick up her spanish cadence which is the opposite of everyone on earth because what happens to most people is you are if you're speaking any language and you actually get emotional you revert to your mother tongue.

Oh, okay.

Because that's what comes out of you.

But that's what she does.

She forgets her native language.

And it's very strange to be emotional.

Right.

And gravitate towards your second language.

But Tom, is it possible her soul is Latin?

Yeah.

Maybe she is

Hispanic.

Yeah.

Sorry.

I always goof that up with you people.

I know.

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I know what you mean by what you mean you people you know what I fucking mean here here she is.

Yeah, let's watch it.

Go ahead.

So, yes, I agree that that's your reality of it, but what I used to do is I would say yes, and then I would do whatever I wanted, and I would just keep it from you.

You gaslight me.

No,

no.

Okay, hold on.

After my first marriage, I said, let's have a prenup.

I want to think about it.

No, no.

First of all, I still don't understand quite what a prenup.

It is awkward, but I don't actually quite understand what a prenup is because you're like, after a certain number of kids, it's this.

And I was like, you know what?

I'll just sign it, which was probably very stupid of me back then.

Now I read it again.

But like, I just said I will sign it.

I don't really want to think about the end by the beginning.

And then you're like, yeah, I don't want to do it.

You're speaking English in a Spanish cadence, which is always perilous for me.

Slow down, just a kiss.

I can't understand you.

That's hilarious.

That's probably the greatest line.

Slow down a kiss.

That's also how a father talks to his daughter.

A hundred thousand percent sweetie slow down a kiss jesus you know how you get like this i can't understand you

very emotional but you can see her turn

you're speaking english in a spanish cadence which is always perilous for me

What a great voice that Alec has.

It's fantastic.

It's God-given.

Like, you just, you can't train for that voice.

It's fantastic.

He needs to do every voiceover on everything ever.

He's so talented.

He really is.

I would love to hear his voice, like in the subway or his voice in the airplane.

How is it not an option for our phones?

Is it an option?

Can we have Alex Baldwin just God?

I would love that.

Hey, you have a text man.

Make it right here.

I think it's got to be.

It's got to be, right?

Send him a child.

Let him do it.

I know.

Let him be my Siri voice.

This is, yeah, it's hilarious.

Yeah, and all the kids are like Rocco,

Cuan Miguel, Rafael, Rafa.

Yeah, do you so you're you're a Spanish speaker, her Spanish, like you always tell me if they speak it well or not.

Does she have a great Spanish accent or just like an okay one?

Yeah, really good.

She really is, yeah.

So she's she's meant to be

Hispanic, as you say.

Yeah, well, she learned in Spain, and she speaks like a Spaniard.

Yeah.

Is she Catalan?

What is she doing?

No, no.

I mean, no, it's just Castilian.

Castellano.

But yeah, she speaks like

a native Spanish speaker.

She speaks really good Spanish.

That's impressive.

So maybe that's her thing, you know?

She's like...

I do think that

her family really...

Spain became their adopted second home.

So they're very immersed in it, you know.

Yeah, I think her parents moved there at retirement is what it was.

And she spent time there.

She spent time there.

She liked it.

She liked it.

She liked it.

But I think what

I think the problem was when she kind of she started out claiming to be Spanish when she started dating.

That was a weird thing.

Well, yeah.

I mean, because her name's Hillary.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's weird for an adult to go, you know.

Like, it'd be like if I'm like, my name is Tomaso.

I know.

And she didn't think that people could, like, check her work.

Like, journalists are going to check and see, oh, are you really Spanish?

They're not going to

famous, but if you fucking are with a famous person, they're going to figure it out.

They're going to figure you out.

Yeah, she could have sold that bullshit if she was just married to Alec the fucking plumber.

Of course, everyone would be like, Oh, your wife's from Spain?

And they would probably just be like, Yeah,

she should, yeah, she could just move to like a small town and just be a Laria as much as she wanted.

If she moved to like Iowa, then she'd be there to bellow the ball.

You know, no, not in, not in Judgor Titties.

She is of English, French, Canadian, German, Irish, and Slavic descent.

She was born and raised in in Boston.

Slovak.

Yeah.

Her agency's website listed her birthplace as Majorca, which is hilarious.

That's not true.

No, that's definitely not true.

Yeah.

Wow.

She has also heard mistaken statements that she was half Spanish.

Yeah, she's not Spanish by ethnicity at all.

She really wants to be.

I've never known somebody that really wanted to be Spanish.

I've never known somebody.

I think there's this thing of like people just,

if you have a certain genetic or ethnic background, you always like, there's things that people just go, that's sexier, right?

Being

French, being Italian, being Spanish, being Portuguese.

Like, those are like the love places and they're sexier.

The languages are cool.

People are always like, oh, speak, you know, say that again.

So true.

So there's just this thing if you're like, I'm a Boston chick with German, whatever, Slovak

descent.

You're just like, I'm a Spaniard.

That's so true.

Cause growing up, I was so embarrassed to be Hungarian.

It's not a cool European.

So I used to wish I were English or anything French, German.

I had the same thing, too, where it was like,

I had a Latin mother, but it's not the cool country.

Everyone was like, Peru?

Does your mom have a basket on her head?

And you're like, yeah.

Yeah,

it's not a cool one.

Fucking llama just.

It's not one of the sexy norms.

No, it's where, what Latin did you want to be?

Just, I mean,

look so everyone when i was a kid colombia was cool because it was violent so that would have been for a boy that would have been like yeah you know colombian there's

escobars down there and everyone would have been like oh that's

that's cool um yeah colombian's kind of hard yeah that's venezuela was kind of cool venezuela always had always had multiple women in miss universe so it was like a sexy place like they were you know i mean attractive people um

you know, the Argentines were always the aloof, kind of arrogant ones.

Yeah, they're like the white

Latin.

They're the white Latins.

And so I was always like, that's pretty fucking cool.

And then,

yeah.

I don't know.

It's kind of like,

you know, those were the ones that...

Because I was also very into South America.

I wasn't like really into, you know, I don't have any, I didn't have a reference for Central America.

And the Caribbean, I was always like, that's like fucking Alabama, you know.

It is.

Yeah.

That's too far out there.

Yeah.

You're not a part of that.

I used to want to be German because my grandmother was born there.

You know, like, I have German roots, and that language is a little more common.

Yeah.

It's so hard to, nobody speaks Hungarian.

This is terrible.

The German.

Gosh, that would have been.

Yeah, you're a real outlier out there.

I know it sucked.

And then, you know, in the 80s, we were at war with Russia, so everyone thought we were Russians.

I'm like, I'm not fucking dirty Russian, okay?

I'm not a filthy roofy.

Get that shit out of your mouth.

Get that shit out of your head, man.

Talk to me.

The dog is being good.

Let's take a quick break.

Look how small my hands are.

So petite.

She's just a little thing.

Yeah, let's grew up.

All right, we'll be right back.

And we are back with a tech entrepreneur, venture capitalist, biohacker known for his attempt at reversing aging.

He's the founder of Blueprint, a health optimization company where he's both the creator and test subject.

He's going to try to live to 380 years old.

It's Brian Johnson, everybody.

Welcome here.

Better known as fucking Brian.

Fucking Brian.

Fucking Brian.

Yeah, the documentary on Netflix called Don't Die.

It's really well done.

It's really well done.

And we have cameos in it.

Yeah, you do.

Yeah.

You play a big role in it, actually.

You think so?

Yeah.

Being the detractors.

You have the thick skin of a comic, though, because

we are always shit on by people, and you just kind of go like, yeah, whatever.

But you just kind of get it.

Well, you're doing something extreme.

And when somebody does something new and extreme, there's always got to be a voice of like, what the fuck is this?

That's right.

And that's kind of what's happening with you in a way.

By the way, you in this documentary, when they show old you, you are

unrecognized.

Like, it is literally like two completely different people.

Like, I have, you know, old videos and footage where I look different, like I lost weight, but you look like it's another person was born.

It's dramatic.

Yeah.

Almost every six months, I feel like I've become a different human now, the speed of change.

Like you look at my pictures over the past three years.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's different humans.

Crazy, dude.

Really crazy.

That's wild, bro.

Yeah, I mean, the guy in the far left there, I'd be like, is that your cousin?

Yeah, it's true.

Well, what is it?

Because you're leaning out.

There's like no body fat on you.

We know you're.

What's your body fat at?

What's your level?

Probably 10%, 910%.

There's so much to get into.

I mean, obviously, the documentary goes through your daily protocol,

which I think it's fair to say it's pretty extreme.

Like, it's not chill.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, that's right.

I mean, you do some things that I think are very

almost like a given for a healthy living, which is, of course, avoiding certain foods like sugar and fried foods junk food um i mean we could start with your morning routine which is that you get up what 4 35?

yeah i go to bed 8 30 yeah 8 30.

yeah so the way to think about the morning routine or i guess the entire routine is if you say life expectancy is 77 you know that's what we have on average then you can take that number and divide it by three by uh days you're going to live and just calculate a die per day, right?

So you die a little bit every single day.

Right.

And so then you can say, what things accelerate that rate of death?

You say smoking would do that and drinking may, you know, and not getting good sleep.

All those things reduce you.

Exactly.

And then you say, what things actually increase that possibility?

You extend that.

Sleep well and eat well and don't consume toxins and stuff like that.

And so what we try to do is we try to say, we're going to look at my body at a molecular level.

We're going to figure out every single thing that causes me to die and every single thing that causes me to reduce that speed and actually regenerate.

And so that's what my morning routine is.

It's just like a mathematical equation of how do you actually stop that molecular death process in every way possible.

And so it's really just a very.

But between the food and the eating and the supplements, which are, I mean, countless, hundreds of pills a day, this focus on all these, why, like, why the obsession, you think?

Because it is like, I think it's almost fair to say it's an obsession.

So it's actually,

I'll give you a historical analogy.

So imagine if you exist in 1870

and there's a new idea roaming around town and it's this person saying that there are these microscopic objects called bacteria that cause infection.

And there's one doctor who's washing their hands in between surgeries.

And everyone else is kind of like, that's stupid.

You're slowing down the process.

So if you're a person that's, if you're delivering a baby or you're getting surgery, You want to know if that thing is true or not because if you step in the wrong line, you might lose your life.

Yeah.

And so that ended up being true, that bacteria does exist.

It does increase the risk of death.

And so I want to suggest there's a new idea right now that's floating around town, and that is that we may be the first generation who won't die.

You really believe in actually,

I didn't realize that it's not just extending life.

You mean like it's possible that people could live forever?

To halt the cellular decay of the organs and everything.

And are you successfully halting decay right now?

So in some degrees I I am.

So I guess in first, I'll say that I don't think the things I'm doing now have a path to immortality.

What I'm saying is if you look at the progress of AI and you just say, okay, so things that have happened in the past that have doubled lifespan, let's just say it's antibiotics and hygiene practices and like end-of-life care for cancer, stuff like that.

That's successfully doubled lifespan over the past few decades or past century.

And so.

People who have done those things have been just really smart people.

They've discovered things, invented things.

And now with AI, you basically have like a billion new human geniuses working on problems.

And then assuming you're going to have a trillion new billion-level human geniuses working on problems.

And so as you get more intelligence working on really hard problems, the speed at which you're going to solve problems is going to increase.

And so if you just simply do a basic probability of like how fast do we think we can solve these basic things of aging,

just say you solve 2% per year over the next few years, right?

You start making a pretty big dent.

So for example, even the things I'm doing now, my speed of aging is

0.48, which means my birthday happens every 24 months.

So, I've dramatically slowed down my speed of aging, which means disease progression is substantially less, right?

All bad things are less.

And so, yeah, so basically, what I'm saying is, this is the big idea happening right now in the world: is we may be the first generation to not die.

And it's the first time in human history that is something anybody could say with a straight face.

Before, it's just been like this irony thing played out where someone tries to do it and they die some humorous death.

Sure.

It's real now.

Now, do you think, though, that

even that being said, you being able to do this, it takes such a crazy amount of effort and obviously resources and everything that it's only something applicable to somebody kind of in your

tax bracket and with the time to like, can a regular person get a piece of this without committing the way you've committed?

Yeah, absolutely.

So that's the cool thing.

So we've, I've tried to go to the absolute extreme because I'm trying to make a point.

I'm trying to say, what can science do?

And I'm trying to be the performance art of like, what does, don't I look like in action?

But you can actually do just like 80, you know, 20% of what I do and get 80% of the benefits.

So just getting the basics right and sleep and exercise and diet gets you the majority of the things I get.

So what's the diet?

Because you are vegan.

So why that?

Yeah, I'm plant-based.

So what we did is we basically crawled through, the reason why it cost me millions of dollars is we crawled through all the scientific evidence ever published on health spam lifespan we just said like what does the evidence say instead of storytelling and antidote and that costs money yeah i mean that's that's really you have to look through every single study and you say do you believe this evidence like is this uh you know on what was the study design like all these different ways to assess the credibility and then say do we think we're going to implement this so we made a list of like the top 100 studies that help extend lifespan and then we've been systematically implementing those in my life so what i do every day is basically a power law of all the best science ever ever What about the, there's a critical, there's, I mean, the

documentary I give them credit, it's pretty balanced.

You know, you hear voices of support, you hear criticisms.

So, one of the critiques from I don't remember whom was like, well, how come, what about the idea of you funding this research in science on a larger level?

I mean, does that has that ever appealed to you?

During trials,

yeah, yeah, I mean, so the

what I'm trying to do is, so if we say

putting a million dollars into anti-aging research produces some kind of outcome, then if I try to do it, let's say I could put in 100 million or 200 million or 500 million.

What I want is I want a trillion dollars to invest in anti-aging.

And the way you do that is you convince the human race that we are the first generation that won't die.

If you become convinced, right, and you turn everybody on that mark, so what I'm trying to do is leverage my resources to get a trillion dollars along this path.

And just like as a species, like this is the biggest moment we've had ever do you judge uh billionaires like carlos swim slim and bill gates and elon musk for being like doughy and out of shape i mean um isn't it unforgivable it is on it's unforgivable so they but so if you think about it like the game they're playing right it's basically 20th century heroism which means that you you basically are playing uh wealth accumulation yeah right power accumulation yeah so that you win by doing, by maximizing that number.

And so you do so at the cost of your health because if you're going to die anyways, like, what does it matter?

If you die at the age 50 or 60, but in glory instead of 70, 80 in a wheelchair, what does it matter?

They're playing a 20th century glorification of accomplishment.

And what I'm suggesting is that's a 20th century game.

Now,

if we're not going to die, a different game is here.

And it's no longer about that one number maximization.

It's existence is the highest virtue.

and so it breaks all previous models of like how do you achieve power status and prestige in society.

Yes, because they're fat and it's not fat, and they're not attractive, and that's not cool.

Yeah, it's really cool.

Also, I'm fucking eating fatty.

I also love your facial regimen.

Are you doing the vampire facial?

Is that what I saw you doing?

No, in the dock, um, so yeah, I did that once, yeah, and but I don't do that regularly.

Yeah, the stuff we do, so two, I guess, okay, three things: Creams mostly don't work.

I agree.

Right?

Well, it works.

Yeah, so mostly devices.

So there's a technology I use called softwave.

I just did it.

Yeah, instead of filler,

it's soak.

Yes.

Did you buy the machine?

I have one at the house, yeah.

Oh, I got to buy one.

Yeah, I'm not doing it.

I'm doing whole body.

Whole body.

That's what's up.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, thanks.

That's what's up.

Yeah, right.

So where'd you have it done?

In Los Angeles, my plastic surgeon.

Oh, on my face and neck.

Yeah.

And did you?

I just did it like two weeks ago.

Yeah.

Yeah, so it's legit.

So it goes, it's ultrasound.

It is 1.5 millimeters below the dermis.

And it does, yeah, has on like a per millimeter cubed, it does like 25% collagen production.

It's really good for collagen.

We're buying this.

Yeah, your skin looks fresh.

Your skin looks amazing.

Thanks.

So no fillers anymore.

If I saw you, they were injecting you.

I used to do fillers too.

Oh, so it's actually, I don't do fillers.

That was PRP.

So that was like blood from my body, and you spit it up, you separate plasma and blood, and you read.

Yeah, so I don't do fillers.

I thought you were doing fillers I'm like this guy

you went to Honduras in the documentary yeah and you got this one injection that you like I think they mentioned that like it you it could be like a bodybuilding yeah gene therapy right but that particular one I forget the folostatin did um what did you find any direct results of that particular thing did that do anything for you yeah uh we saw a seven percent increase in uh muscle mass from that yeah that's significant yeah it was big and then we actually measured my folestatin levels like so the idea is you put this

you inject this um plasmid it increases folestatin expression so you have higher levels and higher levels you know has these additional benefits and so we measured it actually did work it increased my folestatin levels increased my muscle mass and then how long did it take to see that result in muscle mass i think my measurement was like four or five months that's pretty significant yeah so you did i i assume that also meant you got stronger in that period uh i didn't do a test to see if I increased in strength.

I just did an MRI looking at muscle mass.

And is that full of statin, am I saying right, fullostatin?

Is that something you could only get there?

Is that why you went to do it?

That's right.

It's not approved.

Yeah, they built it in Prosper because they have a different regulatory framework.

Is it incredibly expensive?

It's 25 grand.

For the one injection?

Yeah.

And is it something that, like they mentioned, it's a kind of fascinating aspect of it that this could alter someone's DNA, but at least in the documentary, they say that it's kind of revocable with the way they do it.

Yeah, exactly.

So is your level now permanently higher?

It was just a spike in the exactly.

Yeah.

It's like the, if you really want to punch through 120 years of age, you need some kind of gene therapy.

And so this is not.

Are you going to

are we there, dude?

Are we there?

I'm telling you, you guys, I'm telling you, don't die.

Like we are, we're there.

It's not obvious.

It's like we don't have the things off the shelf right now, but like it's moving.

And I think in our lifespans, there's plenty of time to get this.

And it feels like you're,

I feel like every month there's another possibility of something, right, that you're discovering.

Yeah.

So are you into some new wild shit right now?

Yeah, we're doing, we're doing, yeah, we're always doing new stuff.

He's like, yeah.

Yeah, we're doing some exosomes on Monday when I'm back in LA.

Some wild.

Yeah, exosomes.

What's that?

Yeah, so

you've maybe heard of stem cells?

Yes.

Yeah.

So you do these kinds of

treatments that have, people have used them for all kinds of things.

Like they use it for facials.

They've been trying to treat people with paralysis, like to rebuild spinal injuries.

So they're used for a wide variety of things.

I used mesenchomyl stem cells I did on my joints as an experimentation.

So we're always, but like,

like

you really are a human lab, right?

Yeah.

Aren't you afraid?

Are you afraid you might inadvertently hurt yourself trying these things out?

We were really safe.

So when we go through this process, like, so I would say this, oftentimes people suspect or suggest that I am somehow at greater risk.

Yeah.

And I would suggest they are at greater risk because we measure me so intensely.

Yeah.

How can you get your blood work done?

I mean, depends on what we're doing, but you know, sometimes weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, I'm getting MRI scans all the time.

We're doing like,

we're doing microbiome, urine, like we're doing everything all the time.

Do you drink your shivambu?

What is that?

Oh, oh, man.

You're not even on this yet?

Come on, man.

Tell me,

what am I?

What am I missing?

Vitamins, minerals, oxytocin, and bonding hormone, which lowers cortisol.

So, not only am I getting the benefit of the urine therapy, which is powerful on its own, the shivambu, I should call it, but I'm also getting the benefit of the sperm, the semen, tiny bit of semen that's been mixed in with my urine.

Since then,

What?

Wow.

Wow.

It's very, very potent.

This guy is like something else.

This has to be comedy, no?

No.

No, he's not.

No, he's like 100%.

No way.

100%.

No way.

That's

a retreat that he gives.

Yeah, he has like huge retreats.

He's in Canada.

I swear to God.

Will Blunderfield.

Yeah, yeah.

So he's consuming his urine and sperm.

Well, he's saying that there's a little bit of that that's coming into the urine.

It's mostly about the urine, yeah.

Yeah.

He's a big urine drinking guy.

Yeah, like a uratini, like a urine and spermi.

However, look at his skin glowing.

I mean, he's in great health.

He's 67.

Look at him.

But he is a healthy guy.

He is a healthy guy.

Violene.

Have you tried marathons?

Have you tried?

No, I mean, I measure my sperm weekly now, but weekly?

Yeah, we just started doing that.

Yeah.

What's the point of that?

What is that?

Well,

so, like, what we find out is when you measure these things weekly, you just find these really neat relationships with how things change.

So I've been measuring my, I've measured my sperm four times over the past four years, which is not enough.

So we need to see like what happens when, and then, you know, like when we have the LA fires, what happens when your body is filled with toxins?

Does your sperm go down?

You know, like, does the motility go down?

So we're just, every time we want to know more, we just increase the density of measurement.

Then you start seeing all these relationships.

And you're seeing a change in your, like, your sperm count or just like in the...

The health of the sperm?

Yeah, so you've got various metrics.

Like, you want to see total sperm count.

You want to see the motility of the sperm, like how many are swimmers.

Yeah, you want to see the DNA fragmentation index.

That's kind of a disputed idea, but you want to characterize the sperm through various quantities.

And then you can decide an age to it.

So everything we do always has an age.

So you can be, you know, I'm 47 years old, but like

my heart is 37.

Oh, yeah.

My cardiovascular ability is age 18.

My nighttime erections are age 18.

Are better than an average 18-year-old.

What about your bean bag?

Those sperm are pretty young too.

Type of sperm motility.

Well, speaking of sperm, your son is in the movie.

Talmadge?

Yeah, that's right.

Is that a Mormon name?

It's his great-grandfather's name.

Okay.

Really, lovely kid.

I think everybody who watched that doc like really enjoyed

seeing him in it, seeing your guy's relationship.

And then it's clear that he's, I mean, appears to be like kind of following in your footsteps.

So he might be like our...

I mean, we'll be long gone, but he might be fucking 160 or so.

Tom, Tom, don't give up easily.

Don't, yeah.

You got to shift that mindset.

Okay.

All right.

Right.

So you're, you're really committed to this lifetime.

You're going to do it.

You're this close.

So I'm talking at South by Southwest on Thursday.

Yeah.

And I want to give a talk about 10 reasons why death is dumb.

I love it.

You're drinking liquid death.

I love liquid death.

And I'm just saying.

It's soda.

I'm just saying death is on.

Yeah.

Right.

But

my life is so bizarre.

I go around trying to convince people not to die.

And I'm called a fucking weirdo.

Right.

But dumb.

But Talmud is great.

You know, I have three kids.

I didn't really imagine that my child would become my best friend.

Yeah.

And

it's like he teases me.

It's like sometimes he knows in my intonation.

When I say his name, he's like, oh, you're in dad mode.

Yeah, yeah.

Right.

And it's like, I'm just going to command what he does, and he does it no matter what, what happens.

And other times, he's like my peer.

Sure.

And we're very much morphing into that kind of thing.

But it's like my favorite.

I mean, again, it's a documentary, but you guys seem to have a really cool bond you guys are two peas in a pot we are even your physicality watching the two of you have chats and you're both working out and it's like it's really nice actually you don't see that very often now you guys only took each other's plasma once that's right that's it yeah how did that go yeah did your father see benefits huge benefits really yeah gigantic so people don't realize that you guys maybe know this i did it because my father was experiencing cognitive decline yes yeah and so um honestly he he has turned his life around.

He's in his early 70s.

Exactly.

His friends,

his coworkers are like, Rich, what is happening?

Like, we do not understand this.

You attribute it all to the plasma transfer?

Part of it.

He's on blueprint as well, but that was a significant spike in his well-being.

And I suspect now it's been over a year, so the effects have to be wearing off, if not worn off entirely.

But I mean, it kick-started something in him that was really.

He did mesenchamyl stem cells with me.

He did the fullestatin gene therapy.

Are you a big peptide guy, too?

I did that when I sprained my ankle but not daily you're not daily into like bpc 157 and you don't do like the blue what's it called methylene methylene blue yeah we're going to to start that next month hey that i'm a big fan of that cool have you uh have you taken it yeah and what's been your experience uh a cognitive boost yeah you literally feel like i i kind of call you know how like sometimes i mean you're the way your body functions i don't know if any of this is even relatable but like sometimes you wake up and you get your day started and you have kind of like a fog yeah And for me, if I go right to workout, the workout knocks the fog off.

I feel like this methylene blue

does it even without that.

Yeah.

And what's your dosage?

I get it in pill form.

Yeah.

And I take two in the morning.

I don't know what the milligrams or whatever are in it, but I'll look it up.

Cool.

Yeah, we just did, we did our baseline test.

We did three metabolic tests.

And we're going to see where my baseline levels are.

Then we'll figure out the dose.

We're excited to try it.

I'm a huge fan of of it.

The other one that I just got on is a sleep peptide that goes after what is the gland?

Pineal gland.

Pineal gland.

Yeah.

Dude.

Huh.

Game changer.

Really?

Game changer.

In what way?

Well, I haven't been monitoring it, but my friend who was monitoring it, his sleep was like, I'm getting two and a half hours more REM sleep, which is a substantial boost.

And what I feel is that, A, I'm definitely sleeping deeper.

Yeah.

And in a practical term, I can tell you things like if I get up to pee or

I just go, I go right back to bed.

If the kid, you know, our kids are young, if they come in the room, I either don't hear it, like I don't, it, I don't pop up anymore,

or if I do, it's like immediately back to sleep.

So that, like, that's how I can like describe the difference versus before taking it.

And I've been on it for like three weeks now.

And like, I don't ever want to not have it.

Interesting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

We've been looking at my pine nail glands.

We did an MRI and we are as you age it calcifies and then it stops producing

it stops produces melatonin which is why you supplement as you get older.

Yeah.

And so we were looking at using this ultrasound technology to ablate it.

So basically can you use ultrasound and knock out the calcification so you get back to

the bottom.

That's because you're so like in tune with how things affect you if you would, if this peptide would be like a real game changer for you.

Hold on though.

Can you break up the calcifications?

So that was the theory.

So you can use ultrasound to ablate all kinds of things, stones and stuff like that.

So it was just a repurposing of can you do a different part and can you do it in the brain?

So when you're in the brain, you want to be very careful.

So we had these, I did one session.

We started with very low dose.

So we actually didn't complete the entire protocol.

I had to travel and never got back to it.

But yeah, this is the kind of technology where if you can decalcify, maybe you can restore youthal function.

Yeah, maybe.

It sounds logical.

I want to go back to what Christina said first, which was about your diet.

Why, like, you know, there's so many recommended ways to eat now, and everybody has to juggle.

Why is vegan right for you?

Yeah.

So, yeah, I say it's plant-based.

Vegan has like all this

plant-based.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah.

So we were just driven by the evidence.

And so we went through the evidence and we say, what foods have the highest value contribution to lowering your speed of aging and maintaining health?

And we just rank them.

So there's no like we don't have a horse in this race we don't have a axe to grind we just wanted uh highest quality evidence and so we created this don't die plate and so i basically eat a lot of uh legumes like lentils uh beans eramame uh a lot of extra virgin olive oil that's uh yeah we saw you drinking that one oh i brought you i brought you as a bottle and you drink it

well i put on all my things

but you can the drinking of it it was hard to watch you know what i love olive oil have you eat it all we put it that's how we cook we don't cook with anything

Have you had a good olive oil?

I made one.

Yeah, I've had some good olive oil.

Can we bring one out?

Can I get to you guys?

Let's drink some oil.

Let's get some oil.

Let's put some olive oil in your coffee.

Okay.

I'll try it.

So hold on.

So he's legumes, he's veggies, he's olive oil.

Berries, tofu, berries, seeds.

Your browns must be incredible.

I have the best bowel movements.

How many times a day are we going?

Just in the morning?

Yeah, but it's like it's, I never, I'm never upset.

I've never had any problems.

I'm never bloated.

That's the nice bit.

Yeah.

Where's your olive oil?

Like,

where's the olives from?

Are you U.S., Europe-based?

Everywhere.

So we do

both hemispheres because we're trying to keep it within consumption within 12 months of harvest.

And so, because

it's not like wine where it gets better over time, it degrades.

You want to drink it as close to harvest as possible.

Hold on.

Speaking of alcohol, it's on the carcinogen list.

Alcohol?

Yes.

I just had a bout of breast cancer, and my oncologist says that it's on the list.

Yeah, so I was going to ask you about that.

That was July of last year.

How are you doing?

I'm fine.

Thank you for asking.

Cancer-free, cancer-free.

I'm just going to have my breast reconstructed in August.

And I was curious about how did this happen to me?

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

It was hormonal-based.

It was a very rare form of cancer.

But my oncologist told me that one in six women will have breast cancer.

One in six.

And I said, why?

The environment, plastics, and everything.

And so, you know, what I started doing like a real wacko, hydroponic gardening.

I'm growing my own vegetables and everyone thinks I'm I'm nuts too, but it tastes incredible.

You take a piece of lettuce off your own hydroponic garden with seeds that are non-GMO.

Yeah.

It tastes unreal.

It's not like the crap.

No, are you growing your own veg?

Because you know, to get those nutrients,

you're not going to like HEB or whatever and buying vegetables.

So we've actually been wanting, I want us to, I actually want to build a garden.

You should.

And do that and control the environment.

I'll come over.

I'll show you what to do.

It's actually,

it's notably different eating these hydroponic with non-GMO seeds.

How big is this?

It's like a small thing, or you can see it.

I'll show you what I have.

There's different sizes.

No matter what space you have, you can do it.

There's one that just grows lettuce that you can have in your home.

It's also not as involved as it sounds.

It's very easy.

It's cool.

And it's also expensive, but it's not like, holy shit.

But you're spending that much on organic produce.

So, yeah, organic is like full of shit.

So then what the fuck are you eating, Brian?

I know.

Okay, so here's the thing.

We have been tearing.

Let me get this.

Yeah, are you going to really put in my coffee?

Is that going to taste good?

You're going to love it.

Are you sure?

I'm telling you, it's...

I'm afraid.

Oh, God.

It's great.

Are you ready?

Tom, do you have something you can get it in?

Vodka.

Do you guys make me one?

Do you have coffee?

I don't.

I love it.

I mean, it's great.

Is it unhealthy to drink coffee?

It just gets, it creates a mood swing for me.

It does.

Yeah, that's normal.

That's because you're so dialed in that you can actually sense these things, right?

Yeah.

Like I noticed that when I went from eating...

Oh, it is good.

That's pleasant.

Isn't it?

Yeah.

It's just, it's pleasant.

It's not, oh, wow.

Try it.

I prefer my own.

And it's the healthiest thing you're going to have all day long.

That's really good.

When you're someone that eats like shit.

and just everything, like I was eating like that for a long time, you actually can't sense what changes exactly.

You know what I mean?

Like you have something the next day and they're like, Don't you feel better?

You're like, I don't know.

I can't tell.

Like, you can't tell.

And the more restrictive you get, you actually are able to detect, oh, this actually made me feel this way.

This made me feel that way.

So your sense for that must be like very high.

Do you drink alcohol?

No.

Okay, so that's why.

That's a huge thing.

So I was going to say, we smoke meth?

With a little Coke, you know, like a little topper.

When we started doing this, like going into the dye equation, we started measuring everything I was eating.

So every single food, every every single supplement, all my water, all my air.

And so

everything.

And so food, as you know, is incredibly toxic.

Yes.

And so it's horrifyingly bad, and there's no standard.

So we're creating a new thing called Don't Die Certified.

We're going to crowdsource this where you take your favorite food, vote it up, and then it'll be like $500 per test or whatever it is.

We'll get the results back.

We'll post it for the public.

So any food.

And we're going to try to test.

Are you going to...

Thank you very much, read

not sure try this it's actually really good it's cold brew because i need like that oh it's cold brew i think that would yeah okay have brian put it in because he has the right amount he knows how much to put in

it's actually good i'm embarrassed to say i didn't want to like i didn't want to like it i didn't want to like you i watched your documentary i liked you because i just saw you on tick tock brian yeah and i was like this guy's out of his mind it's like everybody is and then you're like oh it's not and look what's the harm obviously you're you're doing this to yourself you're a grown-up grown-up.

This is your choice.

You can do whatever the heck you want to your body.

You want to staple your nuts to your leg?

You can do that.

Who cares?

I mean, there's that cool chick that just had sex with a thousand guys in a day.

Yeah, she's a motherfucker.

And then there's Ryan.

What makes me look so weird?

I think these shot.

How is it?

Hold on.

It's actually really good.

Yeah.

It's actually really good.

Very nice.

Yeah.

And that's good for me?

Yeah.

It's so that I consume more olive oil than any other food type in my diet.

15% of my daily calories.

Can I ask, before you get on to what makes you fucking weird?

Oh my God, I thought you were drinking olive oil.

If it wasn't a gift, I would.

Well, I read that it has antioxidant properties after I got diagnosed with cancer.

I was reading about cancer.

I genuinely really like it.

It tastes very good.

It tastes really good.

So there's one thing that stood out in the documentary.

Oh, there's many things, but this in particular.

One point they're going over your diet, and somebody's with you in your kitchen, and they go, Are you hungry?

And you go,

I'm hungry quite a bit.

Yeah.

And what I wanted to ask, because, you know, there's, if you get to like, if you're around pro-bodybuilders, for instance, when they get to competition and they get very lean, very cut, they're all miserable.

They're like, I'm fucking dying right now to maintain this aesthetic.

Headaches, mood swings.

They want to eat.

Their body's asking them to eat more.

To what degree, like your last meal of the day is at what time?

Noon.

Noon.

What?

So,

so you're fasting.

That's a long fast.

Yeah.

So, but why, like, how are you dealing?

Like, how bad is your hunger?

How are you dealing with the hunger?

Yeah.

That particular scene from the documentary was when I was earlier on in the project and I was doing 1,950 calories a day.

So I was 20% caloric restriction.

So it's pretty, pretty deep.

That's why I got pretty skinny.

So I've since increased it to

2,000, and 250.

So I'm substantially more.

And so right now, my hunger is in check.

So I am

slightly hungry all the time, but I find it really enjoyable.

Because having eaten too much is actually quite miserable.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And even feeling like neutral, it's okay, but I like the edge of a slight hunger.

I feel more creative.

I feel more energetic.

I just feel better.

It's like being on Ozimpic.

Yeah.

That's where I'm at right now.

Yeah.

What's your dosage on that?

5,000 milligrams.

Yeah, yeah.

Cool.

How long have you been on that?

I don't know.

Honestly, I think I do one milligram.

Yeah.

A couple months now.

Cool.

What's your range?

What's your experience?

I like it.

Like what you're saying.

I eat a very light dinner and then I fast until lunchtime the next day and I have a decent healthy lunch.

a lot of veg, lean protein.

And then I have a light dinner and then I'm back.

I don't do alcohol anymore because of the cancer stuff.

Yeah.

Not too much dairy.

I try not to consume dairy.

I like it.

I feel lighter.

I like to feel, and here's the truth of it.

I like to feel skinny.

I like to have my clothes fitting me loose.

And you can move better.

It's good.

So when I met you today, that was the first thought I had.

I thought you felt

you feel good.

I could tell the way your clothes were on you and the way you moved.

Yeah, I did.

I felt you.

I thought like, you're feeling good about this.

Softwave, how much are you doing it?

Let's talk about that machine.

So you, it's like every, okay, here's a secret.

Every two two months is like the most you can do it.

You have to do two months yet to build it.

So the way you can cheat that healing time is by doing hyperbaric oxygen therapy.

I just did that one.

I had cancer too.

I want to buy a chamber.

Okay, yes.

I'll give you, I'll tell you which chamber to buy.

I just did 69 sessions.

That's amazing for anti-aging.

And you know what?

It's the best whole body skin rejuvenation therapy you can do.

It's better than any treatment.

And for your organs, for the oxygenation of all your organs.

That's why you people do that nutty stuff.

Yeah, so

we're going to share our data this week.

Yeah.

It has probably been the most effective whole body therapy we've done.

Hyperbaric stuff.

Of course.

I think so, too.

There's so many hyperbaric chambers.

Yeah, if you pull up Brian Johnson, how did you find it?

Find the one that

is the right one for you.

So we got a hard shell.

Yes, I moved my office.

You see all the memes people are doing on me.

Stop it.

You're working in there?

Yeah, so because in these hard shells.

That's yours?

Yeah.

So in these hard shell chambers, it's two atmospheres and but the oxygen level is 21 percent which is what atmosphere is so it's just the flammability of our environment right now so you can take your electronics in there and work otherwise if you have to peel off 90 minutes a day you can't do it so i basically work there in the first 90 minutes so you still get the benefits of a different level of oxygen yeah because that mask so you breathe 20 minutes on with oxygen then take a five minute break so 20 on five off and you do it for 90 minutes and yeah like it it improved my microbiome my brain my skin my v my cardiovascular ability yeah um my it reduced um these advanced glycated end products like junk in your your body it's just like whole body we're really surprised but do you do you not do you not understand

like are you curious as to why people are like this guy's crazy

i'll tell you why

you don't like self-awareness checks like

like only because it's to most people yeah even with your mission being clear and like I get the drive.

Hyperboard chamber chat is a little bit more.

Like that with like, I mean, that's like not even that crazy, I think, but like, you know, all of it together, I think it's just that people go like, well, who could commit to this?

Yeah.

You know, and they see it as very few people.

So I get that.

So I, I've, to help bridge that gap.

Um, so if you see LeBron James, yes.

You're like, he, he performed really well in court, one of the best basketball players of all time.

And he sleeps well and eats well.

And you're like, goddammit, LeBron, you're fucking cool.

Yeah.

Right.

And then a guy like me, people don't know who I am.

So they're like, who is this vampire billionaire, tech billionaire, Patrick Bateman, Prometheus, fuckface guy?

Oh, Patrick Bateman, totally.

You're a vampire Patrick Bateman.

Sounds like you've been reading some comments

because they don't know.

So I was like, you guys, I get it.

Also,

I'm a rejuvenation athlete.

And so I created this Olympic sport.

We have a leaderboard.

It's who has the lowest speed of aging in the world.

Anybody can compete.

Oh my God.

How do you, how does, because that's an interesting thing when people like in documentaries, articles about you, you know, they'll be like

rate of aging is this or, you know, like you're like, my lungs are this age, my heart's, how can somebody check what theirs is?

Like, how do they verify that?

Yeah.

So you can do these age tests.

They're so much fun because like we could actually do seven in studio today.

What?

Let's do it, bro.

Yeah, yeah.

How?

Yeah.

So seven easy ones.

So, for example, you can do grip strength.

So there's a little meter.

Yeah.

Yeah, just hold it.

So, and there's a...

Do you have one with you?

Guys, do we have a...

Let's do it.

Do we have a grip strength thing with us?

I hope we do.

That'd be cool.

Yeah.

Okay, so, and that's a measure of longevity?

Then you look at a chart and you say your age, and then you say for your age, you're at 25th, 50th, 75th percentile, or 99th percentile.

You can do another one, a one-legged stand.

So you stand on one leg and you close your eyes.

it's very hard to stay just stand upright on one foot with your eyes closed it measures your balance so as you age you're okay yeah um you can do sit and reach so just sit on the ground you're trying to stretch

yeah that's age-based uh continuous push-ups continuous push-ups you know the thing about push-ups is though

there's a real range of push-ups that people are doing I've seen people claim their push-ups at a certain level and then you're like that's not a fucking good yeah I know exactly Yeah, yeah.

So, we have standards and rules, but like, these are just introductory ones, and then, of course, you can get so much more advanced.

You can look at your age of your heart, of your lungs, of your brain, of your speed of aging in your body.

It's like I've done more biological age tests than any human in history.

That's for sure.

We measure everything because it's so fun.

Like, what happens when, like, when you do methylation blue, yes, like, what happens to your immune system?

Does it change?

Does it become younger in its biology in its profile?

So, we're trying to assess all these cause and effects.

So when you feel that, why?

See, I think why you struck me as odd in the beginning is because I'm like, why is he doing it?

What's the why?

And I was like, is this guy like, is this a vanity thing?

Like, does he just want to be like jacked?

You know, like, he's just, then I was like, and then your precision, the way you speak, you're very precise.

Even earlier, you were like, my diet was at one point, how many calories?

1,200.

And then I increased it to 2,200.

I'm like, who, that's that's so precise it's just the way your mind works we're sloppy comedians we don't think that way you know yeah it seems very i don't see i think the good news you guys won't have to right like

like society for example like you can typically drink tap water and not die so there's like some basic level of health built into society as we get better technology you're not gonna have to do the stuff i do you're just gonna like do society food's gonna be clean like you're gonna have you ever step off the plan for some indulgence that you

either want or think you want?

Very rigorous.

Yeah.

I mean, rarely.

I did go to Burning Man.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

I threw off the routine.

Yes.

I went to, I did the, I was on stage with Rufus.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

And they were filming it.

I didn't think much of it.

But you have people watching.

They're like, Is that Brian Johnson on stage with Rufus at Burning Man?

Did you like Burning Man?

It was fun.

Yes, you had fun.

That's what I I was going to ask you.

What does Brian Johnson do for fun?

We had so much fun.

Did you do drugs?

Did you do LSD?

Did you mushrooms?

Did you do shrooms?

We went out on the playa.

So on Friday night, the last weekend, we were up all night long.

Yes.

That's definitely not your normal.

All night long.

Kind of that feel.

It was amazing.

We had such a fantastic time.

Yeah.

Wow.

Did you vlog yourself after?

No, like we.

We took naps during the day, trying to get ready for it.

And we took one nap during the day.

We tried tried one at night.

So really trying to be thoughtful about it.

But yeah, I mean, is travel difficult for you to maintain your protocol?

It seems like it'd be a challenge.

Yeah.

So I went to India and China last month, two months ago, and it increased my speed of aging by

almost 30 to 40 percent.

Oh, my goodness.

Just from

being off the

time travel, the time difference, the lack of sleep.

What about something like coming to Austin, though?

Does that screw you up at all?

Yeah, well, so like a little bit.

Like my hotel room,

it has a little, there's a light on the balcony.

Weirdly, you can't turn it off, and I can't close the curtains all the way.

So, light comes into my room, and then you have a mask on, it takes the mask off, and the eye, the body is just sensitive to light, and so it changes my circadian rhythm.

My bed is not chilled like I have at home.

Um, a chilled bed, yeah.

Um, my room is not cool enough, so like there's small things here and there.

What temperature are you sleeping?

Uh, so I turned the temp down to 65 in my bedroom.

Wow, I guess

this is a thing, thing.

Yeah, married couple thing.

Yeah, I got it.

You guys sleep in the same bed?

Yeah.

How's that going?

I mean, it's been 45 years.

Yeah.

Have you ever tried not sleeping in the same bed?

Tell me about it.

Well, he travels a lot for work, so we don't sleep in the same bed often.

That's true.

We have separate comforts.

I will say I sleep better at home than on the road, though, for sure.

Yeah, exactly.

You have your boo-boo.

How many days do you travel?

Oh, a lot.

Yes.

And how do you, is it pretty tough?

Yeah, it can be.

Yeah, right.

Travel's tough.

I mean, it's the, like, I'm very lucky.

I'm very fortunate.

You know, I get it.

My job is getting on stage and doing stand-up, which is fun.

That's the fun part.

Yeah.

The travel, a lot of times, it's like, you know, fly out Thursday, you go to the gig, then we fly out, then we land somewhere Friday at midnight, then you go to the hotel, then you do the show the next day, you fly out again, you know,

and it's like over and over and over.

So the, you know, your body, you can feel it.

You feel yourself starting.

Even with like on the road, we prioritize training every day.

We always, we train on the road every day because it actually helps your brain and obviously your body function.

And we eat pretty well.

Sometimes it's harder to find, you know, depending on the market.

Sometimes you're like, I'm trying to find this food that I want.

It's good food.

It can be a challenge.

But I think the hardest part of it is actually

the time zones and the actually just the constant movement where, you know, you could do a four-day, five-day run.

If you do that two, three weeks in a row, you're just cooked after it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you have any kind of stimulants built in?

Like, do you do caffeine before your show to get into the right?

I mean, I'm caffeine daily.

I would say most of the time, I would say probably like 80% of the time, our workout is

like around three hours or so before we leave to go do the show.

So it's like, I like it later in the day because it kind of I wake up with those.

Yeah.

And then, you know, we'll eat something usually modest after that, clean.

you kind of you get showered you get dressed you go to the venue yeah and then

um

you know do your show it just depends on like

that's when things start to like you know to get up for the show yeah i'll drink a little caffeine before a show

then the the part that wears on you is going to sleep because if we're spending the night in the city where the show is in you know you go back to the hotel It's going to be already 11 something, probably.

And it's it's really hard to come off of like a show and be like, time to go to bed.

So you're actually just trying to get your brain and everything to calm down.

And then when you start to get messed up, it's like, you know, if we're going to leave early the next day, so then you don't sleep well, and then you travel,

and then you change time zones, and you're trying to make that adjustment.

It's the cumulative effect of that.

I think if you did it like once or twice, you'd be like, it's fine.

But it's just the day after, day after, day thing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I feel for you.

Yeah.

I mean, doing this, I'm here here at austin all week and uh like i'm sure by day four i'll be feeling like i really want to be at home yeah yeah you definitely i mean i get home and i sleep so much better yeah but that circadian that rhythm you're talking about like when i got diagnosed with breast cancer i was like what and i thought back to the last 15 years of being on the road like that i was working like that too and now you're not sleeping properly you're not eating properly and since i've been home and off the road i feel so much better yeah Well, there's some people that.

Sleep is the thing, man.

It is.

Especially for women, our rhythms are different than men.

Our hormones are regulated through sleep.

You gotta, I sleep more than him.

Yeah, you know it too.

And it's harder for women as women age to get sleep.

So women have to work harder for high-quality sleep than men do as you age.

Even though it's like emotional stuff, like menopause, you mean, like waking up and all that shit.

Yeah.

It's terrible.

Yeah.

Do you do coffee on them?

No, I haven't.

Yeah.

Have you done it?

I actually did.

I did it.

That's awesome.

I did it a few years ago.

This lady does it.

I mean, you're not constipated, so there's no reason to.

No, she needs to be on a vegan plant-based.

You just plug a pipe in.

It looks like it's just a bag of coffee, and then

she does her headstand.

Okay, she's feeding coffee into...

Yes.

Okay.

And then she'll go sit on the can and just make it all extra brown in there.

Huh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Just everything will come out.

Yeah.

Wow.

I did it.

I did the

colonics one.

Yeah.

What'd you think?

You know, I didn't know what to think.

Yeah.

Going,

there is,

it's so bizarre.

What does it feel like?

You feel like you're kind of getting bloated, right?

And then there's this thing where they, obviously, if you want to have an experienced person who's kind of telling you, let that feeling happen.

Yeah.

Don't resist.

Yeah.

And then you kind of, you know, you ease, you're like, oh, then you

calmly take it in.

You're like, okay.

And then when everything is leaving and you're seeing it leave, there is like this sense of pride.

You're like, yeah, I did that.

And you like it.

Yeah.

And then you feel so light.

You do.

Yes.

You got to get into this.

Yeah.

I'm missing out on all the good stuff.

Yeah.

You feel really good about it.

You're not even drinking your urine.

Yeah.

And you're not giving yourself coffee enemas.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you do, do you, do you sharpen your sword every day?

You know, like Mantak Chia stuff.

But it's that.

This guy's like the

bad.

I don't even know what I'm doing.

So the women practice on the egg.

What do the men do?

Okay, this is the world leader in this.

They have to practice

sharpening their knife.

Okay.

Now you get the penis out.

Yeah.

You pull the skin.

A lot of people, they never circumstances.

Yeah.

So they have the skin.

So you pull the skin and you get the oil in the hand and you rub, hand gold like this.

You rub, rub, rub, rub.

Especially on the gland penis.

Rub them.

50 times.

Are you serious?

It's totally true.

Because you make them strong and not sensitive.

50 times, once, one

right side, 50 times, left side, 50 times, front, 50 times back, 50 times down.

That's a wow.

That's a lot.

300 times.

Yeah.

How often am I doing this?

You have to do every day until you can control.

Every day.

I mean, this guy is like the, he's the one that coaches, he does seminars for this worldwide.

Yeah.

For men and women.

Yeah.

And that does what?

What's the sharpen your sword?

Sharpen your knife.

Complete, total control mastery of your orgasms.

Yes.

extending them.

And then the next level is like how you can basically be the ultimate partner to the other person.

Like he's like the voice on

for men and women, like your own orgasms and then the orgasm of the other person.

I want to see it measured.

Oh, wow.

Right.

So these are the kinds of things they live in antidote.

Yes.

I want to see him lead the leaderboard.

Oh, right.

Watch him jack off or something.

Yeah, right.

Like you got it, you got to measure that shit.

Otherwise, this is like it sits in storyland and like everyone's telling us like how good they are.

Wow, did you realize Brian just called him out?

He's like, show me, bitch.

He's the one where that guy remember that like stories of new york guy where he was there was this guy who was like i i can yeah so this guy was like i'm basically i'm the best lover and i can blow a woman's mind yeah and

there was everybody kind of like rolled their eyes at this guy like okay

Turns out after he did that, then there were these women that came forward.

They were like, oh no, he's the real deal.

I've slept with him and he's amazing.

And then he credited this guy with everything.

Yeah.

Like he was like, this is who taught me.

All right.

We need to do a come off.

Yeah.

Like, yeah, I mean, that's a great idea.

In addition to measuring the motility of your sperm, you need to get into it.

Can you add sharpening your knife to your daily regimen?

I know you're already four hours deep into one.

I have powerful orgasms, by the way.

Do you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Actually, I would love to actually measure that.

How

you can?

Are you saying the duration and intensity, like the peak and the tail?

So, okay.

Yes.

And also, like, just

time in like time and you know, when a man has an orgasm, there's like a pump, right?

Like, like a flex.

I don't know what you would call it where you go, yeah.

Dude, I'm up sometimes 14, 15, 16, 17 of those.

Pumps.

Yes.

Yeah.

That's a lot.

That's, I mean,

yeah.

Before I met her, it was three.

Thank you.

Yeah.

I think that's,

I think, I think the 14, 15 is actually pretty high.

Wow.

Yeah, I'm guessing.

It is pretty high.

Yeah.

For sure.

I mean, I've had conversations with other people about it, and they're like, oh, I'm 5, 6, 7.

Yeah, I said the median is probably like five, six, seven.

Oh, wow.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're definitely on like 99th percentile.

I'm trying to put out my own video like this.

I don't really know that I did anything to earn it other than I was masturbating at five.

Yeah.

So maybe that was it.

Are you doing 300 sharpenings?

A day?

Left, right, up, down, straight.

Rap, rap, rap.

I don't know.

Rem, ramp, rap, rap.

I don't know.

I love his presentation, though.

He's into it.

No, he's.

This is his life, dude.

He is.

he's the guy he's the guy if you want to get and by the way you can do soft wave on the vagina wow hold on

it snaps though you know how it hurts at the very end

it's i don't like the end that's okay you deal with it it's so painful so hold on who's doing it for you do you have like a doctor come in and soft wave you or your assistant uh yes and then i do my my body on myself oh you can do it on your own you do your you do your privates too um i do shockwave on my dick yes wow what does that do to it though shockwave so yeah this this is the collagen,

I would say H-bot is like up there.

Focus shockwave is like very close second.

What does that do to it?

So, I used it when I sprained my ankle.

I had a fracture and a high-grade sprain, and it accelerates healing.

So, people who tear ACLs, knee injuries, any kind of injury, you can use it to accelerate that.

It's also used for whole-body rejuvenation.

I'm doing the world's first whole body rejuvenation protocol where I just do every joint proactively.

And then we did it on the penis for increased nighttime nighttime erections and it affected them yes you said you have the erections of an 18 year old at night yeah exactly

these are like in sleep erections is that what that means exactly it's a cool biomarker because you can't just like you go to the gym and you can work hard to lift heavy weights yeah but nighttime erections just happen you can't try to have them you just go to sleep and either they happen or they don't and it's a very clear age biomarker your penis doesn't work like you know At age 18, you have around two and a half hours of nighttime erections.

What?

Yeah.

And I'm at three hours and two minutes.

Wow.

How are you measuring that?

There's a little device.

It's just like a cube.

It's a one-inch cube.

I should have brought it here.

It's okay.

Nah, it's a new one.

It's a new one.

Okay.

Yeah.

You know what?

I messed up.

I should have brought the eye.

So I should have brought the.

Wait, is the

fact that you're doing this treatment to the penis the reason that it's doing this?

That it's having these nighttime erections?

Yeah.

So basically.

It's a shockwave machine.

Yeah.

So it rebuilds collagen.

It rebuilds the.

How often do you have to do it to it?

Three therapies.

So it's like three total.

Yeah.

You do like once a year, three therapies once per year.

Dude, how do I do this?

Yeah, where are you going?

So they're everywhere.

So yeah, just type in Austin focused shockwave therapy.

There's a few vendors.

And you can say, I want my penis done.

Yeah.

Does it hurt, though?

Yes.

Yeah.

Because the whatever, the soft wave that we do on our face.

But this one has to be applied by a

doc.

Medical person, right?

You can get the machine.

I have the machine.

But I'm saying, like, if you're doing it at a place, they do it too.

Yeah, they do it.

Yeah.

You actually sit in the chair in stirrups.

They're like, all right,

let's, let's get it out.

Pull your dong out.

Yeah, pull your dong out.

And I asked the doctor, I was like, so is it better flaccid or erect?

Like, yeah, good question.

Because, like, is the tissue is going to change.

Right.

Yeah.

What'd he say?

He said, I don't know.

Oh.

Brian, what about cellulite?

What can I do for my cellulite?

You know what?

I have.

Stop being so fat.

I have not looked into that.

I will.

Yeah.

I'll look into it.

Tell me the machine.

I'll look into it for you.

Look, you could do your deal, bro.

There we go.

Yeah.

That looks pretty funny.

So, yeah,

when you do it, I think what you'll feel is

your dick will feel younger.

It'll just feel more.

It'll feel more firm.

Like the tissue will just feel more bouncy.

Dang.

That might motivate me to put a picture out there of it.

That's pretty cool.

You should do.

You should drop a dick pic.

I mean, it should be.

Could you imagine?

You did a nude photo shoot.

That was pretty cool.

I did, yeah.

Yeah.

I think that's actually, you're going to really like that.

Did you show your stuff?

Seriously, like, one day.

Did you show your junk?

I've never actually showed my junk.

Yeah, don't show your junk.

No, but I meant I just mean that like at one day, one day you'll be 80 and very healthy, but it'll be fun to have that photo of you.

Yeah, dude, Brian, totally in his mind, he's like, no, I'm not, bitch.

How'd you know?

No, I'm not.

Yeah.

I saw it in his mind.

I was being polite.

I was being polite.

Okay, you know you'll be 80 because you're actually 100.

Exactly.

I read minds.

I mean the ESP.

What about this, Brian?

You're very dedicated to this cause.

You've got your son.

You have a full life.

I imagine for a woman to be with you, she would have to equally be into this lifestyle of yours.

Like, you guys would have to wake up at 4:30 together and do this stuff.

You're talking about dating apps on the doc, too.

You went on some dates.

Yeah, there's no way a normal, the normal, you know what I mean, a woman that's not fully into this

could deal with it.

Yeah.

No, I think someone could be chill.

Like, I could, I'm, I wouldn't require them to be the same, doing the same thing.

Same level?

No.

But she's got to be fit and into the

because you know.

Yeah, you can't.

Yeah,

for sure.

Yeah.

Some pig who just weighs around is not good.

Yeah.

I'm just like, let's order a pizza.

Yeah, no, that wouldn't work.

But I mean, I think it's

a lot of women really like this, right?

The boundary conditions are clear.

Right?

Like,

you know what you're getting.

Yeah.

That's good because you mentioned in the documentary.

that like you lead with like, hey, I'm just letting you know.

Exactly.

Heads up.

This is its own thing going on here.

Yeah.

But that's good because it lets somebody know whether they want to step in and try it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Have you done the apps more?

Uh, no, I really, so man, it's why aren't you on the elite app?

Yeah.

Like, what?

What is that?

Oh, yeah, I've done that.

Oh, isn't that like the best you can get?

Man, I'm so scarred.

Yeah.

I am

just getting in the wrong situation

is so fucked up and it just

lingers for so long.

Yes.

That I, I mean, yeah, I would just be honest and say, like.

You must have people, though, reaching out.

Like, like, you're in a documentary.

Sure.

People who have got to be hitting you up left and right.

Like, I'd love to try dating you.

Sure.

And honestly, it's just not worth the risk to me right now.

Yeah, I hear you.

I mean, we have so much momentum of what we're doing.

And like, you just get yourself in a situation where an accusation.

You're going to find somebody out in the weirdest situation.

That's how you're going to be.

I can't wait.

Like, who's it going to be?

You're going to be getting your dick sapped, and someone will be like,

Yeah.

Can I tell you, for some reason, I see him with like a sage type, like some girl who's into like

sound baths and healing.

It's got to be somebody who is really into wellness, too.

Yeah.

That's what's going to work for you.

But not on this masculine side of it.

She's going to be a healing person, maybe.

Sure.

Like a hippie chick.

And she's all hairy and smelly, like the opposite of him in some ways.

But he likes it.

He's like, yeah, sage.

You should date a physical therapist, man.

Just somebody.

But just so convenient, right?

Or yeah.

Or like a doctor.

Just like

bring the doctor in house.

Oh, my God.

Who's just fascinated with what you're doing?

Yeah, like, can you spin up an IV drip for me?

Yes.

Yeah, right.

Tom's saying it now.

Like, this is, this is perfect.

This is a good idea.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Are you super gassy?

No.

Actually, people assume I am.

I'm not.

With a legume intake, I mean, I know.

My body's normalized.

Yeah.

Even with all the broccoli and cauliflower.

What was the most you weighed ever?

214.

214 is your highest?

Actually, maybe in high school I was a bit more, but like 214 in my early 20s.

Okay.

And what do you weigh now?

Like 170.

Damn, that's pretty dramatic.

Yeah.

I mean, I was obese.

I was depressed.

I was taught.

I mean, I was in a really bad state.

I almost killed myself.

Yeah, that's in the dock.

Yeah, yeah.

It's very powerful.

Yeah.

I mean, it sucks.

It really sucks being in that state.

But do you think that being in that state wasn't just like you know, eating and living a certain way, but also was the fact that you kind of were coming to terms with like this religion's not for me, like all that together, right?

Yeah, I honestly, I think, um, so I tried, I was depressed, and I was trying a whole bunch of things to address it, and I think what really happened was

I was in a bad relationship, and I was basically trying to leave the Mormon religion, and I think they were both trying to tell me what to do,

and it just just crushed my soul.

And I just couldn't see it.

And because I had kids and the idea of leaving my born into religion was such a big move, like leaving my community and my family and my identity.

So it was just like a gigantic shift.

Once I got over that, I mean, it was kind of

little thing of my entire world.

Existence, yeah.

Yeah, you nailed it.

Well, because the from from what I understand with the Mormon church is that once you leave, you're you're excommunicated.

If you're not allowed to be spoken to, your family has to drop you.

So that's a really big deal.

And I lost two of my kids.

You know, like,

we're friendly,

but like, they, I'm, for all intents and purposes, like, I'm not really their dad in terms of like, they don't come to me like, hey, dad, I need help with this given thing because I, you know, I'm not part of the church.

I can't be trusted.

They're practicing.

They're practicing.

Yeah, they're practicing.

Yeah.

It's like, we're friendly.

I talk to them all the time.

I try my very best.

But yeah, I mean, so yeah, it came at this gigantic cost and just, it's not free.

No,

it's devastating.

Yeah.

It's tough.

But then staying in the misery of what you were in, you know, you did the right thing.

Yeah.

And I hope my kids will come back.

You know, like in time.

You don't, they're still so young.

Yeah.

Well, you're going to be alive forever so they can come find you.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's a good, that's a great perspective.

Thanks.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Let's talk about cool rich guy stuff.

So

what's like besides medical equipment and

fucking he loves talking about what's your cool rich guy stuff?

Like, what's the coolest thing you bought when you, when you got money?

A jet.

A house, whatever, car, whatever.

The best.

It's the jet.

It's, yeah.

So I started flying

15 years ago.

And I was flying myself to various work meetings.

I had a little propeller plane.

Yeah.

And I almost died twice in it.

And so I thought, I need to stop flying.

Yeah.

He's into this shit, too.

He's piloting.

I just saw that.

He wants his helicopter pilot.

That's cool.

I almost have my license.

Are you doing helicopters?

I've been

up sometimes, yeah.

Yeah.

How many hours do you have in?

I don't, I'm not close.

No.

Yeah.

It's the schedule.

It doesn't allow me to.

Oh, too bad.

Are you flying planes too?

I've gone up a few times to fly planes, but I don't have a license.

Yeah, did you hear him?

Almost died twice.

Yeah, but that was his fault.

Nothing.

Yeah,

dumb people did that.

Yeah.

Were you flying a Cessna or something?

Yeah, 172.

Oh, yeah.

That's what I went up in.

Then I bought a Bonanza A36, and then I almost died twice.

And so I was like, all right, stop flying or buy a jet.

Because then you have a turbine engine instead of a piston.

And you've got two engines instead of one.

And you can fly above the weather instead of through the weather.

And so I bought a jet and it just kind of fell in love with it.

It's just the best.

What kind of did you get?

Can I ask?

I bought a Mustang first, and then I got a Phenom 300.

Those are incredible.

They're so fast.

Yep.

So light.

Yeah.

And crazy range for that size.

They're fantastic.

Hold on.

How old is your jet?

So I don't know how I sold it in the pandemic.

So yeah, there was like a two to two and a half year time where I just wasn't flying.

And you've got to fly the plane.

Otherwise, it just, yeah, there it is.

Yeah, those are rad.

It is so fun to fly.

Yeah, I got my license.

So you got instrument rated to fly this?

Yep.

Yeah.

You can fly that solo.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, will you be getting another jet?

You know, I honestly am really kind kind of mixed on this.

I fly commercial right now everywhere I go.

Germs.

You're aging every time you get on one of those.

Yeah, they raise the UV rate.

Wait, so wait, wait,

what were you saying, though?

Yes.

Yeah.

So what was I saying?

No, just that you're like, I'm flying commercial.

I'm buying another jet.

Yeah, so I wasn't flying.

I was doing blueprint and I was.

basically not traveling because we were trying to do everything perfect for my biomarkers and traveling is so so costly on hurting biomarkers.

And so I had like a four-year run, but I just wasn't traveling.

And then the plane owns you, where you have to fly somewhere every week because if you don't, the plane just, you know, you create risk because something that's not used in a mechanical system is going to fail.

Yeah.

And so it's got to be used.

And so I just wasn't using it.

And it was such a pain in my ass.

So I just got rid of it.

And so, but now recently I've been traveling a lot more.

So yeah, I'm thinking,

yeah, I mean, let's get another.

But you know, like, I,

mean, flying is just

so fun.

It's the greatest.

Yeah.

All right.

I'm going to ask you if I should get a jet and just remember, I'm going to send this clip to my business managers.

Yeah.

So you just give me a hard sell on why it's a great idea.

Ready?

Yes.

Brian, like as a guy who's kind of done it all and had all these things, do you think I should get a jet?

Unquestionably.

Really?

Yeah, you can get a jet and you can probably get away with the annual operating costs at around $4,000 to $500,000.

Wow.

Yep.

So just get a four seater you know has a range of call it a thousand miles uh cruises like three four hundred miles an hour and so it will suck doing like coast to coast if you're east coast doing west coast that sucks but given you're in austin yeah you've got nice short hops yeah so anywhere in the u.s is like a pretty doable you have like one two stop runs and uh just get a pilot um yeah fly anytime and it will be worth the money wow yeah maybe i should that would help me to pursue getting my license to get to the point where i can do what you did right like actually get licensed, get instrument rated and fly.

Yeah, so I think you definitely should get your license,

but also I'd always fly with a co-pilot.

Sure.

Yeah, because if you don't, I think the stats are something like professional pilots are like seven times safer than amateur pilots, which I am.

Yeah.

Cause you get in the plane, you're like remembering stuff.

You're not doing it all day, every day.

So you're just not fast.

And so if you get into a situation and you need to be fast, you're kind of screwed.

So I always have someone in the cockpit with me.

That's awesome.

So I do, yeah.

It's like, so if your financials allow it,

it definitely, it was worth

worth the increased efficiency of the things you can do.

Yeah.

And the way you can do them.

Save time.

So much time.

I almost feel like I can't not get one.

I kind of feel that way too, babe.

But in truth, because you do travel constantly, it's built into your business.

Like it's a necessity.

I mean, you guys just convinced me.

Yeah, yeah,

there's good, there's like no, good low-cost planes, like turbine.

And so Are they safe if they're low?

They're safe.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

So you don't need to, the Frenom was, I think, like 8 million I paid or something like that.

But you can get four seaters for

probably like even less than a million, like $7,000 to $100,000.

What?

Yep.

Finance it.

And then

operating costs are pretty low.

What about a backup plane?

Mark Cuban has a backup plane.

What is his?

Like, what is backup plane?

He has a Bombardier, and then he has an older Gulfstream.

So he was like, he said it wasn't worth it at the time to sell the Gulfstream.

And then he goes, when the Bombardier is in service for something, then I'll take the Gulfstream.

Yeah, yeah, but he's got in a unique situation, you know.

Like, uh, most people don't go, like, I got a backup plan, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

backup plan.

He also sold the Mavericks, so now what happened to your nail polish?

You're not doing your nails blue, yeah, yeah, that was like my early days.

I was like, I can do whatever I want, I'm gonna put on their nail polish.

You can, I can do whatever you want.

I went out of that phase, but like, yeah, I want to do it.

By the way, I've really enjoyed the

day.

He drank the whole thing, yeah.

Yeah, so uh, do it every day.

It's really, really good for you.

You know, you said that you're socially awkward in the documentary.

I don't think you are.

I think you're fine.

Don't I have like some stripes of like some autistic behaviors?

Yeah, we all do.

We're all comedians, entrepreneurs.

We're all.

But you're not.

Yeah.

You're just precise.

You're one of those guys.

You're perceptive of social cues.

And like,

I mean, either that or you're just like really studying when you're not here.

You're just like,

laugh when they say something.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

That's cute.

Yeah.

No.

I don't think so.

I think you're just like a smart guy.

Before we go, just like for people who are still skeptical or whatever, is there somewhere you can, I mean, I know Blueprint's the company and you guys have, I think, some protocols that people can follow, right?

Yeah.

What's like a good,

gentle way in to all of this for someone who's like, I'm curious, but I don't know.

Yeah, Yeah, I'll share it with you guys so you can have it as part of your lifestyles.

Okay, I'm writing it down.

Okay, cool.

Yeah, this is, I'm going to distill like the most powerful

laws of what I've learned for the past four years.

Okay.

Let's go.

Okay.

So, first,

I just want to say to you guys and the audience, dying is dumb.

Okay.

All right.

Yeah.

I believe I'm on the premise.

Let's go.

Dying is dumb.

I accept this premise.

Great.

Okay.

So you want to make sleep

your number one life priority.

And that's hard.

That is very hard because she mocks me.

I don't.

I value nothing.

I'm on the same train as you.

The things she says I mock her for, I'm actually totally intensely jealous of, which is the fact that she's like, I'm tired right now.

And just fucking goes to sleep whenever she wants.

Yeah.

At any hour.

Yeah.

It's insane.

Clear conscience, babe.

Yeah.

So

the hard thing about this, though, is it's really not built into our culture.

We just like sleep whenever we have time.

Yes.

So you need to build your life around sleep.

So here's how you do it.

Okay.

So the most important thing is your resting heart rate before bed.

Okay.

So that is after your show or when you're getting ready for bed.

When you lay down on a pillow, measure your resting heart rate.

So if you have a wearable, like an Apple Watch or War, okay, great.

So just look at your beats per minute, and you'll probably be something like 60, thereabouts.

Yeah.

And so you want it, so say it's 60, okay?

Your goal is to try to go from 60 to 50 over the next few weeks, okay?

Because the lower your heart rate, the better your sleep.

And by to lower your heart rate, there's obviously different, like one thing would be avoiding stimulants.

Exactly.

And another thing would be tactics like breathing, meditation.

Exactly.

Exactly.

So the drivers are, those things are big.

Also, food.

Because when you eat food, your body's pump, your heart's pumping, trying to digest.

And so you want to eat, that's why I eat at noon because I give my body nine hours to digest so when I go to bed my body's fully completed its primary digestion is done and my heart rate is 44 now if I eat at four or five my heart rate's gonna be at 52 or 53 if I eat something bad it's like 60

and so and that's gonna just destroy my sleep now what happens if those people listening are drinking a few beers having the pizza and then going to bed what's that look like it's wrecking their sleep because their heart rate will be up probably 20 beats per minute.

And there's an exact relationship with heart rate and lower quality sleep.

So it's going to demolish their deep sleep.

And so deep sleep is when the trash collector, the trash truck rolls through your body and it picks up all the garbage.

And if you miss that deep sleep window, the trash collector doesn't come and you have trash accumulation.

It's not like the next day.

Do you feel it?

Yeah.

And the trash collector doesn't come back and like, oh, I'm going to pick up three days of trash.

It can only fit so much in the truck.

And so you don't want to miss these cleanup windows.

So when you're saying to trash collectors, so people understand, it's like cellular repair.

They're picking up toxins, or is that what you're meaning?

Yeah, exactly.

Autophagy, where like your body literally goes through like a, it's like a self-eating process and it cleans up trash in your body and gets rid of the debris.

So this is why you take all these supplements and you do this stuff so that everything is at optimal performance.

So your body is not in like a deficit.

So now you're optimal and then your body can just clean the organs, clean everything every night.

Exactly.

So yeah, so you're if your bedtime is, let's say at 10 o'clock, let's say Tom, you're at midnight thereabouts.

So try to have your final meal of the day at least two hours, if not six hours before bed.

And just experiment.

But you'll see the earlier and the lighter you eat, it will drive down your heart rate and you'll feel amazing because your sleep will get better.

And then Tom, you mentioned also the wind down routine.

And so what I do is I actually do self-talk.

And so I give the various versions of me names.

So I'll say like ambitious Brian, anxious Brian, you know, dad Brian.

And then I'll listen to their voice when they show up.

You know, like Dad Brian, 7.30 p.m.

when I'm doing my wine-down routine, my bedtime's at 8.30.

You know, Dad, Brian may be like, today when you were talking to Genevieve on the call, you know, we had this interaction and like you really should have been more understanding or like whatever the rumination is.

And so I'll have to like listen to that and say, okay, great.

And I'm going to write that theme down and say, like, I'm going to call Genevieve tomorrow and say, hey, babe.

Like, you know, so, but otherwise, if you don't do that, I'm going to put my head on the the pillow and I'll think, ah, that thing about Genevieve today.

And then I wake up in the middle of the night and it's like, oh, Genevieve.

And so you need to kind of get that thing washed out.

Also, red and blue light.

So turn screens off.

Blue light's really bad.

So you want to have red light and amber light in your house and your environment, stimulants earlier in the day,

and then be consistent.

So the body really is as good as a clock in terms of keeping time.

So

if you say your bedtime is midnight or 10 or whatever you do, be on time like within a plus or minus 15 minutes, really work hard to be on time.

And so, that's your first goal is like make sleep.

And you will be a better human in every way, shape, and form if you make sleep your top priority.

There's just there's no drug more powerful than sleep.

I believe that.

I believe that too.

I believe that too.

I think it dictates everything for the day.

Yeah.

What about your fitness, man?

What are you doing?

What's the fitness routine?

Yeah, I work out an hour a day.

I do strength, cardio, flexibility, and mobility.

And so, a balance.

and so you rotate what you're doing throughout the week yeah yeah I just I kind of play around the gym I'm not very structured I do various things but yeah I spend a full hour and then I measure everything I'm trying to be age 18 in all metrics and so I peg that for the goal and yeah it's just a non-negotiable every day an hour and it's awesome well I'll tell you this traveling commercial you'll get colds and stuff do you do you work out when you're sick i do oh wow I mean,

does that wear down your organs?

So I might work out a bit lighter.

Like if it's if I'm feeling really bad, I'll chill, right?

Obviously getting the body's in space, but mostly I just work through it.

Dang.

Right, if I can leave you with anything, get that jet, dude.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Yeah.

You know, it's complicated, though, because I'm very mindful.

Like, why am I packing this big metal thing around for one person or a few people?

No, no, no, no, no.

It's morally and that's what we complicated for me.

I I really, I strongly struggle with it.

The jet?

Yeah.

Why, the carbon footprint thing?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you can like, you can easily rationalize it.

You're trying to live or you're trying to die, man.

I know.

Yeah, I hear you.

Yeah.

And also, I will say

the one thing I really, Tom and I both agreed with you so much.

In the beginning of the documentary, you talk about how the mind can tell you what to do.

The mind tells you what to eat.

And I think the average bear watching you goes, well, where's the joy?

You're not eating this.

You're not enjoying your Coca-Cola, your pizza, your hot dog.

It's like, Yeah, but once you realize those things aren't actually bringing you joy, exactly.

This is this is the lie.

I immediately thought of watching that, your documentary of the book Discipline is Destiny.

Have you read that?

Yes, I've heard of it.

I haven't read it.

It's so good, and I think you will actually, it's an easy read.

It's by Ryan Holliday, it's very consumable, and it has all these incredible stories about it.

And the way that it explains the joy, like what you're saying, yes, that discipline brings you, and how the person without them that appears to be enjoying everything, like how they're actually not free.

They're slaves to these things that drive them.

It's extremely well written.

Highly recommend it.

I think you would get a real kick out of it.

But how would the average person kick this notion that, well, without wine, without pizza, without these junky things in my life, how will I be happy?

How do you kick it?

Yeah.

I mean,

we all know that that stuff is misery, right?

And I don't think anyone really wants to do it.

They just do.

I think they do.

Yeah.

They

they kind of, it's a cope, right?

They say they want because they can't stop it.

And so they're in a bad,

bad state.

I've never felt better in my entire life.

Like I've never been more emotionally stable.

I've never had like a bigger consciousness.

You know, like negative things don't get to me.

like i'm just good and i don't think i've ever been able to say that in my entire life that i'm just good like honestly it's all okay yeah and so like i guess like fun it's like a different direction but just to be good with existence i would give anything for that i mean i was so tortured for most my life

this is like yeah i mean you're kind of a living example of

honestly a lot of the messages of that book really yeah it's really cool yeah ryan lives here no he's yeah he's a friend.

Yeah, I met him years ago.

We're in touch occasionally, but he's a great guy.

He's great.

You guys would definitely bro down.

Go do his podcast.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

He's really great.

Go do his podcast.

I'll introduce you to him if you want.

Yeah.

No, we're in touch.

We just haven't been together for a while.

Okay.

And you two, with your personalities, I think would, right?

Can't you see the two of them?

Yes.

Yeah.

I think you do.

You like him very much.

Yeah.

Cool.

Well, thank you for coming.

Yeah, it's cool to hang with you guys.

It's fun to hang with you.

Come back when you're 120.

Well, this is a full circle.

So, yeah, if we so we're gonna do a don't die 2 documentary, yeah.

So, you guys need to talk some shit.

Oh, easy!

Oh, you got it, fucking Brian, fucking Brian, yes, fucking guys, out of his goddamn money,

okay.

All right, we appreciate you.

Thank you.

See you guys, see you next week.

Oh, yeah, piss on me, beat me,

please hold me, beat me,

piss on me, beat me,

piss on me, beat oh yeah

This only beat me

This on me big me

This on me

This on me

oh yeah This only beat me

This on me

This on me

This only beat me oh yeah This only big me

This only baby

Guys who must have fucking fucked good

If you're a hot black guy you wanna fuck me at twenty three ninety five If you wanna move in, you can move in, but you gotta fuck me.

And I need, I need to be fucked a lot, man.

And we're at free food, free rent, and everything else, man.

Here's a deal, man.

Literally, you gotta fuck up with the p.

You see me when I come off it today, fired up, fired up, man.

You see me when I come off it today, fired out before that, man.

I'm a hot fuck white trash, comfortable.

Fire that man, I need I need to be fucked a lot, man.

For that, man.

Piss on me, beat me, I hold me, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.